#is it obvious that i fucking hate patton

[prodigal-explorer]

roasting side kinnies except i'm actually really mean to all of them

if you get offended easily please leave i don't wanna actually hurt anyone's feelings /g

alright now on with the show! i'm warning y'all this is gonna be so mean cuz i hate when people are like "roasting side kinnies!!" and then are super nice to all of them except their least favorite like no i believe in equality, everyone gets roasted for real here.

roman kinnies: (i'm roasting myself here) not everything is about you. please put the hero complex away, nobody cares. you're selfish as fuck and you take without giving so much that you just expect everyone else to be okay with it. if anybody messes with your makeup routine, they're a dead bitch, and honestly, that's really pathetic. no matter how much makeup you wear, you're probably gonna look even uglier than when you had none on.

logan kinnies: literally stop talking about how underrated logan is, he's not underrated anymore! everyone likes logan! you constantly need to be right all the time and you pick fights for no reason just so you can win them. we get it! you're smart! but honestly you probably aren't as smart as you think you are. half the time you just sound like the human equivalent of the nerd emoji.

virgil kinnies: please for the love of god stop talking about how you're the therapist friend. you're not. you're literally the one who dumps all your problems onto people. no actual therapist friends constantly whine about how they're the therapist friend. also please stop infantilizing yourself it's really embarrassing to watch. you're not a "smol bean" or a "tuf lil guy". also stop with the whole "janus abused virgil and it's canon" thing like it's not canon. this is sanders sides not an anime.

janus kinnies: it's okay you can just say you have no personality. because literally what is this man's personality? nothing. you think your sarcastic lil jokes are funny and that they're roasting people but they honestly make me curdle up in secondhand embarrassment. you refuse to accept that janus was in the wrong for manipulating roman, and that he totally had the middle school librarian thing coming. you just kin virgil and want to be different, i know what you are. you're a fucking aquarius (i am too).

remus kinnies: okay half of y'all aren't even remus kinnies because you guys mischaracterize him so bad. get out of here with the "poor wittle remus just wants the same treatment roman gets" like no the fuck he doesn't and roman doesn't even have it that good. also please stop spamming song lyrics we are so tired of reading the lyrics to forbidden fruit. also forbidden fruit sucks ass, someone had to say it.

patton kinnies: ah yes i saved my least favorite for last. you guys have victim complexes bigger than the catholic church. literally all of y'all are annoying as fuck but not in the cute way. in the "jesus christ please stop pretending to be an innocent angel who has never done anything bad" way. i know defending patton is your full time job because he's done so much awful shit but y'all boutta be fired because "he's trying his best" is literally not a reason come on now. it's ironic that you guys are the least sympathetic tss fans i know but also not because patton is not that sympathetic either.

[the-astrophel-system]

disclaimer that i have no access to the writers room on patreon.

but i hate hate hate that it feels like thomas lost one of his best writers (joan) and then decided to make up for it, by making the fandom write the script. we see it with the incorrect quotes, we see it with the 5 year special, we saw it with the lastest christmas asides, i know there are other examples too. and im sure we'll see it in the finale.

thomas has tried so hard to pander to what he thinks the audience wants, those fans who want their perfect little ideas to be canon. they've both ruined the series. i used to like the little cute moments that you could run with and make a ship from (e.g, first you take her by the hand (even tho i hated that one at the time, i gotta say its so funny now), elementary my dear daddy, the entire virgil and logan debate, etc etc). but now it is so goddamn obvious who the "canon" ships are. its exhausting.

this series would've been so much better if thomas had the confidence to write a story without feeling the need to cater everything to the audience. we loved the original videos where it was fun and lovely and tackled some hard conversations. not turning the sides into one dimensional innocent babies who make a mockery of the original videos. yes the conversations are going to be mature as the audience grows up, but you're still acting like "oh im logan and i like jam", "oh im janus and i like wine", and "oh im patton and im so innocent" is fucking funny. its not. (even though svs redux didn't necessarily have these examples, i still heavily disliked the episode because of how it played out).

i feel like too many ideas and wants have been pushed in thomas' face, and i dont blame him. if everyone was shouting at me that my original characters have to end up together, or they must fit these tight little boxes, id get overwhelmed and want to give up. obviously thomas doesn't want to do that (even though he pretty much has at this point) so instead hes dragging things out and effectively making everyone else write the episodes for him.

just some thoughts.

[toxicincestenjoyer-fig]

I'm noticing as I go through the tag that remrom is very sweet which is not at all what I was expecting.

Like Remus is the embodiment of Intrusive Thoughts, he has no qualms about saying what's on his mind, and he can easily figure out what exactly you hate whether about yourself, others or both. He's pretty damn good at getting a reaction out of the other sides too, he's almost childish in the way he enjoys testing the others.

Then there's Roman, the man is insecure. He's easy to lead on if you feed into his ego but as the ego he's also easily bruised. He's desperate to feel valuable, when Janus buttered him up he had such a hard time not giving in because the others rarely play to his pride so much. Yet he despises Janus, more so he despises the concept of the dark sides(A concept that he made up), likely because he knows he's egocentric and selfish as hell, things that C!Thomas's morals say are bad. As the dashing prince he's supposed to be a beacon of good in the world, the fact that he's so often so close to those he deems to be the 'Dark Sides' in behavior disturbs him. It hurts his black and white view of the world and as the ego he can't let that world view get shattered because that world view literally informs his identity, C!Thomas's identity.

Then you bring in Remus, Remus who already knows all of that. Who knows exactly what makes Roman tick and unlike Roman doesn't have the insecurities(As far as I can tell). And unlike the other sides who merely play the roles of a family(Patton as the dad is the most obvious but also that thing with like the cousin aunt mom friend group assigned family roles type deal) he and Roman are ATCUAL siblings, twins no less! Reflections of eachother and he knows that Roman hates what he sees. Remus doesn't though, Remus doesn't care about his image. He just enjoys the reactions he can get out of others.

Each side has unique reactions to his 'contributions' but no one else reacts quite like Roman. Even Virgil tends to simply regard him with disgust. Roman reacts to him like an insult. To Roman Remus's very existence is an act of violence against his character and he HATES it. He takes things so personally and he's so reactive.

I dunno, I kinda expected there would be more Remus manipulating and fucking with Roman. They're siblings, Roman doesn't like Remus and Remus is literally Intrusive Thoughts. There's a lot there, like how one of the most common types of Intrusive Thoughts are those of incest.

Remus would have no problem making a few sexual jokes about him and Roman and it'd get to Roman every time. I can imagine Roman chasing Remus around the mind place with his sword after one of his jokes. One of the sides tries to calm him down after they lose eachother, reminding him that 'Its okay, what Remus says has no real impact. Its just nonsense.' and Roman gets that, like he understands that but it doesn't stop the humiliation he experiences every time it happens, the way it damages his image to even have the thought of doing something like that with his brother?!

Roman almost certainly has taboo desires as well, almost certainly not about his brother but that doesn't change the fact that Remus loves to bring them up all the time. None of the other sides know that Remus is airing out Roman's dirty laundry, only them two. And Remus knows that whenever Roman thinks about those taboo desires of his that he deems to be so wretched he knows he'll be imagining Remus as the subject of them, after all, that's exactly how Intrusive Thoughts works. The more Roman tries to expel Remus out of his life the easier it is for him to stick around. Logically he knows that its not helping, that his disdain for Remus is only gonna make the thoughts worse but that's the issue isn't it? When the thoughts in your head are attacking your morals, your integrity, your ego, there's only so much logic can help before one's emotions get the better of them.

And Roman is very emotional.

[crescentrivers]

Remembered I still like Sanders Sides (seriously though it’s a great webseries) but the Hatchetfeild brainworms are consuming anything else (downside of a special interest) so here’s which lord in black each side would be associated with/which lord in black would mess with them/maybe even which lord in black they’d follow in a crossover au + overly detailed explanations

Under the cut cause this got long

Roman- funny how both my previous and my current special interest have a Roman in them. Roman Sanders is a much better person though fuck you Roman Murray /hj. Anyway I think this Roman would be associated with Pokotho. More in a “Roman would get tricked into following him way” than in a “Pokey would want to mess with him” way. In terms of punching bags Pokers seems to go for the people who hate his deal the most and Roman is a theatre kid so. Already not one of the people who hate his deal the most. Okay but actual reason Pokotho has a big thing with conformity, mind control, giving up your real indentity to one singular voice and Roman is known to conform. Trying to be the perfect “good” creativity and turning against Janus mostly because his friends didn’t trust him. Also again, theater kid. So yeah in this hypothetical crossover au there’s probably a timeline where Roman becomes a Pokotho prophet. I can also see him swinging Wiggly though, wanting to be adored kinda like Linda in Black Friday. But I think he’s closer to Pokey in most ways.

Logan- Bliklotep or Pokotho. Okay so most obvious thing for Blinky is eyes, Blinky has a lot of them and Logan either is the orange side or is dealing with the orange side, the mysterious unrevealed character that made his eyes go orange that one time. But on a deeper level in Watcher World Blinky uses Alice and Bills’ conflict against them, trying to make them angrier so he can watch them fight. I can see a similar situation with Logan playing out in this au where the gang goes to Watcher World and Logan’s anger over being ignored is used against him. And if Orange and Logan end up not being the same person (which I stand by that theory) Orange using Logan’s anger against him to cause conflict within the light sides is actually just something I can see happening in the show.

For Pokotho it’s well, if you asked me to make a TGWDLM SaSi crossover Logan would be Paul. He’s the side with the least interest in theatre (I’m not sure if it’s really a dislike though) and while he lacks the panic Paul has for most of TGWDLM and isn’t as much of a normal guy tm I think he fits very well. Let It Out is SUCH a Logan song you don’t even get it like imagine that song but with him and Orange hshshgshshshshshsh I NEED TO MAKE AN ANIMATIC OF IT. Also like back to the ignoring thing can you imagine like “Aren’t you tired of being ignored Logan? Don’t you want to be the star of the show?” I’m going insane. If we’re just putting Logan in the Hatchetfeild universe I think he’s still more Blinky leaning but a SaSi x TGWDLM au with him as Paul would go very hard.

Patton- probably the one in the least sure on so luckily he doesn’t need as long of a paragraph. He’s just so nice I can’t really see him being singled out by any of them but he also isn’t nice in a way where he has Webby vibes so I’m just lost with him. I think either Blinky cause I can see him in a similar situation to Bill in Watcher World or Tinky cause I feel like out of all the sides Patton is the most likely to try to time travel to change or revisit the past and than get boxed because of it.

Virgil- none of them!!! Well at least none of them in particular. Why you ask? Well I think he’d be associated with Webby. Okay listen, if I had a nickel for every time my special interest involved a character associated with spiders that either left or was abandoned by the main antagonist group depending on your theories and became a good guy, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice. Do I need to explain further than that? Obviously Virgil’s situation isn’t nearly as severe as Webby’s and the dark sides are much more redeemable sympathetic villains compared to the lords in bright ass neons black, but my point still stands. Virgil works with Webby which means various horrors have it out for him instead of any specific one!!! Yayyyyyy

Janus- another hard one to place. I’d say he’d work with Wiggly most likely. Basically capitalism/greed (though the greed thing could also have him going more on the Nibbly route with like selfishness desire stuff or even like unrelated he could work for Pokey cause like mind control/manipulation isn’t that much of a stretch from his character, it is a stretch I’m lying to myself) and idk he has the vibes where I feel like he’d work with the lord in black himself and not just one of his brothers. Idk he has Wilbur Cross vibes kind of not really? (it’s the green apples) The thing is Janus still doesn’t hit quite the same level of evil as most antagonistic Hatchetfeild characters do but there’s no way this guy wouldn’t be caught up in something in a crossover au, so maybe he made a deal with them but doesn’t fully worship them. Idek what this post is anymore.

Remus- Hard to place because he’s just such a freak (derogatory) that he kind of just has general cultist vibes (I know there are plenty of freaks in Hatchetfeild completely unconnected to the lords but Remus would be the kind of freak that is connected imo) but if I had to pick I’d say either Wiggly or Nibbly. Wiggly doesn’t have much reason, they just both insane people associated with the color green, royalty, and tentacles. Nibbly does have an explanation kind of. He’s like the god of desire kind of and I think in analysis of how he’s connected to stuff (think Grace in NPMD) that kind of leads to lust associations? Which yeah fits Remus. I can see him working for Nibbly or going insane cause of him (does Nibbly even do that? Does he do things that don’t involve eating people? What even is this post) honestly I don’t really know for him I’m just saying words, would really depend on his role in this hypothetical au

Bonus: c!Thomas- honestly I don’t know for him but dare I say Pokotho. Cause A. Him and Paul don’t really act alike but they both have that panicking normal guy tm energy as protagonists. B. He’s a theatre kid. C. Idk I think it would be screwed up if the guy who the entire show centers around the mind of lost control of his mind and had his entire being warped (infection) 👍

[starlocked01]

Your Average Petty Sinner

AO3 link (pending)

Summary- Patton goes through an Emo phase and decides to hang out with the most notorious kids at school, going so far as to try to date their leader.

Relationships- Janus&Patton (Moceit), Remus/Virgil (Dukexiety)

Word Count- 5.4k

Content Warnings- swearing, mild description of injury, mild sexual innuendos

This is my @sanderssidesgiftxchange gift for @lily-janus 💛💙 I really hope you like it! Also a shout out to @infinitesimal-dna for beta reading and putting up with my shenanigans.

“I just don't get it!” Patton frantically paced the small patch of faded pale blue carpet that was visible in his cluttered room, “I literally caught them with cigarettes and lighters in the bathroom- how did they weasel out of detention this time?”

Roman barely looked up from the script in his hand as he lounged on Patton’s bed, “I don't know. Remus didn't say when Mom picked us up. They weren't going to hurt anyone but themselves.”

“Lighters start fires- they could have caused a fire alarm and some freshman could have been trampled in the ensuing panic while the science wing burned down-” Patton whipped back to face Roman who remained unperturbed. 

“And none of that happened. You saved the day, Padre. Why can't you just be happy about that?”

“Because they didn't get in trouble!” Patton crossed his arms tight over his chest and resumed his pacing, “why turn in the bad kids if they're just going to be let go?”

“Sounds like you want to put my brother in jail,” Roman snickered and briefly looked up, “I don't know why. Why do you snitch on them?” Roman countered

Patton bit down hard on his lip before taking a measured breath, “I am not snitching. They just keep breaking the rules in front of me.”

“I think you just want Janus to notice you. Trust me, he does, sweetie. Remus won't stop complaining about how much the goodie two shoes need to fu- leave them alone,” Roman replies, remembering too late the household ban on swears.

“SHH! Don’t let Mom hear you.” Patton whispered tersely, “you’re wrong. I don’t care what any of them think about me– especially not Janus.”

Roman snorted, “Yeah, right. That’s why you’re constantly tattling on him. Didn’t anyone ever tell you that when a boy’s mean to you that means he likes you?”

Patton stopped in his tracks and turned back to face Roman, “That’s… completely untrue.”

Roman rolled his eyes, flipping a page lazily, “Just keep telling yourself that, Padre. I bet if you just asked he’d go out with you.”

“I’m not gay and I don’t want to go out with him,” Patton countered, “will you please just be quiet? My mom would kick you out in two seconds for being a quote ‘bad influence’ if she heard you right now.”

“Mmm fine. Alright. I won’t talk about your obvious crush on Mr. Tall, Dark and Mysterious.”

“I am not- Why don’t you understand that not everyone has to like guys?” 

Roman sat up, “I’m not saying everyone. I just know you, Patt. You don’t like girls. You’ve turned down like twenty of them since homecoming last year. So if you don’t like girls, that just leaves guys. I know you don’t feel comfortable bringing a bf home because of the witch, but you’ve at least got to let yourself consider the possibility.”

