#is it just that these are very cinematic video games?

[winepresswrath]

Fallout is so delightful. I don't know that I have a lot to say about it but it's nailing the video game aesthetic, Lucy is adorable, the Ghoul is a spectacular Walton Goggins deployment, and I'm coming around on Maximus because he becomes infinitely more tolerable when he's sharing a screen with Lucy. Usually if I don't like a guy and then he's presented with a romance subplot he just finds new and worse ways to annoy me more but they're so cute together. I am rooting for him!

[wileycap]

So, uh, Netflix Avatar, huh? Yeah. I guess I'll make a really long post about it because ATLA brainrot has is a cornerstone of my personality at this point.

So.

It's okay. B, maybe a C+.

That's it.

Now for the spoilers:

The biggest issue with the Netflix version is the pacing. Scenes come out of nowhere and many of the episodes are disjointed. Example: Aang escaping from Zuko's ship. We see him getting the key and going "aha!", and in the next scene he's in Zuko's room. And then he just runs out, no fun acrobatics or fights, and immediately they go to the Southern Air Temple where he sees Gyatso's corpse, goes into the Avatar state, and then sees Gyatso being really cheesy, comes out of it, and resolves that conflict. Nothing seems to lead into anything. The characters don't get to breathe.

The show's worst mistake (aside from Iroh fucking murdering Zhao) is its' first one: they start in the past. Instead of immediately introducing us to our main characters and dropping us into a world where we have a perfect dynamic where Aang doesn't know the current state of the world and Katara and Sokka don't know about the past, thus allowing for seamless and organic worldbuilding and exposition, they just... tell us. "Hey, this is what happened, ok, time for Aang!" There's no mystery, no intrigue, just a stream of information being shoved down the audience's throats and then onto the next set piece.

The visuals are for the most part great, but like with most Netflix productions, they just don't have great art direction. It feels like a video game cinematic, where everything is meant to be Maximum Cool - and none of the environments get to breathe. It's like they have tight indoor sets (with some great set design) and then they have a bunch of trailer shots. It's oozing with a kind of very superficial love.

Netflix still doesn't know how to do lighting, and with how disjointed the scenes are, the locations end up feeling like a parade of sets rather than actual cities or forests or temples. As for the costumes, Netflix still doesn't know how to do costumes that look like they're meant to be actually worn, so many of the characters seem weirdly uncomfortable, like they're afraid of creasing their pristine costumes.

The acting is decent to good, for the most part. I can't tell if the weaker moments come down to the actors or the direction and editing, but if I had to guess, I'd say the latter. Iroh and Katara are the weakest, Sokka is the most consistent, Zuko hits the mark most of the time, and Aang is okay. I liked Suki (though... she was weirdly horny? Like?) but Yue just fell kind of flat.

The tight fight choreography of the original is replaced with a bunch of spinny moves and Marvel fighting, though there are some moments of good choreography, like the Agni Kai between Ozai and Zuko (there's a million things I could say about how bad it was thematically, but this post is overly long already.) There's an actually hilarious moment in the first episode when Zuko is shooting down Aang, and he does jazz hands to charge up his attack.

Then there's the characters. Everybody feels very static - Zuko especially gets to have very little agency. A great example of that is the scene in which Iroh tells Lieutenant Jee the story of Zuko's scar.

In the original, it's a very intimate affair, and he doesn't lead the crew into any conclusions. Here, Iroh straight up tells the crew "you are the 41st, he saved your lives" and then the crew shows Zuko some love. A nice moment, but it feels unearned, when contrasted with the perfection of The Storm. In The Storm, Zuko's words and actions directly contradict each other, and Iroh's story gives the crew (and the audience) context as to why, which makes Zuko a compelling character. We get to piece it out along with them. Here - Iroh just flat out says it. He just says it, multiple times, to hammer in the point that hey, Zuko is Good Actually.

And then there's Iroh. You remember the kindly but powerful man who you can see gently nudging Zuko to his own conclusions? No, he's a pretty insecure dude who just tells Zuko that his daddy doesn't love him a lot and then he kills Zhao. Yeah. Iroh just plain kills Zhao dead. Why?

Iroh's characterization also makes Zuko come off as dumb - not just clueless and deluded, no, actually stupid. He constantly gets told that Iroh loves him and his dad doesn't, and he doesn't have any good answers for that, so he just... keeps on keeping on, I guess? This version of Zuko isn't conflicted and willfully ignorant like the OG, he's just... kind of stupid. He's not very compelling.

In the original, Zuko is well aware of Azula's status as the golden child. It motivates him - he twists it around to mean that he, through constant struggle, can become even stronger than her, than anyone. Here, Zhao tells him that "no, ur dad likes her better tee hee" and it's presented as some kind of a revelation. And then Iroh kills Zhao. I'm sorry I keep bringing that up, but it's just such an unforgiveable thematic fuckup that I have to. In the original, Zhao falls victim to his hubris, and Zuko gets to demonstrate his underlying compassion and nobility when he offers his hand to Zhao. Then we get some ambiguity in Zhao: does he refuse Zuko's hand because of his pride, or is it his final honorable action to not drag Zuko down with him? A mix of both? It's a great ending to his character. Here, he tries to backstab Zuko and then Iroh, who just sort of stood off to the side for five minutes, goes "oh well, it's murderin' time :)"

They mess with the worldbuilding in ways that didn't really need to be messed with. The Ice Moon "brings the spirit world and the mortal world closer together"? Give me a break. That's something you made up, as opposed to the millenia of cultural relevance that the Solstice has. That's bad, guys. You replaced something real with something you just hastily made up. There's a lot of that. We DID NOT need any backstory for Koh, for one. And Katara and Sokka certainly didn't need to be captured by Koh. I could go on and on, but again, this post is already way too long.

It's, um, very disappointing. A lot of telling and not very much showing, and I feel like all of the characters just... sort of end up in the same place they started out in. I feel like we don't see any of the characters grow: they're just told over and over again how they need to grow and what they need to do.

To sum it up: Netflix Avatar is a mile wide, but an inch deep.

[qfitpac]

Final thoughts on the Qsmp finale: I think it was incredibly disappointing and disrespectful at every turn, and as with many things in the qsmp I think they could have put in 100x less effort for 100x more reward.

I wish they had just let the islanders freely roam around and say goodbye to their old builds instead of forcing them into a weird and unrelated mini game. For gods sake, Pac and Fit never made it to Chume Labs to see it one last time.

The museum was nice but how about crediting all the people who made those models and assets that were on display? Contrasted with the properly credited fanart it really showed how little the studio values its workers.

It's clear to me that they cared more about getting in that final spectacle (I think there's a good chance a lot of those assets and mobs were originally made for purgatory 3) and leaving the story open for a possible QSMP 2 than actually giving their ccs a chance to give their characters an ending. Watching it all I couldn't help thinking, was the person who built this paid? Was this cinematic made by someone who was compensated for their time? Did the studio give them enough time to make these or was it, as shown before, a rushed and stressful process with an impossible deadline?

The egg video in particular was in incredibly poor taste. After all that the egg admins went through, letting them go without even a thank you let alone actually properly crediting them and paying them, then to just choose their ending for them? Using not just the models (was the person who made those paid?) but aspects of the personalities that the egg admins developed (Ramon's meathead, pepitos plushie, etc)? Come on.

The finale was, and I say this with all possible negative connotations, very in character for a studio that has repeatedly shown that it cares more about visuals and the next big thing than anything else, including the admins and ccs that make it possible. It was flat and convoluted and the only thing that made it watchable was as always the talent and versatility of the players.

I hope there is no qsmp 2. I really do. I don't think it's worth it to keep this brand alive after all the people who have been hurt by it. I'd love to see another server use the real-time translation mod, I'd love to see most of this group of creators make something together, but I don't think it should be under quackity or his studio's control. They've clearly shown that they cannot be trusted to treat their workers properly, to support this big of a project, or to be focused on making a place for creators to tell their own stories the way they want to.

[miquellaluciscaelum]

Spoilers Elden ring DLC

Thoughts about Miquella's and Ranni's destinies.

I came across a video in Tiktok about how Ranni never had a good relationship with Golden twins because of Miquella's manipulativeness and his ability to enchant people. Well, first of all, this is stupid. We don't know what kind of relationship Ranni and Miquella had, but they definitely weren't full of hatred for each other, on the contrary, there are much more hints that they had some kind of connection, maybe even worked together on their goals.

But this is half of the trouble, in the comments people, as always proved that faith in humanity is absolutely in vain. The best you could hear there was, of course, that Miquella was just manipulating people and that he was the main villain of the story, which we were told from the beginning in the description of the branch. It went on to speculate, or even claim, that Miquella was definitely manipulating everyone around him, especially Malenia and Godwyn (unbelievably how brothers and sisters who for a long time only had each other in an unfriendly and dangerous world, where being different or deviating from the general line meant being an outcast, could sincerely love and understand each other? and of course no way Godwyn could love and cherish his brothers and sisters because he had once lost his younger brothers and did not want to lose these too).

But the funniest and scariest thing for me, actually the thing that pissed me completely off and made me write this post is that people are seriously so praising Ranni. In comments of the video, where they're condemning Miquella’s actions, they’re saying how cool Ranni is. Fuck, seems like nothing in these people’s heads works? I have nothing against Ranni, she is a character with a cool story, motivation, her quest is one of the most interesting in the game, and the ending is one of the most memorable and cinematic. But it’s so hypocritical. Ranni was literally the one who brought all shit into the fan, the Shattering was caused by her, she orchestrated the murder of a member of the royal family with a terrible weapon, the influence of which spread a literally deadly plague across the land, and blessed Tarnished to do whatever it took to help her, including killing one of her brothers.

