#is this idea post entirely too long????
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joel miller x reader idea/blurb
⬇️ all hail the horny
my headcanon is that joel is a kinky mf and of course so is Reader. knowing this i would imagine joel sometimes gets a little carried away and leaves bruises on you in places that are harder to cover up, and it becomes a problem especially during the warmer months.
maria is very protective of you —even more so after you’ve started dating joel because she obviously doesn’t really trust him or think he’s a good guy— she starts getting this idea in her head that joel is mistreating you. after the first incident of her seeing your bruised wrists and asking what happened only for you to quickly brush it off, maria starts watching you more and more, gathering “evidence” so she can bring it up to tommy. when she does bring it up to her husband he immediately denies it claiming that joel would never put his hands on you. after that maria doesn’t bring it up again seeing as it made tommy so upset but she does keep watching you.
after it’s been mentioned though, tommy can’t seem to stop seeing all the signs maria pointed out to him. the bruises and sometimes even limping. he never brings it up to his older brother though, still pretty much in denial about the whole situation.
somehow word spreads around jackson and it becomes a pretty well known rumor. maybe even ellie starts to question if it’s true after hearing the other teenagers gossip about it, after all she doesn’t stay in the same house as you and her growing distance to joel after all the cure business has her wondering if she even really knows him.
joel doesn’t care to address the topic, not bothered by what people think of him. he knows the truth, why should anything else matter? it does really bother you though, hating that people see you as a damsel in distress and joel as a monster. it comes to a point when she starts hearing whispers that the townspeople want to kick him out of jackson to ‘save’ you.
so one night when out drinking at the tipsy bison you notice that the place is unusually packed with people. an idea comes into your head. joel is having a conversation another patron about patrol routs or some boring shit, when you stroll right on up to him and straddle his lap. joel is a bit taken aback because you two are never very affectionate in public but he just assumes its the alcohol making you bolder. that’s until you start kissing his neck and bring his big hand to close around your throat. basically just being an absolute slut for him in front of everyone etc etc etc… make it as filthy as you want. make everyone in jackson know that the only reason you’re limping with bruises around your neck is because you’re having filthy depraved CONSENSUAL sex with your boyfriend/husband.
guys
like please
#change anything you want just keep the premise#i will eat it tf up😛#i’m begging#i’m on my knees begging#fanfic writers i beg of you#did i ramble too much??#is this idea post entirely too long????#joel miller#joel miller imagine#joel miller x reader#joel miller x y/n#joel miller fanfiction#allie shut up#joel blurb
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EVERY REASON (that i can think of) AS TO WHY TURBO/KING CANDY IS NEURODIVERGENT 💥💥
i would like to make a disclaimer first and foremost about the obvious, being that Turbo/King Candy is heavily implied to have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). Very often, characters with these disorders are portrayed as villains, and Turbo is no exception to this. There's nothing wrong with antagonistic characters having said disorders, per se, but when the only representation available for people with these conditions are found in characters you're not supposed to root for, it can be really disheartening. i won't be erasing these parts of him because i feel it would be in poor taste to gloss over those core elements of who he is, but plz keep in mind that having any kind of personality disorder doesn't make anyone inherently evil!!!🌞 your ACTIONS make you, not your brain
Also if anyone has any suggestions or other ideas for his neurodiversity, i would love to hear them! please do share!! I LOVE PSYCHOANALYZING CHARACTERS AND HEARING OTHER PEOPLE PSYCHOANALYZE THEM !!!! YAY🎉 if u agree or disagree with any of my points I'd love to discuss them further :-]
without further ado... click read more to find out…😈 be ready for a lot of reaches
💥 ADHD 💥
STIMMING
Turbo's constantly moving around in some way; he's a very expressive character! even as King Candy, he can't seem to conceal his frequent giggling. it's a big habit of his; he seems to do it involuntarily to regulate himself, including when he's nervous or uncomfortable.
he seems to display other repetitive behaviors as well, like doing his iconic thumbs-up pose, sticking out his tongue, or hopping around gleefully. he is but a jovial court jester..
i personally like to think that his phrases, "Turbo-tastic!" and "Have some candy!" are vocal stims of his, although i equally really love the interpretation that these (and the aforementioned stims) are tics :-]
another headcanon; i think it would make a lot of sense for him to have an oral fixation of some sort (ignoring the whole sigmund freud part of the term ermm...); just lots of biting, chewing, needing to have something in his mouth. It would align with the whole idea that he smokes, too
HYPERACTIVITY
we can clearly see throughout the film that Turbo has a lot of energy, made abundantly clear by his mannerisms and general behavior. he's constantly moving, using exaggerated expressions and gestures to communicate + express himself. He's one of the most animated and bouncy characters in the movie, next to Vanellope! it's silly how a character not very grounded in reality is such a threat, but i suppose that's what makes him so threatening in the first place...
another factor in this is how he is very adrenaline-seeking, craving activities that give him a rush (sugar rush...😂😂). more on that in a bit!!
HYPERFIXATION
Turbo's fixation with winning is all-consuming for him; it's an obsession. he doesn't appear to care about much else, if anything besides it. this could be interpreted as a hyperfixation for him (or special interest if ur all about that autism lifestyle), as it overtakes all of his focus and impedes every process of his mind.
it's clear that racing is much more than a passion for him, and while that fact is due to how he was programmed, it's a major character trait of his regardless that could be correlated to neurodivergence.
HYPERFOCUS
There seems to be a big theme of "all or nothing" when it comes to Turbo. he will either be fully dedicated to something or brush it aside without a second thought. it can't be denied that he fully wraps himself up in what he wants, whether it's a conflict he can't let go of or a new pursuit he's hungrily chasing after.
ultimately, his dedication varies depending on if it is relevant to him and his interests or not, but this aspect of him still shares patterns with neurodivergent thought processes.
INSTANT GRATIFICATION
Seeing as he has a tendency to cheat in his use of code to spawn in whatever his heart desires, it can be assumed that this could do with Turbo wanting instant gratification to fill that bitter, empty void inside of him. while this could simply be brushed aside as greed and his belief that he is obligated to have access to whatever he wants, this trait is consistent with his generally dopamine-seeking behavior and wanting to be instantly rewarded by his actions. His obsession with needing to feel good directly relates to his need for another buzz, constantly after the next rush. (a sugar rush if you will☺☺☺)
ADRENALINE-SEEKING
Closely related to the previous speculation, Turbo always seems to be chasing his next high. he loves the thrill of action and being surrounded by crowds of people below him. it's why his big thing is racing! people cheer him on, he can do whatever he wants, he can go really fast and look cool..
it's possible that a big aspect of why he does this is to distract himself from any kind of pain, because pain = vulnerability. bro does NOT know how to independently cope with his own problems.. HE MAD AS HELLLLL!!! 😂😂
STRUGGLE WITH SELF CARE
(i know this is reaching but bear with me... 🐻) going off of his appearance and tendency to make poor decisions, it can be gathered that this man lacks skill in the self care department. his yellowing teeth and sunken eyes not only serve to complement his design, but also give way to the idea that he neglects himself in favor for whatever weird scheme he's up to.
of course, Turbo does prioritize himself above everyone else, but he doesn't strike me as the type to care much about how others think he smells. him being a bother to anyone isn't a concern of his. he cares about whatever gets him the most praise and attention from as many people as possible, which is winning and racing. Who cares about how clean he is when he's up on a podium holding a shiny, golden trophy, anyway?
It's likely that he had to step his game up when he went under disguise as king candy, which is why he looks well-groomed in comparison to his more corpse-like appearance. Ugly hoe. it can also be assumed that he's had more time to focus on himself because everyone loves him without question... Well, except for Vanellope, but who cares about her, right?
also, i know he makes a condescending comment to Ralph about how bad his breath smells, but it's made abundantly clear that Turbo is a massive hypocrite. his comment doesn't erase the possibility that he has suffered from such "halitosis" as well.
💥 ANXIETY 💥
GENERAL ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR
i know, i know, this could technically be chalked up to be "Turbo is nervously giggling and shit because he's scared of getting caught," but guys. g
even in the flashback scene, we can see how easily stressed he can become in an alarmingly short period of time. he is extremely insecure, therefore i am led to believe he is not only emotionally dysregulated, but also by extension, anxiety ridden.
yes, this is purely speculative, but who's to say that he wasn't like this before? being high-strung and intense are significant facets of his personality consistently portrayed throughout the film. as long as he is getting exactly what he wants, he is happy; the moment he loses even a blip of control, however, he immediately grows extremely tense.
if Turbo wasn't anxious about his disguise as King Candy before, he was anxious about how much attention he was receiving on a given day. if not that, then he'd be anxious over how he presents himself. He hates how he can't control how other people perceive him, which is why he is constantly trying to act like he's better than he is.
its why he justifies his behavior to himself, proudly making others refer to him as the "rightful ruler" of sugar rush and relishing in the attention of his countless underlings. Any secure and stable person would NOT ACT LIKE THIS!!!!😭😭😭
FIGHT OR FLIGHT
As we can see a handful of times on screen, Turbo's instinct to protect himself is very easily activated.
his fear manifests in anger and aggression. we can see at multiple points how easy it is to upset him or fluster him; his anger is one side of the same coin, the opposite end being his fear and paranoia.
Going off of this point, have you noticed that Turbo is either satisfied or furious without much of an in-between? how the second something isn't under his manipulation, he lashes out and fights back? I'm led to believe that this is how he responds to fear (AAUAAYAUUUUGGHHH 🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡🐡). This guy is so against the idea of being vulnerable, that even when afraid, he will utilize violence to regain his dominance over the situation at hand.
CONTROL + PARANOIA
Turbo's always trying to writhe or fight his way out of uncomfortable situations, unable to exist outside of his comfort zone for seconds at a time.
his defensive, paranoid, and controlling behavior are all reflections of how deeply insecure this man is. He feels such an intense need for everything to go exactly how he expects it to go that the moment he senses any kind of threat, he instantly jumps to defend himself and what he feels that he has "earned," regardless of whether there truly is a threat or not.
this could potentially be a coping mechanism for his anxiety and sense of stability; can't forget to mention how territorial he is!! he jumps to conclusions about what others' intentions are before they even get a chance to reply, as seen with his first encounter with Ralph in the movie.
the racer is so internally discombobulated that he seeks any sense of stability on his environment, including on those around him. his sense of self is so warped that he copes with constant distraction; being under the spotlight, being actively racing, having to be showered with attention, having others make him feel good because he doesn't know how to do it for himself. he needs to feel like everything is under control, lest everything falls apart.
"...if there's ONE thing I can't abide, it's ANYTHING out of order!"
💥 NPD 💥
INFLATED SENSE OF SELF IMPORTANCE
Turbo's most in-your-face trait above all else. It's made more than crystal clear in every scene he's in that his arrogance is a determining factor in how he interacts with others. This is exactly what drives him to desperately crave admiration, to chase after others he's envious of because he thinks he is obligated to take what they have.
he seems to genuinely think he is entitled to get whatever he wants, just because he is inherently "special" or "better" than everyone else. Why else would he have made himself a king, a step above princess?
EXCESSIVE NEED FOR ADMIRATION
Turbo's self worth is COMPLETELY dependent on the opinions of children and teenagers. I think i don't need to say any more than that, but i will. (Evil).
