#is the plural of ‘dilf’ dilves?

[dumb-djarin]

Just wanna say congrats on post of the month with your colonel König screenshot. The fandom is still reeling lol

woa I’m sorry this took so long to answer !!! (idk when you sent this in or when I got it but apologies anyway) Also HUH ? I need to open this app more often apparently bc I didn’t realize I got post of the month LMFAO

I’m still in shock myself like . I thought MAYBE he was a lieutenant, like, at MOST ???? wont say no to more dilfs tho !

[slytheringangstuff]

𝑀𝐼𝐿𝐹𝒮 & 𝒟𝐼𝐿𝐹𝒮

Pansy: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves? 

Theo: Milfs. 

Tom: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves. 

Pansy: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for??? 

Y/n: Mom in late forties, dad in late forties. 

Y/n: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago. 

Tom: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck. 

Pansy: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK— 

Pansy: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY! 

Y/n: Oh, is it not mom in late forties? 

Theo: What? No! It isn't! 

Y/n: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME! 

Tom: y/n... 

Y/n: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION! 

Tom: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you. 

Y/n: PANSY, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION! 

Pansy: The word milf has been ruined for me. 

Theo: THAT’S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS! 

Tom: Y'all are dumbasses.

[lumi-klovstad-games]

Shadowheart: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves? Karlach: Milfs. Obviously. Astarion: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves. Shadowheart: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for??? Wyll: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties. Wyll: I learned that from the play called M.I.L.F that I saw the bards advertising in Baldur's Gate probably 5 to 7 years ago. Astarion: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck. Shadowheart: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK— Shadowheart: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY! Wyll: Oh, is it not mom in late fourties? Karlach: What? No! It isn't! Wyll: THE BARDS LIED?! Astarion: Wyll… Wyll: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION! Astarion: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you. Wyll: SHADOWHEART, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE INKEEPER LADY A MILF NOW? BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION! Shadowheart: ...The word milf has been ruined for me. Karlach: BUT THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED!! THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS! Astarion: You are all utter dumbasses. Do keep it up.

[fatkish]

Funny (Y/N) x MHA

Inside the teachers lounge:

(Y/n): *looking at Aizawa from across their desks* choke me with your thighs daddy.

Aizawa: no

Vlad and Hizashi: *spits out drinks*

All Might: *chokes as blood spills from his mouth*

——————————————————————————

All might: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Aizawa: Milfs.

(Y/n): Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

All might: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Hizashi: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Hizashi: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

(Y/n): Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

All might: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

All might: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Hizashi: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Aizawa: What? No! It isn't!

Hizashi: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

(Y/n): Hizashi...

Hizashi: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

(Y/n): I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Hizashi: ALL MIGHT, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

All might: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Aizawa: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

(Y/n): Y'all are dumbasses.

——————————————————————————

Midnight: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.

Hizashi: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?

Aizawa: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.

(Y/n): Guys

——————————————————————————

All might: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?

(Y/n): *sighing* Aizawa.

Aizawa: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.

Hizashi: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

——————————————————————————

*Bakusquad is learning CPR on a test dummy*

(Y/n): So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Kirishima: No, (Y/n). They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

(Y/n): No, that’s not part of it—

Mina: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Denki: I would want to live with no legs.

Bakugou: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Sparky. You don’t do anything.

(Y/n): All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Kirishima: *pumps frantically*

(Y/n): Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Sero: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Bakugou: How’s that gonna help you Tape arms?

Sero: I will divide and then count to it.

Bakugou: Right.

(Y/n): Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Denki: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

——————————————————————————

Y/n), on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Hizashi , i uh, I’ve been stabbed.

All Might: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU?

(Y/n): Wait- You aren’t Hizashi . Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you-

All Might: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? IM COMING THERE. IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE THATS BEEN STABBED.

——————————————————————————

Aizawa: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting.

(Y/n): I think we need to validate self confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong and I have a heart of gold.

Vlad king: I think this message is extremely valid, but also (Y/n) has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone supervolcano, so what's the truth?

(Y/n): I want to set it off.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Why are you like this??

Aizawa: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

——————————————————————————

Dabi: I'm trash.

(Y/n): As someone who's environmentally conscious, it's my duty to pick you up. Does 7 work for you?

Dabi:

Dabi: You smooth motherfucker.

