white-poppie

[white-poppie]

It is a FACT that people in Japan are NOT Asian. 

It is a FACT people in Japan are Japanese.

It is a FACT that Japanese people are ALL WHITE.

It is CANON Gojo is WHITE.

It is CANON megumi is WHITE.

It is CANON Nanami is WHITE.

It is CANON geto is WHITE.

...respectfully, do you have brain damage?

[white-poppie]

Recently shifted, it’s so hectic and tiring and my dog isn’t here at the new place yet I miss him so much. 🥺🥺

It’s so overwhelming and o miss the old place so much

…on a lighter note;

First day of law school tomorrow >ᴗ< !! sooooo excitedd

alsooo look at my nailssssss

[white-poppie]

taglistt <33

@httpshujii @amplsblog @kristinecharmm @minnaaveira @ange11-c @furguson @dlwlrmas-world @Dylsw @anubisin @khaleesihavilliard @webawee @anyaswrld @he4rts444mi @notasaintsoul @kunaglazer @christianacj27 @allyyyyysposts @Olanii1019 @tamarasblogs @starouge @sukun4scumdump @cameroncameronn @nicepeony @roskile @shein-dough @nefertiti2003 @i00bear @urmomsgayforme5 @yuutapedia @magicshopowner @autistic_multi-fan @simonexxx1

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Status upgrade ?! ⎯ ft. jjk men

feat ⎯ satoru, kento, suguru, sukuna 'n toji

synopsis ⎯ you accidentally refer to your boyfriend as 'husband' !

a/n ⎯ I was giggling the entire time writing this, also sukuna is not the king of curses here because I said so.

✶ ࣪˖ GOJO SATORU

You can't seem to be able to catch your breath with him, not enough air fills in your lungs as you stare at him with clenched fists and a taut jaw.

"What part of 'I didn't want you to take on that mission' did you not understand 'Toru?" you say, exasperated, your voice cracking in sheer frustration after having gone back and forth the same topic infinite times, all ending with 'you know I have to, it's not like I want to,' or something like that.

But you are tired, you really are, the kettle whistling cacophonically when the two of you finally found time for an intimate little movie night, interrupted by a call on his phone and then him subsequently teleporting away like it was nothing. Like you were a fool, feeling all giddy for just finally being able to spend time and woosh, he's gone.

"I'm sorry baby, you know I have no choice, there are people who depend on me." His pretty face crumpled in guilt and annoyance all the same. And every time he says this, it's like his way of shutting you off, because how do you even respond to people's lives being dependent on him?

Its too much, it really is too much sometimes. Somehow, all of these discussions end with you feeling like the douche.

"I hate when you do this," you choke, "I can't even have a little time with my husband now." It leaves and you don't even register it, but Satoru does.

He takes in a deep breath, his own throat in brambles while his heart stutters. A little slip off the tongue and it hits him harder than ever.

"Your husband?" he says, trying so desperately to not let his muscles twitch into a wide grin, but he can't help it. And so against the situation, his eyebrows soften down and little smile appears on his face.

There is a tender feeling in his chest that seizes his entire being, somehow, that one word makes all of it feel so tangible. Your concern, endearing then, seems heartfelt now. A sudden strike of accountability that perhaps stems from the little future he imagines within that few-second interval when you call him your 'husband.'

"Whatever," you bristle, annoyed, embarrassed at the slip of the tongue, turning around to walk away from him, before two muscular arms find their way on your waist and you freeze. His weight against your back, nose nuzzling into your shoulder, tufts of white hair tickling against your skin.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into your shoulder flesh, hot breathing fanning against the skin. His arms tighten around your waist as though holding your back from moving, to keep you planted as you are, in his arms, forever. "I'm sorry, I promise I'll say no, I promise I'll try to reject the missions I can." He whispers out, planting kisses against the expanse of your neck causing you to shiver against his broad frame.

You sigh deeply, hand coming to caress his face. "Okay," you breathe out.

"And as your husband — I should really stick to you like glue, yeah? More so if I wanna make it into reality," His large hand sprawls on your tummy and you can hear that damn smirk on his face.

Your cheeks turn red and you try desperately to backtrack, "It just slipped out of my mouth—"

"Yeah, yeah, as I was saying, do you prefer a pear-cut or a marquise-cut diamond?"

God he is so obnoxious.

✶ ࣪˖ NANAMI KENTO

You're sleepy, so damn sleepy that you could just fall into sleep the instant you find a surface to lay on.

"You look exhausted," Kento comments, his eyebrows furrowed in worry as he looks at your weary form. You peer to look at him through the mirror on your vanity. He looks like a dream. His reading glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, a classic novella in his hands as he leans against the bedrest.

"Come here, love," he pats the space on the mattress, right beside him and you feet move before you can think, climbing onto the bed, you bury yourself against his side, curling in.

A soft smile graces his lips as he pulls you closer against his side with his free arm, his fingers carding through your hair.

"Tough day?"

"Mmh, it was so tiring," he nods at your reply, taking in a deep breath.

"Yeah? Tell me about it."

