#is maybe worse than either
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#I am certain the pap pics of Louis in Malibu were taken before the death#but before or after (as they claim they are) can I say how fucking creepy it is sending drones or whatever#to take pictures of him and his family chilling and living their lives in the private yard of their private fucking rental#obviously 20x worse if now but honestly not remotely okay if a few days ago either#and actually doing that and then sitting on them and then being like ooh yeah I know what'll get clicks#we'll use these now and say they are current look he doesn't care he's fine#is maybe worse than either#SO FUCKING GROSS AND WRONG#(although obvs if they are current not being visibly in tears at all times doesn't remotely mean anyone is fine I LOOK FINE RN#it doesn't mean I'm not fucking sad as shit)
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(random s5 finale musings) tbh I don't think Marinette chose to keep The Secrets™ from Adrien because Gabriel asked her to. I feel like Marinette keeping secrets like that is so consistent with her character; she hates giving people bad news, she hates rocking the boat, she hates upsetting people, she always chooses to keep any 'controversial' information to herself for as long as she can get away with (examples: bubbler scarf, telling Queen Bee she was benched, confessing to Adrien, warning Chat Noir about Scarabella or Rena Furtive, never told Chat Noir about Chat Blanc, etc) that I just totally believe she would've done it either way. She was even already having nightmares about Adrien hating her for finding out she defeated his father, so I feel like Gabriel's request was moreso giving her a go-ahead than it was a primary deciding factor, yknow?
#ml s5 spoilers#tbh half the time when thinking about it I forget that gabriel asked her to do it at all#because it just feels like such a Marinette™ thing to do to me lol#to be fair maybe I'm downplaying it? I do think Gabriel's plea struck some emotional chord with her too and helped push her that direction#but again I. totally believe she'd do it either way#and I do strongly believe that her decision is moreso ''I don't want to hurt Adrien'' than it is ''I want to honor Gabriel's final wish''#she loves to avoid verbal/emotional problems and hoooo boy idk a worse verbal/emotion problem than#telling your boyfriend that his entire life is a lie and that he's not entirely human and that he was abused and controlled and puppeteered#all his life and also that his father was a terrorist and that she saw his mom's corpse in the basement#I mean. I don't think I'd have the emotional maturity to break that to someone either and I'm not.... FOURTEEN.... LOL
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saviour
#click for quality#my art#my gif#kotor#revan#darth revan#bastila shan#first time animating!#digital art#also; this was my 'I'll follow the initial idea & draft and not diverge away from that' thing — but guess what!#animation happened instead#code eclipse: records#image quality when I've not clicked into the image is much worse on app than web — web has it the normal way but. hm.#some setting maybe?#the cape is barely visible either way but.#well — it is visible enough in the downlanded version I suppose though I'd still have made it brighter if I knew#star wars
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I was once again thinking about this goofy Luffy moment after his Lucci punch™ and i had to see it frame by frame.
first the force of it throws them both away, and while Lucci is seen on screen tumbling for a long moment, Luffy is just away in a blink of an eye.
and then his funny scene - his legs are like jelly that he tries to get under control,
he stumbles, falls, rolls into a mix of all his limbs and eyes,
and then only the cloud behind him cushions his fall
- which would be interesting if he can subconsciously control that while he tries to regain the control over his movements - that the environment around him still adapts to his awakened Devil Fruit abilities and morphs to help him. Where others would probably fall through that cloud, for Luffy that cloud backs him up like a trampoline.
It's just fascinating!
