#is poison really that good of a pickup line

[thegreatyin]

honestly I'm going with scoundrel/silverer as my ship now. that fic awakened things in me

in all honesty based. i respect the hustle

[mysteriawrites]

Hey can you write about Luxiem having a crush on the reader who is also a nijisanji vtuber? I just can imagine how cute that will be

Of course I can dear requester (requestee?). Here you go!

Luxiem with a Vtuber S/O

An: I had my own idea for a vtuber wave that I’m gonna use for this but feel free to use your imagination

You and your genmates are part of the royalty themed wave: REGALIA

Luca Kaneshiro

You were the bright and cheery royal of your wave. The stereotypical royal that brought a smile to everyone's face, was a friend to everyone, and shined bright like the sun just like our boss.

You and Luca are always goofing off during collabs. You guys usually play Minecraft and team up to prank the other members (and sometimes each other).

Luca also uses your collabs as an excuse to use his pickup lines on you so he can play them off as jokes as to not be embarrassed for being so cheesy.

You guys inevitably end up working on a cover together. Whether you work on the art, the animation, the mixing, or do vocals with him it ends up being a huge hit. Breaking 1 million views in less than 24 hours.

In group collabs you two proceed to be absolute menaces. No one is safe from your relentless trolling. Whether it's crab game, among us, Mario cart, or goose goose duck you'll have half of the branch in a fit of rage by the end. Truly a terrifying duo.

Shu Yamino

You were the mysterious royal of your wave. Your aura exuded power and beauty as well as danger.

You and Shu mainly play fighter games or fps games together. If you're good at these types of games then you make a formidable team that guarantees victory, but if not, Shu doesn't mind teaching you. He's just glad to have someone to share his favorite games with.

He also likes to play silly games with you like that bunny game. You guys are in perfect sync, and even when you're not you have so much fun laughing and talking that it doesn't matter if you beat the level or not.

I feel like you guys would have a Lego building handcam stream. No real reason it just seems right. You guys build the most intricate structure that it's honestly intimidating.

It's noticeable to everyone how much Shu loves streaming with you, because he laughs so much more. He's sillier goofier and more unhinged and having fun and the chat can feel the chemistry and positive energy a mile away.

Ike Eveland

You were the quiet, smart, and bookish royal. Always a book in hand with elegance and grace.

You and Ike partner up to play story games. If there is no in game voice acting, you two will take turns voicing different characters and putting on a whole performance for chat.

You guys also do covers together. If you don't feel confident about your singing ability, then Ike will coach you and help you build up your confidence. Man really wants to hear your voice.

You guys will also do watch a long streams of your favorite films or anime. Gushing about your favorite characters and scenes. He thinks it's it really cute when you're excited about your favorite character (and maybe just a little jealous).

At first Ike is more quiet and polite whenever you guys' stream together, but as time goes on, he becomes more mischievous and teasing. He won't admit it, but he thinks your reactions are cute (just like the rest of you) and it makes him want to tease you more.

Mysta Rias

You were the rowdy and rebellious royal. Always stirring up mischief and not letting anyone tell you what to do.

You are Mysta's emotional support when it comes to scary games. This can go one of two ways. Either you're good with horror games and you're actually helpful, or you're also bad with horror games and you're both screaming your heads off. At the end of the day though you both had fun either way (even if you can't sleep that night).

You're the voice of reason during cooking streams. Even if you're not a great cook you can't be bad as him. At the very least you manage to save yourselves from food poisoning.

You two also play silly co-op games like keep talking and nobody explodes. It's funnier when you both share a braincell and have to figure out how to work together to beat the game.

Mysta may not collab often, but you're his favorite person to collab with. You have plenty of misadventures in off collabs too.

Vox Akuma

You were the warrior royal. Always protecting others and standing up for what you believe in.

You and Vox would have cooking streams together. Whether you're good at cooking or absolute shit, you two will have fun goofing off in the kitchen and still make a meal that's at least edible.

You guys also have film discussion podcast like streams where you talk about the latest films. You discuss your thoughts and opinions about the film, but also deep things like symbolism and what the directors and actors were thinking.

You know how Vox is when it comes to Ike. Well, he's like that, but times 10 when it comes to you. Flirting with you at every chance and gushing about you every time you achieve something significant in your streaming career.

Sometimes his chat will make jokes about who he loves more you or Ike? He will answer cheekily "Why choose I have two hands~", but he always makes sure you know that he of course loves you more.

[inposterumcumgaudio]

Poedit Cut/Unused Content: TeaTime

Objectives:

Investigate the Park

Fill a Bucket

Refill Empty Power Cells

Quest Notes:

Look at all those pipes in the back of this park. I bet I could find some useful hardware there. But those little old ladies will probably scream their heads off if I do. Unless they're in an awfully good mood!

Fantastic! This pipe is leaking Motilene!

It would be easy enough to fill a bucket with the spill from this leaking pipe.

I hope this bucket doesn't spill. Or burst into flames, or something.

I can fill up all my power cells here!

Dialogue:

001 Crier_DB What do you think about Tommy Gainsborough?

002 Crier_NA So it's "Tommy," is it, now?

003 Crier_DB Constable Gainsborough. Sometimes I get carried away. Those shoulders!

004 Crier_NA I must admit he's got nice shoulders.

005 Crier_DB Couldn't you just imagine him picking you up and carrying you off!

006 Crier_NA You'd be helpless in the arms of a man like that.

007 Crier_DB But he wouldn't hurt you. You just know he wouldn't hurt you.

008 Crier_NA No. He'd be gentle.

009 Crier_DB And he wouldn't take his eyes off you.

010 Crier_NA No, he'd take care of you.

011 Crier_DB And those biceps…

012 Crier_FB He's a bit … he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer though, is he?

013 Crier_DB No. He's not. But until the moment he opens his mouth…. ahhh.

014 Crier_NA Constable Hogarth, though.

015 Crier_DB Little Billy Hogarth? Really?

016 Crier_NA I'm not sure how small he really is. Have you noticed his hands?

017 Crier_DB He does have rather large hands. But he's so quiet.

018 Crier_NA But it's the shy ones who catch fire, you know, upstairs. Because they hold it all back. And it has to go somewhere, doesn't it?

019 Crier_DB I never thought of it that way. I never even thought about Constable Hogarth, but now that you mention it… Woooooo! He does have something a little bit intense about him.

020 Crier_NA You see? He just makes me feel all warm inside. And a girl likes that feeling.

021 Crier_DB Oooh, look at what a darling girl has come to visit us! You'll stay for tea, won't you?

022 Crier_NA What a dear. I hope you'll stay for tea…

023 Crier_DB Here! Try my tea. It's my special recipe.

024 PC_Art This is … exceptional tea.

025 Crier_DB It's a bit of an acquired taste. But I can't get enough of it!

026 Crier_NA Oh, try mine! I'm sure you'll like it better!

027 PC_Art Are you quite sure this is actually tea?

028 Crier_NA We have to get a bit creative, at least until the next boat from India! Hah hah!

029 Crier_FB Here, try mine, and let's get to know each other better.

030 PC_Art Is it supposed to have those little … floaty bits?

031 Crier_FB Oh, dear, oh dear. The mice didn't get into my pantry again, did they! The poison barely puts them off.

032 Crier_DB He's so rude! I think he's a downer. DOWNER! DOWNER!

033 Crier_NA He doesn't care for us, does he? DOWNER! DOWNER!

034 Crier_FB What an awful man. I think he's a downer. DOWNER! DOWNER!

Odious MacClear Tea: Game/Blueprints/Pickups/Misc/AwfulTea_TeaTime This was in front of Col. Lawrence. I don't know, try it.

The tea party eavesdropper in "Thomasina House" originally belonged to this quest. Judging by Line 021, this might have been considered early on for being a quest that Sally could have undertaken in her act as well. The object was to distract the ladies from motilene infrastructure built into the park, but it looks like a quest similar to "The Vandals Took the Handle" where there's no way to "win" the interaction, only complete the quest.

Additionally, the Odious MacClear Tea was originally coded for this quest, probably as an item called Awful Tea, and repurposed as a world building element for the Col. Lawrence questline with the item description added (or appended to) at that point.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hiya! Can I get a matchup for Spy X Family and Genshin Impact, please?

Pronouns: they/her

Sexuality: Biseuxal 

Zodiac/MBTI: Scorpio, Estp

Appearance: medium-length, thick, usually fluffy dark brown hair with no bangs. Black eyes with permanent bags under them. Every time I lie down and get back up, I suddenly get a new hairdo (which actually looks pretty good).

Personality: To new people or people who I just don’t care about, I am polite but cold. However, I am playful, loud, chatty, and sometimes surprisingly witty with those I care about. I love showing my affection to loved ones through gifts, physical touch (if they are okay with that), words, or just doing favors for them. (For me, I tend to feel most loved when people spend time with me.) I am also quite creative. Plus! I am also an ambivert (but due to my friends usually being introverts, I learned to lean toward being an extrovert).

(To lovers, I am a romantic and I also enjoy flirting. I tend to be a bit possessive, not to a toxic level of course, but just enough.)

Likes: playful banter, helping people at stuff that I am good at, finishing stuff before deadlines (I am homeschooled and I finished my entire course a month early, and that is one of my proudest moments). Spending time with my friends, chatting, and playing board games.

