#is this anything or am i just yelling into the void

[sledgeleau]

hm. houlihawk but theyre just dykefag4fagdyke

[kindlythevoid]

Don't you hate it when you read an old WIP (that you made, mind you) and you're reading it and it's good and fun and interesting (even if it could use an edit or two here and there) and then it just--

ENDS!?

Like who decided it could end t h a t early when it CLEARLY had a lot--!?

Oh.

[foreverxdaydreaming]

x

[daybreakrising]

do i watch genshin banner pulling videos on yt to make up for the fact i can't pull on any banners for the forseeable? yes, yes i do. does it make me hope i get as lucky as some of these people when i eventually get to go for c6 wrio, despite the fact he was a stubborn bitch the first time? yes, yes it does.

anyway i decided to go ahead and play the rpg tonight instead of making an excuse, so i'll be lurking while the session's going. i'm hoping some sci-fi horror will improve my mood significantly so i can write when it's over

[radley-writes]

AHHHHH following a fabulous Beta round, a shiny and improved draft of Voxalion Ilsair: Grave of Gods is ready to go to My Lovely Agent (MLA)

Liesmyth is with MLA and almost ready to go on subs

Somnus Sancti: The Sandman School for Insomniac Youth is well underway with 30K+ words of a first draft, and counting! My goal is to get it through a Beta round and off to MLA within the year.

Is this.... progress?????

[coulsons-left-arm]

Me, in the summer time: Seasonal depression? That doesn't affect me EVER! 🤠

Me, after daylight savings time ends and 6:50am looks exactly like 4:50pm, and I'm obviously struggling with seasonal depression: Seasonal depression don't do ✨SHIT✨ to me! 🤠

[anachronistic-falsehood]

back in my hometown for the night and a cop came to our door because someone complained that my dad's car is too loud -_-

[kideternity]

Slowly trudging along on Frontiers. Have started watching it on x2 speed to speedrun the show. Most of my feelings are pretty /negative right now but I do find the way the digital world to be written to be compelling at least

[local-magpie]

it really did take a fae court romance series written by an Indian woman to have all the mentioned cuisine be Indian foods for me to realize ive never actually read a fantasy setting with the kinds of food i eat and never questioned it

like why is it that the furthest ive ever strayed from ye olde white fantasy foods is that one time i let a player in a d&d game invent pizza in the feywild. why is that. literally i dont even represent the foods i eat in the settings i create

[caricature-of-a-witch]

I swear by the time I have finished this paper there will be claw marks in my brain matter because I have to forcibly drag it towards and hold it to the document in order to get anything done there's a magnetic force repelling the two things and I am so tired

It's gonne be the shittiest least coherent paper in the history of papers and if I end up having tortured my brain for nothing and not passing the course I don't know how I'll deal with that lol

[scionshtola]

i feel like i need to post less personal stuff on here now but also i unfortunately Have To Post

[kindlythevoid]

I did the roughest rough draft of my four-to-five page paper in one long tumblr ramble. Properly formatted, it reaches around five-and-a-half pages without citations. I have never felt so powerful in my life.

[generallyjl]

straight up just a rant into the void because this head-up-ass election cycle discourse in the midst of the genocide in Gaza is beyond enraging

truly one of the most socially insufferable things about the Vote Blue Crowd to me (a white u.s.american who doesn't have to deal with the worst of their bullshit directly) is the analogies they come up with to make themselves the morally honorable and politically intelligent actors in these discussions online. like every smug little tiktok skit or snarky post on here about how it's so important to vote for Harris or whatever so clearly and obviously betrays a perspective on the world that i can only comprehend as having your head so far up your ass that you can only see the world through your own asshole.

"listen everybody, we have to choose between buying a Shit Sandwich or buying Literal Poison to have for dinner today. and if we don't choose, the Literal Poison Company is just gunna come force feed the poison to us at night, so we better all suck it up, put on our big girl panties, and buy from the Shit Sandwich Company!" and it's just like.... 1. that's fucked up for yourself as an acceptable (even metaphorical) world to live in and make "choices" in, right? but more importantly, 2. that's just not what's even happening at all. like, let's go with this thoughtless ass premise and add just 1 tiny little dash of inconvenient reality: you can choose to buy a Shit Sandwich and have the money you pay to the Shit Sandwich Company go towards mass murdering people globally, or buy the Literal Poison and have the money you pay to the Literal Poison Company go towards mass murdering people globally. if that's a (still extremely simplified and trivialized) situation in which you pretend like you have a genuine human-centered moral choice to make, idk what to tell you? get a grip and figure out a meaningful way to grapple with what it means to partake in the "democratic" process within the u.s. as a genocidal imperial power and settler-colonial state (and accept that you probably won't be able to come out of that feeling comfortable and good). at the very fucking least, don't come online and pretend like you're The Good Guy everyone should agree with for wisely shoving the Shit Sandwich in your mouth while the Shit Sandwich Company is actively using the money and support you give them to horrifically and brutally murder thousands of people in front of you.