“Maybe I just haven’t met the right girl,” Patton replied, not sounding as convincing as he should have to shut down the conversation.

Roman chuckled, “sure. Because she’s actually a boy named Janus and you’re looking in the wrong places.”

“Roman!”

“Just ask him!”

“He hates me. And I don’t like him.”

“You absolutely fucking do!”

“Roman!” Patton hissed, flinching as he could hear his mother’s footsteps coming down the hallway. “Now you’ve done it-” he muttered as the bedroom door clicked and swung open.

“Patton, sweetie. What’s our rule for having friends over?” his mother asked from the door, a falsely sweet and disarming voice cutting through the tension of the argument.

Patton turned, “they need to follow house rules and not distract from school work…”

“That’s right. If I’m not mistaken, I believe I heard Mr. Prince here swearing. That is no way to speak to others, is it?” 

“No, ma’am,” Patton replied, head hung in defeat. 

She turned towards Roman, “Exactly. I’m sorry dear, but you need to leave and reevaluate your vocabulary and manners if you want to spend time with my son.”

“Sorry, Patt,” Roman murmured as he grabbed his backpack and walked past to leave, “tomorrow. Just do it.” 

Patton sighed with exasperation, “Please, Mom, let him stay? He didn’t mean to-”

“You know the rules, Patton. I think it’s about time you got started on your homework,” she brushed him off, escorting Roman out to the front door. 

Patton waited until he heard the front door shutting before closing his bedroom door to get started on his work, trying to tune out his racing thoughts about school. 

___ ___ ___

 Janus slumped against the lockers, ignoring the dirty look from Susan next to him when he accidentally shut hers for her. It wasn’t his fault her locker was so close to Virgil’s. He gripped the head of his cane to keep it from sliding into the throng of students that would trample and crack it without a second thought. The polished wooden cane had cost a fortune, stained black with a yellow snake carved around the shaft up to the handle. He'd refused to adopt a medical-looking metal bully magnet and protected his aide fiercely. Janus silently watched Virgil picking out text books for the next class.

“What a bitch, right?” he asked once Virgil had noticed him. 

Virgil nodded sagely, “Yeah. Who’re we talking about this time?”

Janus smirked, “Mrs. Hansen, of course. It’s like she doesn’t even care that I don’t give a fuck about Physics.”

“She held you after class again? That bitch!” Virgil gaped, closing his locker, “that is so messed up. You should tell the VP that she’s not respecting your accommodations, right?”

“Like he ever cared the twenty thousand other times someone tried to make life harder,” Janus scoffed, glancing at the disturbance coming down the hallway and opting not to warn Virgil.

With all the subtlety of a tornado, Janus watched as Remus pinned Virgil to the lockers, dropping his backpack at Janus’ feet in his hurry to get hands on the boy. Virgil grunted in surprise, pushing back against the attack until he recognized the lips pressed harshly into his neck.

“Rem-! Oh my god!” Virgil laughed breathlessly, “I told you not at school, motherfucker!”

Remus looked up with a devious grin, “and? Your mother said she loved it.”

“Gross,” Virgil chuckled and pulled his boyfriend into a tight hug, “I missed you.”

Janus rolled his eyes, pushing the discarded backpack away with the tip of his cane, “It’s been all of an hour since you two last molested each other in front of the entire school.”

“Jealous, Jannie?”

“Utterly green with envy,” Janus sighed, noticing the crowd in the hall thinning rapidly, “are you done playing tongue hockey yet?”

“Never,” Remus laughed and turned back to Virgil, cutting off his protests with a filthy kiss.

“I’m honestly surprised you haven’t figured out how to make gay love babies yet,” Janus replied, carefully readjusting his treasured suede gloves. The crowds of students dissipated and doors shut as the bell for the next period rang through the now empty halls.

Janus nudged the pair, “Biology will have to wait. Let's get going.”

“Oh come on!” Remus whined, “just tell Mr. Sawan you got held back and we're helping you-”

“It's not a lie for once,” Virgil added, leaning down to grab Remus' bag.

“And they say I'm the bad influence,” Janus scoffed, grabbing his cane to start towards class. Virgil and Remus reluctantly followed, careful to give him space to walk. 

Janus wasn't actually eager to get to class. Everyone always stared when he walked in late, despite arriving late by necessity every day. The scrutiny felt absolutely miserable. 

As they neared the stairs down to the mathematics wing, Janus paused to let the couple go first. The last thing he wanted was to slip all the way down into a concussion.

“Hey!” A voice called loudly from down the hall, “aren't you supposed to be in class?”

Janus glanced over and swore quietly at the sight of the world's most annoying goody two shoes coming towards them.

“Patton. Where do you think we're going?” He asked in a lazy drawl.

“Yeah, calm your tits,” Remus added less than helpfully.

Patton frowned, glancing down at his chest for a brief moment, “I don't have- the bell rang five minutes ago. You're supposed to be in class. I bet you're out here trying to smoke and ditch class.”

“How? You stole my lighter yesterday,” Virgil snarked back, arms crossed tightly over his chest.

“It’s against school policy-” Patton started.

“What's against policy is a student trying to police other students. I literally cannot walk the halls when everyone else is running around,” Janus spoke up, standing up straighter. “We'd have made it by now if you hadn't interrupted us.”

“You liar. You're just messing around to get out of class,” Patton accused, stepping closer as if to intimidate Janus.

He laughed, “we have this discussion once a week! If I didn't know better, I would think you're going out of your way to flirt with me.”

An inscrutable look passed over Patton’s face, freckles melting into a soft flustered blush. “I am not!” Patton whispered hoarsely.

“Then we'll just be on our way,” Janus sneered, starting down the first step, cane first.

“Hey!” Patton gasped, reaching for Janus’s shoulder. Janus flinched at the unexpected touch, shifting to toss Patton as far from him as possible.

Unfortunately, this sent the boy careening down the flight of stairs.

��Shit!” Janus exclaimed,  watching in horror and slight mesmerism as Patton came to a halt on the first landing.

“You killed him!” Remus cackled with glee at the possibility.

“Jan- what the fuck?” Virgil asked, not sure if he should move to help Patton or not.

Janus glanced down the hall, and seeing no one, made his decision.

“Virgil, help me get him to the nurse.” he instructed. “Remus, get to class and tell them Virgil and I cannot make it. Give as little context as possible, got it?”

Remus nodded and hurried to the class.

Janus hurried down the steps as fast as he could manage to the place Patton lay on the stairs.

“Wh- why?” Patton murmured, cradling his shoulder, “I- I wasn't-”

“Next time don't touch people without permission,” Janus snapped, reaching to pick  Patton up, “can you walk?”

“I- I think so?” Patton winced, trying to sit up with both of the others pulling him up, “d-don't pull my arm, please.”

Janus nodded, “right, let's go, before you die or something.”

“Good going, Jan,” Virgil groaned as Patton leaned more heavily against him.

“Shut it, Vi. I didn't do anything.”

The walk down the rest of the stairs and to the nurse's office felt impossibly long and arduous, as Patton moved slower than even Janus. And he moaned in pain at each jostle to his arm.

“You're going to be okay,” Virgil chewed at his cheek, “it wasn't that bad of a fall.”

“I- I hope so,” Patton murmured, “why are the bad kids helping me?”

Janus rolled his eyes, “who said we're bad?”

“I- you always get in trouble,” Patton tried to explain.

“Yeah. Because you're always trying to get us in trouble,” Virgil scoffed.

“I don't expect you to understand, Patton,” Janus stopped as they reached the nurse’s office, “ but sometimes people just don't think like you.”

Patton nodded then tried to walk into the office, “thanks, I guess.”

Janus rolled his eyes, turning to head back to class, only to be confronted with the imposing figure of the school vice principal.

“What's this, then?”

“Oh- sir, I can explain,” Janus offered hastily.

“You will,” the man nodded, pointing towards his office, “If you please, Mr. Shephard.”

Virgil fiddled with his sleeves, “It was completely an accident. We were just helping Patton.”

“He fell down the stairs after slipping on a spilled water bottle,” Janus protested, already tired of walking, “I think he hit his head so we didn't want to leave him alone before he could get over here.”

“I see,” the man eyed the two, “is that so?”

“Yes. That's what happened.” Janus nodded emphatically. He watched the disciplinarian's face to see if he bought the story.

“Get to your class,” the vice principal barked, and the two wasted no time disappearing down the hallway.

___ ___ ___

Patton stirred and sat gingerly up in bed. A needle of pain shot through his shoulder at the weight pressed on it. 

“Oh- f-”

“Patton!” His mother stood at the door to his room with a sour look on her face.

“I was going to say ‘fudge’,” Patton gritted his teeth.

“Honestly, when did I raise such a delinquent?” She shook her head and barged her way in, “bullying other students and now swearing? Certainly nothing I taught you.”

“Mom!”

“I won't hear it. Luckily, some of your classmates collected your homework assignments for you. Behave yourself with them,” she scolded.

“I'm not a bully,” Patton muttered, gazing up at the ceiling as though the stucco could offer him the strength to endure her accusations.

“For the record, no one said you were but her. I don’t know why she thinks that,” Patton looked back to the door sharply, finding his mother replaced with Virgil standing slouched against the frame, a book bag slung over one shoulder. “Hey- I hope it's okay I- let's not worry about how I knew your address. How… are.. you?”

“I've been better. The doctor poked and prodded me a lot yesterday.” 

“Yikes…”

Patton nods, “I’ll be back in school by Monday. Unless I go completely loopy in the head. But I think the sprain in my shoulder is worse. Is Janus okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. He was tired from all the running around but like.. I don’t think he’s mad at you, if that’s what you’re worried about,” Virgil glanced back to the door before leaning closer to ask, “is she always like that?”

Patton nodded, “yeah… that’s my mom for you.”

Virgil swung his bag onto the bed, “alright, well, I’ve got your homework for the classes you missed.. And I thought you might like some music to pass the time? It’s the kind I listen to when I get really upset,” Virgil explained with a pointed look as he pulled a disk in a clear cover out of the bag with the school books, “just.. Let me know what you think if you do. I’m really sorry about what happened.”

“It’s not your fault, Virge-” Patton shook his head and then winced, “thank you, though.”

“No worries. I- uh.. Look forward to seeing you..? Yeah. Get better soon.”

Patton watched as Virgil exited his bedroom, confused why he of any of the kids at school brought him make up work. He examined the CD, turning it to read the sharpie writing, a list of songs with artists listed in incomprehensible initials. He turned the case over, noticing a small piece of paper tucked under the CD inside the case. Intrigued, he pried the case open and popped the CD out, laying it on the blanket. He retrieved the small folded paper from his lap, carefully picking it apart. 

I didn’t push you down the stairs. I also did not try to help you after you tripped. If you tell anyone I did, I won’t hesitate to make you regret it. -J

Patton frowned, confused by the note. He tossed it aside and pulled out his portable CD player to listen to the mixtape without his mom listening in. He laid back, letting the beats and melodies wash over him. As he listened, an idea started to form, one of which he was barely conscious.

___ ___ ___

“Are you insane?” Roman stared far more openly than other students in the hall. Patton shrugged and pushed past his friend to his locker.

“I’m just trying something new,” Patton replied, hanging his backpack up and picking out books for the first class. He tried very hard to not express frustration when the bookbag caught on the spikes sticking out of one of his many new bracelets. 

“You look ridiculous. You hate black! What is going on?” 

“I can wear whatever I want, Ro. You sound like my mother right now.” 

That shut Roman’s protests up quickly. Patton hummed to himself, reaching into the bag to pull out a brand new makeup pallet made of browns and blacks, picking the darkest shade to dab onto his eyelids.

“How hard did you hit your head?” Roman asked, staring in even more shock and disbelief. 

“My head is fine, Roman. I told you I’m trying something new,” Patton explained.

“Oh Hey! When did you get hot, Pat-Pat?” Remus yelled, dragging Virgil behind him from down the hall.

“Woah- Patton, are you okay?” Virgil asked as they reached him and Roman at the lockers. 

“Looks like Jannie knocked some sense into him. Hot damn!” Remus leered, earning a smack on the shoulder from Virgil and Roman. 

“Guys, I am fine. I promise. I wanted to see how my mom would take it,” Patton offers, not so subtly searching the halls.

“Right. Suuuuuuure,” Remus giggled, “just remember that Virgie is mine,” he snaps playfully, “I don’t share and I certainly don’t do threesomes.” Remus winked, sending a shiver of disgust running down Patton’s spine. “Congrats, baby emo.”

“If you need to talk or something,” Virgil managed to offer before getting swept away by Remus.

Roman sighed, “Seriously, do you want to talk?”

“I’ll be fine, Ro. I’m still me. I just... I don’t know. It felt right this morning,” Patton offers as explanation.

“Well, you know where to find me. And if this is some ploy to get Janus to like you- it won’t work-” 

“I don’t care if he likes me,” Patton protests, “this isn’t about him.”

“It’s not?” Janus asked in a smooth voice, standing behind Patton as if he appeared there from thin air.

“Janus!” Patton whipped around, “how- when did you- um, hi.” he stammered.

Roman laughed and clapped Patton on the shoulder, “good luck, Romeo. See you at lunch.” He walked away still laughing as Patton blushed and tried to shake the teasing off.

Janus watched curiously. He certainly would never have predicted that Patton would show up in an all black pretend-emo costume. Amazing really how people could still surprise him. 

“I promise that Roman doesn’t know what he’s talking about-” Patton tried to recover his composure.

“He never does. Poor Remus got all the interesting and useful brains,” Janus sighed, examining his gloved hand nonchalantly. “Even if this were some ploy for my attention, I wouldn’t be interested just because you changed clothes and painted your nails.”

“That implies you would be interested in different circumstances,” Patton pointed out.

“Would I? I never said that. You understood my message, right?” Janus asked, changing topics quickly.

Patton nodded, “I- yes, I understood. You didn’t have to threaten me. Everyone thinks I broke my head and wouldn’t believe me saying either thing.” 

“Correct. No use spreading rumors,” Janus smirked.

“Janus?” 

“What?” 

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” Patton asked quietly.

Janus took a moment to think over the question, “Why are you asking me?”

“Because I think you’re probably the person I’ve hurt the most.”

Janus laughed, “Oh please. Like you could hurt me. Since when do you care about my opinions?”

“I don’t know- I’m really trying something new here, Janus.” Patton worried his lip between his teeth. 

“I see. I notice,” Janus nodded and turned to head towards class.

“Janus? Do I… seem like I have a crush on you?”

Janus stopped in his tracks, turning back slowly, “Do you have one?”

Patton shrugged his one good shoulder, “Roman says I must have one. I’m not sure. How do I figure it out?”

Janus studied the black clad teen he would have sworn had it out for him just two days ago. Who was he to answer this kind of question? And why wouldn’t he just ask Roman, the prince of failed relationships?

“I don’t know. Go on a date with me?” Janus was just as surprised at the words leaving his lips as Patton looked hearing them.

“Wait- really?”

“Yes. We can go out tonight. No need to make it formal. Just black, not black tie.” Janus nodded. It surprised him just how calm and collected he felt, proposing a romantic time together. 

Patton hummed, “um.. I assume Virgil… gave you my address,” he replied diplomatically, “would you be able to pick me up.”

“Yes. 9 o’clock?”

Patton nodded, “yeah, that works. I’ll see you then?”

Janus smiled just a bit mischievously, “yes, you will. Good luck in school today. Everyone is going to notice.”

“Notice what?” Patton asked.

“This.” Janus smirked and leaned forward, planting a lipstick stained kiss on Patton’s cheek, turning to leave just as the first bell rang out. 

Patton stood frozen like a deer, slowing reaching up to touch his cheek, “oh, shit-”

___ ___ ___

“Uh, Jannie?”