"Well for starters, I worked like a dog and then stayed for overtime, my favourite lipgloss finished and when I wanted to treat myself nice; they put too much sugar in my drink." You huff.

"Oh that sounds tiring," he murmurs, "why don't you get some sleep, hm? We can plan a little get-away this weekend." he whispered out, leaning over to keep his book and switch off the lights so they don't burn as sharply against your sleepy eyes.

When he settles back, he's met with a tender quirk of your lips, "You're amazing, Kento," you murmur, letting yourself be shifted carefully against him as he lays down from where he was sitting.

A deep, dulcet chuckle leaves him at that, "Really, what did I do?"

"Nothing, you just are perfect, the perfect husband a girl could ask for," it leaves your sleep-addled mouth before you can even comprehend it, and Kento freezes for just a second, his hand that was brushing your hair pauses in its tracks. On any random day he would have been flattered beyond words, but right now he is flattered and dumbfounded.

"Your husband?" he replies, trying his absolute best not to laugh and wake you up.

You blink, slowly as the realisation sets in and bury yourself against his chest in embarrassment. "Kentoooo" you groan out.

Nanami chuckles and shakes his at your embarrassed antics, utterly endeared, and presses a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Why are you embarrassed, love? Its good you are already getting a habit of it, because it's not that distant of a future."

✶ ࣪˖ SUGURU GETO

The girls started calling you 'mom.' It happened slowly, gradually as you eased your way through the household.

Suguru was still 'Mister-Geto', but you were mom. That was enough for him, that meant everything, to watch the girls find solace in your presence.

A Sunday outing, one of the few rare days Suguru got free time from his cult and the way he spends it is to spend time with Nanako, Mimiko and you. You're seated at the girl's favourite restaurant, the girls on one side and the two of you on the other.

"I'll have a burger," Mimiko chimes "and fries."

"Why are you copying me? I said burger in the car first," Nanako looks at her with a sort of distressed expression.

"No but I thought of it before you said it."

"And I-I thought of it, yesterday."

And apparently they thought of the burger and fries the day before and the day before that, and the day before the day before...

"Girls, calm down," Suguru sighs with a soft chuckle, placing the menu down. "You can both get burger and fries."

"But do you really want to get the same thing everytime, there are other options on the menu too," you suggest, hoping to calm the tension down. "Like Chicken nuggets."

"I'll get Chicken nuggies." Nanako quickly suggests, earning a very obvious side eye from her twin. Suguru sighed, calling for the waiter at that.

"Uhmm, one chicken nuggets meal, a burger with fries and I'll have Aglio Olio and so will my husband." You mutter and the waiter nods, taking your order, and you are met with three curious, wide-eyed people back on your table. Suguru, Nanako, Mimiko; everyone's gaze stuck at you, making you very obviously aware of your blunder.

And for a second you wish you could melt into the seats.

"Are you married to already Mr Geto, mom?" Mimiko speaks out, slightly surprised and you can't help but groan in embarrassment at the innocent curiousity on her face.

"Not yet," Suguru breaks through the awkwardness, answering for you. His soft eyes reaching over to look at you, his fingers intertwining with yours under the table.

And you notice him share a glance with girls, as though a secretive pact you don't quite understand but they do.

"So we still need the rin⎯" Nanako tries to utter, to which Mimiko quickly places her hand on her mouth...yeah its going to be one interesting day.

✶ ࣪˖ SUKUNA

Sukuna has a staring problem and everyone notices it, including your coworkers at your 'stupid work-party' as Sukuna likes to call it. And he draws eyes, everywhere. Its hard to not notiuce him when he's towering everyone, standing in a corner all broody. He's eyeing everyone in the room, staring down at everyone who talks to you. If he were a dog, his damn ears would stiffen if he say anyone walking close to you.

"'Kuna, you are making people scared," you sigh at your boyfriend who's form fills the two piece suit like a damn glove, frankly you want to peel it off him, but that's a conversation for another time.

"Good," he mutter, sipping at the rum in in his glass, his hand slowly caressing the small of your back through your dress, his warmth anchoring you through the flurry of loud interactions.

"Is that woman who keeps bitching about her cheating husband instead of leaving him?" He mutters, languidly pointing of of the fingers of the hand that is holding his glass, a little too loud in your opinion.

"Sukuna!" you hiss to him, a warning, but he just shrugs and smirks, taking yet another sip.

"What, I'm just confirming all you 'tea' is about the right person."

You sigh, internally regretting bringing him as your plus one. your eyes land to your manager walking upto you and you immediately straighten up, putting on the corporate smile.

He walks up, raising an eyebrow towards Sukuna, before he looks expectantly at you for the introductions.

"Sukuna, this my manager, Mr Lim and Mr Lim, this is my husband, Sukuna." You introduce, and notice a bit too late Sukuna's grip around your waist tightens and you look upto with a nervous expression, realising how awkward it would be if he corrects you.

Instead, Sukuna smiles, extending his hand for a handshake "A pleasure."

Soon your manager leaves upon being called and youi feel Sukuna's warm breath on your ear, "Didn't know you were going around introducing me as your husband to people." He whispers.

"I-"

"No need, I like it, wife."