The best thing to say is that Miquella and Ranni are worth each other when it comes to "the ends justifies the means". But I don’t see the point in saying which one is better or worse, who is kinder or nobler, who has pursued what goals. For me personally, the whole point of Ranni and Miquella is how their stories ended. Because when Ranni succeeded, Miquella lost, but why? They both did some very shady shit, manipulated, killed, etc. but Ranni got what she wanted while Miquella didn’t. I personally think it’s selfishness. There’s a healthy ego and ambition in Ranni. There’s ambition in Miquella too, after all, he is empyrean but the huge difference is that Ranni has all of her ambitions focused on herself. She sacrifices herself, yes, she literally kills her own body, but that’s the sacrifice she was willing to make, just as much as she was willing to give to get rid of the influence of the Great will. Her soul, her heart, her will, her faith and her principles, they all remain the same from beginning to end, she does not sacrifice her personality, she does not change course, even when faced with difficulties or losses in her way. Because she’s doing it for herself first. Ranni does not aim to save the world or make it a better place, or to help all the poor and sick. Her motivation may be the desire of power, revenge for the fate of her mother, hatred for the Golden order - all that you want and all those reasons are deeply selfish.

Miquella doesn’t want to change the world for himself. He thinks about his sister, about his brother, about the people he’s taken under his protection. He wants to create a better world for them. And this is the point. He’s very altruistic and sacrificial. When it comes to sacrificing himself for the greater good, he does it without a hesitation, but if Ranni gives only what she is allowing to give, Miquella gives everything. And it is a mistake, his biggest mistake. He was thinking about everyone else except himself. Pushed himself too far and eventually lost himself completely. He threw away everything that had made him him, on his way to the top and there was nothing left in the end. No heart, no soul, no love, no kindness. How can you create a kind world if there’s nothing kind left in you?

That’s the key point, because he’s changing the world with his kindness and compassion because he’s capable of it. But when he dropped it, it just didn’t make any sense. I think at the end he was nothing more than an empty shell of a man who had only a phantom target on the horizon, he doesn’t remember what he was doing all this for or nobody who he left behind. He chose the path of absolute self-sabotage and this could not have been successful in any way under the circumstances. If Miquella had become a god, he would have simply become new Marika and continued the cycle. By abandoning himself, Miquella became part of this vicious circle and cruel world. His kindness and compassion were very things that made him special and gave him the power to change the world around him.

I think that’s why Saint Trina asks us to kill Miquella. Free him from the cage of divinity and grant him forgiveness. To me, it looks as if Miquella himself asked us to kill him (she is literally a being born out of his discarded parts), because somewhere deep inside, when he had not gone too far, he understood the wrongness of the way, that was chosen, he wanted forgiveness for all that was done, but he had no way back, nothing to go back to.

In the end:

Ranni, being selfish and purposeful, succeeds and breaks the vicious circle, takes away the Golden order and leaves the world that she does not care much about to recover on its own.

Miquella, being altruistic and compassionate, tries to change the world and the cruel system, but completely loses himself and his goal along the way, becomes part of a vicious cycle of senseless cruelty and dies.

Could he have succeeded? Yes, I believe that. He could have succeeded, but not as a god. At least not as someone who would have taken Marika’s place. In fact, the divinity through the Elden ring and the Divine gate are no different, Marika was on both ends and we all know what have happened to her. I believe that Miquella could have achieved so much more without being a god, without becoming a part of this vicious circle. He had already achieved more than anyone could have imagined with his tree, with the Unalloyed gold, against the Outer gods, and he was not god all this time. If he had found a way to break his curse, if he had been able to do it as he had planned through  Haligtree, history would have gone a whole different way.

To me, he was not and will not be the villain of this story. He’s just another victim, from a long list of suffered the cruelty and injustice of the Elden Ring world.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi! Have you seen the new Mickey Mouse Rebrushed trailer??? Twitter is goin crazy over it and how it’s related to twst 😭 just wanted to hear your thoughts on it

I did spot quite a few parallels with TWST from the Rebrushed trailer! I'm not familiar with Epic Mickey at all, so I'll just be commenting on what I noticed right away. You'll have to excuse my limited knowledge.

Firstly!! This design of Mickey is the exact same as the one we see in TWST. Most noticeable is his white face, which is a fleshy peach color in most modern iterations.

Mickey is reading Alice in Wonderland’s sequel, Through the Looking Glass. Of course, Twisted Wonderland has Wonderland in its title, and even opens with an Alice in Wonderland inspired dorm. Yuu and Mickey also connect via their dreams and through the mirror shared in their rooms.

The theme of dreams is very present and upfront here; Mickey wakes up from sleeping and then creeps to his mirror, which appears to be a portal into another world. Hmm... dreams, mirrors, and traveling to other worlds, now what does that remind you of? You'll also notice that Mickey's room is the exact same as Yuu's room in Ramshackle, right down to the "inverted" room that appears when Mickey passes through the mirror. Everything up until this point is very similar to what is depicted in the 1936 short, Thru the Mirror.

Next, Mickey spies on a wizard carefully using a magic paintbrush over what seems to be a diorama of a bunch of buildings on a plot of land. When the wizard leaves, Mickey fiddles with the paintbrush, causes a mess, and calls forth some kind of black ink monster with green light coming from within it. This seems to be a very close parallel to Overblots, particularly since the most recent OB has a signature neon green color. If we really are to connect Epic Mickey to TWST, this scene also seems to allude that Yuu, Mickey, and/or the "wizard" have parts to play in bringing these Overblots to life. And who do we know that is a powerful wizard that is aware of the corrupting power of blot and runs a large chunk of land... say, a campus? Crowley. This goes hand-in-hand with the theory that Crowley is intentionally allowing these OBs to happen or is even puppeteering his students into OBing.

I find this visual in particular to be very ominous; again, we have the colors that match a certain OB dragon fae but also the map itself reminds me of Twisted Wonderland's and the eerie visual of Malleus's thorns digging into Sage's Island and aiming to go way beyond it.

Anyway, the ink monster is temporarily contained while Mickey returns to his own world. We then get a montage of various Mickey media passing by, as well as a lot of imagery that would imply the passage of time (clocks, the date on the calendar changing, etc.). So... what? Is that implying not only parallel worlds, but also a time skip? Or maybe a time... loop? Like time loop theory???

The ink monster somehow eventually escapes and makes it to Mickey's world, with the blot dripping from the ceiling waking Mickey up from his sleep. It drags Mickey away into a hole drenched in ink. Kind of foreboding when you realize Yuu has also had prophetic dreams... Not of OBs, but of the events leading up to them. And being dragged away into an inky... opening? Like an... abyss? Like book 7, Ruler of the ABYSS?

That's how the trailer concludes!! Gotta say, there's definitely a lot of shared elements between this and TWST. If I recall correctly, Epic Mickey was a game that existed on the Wii waaay before TWST. It even has largely the same cinematic trailer (just with older graphics), so to me it feels like TWST probably took inspiration from Epic Mickey rather than the other way around. There are definitely too many parallels for it to be a coincidence. If that's the case, then we can probably pull some hints for what awaits us in the rest of book 7 from these cinematics. (This is a video comparing the two side-by-side if you think that might be of use!)

[codecicle]

The QSMP is looking for smaller English-speaking streamers, so I figured I'd take the time to introduce qsmpblr to none other than Eric "Condi" Condifiction!!

// this will contain (very minor) spoilers for jrwi riptide, apotheosis, bitb, some prime defenders, and the SCU //

Condi is an English-speaking Canadian who's a part of Just Roll With It (JRWI), the absurdly powerful dnd podcast he runs with his friends Bizly, Grizzly, and Slimecicle!! He plays several characters across their multiple campaigns, along with DM'ing his own campaign of Apotheosis. He plays/played Jay Ferin for Riptide, Rolan Deep for Blood in the Bayou, Sylnan Vengolor for Fated, Flynn Gustwind for Convergence, and Vyncent Sol for Prime Defenders. (plus something im probably forgetting whoops anyway)

He is insanely talented at rp and improv, with some of the more infamous and my favorite examples being episodes 53, 100, and 101 in JRWI: Riptide. The way he plays Jay Ferin is emotionally devastating and incredible, and she's genuinely brought me to tears multiple times. Though he plays his absolute heart out with every character he makes, she's just a neat example of his range and talent. Looking at the differences between Jay, the Navy's daughter, and someone like Rolan Deep, a lawyer returning to his hometown of Galloway to experience The Horrors™ is just wild man. Not to even mention everything he does with Vyncent and his multiple different characters inside him; along with everything he made for his own campaign of Apotheosis.

Something something charlie slimecicle calls him "God Gamer Condifiction." He's really good at video games dude I have no way to talk about this he just is its really scary honestly. On one of his more recent streams he went live playing Only Up! and he beat it in one go without any major setbacks, fast enough to refund the game and get all the money he spent on it back. Just for context.

He also has a background in minecraft roleplay specifically!! He was part of the SCU (Slimecicle Cinematic Universe) where he roleplayed several different characters. God!Condi and 100Days!Condi being the more defined ones. Everything he did in the SCU was nearly pure unscripted improv and incredibly impressive, and I highly recommend you go through and watch it!! (I go into detail on how to get into it on this post)

He doesn't just have background in the roleplay aspects of minecraft though, he was also briefly on SMPEarth and is skilled at regular minecraft too. He mainly strives at the roleplay aspects, but again the whole God Gamer Condifiction thing so ^_^

^ Here's a good example of his regular PVE skills in this video where his chat tortures him through a crowd control mod as he tries to build a cottage core lesbian house

^ Along with a link to of one of my all time favorite videos of his, which I think shows his humor and style of jokes off in a cool way :]

Overall I just really need my dnd guy to be in my favorite minecraft server so he can make so many SCU references with Charlie Slimecicle, then emotionally devastate us through the roleplay aspect. I really hope he manages to get in so everyone gets a taste of his amazing roleplay and gaming (i guess thats how im phrasing it) abilities :DD

Condifiction 👍

[telekinetic-electronica]

Theft King is Wrong about Indigo Park and Here's Why

Theft King is an infamous YouTuber mainly known for the Kane Carter drama and not always having the best takes. He mainly covers Five Nights at Freddy's, and recently seems to be covering a lot more of Poppy Playtime, due to chapter 3. Recently, Theft King made a video critiquing the newest indie mascot horror game, Indigo Park.