As cartoonishly massive as his ego is, i think that it's fair to assume that Turbo has a very unstable sense of self, distorting his perception of his own worth down with it. his near-constant flaunting and need to be the best is a dead giveaway to his deeply-ridden self-doubt. The foundation of his stability is built around how "good" he is (at racing and winning), how powerful he is, whether or not he is being prioritized above everyone else, whether or not he is the absolute best, etc. etc.
The racer outright manipulates others to shower him with admiration and undeserved appreciation. He is incapable of forming a true sense of internal value, instead heavily and codependently relying on others to form it for him. if he isn't the best, he may as well just be nothing.
INTENSE JEALOUSY
He reacts so severely to what he perceives as others taking away what is rightfully his that it only goes to solidify my previous points even further. the second someone else is getting more attention than him, Turbo will bend over backwards to rip back the praise he believes he so rightly deserves.
being extremely competitive, he will one-up against anyone he thinks of as a threat, dedicating himself to taking them down to the best of his ability, and making sure they STAY down to top it all off.
INABILITY TO HANDLE CRITICISM
if we really dissect the entire one-off joke with Turbo insisting that his stolen pink castle is actually "salmon," along with all of his other domineering behaviors, we can garner that he is very persistent in how he wants others to view him. i wholeheartedly believe that this would translate into him not only being defensive over his supposed "ownership" of Sugar Rush, but also over himself and his own insecurities.
He needs to feel good about himself or else he will die and quite literally try to kill everyone.
LACK OF EMPATHY
He appears to have a fondness for making jokes in very poor taste. Turbo has a big sense of humor, but it's always at the expense of others. Be it a pun about a "fungeon," or jumping to protect himself with a joke about "hitting a guy with glasses," he has a tendency to take serious situations very lightly. It's not that he's unaware of the weight of it; he simply doesn't take it Seriously.
its admittedly impressive how he was able to feign empathy so well for Ralph; it goes to show how he is very capable of understanding that what he's doing is wrong, but ultimately does nothing to change his behavior because it doesn't impact him personally.
i would like to honor this part of him, because even in the possible alternate path of a redemption arc, his struggle with empathy can be explored in a variety of interesting ways :-] he can understand complicated emotions and situations on an analytical level, but he doesn't feel for them unless it has to do with him specifically. (this obviously doesn't make him inherently evil, his ACTIONS make him evil)
💥 ASPD 💥
LACK OF REMORSE/GUILT
One of Turbo's core characteristics is just how far he is willing to go for his own self-interest with lack of regard for how it impacts everyone else. he has absolutely no concern for how anyone else feels besides himself, willing to go so far as to attempt to mutilate a 9-year-old to achieve his petty goals.
Turbo is shameless when it comes to how he goes about getting his way. While I'd like to believe he isn't fully incapable of feeling regret, he doesn't showcase feeling it in the movie itself. The most regret he'll feel is when he slips up and exposes himself. anything else is the fault of everyone else; he is untouchable in his eyes.
DECEITFUL TENDENCIES + LYING
Where do i even start with this one.
well, first of all, let's acknowledge the... erm, horse? in the room? 🐎😅(Please someone help me there is a horse in my room help helphel) being that Turbo went under disguise as King Candy for at least a decade. Even before this, there's a good chance that he's already had plenty of experience with lies and manipulation. i'd be willing to bet on this!!
one of his specialties is being proficient in manipulation, be it the code of games or the minds of people. theyre basically the same thing to him, anyway... I'm sure you all know the scene where he uses 16 manipulation tactics against Ralph and wins. this was Obviously not the first time he'd done this.
REPETITION OF HARMFUL BEHAVIORS
Time and time again, Turbo can't seem to help himself when it comes to poor decision-making. he never internalizes that his bad choices aren't JUST bad for others, but also for himself, continuing to escalate further and further into very dangerous behaviors until he literally dies.
Here's a list of bad decisions he has made! (at least, that we know of)
Pinning himself above his peers
Harassment + stalking
Carelessly charging through GCS with his car, endangering countless civilians
Attempting to take over a game that isn't his x2
Vehicular manslaughter
Implied mass murder + attempted murder, attempted mutilation
Mass endangerment
Breaking and entering, theft, usurpation, plagiarism
and more!!!!!!!
AND HE LEARNS FROM ABSOLUTELY NONE OF THIS!!! with some of the items listed here, he's attempted to do multiple times! Absolute buffoon.
RECKLESS DISREGARD FOR SAFETY OF SELF AND OTHERS
Considering how he was willing to charge into a game that wasn't his own with the awareness that it could permanently kill him, going as far as to recklessly crash into another car (albeit it's possible this was unintentional), it's easy to gather that he doesn't seem to consider anyone's safety at all in the spur of the moment.
IMPULSITIVITY
his impulsivity and disregard for safety both go hand-in-hand. When it gets to a certain point, Turbo's emotions will boil over and blow up in a cold rage, thus causing him to spiral and act on impulse, becoming a detrimental force to himself as well as everyone around him.
What's interesting is how much restraint he is capable of; he typically is very strategic in how he orchestrates his plans! but once he reaches his breaking point, he snaps and leaves all of his hard work behind in favor of something that calls for his immediate attention.
💥 ETC. 💥
extra tidbits i didnt have enough energy to fully delve into :-]
BPD
Fear of abandonment
Blurry sense of identity
Feelings of emptiness
Self destructive tendencies
Emotional instability
Explosive anger
ODD (oppositional defiant disorder)
He seems so infatuated with his own autonomy that he gets to the point of being resistant and defiant
Resisting against the rules of the world that he directly caused as a result of his own actions, being that one shouldn't "go Turbo."
Enjoys upsetting/getting a rise out of others. this is more speculative as i am going off of the assumption that he thinks pissing people off is funny, based on his other behavioral patterns. (cruel sense of humor, wanting to feel above others via control & manipulation, enjoyment of inflicting pain onto others)
Forcefully defends himself and refuses any kind of criticism
Lashes out when he feels slighted
Excessive persistence despite all odds, whether it's beneficial to him or not
ok bye!! thank you if you managed to read this far ^^ peace and love take care of yourself! all in all turbo is so neurodivergent ok please Okay <3 get this thing his meds
#flashing lights#<- ??#eyestrain#smoking mention#obligatory i don't support disney ⚠️#ITS FINALLY DONE OHHHH DEAR GOARD!!!!! I DID IT#i am COOKING SO hard#I HATE TURBO.#you have no idea what kinds of agony i had to undergo to make this post. i went thru more than the average veteran#accidentally posted this entire thing THREEEE TIIIIMES before it was finished and lost the drafts in the process. we persevere....#the people need to know about why turbo is neurodivergent(IMPORTATNT!!!)!!!!(!!!!!!!)#yeah yeah he did a lot of bad things but turbo is neurodivergent it wasnt his fault! its ok guys!#watch me kin him and ship myself with him at the same time#long post#character analysis#turbo#turbo wir#turbo wreck it ralph#king candy#king candy wir#king candy wreck it ralph#im melting him with a magnifying glass on the concrete until he is but a small grimy stain#Gyys start licking...... we can still save him#Hes a chew toy to me. Or stress toy.#Sorry ok ok ill stop rambling he just makes me sillayy🤪#ok i lied. whenever i think about him too hard i start shaking#churning him into a thick paste to spread onto a sandwich of sorts. tastes like old gummy sweets & diesel fuel with a hint of cigarette ash#i love being long winded and going on and on and on about stupid little assholes liek this guy#the countless essays i have written about him. u have no idea#wreck it ralph
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I actually love glass onion being set deep in covid times but where's the post that was like . Glass Onion should have ended with benoit blanc getting home and testing positive for covid . I really think that would've tied the whole thing together
#glass onion#fr coulda been a post credits scene! u don't want to disrupt the power of the final scene tho i guess#do u think the stuff ethan hawke shot in their mouths was a spurious miles bron vaccine or just like. ivermectin#anyway . I have seen this post thsi is not an original idea. where is it.#please can more media reference covid it's gonna be TOO ! WEIRD! if our popular culture just flat out ignores this major thing#that disrupted THEE entire world for so long.#saw someone be like 'covid happened two years ago why are people still talking about it' uh !#anyway . glass onion handshake emoji the borat sequel . for having covid in it#they fully all got covid that weekend. this is my belief
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Finally making that trans wolverine post I keep bringing up, Mild suggestive nudity and gore under the cut.
Notice in the above image Logan has been shaved. This is the adamantium bonding scene that shows up in the live action movies. The specifics of this scene vary but this panel is from one of its earliest depictions.
Same comic, his hair has grown back (and claws but that’s irrelevant) think about that. Why would dead cells regenerate?
Why back to the exact tufted style and sideburns they were before, and continue to be. Skin and flesh heals, but hair is superficial.
Unless his healing factor is connected to a deeper sense of self image. The tufted hair and sideburns are inherent to wolverine’s identity, a physical identity that could’ve conceivably shifted over time.
2nd point, X-23 wolverine’s clone
Laura is the 23rd attempt in a series of cloning attempts, and the first to work. The sample used had damaged Y genes, and so the 22 attempted clones before her were all XX and failed. All of Laura’s fellow successful clones are female.
My main argument is Wolverine being Trans could work. It could be an interesting addition to the character, and help explain why his hair grows back and why his clones aren’t male. He has famously unreliable memory so it would be fairly easy to explain why it hasn’t come up before. Mutations usually express in a characters teens, but can younger if the story calls for it. This is a bit of a nothing retcon and wouldn’t really change anything. I genuinely think Logan would immediately shrug and move on from a reveal like this, but it could add complexity to the story if not the character himself.
#trans wolverine#x-men#Took me way too long to find those panels and then I didn’t even need them :(#Too much effort for a post targeting 1 and 1/2 people#But yeah trans masc Wolverine#It could also be interesting seeing a story from one of his clone’s perspectives#Going thru some kind of shifting identity and exploring this idea more#The healing factor identity thing is technically cannon in that you can’t convince me otherwise and in the same respect#So is this entire argument it’s not NOT canon
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Part 1 - Appreciation post for all the TFP universe Autobot mugshot cameos (known and unknown) in RID2015 3x25 (even if the context is that they've been OUSTED against their will)
#transformers rid2015#not me and my emotional crutch show comforting my broken soul after rewatching TFP for the nth time#every cameo and reference is another good hit of the Good Stuff#look at how g1 they all got i'm sobbing#smokey got so BUFF#sunstreaker confirmed canon!#boy do i have an angsty fic idea that explains sideswipes abandonment trauma#please tell me what ironhide was like i need to know#they included seaspray??? but he's dead jim#ultra magnus be snatched as ever#tfp universe wouldnt do mirage dirty like ROTB did#KNOCKOUT NOOOOO#is that sandstorm? I cannot tell because the resolution is GARBAGE#prowl look like he got big tiddies in this universe too <3#jetfire my g1 husband what happened to you#trailbreaker??? forever a highly functional alcoholic idc what you say#TRACKS MY REBEL SON#oh NO not the RESCUE BOTS they have done no wrong!!!#powerglide??? he ought to have been in there for as many times as the cons quoted him in this series#gears and.... is that moonracer???? I can only infer by color#BLASTERRRRR oh what I wouldn't give for a blaster/soundwave throwdown#oh this is sandstorm for SURE (then who's the other guy???) and my man KUP#oh no look how good looking they made roddy </3#ELITA AAAAA#wreckgar??? my trash son???#long post#maccadams#please bear with my internal dialogue#is that 6th one supposed to be tailgate??? wasn't him being dead like an ENTIRE plot point for all of TFP lol
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"Louis acting like a pimp to Armand" And what is a pimp exactly? Quickly. And, oh so sexual trauma survivors can't engage in kink now without it being all about that? Pet names? They can't be submissive anymore? Consensually? Sexually healthy? Be serious. I'd hardly say there's much power difference between them during all this anyway, except that Louis is freer than Armand and it's been putting a strain on their relationship. Louis wants more from Armand, and less of this 'being his past' for them both, and so helping Armand with this could fix that. It's healthy to want to help your partners get out of a rough patch?
