#is like the house on fire meme or whatever

[soft-spot-for-speedsters]

I am fending Crisp Rat off from DC with a mental baseball bat.

ʘ⁠‿⁠ʘ

[capsiclesteebrogers]

legit saw a team bl*ck stan say that alicent is a terrible mother and maybe she should have mothered less because her children are either horrible or hate her. are they really that idiotic? do they really think alicent can just say no to viserys WHO FORCED THOSE CHILDREN ON HER? they assume she had a choice when she did not. she never did.

[glittter-vamp]

Buns |J.B

Warning/AN: Mentions of butts. Bit Raunchy. Some minor vulgar language. Fluffy-ish. Just something to quickly enjoy.

You couldn't help but to laugh at the tweets you were reading on your phone. Last night your boyfriend Joe, that just so happens to be the star QB of the Cincinnati Bengals had a bit of a wardrobe mishap. It was LSU all over again. One of the players had accidentally held onto his pants trying to stop him from making it to the end-zone with the ball. Which meant, he showed his amazing butt cheeks on national TV...once again. You could only imagine how much the guys on the team were making fun of him. The internet was having a complete field day and many of the jokes were actually funny and you couldn't help but laugh and enjoy them.

"Full moon in Miami last night even though the forecast said rain showers." One of the tweets said.

"Awesome game last night, but totally got blinded by some surprise QB buns. Joe shiesty could use a tan." Another said. They were a bit mean but yet quite funny. 

"This just in, NFL is releasing a line of hotdog bread called Burrow's Buns, Joe burrow sold separately " Said the next. You just couldn't get enough.

You didn't know how long you had been scrolling down the memes and jokes on social media before you heard the garage door open. You quickly put your phone down and paid attention to whatever show was on the tv that you had drowned out in the time you were laughing at the jokes and memes. Joe walked into the house saying a soft 'Hey' and came up to you giving you a sweet kiss. He looked exhausted. "Hey baby, I made lasagna. Want me to heat it up for you?" You ask. "Please, I'm gonna go shower really quick." He says heading upstairs. You went into the kitchen heating up the food for him in the oven. As you wait, you were reading the memes your best friend had sent you about Joe. They had you laughing so hard you didn't realize Joe had came back down. "Whatcha laughing at?" he asks raising an eyebrow. "Hm?" You hum putting your phone face down. "Oh nothing, Taylor sent me some stupid tiktoks." You say checking on the food. "About?" He asks. "Just some dogs being funny." You shrug. You didn't want to lie to him but you didn't want to also add to the fire. I'm sure he got enough shit from the team and the internet for the past 16 hours. 

"Mom wants to know if we can make it to dinner tomorrow? I should be able to get out of practice at 4." He says going to the fridge to grab a water bottle. "Yeah that sounds fun, I work from home tomorrow so I can take you and pick you up at practice." You nod. As you take out the lasagna your phone dings. You make eye contact with Joe before he quickly grabs it and looks at the message. "I knew it! Not you too, What the hell Y/N!" he whines and you giggle. "Baby I'm sorry! but you have to admit...it's a little funny." You say holding in a laugh. "Is not!" He says like a child. 

"Hey look on the bright side, everyone knows you have an amazing ass. Not many guys can say that." You say and he gives you a look. "I thought my own girlfriend would be nice enough to not partake in the conversation and jokes about my butt, but here we are" He shakes his head and you snort. "You said but." You giggle and he gives you a look. "I'm just going to eat my meal in peace, okay?" He says turning to get a plate and you decide you pinch one of his cheeks. "Boop!" You say and he quickly turns around and towers over you looking down trying to hold in a laugh himself. "Okay, okay... I'm sorry! I'm done, it's over." You say trying to stop laughing. He slowly turns around to get a plate and you slowly grab your phone making your way out of the kitchen. "Okay but quick question, have you at least tried making it clap?" You ask and he quickly grabs the paper towel roll and throws it at you like her would a football but you were just quick enough to have it graze your back as you run away laughing. 

[diagonal-queen]

The ADA as your roommates

♡ characters: Atsushi Nakajima, Dazai Osamu, Kunikida Doppo, Yosano Akiko, Jun'ichiro Tanizaki, Naomi Tanizaki, Ranpo Edogawa, Yukichi Fukuzawa

♡ synopsis: How good are the ADA at being roommates?

♡ cw: This is a post born out of medication-induced sleeplessness and months of pent up unfiltered fury directed at my shitty, shitty housemates. Some of that resentment may shine through in the headcanons. Also naughty words, NSFW themes with Dazai

note: hey y'all. i know it's not a request but it's the best i've got right now. law school and depression are kicking my ass. y'know that meme with the tiny man, and then the two buff dudes start beating the shit out of him? that's law school and depression with me. as always apologies for errors and i hope you enjoy x

Atsushi:

Help he's so sweet and awkward all the time?? Always gives you a little wave or a smile and nod when you pass each other in the halls

He buys candies and chocolates and things and leave them in a bowl on the table for people to take if they want :')

When his roommates feels sad he takes the time to hang out with them and help them through whatever problem they're having

In the morning when he comes into the kitchen to make breakfast he's all yawny and has a scruffy bedhead and it's SO cute

He doesn't do it consciously, but on occasion Atsushi will fall asleep on the couch, and even more occasionally he'll transform into Byakko in his sleep. You get used to it after a while, but you can't really invite friends over unless you know Atsushi is in his room or out of the house T-T

But he really is so sweet. If you bring someone over they develop a crush on him immediately, but of course he's oblivious. After they leave he turns to you and is like 'aw your friend is nice' (they were hardcore flirting with him)

If he ever has an issue with you or the house, he gets very nervous when bringing it up because he doesn't wanna cause any conflict (you could be smashing the plates on the ground every day and he'd be like 'hey so i'm super duper sorry to bother you like i really hate to nag but-')

My mans. Is doing. His BEST

Dazai:

Screw you.

Holy shit this guy is an absolute nightmare to live with. he'll drive you crazy within the week just because of how *little* he does around the house

He doesn't clean his dishes. He doesn't buy stuff for the house. He doesn't do a DAMN thing.

Preferably, if you're gonna be living with him, you'll also wanna bring Kunikida. He has his own issues but at least then there's a balance between a chore-driven man and the embodiment of sloth, the deadly sin

He will stumble through the front door at 3am with unkempt clothes and the stink of alcohol on him. and he won't bother trying to be subtle or quiet either. Just crashes around until he pukes on the floor and falls asleep on the couch

At least he flushes (more than I can say for my housemates /gen)

He drinks in the house, and leaves bottles everywhere. The entire place is damn near bordering a safety hazard because of all the glass

Tries to cook but absolutely can't do it- he sets fires, ruins the kitchen, etc etc. It wouldn't be unreasonable for you to assume that all takeout packaging and pizza boxes you find strewn around the house belongs to him

He's fully up for a secret hookup if you're into that, though. Just give his door a knock after 11pm and you're in

Kunikida:

This guy is both a saint and a total pain in the arse

On one hand, he does his chores and he does them literally perfectly. Is there even a perfect way to wash the dishes? There is now. Kunikida is here

On the other hand you can kiss your hopes of getting out of your own chores goodbye. This man makes a schedule. a chore chart. a system. he pulls out the whole nine yards

Thanks a lot DAZAI

Anyway, he has his merits. Kunikida brings it upon himself to bring up the slack (even if he doesn't want to) because he can't stand living in a messy space, so your home is always spick and span

He organises weekly or monthly meetings to discuss home affairs (he's a real Louis Moriarty, he will also make you omelettes)

Kunikida is also kind of a walking talking alarm clock- he wakes you up in the morning if you're not up by a certain time, and also gives you a lights out time at night when he deems it bedtime

He pretends that this is just a part of routine and etiquette and whatever- in reality, he just really cares about your health and wants you to get enough sleep and keep a consistent routine

He also encourages you to go out if you're an introvert because "staying inside all the time is bad for you". Damnit Kunikida

Yosano:

Oh she's so great to live with

Every time you run into her you two always end up bitching to each other about something. She's the ultimate bitch buddy

If you get sick she takes on the role of home doctor, quarantines you in your room, and tends to you until you're well again. Or, if she doesn't like you, she just chops you up and gets it over with lmao

Yosano drinks a lot though. You eventually get used to falling asleep to the sounds of crashing, whirring chainsaws and maniacal laughter from the next room over

She takes AGES in the bathroom, so you really ought to keep a bucket on hand or something just in case. Like this woman will be in there for hours on end (RIP your water bill)

She also always takes up the phone line because she's a lil social butterfly (RIP your phone bill) but she'll also take your phone calls for you if you don't like talking on the phone so there's that

Yosano is really sweet but she always leaves her stuff laying around. Like there'll just be patient portfolios and medical tools in the living room?? Girl

Some nights she comes home with a bigass pizza in her hand and a bottle of wine in the other, and you know you're in for a GOOD time

If you ever need some spare cash she'll give it to you but if you take too long to pay her back she WILL chop you up so beware

Tanizaki:

He's a perfectly adequate roommate.

In all honesty there's barely anything to say about Tanizaki. He does his chores, respects his roommates, helps them if they need help, etc etc. He's just a real stand up guy!

