#is it nonsense? yes. but its hilarious to think about

[puppygirlpodcast]

Bluster the Gigantic Horse is Flinch, to me.

[donut-entendre]

what is your “spaghetti donut AU?” it seems really cool

OUUUUUGH okay the best I can summarize without spoiling too much is basically I looked at Donut's numerous "deaths" and looked at a lot of weird lines from him and said this man is a horror movie monster (the og joke 'theory') And then it spiraled out to an AU where Donut is in fact a weird spaghetti monster that I am... still actively figuring out how he works BUT I can summarize with "what if the Thing and the carrion monster had the personality of Donut" and uh now he's a worm to me. forever. a worm (he is many worms but they all ID as the same guy so?) who's carrying around the world's most mentally ill ex-villains because it's hilarious. they;re all scared of him. he eats cat food and raw yeast and he is a man who will see a mouse and eat it. at some point I decided he was a cat before he got his hands on a human shape because his name is donut. look me in the eyes and tell me that "Franklin Delano Donut" is not the most cat name you have ever heard in your life. anyway hes sooooo normal [donut violence happening loudly in another room but i close the door with my foot]

I have sideblog for it where I mostly rb things that make me go ah yes the worms and I also have an ask blog but I have been a tired little boy lately

[ellecdc]

may i pretty please request more potter!reader x barty 🤲 whatever you feel like darling, though if you need ideas i think i’d be hilarious if james insists on joining reader to the slytherin common room bc he “doesn’t trust” barty and then him just being extremely uncomfortable while the slytherin skittles are their usual chaotic selves

ooooh Barty & our potter!reader. thanks for your request! <3

Barty Crouch Jr x Potter!reader who should date a nice Slytherin like Evan [644 words]

CW: summoning demons as a pass time, Slytherin skittle nonsense, James is way in over his head

“He did what!?” James beseeched as he and Regulus sat down in the Slytherin common room across from you. 

Regulus smirked as he shot you a knowing look. “He released a malevolent poltergeist that was restricted to the haunted hall of the dungeons into Central Hall. Dumbledore and Filch are currently trying to negotiate with it in hopes to get it to return to its designated section of the castle.” 

“A poltergeist worse than Peeves!?” James asked, causing Regulus to cock his head at him.

“You consider Peeves malevolent?”

James blinked at his boyfriend. “Well…I wouldn’t exactly consider him …volent…” 

“Salazar.” Regulus muttered under his breath as he pulled out a book. “Yes, Jamie, worse than Peeves.”

“Bug!” James exclaimed, turning his comically wide eyes (only magnified by the thickness of his glasses) towards your casually curled up form.

“Yeah?” You asked nonplussed as you turned a page in this week's Witch Weekly. 

“What on earth did Junior do!?” 

You looked up at your brother with a look mixed with concern and confusion. “Erm…well, as Regulus just said, he released a-”

“I heard what Regulus said!” James barked as Barty and Evan entered the room; Evan moving to sit politely in a wingback chair whilst Barty languidly rolled over the back of the sofa you were sitting on and laid his body atop yours, which you readily accepted by lifting your arms with your magazine over his head so he could rest his head against your chest. 

“Oh, are we talking about Donny?” Barty asked casually, though he kept his face shoved in the junction of your neck. 

“‘Donny’?” Regulus snickered as James looked at him in horror.

“You named a poltergeist Donny?!” 

“I didn’t name the poltergeist Donny, Potter.” Barty sneered. “It’s a nickname; it’s short for Abaddon.” 

James let out a desperate, disbelieving sound as he turned his attention to you. “Bug, listen; out of all the Slytherin’s, really? Junior? Don’t get me wrong, I get the appeal, really, I do; but why couldn’t you have picked a nice Slytherin, like Evan?”

His question was answered with a snort from his own boyfriend. “Well which is it, James? Do you want her to date a nice Slytherin, or do you want her to date Evan?” 

“Careful what you wish for, there, Potter.” Evan jeered from his seat. 

“You’ve not got a leg to stand on here, Jamie.” You replied simply. “Not only are you and your lot responsible for the sodding squid in the Black Lake, but your own boyfriend is the one who summoned Donny to begin with.” 

“You what!?” 

“Yeah!” Barty chimed in. “I only released him from the dungeons, Regulus is the one who invited him here to begin with!” 

“Why would you do such a thing!?”

Regulus simply shrugged his shoulders. “Evan bet me ten galleons I couldn’t do it.”

“And why would you do that!?” James directed to Evan who also shrugged his shoulders.

“I was bored.” 

“Merlin’s tits.” James whispered in horror as he stared at the floor unseeingly. “They’re sodding mad…”

“Ha ha.” Barty taunted. “You’re in love with the criminally insane.” 

You simply snorted and offered Barty a chaste peck on the lips before he once again rested his cheek on your chest. “Surprised it took you this long to notice, James.” 

“They’ve not exactly been subtle.” Evan added. 

“What are you saying, Evan?” Barty tried to bark, though the way his face was basically shoved into the fabric of your jumper seriously diminished any severity he tried to imbue. “Subtle is my middle name.” 

“That’d make your initials B.S.” Evan continued, causing Regulus to snicker.

Barty hummed in thought. “No, nevermind. I prefer B.J, thanks.”

“Don’t we all.” Regulus added salaciously, and you nearly choked at the abashed look that took over your brother’s face.

“Welcome to the snake pit, Jamie.”

[dahliascophin]

The first time the characters have sex I imagine is quite different from the 'normal way' or what they usually do. Like, I think Josh is not the "romantic" type in that setting (maybe after), but just brutal. I think Mike doesn't really do well the first time (a little awkward, don't come after me), but this is just the first time, right? Chris is SUPER romantic, but also quite awkward the first time, not really knowing what you like and stuff. In that section, I think Mike and Chris is quite alike. I'll put Matt in that category too.

I just think Josh will go all the way, and learn everything about you SOOOOOO fast compared to the others.

THIS IS SO CUTE SO LIKE FIRST TIME HAVING SEX THING?? HEHEHEH I LOVE THIS IDEA

i'm going to be writting this as in they are virgins and they lose their virginity to you, someone with a little more experience since it would definitely make the boys that awkward like you said and because writting from my point of view ( non virgin ) is quite difficult lol.

Virgin!UTD men with experienced reader!

( Mike might be a bit ooc cuz he is a plaaaaayboy 🥲 )

Josh

- i think he is going to be the freakiest virgin known to man, he watches porn and makes it very obvious and talks about it. He hypes himself up so much about it no one thinks he's a virgin for god sake

- But then you come along telling him he could put his hype to the test with you and he agrees without hesitation- despite his tone seeming mildly nervous. He takes the lead with pushing you against the door of your room after you close it, hot and heavy making out. It's actually pretty good first time around, his hands resting on your throat while his tongue is down your throat.