I mean, the whole exchange was very clearly set up as a "I want to help you" after such a great moment of vulnerability Louis feels just how much Armand is desperate for it. Louis called Armand so they could work out a plan together.
And the bit with the umbrella was Louis' way of asking 'are you willing to listen to me?' and Armand said yes by unfolding it. Louis goes on and explains, Armand is allowed to argue against it, but Louis makes his point. And then he gives Armand a way to make his own choice in it too. Armand's already decided 'I want you, more than anything else in the world', but Louis still asks after if he's sure of his choice, and with a name, Arun, that is the one of his fullest agency, running the point home. Honoring the situation Armand calls Louis Maitre - as a way of being like 'I'll do as you've said then'. To make this work he's going to have to give Louis some of the control, yes. But it's the first time such a role is ever established, and it was his choice to do it. So so what if they do it in a very suggestive way? They can't like doing that? I think it's them having fun.
I struggle to find how Louis is being overly domineering here when really he's giving and offering Armand the most agency he's ever had. Same with finding it manipulative. The manipulation was more earlier in the episode I think, when he was stringing him along, giving mixed signals. He's no longer toying with him like that. Louis might be pushing Armand, leading him on to make a decision, but he doesn't mean bad by it.
But back to this pimp thing. I find it frankly offensive that this is where people are going with this. I get it, but to run with it being the case is, on many levels, wrong.
Louis told us episode 1 this was the only sustainable line of work to support his family and keep their standing, at the time. It was never his choice to be doing this either but his blackness allowed no other options. He did what he did so his family could stay in that house and maintain all their same comforts. It gave him privileges most black men didn't have at the time that he wanted to maintain and even have more of. Anyway, it doesn't and had never defined him the way 'being good at running things' had. And in that case he just likes having that kind of control where he can get it, which makes sense.
The world is what placed that kind of role onto him of what he was allowed to be able to run, not himself. And on that he actually treated the sex workers he employed well and respected them enough to give them more opportunity.** He recognizes they don't have much in the way of options either.
Louis employed sex workers, yes, but he didn't subject them to abuse, (like how Armand was)*. He didn't oversee things in a way that would go against their consent (see; episode 1 again)**. Sometimes a job is just a job. And Sex work is work.
Armand's particular past with sexual abuses may strike a particular cord with Louis, given all that, but the very last thing either is thinking is that Louis' pimping Armand out here. This is merely their decision as companions, and had nothing to do with adding another line in a laundry list of selling Armands body out to people at the command of someone else. Armand rescinds some of his control to Louis' wishes, because he wants him, and he trusts him, that's all.
If you aren't allowing Armand that choice, and are doubtful it's fully his, you're putting him right back in the box of being defined by his abuses. Putting him back into that space where he isn't given any agency over what he does. (Which is exactly opposite of what the intent of this scene is for)*.
*: (edit) added for clarity.
**: (strike through) numerous people are saying I'm misremembering these points so disregard it. (Thought he was siding with Bricks, it was the other way around). (Technically one aspect of those opportunities were for getting around the law). I don't have a perfect memory, it happens. Let's not get mad about it. Doesn't change much of the point which is that Louis, now, Louis then, was always considering more about the running things and for stated purposes. So I guess I'd say he may only have respected the SWers enough sometimes for what allowed him to do that, and there are moments he certainly expressed remorse over the fact, but he has a great deal higher respect for Armand that is genuine. It's incomparable. Please read my added notes in the tags, it should address most other concerns.
#amc iwtv#iwtv spoilers#iwtv season 2#Loumand#louis du pointe du lac#armand#interview with the vampire#IWTV#Many people are ranting about this but I'm throwing my hat in too#signed someone who went through csa and is close friends with many swers#long rant#noticing spelling errors in this after posting ffff#added note: I'm not saying armand and louis dynamic is without it's flaws or that louis was somehow without his exploitation and faults#while he was a pimp#as a pimp though he certainly wasn't going about it in the same way as what had happened in the brothel or with marius#I more so say that their very actions are of a healthier dynamic than that this is true even if they themselves are not exactly so#all for nuanced and messed up relationships that run everywhere in this show#But I still don't see it as that specific dynamic I wouldn't call it that there's just an amount of that dominence at play#neither want to be tethered to the roles they've been playing previously and they aren't entirely different for it but#are still arriving to this idea of needing something new to define themselves by and something they both want#they're exploring with this companionship that they're still trying to get a feel for#we as an audience might know they never do fully work their shit out and so are doomed but they don't at that point#last thing I guess is that I am not here to start shit it's fictional and not that serious 4 me 2 care enough 2 go after any1#not individually no#These are just my thoughts#I heavily caution using this idea of it being like the pimp 'jumped out' or whatever for reasons above#and its racist implications as others have said more bluntly (I've implied it)
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I've just come across a tiktok of a person (who has 90k+ followers and is pretty well-known in lefttok for having well-articulated, intelligent takes, by the way) copying almost word for word that post by weaver-z (with an addition by roach-works) explaining how Divergent destroyed YA dystopian literature, and claiming those to be their own thoughts.
An honestly hysterical thing to happen just two days after HBomberguy dropped his video on plagiarism — in which he theorises that those who steal somebody else's work do it because, aside from their lack of creativity clashing with their desire for money and clout, they think the author so below them that they don't deserve the dignity of being credited and nobody would even catch the plagiarism.
We know this is common but fucking Christ. Finding such a blatant example in the wild during this time is such an experience.
#should I ask them in a comment if they have a tumblr? lmao#the post came across my dash again not too long ago so it was fresh in my mind#at first I thought they were only using similar points#(which is fair. several people can reach the same conclusion or they might have read the post and forgot where they got those ideas)#but then they described the love interest as 'he is handsome. he is brooding. he doesn't need to be anything else'#and I was like oh COME ON that wording is way too familiar#so I went to find the post to check and the ENTIRE vid is just copying weaver-z and roach-works#my original post#hbomberguy
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leaning in for a peck on the lips and telling your windbreaker darling they're so sweet they give you toothaches... only to be hit by a real toothache hours later
#i think umemiya would be worried bc you overexaggerate the pain with theatrics + same for tsubaki.#hiragi more worried and concerned than you are...panic all around and asking around for a someone's relative dentist to go to quickly#togame and suo just tease you back... you are suffering the consequences of the hell you had crafted (they'll bring a painkiller later they#cannot bare to see you hurt and wringling in pain when it goes for too long. kiryu on the same list but his resolve not as strong as them)#sakura and nieri have no idea what the fuck theyre supposed to do.... nieri acts a bit faster and contacts someone for help probably but +#poor sakura issoooo clueless he is like a deer in headlights.#choji probs: dgaf mode. didnt think you were that serious. has the GUTS to ask you to have some ice cream with him and youre just:+#bffr rn im SUFFERING. (he'll probs ask kame-chan for help later on when your pouty state goes on for too long...)#kaji also in more of a dgaf mode but taking it chill and easy. tells you once (a little harshly) to cut it and calm down. then makes some +#calls (ie: gets one of his advisors to set up a dentists appointment.) then shoves a bottle of water and a painkiller into your hands and a#little ruffle of your hair maybe... there's no way he is inexperienced in this department with his trackrecord of candies... he WILL+#scold you the entire way to the dentist's tho about your eating habits and whatnot and see? this is divine punishment for that awful joke +#you dared make the other day...#SORYR IM UNSURE HOW WELL I NAILED THESE SO I WROT THESE IN THE TAGS I CAN MAKE IT AN ACTUAL POST. my teeth hurt.. T-T#wind breaker#wind breaker x reader
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Mario x Mermaid AU
Takes a little bit of inspiration from The Little Mermaid. Contains some Mareach and (platonic) brotherly love.
PREMISE
🐚 Mario and Luigi are merman who live in the seas of the Mushroom Kingdom. Their father, Pio, the strongest and most magic equipped of their family, has always forbid the brothers from going to the surface.
🐚 "The beings above have their own concerns. And neither do they care for ours. Our worlds are not meant to co-exist."
🐚 But Mario especially has always had an interest in the surface, and along with his brother Luigi, loves to explore old shipwrecks, collect objects from the surface that they have no idea what they are but they are cool, and playing in the various small coves on the beaches of the Mushroom Kingdom.
🐚 One day while having one of these bonding moments, the brothers notice a ship coming in, and swim up closer to investigate. Luigi is hesitant to go any further, but Mario is curious about the celebration on board. It turns out it's a birthday party for the Mushroom Kingdom's princess, Peach.
🐚 The moment Mario sees her, he's instantly entranced by her. She's the most beautiful being he has ever seen. And her voice is almost like a siren call.
🐚 Mario dares to get closer, and happens to eavesdrop on a conversation between Peach and her supervisor, Toadsworth. Peach is quite worried as a threat from the sea, the sea monster Bowser, is starting to show itself, and Peach is certain this monster wants to claim her kingdom.
🐚 Suddenly the party is interrupted by the arrival of a thunder storm. It proves to be stronger than the surface dwellers realise, and very soon the ship is overpowered and is forced to retreat.
🐚 In the chaos, Peach tries to rescue a toad subject who is about to fall in, but is thrown overboard herself. Without even thinking, Mario dives after her, with Luigi yelling after him. He pulls her unconscious body up to the surface, and swims with all the strength he has to get her to safety.
🐚 Mario manages to get the princess to a nearby beach, and stays with her until the storm subsides. During this time, he notes about how kind she was to put her subjects before herself, reflected so much in her beauty that he can't seem to draw his eyes away from...
🐚 Soon after Luigi shows up (after an almost panic induced meltdown for his brother!).
🐚 "She's so beautiful, Luigi...", Mario whispers, his eyes not leaving Peach. Luigi looks at his brother. He knows that look his older brother has. And he's both happy, and worried for him.
🐚 Just as Peach begins to wake up, the brothers hear the cries of her subjects looking for her, and quickly dive back into the sea before they are spotted.
🐚 "Princess!", Toadsworth pants, nearly beside himself. "Are you right?!"
🐚 "Oh Toadsworth...", says Peach. "A man...rescued me. He was so kind to me..."
🐚 Toadsworth and her subjects take her away to be tended to, and meanwhile Mario is on cloud nine. He drifts through the sea in a goofy daze, and Luigi smirks as he takes in the look on his brother's face.
🐚 "You're in love with her 😏", he says. Mario blushes and tells him that he's wrong!
🐚 Returning to their home, the brothers arrive to find everyone in a state of panic. The sea monster Bowser has been seen nearby, and appears to be making its way to the surface.
🐚 Mario's heart freezes, for he realises that Bowser is heading to the Mushroom Kingdom - just like Peach said!