Dislikes: myself, hypocrites, writer's block, my back pains, my neck pains, all my pains (which are sadly a lot). People who are more than an hour late, sleeping at other people’s houses (no, but legit, the longest I have slept at someone’s house is like 4 hours, and that was me being lucky; I usually only get 30 minutes.) Bananas and just banana stuff (though I do like banana bread)

Hobbies: writing and reading; drawing; acting; cooking; baking; listening to music; and singing (even though I am very bad at it).

Hi Eris! Thank you for your request! I hope you like your matchups!

In Spy x Family, I match you with...

I can see you and Yor getting along really well! I feel like your personalities would match really well.

Please teach her to cook! For the sake of everyone involved, Yor needs to learn how to cook food that won't immediately poison whoever eats it.

She's a very determined learner as well so you won't have to worry about her getting distracted or not picking up on what you're doing. She just needs guidance and practice.

Loves talking with you. Your conversations are always full of casual banter and interesting topics. Just pretend to not notice her slip ups when she almost reveals her secret identity.

Can't handle your flirting nature. But if you can deal with her blushing like a manic every time you start dropping pickup lines and complimenting her, you'll get by just fine.

Yor would love playing board games with you! I feel like that's one of her favourite ways to pass the time. Doesn't matter what kind of game it is, she loves everything, especially if she's able to spend time with you.

Surprisingly good at massages! She knows all the pressure points (don't ask her how she knows this) and is more than happy to give your back and neck a massage whenever you need one.

In Genshin Impact, I match you with...

You and Kaveh are creative couple goals! You're both really creative people in your respective areas.

Dates where you both work on your latest projects are a must. It means Kaveh doesn't fall behind on work while still getting to spend quality time with you.

I fully subscribe to the headcanon that Kaveh has designed your future house. He works on it whenever he has free time.

If you ever draw him or write something about him, he will treasure it forever! He might tear up a bit before pulling you into a tight hug. He's working even harder on designing that house now...

Please, he's always bend over his desk, he's got the same back and neck pains as you. He's more than will to give you massages to help ease your aches and he'd be very grateful if you would return the favour.

Loves playful banter and your flirting! He lives for that stuff, even if he gets red. He'll retort to whatever you send his way so the banter just goes on and on.

I think Kaveh's someone who often forgets to eat or only eats snack, especially when he's busy with a project. Try to convince him to eat more, or at least eat regular meals. It'll be pretty easy; he loves your cooking!

[ao3feed-jaytim]

The Life Death and Recreation of Peter Parker

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44419831 by obliven What happens to Peter Parker when he gets dumped in Gotham City with nothing but the clothes on his back and his wallet? Adventures include: - Peter gets a sugar daddy - Peter gets recruited to a drug ring - Peter cons a crime boss Words: 1855, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Characters: Peter Parker, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Peter Parker, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne Additional Tags: Crack, so much crack, its just crack, shitty flirting, like really bad, but it works??, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Crossover, gothamites being unhinged, toxins, Poison, happy? ending, i know the major character death tag is scary, i am not apologising for it, Murder, Attempted Murder, Mugging, So Many Weapons, Lazarus Pit (DCU), Lazarus Pit Madness (DCU), Chaos all around, Dick Greyson is a good brother, Jason Todd Tries, tries so hard, peter parker is a smart cookie, absolute genius i tell you, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drugs, Kidnapping, potential smut?, still on crack, Bad Pickup Lines, get everyone therapy, dick greyson is amazing, we stan dick greyson, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, everyone is bad at feelings, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, POV Multiple, The Author Regrets Nothing, Author Is Sleep Deprived, author forgot tags, tags may change/tags may update, Peter Parker Needs a Hug read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44419831

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

The Life, Death, and Recreation of Peter Parker

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/hvKPdrm

by obliven

What happens to Peter Parker when he gets dumped in Gotham City with nothing but the clothes on his back and his wallet?

Adventures include: - Peter gets a sugar daddy - Peter gets recruited to a drug ring - Peter cons a crime boss

Words: 1855, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Characters: Peter Parker, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas

Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Peter Parker, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne

Additional Tags: Crack, so much crack, its just crack, shitty flirting, like really bad, but it works??, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Crossover, gothamites being unhinged, toxins, Poison, happy? ending, i know the major character death tag is scary, i am not apologising for it, Murder, Attempted Murder, Mugging, So Many Weapons, Lazarus Pit (DCU), Lazarus Pit Madness (DCU), Chaos all around, Dick Greyson is a good brother, Jason Todd Tries, tries so hard, peter parker is a smart cookie, absolute genius i tell you, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drugs, Kidnapping, potential smut?, still on crack, Bad Pickup Lines, get everyone therapy, dick greyson is amazing, we stan dick greyson, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, everyone is bad at feelings, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, POV Multiple, The Author Regrets Nothing, Author Is Sleep Deprived, author forgot tags, tags may change/tags may update, Peter Parker Needs a Hug

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/hvKPdrm

[ao3feed-jaydick]

The Life Death and Recreation of Peter Parker

read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44419831 by obliven What happens to Peter Parker when he gets dumped in Gotham City with nothing but the clothes on his back and his wallet? Adventures include: - Peter gets a sugar daddy - Peter gets recruited to a drug ring - Peter cons a crime boss Words: 1855, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Characters: Peter Parker, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Peter Parker, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne Additional Tags: Crack, so much crack, its just crack, shitty flirting, like really bad, but it works??, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Crossover, gothamites being unhinged, toxins, Poison, happy? ending, i know the major character death tag is scary, i am not apologising for it, Murder, Attempted Murder, Mugging, So Many Weapons, Lazarus Pit (DCU), Lazarus Pit Madness (DCU), Chaos all around, Dick Greyson is a good brother, Jason Todd Tries, tries so hard, peter parker is a smart cookie, absolute genius i tell you, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drugs, Kidnapping, potential smut?, still on crack, Bad Pickup Lines, get everyone therapy, dick greyson is amazing, we stan dick greyson, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, everyone is bad at feelings, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, POV Multiple, The Author Regrets Nothing, Author Is Sleep Deprived, author forgot tags, tags may change/tags may update, Peter Parker Needs a Hug read it on the AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/44419831

[jacks-tracks]

New Year 2023

2023? How did that happen? Time really does slip away when i am aimless and drifting in Mexico. Not that i don't have a routine. Taking this morning as an example, up at 7, tea and grapefruit after a brush up, say Hi to the cheerful maid sweeping the palm fronds and fig leaves off the patio. Yesterday it was a centipede of sorts, third one, and here they have 40 legs. She spots them, a lifetime of training in venomous critters. She has been bitten and reports that the sting is minor, but that 4 hours later the site becomes swollen and extremely painful, in her case her arm swoll up and the pain crept to her shoulder and neck for hours. There is a treatment, injected antihistimines and steroids, but of course that costs money so people just tough it out. The scorpions are still coming, 6 so far, but only one made it into the room. Seems that the tiny golden ones are the most poisonous, potentially fatal. It was a golden one what made it past the door screen. Squish! Stinger up!

All that in Spanish, which i am comprehending better with daily lessons and practise. Still not thinking in Spanish, but I can prepare a sentence better. However, the Spanish the staff use with me is not the Spanish used locally, and kind of fast slurred dialect, Costeno. Incomprehensible. Just as our English chatter would be muddy to others.

Time for a beach walk before the heat rises. It is 22 degrees in the morning with the overnight breezes off the mountains, and I sometimes wear a jacket first thing, but by the time I go to the beach it's much warmer, like 25. A stroll down Calle Bueno Noche(good night street literally, but translate as Christmas Eve street), past the local dogs who all know me now, and across Calle Morro onto the sunny sands. This year the beach was sculpted by the hurricane waves into a series of shelves 100 meters apart, low enough that the high tide waves roll over the first step. The actual shore edge is steep, falling 10 feet into the shore break. In the past it was possible to skitter along the wave edge on the firm sand between waves and relatively flat. Now it's far too steep to be comfortable, so people slog along on the loose sand at the crest. I wear my Teva sandals like snowshoes to keep from sinking in the soft golden sand. Those old Tevas, glued and resewn many times, just don,t wear out, Vibram soles.and good velcro. Thousands of miles and a dozen countrys, still plodding along.

The beach is a favorite morning walk for gringoes, dozens trekking from La Punta to Zicatela and back. More Mexicans are getting on the fitness plan, walking the beach and filling the gymnasiums. There are lots of dogs, mostly domestic, some very friendly, but usually they are far more interested in the other mutts. OK they are not all mutts. An odd lot of purebreds, like dalmations, Huskys, German shepards, real chihuahuas like clockwork toys, meet an a broad mix of cross breeds. the dominant type varies over time depending on whose dog got loose. Lately it's Labrador crosses, replacing the golden lop eared long legged variety. While there are some standoffs, mostly it's sniff and posture followed by a romp. Some people carry sticks, but that seems to trigger aggression, or perhaps those dogs can sense their fear

It gets hot(28) quickly once the sun rises over the hills to the east, so I dodge into a stand of native trees where there is a palm log bench in mixed shade. Here i usually supplement my beach plastic trash pickup with litter, all aimed at the recycling bag back at Casa Dans.Beach litter has declined sharply after the Holiday season, and it's because the locals can pay off land taxes by doing mass litter pickups, up to 20people in a line desultoraly loading plastic into bags. Regretably that trash gets dropped in the town dump for later burning, but not before the dump ladies rip open the bags searching for aluminum cans or useable items

Return trip after 1 half hour outward is along Calle Morro, the beach front street. Interesting to see how many new tourist accomodation buildings are under construction,though often the building stops for unknown reasons Usually there a rush of foundation placing, rebar stacking and chain gangs of sweaty labourers mixing cement on the road, scooping it into buckets, and packing them on their shoulders up onto the walls to dump into the forms. Having tied up rebar for second floors, work often stops, and I wonder if it's financial,or if there are some rules around building permits requiring a certain accomplishment in a time frame. Certainly if all the many projects get finished, there will be a superfluity of rooms. Rumours have it that La Punta stopped new building after as similar rush. mind you they also have a no noise bylaw after 11pm, and a kids first rule on the now crowded surf beach.