Though I HC that Tanizaki gets sick pretty easily, so he can sometimes be seen wandering the house with a pale face wrapped in a blanket making sad boy noises

He gives you lifts as long as you're able to provide gas money (or McDonalds, either works as payment)

He doesn't usually accept invitations to go out drinking, but he's more than happy to grab a coffee with you if time permits it. He's just a responsible guy 😌 (if you don't have time he'll also bring you a coffee because he's just that nice)

Tanizaki always has backup stuff in case you guys run out of anything. This man basically has a bunker's worth of extra supplies for literally no reason, but hey free stuff!

He likes to make dinner for you sometimes, and you guys eat together and chat (it's something he grew used to while living with Naomi)

He's always happy to lend you his stuff if you ever run out of things (because of Naomi he even keeps backup menstrual stuff on hand, so you vagina owners are all safe)

You guys definitely do face masks and manicures together too

Naomi:

Naomi might, literally, be the roommate ever

She does her chores, she keeps quiet at night, she lets you know if she's bringing people over. Her only flaw is that she's always talking about her brother. Naomi please

She's also very vocal whenever her brother's in the house. What are they doing ffs

She bakes cupcakes and cookies and stuff each week for her roommates

She also brings around her friends sometimes for movie nights, and if you come into the living room she invites you to watch movies with her and her friends

Naomi honestly invites you to everything. Parties, gatherings, hanging out with friends- she's a true extrovert and will adopt you if you're an introvert, you have no choice sry :/

She also decorates the place really well- in all honesty she really did miss her calling as an interior designer because miss girl makes your home look CLASS

Naomi is the roommate you go to when you're preparing for a date and you need help with your outfit or nerves. She's like the ultimate wingwoman fr

She also buys incense and air freshener so your house smells nice as FUCK

Ranpo:

He's almost as bad as Dazai, aside from the fact that he can respect rules, and so (although begrudgingly and with a lot of whining) he actually does his chores

If you all live together he steals all of the candy Atsushi left out for everyone :(

Basically lives in his pyjamas. He gets home from work and immediately gets changed into his jammies

He also hogs the TV and won't let you watch Netflix until his own shows are finished :( and he also judges you for your taste in TV regardless of what it is

Ranpo never cooks for himself or you, but he LOVES when you cook for him. It makes him feel so special

You guys also get takeout all the time. You make a tradition of it and get different stuff on different days. It becomes a part of the autism routine and now you're stuck wasting your money (haha)

You also have to take him places and accompany him everywhere because he knows fuck all about taking the train. You basically live life around Ranpo's (annoying spontaneous) schedule

He uses too much soap in the shower and gets bubbles all over the bathroom, but at least he smells nice?

He does all the house paperwork, so silver lining and all

Fukuzawa:

He's lowkey kind of scary 😔

Like, he's a really respectful roommate who does his chores and pays mind to his living companions, but he also just like barely comes out of his room or talks to anyone.

Plus, detective daddy kinda has a massive case of RBF which really isn't helping

That being said, he will make tea for you if you feel blue, and he'll sit in your room and silently listen to you complain about your issues for hours. The PATIENCE of this man

He randomly does really sweet stuff for you without saying a word about it. Replaces broken stuff, makes you pancakes in the morning etc.

Fukuzawa tends to work late hours so he's often awake late in the night. He enjoys when you keep him company on your sleepless nights, and will give you a blanket if you end up falling asleep in his bed or on the couch

He's also super neat and never touches your stuff without asking <3

He knocks on your bedroom door and the bathroom door every single time, just in case, and he never enters unless you give him the heads up

His own door is never locked in case you need him too. Or in case there's a break-in. Good luck to that person fr

taglist~ ♡ @gettinshiggywithit, @fyodorhatr, @flower-of-darkness, @bejeweledgirl, @kokoenjiandco, @pinkiipeachiikeen, @call-me-albie, @sayyestoheaven00

[wannaeatramyeon]

Seong Taehoon x Reader: Yi Suryeon Part 2

@simpfully-heartbroken @trxmoon @hfi99 👇

Part 1 here. You have a new friend.

"Who's that?"

Taehoon isn't one to usually ask, leaving you to your own devices and himself initially occupied with whatever is going on with the film today.

But when you, his girlfriend, promised to watch this with him after spending all your free time with Suryeon, was instead glued to your phone for the last hour. Well, it rightly ticked him off. The vein on his temple bulged with each ping.

"Just Suryeon."

His eyes flicker over to the phone screen at your response, nose wrinkling at some stupid memes between the two of you. Ugh.

Giggling to yourself and ignorant of his irritation, you lean over to show the latest messages, "Suryeon just texted me-"

"Suryeon this. Suryeon that." Taehoon snaps, cutting you off and eyes glued resolutely to the TV, "Can't you talk about anything else."

"Huh?"

"You're boring me."

In his periphery, he doesn't miss your hurt at his biting words. He absolutely refuses to feel guilty. Maybe that would teach you to ignore him all night.

"Isnt this what you wanted?"

Taehoon doesn't respond. He told you to be friendly, to be nice. How the hell should he know you two would get on like a house on fire, and he, the actual boyfriend which you could do well to remember, would be feeling like a third wheel.

And that's another thing that really pisses him off. He's barely seen you all week. He hasn't seen your face during Taekwondo practice, he hasn't gamed with you at the arcade, he hasn't hung out with you at all. Turns out, you've been with Suryeon.

"What you hanging out with her all the time for?"

"But-"

"Shouldn't you be studying or something."

You tilt your head, trying to process this weird thread, this animosity, "Since when did you care if I studied?"

"..."

It clicks into place.

"Taehoon?"

"..."

"Are you jealous?"

"Shut up."

"My baby Taehoon, are you jealous I'm hanging out with Suryeon all the time?"

"..."

You tap your chin in thought, thinking about your new friend, "Yeah, I guess she is pretty cool and she's funny,"

"..."

"And actually she's really hot too."

"What."

"Mmf, mommy-"

"Do you want to die?" Now Taehoon looks over and is met with your shit-eating grin. Temper flaring that his first thought is you look fucking adorable even when you're obviously winding him up.

God. Jealous Taehoon isn't a normal sight. You didn't even think he was capable of such an emotion. Maybe there's something wrong with you that you find all this so endearing.

Determined to wipe the scowl on his face, you pepper kisses on his cheeks. With each one, the tension in his body and on his face lessens. He hates the grip you have on him.

"Let me make up to you?"

Ah, turns out that is your fatal mistake of the night.

"You will."

In the blink of eye, you find yourself flipped on your back, pinned beneath your absolute menace of a boyfriend.

Film long forgotten, scowl on his face replaced by hunger and that oh so arrogant smirk of his.

Taehoon is going to make you pay.

[sevencolorsatlast]

Reverse Isekai SAGAU - Your Favorite Character Misses You (Part 1)

Part 1 (You're Here!) || Part 2

Edit 1: Added more headcanons! I've missed some details I had on mind ;w;

This wholesome idea came up out of nowhere after reading a bunch of Imposter SAGAU reverse isekais whereas a bunch of characters yeet themselves into the Creator's/Player's world to apologize for killing them at the first place.

What if, by chance, they ended up in your world while you were away for a very long time? Not really you being an Imposter or anything; it’s like the game telling you “Remember your favorite character you often play as? They actually miss you a lot. I’m gonna send them to you pronto!” then they just appear out of nowhere and scare the living shit out of you as they land in your house.

Other Notes: Default SAGAU / GN!Reader / Headcanon / +400 Words

Due to the sudden teleportation, they usually have items on their hands (an open book, a pen, a musical instrument or even their weapon) or look like they are going to who-knows-where, frozen in mid-walk/mid-run. 

It’ll take them a while to get them accustomed to the modern world. Now, there will be a lot of room for creativity here!

Examples: they call you "Your Grace/Your Excellency, etc." and you keep correcting them to call you by your name because you know people will give you weird looks if you and your fave are in public; teaching them what an internet meme is; they can practically borrow your/your old relatives' clothes (if it fits them) or outright steals from someone else if they are cunning enough that can get you into trouble; asking what are the names moving vehicles and you can (1) tell them what they are called (2) troll them by calling it something ridiculous and they repeat after you with a puzzled look on their faces. Be creative! :D

(forgot to add this detail oops) Depending on how high your friendship level is with your fave. If it's between Level 1-5, they are powerless as heck but will help you whenever they can.

But if you have Level 6-10 Friendship, they can summon their weapon out of thin air to protect you even if they don't have their Vision powers with them.

Poor Catalysts users. Depending on who they are: throw their weapon at someone's face as distraction / use their martial prowess (aka beating the living daylights out of a person) / use their galaxy brain intelligence to get you both out of trouble / grab your hand to run as far away as possible to get you to safety.

However, their stats/artifacts are still on effect so imagine your fave getting into a fight and won the 50-50 Crit Rate/DMG with their hit / whatever weapon they are using.

When you finally open the game, you see an empty space in your roster/character menu but displays their name and everything like before - their artifacts you gave them, same weapons and talent levels too. 

For them to get back, this is silly but very wholesome - you need to make their favorite/specialty dishes and they eat it. Simple, right? Probably yes for some characters, probably no with most… as you tried to rack your brains on how to even properly cook, replicate the look/design, AND how it tastes.

Wait, have you ever tasted similar dishes to theirs beforehand? And what if you have allergies to a certain ingredient? They will/can help you but where on earth would you find that one ingredient exclusive to a certain store? 

Also, good luck not setting your kitchen on fire because I assume all of them haven’t seen a modern kitchen before.