🐚 He tells his father that they needs to go up to the surface and save them. Pio refuses, not wanting his family, and especially his sons, to get involved. But then he realises...
🐚 "There is another...", Pio says, voice shaking.
🐚 "You cannot be with them", Pio says firmly before Mario can speak. "There is nothing we can do. And don't you dare bring your brother with you. You've dragged him into this obsession long enough! Don't you dare hurt him any more!"
🐚 Mario is hurt, and flees from the room before anyone can see his tears. Luigi follows, and finds Mario frustrated and broken over what to do. He wants to help so bad, but like his father said, he can't risk putting anyone on danger, especially his brother.
🐚 After everyone is asleep, Mario sneaks out to think things over, and runs into a sea witch called Kammy.
🐚 "You want to save those on the surface, right?", asks Kammy. "I can help you with that."
🐚 Mario is not foolish, but he is desperate to help Peach and the Mushroom Kingdom in any way he can. He follows Kammy to her cave, and she proposes a plan: If Mario can give up a part of himself, then she will turn him into a human so he can walk on the surface and meet Peach.
🐚 Thus, Mario makes a brash decision to try and save the Mushroom Kingdom, and the seas...
#and that's it for now#I was planning to write out a draft up of the entire plot#but the post got too long and I wanted to keep it relatively short and sweet#I have more ideas for this#including the ending which imo is wholesome and soft ;_;#feel free to go into my inbox if you have questions on this au#super mario#mario#luigi#mario movie#the super mario bros movie#super mario movie#mario and luigi#mermaids#the little mermaid#princess peach#mareach#mario x peach#mario au#super mario au#mermaid au
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Kiryuu Touga and the cyclical narrative
TW : Discussions of misogyny, emotional manipulation and abuse, sexual abuse and (sexual) child abuse. (Very vague) mention of incest.
First of all, not really as a disclaimer but more as a recommendation, a lot of my thoughts about Touga are shaped by this essay, which is definitely easily one of my favorite pieces of Utena meta. I think I'm going to implicitly or more explicitly reference it sometimes, but you don't need to read it to understand this post.
I have a complex relationship with Touga. He is despicable, yet the more I watch the series, the more I find myself... fascinated by him. This post is a pretty much a synthesis of all these thoughts.
On a purely narrative level, Touga's role is a bit special. He's the antagonist of the first arc. The three duels involving him are all turning points in the series. He's a core character in the development of several other characters (Saionji, Nanami, Utena and Miki on a different level).
Yet, turns out he's only a puppet, just as everyone else is. How surprising. And when it comes down to it, what do we know about Touga ?
He's the Student Council's president. He seemingly can't have a relationship with anyone without manipulating them to his advantage. He sleeps with any girl (and maybe not only girls) who breathe around him in a 1 ft radius. His way of coping with depression is to seal himself in a wide and totally empty room to listen to his own voice on repeat to ponder heavily on his broken hopes and ideals. (Hmm. Hardcore.)
And more importantly, he wants power. A power that would be absolute. But why so ?
And this is the point where it gets complicated.
Touga is barely the main topic of episodes focused on him. He is the center of many obsessions and interests, but it seems we never touch upon him as a person. He can be seen being vaguely vulnerable in eps 11 and 12 and then there's the whole Black Rose arc thing. But where does all this mess steam from ?
Victim status
Eps 35 and 36 are the one going deeper into Touga’s character and yet... we’re barely sure of what’s actually going on in his brain. These episodes always give me a weird feeling because we don’t really get to see Touga express his feelings very clearly or freely... We barely get to hear his thoughts.
Just like Anthy.
Don’t make me say what I didn’t say, though. Touga gets to have way more agency than ever does Anthy, and he certainly doesn't endure the same dehumanization as she does. Anthy does have agency in a way. But she expresses it in hidden, implicit ways : playing tricks, hitting people in their sore spots, sarcasm, empty eyes and fake smiles. She’s manipulative and Touga is, too. These two share many similarities, though they can’t completely blend with each other, of course.
We don’t know much about Touga’s childhood. We know he and Nanami were adopted (or “sold”) to the Kiryuu family at a young age. That’s basically it in the canon of the series. Though, Touga’s backstory in the movie, showing him being sexually abused by his adoptive father, was apparently meant to be included in the series as well :
Although the TV series touched upon Touga’s younger days, the film goes into more details – the wound of Touga that was never directly depicted. In his younger days, Touga was a normal kid who enjoyed happy times with his friend Saionji Kyouichi and his younger sister Nanami. However, he came to know his unfortunate fate from the time he was ordered by his parents to wear his hair long. His parents sold him to the Kiryuu family. Although he was an adopted son on the surface, the instinctive Touga knew what that meant. And in order to protect his younger sister, he accepted his lot. Being sold. We did not go into depicting what Touga’s parents obtained by going as far as selling their son. We would like you to think of it as a kind of metaphor.
And Touga accepted in silence the sexual abuse from his new parents. His personality changed while he made a magnanimous show of enjoying the abuses in order to prevent his personality from splitting. The change took place in a spot so deep in his mind, that even those closest to him did not notice. Saionji and Nanami never noticed out of their innocence. And Touga never told his secret to anyone. It is said that a human being gains whatever he lost in exchange. So what did Touga gain in exchange at that point in time? It was the sense of alienation from being abused every night and seeing his innocent friend and sister during the day. The alienated self.
(Extract of a comment Enokido, one of the writers who worked on Utena, wrote about Touga’s role in the Utena movie.)
Of course, you could argue whether or not the sexual abuse is canon or not in the series. After all, the series and the movie don’t seem to take place in the same canon (even though it is hard to completely disconnect the two). Whatever you choose to believe, I personally think it all makes so much sense.
It makes sense regarding Touga’s general behavior in the series (but this is more touched upon in the essay I linked above) and it makes his goal and his narrative role much clearer.
Being sold like a mere object, knowing a much harsher truth about life Saionji and Nanami don’t know about, showing everyone a stronger facade in order to not completely lose your mind and keep protecting your friend and your sister from this reality and eventually... letting them know in a painfully gendered way, perpetuating everything this system has forced on you.
It has all become part of you.
Keeping the cycle of violence going became part of your blood and flesh. Making clear who is supposed to inflict pain and who is supposed to receive it. Who is supposed to protect and who is supposed to be protected. Who is supposed to act and who is supposed to wait.
And you ? No, you’re never supposed to hurt anymore. You want a way out of this. For you, the easiest way is to simply reclaim the place that was always prepared for you to take.
When Touga and Saionji found Utena in her coffin, it feels like Touga knew something Saionji didn’t. Saionji felt it too, but he wasn’t able to recognize what it was. After all, he was still a child. Touga knew about the same thing Utena learned with her parents’ death : they both had a glimpse of what the “adult world” (Akio’s world) actually looks like, shattering their juvenile knowledge of the world.
A world where people die. A world where the weak lose. A world where the prince should protect the princess.
Touga already had a coffin. Utena just found hers and was about to find a new one. Saionji was just finding his.
It all makes sense regarding how obedient Touga is to Akio and why he seeks his validation, his desire to go up in the hierarchy aside. It makes sense because he is “alienated”. Touga got deprived of everything, he knows the burden of being alive and he’s learned, from his early childhood, to be compliant.
He seems independent during the Student Council arc and a majority of the series, but eps 35 and 36 show he is not the mastermind of it all. He has a privileged position but unlike some other characters, Touga never uses his agency to try to break out of the system ─ he follows its rules and tries to reinforce his dominance.
Why would you break out from a system serving you so well ?
“I want to become like him. I want power like his.”
Touga is alienated to the system and his only goal is to become what it expects of him. After all, why wouldn’t he ? Being a prince is the best position offered by the system. Being a prince means acquiring an absolute power. With such power, one doesn’t die and is forever out of reach and harm and pain. Who wouldn’t want such a thing ?
The prince never saves the princess out of selflessness. He saves her because it gives him a reward in exchange. He saves her because it gives him power and control over her and ultimately, everyone else. And so, the princess becomes a "toy" wannabe princes has to win, to conquer.
Does Touga, even during what seems to be his most “sincere” moment in ep 36, ever wish to protect Utena for something else than possessing her ? When could have he learned to know and appreciate her as a person, rather than a princess ? A reward to conquer ?
When did he stop wishing he could’ve saved Utena just like Akio did ? I believe he might be genuine, yet he acts toward Utena exactly like she acts toward Anthy. He wants to save her for his own sake, regardless of her personal hopes and desires.
It’s truly sad, though. Because all of it is nothing but a childish dream. There was never once a prince in this world. Only boring and abusive adults.
“Are you really happy with that?”
Well, when it comes down to it, probably not. But was it ever about happiness ? Probably not either. The pursuit of power only ever leads to isolation, to a complete lack of meaning ─ after all, friendship is a fool’s thing. No one can reach what’s behind the facade.
Saionji was able to confront Touga with his own lies and paradoxes, get as close to his real self anyone probably could. But it wasn’t enough. Saionji himself didn’t go as far as leaving the system entirely, even when it seemed he had cracked it all. Touga sort of did, too.
As far as I’m concerned, we only heard his own, deep thoughts once.
“Kiryuu Touga, the playboy Student Council President... Is it? "Playboy" sounds old-fashioned.”
Touga weaponized himself. He weaponized his body (sex is only a tool to aim for power). He weaponized his heart (relationships only matter if you use them to your advantage. Those who believe in love and friendship are fools and will be ultimately be used to someone else’s advantage). And for what ?
I really like the symbolism of the poppy flower in ep 35. I feel like it symbolizes Akio’s power, in a way. I’m incredibly bad when it comes to the language of flowers (so everyone is free to correct me) but please bear with me. In the East, red poppy flowers apparently symbolize romantic love and success (what it probably means for the girl confessing to Touga, as well as Akio when he “eats” it in this scene, since Touga and him are talking about Utena) but it can also symbolize “luxurious pleasures and fantastic extravagance”. In the Japanese language of flowers, red poppies can also symbolize someone “fun-loving”. I feel like both of these work with Akio and I believe that for Touga, they are a symbol of luxury and extravagance.
Yet another girl confessed to him. Without even thinking about it, he kissed her. He will never read her confession letter, he probably didn’t even notice it. He will probably simply leave it on the floor, without a care. This pursuit of power isn’t even fulfilling to him, there’s absolutely no thought behind it. Only automatic actions, behaviors working in favor of someone else’s greater scheme. He won’t even get to actually possess Utena.
He will never get what he truly wants. Is there even anything that he truly wants ? Saionji, maybe. In the meantime, he’s just a tool for a system. A system made up by boring adults, based on lies, illusions and unachievable dreams.
Touga is condemned to go in cycles. He’s given everything to overcome what keeps him stuck and trapped, but it doesn’t do anything. He can only revolve around his own coffin, completing the same circle, again and again.
He doesn’t know how to do anything else.
It will never make anything he’s done forgivable. But at least, maybe one day, he’ll realize. Or maybe never.
We can always create new roads, leading to worlds completely unknown to us, where everything needs to be built. Anthy and Utena are here to show the way, who deserves to follow these new roads is only up to you.
On a purely personal standpoint... I was never really able to answer this question.
“No. It's not over until we see it through the very end.”