Dabi: And yes it does.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid.

Aizawa: You always act stupid.

Aizawa:

Aizawa: Wait…

——————————————————————————

Twice: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed.

Dabi:

Dabi: I'm gonna tell them.

(Y/n): Don't you dare.

——————————————————————————

Toga: You really believe in (Y/n)?

Tomura: Luckily, they believe in themself enough for the both of us.

——————————————————————————

Kurogiri: I had to pick up (y/n) early.

Mr. Compress: That’s alright. Have they been sick?

Tomura: No, not sick, they’re just very upset because they’ve had a hard day.

Dabi: Wait, why did they have a hard day?

Tomura: They took their two pet snails to school with them today, and they had the snails in their book bag. They let out the snails by the sink in the back of the classroom for some exercise, and some kid, who was visiting the class that day, thought they were snails that had come inside from the playground, so they threw (y/n)’s snails out the window.

Dabi: Oh my god.

Kurogiri: I know you are laughing, guys, but please act sad about it when they get home today.

Dabi: I’ll try but that is hilarious.

Tomura: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.

Tomura: I’m trying not to let (y/n) see me laugh.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Aizawa and I are dating.

Nedzu, Hizashi, All Might, and Aizawa: *gasp*

(Y/n): Aizawa, why are you surprised?!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n), about Hizashi and Aizawa: My god, would you two just get a room already?

Aizawa: Excuse me, (Y/n)?

(Y/n): You both just keep agreeing about horrifying things and relishing everybody else's misery. So seriously, when's the wedding?

Hizashi: ...

Nedzu: I ship it!

All Might: CAN YOU NOT?

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??

Nedzu: Y- you were putting it in cold water??

Aizawa: (Y/n). Answer the question, (Y/n).

(Y/n): Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.

(Y/n): Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?

Nedzu: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??

Aizawa: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?

Nedzu: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?

Aizawa: It takes less than a minute.

Nedzu: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???

Aizawa: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?

Nedzu: Like seven minutes??

All Might: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!

Aizawa: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? All Might? Your stove is enchanted!

(Y/n): Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.

Hizashi: Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

[incorrect-avantris]

Torbek: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Gideon: Milfs.

Kremy: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Torbek: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Gricko: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Gricko: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Kremy: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Torbek: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Torbek: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Gricko: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Gideon: What? No! It isn't!

Gricko: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Kremy: Gricko...

Gricko: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Kremy: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Gricko: TORBEK, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Torbek: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Gideon: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Kremy: Y'all are dumbasses.

[nastylittleghouls]

Zephyr: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves? Aether: Milfs/Dilfs. Dewdrop: Exactly. Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves. Zephyr: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for? Ifrit: Mom in late forties, Dad in late forties. Ifrit: I learned that from the movie M.I.L.F. I saw the trailer in theaters probably five to seven years ago. Dewdrop: It's actually Mom/Dad I'd Love to Fuck. Zephyr: Damn, really? Zephyr: I never realized it was actually horny! Ifrit: Oh, it's not Mom in their late forties? Aether: No, it isn't Ifrit: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME! Dewdrop: Fritter.... Ifrit: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS! Dewdrop: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you. Ifrit: ZEPH, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION? Zephyr: The word milf has been ruined for me. Aether: That's its definition. It can't be ruined if that's what it means. Dewdrop: Y'all are dumbasses.

[doueverwonder]

Colorado: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

New Mexico: Milfs.

Arizona: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Colorado: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Utah: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Utah: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Arizona: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Colorado: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Colorado: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Utah: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

New Mexico: What? No! It isn't!

Utah: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Arizona: Utah...

Utah: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Arizona: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Utah: COLORADO, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Colorado: The word milf has been ruined for me.

New Mexico: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Arizona: You all are dumbasses.

[rtc-incorrectquotes]

Noel: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Misha: Milfs.

Constance: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Noel: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Penny : Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties. I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Misha: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Noel: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK— I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Penny : Oh, is it not mom in late fourties?

[watarfallar]

Shoving these down your throats

Mumbo: Did you bring Lizzie? Cleo, gesturing to Etho: No, but I brought the next best thing. Mumbo: Etho? The next best thing would be Gem. Etho: I would be offended, but Gem is freakishly strong.

artyn: You're just jealous. All my friends tell me I remind them of Gem. The Squad: *screaming* Skizz: They look like Gem? Are you out of your fucking MIND? Scar: Gem, sweetie, I am SO sorry. I am SO SORRY that an ugly-ass bitch like this would even say that. Oh my god. Skizz: Gem? Gem? Gem? You know who you fucking look like? You fucking look like BigB!