Once you miraculously successfully replicated their dish in real life, they can go back to their world and you can play as them in the game as usual. They can basically go back and forth by making their specialty dish and offering it to your shrine whenever they want to see you again.

[blackjackkent]

58 for that kissing meme with whatever BG pair of your choosing bc I'm interested to see where you go with it

(Kiss prompts)

58. Moving Around While Kissing, Stumbling Over Things, Pushing Each Other Back Against The Wall/Onto The Bed

-----

I am resplendent.

For a hundred years I have been caged. My skin bears the golden marks of a thousand shatterings; I have broken as pottery breaks, and felt my pieces dragged back together, again and again, inexorable as tide beneath moonlight.

And with each reforging, I forged also another link in the great chain of grief as I remembered, yet again, that you were lost to me, my darling, my Isobel…

Surely I dream, now, to see you standing before me in the ruins of your father’s bastion, to know the brute is dead and you, long lost, draw breath in his stead. Surely I dream to feel my own wings at my back, the glow of my mother’s moonlight in my soul. I crave a thousand reassurances, a touch stolen between each word as we speak to the others, to prove that you live. 

That I live, and am free.

The one who pulled me from the darkness is a gentle one - like you. A monk of my mother’s faith, careful with each word he speaks. He understands, I think, when I can no longer turn my mind to any conversation.

Now, I tell him, you will leave us. We must take succor in one another’s bodies and words.

You laugh. It is like music, like bells. Aylin! you say - a chastisement that is a melody of silver and gossamer. Think me uncourteous if you will; I would brave even your displeasure, that you might again call my name…

The monk withdraws. The room is empty. Voices drift from beyond the door, but I have no care of them. You look up at me, and your lips part - not to speak, this time, but in a silent supplication. And I take you for my own.

You taste sweet, like the milk and honey of the rituals you have performed in my mother’s name. My lips capture yours and you mold yourself like water against me. It is easy as it ever was to find the places where you fit into me. I lift you into my arms and feel you lighter than you were, wasted with the grief and torment of resurrection, but this too matters not. For Dame Aylin holds you again, and she will see no further harm comes to you so long as she lives. And she will live forever. 

The room is still scattered with the detritus of battle. In my haste, I strike my boot on a fallen helmet, a broken sword. An overturned chair blocks my path; I let the moonlight rise around me and shatter it apart rather than slow my pace. Let it all burn, in truth; what good to leave any of this place intact? It has been the house of evil, and we will cleanse it with divine fire, with the purity of my love for you.

Your back strikes a pillar and you cry out - not with pain but with joy. My mouth swallows the sound and answers it back again in echo. Your legs wrap about my waist, that I might stand closer, and closer yet; there is a chill in you, my darling, my mate most high, and I will warm you though the cold be in your very heart.

Do not fear, my Isobel. We have bought the joy of the future out of our own bodies; the price is paid, and I will not be kept from the bliss we have purchased with such torment. Kiss me. Kiss me forever, and forever I shall be at your side.

[scumbagjaeger]

I LOVED UR GAMER SNK MEN HCS!! what about reader as a gamer 👀??

SNK MEN WITH GAMER!READER

starring: Eren, Jean, Armin, Connie, Porco, Reiner, Levi, Zeke

rating: mostly sfw! 18+

notes: Thanks so much for the request!! My first ask (‘: I added some of the other men because even though they might not understand video games, they can still support their partner hahah. Is there anyone else you guys would want to see included in these headcanons? Erwin? Bertholdt? Should I do some with the ladies? Let me know! Thanks for your continued support(:

EREN:

If you’re on the same team he’s supporting you 100%, doing whatever he can to help you out if you’re getting targeted or something

If you get killed? He’s going after the fucker who took you out at least ten times (or until you tell him it’s okay you’ve respawned!! He can chill!!)

But if you’re playing against him? Good luck because he’s going to target you hahah

He thinks it’s cute how whiny you get when he snipes you or gets you with his ultimate

“Sorry, (y/n), you gotta be better than that”

This man is so cocky oh lord

Secretly, when you get him back he gets so flustered? But you can’t tell because he just scoffs and tells you that he let you get him

Man’s is sportin a boner through under his desk lmao!! It’s hot seeing you take control what can I say

He invites you to the discord but then immediately regrets it because Jean will constantly try and talk about you

Jean is a homie! But he thinks you’re cool and it pisses Eren off whenever he asks you to check your dms so it’s a win-win (he just sends you memes lol)

Eren’s friends are all chill with you playing but he still likes to remind them that you’re dating

“Eren did you fucking set my house on fire” “that’s what you get for giving (y/n) a flower dumbass” “bro they needed it to make DYE you idiot”

You guys have a minecraft house together and it’s super cute! Eren will definitely let you decorate while he collects materials for you. Or you both will go on adventures together(:

If you’re playing alone he’s super supportive too! Totally down with you having time with your friends online

In between his matches with the boys he’ll come up behind you and kiss your head, not wanting to interrupt too much

But sometimes he’ll fully move your headset off of one ear and start backseat gaming

“You should use your ultimate after your teammate uses theirs. Theirs will freeze the enemy and then your pure damage will take them out… okay good now go over here and—“

After your matches he’s super affectionate ahhh

Wraps his arms around you from behind and plants a big ol’ kiss on your cheek

“M’girl did so good!!”

JEAN:

He’d be a touch cringey lmao

Insists on you both having his-and-hers desk-mats. Gives you a custom mousepad with a picture of you both on it for your birthday and the image turns out kind of wonky

He’s be heartbroken if you don’t use it though!! So you better

One day you come home and he’s rearranged half the apartment so you can have a gaming room together with your desks facing each other

But this ends terribly bc he can be too loud sometimes and he gets distracted by you

Invites you to the discord and then asks you privately if you can coordinate your nicknames online to be like “his (y/n)” and “her Jean” AA

The others never stop giving him shit for it

But he loves you! And he’s so glad you have this hobby in common

Might get a little salty about you playing with your friends without him

If you have a full team that’s fine!! But if he finds out you have a random on your team…

“Why didn’t you ask me to join?” “Babe you were in the middle of your own match!!” “So? I could have quit and joined >:(“

Probably super friendly with your friends and playgroup! Will happily hop on and play with y’all and he behaves himself

Not oblivious to the fact that some of your friends might think he’s cute/flirt with him a little bit?? But he’s confused because he has you so why are they talking to him like that

Doesn’t confront them but shuts them down respectfully(:

“No I can’t give you flowers because these ones are for (y/n) I’m surprising her with them because I love her!! I’m sure you can find your own though(:”

If you’re playing DOTA or League together he’s still garbage :( sorry hahah

Gets flustered by playing with you and then fucks up more

“Babe, can you come help me? The guys keep ganging up on me”

But he is SO PROUD OF HIMSELF whenever he can help you out!!

“Don’t worry, princess, I’ve got your back” “Dude you died four times just trying to get to (y/n)” “Shut the fuck up, Connie”

While you’re gaming you’ll reach for your drink and see it’s miraculously filled up? And there’s a little piece of your favorite candy next to it? You turn around and just see Jean sneaking back over to his desk oh lord

ARMIN:

surprise surprise, he is a total sweetheart

You two probably play a lot together just the two of you before he invites you the join their discord?

He just thinks there’s something really intimate about you both playing games together, without others

And you still definitely do that!! Armin would be the type of guy who would invite you to play games with him hahah

“Hey, (y/n)? I was wondering if you’d want to maybe play Civ 6 with me tomorrow night? Maybe we can make dinner together beforehand!”

He is the best player 2 when you guys play games, especially story games!

But similar to Eren, if you guys are on opposite teams he will show no mercy :)

“Sorry! I can’t help it” “Armin you literally CAN you’re looking for me to kill me” “oops! I’ll go easy on you, my bad!”

He never goes easy on you

He’s the best player out of his friends but he probably isn’t on every night like Eren and Connie are hahah. The nights he is on though he’s on all night!

If you stay up with him, expect super lazy mornings where you slip out of bed past noon and make pancakes together

Expect super lazy afternoon-sex where he just kind of lies on top of you LMAO, gently holds you and cradles you underneath him as he buries his face into your neck, you’re both so tired from a night of gaming but he loves getting to spend that time with you

If he’s reading or doing homework and you’re gaming, he leaves you be!

He thinks it’s important to have privacy and alone time (and he’s right)

But he’ll also come up to you after your game ends, put his hands on your shoulders and ask how your match went!

If you ask him to coach you during a match he’s actually super supportive and helpful? Unlike if you’re playing a co-op game with him hahah

He also probably likes getting to train you and teach you! He wants you to be the best(:

If he’s feeling particularly clingy he’ll just move a chair to sit next you your gaming desk and read next to you lmao

Not even talking or distracting you! He just finds the keyboard clicks and your voice calming

Okay I want to make random college headcanons for the boys should I ever write a fic, and Armin would also make models?? I’m thinking warhammer or DnD ones (DnD with the squad headcanons? 👀) imagine him with a headlamp and big ol’ glasses so he can get a detailed paint job!

