astramthetaprime

[astramthetaprime]

Sounds like the main theme for a ninja movie set in the old West where the ninja is an immigrant trying to start a new life and gets sucked into dealing with a haunted abandoned hotel in the California desert. Maybe with Jeff Bridges as the bad guy trying to kill the ninja who gets nommed by the ghosts.

I wonder if the Eagles have seen this?

Hotel California on Guzheng by Moyun.

[astramthetaprime]

Sorry, dude, Autism isn't contagious.

i need to become weirder & creepier

[astramthetaprime]

I'm Gen X on top of AuDHD. I can read or watch an instruction and immediately forget it. No joke, click over to the tab with the written instructions, click to the thing to be done and it's gone. I have to click back and forth at least 3 times. My last job, I asked my supervisor for printed instructions and was told "oh you'll pick it up". So I had to sit down with a coworker and take half a legal pad worth of notes. For a data entry job I was expected to "pick up". That involved patient data and health insurance.

Give us written instructions at a minimum, for EVERYONE not just us professional scatterbrains!

In Prince's funky name, amen.

[astramthetaprime]

Too Much Time to Think

I was out at 8 AM this morning with my dog, getting out for a walk with him at his favorite place before the day started heating up. Although "walk" isn't really the right word for what he does. He's half-Labrador, half-Corgi so the hunting dog side of him insists on sniffing every blade of grass and peeing on about half of them, so it's a stop-and-go sort of thing. It's a popular spot for walking dogs so I refer to it as he's "checking his pee-mail."

It was quiet and it's a safe place in a largely residential area, and no one around that early except cars passing by of folks heading to church early on a Sunday morning. No one thinks much at the sight of a strange person on the dog walk trail sweet-talking a bossy little dog. So we amble along, and my mouth just babbles on it's own down the litany of nicknames I've given my dog, trying to get him to walk more than three steps at a time.

My mind was elsewhere, as it usually is.

I've been out of work for three weeks now, and filling out applications online as much as I can. I spend every weekday morning til lunch doing so, and keeping track on a Google sheet. And it's as well I do as the State of Tennessee requires details when you certify each week for Unemployment. Outside of those few hours each morning I'm pretty much at loose ends. I've got my new used car now so I'm able to go do things if needed, thank goodness. But otherwise, I spend too much time alone watching YouTube.

Entirely too much time to think.

In filling out job applications lately I feel like I've been forced to lie in answering a common question or risk my application being thrown out altogether. Technically -- biologically -- it's not a lie, so I've done it each time. But I still feel I'm lying.

Which question? My gender.

There are usually three choices: Male, Female and "I prefer not to answer".

I'm not that naive, I know good and well if I tick #3 that my application will be automatically rejected. This is the South. That third choice is there as empty compliance to DEI regulations and with Trump in charge every company in this town knows they won't be prosecuted for discriminating against a transgender person. Or privacy violations for that matter. Or looking the other way when their fanatic MAGA HR director goes hunting "perverts" on the weekends.

I'm still biologically female, so I hit "female" on that job application question. My name is still my original female name. I've had no surgeries, so Lefty and Scooch are still riding high here on my chest. But I've never felt female a day in my life. My mind is not female. I'm not male either. The closest I can tag it is "androgyne" or "non-binary".

I don't feel right, lying for nothing but expediency. Is that any way to represent yourself to a potential new employer, lying from the git-go? This is the way the world works. It forces people to lie, to smother their authentic selves, for their survival. In Autism, we call it Masking. In Transgender, we call it Passing. Whatever you call it I've been doing it all my life, because no one has ever wanted me exactly the way I am.

I'm not even sure the full extent of who I'd be if I could be me. Surviving -- working -- taking care of myself is too imperative to risk it. I have no one else who would take care of me if something happened. Strangers can't be trusted most of the time. You never know who's hiding hatred beneath a faked smile.

So yeah, I spend a lot of time alone, worrying.

[astramthetaprime]

Feelin' Gooey

Feelin' Gooey

(to the tune of Simon & Garfunkel's "Feelin' Groovy")

Slow it down, you're oozing too fast

You've got to make the goopiness last

Just slimin' down the cobblestones

You'd better run or you'll get gooey

Hello Odo, whatcha knowin'?