#this took an eternity (lol) to get done. welp.#i started this in *checks notes* february 2022#the original ramble post that gave birth to this post is way older than this#i felt like this was. too obvious or whatever. but i wanted to finish it for myself ig#posting mediocre meta in order to cope !#does this post make me a touga enjoyer ?? idk. i kinda hate him still#hate him so much i wrote an entire post about him. ahah. im a fool#ive just seen the 'it's because i'm a feminist' screenshot and i genuinely felt like deleting this entire post. he is a clown. i am CLOWN#at this point i should write meta about the movie someday. i should#this post is just a long explanation of the 'touga ; anthy and utena function as a triangle. the triforce of abuse if you will' idea#utena meta#shoujo kakumei utena#revolutionary girl utena#sku#rgu#touga kiryuu#kiryuu touga#d.txt
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I wish you can update for like twice a week 🛐. I'm always checking for new update hahaha.. anyways, take ur timeee 🫡🫡🙂↕️🙂↕️🙂↕️
Anon, I know you probably meant well, but this is not the time for something like this.
(Gif courtesy of @collinnmckinley )
#these chapters take a lot of work#they're long#they're detailed#writing takes a lot of work#i write every word out#i come up with the ideas myself#and on occasion i get ideas from others#but a lot of them are on my own#if i sat and wrote an entire chapter in one sitting#it would take an entire day#i am human#there is a human behind this blog#i have a life#i have my own things that i'm dealing with#i do this for free#i post for free#i write for free#it takes me several days to get through a chapter because it takes a lot of work#it takes a lot of brainpower that i dont always have#be fucking for real right now#i wish i could write two chapters a week too#but they wouldnt be good chapters if i did#they'd be half as long and poorly written#and i probably wouldnt even finish the fic because i'd burn out so fast#anon#i know you didn't mean this in a pushy or negative way#but read the room please#answered
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"The division between the two families [the Woodvilles and the Nevilles] and their allies can be seen in the royal charters that they witnessed. Warwick, Rivers and Archbishop Neville of York, while serving as chancellor and afterwards, were fairly constant witnesses to royal charters and consequently often appeared together. This was not, however, the case for other family members and friends. From 1466 to 1469, if Scales or Woodville associates like Sir John Fogge, John Lord Audley or Humphrey Lord Stafford of Southwick witnessed royal charters, then members of the Neville group, such as John Neville, earl of Northumberland, or John Lord Wenlock would not, and vice versa. Discounting the ubiquitous Warwick, Rivers and Archbishop Neville, of the twenty-four charters issued between February 1466 and June 1469, twelve were witnessed by men associated with the Woodvilles, eight by men associated with the Nevilles and two were witnessed by no member of either group beyond the two earls at their heads and the archbishop; only two charters, both from 1466, featured associates of both families.
Such striking segregation of witnesses suggests that something more than simple convenience or availability was at play. [...] The evidence of these witness lists does show the extent of the split between the two groups from early in Edward's [first] reign and of the need for political society to work with that cleavage in the heart of the Yorkist regime."
— Theron Westervelt, "Royal charter witness lists and the politics of the reign of Edward IV"
*This is specifically applicable for Edward IV's first reign; in contrast, the charters in his second reign displayed a great deal of aristocratic and domestic unity and cohesion.
#the woodvilles#edward iv#wars of the roses#richard neville 16th earl of warwick#my post#elizabeth woodville#Obviously I hate the idea of Elizabeth and her family being seen as a social-climbing invasive species who banished the old nobility and#drove Warwick/Richard into rebellion and dominated the government and controlled the king and were responsible for Everything Wrong Ever#but I also dislike the 'revisionist' idea that they were ACTUALLY just passive and powerless bystanders or pawns who kept to their#social “place” (whatever the fuck that means). Frankly speaking this is more of a diminishment than a realistic defense.#the 'Queen's kin' (as they were known at the time) were very visible at court and demonstrably influential and prominent in politics#and as this shows there DOES seem to have been a genuine division/conflict between them and the Nevilles during Edward's first reign#(which DID directly lead to the decline of Neville dominance in England though the maintained honored positions and influence of their own)#Especially since Edward's second reign was entirely void of any such divisions - instead the nobility were united and focused on the King#even Clarence and Gloucester's long and disruptive quarrel over the Warwick inheritance never visibly left its mark on charters#so the Woodville/Neville divide from the 1460s must have been very sharp and divisive indeed#And yes it's safe to say that Elizabeth Woodville was probably involved: whether in her own right or via support of her family - or both -#it's illogical to argue that she was uninvolved (even the supportive Croyland Chronicle writes that Edward was “too greatly influenced”#by her; she and her family worked together across the 1470s; she was the de-facto head in 1483; etc)#Enhanced by the fact that Elizabeth was the first Englishwoman to be crowned queen - meaning that the involvement of her#homeborn family marked the beginning of “a new and largely unprecedented factor in the English power structure” (Laynesmith)#This should be kept in mind when it comes to analyzing contemporary views of them and of Elizabeth's own anomalous position#HOWEVER understanding the complexity of the situation at hand doesn't mean accepting the traditionally vilified depiction of the Woodvilles#Warwick and the Nevilles remained empowered and (at least outwardly) respected by the regime#Whether he was driven by disagreements over foreign policy or jealousy or ambition - the decision to rebel was very much his own#Claiming that the Woodvilles were primarily responsible is ridiculous (and most of the nobility continued to support Edward regardless)#There's also the fact that Warwick took what was probably a basic factional divide and turned it into a misogynistic and classist narrative#of a transgressive “bad” woman who became queen through witchcraft and aggrandized a family of social-climbing “lessers” who replaced#the inherently more deserving old nobility and corrupted the realm - later revived and intensified by Richard III a decade later#ie: We can recognize their genuine division AND question the (false/unfair) problematic narrative around the Woodvilles. Nuance is the key.
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okayokay here are my Thoughts that no one asked for aljgdh
i LOVE bloom's boots and her wings!! the hair will definitely grow on me. i don't like her outfit though. i do see what they're going for! it's very reminiscent of her og magic winx and one of the earlier promo designs we saw but to me, this doesn't feel very,,, bloom. it's so sharp, there are so many angles and layers (which feels like the Theme rn for most of them). IF they're going for more of a dragon warrior vibe for her then i can def see it, but the stiff fabric just isn't doing it for me. i do like the shoulder guard look though! idk there are aspects i like and i can see the vision, but i'm hoping the final design is a bit more refined and feels more like Bloom
like i said before, aisha's design feels very one-note compared to the other girls and i think it's because she's basically wearing one color. i love that they put her in blue!! but i hope they introduce a secondary color like her og green or yellow/purple to help balance her out. as for the actual outfit, love the boots! it feels more believix to me but i concede that this transformation is meant to feel more modern so i'll deal. the actual outfit,,, not the Best. the cuts are interesting, there's a lot of symmetry which is weird to see on aisha since most of her transformations before were very asymmetrical. i'd love to see more flowy fabric with her! the little hip things just aren't doing it for me. i like her wings! but they do look a little too similar to bloom's for them to really stand out. i love the gold on them though!! AND HER HAIR >>>>> best part!!
LOVE musa's hair!! it's so cute i'm crying :') i feel like the hair is definitely a strong point of these designs!! i think the wings will grow on me once i see them in action. right now they feel a little awkward but i see the vision. i think so far musa's whole design is looking really good. Very similar to her og winx with just enough of a new change to not feel exactly the same. and her boots!!! LOVE seeing that more edgy side of musa reflected in her clothing! idk i think this is one of the stronger designs good for her!!
we didn't get to see the bottom half of stella's look so i'm not sure what that's going to be like! i love the sun ray collar but i will say it def feels more Fairy Warrior so,, i like it but i would want to see that reflected in the actual fighting and plot too. if it's not then it's not the Best design choice imo. her wings,,, like musa, i think they'll grow on me once i see them in action. it's lovely to see blue on her! not sure how i feel about the hair but since stella's ponytail is in her casual look instead, i understand why they didn't put it here too. i'm looking forward to seeing more of this design!
we also didn't get to see the lower half of tec's design so,, idk but i think it'll end up being pants going by the look of her boots? i don't Love the boots, but again, i see the vision and i do think it'll look better animated. her wings,, i like them but i would've liked to see a more interesting overall shape! the design on the inside is great, but tecna's wings were always sooo interesting and didn't feel like generic fairy wing shape. idk,,, we will see.... LOVE the hair, love the glowiness. it's like a solid 6/10 for me. i think there are certain things they could still play around with to enhance the design but it's going in the right direction
okay,, first, LOVE the braid!! she's finally beating the "never changes her hair" allegations good for her. and the little flowers in her hair are MWAH the wings are cute! they look good with the design. love the petals on the top! it def blends more and isn't as overwhelming as the previous design. the flower arm bands are also a classic. the skirt is really where it loses me. i like it In Theory - i understand the goal. it's very flowery, very much like petals, it reminds me a lot of a tulip. so i get it! However, the layers,,, idk man it just looks off to me
it Def looks better in action! it's not as stiff, the edges are going up, there's an overall more graceful, flowy vibe to it. but the layers,,,, i Get it but i don't love the execution. but to fair, i don't really know what would make it look better so maybe this is the best they could come up with
OVERALL, i do think it's going in the right direction in regard to pleasing old fans and appealing to newer, younger audiences! i do think a lot of the fabric looks really stiff rn But seeing flora's animated transformation is giving me hope that it will look better in the actual show. the 3D rendering just looks off when it's a standalone piece. so far, i think the best designs are musa's and flora's. they feel a lot more balanced, capture the winx vibe, And still feel true to the characters. imo the other designs are missing one or two of those elements.
bloom's design needs to feel more like bloom. aisha's needs more dimension. stella's is nice in theory but doesn't quite match her more carefree, fun-loving attitude and feels more like a Royal Warrior thing so it really depends on how she's being characterized i guess. tecna's is good but i want to see the whole thing lol also i think her wings should be more unique
Now. as for the casuals.
tecna looks great i think we can all agree on that!! very boss babe i love it!! aisha,,, i think her pants should be baggier. the tight fit and hip cuts just,,, i see the vision but i think they need to reel it in and make it more Aisha. stella's skin is way too light she looks sick. her outfit,,, Bad. her entire design just feels so pale and desaturated?? like just up the saturation on everything and it'll look ten times better even with the wacky outfit choice.
