#is this a vent post in public? not really. well i guess it kind of is but moreso i just thought itd be funny to say

[wtfforged]

sorry i let embarrassment dictate what i do what i say my interests how i interact with my interests how i draw how i interact with other people surrounding my interests and my enjoyment of everything Its because i am a creature built from shame and it will happen again and again and again

[evieismol]

Big Bend - Chapter Seven

a/n: finally getting this posted and getting back to working on this series! It's been way too long and I am quite sorry. This chapter's not the longest but I'll have more up soon!

Cw: light swearing maybe? Otherwise n/a

Previous

Zoey's POV

I had almost finished sweeping the gift shop when I heard Penelope hop up on the cash register behind me. I turned to see her sitting on it.

“Finished closing out the registers, so that’s the last of the closing tasks,” she said.

“I’m almost done here,” I responded.

“Hell yeah - we’ll be out of here early tonight,” Penelope said. I replied with a nod, bending down to carefully sweep the last of the dust and dirt into the dust pan.”

“Soooo…” Penelope said, feigning casualness. I immediately knew I wouldn’t like wherever this was going.

“Easton’s pretty nice,” she said.

“Yeah. Seems like he’s bringing a lot of publicity to the park too,” I said neutrally.

“Oh yeah! Angie was saying visitation is up like, a ton! I don’t really know about numbers, but I do know I keep seeing all this stuff about him on social media. I even saw a fan edit of him the other day on my for you page,” Penelope said with a laugh.

I was glad I had turned to dump the dustpan into the trash, so Penelope couldn’t see the gears in my head grinding to a halt as my eyes widened.

“A fan edit?” I asked. I turned back to her, having to make an effort to keep the surprise - and maybe a bit of curiosity - off my face.

“Mmhmm. Apparently a lot of people online think he’s pretty attractive,” Penelope said. I could practically feel her gaze burning into me.

“Oh. That’s funny,” I said. I stuttered slightly, wincing internally.

What is wrong with me? Why am I being so awkward all of a sudden? Like, way more than usual. Ugh, Zoey, just be chill.

“Mmhm. I mean, are they wrong?” She asked. “Like, he is kind of cute, right?”

I looked down, feeling my cheeks start to burn. “I guess. Uh, I have to go put this broom away.”

“I’ll come with you!” Penelope chirped happily.

Fuck.

“So, you do think he’s cute, then?” She asked, trailing a few steps behind me as I went to set the broom back in the storage closet.

“I-uh-I don’t know. He’s sweet and uh, I guess kind of cute. I mean, it’s not like I personally think he’s really cute or attractive or anything. Just that I can get why someone else would. In an objective way,” I said, hoping she’d drop it before I managed to entirely put my foot in my mouth. It might have been too late for that.

“Right,” she said, drawing the word out in a way that suggested she wasn’t convinced. “So, like, you don’t like him, then?”

“What? No! Of course not! I mean, I like him as a person,” I stammered.

“Hm. If you say so,” she said.

“I don’t! And even if I did, which I don’t, I have absolutely no interest in dating ever again. It hasn’t exactly worked out great for me in the past, so, can we just drop it?” I felt an edge creeping into my tone on the last part, the ending question coming out much more sharply than I’d intended. Penelope seemed to pick up on the change, nodding quickly.

“Yeah, of course. Sorry if I was pushing, I just thought-y’know, nevermind,” she said. “We should go clock out, probably.”

I sighed. “Sorry. It’s just-I was in a really bad relationship before coming here. Like, really bad. So romance is kind of the last thing I’m interested in right now.” Really bad still felt like an understatement, but I couldn’t bring myself to use any more descriptive words. I could already feel my stomach turning just referencing the past.

“It’s cool, I should have dropped it earlier. I get it,” Penelope said. “I don’t want to like, assume anything about your last relationship, but if you ever want to talk or vent or anything, I’m here.” She gave me a kind smile, one that gave a rare sense of genuine care instead of surface level concern or pity.

“Thanks,” I said, a soft smile of my own forming on my lips. “I appreciate it.” I took a breath. “Well, what do you say we get out of here?”

Next

[ccrisntok]

Heathers au part 2 💀

Okay, off the bat, this one is worse. this post is much sadder than the first one.

TW// Blood, Death, Corpses, Suicidal thoughts/actions, Guns, Homophobia, Violence, Eating Disorders (Again, basically anything that happens in Heathers: The Musical.)

Also, spoilers for Heathers, and DRDT!!!

As I said, this post is a bit more serious than the first one. You need to read the first part to really understand this one btw. sorry. I'm too lazy to explain things again hdafkjlds

This post will have the sad parts of the au, since it's basically a story run-down, but imma still try and keep it a little silly at least.

But there will be a part 3, since I literally can't post all of the images (I have over 30.) And part three will be a lot more light-hearted (just fun doodles, and some cut images from this post), so if this ones too intense, just wait for that one <3 or. dont. thats cool too. Btw I'm gonna re-use a few drawings from the last post for story progression <3

Again, credit to @another-danganronpa-fan for the original au concept!

(First off, a better rendition of the Heathers + Xander. I didn't make any other full body refs because I got lazy. Anyway, I wanted to talk about these guys a lil more in this post. Character relationships and whatever.)

I feel like the Heathers as a unit all fucking hate each other. David guilt trips Arei into staying and threatens to reveal that shes queer if she argues with him, Arei makes fun of him for having severe mental health issues, and Arturo belittles both Arei and David, constantly commenting on their appearances, which he considers "Barely acceptable", basically its a cesspool of toxicity.

Xander, your average, emotional totally not British boy, doesn't really see any of this and thinks the Heathers have it so easy, and even idolizes them a little, especially David. Or rather, whatever persona David gives off to others.

This leads to him being recruited, in combo with his forgery skills, and his British accent. Cuz, yk, British accents are hot to some people.

So Xandy gets to be an honorary Heather. This is fine for like, 5 minutes before he is immediately asked to humiliate the shit out of Eden, which he does, begrudgingly. He does this by forging a note to Eden from her crush, Arei, inviting her to a party Ace was hosting that night. Arei doesn't know about this plan until it happens.

at some point between this and the party, Xander sees Teruko beat the ever-loving shit out of Levi and Ace, and he's like "oh wow 😳", which is the first time he ever notices her.

As the party starts, Xander starts getting drunk as hell, and during so, makes some kind of jab at Ace in relation to his ED (I couldn't really find a way to incorporate Heather Duke's bulimia into David, so, sorry Ace.) This leads to Ace fucking hating him with a passion.

this does not end well btw

Xander parties rlly hard, and that ends up escalating to him accidentally publically outing Eden at the party (while wasted & high), which leads to Eden being humiliated by the partygoers. Arei, who does actually like Eden as well, obviously doesn't out herself and helps in Eden's humiliation for the sake of self-preservation.

Eden's like "wha" bc she still thinks the note was real, and is super confused and hurt by Arei's reaction.

I don't believe the two would be childhood friends, like cannon Heathers, I feel like they would just. Like each other. Steal glances occasionally, wave, and smile. Stuff like that from someone like Arei would mean something, at least to Eden. And seeing what she thought was so clear shatter would hurt her a lot.

After this, Xander fucks off because him and the Heathers get in a huge fight, and he finds Teruko like. In the bathroom or something hiding from the party. I didn't really want to make him break into her house so. I didn't :) they uh. hold hands or something, and then they fall in love wooooahhhh whoda guessed

So Xander vents about his imminent death bc Art's mad at him, and Terukos like, "yeah... lets go apologize....." (she does not want to apologize). so they pull up and Xander's like "I'm sowwy Art i wont do it again" or something and then uh.

(why is the family guy death pose so hard to draw) Art drinks some Kool-aid or something that Teruko mixed with drain cleaner and dies.