disclaimer: honestly this is not even telling people to *not* vote for the people who have enabled, supported, defended, and driven forward a genocide. you don't even fucking need the permission or approval of commies or anarchists or whoever online to vote for people who are doing genocide. but if you are going to do so, then you simply must at least accept that 1. the people impacted by these genociders might fucking hate you forever (and if you feel sad about that then that's something you gotta work through yourself), 2. your choice to vote for the genocider who will probably treat you nicer is machiavellian not moral (as @/bloglikeanegyptian put it so succinctly), and 3. some people who have the ability to vote in u.s. elections will simply never be on board with the Shit Sandwich Company while they are carrying out a genocide and will prioritize political engagement outside of checking a box next to one of two mass-murderers on part of a ballot. do what you will and simply cope!!

[fridayyy-13th]

oh so tonight's one of those Yearning nights, huh

[heartxdecay]

WHY do bad things always have to happen to me so close together like I did not NEED the combo of an acquaintance I was attempting to befriend blowing up at me and threatening to kill themselves over them deciding I said something I didn't (fuck being autistic why does everyone assume I'm inferring things when I'm actually NOT) and then my stalker who I haven't seen in about a year suddenly decides to show up at my place of work and ask MY BOYFRIEND if I was there (he lied and said I wasn't but I still caught a glimpse of him so he might have seen me) which lead to me finding out he never actually moved like he said he was going to which means realistically he could go right back to stalking and harassing me any time he wants. In the span of like 3 days. And of course right now we're like 3 weeks away from the big traumaversary time from when I left the cult + this is the midst of when I was reporting aforementioned stalker last year so I'm already constantly on high alert anyway. So now I'm constantly struggling just to stay awake let alone work and I already had to drop out of school and lie to my parents about it because the condition of me living here is remaining in school which means since I'm not they're going to kick me out if they know. So I can't NOT go to school AND not work especially because I'm trying to save as much money as possible in order to move out of this stupid hellhole of a "family" home where I'm constantly used as a third parent for my younger siblings. But I'm so tired all the time from stress keeping me awake at all hours and being completely unable to leave fight or flight mode when awake that I can barely find the energy to move, and my work is extremely tiring. I work retail as a supervisor and I have to deal with my coworkers not doing as much of the workload despite all being full time while I'm part time, none of the people I'm in charge of taking me seriously because I'm either younger than them or the same age as them, regular stress that comes with working retail and dealing with customers, and a management change that is leading to us getting a notoriously rude + perfectionist manager who I have personally seen throw an actual tantrum over having to do his JOB. Which means I can't afford to be tired and grumpy because I have to remain professional and productive. But every time something slightly off happens I want to burst into tears. Nobody there respects me and it's hard enough to handle when I'm NOT dealing with all of this. And of course because God hates me all of this happened when I decided to try to cut back on constantly vaping so after incident #2 I immediately gave up on that and I honestly think I've been going through cartridges FASTER. It's genuinely such a struggle every day to not relapse on self harm or turn to alcoholism and I'm not sure how much longer I can last. Especially because my literal only IRL support system is my boyfriend, because my parents are worth jack shit, my siblings are children, and my only "friend" in person is an objectively terrible human that I only still have around because they were my FP for a really long time and I have a hard time letting go of that relationship (every time I try I end up running back) and I just KNOW that if I even TRY to breach any of this with them they're either going to hit me with an "oof/yikes" and nothing else or spread my PERSONAL shit to everyone they know INCLUDING my extremely abusive ex that they refuse to totally cut contact with because it's "mean". which means I actually have nobody to turn to except the internet friends in my phone who for one aren't online all the time and have lives but two since they're my ONLY SUPPORT SYSTEM I cannot keep dumping everything on them constantly or I'll overwhelm them. Not to mention they have also had to deal with the acquaintance I mentioned at the start because they're actually THEIR friend, not mine, so if anything it's an even bigger deal to them. This leaves me with only my boyfriend who I already feel shitty enough about given the raging BPD.

[anachronistic-falsehood]

UGH ik i said i wasn't gonna post anything else related to wilbr rn but this is just a rant bc i'm frustrated rn. i don't know where to go with dreamstuck at the moment bc cwilb was gonna be a major character, and i know the character isn't the cc but there's sooo much of the cc in the character that i'm not sure i feel comfortable writing cwilbur anymore. which fucking SUCKS bc cwilbur was like one of my favourite fictional characters ever and now he's just been soured by his inherent association with an abusive asshole. i have a lot of prewritten chapters with cwil already and i'll def post those but i'm thinking i'll either adopt dstuck wilb as my own oc and write him the way i want or just find a way to kill him off, idk either one could work but we'll see i'm just at a loss as to where to take the story with this character now