#is it the mask or the autism or the transgender? world may never know.

[aropride]

two guys who just walked past me and when i looked up instinctively one of them was looking right at me and laughing??? can i help you or

[astramthetaprime]

Update, March 4th, 2023

Okay so here’s that update as promised.  

I finished the latest TopGun story this morning, I’ve been going through it making corrections and sundry changes all today.  This one took some doing, it didn’t just fall off the turnip truck like the others.  I’m thinking it may be longer than “The Flight of Dragonfly-1″ but I haven’t done a word count yet.  It was an emotional roller coaster to write so I was sitting here this morning just sobbing.  But it ends happy.  

I was stuck for a title but finally found it.  I suck at titles.  It’s going to be called “The Devil You Know”.  

I’m aware I’m behind on posting links to the individual stories.  But if you look up “AuntyProton” on AO3 it should come up.  Also the most recent is the official timeline post, which I will need to update as well for the new story.  

In other news, I may have a job.  I have had an interview and a one day trial, so I am in serious consideration for a job.  It will work out well if I get it, it’s doing simple data entry at a physical therapy office.  It’s via a temp agency but they have a policy that if you stay three months at a job it’s a permanent job.  So we’ll see.  Otherwise, I’m continuing to turn in applications and such, I won’t stop that til I have an actual job.  

I had to go out and buy some decent shirts and some decent shoes, first time I’ve actually gone out to buy clothes anywhere except WalMart or Amazon for probably decades.  The experience was not comfortable.  I am not female.  The whole fashion thing is completely foreign to me.  Plus the store had everything hung up so high I couldn’t reach most of it.  I’d have felt better just going to WalMart and getting guys’ clothing as I normally do, but ... well.  When people see me, they see a female body.  They expect female clothing.  They expect me to be something I’m not inside, and regardless of how uncomfortable I may be I will be judged on my appearance.  If it’s anomalous, I’ll be judged badly.  I don’t know what this is called in transgender terms.  Passing, maybe?  I don’t know.  Masking, in autism terms.  I’m ashamed to say I don’t know nearly as much about being transgender as I should considering I am one.  This is the first time I’ve had to really deal with such things.  Then again, I’ve never worked in a standard office environment.  At the Post Office we had uniforms so, ya know... it was different.  I did wear guys’ shirts at the PO, and either cargo shorts or cargo pants, so I was more or less okay genderwise.  The world would be a better place for me if everybody just wore t-shirts everywhere all the time.  

So I’ll be posting the new story likely tomorrow morning, I have to go through the story to put in the italics by hand so it takes a while.  If you’re on alert for my stuff you’ll see it likely before lunch.  L8R G8Rs.  

[tattlebentency]

hi! xenogender individual here. i didn't like the fact you're posting this in mogai/xenogender tags. i was looking for labels for myself, and i found your post. i felt awkward, but it almost looks like you're looking to be attacked online (which actually happened)

i'm sorry about the death threats other trans folk are sending you. nobody deserves that. that's horrible, i hope you are okay. about the meme: this almost seems like internalized transphobia, you know? not because of the xenogender part, i'll ignore that for now. because of "i'm trans, but i need to show society i'm normal". i don't know you, buddy. but i'm normal.

it almost seems like you think you're conflicted between your identity and societal expectations of "normalcy". you might be afraid of being discriminated or judged.

however, every trans journey and experience is unique. it's important that trans folk embrace authenticity and explore aspects of their identity without worrying about society and gender roles. about xenogenders? well, you know. experiences.

transgenderism and neurodiversity walk hand in hand. 1 in 44 people are autistic. that's a lot! and you know what's funny? based on the global population, warrier et al.2021 estimate somewhere between 3-9% of transgender and gender-diverse adults may be autistic. trans individuals are 3-6x more likely to be autistic. they are more likely to have a comorbid neurodiversity, also! higher percentage (than cis individuals. hell, even afab, who usually mask their symptoms) suspect undiagnosed autism. autistic children/adolescents are 4 times more likely to be gender-diverse. MOGAI means marginalized orientations, gender alignments and intersex. people who aren't straight/cis/perisex (who didn't feel connected to the LGBTQIAP+ meaning anymore) made the acronym, you certainly know that, yeah? xenogenders are mogai, and they were made with the intention of crafting other methods of categorization and hierarchy. were made for individuals with NDs, but they can be used by anyone. neurodivergence affects how we perceive ourselves and gender.