musa's is okay. i get the vibes - i understand the choices. but like aisha, i think her design could just use a little more thought. it's similar to her og outfit but kind of in the wrong way imo? like it has the same sort of look and cuts, but it's also tight and uncomfortable. musa's og look was very much about comfort over fashion so this feels a little,, hhhrrrrmmmm yknow? i do like the direction though! i think for me, it really is the top part. like why is she wearing a skin tight bodysuit. who told her that was comfortable for day to day wear. it's very much aesthetic over comfort which isn't Bad but it doesn't feel very s1 Musa yknow? she loved her baggy, comfy clothing for normal days
flora's is okay too. again, i like the direction. i don't love it as her Official One Casual Look for the season; i think i would've preferred it as a secondary look for one episode. but it's not the worst! it Is very flora so i concede lol
#long post#oh my#i think rn tecna and flora are tied for best overall looks for both#musa is a VERY close second/third. i just think her casual needs to be reassessed#the others just need to feel more like themselves for me to like it#clearly they are capable of that because Look at musa's and flora's transformations yknow?#i feel like theyre trying to keep stella being the fashionista but theyre also basing their knowledge on like#currently outdated tiktok trends#fashion trends are moving Really fast rn!! it's better to stick to a specific vibe for characters and not try to make it Too Modern#they will end up looking outdated lol#like the other girls kind of have those vibes but there's a lot more individual personality and hints of their og designs#that's Kind of there with stella like she has certainly worn dresses with that kind of fit before#but the entire thing as a whole just does Not feel stella#same with her transformation actually like i Get it but it's not Stella#at least not in s1 yknow? it feels a little too mature man we've been through a lot for a s1 transformation#same with bloom's! like it's Okay but it doesn't feel like a first transformation for a young fairy#and listen i dont hate the idea of their looks being more armor-like But that needs to be reflected in the fights and vibe of the show#AAGGGHHH idk maybe ill change my mind about bloom and stella's transformations once we see them animated#so many thoughts..#im gonna wait to speak on bloom's casual until we get a more clear shot of her!#But from what i could see it looks good lol very s1 bloom
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I'm gonna get into a brawl with my mother one day don't be surprised when I get on the news
#long rant incoming lol but#so my birthday is in like 2 weekends from now and my mom asked me for a list of things i want#so i compiled a list of six things with like 2 $10 options 2 like $17 options and one $25 and $60 option#and i wanna be clear i dont really care to make one but she gets pissy if i dont and its meant as more an ideas list#i dont need everything on there and its meant for my entire family#or ignore the list! i don't care!#FREAKED OUT on me saying i was being selfish/too expensive and im like....i never expected all of this stuff epseically from one person...#i am happy with one of the $10 options or a gift card or something else entirely so like#it kinda feels bad to get asked for a list of stuff i want and then get called selfish for it and then for her to talk behind my back about#me to my sister lol#also asked me if i was available for a bday celebration on a certain day and i was like yeah i got a thing in the afternoon but i can#still make it#get yelled at AGAIN bc she said oh u can leave that early and i was like...uh...no i cant lol im sorry....i paid to go to this thing already#and its like why ask me if u are gonna get mad if im unavailable (which im not even lmao)#idk it's just it's always been an ideas list in my family so i dont get why she's freaking out on me and acting like im asking for so much#espcially cause she just changed out all of her kitchen appliances and redid all of the landscaping in her front and back yard like 😭😭😭#truly didnt think a $10-20 gift was like crazy if u did wanna get me a gift lol#not really looking forward to it now ngl#chen.txt#rant post
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can someone please write this doropetra fashion designer/journalist modern au for me. i spent too long thinking about the devil wears prada today and now i have all the beats mapped out for this story i Do Not have enough time in the world to write.
please help. please. i'll give you everything. all of it. it's all right here. take it. mention me if you swap the names to sell the movie or streaming rights. i just want it to exist.
pitch: dorothea is a hot-nasty fashion mogul and petra is a journalist-turned-reluctant model who captures dorothea's attention (and her heart).
btw this is a Really long post so look out. also i know nothing about the fashion industry and Will Not Learn so don't tell me anything.
setting: various major cities in the USA. NYC, LA, Enbarr (you know, Enbarr, that major city somewhere between florida and texas. we've all been there).
cast
most everybody is in their mid-to-late 20s at the start.
petra: the last journalist with integrity in a world that's actively trying to eliminate journalism as a field. worked her ass off writing listicles and bullshit SEO articles for years until she caught a break and got in with a "Real Publication." she now works her ass off there. unfortunately there's rumors of her team getting laid off due to AI crap so she's stressed af trying to line up her next gig, just in case.
dorothea: hotshot young fashion mogul with a cult of personality around her. was a complete unknown barely out of college when she designed manuela casagranda's absolutely breathtaking met gala dress and her company blew up overnight. now does high-profile lines that are popular with movie star types and bougie social media influencers. notorious for being very, very friendly with her preferred models.
edelgard: petra's finance major/arts minor friend from college and her former roommate. nepo baby with Lots of connections. got petra her first big job writing PR crap for a division of the hresvelg business empire. caused a scandal by getting romantically involved with her TA (byleth) in grad school but they're still together. complains about her PA (hubert) and her lout of a stepbrother (dimitri), both of whom she's constantly texting or otherwise having to corral.
shamir: petra's boss/editor. admires petra's guts and her writing chops, as well as her ambition. somewhat of a mentor to petra, but is absolutely no-nonsense when it comes to work. she's been in this business a long time. there's no fucking around. leonie is another journo on the team. ignatz and linhardt also work with them doing layouts, formatting, and photo/video editing.
manuela: a famous singer from dorothea's hometown who basically adopted dorothea as a protégé after dorothea sent her sketches of designs she'd made. essentially responsible for dorothea's career. they have a bit of a contentious relationship these days as manuela's a bit jealous of dorothea's rising star and because dorothea's been ungrateful in recent years despite how much manuela's stuck her neck out for her. still, she's always there to give dorothea terrible advice when she needs it. her evolving relationship with dorothea is kind of a b-plot.
bernadetta: a reclusive, but well-connected social justice blogger and internet activist. one of petra's good buddies who regularly sends her scoops.
ingrid, ferdinand, sylvain, catherine, felix: models who commonly work with dorothea.
Jeritza: a nobody fashion photographer who thinks he's somebody. he's absolutely awful.
claude and hilda: paparazzi who work for tmz, buzzfeed, whoever will take em. petra thinks they are the scum of the earth. they are.
act 1
we open with petra on yet another bullshit assignment for her crappy job writing articles about things that don't matter. this one is a profile piece about a local fashion photographer, the mononymous Jeritza, who might be somebody someday and seems to think he already is. leonie was supposed to do the article but she flubbed it by offending Jeritza, who now won't give her the time of day, so shamir asks petra to please step in last-minute. petra's mad, but she gets her hustle on and goes anyway. it's not like she can be too picky with gigs in this economy.
by the time she gets to the shoot, she's late, and Jeritza is throwing a tantrum. the model isn't working out. Jeritza cannot work in these conditions. Jeritza fires the model and is about to freak the fuck out when petra walks in the door. oh, Jeritza says. i can work with you. petra did NOT sign up to be a model, has never wanted to be a model, has no interest in this whatsoever. but let's be real: it is a great angle for the piece. this could get clicks. shares, even. so she does it.
the shoot is a massive success, which is to say Jeritza is delighted with the results, but as it's just for a local streetwear company, the impact on culture is negligible. petra writes her article, which gets some attention due to the very funny portrait it paints of the histrionic artiste that is Jeritza. it's not much buzz, but it's just enough buzz to get shared around in fashion circles—enough for it to wind up in dorothea's inbox, courtesy of manuela. "Thought of you!! XD XD This is so funny!!" manuela writes. dorothea replies "lol" and is about to move on with her day when she decides to give the article a courtesy skim and scrolls down far enough to see the pictures.
oh. who is that model?
a few days later, petra's out at a bar getting drinks with edelgard and bitching about life when she gets a call from an unknown number. she figures it's probably spam, but they leave a voicemail. the transcription mentions it's from a dorothea arnault, whoever that is. edelgard almost shits a brick. DOROTHEA ARNAULT? you need to call her back. right now. petra's like okay jeez, i will. what's the big deal. edelgard facepalms. she forgot that petra doesn't follow fashion even a little bit ("isn't the gucci, like, the area between your butthole and your—?" "no petra it is not"). embarrassing for her, but there's no saving some people.
edelgard briefs her on the arnault situation. dorothea's studio is huge right now. edelgard's family business has been sponsoring some of her recent fashion shows and everybody who's anybody is trying to get an arnault outfit for their next event. while dorothea's very popular on social media, she's very tight-lipped about her private life. a profile on her could be a huge break for petra.
okay, petra thinks, what the fuck, okay. i'll call her back.
dorothea picks up on the fifth ring. uh-oh: she sounds hot.
hel-looo, miss macneary, she says, it's nice of you to pick up the phone. i saw that little article you wrote recently. you're sooooo funny. [her voice is sweet and smooth like butter. she sounds like she's twirling her hair as she talks. she doesn't say how she got petra's number. petra doesn't think to ask.] and those photos of you... my, my. you're quite the looker, aren't you? and you don't even model professionally? that's a terrible shame. you'd do well, you know. i'm in berlin right now but i'll be in enbarr's fashion district on tuesday afternoon. why don't you come by the studio? we're doing a shoot for some designs i'm releasing soon... a secret summer collection. oops, i shouldn't have told you about that, should i? well, i'm sure i can trust you to keep my secret. and maybe i could even trust you to write something nice about me? i think they'd suit you, you know, these new pieces i've got. if you have any interest in trying your hand at modeling again, i'd love to see you in them. 11 o'clock. ciao!
petra gets a handful of words in edgewise. most of them are yes. she keeps her phone held to her ear for too long after dorothea hangs up. she wishes she'd been sober for this conversation. she's not really sure what she just agreed to. she doesn't want to forget the sound of that voice.
she shoots a text to shamir. edelgard buys her a shot the instant she steps back into the bar.
tuesday comes and petra's nervous. she packed and repacked for this. checked twenty-five times that she brought her tape recorder and her good camera. arnault is gonna think that camera's a joke, but it is what it is. she's trying to play it cool, hyping herself up the whole time she's on the train. it's gonna be fine. just keep the tape rolling. write the profile. she doesn't have to model, she can just do what she does best. listen. pay attention. write honestly. move on.
sure.
if petra thought dorothea sounded hot, she's wholly unprepared for how hot she is in person. she's spellbinding. drop-dead gorgeous. positively unreal. and on top of that, she's so charming. she's graceful. smart. funny. flirty. and she keeps touching her—little touches on her hand, her arm. chaste things. friendly things. things that could be accidents.
she's exactly petra's type.
but petra is a journalist with integrity, dammit. she's going to be professional. and to her credit, she is professional. arnault makes it hard, but she manages. she blends in, listens, stays focused, stays out of the way. the model's cute—ingrid something-or-other. she can't remember but she got it on the tape recorder. told petra her instagram handle like six times, too, so she won't have any trouble finding her. the shoot is almost wrapped when dorothea asks if petra would be interested in modeling for her. she's not at all offended when petra politely declines. she poses when petra asks to take her photo for the profile. thanks her for coming out and talking to her. says goodbye with a polite handshake and that dazzling smile. she thinks about that smile and that touch throughout the whole train ride home.
skip ahead to friday. petra is working on the story and transcribing the audio recording when she gets a text from dorothea. so lovely meeting you on tuesday [heart emoji] [kiss emoji] [heart emoji] i know it's last minute, but the final pieces of the summer collection are coming in tomorrow and i think you'll like them for your profile. i'll fly you up tomorrow morning to meet me at my studio in manhattan, unless you're busy, of course~
petra is not busy tomorrow. shamir is considering opening a new style division of their publication.
the flight is the train ride but worse. keep the tape rolling, macneary. listen. pay attention. write honestly. move on.
she's resolute. committed. her resolve doesn't waver even when she gets off the plane, ready to call an uber, and there's a guy in a suit with a sign that says MACNEARY on it. it doesn't waver when the guy stops her and says no, he's not looking for another macneary, he's here for her, courtesy of ms. arnault. it doesn't waver throughout the ride—the chauffeured ride, in a fancy car, just her and the guy—from jfk through the streets of nyc, seeing the skyline she's only ever known from movies and on tv. it doesn't waver when she's escorted into a skyscraper in the garment district and guided up to the floor where ms. arnault is waiting for her.