- his hand traveling down to unbutton your jeans and slip a hand down to trail two fingers through your core, the wetness from just making out makes Josh moean breathily into your throat while he marks and kisses down it Not overly romantic but not completely uncaring about his actions either, he tugs your jeans down and picks you up with ease as he throws you onto the edge of the bed- forcefully spreading your legs apart to get a good view of the damp spot on your underwear :')

- once you're actually getting to the fucking part he is surpisingly good with his hips, he leans in by your head and in a very deep tone tells you "You..you..know.. i... kinda.. practiced for you.. with a fleshlight?... held it down like i would hold.. you down.. and just fucked it until i couldnt?..." moaning the words into your neck with the filthies voice. Making sure you know just how much he wants you by speaking filthy incoherent nonsense while he fucks you at an unbelievably deep angle

- afterwards he looks at you and laughs and goes "You know what's hilarious...that was the first time i've ever fucked someone-" and you're looking at him completely baffled and amazed.. then leading to another round of you showing him what you can do.

Chris

- I'm gonna be real i think Chris would be awkward and be fine admitting he's a virgin at the start but i think he's a secret freak like.. Josh or more levels of freak i thinm he watches porn way too much 😭😭 like him and Josh probably send eachother porn they think the other would be into

- Chris is so fucking shakey and nervous when you ask him if he wants some experience, but noticing how nervous he is you assure him its fine if he doesn't but he immediately retorts with "No!no.. well.. yes- i-... please?..." you look at him with a surpised grin, taking his hand and leading him to your room and pushing him to sit on the edge of your bed slinging a leg over his hip with your thigh between his legs you lean down to kiss him, but stopping beforehand and asking him if you can and without hesitation he grabs your face with two hands and kisses you, its messy and rough but it's so hot. his hand leads down to your hips as he falls back onto the bed, dragging you down with him, now straddling his hips as your clothed core rests over his very prominent boner.

- ( CHRIS LOVES DRY HUMPING IDC!! ) You try to move forward to climbs over him but his strong hands keep you placed over his hard-on, slightly guiding your hips to grind down on him as he ruts upwards, making the friction dull and needy. you place your hands on his chest and roll your hips down onto his without his help Chris' voice cutting off with heavy breaths and soft sounds. once he gets too needy and too pent up he finally grabs you and flips you onto your back, slotting himself between your legs. Very slowly and deliberately taking your pants and underwear off, but frantically and quickly taking his own off out of desperation. he 100% will rub himself against you in a teasing manner before he slides himself in.

- Chris grabbing a pillow to slot under your hips- finding yourself amazed that this man is a virgin with so much knowledge. he finds that spot so fucking fast and knows he needs to also tend to your clit or else it wont be as fun for you. Finding that he feels close he pulls out, completely put of breath as he whimpers at the sensation- but props himself onto his knees and eats you out just to make sure you finish at least once before he does. groaning and moaning as you pull his hair roughly while he gets you over the edge, finding yourself begging for him to fuck you- his own restraint at an all time low. He fucks you and he fucks you rough, you end up finishing again on his cock while he also finishes, the overstimulation from him eating you out sending you into another orgasm faster than the first, then leading to Chris cumming the hardest he ever has.

Matt

- Awkward virgin with little to no knowledge. Definitely would be more of a submissive guy for his first time, finding he would prefer for someone to inform and lead him, he finds himself insecure over being a virgin but when you propose to help him out he nervously obliges to your question.

- You have to make the first moves, poor boy is so nervous :(. But thinking about having him sit down with his thigh spread while you tease and suck him off, his legs trembling after just a few seconds, embarrassingly close from just a few twists of his cock and some slobber, he whimpers that he's close but when you keep going his voice skyrockets in octave as he grips your hair/head roughly, finishing in under 5 mins :( he feels so bad so he has you lay down so he can take care of you to redeem himself. His fingers softly trailing from your core to your clit, rubbing softly and slowly- almost painfully teasing you, finding your squirming so fucking hot.

- He's quick to learn with his tongue and how to position his fingers, he has a habit of moaning into your pussy bcus he cant get enough of your little sounds and he feels so fucking accomplished. he makes you finish and sucks his fingers while you watch bcus he thinks thats hot lol, and then licks a fat fucking stripe up your stomach and to your nipples, while he slides himself in, gasping into your chest with an iron grip

- he fucks you slow, but sadly cums under a minute :( he will tale a rest and go again though.. many times..

Mike

- Oh poor Mike. oh god where do i start LMFAO, pre-playboy Mike is... by far the most awkward, not exposed to any sexual stuff prior and you cannot beat around the bush when asking him if you can take his virginity, and at first he's like "WHAT?!" and then you coax him into it and maybe you tease the poor boy with some pornos omg.. corrupting him would be so fucking fun.this is my own evil thought that i'll probably write in a different fic thing but.. getting Mike a little tipsy so he's easier to persuade but not pushing him into anything he doesn't want or seems overly nervous to do? yes. god i love thinking of Mike as actually being a loser at heart and not actually being as big of a Playboy as he seems..

- back to the teasing him with pornos but like imagine showing Mike like hardcore porn? like choking kink and its rough and loud and he's just sat staring mouth open with a huge fucking boner he is failing terribly at hiding, tossing your phone and straddling his hips on your bed, grinding against his crotch while he breathes heavy and weakly explains "I-i've never.. um.. i've never actually.. done this before.." and you pushing him onto his back while you dry hump him into cumming in his fucking pants 😵‍💫

- sucking him off and he finishes in under 30 seconds and is embarrassed and acting all cranky and mad about it, lightly pushing you off while he sulks, you quietly undressing behind him on the bed and tapping his shoulder for him to turn around, seeing you naked and splayed making all his anger and frustration with himself dissipate as he slots himself between, i dont see him as someone who would be comfortable eating someone out first time he has sex :') he's a lik stingy alright.

- you ride him, he is guilty of being too inexperienced to feel comfortable on top, but.. he does use his hands on your throat while you ride him, finding your breathless face and voice to be the hottest thing know to man, hence unlocking his choking kink from then on. You take his other hand and show him how to thumb at your clit, he quickly learns that and helps you cum on his cock, himself following quick after

THIS TOOK SO LONG MY APOLOGIES i hope it's as good as you wished if not pls dm with what else you would like in another fic!!