while xenogenders can be hard to understand, they were made because someone struggles to find a label that fits their identity. like me. their life experience doesn't simply define by male, female, neutral, etc. describing their experience by something else completely different helps.

you may not understand, that's okay. some things we don't understand. you're ND and can describe your gender well? good! i'm also ND, but my gender is way more than that. i personally see my gender as an amalgamation, an abomination. that doesn't mean my gender is invalid. my gender? i see it as everything and nothing at all at the same time. and HELL, i am fuckin' proud of it.

imagine that a friend saw a movie that you didn't. they say it was amazing, because of something they experienced in that movie. is their experience invalid just because you didn't watch it yet? think about it.

i saw that one reblog, and i think i should comment too! xenogenders aren't the reason the society doesn't takes us seriously. they never took us seriously. society doesn't give a shit, and lgbtphobia isn't our fault - it will never be.

if you think that the MOGAI movement hurts a "real" trans person... what do you qualify as someone who's a real trans person? dysphoria? the world medical association, the world health organization, the american psychological association, and many others agree that not all transgender people suffer from dysphoria, therefore it is not a requirement for being trans.

TLDR; don't put discourse in xenogender tags!!! i hope you get well of your internalized transphobia. society doesn't care about us, stop trying to please who doesn't deserve it

I felt a little salty about this today.

[mindingmyownbrain]

Identity Confusion/Crisis in Autism

Recently I realised that it isn’t unusual for autistic people to have lifelong struggles with their identities. This has certainly been true for me. I’ve spoken to many autistic people who feel as though they don’t have a stable sense of who they are or want to be, and sometimes feel as though they live their lives switching from identity to identity or being extremely preoccupied with it in an attempt to figure it out.

Everybody needs an identity to help them work out how to act in the moment and predict things about themselves in the future. This in turn can help us imagine what we might want from our futures and what would be worth committing our time, money, and energy to.  

Confusion about your identity, therefore, means that you will have trouble knowing what you want, what to do, or how to relate to yourself or other people. You may feel as though that you don’t know who you are in one or more aspects of you life to such a degree that you or others find this disruptive, distracting, or distressing. 

There isn’t much research on this subject as it relates to autism specifically but there is some research on identity confusion more generally. For instance, I came across a video on YouTube that talked about identity confusion and borderline personality disorder. The description of the video chimed with me:

Many individuals with BPD feel uncertain about where they end and others begin.  This is part of the unstable self-image often seen in those with this diagnosis.  This video will discuss identity disturbance in BPD and the feeling that you have no idea who you are or what you believe in, characterized by shifting goals, values, and vocational aspirations. There may be sudden changes in opinions and plans about career, sexual identity, values, and types of friends.

There are significant differences between BPD and autism, but the feeling of not knowing where I end and others begin is something I have felt my whole life and is something that I have heard from many other autistic people, too.  

Identity confusion, broadly speaking, can lead to or manifest as…

Not knowing what your priorities are; 

Not knowing how you feel;

Letting other people or circumstances decide most things or everything for you;

Feeling as though you are not real;

Dropping out of hobbies, social circles, commitments or long-term goals;

Difficulty asserting yourself or being unable to hold your own in an argument (you might find yourself adopting the other person’s point of view even if you disagree with it and forgetting what it is that you actually think and feel);

Difficulty regulating your behaviour in social interactions (e.g. acting excited when you want to be calm, laughing at things you don’t find funny, etc);

Randomly joining or wanting to join different subcultures or religions;

Feeling as though you have several people living inside of you;

Difficulty maintaining friendships;

Confusion about your sexual orientation that doesn’t go away;

Having trouble identifying and committing to your goals;

Not establishing a career because you don’t know what you want to do with your life;

Dropping out of school, college, or university - perhaps repeatedly;

Feeling as though you’re not living up to your potential because you don’t know what your potential is because you don’t know who you are;

Other people might view you as immature because of your lack of commitment or constant experimentation;

Constantly doubting your decisions and don’t feel like you can trust yourself;

Feeling as though you are always putting on an act but you don’t know how to stop, or who you would be if you did stop;

And so on.