✶ ࣪˖ TOJI

Its three in the damn morning when Toji wakes upto the sound of vegetable chopping.He can't help but groan at the absence of your warmth on your side of the bed, reaching over to sling an arm, but he's met with the cold sheets instead of your sleeping form.

He decides against falling asleep again like an asshole and instead begrudgingly pads to the kitchen, barefoot, scratching his head. "Babe its four in the morning, why are chopping vegetables at this time?" he sighs with a yawn, his voice all sleep-addled and deep. Toji walks upto behind you, nuzzling his face against the crook of your neck as he wraps his arms around your form.

"I was hungry, 'Ji," you murmur. "And craving ramen." You add before he could protest with, 'why didn't you just eat cup noodles?'

"You and your damn cravings," he snorts, watching you stir the mix before he peels himself off you and gets cup noodles.

You look up at him wuth a raised eyebrow, questioningly, wasn't he criticising your random cavings just a minute ago?

"What? Seeing you eat is making me hungry too," he grumbles, boiling water beside you.

"This is nice," you comment with a fond smile, stirring at the makeshift recipe of instant noodles and veggies.

"What is?"

"Just this, cooking together...well not really cooking, but sort of spending time together like this with my husband⎯" You say without paying much attention and do a double take, slowly you turm your head towards Toji to see his reaction and to your surprise he smiles, a soft smile on his face as he watches the water boil.

"Yeah, I like it," he replies, his tone betraying a hint of fondness. "Maybe even as a forever sort of a thing."

[white-poppie]

Status upgrade ?! ⎯ ft. jjk men

feat ⎯ satoru, kento, suguru, sukuna 'n toji

synopsis ⎯ you accidentally refer to your boyfriend as 'husband' !

a/n ⎯ I was giggling the entire time writing this, also sukuna is not the king of curses here because I said so.

✶ ࣪˖ GOJO SATORU

You can't seem to be able to catch your breath with him, not enough air fills in your lungs as you stare at him with clenched fists and a taut jaw.

"What part of 'I didn't want you to take on that mission' did you not understand 'Toru?" you say, exasperated, your voice cracking in sheer frustration after having gone back and forth the same topic infinite times, all ending with 'you know I have to, it's not like I want to,' or something like that.

But you are tired, you really are, the kettle whistling cacophonically when the two of you finally found time for an intimate little movie night, interrupted by a call on his phone and then him subsequently teleporting away like it was nothing. Like you were a fool, feeling all giddy for just finally being able to spend time and woosh, he's gone.

"I'm sorry baby, you know I have no choice, there are people who depend on me." His pretty face crumpled in guilt and annoyance all the same. And every time he says this, it's like his way of shutting you off, because how do you even respond to people's lives being dependent on him?

Its too much, it really is too much sometimes. Somehow, all of these discussions end with you feeling like the douche.

"I hate when you do this," you choke, "I can't even have a little time with my husband now." It leaves and you don't even register it, but Satoru does.

He takes in a deep breath, his own throat in brambles while his heart stutters. A little slip off the tongue and it hits him harder than ever.

"Your husband?" he says, trying so desperately to not let his muscles twitch into a wide grin, but he can't help it. And so against the situation, his eyebrows soften down and little smile appears on his face.

There is a tender feeling in his chest that seizes his entire being, somehow, that one word makes all of it feel so tangible. Your concern, endearing then, seems heartfelt now. A sudden strike of accountability that perhaps stems from the little future he imagines within that few-second interval when you call him your 'husband.'

"Whatever," you bristle, annoyed, embarrassed at the slip of the tongue, turning around to walk away from him, before two muscular arms find their way on your waist and you freeze. His weight against your back, nose nuzzling into your shoulder, tufts of white hair tickling against your skin.

"I'm sorry," he whispers into your shoulder flesh, hot breathing fanning against the skin. His arms tighten around your waist as though holding your back from moving, to keep you planted as you are, in his arms, forever. "I'm sorry, I promise I'll say no, I promise I'll try to reject the missions I can." He whispers out, planting kisses against the expanse of your neck causing you to shiver against his broad frame.

You sigh deeply, hand coming to caress his face. "Okay," you breathe out.

"And as your husband — I should really stick to you like glue, yeah? More so if I wanna make it into reality," His large hand sprawls on your tummy and you can hear that damn smirk on his face.

Your cheeks turn red and you try desperately to backtrack, "It just slipped out of my mouth—"

"Yeah, yeah, as I was saying, do you prefer a pear-cut or a marquise-cut diamond?"

God he is so obnoxious.

✶ ࣪˖ NANAMI KENTO

You're sleepy, so damn sleepy that you could just fall into sleep the instant you find a surface to lay on.

"You look exhausted," Kento comments, his eyebrows furrowed in worry as he looks at your weary form. You peer to look at him through the mirror on your vanity. He looks like a dream. His reading glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, a classic novella in his hands as he leans against the bedrest.

"Come here, love," he pats the space on the mattress, right beside him and you feet move before you can think, climbing onto the bed, you bury yourself against his side, curling in.

A soft smile graces his lips as he pulls you closer against his side with his free arm, his fingers carding through your hair.