[daytaker]

Chat Log: A Human Child Arrives in the Devildom

Beelzebub: I don’t remember. Beelzebub: I don't remember that either. Mammon: Oi, Beel, what the hell are you saying? Satan: That isn’t Beel. It’s “the new human exchange student”. Mammon: Why are ya sayin’ that in quotes? Satan: You’ll see. Mammon: The hell does that mean?! Beelzebub: I fell. Beelzebub: I fell out a tree and then I was here. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. I thought I said to look after the human child. Why is it sending nonsense in the chat? Asmo: It can’t talk, so we’re asking it questions out loud and having it answer like this! Lucifer: Why did you not create a new chat where you could interrogate it without annoying the rest of us? Satan: Convenience. This chat already existed. Mammon: Whoa whoa whoa, did you say human CHILD? Why the hell did you guys recruit a child? Lucifer: We didn’t. Something appears to have gone wrong in the summoning process. Barbatos is attempting to resolve the issue as we speak. Mammon: Is the kid still in the chat? Asmodeus: Yes, Beel loaned it his phone. Mammon: Hey kid, ya like ice cream? Beelzebub: Yes. Mammon: Well, I got a massive chocolate cone for any human kid who’s willing to come hang out around the central plaza for a few hours. Demons’ll pay good money to get a look at a genuine human child.  Mammon: Hey, Asmo, is it cute? Beelzebub: They want me to tell you I'm not going anywhere with you. Asmodeus: Yeah, leave the poor thing alone! It probably misses its parents! Asmodeus: And yes, it’s adorable! ♡ Mammon: Good, folks’ll pay more for that. Leviathan: Whaaaaaat? Sorry, just backread, but wow! You guys isekai’d a BABY to RAD? LOLOLOLOL Beelzebub: I’m not a baby. Lucifer: I apologize for the delay in sending this message. I was occupied with Diavolo and Barbatos. Lucifer: Mammon, if you take that child out in public and it gets eaten, I will flay you alive. Beelzebub: Do demons eat kids? Mammon: Yep. Mammon: They’re pretty freakin’ delicious too. Way better than old people. Mammon: ‘Cause they’re softer. Lucifer: Shut up and listen. Lucifer: Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem as if this issue is going to be resolved as quickly as I had hoped. Lucifer: Mammon, if I leave you in charge of the human until tomorrow, do you think you can keep it alive? Mammon: What? Why me? Ain’t Asmo and Satan there already? Lucifer: I hesitate to entrust a child to either Asmo or Satan for any extended period of time due to certain personality defects each of them possess. Asmodeus: Rude!!! Mammon: What about Beel? Lucifer: Beel would certainly eat it. Mammon: …Yeah, I guess that’s fair. Lucifer: Satan, Asmo, Beel. Please take the human to the school gates and wait for Mammon to retrieve it. In the meantime, Diavolo has graciously offered to lend it the D.D.D. he had prepared for the original transfer student, so stop by the dean’s office to pick it up. Asmodeus: Fine, we're going. Mammon: I really gotta do this, huh? Lucifer: Yes. Mammon: :( Leviathan: LOLOLOLOL!!! This is hilarious! Lucifer: Don't think I've forgotten about you, Levi. I'd like you to prepare a few dishes Barbatos says are in vogue with human children. Leviathan: Wait, are you making me its personal chef? Mammon: Ha! Serves ya right! Leviathan: Shut up, Mammon. Lucifer: Macaroni and cheese. Lucifer: Chicken tenders/nuggets (in the shape of dinosaurs, if possible) Leviathan: Dinosaurs? Lucifer: Apple juice. Lucifer: Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Lucifer: French fries. Lucifer: Cheese pizza. Leviathan: Do I have to make all of this right now? Lucifer: Chocolate chip cookies. Lucifer: Human-world grapes. Leviathan: Am I being trolled right now? Lucifer: Absolutely not. Prepare one dish immediately using whatever ingredients we already own. Lucifer: Human, if you are still here, I would like to extend my deepest apologies on behalf of the Royal Academy of Diavolo for this unfortunate mistake. Lucifer: I hope we are able to resolve this in a timely manner.

[sporesgalaxy]

grips your shoulders really tight. we all understand that Germa 66 embraces Fascist gender roles right. We all get that yeah? And it's important because it was one of the earliest things established about Germa & its royal family?

And yes, the issue with Sanji's chivalry is that some acts of chivalry are historically rooted in the assumption of male superiority.

But One Piece goes out of its way to show that Sanji isn't refusing to fight women because he thinks he has an unfair advantage. He respects the power of his female crewmates and allies.

Which seems nonsensical until we learn that Sanji's attachment to chivalry, and particularly refusing to hit women, is rooted in his love for Zeff.

To Sanji, refusing to hit women isn't a reinforcement of male superiority. It's a symbol of his bond with Zeff-- of Zeff's willingness to take responsibility for Sanji where Judge chose to neglect and abuse him for things beyond Sanji's control.

From a Doylist perspective, this can sound a little contrived on paper. But it makes perfect emotional sense to me. I've gone into a lot of detail here, but fundamentally Sanji is just unquestioningly emotionally attached to an outdated cultural ritual because of something his adoptive dad said that meant a lot to him. That's really not so complicated!

NOW. BACK TO THE FASCISM.

What we DON'T see as directly stated as "men speak with their fists," is the complimentary implication that Germa 66 also enforces fascist gender norms upon women, to some extent.

Sure, Reiju has a raid suit like her brothers and apparently goes into battle with them. But the subservient gender dynamic is still present in Reiju's genetically engineered inability to disobey her Father's orders.

Her designated number being 0 also signals inferiority to her brothers. Despite being firstborn and having many of the same supernatural abilities as her brothers, she is not a male heir and therefore doesn't count.

Sanji's mother's near-complete lack of control over her children being genetically altered, as well as her lack of control over how they were raised, further implies a STEEP and distinctly fascist-adherent gender inequality in Germa 66.

All this to say, Sanji's resulting crossed wires and strong opinions about gender are hilarious when you really understand them.

He feels strongly about placing women on a pedestal because the people who abused him considered women lesser beings, because the women in his early life did not abuse him, and because his adoptive dad said something meaningful to him right after reguegitating some unquestioned gender role stuff.

He feels strongly about being gruff and combative towards men because he was emasculated by his male abusers for being unable to fight, and because he was adopted by a ruffian chef who put on a gruff, combative front while communicating love through acts of service.

Maybe the superficial harshness was familiar enough for Zeff's kindness to feel more believable. Maybe putting on the same harsh act made it less nerve-wracking for Sanji to do the kind things he spent so long being punished for.

I don't remember where I originally planned to go with this post. I like Sanji. His relationship to gender is a fucking hilarious mess, which I can relate to. Hi Sanji. Throws him into the ocean

[cybertroniannugget]

First snow

Dec 2

The bots don't know what to think of the cold white flakes coming from the sky.

Earth is confusing as it is already, now it's confusing AND white everywhere

About this fic: GN reader, purely platonic, confused Autobots

Ey wake up, there's weird stuff outside!”

You shriek as Jazz opened the door in his holoformhis eyes wide.

“What?”

He gestures wildly with his hands.

“White! It's white everywhere!!”

Jumping up from your bed you pull the curtains open, mouth agape as you see what he was talking about.

“It snowed!” Balling a fist in triumph, you smile, turning around to face him again.

“I'm gonna go outside now!”, you say excitedly, quickly throwing on a jacket and scarf.

With him right behind you, you make your way outside.