And he’d custom make a model of your main in their costume and surprise you with it on your anniversary! It takes him weeks to make :')

CONNIE:

omg he’d be an ass

You know those memes about the pick me characters? He’d jokingly accuse you of that

“Idk do you really know how to play COD? Or are you just trying to hang with the bros” “Connie I literally kicked your ass last night what do you mean” “Fair point”

Probably just teases you a lot during the games in general

“Babe if you press Q while holding your diamond pickaxe it’ll make you mine obsidian faster” “Wait (y/n) don’t that’ll throw your pickaxe into the la—"

Seconds later: *conniespringaa tried to swim in lava*

In a match those he’s actually the most supportive I’d argue? He totally lets you do your thing, whereas Armin and Eren might still have you try and follow their lead

“Where you goin’, mama? Damn atta girl! I’ve gotcha, don’t worry (y/n)” literally just follows you around the map to be backup and to hype you up!

In my last set of hcs Connie was a streamer! If you also streamed he’d be obsessed with doing those fun collabs with you

Either that or he’d be like “ew guys this weirdo is trying to join my discord call rn lemme see what she wants— hello? Do I know you? Always happy to meet a fan but how did you get my discord?”

Idk why he thinks pretending he doesn’t know you is the funniest thing ever?? You guys start a new match with his friends and suddenly he spends the whole game chirping at you

“Damn mama where have you been all my life? You got a man? Why don’t you let me get your number, I bet you look fine as hell in real life” “Connie if you don’t shut the fuck up right now I’m going to lose it”—Eren

He’s so much fun to play story games with though! I’m thinking Detroit: Become Human

He’ll sit next to you and let you control things and he’ll do voices for the characters (he’ll even turn down the game voices so he can impersonate the characters instead)

Makes Connor and the other androids it sound like literal robots, add in extra comments, etc

Honestly I think Connie would be the best at voices? He does super great impressions of his friends and will share them a lot on discord while you’re all playing minecraft, to their dismay :)

Sometimes if he isn’t playing with you he’ll just send you a DM asking you to stream so he can watch? So cute

Too embarrassed to ask you in person but you just got used to streaming on discord now so he can hop on and watch from his computer

PORCO:

I feel like he’s pretty independent when it comes to gaming ngl so when he finds out you are a gamer he just kind of like “oh word? Cool”

Since he plays a lot of games like FIFA and GTA, he usually plays those while you do your thing

Idk why but I also feel like he would be the type of guy to have a spotless apartment? Takes pride in his cleanliness so he’s usually cleaning the apartment while you game

Which is okay with him! He likes hearing you talk to your friends

To him, gaming is kind of his thing to do when he wants to be alone? Even when he’s playing with other people it’s kind of like his private time

So when you’re playing with your friends he lets you have space!

He and Jean are probably the two gamers who would want to spend more time with you outside of the apartment doing things anyway!

But if you want to play with him he’s totally down!

He’s a pretty casual gamer but you can still expect him to get heated, especially if he thinks someone is targeting you or cheating

“No, Porco it’s okay! I made a bad play that’s all” “no (y/n) there’s no way he could have hit you from there, something’s going on”

He will make dinner while you’re gaming and surprise you with it after your match! Even though you can smell it from your desk lmao

“C‘mon, dummy, it’s getting cold,” he’ll call out and gestures to the chair he’s holding out for you

He scoots you in once you’ve sat and he asks you about how your matches are going

If you lost he’ll slide your dessert away from you and then say “sorry, winners only” 😐😐

He’s still not the most active when it comes to their DOTA or League games, but he invites you in to play with his friends so it’s okay!

Eventually he starts to insists on you being in their discord call while they’re playing just so that he can talk to you while you’re playing your own solo game or something!

Don’t get me wrong he still likes his private gaming time and thinks you deserve your own gaming time! But he quickly warms up to the idea of you being together and sharing that time together

REINER:

Okay I love Reiner to pieces yeah? But this man does not understand video games before he meets you

He just doesn’t understand the point??

“Why not just go outside and do something, love?”

He’ll comfort you if you get emotional playing a game like the Last of Us, but then he’ll ruin it by saying “I mean, they’re all dead when you think about it, yeah? They've never actually been alive! They’re not real, sweetie”

But he’s trying to comfort you I promise

I think if there was a game you could get him to play it would be a Dark Souls/Elden Ring type game! I think the dramatic music and fight scenes would pique his interest as he walks past your desk

After watching you fight Malenia or something he says he’ll give it a try

And then he loses to the Tree Sentinel and you have to comfort him. “Babe, that’s kind of the point, you have to go and level up first!” He thought he could impress you oh lord

Otherwise he’d love to watch you play Stardew Valley! Loves the characters and thinks that the heart events are super special

You might be able to convince him to start his own game of Stardew Valley, but he’s busy a lot and feels guilty about ‘abandoning them’, so he prefers to watch you play!

Will also cook you dinner and make sure your water is full while you play! He likes to watch you play and loves seeing you all happy when you’re winning

Sometimes he will try and hug you while you’re playing because he loves seeing you do something you love, but then you have to remind him that you’re in the middle of a game!

“So how was your game!” “It was good! Eren always plays aggro so he took most of the attention away from me!” “There’s a character named Eren in your game? Huh,” it takes him a second to understand that you’re playing with REAL PEOPLE

LEVI:

Just like Reiner (honestly all of these men who don’t understand video games) he doesn’t see the point? Like why not go outside and do something?

Kind of rolls his eyes at the games you play despite him not knowing about them

But he secretly takes pride in the fact that you’re sometimes the one taking control and bossing the others around

He’ll hear you tell Eren to shut up so you can focus and he’ll sneak behind you and peer over your head, maybe smooth out your hair a bit to let you know he’s there

You can talk to him about your games and he’ll listen but he’ll definitely not understand any of it

He’ll respond with a lot of “Ah”s and “Oh, I see” and “..is that good or bad?”

Silently brings you tea when you’re playing late and will usually stay up reading on the couch while you do! He’s a classy guy, likes to go to bed with you

Sometimes he’ll fall asleep on the couch so you have to wake him up :(

He just kind of shuffles over and wordlessly invites you to sleep with him there, cradled in his arms on the couch

I don’t think there’s any way you could get him to play a video game though, sorry

This is Levi Ackerman, who doesn’t understand how twitter works hahah

If you get upset over a loss he doesn’t really know how to comfort you, but he’ll kind of sneak over and mutter something like “that kid’s a bastard anyway” and kiss your head

ZEKE:

Will straight up tell you to go outside and touch grass if he thinks you’ve been inside too long

He’ll pick you up from your desk and try and carry him out to go on a walk with him or something after a match lmao!

Will ask you what is so exciting about your games and why you’d rather do that than do something with him :( poor Zeke

But he just says those kinds of things to get a rise from you lmaoo! He’s glad you have some hobby because it lets him also have private time, like Porco I think Zeke would like some space to do his own thing every now and then

Or maybe he’s just busy and glad you can keep yourself busy? I headcanon him to be going into a medical field like his dad! So Dr. Jaeger knows that you won’t be too lonely while he’s at work

You can get him to play surgeon simulator when he’s in a good mood. He thinks it’ll be easy. Ooh boy

He doesn’t become addicted or anything but when he fails, he insists that he can do it and he’s trying again. And again. And again.

Genuinely likes seeing you have a hobby and is impressed with your ability to balance your responsibilities and have time to unwind with a game

Likes to see you kill Eren in whatever game you’re playing, even minecraft hahah

Judges you for playing animal crossing though? Sorry he thinks it’s a kids game?

“…So you owe the raccoon money, huh?” 😐

You tell him he’d be a grumpy villager and he ruffles your hair before walking away with a huff hahah

Thanks again for the ask and your support! Ngl my ex boyfriend was a shitty gamer like he would ignore me a lot so this is my therapy now, imagining better gamer boyfriend scenarios for my attack on titan men :) hahah but thanks again for reaching out I hope I did it justice!

As always, thanks for reading! Feel free to drop an ask for more!

[kryslovescapricorns]

+ krys’ astrological observations +

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>> Libra Risings with Aries Moon, this combination can create such a push and pull between opinionated fiery aries moon and the libra rising that genuinely feel horrible later on. It’s like they’re the criminal and the judge.

>> Cancers have influencer energy! Being moon ruled we know the moon affects tides and back in the day they used the moon to mark harvesting seasons, the beginning of the agriculture revolution. People may be likely to look to you for advice. Almost like you always know the “right” timing. In this way you have a lot of “influence” on the people around you.

>> Capricorns are trendsetters. I don’t make the rules Saturn changes signs every 3 years and whatever that sign is the general “trend” of the next 3 years. Saturn was in Aquarius, social distancing. Saturn in pisces (now) real movies are back y’all !!

>> Leos can be extremely humble in the way they communicate, always giving people the space and time to respond and also reassuring people that they understand. You validate others just through communicating with them and showing them you care and take them sincerely.

>> Gemini & Virgo are both ruled by Mercury but these people can also easily clash. They form a square because they are both mutable signs. Gemini is Virgo without self expectations. So when they meet, virgo considers everything then makes a choice and gemini does whatever tf comes to mind and sees what sticks. In this way gemini can be EXTREMELY annoying and stressful to virgo.

>> Pisces Moons have a tendency to forget they exist, forgetting to respond to messages, missing appointments, not eating. All of these things are because they truly FORGET that they are a human being living out an experience that affects others.

>> As lucky as Sagittarius’ are they have the curse of people not relating to them because they see them as mythical or “godly” in a way. This can be very unfair especially when groups of people turn on you in favour of a perceived “underdog”. People tend to hate sagittarius’ with a burning passion of a thousand suns, not because they did anything that wrong but because of who they are and the blessings they amass.

