#is it weird that i still have opinions on this?

[ckret2]

due to stuff involving a goat, the only thing that can save the pines family is sticking bill cipher in a cute dress, doing weird 70's things to his hair, slapping makeup on him, and sending him to flirt with a government agent

and if that ain't a setup for a chapter i don't know what is

anyway here's chapter 86 of this thing.

####

"Something about this is just wrong," Stan said. "It isn't natural."

"Oh, I don't know," Ford said, grinning. "I think it's funny."

Without looking over, trying not to move his lips, Bill said, "I'd like to see you do better."

It was still a few minutes until the Mystery Shack opened for the day, and he and Mabel were sitting in the kitchen, with Bill miserably wearing a mis-buttoned Hawaiian shirt so he wouldn't mess up his makeup when he changed into his flirting uniform. The makeup supplies Pacifica had sent them home with yesterday were spread out on the kitchen table, and they were collaboratively trying to remember how to recreate the look Pacifica had given Bill yesterday. Thus far, they'd managed moisturizer and foundation and were debating the finer points of concealer color theory.

"I didn't say it's bad," said Ford, whose opinions on makeup only fell into three categories: obviously hideous; fine, I guess; and potentially magical sigils for ritual purposes. "It's just bizarre watching you care about it."

Bill mumbled, "I'm blending in with the Nacirema." Ford barked a laugh. (About time somebody got it.)

Stan elbowed Ford. "What's a Nacirema?"

"It's— There's this phenomenon in anthropology— I'll explain it later."

Stan grumbled to himself about the nerds enabling each other, then said, "Hey. When you do the lipstick, don't make it look too good. If it looks too good, he'll assume you're out of his league and get suspicious when you start hitting on him. I never trust attention from a lady whose lipstick isn't at least a little cakey."

Offended, Mabel said, "Grunkle Stan, I'm an artiste! I can't do a bad job on purpose!"

Bill said, "It doesn't matter! Once I get my seduction hat on, he won't even glance at my face." He poked the top hat sitting on the kitchen table.

"Oh, no you don't," Stan said. "Hat's gotta go, it's too tall. Guys hate it when their dates are taller than them."

"What?!" Bill stared at Stan, aghast. "You've gotta be insane! The hat's essential—"

"Hold still!" Mabel poked his neck with the butt of a makeup brush.

He reluctantly gave up and turned to face her again, but not without muttering to himself, "Can't wear a seduction hat, can't stick my hand in a goat's stomach acid, god forbid women do anything."

Last night's hunt for Gompers had been an abysmal failure—Dipper and Mabel had never even glimpsed him. This morning, beneath the banter, there was a somber air in the room; the household was trying not to think about the fact that their collective safety was resting on Bill's ability to seem appealing to a normal man in spite of the fact that they were having a conversation, and he wasn't even able to convincingly pretend he had a plan.

Dipper was trying to get breakfast around Bill and Mabel. Once Mabel had puffed on a layer of setting powder, Bill twisted around to give Dipper an unnecessarily wide smile. "Hey! How do I look?"

He glanced up from pouring a bowl of cereal and grimaced. "Somehow even less like a real human than usual."

Bill laughed. "Yep, it's the lack of pores." He turned away to check his mirror as he applied his mascara.

Mabel said, "He'll look better once we get the lipstick on."

Soos ducked in from the living room. "Hey, uh, guys?" It was clear he'd been as distracted that morning as the rest of them; he'd misbuttoned his suit jacket. "I just saw the government dudes' car again. Like, in the parking lot this time, not lurking down the street."

The energy in the air changed, like a subtle electric current shooting through the room. "Okay, enough gawking at the freak show," Stan said. "Ford?"

"Right!" He grabbed up his coffee mug, re-thought it, and poured the mug back in the coffee pot and picked up the pot instead, then bolted from the kitchen. He returned a moment later with his arms loaded with his journal, several books, and a couple of guns that would definitely be illegal on Earth if Earth had ever heard they existed. "Basement."

Bill turned toward the doorway so fast Mabel almost smeared lipstick across his cheek. Basement? He hoped Ford meant his study. If they went all the way to the basement, and noticed that somebody had been moving around the rubble of the portal...

"Bill!" Mabel said.

"I know, I know." He turned back to her again.

A final line, and Mabel sighed in relief. "Okay, you're good."

Stan rummaged through the fridge for the first thing he could find to sustain himself and Ford for the day. "Hey, demon. Remember everything I taught you."

"Yeah, yeah," Bill sighed. "Don't claim I have a job he can fact-check, don't pretend I make more money than him unless I want him to invite me to a fancy restaurant and pretend he forgot his wallet, if he asks my age I'm fifteen years younger than him, my human family lives across the country, I don't have any sisters that might be prettier, and there's nothing I wanna hear about more than World War 2 battle tactics or vintage car repair or whatever hobby he's picked up to make himself feel more masculine."

"And?" Mabel prompted.

"And my favorite animal is cats, my favorite color is pink, my favorite flavor is chocolate, my favorite film genre is not slapstick snuff, my favorite time to get married is next week, and my favorite body part on a partner is their eyes still inside their sockets, but if I specify the socket part it'll worry him."

"Right! Gold star!" She smacked a sticker onto his shirt.

Stan clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Knock 'im dead," he said. "Not literally. Unless you're sure the other two won't catch you."

"I'll see what I can do," Bill said.

####

The three agents eyed the sign that had been set up outside the Mystery Shack's main door. It said, "Self-guided tour today! $15" and there was a cardboard box taped beneath with a slit cut in the lid.

Agent Dale said, "Do you think that's for us?"

"Probably not," Trigger said uncertainly. "We have a warrant."

"Huh." Dale reread the sign, then tentatively rummaged through his pocket for his wallet and pulled out three fives. Trigger pushed his hand back down.

Soos ran around the side of the shack, breathing heavily. "Oh, wow! What a... totally random coincidence... running into you guys again..." He put his hands on his knees, huffing. "Gimme a sec. I was... running pretty fast... for no reason."

"Mr. Ramirez," Powers said. He held out a search warrant. "We're here to search this building for missing government property."

"Oh, dude, that's crazy," Soos said. "Do you like, have evidence that this property is in the building? Like, I don't know, any kind of... signal that it's giving off, maybe? That confirms it's here?"

Powers turned to Dale. He pulled his tablet out to check. "Uhhh... negative, sir. We're nnnot detecting the signal we picked up yesterday."

Powers frowned. "Hmm."

Trigger said, "Maybe the signal's... on the fritz?"

"Good point," Powers said. "We'd better search anyway. Dale, you start in the museum; Trigger, come with me to the back. I'll interview Mr. Ramirez." He gave Soos a sharp look. "And I hope you'll have more to say today than that you don't know anything."

Soos swallowed hard.

####

From the living room couch, Soos called to Trigger, "Be careful with the stuff in here, okay? This old shack's full of priceless antiques and authentic exotic curios. I glued half of them together myself!"

"So." Powers took a seat in one of the armchairs, opened an unlabeled manila folder and propped it on his knee, and clicked out a retractable pen. "Jesús Ramirez, correct? You prefer 'Soos'?"

"Yep, that's right," Soos said. "When I started school, my cousin Reggie, he'd yell at me across the cafeteria to sit with him, like, 'Jesús!' But some of the kids in my grade thought he was saying, 'hey, Soos!' And it stuck."

Powers nodded slowly. "I... see. And, you're the head of the household."

"Yup! That's me!"

"Property records say that the house is owned by 'Stanford Pines'?"

"Uhhh, yeah," Soos said. "He kinda, stepped down as head of the house, unofficially, and I'm running the house now. Also the business."

"And where is Stanford Pines right now?"

"Oh, he's out." (They had agreed that under no circumstances could the agents talk to Stan, lest something from last summer come up; and they definitely couldn't talk to the real Stanford Pines, whom they already knew as a mysterious superior officer from Washington.)

"When will he be back?"

Soos hesitated. "Ooout of the country. World traveling. Yeah, haha, he's been doing that for the past year with his brother."

Powers flipped a couple pages forward in his file. "His brother Sherman? Who lives in New Jersey?"

"No no, his other brother."

His other brother who died thirty years ago?"

Soos paused. "Uhhh..."

Dale ducked into the living room. "Sirs—I've found something interesting. You have to come see this."

Powers got to his feet, closing his folder and tucking it under his arm. "Excuse me." He followed his agents.

Soos heaved a sigh of relief.

"Wow, Questiony,—you were this close to collapsing like a house of cards."

Bill sauntered down the stairs. He was in a dress covered in yellowy-orangey triangles that managed, for the first time all summer, to reveal that he did in fact have curves, and he'd grabbed a set of green triangular clip-on earrings from Mabel's jewelry. A gold star sticker had been stuck on one of the earrings. Soos thought it was kinda weird to look at him all dressed up, with hair and everything. Bill looked like if Bill had a sister.

"Man," Soos said, slumping back into the couch. "I don't know if I can take another round of that. They're using some kind of government interrogation mind tricks."

"Relax," Bill said. "I'll take it from here."

He shut one eye and shot Soos a pair of finger guns as he backed into the gift shop, and twirled around to go pursue his prey.

####

Dale jogged through the gift shop, nodding to a couple of tourists as he passed—"Morning, ladies"—and ducked through the "employees only" door. A moment later, all three agents jogged into the museum. An older woman asked, "Why are so many handsome men in suits running around?"

As Bill let himself into the gift shop, he said, "Secret government agents! They're here investigating a conspiracy."

"Oh my," the woman gushed. "Isn't that exciting!"

"They'll only be here today! See if you can get their autographs!" Bill leaned on the front counter. "Hey, nice to see you back. You were missed yesterday."

Melody gave him an irritated look from behind the register.

