#is that what this is puck ... ? pucky ...

[estarion]

"astarion, i have a new dye for you. it's not yellow, i promise." he is holding the bottle of dye behind his back, trying (and failing) not to smile.

his brow cocks at that flit of poorly suppressed amusement; given the history, chance of there being anything of actual aesthetic value within puck’s grasp is approximately... zero!  small throwing knife in his dominant hand ( its tip grazes clenched teeth now ), astarion juts the other palm forward, fingers curling and uncurling in a twice delivered come-hither gesture.   “if you’re lying, my friend, i’ll have no choice but to interpret this as your misguided way of declaring me thy one and only sunshine.”

[bloodyarn]

                                                       𝙻𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 .                                                unprompted interactions

@bloodtwin: ❝ So, you & Rolan are . . . ？❞ He trails off, not getting the rest of the question out of his mouth. He'd almost asked if they were a couple, but that wasn't really what he meant. He already knew they were a couple. Thinks they're rather sweet together. Really, if you asked him, he would say he was happy for them. It wouldn't be a lie. Puck's eyes dart to the side. There's a lump forming in his throat as it tightens. He wishes now more than anything that he didn't wear his emotions so plainly on his face. He hopes she doesn't notice. It's not like it's her fault. He shouldn't have even talked to her in the first place. Voice a little quieter, he rephrases the question: ❝ Does he make you happy ？❞

        These  last  weeks  have  been  nothing  but  exciting.     Her  first  relationship.  A  crush  that  turned  out  not  to  be  as  one-sided  as  expected.  To  say  Babette  was  not  beaming  from  the  inside  out  would  be  a  blatant  lie  ;  the  haglet  was  visibly  happy.  More  than  usual.  Even  more  motivated,  getting  up  extra  early,  helping  with  the  cooking  as  if  already  envisioning  a  domestic  life  when  this  adventure  was  over.

The  mention  of  the  tiefling  alone  brought  a  smile  to  her  palish  lips,  only  to  subtly  take  the  hint.  Puck's  tone  was  different,  if  only  a  little.  That  sweet  grin  shifted  into  a  more  neutral  one  before  a  flicker  of  worry  passed  her  visage.  The  half-elf  did  act  different  as  of  recently.  Not  as  clingy,  not  as  pushy  (  in  the  sweetest  way  possible  ).  A  little  gentleman  ;  charming  to  no  end.

And  the  seamstress  remembered  the  private  talks  she  had  with  the  wizard,  for  he  definitely  had  suspicions  from  the  beginning.

     ❝ He  does. ❞      Accompanied  by  a  single  nod,  wine-red  eyes  glued  to  the  bonfire  in  front  of  the  pair.     ❝ He's  not  as  grumpy  as  he  seems  to  be.  The  road  just  takes  a  toll  on  us  all.  His  siblings  are  his  top  priority.  Mine  would  be  too,  would  I  were  to  travel  with  them. ❞      A  light-hearted  voice,  meant  to  reassure,  but  somehow  it  felt  so  strange.  Babette  always  talked  about  basically  everything  with  Puck.  Why  does  this  topic  leave  a  bitter  taste  in  her  mouth   ?    

     ❝ Y-You  are  acting  different  from  before,  Pucky.  Is  everything  okay  .  .  .  ? ❞

[chaotic-orphan]

Dec. 11, prompt: fake dating

Uh-oh, I named characters again and now I am attached. But this prompt calendar has me writing so many new things I'd never even think to write and I love it and I want to thank the modern typewriter for being an inspiration to continue writing

I had a lot of fun with these two and fake dating so enjoy!

@the-modern-typewriter-aesthetic @the-modern-typewriter

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

'The Silver's are hosting a ball tonight,' said the royal courtier looking pointedly at the prince who was trying very hard to ignore them. Which was hard to do when you're both stuck inside a stuffy carriage, a mere breath away.

The courtier cleared their throat but the prince was still looking out the window.

'Your attendance is expected, your highness.'

'I'm sure my brother can handle the Silver's,' Adam said, watching the trees go by.

'His royal highness is otherwise occupied. I'm afraid the duty falls to you.'

The carriage rolled to a stop, and Adam was out in the trees, stretching before going to the coachman, a hand on one of the horses as he spoke.

'Everything okay?'

The coachman was gruff looking. Red hair hidden under a peak cap, a cigarette dangling from his lips, but his eyes were sharp. Enthralling, Puck told him once. That's what his eyes were meant to do, ensnare people to him so he could kill them. Adam's best friend.

'There's something not right,' Puck said, hopping off the coach perch and taking a drag, smoke coming from his nose as he eyed the trees surrounding them. Adam did the same.

'Your highness, why have we stopped?' courtier called from inside the carriage. 'We mustn't be late!'

Both of the boys ignored them.

Puck's ears twitched and then he was turning on his heel, drawing his dagger.

'What is it?' Adam asked, following Puck as he walked around the carriage. Then there was a whistle that seemed to resound from the trees. Puck took a final drag and crushed the cigarette under his feet.

'Fuck. It's the feral. Adam, you need to go.'

'Go? No, no way. I'm not leaving you-'

'They're elves, I'll be fine. Now go.'

'Puck-'

Puck's eyes flashed golden, and Adam took an instinctive step back.

'Okay, I'm going,' he said, then added, 'don't get killed.'

Adam went around the carriage to the courtier, when a feral walked out of the door blood staining their armour.

'Why would we kill anyone?' the elf asked, exposing their teeth with a shark like smile. 'We just want an audience with the royals.'

'I hear they're not worth it,' Adam said with a strained smile. He had a hand on his dagger, when Puck came to stand beside him.

'Puck, my how you've grown. Sharing bread with humans now, hmm?'

'The food is good,' Puck shrugged with that same easy calm he always seemed to possess. 'Plus it's better than smelling like fresh shit and muck all the time.'

Puck flashed his own smile, showing his teeth this time. Just as sharp. Just as dangerous.

An arm settled heavy over both the shoulders of Adam and Puck, Adam flinching because he never heard the elf creep up on them.

'You seem awfully protective over the human who's brother hate us all, Puckie. Is it your new toy?'

Adam turned his head ready to bite at these tall fuckers, when he felt a hand slip into his. Adam looked up at Puck with wide eyes, but Puck just had that same lazy grin.

'Boyfriend, actually. So if you wouldn't mind getting your hands off what's mine, that would be great, Rekkie.'

The second elf, Rek, scoffed, but took their arm off Adam and Puck all the same, going to stand beside the other Feral.

'Please tell me you didn't have a threesome with the suit I just bludgeoned,' leader asked with a sly smile, looking between the two with the same enthralling eyes Puck had flashed Adam not two minutes ago. Trying to enchant Adam to him, but Puck's hand was strong and sure, holding Adam close to him.

Puck tilted his head, 'You know me Fachnan, I like pretty things.'

Puck didn't flinch under the Feral's inquisitive stare, trying to get him to confess he was lying and that they could all kill Adam together like the old days. Good quality bonding. Ripping a human limb from limb.

'Well, I guess we won't keep the happy couple any longer, aye Rek?'

'Aye boss.'

Fachnan smiled at them both again, 'Just call us when you need us to murder your brother. What a spectacle it would be, to see a King with an elf on his arm, hmm.'

The two Feral's bowed then, deep and low, arms spread in front of them, and Puck bowed in the same way back at them. An elfish farewell deep rooted with respect. Even Feral's were mannerly, despite their name.

Only after they were far out of eyesight did Puck take his hand out of Adam's and Adam settled back against the carriage, his heart pounding in his ears.

'I'm sorry about your courtier,' said Puck, 'and for pretending to be your boyfriend. It's custom to respect an elf's mate, so I knew they wouldn't touch you if I pretended we were together.'

Adam looked him in the eyes, and let out a shaky breath. 'Are you really apologising for saving my life?'

Puck laughed, reaching deep into his pockets and taking out his cigarettes and lighter.

'Yeah? I guess I am,' he said as he pulled one out with his teeth, offering the pack to Adam who took it gratefully. Puck lit Adam's cigarette first then went to light his own. Puck closed the door to the carriage and then went to the coachman's step.

He stuck out a hand to Adam to help him up, and soon they were both sitting on the pedestal, knees touching, cigarette smoke surrounding them.

'If you ever do want to kill your brother-' Puck said, and Adam elbowed him playfully in the side. Puck let out a riotous laugh, and Adam joined him a second later.

'Let's just see how bad the Silver's ball is. I'll tell you by the time the night's out,' Adam said, and Puck grabbed the reins in both hands and started them down the offbeat track through the woods again.

'Do you need a plus one?'

Adam exhaled a lung full of smoke, 'I thought you'd never ask.'