The uphill trek back to mi casa can be done via several sets of stairs in various stages of concrete collapse. This means short backstreets guarded by dogs, most of whom i have either made friends with or fended off with rocks. There is one place halfway up the hill where 2 loud mutts bark furiously from behind a fence, perro bravos. That's where I pause for a breathe on the stairs, and chat with them, driving them to new heights of rage. Pretty soon the house owner comes out and yells at them to shut up and they slinkoff satisfied with their bravado.

The municipality made a lookout bench under a sort of cement bus top and that's a very good place to pause and scan the seas horizon for whales, fishboats, or the occasional tanker. Here there is a wide view of the beach, and the last beach hikers being replaced by sun worshippers and surfer watchers., Then it's home up one more hill to finally arrive sweating and happy at my shady cabana.

I believe walking is both healthy for the body and sort of restful for the mind. My goal is to see something new everytime and hopefully connect with the beauty, aiming for harmony.

[white-poppie]

HXH relationship headcanons (M4)

MASTERLIST  || HxH ハンタ x ハンタ masterlist MHA ver:

Relationship headcanons (pro hero) Relationship Headcanons (m3)

Death Note Ver:

Relationship Hcs

Killua and Gon can be aged up or not, it's up to you dear reader.

Gon Freeces

Overexcited baby

Doesn't understand the concept of personal space because he personally doesn't need it :P.

Really into PDA, wants to show that he is so lucky to have an amazing person like you to the entire world.

His love language is physical touch.

You rarely ever have arguments, but when you do it's over the stupidest things and then he forgets about it within a few minutes.

You protect him from Hisoka.

Every time he meets Killua he will rant to him about how marvellous you are.

Meeting aunt Mito is a must

Random Scenario

"Killua!" Gon whined.

"What happened, idiot?"

"Y/N are so amazing! Yesterday they made apple pie so good that it even impressed aunt Mito!"

"Huh? Good for you," Killua whispered as he cringed at Gon who had lovey-dovey eyes.

Killua Zoldyck

He definitely uses nicknames like an idiot (BAKAAA sorry), moron or dumbass for you.

Soft Tsundere; his love language is acts of service.

Unlike Gon, he is not into PDA, but if he feels jealous or threatened he will wrap his arm around your waist protectively.

Avoids Illumi as much as possible, I mean he was already avoiding him, but now that he has someone very close to him he cannot afford to put you in danger.

Playdates with Alluka!!

Unlike Gon he rarely ever talks about you, however, Gon asks about you a lot to fluster him.

Basically a cat; needs his hugs sometimes, too many hugs and he will bare his fangs.

Random Scenario

"Y/N, run."

"What's happening?"

"Illumi," one word and all the hair on your body stood up.

You two ran as fast as you could. His hand wrapped around yours.

"Not so fast," said Illumi appearing in front of you two," Oh, so this is the Y/N. A pleasure to meet you, I am Illumi Zoldyck or you can call me your doom."

Killua stood in front of you, his aura murderous, "You can help me kill him or watch me as I give you his head as a gift, my love."

Leorio Paradinight

Mr Lay-Oreo Leorio seems one of the cheesy kind of guys

He uses broken pickup lines like: Can you pass me an inhaler? Because you just took my breath away.

His love language is giving/receiving gifts.

DEFINATELY into PDA

Dates with him are mostly going to a fancy restaurant/café

He is a doctor, but if you get hurt he will panick™

Random Scenario

"Leorio I don't feel so good, my stomach hurts a lot," you said barely able to stand.

"HUH! ARE YOU OK?! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD! SOMEONE CALL A DOCTOR!"

"Leorio, listen to me!" you say raising your voice slightly, "You are the doctor!"

"Right!" He exclaims as if it is the most obvious thing, "I am the doctor."

After checking you he concludes that it was nothing but food poisoning.

"Doctor's prescription, drink lots of water and receive kisses and cuddles from your s/o."

"You are such a cheesy brat," you smile.

"But I am your cheesy brat."

Kurapika Kurta

(I love this guy soo much💖)

So most of the time he is busy with work and may ignore your calls and messages.

He understands how concerned you are for him, but getting rid of the Phantom Troupe is his first priority.

Not only for revenge but also because the troupe knows about him and that puts you in grave danger.

He loves kissing you on your forehead/temple.

Sleepy neck kisses and whispering I love you's (o/////o).

Uses nicknames like my angel, love, darling, my treasure.

He is a very kind and gentle person and will never do anything that may make you uncomfortable.

Not into PDA much, but will hold your hand and run his thumb on your knuckles.

He may appear distant/aloof when he is stressed or sad, but you are the only thing that is keeping him sane at this point.

Random Scenario

Kurapika stumbled in, his feet barely able to support him as he collapsed on the couch.

"Kurapika what's wrong!" you panicked, sitting next to him.

"Too. Tired."

You nodded in understanding, gently removing his coat, belt, socks and shoes.

"Do you want me to run a hot water bath for you?"He nodded weakly.

After helping him to his feet he came after bathing.

"Eat up," you said presenting him some instant noodles," I will massage your head after this, okay?"

He smiled gently, cupping your face with his hands and planting a kiss on your lips.

"Thank you, my love."

*Realises how much more I wrote for Kurapika as compared to others.* -Hides in embarrassment.-

(Lowkey thinking of making an individual Kurapika ff based on this)

Taglist: @denkis111, @glizzygobbler9000, @jazzylove, @cloudsgathering, @maybeleftoverjourneys, @idowritingandstuff, @lordmypantsaresocool, @futuristicallykawaiiturtle

MASTERLIST

Please like and reblog it if you find it nice. The story is written by me and please do not plagiarize my work. If you find anyone copying this, please inform me ASAP. This took a lot of effort. If this fic inspired you in any way, please don't forget to tag me!! If you want to request any kind of prompt/fic please feel free. Love <3 @white-poppie™ on Tumblr

[quindolyn]

Hiiii i heard a headcannon that james potter would love shower sex and i was wondering wether you could write something like that? No specific’s do whatever you want with it just sex in the shower ;)

 You in Here? || James Potter

Word Count: 2268

A/N: I hate this perhaps more than anything I’ve ever written but I need to write if only to remind myself that I still can because sidofhdfwqifbr. I feel like I haven’t been productive in weeks and posting is gonna hopefully help me with that. I’ve hated other things I’ve posted as well and y’all seemed to react positively to those so who the hell knows.

Warnings: Degradation, daddy kink, kinda proof read, little bit of exhibitionism 

Masterlist

“Jamie,” You called out, your voice echoing as it bounced back off the tiled walls of the Quidditch showers. 

You hadn’t been able to grab James after the Quidditch game, where he’d led him and his team to victory, before he had headed off towards the locker room, being stopped by Dobson who was subbing in as keeper for the game. The team’s usual keeper in the hospital wing with a bad case of blood poisoning he’d contracted from an unfortunate Care of Magical Creatures lesson. 

You’d never really given much thought to the boy as he was a year below you and you didn’t much run in the same circles but neither of those facts seemed to discourage him as he pulled you aside after the game.

His desperate and frankly pathetic attempts to flirt with you, the team captain’s girlfriend, had stalled you too long apparently as by the time you’d managed to break free of his bad pickup lines and clumsy winks James was nowhere in sight and Sirius had to direct you towards the showers where he’d seen him disappear into. 

And now stumbling around the locker room looking for your boyfriend you followed the sound of running water to the back corner of the showers.

“There you are,” You murmured as his dripping form came into view. Blocked by a sheet of warped glass all you could make out of his figure was the outline of his strong physique as he twisted and turned to let the water wash over his ridiculously toned body.

“James?” Your voice lilted up in a question as you wrapped your knuckles against the glass of the door.

“(Y/N/N)? What are you doing in here?” He asked, his voice rough which you assumed was from screaming over the roaring wind to communicate with his teammates. 

What you hadn’t noticed before escaping James’ subordinate was the aforementioned boy lurking a few feet away, jaw clenched, the vein in his forehead pulsing as he glared down the boy who seemed to have abandoned all of his inhibitions.

Though you had missed him, James most certainly hadn’t missed you and heading off to the showers he’d hoped that a hot shower would soothe the possessiveness bubbling up in his stomach but it had not had the desired effect. 

“Came looking for you Jamesie,” You explained, “Wanted to congratulate you,” A sly smirk tugged at the corners of your lips, painted a brilliant red as you began shedding the numerous layers of clothing you’d been bundled up in to shield yourself from the biting wind.

“Why don’t you congratulate that Dobson kid?” The edge to James’ voice was impossible to miss.