"Surprised you came in, after how you felt yesterday!" In part because Soos was attempting to get as many people away from the shack and out of the danger zone as possible. He'd told Wendy she could take the day off, he'd persuaded Abuelita to go visit Reggie and his wife, and he'd tried to talk the kids into hanging out somewhere else for the day and only relented when they argued that their plucky 13-year-old adventuring expertise could be useful if things took a turn for the worse. Surely, he'd asked his fiancée to stay home too; strange that she hadn't. "Word is you're having trouble sleeping. Bad dreams? If it is, I could help you out. I happen to be an expert on—"

"I don't want your help." Her voice was a lot more venomous than Bill had expected.

He blinked in surprise. He knew she wasn't his biggest fan, but that seemed unnecessarily hostile. "Whoa, just offering! Don't bite my head off. Those don't grow back."

Melody sighed. "Sorry," she said insincerely, looking away from him. "I just... This whole plan bothers me. Flirting with some poor guy just to distract him."

Don't lie to a liar, girl. Something else was bothering her. Still, Bill only said, "Do you have a better plan?"

"Yeah? Just don't do anything suspicious and make sure Gompers stays away from the shack until the agents get bored and leave."

Bill scoffed. "And if they don't get bored?"

"Why wouldn't they?"

"Why would they? This town's got gnomes, fairies, and a crashed spaceship."

"Well—yeah, but, that's not a reason to focus on the shack."

"Never underestimate what the government will chuck tax dollars at without a good reason!"

Melody huffed, "Okay, fine. I still don't like it."

Yeah, Bill bet she didn't. Especially with the Bureau of Covert Investigations here looking for someone dangerous.

Okay—he'd given the eagles enough of a head start for it to look natural when he casually bumped into them. He straightened up, stretched, and sauntered toward the museum's curtain. "I won't ask you to wish me luck—" he lifted one wrist toward Melody and shook the bracelet covered in evil eye beads that Mabel had given him, "—just don't wish me ill." And then he followed the agents into the museum.

####

"Here it is," Dale said, stopping. "What do you make of this?"

He was standing in front of the museum's taxidermy Sascrotch display.

Trigger covered his mouth, trying to hold back a snort of laughter.

Dale grinned. "It's pretty great, right?"

Powers looked the Sascrotch up and down. "I don't get it."

"Heeey, secret agent man!" Bill swept into the museum and leaned against the wall, head propped against his hand, other hand on his cocked hip. "Imagine meeting you three days in a row, what a coincidence! I'm starting to feel like you're following me around."

Powers looked at Bill—and then started a little. (Not used to seeing him with his eyes emphasized properly, no doubt.) His cheeks immediately turned pink. Flustered, he stammered awkwardly for a moment before getting out, "I—I—Pardon me, I can assure you, you're not under investigation—" Dale and Trigger exchanged a glance and tried not to grin.

"Hey, whoa! I didn't mean it in a bad way." He flashed Powers his best smile. (He'd practiced in the mirror. Mabel had given him tips on not making it too wide.) "Say, since I was lucky enough to see you again, I've got a question for you, secret agent man."

"Yes?"

Bill batted his long, gorgeous lashes at Powers. "Do you believe in love at first sight, or am I gonna have to arrange a fourth meeting?"

"Uhh." Powers's already stellar posture somehow found a way to straighten a little bit more. "The first three times were more than sufficient, ma'am."

"Haha, you charmer!" All right, maybe Mabel had had a point about not opening up with a line about eyeballs. Still, this would be a cinch. Bill had been manipulating humans for millennia, and flirting was no different. Slipping into this role felt natural. He was in his element. He was good at this. He'd have this guy eating out of his hand in an hour.

Dale and Trigger looked at each other again, and Dale said, "Sir, maybe Trigger and I should search the house. You can take the museum."

"Maybe you could interview the locals," Trigger threw in, before they beat a hasty retreat.

"Ho—hold on!" Powers said; but his agents had already abandoned him. What terrific wingmen. Not the best agents, maybe.

"Sooo," Bill said, "if you aren't here to see me, what brings you by this old dump of a tourist trap again? It can't be the displays." He tugged out the waistband of Sascrotch's briefs with a finger and let go, letting it snap back against its waist; a small cloud of dust puffed out of the fur. "Still looking for some dangerous character?"

"No, not at the moment. Nothing you need to worry about," Powers said. "We're here looking for some... sensitive objects?"

"Oh? What kind of sensitive objects?" Bill asked. "I've been to this little tourist trap a few times, maybe I can help find 'em?"

"I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to say."

"What, you don't think you can trust me?" Bill batted his lashes. That had been working pretty well for him so far. (The mascara had to be helping. Man, was he glad to have mascara again.)

Powers avoided making eye contact. "I"m sure you're very trustworthy. But—it would be an embarrassment to the bureau, you understand."

"Sure! Sure." Billl's smile wilted slightly. "Well—I'm sure you wouldn't mind if I just watch, would you? I've never seen a real federal investigation in action—seems exciting."

Powers hesitated, his professionalism warring with his very obvious crush. "I... suppose I wouldn't mind." Sure, like he wasn't utterly flattered.

As Powers's inspection took him around the museum and back into the gift shop, he said, "You said your name was Goldie? I don't think I ever got your last name."

Oh he'd better not be planning on a background check. "It's Locke—and yes, I've already heard every comment about it you can imagine."

Powers gave him a quizzical look. "I believe you told us to inform Mr. Gleeful that a 'Mr. Locke' had recommended we purchase a car from him?"

He had said that, hadn't he. If he'd known two days ago he'd have to femme up for this guy... "Sure! I happen to be related to a lot of Mr. Lockes!" Before Powers could pry into this family Bill had just invented, he hurried on: "Say, I never got your name, did I!" Did he? Since he already knew it, he couldn't remember if he'd bothered to ask.

"Of course—I'm Agent Powers."

"Is 'Agent' your first name, handsome?"

Powers flushed a little more, and he mumbled, "Manny."

"Manny Powers?" Bill casually slid between Powers and the vending machine to keep him from looking too close at it. "Like, 'manpower'?"

"Precisely," Powers said. "Obviously, that's... not my real name, just my assigned codename for field assignments."

Bill laughed, "Hey, not bad! 'Manpower,' that's pretty funny."

"Is it?" Powers asked. "Hm. It isn't supposed to be. I'll have to speak with HQ about that."

Bill pressed his lips together. Tell him he's funny, Bill! Guys love it when you tell them how funny they are! Last time hetook advice from a human on anything. He shot an exasperated look toward Melody, who winced in what he hoped was sympathy.

Trigger ducked into the gift shop. "Sir? I think we've found something. Really, this time."

Powers's attention snapped to him. "Show me."

Bill maintained his position until the agents were gone; and then he let out a long, frustrated sigh. He glanced at Melody. "How are we doing?"

She grimaced. "I'd give it... three out of five stars?"

"You're generous, I appreciate that." He nearly rubbed his eyelids in irritation, and only the sight of his red fingernails reminded him of his makeup in time to stop.

In his heart of hearts, Bill felt like he should have already won by now—but then, he'd always hated waiting for things. Usually he could force patience on himself by finding a peephole that would let him see further into the future so he could tell exactly when his latest plan would succeed. In this body, he couldn't see any farther than a few minutes, and he didn't have any eyes he could look through but his own. Like this, he didn't even know whether he'd succeed.

Except of course he would. Of course. He always did. He didn't need to check. He had until the agents left to make some real progress, and that was plenty of time. He'd figure this out.

He almost backed into the living room, remembered at the last second that he didn't want Melody to know about his door ignoring trick, and said flatly, "Door." Melody reluctantly left her station to help open it.

In the living room, Dale was standing on top of the table, which he'd dragged over in front of the TV, and attempting to pry a board out of the ceiling with a crowbar. He asked Soos, "You're sure you don't have a stepladder somewhere?"

"Uh-uh," Soos said. He was hovering in the doorway, wringing his hands together. "It's against the house rules."

"We picked up a faint radio signal," Trigger explained to Powers. "Like from a walkie-talkie with a dying battery, or..."

"Ah-ha!" Dale pulled a gray blocky object out of a space over the ceiling. It appeared to be a radio: it had an antenna, a speaker, a couple of glowing lights flickering on the brink of going out... and a large Bureau of Covert Investigations seal stamped on the front. The eagle peering through the magnifying glass seemed as surprised to see them as they were to see it. "Is... is this one of our transmitters?"

Powers blinked at it in amazement. "What in the Sam Hill is one of our transmitters doing in this building!" He directed the question toward Soos.

Soos flinched. "How should I know, I didn't know this place was bugged! I would've unbugged it if I knew." He paused. "Unless that's a federal crime or something. In which case forget I said that."

"We're the guys that oughta know about it," Dale said, shrugging cluelessly. "Since it's one of ours. Weird."

Powers held his hand out for the transmitter, examined it, and turned it over. On the back a strip of black label-maker tape read, "GOVERNMENT PROPERTY! IF LOST, PLEASE RETURN TO AGENT TRIGGER."

Powers and Dale turned to Trigger.

He looked between them, baffled. "Wh— Well, I didn't put it there! I would've remembered putting it there." He frowned. "I mean... I should remember putting it there."

Powers's lips were pressed so flat together they were almost invisible beneath his mustache. "Well. Obviously, we ought to take it back."

Tentatively, Dale asked, "And... place a new one with a fresh battery, sir?"

Powers's brows drew together in anger. Between gritted teeth, he said, "Not with the civilians listening to you say so..."

Soos was still standing in the doorway, and Dipper and Mabel were peering around him from the staircase. Melody had peeked in nervously from the gift shop. At the callout, the kids and Melody had the grace to withdraw again. But Powers wasn't looking at them. He was glancing sideways toward Bill, standing right by his side—and Bill's wide-eyed gaze never wavered from Powers's face.

This wasn't good—they did not need the agents trying to figure out why they might have left a bug in the shack. Damage control time. "Hey," Bill said. "if you forgot about it completely, must not have picked up anything interesting, right? Otherwise you'da remembered it!"