[lottiepumpkinofficial]

day 29 (a day late)

chap’s 33,34,35

i am so fucking tired so we’ll see how much i read before i fall asleep

snowdrops symbolise hope, new beginnings and purity

i want a lesson on how to commit espionage

okay but what if raphael secretly is undercover but bc he’s so good at acting nobody knows

ooh who is whose plus one though? if jamie is ellie’s that looks suspicious but also jamie being ani’s plus one??? weird

i love that ani’s just been roped in and despite her efforts to just get on with life it’s somehow useful to the group

fucking hell that’s confusing

awww lottie doesn’t get to watch ellie being a prince :(( it’s so cute that she wants to do both

i hate that everyone teases her for it though, like sometimes things don’t click until they do

i like that binah uses a sweet themed metaphor to lighten the mood and relate it to tompkins, clever

lottieeeee since when do you not want to participate in extracurricular learning

thank god for binah, she is literally the only thing keeping these people together

okay i’m really getting into the details here which i shouldn’t bc i need sleep, but professor devine counts everyone, but uses jamie’s name- is this maybe her even in the tiniest way, allowing him to be a little more human than he lets himself be or idk im probably overthinking this

i love that professor devine is just like fuck henry the 8th i love that for her

baked bean man!!

i love that binah isn’t even slightly scared of jamie

hey, lottie, it’s not your job to slow down so someone can catch you up- you have got to move at your own pace and you can’t stop or force anyone to speed up their own journey

he will get lost though, oh and you will too

ollie, really? you thought surprising lottie, grabbing. her without giving her a chance to see you, knowing she has a TRAINED BIDYGUARD would be a good idea? this is like raph at new year’s eve

^ more proof olliel is slay

okay but if the princess of maradova is as famous as they’ve made her out to be, how do kate and charlie not already know? like at this point, even if they were still keeping it low down, there would definitely be at least a couple of photos of her circulating around

baby monkey, riding on a pig, baby monkey

lottie nooo it’s so sad she doesn’t talk about olloe

which tunnel? where were ellie and lottie?

foreshadow the hair cut

binahs spare glasses don’t make lottie not see so either lottie is just rawdogging bad eyesight or binah doesn’t actually need glasses and they’re all fake

IVE SAID IT BEFORE AND ILL SAY IT AGAIN LOTTOE IS SO DEMI GIRL AND SO WILLIAM TUFTY AND GENDER IS SO COOL AKD FUNKY

interesting that lottie picks up binahs aroaceism (a word?) bc of her lack of crushes- does this mean she is aware of jamie’s little crush on her bc otherwise he doesn’t show any interest in anyone

aww fam connections

ARTIST FORWSHAWO

LILIANA TUFTY PAINTING FORESHADOW I JEVER NOTICED TBID

pucky puck ollie

[bloodtwin]

Name: Puck Darlington Nickname(s): The Dark Urge, Dandelion, Dandy, Pucky, Pooch, Pookie Relationship Status: Single (Default) Gender: Born to be a dog, forced to be a “man” Romantic Orientation: Bisexual, Polyamorous Preferred Pet Names: For himself? His name LOL but you could get away with calling him “pup” or “puppy.” He likes those, of course. You can call him other pet names, but he may get shy about it or try (and fail) not to grimace. For his partner, he’s partial to “sweetheart.” He'll call you “babe,” if you’re Babsi. You might get called “dear” once or twice. 

Opinion on True Love: “As far as I’m concerned, all love is true.” That is to say, Puck is the most earnest man alive. He sees love as an action more than a feeling, and he gives it to everyone he meets because it is what he would like to receive himself. If you are willing to put in that same effort for him then he considers your love to be real and true, yes. Romantically or otherwise, really. Opinion on Love at First Sight: Based on his own experiences, he doesn’t believe romantic love at first sight exists because, as mentioned above, love is very much something you do rather than feel. He would say that people can become infatuated with someone at first sight because he certainly has.  How ‘Romantic’ Are They?: In a traditional sense, not very. He won’t court you intentionally. Romance tends to start and end with sex for him, unfortunately. I think he sees a partner as a friend who he happens to be physically intimate with, at least at first. He won’t read you love poems, won’t surprise you with elaborately-planned dates, or even think to give you flowers… unless, of course, you happen to mention that you like a certain kind of flower and he also happens to stumble upon said kind of flower in the middle of a shadow-cursed wasteland. That’s where his romantic side lies, really. In the details.  - He pays attention to you and remembers the little things. He will notice when you’re tired and offer to carry you. He will take care of you when you are sick. He will protect you fiercely and with reckless abandon, and he will never leave your side. But no, he probably won’t buy you chocolates and whisper sweet words of love in your ear. He will get tongue-tied then ask very politely but also very bluntly if he can eat you out or something. 

Ideal Physical Traits: See, this is interesting because “ideal” and “preferred” are not the same. Puck would say his “ideal” partner would be someone physically strong. Someone muscular, tall, and capable of holding him down if necessary. Or killing him. However, he is naturally drawn to and seems to prefer people who are much, much smaller than he is. He likes having a size difference, but he would never admit this.   Ideal Personality Traits: Again, “ideal” vs. “preferred.” Ideally, he would say he’d like for his partner to be empathetic and patient, which is true. He would like that. However, I’ve noticed that he is mostly attracted to the very catty and the very abrasive. Opposites attract, I suppose. He also likes people who are shy or quiet. The thing is, Puck is a very agreeable guy, so he gets along with all kinds of people and he genuinely likes all of them. Unattractive Physical Traits: He doesn’t think any physical traits are unattractive, so jot that down, but I will say that he would prefer to avoid people that are weaker or smaller than he is because that wouldn’t be safe for them. Alas, his tastes and preferences. Unattractive Personality Traits: Self-importance to the point of belittling others. He thinks confidence, even if more on the arrogant side, is attractive but not at the expense of others. He also doesn’t like cowardice. 

Ideal Date: Cemetery sex. :/ I don’t think Puck knows what a “date” is. He’ll just ask if you want to go on a walk with him. Do They Have a Type?: I like to joke that he has a thing for people with white hair, but it’s really just a coincidence that most of his main ships happen to be with people who have white hair. In truth, Puck is very much My Type by Saint Motel. You know, “You’re just my type / Oh, you got a pulse and you are breathing.” That’s his type. And sometimes even when you don’t have a pulse… Average Relationship Length: He would have to admit to being in a relationship to measure such a thing, and as far as he is aware this has never happened so I cannot give a real answer. Preferred Non-Sexual Intimacy: Brushing hair or just running his hands through it. If it’s long enough, he’ll braid it. Feels like home to him. He also likes taking naps or bathing together. He’s a very touchy-feely person, so he’ll be all over you the second you’re alone. Commitment Level: This man is akin to a dog. You lock eyes with him once, and he’s loyal to you forever. He will always show up for you; he will always protect you with everything he has. HOWEVER… a dog does not typically limit itself to only being pet by its owner. You need to train him if you want to be the only one he seeks companionship from, or he will show that same loyalty and devotion to others as well. You need to be clear and direct about what kind of relationship you want from him, or he won’t have any clue why you’re sulking about him getting his belly rubbed by someone else. He may be stupid 🫶 - Yes, he pays attention to detail, and yes, he also does not realize it could potentially hurt your feelings that he’s flirting with someone else unless you explicitly state you’d like to be exclusive. His contradictions are numerous and beautiful to me. Opinion of Public Affection: He would rather curl up and die. He is a very physically affectionate person, so I imagine this would maybe surprise his partner, especially because he’s not shy about things like casual sex. It’s when he’s in a committed relationship, or is interested in being in a committed relationship, that he gets quite shy. This is mostly because he’s protective of his partner.    Past Relationships?: There was probably *gestures vaguely* Something going on with Gortash, but it was very undefined and unspoken. Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t, none of my business. Also none of Puck’s business, frankly. When he was a teenager, he had a crush on this cute goth girl named Shadowheart, but she kept forgetting his name so nothing really happened there. Other than those, he’s had a few brief flings that ended very, very poorly. With bloodshed, of course. Writer’s Note: Fuck uhhhhhhhh let’s see. Puck is a very devoted, loving partner. He has so, so, so much love to give, but he will very rarely express it through words or in front of others. Even though he would never hide his love, he will likely not verbalize or flaunt it because he is afraid of speaking it into existence. Being who he is, he knows it’s dangerous for him to have such a deep, intimate connection with another person and doesn’t want to hurt them simply by adoring them so he will avoid outright stating it as if that will stop whatever it is that drives him to do harm.

tagged by: snagged it from @ferinehuntress a while ago :3 tagging: @accultant , YOU !

[gleerp-2021]

Claimed characters!

Here is a list with the characters that have already been claimed and all their basic informations!

(Click in “keep reading”)

•1•

Name/age: Brittany S.Pierce, 19 years old

Sexuality: bisexual

Pronouns/gender: she/her

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: no

Nicknames: Britty, Britt, Unicorn

History: (if you’re changing your characters history and deciding not to keep it canon): it’s all canon.

•2•

Name/age: Santana Diabla Lopez; 19y

Sexuality: bisexual

Pronouns/gender: she/her female

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: no, I’m down with every ship.

Nicknames: San, Tana, Snixx, Satan, Sanny

History: (if you’re changing your characters history and deciding not to keep it canon): everything is canon except that Finn didn’t out her as a lesbian, but as bisexual. Oh, and she has anxiety.

•3•

Name/age: Katherine ‘katie’ Pillsbury Shuester; 19 years

Sexuality: pansexual

Pronouns/gender: she/her female

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: nope

Nicknames: Kath; K; Katie; Shuester; teacher’s pet (by Santana)

History: (if you’re changing your characters history and deciding not to keep it canon): she is Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury’s daughter. She had a nice life, but everybody seems to be waiting for her to snap and find out she has OCD like her mother, but she’s pretty sure she doesn’t.

After a threesome with two girls at a party she started questioning her sexuality, but she’s afraid to talk to someone about it because she’s afraid of what that might mean. But at some point she stopped denying and came out as pansexual.

Obviously, she was in glee club during high school and made some really good friends. She is nice, likes to see the bright side of every situation and likes to make new friends but she can also be really rude when she wants.

•4•

Name/age: Quinn, 19

Sexuality: Questioning

Pronouns/gender: She/Her Female

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: nope

Nicknames: Q

History: (if you’re changing your characters history and deciding not to keep it canon). keeping it canon, except when she hooked up with Santana she started questioning her sexuality

•5•

Name/age: Neo Broderick. He is 18

Sexuality: gay

Pronouns/gender: they/them; non binary

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: nothing with Karofsky

Nicknames: H, Hart

History: ...

•6•

Name/age: Blue, 18 years

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns/gender: he/him

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: not now

Nicknames: none

History: ..

•7•

Name/age: Marley Rose; 19 years

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns/gender: girl, she/her

Ship: maybe not jake coz I wasn’t a fan of him in the show

Nicknames: Marls

History: I don’t want to change the history

•8•

Name/age: Noah Puckerman

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns/gender: he/him male

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: no, it’s all cool

Nicknames: Puck, Puckerman, Pucky, any other nickname people want to give him in the gc

History: (if you’re changing your characters history and deciding not to keep it canon): everything is canon except that in season five he came out as bisexual.