>> This is why Sagittarius’ with Cancer placements are lethal, the luck and charm but with the added *cute bebe* energy of Cancer. You can’t stay mad at them for long. No wonder Jupiter is Exhaled in Cancer.

>> A Scorpio+Gemini combination is genuinely frightening. These people are fire starters !!! Meaning they’ll say something or start something just to enjoy the chaos it ensues. Like that one meme of the little girl smiling with a burning house except it’s her own house she set on fire, on a whim.

>> Aquarius like “bad” attention. Meaning they enjoy when people don’t like what they wear or judge them for their opinions. To them it’s a sign they’re on the right path. Always pushing the envelope.

>> Aries + Libra Friendships or relationships are TOP tier. I’m a triple Libra and every time I meet an Aries placement we just get into a comfortable flow instantly, like I lay my head on their shoulder, they lean against me, we hold hands casually. In friendships it feels like a sibling you’ve just met. In relationships it feels like starting a relationship from the middle. Just NATURAL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey All!! Let me know your thoughts in the comments this is my first Astro Observations. I’ve had this account created for a while, i’ve been planning/researching a series where I go through every mercury sign through all the houses. I’ll be using house rulerships to add more dimension.

First will be Aries Mercury through the houses!

Stay tuned babes,

🌷krys🌷

[sleepyhead-poll]

BONUS! MOD'S CHOICE POLL!

Mod's Propaganda Under the Cut:

Judai:

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a Yu-Gi-Oh fan. For whatever reason, this series imprinted on me when I was a child and I just never let it go. I've watched the original series, season 0, GX, 5Ds, and Arc V, as well as read the original manga, the GX manga, and the Arc V manga, as well as watched all the movies. The point is: I like Yu-Gi-Oh. There are people who like it more than me, that have watched all the series and what not, but I think I still like it an absurd amount. And out of all the protagonists I know, Judai is my favorite. He's just so lovable, you can't help but like him! He's goofy, he's reliable, he's fun, he has a descent into madness, he's gay, what more could you want in a shounen protagonist? Though being sleepy isn't a major part of him, it's more of a gag of him slacking in class and always going to sleep, it's still super funny and I'm a little sad that he lost in Round 1, though I do like Sonic as well (who he lost to). Give the Slifer Slacker a chance!

Linhardt:

Considering Linhardt is my profile picture at the moment, I don't think I need to justify this too much. But I will anyway. Linhardt is the sleepy crest scholar. Although I will be the first to admit that I am not actually a Fire Emblem fan (and tbh I find the writing in Three Houses kind of bad) (sorry to those who enjoy it) I love Linhardt so much anyway. He's probably my favorite in that very large cost. I love that he's so unapologetically sleepy, like he doesn't care if you scold him to do work, he will do work on his own time. Not only that, but he's actually really smart and dedicated when he wants to be. Linny's friendship with Caspar is really nice, especially since I think someone needs to save Caspar from his awful dad & self-destructive tendencies. Plus, I really like his supports. Especially with Marianne, Hubert, and Edelgard. His supports with Dorothea in Three Hopes is also really nice.

Garfield:

It's Garfield. He's a classic comic. He's a classic meme. Little orange kitty. What more could you possibly want? I love Snoopy, but to be perfectly honest I think Garfield should have gotten as far as Snoopy.

Sleepytime Tea Bear:

Again. He's just a classic. What more would you want but a sleepy bear in pajamas on a chair?

Olruggio:

I'm a big Witch Hat Atelier fan and I love Olruggio. Like yes, I like Orufrey like everyone else, but I also just like Olruggio on his own. I like his scruffy little look and I love the fact that at first he is so intimating but almost immediately he's revealed to be a big softie. I love his light magic motif and I really think it's sweet that he made the thing to keep you warm when you sleep and gave it to the kids-- he's a FATHER. This man needs a nap fr though. Man I need to catch up with this manga.

Osaka:

IT'S OSAKA. Like!!! I don't even know how many clips and comics from Azumanga Daioh make the rounds around Tumblr, but specifically the ones about Osaka are amazing!!! She has the most autistic anime girl swag I love her so much. She's so sweet and earnest and silly... I always lose my mind at "OH MAH GOD!" and she has so many other classics. Like when she makes the Osaka stamp with her eraser or when she struggles to cross the street because she keeps zoning out when the light gets green or when she's distressed about Americans wearing shoes inside... I love her. And to her sleepyheadness, she's always falling asleep in class and whenever she's studying she just starts falling asleep. She's just like me fr...

Takane:

Back in the day I really liked Kagerou Project and so as tribute to my old obsession from middle/high school I have to give a spot to Takane. My favorite part of the series was when we saw flashbacks to the Yuukei quartet and Headphone Actor is still a bop.

Tanaka:

THE REASON WHY I STARTED THIS TOURNAMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE??? Last December during finals I decided to read something light and fun while working and I chose Tanaka-kun is Always Listless because I remember the title from a few years ago when the anime came out and like I loved it SOOOOOO much. He's the ultimate sleepyboy and he's just so funny and relatable. He needs to be carried around by his best friend Ohta and his ultimate goal in life is to minimize as much effort as possible and he's always nodding off and he dislikes being a main character, instead wishing he was a background character... my favorite guy for real.

[saturnbellfromhell]

THE ENERGY OF THE SUN

One of the first posts on my Tumblr was about the Moon and all her feminine glory. How she is bold, yet mysterious, cunny, yet delicate, powerful yet soft. In today's post we speak of the the star of the show, literally. Our beloved Sun which shins brightly threw our windows kissing the Moon goodbye. For another day is to appear on the horizon, for that it brings serotonin into our body and bliss into our hearts. The Sun has been talked about, written about, sang about and worshipped for as long as life has existed on our planet. It is the masculine to the Moons feminine with whom he has created a small family consisting of a son Mars, the planet of action, a daughter Venus, the planet of beauty and a androgynous child Mercury, planet of communication. Together with their energies they rule all that is seen. The primary family of our solar system and where raw energy is bred. This star flows in the middle of our  system, where it shins every millimeter, not leaving anything hidden. For it's master it has chosen Leo. A fiery and noble fixed sign which represents the king of all creatures. Leo's are in the middle of our favorite season, Summer. Where the Sun has impregnated our crops and bears fresh food to our table. When the hottest months appear, so does a infant Leo. Being the master of such a powerful and complex star, Leo's have a lot on their hands.

~Leo's are in the center of all, unironically they are mostly hated for such behavior. But in reality they literally cannot help it. It's what comes natural to these people. When the Sun shines on you, you have very little to hide. Every accomplishment is met with large praise, but every downfall is met by huge dissaprovement and judgment. So Leo's have to form a larger ego than others to survive such things out in the world. In their home life they love their family and partner to the core. Being loyal to the grave for them and not letting anyone lay a finger on them. They are the leaders of the pack, the grandiose caregivers of their own family. What they crave is affection and attention, but they also want this for all their loved one's. Even if a courageous Leo becomes a star, he is more than willing to put his loved one in the spot light. Remember that meme of Will Smith showing off Jada Pinket Smith on the red carpet, yep that's what a Leo would do (which is funny, because Will Smith is a Leo rising).

~Other than a Leo's love and loyalty, they are such prideful people. Rarely will you hear a Leo dirty talk themselves. They are also known to be overachievers, ambitious and throughout. These individuals are the emotional one in the fire sign group. They long for freedom and change, love and devotion, praise and respect.

~The bad caracteristic of a Leo comes from being a fixed sign by itself. Fixed signs are known to be very stubborn and fixed, literally, on their beliefs and ideas. It's quite hard getting a Leo to change it's routine, try something new or have it any other way they imagined it. Leo's are the one who want control over their life and decisions, so don't bother changing it. They will treat you like a God or Godess, but be sure to not act like you are better than them. They can also have a longer tongue than what it needs to be, even moreso if Mercury is in a fire sign, the Leo will never hold back his words. By doing so, Leo will have to learn to bend their back sometimes, bringing more harmony into their life.

~A Leo's house is eccentric and loud, just like them. They adore random pictures, figurines and small touches of pazaz. If living with a Leo be sure to let go and let them do their thing, I mean they do have good taste at the end of the day. The metal gold is what catches their eyes, they also adore shiny anything and diamonds. Their style is everso changing, whatever they wear the most important accessory is their confidence. With main-like hair and a wild look in their eyes they take the world by storm.

~If not sure somebody is a Leo, do not worry, for they will tell you themselves. The chatty Leo is sure to tell you all about their hobbies, achievements and goals and be sure they will go to great strengths to better all of them. People find it hard to follow up and true Leo and by doing so become bitter towards them a lot of the time. But what they don't acknowledge is that Leo's would be over the moon exited to grab someone and put them under their wing.

~Even though a Sun is meant for and it is it domicile, in detriment it falls on a weird Aquarius. Aquarians are not meant for the spotlight for they are the ruler of others, the humanitarian of the group. It is all about other and not about themselves for this a wise lesson to be learned from a Leo and also a wise lesson to be taught to a Leo. Exaltation lands it's place to a baby Aries which has much to learn but feels at peace by holding the crown. A fun way to look at exaltations if you are not familiar is looking at it like making a feist. The Leo gets everything done, the collecting, planning, organizing, preparing and cooking, but the Aries just shows up and enjoyes the feist making everyone welcome and happy. The energy of the Sun is primal and welcoming, playful and flavourful, exiting and concious, strong and delightful, but not for anybody!