All three agents' faces immediately darkened and they exchanged meaningful looks. Bill didn't like it when people exchanged meaningful looks he didn't know the meaning of. "Apparently so," Powers muttered.

"I'll just... take this to the car," Trigger said.

Soos backed out of the way to give him room to leave, then trailed after him: "So, are there any other bugs in here we should probably know about...?"

Bill waited until Trigger was already out of the house before he said to Dale, "Hey, does he have the car keys?"

"Oh!" Dale patted his pockets, then hurried out. "Trigger, wait!"

Once his agents were gone, Powers grumbled to himself, "'Place a new one.' What happened to professionalism." He rubbed his forehead. "Find one bug that you mysteriously don't know about, and everyone forgets how to act like government agents..."

He trailed off, giving Bill an uneasy sideways glance. Bill was still staring full force at him. He cleared his throat. "You... have an incredibly penetrating gaze, ma'am."

"Thanks! Keep talking like that and maybe it'll penetrate you," Bill really wanted to say, but didn't; "flirtatious euphemisms that could be about stabbing" and "comments that put the fear of the cruel ever-watching All-Seeing Eye of God in you" were both on Bill's list of banned topics. Instead, he tried, "Thanks! You're incredibly easy to look at!"

"O-oh." Powers adjusted his tie self-consciously. Getting a little hot under the collar, huh. "Am I?"

"You bet! In fact, I was just thinking you really look like dad material."

"That's... kind of you to say," Powers said. "However, I've never liked children."

"Oh." Bill shut his eyes until the urge to turn somebody's bones into thumbtacks subsided. "Sure, that's fine. I can take 'em or leave 'em."

"Sir?" Trigger called from the doorway. "What's our next move?"

"Excuse me." Powers left Bill, heading out to join his agents on the porch.

Bill drifted out to the entryway. Mabel and Dipper were huddled on the stairs. Bill shot Mabel a pained look and hissed, "How could you have steered me so wrong?"

"Sorryyy," she whispered back. "I thought the dad one was a winner!"

"I trusted you, star girl." He slid outside behind Powers just before the door swung shut.

And just before Soos came back in, looking stricken. Dipper asked, "What happened?"

"The agent with the movie star face asked what days the museum's closed," Soos said. "I think they're thinking about searching it more? And, he told me not to leave town? I can't take this, dude." A wild look had entered his eyes. "I'm not cut out for prison. I'm too gentle-hearted!"

"Shhh." Melody took his arm and gently led him away from the door, rubbing his back. "It's gonna be all right, Soos. It sounds like the agents are distracted. Why don't we close the museum early for lunch and try looking for Gompers again, okay? Maybe he's ready to come home. And we can get some fresh air, yeah?"

"Yeah." Soos took a deep breath. "Okay. You're right." He turned toward Dipper and Mabel. "Can you dudes handle the gift shop while we're out?"

"Sure thing, Soos, no problem," Dipper said. "You go ahead."

The twins waited until they heard the sound of the gift shop exit door closing, then Dipper said, "Not it."

"Me neither," Mabel said.

"The gift shop customers can take care of themselves for a few minutes." Dipper opened the back door a crack, and they both crowded against it. Bill—leaning on the wall next to the door with his arms crossed—glanced at the kids through the crack, raised a couple fingers in acknowledgement, and then all three listened to the agents on the porch:

"Well, obviously the flash drive signal wasn't a fluke. They must have hidden it since yesterday."

"We can't leave until we find it and figure out what's happening here." (Bill made a mental note to lord that over Melody later.) "What are our next steps?"

"Should we request more sensitive equipment to scan for electronics? There might be other transmitters in the building with completely dead batteries we're not picking up." (That seemed like a fast way to discover the door hidden behind the vending machine.)

"Maybe we ought to run some more background checks on the rest of the people here. How many of them have we checked out?"

A jolt of fear shot up Bill's spine. And that seemed like a fast way to discover that "Goldie Locke" didn't legally exist. "All right," he muttered through the crack. "I tried this the human way. Now I'm doing it my way."

"Wait," Dipper hissed, "Bill, no! What are you planning?!"

Bill ignored him as he sidled up to Powers. "Not heading out already, are you?"

Powers said, "As soon as Trigger finishes updating HQ." Trigger had walked off the porch and was now making a phone call. Dale surreptitiously scooted to the other end of the porch to give Powers and Bill room to talk.

"Aww, too bad. I was enjoying watching a real investigation at work!"

"Hm. I'm afraid you didn't see us at our most competent," Powers muttered.

"Hey, everyone has an off day or two." Bill leaned closer, just near enough for his bare arm to brush Powers's suit sleeve, and murmured, "And, anyway—not to bad-mouth these rookies, but even on a bad day it's already pretty clear you're the smartest guy in the room. I can only imagine how fascinating it'd be to watch you at work when you're bringing your A game."

Powers cleared his throat, obviously trying not to look flustered. "Well. Yes. We'll no doubt be around a few more days. Perhaps we'll... cross paths again...?"

Not good. Too passive. By now, this sucker was supposed to be falling all over himself to ask out the mysterious blonde. Bill could probably ask him out and it'd go fine—but he wasn't sure how attached this guy was to traditional gender roles, there was a chance it could turn him off.

(That was the excuse he told himself. In truth, part of him was getting mad. He wanted to be the one who was asked out. He should be asked out. He was more than good enough to be asked out, and this over-evolved eukaryote had no right to deny him that.)

He pressed, "Still, I hate to see you go. Three times I've run into you, and I hardly know any more about you than I did on the beach! I get that being mysterious comes with the whole secret agent territory—but I've been going crazy, wondering all night about this handsome stranger in town." He put just the slightest emphasis on all night—and threw in a wink for good measure.

"H... have you?" Powers turned to face Bill fully. "Well... some of my personal information is classified, given the nature of my work, but—what do you want to know?"

"For starters, I think I'm overdue to ask you whether you're single!"

"I—Yes, I am."

"Whaddaya know—something we have in common!" Bill pretended he had to think a moment before saying, "Hmm... Hey, here's another fun little get-to-know-you question: what conspiracy would you most hate to be true?"

(Through the ajar crack in the door, he could hear Mabel loudly whisper, "Bill nooo...")

"That's a fascinating question. I've often wondered it myself." Powers stared off into the distance, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "I suppose... I think I'd most hate to find out the government has tried to brainwash its own citizens. Not just propaganda, mind—that's fine—I mean actual brainwashing."

No way. Bill had to pin his lips between his teeth to keep from bursting out laughing. Somebody had forgotten to tell this guy about MKUltra. Wow. Wow. He worked for the Bureau of Covert Investigations. How did he miss MKUltra. Bill had to grope behind himself for the porch sofa and sit before he lost his balance from fighting not to laugh. When he was sure he could manage a few words without a giggle escaping, he squeaked, "Yeah, that—sounds... pretty bad."

"What about yours?" Powers turned toward Bill.

He had to quickly prop his elbow on the armrest and prop his chin in his hand to hide his mouth, pretending to think. He hoped his amusement wasn't showing elsewhere on his face—human faces had too many muscles to keep track of. "Mm! Hmm." While he was trying to get his laughter under control, Bill tried to pick out one of the countless conspiracies in his repertoire that was obscure enough to be impressive but not obscure enough to be suspicious. (Or "obscure" enough Powers didn't know about it—hello, MKUltra.) "Wow, there's—there's a lot that'd be terrible. But hey, as long as we're talking politics—" (Mabel hissed "Bill NO!") "—I've heard a rumor in the area that there's a secret crazy president that was kicked out and covered up in the history books, ever heard about that one?" That oughta grab his attention.

But to Bill's surprise, Powers frowned thoughtfully and slowly shook his head. "No, it's unfamiliar. It must be a local theory," he said. "If the government were to cover up an entire presidency, I'm sure they would have a pressing reason for it—but I do see how the concept would be alarming."

Bill stared at him. Did this guy not know anything the government was up to?! He should have been going out of his mind trying to figure out how Bill knew about Trembley. Powers wasn't the kind of agent who could tell decent lies. If he did know something, he wouldn't play dumb like that; he'd just tell Bill it was "classified." Did he really not know? But the eagles' search for Trembley's remains should have nothing to do with the memories Ford wiped from the agents' minds.

The Bureau of Covert Investigations was so covert, agents usually weren't even told about other bureau investigations they weren't personally part of. So...

Was the bureau running two investigations in Gravity Falls?

Had Powers not been looped into the Trembley case?

"Uh..." Bill scrambled to think of another conspiracy that might catch Powers's interest. (He and Trigger had mentioned Hangar 618; no wonder they had time to work on cases across the country if they were only handling half the active investigations in Gravity Falls—no, focus, focus.) "How about Big Fashion, have you heard of that one? The theory that the fashion industry's teaming up to take down ways for people to get clothes other than buying new. Thrift shops, fabric stores, sewing pattern companies..."

Powers nodded. "I'm familiar with the theory." (Oh good—Bill would've been embarrassed for him if he hadn't known that one.) "I'm afraid I haven't paid close attention to the evidence for it. I already buy all my clothes new—I don't like the thought of another man's skin cells lingering on the inside of my shirts, it feels unsanitary."

It was no wonder this guy had been assigned to Gravity Falls. Bill doubted he was weird enough to really fit in here—but he was just odd enough to feel the town's pull. "For starters, there's the assassination of the president of Valhalla Sewing Machines a few years ago. Sewing machines are one of Big Fashion's top targets."

"Something definitely happened there," Powers agreed, "but all evidence points to the hit being ordered by Crooner Company over their rival line of sewing machines. They did acquire Valhalla just a few months later."

"And Crooner's been battling the bad PR ever since," Bill said dismissively. "Neither company came out of that mess looking good. It was an obvious false flag operation!"