Xanders like, "NOOOO WAHT THE FUCK" and Teruko, who obviously wanted him to die, is like "oh. we need to cover this up as a suicide". They do just that, and in the wake of his death, Arturo is seen as even more of an icon than he was in life, since the fake note portrayed him as an actually kind, tortured soul.

Arturo's ghost haunts Xander from this point on, basically just calling him stupid the whole time.

so after this, David and Arei are like, "Aye uh. Art's dead. You wanna hang out in the woods with us and Levi and Ace?" And Xander, desperately trying to not seem suspicious, says yes. Arei didn't really want to do this, but David forced her, and brought tons of alcohol with the intention of getting Levi and Ace drunk so they would fight and it'd be funny. He hasn't taken up Art's spot yet, so he's still kinda chill.

they. do fight, and Xander's kinda like "oop", but David's hoping it gets violent, for funnies.

it gets kinda personal..

Then it gets REALLY personal 💀

And Levi ends up beating the shit out of Ace.

Now, not unlike canon, I don't know what circumstances got Levi disowned by his parents. I feel like in this au, he probably moved in with Ace and his folks, which would give him another reason to put up with Ace's shit. Out of literal necessity. And like, they are probably friends to an extent.

Anyway, after this, rumors spread that Xander was actually the one who beat the fuck out of Ace, unprovoked. Since Ace is like 3'2 or some shit, people think Xander just beat him up bc he was an easy target without Levi around or something.

This happens because of a combo of Ace not really remembering what happened, his spite towards Xander, Levi lying about it, and David agreeing with the story (again, for his own amusement.) Arei doesn't really care enough to speak out, and Xander's reputation goes from already dead, to decomposed.

He vents to Teruko about this, cuz that went soo well last time, who makes up a plan. She tells him to tell Ace and Levi that he really wanted to fight them, and she would bring a "fake" gun to scare them with. (btw shirtless levi just to warn you) (and a dead body. and blood.) (prob shoulda put those first)

This goes about how you would expect (can you tell I gave a bit more of a shit about these guy's deaths than I did Art's....sorry homie). Instead of doing what Kurt cannonically does (hauling ass in the opposite direction), Levi actually tries to help Ace, with no luck.

I made a longer version of this but Im trynna stay in the image limit so. Anyway, Teruko is like "look what you diiidd Levi he trusted what you said and now he's dead! Ok bye" and then shoots Levi too.

Xander is losing his fucking mind, and really upset, obviously. But Teruko is like "I did it because I love you...." and manipulates him into really believing they did somewhat the right thing, because Ace and Levi were bullies, and ruining ppls lives.

They frame Levi and Ace's deaths as a double suicide. Teruko convinces Xander to portray Levi and Ace as gay lovers who, "killed themselves to escape an unaccepting world", since they contributed to Eden's harassment over her sexuality.

This leads to Ms. Hu publicly speaking up in support of queerness, which leads to the harassment following Eden, and the fear holding Arei back to subside a little, as the student body is moved by Levi and Ace's super real emotional romance.

Ace and Levi's ghosts join Arturo in haunting Xandy, and Xander regrets like. Every choice he's ever made.

Xander and Teruko's relationship is kinda deteriorating, and David decides to take officially take the mantle in the aftermath of Arturo, Levi, and Ace's deaths.

He gets kinda goofy, and starts harassing Arei more severely. This takes a head at an assembly Ms. Hu throws for teenage mental health, where she encourages the kids to vent their frustrations and grievances, which would "set them free."

Arei finally takes the opportunity, and confesses about her turbulent home life, David and Arturo's harassment, and that she struggles with suicidal thoughts. David takes this as a personal attack on his reputation since she mentioned him, and berates her, until she decides to try and end her own life in the school bathroom.

Xander stops her, and tells David to fuck off.

This ends with Arei and Xander becoming better friends, and they start to bond over their shared care for Eden. This reminds Xander how bad he fucked up with his best friend, and reminds Arei that she really does care a lot about Eden, even if she wishes she didn't.

Speaking of Eden, after everything that had happened, the deaths, the harassment, and what she thinks is the loss of the two most important people in her life (Xander and Arei), she also decides to take her own life, Ace and Levi's suicides nailing it into her head that she didn't belong. She wanted to escape to a world that wouldn't judge her, like Martha, and death was the only way she felt she could do that.

She jumps off of a bridge, but ends up surviving.

Xander, obviously fucking horrified, rushes to her side. After seeing how hurt she was, he kinda realizes how serious death is.

He killed people, all because Teruko felt they needed to. He realizes his relationship is toxic (only took a kill count of 3), and decides he can't do it anymore.

He ends things with Teruko, and goes home. He figures this is the end of it, but the ghosts haunting him tell him that Teruko was coming back, and she was mad. Oh no!

After Teruko breaks into his house, Xander locks himself in his closet and listens to her mad ramblings.

She says she's going to bomb the school, killing everyone inside, and she wants to do it with him. The whole school was basically in the building for a pep-rally, and she wanted to frame it as a school-wide suicide pact, with a signed "suicide note", a fake petition she'd passed around the school during the mental health assembly.

Xander, out of options, ties himself to the ceiling and pretends as if he has hung himself, which he hopes will stop Teruko's rampage.

Instead, Teruko decides even if Xander was dead, she was going to kill everyone anyway.

After Teruko leaves, Xander chases after her, grabbing a kitchen knife as protection, with the intention of killing Teruko, and probably himself, for the sake of the school.

After realizing Xander is alive, Teruko doesn't stop her plan. She's even more dedicated to it, and Xander is dedicated to stopping her.

The two physically fight for the bomb, and in the scuffle, Xander ends up stabbing Teruko in the stomach. He takes the bomb, and begins to leave with it, with the intention of using his body as a shield so that the school wouldn't be damaged if he ran out of time.

Teruko stops him, and in one more act of weird, toxic, love takes the bomb from him, and says she will blow up herself, and only herself.

Xander lets her take the bomb, and Teruko walks out to the front of the school. Xander watches as she lets it go off, killing her instantly, and tells her to say hello to God, having faith that maybe her death could grant her forgiveness, if there was a higher power out there to forgive her at all.

........

annnnndddddd I'll draw the aftermath in part three!

Holy fucking shit, I HAVE BEEN TYPING THIS UP FOR LIKE 5 HOURSS AAHH

I'm proud of it, though! There are quite a few images I had to cut, since Tumblr has an image limit and I made way too much, but that's what part three is for, in combo with a little of the aftermath! I just didn't want to split up the story into two parts, since I wanted it to flow well. I hope I managed to do just that.

Hope you enjoyed this fucking roller coaster, and I hope to see you back again for the DRDT Heathers finale! Which... wont be that epic, or anything, but hopefully fun!

[musette22]

Minnie I've fully begun to believe in the concept of misery loves company. So many of the people who are being horrible about Chris are just being so because they are miserable and want to spread it around and Chris is the device they are using to do so.

Whether it's his job, the his interviews his social media presence...nothing he does will ever be good enough for these people. It's the same for Sebastian but because Chris is a bit more well known than Sebastian in the general public you see more of it with him. And so many people are now using Sebastian as a way to compare Chris and when you look at their post history you'll see that they're not even seb fans because they didn't know anything about him before last year. They just want to be miserable about Chris and Seb was a convenient stick to hit him with. Majority of Seb fans that I've seen have pushed back on that narrative because we know that those two are friends and will support one another.

I don't know if anyone said makes any sense or not...I just wanted to vent a bit because this has been building the last few months and your blog has always been a safe space for me.