Tango: Hey, how did my phone break? Lizzie: You were drunk yesterday. Tango: And? Skizz: You threw it. Tango: Why? Scott: You turned on airplane mode and kept screaming “FLY DAMN YOU!” Tango: And why didn’t you stop me?! Ren: We were busy laughing our asses off.

Bdubs: Hey, can we stay in your dorm tonight? Mumbo: Why? Bdubs: Impulse fiddled with an ouija board and cursed ours. BigB: Jimmy doesn't know how to banish spirits, so they just throw salt at them and yell "DOES THIS LOOK LIKE A HOTEL TO YOU?!"

Grian: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched? Pearl: IT. Scott: Annabelle. Jimmy: Paranormal Activity. Joel: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

Etho: You know what? Etho: When I join this friend group I thought you guys would be dealing with my bullshit. *Scott, Skizz and Grian continue screaming about mold water* Etho:Not the other way around. Impulse: I dunno, sounds like you need to drink the mold water.

Impulse: How do I ask someone out? Jimmy: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Impulse: No! BigB: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Impulse: Stop! Joel: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Impulse: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.

Martyn: When I see really attractive people like Scar, I just laugh because I know if we lived in the Aztec culture, they'd be sacrificed for their beauty. Jimmy: I mean, that's one way to cope with not being attractive. Impulse: Works for me.

Tango: What's the most efficient way to burn calories? Skizz: Exercise more! Scott: Set yourself on fire. Jimmy: There are two kinds of people.

Bdubs, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass." Bdubs: THERE. Now send it. Joel: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to- Bdubs: JUST DO IT! later Etho: So what does it say? Lizzie, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...." Etho: Lizzie: Etho: Gross-

Ren: Why did you kidnap Etho!?!?! Pearl: Ah- um- well- the reason for that is, uhh... Joel: Sometimes, we must work together towards a common goal. Ren: NOT TO KIDNAP PEOPLE!

Tango: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess. Scar: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to? Ren: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit. Skizz: Guys.

Gem: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?! Jimmy: Merry crisis. Ren: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way. Scott: Hoe hoe hoe. Gem: Guys, please.

Mumbo: How would you guys deal with a toxic friend? Gem: Tell them how you really feel. Pearl: Slowly distance yourself from them. Lizzie: Engage in a 1v1 sword battle and if they lose they have to stop being toxic or pay the price. Mumbo, being handed a sword: …well heck.

Bdubs, filling out legal paperwork: Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Tango: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Cleo: I personally was created in a lab. Jimmy: I just straight up spawned lol.

Gem: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves? Impulse: Milfs. Grian: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves. Gem: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for??? Tango: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties. Tango: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago. Grian: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck. Gem: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK— Gem: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY! Tango: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries? Impulse: What? No! It isn't! Tango: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME! Grian: Tango... Tango: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION! Grian: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you. Tango: GEM, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION! Gem: The word milf has been ruined for me. Impulse: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS! Grian: Y'all are dumbasses.

Martyn: Why are you smiling? Jimmy: What? I can’t just be happy? Cleo: Ren tripped and fell in the parking lot.

Tango: A stake to the heart won't kill a vampire if their tits are big enough. Ren: Yeah, you just catch it. Impulse: Nah nah nah, deflects it. Stake? Just bounces right off. Done. Back to doing hot girl shit. Scar: Then I just use a spear instead. Tango: You are trying so hard to kill a vampire with big bazongas, and for what? Why would you do that to the ecosystem?

Scott: I have a question. BigB: Shoot. Scott: Is the S or C in scent silent? Martyn: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day. BigB: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent. Scott: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way. Martyn: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent. Lizzie: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound. Martyn: Lizzie is not allowed to talk anymore.

Skizz: I didn’t know that air fryers are a real thing. Used to think that they were made up by the internet as a funny joke and that their purpose was to “fry air”. Impulse: WAIT, BUT IT FRIES THE AIR TO FRY THE FOOD?? Skizz: I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A KITCHEN APPLIANCE, MY FIRST ASSUMPTION WAS SOMETHING AKIN TO AN AIR CONDITIONER! Scott: IT’S NOT LIKE AN AIR CONDITIONER???? Scar: You guys clearly don’t own an air fryer.