Entering the main hall on your way outside, you meet a very confused group of bots standing at the main entrance, not daring to step out.

The sight of you seemed to relax them at least a little.

“What is this nonsense?!”, Ironhide complained loudly.

Bumblebee was the only one who understood the situation, playing Christmas songs over his radio.

🎶Let it snow let it snow let it snow🎶

“Guys, what are you doing?”, you ask as you walk past, out into the snow they seemed to fear so badly.

“You're not going out, are you?”, the weapons specialist questioned.

“Why not? It's the first snow of the year. Might as well enjoy it.”

Now it was Optimus who spoke up, his voice carrying a hint of incredulity.

“So this is a natural occurrence? Snow?”

“Yes, of course. Is this your first snow?!”

They all look at each other, shrugging.

“Alright, let me explain it to you. When it's cold, the water you know as rain, comes down as snow. The little white flaky things.”

“Could you please explain why that happens?”

“The further you go up, the colder it gets. Clouds are made of water. This water is actually frozen and melts on its way down to earth. When it's cold enough it doesn't, making it snow.”

You nod towards the outside. “This over there. It's harmless as long as you keep warm and don't stay outside for too long.”

And with that, you walk pass them into the white blanket of snow.

The crunch sound your feet make with every step, raised their curiosity and Bumblebee was the first one to step a pede out. Beeping excitedly, he jumps out completely, kicking the snow around.

“See?”, you ask amused. “Totally harmless.”

Like a flock of birds, they stand there, Ratchet being the next one to try and walk into the snow.

He shakes his pede, unsure of what to think, while Ironhide stomps out next to him.

Jazz walks out as well while Optimus and Ratchet stay inside, away from the strange white material.

“This is gonna be hilarious.”, you chuckle.

[thecoolerliauditore]

pearl needs to run away from Scott. let him GO!!! I promise Pearl, i promise, he doesn't love you. he loves the idea of you. he loves who he thinks you should be. not the real you, not the one with flaws, not the one he traumatized and broke into a million little pieces and had to learn to pick herself back up again, with the help of the very few people who would help her bandaged hands sort through those glass shards. he wouldn't help you then!! he doesnt deserve you now!!!! please girl, LEAVE HIM!!!!

and look. I know she's loyal. I know she'll probably never leave, because she loves the idea of him too, not the person he really is. she loves the memory of her best friend from a past life, not the man who would hurt her and pretends its all her fault. but. BUT hear me OUT.

gems right there. gem, who she wanted to ally with so bad last season. gem who was excited to see her, who welcomed that broken piece of her with open arms and wasn't scared when she met the scarlet pearl. gem, that killed pearl twice, that pearl was still willing to fight a final time, in what would have likely been a third death for pearl. she can go to her. she can GET OUT!!! she can get help, she just has to take that first step. she has to leave herself, but there's someone there she wanted to be friends with last season so bad, she can take that step now!

the only thing holding her back is her own loyalty. she's a dog on a leash of loyalty and now Scott and cleo have the other end. it's just a matter of if she can chew through it to run away or if it'll strangle her first

HELLO anon this is the anon ask that made me lay face up in my bed staring at the ceiling listening to when she loved she from toy story 2 on repeat fyi (it slowly morphed into nonsense speaker the rachie cover specifically over time. always been a pearl song to me but it was a bit melodramatic before this point. if it gets worse i might have to. i might)

It sucks so much it literally it literally sucks. What you said about them both loving ideas of eachother is so on point, they're both chasing something within the other that is innately self-contradictory.

Pearl wants to forgive him, but her version of "forgive" is to forgo her own feelings of spite and not challenge his view on things, which means she can never get the closure she needs to truly forgive him or get back the Scott she knew in LL.

Scott also wants Pearl back, the authentic one he knew in LL, but he also needs to whittle her down (cough) to something acceptable to him (in this case, shamed for her actions during DL) so his narrative doesn't get challenged. But that's not quite the Pearl he knew either! He can't have both a genuine connection with Pearl and have her exist solely as the concept of her he's created in his head, but he needs both and I really can't wait to see how that pans out. This paragraph is insane copium btw I do know I think you're a lot more correct than I am when you say he never actually loved her but I'm delusional. Logical side of me definitely thinks he's comfortable like this and if anyone's going to challenge this dynamic it's gonna be Pearl not Scott but what if man. What if.

Anyway I've seen so many people begging Gem to take Pearl in and I do get it I do. I personally have like one million fantasies about something like that as well. However I am calling on my Martyn Inthelittlewood clause and saying that I also do want to see Pearl deal with the consequences.

I'm so happy you said that she needs to leave herself because goddamn yes she does!! If Gem just kidnaps her that's just taking away her growth! If she does fuck off and join Joel/Gem btw this will be like. an absolutely hilarious parallel to Last Life. Fairy Fort welcome back none of us missed you. Would be fitting for this season.

The collar/leash imagery is so messed up man thanks. Reminds me of this Scott/Cleo fanart I wanted to draw at one point where they're cosplaying as Denji/Makima but in that halloween costume way where they don't know the characters or the implications. Sorry just had to throw that in there.

[spn2006]

before i got into samdean i saw a post about them on my dash and at that point it had been so long since i’d even HEARD of people shipping them and it freaked me out so much that i thought surely my mutual had reblogged it by accident. bc it was one of those fun little web weaving post with richard siken poetry and season one screencaps (yeah you know the exact kind of post im talking about) so i thought maybe they didnt even know? like they thought it was just aesthetically pleasing?

and so i sent them an anon message asking them if they knew and they thought it was hilarious and all the notes were like “how did anon not know that that was wincest immediately” but honestly guys i cannot stress to you enough that nobody gets our little references outside of this very specific circle of insanity. bc im sure if i saw that post today i’d be like ah yes richard siken? ethel cain lyrics? a photo of dean pushing sam up against a wall? must be my beloved wincest. but when you’re a complete outsider that literally just looks like nonsense, until you slowly realise what exactly you’re looking at, and then promptly freak out.

oh and also i made this blog for wincest like only a month after that. im convinced that something about it was the catalyst for me no longer being disgusted by incest and instead going waitttt why is this actually compelling as fuck? and i 100% owe it all to that random mutual who i didnt even realise was into incest at all until that fateful day. idk where i was going with this i just think its so funny that for one shining moment i was terrified of all this and it basically took one kind of embarrassing anon ask for me to change my mind

[galactandro]

Y’ALL.