"Tough day?"

"Mmh, it was so tiring," he nods at your reply, taking in a deep breath.

"Yeah? Tell me about it."

"Well for starters, I worked like a dog and then stayed for overtime, my favourite lipgloss finished and when I wanted to treat myself nice; they put too much sugar in my drink." You huff.

"Oh that sounds tiring," he murmurs, "why don't you get some sleep, hm? We can plan a little get-away this weekend." he whispered out, leaning over to keep his book and switch off the lights so they don't burn as sharply against your sleepy eyes.

When he settles back, he's met with a tender quirk of your lips, "You're amazing, Kento," you murmur, letting yourself be shifted carefully against him as he lays down from where he was sitting.

A deep, dulcet chuckle leaves him at that, "Really, what did I do?"

"Nothing, you just are perfect, the perfect husband a girl could ask for," it leaves your sleep-addled mouth before you can even comprehend it, and Kento freezes for just a second, his hand that was brushing your hair pauses in its tracks. On any random day he would have been flattered beyond words, but right now he is flattered and dumbfounded.

"Your husband?" he replies, trying his absolute best not to laugh and wake you up.

You blink, slowly as the realisation sets in and bury yourself against his chest in embarrassment. "Kentoooo" you groan out.

Nanami chuckles and shakes his at your embarrassed antics, utterly endeared, and presses a soft kiss on your forehead.

"Why are you embarrassed, love? Its good you are already getting a habit of it, because it's not that distant of a future."

✶ ࣪˖ SUGURU GETO

The girls started calling you 'mom.' It happened slowly, gradually as you eased your way through the household.

Suguru was still 'Mister-Geto', but you were mom. That was enough for him, that meant everything, to watch the girls find solace in your presence.

A Sunday outing, one of the few rare days Suguru got free time from his cult and the way he spends it is to spend time with Nanako, Mimiko and you. You're seated at the girl's favourite restaurant, the girls on one side and the two of you on the other.

"I'll have a burger," Mimiko chimes "and fries."

"Why are you copying me? I said burger in the car first," Nanako looks at her with a sort of distressed expression.

"No but I thought of it before you said it."

"And I-I thought of it, yesterday."

And apparently they thought of the burger and fries the day before and the day before that, and the day before the day before...

"Girls, calm down," Suguru sighs with a soft chuckle, placing the menu down. "You can both get burger and fries."

"But do you really want to get the same thing everytime, there are other options on the menu too," you suggest, hoping to calm the tension down. "Like Chicken nuggets."

"I'll get Chicken nuggies." Nanako quickly suggests, earning a very obvious side eye from her twin. Suguru sighed, calling for the waiter at that.

"Uhmm, one chicken nuggets meal, a burger with fries and I'll have Aglio Olio and so will my husband." You mutter and the waiter nods, taking your order, and you are met with three curious, wide-eyed people back on your table. Suguru, Nanako, Mimiko; everyone's gaze stuck at you, making you very obviously aware of your blunder.

And for a second you wish you could melt into the seats.

"Are you married to already Mr Geto, mom?" Mimiko speaks out, slightly surprised and you can't help but groan in embarrassment at the innocent curiousity on her face.

"Not yet," Suguru breaks through the awkwardness, answering for you. His soft eyes reaching over to look at you, his fingers intertwining with yours under the table.

And you notice him share a glance with girls, as though a secretive pact you don't quite understand but they do.

"So we still need the rin⎯" Nanako tries to utter, to which Mimiko quickly places her hand on her mouth...yeah its going to be one interesting day.

✶ ࣪˖ SUKUNA

Sukuna has a staring problem and everyone notices it, including your coworkers at your 'stupid work-party' as Sukuna likes to call it. And he draws eyes, everywhere. Its hard to not notiuce him when he's towering everyone, standing in a corner all broody. He's eyeing everyone in the room, staring down at everyone who talks to you. If he were a dog, his damn ears would stiffen if he say anyone walking close to you.

"'Kuna, you are making people scared," you sigh at your boyfriend who's form fills the two piece suit like a damn glove, frankly you want to peel it off him, but that's a conversation for another time.

"Good," he mutter, sipping at the rum in in his glass, his hand slowly caressing the small of your back through your dress, his warmth anchoring you through the flurry of loud interactions.

"Is that woman who keeps bitching about her cheating husband instead of leaving him?" He mutters, languidly pointing of of the fingers of the hand that is holding his glass, a little too loud in your opinion.

"Sukuna!" you hiss to him, a warning, but he just shrugs and smirks, taking yet another sip.

"What, I'm just confirming all you 'tea' is about the right person."

You sigh, internally regretting bringing him as your plus one. your eyes land to your manager walking upto you and you immediately straighten up, putting on the corporate smile.

He walks up, raising an eyebrow towards Sukuna, before he looks expectantly at you for the introductions.

"Sukuna, this my manager, Mr Lim and Mr Lim, this is my husband, Sukuna." You introduce, and notice a bit too late Sukuna's grip around your waist tightens and you look upto with a nervous expression, realising how awkward it would be if he corrects you.