Hi sweetie 💙 Yeah, that does seem to be the case, doesn't it? I have to say, I have absolutely no clue why anyone would want to spread more misery, especially when there are more things to be miserable about right now than ever. Willfully taking out your own misery on others, whether it's people close to you or people you've never even met, including celebrities, is shameful behaviour as far as I'm concerned. Why not look for ways to make yourself and others feel less miserable instead? Try and find ways to make a positive difference, whether it's through activism or a simple act of kindness or by spreading joy through creativity or community.

Anyway. I don't get it, and I hopefully never will, but yeah, the truth is that a lot of people seem to want to hate on Chris for some reason, and I think that's really sad. There are plenty of people out there so much more deserving of your ire. Chris is a good guy, just quietly living his life and doing his job - hardly a capital sin, if you ask me. I'm glad to hear the majority of real Seb fans are pushing back against that ridiculous tendency of comparing the two of them to paint Chris in a negative light. I guess that's all we can do, in addition to spreading the Chris love, and using that block button the way it was intended!

I blocked a whole bunch of people yesterday for being unnecessarily mean towards Chris in the notes on one of my own posts, which is just absolutely incomprehensible behaviour to me. If you have to be mean, go do it on your own posts, jesus hrist. Talking shit about Chris is a surefire way to get yourself blocked by me, it ticks me off so bad.

Anyway, it's good to hear that my blog is a safe space for you, honey! I'll definitely make sure to keep it that way 💙 Sending you a big hug!

[vholecekart]

Processing some things

Well the election happened, for what it was worth. I’m still processing the full ramifications of what it means for the future. I’m definitely processing it more than probably anyone who voted for it…the consequences of this election are already coming swift…especially to the chucklefucks who clearly did not understand how tariffs work and now its going to cost a lot of them their Christmas bonuses this year (I’m absolutely failing to muster sympathy for them, and audibly cackled to find that #TrumpRuinsChristmas was already a suggested hashtag on facebook.)

In the midst of all the dumbfucks who unwittingly voted against their own interests on multiple fronts because they had tunnel vision and were marks for misdirection, it feels like a very weird time to be making, marketing, and selling artwork.

I’m certainly not disappearing anywhere, unless things get really bad and I end up on some kind of hit list for D-list artists and political dissenters, but it definitely feels like fixing the drapes while the room is on fire.

This is fine.

Except that it isn’t. I’m not going to pretend like we’re not in dangerously uncharted waters right now. It seems like the impossible has become possible, and every safeguard along the way failed.

I’m not going to give anyone the benefit of a full public meltdown, however. I will simply keep making my silly little projects and my silly little posts, regardless of whether anyone buys them or not. Chet Zar has said before that “dark times call for dark art”, and I think in the coming years the cathartic and emotional value of such work will become increasingly necessary. Not just for the artists as a venting mechanism, but also for the viewers who need the emotional resonance of an image that encapsulates what they might be going through at the moment, and will invariably comment “mood” under.

I will keep creating, journaling, taking notes, and moving accordingly. I’ve begun quietly cutting people out of my circles whom I have found to be anathema to things that I value, and as of last night I have completely closed up my presence on Twitter. It was just time.

So I guess where we go from here is to go about life as best we can, resist where we are able, and try to help those close to us navigate these waters as safely as possible. I’m not going to waste time with those whose own stupidity have invited misfortune upon themselves. I’m already something of a misfit in my own family, so there were not many ties to sever there as it was.

For the moment, you can still find me posting on the usual outlets, minus Twitter now (I’ll never call it “X”), and I’ll keep posting my bullshit and publicly making fun of NFT scammers trying to slip into my DMs.

I hope to see all of you on the other side of this shitshow.

Stay safe.

[aita-irl]

sent this into the other aita but the blog went on hiatus before it was posted so.

wibta for making a fake account to lurk in a discord server i used to be part of?

context: i was in a small discord server for upwards of a year. i was one of the first few there, kind of a central member of the server (i don’t mean this in a self centered way, like i’m not saying everyone loved me. i just mean i was one of the few core/most active members. there was a little core community of maybe 5 or 10 people that i was part of.) i considered many ppl there my friends, the mods included, but to be clear this wasn’t a friends server and the invite link is in public tumblr posts (it was based around a shared interest.)

well, long story short, the mods deliberately attempted to push me + a friend out of the server because they disliked us (warning us for things that weren’t against the rules, lying to us about phrasing of previous warning messages we had screenshots of, etc. keeping this vague in case any of them is aware of this blog but truly 99% of it was not real issues where we did anything wrong and we gracefully accepted it every time, even when undeserved.) we got sick of this eventually and left (so they got what they wanted i guess), no drama in the server, no public goodbye message, most we did on discord was dm a mod we both considered our friend goodbye. we did both make a handful of vent posts about the situation on tumblr, none of which had the actual name of the server or the mods’ names apart from one vent post where i sarcastically told people not to join it in the tags, using an abbreviated version of the name only other server members would recognize. maybe five people from the server followed the two of us collectively on tumblr. really not something that would impact the main server community.

the mods made an announcement about this essentially calling us both liars and me dangerous/a threat to the server. fast forward to now maybe a month or two later. i do miss a lot of people in the server quite a bit and considered myself good friends with some of them but. i did think the mods were my friends too. so atp im not sure if they felt the same way.

the actual judgeable part: lately i’ve been considering the idea of making a fake account to join the server, make a fake intro (part of the verification process or i wouldn’t even do this) and send literally no other messages, then search my name to see if anything was said about me/try to figure out if they still consider me a friend, and leave. i wouldn’t befriend them under false pretenses using this account or anything obviously, just lurk for a bit and see what they’ve said about me. but it does kind of feel like i would be crossing a boundary by doing this? so. aita.

[itsadragonaesthetic]

Just a little vent post about School of Dragons.

I have 345+ hours in this game. That is more than WolfQuest. That's almost as much as Jurassic World Evolution. Those kinds of hours are earned when you feel like you've lived a portion of your life in this game. Entire sections of my life were dedicated to it. I feel like a part of me lives in it. With the loss of the game, I'm scared I'm going to lose that part. Even if I don't open the game up every single day sometimes, it's like it's been stitched into the fabric of my being. I'm unsure what to do without it. Without this game, I just feel like another guy with a bunch of HTTYD OCs.

I've really given the developers a lot of shit over the years and honestly, for good reason. I think the game was run pretty bad. I think time and effort were put into things that they shouldn't have put in. Regardless, I think there were people who really cared about that game and tried their hardest to make it a great game. I'm eternally grateful for everyone who made the game as great as it could be.

I wish they would have given me more time to prepare. I wish this wasn't so sudden. I wish they would just put all their funds into keeping their copyright agreement and just quit most development. Keep their game, quit making new stuff, and just update it with things that keep the game running smoothly. I don't know the gravity of their situation though.

I know it sounds so stupid to be so heartbroken over a kid's game that people seem to think sucks. I don't really care. This game was my life, and it still kind of is. It's a part of me that I don't want to lose. I have so many memories and now I'm left with the mortifying ordeal of trying to archive everything I remember from every single adventure I went on. I never had to care about this in the past. It was always right there in the game for me to visit again. And now it won't be. My characters will not just be in their own world in my computer anymore. Now it's like they won't exist without my prompting through art or roleplaying.

I guess that's a comfort though. Lots of people are probably losing their dragons and characters like... for good. They don't have the resources and skill that I have to keep their characters alive. At least I'm an artist and a writer with friends I can roleplay my characters with so I can go on new adventures without School of Dragons. I'll never see my little friends in my game again. I'll never feel the thrill of accomplishment when I race my dragons again. That sense of pride I felt when I beat people with Virgilio, my monstrous nightmare, a dragon no one expects to win any race. All because I was so good at the game and I prided myself in my ability to fly any dragon. This is the death of... a lot of that for me. But they're not gone. I'll see them again in my games and my art. Just like my other characters, they'll always be alive as long as I remember them.