#still thinking about this new ep? its more likely than you think#monkey d. luffy#monkey d luffy#one piece#one piece spoilers#one piece ep 1100#luffy#mine#gif:op anime#long post#egghead arc#egghead spoilers#op spoilers#sun god nika#gear 5#i guess something like that might have been already used in wano but its these new eps that im caught up with so its like. new for me lol#and something i can notice while waiting for a new eps#i wanna know more how much the DF controls luffy and how much he is able to control it.. . *thinking face*.#especially if what im thinking could be some parallels between lucci having worse control over his DF (in the current manga) than he thinks#if it changes his characteristics that much and if that could be used as storytelling point to see that either 1. yeah it could be potentia#danger for luffy too. or 2. luffy is that stronger that he can already control it better by now. even maybe subconsciously#i just love how this anime part aired during that interesting rob lucci manga chapter few weeks ago. like.. so many thoughts
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I know the ending was bleak and tragic but I find it hard to believe that the crew's family would not be outraged with the company and go off to search for them on their own or at the very least hire a PI/search & rescue to find them. It definitely wouldn't take 20 years for them all to be found. Months at best. However, they all likely still would've been found dead because they didn't have enough supplies to last until they were all found.
At the very least I just can't fathom them all floating through space rotting away and NO ONE actually looks for them. No way. Specifically Daisuke and Swansea's family.
Like I think about this so much. How much would it cost? What would the company say to cover their ass? (We all know how corporations are. Especially this one.) Would they not even acknowledge any concern? How much hush money would they attempt to offer? How would the families cause enough of an uproar for the company to take action? What lies would the company spread before finally accepting that they're at fault? How long of a battle would the families put up with before taking matters into their own hands? Would this cause there to finally be proper work regulations? Not specifically for a crew since the Tulpar was the last, but in general for any job with humans at the helm.
I don't even wanna think about if any of the family finally finds the ship and goes on board. Daisuke's parents would be devastated and guilty. Swansea's kids would be outraged, seeing the bullet hole in their father's head. You even have to wonder about Curly and Anya's family too. I don't think they'd be allowed on the ship just simply for the fact that the investigator/S&R would know that the crew would likely not be in a good state when found. So that puts my mind somewhat at ease. None of their families has to immediately see that whole scene. But they would have to identify the bodies, and that's what hurts me.
#More musings#This game haunts me lmao#Like I think about this shit so much it lives rent free in my head fr fr#Bc we see this shit in real life#Companies at fault for wrongful deaths#And Pony Express is at fault. Make no mistake.#Extensive psych evals should've been done long before they boarded the ship#Proper regulations too#There was no reason to tell Curly that news way before they landed. He is at fault partially but...#I'm constantly thinking of their families#I think about how my family reacts if someone is missing or got hurt or how they died#There is just no freaking way the Tulpar would only be found 20 years later or not at all. No way.#Whether Curly would live after being found is...idk. There'd be a lot of blood loss and possible infections to worry about.#Would he even want to live like that? Traumatized as hell?#I like to think that because of his injuries it would be clear he didn't cause the incident but who knows#Maybe forensics and investigation is way better in the future lol#I'm being too hopeful maybe.#I didn't mention Jimmy's family because they could be one of two ways- they could be assholes like him or-#They enabled him worse than Curly ever did. And since I've met men like Jimmy his parents probably suck or at least one sucked#And the other was an enabler. Either way...I don't wanna talk about his parents. It's rare that they're good nice people.#Or they could just not be around. Which is another explanation. We don't know for sure.#But I guarantee they're enablers and his father probably acts just as bad as he does if not worse.#Okay I'm done now lmao. Poor tags.#Mouthwashing#Mouthwashing Daisuke#Mouthwashing Swansea#Mouthwashing Anya#Mouthwashing Curly#Personal#Vent
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interconnected young númenórean OCs:
oruzîr: native of romenna from a faithful family, loosely associated with the brotherhood. he's taken when random people are being picked off the streets in Romenna in retaliation for a joint assassination attempt on Sauron and Ar-Pharazon (the loyalists are filtered out, of course, but he's very much not) and killed-slash-sacrificed. I am not giving any details but, uh, it's not pleasant by any means because of the whole "collective punishment and deterrent against treason" facet.