Masking (which is when an autistic person hides their autistic traits) is an obvious thing to ponder when it comes to autism and identity confusion because of how it can make us feel disconnected from our inner selves and the world around us.

Where this subject got really interesting for me though was in realising that there are many, many things that might contribute to this confusion for autistic people. Some of these things are to do with our own psychology and some are due to the pressures of living as an autistic person in a non-autistic world:

Masking (hiding our autistic traits);

Social isolation (we find out who we are in part through our interactions with other people);

Feeling as though other people don’t understand us;

Not feeling independent (according to  clinical and developmental psychologist  James Marcia, an identity crisis tends to resolve for teenagers when they attain independence in adulthood. If your independence is dependant on other people helping you, could it be that you might struggle to feel fully autonomous? And, if so, what happens if people refuse to give you the help you need?);

Rigid routine or autistic inertia (this can limit our experiences - we may perseverate and/or think deeply about something, but if we can’t experience it or test it out we may never get to truly resolve our identity crisis or confusion);

Perseveration (autistic people tend to be deep thinkers but we can also get “stuck” on ideas, going back to the same thought or idea again and again and again and again); Obsessions and special interests (we may become intensely interested in a topic or subculture and analyse it or think about it constantly… but not act on it or try it out for real);

Impulsivity (autistic people can be both rigid and impulsive and swing from one to the other);

Mimicking non-autistic people (even if we don’t want to or don’t really understand what we’re doing or why);

Having few or no autistic role models (especially ones relating to more than one aspect of our identity);

Taking things literally (such as believing things other people tell us about who we are, who other people are, and how the world is, etc);

Struggling with a theory of mind (not knowing how someone else does or would think, feel, act or believe and why can make you feel confused as to how you think you should think, feel, act, believe, or do something and why. You may also not know if someone else’s thoughts, feelings, actions, beliefs, preferences, or reasons for things are actually relevant to you in any given situation);

Rigid thinking* (such as believing we “should” be a certain way all the time even if you’re not. A desire for things to be definitive can perhaps also result in wanting to label ourselves to make an otherwise illusive identity more concrete. For example, if you were a goth you’d know which clothes to wear, if you were vegetarian you’d know what food to eat, and so on);

Gender dysphoria (this is common even if the autistic person is not transgender);

Disassociation or feeling disconnected from the body;

Alexythymia (trouble identifying or feeling one’s emotions - not every autistic person has this but it is more common in the autistic population than in the non-autistic population);

Feeling overwhelmed by other people (other people’s identities or influence over you can seem stronger to your than your own);

Depression and anxiety (extremely common in the autistic population);

Executive dysfunction (this can leading to a lack of follow-through and under-achievement, which can in turn lead to a lack of closure on issues and areas related to identity);

Wanting to fit in and wanting to be like other people;

Feeling different (many people struggle with their identity but autistic people can feel very different to those around them and may struggle all the more for it);

Being told we “should” be a certain way by non-autistic people (”you’re too sensitive! Why are you making a fuss? Why can’t you keep up and remember things? You should be able to do that!” etc);

Being told who we are by non-autistic people (such as, “you have autism, you are not autistic”, “autistic people are weird”, “autistic people should be great a maths”, “autistic people lack empathy”, “autistic people are obviously autistic”, “you’re not autistic”);

Having our autism doubted by non-autistic people;

Being overwhelmed by how many ways there are to be (we get overwhelmed by choices at the best of times…).