Instead, Sukuna smiles, extending his hand for a handshake "A pleasure."

Soon your manager leaves upon being called and youi feel Sukuna's warm breath on your ear, "Didn't know you were going around introducing me as your husband to people." He whispers.

"I-"

"No need, I like it, wife."

✶ ࣪˖ TOJI

Its three in the damn morning when Toji wakes upto the sound of vegetable chopping.He can't help but groan at the absence of your warmth on your side of the bed, reaching over to sling an arm, but he's met with the cold sheets instead of your sleeping form.

He decides against falling asleep again like an asshole and instead begrudgingly pads to the kitchen, barefoot, scratching his head. "Babe its four in the morning, why are chopping vegetables at this time?" he sighs with a yawn, his voice all sleep-addled and deep. Toji walks upto behind you, nuzzling his face against the crook of your neck as he wraps his arms around your form.

"I was hungry, 'Ji," you murmur. "And craving ramen." You add before he could protest with, 'why didn't you just eat cup noodles?'

"You and your damn cravings," he snorts, watching you stir the mix before he peels himself off you and gets cup noodles.

You look up at him wuth a raised eyebrow, questioningly, wasn't he criticising your random cavings just a minute ago?

"What? Seeing you eat is making me hungry too," he grumbles, boiling water beside you.

"This is nice," you comment with a fond smile, stirring at the makeshift recipe of instant noodles and veggies.

"What is?"

"Just this, cooking together...well not really cooking, but sort of spending time together like this with my husband⎯" You say without paying much attention and do a double take, slowly you turm your head towards Toji to see his reaction and to your surprise he smiles, a soft smile on his face as he watches the water boil.

"Yeah, I like it," he replies, his tone betraying a hint of fondness. "Maybe even as a forever sort of a thing."

Masterlist ⎯ 𝐉𝐔𝐉𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐔 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐍

⟢ Get added to: Permanent Taglist 

[white-poppie]

I saw a very similar, close copy of my Older!Toji hcs and idk if its plagirism or not because even the layout seems so similar but I don't want to say anything cause it's smut and maybe they were just inspired 😭!!

Their fic is longer and much smuttier but ughhh idk

The right one is mine, idkkkkk its too similar, i posted mine way back March and this was like two days ago

[white-poppie]

I can't believe I last posted 'properly' in Oct 2024. Its been a while guys. School is over, I am shifting to a new place for college, its a new chapter woah...

I would really love to reconnect with all my moots 😭, its been soooo long.

I'm working on a few projects and plan to be back on my writing schedule teehee

[white-poppie]

WAR IS OVERRRRR

Just two more exams, just two more, I can do it….

[white-poppie]

just one more one more one more

Just two more exams, just two more, I can do it….

[white-poppie]

Just two more exams, just two more, I can do it….

[white-poppie]

HII BB IT’S BEEN SO FREAKING LONG ???

OMG SINNIE MY LOVE IM SO SORRY FOR REPLYING SO LATE IVE BEEN SO BUSY GRADUATION AND FINALS COMING UP (;-;)

How are youuuuuu omg i missed you sm uhuhuhu

[white-poppie]

What if I write a historical au, but- hear me out, hear out...its south-asian royalty instead of the overused victorian trope?

[white-poppie]

HAPPY HOLIII

*dumps a water bucket over your head*

GETS PAKKA RANG HAPPY HOLI GIRLLL <333

[white-poppie]

Since yall like Toji this much, reach this too

PILLOW TALK ⎯ f.toji x reader

SYNOPSIS ⎯ You and Toji have been friends with benefits for months, but you find yourself breaking the very first rule that Toji had set. Beneath the surface of laughter and stolen kisses, a storm of unspoken emotions brews. You have to leave this fragile arrangement...to save yourself from getting hurt from the one sided longing (or so you thought.) GENRE: angst to fluff! INFO: fem reader!, a lone '.' indicates a short timeskip!, Non jujutsu au!, Megumi doesn't exist yet (sorry 'gumi!) WARNINGS: fwb dynamics, situationship, brief mentions of Getou x reader, Gojo being a boy bsf, reader is a university student living alone, age-gap, mentions of seggs (obv but nothing happens cause we holy here.). reader feels guilty, a lot of flashback between the lines, screaming, toji being emotionally constipated, so many metaphors, "Cause I love you!" angry confession. WC: 3k+ (get comfy lol)

Your breaths come in short, hallow gasps, that familiar ache settling in your lower body as you sigh, looking at Toji who rolls down to the space next to you. Both of your breaths fogging the nipping cold.

Seconds turn to minutes, the air in the room thick with the smell of sweat and pleasure. Your frayed breaths soon return to normal, your eyes start drooping in exhaustion.

“Toji..” you mumble turning to face him. He’s lying on the bed with his hand behinds his head.

“Hm? he hums, his gravely voice knocking on the ventricles of your heart.

You don’t reply, just silently stare at his the chisel of his face, the arch of his nose, the thin lines of his lips and the scar that adorns the surface.

“What’s up?” His voice interjects your train of thoughts. He tilts his head over to look at you.