•9•

Name/age: Kurt Elizabeth Hummel, 19

Sexuality: Gay

Pronouns/gender: He/Him

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: nothin w karofsky

Nicknames: Porcelain, K.

History: (if you’re changing your characters history and deciding not to keep it canon). None I can think of

•10•

Name/age: Sam Evans, 19 years old

Sexuality: pansexual

Pronouns/gender: he/him

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: nop

Nicknames: Sammy, Trouty Mouth, Samuel Jessica, Samantha (by Santana, of course)

History: (if you’re changing your characters history and deciding not to keep it canon): it’s all canon, but in season 4 he had a fling with Blaine, coming out as pansexual in season 5

•11•

Name/age: Hendrix Cooke

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns/gender: he/him

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: Should be fine honestly

Nicknames: dex, rix

History: ...

Face claim: nick roux

—————

•12•

Name/age: Tina Cohen Chang, 19

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns/gender: She/they non-binary

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: No

Nicknames: T, TT, Queen t, other Asian, girl Chang, etc.

History: during season3/4 she started having identity crisis, she didn’t feel like a girl, but she didn’t feel like a boy either. She was so confused and she looked in the mirror and said “I am a girl” every night, but sometimes it just didn’t feel right. She found out she was non-binary in some point during season 4 and came out as bisexual and non-binary at the same time.

—————

•13•

Name/age: Blaine Anderson, 19

Sexuality: Gay, but bisexual once he’s drunk

Pronouns/gender: he/him

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: no

Nicknames: B, Blainey, Squirt

History: (if you’re changing your characters history and deciding not to keep it canon). keeping it canon:))

—————

Name/age: Rachel Berry; 19y

Pronouns/gender: She/her female

Sexuality: bisexual

Is there a ship involving ur character u wouldn’t like to rp?: nope, it’s all cool!

Nicknames: Berry, Rach, Rachie, Dwarf, Hobbit, etc

History: ...

—————

•14•

Name/age: Mercedes Jones/19

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns/gender: She/Her

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: Not really.

Nicknames: Mercy, MJ, Cedes, and any other one that seems to fit.

History: Mercedes is Canon.

——————

Name/age: Sophie Johnson; 19 years

Sexuality: pansexual

Pronouns/gender: She/her female

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: nope

Nicknames: Soph; S; SoSo; any nickname that people wanna give her later.

History: (they said they’ll send me later)

————————

Name/age: Michael Robert Chang Jr. 18y

Sexuality: bisexual (came out before he graduated)

Pronouns/gender: he/him

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: nope

Nicknames: asian dancer, other asian

History (not obligatory): it’s all cannon

——————

Name/age: Isabela Lopez, 17

Sexuality: Bi, Prefers Girls

Pronouns/gender: She/Her, Female

Is there a ship involving your character you wouldn’t like to rp?: Not Necessarily

Nicknames: Is, Bel, Bela, Bels, Lopez, Mini Santana

History (not obligatory): Only joined the glee club because Santana made her. Has had a crush on Quinn since Q and San became friends and is very open about it. Never really came out just kind of is not straight and everyone knows. Fights with Santana sometimes but not too often. Has never been very smart in any way but makes jokes to make it seem like she doesn’t care when she sometimes does.

face claim: Olivia rodrigo

[contrabandhothead]

If you are still doing ships I would love one! I’m 4’11, curvy-fit, green eyes and black and blond long hair. Have been told I’m elf-ish which contributes to my nickname of Puck. Extremely blunt, no filter. I’m quiet unless I am comfortable, and my personality tends to change depending on who I am around. I can be bossy and come off as a real b*tch. I’m a big fan of yoga pants and tank tops, jeeps, and 80s rock.

- SKIP MUCK -

- [ general ]

me shipping you with Skip Muck? absolutely. i am a sucker for opposites attract, you know what you signed up for

i’m just gonna say it right now, Skip thinks you’re super hot when you’re being a bitch

he does not mind AT ALL (i also have been told that people think i’m a stone cold bitch when they first meet me, so rip cuz i felt that)

Skip doesn’t mind your change in personality, he understands people change with their environment

it’s kind of how he is too... most people would think he’d be super loud at home, but he’s actually pretty quiet

this man has... so many nicknames for you

including and not limited to: shortstack, Pucky, elf woman, fairy, smartass, HBIC, and boss lady

you usually just call him by his name, unless he’s being a little shit

then his name is bastard

Penk’s new nickname for him is fairy fucker

when he originally met you, he spent a lot of time trying to push your buttons

neither of you have a filter, but he has one more than you

spends a lot of time making sure you don’t murder people... he can often be found holding you back from punching Liebgott

rambles about how amazing you are ALL THE FREAKING TIME

Skip is a sucker for curvy-fit girls, he spends so much time telling you how beautiful you are

did someone say whipped???? yes, that happens to be Skip Muck

he pisses you off, but you love him anyways

- [ how you two met ]

now, as i mentioned before, Skip spent a lot of time pissing you off on purpose

you were a paratrooper, but you weren’t really close with Skip at first

actually, you were close with Lieb & Roe, and let’s just say you weren’t really fond of Muck when you first met him

i mean, i don’t blame you

he kept trying to break you out of your shell by pissing you off

he’d throw peas at you during dinner, poke you every 3 seconds, spit on your boots, etc.

and to be frank, you were getting sick and tired of it

one day, you were sitting in the dining hall once again, finishing your meal

the room was bustling with noise, and your ears were ringing from your headache

you just wanted a nap, but of course Skip just HAD to bother you today

“heyyyyyyy~ c’mon, don’t be shy now!” he grinned, continuing to poke your cheek with his spoon

“Skip, cut it out right now.”

you closed your eyes, attempting to calm yourself

you could feel the rage bubbling up in your chest, and you were about to explode

your patience finally broke when you felt the cool metal touch your cheek yet again

slamming your hands against the table, you rose to your feet

“for fuck’s sake Skip, you don’t ever stop! leave me alone!”

you stomped out of the dining hall, leaving Skip to contemplate his actions alone

he didn’t approach you until later that night, right before bed

he caught you while you were walking to the bathroom

“can we talk?” he muttered, grabbing your shoulder and spinning you around

you crossed your arms in front of your chest, raising a brow

“i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have done that, i should’ve left you alone the first time you asked me to. i didn’t mean to piss you off like that, i hope you can forgive me.” he fumbled over his words, clearly nervous about your response

you sighed, uncrossing your arms

“it’s fine, just please don’t do it again. we’re cool now, but if you ever do that again, i swear i’ll shove that spoon so far up your ass you’ll cough out pieces of it for the next year. ”

he just grinned in response

Thank you for letting me write you a ship! I hope you enjoyed this, I’m so sorry it took so long. Thank you for your patience, have a lovely week! 💕

[imaginebeatles]

Thanks for tagging me @princessleiaqueen! I decided to do it right away so I wouldn’t forget about it :) 

Nicknames?

Puckie (I don’t like it tho...), but @chut-je-dors calls me “bitch”, very lovingly, and “darling” 🥰

Real name?

Puck

Zodiac?

Cancer

Favourite artists?

The Beatles (obviously, what a shocker), and each of their solo stuff, and Wings, Simon and Garfunkel, Elton John, The Kinks, Fleetwood Mac, David Bowie, Donovan, Elvis Presley, Sufjan Stevens, Hozier, the Carpenters and more, just to name a few :) 

Favourite sports team?

I don’t watch sports 😂

Other blogs?

Got a more person one on which I dumb stuff that is not The Beatles, which you can find here, if you’re interested. 

Do you get asks?

Lately, yes a lot and I love it all, please keep them coming 🤗

How many blogs do you follow?

230 (I don’t know how many of them are active tho...)

Tumblr crushes?

There are some cool people on here :) 

Lucky number?

16

What are you wearing right now?

Black skinny jeans with a striped button down blouse. 

Dream vacation?

Scotland and Liverpool I love, but I also love city hopping, so I’d love to do that or do a road trip through Europe by car or by train. 

Dream?

I would love to some day end up living in a nice, two bedroom flat with lots of light in a more historic building in a lovely city (I would love Edinburgh), where I’d live with my girlfriend or boyfriend and two dogs and a cat. We’d both do work that we love and go out in the evenings, visit museums and see plays and other stuff like it, or we’d stay in and cook together in our pajamas and sit on the floor to eat, wrapped in blankets while we listen to some records with the doors to our french balcony open. 

Dream car?

I’d love a mini :) But I could also live without one. 

Favourite food?

Berries (like any kind, I love berries. strawberries, raspberries, blue berries, black berries, just all the berries), but I also love cheesecake and garlic bread. 

Drink of choice?

Tea

Instruments?

Piano (though I haven’t been keeping it up.... I really should...), guitar, and ukulele.

Languages?

Dutch, English, German (trying to learn some French)

Celebrity crushes?

Paul McCartney, Hugh Grant (especially from the 80s and 90s), Jane Asher, and Jude Law. I used to have more, but they’re kinda gone now, and I haven’t gotten any new ones to add... Other celebs that I used to have crushes on but less so nowadays, but I still think are honestly so pretty are Natalie Portman (though I still love her) Keira Knightley, Rachel McAdams, Jane Birkin, Anne Hathaway (especially in that photoshoot of her wearing suits, just 👌), and Audrey Hepburn  

Random fact?

I own three sgt pepper LPs :) 

I tag: @chut-je-dors, @smothermeinrelish, @shippingmclennon, @mccartneyvinyl, @flamingpie, @waveofahand. If anyone else wants to, you’re welcome to! 😊

[colormemused]

[ t e x t s ⇄ 🚮 p u c k t a n a ]

NP: 75% of my food budget goes to beer, the rest to chips and salsa.

SL: In other words, nothing has changed since high-school?

SL: And let me guess, the other 25% goes to the general necessities of being a castlepunk loser - cigarettes, and parts for a beat up ‘95 jetta that looks like a box car

SL: You’re literally doing as unphenomanal as people thought you would post-high school. Nice.