Powers frowned, and for a moment Bill worried that he'd said too much—that Powers either thought Bill sounded like a crackpot, or thought Bill knew too much for some small town civilian... but he said, approvingly, "You know your stuff."

Jackpot. Time to go in for the kill. "I try to! I'm interested in how the gears of the universe turn. Reality, society, politics, business—what greases those wheels? Who winds the clock? There's a lot going on underneath the surface. And I like to keep my eye on all of it." He lowered his voice. "Actually, I'm glad to see you in town. I've also felt like something's going on under the surface of this town, but..." He left the sentence dangling.

Slowly, Power said, "Something... paranormal, perhaps?"

"Ha! Between the Mystery Shack here and that 'child psychic' in town, that's the reputation Gravity Falls has now," Bill said. "I'm not the kind of gullible dope to get spooked by ghost stories without proof. But—whatever's going on here... it does feel spooky."

Powers nodded slowly. "Whenever I'm in this town, I have the exact same thoughts."

Bill fought to keep the triumph off his face.

####

Dipper whispered, "I can't believe this is working."

He and Mabel were crammed against the door, one on top of each other, listening to Bill say, "This has been a fascinating conversation. I'd love to hear more about your work... wink."

Dipper said, "I can't believe this is working even though he says 'wink' out loud."

Mabels shushed him. "Bill's doing great!"

Powers said, "Unfortunately, I do have to go submit my own report to headquarters. But, I'm free this evening. If you'd like to see a movie, or...?"

Mabel gasped. "Idea!" She tapped on the door's window to catch Bill's attention, and, when he glanced her way, she pointed out toward the clearing beyond the porch.

Bill looked at the clearing and twitched in surprise. Through the crack in the door, Dipper tried to see what Bill was looking at. He couldn't see anything in the clearing.

Bill turned to Powers. "Howsabout dinner? There's a diner in town called Greasy's. I've heard good things about it! For starters, that the food is better than the name."

Dipper hissed between his teeth. "Wait, hold on—he's not allowed to go out, is he?" But Mabel didn't answer; she was sprinting full speed up the stairs.

From the far end of the porch, Dale said, "Oh, Greasy's is terrific, I went there yesterday for lunch. Makes a damn fine cup of coffee. And try the cherry pie."

"Very well," Power said. "When should I...?"

"I'll meet you at the diner. Let's say seven."

When the agents had left, Dipper yanked open the door. "What was that?! Nobody said you could actually leave to go on a date!"

Bill shrugged. "It wasn't my idea, it was your sister's."

"What?" Dipper frowned. "When did she say that?"

"She didn't. She's going to."

Mabel pounded down the stairs, counting the steps under her breath—"twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty eight"—carrying a neon yellow posterboard folded loosely in half. She ran out the door to the clearing behind the shack, held up the posterboard—she'd written "♡ INVITE HIM TO GREASY'S ♡" in thick black marker—and announced, "Ta-da!"

"You're too late," Dipper said. "Bill already asked Powers and he already left."

Bill said, "I asked him because I saw her telling me to."

Dipper looked between Bill and the poster. "Ohhh. Hang on. This is a future sight thing?"

"Bingo."

"How long should I hold it up?" Mabel called.

"Just give it another ten seconds," Bill said. "That thing's fluorescent, I could probably see it from an hour away."

She bounced on the balls of her feet for a few more seconds, then said, "Okay!" and jogged back to the porch, beaming from ear to ear. "That was so cool."

"Hey, smart girl!" Bill caught Mabel's sleeve before she could run past him. "You know, I've been talking to humans for thousands of years, and you're the first who's ever sent a message backwards in time to me?"

"Really?" Her face lit up. "Shut up! There's no way I'm the first-first!"

"Hand on heart, Shooting Star, no other human's ever tried it," Bill said. "You can't even see the fourth dimension, but you still understand it well enough to send messages through it. I'm genuinely impressed!"

Mabel's delight reached a boiling over point. She cackled in glee, gave Bill a quick hug, and bounded into the living room, crowing, "I'M THE GREATEST!"

Bill watched Mabel zoom into the gift shop, grinning proudly; and then his eyes slid sideways to meet Dipper's. "What's that look for."

Dipper was leveling his best suspicious glare at Bill. "Oh, nothing," he said. "Just thinking about how, the last time I heard you say you were impressed, you were just manipulating me into letting you puppet my body."

"Hmm! Yeah! I did do that!" Bill said. "Did I say I was genuinely impressed?"

Dipper's scowl deepened.

Bill's smirk widened. "C'mon, kid, don't be jealous just because you're not the alpha twin. It'd make your sister feel terrible."

####

"You actually got a date?" Ford asked.

"Sure! As if it's hard!"

Stan smugly held out a hand, palm up. Ford shot him an exasperated look, but sighed, fished around in his pocket, pulled out five large one-dollar coins, and dropped them in Stan's hand.

Bill stared at Ford, brows raised. "I don't know what's more insulting: that you bet against me, or that you've stopped using paper currency." Ford didn't deign to respond.

When they had been absolutely sure the agents were gone—for now—Soos had gone downstairs to let the Stans know the coast was clear; and now the adults were gathered in the living room again to discuss their next moves. Or, rather, Bill's.

Stan said, "So there's still been no sign of Gompers?"

"Nope," Soos said. "He's really run off. Plus, me and Melo—" (at Ford's look, he corrected himself) "—Melody and I drove around earlier looking for him? You know, in case he came out of the woods somewhere? But one of the government guys started following me in a black car? Sooo we had to stop looking, and I guess we're still being watched."

"Which'll make it harder to sneak me out for my date without them noticing I live here," Bill said. Maybe they could sneak him out with the crystal flashlight trick he and Mabel had pulled before, but he'd rather not tell the other Pines how they'd pulled that off in case they ever had to do it again. "We might be able to split 'em up while we outnumber them, but if this goes on for long, they'll bring in reinforcements."

"Ford and I can't help distract them," Stan pointed out. "We've gotta stay inside. And Soos is the only one that can drive Bill to this date. With the kids' help, we've only just got enough people to split the agents up."

Ford muttered, "Meaning there's no one to keep a watch over Bill." He crossed his arms. "Letting Bill flirt with a government agent under our roof is one thing—but I don't like a plan that involves letting Bill out in public and trusting him not to throw us under the bus." (Bill had considered it, but decided it would just cause the government to seize his portal and Mabel to never speak to him again.)

"He wouldn't do that," Soos said hotly—to Bill's surprise. "He already had a chance to run away and he didn't! And if he wanted us to get in trouble, he could have just not helped at all!"

"I..." Ford looked for a moment like he wanted to protest—Bill expected him to protest—but then he grimaced, shut his mouth, and said nothing. There was an even bigger surprise. Bill wasn't actually making progress with Ford, was he? Bill stared at the side of his face, willing him to explain himself; but Ford avoided his gaze.

Stan said, "Listen, I don't like letting him out either, but I don't think we have a choice."

"All right, all right," Ford sighed. "Fine. I don't like it—but unless Gompers shows up in the next few hours, you're still our best hope of getting out of this mess." (Bill decided to pretend that was praise and spent a second basking in it.) "Which means you have to find out everything the agents currently know and suspect, keep them away from anything that could restore their memories, convince them to turn their attention away from our household without the flash drive, andmake sure no one gets arrested. And you've got one date to do it all in."

It was a tall order—but the way Ford said it like a challenge, like he thought maybe Bill couldn't do it, made Bill's blood boil. "Piece of cake! Don't forget it's taken me less time than that to convince you to do a lllot more than that." At Ford's scowl, Bill grinned viciously. "One date's all I need. By the end of the night, I'll have this whole thing figured out." If he said it like he believed it, it was basically true.

####

(The only bits of this that were changed in the wake of TBOB were adding in the discussion about the Seduction Hat; and adding a short section establishing that Powers's team is not involved with the Trembley investigation and briefly mentioning Hangar 618. In the original draft of this chapter, I'd said that a different government department was handling the Trembley case, until TBOB established otherwise. Establishing that Powers's team wasn't on the Trembley case is something that'll be important in future chapters.

From here on out the plot arc speeds up and turns increasingly into some kinda fusion between a spy drama and a reverse heist movie. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts so far and your thoughts on where it's gonna go!)

[aceofwhump]

It's Valentine's Day and as an aroace I've always hated and struggled with this day for many reasons. But this year I decided to do something different. I decided to celebrate the kind of love that I have in my life. Because that's what this day is supposed to be about. I don't have or want romantic or sexual love in my life but there's still love in my life. And I want to celebrate it.

So I bought a present for my mom. A bracelet she keeps eyeing but can't afford.

I got some candies for my siblings.

I bought and put together those little valentine's that school kids do and I'm giving them out to all of my coworkers tomorrow.

I have a cache of memes to send to my friends (since none of them live close to me and I can't see them in person they're gonna get slammed with silly things via messages)

I bought myself a cute stuffed animal from the store that was amongst the giant valentine's day display.

I'm celebrating the love I have and receive from my family, my friends, my coworkers, and myself. And you know what? This is the first year I kinda feel excited about this holiday. It's weird. But I'm excited to show my favorite people how much I love them and appreciate having them in my life. Which is what this holiday should be about in my opinion.

So Happy Valentine's Day to all of you!! I love and appreciate you all so much!!!

Also, fun fact, but once Valentine's Day is over, Aromantic Awareness Week begins! Feb 16th!

[in1-nutshell]

I love the Scavengers and think they deserve more love <3 May I please request a bot buddy with the Scavengers where Buddy is secretly a Sparkeater? Maybe they find Buddy alone and injured, and decide to take them with. Buddy initially freaks out, but after calming down they decide to stick with the Scavengers. They’d definitely be not insane and not a normal Sparkeater in order for them to hide and interact with other bots, so maybe they can consume regular energon, it just gives less sustenance than sparks or energon from other bots.

Scavenger's do desire more love!

Hope you enjoy!