~Where the Sun resigns is in the 5th house, the house of complite hedonism, creation and joy. It's the house where romance lives and where all passion and love accurs. It defins our adoration for children and where our inner child finds it's playground. This house is all about the fun and amusing aspects of life governing games and hobbies, sex and creative acts, self expression and relationships. Even though the 7th house is called the house of partnerships, this house is how things flow in a relationships. How sex and sexuality is embedded in the individual. The 7th house moreso has to do with the functions in a relationship afterwards, like a marriage. The 5th house also represents the enjoyment before the purge and structure in the 6th house. So you can look at the 5th house as maturing into a relationship, the 6th house as self improvement and the 7th as the stepping stone into the new world where solidarity is not common anymore. After the 7th house we look at our life and relations as a collective, not so much as an individual. For everyone must learn a lesson from every house and lord to become a better person, not only for themselves, but for the whole world.

~Leo teaches us to have a good time, not be bothered by accidents, expand our knowledge, fight for our ideas and enjoy being human in a very raw form.

~Planets that are welcome in a Leo's home include Jupiter, who expands this house, bringing luck and optimism into our hobbies and relationships. The Moon, bringing a firm duality into the picture, here the Moon will cater to intuition and desires into a natives personal and love life.  Mercury will also be welcomed with a smile on Leo's doorstep, bringing new communication skills to the table and a driven Mars to activate all that is said above...and of course a lovely Venus to bring a seductive manner.

~But not all feel at home here... like Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto

~Saturn in the 5th house

A cold planet in a warm house is always a no go. Here Saturn cannot find any discipline nor structure nor valuable time. With a prominent Saturn in the 5th house  individuals can have a hard time with playful and spontaneous acts. They can also have a great fear of losing oneself to others and not wanting to open up and try new things. By doing so they can feel like they have some sort of curse put on them, where life doesn't flow like it does for others. This placement can also indicate harder views on sex, where people feel like they are obligated or pushed to be intimate. Saturn here also delays children and stable relationships. Many with this placement can also feel downgraded and only find happiness in a steady career. This a very stressful position for Saturn with many expectations.

~Uranus in the 5th house

Uranus is all about surprises and novelty. It's a Aqurian planet. As said above Sun is in detriment when in Aquarius, so of course this can govern troublesome events into the 5th house. This can indicate a unexpected/unplanned relationship or pregnancy by all means. Uranus can also make it hard for the native to stay in relationships since he chooses freedom over all. It can also mean that a native finds independence through a lover or partner. They need a lot of security in love to strive.

~Neptune in the 7th house

In a woman's chart this can be a indicator of hidden romances for the native, since Neptune is a planet of dreams and the "outer world". This can indicate a lot of unfufiled desires and wants that are not being met since the native cannot express himself/herself directly. Love where a Neptune resides in the 5th house needs to be soft and tender with a highlight on mysterious sex. Since this house is about creativity, Neptune here helps the person becoming more dreamy about anything, such as acting.

~Pluto in the 8th house

This one is a tough one. Pluto is very transformative and needs a lot of space to get his point across. It governs all that is away, death, the darkness, rebirth, endings..etc. So not a very fun planet for a whimsical 5th house. With Pluto here it can have a very rigid and formal approach to life. You don't have a very carefree and easy going life. This placement can also mean a native can fall victim into a power struggle and feel guilty about intimacy. It can bring a lot of mental and health struggles into their life aswell. A very understanding partner is needed with a Pluto in the 5th house native.

[marypsue]

of course I recognize it, but I would love something for RB 2 Electric Boogaloo :>

[from this meme]

Ah yes. RB 2 Electric Boogaloo, also known as Something Borrowed, Something Blues, the sequel to Reincarnation Blues. I'll be honest, I've barely touched this one since late 2019-early 2020? My whole methodology of writing has changed since then, but somehow I'm still stuck on knowing what has to happen next, but not being quite sure how (or in what order). Maybe I need to try something creative with sticky notes.

I did start rereading this one from the beginning recently, though, to try to remind myself where I was and where I was going, and I have been working on it. Slowly.

Sample:

Where the shiny, modern glass-and-steel building that housed the Stanley Pines Memorial Library of the Supernatural had stood, now there was nothing but a flattened pile of rubble, still smoking slightly in places. Eldritch fire glimmered purple-green in between a few tumbled, broken concrete pillars. Bits of broken glass twinkled in the grass of the park that surrounded it and glittered over the asphalt of the road that passed by in front.

The motorcycle crunched over that glass and pulled to a halt, the woman in front putting a foot down to brace herself before pulling off her mirrored helmet and shaking out her iron-grey ponytail. An expression of melancholy crossed her face as she took in the wreckage, melancholy shading toward despair.

Archie could see why. He couldn’t imagine that anyone could have survived whatever calamity had destroyed the library – and, quite likely, caused that enormous percussive boom that had nearly knocked them off the road, earlier. Whoever they’d been coming to see, whatever information they’d hoped to find, whatever remedy to send the hordes of the undead back to their restless graves which they’d sought – all of it was now buried under the smoking ruin.

“Shit,” the motorcyclist said.

Archie found that, vulgar as her language was, he was forced to concur.

He’d only been staring mournfully at the ruin for a scant few seconds, though, before motion caught his eye. At first, he thought it was simply the smoke, or possibly one of those unnaturally-coloured flames, or maybe the rubble settling. But as he watched, a slender hand burst up through the wreckage.

Archie absolutely did not scream like a little girl. He had just barely escaped a gruesome demise at the hands of rotting zombies that punched up through the ground in a very similar fashion, anyway. If he had let out a short, masculine cry of distress, why – he could hardly be faulted, could he?

Whatever the reason, though, the motorcyclist turned.

For a split second, her expression froze, turning grim as she grabbed a piece of shattered rebar from the rubble at their feet. She raised it like a baseball bat as she took several careful steps toward the hand, which was now groping blindly at the broken concrete around it like, Archie thought a little hysterically, someone searching for a dropped contact lens. “Hey! Are you alive?”

For one tense, agonising moment, there was no reply.

And then, muffled, from somewhere under the heaps of concrete and steel, a voice piped up. “That’s kind of vitalist, don’t you think? What if I was a vampire?”

The motorcyclist sighed, a full-body release of tension, and swung the rebar down into the grass before clambering over the rubble to where the hand was still searching. There was an exasperated fondness in her voice as she started to pull the crumbling chunks aside. “Stars’ sake, Yaz, only you could think of something like that while trapped under a collapsed building.”

The exasperated fondness was echoed in the subterranean voice. “And only you would give me shit for it, Wanda. Hey, are you digging me out? You’d better be digging me out, or I’m going to haunt your skinny ass.”

“Yes, I’m digging you out,” the motorcyclist – Wanda? – grumbled, pulling aside a piece of girder as she looked back over her shoulder at Archie. “A little help, here?”

[lemonhemlock]

Sansa says to Tyrion: “You’re afraid of her.” And Tyrion replies: “Every good ruler needs to inspire a bit of fear.”

Is that true? Should every good ruler do that?

Should Sansa be afraid of her and was her behavior towards Daenerys smart?

I feel like it was, Sansa's stance against kneeling to Daenerys was not just about defiance; it was a strategic move reflecting her commitment to Northern independence and sovereignty. Sansa's refusal to kneel to Daenerys wasn't about provoking her for the sake of it. It was a calculated decision to assert Northern autonomy and ensure that any alliance with Daenerys was on equal terms. Kneeling would have symbolized submission, potentially compromising the North's ability to negotiate from a position of strength. Sansa understood the risks but believed that standing firm was crucial for preserving Northern identity and security.

What an interesting question! Unfortunately, I was taught only one seminar class on Machiavelli during my one History of the Middle Ages course,* so I'll not insist on the discourse on whether he was writing satire, was being deceitful, opportunistic (my teaching assistant at the time certainly thought he was!) or was genuinely writing a <mirror for princes> in the hopes of Italian unification as he may have seen tyrants as an effective political typology who could achieve that goal. Others more well-read than me can comment much more in-depth on this topic.

*I know this is the Renaissance, it was an expansive course, alright. :)

The question should at least begin with a discussion around Machiavelli IMO because he is very obviously the most famous source for the quote and the majority of the population familiar with this quandary have most likely heard it in association with him. But it's very telling that the idea of being feared is the one D&D latched on to, no? This reminds me of that Twitter meme of red flag books you see in men's houses after going on a couple of dates and the list contained titles like The Prince, American Psycho, Atlas Shrugged, How to Win Friends and Influence People etc.

Even so, even if you take the text at face value, that's not exactly what the man says, is it? He is pondering several options. In fact, let me whip out my copy of The Prince I bought way back in the cretaceous period for Year 1.

Even if you believe he is being genuine here and not just sucking up to (or trying to placate) Lorenzo di Medici, he is saying that love & fear > fear > fear and hatred. So, whatever you do, make sure you are not hated. And what is a sure-fire way to getting hated? Taking people's stuff! "Above all, a man must refrain from seizing the property of others, because a man is quicker to forget the death of his father than the loss of his patrimony"! And how does Dany answer Sansa's question of "what do dragons eat"? What does she say? "Whatever they like." Does whatever they like perchance include the assets of the Northerners, like cattle and sheep? Hmmm.....