Suffice to say, it is not good. This post will be going over why it is not good, and debunking Theft King's own points.

"Indigo Park is the least original mascot horror game ever made. Between the tired, cliched premise of returning to an abandoned children's establishment, the enemy designs, the unnervingly cute, mascot character, and multiple sequences that appear to be directly lifted from Poppy Playtime. You'd just think this was another Garten of Banban-eqsue cash in. In a lot of ways, it kind of is. But it's more complicated than that."

Through your introduction to this video, it is quite obvious that you are biased. For starters, to call Indigo Park the LEAST original mascot horror game ever made is a big claim to make. Like, seriously, out of ALL the games out there, Indigo Park is? While, yes, the concept of finding out what happened to an abandoned children's establishment isn't original, it has a unique twist to it. We have Rambley to accompany us through out the park. It actually FEELS like a place that could exist in real life. It's also obvious Geese is a fan of mascot horror and got inspired from Five Nights at Freddy's and Poppy Playtime.

Also to compare Indigo Park to Garten of Banban is literally insane to me. You are comparing the dedicated, passion, and willingly to learn with Indigo with GARTEN OF BANBAN? The POSTER child of what NOT to do with mascot horror? Also, Theft King through out the entire video compares Indigo Park to Poppy Playtime, specifically chapter 3. When Indigo Park was in production BEFORE chapter 3 came out.

Before the recent Rambley plush, Indigo Park was for free and the money came of Geese's own pocket to fund this game. To say this a "cash grab" is very dismissing the hard work and passion Geese and the Indigo Park team put into the game.

"The game begins with a really slick cinematic depicting the establishment of Indigo Park. Alongside it's founder, Isaac Indigo. Isaac Indigo?! Hold on. That's not a name that humans have. This guy's definitely a space alien. I'm calling that now"

While the last part is definitely a joke on his end, there's a lot of reasons to explain why Indigo is Isaac's last name. For one, Indigo is a REAL last name. It's just uncommon. Second, there is thing called suspension of disbelief. It is when something fantastical happens that can't happen in real life, but you suspend your disbelief because it is a work of fiction. If you can suspend your disbelief to a murderous lion and parrot, I'm pretty sure you can suspend your disbelief to this old guy's name being Indigo. And third, there is such a thing called legally changing your name. Besides, why is this even here? This is just a nitpick.

"As the game begins we find the park's main gates sealed. And upon heading into the service station next door, we encounter Rambley. The single best part of Indigo Park. Rambley is an AI, raccoon mascot that serves as our guide. Appearing on countless, conveniently placed televisions through out the game. He's fantastic. His dialogue is well written, his voice actor is great and his animation is expressive and charming. He's the single best part of the game, but, Rambley is a crutch that Indigo Park leans far too heavily on. Though, we'll get there later."

While he does say he'll get to it later, I would like to still address this point right now. Rambley is a core part of the game. Rambley is the second protagonist, and is obviously going to be very important to the plot. He's going to be accompanying us through out however many chapters there are. Chapter 1, like many introductions, are we are getting to know the characters. Rambley is in a big chunk of chapter 1 is because besides, Ed, he's our secondary protagonist, and knows the in's-and-out's of the park, and knows crucial information. This will be expanded more when Theft King gets to this part. Rambley isn't a "crutch". The game is literally setting up the characters and scene. Like, y'know, how many first chapters do.

"And enter the doors to the park and enter the Critter Corner, where we're given a Fazwatch from FNAF: Security Breach. It's useless. It's just a plot device to justify why some doors don't open until they need to."

Theft King, have you ever been to an amusement park before? Many amusement parks have bands on to indicate you are someone entering, and not sneaking in. If you did an ounce of research, the Critter Cuff is a reference to Disney's Magic Bands. Do you only get your information from indie mascot horror? Do you not think stuff like this doesn't exist in real life? While, yes it can be a reason why some doors won't open. But you clearly weren't even paying attention to the own game you are playing.

(Disney Magic Band)

(Indigo Park Critter Cuff)

(FNAF Fazwatch) The Critter Cuff looks NOTHING like a Fazwatch and has difference uses. Gregory can use the Fazwatch to see the map of the Pizzaplex, get emails, communicate with Glamrock Freddy, among other things. All the Critter Cuff can do is be a pedometer, heart monitor, and mood ring. The Fazwatch and Critter Cuff doesn't even have the same functions.

The Critter Cuff also just doesn't acts like this. It's hinted the Critter Cuff can keep away the mascots. When Lloyd was about to attack Ed, it let out a frequency that made Lloyd back off. Pay attention to what's happening on the screen and story, Theft King.

"Proceeding through an awkwardly placed loading zone, we find ourselves in some sort of subway, tunnel movie theater? I don't know the area's design wasn't very coherent. Look at that Poppy Playtime ass floor. Although, something is going on with the resolution or something. I don't know."

...As he says when the ride for this area is a train. Trains are often located underground. Also, apparently, according to Theft King any colorful, floor patterns is a rip off of Poppy Playtime when the ride is a reference to Mickey and Minnie's Railway. As for the "movie posters", Theft King the ride is clearly meant to introduce the park goers to the characters and other rides to this world. Please, pay attention and think before assuming something.

"After the train ride, Rambley gives us cart blanche to go wherever we want. Though, it's at this point, I noticed the game scaling. You know, the size of everything relative to your character? It's really weird. We are very short, I have to be perfectly honest. [...] When was the last time you walked up to a kiosk, a stand and your chin was like touching the table?"

This is just a nitpick. While, yes, it can look a little jarring, but out of all of things you're critiquing is the fucking counter "being too big"? Theft King, do you have spatial awareness? The counter is at Ed's chest, not eye level. Besides, you're not even fully looking up.

Also, for some reason, he genders nail polish for some reason? Either saying it was nail polish or a bad "fingernail texture"? Which. Okay? Men can wear nail polish too, Theft King. It isn't a gendered thing.

"The next area is probably the most visually striking in the game. A large fountain square with a strange clock tower and Ferris wheel in the distance. It's pretty cool. But there's a lot of empty sky box visible and it's fairly obvious that there's absolutely nothing beyond these buildings that we can see the illusion that this is actually outside is completely broken. And as a result, this area feels more like a sound stage or movie set than an actual place. It just needed a lot more low resolution buildings and rides and stuff in the distance. Because it's obvious behind this clock tower, is just an endless void."

Theft King, once again, have you ever been to a theme park? It's the entrance to the ACTUAL park. You don't get to see everything right off the bat, it's just a taste of the actual theme park. If Geese and co. added more buildings and rides, it would look VERY cluttered and jankily put in together. It would also be way overstimulating, and ruin the atmosphere of the decayed, left-to-rot theme park with all of these lights and colors. It is a horror game, Theft King. Atmosphere, setting, and lighting are important here. It just seems like if you aren't being entertained for more than 2 seconds you're crying out it's "boring and just looks like a set piece."

Besides, do you think all of the budget is going to be spent on the buildings, just so it be can be aesthetically pleasing? A problem Theft King (and the majority of the indie mascot horror critics I see) really need to stop expecting brand new, horror indie games to be AAA quality. Geese funded chapter one from his own pocket money. Geese is the only programmer. Geese is still a beginner and still in college. The fact he is still a beginner, and pulled this off shows that he's a fast learner, willingly to learn, and talented. Give him some slack.

"[...] But we find that the door [Jetstream Junction's] is locked. This fountain square station is huge, but there's really only one destination. Lloyd's Mane Stage Theater. [...] Check out the LOD's on this box. There's no bar code, bard code. No bar code, bar code. Indigo Park is made in Unreal Engine 5, and it's really pretty at times. Though, certain effects are obviously pretty janky. Yeah, the flashlight looks kind of like ass. The flashlight looming shadows are pretty janky. You can see them kind of wobbling and flickering around. I turned on all of the fancy features and while the game looks really moody and atmospheric when lights aren't moving, the flashlight doesn't really look well with it. The shadows flicker and jiggle all over the place and it just looks really bad."

Okay, if it certain effects are janky, how are they janky? What could they improve on to not make it less janky? For the flashlight bit, you are holding a flashlight and how it's meant to be done is suppose to be more realistic, according to Geese. Also, this is just really nitpicky. If anything, it's a a subtle thing and you get used to the flashlight feature pretty quickly. It kind of just sounds like you're picking this game apart, if it was an AAA game. The game is not perfect, by any means. But tearing and shredding to bit little, tiny, things when this project has ONE coder, who spent all of us OWN money, is still a beginner, and IS STILL in college.

When someone is a beginner and showing a willingly to learn, you have to take a different approach. It'd be one thing if Geese was doing programming for years, but he's not. You have to redirect your criticism and maybe, I don't know, give suggestions? You haven't really gone into what he could do to improve, and give examples to help him out. This is like treating someone who's a beginner drawer and expecting Michelangelo perfect details. They're drawing is still good, there's noticeable mistakes, but there's room to improve and grow. Also, Theft King, you literally have your settings maxed out. Maybe trying lowering them.

"Earlier, Rambley asked us where we wanted to go first. Implying, that we had a choice. [...] We don't. We go where exactly where Rambley says, always. That's the name of the game. Rambley tells you to go somewhere and you do it. Honestly, until the theater just now, every area in this game has been walk in, talk to Rambley, and walk out."