[a few moments later...]

SL: But like, what kinda beer? I could use a cold one right about now...

NP: ok first of all its not just a box car. it’s a souped up box car. besides, it’s like, ‘like father like son’: i’m a badass motherpucker, so my car’s gotta b badass

NP: secondly – yeh pretty much how’d u guess? oh u forgot to throw herb in my budget. also apple jacks. very important

NP: but that’s me, baby babyyy noah the puckster pucky puck puckerman. phucking peoples up and soaring under their radar since 1994. glad i can live up to expectations lopez

NP: now u got anything else nice to say or u gonna fuck off ?

[bloodyarn]

*does a walk of shame into babette's tent* *his makeup is runny from crying* Babs I Need. a Hug

    𝙻𝙴𝚃𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚂 .   unprompted interactions

   To see Puck so shattered lets her forget to take a breath.     Oh god, his eyes are so red, did he cry   ?     ❝ Pucky what-- Is everything okay   ? ? ❞     Hastily making her way over to the half-elf, leaving everything she was working on for the moment behind  &  forgotten.

A doe-eyed look drifted upwards when the seamstress reached out, both hands tentatively taking his way bigger paws, squeezing, reassuring. That's her darling   !   Her sad little darling   !

     ❝ Ooooh, don't be sad Puck. Look, I am here   !   You like when I am here, right   ?   What got you in such a mood   ? ❞    The bhaalspawn basically asked for a hug, and a hug he will get. Face pressed against his chest while arms wait no second longer to finally wrap around the man's torso. Only evil people would dare to make him sad.

[brooklynpuck]

Text 📱 Sarah

Sarah: If you keep eating all those donuts no one will want to date you.

Puck: Well good morning to you too.

Puck: And I'm not trying to date anyone right now.

Sarah: I'm sure you need to 'find yourself' or whatever people say when their engagement ends two days before their wedding.

Sarah: You ruined my chances to drink, just so you know, mom was going to let me drink wine.

Puck: What kind of Lifetime shit is ma letting you watch?

Puck: Good, I'm glad, you'd turn into a lush and I'd really have to lock you in the attic.

Sarah: Don't be mad at Lifetime b.c your life sucks, Lifetime never did anything to you.

Sarah: Try it and I'll cut you.

Puck: I'm impressed and slightly scared.

Sarah: Good

Sarah: For real though, how are you doing?

Puck: I'm alright, it wasn't going to work out. Don't marry someone you haven't dated very long.

Puck: On second thought, don't marry anyone, become a nun.

Sarah: I didn't want to say anything b.c you were love drunk, but... She wasn't right for you. Plus I kind of didn't like her all that much...Oops.

Sarah: We're Jewish, you idiot.

Puck: I think we can kind of agree on that at this point.

Puck: Semantics

Sarah: She called your bus stupid and all the other stuff that I'm sure she said and you wouldn't tell me, so I wouldn't like her much either if I was you.

Sugar: I'm going to tell mom and nana that you want me to become a Catholic.

Puck: I didn't tell you b.c you're 15 and you're a Puckerman. You'd go to her parents house and burn it down or something. Plus I'm not trying to make people hate her.

Puck: Jerk

Sarah: I guess you have a point.

Sarah: And proud.

Sarah: Just let me know if you want to talk or whatever.

Puck: Will do.

Puck: Love you, you jerk.

Sarah: Love you too, Pucky.

[theno1noahpuckerman]

Jeck-Jess-x-Puck

Tagging: Noah Puckerman x Jessica Martin

Where: Puck and Jess’s room.

contents: Puck’s first arrival into the island, just Random Jess and Puck bonding times

Puck:

Puck paced around the living area his nerves were on the fritz, he was anxious, he felt a little nauseous  being in a strange place, not knowing if his sister was okay not knowing if he was going to see her again and trying to figure out what had happened from the time he walked out of his apartment and into this world. Was this that one place with that goat man and the snow bitch. He sure hoped not eternal winter would seem annoying. He just about jumped when he heard someone stirring. "Shit, who are you?" He asked the woman hoping this time she would actually answer him this time.May 4, 2020

Jess:

Today the former rock star dawned blue hair; head cocked to the side as she took a long drag from her cigarette. "Jessica Martin, also known as Jess Diabolus, Princess of Darkness leader singer of the group Female Antichrist. A feminist alt rock band with a satanic flavor. Part time Scream Queen, been in a couple B movies. But now I am a switch, and have no idea what my live entails. " another drag of the cigarette as she yawned. "And you sir????"

Puck:

Puck blinked. "Okay...well your majesty, Princess of darkness perhaps you care to tell me where I am? if this is hell are you the one whose gonna torture me for eternity then I am very much okay with this. Noah Puckerman. Switch I guess, Busser and future action movie star and #1 badass." He claimed.

Jess:

"Ohhh I like that. Your Majesty, maybe I should have people call me that instead of Miss Martin. That was totally my Mom." smoke plumed from her lips, as she leaned back into her chair. "I don't think think this is hell." she giggled a little bit at the flirtatious comment, playfully her tongue stuck out. "And I only torture with consent lovely. But I promise, it is a good time for all." long fake eyelashes fluttered in his direction as she snuffed out her cigarette out. "From what I gather this is a pocket dimension; seperate from our world. The how and why of that, I am not sure. still working on those calculations.....And while I may not be your torturer as of yet, I am your roommate. So, shall we drink some champange ....get to know each other?"

Puck

Puck raised a brow. "Oh? so you want me to call you 'You Majesty or Miss Martin then?' He wondered and laughed. "Well how do I know I'm not? but I guess whatever this is could be worse. " He said "Whoa well do we at least get a Tardis? Then this would be worth it." He claimed and he chuckled. "That's good to know maybe i'll take you up on that one of these days." He winked at her and he nodded. "Alright sure I can use one, thank you and hopefully you can tell me more about this place. deal?" He suggested.

Jess:

"You my good Pucky, are allowed to call me Jess, or J. For now anyway." Laughter tumbled from her lips, as she got up and and got two glasses. She poured them both glasses, before sitting back down. "Doctor Who fan? I might be myself.....I'm a sucker for a time travel." she offered him his glass. "I don't know much. Spent my first week here drunk. Hit on seriously everyone with a pulse. Mega embarassing. But what I have so far is we were transported into this pocket dimension. It has a mix between an authoritian and bondage and domination rule? Also like add a splash of Orwellian nightmare......That is totally what we are living in right now. The rest we're gonna have to figure out together.

_

Jess:

There was a pout on the glittered up satanic bombshells face. "I cant decide what bikini to weeeaarrr....." she held up to glasses of whiskey. "Help me?" 

Puck:

Puck laughed. "Yeah sure, I'll help Jess." He told her as he walked over to her and took one of the glasses. "Alright, show me the options, beautiful." He prompted with a nod to her room. "Or did you want me to wait out here, put on a bit of a show for me?" He asked with a wink.

Jess:

She smiled as her head cocked to the side. Noah really was growing to be one of her favorite people. Glitter painted lips took a sip of her glass. Easily she slipped into a pose and smiled. "Do you wanna show big boy? Cause I can give you a show." she teased back, giving him a gentle nudge towards the couch.

Puck:

Puck looked over at her before moving to sit on the couch. He laughed. "Is that not what I said but come on you asked for my opinion and as an ex poolboy I might just have a good eye for swim wear now, come on, Jess."

Jess:

She popped into her room, head popped out for a moment. "Oh your in for it!" in a little bit she popped out in a neon blue string bikinni. With a bounce in her step as she strutted into the room. Body still decorated with glitter, and still dripped with her regular diamond necklaces. the ones she hadn't taken off since she bought them with her first check the band made. she was happy she hadn't left them at home. As for the bikini , t was certianly revealing albiet rather plane. "This is like an old faithful...Shows a lot of skin...but I feel like it has no umph....I mean I have my jewerly and the glitter.....but I feel like I should be head to two umph you know?" she did a little spin and a bounce.

Puck:

Puck tilted his head and smirked. "Oh is that right?" He laughed and gave her a once over when she walked out well maybe it's good. You don't want to distract from what you already have, beautiful but turn around and smirked as she bounced. "You know what? I like it."

Jess:

Laughter tumbled from her lips as she bounced next to him. She leaned against him, her head on his shoulder and sighed. "Thanks for putting up with my eccentricities.... You are a good egg."

Puck:

Puck shook his head. "It's fine, Jess I could have ended up with a worst Roommate. You aren't so bad and thanks for calling me an egg."He teased. "But honestly I think you'll be fine. I can't wait for this party it'll be nice make a few friends here besides you and guess me and Sebastian are friends" He said thoughtfully. "Or I guess drinking buddies don't know if that counts. " He smirked.

Jess: 

"Ugh, same. I finally feel like Im getting into a groove here. Like people are finally starting to see me. Not me being somebody's ex girlfriend." she smiled as she got up and began to peel off the bathing suit. "Okay I have at least one more I want you to see." she popped back into her room. Only to come back in a crystal studded bikini. "Too much? And also tell me about this Sébastian...."

Puck:

Puck nodded his understanding at that. "Oh I get that, glad they are seeing you I mean how can people not see you.  of course, I sort of aways grooved to my own tune. " He nodded as he watched her leaving admiring her back side and smiled when she walked out. "No I like that one, it's awesome and Sebastian? you never met him before? Well dudes pretty cool bought me tacos my first night" He smiled at her.

Jess:

She flopped down next to him again, now that her wardrobe has been decided. His kind words brought a smile to her face, and she leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Im glad your my roommate. No I haven't. I upset him a lil bit in chat though. Cause i said cum cow...." she snuggled up against him.May 10, 2020

Puck:

"Well likewise, your royal Darkyness." He snorted as he heard what she said. "A cum cow?Okay that is that best thing I've heard." Puck wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "So how is that bakery of yours coming along?"May 11, 2020

Jess:

Laughter tumbled from her lips, as she leaned her head against his shoulder. "Right? I didnt think it was that bad.. " she smiled as she looked up at him. "If i work two jobs for a month... And save up capital..theyll let me open it. How exciting is that?"