“Yes, Remus?”

“Where the fuck are we going?” Remus asked, hanging on the back of Janus’ seat.

Janus inhaled slowly, “We’re picking up my date for tonight.”

“Since when do you date?” Virgil asked, lounging in the back seat and scrolling on his phone.

“Since this morning,” Janus answered, “You two just made it look so fun I had to give it a try.”

“Ooooooooh,” Remus absolutely beamed, “so who’s the lucky virgin?”

“Come on, Re. Don’t assume,” Virgil chided, trying to pull his boyfriend back to the back seat. “Wait- I recognize this street-”

“Just shut up,” Janus growled, “You’re the ones who wanted me to date. He’s harmless and might even like me.”

“So you’re trying to go out with the guy who made our lives hell for over a year?” Virgil asked.

“I’m not being some sort of saint, I’m just curious about what Patton’s going through.”

“I’ll cancel the wedding bells,” Remus cackled as they pulled up to the door. The headlights swept over the porch, revealing Patton sitting outside in the dark. He popped up, rushing over to the passenger side of the car.

“Hey Janus- and… Virgil and Remus? What?” Patton squinted at the couple in the back seat, “is this.. A double date?”

“Somewhat. Get in,” Janus commanded, ignoring the snickering from the back seat. 

Patton climbed in and sat down, confused but not about to back out now. Not when Roman would roast him for failing to go on the first date he’s ever been asked out on. Janus pulled out of the driveway and continued on in relative quiet.

“So… where are we going?” Patton asked, a little too bright for his dark exterior. 

“You’ll see,” Janus replied cryptically.

Patton nodded and fell silent, watching the road slip by as they drove along.

“Woof. The chemistry is just bubbling,” Remus snarked after a few minutes of quiet, sitting back to cuddle into Virgil.

Virgil laughed softly, “give them time. I’m sure it’s just first date awkwardness.” He wrapped his arms around Remus and held him close.

Janus turned down a residential street and flicked off the headlights, “Well, Patton, since you’re exploring new countercultures, I figured it would be a good idea to bring you along to a protest.”

“A protest? At night?” Patton asked, fear glinting in his eyes, “what kind of protest?”

“One against ableism in the education system,” Virgil grinned, grabbing cartons of eggs from the floor of the back seat.

“Yeah! We’re gonna show that bitch what it feels like!” Remus crowed, opening the door before Janus could put the car in park and banging impatiently on the trunk. Virgil piled out as well as Janus parked and grabbed the latch to open the trunk for them. 

“This… is illegal, isn’t it?” Patton worried, glancing around the street to see if they had been spotted yet.

“Very.” Janus nodded, “but, lucky us that the Virus have the dirty work covered. We’re just lookouts tonight. Mrs. Hansen has been violating my disability accommodations. That makes my life harder when I end up missing the beginning of class because of the crowds in the hallway. So we’re making her morning a bit harder.”

“Oh.. that’s why you three were in the hallway during class time the other day?” Patton asked, voice softening at the realization.

“Yes. Sometimes we wait until after the bell anyway but she still shouldn’t be holding me back like that,” Janus explained.

“I’m sorry- I didn’t realize that,” Patton offered quietly, wincing as Remus started chucking raw eggs at the car in the driveway.

“Relax, Patton. They’re just letting off steam. I swear they would have burned the school down by now if I didn’t try to aim them at productive activities,” Janus chuckled, glancing down the road for any observers.

“Right. So… this is a date… why don’t you tell me about yourself?” Patton turned in his seat to face Janus. 

Janus slowly turned his head, “what do you want to know?”

“Um, I’m not sure. I’ve never done this before,” Patton laughed nervously, “maybe… when did you know that you’re gay?”

Janus snorted at that, “I still don’t know. You’re the first boy I’ve tried to date. You’d think hanging out around the twins would make that sort of question easy, right?”

“Right! Like, I’ve known Roman really well for years and he sure seems to know… some of what he wants. But I just don’t know how he understands what a crush is versus wanting to be friends.”

“Those two make it seem like you meet someone and suddenly they’re the only thought in your head ever,” Janus nodded to the couple who were busy laying out toilet paper strips in the shape of a penis on the hood of the car, “I’ve never understood it.” 

“Do you.. Feel that way about me?” Patton asks, “since you’re the one who asked me out.”

“Frankly, I find your change of aesthetic rather intriguing. And you seem willing to challenge some of your bullshit ideas right now, so why not?” Janus shrugs, “maybe I just want attention and don’t give a fuck about who you are. You can never know.”

Patton looked down towards his hands, folded neatly in his lap, “I think I’ve been jealous of you all.”

“How so? You seemed adamant about reporting us to the school like a narc for the past year,” Janus challenged.

“Because things like egging teacher’s houses and smoking in the hallways can cause problems for people! But, I do like how you all express yourselves.”

“Really?”

“Right. You just… get to be weird and stand out in classes. You get away with a disturbing amount of rule breaking. It seems really freeing,” Patton sighed softly, “Maybe I’m thinking about it wrong. I’ve just always felt terrified of disappointing people, and in just one day I’ve been able to disappoint almost everyone.”

“So, you’re just dressing emo to make people upset, not to express yourself?”

“I mean- maybe partially?” Patton shrugged, “I never knew you all were this criminal-”

“Patton-”

“And… I think it’s maybe hot that you all stand up for yourselves despite what people think of you?” Patton says shyly, more of a question than an opinion.

“I didn’t bring you along to impress you with like that-”

“No?”

“I thought giving Virgil and Remus a target would give us some time alone,” Janus explains.

“Time  alone to do what?” Panton leaned a bit closer.

“What we’re doing now, talking.”

“That’s all you wanted to do with me?” Patton asked, head tilted a bit.

“Did you want to kiss me?” 

“Patton-”

Patton leaned in even closer until the backdoor slammed open, sending him scrambling back to his seat, blushing bright red.

“Drive- Neighbor might be calling the cops.” Remus replied, out of breath.

Virgil nodded and Janus jumped into action to get away from the crime scene. 

“Looked like a productive date,” Remus teased as Janus slowed back down to avoid suspicion.

“Wow what a rush!” Patton exclaimed. 

“Adrenaline wasn’t the point,” Janus reminded him, “Are you two ready to head home?”

“Yeah, Remus’ please,” Virgil nods.

Remus spent the car ride back to his place giving the lookouts a play by play of the night, with Virgil interjecting with certain facts and figures.. Janus soon dropped the pair off and the silence settled between him and Patton. 

“I just… you guys get away with bad behavior all the time. I wish I could do that the same as you,” Patton spoke up eventually.

Janus sighed and pulled the car over again, this time near a park, “Do you even care about why we do that stupid shit?”

“Well, tonight was about getting back at Mrs. Hansen, right? For treating you badly,” Patton recalled.

“And skipping class is because it’s too overwhelming to sit still learning useless crap with a bunch of jerks who know nothing about what it’s like to try and navigate when your feet don’t just take you to where you need to go. They don’t care that it hurts to walk and it’s just safer to take my time with friends by my side to catch me.”

“I-”

“You just see me as some bad boy to upset people with. You don’t care how I feel about it, do you?” Janus challenged.

“That’s not true-” Patton tried to protest. 

“I’m not some average petty sinner to disappoint your family with at the holidays. I actually have feeling and wants and needs and I just- I-”

Patton reached over to take one of Janus’ hands, “It’s okay. I-I didn’t want to use you, Janus. Not in the long run. Sure, I wanted to experiment and see if Roman’s right about crushes, but I don’t want to trap you in a relationship you won’t enjoy. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Janus looked away, trying to pull his hand free.

“Just remember that you asked me out tonight. So, I thought that kisses were something you’re supposed to do on dates. Can we try again without interruptions this time? See if… well, if we’ll like that sort of thing?”

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Yes, yes I am. You are not a manic pixie dream boy or the dangerous rebel to scare my mom with. You’re Janus. And I don’t know you very well because I’ve never tried to get to know you. But we’re on a date. It’s past curfew. I think you at least deserve a chance at something properly romantic, since defacing property was just the distraction to keep Remus and Virgil busy. It’s too late to get food anywhere. So maybe we can try a kiss and start over again in the morning?”

Janus blinked, trying to process all of that at once. “Um… no.”

“No?” Patton sat back immediately, “did I do something wrong?”

“Not necessarily, I just… you asking makes it very clear to me that I don’t want to kiss you, Patton.” Janus tried to explain.

Patton nodded, “okay. I- actually, thank you? I- I was so scared…”

Janus chuckled softly, “I don’t think we’re crushing on each other. I’m not sure why not. But I’m glad you agree.” 

Patton nodded emphatically this time, “I very much don’t want to be the awkward one. I think… it would feel wrong or empty to try. And that’s not your fault-”

“I get it. I agree. We tried. Dating just… isn’t in our cards,” Janus laughed a bit more at that, “let me take you home?”

“Yes please. Maybe at school… we can just say hi?”

“That would be much more pleasant.”

Patton sighed softly and leaned back in the passenger seat, “I won’t tell about the eggs and toilet paper, by the way. Maybe I should ask Mrs. Hansen why she’s not letting you leave for class on time?”

Janus smiled, “That could be helpful. Maybe she just needs to see one of the responsible students concerned on our behalf.”

“Would have been a lot less illegal if you just asked me to do that in the first place,” Patton giggled, “It makes more sense than vandalism.”

“But throwing trash at her house is fun,” Janus grins, starting the car again.

“It may be fun. But there are much better outlets for the anger, I would think.” Patton grinned.

“Maybe you’ll be a good acquaintance after all,” Janus mused, pulling back out onto the road to take his definitely-not-a-date back home.

[thatonelesbianfander]

Ranking the Sanders Sides characters cause I'm bored

I'm bored so here's my ranking of the Sanders Sides (+ C!Thomas and Nico)

Disclaimer: Just my opinion, feel free to disagree. Also, I do not hate any of these characters, the ranking is based on my preferences.

Ranking under cutoff

Number 1: Remus. This ranking is pretty obvious if you take 5 seconds to look at my blog. I have brain rot when it comes to this silly guy. I made a whole fucking character analysis of him. This whole special interest in this goofy character is all Destinies Intertwined's fault. This stupid fanfic made my autism attach to him and not let go (not hating on Destinies Intertwined btw, the fic is a classic). He is constantly in my head, and I am cursed to be that way until I am in the grave, maybe even more if there's an afterlife.

Number 2: Janus & Roman. Tied for 2nd place is Remus's brother and husband best friend. I cannot pick between the two, but if I had to I'd say Janus ranks a little bit higher because his character design is cool, but I honestly don't really know. The stoplight trio (as I've taken to calling them) is probably my favorite trio in the series. Roman having a connection to Remus propels him close to the top of my list, and when I have to pick one of the sides and Remus and Janus aren't options, my brain usually defaults to Roman. Overall, very nice characters.

Number 3: Thomas. The main character of the series is somehow the most underrated and least talked about character in the fandom. C!Thomas is great. He's a really good character for the sides to bounce off of, but even without the sides, he's still a really good and compelling character. His conflict within the series feels immensely relatable and it's so satisfying to see him start to come to the conclusion that he's an imperfect beings who's deserving of love. I love him, he's great.

Number 4: Nico Flores. Nico is such a nice character when paired with Thomas. You really start to love their dynamic and hope that they can work out no matter how much the odds may seem stacked against them. I do kind of wish that we knew more about him as a person. Right now, he's only been a character in two episodes, those being Flirting with Social Anxiety, and also had an appearance in the endcard of What Makes a Perfect Gift? so we don't know much about him. I do like how he's been characterized in the fanfics that I've read, but I'm not factoring in fanfics for this ranking. But going off of his character when paired with Thomas, he's really good.

Number 5: Logan. At first, I didn't really care for him, but he's honestly grown on me. I do pay more attention to the characters above him because of my bias for them, but I do sometimes find myself thinking about Logan. WTIT and orange Logan has also really helped with making him more compelling to me as a character. For most of season 1 and a little of season 2, he seemed kind of one dimensional to me, but with the orange reveal in WTIT, it really helped me look deeper into his character and connect with him more. I do kind of wish his design had a little bit more detail to it instead of just being a shirt, pants, shoes, tie, belt, and glasses, but other than that, he's a pretty good solid character.

Number 6: Patton. My original favorite. I don't have much to say about Patton. I feel like I only had him as my favorite at first because my ex-best friend said he represented me the most at the time. After my Remus obsession started, I did pay less attention to him, but he is still pretty nice. His character arcs in season 2 where he learns to not cover up his feelings and learns to trust who Thomas is instead of constantly questioning if he's a good person or not are really compelling and something I really needed during my shit high school experience. I do think they kind of played the goofster part of his personality up too much in season 1, but I can give him a pass in that regard since the story wasn't really that developed at first. Pretty nice character though.

Number 7: Virgil. I kinda have a love hate relationship with him. Sometimes I really like him, and sometimes I don't really care for him. Nothing against Virgil, he's a really good character, I love his sassiness and aesthetic, I just think he's a little overrated as a character. I mean, most of the fan stuff I've seen of Sanders Sides leans really heavily into Virgil, which makes it more difficult to find stuff for the others. Season 1 leaned a little too heavily into him and his arc as a character and that affected his general reception as a character as well as the screentime for the other characters. I do understand that the whole main point of season 1 was Virgil's character arc, but I feel like his arc takes away from the impact of the other side's arcs in season 1. I don't really have this problem in season 2 however since after his character arc, the focus of the series shifts away from him and gives more screentime to the others, which really helps.

[doughbrainer]

TW: CANCER, DEATH

*Apologies For The Bad Quality, I Had To Download This Off Myself From Discord Instead Of How I Usually Upload Content To Tumblr*

HELL YEAH!!! SANDERS SIDES OC ANGST TIME!!

Okay So I've Been Hearing This Song EVERYWHERE On Tiktok And Instagram, I Wanted To Partake In This Trend But It Was Hard To Figure Out What Characters I Wanted To Do This With Because My Original Thought Was A "What If" Situation Between Patton And Logan BUT THEN I Remembered Some Of My SS OC Lore And I Was Like

"FUCK IT, CANON OC ANGST!"

For Some Context

Snake Fella Is Janus' Father (Kind Of Obvious) And The Punk Lad Is Virgil's Father

Before These Two Went Onto Their Relationship With The Respective Mothers Of Their Kids, These Two Use To Be In A Relationship But Eventually Broke Up To Reasons I Don't Know Yet

Eventually They Went Onto To Have Their Kids And Vincent (Virgil's Dad) Would Eventually Be Diagnosed With Leukaemia, Also Known As Blood Cancer And Eventually (As You Probably Figured) Dies

What's Shown In The Video Is Ethan (Janus' Dad) Remembering And Reminiscing On His Time With Vincent

Honestly I Should Post The References I Have For These Guys Here Too As I Had To Remove Them All From Instagram Because They Weren't Protected From META AI (Booooo Tomato Tomato, I Hate AI)

Anyways, Expect That Soon!

[touyubesposts]

How do you think Markiplier's egos and Sanders Sides would interact with one another?

I am so glad you asked! (This is gonna be long)

For context, I imagine the reason they all met was some time-warp space fuckery, and right now the sides only chance at survival is kinda hanging out with the egos until something can get sorted.

As a whole, everything is relatively peaceful. Is there Drama? Of course. But nothing too terrible. Maybe a physical altercation on a bad day, but nothing that would get the sides thrown out.

Let's get the obvious out of the way: Remus and Wilford would hang out. Remus would be fascinated by how off the walls Wilford could get and Wilford wouldn’t think twice about Remus’s insane sentinces. He’s like that Marge meme of ‘I just think he’s neat!’ Remus doesn’t really care about the others, but he loves asking Google fucked-up questions because he’ll just answer. No hesitation. And Remus thinks that's hilarious. Also him and Heehoo have to be kept in separate rooms after the incident.