*The gang when they drop food on the floor* Etho: Aw man. *Throws it away* Ren: Five second rule! Grian: Foolish germs, thinking they can stop me!? *Eats it off the floor* Tango: *Sobs on the floor*

Tango: I’m gonna die alone. Bdubs: Tango, you’re not gonna die alone. Tango: Jimmy, was my safety net, okay? They got married and now I have to get a snake. Etho: Uh-huh. Why is that? Tango: If I’m gonna be an old lonely person, I’m gonna need a thing, you know? A hook. Like that guy in the subway who eats his own face. Tango: So I figured I’ll be “Crazy Man With A Snake”, you know? Crazy snake man. Tango: Then I’ll get more snakes, call them my babies. Kids won’t walk past my place, they will run! RUN AWAY FROM CRAZY SNAKE MAN!

[youling-the-ghost]

sfth incorrect quotes pt.10 because school's kicking my ass and I need my daily dose of brainrot to survive

AJ: Go fuck yourself. Sam, smugly: Sure, but only if you watch Tom: It doesn’t have a bone. Sam: Then why is it called a boner? Luke: Look, do I consider myself attractive? Yes. But would I have sex with my clone? Also yes.

AJ: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves? Sam: Milfs. Tom: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves. AJ: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for??? Luke: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties. Luke: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago. Tom: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck. AJ: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK— AJ: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY! Luke: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries? Sam: What? No! It isn't! Luke: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME! Tom: Luke... Luke: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION! Tom: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you. Luke: AJ, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION! AJ: The word milf has been ruined for me. Sam: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS! Tom: Y'all are dumbasses. Tom: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. AJ: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY- Sam: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming? Tom: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"? Luke: Ya know...it might be. Sam: How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way? Tom: Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you? Luke: What the fuck is wrong with you two? at the supermarket Sam: All right, the last item on the list is "virgin oil." Sam: Sam: Wow. Imagine being an item and still being called a virgin. Tom: Capitalisation is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.." (It was then that Junyu realised...he accidentally turned on NSFW only and that's why the quotes have been so horny.) Sam: Hey! Wanna hear a joke? Tom: Sure. Sam: Your life! Tom: Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning. Sam: Tom, no. AJ: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry? Tom: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition. (in reference to that one guessing game where AJ forgot how math worked) Luke: It's locked. You got a lock pick? Tom: Yeah- Sam: *kicks down the door* Luke: They can't make me admit France exists, right? Legally, that's not allowed. Luke: Sure, if France was REAL I'd say I liked it. Luke: But who's to say. AJ: I think France isn't real. Tom: AJ, you used to live in France. AJ: And??? AJ: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Sam: But did I make you cry? AJ: *cries on the spot* Sam: ...Shit. AJ: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Tom: ...What??? AJ: What’s your biggest fear? Luke: I am incredibly arachnophobic. AJ, under his breath: You don’t want spiders to get married? Tom: Luke, I think we have a problem. Luke: What, the fire? Tom: No, the- wait, what fire? Luke: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting. Sam: Hey Luke, can you give me the opposite of these words? Sam: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down. Luke: Never, Going, To, Give, You- Luke: The fucking satisfaction. Luke: Inside you, there are two kidneys. Luke: I’m gonna steal them. Tom: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in. Tom: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall. Tom: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.

[gingerdraw-blog]

I got silly with the prompt generator AGAIN

TW Y/N IS HERE TOO AND THERE'S ALSO SHIPS LIKE LASERFROG AND RAYFROG (and also x reader AND JADE IS HERE TOO)(Y/N being a dumbass LIKE FR ITS STUPID) UMM SUGGESTIVE TOPICS???? YEAH YEAH SUGGESTIVE TOPICS

Ramon: I sleep with a gun under my pillow.

Y/N : I sleep with a knife.

Dolph: Both of you are pathetic.

Ramon: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with?

Dolph: Bullfrog

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Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Dolph, with Bullfrog and Ramon behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

Ramon: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Bullfrog: Y/N FUCKING FELL OFF!