-----------

Jess:

Jess had cooked several batches of brookies upon request of the residents. It amazed her they never had the concotion before. It was a personal favorite of hers. Brght pink hair was wrapped up in a messy but and she was wearing an over sized t-shirt that said ' Antichrist Super Star'. With a bottle of cheap champange in one hand, and brookies in the other she made her way into his room. With a small smile, she placed her goodies next to the bed. "Are you ready for the supreme cuddle monster?" @Mega(Tanner, Spice Motta)

Puck:

Puck was unsure how to take Shane being here but for now Jess had offered him sweets. He laughed as he took in her wardrobe. "Hm, I like it." He nodded. "Yeah I'm more then ready for the cuddle monster. He took one of the treats and you know if you still need money for that bakery of yours maybe I'll put in a little donation.

Jess:

She wasn't wearing make up, after all she was just laying in the other room. Most people she wouldn't allow to see her like this. But, Puck was different. When he said she liked it, she smiled and posed. Once she finished posing, she climbed into the bed with him. Arms wrapped around him from behind, and she leaned her chin on his shoulder. "I'm big spoon." she giggled sweetly.May 12, 2020

Puck:

Puck followed her into the room and moved to lay down next to her with a bit of sigh. He let her hug him and sighed. "Thank you, Love." He laughed as he relaxed at the feeling of the girls arms around him. "I really did need this, so my sister, huh? So weird huh?" He shook his head as he let out a breathe he felt he had been holding in all day but there was still a knot in his stomach.

Jess:

"It's no problem. It's what I'm here for." She pulled him closer, tighter. Gently she placed a soft kiss against his cheek. "Yeah. But that is the thing about living in a pocket dimension sweetness. She could be your sister from another dimension, or another time line. We have no idea. The mutilverse is quite large..." acrlyic nails began to run up and down his arm gently. "Even so, it's alot to deal with I know."May 17, 2020

Puck:

Puck shook his head with a laugh. "Well, I guess I got lucky I was given you as a roommate, Jessicakes." He frowned a little. "Not sure if it makes it any better but she did know my dad's name so maybe but it certainly is kinda getting a bit crowded here, isn't it?" He replied and closed his eyes enjoying her touch. "But I'm not even really mad at her it's just never really tried to think about my dad's 'other family'. So it's weird being stuck on an island with one of them." He told her.Message #jeck-jess-and-puck

[peaches-of-1]

Theatre Girl: Chapter 1- Roses

Theatre Boy: Prologue | Chapter 1

Theatre They: Prologue | Chapter 1

Mondays and Tuesdays were your off days, but today was Saturday which meant two shows. It was 10 am when your alarm woke you up and 10:15 am when you finally got up to take a shower after picking your outfit.

During your shower, you belted out the playlist of the newest version of Once on This Island. There was still blue body paint stuck to the floor that you rubbed with your big toe to get it down the drain. You dried off and put on your clothes while still in the bathroom. You decided to wear a skirt today. You'd been wearing skirts more often since you had to wear tights every night.

By 11:02, you were in the cafeteria for lunch since call was at noon. You had your messenger bag filled with your hoodie and some snacks since you wouldn't be leaving the auditorium building today. Zendaya called you over and was eating with Auli’i who played Helena.

“Hey, guys, what's up?”

Auli’i spoke, “No much, but hurry and get your food. We've got questions for you.”

“Um, sure, ok.” You wondered what kind of questions they had as you went up to get your meal. Probably something about a theatre assignment or the play itself.

Pizza and fries, lots of unsalted French fries went onto your plate. There was also some pasta you hadn't seen before and wanted to try out. After getting some ketchup, you returned to your friends. Hobi was now at the table with a plate featuring a cheeseburger and under seasoned rice. You must have just missed him in the food lines.

“Oh, hey, Hobi.” You smiled.

“Did they ask you yet?” He took a sip of watery sprite.

You shook your head and responded, “Nope. Let me get my drink and sit and you can ask me whatever.”

You got your drink--which was your favorite soda mixed with fruit punch--and told them to go ahead with their questions. Then you sipped your drink.

“Did Namjoon, I mean Mr. Kim. Did he ask you on a date, and did you say yes?”

It took you a moment for you to respond since you didn't wanna do a spit take.

“What?” You coughed. “No! No to both of those. He just said I was one of the greatest Pucks he had ever seen. Gave me his card which I didn't know people still did.”

Zendaya widened her eyes, “You could be one of the greatest fucks he’s ever had!”

“Did you call or message him?” Hoseok asked.

“No?” You took bite of your pizza.

“And why not? He's hot, single, likes girls, and he totally wants you.” Auli’i commented.

As per usual, your response to any notion of somebody being into you, you laughed. You covered your mouth so that no food would fly out. “First of all, he said to call him for help with my acting career. Second, he does not 'want me', Louie.”

“Uh, yell hea he does. Ouch!" Zendaya shot Hobi a glare. "Well, I'm not wrong.”

He sighed, “Anyways, what do you think the crowd's gonna be like tonight?”

You were the type of girl who didn't get asked on dates or invited to parties. You just happened to be friends with those types of people. Yeah, college had made you more open, but there was still a fundamental shyness to you.

It was weird, not really paying attention to the conversation at hand but being in your head, but this is who you were. You were weird to say the least. Awkward. Which is why your high school drama department became your home, a place where you had support for the quirks that you had because there were people there with the same quirks, awkwardness, shyness. They liked you for you. Still, no romance or even lust.

So, you just knew that no one was into you like the girls were suggesting. Anyways, if Mr. Kim was into you, why not just say it? Tell you to call him? Ask you on a date? He was out of your league, so he didn’t have to be shy around you. Nope. Just not into you. Oh, but if he were. He was so sexy and really nice. His touch on your back had been so gentle.

“What about you, (Y/N)?” Hobi asked, facing you.

“Huh?” You asked, fork full of pasta in your mouth.

“What do you expect from tonight’s audience? I hope they’re reactive.”

“Oh.” You said, quickly chewing and swallowing the food. “Uh, I think it’s gonna have the most kids since it’s a weekend. Maybe some repeats.”

Before you know it, you were all getting your makeup done. The foundation and base, everyone did on their own. You had done yours after getting dressed. Yoongi Oberon had to get leaves pressed onto his beautiful face, so the actual makeup artists did that.

Your glitter had to be neat, so an artist did that. They also painted your arms without the costume dirty. It was like magic, and you’re pretty sure it was.

Jimin had taken the chair next to you to tie his shoes. He smiled at you and asked, “So, did anything happen between you and Mr. Kim?”

The artist smiled and did a little laugh.

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? And no. It was all just business and career pushing stuff.”

“Well, he did wink at you and give you candy.”

“To share.”

The cutie made an accepting noise, “Well, I think you’d be super cute together.”

You smiled, “Not as cute as you.”

He giggled, and you snuck a peek at his blushing face, “Awww, you’re so nice.”

The artist told you to close your eyes and hold your breath, as she stood you up. Then gave everyone a hairspray warning. Then she sprayed it on and fanned it away. Classic theatre smell. Another was what Titania aka Claire was doing, curling her hair as that German Reggae played.

The guy who requested it was jamming along with it. Singing along as he darkened his eyebrows since they were so blonde. You saw Yoongi putting on his arm drape cape things and leaned on his back.

“I’m so tired.”

“You’re not the only one, Pucky poo.” He turned around and looked at his arms. Do you think they’re even?

You poked out your lips as you looked and then reached for his left arm, “This needs to be a bit higher to match.” You squeezed his muscle. “I’m so glad you have these, so we can do the lifts.” You hugged them and smiled. “Too much?”

“It’s perfectly fine for you to hug my biceps.” He laughed, “Speaking of lifts, I had an idea for a new one. You can come over to my place this Monday, and we can work on it?”

“I think Edith will get mad if we try to pull anything new this far in.” You said, letting go of his arm.

“Well, it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.”

You pointed at him, “True. We can at least try it for fun.”

Yoongi smiled, “Awesome!”

Seulgi announced 5 minutes to warm ups. You and Yoongi did your quick little stretch and made solid plans for Monday. Hoseok touched your neck and you nearly hit him. He apologized and said he was only trying to fix a braid that had gotten stuck to another braid.

Then warm up time. He grabbed your hand and you two ran up the stairs. He was such a silly boy. Good heart and just wanted to do warm ups next to you on stage. Then it was time to practice lifts with Oberon, glitter with the leads, and clean up some cues.

House opened and it was show time.

Jae Theseus held his bride-to-be Nayeon Hippolyta’s hand and entered, “Our wedding day is almost here, my beautiful Hippolyta. We’ll be getting married in four days, on the day of the new moon...”

Green path. Blackout. Clapping and then break. You let out the largest sigh when plopping down in the now actor’s only hallway to eat some trail mix. “That was not as bad as it could’ve been.”

Several people nearly fell due to one of the hand-holds on a set piece being broken. The set crew was putting on a new one now since they didn’t have the supplies during intermission.

Yoongi sat next to you, “Sorry for almost dropping you today. I was thinking about my line.”

“I’m ok. Still a bit shaken, but you caught me. It is our most dangerous one, so it’s understandable.”

Hoseok thought differently, “There you are! You nearly dropped (Y/N) out there today! She is more important than any of your lines.”

“Says the guy who missed half of them.”

“I was worried about my best friend! You can quickly recover from lines but she could’ve gotten seriously hurt.” 

“I’ve already gotten this speech from the director, I don’t need it from you too. I feel bad enough as it is. The last thing I wanna do is hurt her.” He looked at you. “It won’t happen again.”

You gave him a smile since you didn’t wanna say it was ok or tell him not to make promises he can’t keep. Theatre was full of chances. Mistakes. You had another show. Another chance. Not for the same audience, but that was fine.

Seulgi, with her hair in two braids, put a hand on his shoulder, “We’ll make sure of it. I want you guys to run that lift set again. Right now.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He said and you did.