Your eyes feel heavy. Limbs are cold and his heat⏤is a magnet. "Cold." you whisper out, your fingers mindlessly pressing on the pads of his larger, thicker digits.

His onyx eyes are fixed on you. Not a twitch on his face when you play with his fingers. Toji sits up for second. Grabbing the hem of blanket that rests on both of your waists and draws it up until your shoulders, before lying down.

You could only faintly make out his expression from the nightlight. His eyes softening a sliver. But it’s gone before you can comprehend it. Makes you wonder if it ever existed at all or if it was your weary, exhausted and post dopamine rush brain playing tricks.

“You’re starin’ a lot today.” He smirks, an uncouth remark of 'did I do you so good?' Or 'I know I’m hot' just sitting on his lips, but he decides against saying it.

"Sorry." You mumble. The apology cascades down your lips so easily you wonder if it was truly for the staring or something more.

Toji nods slowly, deciding against saying anything, but flinches when your fingers brush against his forearm. He doesn't shift away repulsuvely (to your surprise).

Lays still, starting at the ceiling while your hand is just barely resting on hand⏤ for the faintest human contact. And before you know it, the exhaustion of all the physical exertion tonight, lulls you into sleep quickly.

Toji stays awake for a little longer, shifting to his side as he silently observes you. The way your lips are parted a little, hair tussled from before. He reaches to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear, before he catches himself midway. His eyebrows furrow and he stares at his own hand at the strange instinct that had bubbled in him.

He gulps deeply as he stares at your sleeping self for a couple of seconds longer before he sits up, wearing his clothes that were tossed onto the floor. He stands still in the centre of your room, taking a deep breath, pushing his hair back. He looks back at you and leaves, closing the door behind him, slowly but making sure its locked.

Toji sighs and takes his phone out of his pocket, walking into the street, his dms flooded with messages of girls.

He frowns and closes his phone again, not bothering to read them. Until recently Toji would have replied to most of them...nowadays he doesn't find the energy or the will to do it.

"How did my life get so monotonous?" he says to himself as he walks home. He wonders what happened that he so fixated upon one girl. he says its monotonous, but oddly he's not complaining.

"Must be the age catchin' up." He thinks. His face and body are intact to the wind of aging, everything the same as it was a few years ago except the few greying hair on his head. Not that he minds, its bound to happen one day.

Toji closes the door of his house behind him as he flops down on the couch. Its cold. He wonders when he got used to the warmth of your bed. Its dangerous for him. He has to end this before it gets out of hand. He won't go to your apartment again he decided.

.

The night drowned and the day arose, the sound of your 3 consecutive alarms rang loudly in the studio apartment.

Reaching out your hand instinctively to the other side before a shiver ripples through you at the cold mattress brushing against your skin. Ah, he left again.

Getting up you decide to finish your chores, getting ready for university.

There's a faint emptiness that lingers in your chest throughout the day. The time ticks and hours continue to spend. Its uncomfortable and yet you are unable to point out where it is coming from.

"What's wrong?" A voice interjects. You look over to Gojo, sitting on the desk behind you as the professor continues in the background.

"What do you mean?" You hum mindlessly.

"Don't hit me with that bs, this is the 8th time you have sighed in the past two minutes." He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest. You don't reply.

"Toji left you high and dry last night?" he snickers and you pass him a sharp look.

You and Toji first met up through Gojo on New year's eve. And it was impossible not to be drawn in by Toji's aura : scalding fire in a desolate winter. And you were moth, a moth to the flame.

"Oh so it is about Toji." He whistles lowly, looking around before he leans in. "What happened?"

You sigh. How are you supposed to explain it to him when you yourself don't know what you are feeling. Its just a sickly feeling that is leaving you so confused.

"Dunno." You whisper out and he crooks his eyebrows, wanting you to elaborate. You look at him, "Its complicated."

"Hell yeah it is," he scoffs, "I told you not to get involved with him." 

“I know, Satoru.” You huff in annoyance. You did not want him to chastise you further with his words. 

“But what exactly is the problem?” He ushers.

"I- don't know how to explain it, but I feel empty? I hate when it ends like I know he put on the rules and stuff about how no cuddling, no kissing...but its feeling meaningless. Its supposed to be no strings attached but now there's a ball of yarn." You groan, burying your face in your hands.

Gojo's eyebrows furrow for a second before he looks at you. "Get out of it."

"What?"

"Get rid of this dynamic before its too late." He murmurs.

"Why?"

"Y/N." He says incredulously. "You are catching feelings."

Catching feelings? Entirely impossible. There is no way you were catching feelings for Toji. There was no way you yearning for an embrace post coitus, or wanting him to tenderly caress you, to want a kiss actually meant you were catching feelings, right?

... shit

"Shit, Satoru..." you gape, slapping a hand to your mouth as your heart beat sped up. What you thought were feelings like empathy and just care, were much deeper⏤ Satoru helped you have this epiphany.

Gojo's eyes soften before he sighs, "Move on. You should go on some dates, that would help you actually get a view how many better guys are there." He pauses, "You should go on a date with Suguru."

"Suguru?" You ask quizzically. The guy was in the pol.sci major of your university⏤ him and Satoru go way back, best friends forever.