Theft King, asking a small, indie team to program a BUNCH of stuff you can do within an entire SECTION of an area is... a lot to ask, don't you think? Like, yes. I will admit I will agree there should be a lot more interactable with the items around that Ed can explore, I think that's a good point to bring up. But those would just be side things to do. You still have to progress the main story of chapter one. You can be patient for one minute. They are clearly building up to something. Besides, it's an abandoned theme park, I doubt any of the items inside would work. It's "walk in and walk out" to set the atmosphere of what's about to come, and let your guard down. It's not that hard to put two and two together.

Also, as I said before, to put pressure on one programmer to program so many things all at once is just not a cool thing to do. It sounds like you have to be entertained 24/7. Be patient, and wait. They're building up to something. Just wait.

"[...] Like I said before, the whole game is just kind of just walking into an area, having Rambley talk to you for a bit, and tell you where to go next. We find ourselves in Mollie's Landing Pad, which is a play pen highly reminiscent of DogDays from Poppy Playtime Chapter 3 or The Daycare from FNAF: Security Breach. This section presents itself as a puzzle, but it's really not. It's another fetch quest. Embedded in the walls, are five-colored that each can be set to one of four symbols. And throughout the area, we find paintings of shapes that correspond to the code. Again, it's not really a puzzle. It's just a slightly, contrived justification to make you wonder through this area and experience all of the scripted sequences." Rambley "tells you where to go" is because it is establishing how his game mechanic works, expanding on his personality, and him finding out the horrors of the park and what happened to everything. It's setting up how things are going to go down. Rambley is an AI park, GUIDE. Rambley is LITERALLY doing his job, GUIDING us around the park. Pay attention to what's going on.

Last time I checked, play pins are a big part of children's entertainment. Your local Chuck E. Cheese has this exact same, ball pit. Poppy Playtime and FNAF doesn't owe the rights to a colorful, play pit. See, through out his review Theft King calls Indigo Park a rip off of Poppy Playtime Chapter 3, and of Security Breach. But never goes into detail as to WHY and HOW it is. Sure, he shows via visuals, but never expands fully on his point on itself. Also, "fetch quest"? Fetch quests are something you get and return to an NPC. This, by definition is a puzzle. What are we exactly fetching, here? We're solving a puzzle to open the door. Also, wow! Scripted horror events in tight closed spaces! What a twist! Sarcasm.

"Unfortunately, by this point, the game had all but telegraphed that I wasn't in any danger and thus, I wasn't really scared."

...You literally have shown insistences of being scared? Through out when you were walking through Lloyd's maze thing, and when Mollie was peeking around the corners in the slides. You HAVE shown you were scared, or at least startled. Thus, it did it's job of being a horror game. Theft King, something doesn't need to be happening 24/7 to do it's job. Sometimes horror works better in subtle ways than just blaring red, warning signs all over the place, or having a scary chase scene.

"After pressing a button, with no visible indication of what it does."

...Look down. The fact that you couldn't even pay attention to something as something simple as this, tells me you weren't even doing a fraction or even cared to actually pay attention to what was happening, gameplay or lore wise. That's how much care was put into "reviewing" this game.

"As the leader of the FNAF community and for the former, top five greatest FNAF player in the world, I shouldn't have died to that."

Why are you running directly towards Mollie? You only died because you ran straight into the obvious "RUN NOW" part of the game.

"Yeah, it's literally the DogDays sequence from Poppy Playtime. It's literally the same thing. I criticized the DogDays chase in Chapter 3 for being boring, so, naturally, this cheap, knockoff is... even more boring. Normally, in my videos, the chase sequence is like a free 30 to 60 seconds of watch time. I just let it play because it's exciting. However, as I edit this video, I realized I have to cut this chase down, it's so boring. And I think that says a lot. [...] Then we see ourselves being chased through vents, just like Poppy Playtime Chapter 1."

Theft King, being chased down closed, liminal spaces isn't something Poppy Playtime owns. There are MANY differences. For one, in the DogsDays chase, you have to avoid the smaller creatures trying to get you, on top of the possessed DogDays chasing you, which is quite fast in the decrepit area. In Indigo Park, you're still the Landing Pad, going down slides, and jumping on things to get away from Mollie. Which leads into the Ranglers' room area. The areas look ENTIRELY different, and so do the vents in Chapter 1 of Poppy Playtime and here.

Also, you're not suppose to wait 30-60 seconds. You're suppose to be actively running away from the monsters. Y'know, the whole point of a chase sequence, and y'know, playing the game. It's "boring" because Indigo Park lets your guard down, when the chase is STILL happening until you see Rambley again.

"That was when it hit me. Despite Indigo Park being the definition of a shallow, walking simulator that that is in many ways, even less original than Garten of BanBan, I was still enjoying it. But, only thanks to Rambley. Rambley carries this game. Without him and his great dialogue and acting, Indigio Park would be entirely forgettable. For all of BanBan's faults, the game has this at least has this unique, bizarre, liminal style to it. Even if it's completely incoherent. Indigo Park's environments are generic. They're boring. There are some cool rooms and set pieces, but this doesn't really feel like an abandoned theme park. Like I said before, it feels like a sound stage. This is the video game equivalent to those haunted house rides that shepherd you through a series of rooms as scripted sequences play predictably each time. Rambley is the only thing keeps you playing because he's great. But, the longer Indigo Park goes on, the more and more obvious it becomes that he's a massive crutch that it leans on to mask the lack of any real subsite gameplay, interesting environments, or even compelling narrative.

We know that something bad happened here and it caused the park to be evacuated and closed down but once we get inside, we just see that place is trashed. There isn't much in the environment that hints at what actually happened. And without those breadcrumbs of mystery, the only real reason to keep moving forward is because Rambley tells us to. And HE IS, quite entertaining. However, I am skeptical, that this trick will work twice. Rambley kept me going for the roughly 1 hour it takes to beat Indigo Park Chapter 1, but it had started getting old. Fellow YouTuber, UniqueGeese is crowdfunding for chapter 2 right now and I think that's awesome. But they're going have to do more to have to do more for the follow up game and because chapter 1 has ZERO gameplay with which to build on, it's not really clear what a more ambitious sequel would even look like. Poppy ran into the same problem. Prior to chapter 3, the gameplay was just like... puzzles, scripted sequences and freaking Simon Says. With the latest entry, they added real gameplay mechanics and some would argue that Poppy suffered as a result. By failing to establish any actual, gameplay in chapter 1, Indigo Park either needs to introduce something totally new in chapter 2 or continue with the shallow scripted, walking simulator approach but just turn up the spectacle and fidelity." Out of all the points in this video, this one made me sigh the most.

To even COMPARE Indigo Park to Garten of BanBan is a huge insult. Garten of BanBan pumps out game after game, merch after merch, to make a quick buck and splash because right now indie, mascot horror is still popular. This game took over a YEAR to make, and had love and time, and passion, and giving a fresh, twist on it and to even say BanBan offered something better is just... really gross, in my opinion.

For the environments bit, you can see clearly where nature takes it's course through out the land with bushes and grass, and the decay of food in one of the cafes taking place. It's setting up the atmosphere of being decayed, left to rot, and feels like something's in the shadows. It's to make you unnerved that happiness used to be here, but now it's gone.

And YES! The lore IS there! You actively have to PAY ATTENTION as to what's going on. The problem with this point is that Theft King expects the game to paint the entire picture of what happened. When part of Indigo Park is it's mystery. Mollie repeats words of the workers abusing her, or the fact that Lloyd used to be the face of the brand, or the hidden cage within the arcade game, and Mollie saying "Get back in your cage, bird." Something Salem says within game. Or showing us the mascots got corrupted by something, and implying this isn't their original selves, but the actual cartoony mascots. You just have to wait, it's giving intrigue, but not painting the entire picture because it's just chapter 1. You'll probably see more of what happened later on. Be patient. A big part of Indigo Park's horror is how TERRIBLE the mascots were treated, and the abuse they suffered via the workers and people attending the park. That is interlinked with what happened to the park, 8 years ago.

With this point, it just seems like if nothing is happening 24/7, you're just bored. The phrase "walking simulator" has been done to death. We're being introduced to the basic game mechanics. Of course chapter 2 is going to be better than chapter 1. Literally all I have to say for this entire nothing burger of critique is "pay attention and let the devs cook".

"We encounter another information kiosk. Which lets us hear the dialogue for the remaining secret items we found. The mask during the chase sequence reveals a secret audio tape with objectively worse voice acting within the entire game."

How are you a FNAFTuber and not know what Dayshift at Freddy's is? It's one of the most popular parody FNAF games out there. The voice acting is bad on purpose because a.) it's mocking the text-to-voice speech the game uses b.) it's a joke.

Then near the end he says how his critiques were fair, and then states he likes the game, and says it's fun? Even though he spent the entirety of the game saying it's a boring, cheap knock off of Poppy Playtime and FNAF? I'm getting mixed signals here. All of this review was not expanding on any of his points, or if he did, it was something already within the game, and he clearly wasn't paying attention and actually looking around for secrets. You're suppose to be looking for clues, not getting handed to you.

This review was just "meh it's bad", and doesn't give any helpful criticism on how said game can improve, and even just downright insults the game multiple times. For the majority of the review, he just narrates what's going on, with spliced clips of him playing this on a stream. If anything, this just pads out the entire review, and waiting to get to an actual part of where he has a point. It, frankly, gets annoying after awhile, until he basically just sums up what he thought about the game just all at the end. It seems like Theft King really only made this video was to get clicks and views.

Now, everyone on YouTube wants this, obviously. But he really just seems likes poking the bear and making fun of people getting mad at him. Even if his critiques were not good. At all. Indigo Park isn't the best game ever or even the best indie mascot game made ever. It was entirely made out of bad faith, just to get a quick buck. A big problem I have with the video is the only harping on the "lack of gameplay."