Again I want to emphasise that these are my own thoughts and theories, and I’d love to know what you all think as it has been quite an exciting topic for me personally to consider.

I’d also like to hear from other people who have an identity confusion that is related to another condition, such as BPD. Do you relate to any of the above?

I suspect there is somewhat of a taboo surrounding identity confusion as people often say they don’t want to sound as if they’re being “fake” or make people worry that they don’t actually know us. I hope that in talking about it we can shed some light on this issue and draw attention to it - and possibly research, too. 

* Interestingly, a friend of mine once said that she deliberately maintains her black-and-white way of thinking to give her some protection from identity confusion. She decides very bluntly what she does and doesn’t like (even if she doesn’t know because she hasn’t tried the thing before) or will and won’t do (even if it is inconvenient), and this lack of flexibility helps her resist feeling overwhelmed and as though she is “losing” herself in other people

[ladyautie]

get to know me more!

@funyasm​ tagged me and I’m bored after writing my chapter, so here it is!

✨ what do you prefer to be called name wise?

My name’s Sophie. My friends call me Spencou or Spence. We met on a Role-Playing game forum where I played a character named Spencer. We’re used to call each other by our characters’ names and nicknames, most of the time. My brother calls me Sis’.

✨ when is your birthday?

15th november 1993.

✨ where do you live?

Paris, France.

✨ three things you are doing right now?

I’m watching an episode of AT4W on youtube, scrolling on Tumblr and I’m drinking a coffee.

✨ four fandoms that have piqued your interest right now?

Definitely It and especially Eddie Kaspbrak and the ship Reddie. I’m kinda obsessed right now, writing fanfic, reading fanfic, daydreaming about it and all.

I just played the Last of Us 2 and I’m currently watching a let’s play from my favorite youtubers, Mari and Stacy from Geek Remix. I’ll probably read a few fics as well.

The tv show Barry (HBO) is a definite special interest for me. I’m probably going to watch it all once again real soon and I’m planning on writing a fanfic or two in the future. I’m dying for the third season to come.

Finally, I’m probably going to be super into The Umbrella Academy once again, when the second season will be released. I’m just really into Vanya, Klaus and Allison and I can’t wait to see more of them.

✨ how is the pandemic treating you?

None of the people I know have been contaminated, so I’m lucky about that. I’m not quarantined anymore, back to work, and the transition is not easy. 

I feel like I’m more openly autistic than I used to be and that I can’t stand the rest of the world for a long period of time. I’ve experienced multiple meltdowns and shutdowns and I have real difficulties to socialize with most people or to focus on my work.

I feel incredibly naked and vulnerable whenever I’m leaving my flat without my mask on, so I think that’s definitely something I’m gonna have to work on in the future.

Leaving Paris and meeting my folks for my mother’s wedding, I found myself surrounded by people who mostly didn’t care about the virus, kissing each other on the cheek in true french fashion to say hello, hugging, not wearing a mask, not respecting any kind of social distance. 

I was quickly overwhelmed by all of that, plus the noise, and I had to isolate myself in my parents’ car, sobbing hysterically and willing to suffer in a overheated car if it meant having a bit of peace.

There are definitely going to be long-term consequences. I can only hope that my physical health will remain okay, though.

✨ song you can’t stop listening right now?

Keep On by Sasha Sloan. I just really love the lyrics and the message.

✨ recommend a movie.

Whenever I have to think of a movie to recommend, Frank by Lenny Abrahamson is the first one that comes to my mind. This movie is an obsession for me since the first time I watched it and I often find myself watching it again and again. Despite its heavy subjects, it’s definitely a comfort movie for me.

Too often, movies featuring mentally ill characters will aim for the characters to “get better”, which doesn’t mean for them to find healthy ways to cope with their issues, but usually for them to look more “neurotypical-like”, if you know what I mean. Frank  doesn’t go that way at all. On the contrary, it pushes the viewer to empathize with the main characters and to understand their point of view, their way of being.