he also becomes the basis of a lot of númenórean/gondor-arnorian folklore about dead people appearing to their kin in dreams (together with gorlim from the first age probably) because he does. more than once, and all with namo's permission, he's just waiting for his best friend to arrive in the halls and there are those whose spirits can be raised by the appearance of someone who died well and is now a given value of okay.
angrod: yes, his parents chose a random name from the histories, next question; on a day to day basis he goes by something adunaic. taken on the same day as his best friend and for the same reasons, killed a few days after him. one of the people oru did talk to in dreams, they leave the halls together.
ireth: oru's cousin and other best friend, born and raised somewhere beyond romenna. her family moved to pelargir a few years before the other was killed, because the situation in númenor was getting too bad for their liking and that's probably how she survived everything that happened. also talks with oru in a dream, raises a symbolical grave for him in her garden which becomes something of a local curiosity/chapelet in later days. her letters regarding the post-mortem conversation are probably the best preserved account of the whole idea. childhood friend to several members of the brotherhood.
dirên: youth engaged to avalêzrê, very deep in illegal activities. he is killed while leading a fugitive "traitor" to the coast.
khamil: dirên's younger brother, raised by him after their parents passed on from illness, 14 at time of death. in the absence of a dirên to question he is unfortunately arrested by the king's men and brought to the temple where in dire circumstances he manages not to reveal the names of any of his brother's co-conspirators. I feel guilty for killing him off because lil bro is the same age and I realised that's actually a kid when I put the two together.
avalêzrê: she's the unofficial leader of a group in romenna that calls itself the brotherhood for lack of a better name and consists of several "full-time" and several looser affiliated members. their goals are non-military, they mostly occupy themselves with the collection of medical and financial support, preservation of art and culture, as well as passing on messages for whoever among the faithful might have need such service.
tirithon: core member of the brotherhood. taken by sauron, he is unable to keep many of the others secret under interrogation. sacrificed soon after.
azgabar: friend of tirithon betrayed by him. he holds no grudge and forgives him in the halls before they go on.
azrathel: sole survivor of the brotherhood, former neighbour of oruzîr and angrod. she meets and becomes a friend of ireth after the downfall.
súrion: an acquaintance/loose friend of azrathel and one of the people who came up with the assassination plot. if he ever learns about the azrathel-ireth-oruzir connection it's going to be awkward, especially as he's probably going to meet ireth someday. ("your cousin kinda died instead of me, and tbh neither of us should have died but uh if anyone here committed treason it was not him and maybe I should have predicted the outcome")
#this probably pins the speaker of my last númenor fanfic as azrathel really#also idk if I'll be able to write anything more for them cause uh. I declined to share anything about oru's manner of death#but I did come up with something and now I can't unsee it when I think about him#and I can't really say 'no that's not what happened' either because sauron very much WOULD do that#also this is why i say I'd prefer to live under hitler than pharazon; when the nazis did retribution they at least put people to the wall#(also yeah I know they did worse things too AND it's me coming up with the Númenor stuff mostly#but in my defense antiquity-ish despots were big on gruesomeness)#tw human sacrifice#tw death#tw implied torture#tw child death#<- writing about númenor comes with a ridiculous number of these thought the above are the ones I use most often#*sighs*#oruzîr#angrod of romenna#ireth#dirên#khamil#(have I given the youngest of the victims a name that is one letter off from the name of my brother who died in childhood... yeah it seems.#maybe I'll change it because this is awkward)#avalêzrê#tirithon#azgabar#azrathel#súrion#númenor#my post#Silmarillion#silm
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... Made myself legitimately, physically sad thinking about Kory's place on Earth post NTT /in modern comics generally.