You frowned as you reached around your now nearly bare torso, having made quick work of your top layers, to unclasp your bra, shrugging it off of your shoulders to let it fall to the ground. Left in only your panties you spared a glance over your shoulder before abandoning those as well and opening the door to the shower.

Even after all this time you still had to stop your jaw from dropping whenever you saw James’ body, the defined muscles of his abs, the way they shifted in his back as he reached for things and just went about with his daily business.

His legs. Those fucking legs.

And don’t even get you started on his arms because you could go on and on for hours about them, about every part of him quite frankly.

You stood dumbstruck outside the shower cubicle before James pulled you in by your arm before someone walked in and saw you naked. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” The boy growled, towering over you as he wrapped an arm around your waist, keeping you tucked into his strong chest. You could feel his half hard cock pressing against your stomach as one hand drifted to your ass, squeezing it to the point of pain before releasing and smacking the afflicted area with the palm of his hand. The burning hot water didn’t help either with the pain as it washed over your backside, amplifying the sting from your boyfriend’s harsh touch.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You asked incredulously, having no clue what he was talking about. “That hurt.”

“Good,” He responded curtly, returning his tight hold on the supple flesh of your bottom, squeezing even more harshly than before, no doubt leaving bruises in the shape of his fingers. 

“S’ what you deserve after teasing me like that with that fucking prat, and then right now, standing naked in the middle of the locker room, anyone could’ve walked in at any point and seen your arse.”

“No one was gonna just-”

You were cut off by his fingers meeting the side of your face more harshly than you anticipated.

“Ow,” You squeaked, “Was that necessary?”

Growing more and more frustrated James pushed his index and middle finger past your slightly parted lips, shoving his long fingers further and further until the tips of his rough, calloused digits bumped the back of your throat and had you struggling to breathe as he triggered your gag reflex.

“Shut your fucking mouth,” He grumbled, catching your wrist with his hand before you were able to grab at the wrist of the hand gagging you, “First flirting with that little prick and now talking back to me, who the fuck do you think you are?”

Your response was garbled as you tried to speak around his fingers, but no matter what you were trying to say it was muffled even more as he pushed his fingers even further down your throat. 

A sick smile grazed his face as you gagged violently, tears slipping from your tear ducts and rolling down your face in twin rivers, collecting in pools at the curve of your jaw.

“Oh don’t cry baby,” He cooed mockingly, pulling his fingers from your mouth, allowing you to take deep gulps of air as he moved his hands to cup your jaw, his thumbs wiping away your tears.

One hand trailed from your face, down your torso, pausing at your tit to take the nipple between his fingers, pinching harshly and pulling a strangled gasp from your lips as the action sent pleasure mixed with a healthy amount of pain zipping up your spine. 

Eventually finding his way to your pussy James ran his index finger through your sopping folds, smiling cavalierly at the pool of slick he found there.

“Fucking pathetic,” He muttered, staring at his finger as it teased your cunt, “You got off on that?” He asked, lifting his visage to meet yours, “You got off on Daddy fucking choking you with his fingers?”

After a beat of held eye contact, you realized that it wasn’t a rhetorical question and that the man in front of you expected an answer. 

“Yes, Daddy.” 

Satisfied with your response James’ gaze dropped back to your pussy where he was now lifting up your clitoral hood, exposing your sensitive bundle of nerves to his touch.

“What was that you said about congratulating me slut?” He asked, harshly pinching your clit between his thumb and forefinger, smirking as you whimpered and brought your hand up to clasp his bicep, supporting yourself as you felt your knees weakening. 

The pleasure he could bring you from just his fingers was enough to have you in a puddle by his feet, clawing at his ankles and begging for more.

“Think as a reward I’d like to mark you up, show everyone how much of a desperate whore my baby is. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes Daddy, wanna be your slut.”

“My whore,” He corrected.

“Your whore.”

At your agreement James latched his lips onto the side of your neck, sucking vicious hues of purple and blue into the delicate skin that resided there.

“Fuck,” You swore, tipping your head back so that he could have even better access to your skin.

A pathetic whine slipped from your trembling lips as James pulled away from your neck, instead attaching them to yours, delicately brushing his against your own. As you tried to lean forward, wanting to deepen the kiss you felt James’ hand bury itself in your damp hair, gripping tightly at the root, using his hold to keep your head in place as he pulled back.

“No swearing pretty girl,” He murmured as his lips brushed yours ever so lightly against yours, “Pretty babies don’t swear, yeah?” 

He peppered kisses across your lips as you nodded your agreement, tickling your skin before finally deepening the kiss as you so desperately wanted. You savored the taste of his lips as his tongue delved into your mouth, exploring the warm expanse before mingling his tongue with yours. 

You were no match for his aggression as he dominated your tongue pulling a moan from the depths of your belly where you felt a know tightening as the slick between your legs continued to collect in a pool of your own arousal.

“Gonna show you how good I can make you feel,” James promised, crouching to loop his arms underneath your thighs, guiding your legs to wrap around his waist, and moving to support your bum as he backed you into the wall, using that to help support your weight. 

“Gonna show you how good I can make you feel when you’re mine.”

“Please Daddy,” You begged, pleading eyes looking up at him as you pushed your bottom lip out in a pathetic display of your submission, “Want your cock please.”

It was funny really, how quickly you went from feisty to his submissive slut. And you didn’t even have his cock yet.

Your begging spurring James on, he didn’t bother restraining himself any longer and instead pushed his cock into your warm, pulsing pussy.

A cry tore its way through your throat as he didn’t even bother to ease his way in, not wanting to wait another second, just wanting to be inside of you.

“Shh,” He hissed, clasping a strong hand over your mouth, hanging wide open as you barely had control over yourself to keep your eyes open, much less make the conscious effort to keep your mouth closed in order to keep in the moans and whimpers that shamelessly tumbled from your agape mouth.

James’ pace was relentless as he thrusted in and out of you, watching as his cock appeared then disappeared as he moved in and out of your cunt, your pussy squeezing him to an almost painful degree.

“So fucking pretty,” He swore, palming your tits with his strong hands, leaving your nipples hard as he pinched them again, just as he did earlier, watching the look on your face as he twisted them to the point of pain. 

You snapped your mouth shut so that you wouldn’t let out a curse, not wanting to disobey Jamie. 

“Mine, all mine,” Jamie grumbled as he let go of your boobs, preferring to watch them bounce as he sped up his thrusts, the spongy tip of his cock brushing against your g-spot, pulling a strangled sigh from you as you lost more and more of yourself in pleasure.

“All yours Daddy,” You agreed, leaning your head up against the cold tile of the shower wall as you focused on the pleasure James was bringing you with every deep thrust. 

“That’s right slut,” James said, remembering his earlier frustration, “If s’all mine, all f’me then what the hell are you doing talking to that little dick?”

His hard gaze met yours and though they were swimming with lust it did nothing to dilute the seriousness they held, making it clear to you that he expected an answer.

“Didn’t mean to Daddy, didn’t mean to be naughty,” You explained, hoping that he would realize that you really had had no mal intent in speaking with the boy, you just hadn’t wanted to be rude.

Seemingly paying your response no mind James attached his lips to your collar bone, laving his tongue over it before retracing his steps and sucking marks that matched the ones he’d previously left on your neck. 

As he worked to paint your skin in rich hues he lifted your hips so that he could reach even further depths inside of you, sheathing himself completely inside of you before pulling back out, all while moving his fingers to your clit, where they had once previously resided. 

The combined stimulation of him so deep inside of you and his strong fingers on your clit had the knot in your belly tightening as the stimulation on your clit sent tendrils of pleasure shooting up your back.

It was all too much, the overwhelming stimulation from his cock combined with his fingers pinching and rolling your sensitive bundle of nerves between the pads of his fingers, and the steady streams of scalding water warming your skin almost had you forgetting to ask to cum as you felt the pleasure boiling up in the depths of your tummy. 

“D-Daddy may I-”

You were cut off by the sound of the locker room door slamming open quickly followed by the rumbling of voices.

“Potter!” One of them called out, “You in here?”

Recognizing the voice as that belonging to none other than the very boy who had landed you in your small predicament you studied James’ face, with wide piteous eyes as the sound of footsteps slapping against the tile floor approached your little enclave.

James smiled deviously at you before responding, “Yeah, we’re back here.”

tagging:@randomoutsiders @weasleyposts @amourtentiaa @kittykylax @superbturtlemakerathlete @oliviashea05 @pinkandblueblurbs @st0nesnglitter @thatvenusbabe @itsmentalillness @zzzfour @greenlyblue @emmaev @temporaryissue @gubleryum @msmb r @miraclesoflove @velmasteas @drachoesimp @ashlovesthemarauders

[write-like-wright]

u asked for requests so im here to comply😳could you maybe do a ”should you date them” with the defense attorneys in the series?? or just generally some other characters?? bc the prosecutor one added like 20 years to my lifespan lmao. hope u have a great day!!

I'm so glad you liked it!!! Here's the sequel, just for you <33

Original post here

Should you date them: Ace Attorney defense lawyers edition

Phoenix Wright

yes, you really should

probably one of the best, if not the best, boyfriends in the series

wanna get married? husband material

wanna have kids? father material

has a tendency to casually adopt children actually, could be an issue at some point

worships you

you know how some guys brag about how they'd die for you?