"He always seems interested in you, I can set you guys up, I’ll give him your number.” He says and you nod, almost defeatedly.

The lecture soon gets over. You pack your things and leave the campus, but your mind is adrift down the memory lane.

The first time you and Toji hooked up is a vivid memory. It was a summer night, sometime in Feb. Gojo had invited you over to his house for a party. The music was loud, the liquor pounding in your ears, your body swaying to the beats.

And his eyes.

His eyes, oh my god, they embraced you- undressed you. They called to you and you couldn't resist like Orpheus couldn't help but look at Eurydice. And before you knew you it, the two of you had ended up behind closed doors.

The way his hands burned upon your flesh, that smirk that gutted you inside out and the butterflies that erupted when he said in his hoary voice, hovering over you. “This isn’t going to be a one time thing sweetheart.” He had whispered, “But let’s set rules for this time and all the fun times to come:”

He had said and you had whined at how he started talking leaving you half naked at which he had obnoxiously laughed.

“Rule 1: no falling in love.” He murmured, the cicatrix decorating the corner of his lip, raising slightly when he spoke the words you have now come to dread.

How did it come to this, you wonder. How did you end up catching feelings for a man so brutish in his ways, so twisted in his deeds?

It must be because of how he restraints himself every time...no it must be cause of the little convos you have when you are all wound up. If you try to remember there were so many days affection and warmth for him had erupted from you.

The day he told you the story behind his scars. The way your heart cracked at the fogginess in his eyes, the coldness in his words. And before you knew it, your fingers were tracing them. He had looked at your finger, unblinking, unflinching, almost leaning into your touch before a smile graced his face that had you flushing red.

The day you somehow broke into tears in his arms after a bad day at college. How mortified you had felt when fat tears rolled down your cheeks. How he suddenly froze, asking what was wrong, the way his eyebrows had slight furrowed, worried that he had somehow hurt you. Before you shook your head and apologised, spilling everything out. Toji had sighed, his eyes softened before his hand reluctantly moved to pat your head

There were too many such incidences that you could go on listing, but it only made you realise that you had sunk a little too deep in this quicksand

You sigh closing the door of your apartment leaning against the wooden contraption.

Ping!

You sigh and check the notification on your phone

(Unknown) Hey Y/N, this is Suguru. Satoru gave me your number.

Are you free this Sunday? I was thinking do you wanna hangout? There's a really good restraunt that just opened in the city.

You bite your lip, knowing that leavin him on seen would be so goddamn rude, but you don't know what do...

(You) Hey Suguru! Sounds good, give me a little time to think about it.

(Suguru) No problem, I'll be waiting

You feel terrible, like a sick twisted woman who is playing with both Suguru and Toji and at the same time. You keep a hand over your mouth, sucking in sharp breaths to let go of the nauseating feeling.

"What am I even doing?" You laugh unhumourosly to yourself.

What do you want? You don't know what you want. Do you want a man like Toji⏤ to be irrevocably in love with you? To cherish you? A man⏤god you don't even specifically know what he does for a living, whatever it is, its not good.

His knuckles are often battered, body bruised like it suffered an impact. You had asked him before and he had said something along the lines of "A man's got to make money doll, sometimes even through dangerous work."

Do you want someone like that to love you?

No. (yes)

A soft cry leaves your mouth as you grip the flower vase next on the table, 'in a crazed female hysteria' as the books say, smashing it against the wall before it shatters into pieces, and so does a little skin of your palm.

You wince and decide to shake it off, returning to the more important work. Your uninjured hand reaches to your phone once again. Someone wise had once said, "Sometimes holding on hurts more than letting go." And what are you holding onto? Some delusions in your mind that are bound to pain you when Toji gets bored?

(You) Come over?

(Toji) I'm on my way

.

Toji had learned too much about you within this little span of a few months, your likes, dislikes...your body's likes and dislikes. Your tone, mood, expressions; he had observed enough to know your state of mind despite how paradoxical you can be. He knew something was wrong.

It made his stomach churn at the thought of you in discomfort. Despite how much ever he tried to deny it, you had softened him around his edges.

And despite how he had told himself otherwise, he was back in your apartment once again.

It awkward. The way he is just standing there, taking in the mood before actually doing anything. His eyes are searching yours for a signal.

What is he supposed to do? Should he just latch himself onto you wordlessly like he used to? Thats animalistic. He is not an animal.

You take a deep breath, just staring into his onyx eyes, surprised at how he is being considerate? Perhaps he all along was, you just failed to notice before.

You wordlessly walk close to him, standing in front of the behemoth man. His eyes mover to your wrist that you are clutching. Its bandaged. He looks up and sees your bottom lip trembling and his face just drops.

His hand movs to grip your wrist and he looks at you with those fricking murderous eyes. "What the hell happened?" He asks and the sudden depth of his voice startles you.

You try to free your wrist from his grasp but its too tight. "Nothing- nothing happened I just cut myself by mistake, I swear." You say and his stiff shoulders soften before he nods and lowers your hand, still holding it.

