#is this anything or am i just yelling into the void

[aayakashii]

Gaahh I'm so sorry this took so long despite it being only 2k words 😣 I am not satisfied with it at all, but I need to publish otherwise I'll never do it 💀 I do hope it's not that bad though.

Anyway, here it is @rottenzombrainz 🫶 I am sorry it took me so long!

Warning: Yandere!Jiro has absolutely no sense of personal space and boundaries

rubies and black holes

You were having pleasant dreams for a change. It wasn't anything specific – just a mess of bright colors and a fluttering feeling of comfort that made your sleep peaceful for once.

It was the kind of sweet nonsense that lulled you into a deeper slumber; not the unnerving one that made your sleep shallow and restless.

The pastel hues floated languidly like jellyfish underwater, and a soothing white noise, like the hum of an old air conditioner, vibrated inside your ears.

Everything was tranquil and you felt like nothing could ever rip that dream apart, at least not that night.

And that was true, until a bleeding black pit forcefully yanked you out of your comfort, as it suddenly made itself known in the midst of all those colors.

You couldn't ignore it, once you were aware of its presence. It was always in your line of sight, no matter how much you tried to evade it. Always lingering, haunting your peripheral vision, as if it followed your every move; yet, when you turned to face it, it just pierced you with its hypnotizing gaze – unmoving.

And what a mistake it was to face it.

You could feel your body react to it, as though you were approaching the tethering line that kept you from danger: your heart picked up its pace and your breathing got shallower.

The hole looked endless and void of life. You couldn't tell if it was made of darkness or if darkness was made of it; it was just an open gash in what was once a tranquil place – a gaping wound you could not tend to. And despite its lifelessness, you felt like it watched you. It tracked your every movement, your breathing, your heart, your eyes.

“You stare at the abyss and the abyss stares back at you”, you remembered someone had said once, only it felt quite literal in your case.

You couldn't escape its stare. It pinned you down, like a deer caught in headlights. You couldn't run, nor stay and your brain finally refused to keep up with the eldritch-esque conflict stirring inside your mind.

With a jolt, you startled awake, breathless and with your heart thumping loud and fast. You were met by the wooden ceiling of your dorm and the cold breeze that blew from your open window.

You were safe. Your breath was shaky when you sighed loudly, hands rubbing your eyes and your face to ground yourself back into reality.

It was only after a few seconds, however, that you noticed a strange weight on your abdomen.

With eyes still closed, you went to place your hand on your stomach, wondering if a cat had made its way to your bedroom (it wouldn't be the first time. Sometimes you'd wake up with a cat curled right beside your feet or your head or on your back. For some reason, the worker cats loved you and a tiny part of you wondered if they just liked the smell of the anomaly in you taking over your blood).

You weren't expecting, however, to feel tousled hair locks on your fingertips.

You slowly looked down, finally acknowledging the pair of piercing red eyes that stared at you, unblinking, while you slept.

You gasped loudly, a scream stuck on your throat, instinctively pushing the man's head away from your body, though he barely budged – his huge frame was too heavy for you to move. Sleep still coated your senses and you could feel your brain working overdrive to process what you were seeing; who was that person who watched you so intently, so silently.

Once your mind finally recognized whatever your eyes saw, however, you sighed in relief, putting a hand over your poor racing heart.

"Jiro!" You half-yelled, exasperated, and he blinked slowly. He had laid down his head on your belly while he knelt beside your bed and you had no idea how long he had been staring at you as you slept. “What are you doing here?! I was sleeping!”

He slowly got up and sat on his heels, but kept his arms firmly draped around your midsection.

“I was watching you sleep.”

You licked your dry lips and scrunched your forehead in confusion.

“I… I can see that. Why?”

Jiro looked to the side, to where his hand touched your belly. You could feel the coldness of his translucent skin seeping through the fabric of your pajamas. The blue veins on his arms formed a map of its own.

“I don't know.” He said, after a few seconds of silence. His glowing red stare fixed upon your face once more, as if searching for something inside your mind.

You opened your mouth, but no sound came out of it. You didn't know how to answer.

“I just… had an impulse and followed through with it. I just had to see you.” He muttered, still unblinking.