It’s so incredibly comforting to watch a movie featuring mental illness realistic and not romanticized and to have the movie say “you’re different and you have issues, but you’ll find your tribe someday and be able to find your own happiness, even if it’s unconventional by society’s standards”.

I don’t know, I just have so much feelings about this movie. Plus the music slaps, the humor is hilarious (kudos to the random French guy who can perfectly understand English but refuses to utter a single word if it’s not in French) and the actors are truly on point (I can only salute Domnhall Gleeson, among everyone else who is also worthy of praise, because he definitely managed to make me hate his character in a way I almost never hated a character before).

Watch it!

✨ how old are you?

I’m 26 years old.

✨ school, university, occupation, other?

I used to be a librarian, but I couldn’t find a stable job in this field, so I passed an entrance examination and I’m now working in the tax administration. Yeah, not really glamorous, but it pays the bills and I’m accommodated for my disability, so it helps. 

✨ do you prefer hot or cold?

Definitely cold. When I was a kid, I used to swim in mountain lakes, at temperatures close to 13° celsius, and I still take my showers mostly cold. I can’t stand heat, I get headaches very easily when it’s sunny and I’m getting confused easily whenever it’s too hot. I recently had a nosebleed at work so intense that I found myself spitting blood (it went better once I got a fan, making the temperature bearable).

✨ name one fact others may not know about you.

I used to be allergic to my own sweat when I was around 18, until my early twenties. Whenever I was doing a mild physical effort or getting stressed out, I would get hives and itchy skin rash all over my whole freaking body, which was so exhausting that I would fall asleep immediately as soon as the rash was gone. 

It disappeared as suddenly as it appeared, without me ever doing something about it. I still don’t know why I experienced that and if I’m going to experience that ever again. I hope not.

✨ are you shy?

My autism makes social interactions complicated, but I’d say I’m mostly impaired by my social anxiety and the various traumas I’m dealing with daily.

Traumas I got after having been bullied pretty badly by kids and teachers during my school years, my stepfather being borderline abusive and different traumatic experiences, including my childhood crush dying from a ski accident when I was 15 or so (and me never being able to tell him that I loved him) and people betraying me so many times that I can’t even recall every little thing.

As a result, I find myself doubting constantly that I’m worthy of love, affection and respect and I often wonder when I’ll do or say the “wrong” thing that will cause me to lose everyone I care about. I also have a hard time knowing who I am and, as a result, allowing everyone to know who I am as well. 

I often don’t know what to say and will find myself keeping my mouth shut, even on topics I’m knowledgeable about, because I’m scared of people shutting me down, among other things. My friends make it easier for me to talk about things I like and all, but I’m still heavily doubting myself.

I try to challenge myself regularly. I’ll force myself to take part in events that are taxing or that are forcing me to perform in front of people. That’s how I found myself taking part in the casting part of the french equivalent of “American Idol” (I merely met the pre-judges, but I did manage to sing my whole song in front of them). I needed to prove to myself that I could do it.

✨ do you have any preferred pronouns?

I’m using she/her, but I don’t mind people using they/them to talk about me if they don’t want to be gender-specific.

✨ any pet peeves?

I hate how people can freely and openly be homophobic, racist, ableist, transphobic, sexist and so on, but as soon as I open my mouth to let them know that what they said/did wasn’t appropriate, I’m labelled as one of those “hysterical feminists” or a “party pooper”. s/ Sorry if your antisemitic joke isn’t making me laugh, my “dear” colleague... /s I hate whenever people infantilize me, especially my mom. She’s still keeping an eye on my bank account, despite me telling her that I didn’t want her to do so again and again. I don’t dare to block her out, because I’m scared of her emotional reaction.  I hate the ugliest parts of fandom, notably the obsession with “who’s topping / who’s bottoming” whenever there’s a gay pairing or the racism / ableism / transphobia / homophobia I’ve witnessed again and again.