it wavers when she sees her. when dorothea says her model couldn't make it that day and she could really, really use petra's help, it falls completely.
you can guess how the rest of that trip goes. petra barely remembers it herself. she gets back home to enbarr, trying to recover from the whirlwind week she's had by doing what she does best—working. she can scarcely believe any of it was real. she has to believe it when she gets back to her shithole apartment, sets to the task of transcribing the audio from her tape recorder, and realizes it was rolling the whole time.
the whole time.
and there's absolutely no denying any of it after dorothea sends her the photos for her review.
you look so good in these, she tells petra when she sends her the first photoset. i think you look better out of them, she says when she sends the second.
petra considers her options. considers freaking out. considers not replying. considers moving to australia. she considers and reconsiders and does none of those things.
what she does do is send dorothea the audio recording. dorothea sends her some photos of her own.
they meet up again in LA on the day the profile drops.
act 2
if that first week was a whirlwind, the summer is a hurricane. petra's being lauded for the quality of her profile on dorothea, as well as for being the only member of the press who can get close to ms. arnault. it's borderline scandalous, how she's also modeling the summer line despite not even being a real model. it's a thinly-guised affair—almost completely un-guised when their flirting gets a little too overt during a show in tokyo. who cares. petra's entranced. dorothea takes her everywhere, her personal reporter, lavishing her with gifts, showing her the world. she's keeping her busy between all this travel and all this passion. they go to show after show, shoot after shoot; petra works her ass off, keeping the tape rolling, listening, paying attention. so what if she doesn't have time to answer shamir's texts right away the way she normally would. the website's getting more traffic than it ever has, carried by petra's inside scoop on the world of dorothea arnault. shamir can cut her a break.
and she's surprised by how much she likes dorothea. how much she likes spending time with her. dorothea's all the things petra thought she was: glamorous, bubbly, charismatic. but she's also so brilliant, so hard-working, busting her ass every single day of her life. and she's sweet, too. she lavishes petra with attention, gives her all kinds of little gifts and things—nothing too expensive as to make petra uncomfortable (the jetsetting is bad enough as-is), but small, practical things she actually likes and could use. she asks petra about herself almost as often as petra asks questions about her. it's not petra's job to talk beyond getting the conversation flowing, to put more of herself into the discussion than there needs to be to get dorothea to open up. she's here to listen. to pay attention. write honestly and move on.
but she's finding she doesn't really want to move on.
one night they're hanging out in dorothea's fancy hotel room eating room service and drinking wine when dorothea makes a crack about how little petra knows about fashion. petra admits that she really didn't intend to get into it, that it just kind of happened. that what she really wants to do is investigative work, writing about events, exposing corruption, that sort of thing. no offense to dorothea! it's been fun doing this, don't get her wrong, but she's got goals, other things she wants to do—once dorothea gets tired of her, she jokes. sort of jokes. dorothea laughs. she smiles at her and asks why she wanted to be a journalist.
and petra's honest again. honest like she hasn't been before. she tells her a little about her childhood, her family life. about growing up in brigid (you know, the country on planet earth) and moving to enbarr as a teenager after her father died. seeing her super-smart, brilliant mother and grandfather go from these auspicious jobs in their home country to shitty ones that just barely pay the bills here, all in the name of long-term security. how they taught her to work hard and always act with integrity, no matter what she's doing. she tells her about the struggles of learning a new language, how it made her become a good listener, how she fell in love with writing because it gives her time to think about her words, to express herself the way she wants to. she wanted to be a journalist to speak for those who can't raise their voices loud enough on their own.
dorothea smiles at her the whole time she's talking. petra's not used to being on this side of the table, to being listened to like this. she almost doesn't know how to handle it; she's apologizing, feeling embarrassed for having said so much, but dorothea says don't be sorry. that's beautiful. she's lucky to have such wonderful people in her life who love her and support her. and she likes hearing petra talk.
things are different after that night.
act 3
the start of the Drama Arc. the summer's coming to an end. petra and dorothea are still spending so much time together, jetsetting around the world. petra's working on a piece that's a backstage look at the arnault company's leadup to milan fashion week. the stress is getting Real and the cracks are starting to show. petra's missing deadlines, blowing off shamir, blowing off edelgard, blowing off her family. she's barely in enbarr these days, jetlagged to hell, lost between time zones. her pal bernadetta reaches out and says hey, there's something Big i'm working on that i could use help digging into, can you give me a hand? petra says sure, i'll take a look. she doesn't. she forgets somewhere between london and são paolo.
things are still hot between her and dorothea, but she's starting to see the cracks in her, too. she's getting to see more of her, more of what lies beneath all that glam and bubbly personableness. you don't go from being a nobody to a mogul in your 20s by being nice, and what petra slowly discovers is that dorothea isn't just not nice, she is ruthless. she's nonstop, working her ass off, and anyone who can't keep up with her gets left behind. she hints at her past sometimes: at her shitty childhood, at growing up in poverty, at being orphaned, at having spent years in foster care. but she never opens up. she's 100% focused on the future, and it's all she wants to talk about. dorothea wants to live her dreams, yes, but more importantly, her goal is self-preservation.
petra finds this out when they're at a shoot one day. petra's off to the side, fucking with her piece of shit camera when who storms up to her but ingrid, and she's pissed as shit. she chews petra out. calls her an asshole. says she stole her job. asks what the fuck is wrong with her, doing that while posting her articles, publicly announcing to the world that she never even wanted to be a model. petra's floored. she doesn't even know what she's talking about. she asks ingrid to start over.
that "second date" of theirs in manhattan, way back when? turns out dorothea was telling the truth when she said her model couldn't make it that day. ingrid was supposed to be modeling. she was dorothea's #1 for ages. she'd just come off back-to-back-to-back shoots when she got sick, really sick. stuck-in-shanghai-and-probably-not-going-to-be-able-to-board-a-flight-to-manhattan-tomorrow sick. she told dorothea so, said she'd try her best. dorothea said not to bother and didn't call her again.
it'll happen to you, too, ingrid tells petra, once you aren't useful to her. you're giving her all this press now, but if you ever do anything else, she'll drop you like she drops everyone else.
ingrid storms off, leaving petra standing there, holding her stupid camera. she looks at dorothea, standing across the room, running the show, correcting this and that, getting everything perfect, exactly the way she wants it. petra looks at her and wonders. wonders what would happen if she wrote something dorothea didn't like. if somebody new caught her eye.
they get dinner that night and it's tense. dorothea's stressed. she's carrying on about this and that, talking about the shoot, texting and responding to emails, slamming back glass after glass of wine. petra's quiet, letting her talk. too quiet, apparently, because dorothea eventually takes her head out of her phone and asks her what's up. nothing, petra says, just thinking about everything going on, about the shoot today. dorothea rolls her eyes. i know, she says; on top of everything else, ingrid was there, and she wanted to have a whole conversation with me, like i wasn't busy and like she didn't fuck me over the last time i saw her. she texted me earlier, too. the audacity of this bitch, she gripes, going back into her phone, still mad. a little later into dinner, manuela calls and dorothea answers it; she's bubbly and sweet, all hi how are you omg it's been so long, i miss you, sorry i've just been so busy~ i've gotta go but we'll catch up soon. she hangs up and shoots petra a look. she's so needy, dorothea says, laughing. petra tries to laugh too and can't quite manage.
they're still going everywhere together in the leadup to milan fashion week, and petra's still working on the piece, but she's feeling a little gross and she's quieter than ever. she lets herself believe that maybe it's fine, maybe it's okay, maybe she's not really that cold and ruthless. but then dorothea shows her one day.
everything's been going wrong: there's equipment stuck in customs, marketing materials haven't been delivered from the printers yet, the studio they rented for pre-shoots is double-booked. then a model's late to the shoot and another one is complaining and dorothea is done, so done. she fires them on the spot, gets on the phone and calls two new ones who will get the job done and done without question. petra's quiet. listening. paying attention. keeping the tape rolling as dorothea justifies herself aloud, without prompting. don't judge me, she says. i do what i have to do, and everyone else should, too. i know no one is going to take care of me. i've got no reason to take care of anyone else.
she's a mess all night. angry. stressed. shutting herself off. petra's seen her get like this a few times, but this is the worst it's ever been. she's in her phone all night. practically snaps at petra when she asks if she can help her with anything. shrugs away from petra's touch.
they go to bed and petra barely sleeps. she just lies awake, thinking. thinking about dorothea. thinking about herself. thinking about how she's been blowing off her friends, her family, her boss. thinking about how swept up she's been in all this crazy stuff she doesn't even really care about, putting off her own career. feeling guilty about ingrid. feeling guilty about blowing off shamir and bernadetta. worrying about who she's become around this woman. wondering what happened to her integrity.
fashion week goes great. flawlessly. petra heads back to enbarr afterward. she's almost ready to publish her piece, but she's gotta make up with shamir first. she apologizes. says she's so sorry. sorry for blowing her off. sorry she missed her deadlines. shamir is pretty fucking done with her and has told her as much already, but petra's earnest, and her piece is ready, and she wants to give the girl one more shot. she tells petra alright, i'll forgive you, but i need this piece tonight or we're done. i can't keep waiting on you and your schedule.
okay, petra says, you'll have it tonight.
she's worried. nervous. there's so much on her mind. the piece is ready but it's not going to make dorothea happy. she wants to call her first. she tries and gets her voicemail. tries again. nothing. texts her instead, a few times. hey, she writes, i need to talk to you. call me when you get the chance. it's about the profile. it's important. i'm on a deadline.
nothing. the hours are ticking by. she calls her. texts her. it's really important, dorothea. i need you to talk to me. please.
nothing.
petra's left wondering. wondering what to do. whether she should hit send on this email or hold off. wondering what she wants out of this.
and what is this, anyway? a summer fling? are they dating? girlfriends? they've never put a name on anything. do they have a future? can petra even think about building a future with someone she doesn’t trust to keep her along if she ever should need help? maybe dorothea’s hot and smart and maybe she’s got incredible drive but if she doesn't share petra's values, if she’s not going to be able to live for more than herself, and be true to herself, can petra accept that? does dorothea even know herself well enough to be able to be authentic?
time runs out and petra sends her piece to shamir. dorothea leaves her on read.
the piece is published. it's a huge hit, and not just in fashion circles, because it's a perfect portrait of dorothea arnault, and who doesn't love a biography of a wunderkind. it's honest. it's real. it talks about everything: her light, her darkness, the ups and the downs of being with her. it's raw. personal. revealing. it's all her brilliance and all her evils, captured in the way only someone who really loves her could do.
when it drops, petra expects dorothea to call and rip her a new one. she doesn't expect her not to call at all. but dorothea's radio silent. a few days later, some dickhead paparazzi petra has the misfortune of knowing (hilda and claude) send her a picture of dorothea in LA, running around with some red-headed douche (ferdinand).
sorry, dorothea texts her eventually. i've been soooo busy. i've missed you, but we'll catch up soon.
sure, petra writes, knowing they won't. i'll see you soon, she writes, knowing it's goodbye.
act 4
petra goes back to her career. back to her friends. crashes on edelgard's couch for a while. spends time with her family. starts addressing the connections she fucked up, fixing things with shamir, trying to gain momentum again. despite the profile on dorothea being such a success, it takes a long time for her to get back on her feet. but it's okay, 'cause if she's busy, she doesn't have to think about her.