Nick would unironically die for you

may even come close a few times but I'm pretty sure he's canonically invincible (eating poisoned glass and falling off a burning bridge, who?? tis' but a scratch!)

massive gossip

gets home after an investigation and immediately starts like "you won't believe what I found out about Gumshoe today"

somehow surprisingly mature and good at keeping secrets in spite of everything

has a lot of really cool friends!!! and larry

have you seen those shoulders tho?? mans built like a dorito, smashing through massive wooden doors n stuff

biggest monthly expense is hair gel

claims his hair is natural but you know better

don't be the big spoon, he will poke your eyes out

can somewhat read your mind tho? a bit off-putting but ok

marry him before Edgeworth someone else does

Mia Fey

hell yeah, dude

cool, calm, collected

has literal superpowers

successful business owner at 27!!! unironical #girlboss

went from being a lame rookie to a literal legend with her own practice and an apprentice in, like, three years

she's so smart, I fear her

has the fashion sense of a female character drawn by a cis man... oh, wait

god help whoever tries to hurt you

will literally kick their ass to hell

family-oriented

believes in second chances

took phoenix under her wing after everything, mia has the patience of a saint honestly

drops cool oneliners in everyday speech like a marvel character

curve lovers rejoice

doesn't mind being called dorky nicknames

major wife material

Diego Armando/Godot

I already covered him in my prosecutors list,, literally did not occur to me to split Diego and Godot into two lists

but to sum up, if I had to choose between the two, I'd go for Diego

i like my men like i like my coffee - tall, dark and bitter

^^ eats up pickup lines like those

Apollo Justice

Polly is such a sweet babey boy, please be nice to him

short king

low on confidence, makes up for it by being loud

*voice cracking* HE'S FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!

your neighbours will hate him

such a pushover, will do anything you ask of him

sensitive boy, not afraid to cry

pretends not to be dorky - is very dorky

consumes nerdy media almost exclusively (canonically a Whovian! but Capcom can't say that)

bikes everywhere and is apparently good with a hula hoop

Polly got cake is what I'm saying

have you seen his cool street style clothes?? sk8er boi

very grounded, literally

might play around and hold your hand for comfort

won't come to visit you if you live on a high floor, sorry

cat dad!!! cat pics!!! yes!!!

about 7 different tragic backstories

new secret family member drops every week

stares at you when you speak sometimes

is he jealous of Klavier?? does he have a crush on him??? who knows but it's funny watching them interact

bicon

spends way too much time on his hair

someone please date him, he deserves some love

Athena Cykes

holy childhood trauma batman

been through a lot

total empath

if you're sad, she's sad

can kinda read your mind... why is this such a common thing in AA games?? I like my privacy

super energetic

will drag you to the gym, take you on hikes, practice wrestling moves on you...

you will always be sore but also in the best shape of your life

has minus 25 chill

incapable of keeping secrets from you

her weird goth convict uncle threatens you every once in a while

she promises he means it in a friendly way

loves europop

way too accomplished for her age, everyone in this game is so smart, help

i feel like she'd enjoy theme parks idk

date her, she's baby and she needs some TLC

Kristoph Gavin

no

he's scary

thinks he's better than you

thinks he's better than everyone

has the audacity to wear white shoes with a blue suit??? are you going to prom????? sir????

obsessed with phoenix wright to an alarming degree

perfectly manicured nails!

the kind of guy who warns you never to go into his basement

nice on the outside but it's all fake

deeply rooted issues even he's unaware of

if you like drillbit hair consider Klavier instead

Ryunosuke Naruhodo

world's biggest baby

secretly a bitch

loves to clown on people

fake it till you make it

has no clue what he's doing most of the time

very determined in spite of that

everyone loves him

so many cool friends

cries at the thought of your bare ankles

physically incapable of walking by a shop and not buying something he doesn't need

"look, i got you a gift!!" "awh, how sweet! ...what is it?" "i don't know, i'll ask Mr Sholmes when he gets home!"

good with his tongue

may be somewhat trapped in the closet

has literally zero chill

remember when he just casually chased armed robbers??

must be a family trait

Iris interrogates you about your intentions with her brother

she has a gun

you have no privacy at his place

Sholmes crashes your dates

his bromance with Kazuma sometimes drops the "b"

becomes ultra cool eventually

hop into that time machine and date Ryu's ass, but be prepared to deal with period-appropriate homoeroticism and misogyny lol

Extra little shout out to Kazuma Asogi for that one time where he was a defense lawyer for, like, an hour and a half and somehow managed to cram 50 of the horniest one-liners in the game in that very limited time. Date him.

[purlturtle]

You potentially got one about that already, but the ship meme with Bering and Wells please.

I haven't! But I was sure hoping for it 😁

Alright, here goes!

Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling/vice versa?

Definitely Helena. I think she can be a lot more absentminded than Myka, or rather it takes A Lot to make Myka lose focus.

Who doodles little hearts?

Helena is thrilled that she can do this and people know it's for another woman and nobody cares. So she does. Myka has added one; Helena hasn't noticed yet.

Who starts the tickle fights?

Myka. It is a marvel to her that she now knows how it sounds when H.G. Wells has a giggle fit.

Who starts the pillow fights?

Helena, to retaliate for the tickling; Myka is extremely hard to tickle. It only works when she's already laughing, so that's Helena's strategy: get her good with the pillows, then proceed to tickling.

Who falls asleep last & watches the other affectionately?

Usually Helena - my head canon is that she has a super messed up sleep schedule due to the bronze, and in general has trouble sleeping when someone else is there & awake. And we know that Myka can sleep anywhere (she tells that to Pete when they enter the H.G. Wells museum). But! On the rare occasion when it's Myka who has the chance to watch Helena sleep, it almost overwhelms her with tenderness, and with awe that Helena trusts her with her sleeping self.

Who mistakes salt for sugar?

God, definitely Helena. See: absentmindedness.

Loud microwave noise at 1am?

Helena again, especially when she's been up all night tinkering and needs a bite of food and doesn't even look at the little microwave clock before starting it up. Then again, all the agents have been there (hungry at weird times of night), so there isn't a lot of repercussions.

Cheesy pickup lines?

Oh absolutely Helena. She has really amazing ones, and absolutely godawful ones, especially when she's been hanging out with Pete, or watching movies. But! Every now and then, Myka manages to hit her with an absolute whopper.

Who rearranges the bookshelves to alphabetical order?

Myka. Not necessarily alphabetical, but she has a system (one, she's Myka; two, she grew up in a bookstore), and she hates it when her books aren't in the right place.

Who licks the spoon when they're baking brownies?

Helena "people nowadays have no idea how bad food poisoning used to get" Wells.

Who buys candles even for a non-romantic dinner?

Both of them are romantics; Helena more openly than Myka, but they both cherish such gestures equally and will definitely go and do them.

Who doodles little tattoos on the other in pen?

So we know that Myka has two tattoos. And we also know from history that tattoos were all the rage in Victorian times. So maybe Helena doesn't have one yet, and asks Myka to draw a few designs on her, and Myka is all self-conscious because she can't draw all that well (especially not when compared to the woman who built a time machine and a rocket - Helena's schematics are fit to print!)

Who gets souvenir magnets everywhere they go?

Helena! She's a magpie for little knick-knacks. Selfies everywhere too, especially if there's a corny faux picture frame to take one's selfie in. At least this gives Myka an easy "what should I get my girlfriend?" option for when she's on a retrieval without Helena.

Who makes the other fill out couple surveys in magazines?

Oh they both couldn't be bothered. Sometimes Claudia gets them to, if she nags them enough. (By the way, though, Apparitionism's mini series where Bering and Wells do the 30 Questions To Fall In Love is AMAZING. I'll link it if I can find it quickly enough.)

Thank you for the ask! This was fun!

[depressedacadamia]

5 times Leo hit on Calypso as her Barista and one time it worked

Word Count: 3.8K

Summary: Coffee Shop AU! Calypso is running late one day so she ends up going to a coffee shop- what she doesn’t expect is for her barista to be Bad boy supreme

Later on in this fic, they sing this song.

Warnings?: Not much, terrible pick up lines, mainly fluff, making out.

A/N:  This took me so long but alas, here it is! This is kinda my first official fluff and I tried okay. Anyway, enjoy, comment, share, like- you know the drill. <3 from moi!

The 1st Thursday

Calypso was not happy with the line she was waiting in. She was running late and thus was at a coffee shop- somewhere she preferred not to go. The weather was terrible, grey skies as well as heavy rain that had Calypso drenched. The stupid forecast hadn’t predicted the rain and thus she had left her apartment without an umbrella nor raincoat. 

The coffee shop was small but cute, she had to admit. The staff seemed small but efficient and within a few minutes, Calypso found herself at the front of the line, face to face with a boy with rich dark tan skin and the most dazzling smile she had ever seen. He had long dimples and his dark curly hair would flop over his face in a cute manner.

“Hi, Welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Super sized Mcshizzle and I will be taking your order today, do you have your order ready?” He looked up at the girl in front of him and immediately, his lips stretched into a lazy and goofy smile. She frowned at the nickname but internally she wanted to laugh, even his name badge read Super Sized Mcshizzle- Who called themselves that?

“Can I get a cappuccino with 2 espresso shots, please.” She reached into her bag to pull out her purse while the boy at the counter hummed and tapped at the machine in front of him.

“What kind of milk?” He looked up again, cheekily smiling as if he had something planned.

“Uh, almond is fine.”