I think people forget the games "feels sameish to Poppy Playtime and FNAF" is because they are horror games, who are first person and exploration games. Yes, you can tell there is inspiration but it does NOT copy the games at all, and just does homages to them and pays respects to them. Geese is a fan of mascot horror, and clearly respects them. It's not a "walking simulator", it's doing it's job as an EXPLORATION horror game. People have been using "walking simulator" as a critique and just have beaten that horse to DEATH. Give an actual, substance criticism or move on. Not to mention, he literally says that "they copied Fnaf Jr's death screen" when it was made by the same artist.

Also, for the obvious gotcha,

For him claiming it's "unoriginal" and a "ripoff", is coming from the guy who's VTuber avatar is just a white recolor of CatNap.

Just wanna add:

Listen. I know it's Theft King and he just does this to piss people off at this point but to just shame, put down, and put baseless claims of Indigo Park being a rip off, when it's inspired, not a rip off, of a passion project from a team that put so much love and time into it, is just really gross and needs to be called out.

Thanks for reading!

[astralexpressarchives]

The Renheng Iceberg Explained

Alright so there's this renheng iceberg on twitter that I was recently informed about. I'm wayyy too deep into the lore so I skipped to the bottom and everything there was stuff I was already more than familiar with.

So I figured why not put all this information to some use and make a post explaining the more obscure items on the iceberg and leaving out the self-explanatory ones, doing my best to reference as well as possible.

Blade gazing at Imbibitor Lunae statue

This was a hidden interaction where you could find Blade standing near the statue of Imbibitor Lunae at the scalegorge after revealing Dan Heng's vidyadhara form. He says he is 'mourning for folly' and asks you if Dan Heng is happy. You can watch a video about this here.

Good friends who are bad for each other

This is Kafka's description of what she knows about Blade and Dan Heng's history in her companion quest. This answer is a "truth" in her game of truth and lies.

"Apparently, they used to be good friends... Well, good friends who were bad for each other. Bladie forgot nearly everything, so he doesn't remember well. Together, they did something bad — something terrible. It led to horrific consequences. That's the information I managed to piece together. Bladie refused to tell me the details."

Dan Heng gets nightmares about blade

We see this in-game in the cinematic leading up to the Xianzhou questline. This is also suggested in the Only Silence Remains lightcone description.

Matching Jade Ornaments

Referring to this idea.

There is also a vidyadhara egg that says:

"You edge closer to the pearlescent shell and have a dream in which you are a Pearlkeeper who rides the waves, and travels across the ancient sea with your true love. The time you have spent with your lover is full of happiness, but the time of hatching rebirth is determined by destiny. You secretly put a jade pendant in your mouth so your lover can recognize each other in the next life."

And considering that DH:IL 4 story has him refusing to speak during the entirety of his interrogation, death sentence, and final verdict, it definitely leaves room for imagination.

Bracer Lore

This one encompasses a few of the other ones on the iceberg, too. Really, it's worth reading the entirety of the Passerby of Wandering Clouds relic set lore. Keep in mind all relic sets are in chronological order of head/gloves/body/feet. The bracer also mentions this part about 'That owner also once shared company and drinks with the unnamed, the two of them simply gazing at the moon with no words exchanged.' This has an interesting meaning in CN that tells us this drinking was an engagement ceremony. People thought this must be a typo but, despite many tickets from people, their only response has been that they're unable to comment further. They still haven't changed it as of patch 1.4.

Dan Heng polishes and gaze longingly at Cloud Piercer

A recent addition in patch 1.4 where Pom-pom now says:

"Passenger Dan Heng often carefully maintains and polishes his spear. Although the Express is very safe, it seems that he is not willing to drop his guard. Hmm, Pom-Pom can tell that when he polishes his spear, there isn't just alertness in his eyes, but a glint of longing, too. Don't underestimate me, Pom-Pom had dealt with all kinds of different passengers!"

I'm sure by now everyone knows that cloudpiercer was made by Yingxing (Blade).

You can see screenshots of this interaction in this post.

Mirror Inverted Colours

Apparently, a big part of CN character design focuses around the concept of inverted colour palette designs for ships. Because Blade and Dan Heng share inverted colours, this is considered a good sign for the ship as it indicates they were most likely designed together.

Danmei Coded

Danmei is the CN genre for mlm. It has a lot of stereotypical tropes that are very common in this genre and apply to renheng also. My personal opinion is that renheng is very similar to something written by Meatbun in particular - this is a danmei author who wrote erha, yuwu, and casefile compendium. The associated tropes are:

Lovers to enemies back to lovers angst timeline often including misunderstandings involving tragic betrayal

Black/red character x white/blue/green character

Under the moonlight

Amnesia and/or reincarnation themes

Protag did something that made everybody turn on them + complicated political drama plot

Redemption in death/isolation/retreating from the world at the end

Waiting frankly ridiculous amounts of time to be with the lover again

One character pursuing the other character literally

One character considered dead or demonic in some capacity, the other is ethereal and godly

Mortal x immortal

Afterlife/spirit realm shenanigans usually involving fractured souls as a result of torment

Contrasting personalities + others don't think they should get along/are bad for each other (usually the deviant personality is considered to be corrupting the noble/revered personality in some way which often involves a rebellion)

Mirrored Ultimates

Their ultimate animation sequences are very similar with close eyes with weapon - open eyes - attack.

And both of their ultimates take place in different versions of the same location:

Vidyadharas can't identify items belonging to their past yet Dan Heng got the bracer, jade pendant(?), and cloud piercer

There is an NPC named Lingling in the alchemy commission who is responsible for assisting in vidyadhara hatching rebirth. She collects the personal belongings of vidyadhara who claim that they want to keep the items for their next life. She says that:

From what I've seen, most Vidyadhara lack emotions fresh after their rebirth, and are unable to understand the sentiments of their previous selves. Not a single one has ever been able to identify which one of these items used to belong to them.

This is a big indicator that DH = DF and that their romance will be continuing in this life, too. We know from Passerby of Wandering Clouds relic set that Dan Heng is still in possession of the bracer because of the line: "His fingertips could still faintly feel the temperature from the other."

The stars always accompany the moon

This is a reference to their names in CN where the Xing in Yingxing means moon and the Yue in Yinyue jun (Imbibitor Lunae) means Moon. Their ship name Xingyue means Star and Moon, which is often why you will see them referred to with the Star/Moon emojis as well as the sword/leaf emoji.

Blade came to see Dan Heng blushing when Xiyan asked him to act the character in his story

This is referring to this video on weibo where Dan Heng is talking to Xiyan. You can see the characters in the crowd then Dan Heng starts blushing. The next time you see the crowd, Blade has arrived third from the right.

"Eternal Regrets of a High Elder" and "Dreams from a Past Life"

These are arias from the Cloudcry Songbook written by a Vidyadhara named Lingjie who reincarnated into Chunfen. Lingjie was an opera singer and apparently a big fan of Dan Feng and his romantic life.

My friend wrote the poem analysis of both of these arias. I would strongly recommend reading her translations.

TW: These translations do include mentions of a new leaked poem. Some of the content is NSFW.

Dan Heng named himself "Dan Heng" due to the "Dan" character carved by Yingxing/Blade

We know that Vidyadhara do not usually name themselves based on their past lives as they have no attachment to them. The other iteration of Dan Heng was named Yubie for example. Dan Heng's name in CN is  丹恒. The Dan 丹 means red/pellet/powder/cinnabar. You can see Dan is inscribed on his spear that Yingxing made for him, thus the logical conclusion is that Dan Heng saw the inscription and chose it as his name.

The Star of the East (Jupiter, Wood Star)'s god is Ying Xing, and their guardian beast is Azure Dragon/Canglong/Qinglong

This one is the only one I didn't understand when I first saw it, so I had to request the help of my CN knowing friends to figure it out.

Yingxing's name is 应星 (where the 星 means star).

The CN god of Jupiter Taisui Xingjun 太岁星君 is known as Yin Jiao 殷交

Jupiter is the planet associated with the Chinese wood element, known as the wood star

Azure Dragon is known as Canglong or Qinglong in CN. This is the guardian of Jupiter (the wood star).

Blade's fansong equates Yingxing with 听星 (judging star) which is an alias for Taisui Xingjun

You can read my friend's explanation of the relevant line in the fansong below.

Dan Feng's crime was inspired by Chang'E, the moon goddess for stealing an elixir of immortality and Yingxing was inspired by Hou Yi, a mortal and husband of Chang'E (he was given immortality but didn't, this parallels and contrasts Yingxing's immortality)

So there's actually a bit more to this. I'm going to just use my friend's explanation here:

According to Shang dynasty’s Guicang, It is said that there is a moon maiden who escaped to the moon after stealing an immortality pill. This story was eventually given more details: The moon maiden became known as Heng’e 姮娥, who was the wife of Hou Yi - the hero who shot down the 9 suns. Hou Yi was given an immortality pill/herb as a reward, but Heng’e stole it and flew to the moon. In some versions, upon finding out, Hou Yi tried to shot down her to prevent her from floating to the moon, but he hesitated and ended up choosing not to in the end because he still loved her. In the moon, Heng’e stayed in a palace called 廣寒宮 (the Vast Palace of Coldness) and cursed to be separated from her husband, alone with only the moon rabbits and the immortal osmanthus tree forever. Later on, her name was changed to Chang’e 嫦娥 because Emperor Wen of Han’s name was 劉恆 Liu Heng, and so the 姮 Heng part of her name became a taboo. The interesting here is that 姮 (Heng’e), 恆 (Liu Heng), 恒 (Dan Heng) are all alternative ways to write the same character, 姮, which originally means moon, Heng’e. In addition, we also have a lot of official artworks depicting Dan Heng with the moon and osmanthus flowers:

Yeah so I think that just about covers everything. I left out the ones that were self-explanatory but if anyone is still confused about any of them I can try to elaborate further in the replies.