“You know this is like… very creepy, right?” He finally looked away, avoiding your reprimanding gaze. Deep down he knew he was wrong, but wouldn't admit. “Right?”

Jiro hummed, teeth pulling on the dead skin of his chapped lips. You had to keep yourself from scolding him even more, as small red gashes appeared on his mouth.

“Your breathing is very short and fast.” He began, voice even and monotone as it always was whenever he was talking to his patients. “You seem to be fatigued despite your sleep. These are some of the tell-tale signs of paradoxical breathing. You might be facing some degree of diaphragm dysfunction and we should investigate it.”

You rolled your eyes at the way he purposefully ignored your comment.

“No, Jiro. I'm like this because you scared the hell out of me.”

He met your eyes and, once again, like spellwork, you felt petrified under his gaze; a black hole that sucked you inside an universe of red.

“I can't understand.” he murmured.

“What is it?” You asked, voice softening to match his tone.

His hand swiftly reached towards you as if he was going to grab your face, and you flinched at the sudden movement – your nerves were still frayed at its ends. Jiro dropped his hand back into the mattress before he could touch you.

“I don't understand why I can't get you out of my head. It's aggravating.” He wrinkled his nose almost imperceptibly in a subtle expression of discomfort. “You're constantly in my mind. Day and night. No matter what I do, I end up thinking of you. Wanting to see you. It's disrupting my activities.”

You blinked rapidly, wondering if Jiro had an inkling of the weight of his words – of what he seemed to be implying – or if he was truly clueless and acting blindly, led by his instincts. You didn't know which one seemed more dangerous.

“Jiro, I'm- I'm flattered but–”

“Maybe, subconsciously, I came here to understand.” He interrupted, as if deep in his thoughts. “To observe. To gather empirical evidence.”

He shuffled on his spot and laid his head on your torso. His mop of messy hair tickled your chin as he nuzzled into your chest, inhaling sharply.

“Jiro!” You tried to pry him away from your body to no avail.

He shuddered as he exhaled slowly, as if savoring your scent. He turned his head to look at you.

You couldn't help but swallow thickly and notice every little pore of his face from so up close. His long lashes, the dark circles under his eyes, his chapped, pale lips and the little mole on his chin. You cursed yourself for thinking he still looked beautiful while you were pinned on your bed.

He suddenly chuckled, eyes glinting with mirth.

“You look so scared.” He muttered. His soft, velvety voice vibrated on your ribcage. “Do you think I'm gonna hurt you?”

You had to contain a whimper, clenching your jaw. You were pretty sure he meant no harm to you, but he sure looked plenty intimidating at that moment. It took a staggering amount of faith on him for you to steel yourself and not struggle to run.

“No… no. No, I don't think you'd hurt me.”

He nuzzled into your neck, inhaling once again, getting dangerously close to your face. He gave out a pleased hum.

“I feel like I could do this forever. I wonder why.”

Your breath hitched on your throat.

“You… you really don't know?”

He raised his head, lips brushing against your cheek, and blinked owlishly.

“Do you?”

“... No.”

Again, you weren't sure if you had lied or not. You weren't sure if his own way of loving was crooked, or if he was merely obsessed with the idea of you. Either option left you with a pit in your gut. You weren't sure you wanted an answer any time soon.

“I don't know yet either. Some things are still out of my grasp after my coma.” He shook his head. “But I feel like I can make a breakthrough at any moment.” His hands glided from your hands to your shoulders, and he squeezed the tightened muscles. You shuddered despite yourself.

“I can make a breakthrough… especially if I'm near you.” His hands steadily moved from your shoulder to your neck. Jiro's fingers rested on the fast thump of your carotid pulses. You felt your chest tighten with the knowledge that he could press down on them and have you at his mercy in mere seconds. You tried to focus on the way his lips moved, silently counting the heartbeats.

“120 bpm. That's very high.” He said seriously after a whole minute, shuffling closer.

“You do appear to need my careful vigilance as you seem awfully distressed.” Jiro was fully oblivious to the irony of his words. “Should I just give you a check up more than once per day? Though I do wonder how I could keep an eye on you whenever you went on missions.”