I don’t dare to engage in the Last of Us 2 fandom because of that and the way some people describe the character of Abby (a very muscular woman), focusing on her physical appearance and calling her awful names (being downright transphobic when they thought that she was the transgender character that Naughty Dog announced there would be in their game). 

✨ what’s your favorite “dere” type?

I had to google it, because aside from Yandere and Tsundere, I didn’t know a thing about it. I guess you could say I’m a Dandere (someone who is quiet and asocial. They are afraid to talk, fearing that what they say will get them in trouble.). 

My favorite type is Kuudere though, when it comes to anime in particular (someone who is calm and collected on the outside, and never panics. They show little emotion, and in extreme cases are completely emotionless, but may be hiding their true emotions. They tend to be leaders who are always in charge of a situation.). 

My favorite anime character, Kiyotaka Ayanokōji from the anime Classroom of the elite, is the most extreme case I can think about. He’s completely expressionless for most of the anime, talks with a very dull voice and it’s impossible to know what he’s thinking about at all times or what’s his overall plan. His hidden depth makes him all the more fascinating. He managed to keep me interested in a mostly meh anime.

✨ rate your life 1-10. 1 being really crappy and 10 being the best you could ever be.

It’s a bit hard, but somewhere around 5 or 6? I went through tons of crap in my life but I’m still here and able to live on my own, even if my quality of life isn’t all that good. I live with nearly daily suicidal thoughts since I was a teenager and have to compose with my meltdowns and anxiety attacks as well. I feel “other” most of the time and I can’t relate to most people I’m meeting and interacting with, which can sometimes feel very lonely.

On the other hand, I have wonderful friends who are willing to put up with my trauma crap and are overall amazing to talk to and be around. I have a cat I love dearly. They’re the reason why I’m still alive to this day, giving me a reason to say fuck off to my suicidal thoughts. 

✨ what’s your main blog?

My main blog is Ladyautie and is about autism. I have another blog, reddie-4-more, focusing on the It movies and Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier.

✨ is there anything you think people need to know about you before becoming friends with you?

So, uh, don’t be weirded out by the kind of things I can tell you about my past. Even if it seems a lot, all of it is definitely true. 

For example, I was almost kidnapped when I was around 8 or 9 by a random guy, while I was camping with my father. 

My father and my paternal grandmother actually kidnapped me and my brother when I was around two and I stayed with him until the social workers determined that my mother had to raise us again because our well-being and overall life were threatened. 

Lots of events of my life seem far-fetched or out of a movie / a book or something and I had people telling me that I must be lying or that I’m over-exaggerating, something that always hurts deeply.

I’m terribly awkward and more or less openly autistic, so you’re definitely going to notice something different about me. I can’t change for you and I’m not willing to hide my traits only to make you feel more comfortable about frequenting me, so if you can’t handle my socially anxious and disabled ass, then just leave.

I need people to actually tell me what they think or feel. I’m very “first degree” and I’m pretty bad at guessing what people are thinking about. Don’t be afraid to be frank.

Finally, never, and I mean never, infantilize me. I’m a 26 years old woman. I’m not a kid.I’m fine with my friends offering to help or making sure that I’m okay or so, but never assume that I don’t understand something and don’t force your help on me if I say that I’m okay.

That’s it, those who want to take part in this exercise, don’t hesitate!

[kayotic-catgirl]

RIDE THE CYCLONE ENJOYERS!!!!!! ITS DONE!!!!! MY AUTISM EVIDENCE IS DONE!!!!! I DIDN'T DO JANE DOE BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW SHE'S AUTISM BUT WOOOOOO DONE!!!!!!!

warning: i am absolutely HORRIBLE at explaining things and i like projecting onto fictional characters!!!! i also cannot guarantee this will be a good explanation but i'm trying my best!! also a lot of these are stretches but look man im tired and bad at explaining myself okay

Ocean O'connell Rosenberg

For most of the musical, Ocean sticks to what she thinks is right very strictly, experiencing frustration when others don't share those same beliefs (i.e: ocean appearing grossed out when constance mentions pornography and disliking that noel had swore in the chorus of his song)

She's Literally A “Gifted Kid”, We All Know Gifted Kids Are Never Neurotypical

Can accidentally come off as insensitive often (i.e: the entire “what the world needs” song, accidentally insulting constance during her speech before her song, accidentally insulting EVERYONE while trying to talk about how much she loves them all)

You can't tell me she isn't constantly masking okay I just know.