[lexithwrites]

what bkdk fics have you read and really liked? what other mha ships do you read?

OKAY! Imma do a lil fic rec list rn because I’ve been reading BakuDeku like crazy and have some good bookmarks. Now, I still have a LOT of bookmarked stories to get through, so I'll be sure to update this if people would like me too, but here are my fav bakudeku fics/short stories I've read so far:

From The Sidelines by suffocatingspring

You know this had to be on here, its just,,,,i know people have mixed opinions (mostly the outfit choices which i do agree with are,,,,choices) but this story was beautiful. I loved katsuki's chapters so fucking much, being able to see inside his mind and how he thinks and views izuku was amazing and its just a really fun, angsty, romance filled story. its quite smutty, although i think people freak out about that a little too much on tiktok but thats coming from someone that writes petplay regularly lmao, but i really love this. its so long, its addicting, and my god its CINEMATIC. this was the first bakudeku fic i ever read too, so it really got me into the anime again as well as the ship PLUS IT HAS SO MUCH GOOD 80s MUSIC THAT IVE SAVED AND LISTEN TO DAILY NOW PLS DOWNLOAD THE PLAYLIST FOR THE FULL EXPERIANCE MY GOD

It's Okay Because its You by suffocatingspring

this is the authors only other story and it was another joy! ive never read hanahaki stories before but it was gut wrenching, ilterally, how beautiful and horrifying the fictional disease is. we see a pining, desperatley in love katsuki with such a sweet izuku. they're both silly for not admitting their feelings but we had to have the angst somewhere, it was just another joy to read!

Drop Dead, Gorgeous by thewunderkind

THIS. FIC. its got rpg, its got angst, its got miscommunication, its got childhood friends to lovers, its got the bakusquad being so into this relationship, its got BOTTOM BAKUGO, and its got police officer deku in uniform good lord guys. its so fucking funny and sweet and fluffy and just very lovely, i havent fully finished it yet but im so into the world they've created, i fucking love video games and romance bro UGHHHHHH and katsuki is a DESPERATE man in this one, also the video game lore??? its great

Save Your Tears by starless_skies

this fic has kept me up at night. its not completed yet, the author hasn't updated since june, and im truly praying to a god i dont believe in that they update one day. im so into this story, its got bumbass yo shindo in it (i love him in canon but hes a bitch here) and izuku just doing his best and THEN ONCE AGAIN YEARNING PINING BAKUGO WHOSE ALWAYS LOVED HIM BUT LET HIM GO TO WORK ON HIMSELF PLEASE i love this bakugo guys seriously, and their relationship is so beautiful and they know each other like clockwork, HOWEVER i will say there are a couple TW in this one for what id say is emotional abuse in the marriage, just a lot of mistrust and lying and MAJOR gaslighting so just bare that in mind going into it, Yo is a twat

if anyone has any fic recs for other mha ships pls send them my way! i love kiribaku, tododeku, kirirmina, momojiro, todomomo, kamijiro, and ive been eyeing up todobaku,,,,,i'll read a lot haha

[layton-heritage-posts]

i came here from the BDSM fluffery and stayed to find out there's an expansive lore. What do you mean there's a yuri fanfic about you and another heritage blog?? you have an evil clone??? Fascinating fascinating I am intrigued to learn more! And also more about this lovely game franchise you seem so fond of, I am only familiar with ace attorney so this is!!! Wonderful news to a curious lot such as myself that there are MORE.

-sincerely, an experiment

1. The fanfiction author has their own blog where all the lore about heritage yuri is compiled, @lhpxaahpya

2. My evil clone exists purely to mock my very existence. They are also a relatively new addition to the layton Heritage posts cinematic universe

3. If you are an ace attorney fan you're gonna feel right at home with Layton games. The trifecta of Ace Attorney, Professor Layton and Ghost Trick has been unofficially titled as "superwholock for people who like ds visual novels".

4. You don't even know half of my lore yet. The Heritagesona. The triple Baka Video. The underground archive where I live. The fact that you have to kill me to become the new LHP. The-

5. If you're looking for a place to get started, I recommend either:

- Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright

A crossover game between ace attorney and professor layton, in case the title wasn't obvious enough. Perfect game for people who only know ace attorney ans wanna dip their toes into layton games. Also the Perfect game for people who only know professor layton and wanna try out ace attorney. Both the Puzzles and Court Cases are easier than in the other games and the story. Let's just say the story is a handful but it's still a really good game.

- Professor Layton and the Curious Village

The first ever Layton game, recently remastered for mobile phones and such its the most easily available game on the list (aside from piracy or a hacked 3ds obviously). It's certainly shows it's age and a case of "first-game-in-the-series-itis", but that luckily doesn't hurt the game that badly and is still a good time.

- Professor Layton and the Specter's Call

You know how with star wars there is the original trilogy and the prequel trilogy? It's the same with Layton.

Curious village is the first game in the og trilogy, and Specters Call is the first game in the prequels. Personally, this is the game I usually recommend to start with because I think it perfectly encapsulates that Layton feel, but this is just my opinion. It's fun, it's mystery element is great, I love the aesthetic, banger game.

[antimony-medusa]

MCYT on Ao3 — July '23

The state of MCYT on Ao3, just for fun. Yes I do this every month, I like numbers. 

The Cube SMP (8 works)

Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series) (9 Works)

iDots SMP (14 works)

30 Day SMP | Free Trial SMP (27 works)

Legacy SMP (27 works)

Epic SMP (30 works)

Cogchamp SMP (32 works)

Kaboodle SMP (33 works)

Art of Survival SMP (33 works)

Dominion SMP (33 works)

Shady Oaks SMP (42 works)

X Life SMP (45 works)

Mer SMP (50 works)

Area Unknown SMP (51 works)

IvoryCello's Prison Escapes (Web Series) (52 works)

100 Hours Hardcore SMP (53 works)

Bear SMP (55 works)

New Life SMP (70 works)

SadSMP (70 works)

Magic Animal Club (89 works)

Tortillaland SMP (103 works)

Slimecicle Cinematic Universe (Web Series) (111 works)

House Builder Gang SMP | HBG SMP (129 works)

WitchCraft SMP (157 works)

Rats SMP (202 works)

SMPEarth (252 works)

SMPLive (274 works)

Outsiders SMP (277 works)

Mianite (Web Series) (357 works)

Yandere High School (Web Series) (370 works)

Afterlife SMP (371 works)

Evolution SMP (492 works)

MindCrack RPF (493 works)

Fable SMP (694 works)

Karmaland SMP (729 works)

Lifesteal SMP (1,021 works)

Origins SMP (1,416 works)

QSMP | Quackity SMP (2,256 works)

Empires SMP (5,235 works)

3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series (7,127 works)

Hermitcraft SMP (16,348 works)

Dream SMP (78,022 works)

Minecraft (Video Game) (107,041 works)

Video Blogging RPF (255,567 works)

Some Notes:

The only new SMP this month is New Life SMP!

Fics are primarily in English, but now we have three exceptions with significant Spanish fics: Karmaland, Tortilla SMP, and QSMP. QSMP also includes fics in Brazilian Portugese and a (very few) in French.

A couple of the smaller fandoms saw fic decreases, and 100 Hours Hardcore saw a 1-fic decrease for the third month in a row.

For smaller fandoms, both SMPEarth and Outsiders SMP tied for growth, both showing increases of 14 fics. Those are both original canonized tags for MCYT, so we also have one year of stats. Notably, that 14-fic increase breaks SMPEarth's monthly average of 9 fics per month, but doesn't beat Outsider's month-over-month average of 16 fics per month.

For mid-sized fandoms, the stand out is once again our friend Fable SMP, which has a consistent month over month growth pattern, showing a growth of 33 fics this month. Fable is one of the original canonized tags however, so we know that this month doesn't reach the heights of some of the previous months this past year, as the yearly average is 42 per month— by they did break last month's record of 32!

Lifesteal broke the 1k mark and I now officially consider them one of the bigger fandoms! Let's go Lifesteal!

In the larger fandoms, QSMP’s increase of 628 fics did not reach last month’s 692 or the previous month’s 816, but still beat out Empires (218 fics), Hermitcraft (501 fics), and 3rd Life (364 fics). The only one that beat it was Dream SMP, with an increase of 1,376. Dream SMP also broke last month’s increase of 1,357, but did not reach their month-over-month average of 2,446.

Of the canonized tags last year, Dream SMP has shown several months of not reaching their monthly average, Hermitcraft’s 501 this month did not beat their monthly average of 593, Empires 218 this month did not reach their monthly average of 296, Lifesteal's 58 this month did not beat their monthly average of 76, but the one standout is 3rd life, whose 364 this month DID indeed beat their monthly average increase of 359. 

Detailed breakdown of increases under the cut, showing both one month of increases, and one year of changes.

The Cube SMP (8 works, 8 last month, 0-fic increase | 9 works last year, 1-fic decrease over a year, which is an average of 0.08 fic decrease per month

Slamacow Minecraft Animations (Web Series) (9 Works, 10 last month, 1-fic decrease | was not canonized last year)

iDots SMP (14 works, 14 last month, 0-fic increase | was not caonized last year)

30 Day SMP | Free Trial SMP (27 works, 27 last month, 0-fic increase | 25 last year, 2-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 0.17 fic increase per month)

Legacy SMP (27 works, 27 last month, 0-fic increase | 22 last year, 5-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 0.42 fic increase per month)

Epic SMP (30 works, 30 last month, 0-fic increase | 28 last year, 2-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 0.42 fic increase per month)

Cogchamp SMP (32 works, 32 last month, 0-fic increase | 28 last year, 4-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 0.33 fic increase per month)

Kaboodle SMP (33 works, 28 last month, 5-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

Art of Survival SMP (33 works, 34 last month, 1-fic decrease | was not canonized last year)

Dominion SMP (33 works, 32 last month, 1 fic increase | was not canonized last year.)