“And your name?” He asked, pulling out a marker. Before she could answer, he cut in.

“Does your name start with a C-”

“-Actually it doe-” 

 “-Because I can C us together.” 

Calypso resisted the urge to smile and instead raised an eyebrow at the horribly cheesy pick up line. Despite this, she was a bit impressed- Her name did technically start with a C.

“Calypso. That’s my name,” She told him as she walked away from the counter and sat at one of the stalls, waiting for her name to be called out. 

The 2nd Thursday

Somehow, Calypso found herself queuing outside the same coffee shop the next Thursday. Whilst she told herself it was because the coffee was perfect, it was truly to see the brown haired grinning boy who had served her last week. Pick up lines weren’t really her poison, but he wasn’t creepy and even she had to admit it- He was cute. 

As the queue grew shorter, she grabbed her purse ready to pay. She had subconsciously chosen to wear better clothes and style her hair today. Was it a stupid decision to wear white when drinking coffee? Absolutely. But Calypso was 100% willing to take the risk. 

“Hi, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Bad Boy Supreme and I will be taking your order today, do you have an order ready?” The boy looked up, with his hair flopping about. He had rolled his sleeves up and Calypso, who wasn’t about to get caught, quickly averted her eyes elsewhere. She noticed that his name had changed- so had his badge. Did he have a collection of these names? She’d have to ask him next time.

Oh, so there will be a next time, huh? She asked herself. 

Shut up. 

“Oh. Calypso, right? Same as last time?” He asked as he hovered his finger over the machine.

“Oh, yeah. Cappuccino please.” 

As she waited for her name to be called out, she pulled out her sketchbook and started sketching the cute barista. From his elf like ears to his slanted chocolate eyes and the funny curl that went in the complete opposite direction of his hair earning him a messy hair look. It was only a basic sketch but it had outlined him. 

“Cappuccino for Calypso?” a familiar voice called out. She was slightly surprised to find her Barista also handing off her coffee but she also quite flattered. Or maybe she was just overthinking this. He could easily just have switched around for a friend- it can’t have been just for her.

“Thanks,” she murmured as she reached into her purse, trying to find the appropriate change in her purse. 

“You and I are like nachos with jalapeños. I'm super cheesy, you're super hot, and we belong together.” The pick up line rolled off his tongue as he leant over the counter separating them. He had a smirk that made Calypso immediately lose her strong front and spill her change all over the counter.

“What?!” she sputtered as her eyes darted to the change. She managed to scoop most of it into her arms without looking too much like a fool. She quickly grabbed her coffee and made her way out of the shop as fast as she possibly could, hoping she didn’t look as ridiculous as she thought she did. 

The 3rd Thursday

“You don’t understand, last time the pick up line was creepy. She probably thinks I’m a weirdo now!” Leo groaned as he slammed his head on the counter beside his friend Will who always worked the same shift as him. Unfortunately, Will did not get to witness what Leo kept on describing as ‘a catastrophe’. 

“She won’t come in today, I bet. Ugh, I really screwed up.” 

“It really can’t have been that bad!” Will argued, dragging Leo by the arm to the front counter. 

“I said You and I are like nachos with Jalapenos. I’m super cheesy, you’re super hot and we belong together.”

Will cringed. “Okay, that is bad.”

Calypso could not believe she was coming back to the coffee shop. The previous pick up line was terrible, in fact it was almost as bad as the ‘I’m here, what are your other two wishes’ pick up line that a creepy person had used on her earlier but in all honesty it wasn’t the barista that was the problem. It was the fact that she could not crush over someone with pickup lines as bad as those. This time, she had decided to use her card to pay so she wouldn’t have to deal with spilt change everywhere. 

“Hi, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee. I’m Commander tool Belt- that’s because my major is engineering and I fixed the old coffee machine- how can I help you?” The curly haired boy in front of her said miserably while slumped behind the counter with his face practically leaning on the machine.  

“I was hoping for the usual?” Her meek voice came out questioning. Leo’s head shot off the counter, almost slamming into the machine. 

“Wow… uh cappuccino again?” 

“Yep…” she searched for something to say. “So engineering major huh?” 

“Mhmm. I like making things I guess. What about you?” 

“Natural sciences. I was going to do art but I guess plants and animals are more of my poison.” She shrugged. 

“You can draw?” he asked, his voice peaking interest and turning around slightly. 

“Yes, why do you sound so surprised at that?” 

He batted his hand. “Oh nothing, just something we have in common.” He then winked and Calypso had to do everything she could to not react. She stood in front of the counter, waiting for her coffee but saw that her barista was screwing his eyes up and writing something on a cup. She wanted to pull out her sketchbook and draw the cute face he was pulling, leaning back and holding the cup in front of him as if it were an invention he had never seen. 

“Cappuccino for Calypso!” A sing-song voice that could only be her barista called out. She had to admit, his voice was not bad. In fact, it was quite impressive and it had a nice harmonious tune to it. 

“Thank you…” she said in a suspicious tone, as she swiped her card over the contactless payment machine. Her barista was suspiciously silent and she had yet to hear a terrible pick up line. He had a mischievous smile as if he had set something on fire and not told anyone anything about it. As she picked up her coffee, she noticed a lot more black marker on the cup and held it away from her face to read it.

Are you made of Copper and tellurium? Because you are CuTe.

She wanted to face palm at such a classic science pun but she was also impressed that he knew elements of the periodic table so easily. She let out a small laugh to let him know that she had noticed the pick up line before she took a small sip and smiled. 

The 4th Thursday

“I’m telling you, she actually laughed at the line! That’s a good thing right?” Leo asked as he put on his apron. 

“And I’m telling you, if you want her to go out with you, hit her with a star wars pun,” Will ugred while tying his apron behind his back.

“You’re obsessed with star wars.”

“Hey, it worked for me and Nico!” Will pointed out as they made their way to the counter.

“Sun boy, we all know you and Mr Debbie Downer did not get together over Star Wars pick up lines,” Leo argued. 

Calypso was running late. She hated being late. It was like slowly ticking off the boxes for panic 101. She was wearing mismatched socks, had the wrong books for class and the laces of her shoes were untied. At least the line was significantly shorter than usual and while normally that would have made Calypso question the occasion, she was too much in a rush to truly care.

As she ran in, she tripped over her laces and almost fell had it not been for the arms of the person in front of her. As she looked up to find her saviour, she found herself face to face with the curly brown haired boy who today wore the badge of ‘Admiral Leo’.  She thought Leo was a nice name and it suited him very well- much better than any other name would have.

“Hey, tie your shoes!” he scolded her and she was surprised by his concern over her safety. Alas, she had spoken too soon, 

“I don’t want you falling for anyone else.” he murmured, his lips right by her ear and his hot breath making goosebumps form all across her neck. He then reached down onto his knees, and did her laces. However, she noticed the manner he did them were different to how she would normally do them. 

“You know that’s how children do their laces, right?” Her hands rested on her hips as he gasped dramatically and held his hand over his heart. 

“Are you calling me a child?” 

Before she could say yes, he cut her off.

“The answer is I totally am a child because that means I can eat off the child menu,” He grinned foolishly. “Life hacks with Admiral Leo!” 

The 5th Thursday

“I’m telling you Leo- Make the Star Wars pun. Please! For me, do it for me!” Will begged as he tied Leo’s apron for him. Leo was reluctant to go with a Star Wars pun. He didn’t know if Calypso would get it or if she was into nerdy stuff like that but he was running out of ideas. He hadn’t gotten any terrible sparks of inspiration and the Star Wars inspired pun that Will had told him couldt go too badly?

Nervously, Leo waited behind the counter, his hands tapping as if he had just slapped on a nicotine patch and then glugged 6 espresso’s. In other words, Leo was anxious. If he just made the drinks without thinking about it, he could get his mind off it but when he started remembering that she may walk in at any moment, he could feel his hands shake and his stomach begin to churn. 

Calypso was very happy. She had no classes today, no research studies to deal with and she had even managed her time well enough to hang out with a friend before heading towards her newly found and now favourite coffee shop. She knew it was it because of a certain curly haired and cheekily grinning boy. 

“Hello, welcome to Steamy Beans Coffee, I’m Flaming Valdez- don’t ask please- how can I assist you today?” He once again looked up and when seeing Calypso, he recited her order before the words could come out of her mouth. 

“Cappuccino with 2 espresso shots and almond milk?” 

Calypso, a bit shocked, nodded. She could feel small butterflies forming in her stomach thinking about how Leo had memorised her order. 

Stop being silly. He probably memorises every regular’s order. 

 “Soo… Flaming Valdez… what’s the story behind that?” She asked, despite his warning. Leo tipped his head back and let out a throaty laugh that had Calypso tingling all over- How can a person have such a gorgeous laugh? How can someone look so good while laughing? 

“Oh, that’s a good story. Every year, we celebrate the owners birthday by having the shop to ourselves. No customers, just the staff chilling. Anyway, so it’s like 9pm and we’re all meant to be out because it was sunset an hour ago but instead we’re still in the shop. Everyone’s gathered right out there because your boy, Flaming Valdez, brought in Roman candles!” Leo pointed to the chairs and tables outside the shop.

“Roman candles?” Calypso asked, a tad confused. Her face scrunched up a bit and Leo almost died from how cute her face looked.