I GOT TO WATCH DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE.

also EPIC spoilers about the movie so here’s your warning and yes i will be ranting on for a very very long time

starting off THAT OPENING SCENE LMAOOOO

WHEN HE STARTED KILLING THE TVA AGENTS WITH LOGANS SPINE AND HEAD 😭 AND THEN HE WAS DANCING I ACTUALLY DIED.

then we got sent back in time and we met HAPPY HOGAN. I WAS TOTALLY NOT EXPECTING TO SEE HIM LIKE THAT WAS TOTALLY UNEXPECTED.

then we got all of those fourth wall jokes and the whole feige/cœcåinę jokes oml. then we got a whole tva thing (that was very inappropriate in more ways than one)

bros stapled hair falls out 😭 and we see a little fake hair stuck to his hair for the whole thing.

he wakes up in the tva and we meet Paradox (aka the worst person ever i absolutely hate him-)

ANYWAY he gives us the whole “matter and be something” spiel (AND WHY WAS THOR CRYING) but wade is like stfu imma go find another logan to be my anchor being

THEN WE GET A MONTAGE OF DIFFERENT LOGAN VARIENTS AND OMG HAHAHHAHAHAHA

first we get comic accurate wolverine BEING SO SHORT HE HAD TO JUMP OFF THE BAR CHAIR 😭

then i think we got the 80s afro wolverine (hilarious)

and then we got the wolverine hulk show down AND WADE GOT FLUNG I LAUGHED SO MUCH HAHA

and then AND THEN. WE GOT HENRY CAVILL WOLVERINE WHICH I NEVER THOUGHT ID SEE IN MY LIFE HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

then we’re finally met (i think) with our “worst logan in the multiverse” (which is total bs) but we see him wearing his outfit (which i’m pretty sure we’ve never seen hugh jackman wear)

then they get pruned and i was so dam confuzzled. cuz i was like hold up im sorry what

but then we see them appear in the void with 20 CENTURY FOX STATUE AHHAHAHAHAH. THE ANOUNT OF MARVEL, FOX, AND DISNEY JOKES WE GET IN THIS. like when deadpool says “welcome to disney, mr. pg-13 except for one movie” LMAOOOO

we get an epic deadpool vs wolverine fight and we get like a lot of those because they’re not trying to really kill each other and both of them heal super fats so it’s jsut comedy at this point

and now

WE SEE

CHRIS EVANS CAMEO. AND WE FOR SURE THINK THAT ITS A CAPTAIN AMERICA VARIANT. AND WE ALLGET READY FOR AVENGERS ASSEMBLE

and then

and then

WE GET A FLAME ON

when my movie theatre watched this basically everyone was stunned. like we started absolutely going wild.

we see sabretooth, pyro (which i’m pretty sure is the same actor from X2), and toad like hello? i already thought this was crazy. anyway sabretooth gets his head sorta sliced off by wolverine (also why isn’t there a yellow font on tumblr?) anyway

we get a fight and they end up getting captured and get driven to CASSANDRA NOVA. LIKE WHAT. SINCE WHEN WAS CASSANDRA NOVA THE VILLAIN sorta OF THIS. BROIOOOOOOO

she brutally murders our beloved johnny storm after wade said he said a bunch of very odd things about her that was hilarious.

fast forward A LOT we were basically given a bunch of plot advancements and all of that stuff but i don’t want this to be super long so imma cut this short

we get four AWESOME CAMEOS.

ELEKTRA

BLADE

GAMBIT OMG GAMBIT WHOS CHANNING TATUM

AND X-23! LAURA YIPPEEEEEEEEEE

we get these awesome cameos and my movie theatre erupted into wild cheers bc we got the same actors from the original blade and x-23. WE GOT GAMBIT WHO IS LEGIT ONE OF MY FAV MUTANTS. WE GOT ELEKTRA LIKE BRO WHAT

AND WE GOT TBHS THING WITH GAMBIT SAYING ABSOLUTE NONSENSE AND DEADPOOL SAYS, “i’m sorry gorgeous, but i feel like we’re missing some critical exposition. who’s your dialect coach, the MINIONS?” AND I ABSOLUTELY LOST IT THAT WAS SO HILARIOUS AHJHAHHAHA

after this they make some plan about how to get logan and wade back to their (sorta) timeline and go ahead to carry it out. we get an epic “final boss” like fight and cassandra shows that she has a sling ring that seems to be from a dr strange variant with pieces of the reality and time stone (i think).

next we get this whole thing with the 100 or so deadpool’s with blake lively and ryan reynolds’ kids as different variants. and they also snuck in a little stan lee cameo there (miss the legend ❤️)

THEN WE SEE PETERPOOOOL WHO ABSOLUTELY SAVED DEADPOOL AND WOLVERINE A THOUSAND PERCENT.

we have that whole thing with the time ripper and how if a person goes to stop it the anti matter and matter absolutely would rip them apart. we see deadpool make the hero play after stalling for a bit but he couldn’t reach the other side. THEN WOLVERINE STEPS IN AND DOES IT TOO OML (also i’ve noticed i haven’t talked that much about wolverine BUT I PROMISE I LOVE HIM 😭) we get shirtless hugh jackman and everybody in my movie theatre went wild… again. it was SO FUNNY 🤣. we get a whole ending with b-15 as the tva leader sorta. and paradox getting reprimanded as he should and we for sure thought that they’re dead.

NO THEY ARE NOT. they walk in like the queens they are and then that’s basically the ending.

EXCEPT FOR THE EXTRA CREDIT SCENE. then we see that all the things that deadpool accused johnny of saying before he basically got his skin ripped off WERE ACTUALLY TRUE. WE ALL COLLECTIVELY SAID LANGUAGE BECAUSE OML IVE NEVER SEEN CHRIS EVANS SO DIRTY MOUTHER (not me not understanding half the things that he said-)

ANYWAY I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS MOVIE. IT WAS WORTH IT. i noticed cute little easter eggs and the cameos omg the cameos

GO WATCH IT IF YOU HAVENT

bye 👋

*hehe we saw gambit (if you can’t tell i love his character)

[0junemeatcleaver0]

Do you think Armands real problem with Benedict is the fact he sees what an acolyte he could have become for Marius if they hadn't have been separated so tragically by supposed deaths and then abandonment because of him falling under the cults spell to survive?

Okay, so instead of taking a nap like I should definitely be doing right now, I'm going to answer this instead because I've not stopped thinking about it since I first read it hours ago lmao

Also, I'm not going to bother to go back and dig through the book, I'm giving myself full permission to go off memory and *~vibes~*

So I personally think that Armand is projecting quite a bit onto Benedict, tbh. It's jealousy, for sure, but there's a bit more to it than that, I think.

There are clear and obvious parallels to be drawn between the two characters. Benedict was a monk, Armand was basically training to become a monk. They were both made by powerful vampires who they had romantic relationships with while still in their teens. Both hopelessly devoted and in love with their Masters (at least at a certain point).

And if I weren't absolutely zapped from being an adult today, I'd probably attempt some poignant spiel about projecting onto the mirror-world image of yourself and how big a knee-jerk reaction can be when you find yourself occupying the space on the attraction/repulsion spectrum where the two feelings meet.

Because that's what I think this is to an extent.