Scavenger's and Bot Buddy the Sparkeater

SFW, Platonic, Mentions of Sparkeater habits, Spark gets eaten, Cybertronian reader

MTMTE

No one knew that Buddy was a Sparkeater.

They all just collectively thought they were just naturally weird and were okay with that.

The crew wasn’t exactly fit to judge anyone for being normal.

Was it weird that they drank a bit more engeron than the other?

Maybe Buddy had a fast processing rate for energon than the others.

It wasn’t bleeding the ships supplies so it was fine.

Was it weird that they were a bit skittish?

The crew did find them injured and frightened, being skittish is warranted after a bad event.

If they ever wanted to talk about it, Buddy had been told multiple times that they could talk to them about it.

Maybe they were just shy by nature? Had anyone thought about that?

And was it weird that the bot was polite and well mannered?

According to Spinister and Misfire but these were written off as minor complaints.

But after a run in with a dangerous and deranged Phase Sixer, Buddy revealed their true nature after gobbling the spark entirely.

… There was some explaining to do.

Team that is scared out of their minds but eventually makes peace with Buddy

These bots were NOT expecting for Buddy to dash straight at the Phase Sixer unarmed. They were going to go get them when the Sparkeater’s spindles and sharp edges showed up. The phase Sixer dropping to its knees as his spark comes out of his mouth and gently floats to Buddy’s servos… which they then proceed to EAT IT!! These Bots have their weapons drawn and ready, crew or not if they start running at them, they will shoot. Buddy calmly apologizes for the sight and offers to give them the full story of them being betrayed by their kind for retaining a stable mind and not wanting to eat every spark that they came across. It takes a while for these bots to feel comfortable around Buddy again, weapons are always a few inches away. They eventually make peace with Buddy being a Sparkeater. And hey, extra security besides Grimlock!

Krok

Spinister

Crankcase

Team that after the shock, treats them normally

Much like the previous team, they are horrified when Buddy goes running in unarmed. There may have been screaming when they expose the spark and eat it. They have their weapons ready, but there is some hesitation. That was still part of their crew after all… The bots manage to get the others to listen in on what Buddy has to say for themselves. The bots are in for keeping Buddy and heavily vouche for them. Buddy will get bombarded with questions concerning their eating habits, recharge, opinions on the war efforts, if they want to be together in the next game of Shoot, Shoot, Bang, Bang, etc. These bots often scold the others who treat them differently.

Misfire

Grimlock

Team that faints on the spot

They can’t handle the stress of Buddy eating the spark and just faint. They will get a proper retelling about the events that happened. Its safe to say that Buddy wont be seeing them for a while…

Fulcrum

[luesmainblog]

also, have we all genuinely forgotten when the internet largley WAS adult spaces with specific places carved out for kids?? it wasn't perfect, but it worked a hell of a lot better than it does now. as a kid growing up on the internet, I was well aware that the spaces i existed in were not FOR me, and that if i saw something that made me uncomfortable, it was my responsibility as an internet user to go somewhere else. we were taught internet safety regularly by both our parents and the schools, which i will never understand why they stopped doing that.

and for the record, most social media sites you use nowadays break those safety rules really badly. you're not supposed to share your real name, age, face, location, race, gender, or other identifying/personal information unless you're absolutely certain it is safe to do so, or you've accounted for the potential risks and made an informed decision to share anyways. nowadays, you're also supposed to make sure your computer has an antivirus, malware detector, and VPN installed to protect your data and the above information. and another thing. you want me to think of the children? i am thinking of the children. i'm thinking of the children who are constantly being kept away from information they need, whose only way to learn is to encounter it online. I'm thinking of the kids who have no sex ed in their schools or homes, whose only way to learn basic biology and safety is from online resources - resources that are often scrutinized and taken away. I'm thinking of the gay kid who needs SOMEONE to tell him he's not evil for liking boys. I'm thinking of the trans kid who's currently making plans with someone three states away that they'll move out and live together when they turn 18, because as dangerous as meeting people online can be, it's still a better chance for them than staying in their shitty homes. I'm thinking of the kids like me who had weird, "disturbing" interests that adults didn't want to engage with, who can't get the books they want at the library because they're "inappropriate". I'm thinking of the kids who know more about politics this year than their parents have in 20, whose opinions won't be taken seriously for another 4 because they're "too young to know what they're talking about". i'm thinking of kids as people who can take in new information and make reasonable decisions with it. are you?

Maybe instead of asking what if a kid sees/hears this adult thing, we ask why is that kid in an adult space and get them to leave, instead of forcing all the adults to change and cater to the child who wandered into THEIR SPACE.

[twin-wxngs]

Woah, these are really creative and interesting ships! Like in a very good way, ofc, I haven’t seen much on these.

Sooooo….

What’s your thoughts on the trio (Dogday x Simon x Allister), Catnap x Toullie and Poppy x Bunzo?

Dude. Thank you, first of all, for sending this and being genuinely curious. Second of all...

YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'VE DONE. YOU WILL HEAR ME YAP.

1. Poppy and Bunzo! Okay, so at first when I was thinking about them, I was thinking of them as something platonic right? You know the whole deal with kids shows and having an animal companion, namely Dora with Boots, her cousin Diego with that Baby Jaguar, etc. But the more I thought about it the more I took a look at them aaaaand...

Thoughts of Jessica and Roger Rabbit came into my head. All because Poppy and Jessica are redheads. But using that lovely romance as a base, made me think the reason they work together is that Poppy would constantly stress herself out in my opinion. Bunzo however would see this and do what he's known to do, and make her laugh.

He's probably the only one that can tone down her seriousness and help her calm herself because she's busy worrying. It'd be this fun loving prankster that'd teach her how to look at the bright side of things. He makes her laugh, as Jessica would say. But I think Poppy would say that too and genuinely care and appreciate him for it.

And in Bunzo's case he probably did take one look at her and had an awooga moment, but instead of needing to impress her, which probably weirded her out, she just plainly tells him when they do start as friends that he just needs to be himself. And well, I can see it working out.

2. Catnap and Touille! Two tropes: Cat and Rodent. And then.. Yapper and Listener. I blame this guy for making me like it! @smilingcrittersthingig

But more on that, I like to think the part of Touille's character is that he's street smart and knows obscure things the others don't know, hence he's Bubba counterpart in that department, as they're both exceedingly knowledgeable in their own way. But the problem with Touille, like Bubba, tends to go on for a bit too much, that he never gets to talk about the things he likes around them and refrains from it.

But I can see Catnap being not only patient with him, but one of the only people that would actively listen to his rambles because he's heard it from Bubba. Unlike Bubba though, it would be different from what Catnap is used to hearing because it's not something that's brought up every day, especially if it's about your not too typical, obscure thing that can be used in an unconventional way, but still works. Touille has a collection of junk that he treasures in that regard that he doesn't show anyone, but I think he'd show Catnap.

Though I like to also think they started as enemies since they're in different groups, with Touille being a bit scared and attracted to said cat at the same time. But I can see Catnap thinking it's cute that he's scared too. He's a mischievous cat after all, and they like to "play with their food". So while he does scare him from time to time, it's ultimately lighthearted and he loves his little rat boyfriend.

3. THE POLY. LISTEN, I love all three of them. It originally started as SunCross and I still love SunCross a LOT, thanks to this idiot. @smilingcrittersthingig

BUT I FIGURED I'd throw a curveball. The reason being is that of Dogday's nature in comparison to the two Nightmare Critters. My thought process for this is Simon's greedy and selfish nature, compared to Allister who's laid back and lazy. I feel like Dogday would unintentionally get them both attracted to him when he decides to help them both get through their bad habits.

What attracts them is the way he acts. He has to be a leader, but people mistake this as him only being nice, but that's not the case. He's firm, he's to the point, and has to look out for everyone in the Smiling Critters as the Everyman, meaning he acts more serious than friendly. He's respectful, not friendly, but has a big friendly side. That soft side of his that helps the two slowly improve is what attracts them to him. And on top of that, it's how they treat Dogday that really puts the poor doggo in a chokehold.

Simon would proudly take him wherever he wants to go, buy him whatever he wants, and make it clear to everyone that this is his boyfriend with no shame, showing his love through material appreciation, but still meaning every word he says along with it, because what's the point of money if the one thing you want isn't made of money? At that point, it's something to be used to make that person happy. Although Dogday says money isn't everything, Simon at least thinks money can be used for something.. and if it can be used to make Dogday his, then he will do it. And upon him seeing him using his money for someone else other than himself would really make him appreciate it..

Allister meanwhile had a problem with his lack of effort and motivation, but I like to think a date would be where he tries to put everything he can into it, even if it's not much. He doesn't like all the attention, would pick a location just for him and Dogday to be alone. He'd prepare everything with a little help from say Bobby and/or Rabie to see what he likes, and would even get him a gift. And even though it's not much, he tried. The effort is there, and the doggo would wholeheartedly appreciate it. Although he didn't do much, he's trying. Dogday sees that and ends up just blushing hard.

So when it comes to choosing between Simon and Allister, he hits them with the "I choose both" and lets him hear him out on it, explaining that he can't imagine his life without either of them, because the two also taught him how to be himself, take breaks and relax, and share the obscure things he likes and knows how to do that he didn't get to show with the Smiling Critters.

And overtime, his love of the two would rub off on them and see the merits in the others (opposites attract yay!), with the three becoming a polycule. As a friend did say..

Simon with his two trophy boyfriends, Allister with the two people that he thinks are way too good for him, and Dogday with the two people that he helped improve, but helped improve him too.

[venusinthesun]

Your Fem Childe are the best!✨✨Can i ask for a meal for this Valentines ? for some delicious Yan Fem Childe 🫶🫡

I gotchyu 🙏 CW: murder, unwanted touching, childe is actually insane but who doesn’t love her? And a borderline freak out from reader. Whoops

“You know I went through a lot of trouble to get this,” You’re not looking into the mirror of your vanity, but you can feel the cold metal against your skin as she delicately clasps it behind you. “I didn’t have much time to relax in Fontaine after all, so getting this necklace took a lot of effort on my end.”