Looks like your bucket's overflowin'

Ain't ya got no slime for me?

Gobble-dee-gook ya, feelin' gooey

They call me the Blob and yell about glop

I'm studied and molded and thrown with a splot

Let the morning cartoons make a hero of me

Slime I love you, all is gooey

[astramthetaprime]

And the Light goes on ...

(listening to Religion for Breakfast's ep on Tibetan Buddhism)

"Tibetan Buddhism technically falls into the Mahayana category, which basically means 'BIG vehicle that takes you to Enlightenment' ... "

(one of those hidden trapdoors pops open in my mind)

Oh OK, so Tibetan Buddhism is essentially the hippy school bus of Buddhism.

[astramthetaprime]

I Must Focus -- Hey what's that?

In today's primary example of escaping reality, I have found a new potential obsession.

It's called Meshtastic. It's an off-grid means of communication that at the moment is very much still in the "hobbyist with soldering iron" stage, though there are completely built out of the box units as well if you've got the money for it. Not that it's expensive per se -- the most finished units I've seen are around $80 USD. But I am at present in Penniless Bum mode, so the tiny circuit board with a tiny antenna attached for $25 is about my speed. Also it lets you Plug Shit In and I'm all about getting confused by enigmatic websites -- I'm here on Tumblr ain't I? There are a myriad of YouTube video tutorials featuring serious geeks with beards and one really nice Swiss guy in a bowler hat. So I figure it's a community that can handle a weird Autistic sci-fi writer of indeterminate gender.

It is a hobby that my "radio guy in the National Guard" father would most definitely have approved. Who am I kidding? Daddy would take one look at me trying to find where the antenna wire plugs in and promptly shouldered me aside to take over the build. Because that's what Dads do when their little girl attempts to Tech.

And honestly? I'd cheerfully murder a regiment with my bare hands if he could, because it means he'd be home.

So. Resisting the call of circuitry as long as I can, because $25 at the moment buys a lot of ramen and canned chicken.

[astramthetaprime]

Sigh ...

This paragon has left us.

Ozzy will be well escorted to the Other Side ...

Farewell, Professor. You made my teenage years such an adventure

[astramthetaprime]

I'm off to check for my stuff, y'all do the same.

Fanfiction Authors: HEADS UP

(Non-authors, please RB to signal boost to your author friends!)

An astute reader informed me this morning that one of my fics (Children of the Future Age) had been pirated and was being sold as a novel on Amazon:

(And they weren't even creative with their cover design. If you're going to pirate something that I spent a full year of my life writing, at least give me a pretty screenshot to brag about later. Seriously.)

I promptly filed a DMCA complaint to have it removed, but I checked out the company that put it up -- Plush Books -- and it looks like A LOT of their books are pirated fic. They are by no means the only ones doing this, either -- the fact that """publishers""" can download stories from AO3 in ebook format and then reupload them to Amazon in just a few clicks makes fic piracy a common problem. There are a whole host of reasons why letting this continue is bad -- including actual legal risk to fanfiction archives -- but basically:

IF YOU ARE A FANFIC AUTHOR WITH LONG AND/OR POPULAR WORKS, PLEASE CHECK AMAZON TO SEE IF YOUR STORIES HAVE BEEN PIRATED.

You can search for your fics by title, or by text from the description (which is often just copied wholesale from AO3 as well). If you find that someone has stolen your work and is selling it as their own, you can lodge a DMCA complaint (Amazon.com/USA site; other countries have different systems). If you haven't done this before, it's easy! Here's a tutorial:

HOW TO FILE A COPYRIGHT COMPLAINT FOR STOLEN WORK ON AMAZON.COM:

First, go to this form. You'll need to be signed into your Amazon account.

Select the radio buttons/dropdown options (shown below) to indicate that you are the legal Rights Owner, you have a copyright concern, and it is about a pirated product.

Enter the name of your story in the Name of Brand field.

In the Link to the Copyrighted Work box, enter a link to the story on AO3 or whatever site your work is posted on.