I think, yes, Armand feels some type of way thinking about how things could have turned out for him and Marius if the Coven hadn't quite literally torched his whole life and then absorbed him.

I think Armand also has some identity issues--its a motif that follows him throughout the entirety of his character arc. Because of his backstory, I don't think he's got a clear idea of who he is outside of his relationships to other people. And while I don't think he legit would boil himself down to "I'm the teenage vampire with religious trauma and a very old boyfriend" (lol), I do think that having someone around whose history so closely mirrored his own to a certain extent would have had his hackles up.

But beyond that, I think in his mind Benedict's biggest sin is doing things Armand wouldn't do--or doing them differently to how Armand would do them.

Like when Armand is livid with him for having killed Maharet in her own home. And you might think at first that he's mad because you would be--what Benedict and Rhosh did was fucked up. But then he goes on to talk about how much he wanted to go speak with her and ask her questions and they killed her before he could do that.

And I'm thinking to myself, "Bud, you sure this isn't actually about the break in and murder? Because that type of thing would be especially upsetting to you in specific?? For reasons??"

And then Benedict was like, "Shut up, cult leader. You're not free of sin here either", and Armand tells him to hurry up and die (which is lowkey hilarious).

And from there, Benedict goes on to wrap his speech up like this (yes, I know I said I wouldn't pull out the book. I lied.):

"Those of us made young," he said, "we never grow up. Five hundred years or a thousand. It makes no difference. Time gives us room to be forever stupid and blind with the confusion and passions of the young, vulnerable to the masters who made us and ensnared us." (Blood Communion, page 107)

And then Armand shoots back with this:

"Oh, stuff and nonsense," said Armand. "I was never a child. I was a man before I was ever Born to Darkness, you imbecilic creature! Maybe you were a child, in your monkish robes, with your dark Christian longings, and maybe you still are. But I was never young. And I have learned through suffering and anguish and loneliness such as you, cowering in the shadow of your master, have never known." (Blood Communion, page 108)

And I can't help but feel like this is an argument Armand has had with himself. That he's had the thought before that perhaps a part of you freezes at whatever age you were turned. That being turned so young might have long lasting effects on a vampire. That he may have gotten the short end of some stick here.

But he cannot allow Benedict of all fucking people to be the one to point that out. Refuses to give Benedict the win there and so he pushes back in what I think is a really telling way. Bringing up Benedict's past as a monk as though it has any real bearing on this conversation ('dark xtain longings'? Weren't you prepared at one point to bury yourself alive for God? Pot, meet kettle). And then going on to throw Benedict's attachment to Rhosh in his face.

I don't know. Part of me feel like the thing in this scene that really cemented Armand's distaste for Benedict is the fact that he's walking away from his Master. He's been in his favor, under his protection for so long and he's willingly giving that up.

Part of me can't help but wonder how much of him looks up to Benedict for that, and how much of him loathes Benedict for that.

[nushkiespeaks]

I am again surprised with the way how people are misinterpreting my blog on Arjun's depression as making fun of depression as a "mental health".

Clearly people don't even know what am I talking about.

I AM TALKING ACTUALLY ABOUT HOW PEOPLE TAG A MENTALLY HEALTHY PERSON AS A "DEPRESSED HUMAN"! AND IT IS AS BLASPHEMOUS AS DISSING DEPRESSION AS A MENTAL HEALTH TO TAGGING SOMEONE FIT AND FINE AS DEPRESSED!

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LABELING ANYTHING AS DEPRESSION WITHOUT KNOWING THE SYMPTOMS OF IT! YOU KNOW HOW UTTERLY DISGRACEFUL IT IS?

IMAGINE YOU'RE UNAWARE OF EVEN THE SYMPTOMS OF A MENTAL HEALTH AND GOING ON TO MAKE IT LOOK COOL?!

Please, it's high time you guys get a clear symptom analysis about depression! Not everything is depression! And labeling Arjun, a mentally stable person as "depressed and suicidal" is certainly NOT okay!

And please! please STOP romanticizing depression as it is a cool thing and anyone can have it!

IF YOU HAVE DEPRESSION, GET TREATMENT! GET HELP! BUT ROMANTICIZING IT AS IT "OH ITS A GOOD THING, LOOK I HAVE DEPRESSION IS SO COOL" IS CERTAINLY NOT OKAY!

And honestly, yes! You can't think if you're not mentally healthy you can do ANYTHING you wish like! NO YOU CANNOT! YOU CANNOT, YOUR ABILITIES WILL BE HAMPERED AND IT IS A FACT!

Some people need education way before they spit nonsense even before analyzing or trying to know the context!

Peeps be JUMPING UPON CONCLUSIONS without going through my other blogs is insanely hilarious!

Just imagine you're a mentally healthy person and you're getting tagged like that, how will you feel? It shows both the incompetence of people in understanding what the symptoms of mental health is and using it so casually everywhere!

MY POINT IS TO MAKE EVERYONE CLEAR THAT ARJUN DID NOT SUFFER FROM DEPRESSION! NOT MAKING FUN OF IT! 🙂

[zahri-melitor]

Newish Comics:

Action Comics #1067: I'm back for Gail! (Yeah I know none of you are surprised). ...This is a very silly story about invading aliens, in which Superman bites a gun. Snort.

The Rainbow Rowell backup is better, however I think my feelings on it will depend on how it wraps up its discussion of journalism ethics and and what that means to Lois.

Batman and Robin #11: on the most important measurement for this comic, Damian seems to have finally accepted attending high school is a good thing. Excellent. #KeepDamianInSchool2024 continues!

Bruce and Damian actually having a conversation where Bruce is aware of Damian's emotions is the funniest shit ever, self aware Dad appeared for thirty seconds. And then of course Damian, after reassuring Bruce he's totally cool and able to go after Bane and handle his emotions...loses his mind and charges in. Immaculate. Hilarious. Why did you bring a sword, Damian?

Incredible. This is the sort of intrafamily drama I adore. Look at that use of psychological language, followed almost immediately by *checks notes* Damian losing his cool and charging in. Yes! Yes! Talking it out sounding like a textbook was ineffective! I love that for us.

Outsiders #9: ...so I'm not hugely across Doctor Fate, but this does not feel like Doctor Fate to me.

Once again this story feels like it's biting off more than it can chew, and the Outsiders continue to fail to go outside, and instead get even more entangled in nonsense. I mean, it's still up from the issue we spent with a multiverse worth of Bruces but the entire issue was obsessing over the narrative power of [Joe Chill's] gun.

The Warlord #60: This week in Skartaris, Joshua loses his watch!!! (Darvan rips it off his arm)

Also Travis gets free, fights his imposter, and Tara shows up with his gun.

We have a fun scene where Tara demands Travis answer some outside world pop culture questions to prove his identity, and then she shoots the imposter.