His face was uncomfortably close and his eyes were locked into your parted lips. You panted, anxiety coursing through your veins and making it hard to breathe.

His breath smelled like the sterile nothingness of unflavored toothpaste and his eyes still glinted with something you couldn't recognize – probably because you had never been under the throes of obsession as he was.

“Jiro you don't … you don't have to do this. You don't have to keep me under your watch.”

His eyes widened and he tilted his head, as if suddenly inspired by your words. As soon as the flicker of satisfaction lightened his eyes, you wanted to punch yourself.

“That's a great idea, actually; to properly keep you under my watch.”

You blanched.

“It'd be great for research on your curse as well.”

“No, you really don't–”

His hands ended up cupping your cheeks, squeezing your face a bit tighter than it was comfortable, successfully silencing you. You didn't know if it was on purpose or if he was just truly unaware of his strength.

“Thank you very much for your suggestion. It seems to be the correct one. I'll find a way to keep you by my side soon.”

You widened your eyes as he calmly decided on your own future with the finality of someone who knew they could pull it off.

What would that future entail, then? A prison at Mortkranken's underground lab, with only Jiro as your warden? How could you convince him of how nonsensical and inhumane his plan sounded? How would he justify your absence to the Academy? How could he ever think he was the owner of the little freedom you had in that campus?

Jiro laid down his head on his arms, on top of your stomach again, his weight keeping you from breathing properly as he kept his ruby-like eyes still fixed on you. You could only stare, wide-eyed and breath shallow.

“You can go back to sleep.” He announced, flatly, with no intentions of leaving your side, anchored onto your body like a flag claiming a territory.

You looked to the ceiling, trying to evade the sharpness of his red irises, heart still hammering inside your ribcage as you thought of his sudden decision.

It seemed there was no way you'd have another comfortable dream ever again.

[sledgeleau]

hm. houlihawk but theyre just dykefag4fagdyke

[kindlythevoid]

Don't you hate it when you read an old WIP (that you made, mind you) and you're reading it and it's good and fun and interesting (even if it could use an edit or two here and there) and then it just--

ENDS!?

Like who decided it could end t h a t early when it CLEARLY had a lot--!?

Oh.

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x

[daybreakrising]

do i watch genshin banner pulling videos on yt to make up for the fact i can't pull on any banners for the forseeable? yes, yes i do. does it make me hope i get as lucky as some of these people when i eventually get to go for c6 wrio, despite the fact he was a stubborn bitch the first time? yes, yes it does.

anyway i decided to go ahead and play the rpg tonight instead of making an excuse, so i'll be lurking while the session's going. i'm hoping some sci-fi horror will improve my mood significantly so i can write when it's over

[radley-writes]

AHHHHH following a fabulous Beta round, a shiny and improved draft of Voxalion Ilsair: Grave of Gods is ready to go to My Lovely Agent (MLA)

Liesmyth is with MLA and almost ready to go on subs

Somnus Sancti: The Sandman School for Insomniac Youth is well underway with 30K+ words of a first draft, and counting! My goal is to get it through a Beta round and off to MLA within the year.

Is this.... progress?????

[neonteeth]

the way i constantly flip back and forth every 2 seconds on whether or not i want to post my da fic once it's finished should be studied

[coulsons-left-arm]

Me, in the summer time: Seasonal depression? That doesn't affect me EVER! 🤠

Me, after daylight savings time ends and 6:50am looks exactly like 4:50pm, and I'm obviously struggling with seasonal depression: Seasonal depression don't do ✨SHIT✨ to me! 🤠

[anachronistic-falsehood]

back in my hometown for the night and a cop came to our door because someone complained that my dad's car is too loud -_-

[generallyjl]

straight up just a rant into the void because this head-up-ass election cycle discourse in the midst of the genocide in Gaza is beyond enraging

truly one of the most socially insufferable things about the Vote Blue Crowd to me (a white u.s.american who doesn't have to deal with the worst of their bullshit directly) is the analogies they come up with to make themselves the morally honorable and politically intelligent actors in these discussions online. like every smug little tiktok skit or snarky post on here about how it's so important to vote for Harris or whatever so clearly and obviously betrays a perspective on the world that i can only comprehend as having your head so far up your ass that you can only see the world through your own asshole.