I'll be working on this Discord server for School of Dragons players as well as HTTYD fans. If I have to be upset about this, I at least don't want to do it alone. Please message me if you would like an invite. I won't post the link publically simply because I don't want any randos who hate me for my light fury opinions or something. If I can even get 5 people on this server, I'll call it an accomplishment.

[terraliensvent]

You seem like a really non-biased and heartfelt person running this blog. I appreciate your honesty with every reply, it’s very commendable.

My time in the terra server has been confusing to say the least. I thoroughly enjoy it, and yet at least once a day something that strikes as off putting will happen. I am not one to vent, nor post on blogs like this, but, with the trial mods out there’s something on my mind that I just can no longer hold within. I am beyond, overly uncomfortable with Xiao being a trial mod.

This make strike weirdly, but I don’t seem them as a face, nor representative of how Terras should be. They are cold, unemotional, biased, and overall picky. They ignore you when they feel like it (and, apologies if I am misgendering, I do not know their pronouns at the time), and only talk to their friends; the staff, or anyone with “good art”.

It sucks? Because, I wanted to be their friend and they ultimately shoved me away. Maybe I am a little petty, but I just do not find their presence as a trial mod welcoming. It honestly makes me feel a little, no, very afraid to talk.

So, I’d like to know your opinion? On Xiao? What should I do? Can I even do anything??

i really appreciate the kind words anon, i try my best to give my genuine viewpoints, as i think a lot of owners of blogs like these can be too disconnected from their topic and it feels out of touch imo

on to the topic at hamd

i dont interact much in the server on a personal level anymore after the whole blowout with architechals, but what i will say is that i am never really too fond of the picks for staff

i wanna use bear and pokii as an example, since during that situation in the callout thread, they were incredibly heinous toward former mod milo (who i actually really liked, they were super down to earth and friendly), and that combined with the behavior exhibited by bear toward ponyzilla, like how can you clearly copy a design you offered on in the past and act like theres no similarity whatsoever

anyways

i dont know much about xiao (besides the fact i have them blocked lol, i guess they annoyed me at some point) but if your character assessment is true to your experience then i think thats pretty on par with how terra staff is in general. cliquey, disconnected, and cold unless youre someone they want to be associated with for clout.

for you specifically anon, id say keep talking how you want to, xiao seems like a person who really isnt the best to be friends with in your case, and if you find yourself being cut off or talked over or pushed aside by them in the public chat, i would politely but sternly point it out. people really love to ignore stuff like that in terras because you arent one of the elite staff members who everyone wants to talk to, but you deserve respect as well.

so in short, maybe stop trying to be friends with xiao and focus more on the friendships youre already cultivating, and dont be afraid to stick up for yourself if you feel yourself being pushed away from public spaces. terras has a lot of mob mentality and often will let things slide in fear of rocking the boat. if you feel yourself being unwelcomed by a member of staff, stand your ground and collect screenshots. if you get brushed aside, it just helps you build more of a case in the event that it becomes too overwhelming to even be in the same spaces as them

[simcardiac-arrested]

I can't tell you like, the level of maturity posting abt it is (fellow autistic ass) but like?? Do you have to check that? Esp with something that has been going on for a while and can be frustrating? This is your blog man you're allowed to ramble n vent abt these things and bring some light to them if that's what you wanna do :0 I'd be annoyed if not frustrated a lil in your place I think

i suppose …. i just don’t really know because i didn’t want to make it like this Whole Deal, i usually would privately message someone with stuff liek this, but u know …. maybe it is for the better for it to be a sort of public announcement/request. idk. i just know i usually feel kind of weird when people use their blog to vent, but like yeah at the end of the day it’s their blog and they can do whatever. i guess. and i don’t know if i was like. venting or something. because i was just trying to start a discussion really UEHEUEJEGSJSH i guess maybe i did end up sounding a bit mad about it because it wasn’t a one-time thing. and i just generally don’t want my followers and friends to feel bad bc of some Situation(tm) but oh well. like i said you’re right. it’s my blog and my ocs and i Will force you to be normal about them

[alkeneater]

hey man, PLEASE don't take this the wrong way, but I would really be careful sharing certain stuff on the internet (like your nightmare, which i'm very sorry you had it)

I'm not saying that to be rude or restrictive. its your account, by all means. but i'm saying that it's especially risky to be vulnerable like that online, since it's a public account. Not everyone had great intentions, sadly. and not to mention (god fucking forbid) that if you're especially not-careful, you may get found via white pages or stuff like that.

by all means, don't keep it inside. use throwaway accounts, diaries, anything you need if you think it'll help. but i cannot stress, your identity is very valuable and of the utmost importance. anonymity on the internet only goes so far and ppl love to abuse that kind of power, cuz they think they can hide behind a screen and a username to say or do vile things.

the point is, please be careful with what your sharing. please be careful online. please please please. be kind, but be very vigilant and private, it will be your superpower.

nice advice actually... Oh. No, seriously, thanks, man. Whoever you are.

Actually, i have a private group online where i share stuff like that, but sometimes I'm not careful enough and share my thoughts on the first app that i opened at current moment.

Honestly, i have no idea what others might do with such info like nightmares and vents...

I'll delete the nightmare post but umm... No, seriously, if you're telling me to be more careful, i will be then. Online privacy is pretty important, everyone knows that.

🤔 I guess it's just about my mentality, i never got in trouble for sharing stuff like that, it's not like my phone number, credit card or address.

Well... Okay then... This ask kinda made me very stressed, now i do feel a little bit scared. Okay. I'll do something to make myself feel safer. Okay... Heh.

[daebors]

cw: venting a little at the start

it's currently 11:32 and I'm feeling super anxious. I'm writing on here because doing something on tumblr usually helps to distract me when I'm nervous. I'm not nervous about anything in particular I don't think. I have generalised anxiety disorder (which truthfully isn't diagnosed, but there's not point of getting one, I know what it is and I can't be bothered to pay or something like that)

I need to read a book named how to stop worrying and start living. it's pretty old I think, but I was invertedly recommended it. I'm wondering if I should get the book or the audiotape. I mostly read in public—wouldn't reading a book like that in front of people be embarrassing?

well I guess that's what the book is about. I need to wash my hair but it's too late to do that now. I'll try to remember in the morning but I always forget these kind of things.

I'd usually say something like this to a hotline or something, but most of them open 24/7 are voice call only which me, being mute, cannot handle lmao. the webchat ones are usually only open until 12 and they always have the worst queues. one time I waited for two hours, but by the time I was at the front of the queue, I could only have a five minute section as it was too close to midnight.

I made an ao3 account though! I think I'll write stardew valley fanfiction. I've already written a bit of a choose your own adventure fanfic, but I'm not sure if I'll showcase it on here. it wouldn't be that difficult to find once it's published though haha.

I sent in my cringey kids' youtube channel to a youtuber I watch often. I hope he doesn't laugh at it or is at least nice about it if he sees and doesn't judge me too harshly. I'm pretty certain he reads my instagram dms to him... I suggested one video and he ended up making a video using that a week later and then back in august I suggested he watched this show for a video and he uploaded an hour long video watching that show only a week ago.

I hope I am making some sort of impact on his life, even if it's small. I started watching him in 2014 when we were both 16. I can't help but think what could have happened if I tried to contact him sooner when he had a smaller audience and was more prone to messaging back. I think we would have been friends, maybe, or maybe that's wistful thinking or whatever they say...

I used to write in my diary everyday. I haven't for ages now as I just kept forgetting and forgetting. I've decided to not be so hard on myself when I do forget and only do it when I really want to. when I'm away from my pc and unable to blog straight away, maybe I'll write it down in my diary to send out later? or maybe that's stupid and I should just write it on my phone so I can copy paste it.