months go by. every couple of nights, dorothea drafts a text to petra and deletes it.
it's february now, which means new york fashion week is here, and although petra is branching into investigative stuff nowadays, shamir calls in a favor and asks her to help cover it. petra knows she might see dorothea there. knows it’s a risk. decides she’s gonna be so strong and brave, and she can’t really afford to pass it up anyway because it’s a big career opportunity, a chance to revisit fashion after her profile last year. so she goes.
and they see each other. and nothing happens. they don't even say hello.
but that night, when petra’s in her hotel room, spiraling, dorothea calls her. she's in a hotel up the street. she asks petra to come over. for all her sense, her morals, her logic, petra is no more than a lesbian, so she says yes.
they don't talk. they jump right to making out sloppy style and fucking nasty and holy shit, it’s just like it was when they first met: hot and intense and so good, so perfect. except it’s not, it’s not, because this isn’t going to work out no matter how much they want it to, and they both know it. they get into a big fight after dorothea makes a crack about the profile and petra loses it. she puts dorothea on blast for being such a piece of work, saying she can’t ever be with her no matter how much she wants to because dorothea won't ever put someone else first and she’ll never figure out how to be anything other than alone.
then petra drops another bomb. over the past few months, she's made up with bernadetta, and it turns out that the big scoop bernie uncovered is about exploitative business practices a certain scummy fashion company engages in. a certain scummy company that dorothea's company is partnered with. said company's dealings wouldn't get their business partners in legal trouble, but public perception would certainly change. she's been working on an exposé about it. she's going to release it soon. really really soon. like as soon as she gets back to enbarr.
dorothea looks like she's been hit by a truck. she begs petra not to release the story about the company. it’s going to fuck her brand. she'll be ruined. she offers petra whatever she wants. gets nasty, even, defensive. then she fucking breaks. she doesn’t fully open up, but it’s the closest she’s ever come to doing it. she says she's sorry, sorry for hurting her, sorry for shutting her out, sorry she cut and ran like she always does when she might catch feels, when she might be vulnerable for once. she says she's sorry and she asks her please, please, not to release the story.
petra doesn’t give her an answer. she just goes back to her hotel.
once she gets back, she doesn't sleep. she stews for ages, pacing, going back and forth, trying to figure out what to do. act with integrity and drop the story as-is. don’t drop the story and protect the person she cares about, in spite of herself. amend the story so maybe dorothea won’t catch heat...? no, that wouldn’t be acting with integrity either. she can’t win either way.
and dorothea’s having a think, too, which is to say she’s a fucking WRECK. realizing how bad she’s fucked up her life. realizing that petra liked her for her. wanted to get to know her for more than her name and her money and her connections. told her things about herself she didn’t even realize were true. and she hurt her at every single turn. for the first time in her life, she had a chance at something real with a good person who really loved her and she fucking blew it. there’s so much dissonance as she tries to defend her own actions to herself and can’t because petra’s wormed her way into her head, the only person who ever Really questioned her, the only person who ever made her question.
she's always figured things out alone. she's always had to figure things out alone. this time, though, dorothea's not sure she can handle it. so she does the only thing she can think to do: she goes to manuela with her tail between her legs. manuela's a little pissy at first as dorothea's been blowing her off for a while now, but she's also worried, because dorothea has never come to her like this. not once. and she's offered for her to, a lot.
when manuela hugs her, dorothea breaks. she ugly-cries into manuela's arms. tells her how bad she's fucked up. how much she hates herself. how sorry she is for being a dickhead when manuela's only ever wanted to be there for her. manuela comforts her. chastises her for being an asshole, yeah, but shores her up, too. tells her if she's really sorry, she'll figure out how to change. tells her that she's there for her, and she'll keep being there for her, so long as she tries. dorothea's blown away. she thought she'd lost her shot at having love in her life, but she was too blind to see there are other types of love she's been shutting herself away from, too.
dorothea leaves manuela's, still feeling like shit, but with plans to get lunch or at least call each week, and with the promise that she's going to do better, be better.
she makes an effort, too. she cuts ties with the skunks. changes her business practices. starts being more charitable, less ruthless, less aggressive. it’s a slog and it sucks and she’s bad at it but fuck she’s going to try. even if petra never takes her back, even if petra just thinks dorothea’s trying to cover her own ass again and protect herself from the impact of the story, it doesn’t matter. she’s going to be better. she’s going to try to do things right, because someone believed in her, someone thought she could be better. and she’d never thought so highly of herself, never thought she could be more until petra came into her life and saw the potential in her.
petra releases the story a week or so later, unrevised. she texts dorothea before she does. says she’s sorry. dorothea says it’s alright. she understands.
the story drops and it’s a clusterfuck. an absolute PR disaster. the scummy company folds overnight. a bunch of related fashion companies, including dorothea’s, are in huge hot water. dorothea’s on the press circuit, doing damage control. petra’s watching an interview with her, listening to her spouting off her PR beats. fully expecting dorothea is going to deny everything, throw everyone she can under the bus to keep her shit afloat. so she just about has a heart attack when dorothea admits she’s fucked up. admits she made the wrong decisions, did stuff she knew was scummy. takes accountability. is honest for once. honest in a way petra didn’t think was even possible for her.
dorothea outlines her plans for how she’s going to be better, the changes her company’s making, how things are going to be different. says she’s making a commitment. if it all folds, so be it. at least she’ll be able to sleep at night.
because capitalism is the way it is, the company doesn’t go under. they’re in the red for a while and the "Controversies" section of her wikipedia page is now significantly longer, but the news cycle goes on and consumers forget and a few months later, pieces from dorothea’s summer line are all the rage with the kids on tiktok. petra’s more than a little bitter about it, but mostly she doesn’t give it any thought. she did her part. wrote honestly. spoke the truth. kept her integrity. she’s become a big name since that scoop, too, with her career really taking off. she's writing books and shit, appearing on tv, what have you, doing the investigative work she's always dreamed of doing.
she’s in london one night on the final leg of a press tour, sitting in her hotel room, when she gets a call.
it’s dorothea. she’s in london too. would petra like to get brunch tomorrow?
yeah she would. bitch loves a mimosa.
they get brunch and it’s tense. they try small talk but don’t really know what to talk about. dorothea makes it more awkward by cracking a joke about petra writing an article about her after this brunch and petra only kind of laughs.
but then dorothea apologizes. earnest. honest. like she’s never been with petra. tells her she’s sorry. tells her how she changed her life and made her think about herself differently, made her think she could be a better person. made her Want to be a better person. convinced her it’d be worthwhile to try. and she has. she’s made so many steps since they last saw each other. doing better. living kinder. living true. says she doesn’t expect anything from petra at all. just wanted to say sorry, and thank you for seeing the best in me.
petra says you’re welcome.
dorothea pays for brunch and they go their separate ways. dorothea holds it together until she gets to her hotel room and then she loses it, bawling her eyes out like she has never ever done, like she’s never let herself do. but it’s okay. she loves petra, that hot journo with the cute accent and more morals than sense, but dorothea knows she doesn’t deserve her, and she’s going to be okay with that. she’s going to live better anyway, for herself, because she’s worth it.
act 5
a year and a half goes by before dorothea and petra run into each other at a formal Thing. they talk, cordial, business-like, just catching up. dorothea makes a crack about the tmz photos of petra with three or four different high-profile supposed gfs over the past year and a half, calling her a heartbreaker. petra laughs, a real laugh. says dorothea's one to talk. asks if she's been keeping up with her? how often does she google her? dorothea says she does it more often than she'd like to admit. petra blushes, laughs again, flattered.
she asks if dorothea's been breaking more hearts lately herself and dorothea says nah. she's been focusing on her business. she's got this non-profit going now too, and it's been taking off. just landed some pretty big investments that will bring arts programs to schools that don't have funding for them. she looks proud of this. she is. she's actually spending more time doing that these days than her fashion stuff, which makes her a little sad, but it's not so bad because it's given her a bit of a mystique: the designer whose work was once Everywhere, now dropping limited release lines every few seasons instead of keeping up with the fast fashion whirlwind. it's different but it's good. she likes it. she's happy.
petra says she's glad to hear that. that she's happy for her. makes a reference to the new line dorothea's rumored to be dropping this fall. dorothea's eyes almost pop out of her head. you know about that? yeah, petra says, i google you. she's known about the non-profit, about everything dorothea's been telling her about. she's a journalist. she likes knowing things. but she likes knowing about her. knowing that she's doing well. and it's really good now, knowing that she's happy. she tells dorothea she's happy for her. that she's proud of her. that she knew she could do it.
dorothea doesn't cry. just says thank you. she gets called away by somebody else, and petra does too, pulled in the opposite direction. dorothea thinks about hugging her first. almost touches her hand. elects not to. says it was good to see her. then they're both whirled elsewhere and they don't see each other again.
but that night when dorothea's in her hotel, she gets a text. it's from petra. would she like to get coffee tomorrow?
FIN
#fe3h#fire emblem#doropetra#dorothea arnault#petra macneary#sterge.rtf#journalist x fashion designer au#long post#thinkin about them girls#wish i could do this idea justice#i just wrote an edeleth fic and Need to get back to hpnd as i miss those fellas#plus there's the matter of old man clod who is the albatross around my neck at this point#but now i've got this doropetra situation on the brain and it's gonna be the death of me.#apologies to arrow and caller as i literally vomited this entire au at them this morning#copy and pasted chunks of this from discord bc i'm lazy and spent Too Fucking Long writing this up anyway#might write the first part as a one-shot for funsies#i like exploring the ruthless side of dorothea. the side of her that is focused wholly on self-preservation#yeah she's funny and flirty and sweet but she's also Very Aware of how the world works and Will get what she wants out of life#also love petra's determination and drive. her self-sacrificing nature#her integrity and her commitment to doing the right thing even if it's devastating for her personally#as y'all will eventually find out in hpnd i'm a sucker for a journalist#but even if i had time i could not be arsed to learn enough about the fashion industry to do this justice#realistically this is far enough departed to be its own book but what do i care. i'm not gonna end up actually writing the thing anyway
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bruh. how come nobody has ever called me out for taking too long into uploading something? 😭 if I was following myself, I would’ve asked like “girl where tf are your stories?” lmaoosjsjsj
#remember when I said I was gonna upload a jk fic based on#igora hills by dojacat??#I do have it on my drafts and literally have the entire thing going on but I don’t seem to like it even when the plot it’s good 😭#like I have soooooo many fics I haven’t upload bc now I feel like it’s been a long time and I don’t sort of like it no more 😭#(those fics ofc)#so now I’m like.. writing new stuff but idk if I should delete these old fics or upload them???? ��#I’m always so indecisive……#I also have a new mini series I want to start about military jungkook…#sort of similar to ITS!jungkook…#I also have ideas to post some fics about txt soobin..#and san from ateez…..#and I’ve been thinking If I should also do for enhypen heeseung….#my main focus will always be jungkook tho lol#but I’ve been wanting to writer about those other too…#*sob* *sob*#anyways#I’m going back to writing#I just wanted to sort of update y’all????#I’ll upload something these days if I don’t do it later..#hopefully it’ll be one chapter of that one military fic I just mentioned…#*sob*
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