"listen everybody, we have to choose between buying a Shit Sandwich or buying Literal Poison to have for dinner today. and if we don't choose, the Literal Poison Company is just gunna come force feed the poison to us at night, so we better all suck it up, put on our big girl panties, and buy from the Shit Sandwich Company!" and it's just like.... 1. that's fucked up for yourself as an acceptable (even metaphorical) world to live in and make "choices" in, right? but more importantly, 2. that's just not what's even happening at all. like, let's go with this thoughtless ass premise and add just 1 tiny little dash of inconvenient reality: you can choose to buy a Shit Sandwich and have the money you pay to the Shit Sandwich Company go towards mass murdering people globally, or buy the Literal Poison and have the money you pay to the Literal Poison Company go towards mass murdering people globally. if that's a (still extremely simplified and trivialized) situation in which you pretend like you have a genuine human-centered moral choice to make, idk what to tell you? get a grip and figure out a meaningful way to grapple with what it means to partake in the "democratic" process within the u.s. as a genocidal imperial power and settler-colonial state (and accept that you probably won't be able to come out of that feeling comfortable and good). at the very fucking least, don't come online and pretend like you're The Good Guy everyone should agree with for wisely shoving the Shit Sandwich in your mouth while the Shit Sandwich Company is actively using the money and support you give them to horrifically and brutally murder thousands of people in front of you.

disclaimer: honestly this is not even telling people to *not* vote for the people who have enabled, supported, defended, and driven forward a genocide. you don't even fucking need the permission or approval of commies or anarchists or whoever online to vote for people who are doing genocide. but if you are going to do so, then you simply must at least accept that 1. the people impacted by these genociders might fucking hate you forever (and if you feel sad about that then that's something you gotta work through yourself), 2. your choice to vote for the genocider who will probably treat you nicer is machiavellian not moral (as @/bloglikeanegyptian put it so succinctly), and 3. some people who have the ability to vote in u.s. elections will simply never be on board with the Shit Sandwich Company while they are carrying out a genocide and will prioritize political engagement outside of checking a box next to one of two mass-murderers on part of a ballot. do what you will and simply cope!!

[fridayyy-13th]

oh so tonight's one of those Yearning nights, huh

[heartxdecay]

WHY do bad things always have to happen to me so close together like I did not NEED the combo of an acquaintance I was attempting to befriend blowing up at me and threatening to kill themselves over them deciding I said something I didn't (fuck being autistic why does everyone assume I'm inferring things when I'm actually NOT) and then my stalker who I haven't seen in about a year suddenly decides to show up at my place of work and ask MY BOYFRIEND if I was there (he lied and said I wasn't but I still caught a glimpse of him so he might have seen me) which lead to me finding out he never actually moved like he said he was going to which means realistically he could go right back to stalking and harassing me any time he wants. In the span of like 3 days. And of course right now we're like 3 weeks away from the big traumaversary time from when I left the cult + this is the midst of when I was reporting aforementioned stalker last year so I'm already constantly on high alert anyway. So now I'm constantly struggling just to stay awake let alone work and I already had to drop out of school and lie to my parents about it because the condition of me living here is remaining in school which means since I'm not they're going to kick me out if they know. So I can't NOT go to school AND not work especially because I'm trying to save as much money as possible in order to move out of this stupid hellhole of a "family" home where I'm constantly used as a third parent for my younger siblings. But I'm so tired all the time from stress keeping me awake at all hours and being completely unable to leave fight or flight mode when awake that I can barely find the energy to move, and my work is extremely tiring. I work retail as a supervisor and I have to deal with my coworkers not doing as much of the workload despite all being full time while I'm part time, none of the people I'm in charge of taking me seriously because I'm either younger than them or the same age as them, regular stress that comes with working retail and dealing with customers, and a management change that is leading to us getting a notoriously rude + perfectionist manager who I have personally seen throw an actual tantrum over having to do his JOB. Which means I can't afford to be tired and grumpy because I have to remain professional and productive. But every time something slightly off happens I want to burst into tears. Nobody there respects me and it's hard enough to handle when I'm NOT dealing with all of this. And of course because God hates me all of this happened when I decided to try to cut back on constantly vaping so after incident #2 I immediately gave up on that and I honestly think I've been going through cartridges FASTER. It's genuinely such a struggle every day to not relapse on self harm or turn to alcoholism and I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Especially because my literal only IRL support system is my boyfriend, because my parents are worth jack shit, my siblings are children, and my only "friend" in person is an objectively terrible human that I only still have around because they were my FP for a really long time and I have a hard time letting go of that relationship (every time I try I end up running back) and I just KNOW that if I even TRY to breach any of this with them they're either going to hit me with an "oof/yikes" and nothing else or spread my PERSONAL shit to everyone they know INCLUDING my extremely abusive ex that they refuse to totally cut contact with because it's "mean". which means I actually have nobody to turn to except the internet friends in my phone who for one aren't online all the time and have lives but two since they're my ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM I cannot keep dumping everything on them constantly or I'll overwhelm them. Not to mention they have also had to deal with the acquaintance I mentioned at the start because they're actually THEIR friend, not mine, so if anything it's an even bigger deal to them. This leaves me with only my boyfriend who I already feel shitty enough about given the raging BPD.