I was watching an analysis of penny from sdv earlier. I didn't watch until the end as it got to her 10 heart scene and marriage stuff which I haven't played through before, but so far I found it super interesting. I love penny. I love all the bachelors and bachelorettes in their own special way, to be honest. I like to think that I see the best in people... or at least fictional characters.

I'm too tired to continue so here's the end of this looong text post. I might post again tomorrow, or next year, who knows.

thanks for reading :) if you want to see more of my life updates feel free to follow me

[the-last-teabender]

And because it absolutely needs to be said because Piss Poor Reading Comprehension On This Site:

"You will be happier if you learn to mitigate your discomfort" is not the same as "You are wrong for feeling uncomfortable about things and should be okay with everything."

Let me give you a real world example:

There is a certain thing (and I will not be entertaining questions/guesses on what that thing is for reasons that will become clear) that is wildly popular, especially in one of my specific hobbies. I personally can't stand it. Not just for personal taste reasons (though that's part of it and also valid), but because someone who really hurt me in the past was a massive fan of said thing. Like such a fan that your casual disinterest in the thing was viewed as an attack on them. And their attempt to force me into being a fan of the thing both depressed me (because they threw me into the most depressing adjacent arm of the thing) and nearly ruined the aforementioned hobby for me.

I can't stand the thing. Hearing about the thing makes my skin crawl and reminds me of all the many problems I've dealt with in this hobby and with this person.

However, some very good and caring friends of mine, as well as a shit-ton of people in the world, are big fans of the thing. It is pretty inescapable. And while it makes me uncomfortable to be exposed to it, it seems to make a lot of other people - including friends of mine - very happy.

They did not go through what I went through. They do not have my life experiences. Some of those friends do know what's up, as I have gently explained why I do not want to watch thing with them, and they've been very kind about not bringing it up or strong-arming me into trying to enjoy it.

But the random people I meet? The posts that float by on social media? The inescapable exposure I will get to the thing that makes me unhappy simply by being in this hobby? Not a lot I can do about those things unless I want to make my past everyone's business, have a nervous breakdown in public, or leave the hobby. The Secret Fourth Thing is learning to desensitize myself to the thing so I can nod and smile when people bring it up, and gently move on or change the subject in a way that isn't rude to them or overly exposing for me. And then, if it's bugging me later, I can go to my bestie who also dislikes the thing (albeit with fewer bad attached memories) and vent to them about it.

Nowhere in this story am I wrong for how I feel about the thing. Nowhere in this story am I forced to change my feeling about the thing. However, I know that I survived an awkward conversation with a friend of a friend because I've become able to nod, smile, and change the subject. (This is also why I'm not entertaining questions on what the thing is. Because this is mine to deal with.)

I mean I think people should curate their own fandom experience and whatnot and it's perfectly fair to just avoid things one is uncomfortable with...

That being said. From personal experience? Immunizing myself to all my discomforts by browsing through pixiv and kink memes with raised eyebrows while searching for things I am interested in back when tagging was non-existent has really made my fandom experience much more pleasant nowadays.

I have preferences, for sure. But I have no fear. I have no cringe. The filthiest, grossest fanwork holds no powers over me. I am a god.

Like honestly dl;dr and block on sight is respectable and all but I genuinely think everyone could just benefit from purposefully exposing yourself to your nOTP and non-triggering squicks sometimes? (And obviously don't go bother the creators for it.) If only so that it makes it easier/safer to search for content you like without living in fear of accidentally glimpsing something you hate and having that ruin your day.

[troidatoi]

Day 1 - 8/23/2023

Hi Tumblr!

I had one of you in high school but deleted it after college. I decided to make another just so I have a place to rant and vent about things that make me sad or angry or just things in general. I do journal but I'd like to use it for more positive things and manifestations or whatever. I turned on all the privacy settings so hopefully no one finds this. lmfao. I know all posts are public but I don't really know anyone in my life that has Tumblr anymore. I kind of just needed a place to fucking vent or rant. Today's Kobe's birthday so I'm trying not to be so angry today. (lol, sorry Kobe.) Okay so here goes. I just needed a way to let out my frustrations and so I was like why not Tumblr? I'd mainly be talking about my health and probably my frustrations with life in general.

Growing up, I've always been a big ass kid and you can tell and it showed in my pictures. Been bullied a lot for it from everybody including family. Had a kid threw a rock at me when I was little and said he hated fat people. My parents took me to a weight loss doctor where I cried my eyes out. I guess I always sought food out for comfort. I'm also an only child. I've always wanted to try and better my health but didn't know how, didn't really have the resources or money, and I was constantly surrounded by food. I kind of wish my parents had let me figure out how to do it on my own. I turned into this person with low self esteem, low confidence, hating what I looked like everyday, hanging out with my skinny friends back then was torture for me because I was constantly comparing myself to them (I know they loved me, wished I loved myself as much as they loved me). I hated that I fixated on the way I looked but hey that's what society has programmed us to do. It's easy to be like love yourself blah blah when you're not in the position of constant self hatred. I've tried calorie counting, diets, seeing a nutritionist (which helped a little only to later realized that it wasn't sustainable for me and I developed an eating disorder.) Although I'm pretty sure I've had an eating disorder ever since I was little and now I feel like shit every time I eat food or get scared to eat. I think the only person who I really saw results with and was sustainable was my personal trainer. (Shoutout Michael!) Hopefully, I can come back once I find a job again. (Can someone please fawking hire me already?)

So yeah going on a tangent, apologies! I started running when lockdown hit and I loved it but I also developed hammer toes and it hurt so much to walk and wear shoes. I went to a podiatrist and they were like get orthopedics and I was like okay but they were so expensive even with health insurance and I'm like okay well fuck this so I got surgery and I was so fucking miserable. lmao. I couldn't do anything and didn't leave my bad. It hurt so much to eat that I lost so much weight and I got so sad like crying for days. I realized I needed help if I didn't want k*ll myself so I called the hotline at midnight and it was nice actually. I've heard bad stories but thankfully the person I talked to listened to what I had to say and he brought up the Dodgers. lmao. And he was like maybe I'll see you at a Dodgers' game. I hit up a therapist the next day, a week later hit up a psychiatrist and was prescribed sertraline. (An antidepressant). The weight loss was crazy because I've never been that thin and I wasn't sure how to feel because it was deadass depression weight loss. I was happy with the weight loss but sad about how I lost it. I had so much loose skin that I also decided to do a tummy tuck, skin removal and thigh lift surgery and the recovery was such a pain in the ass but I felt so good and clothes actually fit. I should have probably waited till the next year because I took so much antibiotics that I found out I have leaky gut so I have to stay away from gluten, diary and processed sugar for the time being. (Hopefully cause my gawd I miss eating bread.) I have so much bloating, inflammation, joint pain, brain fog, acne breakouts, tingling sensations, pain on my sides and the list can go on. I went to my primary care doctors and a neurologist and they didn't really help much. Finally went to a holistic doctor and she figured out what was wrong with me and I know it's going to take awhile for everything to heal but I just want to stop feeling like this. (I also had surgery in 2013 to get an ovarian cyst removed and I didn't know I had it because everyone called me fat and they told me the cyst was making me bloated as shit.) I'm trying not to be resentful and look at the past but it's hard because there's so much trauma. Felt like my family didn't love me if I wasn't skinny.

My therapist said I should stop blaming myself but I can't help it. I know things are going to get better and I'm doing my part and putting in my best effort to heal and follow the treatment plan. I know I'm being impatient but for once in my life, I just want to be healthy again and enjoy food without being scared to eat it. Luckily, a healed gut is attainable so I need to keep fighting for it. I know it's going to be worth it in the end. I'm also paying so fucking much for this holistic doctor like I better have the strongest gut in the world and lose 100 pounds so that when I turn to the side no one can see me.