Patton and Stan would be IMMEDIATE FRIENDS. I’m talking first day of knowing each other, Patton has already made friendship bracelets, Stan makes sure Patton is taking care of himself, and they have a ‘dad club’ that consists of only them two. And they match! They have basically adopted the others as their own, even Patton sometimes able to help Dark. The only person he hasn’t ‘officially’ adopted is Yancy. Patton found out Yancy was a self-made orphan and decided ‘he’s just, like, a friend’ because Patton values his life. (But if we're getting into uncanon egos, Patton basically adopted Erek Derekson and Hates Derek Derekson. Like I fully believe if you put this two face-to-face, they would fight. Patton deserves to go ape-shit as a treat :) )

Logan doesn’t necessarily like Google, but out of all the others, he tolerates Google the most. They pretty much work together to try and get things figured out for everyone, and their relationship is strictly work colleagues. Until Logan found out Google also really likes space. Now he’s intrigued. Another ego that intrigues him are The Jims. Its because he’s heard of a side splitting, but not infinitely splitting. Now he’s begun keeping a tiny notebook on everything he’s learned about the others.

Roman is the most active when it comes to hanging out with the other egos. Him and Yancy definitely bond over their love of musicals and their (chosen) family. For Illinois, however, I feel like they’re either partners or rivals, no in-between. If they’re partners, total bond over their love of adventure and constant compliments. If rivals, very catty behavior from both of them about how self-absorbed the other is. Roman and Dark have a mutual hatred for each other. Roman thinks Dark is the Villain while Dark hates any idea of a hero after Actor. Also Roman found out Dark was twins that re-merged and gained a new fear. And finally, Actor manipulates the shit out of Roman, constantly planting ideas of how similar they are and talking about how everyone else abandoned them so he should stay vigilant.

Janus probably talks to the others the least, keeping his distance and watching from afar. However, he does enjoy learning about the others through the sides that talk to him. Whether it's frustrations or compliments, he takes a mental note of it all. The only person he doesn’t know about at all is Actor, and Roman would love to keep it that way. Janus also loves knocking the more egotistical egos down a peg with off-handed comments. Luckily, that hasn't wound up in anything bad. And while he does do this, he would protect them if it came down to it. While he doesn’t like them, others do. And they all have a use.

Virgil, surprisingly enough, found his way near Dark. I think Dark realizes Virgil’s ‘potential’ and keeps him nearby because if anyone were to stop Virgil, it would be Dark. And if anyone were to help Dark, it would be Virgil. (You know Virgil’s voice thing when he gets anxious? Yeah, I’m gonna be the first to assume it doesn’t stop there.) Virgil over time realizes Dark is a lot like Logan and Janus, meaning he's keeps to himself a lot and attempts to hide his emotions a lot. But because Virgil is near Dark, he’s gotten to know all the others (as well as Dark) very well. Virgil nearly sprinted towards Logan once he found out Heehoo had a scientific name. Also Virgil was the first Side to find out about Dark and Wilford’s Past, which was shocking for him because some of the other egos don’t know his past.

So that's my head canons, feel free to tell me your own, and I hope you have a good day!

[t4tprinzzy]

2. What are your sides traits? Are they the same or different from the Sanders Sides?

4. Do your sides have names? Is there a reason they're named that? (Ex. How Patton's name comes from "Pathos")

9. Do your sides interact with the Sanders Sides? If so, who gets along with who? Who hates each other?

16. FREE SPOT FOR ANSWERERS! Ramble about anything you want!

- @transfemlogan

2: my sides traits are Hope, Sensitivity, Logic, Creativity, “Cringe” and… weed. the weed side

cringe is like a reclamation of sorts, and is used positively. she’s made of self love rather than self deprecation :3 rawr basically encompasses all my interests that society considers “cringe”

hope is kinda like my morality in a way, but functions differently from patton (especially since she’s also my selfishness). hope wants me to be better, and knows i can be, but isn’t overbearing about it

sensitivity is also my anxiety, and kinda takes things to heart. but she’s fiercely protective of me and the others, so if any of us get hurt, all hell breaks loose. they’re unintentionally the reason i worry about if im a bad person, because of the anxiety portion of her functions. she doesn’t mean to make me question it, it just happens because of their worrying

and logic and creativity are fairly similar to logan and roman respectively, but my logic is very emotional, and i only have one creativity that encompasses all aspects of imagination

weed is… my stoner thoughts. and my munchy cravings. and my love of bongs

4: they all have different names from their traits except Hope! he’s just Hope because it feels right, i honestly have no reasoning skjdjdfk

Sensitivity is Ophelia, named after the hurricane because they’re like an oncoming storm, and also because the name means “aid” and “help”, and all Ophelia wants to do is help me through life’s issues,, idk it makes sense in my head lmao

Cringe is Ebony because “my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and i have long ebony black hair (that’s how i got my name) with purple-

Logic is Nikola because i wanted to name it after someone in history who was known for their brilliance, and Nikola Tesla, inventor of the tesla coils, seemed like the right pick. idk something about a guy who worked with electricity seemed right to me

Creativity is Angelo, derived from Michelangelo, the famous painter. for hopefully obvious reasons lmao

Weed is… Mary Jane. i probably don’t need to explain

9: i haven’t yet decided if they actually interact! but i think hypothetically, Hope would get along well with Remus. idk why, just the vibe i get. and Janus i think. and he would probably think Patton is a bit much kajdjffj like “damn this guys in charge of thomas’s morality??” kajdjdfj

Nikola and Logan might get along as well, and logan would be fascinated by Nikola’s capacity for emotion, given their role as Logic. it would definitely be intrigued by Remus and Roman, being two creativities that separated from each other, and probably try to study them sjdjdjfjf

Angelo and Roman would freakin love each other lmao a prince and a fae, that’d be great. though Angelo can have darker ideas that lean towards remus territory

Ophelia would appreciate Virgil at first but after a while be like “wow this guy kinda sucks” KSJDJDJF and due to her being intrusive thoughts and anxiety, she wouldn’t really like being around Remus cos of the influence he would have (remus would say some shit like “your bones are always wet” or smthn idk and Ophelia would freak the fuck out)

Ebony and Remus. need i say more <3

also Mary Jane and Remus. but Mary Jane probably likes everyone (probably doesn’t trust Patton at first, cos his dad energy also has some narc energy like he’s gonna be all strict about drugs, but warms up to him eventually)

16: UHHH UM. RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS?

im dating myself, and as such im also dating my sides. so there’s that

Ebony and i are cuddlers through and through. if i had longer hair he’d always be braiding it lmao and it loves making me kandi jewelry that i cant wear cos it’s imaginary </3 faer primary love language is physical touch for sure (words of affirmation is a close second)

Nikola just loves spending time with me and telling me everything on its mind <3 they also love sharing fun facts about the world cos it knows i love learning. their primary love language is quality time

Angelo is always wanting to slow dance with me, even though im not a good dancer lmao. he’s very romantic and sensual, so fae’re always trying to sweep me off my feet by waxing poetic. magics primary love language is a tie between gift giving and acts of service

Hope enjoys singing to me, especially to try and help me fall asleep at night. it doesn’t always work but the gestures there lmao. she’ll run his fingers through my hair and softly serenade me and fuck im so touch starved KAJDJDDJF her primary love language is acts of service (quality time is a close second)

Ophelia writes me poetry and performs it (not in a bombastic way, just… a gentle delivery that speaks for itself). they get help from Angelo for this lmao but it’s always 100% her writing. her primary love language is quality time (physical touch is a close second)

Mary Jane is also a big cuddler, and, of course, enjoys smoke sessions. it also enjoys joint cooking sessions (pun intended), where we both cook something :3 its primary love language is physical touch and quality time

i hope i answered these well :3

[allthislove]

There’s a certain type of white woman that hates Meghan Markle on principle.

TW for su*c*de mention.

I said in the previous post that they hate that Meghan illustrates that white femininity is not the gold standard that they have been taught that it is. And this, in my opinion, is exactly what their problem is. And this is why I have no patience or sympathy or kindness for these women. It’s not a new phenomenon. I’ve seen it before in fandoms. The way a significant group of white fangirls hated and still hate Iris West on The Flash because she’s Black and is the love interest of the cute, white main character guy. They go out of their way to ship him with any white girl he knows, because they can’t wrap their head around him choosing a Black woman over them. They need to feel like their whiteness automatically makes them more desirable than any Black woman. Even when they are gorgeous and smart and wonderful like Meghan Markle or Candace Patton.

That’s all I see from these white women. I see obvious and transparent jealousy that, if they couldn’t have Prince Harry, it wasn’t another white girl they could project themselves onto. It was a Black girl (and in many of the British white women’s cases, an AMERICAN Black girl.) And yes, I know Meghan Markle is biracial, but that hardly seems to matter to white people. They don’t see someone who is white with them. They see tainted blood. The tragic mulatto stereotype. All they see is a Black girl who dared to sink her grubby paws into the Prince Charming they were told they were owed their entire lives. All they see is a street hoochie who saw dollar signs and isn’t good enough. An uppity n*gress who doesn’t know her place. 

I see it in the venomous way they say she “wants attention” every time she does or says anything. If she touches her baby bump, or says “It’s a girl!” on TV. It doesn’t matter that it’s the daughter of a prince, one of the most famous princes in the world, and it would be huge news that he was having a daughter no matter who his wife was. To them, the tainted negro children might as well not even be Harry’s. They’re Meghan’s, and she’s somehow awful for daring to birth them or even be happy about it.

It’s in the way they call a millionaire actress a “gold digger”, or say nonsense things like “she was a washed up actress before she met him” (She was STARRING ON A CABLE TV SHOW, which is a good enough job for Jennifer Aniston, but when it’s Meghan Markle, it’s “washed up.”) 

They say things like this, because they can get the benefit of the doubt and claim they don’t hate her because she’s Black. Because if they say that, they’d show their true colors. But they do.

Because all in all, she’s done nothing wrong. All in all, she’s just a woman who married a prince. ANY woman on Earth, including Beyonce and Taylor Swift, would get a profile and position boost from marrying into the British Royal Family. Again, it’s THE MOST FAMOUS ROYAL FAMILY ON EARTH. There are other royals, but most of the world doesn’t even know many of the other royals, unless they’re from those countries or just happen to be interested in royalty in general. EVERYONE knows Harry and Will. 

Kate Middleton was a veritable nobody when she married Will.

Meghan Markle was at least a pretty successful actress with a following of her own. And SHE’S the gold digger? It’s thinly veiled racist language. It’s the image of the ghetto Black woman pumping out babies to trap a man. It’s the idea that a Black woman can’t be worth anything on her own so she chases a rich man.

I mean, I know Priyanka isn’t Black, but similar things were said about her when she married Nick, and she’s PRIYANKA CHOPRA. She was already a huge Bollywood star. And again, it was white women leading conversations like this, because again, they were faced with the reality that white femininity is not the gold standard. That a South Asian woman could get their favorite heartthrob and they couldn’t, nor did a cute white girl they could project themselves on.

DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE “MEGHAN MADE KATE CRY” LIE! This is a prime example of the weaponization of white femininity to demonize Black people. Been going on for centuries and will continue to. Weaponizing tears is the white woman’s bread and butter, especially if it can be used to demonize a Black woman. “Oh, boo hoo, that brutish Black thing made sweet little fragile, porcelain white me cry!” And to find out it was the other way around and NOBODY in that family said anything and just let the “angry Black woman” take the heat? It’s sick. And it’s common. It happens all the time. Because white femininity is soft and fragile and innocent, and Black women are never afforded that.

Even light skinned, biracial Black women like Meghan Markle. White women still refuse to believe she even has feelings. Crazy old hags like Megyn Kelly straight up think she LIED in the interview about HOW SHE FELT, because white people can’t imagine a Black person having feelings! They think we all just make it up because we’re trying to make them look bad or something, or that we like pretending to be hurt by their racism simply to make them look bad. So they don’t have to feel remorse for the racist shit they do and say. For making a pregnant woman hate herself so much that she didn’t want to live. 

Like, we all know how bad hormones make people feel during pregnancy anyway. They can’t even believe that a pregnant woman who was being disparaged DAILY by the British tabloids ... felt sadness or hopelessness because of it? 

Like, it really seems like white people think Black people have no feelings.

IDK, I’m still angry and hurt for her. And like, I’m so sick of white women only being feminists when it benefits them. I’m so sick of the absolute vitriol they have for Black women all the time. I HATE how they see us as beneath them, in every situation. 

I really think these racist hags thought Harry would pick one of them. And when he picked someone not white, they couldn’t take it. 

We have to stop letting white women hide behind this “I’m a woman, so I’m oppressed” shit, when they know exactly how to weaponize white supremacy to benefit themselves. And I don’t think Black women should have to be nice about it. White women need to get it to-fucking-gether and cut this shit out. Because it’s PERVASIVE, and like, when it’s a fictional character it’s one thing, but they literally drove this REAL, HUMAN WOMAN TO THE BRINK and they STILL refuse to stop. Inhumane cretins. 

[prodigal-explorer]

because i don’t give a shit about him :-D

in honor of pride month, here are pronouns that the sides get lit with:

roman: he/him, she/her, and star/starself

remus: it/itself and bug/bugself

logan: they/them and fern/fernself

virgil: he/him, they/them, and bat/batself

janus: he/him, she/her, and trick/trickself

[sidespromptblog]

What to Do?: Chapter 2

One, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Summary: Logan realizing that his first mistake was seeing the other sides as anything other than coworkers. They weren't a family. They didn't even like each other. How had he not realized sooner?

Warnings: General anxiety, hurt/comfort, angst, and hurt feelings. 

Word Count:  1,803

Logan could feel the tug in his gut of the others clearly trying to summon him into the centerpiece of the mindspace. For a split second he felt a jab of fear racing through him as he pondered whether or not he should actually go to them, they wouldn’t be happy about the decision he had decided to make for himself. If anything they’d probably be most cross with him about it, or… or perhaps they’d laugh at him. Say that it was ridiculous that he was trying to appear so professional with all the things that they knew about each other. 

Yeah… they would most definitely try to laugh it off to clear the air, and to make him go back on his decision. To undermine his boundaries, and make him second guess himself when it came to this. 

But he wouldn’t… he couldn’t.

Not about this, and most certainly not now. He had already talked himself into doing this, and he wasn’t going to let his imagination run away with him about it either. 

He had made up his mind. 

“Logan…” He could hear Patton referring to him. 

“Logan.” He could hear Roman talking. 

“Logan..” He could hear Virgil mumbling. 

Logan’s fingers curled into his hands, and he could feel his temper flaring up before he even attempted to stamp it back down. “Shut up!” He snarled to himself, raising his hands to his ears as to block out the sounds of his name that came from inside his head. A part of him felt like sobbing, like curling up in a corner and just admitting defeat so that it would just make it all stop. But he couldn’t do that, and he knew that he couldn’t do that. There was too much work to be done… “Just stop!” 

Logan. Logan. Logan…

Logan!

This could not wait another day, no matter what Logan tried to tell himself it just couldn’t. He needed to set things straight, and get it down with the others so they at least understood where he was on the matter, no matter how much it hurt their feelings. In the end, it would at least make him feel better, and hopefully… hopefully things would at least change then and he’d be listened to. 

Even if it was only a little bit. 

Straightening his back, and forcing his hands back down to his sides Logan rose up in the living room biting his tongue the entire time. He would only have to endure his name in their mouths for just a little bit longer, they might not listen, but at least they would know. And that’s literally all that he needed from them, it didn’t matter if they got upset or refused. 

Because this was for him, not for them. 