As you passed by Hobi, you squeezed his hand and said you were fine. There was so much concern on his face, and in his voice. The experience was scary, but you knew you’d ok. You at least hoped really hard.

“And make her full of hateful fantasies.”

You were lifted onto his shoulders and made to sit there, feet hooked on his armpits. He handed you a flower after enchanting it.

“Take thou some of it, and seek through this grove: A sweet Athenian lady is in love With a disdainful youth” You stood on his shoulders now, matching his folded arm pose and facial expression.

“Anoint his eyes; But do it when the next thing he espies May be the lady:” There was the pop, and you jumped into his arms where he flipped you onto the floor in a standing position. Then your bodies made like a snaking X as you looked at each other. “Thou shalt know the man By the Athenian garments he hath on.”

You nodded and started to skip away, but he grabbed your arm with a sort of ‘I’m not done yet’ attitude, and pulled you into his embrace. You were leaned back a lot as he towered over you. “Effect it with some care, that he may prove More fond on her than she upon her love: And look thou meet me ere the first cock crow.”

He looked up to the sky and you saluted, “Fear not, my lord, your servant shall do so.” After a quick bow, you two leaped off the stage.

Everyone clapped and the Stage Manager told you that’s how it’s supposed to be done and had you run it twice more before finishing your break. You could have really used a nap then.

Jimin met you when you were at the bottom of the stairs, “I wish I could hug you right now, but the paint.” He held your hand instead. “I really love when you do that, you know. It’s so awesome and accentuates the points that need to be paid attention to.”

“Thanks, buddy.” You said with a smile.

“You also look really hot when you do it.”

You were taken aback and blushed, “Oh, uh, uh, thanks. It’s the makeup.”

“Mmm, that’s part of it, but you’re always attractive, (Y/N). I think I might have a crush on you.”

“You’re too nice. I’m just me.” You reply, pinching his chin and sipping water, hoping to calm down.

After the second show, your name was called while wiping off the makeup. You looked up and Auli’i brought you a white basket packed with roses. “He’s not into you, my ass. Read the card.”

You picked up the card that was in the middle.

To the most honest Puck. If you want me to come to another show, just let me know. I want to see you again. ~Namjoon

Your cheeks got warm. What was this? “He--he. Um, he just means he wants to see me perform again.”

“In nothing but lace, I’m sure of it. Maybe only biting one of these roses.” Zendaya said, taking a rose out and putting it between her teeth.

“You lucky, minx.” Clair said with a smile on her face. “He’s so into you. I know, invite him to the cast party.”

“If you really want him to like you, tell him to come to the last showing and the party. He could even drive you there, take a detour and then hack you into little Puck sized pieces.” Yoongi said.

Hoseok added on, “He’d kiss her first. That’s how much he likes her. Then he’s kill her. He’s a complete stranger. Isn’t he getting attached too quickly?”

Key sighed, “Ignore them. If you wanna see where this goes, invite him. Last show, cast party. I support this.”

Taemin agreed, “It might even be love at first sight. Wouldn’t that be adorable?”

You bit your lip and thought. Everyone was surrounding you, but it wasn’t a bad thing. A bit stressful, but nothing compared to what you did on the stage.

“Sure. I’ll ask him. That doesn’t mean he’ll say yes.”

Almost everyone squealed and cheered. Then Seulgi kicked y’all out to go home because it was time to go home. You really wanted to get some sleep, but you had to wash the paint off. After hopping out of the shower, you sent Mr. Kim a text.

You weren’t expecting him to reply. It was late, after all.

You were surprised. Wait a minute...he said yes? To both. He said he wanted to come to the party and because he wanted to be invited to another show, he was coming. He actually...might have liked you. Drama queen that you were, he wanted you.

He was probably just being nice. Still, you sent him the location after confirming it with your group chat. You didn’t tell them you were doing it for Mr. Kim. They would get the news tomorrow since you were too tired to deal with their hype right now.

Was that...a heart? He sent you a heart emoji. Right next to your name, no space. Your millennial brain was freaking out. You sent a star because it was night time. He sent a heart. You almost threw your phone against the wall. Instead, you just dropped it.

Ok, wow. Now you had to go to bed. There was nothing more to say. You were too nervous to carry on a conversation. Oh goodness. Maybe...maybe you shouldn’t have done that. But it was done now.

It was a week until the last show. You looked at the roses on your desk and read the card again. Hoseok texted you, saying he couldn’t get to sleep and asked if you wanted to watch a movie. You lived in the same dorm building, same floor. He was just on the other side, so you said sure.

You grabbed your blanket and walked the hallways in your pajamas. Your eyes didn’t stay open for long as you snuggled up next to him on the mess of pillows on his floor. This was a common thing for you two since you had known him for a while. Hoseok was your best friend after all.

[flauntpage]

DGB Grab Bag: Goodbye Jagr, Hello Whalers, and Brad Marchand, Comedy Star?

Three Stars of Comedy (All-Star weekend edition)

The All-Star weekend is weird. It's pretty much the only time all year that NHL players are allowed to show any personality, or at least try to. Some jump at the opportunity. Most don't. And the results are always hit-and-miss.

It's been especially tough to find a good laugh at the event ever since the NHL dropped the breakaway challenge that had some of the stars playing dress-up or otherwise getting creative. And no, we're not going to go with this year's Wes McCauley's offside review announcement, because the fact that the NHL had an offside review in an all-star game was just sad. But even if we're grading on a curve, we'll hand out some points for effort at this year's event.

The third star: Erik Karlsson and Victor Hedman – Their pirate costume routine was fun, at least as long as it wasn't foreshadowing a Karlsson-to-Tampa trade that would basically guarantee the Lightning a Cup. But the real star was this quote from Karlsson.

The second star: Brian Mach's grandmother – Mach is an NHL linesman who got to work all-star weekend for the first time. Grandma was not impressed.

The first star: Brad Marchand – Yeah, he wouldn't have been my pick to steal the show either. But by embracing the heel role, Marchand at least looked like he was having fun. From his sarcastic waving to to his over-the-top injury faking, Marchand came across as… well, not remotely likable, but at least vaguely self-aware. In the NHL, that's something.

Overall, we'll give the weekend a C+. Ah well. While only a few of their All-Stars were all that interesting, at least we still have Jaromir Jagr, right? Now to take a big sip of water and move on to the next section…

Outrage of the Week

The issue: Jaromir Jagr has been released by the Calgary Flames and signed with a team in the Czech league, all but certainly spelling the end of his NHL career. The outrage: NOOOOO! Is it justified: We knew it was coming. We had plenty of time to prepare. We should be OK with this.

We are not OK with this.

And I feel pretty safe saying "we," because over the years Jagr somehow morphed into a universally beloved figure among hockey fans. He'd basically taken over Teemu Selanne's role as the guy that just about nobody disliked. Even Penguin fans who weren't over the whole 2011 bait-and-switch, or Capitals fans still trying to figure out how he went from perennial Art Ross winner to "guy it makes sense to trade straight-up for Anson Carter" overnight were mostly OK with him by now.

That's a weird twist on a memorable career, given how Jagr arrived in the NHL. Back in the early 90s, when he arrived as Mario Lemieux's sidekick and immediately won two Cups in his first two seasons, plenty of us didn't like him. He was the poster child for a certain kind of flashy European player that we were having trouble getting used to. The NHL was a league where you weren't supposed to smile if you scored a goal; having your own trademark celebration was basically a felony violation of The Code. So even when he took over from Mario as the league's best player, we loved seeing him get his comeuppance.

He just didn't get it very often. The Washington debacle seemed to spell the end of him as a legitimate superstar, but then came his rebirth with the post-lockout Rangers. Little did we know he had another dozen years left. He spent a few of those in the KHL, and that and the two seasons' worth of time he lost to Gary Bettman's lockouts might have cost him a run at the all-time goals crown. The fact that we can even conceive of that for a guy who played 80 percent of his career in the Dead Puck era is ridiculous. Even better, he emerged as one of the game's better personalities, and both he and we loosened up over the years.

But now it's over. Probably. Nobody would be completely shocked if Jagr showed up again some time next season for one more run. We've been here before, after all. But this time feels different. This really does feel like the end.

So thank you, Jaromir. Father Time catches up to us all eventually, but you sure made him work for it. We'll see you in the Hall of Fame in three years or so. And until then, we'll always have your awkward draft day and your ridiculous highlight-reel goals and yes, the image of your injured groin slathered in peanut butter. It's been a trip.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Today marks the 41st anniversary of one of the weirder record-breaking performances in NHL history: Maple Leafs defenseman Ian Turnbull's five-goal game. Not surprisingly, it's the only time a blueliner has ever scored five times in a single game; even hat tricks by defensemen are relatively rare, with only 42 players managing the feat in the last 30 years. Many of those names are the ones you'd expect, like Al MacInnis, Paul Coffey, and Shea Weber. A few are not, including this week's obscure player: Deron Quint.

Quint was a second-round pick by the Jets in the 1994 draft. He made his debut during the 1995-96 season, the team's last in Winnipeg, and held down a regular roster spot in Phoenix before being dealt to the Devils for Lyle Odelein at the 2000 deadline. His stay in New Jersey didn't last long, as he was dealt to the expansion Blue Jackets that offseason. He'd spend two years in Columbus before bouncing around the league for several seasons, making stops with the Blackhawks, Islanders, and Coyotes (again). His NHL days ended in 2007, but he continued his career in Europe for another decade, earning all-star honors in the KHL.

Quint was never much of a goal scorer, at least at the NHL level; he had only 46 in his career, and his high for a single season was just seven. But he briefly found his scoring touch on March 9, 2001, recording the hat trick in a 7-6 Blue Jackets win over the Panthers. All three goals came in the second period.

Oddly enough, that's not even the strangest Deron Quint goal-scoring feat. As a rookie in December 1995, Quint matched a six-decades-old NHL record by managing to score two goals in four seconds. How does a defenseman pull that off? As you'll see below, a little bit of luck helps.