I am also in a lot of credit card debt and I know I'll pay it off once someone hires me but the job market is so fucking hard right now. Probably need to sell feet pics or find a sugar daddy to afford my lifestyle. (lmao jk, kind of) The way I applied to so many jobs the past week and a half is crazy. Just have to trust the Universe and believe and manifest.

Right now, I just really want to focus on healing my gut so I can eat yummy things again, getting a new full time job with higher pay and being surrounded by my loved ones. One of those things where I so badly want things to get better and it feels like no matter how hard I try, things seem to be moving slow. But they're moving, I guess? lmao.

I just want the best for me and it's going to happen because I deserve it and I said so and what I say goes. I hope you try your best to love yourself through this process and to know that things are going to be so amazing for you that you're going to wonder why you felt like this. The setback is stronger than the comeback. Remember that.

And one more time, Happy Birthday, Kobe. I miss and love you 24/8. <3

[blakelywintersfield]

Minors

Okay so, I originally wrote this in response to this post (my friend's reblog is linked instead of the original because OP either deleted it from their blog I guess?), but I feel like this constitutes as its own post.

I know this may sound like an overbearing parent "don't trust strangers on the internet" talk, but like. I don't think a lot of you understand just how quickly a situation can escalate; it's scary. I mean that not in a condescending "you think you're untouchable you stupid little child, you don't really know what the world is like" way either, but as in, I don't think internet safety is being taught realistically, so those things you're told to watch out for are far-fetched or already seem suspect.

Predators don't work the way TV shows joke that they do -- most predators aren't going to try and message you at random posing as a teenage girl and attempt to strike up a friendship. A lot interact in community spaces like tumblr, where some level of anonymity is allowed, and it's not odd for there to be people of both minor and adult ages. They interact with a variety of people -- not just targets. They will have full-fledged social circles. Their blogs and social interactions will look like literally any other person's on here.

Then, of the different blogs they follow, they end up interacting a lot with a certain user. Maybe the kind of humor clicks, or similar opinions, or interests. Nothing out of the ordinary; that's how people make friends. Maybe then they start by sending an ask, or a message, or whatever, and that continues for a bit until you two are kind of acclimated to one another, and then, as far as everyone is concerned, it's just a new friend! Neat! That's how you make friends on the internet. They most likely did this with their other friends on tumblr. Nothing weird. In this hypothetical, the minor party has their full name and city public.

But then this person you make friends with -- the way you would any other person on this website -- turns out to be 10+ years your senior. Which like. Honestly, you don't have to cut them out of your life and block them immediately, but you inform them you're 10 years younger than them. A responsible adult would respond to that knowledge with anything from the range of "oh holy shit you're baby uhh I feel a little weird interacting with you so personally" to "oh goodness you are a youngling I will now enter caregiver/parent-like mode". And there will be an established tone from there of "we may still interact but there is going to always be a set emotional distance". It'll have a different dynamic/feeling to the friendships you have with people your age. And it should. Both parties can still care about each other! But this isn't someone you would like. Hang out one on one with. You wouldn't hang out with your mom's friend one on one, or at your teacher's home alone. That'd be weird, right? That should be the same kind of vibe you get with any adult "friendship" you make online (I put friendship in quotes because I feel like... there's a better term for it, or should be one that establishes that adult/minor relationship, but if there is I can't for the life of me remember it).

But maybe that person doesn't go down that path. Maybe it comes off that way at first, but there's a subtle level of emotional manipulation that is subtle enough that you're not certain you can accuse them of being manipulative. "Oh wow, you're so much younger than me... do you still want to talk to me / be friends / etc.? I can leave you alone now if you want." Warning sign #1: they are pressuring you to make the decision; they are placing responsibility on you. And it might feel a little mean to just drop communication all of a sudden because of age -- you got along fine before. Why should that change anything? That's a rational thought process, but it's also the one that benefits them too.

So hypothetically, you say "no it's okay, we can still talk. we were talking just fine before we found out each other's ages so why should that change?" And then maybe the conversation continues normally from there. But then they continue interacting with you as your peers would. You guys talk about stuff that's been stressing you or your problems, just like you would with your peers. Nothing seems out of the ordinary. Warning sign #2: That form of emotional connection isn't normal with an adult/minor relationship. I have minors that follow me. They have talked to me about their problems, and I've offered advice and wisdom; I don't condemn that because, well. As adults, we should help guide the younger if asked. But when it comes to my troubles, I limit how much I discuss with them. I don't bring them up myself (it's often brought up by the other party because I'll post about it on here, like a vent post or whatever). And while I don't brush them off with a short "don't worry about it", I make it clear -- I appreciate that you care enough to make sure I'm okay (because their sympathy / care is just as valuable as an adult's), but even if I'm not okay, the burdens and problems surrounding my troubles will be dealt with by me. I don't ask them for advice. I don't goad them for sympathetic words. And it's not that I believe they couldn't give good advice, or their sympathy means less, but an adult should not be relying on a minor for those levels of emotional labor. That established emotional connection where both parties exchange advice and comfort is how predators manipulate their victims because it's subtle and seemingly harmless, and difficult to paint them as a bad person when you have that level of emotional trust.

And once that emotional connection is established, that's when things can escalate, and get scary, quickly.

One day while talking they will probably bring it up -- the way one of your peers would. Something along the lines of "hey can I tell you something?" or "there's something I want to tell you but I'm afraid you won't want to talk to me anymore if I do" etc. etc.; with that peer/peer dynamic, that'll make you anxious, sure. You'd probably get anxious if they were your own age and said that too. So then, it comes out in some form that "I like you, but like... as more than a friend" or "I think you're really cute; I have for a bit now actually" or something similar. Obviously then it's uncomfortable.

But then you realize -- this is an adult. This is someone who has access to transportation. This is someone that doesn't have to report to someone (i.e. a minor can't just say "I'm going out of town for a week bye!" like your parents would, or SHOULD, be like "uh okay where are you going, who are you going to be with, why, etc. etc. etc."). And they know your full name and a general idea of where you live. You could just block them then and there and remove that information from your blog. But what if they already saved it? What if they already used one of those websites where you can look up a person's address by name for $5? What if they already know where you live, and they had planned on asking to meet up? They might know where you live. And you can't confirm or deny that they know. You can't say for sure if you removed that information before they saved it and used it for that purpose. Suddenly, there's the very real possibility that a pedophile that admitted to being attracted to you knows where you live.

Then what do you do? You should tell your parents or a trusted authority figure. But you're also a teenager and there's the likelihood that your parents might brush it off, or get angry with you, and you might get your internet taken away, etc., which is stressful because that takes away a major social area. To build upon the anxiety with that, there's the risk of unknowing if this person does know where you live, and if they do, if they are just unstable enough to do something drastic, like, y'know. Kidnap you. Because they know where you live. And they may know your school schedule too. And if your parents or trusted authority figure doesn't know about this situation, you may end up a missing child never found at worst, or found with far more trauma (5 years of life being kidnapped as opposed to a few months) that could've been avoided had someone known the situation.

But to 100% ensure your safety, it would have to be reported to the police. Because your parents can't do anything about the fact that a pedophile on the internet might know where you live. They can't confirm or deny that they know, and if they did, there's not much they can do other than keep an eye out for someone that looks out of the ordinary. But if they're most likely not home at the same time you are all the time. So, having the police involved ensures your safety -- if you open a case. You can report it to the police, and they'll ask: do you want to press charges (because it could be considered a form of child endangerment). If you say no, then that guarantees if you are kidnapped, that person would be the first they'd look to as a suspect. But to avoid that kidnapping risk at all, you'd have to say yes. And you're a kid that's now having to get involved in court just to avoid any risk to your safety because a pedophile may or may not have your address and may or may not be someone that would abduct their target, and so even if they didn't have your address and wouldn't kidnap you, you are now in a legal situation, which is. extremely. stressful. As someone's who's dealt with the court system a lot it's stressful no matter what.