“Logan!” Virgil’s head whipped away from Patton and Roman, and to where Logan was standing. “Are you okay?” The anxious side tried to ask it cooly, but everyone could see his hands fidgeting with the loose threading strands of his sleeves. The anxiety he had felt coming off of Logan in waves had all but vanished the moment that he had arrived, and it had done very little to lessen Virgil’s own anxieties about the subject. His gaze seemed to look everywhere but Logan for an instance, before he finally willed himself to look at the logical side.  “You seemed kind of anxious, and we were…” The words that were right on Virgil’s tongue died in an instant upon seeing the look on Logan’s face. 

None of them had exactly gotten a chance to talk to Logan after his whole run in with Remus, but right then and there… Virgil wished that he had been there from the very start. To help Logan, and to help the logical side come to terms with the fact that his schedule hadn’t exactly been followed. 

He wished… he wished that he had done something. 

Because…

Logan didn’t look cold, he didn’t even appear to be disinterested in them like he had in the past when it came to discussing Roman’s daydreams or plans. He just looked…

Well it was weird, but he looked oddly polite. 

Like a stranger waiting for someone to stop talking, so that he could speak his business. 

Virgil swallowed thickly, “Deceit?” He merely asked, looking Logan up and down as if trying to spot any inconsistencies of the other side’s attire. 

There was nothing.

And Logan slowly shook his head, his eyes remaining trained on Virgil steadily. He looked calm, the farthest thing from the side who used to scream falsehood at him and anyone who tried to lie to his face. His hair was a windswept mess, and his clothes even messier. With his tie loosened and the collar to his shirt unbuttoned by a single button. And it was that alone that sent alarm bells off in Virgil’s head, because despite all of that… Logan was here. He was calm, he was collected, and there didn’t seem to be anything wrong with him. 

He looked fine. 

But something was wrong, maybe it was just him but.. there had to be something wrong with Logan. He couldn’t be okay, not by any kind of standards. He knew Logan too well to know that the logical side would never show up to any kind of meeting with them dressed as he was. Logan was far too prideful for that, and he also knew that Roman would most certainly never let him live it down. So… something.. Something had to be wrong here. He couldn’t be okay.

Not after what happened. 

“Logan,” Patton inched forward, a look of clear worry on his face. “You okay bucko? Are you feeling oka-” 

“Logic.”

Patton blinked, hoping that he had misheard what Logan had just said to him. His voice chilly in the kind of way that made his back shiver, even if there wasn’t a single draft to be felt. “What?” He attempted a happy playful smile that wouldn’t betray how he was feeling, when the stoney look on Logan’s face didn’t even  budge for a second he felt it slip right off into a puzzled frown. He was acutely aware of Roman and Virgil watching their interaction with the eyes of a hawk, their eyes were burning the back of his head. He could feel something inside of him tremble with that one word that Logan had spoken to him, and he hoped with everything that he was… that he’d only misheard Logan. With Logan’s firm unbreaking stare,  and the obvious stares from the other two sides… he had to actively avoid squirming in place just from how uncomfortable he was starting to get from the change in atmosphere. 

All it had taken was one word… and it felt like everything had just turned on its head.

Logan crossed his arms smoothly over his chest, “Given the state of our relationship, it is Logic.. Not Logan.” There wasn’t a single hint of joking or exaggeration in his voice, there was just that air of polite honesty that somehow managed to rub Patton the wrong way. 

“What?” He asked again, his throat choking out the word. This time he was absolutely sure that he was about to cry, was this.. was this Logan ending their friendship? Was he really that tired of them and their jokes? Did he… 

Did he hate them? 

“What are you talking about?!” This time it was Roman who spoke up, the creative side had been lounging on the couch for a majority of the time. Only now rising once it was apparent how upset Patton was getting with Logan’s selective words, and to top it off… he was getting rather upset himself at it. Did this name change just go to Patton, or was it all of them combined? “Listen,” Roman tried to say patiently. “If you’re upset and angry about your schedule not being followed this is not the way to act about it, tell us and we’ll work something out. Don’t just pull this shit and expect us to not know what to do with it!”

Roman’s breath came out in hot angry puffs, he honestly hadn’t expected himself to get so worked up over this.

Logan’s eyes shifted over to him, clearly waiting a moment to see if Roman was done talking. “Creativity.” Roman’s lungs seized, and his breathing stopped right then and there with that one little word. Logan was… Logan was serious. “I am not angry.” He said patiently. “I understand that sometimes things come up that can get in the way of a preplanned schedule. It is okay, and I understand that nothing could be done that specific day.” Logan linked his fingers together. “However, I am merely stating that I wish to not be referred to so casually.” 

Their mouths gaped openly, a mixture of concern, fear, and puzzlement written over each of their faces. For a moment Roman had no idea what to say, after everything involving Patton and Janus this just felt like one more thing that he didn’t understand. He was fairly certain that none of them understood this though, judging by the looks on each of their faces. None of them knew why Logan was choosing to pursue this, and honestly… he was kind of scared to know exactly why. 

Because that meant in some kind of way… they had all fucked up. 

Roman hated himself for the words that came out of him next, “Are we not close? I thought that knowing your name, and using it meant that.. that you trusted us with it.”  

For a split second, Logan looked up to the ceiling and Roman fought the urge to bristle indignantly at the implications. The hurt in his heart steadily being replaced by a new feeling that he couldn’t yet put his finger on, but once he did…

“No,” Logan merely said, and didn’t elaborate. “I am going to go back to my room should you need to call on me again, I will be drafting up a new schedule that we can all hopefully agree upon, in the meantime... Have a good day.” 

There wasn’t the tiniest hint of resignation or resentment, throughout everything that he’d told them Logan had remained polite to the very end. Even when he ducked out, there weren’t any side eyes, or upset looks from him. Just an air of civil courtesy, that felt so.. so unlike him. Logan got excited about his projects, and he got upset when they didn’t play out to how he wanted them exactly to go. He should have been upset, he should have been spitting barbs and being salty about his failed schedule, he should have reassured Virgil’s anxieties, and he should have…

He should trust them…

Shouldn’t he? 

[eliemo]

A Private Understanding

Summary: Virgil knows that despite his best efforts, it’s only a matter of time until things go back to how they were. He doesn’t understand how it could work out any other way. 

TWs: past abuse, past gaslighting

Takes place before “Getting There”

Masterpost

Taglist under the cut

Virgil took a breath, hesitating in the kitchen’s entrance, the world outside the mindscape’s windows still dark and quiet. The sun wouldn’t rise for another twenty minutes or so, and that still gave him over an hour before anyone woke up. 

This was...a terrible idea. 

What if he was breaking some sort of unspoken rule? What if the kitchen was off limits until everyone was awake and he just hadn’t realized? What if he made a loud sound and woke everyone up? What if he made a mess? 

What if he managed to ruin everything so horribly the others decided it was one mistake too many and went back on any promises of safety they’d made? 

Virgil knew, somewhere beneath the layers upon layers of rising panic, that he was being stupid. 

He was trying to do something good, for once. They wouldn’t...they wouldn’t hurt him over that. Not even if he messed it up. 

It had been almost a week since Virgil had explained how things were, almost a week since the light sides learned that hitting Virgil was even an option. 

Almost a week of him making countless mistakes, annoying everyone around him, and probably being overbearing and detrimental to Thomas, and still none of them had hurt him. Not even once. 

Virgil of course, wouldn’t blame them if they did. He wasn’t entirely sure how they planned on putting up with him without the use of punishment. The Others wouldn’t have hurt him so often if it wasn’t helpful. 

But the light sides...so far they hadn’t even seemed tempted. They’d all been so nice to him, and never once had they tried to cancel that out to remind him of his place, of how much power they had over him. 

Virgil may be a part of their family now, they may be friends, but he was still Anxiety. They couldn’t just...pretend he wasn’t. 

But then again, Virgil was starting to realize that they weren’t pretending. 

They didn’t treat Virgil like something he wasn’t. They didn’t push him past his limits, they listened to his concerns and fears, they were patient and gentle when his panic got the best of him and clouded his judgment. 

And over and over again, all three of them would tell him that what he went through wasn’t ok. That he hadn’t deserved the hurt and the fear. That no one- not even Anxiety- should ever be punished like that. 

It was everything he wanted, and yet…

He wouldn’t have been hurt for so long if he didn’t deserve it. That didn’t make any sense. So...so maybe they wouldn’t hurt him. They were too kind to lift a hand against him, even something as small as a simple slap. 

But eventually, they’d regret their decision. Nobody wanted him around, especially if they didn’t have a way to take out their frustration. 

And he’d given them a dangerous amount of leverage to use against him. 

He trusted them. He cared about them more than he knew how to say. He’d dropped the tough-guy act in hopes of being accepted, and they’d welcomed him, let him show them just how scared he was. 

Virgil didn’t want to be punished. He didn’t want to be hurt. He’d do anything to keep it from happening again. 

Nothing was more terrifying than the thought of going back, and they knew that. 

He didn’t...actually think they would threaten to send him back. Not really. Not with the risk of his sudden absence affecting Thomas. And...not when there was a slight chance that they might actually like him. They’d certainly seemed pretty upset to learn what the others had been doing to him. 

But it was still a thought in the back of his mind. The light sides wouldn’t hurt him, but if it came down to it, they could just hand him right over to the people who would. 

So obviously, he just had to make sure that didn’t happen. He could do that- and this was a start. 

He’d seen Patton make breakfast countless times, enough that he thought even he had a chance at not fucking up a few pancakes. 

Still, it was a welcome surprise when he didn’t make a horrible mess or end up burning the kitchen down, a plate full of (hopefully) acceptable pancakes on the table by the time sunlight began filtering in through the window. 

He knew they wouldn’t be nearly as good as the ones Patton made, and really there was no way to tell if they would be edible at all, but Patton seemed exhausted lately, and cooking breakfast was the least Virgil could do. 

He rarely cooked, it stressed him out too much with the others looming over his shoulder- there was always too great a risk of spilling something, or being too loud, or dropping a dish or burning the food and making the room smell like smoke…

He’d been punished accordingly for all of that, but this time he’d actually managed to do...not a horrible job. As much as he hated what happened when he messed up, they did keep him cautious of any mistakes.

 He probably would have fucked the whole thing up if their words weren’t constantly ringing in his head. Reminders to be extra careful- you know what happens when you drop something- or to double check the measurements- if you fuck up something this simple, I swear to god we’ll--

“Virgil?” 

Virgil jumped at the voice suddenly behind him, silently relieved he wasn’t carrying anything he could have broken, spinning around to see a clearly only half-awake Logan in the doorway, peering curiously into the kitchen. 

Patton was coming down the stairs behind him, smiling curiously when he saw the two sides already awake, rubbing his tired eyes behind his glasses. 

“Morning kiddos,” he greeted, sending a lopsided smile Virgil’s way. “What’cha got there, Virgil?”

Somehow the way he said it, genuine curiosity in his question rather than a threatening demand, didn’t send anxiety and dread shooting down Virgil’s spine. It was a welcome change. 

“I, uh, I made breakfast. Pancakes. For you guys, so uh...here you go.” 

He glanced at the plate of pancakes he’d set down, suddenly stupidly nervous. He’d kind of planned on being out of the room by the time they came down to eat, wanting to be out of the way if they decided they were angry with him. 

But Logan’s eyebrow raise didn’t seem annoyed in the slightest, and Patton broke out into a wide grin. 

“Aw, kiddo! That’s so sweet, you didn’t have to do that!” 

Virgil shrugged, forcing himself to relax. They weren’t upset or annoyed- he was ok. “I know, I just...figured you could use the break, you know? Sorry if they’re bad, I don’t really know...I just learned watching you, so--” 

“They look satisfactory,” Logan said, squeezing Virgil’s shoulder as he passed. “This was very thoughtful of you to do.” 

Patton offered him a quick hug, followed by compliments Virgil knew he probably didn’t deserve for mediocre pancakes, quickly making his way over to the table to begin serving. 

“I smell pancakes!” Roman announced, still on the stairs, his voice easily carrying through the quiet of the mindscape. 

The Prince bounded into the room, somehow already wide eyed and glowing, and Virgil wondered how any of them managed to have so much energy so early, while he usually struggled just to get out of bed in the mornings. 

Patton beamed, winking at Virgil as the anxious side took his seat at the table, beyond grateful that he didn’t have to risk handling any more glass plates while all the attention was on him. 

Patton began serving everyone plates as they all sat in their usual spots at the dining room table, filling the room with non-stop praises such as “These pancakes look so good, kiddo!” or “I had no idea you knew how to cook! We should make breakfast together sometime!” 

Virgil just shrugged and smiled, relieved it wasn’t obvious how worried he’d been that they’d all be mad he’d had the audacity to cook breakfast instead of Patton. 

Roman laughed, squeezing Virgil’s shoulder as he sat down and drenched his pancakes in syrup. “I’m just surprised he didn’t end up setting the oven on fire!” 

“Oh please,” he scoffed, forcefully pushing down the panicked excuses and apologies that fought their way to the surface at the accusation. Roman wasn’t angry; he knew what the Prince looked like when he was mad. “Have a little faith in me, Princey.” 

Roman laughed again, and Virgil’s chest no longer felt quite so tight as he allowed himself to smile, glancing at the other’s relaxed expressions. 

The rest of breakfast was exactly what Virgil had learned to expect, jokes and smiles and bickering without malice. The familiar comfort instantly set him at ease, all worries of future punishment fading to the back of his mind. 

“This really was sweet of you, kiddo,” Patton said when the food was gone. “I guess it’s a good thing I overslept a bit, huh?” 

Virgil knew none of them had been sleeping well lately, all of them stressed out and scared since the day Logan had found Virgil in his room. They were losing sleep because of him. 

And there it was again, the aimless confusion that so forcefully overpowered any fear. He couldn’t comprehend why they weren’t upset with him, why they were always so nice. 

Virgil just shrugged, averting his gaze. “I mean, it’s the least I can do, right? After everything you guys have done I just...wanted to say thank you.” 

Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say. 

He might have missed it if he wasn’t so hyper-focused on changes in body language, but he saw Roman stiffen in his seat, and he just barely caught a glimpse of the nervous glance Logan and Patton sent each other. 

The tension was gone in an instant, quickly covered up by fond looks and bright smiles, but Virgil was now frantically scrambling to figure out what he’d missed. 

“I...sorry, I just--” 

“Don’t be sorry!” Roman said suddenly, and Virgil jumped at the frantic tone. “You didn’t do anything!” 

Prince looked to Logan, who raised an eyebrow while Patton looked down at his lap, fumbling with his napkin. Virgil suddenly felt like a child about to be told their dog ran away. 

“Of course not,” Logan said. “Apologies, Virgil. No one meant to imply that you had. We only--” 

“We don’t need you to thank us,” Patton jumped in. “You don’t owe us a thing, kiddo. We’re just glad you’re here with us now.” 

Virgil shook his head, bewildered. “No, you...you guys are the ones giving me a chance and I...I know that’s not easy. And I really...really appreciate everything you’re doing.” 

And maybe it wasn’t a lot to them, the little acts of kindness and patient smiles nothing but second nature to the light sides, but...but it meant everything to him. No one had offered him anything this good before. 

But he didn’t want to push his luck by arguing, painfully aware of how easily he could send someone over the edge, so he stood up from his chair and began gathering up everyone’s plates. 

Don’t drop it, don’t drop it, he couldn’t handle them getting angry if he broke anything--

“Oh, I can clean up kiddo!” 

Virgil shook his head, carefully setting the plates down on the counter, letting himself breathe when he made it across the kitchen without anything breaking. 

“I made the mess, Pat,” he said, risking a glance back at the table to make sure no one was getting frustrated. “I got it.” 

“But you--” Logan put a hand on the moral side’s shoulder, and Patton quickly fell silent. 