Infodumping (i.e: the “AND THAT IS WHY NOBODY SHOULD HAVE A LIBRARY CARD!” segment)

Noel Gruber

Was literally stated to be different from the kids around him in his childhood

His special interest is France I’m sorry I don't make the rules (i.e: acted out french movies as a child and worked at taco bell to save money for moving to france)

Studies have found links between autism and creativity, which makes a lot of sense for Noel since he was an aspiring poet

I’m definitely projecting but the quote “Mum tells me I gotta try to…blend in, so I tried really hard to…”dial it back”. I had to.” is SO autism. (i may or may not strongly relate to him because we have the same experiences with being queer and those experiences also remind me of my autistic experiences but shhhhhh)

I know a lot of this can translate back to the childhood experience of being gay, but autistic people are more likely to be sexually diverse as well!! Therefore, I chose to believe its both.

To add on, if you happen to be an enjoyer of the trans Noel headcanon (i’ve been seeing it a lot lately so thought i’d add this), autistic people are more likely to be transgender, especially under the nonbinary umbrella (may or may not be propagating one of my noel hcs here by mentioning the nonbinary part haha.,.,.)

Feeling “out of place”

i am autistic and i relate to him so he's also autistic (this part is /j)

Stimming

Ricky Potts

Seeing things different than others do (i.e: finding deep meaning in the concept of pornography and his response to ocean claiming everyone is an accident)

His special interests are his religion and cats.

Again, studies have found a link between creativity and autism.

Associates things with seemingly unrelated topics (i.e: ricky’s response to ocean getting mad and saying everything is an accident)

Infodumping (i.e: refer to my previous bullet point)

Mischa Bachinski

I chose to believe him explaining the moral of Saw Five (which i recently learned is actually saw six) is infodumping

Special interest is hip hop because I Said So

Masking. He tries to appear tough, but we quickly learn that he's not, considering his catchphrase.

Just Look At Him

Stimming

i am SO sorry i don't have much for him at all if anyone wants to contribute please do i'm sorry mischa and fellow mischa enjoyers </3

Constance Blackwood

Autistic people are more likely to struggle with their sense of self worth, usually due to autistic trauma.

Masking. I could write an entire essay about Constance and how much she masks. I am probably projecting but she is known for being the nicest girl in town and over apologizes a lot, even when she doesn't mean it. This could just be my experience, but extreme politeness, subservience, and faking certain emotions are my main ways of masking and I could see a lot of that in Constance. She was taught to do this by her environment and adopted the belief that her small town is horrible because MOST PEOPLE SHE KNEW THOUGHT THAT!! Even when she lost her virginity, (or rather, was sexually assaulted. going on a bit of a tangent here but why do i see nobody talking about that?? i mean, 17 and 32?? that is DEFINITELY not consensual) she pretended to find the carney’s joke about his tattoo funny, remarking that “you should always laugh at guys jokes or they'll think you're a cow”. SHE MASKS HARDCORE. YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE.

THERE I HOPE MY EVIDENCE IS ENJOYABLE AND DECENT GOODBYE I KNOW THERE WASN'T MUCH BUT IM HONESTLY JUST HAPPY PEOPLE WERE INTERESTED IN MY SILLY BLORBO THOUGHTS!!!!! ALSO SHOUTOUT TO MY FRIEND @aroacefrog FOR HELPING ME WITH SOME OF THIS (ps: if i think of anything else i'll update the post >:33)

"jane doe is autistic--" you FOOL, EVERYONE IN RIDE THE CYCLONE IS AUTISTIC