And sure, you could omit the last step. But then you'll have that looming anxiety for as long as you're a minor that there is a possibility this person may show up at your house at some point. And that anxiety is fucking torture. I know it firsthand, I know all of this up to the legal portion firsthand, because this is exactly how I got tangled up with a pedophile in high school. That anxiety can make you paranoid. It impacts your sleep, which impacts your emotional tolerance and your concentration. It looms and there's nothing you can do to get rid of it other than convince yourself "they probably don't have my address; they probably won't find me". And that logic becomes sounder as time passes. But it requires time to pass, and in the meantime, you sit in constant suffering suspense.

It's just not fucking worth it, okay? You might think "this would never happen to me" but like. I was the fat emo weirdo in high school, literally considered attractive by no one and told so by peers and I still had it happen to me. So don't think "I'm not appealing enough" or whatever. Put self-esteem issues aside here, because to them, you're underage and at a power dynamic disadvantage not just physically, but most likely emotionally too. They care that you're a certain (under)age and can be manipulated into sexual acts. They will target you no matter how ugly you think you are or how unattractive your peers have convinced you.

So please. As an adult, that went through this situation (and could've had it turn out a lot worse tbh) -- do not disclose your real name (especially last names), location more specific than country, phone number, or school publicly online or to anyone you cannot 100% trust. I practice half of these in adulthood just to err on the side of caution since a full name and phone number alone could be used to find my address, and there are some preeeeetty unstable people out there. As a minor, absolutely no one needs any information unless you plan on meeting them in person, which should only be done after you've gotten to know them extremely well and both parties' parents know and are involved. It doesn't need to be on your public profile, and it shouldn't be on your public profile. I want your social media experience to be as enjoyable as possible, I don't want you feeling like you have to constantly keep an eye out for predators. But to keep yourself as safe as possible, don't purposefully make that information public. It's simple, but it’ll help you avoid so much potential stress.

Please stay safe.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 1/57, 97.7k words

Next

I was like “hey brain I’d love to do a shitpost social media au” and then it was like r e w r i t e m i r a c u l o u s

I don’t even know if it really even counts as miraculous anymore so much has changed god damn it --

Rena Rouge had never been so excited for anything in her life.

Of course, at first glance people would find that insane. She was going to a meeting, after all.

But it was the people that were also attending that had her practically vibrating she was so excited.

All the heroes of Paris were to be gathered under Master Fu’s orders. They hardly ever worked together, so having all four (five, including her, she reminded herself) together was pretty much a once-in-a-lifetime event. She wished she was still a reporter, this was the kind of thing she would have killed to report on back in the day…

Still, a part of her had to wonder why exactly they were all there. Master Fu had been vague when he’d called. She had some theories, of course, but all this waiting was starting to shift her excitement into nerves. She attempted to smooth out her tail, but ended up just tucking it under herself to hide her anxiety. Maybe she shouldn’t have come so early.

The first person to show up after her was Carapace. He’d poked his head through the door, the hood of his sleeveless hoodie pulled so low over his face that it partially hid his face. Then he broke into a wide smile and pushed the hood up a little to show the green glint of his mask. He made his way inside and took a seat next to her.

“Salu -- Bonjour!” His confident smile melted into an uncomfortable one. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Salut,” she said, not wanting him to feel awkward.

Besides, that was kind of his whole shtick. Carapace was the relatable hero, the one you could vent about your problems to.

(Well, technically you could vent to all of Paris’s heroes, they didn’t mind… but Carapace was the only one that felt close enough to actually try it with.)

Silence lapsed between them as they sat there. She tried to remember whether she had met him as Rena Rouge or not and he seemed unsure whether she wanted to talk, but they were distracted from their thoughts when Chloe walked into the room.

Chloe just kind of… does that. If Carapace was the personable one, Chloe was the one who felt the most unreachable. She was open about her persona, had to be after everyone found out about it, and exactly how relatable can a mayor’s daughter be? She’d leaned into it, though, opting for golden jewelry and wings that glinted in the light.

Neither of the present heroes said anything to Chloe, and Chloe didn’t acknowledge them.

Was it rude? Technically. But what else were they supposed to do? Chloe had made it clear a week ago that she didn’t like them. There’s no good conversation that can come after you get shit-talked on live tv.

The last person to be on time was Chat Noir. The original hero. He gave them a smile worthy of a model as he slipped inside. “Bonjour.”

“Bonjour,” said Rena and Carapace, and even Chloe gave a quiet hum of acknowledgement.

The leather of his black suit made a high-pitched squeaking sound against the chair when he sat down that made both him and Rena’s hair stand on end (literally).

Master Fu walked in to find Carapace trying to soothe two very frazzled miraculous holders and Chloe ignoring them on her phone.

He sighed and gently rapped his cane on the ground.

Instantly, the room quieted. Chat and Rena snapped out of their shock.

“Bonjour,” chorused everyone.

He smiled tensely. “Bonjour. Where’s Ladybug?”

“Not here yet,” said Chloe. She set her phone down on the table and crossed her arms over her chest. “There’s nothing in the papers, either.”

Master Fu nodded a little bit and took a seat at the head of the table. “We can wait for her. There’s no rush.”

Carapace hesitated before raising his hand. “There’s… a bit of a rush. I was procrastinating a college app and it’s due tonight…”

“It shouldn’t be long,” said Master Fu.

This was true. About five minutes later Ladybug burst into the room, panting softly. “Bon… jour...”

“Thanks for finally showing up,” said Chloe.

No one knew for sure, because Ladybug’s eyes were completely white, but they got the feeling that she was rolling her eyes.

“There was an akuma.”

“Really? There was nothing on the news…” said Rena, genuinely confused, but she trailed off when she realized that maybe getting one of your childhood heroes in trouble was a bad idea if you wanted to have a good relationship with said childhood hero.

Thankfully, Ladybug didn’t seem all that annoyed. “That’s because the news anchor and her crew got swallowed by it before they could get any information out. Anyways, it’s dealt with.”

With that, Ladybug took a seat in the last open chair. There was a beat as she smoothed out the red and black folds of her dress and then she crossed her legs and smiled at everyone.

Master Fu sighed and shook his head, slowly placing his cane in his lap.

“Now that everyone is here, would anyone like to guess why?”

The heroes of Paris stiffened a little bit. That sounded a lot like they were in trouble. They didn’t want to be in trouble.

Rena slowly raised her hand. “Is it… because of what Queen Bee said last week?”

The heroes’ expressions soured a bit at the memory. The video of Chloe trash talking all of them to an interviewer had blown up, and now they could hardly do anything without having at least one reporter hounding them for a response.

None of them could give any, though Rena was sure at least some of them were tempted. The public was supposed to think them all friends, or at worst friendly coworkers. It gave them hope, seeing them all working together for team ups, and analyzing their friendship dynamics kept them relatively distracted from the fact that it had been six years since the first hero had first arrived on the scene and they still had virtually nothing on Hawkmoth.

But now that illusion had been shattered (and trust her, she knew a lot about illusions). Akumas had been more active this week.

“That’s precisely it. Thank you, Rena.” Master Fu regarded them all carefully. “What do you think we should do about it?”

Really, they’d had no clue what to do about their image.

Chloe hadn’t been joking, she’d made that plainly obvious, so saying she didn’t mean it or that was just the type of friendship they had wasn’t going to work…

“Act more like friends…?” Said Ladybug when no one spoke up.

Master Fu nodded.

“Oh, so more team ups or something?” Said Chat.

Carapace shrugged. “Don’t know how much of that I can do, since I’m the only one that can consistently get in the water, but…” He shrugged again. “... sure, I can do that.”

The old man drummed his fingers on the table lightly to bring their attention back to him.