Shady Oaks SMP (42 works, 41 last month, 1-fic increase | 30 fics last year, 12-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 1 fic increase per month)

X Life SMP (45 works, 45 last month, 0-fic increase | 27 works last year, 18-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 1.5 fics increase per month)

Mer SMP (50 works, 41 last month, 9-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

Area Unknown SMP (51 works, 50 last month, 1-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

IvoryCello's Prison Escapes (Web Series) (52 works, 52 last month, 0-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

100 Hours Hardcore SMP (53 works, 54 last month, 1-fic decrease | was not canonized last year)

Bear SMP (55 works, 54 last month, 1-fic increase | 33 last year, 21-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 1.75 fic increase per month)

New Life SMP (70 works, was not canonized last month | was not canonized last year)

SadSMP (70 works, 70 last month, 0-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

Magic Animal Club (89 works, 87 last month, 2-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

Tortillaland SMP (103 works, 100 last month, 3-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

Slimecicle Cinematic Universe (Web Series) (111 works, 100 last month, 11-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

House Builder Gang SMP | HBG SMP (129 works, 124 last month, 5-fic increase | 94 last year, 35-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 2.92 fic increase per month)

WitchCraft SMP (157 works, 151 last month, 6-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

Rats SMP (202 works, 198 last month, 4-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

SMPEarth (252 works, 238 last month, 14-fic increase | 144 last year, 108-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 9-fic increase per month)

SMPLive (274 works, 268 last month, 6-fic increase, | 236 last year, 38-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 3.17-fic increase per month)

Outsiders SMP (277 works, 263 last month, 14-fic increase | 85 last year, 192-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 16-fic increase per month)

Mianite (Web Series) (357 works, 354 last month, 3-fic increase | tag was not canonized last year)

Yandere High School (Web Series) (370 works, 355 last month, 15-fic increase | was not canonized last year)

Afterlife SMP (371 works, 367 last month, 5-fic increase | 250 last year, 121 fics over a year, which is an average of 10.08-fics per month)

Evolution SMP (492 works, 461 last month, 31-fic increase | 157 last year, 335-fics over a year, which is an average of 27.92-fics per month)

MindCrack RPF (493 works, 493 last month, 0-fic increase | was not tracking that tag last year)

Fable SMP (694 works, 661 last month, 33-fic increase | 194 last year, 500-fic increase, which is an average of 41.66 fic increase per month)

Karmaland SMP (729 works, 706 last month, 23-fic increase | tag was not canonized last year)

Lifesteal SMP (1,021 works, 963 last month, 58-fic increase | 108 last year, 913-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 76.08 fic increase per month)

Origins SMP (1,416 works, 1,378 last month, 38-fic increase | 816 last year, 600-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 50-fic increase per month)

QSMP | Quackity SMP (2,256 works, 1,628 last month, 628-fic increase | tag was not canonized last year)

Empires SMP (5,235 works, 5,017 last month, 218-fic increase | 1,681 last year, 3,554-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 296.16 fic increase per month)

3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series (7,127 works, 6,763 last month, 364-fic increase | 2,822 last year, 4,305-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 358.75 fic increase per month)

Hermitcraft SMP (16,348 works, 15,847 last month, 501-fic increase | 9,228 last year, 7,120-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 593.34 fic increase per month)

Dream SMP (78,022 works, 76,646 last month, 1,376-fic increase | 48,670 last year, 29,352-fic increase over a year, which is an average of 2,446 fic increase per month)

Minecraft (Video Game) (107,041 works, 106,506 last month, 535-fic increase | was not tracking tag last month) Video Blogging RPF (255,567 works, 252,019 last month, 3,548-fic increase)

[callmearcturus]

redoing this ask because fuck that poll lmaoooo i have a persona question, IMO persona's romance system can sometimes fail when its clear the devs wanted one character to be the "canon" love interest for the overall story, but added in side romances to please fans (p2 with [spoiler redacted], p3 with aigis, and p4 with rise based on how much time is focused on their dynamic and bond) but i feel like P5 *intended* for Makoto to be the go-to romance option (especially with how she was handled in the anime) but Royal switched it to Akechi. Do you think that Persona should just stick with one romance option, have a small number of options that they develop, or have it be "every npc is an option" type deal. personally i think it depends on the game? but i feel as if P5 would have benefited from only having 5 romance options (Haru, Makoto, Akechi, Hifumi, and maybe Yusuke?)

Hmmmmm.

It's hard to consider this without also thinking about the other dating sim RPGs, i.e. Bioware. What's interesting there is that some of the romances felt intended (Liara in Mass Effect especially) but there were multiple really good options.

What I find interesting is how Persona and Bioware games handle the shared authorship of the characters. There's an entire Game Maker's Toolkit video about how the narrative designers had to design on a tightrope, keeping the cinematic nature of the story rolling but also making the player feel like they had a handle on the direction (even when the latter was mostly imagined).

Okay, here's two weird thoughts:

The wide array of Persona romances are pretty shallow and would benefit from a shift to much fewer romances that are far more fleshed out.

Akechi is so shocking and compelling because the comparative shallowness of the other romances, because he is a subversion of them.

To me, what makes Akechi the far-and-away best 'romance' of Persona 5 Royal is that he's not a romance 'option.' The player has very little agency over how Joker feels about Akechi. If you hit a couple of flags, then Joker is fucked up and in love with Akechi. That's just it. Maruki gives everyone what they want, and what Joker wants is Akechi.

The fact that Joker is a partially player-directed character that autonomously decides to be in love with Akechi is the secret sauce, imo. Ergo, if you improve the romances overall, you lose some of the specialness inherent in Akechi.

I had a LOT of problems with P5R's writing and especially its structure. I would remove Makoto entirely but for pacing issues, not for the strength of her writing. I'd cut a lot of cruft from the game.

I don't know if I would take away the gutpunch of Akechi though. Not for P5R. For other Persona games, 100% yes, I would. Narrow the scope of romances, maybe even stick just to party members so its easier to build a coherent, meaningful narrative with the love interest.

i hope some of that makes sense, i'm a bit sick and meandering today

[blazehedgehog]

My discord got me thinking about how Naughty Dog tried to do a Jak 4 and they were so obsessed with cinematic realism that they went "nope, this is too creepy" and backed off because they literally refused to do it any other way

Thinking of when Double Fine was still doing the Devs Play video series, and they had someone from Naughty Dog on there, and even though I don't think he worked at the company anymore, he still was so very clearly "cinematic realism" poisoned. Even when talking about Naughty Dog's Crash Bandicoot games, he was going on about how they were always trying to apply Hollywood techniques and make the games more cinematic.

And thinking about how much of the game industry is bleeding itself dry trying to replicate things we already have in real life. Across two generations of hardware, Naughty Dog has released two new games and eight ports or remakes. Some of which are double dips. When you think about Insomniac's woes over struggling to break even with Spider-man, one gets the impression from all these ports and remakes that Naughty Dog isn't doing much better.

Do you know how much money Lethal Company made? It has 260,000 reviews on Steam, and you can probably charitably double, triple, or even quadruple that number to get within the ballpark of what it actually sold. We'll reign it in a little and estimate it sold 600,000 units. That's $6,000,000 of what is very likely pure profit. People have retired on less. This kid isn't even 25 years old.

Meanwhile, for Spider-man 2, Insomniac had to sell 7,000,000 units just to start turning a profit. Spider-man 2 put them nearly FIVE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS ($500,000,000) in the hole. For a game, by their own admission, people may not even be able to tell is any better visually than Spider-man 1. They talk about smaller side games like Miles Morales as a cheap way to reuse assets and buffer the astronomical financial drain these games are. They've got to make up ground somewhere.

There's rumors Naughty Dog's next game might be a remake of Uncharted 1. The well's going to run dry eventually. Then what happens to Naughty Dog when they're writing a one-billion dollar check for the next evolution in cinematic realism that is impossible for anyone to be able to cash? When does this all break down? Soon, right?

It sure feels like it's going to be soon. This is such a boring waste of money.

[mystreet-liveblog]

Earlier today I thought to myself how Season 1 feels the most iconic despite being the least developed season (from a production and continuity standpoint)

Now I’m trying to think about why. I don’t think the reason has anything to do with the plot or characters or humor, but rather the formatting

Season 1 was a Minecraft Roleplay. Sure it had a few cinematic scenes, but at its core it was a bunch of characters existing and interacting in Minecraft. It was mostly first-person perspective with in-game dialogue read out loud by Aphmau, and it had that nostalgic feeling of playing Minecraft with your friends

None of the other seasons capture that same feeling (so far on my binge anyway). The first-person perspective is still in some bits of PDH S1 and Love~Love Paradise, but they don’t have that same Minecraft-specific vibe to them

The best example I have of what I mean is in S1 when Aphmau is unpacking her boxes and putting up her posters. She is building in Minecraft! You don’t see that past Season 1, where characters take out blocks and place them, because the story slowly starts not-being based in Minecraft

Of course, the switch to cinematic storytelling is by no means a bad thing. I’m just pointing out that the reason Season 1 feels so different is because it’s far more Minecrafty than others. The show slowly stops being a Minecraft Roleplay and starts becoming a “roleplay in Minecraft” during its run

And I think this is also why Season 3 feels sort of disconnected from the rest of the show (I know it’s where a lot of OG fans stopped watching back in the day, myself included). Season 3 is entirely cinematic, with most of the Minecraft aspects gone beyond the medium itself. Even the cats are changed from Minecraft cats to Neko Atsume cats