[koushirouizumi]

{R.E.B.O.R.N} - T H E O R I Z I N G ~ P A R A L L E L Worlds + Y A M A M O T O & B Y A K U R A N + G E N K I S H I S Death + TYL!Y A M A M O T O

Inheritance Ceremony!Y A M A M O T O -> T.Y.L

"T H I S Will D e c i d e {It}."

B O N U S:

"{T S U N A}, Why don't you T a k e a l i t t l e B r e a k?"

"THIS will D e c i d e I t..."

"If I can get {t h e m} with {T H I S} IT'S--" "{G A M E} & {S e t}!!" A.K.A. C o n c e p t s For S t o r i e s I'll N e v e r? -- Be Able to W r i t e...?!

{Cap'd by Me} (A S K to Use)

[kindlythevoid]

I did the roughest rough draft of my four-to-five page paper in one long tumblr ramble. Properly formatted, it reaches around five-and-a-half pages without citations. I have never felt so powerful in my life.

[intotheelliwoods]

OOOOH GOSH 🥺 Ok I deserved this gut punch.

Okay silliness aside… I love to think of the raw ANGST of TNV-Leo meeting @intotheelliwoods ‘s Poptart and Sprout.

Have a few little headcanons below but they’re a little Spoopy so proceed with caution

(cw for blood, self-harm, a little bit of body horror and Leo being a smug jerk)

For a darker take on TNV-Leo’s reaction to meeting the 2AL Leo and Future Leo… I’d imagine TNV-Leo would be very, very, very envious.

He’d be absolutely sick with jealousy. All he’d be able to think about was the fact that they got out. They succeeded when he couldn’t. Even Sprout, even though he came from the bad future, he was a leader everyone relied on. He was responsible. Strong. Unlike TNV-Leo.

And if Poptart and Sprout had a violent/terrified reaction to his Krang parasite, TNV-Leo would get great satisfaction out of it. A petty sense of revenge. Much like a sibling getting back at another for something silly. (At least, that’s how TNV Leo would feel about it— he wasn’t totally malicious, but he also doesn’t grasp the scope of just how scary this reveal was.)

And with TNV-Leo’s messed-up-noodle, it would be hard for him to register that they were real. That they were their own selves from another universe rather than a hallucination like he thought they were—

Perhaps it was out of sense of spite. Perhaps it was out of a sense of wanting what they had. Or simply wanting to feel like he belonged too—

But I could see him making a spectacle of cutting off his arm (like in that one chapter). Slicing it off with his Krang tail, cheekily commenting that now they all ‘matched’ 🩵

[hot-chocolate-escapades]

I’ve been awake since 4 am (an hour and a half ago) and I have been sobbing. I wish I wanted to go home but I really don’t. And why do the soft people have to suffer so much? I love being a sensitive person because it is such a gift but also things hurt so much all the time. When will the pain stop? I don’t know.