The NHL Carolina Hurricanes Actually Got Something Right

The Hurricanes have a new owner. He's a 46-year-old billionaire named Tom Dundon, and so far he's been saying all the right things about wanting to win and keeping the team in Carolina. That's a positive development for a long-suffering fan base, but for the most part it doesn't really matter much to anyone else. The Hurricanes will continue their playoff push, they'll keep being that one team you always forget is in the Metro, and Canadians will continue to make up stories about them being on the verge of moving to Quebec. New ownership is a nice enough development, but that's about all it is.

Well, until this week. Because now we know that Dundon is toying with the idea of bringing back the Hartford Whalers.

Well, not the actual team. But Dundon would apparently like to reestablish the team's ties to its own history. That means selling Whalers merchandise, and maybe even playing games wearing the old uniforms (which were recently voted the league's second-best ever).

And, by far most importantly of all, the glory that is Brass Bonanza. It's back.

Hell yeah. In a sports world where retro is all the rage, this just seems like common sense, and it's a surprise that the NHL's various relocated teams don't do more of this sort of thing. You can understand not wanting to jump into right away, when fans in your old city are still recovering from the loss of a team; you don't want to wipe their face in it. And in cases like the Coyotes and Stars, where the old city eventually got another team, then you may not want to step on any toes.

But at this point it feels pretty safe to say that the NHL isn't heading back to Hartford anytime soon. So bring on the green and white. Find out what Pucky the Whale is up to these days. And by all means, blare that beautiful Brass Bonanza every chance you get.

(And be sure to crank it up extra loud whenever Brian Burke and the Flames are in town.)

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

We're one week away from the start of the Winter Olympics, which won't feature NHL players for the first time in 24 years. That's disappointing, and it's going to make the tournament a tough sell, no matter what those intellectual eggheads in the New York Times try to tell you. Still, we might as well make the best of it. So today, let's look back at the last pre-NHL gold medal game from 1994, as Canada and Sweden face off in one of the most memorable games in international history.

Oh yeah, we're doing this in Swedish. I probably should have mentioned that up front. Or not mentioned it at all, and just let you go through the whole clip thinking you were having a stroke.

But yeah, this is the clip from the Swedish broadcast, because everything sounds better in Swedish. Don't worry, though, I'm sure the announcers will be professional and stay impartial.

Our clip begins with about two minutes left in regulation. Everyone knows this game for the shootout, but not many remember that Canada had scored twice in the third period to take a 2-1 lead and were less than two minutes away from winning gold. Poor Derek Mayer. He scored the second Canadian goal that would have been the winner if the lead had held. Mayer was two minutes from being a national hero. Instead he's the guy who played 17 games for the expansion Senators. This sport can be cruel.

Sweden is on the powerplay because international hockey is always rigged against Canada. Man, those benches are in a weird place. One of those Team Canada players could reach over and grab the Swedish guy as he works the boards. Probably should have, in hindsight.

Sweden ties it on a goal by defenseman Magnus Svensson, which is 100 percent the name you'd come up with if you had to make up a fake Swedish identity for the cops and you panicked. It's very subtle, but you can pick up a little bit of excitement from our announcers, one of who screams a very aggressive "YEAH." Or I guess it's "JA." Either way, he seems happy.

We cut ahead to the shootout, and it's Magnus Svensson again. Or maybe it's not the same guy and most of the Swedish roster was just named "Magnus Svensson." I kind of hope it's that. Anyway, he scores on a gorgeous deke, leading to another "JA."

Wait, a defenseman got to take a turn in the shootout? What kind of Olympic coach would ever let something like that happen?

Next up is Forsberg, although this isn't the famous shot we all remember. He does score, though, beating Corey Hirsch on a nifty move. It's so nice that we skip the traditional "JA" and go straight to "OY YO YO YO." I don't care what language you speak, that's a flat-out fun thing to yell. I'm using that in my everyday life.

Next up is Forsberg again, because the Swedes snuck him in for a second shot even though it's against the rules and they should have to forfeit and Canada retroactively wins gold WHOOO! [checks earpiece] OK I'm being reminded that international hockey allows players to shoot more than once. You win this round, Sweden. Literally, as it turns out.

Forsberg beats Hirsch with the Peter Forsberg Move, which… I mean, how do you not see that coming, am I right?

This is the famous goal that would wind up on a postage stamp. Fun fact: The goalie in that stamp is wearing blue instead of Team Canada red because Hirsch refused to let them use his likeness and threatened to sue. He's since said that he regrets that, but I always liked it. It's the equivalent of making your friend delete that embarrassing photo of you looking stupid, except at an international level. I can respect that.

Needless to say, Forsberg's goal gets an extended OY YO YO YO from our two announcers as we head to the replays. I forgot how close Hirsch was to stopping that. Usually when The Forsberg works, it's into a wide-open net. But Hirsch is right with it the whole way and gets his glove down in the perfect spot. He's just a fraction of a second too late. Hockey, man.

That's it for our clip, which doesn't show Paul Kariya's game-ending miss and the subsequent celebration, presumably because our two announcers dove out of the booth to join it. It was Sweden's first ever gold medal; they'd win another with (mostly) NHL players in 2006. Can they do it again this year? Nobody knows, because we have no idea what to expect from this tournament. But if it's as entertaining as the 1994 gold medal game, will it be worth watching? I'm going to ahead and say ja.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you'd like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: Goodbye Jagr, Hello Whalers, and Brad Marchand, Comedy Star? published first on https://footballhighlightseurope.tumblr.com/

[amtushinfosolutionspage]

DGB Grab Bag: Goodbye Jagr, Hello Whalers, and Brad Marchand, Comedy Star?

Three Stars of Comedy (All-Star weekend edition)

The All-Star weekend is weird. It’s pretty much the only time all year that NHL players are allowed to show any personality, or at least try to. Some jump at the opportunity. Most don’t. And the results are always hit-and-miss.

It’s been especially tough to find a good laugh at the event ever since the NHL dropped the breakaway challenge that had some of the stars playing dress-up or otherwise getting creative. And no, we’re not going to go with this year’s Wes McCauley’s offside review announcement, because the fact that the NHL had an offside review in an all-star game was just sad. But even if we’re grading on a curve, we’ll hand out some points for effort at this year’s event.

The third star: Erik Karlsson and Victor Hedman – Their pirate costume routine was fun, at least as long as it wasn’t foreshadowing a Karlsson-to-Tampa trade that would basically guarantee the Lightning a Cup. But the real star was this quote from Karlsson.

The second star: Brian Mach’s grandmother – Mach is an NHL linesman who got to work all-star weekend for the first time. Grandma was not impressed.

The first star: Brad Marchand – Yeah, he wouldn’t have been my pick to steal the show either. But by embracing the heel role, Marchand at least looked like he was having fun. From his sarcastic waving to to his over-the-top injury faking, Marchand came across as… well, not remotely likable, but at least vaguely self-aware. In the NHL, that’s something.

Overall, we’ll give the weekend a C+. Ah well. While only a few of their All-Stars were all that interesting, at least we still have Jaromir Jagr, right? Now to take a big sip of water and move on to the next section…

Outrage of the Week

The issue: Jaromir Jagr has been released by the Calgary Flames and signed with a team in the Czech league, all but certainly spelling the end of his NHL career.

The outrage: NOOOOO!

Is it justified: We knew it was coming. We had plenty of time to prepare. We should be OK with this.

We are not OK with this.

And I feel pretty safe saying “we,” because over the years Jagr somehow morphed into a universally beloved figure among hockey fans. He’d basically taken over Teemu Selanne’s role as the guy that just about nobody disliked. Even Penguin fans who weren’t over the whole 2011 bait-and-switch, or Capitals fans still trying to figure out how he went from perennial Art Ross winner to “guy it makes sense to trade straight-up for Anson Carter” overnight were mostly OK with him by now.

That’s a weird twist on a memorable career, given how Jagr arrived in the NHL. Back in the early 90s, when he arrived as Mario Lemieux’s sidekick and immediately won two Cups in his first two seasons, plenty of us didn’t like him. He was the poster child for a certain kind of flashy European player that we were having trouble getting used to. The NHL was a league where you weren’t supposed to smile if you scored a goal; having your own trademark celebration was basically a felony violation of The Code. So even when he took over from Mario as the league’s best player, we loved seeing him get his comeuppance.

He just didn’t get it very often. The Washington debacle seemed to spell the end of him as a legitimate superstar, but then came his rebirth with the post-lockout Rangers. Little did we know he had another dozen years left. He spent a few of those in the KHL, and that and the two seasons’ worth of time he lost to Gary Bettman’s lockouts might have cost him a run at the all-time goals crown. The fact that we can even conceive of that for a guy who played 80 percent of his career in the Dead Puck era is ridiculous. Even better, he emerged as one of the game’s better personalities, and both he and we loosened up over the years.

But now it’s over. Probably. Nobody would be completely shocked if Jagr showed up again some time next season for one more run. We’ve been here before, after all. But this time feels different. This really does feel like the end.

So thank you, Jaromir. Father Time catches up to us all eventually, but you sure made him work for it. We’ll see you in the Hall of Fame in three years or so. And until then, we’ll always have your awkward draft day and your ridiculous highlight-reel goals and yes, the image of your injured groin slathered in peanut butter. It’s been a trip.

Obscure Former Player of the Week

Today marks the 41st anniversary of one of the weirder record-breaking performances in NHL history: Maple Leafs defenseman Ian Turnbull’s five-goal game. Not surprisingly, it’s the only time a blueliner has ever scored five times in a single game; even hat tricks by defensemen are relatively rare, with only 42 players managing the feat in the last 30 years. Many of those names are the ones you’d expect, like Al MacInnis, Paul Coffey, and Shea Weber. A few are not, including this week’s obscure player: Deron Quint.