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Y/N : *sees Ramon and Bullfrog together*

Y/N : They're cute. I would put them on a boat.

Dolph: You mean... you ship them?

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Ramon: Where is Y/N ?

Bullfrog : I'll do you one better, who is Y/N ??

Dolph: Here's a better question, why is Y/N ?

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Ramon : Where's Dolph?

Y/N : Don't worry, I'll find them.

Y/N , shouting : Bullfrog sucks!

Dolph, distantly: Bullfrog is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Y/N : Found them.

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(again but rayfrog version because I'm multishipper)

Dolph: Where's Ramon?

Y/N : Don't worry, I'll find them.

Y/N , shouting: Bullfrog sucks!

Ramon, distantly: Bullfrog is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Y/N : Found them.

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Ramon: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Y/N : Milfs.

Dolph: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Ramon: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Jade : Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Jade : I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Dolph: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Ramon: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Ramon: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Jade : Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Y/N : What? No! It isn't!

Jade : THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Dolph: Jade ...

Jade : THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Dolph: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Jade : RAMON, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Ramon: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Y/N : THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Dolph: Y'all are dumbasses.

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Y/N : It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Bullfrog : Merry crisis.

Jade : Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

Ramon: Hoe hoe hoe.

Y/N : Guys, please.

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Jade , writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."

Jade : THERE. Now send it.

Ramon:: Dude, your handwriting's terrible, are you sure you want to-

Jade : JUST DO IT!

later

Y/N : So what does it say?

Dolph, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."

Y/N :

Dolph:

Y/N : Gross-

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Ramon: I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter “s”.

Jade : *looks over at Y/N and Dolph* Jade : Is it “sexual tension”?

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Bullfrog : Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Y/N: Can everyone in this godforsaken group please learn the skill called "Think Before You Speak"?

Ramon : Ya know... it might be.

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Ramon , looking through their clothes: Has anyone seen my top?

Y/N: Bullfrog 's in the kitchen.

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Bullfrog , gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Y/N: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Y/N: Here you go.

Bullfrog :

Y/N:

Ramon : Why am I here?

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Y/N: We need a diversion. I say Ramon gets naked.

Bullfrog : No.

Y/N: I could get naked.

The squad: NO!!!

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Bullfrog : What did Ramon do this time?

Y/N: More like WHO did Ramon do this time?

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Y/N: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!

Ramon , snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.

Bullfrog , deadpanning at Ramon : Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

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Bullfrog : How do you tell someone that you wanna have sex with them in a polite way?

Ramon : Excuse me Mx. Would you give me the honours of indulging in sexual activities with you?

Y/N: What the fuck is wrong with you two?

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Y/N: Thank you all for coming.

Bullfrog , wearing a hospital gown: When I heard you couldn't get laid, I dropped everything and came straight here.

Y/N: Well, I couldn't imagine anyone else being part of the "Fuck Y/N Task Force".

Ramon : Yeah, I interpreted that in a different way.

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Y/N: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Ramon : The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Y/N: Stop.

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Bullfrog : Are you trying to seduce me?

Y/N: Why, are you seducible?

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Ramon : I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

Y/N: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Ramon , already taking off their clothes: God, Y/N, you’re so fucking stupid.

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Ramon : Two brooooos!

Y/N: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Ramon : Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!

Y/N:

Ramon :

Y/N: *tearing up*

Ramon : Babe, c'mon...

Y/N: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.

Ramon : Babe...

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Y/N: The stars are so beautiful...

Ramon : They're just giant balls of gas.

Y/N: You know what, if you're just going to ruin this, then-

Ramon : And yet none of them are as huge as my love for you.

Y/N: Oh...

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[cherrilemon]

Hotch: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Emily: Milf

Spencer: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves

Hotch: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Rossi: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties

Rossi: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago

Spencer: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck

Hotch: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Hotch: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Rossi: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Emily: What? No! It isn't!

Rossi: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Emily: Rossi...

Rossi: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Emily: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you

Rossi: HOTCH, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Hotch: The word milf has been ruined for me

Spencer: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Emily: Y'all are dumbasses

[soyourethatanderson]

Knox: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves? Todd: Milfs. Todd: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves. Knox: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for??? Neil: Mom in late forties, dad in late forties. Neil: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago. Charlie: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck. Knox: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK— Knox: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY! Neil: Oh, is it not mom in late forties? Charlie: What? No! It isn't! Neil: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME! Todd: Neil... Neil: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION! Charlie: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you. Neil: KNOX, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION! Knox: The word milf has been ruined for me. Charlie: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS! Todd: You're all are dumbasses.