“Yes, that, too, but I was thinking something more… convincing.”

Rena decided that she definitely didn’t like the way his eyes gleamed.

“So, until you manage to defeat Hawkmoth, you will all be living together.”

Everyone opened their mouths to argue but he held up a hand to silence them.

“And you’ll be doing it publicly, posting regular content about it to a social media platform of your choosing…”  He put his hand down. “Now you can complain.”

The teens all immediately started attempting to talk over each other, their voices steadily increasing in volume as they tried to be the one to get their complaints heard.

Rena was silent. Part of her thought that she should be complaining. She had siblings, after all, she had a life outside of heroism… but she couldn’t help but smile. She would be living with her childhood heroes (for a long time, probably, because the Hawkmoth situation was not getting better)! And, really, her sisters could get annoying at times. She’d love an excuse to get away.

So instead of arguing she leaned back in her chair and watched everyone else.

Chloe was the most passionate about it, her jewelry flashing with every wild swing of her hand. Her voice was the loudest, but with the other voices in the room and the fact that she was literally buzzing in her anger it was hard to make out what she was saying.

Chat seemed distressed and Rena could see his mouth saying “I don’t think I’d be allowed to” repeatedly even if she couldn’t hear him over Chloe’s screeching.

Carapace’s face was set in an uncharacteristic frown as he complained. Sure, of those voicing their complaints, he definitely seemed the most relaxed, but the fact that he was frowning was in itself proof of just how upset he really was.

Ladybug was quiet, though she didn’t look particularly happy about it. Her lips were pressed into a thin line as if she was holding herself back from yelling as well and her fingers worried at the hem of her dress.

After a minute of this, Master Fu raised his hands for silence and instantly got it once again.

“Are you done?”

The general consensus was ‘no’, if the looks on their faces meant anything, but they nodded anyways.

“Good. Chat Noir, I’ve already worked everything out with your dad, we’ll discuss it more after the meeting is over.”

Chat relaxed a bit.

“Carapace, your schooling will not be affected. In fact, you’ll likely have a better college experience since all your food and toiletries will be paid for by me.”

Carapace’s expression shifted to a thoughtful one as he considered this.

“Queen Bee, must I remind you of the fact that you’re on thin ice as it is?”

Everyone’s eyes shot to Chloe, who had paled considerably. Her angry buzzing quickly lowered to a dull hum and she settled back into her seat.

Master Fu seemed sated by this, and he looked at Ladybug and Rena.

“And I’m assuming I don’t need to convince either of you?”

Rena shook her head instantly. Ladybug took her time to consider, but eventually shook her head as well.

“Great. Now, shall we talk logistics?”

~~~

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@nathleigh @mialuvscats

[scrollypoly]

can u tell me about ur version of offenderman? i guess "Fen", im assuming thats short for offender XD

Oh my. Fen is still a work in progress, and something I'm still hesitant to talk about because of the controversy around his character, but I'll do my best ^ ^'

First tho, you should probably get the context from these posts I did earlier: this one and this one

(Will also say that a lot of my headcanons for him were made alongside @bowtied-pasta and I will gladly give my bestie a shoutout cuz her boy is also great)

As stated in those above posts, Fen isn't a full blooded Ender. His father was an Ender that lived in North America that has since passed. His mother was a Succubus, and as such, he has traits from both parents. He's technically just a demon with some Ender qualities: he has a pretty featureless face with only a mouth, and can shape shift to change his appearance. However, he only has the 4 limbs, no extra appendages for this dude. His father shunned him and his mom, so she raised him on her own, as best as she could. She ended up taking him to the Mortal World, where it was easier for her to provide for him with her qualities. They we're pretty well off until she passed unexpectedly, and he was left on his own. He wasn't a child by any means, but that didn't mean he was ready to be alone.

Every child goes through a lot of grief losing both of their parents. He was too scared to seek out his birth father, not knowing how to reach him and not expecting any pleasantness out of the meeting. He wouldn't have known that his Father had passed as well. He did know how to shape shift at least, and so tried to blend in as a human and got a job, used the money his mother had to get an apartment. The trouble came with learning how to exist in human culture. Although being raised in that society, his mother was still more involved with her demonic culture, and he still grew up entrenched in it. So there was a learning curve for sure. To most people, he was thankfully just seen as awkward or a bit odd, but because of this and how ostracized he felt around humans, he paid as little mind to them as he could, kept to himself, and isolated. This will cause some problems.

Demons and Enders mature at a different rate then humans too. And in my fanon they have heat cycles that will affect them. Can't remember if I made a full post talking about that, if I did I will reblog it with a link, but it's not the sexy kinda heat you're thinking off. They're literally just like periods but dialed up, hormones going crazy and instincts going haywire, pain, nausea, confusion, etc. Not pleasant, and even less pleasant alone. If you have a partner or mate, they are much easier to pass. Fen didn't even have his mom to help him his first time, and it hit at work. He was confused, in pain, scared, and not knowing what was going on with his body. He was also blindingly horny in a very public space and had not really experienced that kind of reaction or feeling before. He ended up leaving work very quickly, struggled to get home. Before he could get out of the door, one of his coworkers, a girl, had been concerned and asked if he was alright before he left. He ended up zoning out staring at her, demons have higher senses and he could smell her. He ended up grabbing her before he could realize what was happening, before panicking when she yelled at him, and he ran home and locked himself in for the rest of his cycle. He got fired for misconduct and isolated for a little bit. He didn't fully understand what had happened, and became angry at the girl, his boss, and even with what he was, and sometime shortly after he took off for a night to defuse. While out, he ran into someone who would become a very close friend of his, Splendor, also glamoured as a human. The two recognized each other as similar creatures and sat down to talk, and Fen talked and vented about what happened.

Splendor had to knock some sense into him about what happened and why, why it was wrong, etc, as he was older and had been more immersed into human society. And overtime, Splendor helps him learn about both sides of his parentage as well. Splendor is like an older brother figure to Fen (though if you were to look at the two of them, especially glamoured, you would think it the opposite. Fen is huge). Once Fen left his own bubble and learned some other experiences, he fully learned what happened in that situation and felt remorse. He tried to reach out to that girl to apologize, but rightfully so she didn't want anything to do with him. He felt horrible, and carried it with him for a while. Until one night, when he was out getting drinks, he saw another woman getting harassed by a guy, and he ended up going up to the pair and threatened the dude to back off. The girl took that moment to book it, and the guy was so pissed that he ended up starting a fight with Fen. Note: Don't fist fight a demon. Fen ended up getting kicked out of that bar, but he wasn't too mad about it. He felt he did right, in a way making it up to the girl he couldn't apologize to. And he kind of took it up as his mantle, learning how to be more sneaky with and calmer the more it came up.

So now, most of his time is spent poking into bars in the city he lives in and keeping an eye out for creeps and chasing them off. He doesn't kill, but he will beat them to a bloody pulp if he needs to. He's generally laid-back aside from that, and while his empathy had to be learned that doesn't diminish it. He's wary, but compassionate, and tries hard to be a protector to make up for his past actions. He's got a pretty commanding presence, broad and tall and imposing, but being descended from a succubus, he still has some charm. He uses it to try and keep conflicts from escalating further than they need to.

I very specifically wanted to keep some form of his origin in his character. But I also am a person that likes to believe that people can learn from their mistakes and grow from it, and I wanted to show that through his character. A lot of characters in my fic carry deep trauma, and some of them do carry bad sexual trauma that manifests in many different ways. My OC Aub, Ben, Jane, Kate, Tim, all of them have that kind of trauma, and it manifests differently for all of them. With that, I want to also show an instance from the opposite perspective, but I want it to be a way to improve and change for the better, without the expectation of forgiveness that can make a person feel entitled and sour it. I guess I'm just hopeful.