Instead of a proper response, a small hum of acknowledgment is all that Childe gets as a response. Normally she would frown, waiver a tad in her resolve to be a kind and loving partner, but when she continues on you can still practically hear the smile. “But it’s okay, I’ll do anything for my baby.”

She finishes the clasp of your necklace, straightening it out before deciding your hair was next. You unwittingly take a glance at the mirror, and the classic feeling of dread rises in your stomach. The necklace is gold and mostly unassuming. Near the middle on each side it has two gold spheres, but that isn’t really the issue with it. The first issue is the large, bright ruby sitting proudly in the middle of it; the second issue, is that it’s an exact match to childe’s earring.

It’s so extremely Childe. You can feel your heart rate pick up, and you have to remind yourself to keep still, to be good, to be docile. It has to be the matching necklace to the set of earrings she has, there’s no other way it wouldn’t match that perfectly.

“Hunting down that guy who owned the necklace wasn’t hard of course, just had to ask for some intel from the northland bank,” childe’s hands lovingly pull back your hair, roughly planning out what’s she going to do with it. Noticing the way you’re actually looking at your vanity now, she asks for your opinion on your hair, and getting no reply, continues on with her story. “Real asshole of a guy, you know? He didn’t want to give it up, talking about how it belonged to his family! I almost felt bad taking it from him.”

She drops your hair suddenly, leaning down to press a small kiss to your cheek. “You know how I got my earrings right?” Your eyes glance over to look at hers, and you’re sure you must be shaking right now.

“You..got them after you killed a guy..”

Her face seems to light up, like a child opening a gift on Christmas. She smiles at you, and for a moment you think her dead blue eyes almost glimmer again. “You remembered! That’s right! I usually don’t take rewards, but the earrings caught my eye in some weird way.”

This time, she gently grasps your chin to turn your fave towards hers. You don’t protest as she presses her lips against yours, a small light kiss. She pulls away after only a short moment, that same joy still illuminating her face. “So I had to get the matching necklace for my beloved, even if I had to kill another annoying man. Anything for you baby.”

[sillygoofyqueer]

I know that this is going to get weird but bear with me. Also this isn't meant to be as horny as it might seem.

I think that PIDW Logic™️ would give the middle finger to the whole point of bird demons having genders in the first place and make all bird demons lay unfertilised eggs about once a month, unless they get fertilised while still in the bird demon of course.

Crowyuan would be no different even if he's the heavenly demon variety.

I think Binghe would be jealous of Crowyuan's eggs.

I think Bingge might cook them if Xin Mo got to him.

Oh Binghe would be SO normal if he could naturally have children with Crowyuan.

And imagine how shocked and kind of horrified one of his followers/Binghe/the peak lords/the disciples would be if they were to find (one of) his nests with AN EGG in it. There isn't a baby in it or anything but STILL.

The crow family knows what's up but they still get a little surprise every time because SY doesn't bloody tell them when it's That Time Of The Month: Bird Demon Edition.

I am so so sorry the mpreg part of my brain leaked a bit into the Crowyuan part of my brain.

Henlo, Anon! Thank you for the ask, I very much appreciate it. I need to preface this with the fact that I read this ask, thought "huh, this doesn't feel very horny to me!" and then showed it to one of my mutuals as a sort of second opinion if you will, and they just said 'damn, egg layer Yuan' and that sort of put it in perspective for me. Despite that, I still don't think it's very horny, so either I'm just desensitised to it all, or this isn't horny! ANYWAY, if you want mpreg, we can literally have mpreg. Crowyuan now has mpreg. I don't know if there's a secret group of people who have been praying for this moment, but if there is, you can now rest. Put down the blackmail plans. We're going to look at Original Crowyuan, then Crowyuan on Cang Qiong but with the mpreg lens because that's FUN. (Also jiuyuan) ((To that one irl friend, my bestie booboo bear, you do NOT fucking see this. You never did. Dear GOD, YOU FUCKING DIDN'T.)) Original Crowyuan usually has his unfertilised eggs in his crow home, surprising his family at first but then they learn how to track his...'cycle' if you will, so they aren't caught off guard if there's a random egg in his nest. However, when he starts spending more time at Bingge's castle, it's a constant fucken wrestling match over eating the unfertilised eggs. It's like Crowyuan being like "DROP IT!! DROP THAT EGG!" and Bingge is holding it above his head and being like "I'M GOING TO MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME!! IT'S A WASTE!" However, I like to think that Bingge is also like "this egg could be fertilised. This could be my child. But noooo, it's devoid of a baby, so I'm going to fucking eat this." Dude I forgot the tag for the Crowyuan that's just chilling on Cang Qiong, but he's obviously just hanging around Cang Qiong and making nests on most of the peaks, so he does just have unfertilised eggs lying around. I imagine that Shen Jiu is the first to find out because (as stated in a previous post, I think) he's got disciples/a record on every single nest on Cang Qiong, so he sees this fucking egg just...lying around in one of the nests and is like "Oh. My God." and then like well what the fuck would he do with this? His pretty crow demon is going to be a mother! He must not let any of the bastard peak lords learn about this, 'lest they try and 'take responsibility' and step up to be a father to his demon's children, so HE must do it first. (When Crowyuan learns of this, he feels so bad because Shen Jiu is so determined about it, so he has to like...actually have a child! Cue mpreg.)

[truearchangel]

ㅤ "I'm not egotistical, I get I'm not the most important thing to you in existence, especially down here." Now, if they were still in Heaven that might have been a different answer. However, when it came to Samael and him, they were both well wrapped up in each other. In unhealthy ways as it had been pointed out to him before. A conversation her perhaps needed to hear, but came far to late. After all, what good does knowing you were unhealthy attached to your sibling when they were gone?

ㅤ In his opinion though, the bond that Samael and him had once shared was to just be expected. When two people only have each other (and a giant deity wrapped up in himself), growing attached to each other was just expected.

ㅤ He didn't mind being that close to his twin, it had been comforting.

ㅤ "I don't see why we need to talk about it, it's hardly damaging you." Michael dismissed, walking his way slowly around the bedroom and picking up a stray object here or there. Ducks, ducks, more ducks. He owned things other than ducks, right? Maybe Michael should get Lucifer some stickers to decorate the room with, they could glow in the dark. He had a feeling that his brother would like those types of stickers. It's why he bought them before.

ㅤ "I really don't need your help, it was just convenient at the moment to make that deal." He picked one of the ducks up by the head, looking it over a few times and then setting it back down where he had gotten it from. He didn't trust it to not start doing something weird.

ㅤ Brushing his hands off he turned around and set his gaze on his twin. "I can do what I have to do down here on my own, I just thought that if I did have a question and wanted to ask you, it would be convenient if you couldn't lie to me." Turning back away he nudged at one of the little ducks in front of him, watching it rock back and forth. "Which is funny, since there was a point in time where I honestly thought… you would never lie to me." And now he feels that he has to protect himself from that.

ㅤ How things change.

His twin clearly had jokes and the devil can't stop the way he rolls his eyes at the teasing jab towards his apple tower. He knows that Michael doesn't mean it because compared to the Heaven Embassy, his tower was downright simple in design. Better than the fucking eyesore on the opposite side of the hotel. Ugh. That was gaudy, though his sweet Char Char had been insistent in case that guy came back. He'd hoped he wouldn't but then like a plague he did.

          "Yes, smartass, in my apple tower. Unless you want to risk that little one making more of her interesting paintings." He didn't shudder but it was disturbing that the little bug maid had painted with blood.

With a gesture for the other to follow him, the fallen headed for the stairs and the elevator at the top. Electing instead for them to just walk instead of just whisking them away with his magic. At least like this it would make Charlie worry less and also keep Michael from poking at him that he was being lazy for using the easy way. Once both twins are in the elevator and the button for the top floor has been hit, Lucifer glances over towards the other as he rests his hands over the apple of his cane.

          "I didn't mean to take so long to get back to you... I had meetings and paperwork that kept me chained to my desk," Lucifer explained to the other as he felt the elevator come to a stop before opening with a crisp 'ding!' "I would've sought you out after a couple days instead of a whole week later."

While he could've texted, it wouldn't have felt good and Lucifer preferred for this kind of thing to be done in person. With a gesture for the other to step out first before he followed, the devil then led the way to his very nice apple tower with brisk steps. It was airy, in his opinion. The windows were easy for him to clean and he'd made the glass specifically so that while he could look out perfectly fine, no one could see anything inside it from the outside. Entering the room first, he waited for Michael to come in before shutting and locking the door, letting the privacy wards activate as he walked over towards the table he had in the room.

          "So, Mikey... we need to talk a little more about our deal and what you need my help with."

[specialagentartemis]

Aro- and Ace-Spectrum Murderbot Diaries headcanons

For the beginning of Aromantic Awareness Week, I thought I’d write out some of my a-spec headcanons for TMBD characters!

—

Murderbot: its opinions on romance and sex range from “I didn’t give a shit about [it]” to “No!” to “No, no thank you, no. No.” This one’s not a headcanon these are all direct quotes haha.

ART: Because of its limited socialization and its only very recent introduction to deeply feeling the things depicted when watching media, I have a hard time imagining ART conceptualizing romance as something it would want or has any reason to want. Its articulation of closeness, commitment, devotion, and duty is crew. I think upon meeting Murderbot, it kind of got friendship for the first time. But Murderbot is also very much part of crew now as well. I don’t see it feeling the need to add romance to that emotional-relationship framework. It’s adventurous with experiences, though, especially with things it might consider gaps in its knowledge; it may be willing to try certain types of intimacy, experience, or sensation out of curiosity.