[bitchystxrk3000]

Peter 1= Tom’s Peter

Peter 2= Tobey’s Peter

Peter 3= Andrew’s Peter

Peter 3: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Peter 1: Milfs.

Peter 2: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Peter 3 : Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Y/N: Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Y/N: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Peter 2: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Peter 3 : WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Peter 3 : I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Y/N: Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

Peter 1: What? No! It isn't!

Y/N: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Peter 2: Y/N...

Y/N: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Peter 2: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Y/N: PETER 3 , DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Peter 3 : The word milf has been ruined for me.

Peter 1: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Peter 2: Y'all are dumbasses.

[0lympian-c0uncil]

Artemis: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

Apollo: Milfs.

Athena: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Ares: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Apollo: Mom in late forties, dad in late forties.

Apollo: I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Artemis: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Ares: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Ares: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Apollo: Oh, is it not mom in late fories?

Athena: What? No! It isn't!

Apollo: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Athena: Apollo...

Apollo: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Artemis: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Apollo: ARES, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Ares: The word milf has been ruined for me.

Artemis: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Athena: Y'all are dumbasses.

[imjustalilboi]

Ello again! Back with another post (my procrastinating ass was lazy)

Oliver (Fog Entities): Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?

James (Parasitus Virus): Milfs.

Edward (Fog Entities): Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/dilves.

Oliver (Fog Entities): Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???

Donald (Fog Entities): Mom in late forties, dad in late fourties.

Donald (Fog Entities): I learned that from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer of in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.

Edward (Fog Entities): Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.

Oliver (Fog Entities): WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—

Oliver (Fog Entities): I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS ACTUALLY HORNY!

Donald (Fog Entities): Oh, is it not mom in late fouries?

James (Parasitus Virus): What? No! It isn't!

Donald (Fog Entities): THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!

Edward (Fog Entities): Donald (Fog Entities)...

Donald (Fog Entities): THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!

Edward (Fog Entities): I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.

Donald (Fog Entities): OLIVER (FOG ENTITIES), DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS LITERALLY JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!

Oliver (Fog Entities): The word milf has been ruined for me.

James (Parasitus Virus): THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!

Edward (Fog Entities): Y'all are dumbasses.

_______________________________

Douglas (Fog Entities): How long do you reckon it’ll be until Rusty (Monster Engines) finally snaps and commits murder?

Douglas (Parasitus Virus): I’ve been going through life assuming it’s already happened at some point and it’s just that no one was ever able to trace it back to them.

_______________________________

Henry (Monster Engines): I lost Edward (Fog Entities).

Henry (Fog Entities): How did you LOSE Edward (Fog Entities)?!

Henry (Monster Engines): To be fair, they are very small.

_______________________________

Oliver (Monster Engines): wow you and Thomas (Monster Engines) are home early from the movies. What happened?

Duck (Monster Engines): We got kicked out because Thomas (Monster Engines) wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the Titanic.

Thomas (Monster Engines): That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you!

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Toby (Monster Engines): My stomach growled super loud in French.

Toby (Monster Engines): I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.

Edward (Monster Engines): Bonjour.

Toby (Parasitus Virus): Le growl.

Henry (Parasitus Virus): Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.

______________________________

James (Monster Engines): Don't worry, I've got a few knives up my sleeve.

Henry (Fog Entities): I think you mean cards.

Douglas (Fog Entities): They did not.

James (Monster Engines), pulling out knives: I did not.

_______________________________

Emily (Parasitus Virus): Edward (Fog Entities) said its my turn with the brain cell.

Percy (Fog Entities): Square up.

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Percy (Monster Engines): If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.

Gordon (Parasitus Virus), deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.

_______________________________

Oliver (Monster Engines): You bought a taco?

James (Monster Engines): Yes.

Oliver (Monster Engines): From the same truck that hit Percy (Monster Engines)?!

James (Monster Engines), with a mouthful of taco: Well, me starving ain't gonna help them.

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Monster Engines AU belongs to @steam-beasts

Parasitus Virus AU belongs to @thechaddyengine

Fog Entities AU belongs to me