“If it puts your mind at ease,” the logical side said, sending a meaningful glance towards the other two. “Then we will not stop you. Besides, Patton could use the morning off. Just...please be careful not to overwork yourself, Virgil.” 

Virgil sighed, relieved, briefly wondering once again if Logan had the secret ability to read minds. He always seemed to know what everyone needed, as alienated from emotions as he claimed to be. 

“I won’t,” Virgil promised, flashing what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “I can handle it.” 

-

-

Virgil should have known he wouldn’t be able to keep a promise like that. God he was...he was so fucking useless. He was exhausted and terrified of losing the only people who had ever been kind to him in his life, but he’d really thought he would be able to handle it. 

Trembling on the kitchen floor, surrounded by cleaning supplies at two in the morning was the exact opposite of handling it. 

He hadn’t even planned on doing anything! He’d actually forced himself to go to bed at a regular hour, determined to create a somewhat stable sleep schedule. 

But obviously the universe had to remind him how much it hated him, leaving him to lay wide awake, staring at his ceiling for hours with a racing mind until he begrudgingly got up to get a drink of water. 

He should have known better with the way his vision swam with exhaustion, his hands shaking as he wrapped them around the glass, but of course he was stupid enough to try anyway, heart sinking when some of the water ended up sloshing over the edge and onto the tiled floor. 

He hadn’t panicked. He was alone in the dark, the kitchen empty and quiet, everyone else in the mindscape sound asleep. There was no reason to panic. 

But his shaking had only gotten worse as he’d set the glass in the sink, frantically glancing over his shoulder into the hallway to make sure it stayed empty. He grabbed a towel, lowered himself to his knees and began soaking up the water. 

He wasn’t really sure what had happened after that. He’d planned on cleaning up his mess, burying the damp towel at the bottom of the dirty laundry basket so no one would ever know, and then head back to bed to try and get at least a couple hours of sleep. 

But then...he’d found himself stuck where he was, staring at the kitchen floor, letting dark, nagging thoughts force their way to the front of his mind. 

Had he been doing enough? Did they think he was lazy? Was he still worth the kindness? What if they had already made plans to kick him out? 

They weren’t going to hurt him. They weren’t going to hurt him or send him back to the people who would. 

But they could. God, they so easily could and Virgil wouldn’t even fight it. Because he was lazy, and he wasn’t worth the kindness and he deserved to be sent back. 

But he could still convince them otherwise. He could still be better. 

And that was how he ended up pulling cleaning supplies out from under the sink, frantically scrubbing a floor that really didn’t need to be cleaned in the first place, distantly wondering why he couldn’t seem to stop. 

They weren’t upset with him. He’d been pulling his weight, already working himself to the bone to keep Thomas safe. Nobody had even hinted at being annoyed with him or going back on their word to let him live without punishment. 

So...why? Why couldn’t he get the Other’s voices out of his head? Why couldn’t he just forget about how things had been and move on? 

Why couldn’t he just stop being so scared? 

He wasn’t sure when he stopped scrubbing, his exhausted mind instead leaving him sitting on the damp floor, staring blankly at his hands, but it took him a moment to register the movement by the doorway. 

“Virgil?” 

Virgil jumped, dropping the wet cloth in his hand, scrambling back until he was pressed up against the bottom of the kitchen counter. The light from the living room had been turned on, the gentle glow flooding into the kitchen, illuminating the figure standing a few feet away. 

Roman blinked, looking from Virgil, to the cleaning supplies littering the floor, and then back to Virgil again. “What...in the world are you doing?” 

He didn’t sound angry, confused more than anything, but Virgil still flinched at the question. 

“Sorry,” he muttered. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.” 

“You didn’t, I was already awake.” Roman crouched down to Virgil’s level, still keeping a safe distance between them. “What’s wrong?” 

Virgil shook his head, suddenly painfully aware it just looked like he’d made the kitchen cluttered and wet. “Nothing. Sorry, you- you can go back to bed. It’s fine.” 

“You’re scrubbing the floor at three in the morning,” Roman said, frowning when Virgil flinched again. “I may not be Patton or Logan, but I can tell when something’s up, Gloomy Gus.” 

Virgil wondered how he could say that, how Roman could downplay his own abilities compared to the others when the Prince had been the first one to promise him safety, the first one to hold the anxious side in his arms. 

But Virgil didn’t have the energy to point any of that out right now, not when he couldn’t stop trembling and he was struggling to convince himself Roman wasn’t about to strike him. 

“I...I was just cleaning,” he said. “I got carried away, I’m sorry I was- I was gonna put everything away as soon as I was done.” 

Roman didn’t seem any less confused at the explanation, but his tone was still gentle when he spoke. “Did you spill something?” 

But despite it, Virgil still felt like he’d been punched, ice cold dread coiling around his gut as he shrank back, the counter against his back suddenly horribly confining. 

“I’m sorry, it- I was just getting some water and I...I didn’t mean to, I know I should’ve been more careful but I--” 

“Hey, hey it’s ok.” Roman offered a small smile, holding out his hands, all dramatics and jokes set aside. “I’m not upset, no one’s mad at you. And the kitchen looks fine, Virge, so how about I put all this stuff away and we can--” 

“No!” 

He hadn’t meant to raise his voice (it was still pathetically small, but Roman was shocked into silence nonetheless), but the panic only worsened at the offer. 

He couldn’t let the Prince clean up a mess Virgil had made all on his own. It didn’t matter how well meaning he was, it could too easily be used against him in the future, an unbeatable weapon of guilt and shame. 

“N-no, I got it. I made the mess, you...you don’t have to--” 

“How about we clean it up together, then? It’s ok to ask for help sometimes, and I’m up anyway.” 

He was clearly trying so hard, and if Virgil wasn’t so irrationally terrified he might have thought it was sweet. But he was exhausted, the lack of sleep and incoming panic leaving him pretty much useless, and he realized he might be risking making a bigger mess by trying to put everything away himself. 

So he nodded and let Roman help him, the two sides carefully putting the cleaning supplies back where they belong and wiping down the residual dampness on the floor. 

Roman never once stood up, doing everything from where he kneeled on the floor, and Virgil was fairly certain it was an attempt to make Virgil feel more at ease, careful not to tower over him. 

Virgil appreciated it more than he probably should. 

“There we go,” Roman announced when they were done. “See? Easy fix. No need to stress out.” 

Virgil nodded, still in a pathetic little ball on the floor, wrapping his hoodie around himself in a vain attempt to hide the way he was still shaking.

 He expected Roman to leave now, to demand they both head to bed before they lost anymore sleep, but the Prince only scooted forward, sitting cross legged, his knees just a couple inches from Virgil’s. 

“Alright, Hot Topic,” Roman said. “Are you gonna tell me what’s up now? Or are we gonna have to sit here all night?” 

His easy smile was probably the only reason Virgil didn’t immediately start panicking again, but he quickly averted his gaze, struggling to piece through his racing thoughts enough to form a coherent sentence. 

And really, how was he supposed to explain it? How was he supposed to make them see that he just didn’t…

“I don’t understand.” 

Roman didn’t react, just leaned forward slightly. “What don’t you understand, Virge?” 

“You’re not...you’re not angry. I made a mess and kept you awake and you’re not upset. At all. I just- I’m sorry, I just don’t...get it.” 

Even if Roman wasn’t angry, he shouldn’t be this kind to Anxiety. Virgil didn’t understand why he was forcing himself to be. 

“No one’s going to be upset with you,” Roman said softly. “You’re exhausted. We can tell you haven’t been sleeping--” 

“No one’s been sleeping.” 

“But you’re doing it on purpose,” Roman pointed out, and Virgil winced. “You’ve been overworking yourself all week. You cooked us breakfast- I mean look at you, Virgil you’re scrubbing the floor in the middle of the night!” 

Virgil hunched his shoulders instinctively. “I’m sorry.” 

“What? No, no I’m-” he paused, running a hand over his face. “I’m not angry, I promise. I’m worried. Ever since you told us what happened to you, you’ve been acting like...like…” 

He paused again, and Virgil watched as realization slowly hit, his brown eyes widening slightly. When Roman looked back at him, his expression was far too pained for his liking. “Virgil, you don’t owe us anything. You don’t have to convince us you’re worthy.” 

“Yes, I do.” God, why was all of this so confusing? “You guys keep saying I don’t, but I know how hard it is to treat me like this, and I--” 

“To treat you like what?” Roman demanded, growing progressively less gentle. “Like- like an equal? Like someone who doesn’t deserve to get beaten down for every little mistake?” 

Virgil didn’t know why Roman sounded so worked up, because they seemed to be on the same page now. “Yeah? I mean I just...I know it’s a lot of work, and I need to do something to make it up to you. To make it...you know. Worth the effort.” 

That was...the less selfish version of it, anyway. He owed them, he wanted to make their lives as easy as possible, but he was also willing to do anything if it meant getting to stay. 

But Roman didn’t need to know that. Not when it looked like he was already struggling not to be angry.  

“What...what did they say to you? How could you...how could you ever believe you deserve this? Virgil...Virgil, I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine.” 

And just like that, Roman didn’t look angry anymore. Upset, definitely, but there were tears pooling in his eyes, the distress on his face worse than any physical blow. 

“I’m sorry,” Virgil said for what felt like the hundredth time that night. And just like each time before, Roman quickly shook his head. “I-I’m trying to understand but I can’t--” 

“Please don’t be sorry.” Roman’s voice was barely a whisper, but it silenced Virgil immediately. “Don’t...don’t be sorry for what they did to you, alright? It wasn’t your fault.” 

That was debatable, considering everything he’d gone through had happened because he messed something up. But something told him Roman wouldn’t appreciate hearing that right now. 

“It’s not,” the Prince said again, like he knew what Virgil was thinking anyway. Roman moved to rub the back of his neck, an old nervous habit, taking a moment before continuing. “Do...do you think I’m going to hit you?” 

And Virgil wanted to immediately say no, to rush to assure the Prince that he knew Roman would never, that he hadn’t done anything to make Virgil think he would go back on his promise. 

But he couldn’t say that yet. Not truthfully, anyway. But...but looking at Roman now, lowered to the floor to Virgil’s level, eyes flooding with unshed tears...Virgil couldn’t honestly say he expected violence either, deserved or not. 

“I...I don’t think you’re going to,” he said slowly. “I mean, I- I know you won’t. I know that. It’s just...I don’t know. It’s hard to remember sometimes. But- but you promised you wouldn’t. So, I- I trust you.” 

Roman nodded, but didn’t look any less distraught. “Do you think I should?” 

It was asked softly, hesitantly, like Roman was afraid of an answer he already knew. And Virgil wondered if he should be ashamed of how quickly he found himself nodding. 

“God, Virge…” he trailed off, running a hand through his hair. “Why? I told you I wasn’t mad.” 

“I know, but I...I spilled, and left all the cleaning supplies out. Everything was a mess and I kept you from going back to bed, and I kept getting confused when you were explaining things and--” 

“I should hit you for being confused?” Virgil flinched, and Roman’s face fell. “I’m...so sorry. I don’t know what they did to make you think that’s the only option for you.” 

Virgil shrugged, wishing he could understand why Roman found this so impossible to comprehend. He thought Roman might be thinking the same thing. “It’s...it’s just easier for everyone. You’ll...figure that out eventually.” 

And really, that was the truth wasn’t it? They were kind, they were good, and they were trying. They meant it when they said they wouldn’t hurt him. They didn’t want to, because they didn’t know him yet. 

Their patience would run out, sooner or later. The Others had been around him for years, they knew better than anyone. No one could be expected to be around Anxiety without getting fed up, and Virgil couldn’t be of use without the pain. 

That was how it was, how it needed to be, and Virgil...Virgil could handle that. He hated it, but he wouldn't duck out again. He wouldn’t do that to Thomas. 

And he still loved the light sides. He didn’t think he could ever stop loving them. It wasn’t their fault that he was like this. And besides, no one had bothered to try this hard with him before. It had still been the best few weeks of his life and if he was lucky, it might last a couple more. 

Roman shook his head, and Virgil’s stomach dropped when he saw the Prince quickly wipe away a stray tear. He looked...heartbroken. And Virgil wanted so desperately to understand why. 

“I don’t go back on my promises,” he said softly. “Nobody will ever lay a hand on you. Nobody will hurt you again. You are never, ever going back. We love you, Virgil, and treating you like we do isn’t a burden. It isn’t something you ever need to thank us for.”

Roman reached forward slowly, his watery eyes never leaving Virgil’s as he moved, and Virgil forced himself not to flinch back. 

When the Prince touched his face, it was soft and delicate, his hand moving to frame his cheek like something fragile he was afraid to break. He held him gently, and Virgil leaned into the touch. 

“You could make a thousand mistakes,” Roman said. “And nothing bad would happen to you, because you don’t deserve to be hurt. You never did, and you never will. Nothing you could do would warrant that kind of treatment.” 

Virgil blinked, his vision going dangerously blurry in the face of Roman’s watering eyes and kind, horribly confusing words. It made his head spin. 

“I don’t…” he paused, clenching his jaw and swallowing against the lump in his throat. “I’m sorry. I don’t- I don’t get it. Roman, I- I can’t...I don’t understand.” 

His voice cracked on the last word, broken and small, and his eyes fell away from the Prince’s gaze. 

“I know,” Roman said, his thumb lightly tracing Virgil’s cheekbone. “But you will. I promise, one day you will.” 

Virgil closed his eyes, letting the tears spill over. His head fell forward, resting against Roman’s shoulder, and he let himself choose to believe in the Prince’s hope, just for a moment.

Taglist: @self-taught-mess @itawalrus @mygenderisidiot @a-very-gay-raccoon @dawnfire7 @cr4zyart @ray-does-stuff @whydoifeeltheneedtoorganizestuff @bunny222  @the-blue-recluse @bisexualdisaster106 @basilthefourth @snowtrashowl @thefingergunsgirl @trashtm @stubbornness-and-spite @kieraelieson @alias290 @darkch1ld @craz-ewaters @damy-02 @frogdog145 @gattonero17 @madamedraconis @stoicpanther @@love-to-read02 @that-spider-fan-over-there @thatoneloudowl @rich-flower-17 @demigodbookdragon @i-gobymanynames @wyvern-tales @spoopyseason66 @gaylotusthatexists @my-life-is-an-artistic-mess @that-one-fander @alias290 @yalltookmyurlideas @theantisocialghost @dark-strange-daughter @joylessnightsky @nova-galexa @luckymasie @stayarmy321 @starsinger @unhygienic-andy-the-anon @deathdarknessdevils @d-rizzle83 @spoonfullofcrofters @darkch1ld @sarcasmremovedsoul @bananabread123443

[maybedefinitely404]

For You Became My Lighthouse (Part 2)

Genre: hurt/comfort

Pairing: romantic Prinxiety

Content: argument, crying, a decent dose of awkward but it gets resolved!

Word count: 4.1k

Comment: This is the fourth time I’ve tried to post this--- Part 1 HERE!

Roman, is everything alright?

-Logan

Roman ran a hand through his hair at the message, checking the time at the top of the screen. It was late, far too late, so it was safe to assume that Logan had heard about the spat from Virgil. He should have been home by now. It was just… impossible to convince himself to actually leave the rehearsal studio. He had a younger acting class tomorrow and was perfecting his lesson plan- even though he already knew it was perfect, and his director had already approved it. Just, anything to keep him from going home.

He’d been a dick. Such was obvious; from the second his finger had hit send, he regretted approximately everything in his life that had led to this moment. That day had been particularly bad, overrun with rehearsals he was either taking part in or directing, and gearing up for tech week of a large production. Who knew trying to block a scene with a flurry of pre-teens could take so much out of you? Rinse and repeat the cycle with two more classes to teach back to back and an achingly long dance rehearsal, add in a desperate and fruitless search for a replacement lead in his upcoming directorial debut, and you’d have what Roman would categorize as a “shit show of a day”. 