“They’re like fireworks. There’s a slight difference with how the shell explodes compared to fireworks and they are a much more traditional version of fireworks but…” He trailed off when he noticed Calypso’s confused face- he just managed to remember that she wasn’t a nerd like him and didn’t study fireworks in her freetime. 

“Anyway, Will has the red ones and I have the green ones and so we literally start shooting them at each other like we’re re-enacting Harry Potter or something!”

“What! Can’t someone get set on fire from that?”

“Well yeah actually, they can. Will shoots one at me, sparks at my hair and sets it on fire. I’m running around trying to stop my burning hair while everyone is laughing. The crowd started cheering ‘Flaming Valdez’ and since then, they’ve adopted me that name. I’ve tried to get them to change it but it seems to stick,” he laughed while making her coffee. 

“Yeah, I think I’ve seemed to notice. Super sized Mcshizzle, Bad boy supreme, Commander tool belt, Admiral Leo and today- Flaming Valdez.” She listed all the names he would wear on his badges off her fingers. However, that may have been a mistake because when she looked up, she saw Leo shooting her a sly grin that made the butterflies start going crazy in her stomach again.

“So you remember my names, huh?” 

“It’s the nice thing to do,” she defended, a blush rising on her cheeks as she reached for some napkins.

Leo took a deep breath- he couldn’t believe that he was going to use Will’s Star Wars pick up line. 

“Do you like Star Wars? Cause Yoda only one for me.” The words practically rolled off his tongue and Calypso froze before breaking in laughter. She couldn't hold it in anymore- this was by far the funniest of all the pick up lines he had used. She pulled out a pen and scribbled something down on her sketchpad before ripping it out.

Leo, distraught, watched as she laughed at the pick up line. He should have listened to his gut and never made the pick up line. Oh gosh, he looked like an absolute loser now. Who makes Star Wars puns other than nerds? He handed Calypso the coffee and watched as she quickly left.

 He noticed the sketch she had left behind, it looked oddly familiar. In fact, he could have sworn it looked just like him. She had been sketching him everytime she waited for her coffee. He traced finger gently over the outline of his face, smiling. She had drawn everything in such detail, he felt like he was looking in the mirror but at the same time he felt she had facetuned him and made him look.. Well, perfect. Did she think he needed all these faults fixed? Or was this just how she saw him? She somehow made every flaw seem gorgeous and beautiful and he didn’t know how to feel as he looked at the bottom of the sketch. 

His eyes widened as he read the note left at the bottom of the sketch. 

Hey Leonidas (your co-worker told me that). Here’s my number - 07669833256. 

P.S- Star Wars puns ALWAYS work.

Yours truly, Calypso

“Leo? Are you good?” Will stopped to ask him. 

“Star Wars puns always work- you were right,” he said starstruck. 

The Next Friday

“Mamacita, get off those tables, I need to clean them,” Leo huffed, holding a spray bottle threateningly and a cloth in his other hand. Calypso, giggling and giddy hopped off the table. She watched as Leo quickly sprayed it down before wiping it. 

“Are you checking me out?” Leo’s smug voice cut through Calypso’s thoughts, snapping her out of mind. Her initial reaction was to stutter and wildly deny it however today at 7pm, she felt more bold than usual and decided to tease him a bit.

“So what if I was?” 

Leo almost froze at the bold response, not expecting the reaction from her. They’d been officially going out for one week and so far, Calypso had been quite shy. A kiss on the cheek here and there, a bit of innocent flirting but no one had really openly confessed their feelings. It was obvious to everyone around them that they liked each other but they seemed determined to have the other say it first. 

“Well if you were… " He turned around to see her smirking with both hands on her hips. He was not losing to Calypso- he would make her confess her feelings first if it was the last thing he did. She sat herself on the counter behind her and beckoned Leo forward with her finger. He raised an eyebrow at the bold move but obliged. 

Leo stood between Calypso’s thighs, his hands slipping around her waist. Their faces were close enough that if Calypso and Leo both moved their head slightly forward, they’d be kissing. Funnily enough, they both had started eating mints and chewing gum whenever they’d be with each other as if they were planning the moment. 

“I still can’t believe those pick up lines worked,” Calypso sighed, her hands moving onto Leo’s shoulders, comfortably rubbing them back and forth. 

“Bad Boy supreme is very much offended by those comments.”

“Nu uh. Ever since that blond co-worker of yours told me that your full name is Leonidas...” She paused to unsuccessfully hold in a small laugh. “...That your name is Leonidas, it’s been Leonidas and it will always be Leonidas to me.”

“Not even Leo?” He asked, his eyes entering puppy eyes mode. Calypso remained unimpressed and shook her head. Their eyes locked and they could feel each other's thoughts. Just as their heads were leaning in,the radio behind the counter bugged out and static started blaring everywhere. Calypso wanted to curse god- of coure something just had  to ruin the moment. Immediately, the two students shoved their hands over their ears and Leo jumped over the counter to quickly fix the horrendous noise. A few minutes later, About Love  by Marina started softly playing through the cafe’s speakers. 

The moment seemed like it was manufactured for a movie. The beautiful sunset on the horizon, the romantic music and most of all, Leo’s playful smile as he held his hand out asking Calypso to dance. She, of course, accepted and the two twirled about in each other's arms. They weren’t very good and they kept on stepping on each other's toes but eventually they got into a position where Leo’s hands were wrapped around her waist and Calypso’s arms were thrown around Leo’s neck. 

Leo watched as Calypso closed eyes and softly sang the words to the song under her breath. 

“Started in the strangest way, didn’t see it coming.”

Leo started singing with her, “My head gets messy when I try to hide.”

“The things I love about you in my mind” Their voices were harmonious and in sync. 

“I don’t really know a lot about love, a lot about love, a lot about love but you’re in my head, you’re my blood and it feels so good, it hurts so much.” Calypso had her head leaning on Leo’’s chest and she could hear the steady thumping of his heart quicken.

“Shall I take this as your confession of love to me?” He murmured into her hair. Calypso shot her head up so fast that she almost butted Leo in the chin. 

“Hell no, Leonidas.” 

Yet, as she said those words, her face leaned upwards towards Leo with her intense gaze falling to his lips. They looked soft, supple even and she felt so tempted to reach out and brush them. In fact, she felt so tempted to touch them that she didn’t even notice her actual hand reaching out to brush against his bottom lip. 

Leo had to physically restrain himself from shivering when he felt Calypso’s finger brush over his bottom lip, dragging it back slightly before slowly setting her hand at the side of his face. Slowly, like they were two magnets slowly attracting each other, they leaned in. When they were practically breathing in each other's face, Leo decided to spring one more pick up line on Calypso. 

“Did you know that my lips are skittles?” Leo cut in quickly. Calypso quickly frowned, not catching on. Leo continued, “ And you’re about to taste the rainbow.”

Calypso groaned, throwing her head back while Leo giggled to himself. Sick of chasing each other, Calypso grabbed Leo’s face with both her hands and smashed her lips into his, abruptly shutting him up. To say Leo was surprised would be the understatement of the year. He was in a true state of panic, thinking what he should do with his hands, his lips, his entire being. Her lips moved against his, encouraging him. He wrapped his hands around her waist, both of them moving up her back, pulling her into the kiss. 

They pulled away for a brief second, looking each other in the eye before slamming their lips back together. Had anyone walked in on them, it would have only been appropriate to say that they were devouring each other- their lips pushed and their hands pulled. Their lips moved in sync and Calypso weaved her hands into Leo’s curls. It was demonically passionate as their tongues slipped across each other's lips. The heat of the kiss spread across Calypso’s face- the blush was so obvious, she felt like her lips were on fire. Nothing could have stopped them, not even if the entire world was on fire. 

As they pulled away, Calypso had one more trick up her sleeve. 

“As far I’m concerned, the rainbow tasted pretty damned good,” She remarked, referencing to Leo’s previous pick up line. 

[tatestripedsweater]

Betrayed

Plot: Kai catches you cheating on him, with the anger brewing in him he can’t seem to hold back - Requested by Anon

Kai x Female Reader

Warning: Abusive Relationship, Death, Blood

Word count: 1,038

A/N: This is my first proper fic I’ve wrote about him so some feedback would be appreciated, the bold writing is flash backs!

Everyone in the cult knew you were Kai’s, no one would dare go near you with or without him around or with good reason. You were his, his property to use with as he sees fit and if anyone got in the way of that then god help them. So that’s why you kept your new love a secret, if Kai found out you knew they’d be killed before you can even try to stop him.

You’d be lying if you said part of you didn’t love Kai, having met him in college he was a complete dork that surfed the internet of porn and dark websites but now.. that boy you knew was gone and you couldn’t stand to be around him for much longer no matter how much you loved him.

The music blared as you started to mix various amounts of alcohol together, you knew you’d have a handover in the morning but you couldn’t care less. You were at college to have fun.. studying could be done any other time.

‘’You trying to end up with alcohol poisoning?” Turning around your eyes met a brown haired boy, he was cute. It was clear he was teasing as he couldn’t help but chuckle after he said that, you had seen him around the campus before but you had never spoken to one another before. “I’m Kai, and if I’m not mistaken you’re the girl of my dreams?”

A blush crept on your cheeks as he couldn’t help but smile at your reaction, you weren’t used to anyone flirting with you so the pickup line was rather unexpected, and cheesy but you couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at him, a slight smirk on my face.

“That was awful wasn’t it?” Nodding your head, Kai’s laugh was music to your ears, it was almost angelic.