You take a shaky breath, looking at your hand and then back into his eyes. He is not helping. Acting all concerned like he wants to hurt you. Like he enjoys playing with your heart

"I am going on a date with Getou." You drop the bomb and his eyebrows furrow, grip on your hand slipping out before he nods softly, wordlessly.

You're growing annoyed at his lack of reaction. But maybe it doesn;t effect him like you want it to. It makes you all more mad. "Say something. Toji"

"What am I supposed to say?" He says out, his voice wavering so slightly that you don't notice it, but inside he feels as if someone kept a boulder on his chest. Toji was old enough to know what this was, he didn't need to be denial because he had learned that care—not the fleeting kind that you think you vibe with a person— but the kind that your hearts beat in synchrony, the painful kind.

You take a shaky breath and chuckle a bitter laugh leaving your throat, "What are we Toji?"

And Toji swears he feels like the scummiest man on earth wehn he sees those fat tears brimming in your eyes.

And he knows he's going to hurt you if he says it out loud so instead he opts for saving both of you from the hurt.

"Fooling around, we’re fooling around, that’s all. That’s what we’ve been doing all along, right?" He says but its not convincing.

"Bullshit." You scoff. "Then why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like...its something more than these stupid rules in this stupid mess we've gotten ourselves in." You shout out and Toji's jaw clenches.

"Fuck, what do you want me to do?" He grits out and you freeze for a second. He sees your reaction and his jaw unclenches, tone a lot softer, "You want me address this and make it worse? You want me ruin your life, baby, I can do that. I can do that well enough that why I set those rules. I set them for my sake and now I am keeping them up for your sake."

You grab the collar of his shirt, "Why are you caring?! If you want to kiss me, kiss me! Why do you care if I get hurt!"

"Cause I love you!" He shouts, his voice echoing in your apartment. "And I don't want you to get hurt. I know I have dug my grave, I don't know where it went wrong, alright? I cannot be bound to a thing, a place heck even a person and somehow, here I am, so weak for someone, its going to get me killed."

"Toji..." you whimper out, your voice cracking, you are killing him.

"You can't fix me, Y/N. I am going to hurt you and myself." He whisper and before you know it, his thumb is tracing your jaw so tenderly you feeling like its a dream.

"I don't want to fix you." You mumble out, leaning against his hand, "You are a good person Toji, deep beneath all that, I don't need to fix you, if I needed to, you wouldn't be right here."

Toji breaths out deeply, leaning his neck down to place his forehead against yours, "You make me wanna be a better man." He whispers, pressing his lips against yours.

.

Getou wakes up at 2 to his phone ringing. Without checking the caller he picks up the phone irritated at who disturbed his sleep.

"Hello?" he mumbles out sleepily.

"Forget about her." Says Toji's voice that makes him flinch. He checks the caller Id ihis eyes widening when he sees the name 'Y/n' on his phone...looks like Satoru clearly forgot some details.

- FANFICTIONS

A/N: My longest fic yet, phew. Guys I spent so long on this, please show some love?

[white-poppie]

older toji = grandpa

GENUINELY OMG I JUST DID IT TO CATER TO THE TOJI FANS. He's deadbeat asfff :P

[white-poppie]

𐙚 ‧₊˚ Thinking 'bout Older!Toji <33

Older!Toji who very clearly needs reading glasses but refuses to wear them because "he doesn't need it." So he's just squinting his eyes trying to read whatever is written on the newspaper.

Older!Toji who's your biggest hypeman; you'll find him whistling "damn mama" at anything you wear, sweatpants, large ugly t-shirts? He's hyping you up like you're wearing designer clothes, his hands constantly on your butt, smacking whenever he has a chance. And if you whine cutely, he'll just chuckle and do it again!

Older!Toji who just refuses to fight with you even if it's for valid reason. You'd be screaming at him, and he'll wait till you tire out and just look at you with a coy smirk and say, "You done, baby?" ugh, he's so annoying.

Older!Toji, who has this weird thing where he squishes your face and then leans down to kiss your puckered lips with an audible smooch.

Older!Toji who's super clingy in the morning (contrary to popular belief) and just sags half of his body weight on you, and you can barely move. " 'jus five more mins ma," he'd whisper in his hoary voice and you'd have no choice but to relent.

Older!Toji who doesn't have the energy he used to have in his younger years, so after particularly tiring days, he just wants to lay his head on your lap and have you run your fingers through his hair and he's out like a baby...except the fact his snores could wake up the entire neighbourhood.

Older!Toji who loves wearing the black compression shirt and grey sweatpants combo just to see you salivate over him. He pats his thighs and gestures for you to sit on his lap before burying his nose in your neck and pressing a kiss on your shoulder.

Older!Toji fell in love with you all over again when he let you shave his face after you insisted. He just looks up at you with his intense eyes, being so silent you can't even tell if you accidentally hurt him or something, and after you're done, he grabs your hand and whispers out, "I swear to god, I am gonna marry you again."

[white-poppie]

i love this new theme so much that i do a lil giggle everytime i open tumblr and see it

[white-poppie]

Do you have any self-ships?

me x survival, me x trying to live, me x this horrible world, me x a mountain peak, me x death