All he wanted to do at the end of it was spend some time with his boyfriend, without having to talk about his day, so he’d suggested the most basic date his fried brain could conjur. Then his work desk was unceremoniously reacquainted with his forehead as he smacked it into the wood, letting out a groan that bordered on a yell. Luckily, minutes ago everyone had abandoned the theatre, and he’d been trusted with the keys to lock up from a stagehand. He just had a couple more things to do, and then he could drive home. 

Getting a reply of denial from Virgil was nothing new. In fact, he’d been warned in the transition from reluctant acquaintanceship to inevitable friendship, that he tended to veto ideas if they were sudden, or too daunting, or if he was just feeling shitty. It was something that Roman never considered a deal breaker, and he’d slowly come to much rather enjoy a night of cuddling and watching television than going out anyways. Call it ‘getting old’, call it ‘Virgil’s homebody ways creeping into his psyche’. So usually, getting his plans rejected was no big deal. 

Except for today, when he was well and past his limit of frustration, and things not going to plan. He’d typed out and sent the snarky reply far before he’d thought it out whatsoever, and ranted out complaints that hadn’t ever crossed his mind before, which he immediately regretted. In a moment of shame so great it caused physical nausea, he tossed his phone into one of his desk drawers and slammed it shut. 

It buzzed once, twice, and then went silent. 

Until, of course, it began to go berserk an indecipherable amount of time later, and Roman couldn’t ignore it. Seeing Logan’s text, along with about a million missed calls from him and Patton, broke the fragile sense of calm he’d tried to achieve while working. 

He didn’t want to go home and face his consequences. Childish, yes. Well deserved, also yes, but he was afraid of Virgil’s inevitable anger. If this led to a breakup, a fight that wasn’t recoverable, he’d never forgive himself. 

And now…

Roman, is everything alright?

-Logan

I can see you’ve read my text message.

-Logan

I’m at work. 

You’re inconceivably moronic. Get home. Now.

-Logan

Roman sighed heavily through his nose, clenching his jaw. He began typing out another snarky response- because apparently he never learned- when another text came through.

Virgil was in significant distress last I spoke to him and he has stopped answering me and Patton. Go. Home.

-Logan

Please. If not for my sake, then for Virgil’s.

-Logan

Fuck.

Roman barely had the sense to lock the doors of the building in his rush, throwing the spare key back in through the mail slot and booking it to his car. He sent some sort of confirmation that he was going and tossed the phone to his back seat. Virgil hated when he used it while driving.

It was only on the drive back, on unusually empty roads, did he realize it was well past nine. He hadn’t even noticed the time passing by.

Most of the lights in the apartment complex were still on when he pulled into the car park, but their window visible on this side showed only darkness. He wasn’t used to entering a dark apartment.

Their flat was silent, the living room only illuminated by the oven clock and the dim city lights from the balcony. He toed off his shoes as silently as he could, wincing when he kicked their shoe rack, and decided he’d risk turning on the light. When he finally found the switch and flicked it on, he couldn’t help his gasp. 

The room had once been a pristine display, he could tell. A white table cloth adorned their usually bare dining room table and a half burned candle stood as its centrepiece. He approached it in a daze, cautiously resting a hand on the plate of ravioli nearest to him. Cold. Long cold; the pasta was starting to get crusty. 

He picked up the two plates, intent on throwing out the food. It definitely wasn’t safe to eat anymore, and he didn’t feel like warding off an attack of ants in the morning. One of the towels hanging off the oven handle was drenched in what looked like marinara sauce, and it looked like there was some more spilled in the crack between the stove and the counter. That would be fun to clean. 

Both hands full, he opened the cupboard containing the garbage bin with a socked foot, and promptly froze. 

Part of him cringed at the clang the dropped plates made on the counter, but the louder part of him was just repeating a mantra of ‘holy shit, holy shit, holy shit’ and it was considerably out-screaming the other. Hands now shaking, Roman picked up the small box from the sink edge, ignoring the dried, crunchy texture of more tomato sauce on the outside, and opened it. 

It took every ounce of strength for Roman not to collapse to his knees, guilt instantly crushing the air from his lungs, a thousand times heavier than it had been before. An elaborate dinner, a ring… there had been a plan. That’s why Virgil had rejected his offer to go out. 

And he’d been such a dick to him. 

Speaking of which, where was he?

Roman closed the box and set it back where it had been. Their bedroom door was slightly ajar, and the most obvious place Virgil would be, so he padded over and creaked it open just a bit more. The light from the hallway cast a beam onto the bed, illuminating first a mess of hastily thrown clothes; his button up shirt he only used for fancy occasions on top of the pile. 

Virgil’s huddled form was easy to make out, curled away from the door, his only movement being the steady rise and fall of the blanket as he breathed. Figaro lifted his head from where he was settled in the crook of Virgil’s knees and gave Roman an indifferent mrow. 

He couldn’t get into bed with him. There was no scenario where that was the right move. It wasn’t the right time to talk about what had happened, not so late and when they were both riding high on emotions and tiredness, so accidentally waking Virgil was not the way to go. And even if he was sneaky enough to not wake him… a part of him just felt it was wrong. Not when he didn’t know Virgil’s stance on him at the moment.

Or his stance on the relationship.

Well, couch it was. He acknowledged the crumpled weighted blanket and sound blocking headphones- clear aftermath of a bad panic attack- with a quiet curse. Somehow that pit in his stomach got even bigger, making him nauseous as his shame took a physical form. 

He could only pray that they would come back from this. 

Roman’s sleep was fitful, to say the least. At best, he drifted into a state of half-consciousness, where his thoughts could be somewhat quieted down, but the discomfort of the couch and the heavy weight in his heart were still palpable. Inevitably, one of their neighbors would make a noise or the building would make a settling creak or a distant dog would bark, and the state would be broken, leaving Roman wide awake and wracked with guilt once more. He’d never noticed how loud the world was until he wanted nothing more than for the noise to stop. 

The sun was just peaking into the window when their bedroom door widened and Roman flew up, using the back of the couch to steady his sudden sitting position. When their eyes met from across the room, Virgil in his pajamas and face hidden in shadow, a tenseness settled over the room that neither had experienced in their relationship thus far. Virgil froze in the doorway, wavering slightly. It didn’t appear he wanted to be the one to break the silence. 

Roman stood slowly, as though not to spook him.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Virgil whispered with a sniff, and even in that one word Roman could hear the scratchiness of his voice. “I just...uhm,” He cleared his throat, “I just wanted to get some water. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I was already awake. No… no worries.” 

Virgil looked down to his feet. “When did you come back?”

“I think just before ten.”

“‘Kay.”

For an all too long moment, both of them seemed to find interest in every part of the room that wasn’t the other’s eyes. It wasn’t until Roman looked towards the kitchen in his awkwardness did he process what Virgil had come out for. 

“I’ll, um…” He pointed weakly to the kitchen and finally convinced his feet to move, filling up a glass from the sink while making a conscious effort to not look at the dishes or wasted food from the evening before. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop the way his gaze drifted towards the box sitting next to the tap, and judging by Virgil’s sharp inhale, the look hadn’t been subtle. 

He took the glass back to the other, watching him take it with an uncomfortable, “Thanks.”

Virgil downed the glass in one go, his shaking hands almost causing him to spill. He barely had time to take a breath before Roman had zipped the empty glass back onto the counter.

“Do you want more?” He asked, already refilling the glass.

“No, I’m… it’s okay.” 

Roman placed the full glass on the counter quietly and the two were swallowed by heavy silence once again. The clock ticked impossibly loud as they stood, fidgeting, wanting this moment to be over but not wanting to be the one to start it. 

Virgil took a shuddering breath and wrung his hands together.

Roman stared resolutely at a single water drop making its way down the glass.

This was his fault. He’d started it. It seemed only right that he break the tension that almost suffocated him, so even as his mind screamed for him to shut up and every muscle in his body turned to liquid, he opened his mouth to speak.

“Virgil, I-”

“I’m sorry.”

That effectively stopped Roman in his tracks. All night, he’d crafted a collection of apologies, from eloquent monologues to stumbling pleas for forgiveness, but in not one of his countless scenarios had Virgil apologized. 

“I know… I know I can be a lot to handle, I know, I swear. And I was more outgoing when we first met, because I thought I had something to prove and it always exhausted me and I hated it but then we became… I don’t know, official? And closer and… and more comfortable and I didn’t think I had to do that anymore, I didn’t have to keep pushing myself so far!”

“V, stop-”

“The panic attacks and the anxiety and all that shit are a lot for other people and I know that but I didn’t know it was too much for you, I didn’t know you were tired of that and I can be better, I swear, I swear I can go back to how I was in the beginning, just please don’t leave.”

Virgil let out a choked sob and Roman couldn’t stop himself from rushing forward, intent on holding his stupid, stupid boyfriend until he realized this was in no way his fault, only for Virgil to back up before he could do so.

“I’m- I’m not trying to guilt you, I’m sorry, I just, I love you, and I can be better, I can, just give me a chance, please-”

“Virgil, baby, come here.”

This time when he reached forward, Virgil allowed himself to be pulled into his boyfriend’s chest, basically collapsing against him as soon as Roman’s arms tightened around him. The dam broke moments later and Virgil finally let go of his own hands to grab the back of Roman’s shirt with a sense of urgency.

“Please don’t leave, I’m so sorry,” he begged raspily into Roman’s shoulder.

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

Roman hung onto him almost as tightly in return, rocking them back and forth, finally allowing himself to cry. He shoved his face into Virgil’s hair, peppering small kisses and apologies to the crown of his head in between sobs. 

Virgil whined when Roman finally pulled away, but he didn’t go far, cradling his boyfriend’s face in his hands and wiping his tacky cheeks with his thumbs.

“Virgil, I cannot apologize enough for yesterday.”

“What are-” he hiccuped, “What are you talking about? It was my fault.”

“No, no, no no no no no,” Roman whispered, fighting that damn lump in his throat once more. “I had a spectacularly shitty day, and I took it out on you. I was leagues out of line. It wasn’t fair to you and I’m so, so unbelievably sorry.” 

As if the strings were cut on a marionette, all the tenseness dissolved from Virgil’s shoulders and he slumped forward, bumping his head weakly into Roman’s chest. “Can we sit down?”

“Yeah, of course.” Roman clumsily led him to the couch and sat on the adjacent cushion, assuming that if Virgil wanted to talk, he’d want his own space. His assumption was incorrect, however, judging by how Virgil crossed the space almost instantly and buried himself in Roman’s side like a koala. He shifted them both until he was laying on his back, Virgil splayed across him .

“I thought you’d be more upset with me,” He muttered, freeing his hand to run it through Virgil’s hair. His fingers raked through his own tears trapped in the locks and he grimaced.

“I don’t know what I’m feeling right now,” responded Virgil, accompanied by a shuddering breath, “I just need to know that you’re really here. And I need you.”

They were quiet for a moment, watching the sun begin to peek through their window, until Virgil spoke again sardonically.

“If this is a dream, I’m gonna be so pissed.”

Roman snorted despite himself and felt Virgil’s responding half-laugh from where he was tucked against him.  

“I agree. I thought I’d fucked up for good this time.”

A disgruntled meow made Roman crane his neck over the couch, watching Figaro stretch languidly in their bedroom doorway. The cat sidled over to his food bowl and sat pointedly next to it. Feed me. 

“Later, Figaro,” Roman groaned, all too comfortable with Virgil as his blanket. A small part of him was worried that if he moved them at all, the spell would be broken, and they’d lose whatever peace they’d settled into. 

Well, that wouldn’t do at all, not by Figaro’s standards. The cat gave an upset mewl and trotted over to the couch, leaping up with grace and batting Virgil’s legs. It was that pettish action that made Roman realize that Virgil had turned stone still on his lap. Figaro changed his approach to headbutting at his arm in a clear attempt to get pets, but Virgil’s hand stayed still by their sides. 

“What’s going through your head?” Roman murmured. 

“That stuff you said, about me… not contributing to the relationship…” Virgil croaked, and Roman stilled,  “What can I do to-… to fix that? Because I wanna fix it.”

“Baby, no,” Roman whispered, that shame-nausea returning, “I-” He groaned, dropping his head onto the arm of the couch behind him, “I was being an asshole. I didn’t mean that.”

Virgil didn’t budge, still deliberately ignoring Figaro’s futile begging for attention. “Then where did it come from?”

He took a breath deep enough that Virgil rose and fell with his chest, and Roman was struck with the profound urge to pull him closer and never let him go. But that would likely make him feel trapped, and that wasn’t productive. “You remember when I dragged you to that improv show my students put on last year?”

“You introduced me as your boyfriend and we found out the class had placed bets on whether you were gay or not. I don’t know how it wasn’t obvious.”

Roman gasped in mock offense. “Maybe they just were trying not to stereotype!”

“Your phone case is a rainbow-”

“Anyways!” He interrupted, resuming his gentle threading through Virgil’s hair, who snorted but otherwise gave in to the affection. “Remember what happened after?”

“Mmhm.”

It had been a fantastic show, and Roman had been exceedingly proud of his little students, especially since it was his first time ever teaching a class. After the night, when the betting chaos had settled and everyone quickly adopted Virgil as theirs now, they’d pleaded to play a few more improv games before the theatre closed. Seeing as it was their last class, hence the performance in the first place, Roman had acquiesced. But neither of the men had expected for the gang of pre-teens to latch onto Virgil and beg him to play too, despite him having zero theatre experience. 

“Remember what they said?”

“They tried to pack all your lectures into five minutes of information.”

“I don’t lecture, I dazzle.” 

“They thought you were straight.” 

“Only some, and that’s not the point!”

Virgil finally lifted his head, pulling his hands up so he could lay his chin on top of them. He smiled weakly. “Then what is the point?”

“The most important rule of improv is to keep the scene going. No matter what nonsense you have to pull out, just never leave a scene flat.”

There was a quiet moment while the other processed that before, once again, that layer of hurt reappeared on his face. He pushed himself off Roman’s chest in preparation to get up. “So… you’re saying you saw that argument as another scene you had to keep up.”

“No, shit, that came out wrong,” Roman insisted, and Virgil paused suspiciously, “I’m saying, that in a moment of panic, I fell back on bullshitting my way through it! That’s literally what I do for a living!” 

The distrust gave way to resignment and Virgil chewed on his cheek, turning his attention to the window. He sat all the way up on Roman’s legs, leaning back on his shins. “How do I know you’re not bullshitting me right now?” He said. 

“Because,” Roman followed him up, careful not to move his legs and dislodge his boyfriend, “You know I like when the bed is made, and even though you hate making it, you always do when I’m out of the house before you.”

Virgil looked down at his thumb.

“Because you let me choose the music in the car.”

“... you don’t like loud music,” He muttered, picking at the skin around his cuticle.

“You adjust your work schedule to come to every single one of my shows.”

He shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Yeah, but you hate working mornings. You let me rant about all my theatre stuff, even if you don’t get any of it.”

“I’m learning.” A faint smile was breaking through.

“You tell me when there’s spinach in my teeth, or my hair is messy, or if I’m acting like an asshole.”

“Well, that’s easy enough.”

Roman reciprocated the smile at that, taking Virgil’s hands in his own to stop the attack at his nail. “I’ve been watching you better yourself for years, even if it’s been really, really hard.”

“What does that have to do with us?” Virgil asked with a small blush, switching his fidgeting tactic to fiddling with Roman’s fingers. 

“Every time you do something that betters yourself, you help us, Virgil.” He leaned forward slowly, giving Virgil the time to move away if he wanted to, and rested their foreheads together. “Yesterday, I fucked up. Badly. You said you were anxious and I still acted like a dick. I kinda thought you’d hate me.”