‘’It was lovely seeing you..” Blushing as you looked up at your secret lover, standing on the porch of his house his lips met yours, hey were soft and kind.. nothing like Kai’s kisses. He knew about how crazy Kai was, in-fact part of him couldn’t believe you were still with him from the things you had told him.

As your lover went to speak you were cut short with blood splattering all over the walls and on you, his lifeless body was now on the floor with a bullet in between his eyes. Your whole body went stiff as you smelt the cologne that you had bought Kai for his birthday, hot breath danced around your ear as he came closer. You were next, you just knew it.

“You really think I wouldn’t find out?! I have people watching your every move Y/N!” The growl that felt from his mouth sent shivers up your spine, you couldn’t dare to look at Kai with the anger radiating off him. “Look at his body.. look at what you caused!”

Gripping the back of your head, Kai forced your head down to look at his body. Whimpers left your lips as he forced you to watch him bleed out, his blood running onto yours and Kai’s shoes. You were shaking like a leaf, trying to get out of his grip Kai only tightened his hands in your hair.

“This is your fault, you did this! He’s dead because you couldn’t keep your fucking legs closed!” More tears fell down your cheeks at the harsh words leaving Kai’s mouth, you wanted all this to be over, to join your love in death but you knew he wouldn’t let you off so easily. Kai would make you suffer than let you get an easy way out, he never used to be like this. In fact he was very loving, cared about you, but that part of Kai was long gone now.

“I got you some flowers..” Kai stood there with a bouquet of your favourite flowers, a boyish grin on his face. “I mean I know these are your favourites since I asked around.. so you can’t really say no”

With a soft laugh you gladly took them from him, you had never met a boy like him before, he was romantic yet a dork at the same time. You two had only been seeing each other for a month but it honestly felt like you’d known him all your life, you both had so much in common it was unreal. You had truly found the man you want to marry, have kids with and even grow old until your poking each other with walking sticks.

“They’re beautiful Kai..” Smiling as you smelt them, you went to find a vase to put them in but he was quick to stop you. His soft hand held onto your wrist gently to pull you back to him, he was teary eyed and you couldn’t help but worry what was coming next. Was this his way of softening the breakup..?

“I love you Y/N..”

“P-please stop this! I’m sorry..” The crack in your voice didn’t go unnoticed by Kai, but he knew he had to get away from this scene. People surely heard the gunshot and the blood was already on his shoes. The sirens filled the street as the two of them stood beside the body, there was one way out of this he knew it.

“Officer she’s here!” Turning around quickly the fake tears that ran down his cheeks had your heart pounding, you knew how good he was at manipulating and scaring people so much so you didn’t even notice that he’d put the gun in your pocket. “She just f-fucking shot him! She’s fucking insane!”

Before you could even get a word in edgewise guns were pointed in your direction, a twisted smirk dawned the face of Kai as he looked at you. Just as you tried to explain yourself or even move more gunshots went off, your blood painted the walls of the apartment door. Your lifeless body fell next to your lovers, walking away from the scene Kai’s eyes were glassy, he refused to be upset but he couldn’t help himself. You betrayed him, his love, his first love and you needed to face the consequences.

Even if the consequence was death.

[hwkhs]

anonymous requested: Could you do headcanons for Iwaizumi and Kuroo of them trying to smooth talk their crush but failing? I love your stuff!

pairings: iwaizumi hajime x gn!reader, kuroo tetsurou x gn!reader

warnings: a slight reproductive system sex joke

style & genre: bulleted; fluff

notes: they, especially kuroo, give off such cool/smooth guy vibes in general so seeing them like this is interesting,,, i don’t know how to flirt so the awkwardness from iwaizumi’s captures exaggerated versions of my failed attempts tyty also my bad puns in kuroos

and my definition of smooth talking is bad pick up lines iM sORRY

Iwaizumi Hajime

he doesn’t know how to flirt for the life of him okay, this guy smh i’m sorry for the approaching secondhand embarassment

he regretted the words right as they came out of his mouth

this fool decided to go the one and only trash for advice

i mean they’re best friends and oinkawa knew of his crush on you for a while now

“iwa-chan! if you say this, she’ll definetely fall in love with you!”

he had that face (u know, the one he makes after oikawa says “are you my mom now” or smth like that)

let’s just say oikawa left with a bruise on his arm that day

iwaizumi would see you in the halls before school started so he reasoned that that would be the only time he could converse with you

you guys have different classes as well as your own after school activities after all

you’ve noticed him too, and the fact that he gaze would linger juuuust a bit longer on you as you walked by

practice is cancelled one day and he’s waiting in the halls after school

he’s on his phone as you round the corner with a stack of papers in hand, tall enough to cover your vision

he sees movement at the corner of his eye just as you somehow trip on air

his feet move faster than his brain and your caught in his beefy arms

the papers scatter around you guys like cherry blossoms

that can give you cuts aha sorry paper cuts suck

he’s short circutting because he didn’t think this would be a situation he’d ever be in

but there you were

he goes to ask if you’re okay but one look in your eyes and he’s--

“i guess you fell for me” oOPS he was going to kill oikawa

you quirk a brow at him and immediately get on your feet, quickly gathering the fallen papers

“well, i techinically fell on you--”

he was really going to commit a crime after this next one

“are you wearing space pants, cuz your ass is outta this world”

hE dOESN’T kNOW wHAT hE’S dOING

all of the pick up lines oikawa told him were just coming out now and what a great time to be alive hajime

you freeze in your spot and face the ace who looked on with embarassment in his features

it took all it had not to burst out laughing and you knew this wasn’t really him speaking from his own thoughts

you’ve been paying attention to him too don’t lie

you stand back up and pat his chest, hand slipping into his back pocket

“same to you” you wink and rush off, realizing you were going to be late to your meeting

his mouth is agape as he reaches into the pocket your hands was in

there was a lil slip of paper with your number on it

ngl you kinda wrote that in advance just in case some quick encounter like this happened

he instantly deflates, leaning on the wall for support when a certain setter hops his way into iwaizumi’s peripherals

“sooooo, how’d it go?”

rip trashikawa, your space pickup lines didn’t go to waste tho

Kuroo Tetsurou

so this guy is the school’s heartthrob and a science nerd

a LOT of gals & guys want him

but you? nah he’s just a lil bit too much for you

but this guy has no shame and wants to win your heart for real though he kind has a smalllllll crush on you

but you aren’t having it

literally just flirts with you in the middle of class

and he’s your seatmate

in true cliche fashion, your teacher assigns a project in which you’re partnered with the person next to you

you have to deal with his balant flirting not only in the class room but outside of it as you are forced to work together as well

good luck or lucky you, pick your poison

so onto what the project was about

it had something to do with the human body and the anatomy and yada yada yada but it was some interesting stuff

you guys agreed on meeting at a lil coffee shop on campus that wasn’t busy at the time you chose

ti was all going well, meaning that you guys were actually doing work, until he opens his mouth

“are you the female reproductive system, because i’d love to be all ova you”

he has the audacity to send you a wink and you’d be lying if you didn’t blush a lil till you realized how cheesy that was

fifteen minutes later and you curse the fact that you guys haven’t moved pass the reproductive system section

“do you need another one?” he says, pointing to your writing utensil that was running out of ink, “cuz i can tell you were my pen-is”

across his face he dawns his signature sly look and you look at him in disgust

“what are you doing?”

“what do you think i’m doing, kitten?”

you were gonna punch that grin off his face and he smiles to himself, thinking you were just playing hard to get

but your face is void of amusement and you return to your work which he is taken aback by

by the time it reaches the three hour mark you pack up and say that you guys should meet up again to start the actual bulk of the project

“ohohoho you wanna see my face again, y/n?” you almost stop yourself from saying what you were going to say, hearing your name roll off his tongue, but compose yourself

slinging your bag over your shoulder, you turn to face him with a confident smirk of your own

“if you think you can win me over like all those other people, there’s a vas deferens between me and them. see you monday, same place and time” and you leave

YOU GO BRO

his jaw drops but he takes it as a challenge

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

The Life, Death, and Recreation of Peter Parker

by obliven

What happens to Peter Parker when he gets dumped in Gotham City with nothing but the clothes on his back and his wallet?

Adventures include: - Peter gets a sugar daddy - Peter gets recruited to a drug ring - Peter cons a crime boss

Words: 1855, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Characters: Peter Parker, Jason Todd, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Duke Thomas

Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Dick Grayson/Peter Parker, Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Jason Todd/Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Damian Wayne

Additional Tags: Crack, so much crack, its just crack, shitty flirting, like really bad, but it works??, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, Crossover, gothamites being unhinged, toxins, Poison, happy? ending, i know the major character death tag is scary, i am not apologising for it, Murder, Attempted Murder, Mugging, So Many Weapons, Lazarus Pit (DCU), Lazarus Pit Madness (DCU), Chaos all around, Dick Greyson is a good brother, Jason Todd Tries, tries so hard, peter parker is a smart cookie, absolute genius i tell you, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Drugs, Kidnapping, potential smut?, still on crack, Bad Pickup Lines, get everyone therapy, dick greyson is amazing, we stan dick greyson, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, everyone is bad at feelings, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, POV Multiple, The Author Regrets Nothing, Author Is Sleep Deprived, author forgot tags, tags may change/tags may update, Peter Parker Needs a Hug

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/44419831