In any case, Machiavelli was an ardent Republican, so why is he giving advice to princes? There is a contradiction that lies at the heart of this question and in how fandom perceives some elements of ASOIAF as well. Authoritarian rulers and tyrants can be very effective. It doesn't mean we should accept or normalize authoritarian rule. These two things are not in contradiction. Machiavelli doesn't have to believe, in his heart of hearts, that tyrants are preferable; he can simply write about how to make them efficient. And, again, I'm leaving the conversation about his true intentions to others who have genuinely studied the issue, because it is still under debate.

How I'm redirecting this back to ASOIAF is by pointing out that a lot of critiques of Westerosi rulers are hesitant to characterize any kind of imperious or strongman ruler as efficient, even when the text doesn't point to any material issue that might undermine their rule. Tywin Lannister and Walder Frey are examples of this. To my knowledge, there is no real contestation of their rule by their bannermen or smallfolk and they are not exactly the warmest individuals. Yes, they die, because they are the playthings of the author and he is killing them to make a thematic point. Not because they were overthrown by their underlings or in a peasant revolt. Tywin is killed by his own son in an act of personal revenge that has nothing to do with politics. Walder Frey is killed similarly by Arya in the show (in the books he is still alive). But, that doesn't mean that, in the real world, rulers like Stalin don't exist and are not successful and always pay for their crimes.

I would thus advance the proposition that GRRM does think that tyrants might be effective, but not that they should be endorsed and definitely the endgame of the series will not involve another tyrant on the throne, because he has power over these characters and he can eliminate whomever he wants from the narrative if he doesn't believe they fit the profile for the type of ruler he is looking for.

Ping-pong-ing back to the show, the question is ultimately a misunderstanding of the themes by D&D. They conflate being effective with being a "good" ruler. And it is important to define that efficiency in the first place! Machiavelli talks a lot about how to maintain your seat as a prince once you've got it. And the discussion on love vs fear happens in the context of how to prevent oneself from acquiring the ire of the population / one's subalterns and prevent being ousted. But would that truly be the trait GRRM is looking for in his ideal model of a king? A good king being one who efficiently held onto the crown? What about policy? What exactly is Dany's policy for Westeros? She has none in the show. In the books she has none as well, but at least she hasn't reached Westeros there yet, so there may be time for her to formulate something.

Regardless, the population shouldn't be afraid of its rulers, who serve for them. The only reason one should feel fear in relation to one's rulers is because they are judicious applicators of the law and would mete punishment accordingly if one has committed a crime. This is very much an idealistic manifestation of the relationship between the two, but it is not an entirely new concept. Even in the context of the divine right of kings,* there existed paternalistic notions of benevolence (noblesse oblige being one such manifestation), the idea that the upper classes have social responsibilities to care and protect the vulnerable and those less fortunate. So the idea of the elites being indebted in a way (or more like having a duty towards) the populace has always permeated political thinking. Of course, in the case of unjust rulers, philosophers like Thomas Aquinas also condoned tyrannicide (legally permitted in Ancient Greece, too). So, I would so as far as to say that there is basis enough to argue that a "good" ruler is one who cares for their people and doesn't abuse them or incite negative associations such as fear - and that it's probably what GRRM also has in mind when writing these godforsaken books.

*although I suppose I should mention that the idea that God granted monarchs authority to rule predates the coinage of that term, which is essentially absolutist in phrasing, because we are LARP-ing medieval times here and that predates the absolutist monarchy, contrary to what viral posts will have you believe (no, I will never shut up about this).

As for the second part of your question, yes, I would say that in the context of the show, Sansa refusing to kneel to Dany would be consistent with the goal D&D gave her, namely Northern independence. So it wasn't about antagonizing Daenerys the person or playing mind games, it was about achieving her political objective and implementing her own policies, as Sansa was one of the only characters shown to care about the logistics of survival, ensuring the needs of her population and caring for them as best as she could. Had she failed, Daenerys would have kept asking for her armies and money in order to fight in her world domination tour - a loss of resources that Sansa wanted to prevent.

Please bear in mind, though, that a lot of this is coloured by the weird decision to have Cersei be the final villain to defeat, whereas it's much more likely that in the books the battle against the wights is going to be the final, major battle. It's likely that the dynamics in the books will be different - not saying that Dany and Sansa are going to be bffs, but Jon, for instance, could have a much greater political involvement, one would hope, instead of being reduced to moodily repeating 3 lines. Also, Dany's public perception might very well change if she, IDK, murders her alleged nephew Aegon VI or engages in other endearing brouhaha.

[tanoraqui]

Sentences Saturday

@thelordofgifs tagged me to share "some sentences" from a WIP (side note: I love how far this has devolved from neat tag memes like "Five-Sentence Friday" or even "WIP Wednesday). As it so happens, I spent yesterday and today writing a short little thing for the Chronicles of the Kencyrath, so here it is in full! Tagging @finxwrites, @smallblueandloud and @words-writ-in-starlight to go next if you want :)

---

Smothering, twisting darkness swirled around them in a dancing duel with silver-pale weirding mist, and the mist was winning. Where it cleared away the taint and then itself, it revealed a silent battlefield—exhausted, watching the center where the Tyr-Ridan stood, the living all still alive for now and the dead all staying dead at last. Rathilien was saved. Perimal Darkling was destroyed.

Yet darkness still loomed in front of them, utter, absolute Darkness. Ahead and behind. The ground had stopped shaking—Mother Ragga stood watching with the rest, not far away. But something still shifted unsteadily beneath Jame’s feet. Some loose thread—loose steering rope, loose fate whipping in the winds of history—was left untied.

"We have to go back." Her lips were numb with the realization. "We have to go back and start it all."

Kindrie shouted, a wordless rathorn cry of grief beyond endurance. He turned away and strode to where Kirien stood, not far behind them (or maybe distance hadn't mattered in…about as long as time hadn’t mattered).

He took her in his arms and kissed her fiercely, then pressed their foreheads gently together. The serpent cloak on his shoulders wrapped around them both.

Jame looked away to give them their privacy.

The final battlefield was full of friends and loved ones, kith and kin, more alive than she would have expected. Timmon and Gorbel were leaning heavily on one another, as were Trishien and Dianthe of Danior, all surrounded by Kendar of a melange of houses. Randiroc’s jewel-jaws were feasting on his corpse, which was fair. A few steps away, Death’s-head had started eating the Dark Judge’s corpse, which would probably give him indigestion. Before Ashe had finally gone still with the rest of the haunts, she’d sat back to back with Harn, who was gritting his teeth over a mangled forearm while Sheth, kneeling beside them, tore and tied his black coat into a hasty tourniquet.

The Kencyr had gathered closest to their lords and lady, but they were far from alone on the field. Gran Cyd bent a bloody-speared Chingetai into a passionate kiss and showed no sign of stopping. Wolvers began to howl, a rippling harmony of triumph tinged with mourning. An assortment of Tai-tastigonian gods, Bashti ancestors and other deities still ran amok, mopping up shadows with spears, fire, frying pans and odder weapons, egged on by Old Man Tishoo soaring above. Through the howling chorus, Jame heard a distinct quonk! Further yet, Arribek sen Tenzi was already stalking around, rallying his hillmen for whatever came next.

He wasn’t the only one. Countless people looked back at Jame and in their eyes she could see that one word from her, the slightest nod, and despite their wounds, exhaustion, and dawning sense of relief, they would stand and follow unflinchingly into the darkness. Brier was already getting to her feet, with blood coating her side and a mulish set to her chin. Yce was glaring past Jame, past Tori, straight into the heart of Perimal Darkling, teeth bared and legs coiled to pounce on the enemy that still hadn’t fully vacated her territory.

Kindrie let go of Kirien at last, and she of him. As he walked back to his cousins, the serpentine Cloak pressed closer and closer to his skin until it sank in completely, leaving only a ghost of snakes’ heads at his shoulders. As it faded, Kindrie shone brighter and brighter, with a white light so pure that it burned Jame’s eyes.

She turned away, and dropped the ivory Knife from her right hand. It disappeared into the shadows curling around her feet and never landed; in its place her claws slid out, longer and sharper and more natural-feeling than ever before. Each would be deadly with only a scratch. 

As usual, Torisen was the last to join them. He hasn’t reacted at all to Jame’s words; his head was bowed over the Book still open in his hands, his shoulders hunched.

With a deep breath, he straightened. The Book flared and fell into ashes in his hands. The fire licked down the bonds that tied the Knorth to their lord, and the Kencyrath to their Highlord, and set them all loose before any could be drawn into the Darkness before the three of them. Pure Creation remained, unbound, and the Kenthiar on his neck blazed as brightly silver as his open eyes.

Jame snapped her few bonds with a flick of her wrist, as easy as breathing for Destruction incarnate. With her other hand, she turned her claws carefully away one last time as she took her brother’s scarred hand, and leaned her shoulder against his. Her odd, black-purple glow was dark against his silver, though still bright against the Darkness.

On her other side, Preservation gripped the loose sleeve of her d’hen, just in case the road was rough.

And so the three faces of the Kencyr god, Torrigien, Regonereth and Argentiel, walked out of Rathilien and into the Darkness beyond worlds, beyond time.

A little while later and thirty thousand years earlier, the Three-Faced god bound together the Kendar, the Arrin-ken, the in-between race that would be known as Highborn, and the short gray folk who had always called themselves Builders, and charged them to fight the purest malevolence of entropy until it was defeated—and then upon its defeat, to the stupefaction of many on a small, divinity-packed world far down the Chain of Creation, released them all at last.