[petite-madame]

Hi PM. I'm sorry, my question isn't about art. I'm learning French and I wanted to know what was your favorite French meme. Thank you. ❤️

Hi anon ^^

I'm sorry, my question isn't about art

No problem, I think it's a hilarious and very unusual question! 😁

I wanted to know what was your favorite French meme

This one. We post it, most of the time on Twitter, when someone wrote something particularly stupid, didn't understand the topic or blatantly lied:

"But...you wrote a bunch of nonsense!"

"Why ? Is it bad ?"

"Yes, you have to think a bit beforehand."

I love it because it's particularly petty. From the absurd dialog to the childish font to the little characters, I think it conveys all the condescension you need to answer stupid people on the internet.

There's also another a meme that I find fascinating by what it created artistically. I don't like it per se but its various iterations are quite interesting. So, it started by a screenshot from the show C'est mon choix (It's my choice) and the quote "il a pas tort" ("he's not wrong") from the guy on the left (a completely misogynistic a-hole who found no problem in the fact that the girl's BF wanted to leave her (or left her?) because she was "too fat". )

The frame of the guy saying "he's not wrong" became a meme ...

...and was posted every time, you guessed it, that someone was saying something where they were "not wrong" (often used to play devil's advocate about something a bit problematic, though). Except that, people started to "meme the meme" and to simplify the picture to the extreme. At first, it was just by illustrated versions of the original meme:

(Let's carry on under the cut!)

Illustrations that, with time, became more and more abstract...

...and not even posted with the mention "he's not wrong" because everybody knew what it was all about. The simplification carried on so much that color palettes and strokes were enough to convey the meme:

The joke carried on to the point where objects were enough to symbolise the meme. Sauce pans, sneakers, bags, lights even pics of a river...

...they would all make us go

...whenever a "he's not wrong" pic was appearing on the screen. Long story short, this thing is our "Loss.jpg", I guess. What I posted here is just A TINY fraction of all the versions that were made in the past 2-3 years, it's crazy. It's a bit less popular at the moment but I still see it from time to time on Twitter.

Speaking about memes, I also love all the memes coming from the show Kaamelott, absolute French classic!

I hope I answered your question and that you enjoyed this dive into the fascinating world of French memes. 😁

[just-a-random-raccoon]

Day 22: Sparky

Shhh I'm not late for an hour.... You're talking nonsense....

Couldn't be a dog without Blackjack am I right?-

Fanfic under the cut.

He was still getting used to being orange, he thought it was a attempt of his mind of giving hope of not dying. That's why he said "yes" to that weird promise, he doesn't even know what happened in the first place. One day, he is getting his sister ready for her birthday party at Fredbear's, the other, he is dying in a suit at his job making promises with a weird bear that says he is a God.

Probably the most weird experience but hey! It's the average Freddy's experience.

The most weird of it all it's not the promise, or the fact he is now orange for his make up if isn't the most weird of it all. The most weird of it all it's that a dog has been following him since. It's not an average one, not like Sparky at least, it's a purple one with a top hat and bow tie. How c00t! Thinks he is a person.

He tried to summon it but Jack doesn't know its name, he doesn't even know if its got an owner, so he just will wait for it to appear. The thing is, where that moment would be? Or what he even does this? What he is gonna do? Talk to it? Not like dogs could talk.

He didn't have to go to work because he has quit it since that day, Jack find Henry's expression hilarious when he saw the orange man walking to his office like nothing happened, but that was only a friendly reminder that what he did was pretty real and that he accidentally has made a deal with some kind of higher entity.

That he died

That he came back to life

That Dee died.

That his brother considers him a murderer.

And that he needs to save them.

He doesn't need those thoughts right now! He needs to wash the dishes!

Or that would be so if that dog haven't appeared and everything had turned black. Oh well, guess that moment is right now.

"Hey..." Jack muttered not sure of what to say, he was becoming crazy talking to a dog but he needed to try. The purple dog perked its head up, "by any chance you have a name?" Jack said kneeling down to the dog's level, the other one limited to perk up his head more showing a red collar that had the letters "Blackjack" print on it.

"OHHH! Your name is Blackjack." Jack was impressed more about the name that the fact this dog could understand him. "Kind off" the dog said.

Wait.

The dog said

Jack eyes went wide and stood up the most quickly he could trying to not make contact with the dog. He knew him the dog being purple was dangerous!

"Don't be scared Jack, I'm well. Your soul or better said you're my corpse since I'm the real Jack." Blackjack? Jack? Said being confident on his words even if his "voice" was the orange man's voice distorted.

"THE HELL ARE YOU? GET AWAY FROM ME!" Jack screamed at the dog, he couldn't run because it was all black. But he didn't wanted to be near that thing. "No need to scream! Let's see, calm down and breath. You're going to hyperventilate or something if you keep like this!" The dog just wanted to explain things soon as possible but the corpse was making it difficult.

"CALM DOWN??? YOU'RE A DOG! THAT IS TALKING! AND THAT BEAR! I- THIS- NO NO-" Jack kneeled down and grabbed the sides of his face. "This isn't real! I'm just having a nightmare! I will wake up and everyone will be there! Dee, Sparky and Peter! They- they will-" The dog cut him off "I'm afraid that's not happening Jack."

The dog was snuggling to the sobbing man right now trying to give him some comfort, it won't be like a hug or a nice hot cocoa like the one's Peter did but it was something.

"Let's just go one step at time, shall we?"

[gungoo4lifer]

What?! No way!

Summary: nothing just gun and goo gossiping, slight jangseo

''Did you heard,'' Gun starts, his gaze lingering around on the cards on his palm. ''That Eli Jang and Samuel Seo fought against a gen 1 king along with each other?"

He can't help but let out a slight chuckle, even Gun himself can't believe the words coming out of his own mouth. ''Sounds utterly hilarious and unreal, doesn't it?''

Adjusting his glasses, Goo rolls his eyes at Gun's nonsense. ''Of Course i did, jackass. After all, Sammy's my secret friend. You think he'd hide something from me? He himself told me about it earlier.'' Goo chuckles, moving off his gaze from the cards to Gun, unexpectedly greeting with Gun's smirk, and Goo knows Gun well enough to know what that smirk meant, as one of his eyebrows raised on its own, silently questioning him.

''Whats up with the sudden smirk?'' Eyes narrowed, Goo smirks back, slightly tilting his head. ''You got some tea? Go ahead, spill it then.''

''Well..'' Gun holds himself back from chuckling. ''It seems your 'dear' secret friend Sammy didn't tell you about the affair he was having with Eli.'' Gun utters, his eyes on Goo's glasses, seeing the reflection of the cards, along with the suprise in Goo's eyes at the same time, despite Goo's glasses still being on and avoiding him from seeing his eyes, Gun can still imagine his face expression. ''An AFFAIR?!''

''Mhm.''

"WHAT?!" wide eyed, a loud laugh leaves Goo's mouth, one filled with utter mock, and Gun can easily sense it. "No damn way!"

"Well you heard me."