#i have so much catch up to do#but from what i understand/ have seen?#she's either still on whatever incarnation of Titans but like. babysitting. or in TT's Titans generally being ignored#or in RHATO where you could argue she finally snapped but honestly its not even the same character#and it's just ... so sad?#i genuinely hope there's stuff I'm missing and will find out later#because she has no family on Earth except the Titans and it feels like they all either died or moved on#and maybe she's working with the next gen#but who gives a damn about her as Kory?#it makes the writing between her and Roy in RHATO that much worse#because yeah he SHOULD have been fucking worried when she showed up claiming amnesia#and lets be real its not like she's getting respect on earth- dc wont let her#Koriand'r#there's at least a decent friendship with Vic in JL Odyssey from what i remember#but like#... i hope she gets better than i think she does
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i think it's actually very brave to fight for yourself when no one else will, to insist upon your own self worth, if only in your own actions and self-preservation, when everyone around considers you worthless or unworthy.
If no one else cares about you, you will care, if no one else loves you, you will try to show yourself love to the best of your ability, even if you don't know it, if no one else will protect you then you will fight for yourself. Keep yourself alive. No one else will and it's you're no less worthy than who you're being told to put yourself to the side for, to die for, to admit you are nothing for.
It's trauma, it's resilience, it's survival, it's fight, it's advocacy, it's perseverance, it's natural, it's difficult, and it's brave.
#i'm not tagging the villain trio individually but...#consider mxy was the only one of that “squad” to sacrifice himself for someone considered more worthy and he's not anymore respected#or considered for it. Nobody thinks of him at all.#If anything NHS gets the credit for his death for baiting him into suicide and that's... Anyway#If SMS died to the Wen - either in CR or in the Cave of Slaughter depending on the version of canon - nobody would even think his name agai#If JGY had “sacrificed himself” things would probably be a lot worse but no one would give him any consideration other than maybe#to deride him for fucking up by sacrificing himself lmao#It's always seen as brave and good to help other people but cowardly and selfish to help yourself but like...#if no one cares to help you and never would then that's just saying other people are more important than you. You don't matter.#and it's actually very good and brave to stand against that I think. You should help yourself esp. if you are the only one who ever will#XY is the clearest example of this tbh. If he didn't fight for himself he'd have been dead a long time ago#as an unloved little 7ish year old child#the same society that condemned him to die on the streets as a child because they simply did not care#now condemn him for not understanding the love that was never shared with him. for surviving when they'd rather he died#because these “bad aspects” of these characters aren't despite surviving tragic pasts and difficult circumstance#and they aren't really because of them either#the “bad aspects” ARE survival
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Morro except after all the healing and growing he meets the preeminent again and she destroys his mental state, leaving him once again without his sanity.
#lego ninjago#ninjago#now imagine this either post redemption arc with the ninja or pre ots still good#sorru having too many thoughts on him rn#just of Morro growing only fir everyone to iver look who exactly broke him so much and it was the preeminent here#yes the weird eldritch octopus moster broke his sanity what of it#wdym all you bear is weird grumbles from said octopus monster? wdym you can hear her cussing you out like a toxic asian aunty?#but WORSE#morro ninjago#morro wu#the preeminent#use this as you will i jusy like thinking of the preeminent to really match the vibe her ghosts have#what with teh whole CURSED GHOSTS thing#and you know#being evil enough to enter a realm dedicated for evil people#just the preeminent ruininh everything morro is all over again#because let be real Morro from when he died and Morro from possession is not the same#even if he didnt age at all he still experienced dexades of time#in a realm of literally the worst peopel out there#and said realm is like the second embodiment of evil#sooo#he defo faced some stuff there#poor guy only a teen and he’s got more trauma then wu at this rate#tho maybe wu is a stretch#no one pther than garmadon can reach wu’s level of mentally unwell
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sorry for finding it hot when a cold and detached character gets put through the wringer and loses more and more of their emotional shields until they're an unhinged, seething mess ready to tear something down with their bare hands and unable to control their feelings. I'm right though
#tropes#writing#favorite tropes#storytelling#character dynamics#maybe it's the vulnerability#maybe I just enjoy characters revealing hidden depths that are worse or more complex than their everyday selves#either way it's so <3#to all the people who were following me before I got into darker fiction I am so sorry lmao#my posts
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FUCK
aelwyn abernant i??? don't hate you???