Three: Still very new to the freedom to name and articulate its feelings and desires, let alone take initiative to act on them when they involve other people. It had a weird and unique kind of closeness with its squadmates: you’re the only one I can trust. We can’t ever trust each other. You understand me. We aren’t allowed to talk about it. Our communications are closely monitored and limited. We know what the limits are and how to express ourselves within them. I care about you. I want you to be safe. Three wouldn’t call it romance but wouldn’t know what to call it at all besides squadmates. If Three identified as anything it would be quoiromantic, quoisexual, quoi-everything: how can it fit its experiences into a framework of sexuality and romanticism.

Ratthi: Aromantic allosexual with a strong belief in relationship anarchy. Takes the viewpoint of, every one of his relationships is different because every person is different! Hierarchizing them or categorizing them is kind of beside the point! Every relationship, family or friend or colleague or coauthor or person he knows from board game night or sexual partner, is something special. Though the most important people in his life include his best friends Arada and Overse, and they consider each other family.

Gurathin: Aromantic asexual. Limited social energy. Spends a lot of time quiet and alone and likes it that way. A few strong friendships, a few work friends, a few scientific colleagues, a cat.

Pin-Lee: Gray-aroace. Romance, dating, or sex is not a particular priority she wants to spend time pursuing, and she gets an uncomfortable stomach-churning feeling if she feels like she’s being expected to tie herself down to a relationship too fast. There’s a lot about her work and her goals and her life she’s not willing to compromise on. If her friendship with Bharadwaj or Mensah became something more squishy and boundary-blending, she wouldn’t be opposed, but she won’t actively pursue it either.

Arada: Demisexual lesbian. Ideal family household is her wife and her best friend.

Volescu: Aromantic heterosexual. The aro allo het man that tumblr warned you about~ Devoted father and husband. Comes from a culture where marriage and romantic desire are a venn diagram of optional overlap more so than a necessary expectation. (This dovetails with my Divarti political refugee backstory headcanon because as you may have noticed I am going full My City Now at this point)

[dioslesbianwife]

hiiii can i request the jojos with a reader who is really kind and polite but has a really scary and powerful Lovecraftian-like Stand, and the reader doesn't like bringing their Stand out a lot because they don't want to be seen as a monster?

yep totally- thanks for requesting and hope you enjoy!!

Jonathan Joestar

Jonathan is incredibly kind and understanding about your fears.

"You are not a monster. A monster is defined by their heart, not their abilities."

He would never pressure you to use your Stand, but if you ever needed to, he would be right beside you offering comfort.

If anyone ever insulted or feared you because of your Stand, he’d get genuinely upset.

He’d hold your hands gently and reassure you:

"No matter how terrifying others may think your power is, I know the truth- you are one of the gentlest souls I have ever met."

Joseph Joestar

Joseph freaks out when he first sees your Stand.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

But once he realizes it���s your Stand, he completely changes his tune.

"Ohhh, never mind! It’s cool when it’s on our side!"

He totally hypes you up.

"You have one of the scariest Stands I’ve ever seen! That means no one’s gonna mess with you. Isn’t that great?"

But when he realizes you’re self conscious about it, he gets more serious.

"Listen, I know you’re afraid of what people think, but you’re still you. And that Stand of yours? It’s part of you too. It doesn’t change the fact that you’re the nicest person here."

Jotaro Kujo

His reaction is just a slow blink.

"Hmph. So what?"

Jotaro doesn’t care what your Stand looks like- he only cares about who you are as a person.

When he realizes you don’t like using your Stand, he never pressures you.

But if someone ever makes you feel bad about it?

"Tch. Who cares what they think? If they judge you over something you can’t control, they’re idiots."

Lowkey keeps an eye on you to make sure you’re not afraid of yourself.

He’s blunt but genuinely supportive.

Josuke Higashikata

Josuke is shocked the first time he sees your Stand but immediately tries to act cool about it.

"Whoa! That’s… uh… that’s actually kinda sick!"

Once he realizes you’re insecure about it, he gets really gentle.

"Hey, hey, don’t look so down! You’re, like, the nicest person ever! No one who meets you could ever think you’re a monster."

If someone insults you or calls your Stand creepy, Josuke’s not afraid to throw hands.

"Say that again. I dare you."

Giorno Giovanna

Giorno is completely unfazed by your Stand’s terrifying appearance.

"A Stand’s appearance does not determine its worth. Only its user does."

He’s incredibly understanding of your feelings and never forces you to use it.

But if you ever start doubting yourself, he’ll cut that off immediately.

"You are not a monster. Your kindness is what defines you, not the power you hold."

Lowkey thinks your Stand is beautiful in its own horrific way.

Jolyne Cujoh

Jolyne immediately loves your Stand.

"Holy shit, that’s badass!"

But when she realizes you hate using it, she dials it back.

She gets it, she’s been judged before, too.

"Look, I know it’s hard not to care what people think, but screw them. If they can’t see how amazing you are, that’s their loss."

Becomes your personal hype woman whenever you feel self conscious.

Johnny Joestar

Johnny is wary at first, but once he sees how kind you are, he stops caring.

"I’ve seen a lot of terrifying things in my life. Your Stand doesn’t even make the top ten."

He really understands feeling like an outsider and is always patient with you.

If you feel like you’ll be seen as a monster, he sighs and says:

"I used to think people only saw me as weak. But I realized the only opinion that matters is my own. You should think about that, too."

Would defend you if anyone talked badly about you.

Josuke Higashikata (Part 8)

Josuke is so chill about it.

"Oh, your Stand’s scary? So what? That doesn’t change the fact that you’re probably the nicest person I know."

He never acts weird about it or makes you feel bad.

If someone ever insults you, he just gives them a deadpan look.

"Okay? And?."

[the-skywalker-legacy]

Genuine question here, do people actually enjoy skybound?

I’ve seen some posts on TikTok talking about how it’s great because of the character development between Nya and Jay, which I understand, but then they don’t see anything wrong with it?

There are a lot of things that aren’t terrible about this season, don’t get me wrong… HOWEVER you can’t deny it gets weird.

Firstly we have Jay being mysogynistic and a bit of a creep. I saw someone call him an incel and unfortunately I feel they’re right. A lot of the characters get like this throughout the season as well, but it is mostly Jay. Personally he feels really out of character for a lot of the season, as well as Nya.

Onto Nya, I feel she didn’t get what she deserved this season. She told Jay she didn’t want to be defined by her relationships but he didn’t listen, and she makes a couple of very stupid mistakes. Then again, this is Ninjago and there are a lot of stupid mistakes.

Nadakhan had the ability to be such a good villain. If the writers didn’t make him interested in Nya i personally think it could have been more interesting. Yes, I know he was only interested in her because she looked like Dolores, but that does not excuse how creepy he was. Also, weren’t the ninja still teenagers at this time?

Alright, rambling over. I understand this season has very mixed feeling for a lot of people, and I really want to know your opinions on this season.

[melodyartist]

Do u have an opinion on Hades 2 Odysseus ^_^?

*Crack knuckles*

Oh oh oh! I do indeed have an opinion on this bastard, it's an unreasonable love and hate relationship with this guy. I played the game for just like 20 hours till now and I still don't know If I like him or want to strangle him.

It's also funny that 4 or more characters in the game are directly linked to his misadventures, "what do you mean they hate me more because you had beef with them" Polyphemus my boy need some justice honestly 😭 (but the funniest line he had untill now was about Poseiodon)

Design wise? He is cool like everybody else in the game,definitely not the best and not the worse, nothing really bad to say. I would even like to admit that he has a refreshing design with all his maps and trinkets, plus the dagger on his finger is so unnecessary, I love it for a show off like him.

Side note: I've tried to draw him from memory a while ago it was almost 4 A.M when I still didn't buy the game at the time... It didn't go that well, the only thing that I remember vividly was his grin, eyes and weird mantle with crosses, he ended up looking like Peter B parker 😭

"We got Odysseus at home" looking ahh drawing

Going back on track! Personality wise? That's where I want to throw hands with him.

Is he funny? Yes sometimes, do I skip his dialogue? Of course not, I don't skip anyone's dialogue, I didn't even skip Theseus dialogue in the first game so Odysseus is no exception (Mainly because I love the voice acting of all the characters, is so well done)

But do I want to wrap my hands around his neck in a so not loving way every time he says "my goddess" and tries to be flirty in a subtle way? Absolutely!

This version of him is clearly a womanizer and I'm ok with that! He is weak to women, that's fine, give me a man with flaws! But who wouldn't be? Have you seen the women in this game? chef kiss, stunning, gorgeous...but that's not what's throwing me off... There is something in him that just make me wants to kick him, idk I can't pin point it...

Maybe it's because I've missed it but not even once he mentioned his wife and kid, or any type of deep remorse for his past life, while Achilles was kind of the opposite. I don't really see him like an Achilles counterpart but more like a Hypnos counterpart.

Catch my drift, his role (at least right now) is to bring back reports and update Melinoe on the situation, adding funny anecdotes and comments. His dialogues feels less like a mentor/father figure watching over you, like Achilles was to Zagreus, and more like a friendly companion who is there to keep track of your progress just like Hypnos

So that's it.

[dress-and-impress]

(cal if you see this pls dont read it has spoilers)

Now that The Dragon Prince Season 7 has been released and the processing has died down imma just share smth right her right now... the whole "Ezran vs Rayllum" thing did not affect me AT ALL while watching it. Was totally unfazed by it becasue I knew they were gonna all be friends again by the end of it... and have no opinion about who was right and who was wrong (That's not to say I didn't feel weird about it. I very much did). So, here is my presentive of each character in this situation:

(picture obviously from a poster of TDP promo)

Ezran:

As every Ez stan knows, he's a young king and has many difficult and challenging decisions to make. He was NEVER prepared to take the throne and when he did it was with such honesty, patience and love for EVERYONE, human, elf and even villain (as per talking to Aravos and Karim about their views and perspectives). BUT when the love he had got taken advantage of, he lost it. Like I would too if you spend all this time building a bridge (hypothetically and in a way literally) with people perceived as "the enemy". His perception of the world became a blur and the innocence he had was shattered in a million pieces. When Callum left he was undoubtably confused but MORE determined to put his fathers killer to justice instead of asking why (like he usually does).