“I could never hate you,” Virgil whispered, seemingly before he had a chance to process it, because his blush multiplied tenfold. Roman grinned. 

“Aw, is someone feeling sappy?”

“Shut up, jackass,” He retorted, bonking their heads together ever so gently. 

“I’m so sorry, Virgil,” Roman said after their giggles and blushes had faded, “It won’t happen again, I swear.” 

In lieu of answering, Virgil closed the already scant distance between their lips, and despite Roman using all of his self control to not sigh into it, he found himself doing so anyways. All the tension bled out of his shoulders at once as Virgil pulled away, pressing one more peck to the tip of his nose, and then leaning back with a small smile. 

“So… that means we’re good?”

“We’re good.”

“Thank god,” Roman groaned, flopping back and dropping his arm over his eyes dramatically. He heard Virgil’s quiet snicker before he resumed his job as a blanket. Except this time, instead of nuzzling his head into Roman’s neck, he could feel the distinct edge of a chin digging into his sternum.

The hand lifted from his eyes to see Virgil staring at him, that goofy little smirk on his face. 

“What?”

“I love you, idiot.”

Well, now they were wearing matching goofy little smirks. 

“I love you too.” 

That seemed to satiate him, because he gave a little nod and laid his head more comfortably on the other’s chest. He could have left the conversation there, content to just let them lay there in peace until the world fell away- or Figaro grew more insistent on being fed- but Roman just couldn’t banish the one persistent thought in the back of his mind. 

“Were you actually going to propose?” He blurted.

Virgil tensed for a moment, and then gave a resigned sigh. “...Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Roman furrowed his eyebrows, desperately hoping he sounded casual, though his heart was pounding far too loudly to not be heard, “I would have said yes. If you did.”

“Oh?” Virgil lifted his head. “You’re blushing, Princey.” He could hear the smug grin.

“Nooo…” Roman whined. His arm draped once more over his eyes in a weak attempt to hide the redness, but he drew it away only moments later when Virgil didn’t retort. 

The man was staring at him with an odd mix of disappointment and amusement, huffing out a breath as he watched Roman’s eyes.

“This wasn’t how I was planning to propose,” He sighed, “It was supposed to be all perfect, and romantic, and stuff. And the surprise is ruined now.”

“I’m sorry,” whispered Roman, continuing before Virgil could cut him off, “If it’s any consolation, I think a proposal in our pajamas, on the couch, would be very us.”

“You’re not in pajamas.”

“I slept in these clothes, they count as pajamas.”

Virgil snickered. Roman counted five breaths as the other’s face melted from a smile to anxiously knit brows, worrying his lip between his teeth as he looked down at him. It took another three for him to speak.

 “So…uh... will you…?”

Roman’s face split into a grin, “Yes, Virgil. Obviously.” 

Virgil’s expression morphed to match his and he swooped down to kiss him again, though they barely could with how much they were smiling. They both devolved into giggles, happy to just stay wrapped in each other’s arms, until Virgil broke away with a gasp.

“Let me grab the ring!”

“Ring can wait,” Roman argued, tightening his grip around his waist to keep him in place, “I want cuddles.”

And so they did.

Taglist:

@max-is-tired

@private-snippers

@joylessnightsky

@marshymoop

@larkiaquail

@noemiescuriosity

@mycatshuman

@cirishere

@vpow

@ray-does-stuff

@sirprplsnail

[serpentinesomebody]

Why Janus Planned The Entirety Of His Own Acceptance Arc From The Very Beginning

I think that Janus planned everything. From his reveal all the way to POF, he mapped it all out like a game of chess. And I think I finally know why, too.

So let’s start at his goals. He represents deceit, and has the goal of self-preservation. Additionally, however, he wants the one thing all sides want: for Thomas to listen to them.

Janus’ introduction is very different from Virgil’s. Thomas didn’t even know about him. And when things settle down, we get an idea as to what his first impression of Janus is: he’s scared of him, and skeptical, too. He doesn’t trust him. But this is exactly what Janus wanted. But why? Why present himself as a frightening and untrustworthy side? How could that possibly benefit him or Thomas?

Well, let’s look at what would have happened if just appeared and introduced himself as, well, himself. No disguises, no theatre scenario, none of that.

Well for one, Thomas probably wouldn’t be as afraid of him. What scared Thomas so much, I think, was that Janus was able to disguise himself for almost half an hour and he didn’t even know. And until Patton appeared at the end, he truly believed that he had no morality, that it was Janus the entire time. He gets the impression that this new side can manipulate him, and quite easily, too. So not only does he not trust this new side, but he’s scared of him, too.

But if Janus introduced himself upfront? Thomas still wouldn’t trust him, but there wouldn’t be much fear either. Thomas would likely just see him as a simple nuisance. He just doesn’t naturally invoke the same fear that Virgil does. Without the fear factor, he only has distrust.

But why would Thomas not trust him if he introduced himself upfront?

Well, he has multiple things going against him. His primary function is deceit. Not exactly helping his case. But let’s say they look past that. Well, he also has a ‘snake face,’ which really doesn’t make him come across as an honest, well-meaning person. Lastly, pretty much all the sides do not like him. Virgil makes his full-on hatred pretty obvious, and Logan certainty doesn’t seem to like him much either. Patton sees him as an antagonist, his opposite. Roman appreciates his charm, but still sees him as a creepy villain nonetheless. All the sides are against him, so how could he convince Thomas to trust him?

But if trying to intimidate Thomas into listening to him won’t work, and being honest won’t work, what will?

Deceiving him.

He knows that even if he’s honest, Thomas still will not trust him. So if Thomas isn’t going to trust him either way, he needs to find a way to manipulate the situation so that even if Thomas won’t listen to him at the moment, he still has control over the situation.

The first episode with Janus goes perfectly according to plan.

One thing that always struck me as odd was that this was the situation that Janus decided he needed to be involved in? Some texting drama?

But that’s exactly what Janus needed. He needed something small, something he could ensure he could manage. If he had made his first appearance in SVS, that would be way too much for Thomas to take in at once, and Thomas wouldn’t have any clue as to what Janus was like. Janus introduced himself over something minor, something insignificant that he wasn’t truly needed for, for the sole purpose of leaving an impression. He meant to reveal himself at the end.

Now let’s move on to SVS. This time, Janus drops the disguise much earlier. And it’s so, so obvious that this was intentional. Janus says things he knows Logan would never say. Hell, Janus doesn’t often use metaphors himself. He proposes hypothetical situations and uses similes, but when does he ever say anything like ‘straight from the horse’s mouth’?

So if he dropped the disguise so early, why even bother doing it in the first place? Simple: he just needed to buy himself a bit more time before Logan came. He needed to ensure that the courtroom scenario was already set up. Janus knew that Logan would be upset that he wasn’t included in a courtroom scenario and would possibly try to insert himself into one of the roles that Janus didn’t want him in.

This begs the question, though, why have Logan on the sidelines?

Because Janus knows that Logan is an intelligent and professional person, and would likely point out that the trial wasn’t exactly following legal code. So, Janus benches him.

As for Patton, well, it just makes the most sense that he would be in the position he was. Patton is the one that Janus is trying to oppose.

But what about Virgil? Why have Virgil as the jury? Why decide that the one person who hates him the most, who is the most biased against him, gets to decide who wins the case? Simple: Janus knows that Virgil will still let him win the case. But how does he have so much faith in that? Because he knows Virgil. They have history, and by now, Virgil’s actions are predictable to him. Virgil is a pessimist by nature, and blunt. He won’t lie to Thomas and say that he thinks he’s a good person just to spare Thomas’ feelings. Janus knows that despite what Virgil thinks of him, he will judge Thomas as guilty.

As for Roman? Janus may not know Roman as well as Virgil, but Roman is predictable. When it comes to morals, he will follow Patton, no matter what. He has to in order to keep up his image as the hero. So, Janus knows that Virgil will judge Thomas as guilty, and he knows that Roman will sentence Thomas to go to the wedding because he knows that Roman knows that that’s what Patton wants.

That was his entire goal for that episode: ensure that Thomas goes to the wedding.

And the reason he needs Thomas to go to the wedding is because it sets the stage for POF.

Janus knows that Thomas will be upset after the wedding, and he knows that Thomas’ mood will have an effect on Patton. His first goal in the episode, aside from bringing up a few facts, is to get Patton to snap. He needs Thomas to see that sometimes Patton doesn’t always know everything, that things are more complicated then that. And, more importantly, he needs to present himself as the hero this time.

As I said, Janus knows that Roman will side with Patton no matter what. So if Roman is by Patton’s side, then who’s there for Thomas?

He is.

Janus presents himself as the hero. This scene is such a crucial moment. He’s clearly trying to portray the image that he is on Thomas’ side.

But if that’s the case, then why does he dodge Patton’s attack and let Thomas get hit instead?

He feels like he has no other choice. Patton is still insisting that it’s dangerous for Thomas to take self-care too far. The only way Janus can get Patton to see that he’s hurting Thomas is...to let Patton literally, physically hurt Thomas. This, I think, is probably the most difficult thing Janus has ever had to do thus far. Thomas’ safety and happiness is his one goal, there is no one who he puts before Thomas, not even himself.

It’s the hardest thing Janus has had to do, but it works. Patton finally realizes, finally admits that he doesn’t know everything.

Janus is so close to getting accepted.

But there’s one problem left: Roman.

Roman doesn’t trust Janus. And here’s the thing: Janus needed Patton to accept him, yes, but Roman was also a crucial component. I don’t think Janus’ intention was to antagonize Roman, rather, I think he wanted Roman’s approval. Pushing Thomas’ hero down doesn’t help anyone, especially Thomas. He has Patton’s approval, now he needs Roman’s. He needs Roman, Thomas’ hero, to see him as one too. And that, that is where he made a horrible mistake.

He tried to get Roman to take a liking to him in the courtroom, not by much, of course, since he still wanted Roman to sentence Thomas to the wedding after all, but enough for Roman to not be completely against him.

But he screwed up. Roman realized that Janus’ praise in the courtroom wasn’t 100% honest, and now he full-on hates Janus.

The way Janus tries to fix this, I think, is by giving his name. Granted, I’m sure that he would have done it sometime during POF anyway, but he thinks that it’s enough to change Roman’s mind and it isn’t.

This, I think, is the real reason why Janus is so harsh when Roman makes fun of his name.

What he expects is going to happen, is that Roman is going to warm up to him a bit. Or at the least, that he’ll stop spiraling/panicking and take a minute to truly listen to Janus, perhaps allow him to explain himself.

But that’s not what happens. And Janus just snaps.

Because he was so close, so close to wrapping up his acceptance in a perfect, neat little bow and it is ruined.

Sure, he still had his relationship with Virgil and Logan to work on, but if Patton and Roman were on his side, Thomas would be too. And it would be three against two, meaning he’d likely get a permanent seat at the table. He could fix his relationship with Virgil and Logan later, but he needed a seat at the table. Yes, his plan is kinda rushed, but he wants to get to Thomas as fast as possible so he can help him with things like this in the future-things where there could be even more important things at stake. I’m sure he didn’t want to hurt anyone, but he felt like he had to go with this plan in order to help in the long-term.

But Roman laughs at his name and he is so frustrated, so tired, and he doesn’t know how else he can try to get Roman on his side and he snaps.

Afterwards, you can tell he regrets it. He knows he messed up.

And when Thomas says that Roman is still his hero, Roman turns to Janus in a silent question of ‘is he lying?’ But Janus interprets it as, ‘is he telling the truth?’ and so he nods. And when he sees that Roman is upset, he realizes that there was a miscommunication between them, but before he can do anything about it, Roman is already gone.

TLDR: All of Janus’ actions are planned to get him a seat at the table, except for when he snaps and calls Roman ‘the evil twin,’ and fucks up majorly.

[beauty-and-passion]

Hey, sup! So... I noticed that you like to do theories and all kinds of reasoning. THEREFORE I brought you a good brainstorm theme (well, I think it's a good one, and hasn't been discussed yet) *trumpet sounds* "How do you think the rooms of the other sides will look like?"

Ho-hooo, very nice ask we got here! Time to extensively talk about something very cool!

Possible Rooms Thomas Can Make In Real Life

Let’s start with the canonical definition of a Side’s room, given during AA-part 2:

[Logan]: The room just varies based on whatever your present location is.

So, if Thomas is in his house, the room will be the Side’s version of said house. If he’s outside, the room will change as well.

Having said that, let’s pretend Thomas will always show us the Sides’ rooms while he’s at home. Being outside requires too many variants, so let’s keep this in the realm of possibilities.

Of course I will also talk about how I think the rooms work. But it will require another post, because this one will be long enough.

________________

Roman

Roman’s room is probably the next one we will see and, considering Roman is Creativity, Ego and a huge Disney fan, I’m pretty sure his room will be plastered with Disney posters, drawings, theater posters, Thomas’ posters and mirrors everywhere. Nothing else. All tables are covered with theater scripts, all floors are covered with more scripts and rejected ideas. Kitchen? More like “another place where to put all my ideas”. Living room? Yes, there should be a couch somewhere under all those scripts.

In other words, the literal representation of “creative confusion”. And while under normal circumstances this could be the result of a bubbling creativity, in Roman’s case it could also work as a way to show how confused and depressed he is. The confusion wouldn’t be something like “it seems chaotic but it actually makes sense for me”, but more like “everything has no meaning anymore. Who cares”.

________________

Logan

Considering his character, Logan’s room could be a completely perfect replica of Thomas’ room, but a lot cleaner and a lot more empty. No knick-knacks, no food lying around. Something that looks more like a display home, rather than a real one.

But with books. A lot more books. Shelves filled with books everywhere, all perfectly organized. Do you need a book about this or that topic? Logan knows exactly which is the best one and where it’s located in his home.

Also, it can work for his upcoming arc: since Logan has more and more issues with accepting his own feelings, a place completely devoid of any personality would be a great way to show how hard he’s trying to keep everything under control, even in his own personal space.

________________

Janus

Considering we have only one season left, I doubt we will see the other three dark sides’ rooms, but what would they look like, if Thomas decides to show us?

Janus’ room is the most difficult one, because there are a lot of possibilities. It could be dark and mysterious, with smokes and mirrors everywhere for... obvious reasons. It could look like a 1920′s version of Thomas’ house. It could be Thomas’ house, but with opposite colors.

Or it could be how Thomas’ house looks like, but seen on the other side of a mirror. In other words: everything switched, from the position of every room, to the smallest things. The kitchen has always been on the right? Now it’s on the left. The stairs are on the left? Now they’re on the right. The couch is on the right? Now it’s on the left. All the books in the library are switched places, every single little thing is on the opposite side.

Just imagine how YOUR own house would look like, if everything is on the opposite side compared to where it actually is. A fucking trip, I would bump into every wall and get lost 200 times a day XD However, it should be possible to realize, with some editing and by switching places.

________________

Remus

That’s an easy one: Thomas goes outside, dumps the camera into a trash bin and bam, we’re in Remus’ room.

Jokes aside, Remus’ room should have a lot in common with Roman’s: still creative chaos but a lot messier, considering Remus is the part of Thomas’ creativity that can’t pour his thoughts out too much. Less mirrors because who cares and more creepy stuff. A LOT MORE. Would Remus have a human anatomy mannequin with removable organs? Sure. Would Remus like taxidermy and have stuffed animals everywhere? Yes. Would he have the creepiest paintings possible? Absolutely. Would he have a lot of chemical stuff to throw together and see what could happen? Of course. Would his room catch fire at least once a week? Obviously.

In other words: Roman would hate the place, Logan would love it, Patton would be extremely concerned, Virgil would exorcize it at least once a week and Janus would just sigh and grab the nearest fire extinguisher because, sooner or later, something will surely catch fire.