For the first two seasons, MyStreet was still a Minecraft Roleplay, but the third season made a big leap into TV-show territory. It sort of feels like it came out of nowhere, too, despite previous seasons having fully-cinematic episodes of their own. I can’t quite figure out why it felt so different because of this. Cinematics weren’t new, but perhaps since they often came alongside pov scenes they fit in better

And that makes Season 4 a very interesting case. I haven’t started Season 4 on my binge yet, but something I distinctly remember about it is that it brought back the first-person perspective shots (though I believe from Aaron’s pov this time, establishing him as a season protagonist). I think this is a great idea because it returns those initial S1 vibes I was referring to

Then, as the season gets more plot heavy, the pov gets replaced by more and more cinematics, until the paradigm shift fully establishes MyStreet as a TV-show once again. I think this is what Season 3 needed: a reason to become more TV-like

Season 4 is an MCRP until suddenly it isn’t, and its advancing story becomes deserving of cinematics. Season 3 didn’t entirely earn this shift. MyStreet has always been TV-like but it wasn’t a proper show until Season 4. Or, more accurately, it became a show in S3, then reverted back for a proper transition in S4

I still like S3 and its cinematics, but I also admit that it could’ve benefitted from taking itself a little less seriously at certain times. The pov shots are comedic because they remind the audience “oh yeah, this is a video game!” I don’t think S3 did anything wrong, but just by simply being different it created a different vibe to the whole thing

Anyway, I’m looking forward to starting S4 soon, and seeing if this post holds up by the end of it

[edgy-ella]

Overall I liked the Sonic 3 trailer, but there’s a couple things about it that have left me pondering over the nature of video game adaptations as a whole.

As I said in my initial post, the one thing that really stuck out to me about the trailer was Sonic being seemingly commissioned by GUN to find and detain Shadow rather than the plotline we all know from SA2 where Sonic is wrongfully accused for Shadow’s crimes (some fans interpret this as a deliberate coverup on GUN’s end while others see it as a genuine mistake). That makes up a huge part of SA2’s plot and a majority of its most iconic levels. City Escape, Metal Harbor, and Green Forest simply don’t happen without Sonic being persecuted and arrested by GUN first. Given the way Eggman and Gerald appear in the trailer, I think it’s safe to say that the similarly iconic scenes of Eggman blowing up the moon with the Eclipse Cannon and Gerald’s video diary where he vows to wipe out humanity with a colony drop won’t show up, either.

It’s got me thinking: why aren’t most video game film adaptations treated the same way that book adaptations are?

Most of the time when people adapt a famous book into a movie, the book’s core narrative is left intact for the film. They may cut some scenes for time, but overall, it’s the same story with the same major plot beats.

This is not always the case for many video game movies, especially the Sonic movies. The first movie had basically nothing to do with the series—you could copy paste any furry into Sonic’s shoes and the only thing that would change are a few action setpieces. Sonic 2 is way, way better, but it still mostly pulls random bits and pieces of Sonic iconography then stitches them together to form a narrative. Big parts of the original Sonic 3 & Knuckles story are cut out, most notably Angel Island. And like, for those movies, I think that’s fine. There’s not exactly a lot to pull from in the Genesis games they took inspiration from, so I don’t mind them mixing things up a bit.

But why continue to take that approach for Sonic 3 when Sonic Adventure 2, the one game they’re undoubtedly taking the most inspiration from, already has a perfectly fine story to adapt?

I still think that SA2 has the best story of any Sonic game, partially because the lack of a hub world gives the whole thing very cinematic pacing. Honestly, you could cut or abridge some of the emerald hunting stuff and turn in SA2’s story as is for a movie and it’d work. All it would really need would be some minor adjustments to make it a little less janky. I’m definitely not the only one who thinks that, too. SA2 is a golden cow among Sonic fans, as well as one of the rare 3D Sonic games that a lot of non-Sonic fans will praise. People like this game and they like the story. Why isn’t it being adapted properly?

In a weird way, I’m reminded of Netflix Death Note or those Resident Evil movies from the 2000s that just did whatever they wanted for years on end. Adaptations that pulled from its source material every once in a while, but mostly do their own thing. And that bugs me! SA2 has such a strong story, it sucks to see them tamper with it.

I can already see some of you saying “It’s an adaptation! They’re allowed to make changes!” It’s the style of adaptation that bothers me. It’s the difference between Fullmetal Alchemist 2003 and Brotherhood. I wanted the SA2 movie to be treated more like Brotherhood, not the rewritten 2003 adaptation.

[mrsmarlasinger]

The surreal thing about the Titan submersible: unless someone pulls off a miraculous last-minute rescue, when we all wake up tomorrow, those five men will be dead.

I mean, assuming they haven't already hyperventilated the last of their oxygen or imploded in a hull failure event.

It's currently June 22nd, 1:48 AM, MDT. If they're still alive, they will not be within the next...what, three hours? Give or take. And it would take hours to get the sub to the surface if it were found miles underwater, so if it's at the bottom of the sea, that really gives the rescuers...I don't know, like, maybe an hour to pull off the impossible?

These men are about to cross the event horizon.

When the banging sounds were first reported, it blew my fucking mind. I'd been certain that they were dead already, or that if they weren't, they would be soon. Without question. Then came this bizarre, impossible glimmer of hope. And I thought, if those sounds really were occurring at thirty-minute intervals, if it really was the Titan passengers, then maybe—maybe—they had a chance.

But they just...don't. Let's be realistic: they're about to die. We know this. We know for a fact that their time is about to run out.

And I know people are angry about the Missing White Woman Syndrome feel of it all. It would make for such on-the-nose satire. Five wealthy men have the world on pins and needles; where was that energy when hundreds of refugees drowned off the coast of Greece a week ago?

It frustrates me that I'm so invested in the Titan sub. It's like the entire incident was orchestrated for the sole purpose of grabbing attention (of course I don't believe that's the case). The very premise of the sub is tauntingly ridiculous—so very blatantly an expensive suicide. I saw someone compare it to an Onion article, and it IS.

The shitty video game controller, the ominous waiver, Stockton Rush's portentous comments (hell, even his name), the toilet sat right in front of that tiny dollhouse window. The absurd price tag paired with a history of failed dives and an OceanGate employee fired and sued years ago for raising safety concerns.

God, it's so dumb. It's so so fucking dumb. In real life, what we'd call "foreshadowing" is really just actions→consequences. But still. Still. It reads like sitcom writers setting the dominos for a season finale, tirelessly working to maximize memeability so we can all point and laugh with our popcorn.

The sheer pointless, brainless, wasteful extravagance of it all makes it easy to forget how horrific and tragic the ordeal really is. It grants us some strange permission to rubberneck.

And, well, who wouldn't want to rubberneck? The drama. Horror movie levels of repulsion. Any fear you can imagine—the dark, the cold, the ocean, suffocation, confined spaces, death—all wrapped into one perfect, cinematic nightmare. It's a black comedy: dumbassery punished by a fate we don't, shouldn't, wish even on billionaires.

Then, of course, there is the deadline. Pun not intended.

That, I think, is what's really gripped us. The limited oxygen supply is a countdown, a ticking time bomb. Ten minutes left in the movie—can the protagonist pull off a daring escape in time?

God, I know I sound like one of those crisis actor conspiracy theorists, but you couldn't manufacture a more gripping story if you tried. That hard figure we've seen in every news article: 96 hours. Ninety-six hours to save the day.

Can you see the Netflix docudrama now? The cuts to a black screen with the remaining number of hours emblazoned in the center? "If we don't find that sub tonight, those men are dead," some intrepid rescuer says...a split second of grave silence...then the scene goes black, except for a line of heavyweight white text that reads, in all caps, "SIX HOURS REMAINING." Next we'll see a heart-wrenchingly candid conversation between the passengers, for character development.

You know Channel 5 is airing a documentary about the Titan in the UK tomorrow. Tonight, actually, since I guess it's technically Thursday morning. The countdown was so hard-set, ITN calculated the exact hour at which they could broadcast their production. The perfect moment for them to capitalize on that post-curtains melancholy we all get at the end of a movie.

It's crass, but fascinating, too. Is ITN going to acknowledge their production timeline by leaving the documentary's ending ambiguous, a choice which will ring bittersweet when aired in the aftermath of the inevitable deaths? Will they scramble to concoct an ending in those mere hours after the passengers asphyxiate? Have they already made two endings: one in case of a miracle, and one in case of a tragedy? Any answer is soulless.

But all of this is soulless. The Titan is our gladiator fight, our bread and circuses. Still, I can't stop staring, because I cannot wrap my head around it. It's 3:30 AM now. Within hours, they will be dead, sure as an execution.

Few news stories come with such a grim deadline. Almost always it's a nail-biting rescue whose twists and turns we follow until some hitherto-unpredictable endpoint; or a sprawling clusterfuck of tragedy trailed by aftermath upon aftermath; or a search for a missing person that eventually meanders into a quiet presumption of death.

The certainty blows my mind—the finality of it, the tragedy of it, is incomprehensible. It doesn't feel real. Why do I care so much? Those men were dead from the start (if not literally, then certainly figuratively). Why do I keep reading about it, posting about it? Why can't I stop watching the car wreck smolder? What am I doing still standing in the street?

I hate that I fell prey to the submarine story like everyone else with an internet connection. But whatever deity may or may not exist got bored, I guess, and crafted the dramedy-action-horror hybrid of the year. Even wove in little cliffhangers (the banging! On the sonobuoys! There's still time!) to string us along like a damn HBO producer.

It gets me, man.

It's 4:00 AM, MDT. I guess it's really over, huh? I know 96 hours was never an exact deadline, but let's not be idealistic here.

I hope it was quick. I hope they imploded in a single terrible instant.

I hope the next sunken boat of six hundred refugees wins as much attention as the Titan did.

I hope Netflix doesn't make that docudrama with the black screen and the all-caps line of heavyweight white text.

I hope we sleep. I hope I sleep. I hope we all can sleep.