Quint was a second-round pick by the Jets in the 1994 draft. He made his debut during the 1995-96 season, the team’s last in Winnipeg, and held down a regular roster spot in Phoenix before being dealt to the Devils for Lyle Odelein at the 2000 deadline. His stay in New Jersey didn’t last long, as he was dealt to the expansion Blue Jackets that offseason. He’d spend two years in Columbus before bouncing around the league for several seasons, making stops with the Blackhawks, Islanders, and Coyotes (again). His NHL days ended in 2007, but he continued his career in Europe for another decade, earning all-star honors in the KHL.

Quint was never much of a goal scorer, at least at the NHL level; he had only 46 in his career, and his high for a single season was just seven. But he briefly found his scoring touch on March 9, 2001, recording the hat trick in a 7-6 Blue Jackets win over the Panthers. All three goals came in the second period.

Oddly enough, that’s not even the strangest Deron Quint goal-scoring feat. As a rookie in December 1995, Quint matched a six-decades-old NHL record by managing to score two goals in four seconds. How does a defenseman pull that off? As you’ll see below, a little bit of luck helps.

The NHL Carolina Hurricanes Actually Got Something Right

The Hurricanes have a new owner. He’s a 46-year-old billionaire named Tom Dundon, and so far he’s been saying all the right things about wanting to win and keeping the team in Carolina. That’s a positive development for a long-suffering fan base, but for the most part it doesn’t really matter much to anyone else. The Hurricanes will continue their playoff push, they’ll keep being that one team you always forget is in the Metro, and Canadians will continue to make up stories about them being on the verge of moving to Quebec. New ownership is a nice enough development, but that’s about all it is.

Well, until this week. Because now we know that Dundon is toying with the idea of bringing back the Hartford Whalers.

Well, not the actual team. But Dundon would apparently like to reestablish the team’s ties to its own history. That means selling Whalers merchandise, and maybe even playing games wearing the old uniforms (which were recently voted the league’s second-best ever).

And, by far most importantly of all, the glory that is Brass Bonanza. It’s back.

Hell yeah. In a sports world where retro is all the rage, this just seems like common sense, and it’s a surprise that the NHL’s various relocated teams don’t do more of this sort of thing. You can understand not wanting to jump into right away, when fans in your old city are still recovering from the loss of a team; you don’t want to wipe their face in it. And in cases like the Coyotes and Stars, where the old city eventually got another team, then you may not want to step on any toes.

But at this point it feels pretty safe to say that the NHL isn’t heading back to Hartford anytime soon. So bring on the green and white. Find out what Pucky the Whale is up to these days. And by all means, blare that beautiful Brass Bonanza every chance you get.

(And be sure to crank it up extra loud whenever Brian Burke and the Flames are in town.)

Classic YouTube Clip Breakdown

We’re one week away from the start of the Winter Olympics, which won’t feature NHL players for the first time in 24 years. That’s disappointing, and it’s going to make the tournament a tough sell, no matter what those intellectual eggheads in the New York Times try to tell you. Still, we might as well make the best of it. So today, let’s look back at the last pre-NHL gold medal game from 1994, as Canada and Sweden face off in one of the most memorable games in international history.

Oh yeah, we’re doing this in Swedish. I probably should have mentioned that up front. Or not mentioned it at all, and just let you go through the whole clip thinking you were having a stroke.

But yeah, this is the clip from the Swedish broadcast, because everything sounds better in Swedish. Don’t worry, though, I’m sure the announcers will be professional and stay impartial.

Our clip begins with about two minutes left in regulation. Everyone knows this game for the shootout, but not many remember that Canada had scored twice in the third period to take a 2-1 lead and were less than two minutes away from winning gold. Poor Derek Mayer. He scored the second Canadian goal that would have been the winner if the lead had held. Mayer was two minutes from being a national hero. Instead he’s the guy who played 17 games for the expansion Senators. This sport can be cruel.

Sweden is on the powerplay because international hockey is always rigged against Canada. Man, those benches are in a weird place. One of those Team Canada players could reach over and grab the Swedish guy as he works the boards. Probably should have, in hindsight.

Sweden ties it on a goal by defenseman Magnus Svensson, which is 100 percent the name you’d come up with if you had to make up a fake Swedish identity for the cops and you panicked. It’s very subtle, but you can pick up a little bit of excitement from our announcers, one of who screams a very aggressive “YEAH.” Or I guess it’s “JA.” Either way, he seems happy.

We cut ahead to the shootout, and it’s Magnus Svensson again. Or maybe it’s not the same guy and most of the Swedish roster was just named “Magnus Svensson.” I kind of hope it’s that. Anyway, he scores on a gorgeous deke, leading to another “JA.”

Wait, a defenseman got to take a turn in the shootout? What kind of Olympic coach would ever let something like that happen?

Next up is Forsberg, although this isn’t the famous shot we all remember. He does score, though, beating Corey Hirsch on a nifty move. It’s so nice that we skip the traditional “JA” and go straight to “OY YO YO YO.” I don’t care what language you speak, that’s a flat-out fun thing to yell. I’m using that in my everyday life.

Next up is Forsberg again, because the Swedes snuck him in for a second shot even though it’s against the rules and they should have to forfeit and Canada retroactively wins gold WHOOO! [checks earpiece] OK I’m being reminded that international hockey allows players to shoot more than once. You win this round, Sweden. Literally, as it turns out.

Forsberg beats Hirsch with the Peter Forsberg Move, which… I mean, how do you not see that coming, am I right?

This is the famous goal that would wind up on a postage stamp. Fun fact: The goalie in that stamp is wearing blue instead of Team Canada red because Hirsch refused to let them use his likeness and threatened to sue. He’s since said that he regrets that, but I always liked it. It’s the equivalent of making your friend delete that embarrassing photo of you looking stupid, except at an international level. I can respect that.

Needless to say, Forsberg’s goal gets an extended OY YO YO YO from our two announcers as we head to the replays. I forgot how close Hirsch was to stopping that. Usually when The Forsberg works, it’s into a wide-open net. But Hirsch is right with it the whole way and gets his glove down in the perfect spot. He’s just a fraction of a second too late. Hockey, man.

That’s it for our clip, which doesn’t show Paul Kariya’s game-ending miss and the subsequent celebration, presumably because our two announcers dove out of the booth to join it. It was Sweden’s first ever gold medal; they’d win another with (mostly) NHL players in 2006. Can they do it again this year? Nobody knows, because we have no idea what to expect from this tournament. But if it’s as entertaining as the 1994 gold medal game, will it be worth watching? I’m going to ahead and say ja.

Have a question, suggestion, old YouTube clip, or anything else you’d like to see included in this column? Email Sean at nhlgrabbag@gmail.com and follow him on Twitter @DownGoesBrown.

DGB Grab Bag: Goodbye Jagr, Hello Whalers, and Brad Marchand, Comedy Star? syndicated from https://australiahoverboards.wordpress.com

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

The 10 most awkward 2017 NHL Draft rookie photos

  CHICAGO – It’s once again time for that Puck Daddy tradition, “The 10 Most Awkward NHL Draft Rookie Photos,” and surprisingly many of them don’t involve a tiny ‘lil Gary Bettman at a big ‘ol podium.

The 2017 NHL Draft, sadly, has followed in the recent tradition of not posing these young men with their sticks raised or with some weird lighting or other photo booth accouterment. We covered this bizarre ritual in 2011 and 2012 and 2013 and 2014 and 2015 and 2016, and you can see this unfortunate progression over time.

But do we still have some awkward photos? You darn right we do. Here are some from the NHL Draft in Chicago.

And here … we … go:

Tomas Vomacka, Nashville Predators (154th overall)

That awkward moment when you realize that Adidas totally [expletive’d] up your team’s new sweaters.

Evan Barratt, Chicago Blackhawks (90th overall)

  We literally can’t wait for the before-and-after photo of Evan Barratt after a few years in the NHL because those teeth are going to be like a damn piñata for opponents’ sticks. While we don’t wish harm on anyone … Chicklets will be spit. It is your destiny.

Nico Hischier, New Jersey Devils (1st overall)

“Mr. Bettman so now will dere be a Swiss team in da World Cup of Hockey next time?”

“Yeaaaaaaaaaaah, about that…”

Noel Hoefenmayer, Arizona Coyotes (108th overall)

It’s appropriate he’ll be playing in the desert, as it appears his hair is having some kind of solar flare at the moment.

Jocktan Chainey, New Jersey Devils (191st overall)

The bowtie is an interesting choice.

(Opens the door)

“Oh, hello!”

“Say, did you ladies wanna play some … hockey?”

(Bachelorette Party screams in unison)

Ryan Poehling, Montreal Canadiens (25th overall)

We’re not saying that Ryan Poehling is actually a 35-year-old man. We’re just saying that the Canadiens might have just pulled some Little League World Series birth certificate [expletive] on us.

Does that make us a Ryan Poehling birther? Many people are saying it does. Many people.

Kirill Maximov, Edmonton Oilers (146th overall)

“What? YOU CAN TALK!? Wait … don’t want me to hit you with my stick? But that’s literally my job now! I know you have a family Pucky but I may have one too one day and …”

Filip Westerlund, Arizona Coyotes (44th overall)

That awkward moment when you realize you’re older than the man who drafted you.

Zachary Lauzon, Pittsburgh Penguins (51st overall)

In a world of conservative dress shirts and subtle gingham, we celebrate you, Zachary Lauzon, for being bold enough to select one of the single ugliest shirts ever stitched together for draft day. At best, it’s the bathroom rug of a goth hipster in Marrakech. At worst, it looks like a TV station that went off the air in the 1980s, to the point where we were a little concerned that a ghost might emerge from your shirt and take poor little Carol Anne to the other side.

And finally…

Timothy Liljegren, Toronto Maple Leafs (17th overall)

FINALLY, some hockey hair up in this hockey draft! Look at that sweet Leafy salad, billowing in the air like angels’ wings. Jagr looks at this thing and briefly wonders about paternity.

When he was available at No. 17, it didn’t take long for the Leafs to mullet it over and take him, for obvious reasons.

—

Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

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