Callum:

Now he's a very controversial side because you either love him or hate him. Very quickly though i find it really strange how he keeps saying that Rayla does everything for others and wants to do something "for her"; the quazar diamond scenario in season 6 and at the oddly adorable bridge scene at the end of season 7. To put it quite plainly, Callum has no idea how to make himself happy, so he makes other people happy. But you're probably thinking "Callum pissed off Ezran and ditched his brother for his gf". Yes. He did. Callum was a mediator in the situation (or tried to be) and once he knew both sides couldn't be happy he had to choose. Ezran, his half-brother and King who has kingdoms and allies that support him no matter what. Or the girl he loves and spent years thinking about and wants to make up as much time as possible with her AND who regretted running away without asking for any help from Callum.

Lets refer back to the moments before Rayla decided to leave (on Callums birthday). She was determined to find Viren and finish what they started and Callum didn't want her to so they made a compromise. BUT THEN Rayla left as we know. Alone. With nothing.

Rayla:

We have no idea what Rayla spent those 2 years doing trying to find Viren but lets list a few things we know (from when she breaks Runnan out of prison); She had to say goodbye to her birth parents who she thought she was going to bring back from Virens coin, is banished from her home and cannot go back and is basically determined to have some form of stability in her life. Quick note, Rayla and Callum are not concerned about Aravos because they think he's still in the pearly.

Rayla has made a lot of impulsive decisions throughout the show and it should be expected that she would betray Ezran's trust and make things difficult for Callum to prioritise the need to get AT LEAST ONE OF HER PARENTS HOME SAFELY. Her mind was an utter blur and filled with emotion she didn't know how to express. The only thing Rayla wanted to do was solve the problem. TAKE ACTION on the one thing that's making her feel that way. She's done it before and will continue to do it.

So to sum up watching that scene and processing it, you need to understand all sides. The emotion, the determination and challenges that came across the three of them. It gave their characters development and gave us an opportunity to explore WHY the characters feel the way they feel or make the choices they choose to make. It was never a "right or wrong" thing but more so gaining growth and maturity that decisions need to be made regardless of how painful it may be.

[kingmaxstatic]

Goodmorning, Goodbye and Goodnight: A Post About Farewells.

... How do you break away from something or a piece of yourself for so long? Or at the very least, do so in the public eye?

Let's not beat around the bush.

I'm not happy in the Sonic fandom at the moment.

(More below the post)

So let me make this PERFECTLY CLEAR I have not fallen out of love for Sonic. I still adore Sonic and I will more than continue to enjoy it!

But I'm unsure if that enjoyment can really be.. public.. for the time being.

For a while I've always couldn't help but notice that the fandom is a bundle of bickerers. Makes sense. Most of us here are ND and VERY opinionated!

But this all came to ahead when I was watching a video about Amy Rose. And as I watched, as interested as I was. A video dissecting her current writing I realized something...

I was fucking miserable!

Why do I CARE so much about other people's opinions about something I enjoy? Even if I cringe at that one bumblecast clip of Ian saying "he wishes he could redesign Amy".

Even IF I understand the concern.

I still LOVE Modern Amy! I was letting this video give me insight, yes but it also made me feel guilt for even LIKING IDW's take on Amy (and IDW in general).

Infact guilt is something I've felt A LOT in the fandom.

Shit man, Starline is my FAVORITE character in sonic, period. But it feels like both the fandom (and the writers, to an extent) want to guilt you into not liking him.

That liking him is some moral failing on YOUR part? (Literally Ignoring the fact we've literally had a few years to grow attached pre-imposter syndrome and that he didn't just magically appear post-Chao Race Arc)

Yes, Starline sucks. Yes, he (in canon) used two random mobians for cyborg stuff. I know this. He's still an enjoyable character and I don't excuse his canon actions. It's even why in my own canon of him Imposter syndrome isn't canon.

I'm tired of the stress, man. I'm tired of not enjoying Starline. I haven't been able to properly enjoy him in a wile.

For my birthday I actually bought a Bad Guys physical copy!

And I have not touched it at all.

The stress of keeping up with this fandom has actually caused me literal anxiety shivers. I don't have fun any more. There's just.. too much discourse.

And I think it's best for me if I take a step back from it. At least.

So.. What Happens Now?

Well! What happens now is that I take a public step back from the fandom! Like I said I still very much enjoy Sonic.. I just don't think that enjoyment will be AS public any more. Gush about it with friends! Play the games! Draw art.. For Myself!

This doesn't mean I won't be keeping a close eye on my sonic moots (you haven't gotten rid of me JUST yet!) but it does mean I'll probably start blocking tags. Taking some breathing room. Finding that love for Sonic again on my OWN time. Be a lil selfish with it!

I still love and adore my ocs (and they'll still be around on Toyhouse and Art Fight!) But their stories are mine to share.. and sometimes I can just.. not share them!

What happens to this Blog?

SHIT MAN! I'll still be around! I probably just won't be posting in the sonic tag any time soon. I'm in OTHER fandoms right now (Nicktoons, Crash, Etc) If you like my writing and my art In THIS fandom surely you'll enjoy it in others!/pos

Even if those fandoms are more.. obscure to say the least? This Blog, at it's core, has always been ABOUT multifandom stuff and It feels like it's finally returning to that!

Nature is healing! KingMaxStatic is finally posting about WEIRD fandoms only 3 people know about again!!

What Happens To Starvoltz?

Though not an as.. urgent question. It's one I feel has held a lot of weight, at least to me. I know people are GENUINELY such big fans of Starvoltz and I think it's been the ONE BIG THING keeping me back from making me step back from the fandom...

So... I'm killing both Starline and Voltz off..../j (I would never)

I still LOVE and ADORE Starline and Voltz! They mean the world to me (and even the MOON to me!) But over the course of the past few months I've felt a nagging GUILT about them.. and I don't want to feel that anymore. I want to ADORE Starvoltz like I used to...

and In order for me to do that I GOTTA step back.

If you wanna get a lil cute about it, you can think about it like the two going on a honey moon or a vacation!

If you've made it thus far.. thank you. Genuinely. Thank you for understanding! I hope you understand. I love sonic, I will always love sonic. But I need my own space to love Sonic.

I suppose maybe like the main character I need to be free.

Free like the wind.

[elderscrollsconceptart]

would you ever do concept art for unofficial projects (beyond skyrim, project tamriel, etc)?

So I've thought about it but I don't think I ever will. Not out of dislike of the unofficial projects obviously. I love them and am playing Beyond Bruma rn (which is amazing!)

So why focus just on official artist credits on this blog? (In my opinion) many fan artists and modders (ironically) get better credit given to them by the TES community than a lot of official TES artists themselves receive.

The intention of this blog was to (help) address the lack of recognition and credit given to TES artists. We all see fan art, unofficial art etc. on here and the internet every day, but rarely do we see *official* TES art or concept art posted along with the actual official artist credits.

We all know artists like Adam Adamowicz, Ray Lederer, Michael Kirkbride, or Jeremy Fenske, but beyond these and a handful of other names we all know, we need to recognize that literally hundreds of other artists have worked on TES, many of whom we simply do not know the names of beyond seeing them generically listed in the game credits.

So beyond a small handful of names, why don't we see more TES artists names being credited when fans share their art online?

A. Alot of ppl are lazy and just wanna post art and don't care about giving industry artists credit.

B. We don't actually know (for certain) alot of the names of the artists of TES to even be able to credit them! So even if we want to give credit, it's sometimes literally impossible to know who did what without contacting Bethesda/Zenimax themselves, and even they might not know!

There are other ppl and websites out there who do work on this. Some of the contributors at UESP and other ppl like LadyNerevar over at the Imperial Library do alot of work tracking down lesser known concept art and artists names if they can find them.

But beyond that there's still just not enough work being done to name and give proper credit to TES artists. Bethesda/Zenimax themselves don't do a good enough job of this I might add beyond generically listing artist names in game credits. It's weird because I know some game fandoms DO actually do alot of great work finding and giving official artist credits.

(The D&D fandom largely does a great job with this IMO)

Fan artists and modders deserve all the praise and credit we can give them!

I just want to make sure we give credit to the industry artists who have made the work that's inspired those unofficial projects 🙏

[armandcock]

To add to your thing about bad takes on Armand kink, I think it's also related to fandom's longstanding issues with being uncomfortable with tops, doms, sadists, etc and their desires. Even if they can believe Armand really is a subby masochist, they don't believe that Daniel could be a sympathetic character and still genuinely enjoy hurting or dominating him, so they have him say no for Armand's own good.

–B

fuck wait i think yr onto something here that also has to do with the saintification of daniel & demonization of louis even though to me louis is way more sympathetic. which is also wild to me because louis only entered the relationship with srmand after armand assured him he wanted it (i want you more than anything in the world/are you sure about that arun/less maitre) meanwhile daniel did a girl only on the condition that she had a paper bag over her head EVEN AS SHE CRIED. hes arguably more of a sexual sadist than louis is! additionally on top of that its so weird thst even in some fics where daniel does take on the dom role its only cause armand really really wants it which arguably just makes it more clear that its the optics of certain relationships that really matter to the fandom over the reality of the relationship—if the dom/sadist did the same thing to the sub/masochist itd raise a hell of a lot more red flags. & that could be an interesting take on armands tendency towards coercion & using peoples guilt to manipulate them even when he puts himself in those submissive scenarios but thats never addressed because as i said, the reality of autonomy consent & boundaries is secondary to the optics of any given relationship to the fandom. which i think the opinions on loumand make abundantly clear.