[kingsmoot]

i'm stealing the asoiaf ask meme from here and only answering the ones i wanna do

1. Favorite Great House

BOLTON ❤️🩷⚔️

2. Favorite sigil/house words

Bolton flayed man / Greyjoy kraken of the main greathouses but House Horpe fucks the hardest

i don't like the house but Baratheon's "Ours is the Fury" FUCKS. also partial to Targaryen "Fire and Blood" for the mad max association. Stark "Winter is Coming" i have a permanent affection for bc i so clearly remember the feeling as a kid of reading it for the first time and thinking "that makes no sense??" and then reading the rest of the book and coming to understand those words very well.

3. Which book or character did you not like at first but eventually grew on you?

i straight up hated Jaime when i first read the series could not STAND his ass. hated him and Brienne getting together. hated him with Cersei. he is now one of my fav characters and these are teo of my fav relationships.

4. A quote so good it makes you crazy

5. Favorite bastard

WAMS

6. Who are you traveling the ravaged Riverlands with?

BRIENNE, PLEASE!!!

7. Favorite sibling dynamic

theon + asha but because i want them to have sex. i've been bothering my friend wormy for a week with my asha's rehabilitatibe rape kink pitch.

favorite siblings who i don't want to have sex are jon and arya.

8. Favorite theme

hard to pick but if i had to pick one i love how often beautiful characters who base their sense of self on their beauty and were known for it recognized for it and defined by it often get gruesomely mauled in ways that leave them visibly physically disabled and then they have to pick up the pieces and start figuring out who they are WITHOUT youth and beauty and vigor. i love this theme bc real life is also like this in basically all cases... it's just less of an all at once due to catastrophic intervention thing and more of a time taking its course thing as we all age into disability and out of beauty.

9. A mystery you need solved NOW

who is the mystery assassin haunting winterfell bc it can't be any of the named characters who we have established as already there so. like. lyanna rising from the crypts????

10. A theory you’ve adopted as canon

this is not a theory it is just my own personal head canon that is disproved very easily by canon but idc: that the miller's wife of acorn waters and the miller's wife of weeping waters are the same person. she moved to a nicer neighborhood with a better school district after she got remarried idk. these are my beliefs.

11. A theory you pray never comes true

i have accepted that jon/dany will become canon and i am so fucking mad dude about it, dude i'm lighting candles every day to ward it off

12. A moment that made you cry

"Sister. See? I knew you this time." rips me to shreds every single time without fail also cersei purposefully hurting taena when they have sex and thinking "this doesn't feel good. why would men do this to me if it doesn't feel good?" also jeyne crying that she'll do whatever ramsay wants even with the dog also theon telling us that helicent is a good dog that it was hard to remember sometimes but that they were all good dogs

13. A character so queer-coded you’d argue it to GRRM’s face

THEON AND ASHA. SORRY. THE FACT THAT HE HAS SAID THAT THEY ARE BOTH COMPLETELY STRAIGHT IS INSANE. LIKE THIS IS THE MAN WHO "DIDN'T KNOW" THAT THE RAINBOW CLOAKS OF RENLY'S GUARD COULD REFERENCE THE PRIDE FLAG. HEAD IN HANDS. THESE ARE GAY PEOPLE.

14. A ship that gives you the absolute ick

sansan i will defeat you if it's the last thing i do

15. Favorite “problematic” ship

thramsay, theonasha, and throose

16. Favorite canon ship

thramsay and jaime/brienne

17. If you write fic, is there a ship or au you would like to write for, but haven’t yet?

my two little asoiaf ficlets are both wip rn but soon i hope they will be published. they're throose + thramsay. i should write a theonasha one too actually. adds to list.

18. A POV character you wish wasn’t

QUENTYN AND DAVOS. ENOOOOUUUUGGGHHHHHH. I'VE HAD ENOOOOOUUUUGGGHHH.

19. Who would you elevate to a POV character?

she knows too much i think for it to work but my kingdom for a Barbrey chapter

20. A fancast you absolutely can’t stand

every little blue eyed elven 5'8" twink you guys keep digging up for your ramsay fancasts i saw someone suggest BARRY KEOGHAN?????????????????? LET'S BE SERIOUS

21. A fancast that just IS a character

https://.kingmoot tumblr.com/tagged/fancast tag

also i must say li'l jakey from hotd IS lich rally jon snow... a li'l too pretty but like SUCH a strong vibe.... i agree w the general consensus that he would be a gr8 lord commander

22. What’s something you wish GRRM handled better? (a character/theme/world building etc)

george has a lot of flaws that people project onto him which are not actual problems in his books. such as women lacking depth or him not understanding math. these have become memes at this point but they are both untrue.

he is, however, embarrassingly racist in his portrayal of the dothraki, of all the people of the free cities and slaver's bay, and of summer islanders

his characters of color are often if not always silent, under or undeveloped, and hypersexualized. his response to criticism of dany as a white savior being "well slavery in the free cities is like it was in the roman empire, which was not based on race" is hard to take seriously when all of the unsullied are ambiguously brown.

i think the racism in the main series is underdiscussed in favor of people talking about glaring problems in the HBOGOT show that are not present at all in the books.

23. An event/era in TWOIAF that you would love to see a film/tv adaptation of

I WANT A FULL BOLTON FAMILY TREE BACK TO THE AGE OF HEROS AND I WANT A HOTD SHOW ABOUT THE OLD KINGS IN THE NORTH FROM WHEN THE RED KING OF HOUSE BOLTON BENT THE KNEE TO HOUSE STARK RAUGH

24. Is there a house would you fit in with based off your own looks? A house you would fit in with based off your personality/ideals/vibes etc?

DIS IS SUCH A CUTE QUESTION I LOVE IT. i had jet black hair until recently and blue eyes so i would be a baratheon. w my current mousy brown i guess i'm somewhere between a stark and a tully? my hair is not auburn but it is a warm brown. but spiritually it will be bottle black forever so. ours is the fury!!

25. Your Drunk History topic (a character/theory/event/etc)

my poor dear beloved friend alex has been listening to me talk incesantly about roose ramsay and theon for like two years now. and i've been dead sober the whole time and I'm still finding more to say.

26. Be honest, are you still waiting for TWOW

SUMMER 2024 BABY IT WILL HAPPEN. IT WILL. I STILL BELIEVE!!! I STILL BELIEEEEEEVE!!!

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME ⟶ OXVENTURE PRESENTS: DEADLANDS / ch7 always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.

'you've got... whatever you've got going on.'

'i, uh, died. in a duel.'

'essentially, i am no longer living, i am powered by an evil spirit.'

'to all intents and purposes, i am dead.'

'that is a detailed and unsettling explanation.'

'it's no compensation for losing your bean appetite.'

'food has no savour for me and i can't get drunk.'

'i fired bullets into the back of her head and it was all fine after that.'

'the hypocrisy of it is what stings most of all well— the murders...'

'he's only seen it written down.'

'tremendous! i need to freshen up.'

'i find it makes me more pleasant to be around.'

'murder has more of a burning, hole through the chest sensation than a sting, but...'

'i would like to buy an astonishing amount of booze, please.'

'you're going to be so flammable.'

'she mentioned that you might be by. she didn't mention the smell.'

'TNT? can we have TNT?'

'use the time you have with the ones you love.'

'even if it smells bad, it's better than looking at the horses.'

'and i shouted at those children so much, that's how i got the nickname 'old yeller'.'

'can i see some... badge?'

'how am i supposed to make peace if i don't have my peacemaker?!'

'i was just on my way back from the well...'

'not everyone has to drink alcohol.'

'how would you imbibe... liquid... that is not alcohol.'

'i'm sorry, i simply stopped paying attention.'

'how'd you lose your nose, friend?'

'i've never lived anywhere so wonderful!'

'honest men have nothing to fear from the law.'

'i wouldn't go near a horses hooves.'

'i'm going to regret asking this, i feel, but...'

'you can't hang a man for having a drink!'

'should we ask them politely not to?'

'it's not a crime to ask!'

'it may be a crime to ask.'

'if we hang him now, he'll never do it again.'

'let's call them 'health complications'.'

'they can't kill you if you're already dead. it's double jeopardy.'

'first of all, heck. and furthermore, dang. and, uh, uh... ninny!'

'how many colours are in that waistcoat, ma'am?'

'that horse must be at least life sized.'

'i mean, unless you have a three foot neck.'

'i plead insanity.'

'ignorance of the law is no defence!'

'we also interrupted a hanging.'

'yeah, we aided and abetted.'

'you seem very stressed, can i offer you some corn whiskey?'

'you've really dropped the ball, here.'

'oh, no, oh no... mum said it was gonna be like this...'

'how long until you fall foul of the law?'

'if you cut off the head of the snake, it tends to be fatal for the whole thing, being as it is part of the whole thing...'

'i don't know, i've never learned my words!'

'you will not turn my couthouse into a house of cussing!'

'you came in, sir, and said 'butts'.'

'you're putting the spark to the fuse, you're really starting to piss me off...'

'one rule for him, one rule for the rest of us...'

'speaking spanish is now illegal!'

'my understanding is that he was dressed far fancier than me.'

'you look just like someone wanted for graverobbing.'

'what are you, old man?!'

'is this really necessary?'

'here we go again, i suppose.'

'he can't be killed! it's a sign!'

'why is this man not dead?!'

'is sharp rope a thing? well sharpen it!'

'a bad workman always blames his tools.'

'i'll blame you, you tool!'