#I used to see stuff of aelwyn before watching The Scene#(which I just finished in ep 9 of sophomore year)#and be so confused bc I was like “this bitch???”#& is she a bitch maybe but the “expectation without love” thing got my little wheels turning & now I just cant stop thinking about it#about how maybe her parents never loved her either#about how maybe because she was told she could do no wrong that then she COULD do no wrong#about how#almost... scared she sounds to talk ill of their parents despite knowing what they have been implicated in doing to her#(or at least presumably so#I havent finished the ep yet)#so for her to be AFRAID of upsetting the very people who PUT her in here#who have twisted her mind so badly she cannot remember anything#for close to a year...#GOD i want to fucking strangle angwyn abernant#to put a child so high atop a pedestal that the fall would kill her#and another so far into the background she hardly exists#FUCK#their parents deserve worse than death#adaine abernant#adaine fantasy high#adaine fanart#aelwyn abernant#aelwyn fantasy high#adaine and aelwyn#fantasy high sophomore year#fantasy high#fantasy high spoilers#fhsy#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high
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Womens technical committee incomptent ?
Fork found in kitchen
#there are simply so many layers#one of which i think is that romania didnt know they could inquire OOB until later but are maybe not admitting that#also i still cant tell if the swinging foot doesnt graze oob because it looks real close#i cant believe they created a worse paul hamm situation#also some of the twitter takes are v bad#like lets not say protect the athletes than ask for chiles to be stripped of a medal days later because uh thats not great either#see paul hamm situation above#ALSO NBC SHOWED THE MOST DAMNING CLIP
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honestly i could write essay after essay about everything that made that finale bad. and i will. however comma i genuinely do not care about any of these characters enough to want to do that. i don't want to spend my time critiquing and analysing a show where all the characters are boring and the plot is all deus ex machina.
LIKE. WHO IS RUBY. WHO IS SHE. WHO FUCKING IS SHE.
she's done with the whole SEASON. she was in EVERY episode. and we literally don't know anything about her apart from the whole mom mystery thing which is all for the big reveal at the end anyway?
and i can talk about the ways in which that was unsatisfying and so on. but like what does that tell us about RUBY? what do we know about HER
and the answer is honestly very little. ruby is such a stock doctor who companion that it's just kind of boring. she gets a big mystery, because of fucking course she does, and who is she outside of that? nice?? sweet?? does as she's told?? (this one is fucking boring btw) kind of like the chibnall companions, she's whoever she needs to be for the situation at hand. the writers say ruby needs to be shocked by landing on a planet after 6 months of travelling with the doctor, so she is. she isn't a person. she has one desire, which is to find her mother, and the only reason she gets to have that is that rtd needs to set up whatever the fuck was going on with her mom for the finale. that's it.
and the doctor. like why should we care about this doctor specifically, outside of the fact that this is the character we have been following for the whole show? who is he??? like seriously who is he? he doesn't get any character development? what makes him different from other doctors? who the fuck is this guy????
i said earlier that ncuti's doctor is what you get when you throw all the doctors in a blender and i stand by that. he's definitely the doctor, but he's like an average of all the other doctors with nothing particularly unique or special about him. ruby is what you get when you throw all the companions in a blender. definitely a companion, with nothing unique or special about her either. much like chibnall's companions, all she gets to do is stand around and watch.
and the crucial missing factor is we don't get to see what they see in each other. which from the companion's perspective is still excusable because here's a dude with a spaceship time machine and that sounds kind of sick so lets go and travel with him is an understandable motivation. but what does he see in her? because there's always a moment where you can see the doctor sort of think, oh yeah, i should travel with this person.
but there isn't really this moment with ruby. it's kind of like with how thirteen meets her companions. she just sort of runs into them, and now they're stuck together. and ncuti does get to emote more than jodie, so at least you can see that ruby and the doctor do like each other, but their relationship isn't really fleshed out ever. and like i can buy ruby risking her life for him, because that is just sort of what happens on doctor who, but it's not based on anything. we don't see them develop this trust of each other. their relationship doesn't get developed. it just appears fully formed.