''No way! No. Damn. Way!" He repeats, "They- They hate each other dude! Samuel always grumbled some shit about how Eli Jang was an complete nuisance, how he always pissed him off,'' A chuckle leaves his lips, ''There's NO way that they'd have an affair, not even hate sex, man.''

''Perhaps something between them sparkled after fighting against that king together?''

Gun feels like he's going to burst out laughing every single second passing by.

''Look, man. I know Samuel much better than you, theres no way that there is something between them, Samuel envies Eli, and that envy soon turned into hatred, he himself told me about it. Theres nooo way that there would be something between them, no way.''

''Yes way.''

Extending his silky hand up to the bridge of his nose, Goo pulls out his glasses and takes a clearer look at Gun, still cant getting himself to believe Gun's rumor. ''And, where did you even heard that, though?''

''Crystal told me. She said that Sally informed her about Samuel coming to their house unexpectedly often these last days." Gun continues, "i'll be honest, even i didn't know that Crystal was talking to Sally, since Crystal is, kind of.. you know her personality. She doesn't likes talking to others but, i guess she can still somehow manage to chat with others sometimes?''

''I already know enough about Crystal, man!" All ears, Goo watches Gun with full attention and interest. "So? What else?''

Judging from the going on conversation and the sudden stop on the cards, Goo seems to not notice that they had stopped playing cards a long ago, so does Gun.

Getting up from the floor he was sitting on, Gun arches his back which was caused slight pain by sitting with the same position for quite the long time. Making his way to couch, Goo follows him as he does so. ''I'll tell you the rest of it later, i feel utterly exhausted right now.'' Gun sighs, leaning his back on the couch and makes him comfortable, shutting both of his eyes, holding his smirk back.

''Like hell you're tired! You're just making damn excuses to not tell it!!" Goo frowns, "Come oooon, Guuuun! I'm curiouusss!'' Goo's lips quivers, the frown on his face replacing with a pout as he extends his pointing finger to poke Gun's cheek, poking it several times to get his attention.

"Hmmh.. I'm really tired..'' Gun slightly opens his right eye and glances at Goo with the side of his eye, the smirk he was holding back finally starting to fade in. ''..Maybe a kiss on the cheek would make it go away?'' He coos, pointing his cheek with his finger, which receives an eye roll from Goo.

''Seriously? Only for a kiss? tchh.'' Goo clicks his tongue in annoyance, leaning in closer to Gun's face and planting a soft kiss on his right cheek, Gun stays silent for a few seconds, humming to himself.

''Mhh.. I think I didn't really feel it. Do it again.''

''Ah, for fucks sake!''

Gritting his teeth in pure annoyance, Goo leans in closer once again to leave an another kiss on Gun's cheek, only for that pervert to switch the side of his face on the last moment, the kiss that was suppossed to contact on his cheeks greeting with his lips instead. Despite his surprised face expression to the sudden kiss, Goo isn't the kind of guy to pull back. Instead, he wraps his arms around Gun's neck, caressing the back of his raven hair as Gun smirks between the kiss, leaning in closer to him and deepening the kiss, making himself on top of Goo while Goo's back lies on the couch. A muffled groan slides away from Gun's lips as he was about to slide his tongue in, the sudden pain caused by the blonde sinking his teeth in his lips makes him scowl in pain, the sink in his lips was hard. Real hard. Hard enough for blood to stream down his lips and reach to his chin. That masochist loves it. Does he pulls away? No, in fact, he gets even more turned on. But Goo does, with a satisfied grin.

''Nuh uh, first you tell me more about it.''

Gun sighs in annoyance, as he was about to wipe off the blood on his lips, Goo leans in closer and licks the blood off his lips, then wiping off the blood on Gun's lips with his thumb, a playful grin displayed on his lips. ''Go ahead.''

Smirking, Gun starts. ''Well, it's so obvious that theres something between Eli Jang and Samuel Seo. Even a guy like me can tell it. Perhaps hate, perhaps something more than hate. Who knows.''

Goo stays silent for a few seconds, resting his head on Gun's shoulder and thinking about it in silence as he humms to himself. ''Hmm..'' Never in his life he would have thought that there was something between Samuel and Eli, like damn! he thought that both of them despite each other?

But not just a normal kind of 'despite', the kind of ones that where you want to wrap your hands around the others neck as tight as possible and choke the other to the death itself till they start begging you like a dog.

What can he say? there were not just normal, regular guys at the first place.

Hell, what is even considered as 'normal' to Goo Kim to begin with anyway?

After a moment of silence, Goo's the first one to speak. ''..Who do you think the top is?''

Gun answers, not even wasting a second. ''Eli. Theres no way in hell that a pathetic guy like Samuel can top.'' he dips in his hand to his pocket, pulling out his cigarette package before continuing his speech. ''Even with that huge thing inside of his pants, i dont think that Samuel will be spending his time using it.''

Goo won't even bother questioning how Gun knows it.

''Wait- And?! Thats all?! No more?!'' Goo pinches his nose and grimaces when he inhales the filthy smell of the damn cigarettes coming from Gun. ''Ew.''

''Thats all. If you have more to say, go ahead then.'' Gun pauses, leaning in closer to Goo with a shit eating smile. ''..Or we can continue where we lef-''

Goo puts his hand on Gun's lips, Gun's lips quivering. ''30 minutes rule.''

'..God Fucking damn it..'' Gun grits his teeth in annoyance and pouts.

- side note, if you don't know what the 30 minutes rule means, you can read an another gungoo one shot of mine, 'The 30 minutes rule' to see what it is about ^^ -

"Oh, oh!" Goo gasps, as if something came to his mind.

"What?" Gun mumbles, taking a deep drag of the and inhaling the cigarette to finish it sooner.

"Now i remember, did you know that Eugene, the president of Workers has his own 'Gun and Goo' in their gang?"

What.

What.

Choking on his cigarette by the sudden news, Gun's eyebrows knits, a frown displaying on his face that Goo has never seen before. "Holy shit, man! I told you to stop smoking those damn cigarettes, didn't i?! Are you seeing the light right now?? Hearing anything?? Hello?? Park JongGun??"

"Repeat."

"What?"

"Repeat that."

The corner of Goo's lips curves into a wicked grin, knowing Gun well enough to know that this news would utterly piss him off. Yet, he chooses to act innocent, as if Gun would believe it.

"Oooh, i thought you knew about it, Guun~ It seems that the top two strongest members of the crew are referred as Eugene's 'Gun and Goo.' Ironic, isn't it?

Gun clicks his tongue in displeasure, inhaling an another drag of cigarette to calm himself down. "Not ironic, more like absurd."

"How cute, little boys trying to be like us. Don't you think?"

"No." Gun sighs. "One day, just one day there will be a fight, and at that day I'll fucking beat their asses to a pulp to show them who's Park JongGun and who's not."

Goo only laughs at how hilarious that sounds.