In the Additional Information box, explain that you are the author of the work and it is being sold without your permission. That's all you really need. If you want, you can include additional information that might be helpful in establishing the validity of your claim, but you don't have to go into great detail. You can simply write something like this:

I am the author of this work, which is being sold by [publisher] without my permission. I originally published this story in [date/year] on [name of site], and have provided a link to the original above. On request, I can provide documentation proving that I am the owner of the account that originally posted this story.

In the ASIN/ISBN-10 field, copy and paste the ID number from the pirated copy's URL. You'll find this ten-digit number in the Amazon URL after the word "product," as in the screenshot below. (If the URL extends beyond this number, you can ignore everything from the question mark on.) Once this number has been added, Amazon will pull the product information automatically and add it to the complaint form, so you can check the listing title and make sure it's correct.

Finally, add your contact information to the relevant fields, check the "I have read and accept the statements" box, and then click Submit. You should receive an email confirmation that Amazon has received the form.

Please share this information with your writer friends, keep an eye out for/report pirated works, and help us keep fanfiction free and legally protected!

NOTE: All of the above also applies to Amazon products featuring stolen artwork, etc., so fan artists should check too!

[astramthetaprime]

My very own custom version of RSD

One of my new year's resolutions for this year was to submit at least two stories to real publishers. I have two stories at least that I've had salted away needing only a close editing pass to tighten them up and make them submission-ready. So since I've been laid off I decided now's the time.

I got on Submission Grinder to remind myself of how to do the standard manuscript format and check Asimov's and Analog's times on answering back ... and all the sudden I'm a nervous wreck.

It took me some time to figure out why. I was afraid of turning stuff in. I was afraid of my stories being rejected.

I've been accustomed all my life to being rejected due to my AuDHD and my physical appearance, I've always been rejected for those, it's just part of the landscape. What I'm not prepared for is being rejected for my work. For the products of my intellect. For the one aspect of myself that I have always identified with the most, my mind.

Because, after all, the most qualified opinion that could weigh in on the subject of my creative work is a professional editor. My stories come from me, so if my stories aren't accepted then I am not accepted. If my stories are failures, then I am a failure.

The bugs in the bait shop are dancing a merry jig tonight, ain't they?

Still. One of the Dearest Friends asked for a print out of the story in question. And I just spent several hours on the last editing pass and formatting to standard submission format. And it does look pretty, all that nice Times New Roman and double spaced and all. I think the characters are cool and the plot is interesting and the stakes are high and the setting is rockin'. It's 13k words of hard sci-fi, and it's not every day you see hard sci-fi with a female author's name.

So I give it 50/50. We'll see.

And if not this one, the other one I have planned.

We'll see.

[astramthetaprime]

Agreed, SSL, I am working on convincing myself to send off those stories to Analog or Asimov's. I have plenty of time to write now that I'm laid off.

Also, editing. Damn you passive voice! BEGONE!

right now writing feels like wading through glue but I am viciously determined to keep going. I will kill this block.

[astramthetaprime]

Hmm ... 🤔

Isn't there a computer version where it starts the game with all the pieces randomly scattered around the board? It's a vague memory so probably from that golden idealistic age of the 1990s.

[astramthetaprime]

For you the fam and for the files.

[astramthetaprime]

Frantically taking notes ...

How about "One more time for the folks in the cheap seats ... "

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[astramthetaprime]

Guys ...

We need a break.

[astramthetaprime]

Oh it was. 35 stories tall.

And the kind if thrust that sends you to the Moon.

😉

[astramthetaprime]

Planning to do later in the week!

AUTISTIC RESEARCH PARTICIPANTS WANTED

My name is Joules Emerson, I am an autistic clinical psychology graduate student at Idaho State University. I am conducting a research study on possible factors related to suicidality in autistic adults for my master’s thesis. The purpose of the research is to evaluate how acceptance, social support, and loneliness relate to an autistic individual’s risk of suicidality. 

The study will take approximately 20 minutes.

Eligibility

Live in the United States of America or US Territories

Be proficient in English

Be 16 years old or older

Be self or clinician diagnosed with Autism OR identify as Autistic

You can participate even if there is no history of suicidality.

There is a raffle for a $50 Amazon Gift Card for those who are interested.

 Please message @isucarelab if interested!