#alexis.exe#dw crit#rtd critical#doctor who critical#i mean i do have more to say#but the main reason this season didnt work for me was that the character work was ass#im simply not invested in any of these characters#when everyone died#like.#yeah that like sucks so hard#but you have to make me CARE about the CHARACTERS#'if you want me to feel bad that they died#i literally felt worse about that one random woman with the dead baby dying than i did about rubys family or fucking rose noble#or that kid genius unit is definitely violating some kind of labour code to employ#didnt even feel bad about kate she's a joke at this point#she hires every single side character its ridiculous#im pretty sure the 13 year old is not old enough to work in the uk btw#didnt feel bad about mel getting possessed by sutekh either lmao bc i knew nothing interesting would happen there#and i was right#idk if you kill Everyone in your story you should maybe make it actually have an emotional impact#im gonna finish my dw complaining in a few days and go rewatch the s10 finale#do yall remember when doctor who was good. i do
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headcanon that Scar is the only one we don't see die after winning a Life series because time is a loop and he moved on alone in the world, which then became the start of his The Crafting Dead series.
#this makes no sense about anything ever shush leave me alone#I'm still just sitting here with the idea that scar is the only one we don't see die after winning#every other player either jumps off a cliff or blows up or is struck by lightning or runs out of time...#scar's just built different#or maybe the universe knows winning a life game isn't actually winning#and they (whoever 'they' are) are punishing him#or rewarding him but the reward is worse than a punishment#the fates are fickle and fae and apparently they like scar#who is indeed fickle and fae himself
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bro watching hockey is a disease, i thought that post about your OCs in a QPR was about real life men..... and the worst fucking part, i agreed that those two real life men could be in a qpr.
anyways, please PLEASE tell me more about your OCs seeing you post about them brings me a lot of joy (this sounds odd, considering the first part of the ask, but this is the first time i have made that connection)
HELP???? IM GONNA CRY, THAT’S SO FUCKING FUNNY……….. hockey rpf really IS inescapable
i’m so glad people wanna hear me talk about em, cos i love talking about em!! they’re just my silly little guys :3 and bugsy’s silly little guys. our joint custody guys
as far as quinn and leon go, they’ve been together for…. four years maybe? since about junior year of high school. and it’s been the longest and most stable relationship either of them have ever been in. even before they were a thing, quinn got leon through a lot of his early teen angst, so she’s pretty much always been his rock. she’s gotten him through a fair share of breakups, too, including at least three “breakups” with milo— leon likes the idea of dating, but at the end of the day, even if that never worked out for him he’d be fine. this is all he really needs.
#breakups is in quotes because is it a breakup if you’re not *officially* dating#and just have some fucked up homoerotic thing going on that always ends in disaster b4 either one of you gets the guts to make it official#that’s actually worse. maybe. that’s worse than a breakup#my ocs#mall project
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going through another round of "what if i got a cane would my life be easier with a cane should i get a cane" hmmmm
#ctxt#chronic blogging#i'd probably hold off until i'm further into treatment to see if it improves things enough to remove the (maybe??) need#but a lil extra support sure would be nice#i don't really have trouble walking usually. occasionallygetting up from sitting is hard#mainly it just FUCKING HURTS standing still for longer than a couple minutes#and flamingoing it to put all my weight on one foot isn't very comfortable either#i feel like it would increase comfort a lot to be able to distribute my weight more evenly between my good side & a cane#but i'm not sure if it would make enough of a difference to be worth lugging a cane around and having it be in the way when not in use#i would want something made of lightweight wood and with enough of a curve to the handle that i could hook it over my elbow#to keep it outta the way. or get one of those wrist straps#idk my mobility isn't really limited but i am in a lot of pain frequently and standing without something to lean on makes it a lot worse#cane users please feel free to weigh in
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