#is it good? I do not know. I actually really want to cuz I need to be able to better identify plants.
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Before I Leave You (Pt.77)
(sneek peek) (Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: Tae and Hobi help Yoongi during your first wave of heat.
Tags: heat sex, breeding kink, pregnancy kink, fertility kink, Dom! Yoongi, foursome, fluffy, no hurt just comfort, alot of smut but it's also very loving, coming prematurely, breeding kink, cum play, sleepy sex, mommy kink, talking her through it, dirty talk, exhibitionism voeyeurisim, teasing, flirting, biting,
W/c: 11.3k
A/n: thank you guys for being so tolerant of my brief absense, i didn't intend to take so long to update this but unfortunately sometimes living through historical events can be really tough to get through.
Previous part- Masterlist - First part
You laugh until you hiss, curling to the side just a little, a wave racking through you. Burning and stinging from your stomach outwards.
Yoongi stills, one hand on your knee the other pressed to your stomach flat, eyes wide. Tae lets your wrists go so you can clutch at your stomach. Holding your face through it. "oh my little honey, don't worry, we'll make it better, shh just-" She's a little more panicky than the rest of them are. Hobi's hand is just hard on your shoulder, knuckles white, expression stricken but unsure.
Yoongi holds your stomach too. Alarmed by your trembling. "Are you- do you need-“ a knot, hovers on the edge of his tongue.
But you just blink. “Yoongi- it's too much- it burns- Sore- so sore here” You touch your stomach gently, but it's so sensitive it still makes you hiss.
but after a moment you relax, stretching back out in the nest. breathing heavy until you aren't until the cramping, the aching need want filled need to be filled in your head quiets.
Yoongi's fingers swirl on your stomach, gently. it's sensitive, but it actually does make you feel better. “You ran, do you want us to wait for Namjoon or-" You’re already shaking your head no when Yoongi cuts off. settling back against the nest, letting your legs flop open so that he can shuffle forward closer.
You don't wonder why Yoongi mentions Namjoon. He's the pack alpha, and the right to breed you first in heat is his as dictated by old laws and rules and all manner or propriety.
But Namjoon is not your mate and he's not like that. He cares about your wants first. His own ego is very far down on his list of priorities (probably ranks just after Noodle's wellbeing in terms of Namjoon's pack alpha priorities. Dominance is its own kind of submission)
And, judging by Jin's snarling from the other room- he'll be preoccupied for at least the next hour. You don't know if you can wait that long. A whine drips out of you, a sound small and weak.
Hobi shuffles closer to you. Bare-chested, his red shorts looking tight. Looking unsure. "You did run, do you not want-" us, does not come out.
You shift, futile trying to get comfortable, it's impossible with the weight of your instincts pinning you down. “Nah, just ran cuz it’s fun. Not cuz I didn’t want you to fuck me.”
Yoongi huffs, his anxiety dissipating, fond with it, fingers itching up your thighs, parting them just a little so that he can shuffle forward closer to you. Until you can feel the heat from his tummy against yours.
You can feel so much. Your whole body one big nerve ending. You can feel the slight fluff and softness of the peach fuzz on his tummy dragging against yours as he gets closer. The feel of his slender but strong fingers circling your ankles. All of it.
You like this, you always like it when Yoongi's close.
“Glad we cleared that up, it’s not like I can’t literally see you slicking up but-“ you laugh and try and swat at him. He drops one of your ankles to catch your hand and tangles it with his for good measure.
A small smile hovers on the edge of his lips. He searches your face, smiling at what he sees- your dopey smile and endeared indignation. The heat might be new, but this is so familiar his heart aches with it.
“If you’re gonna tease me while I’m in heat can you at least make it good?” Your breath goes heavy. Warm and sweet, fluffing over him. Everything; the sweetness to your scent, the ruddiness of your knees and stomach, the messy fluff of your hair over the pastel pillow, the relaxed sprawl of your body, a siren song for Yoongi.
Above you- Tae and Hobi stay quiet. Just watching, Tae drags a lock of your hair away from your face. Patient while you and yoongi flirt. “I thought you liked my teasing.”
Your tone sounds petulant even to you, “I do just not-”
Yoongi presses your knees apart, up towards your chest putting you on display and bare. abrumptly cutting off your words as you let out a broken moan. He puts a bit more force behind it than usual, But you feel yourself clench and his gaze flickers down.
The smile on his face widens just a bit, and you hiccup through the shudder that rocks through you. Your body burns, your stomach churns, your skin simmers where he touches craving for more more more.
A breeding press. That's what Yoongi's just put you into. knees to your chest, your sensitive heat slit ripe and wet between your thighs, ready for the taking. a breeding press infront of two alpha's, infront of Tae and Hobi, watching with wide dark eyes.
“Hold her.” Yoongi’s command is not snapped or growled out but Hobi and Tae follow suit regardless. Hobi fumbles, grabbing one wrist and Tae grabs the other.
Boneless. Ready for breeding. Settled. It’s a bit of a strange show of dominance. But inside, Yoongi isn’t surprised that you needed it. to be held down and puppeted and propped. To know that they’re in control before you let your alpha's breed you.
He says your alphas- but he's the only one you're looking at. The only one you're whining for.
It’s hard to articulate your hands or your mind, tongue wrapped around a sound that can only be an endless whimper. Tae leans low when you try to squirm again. Her teeth nip at your ear, a shock to your system that makes you leak a fresh gush of slick half onto Yoongi's lap.
You have to be spilling and dripping by now. You try and press your legs back together and hide but Yoongi keeps you spread.
“No pup, settle.”
Coming Saturday November 23rd at 5pm EST (Time Zone Adjustments Below)
#bts mafia au#bts omegaverse au#bts x reader#bts poly au#bts werewolf fic#bts fluff#bts angst#bts hurt/comfort#min yoongi fic#min yoongi x reader#yoongi x reader#min yoongi#omega! reader#bts a/b/o au#bts polyamory au#bts fanfic#bts#bts fic#park jimin x reader#jimin x reader#park jimin#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#jeon jungkook x reader
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who in skz would mtl marry someone due to getting them pregnant by acting recklessly or on implusive behaviours without using protection or if they were drunk per se?
Skz MTL to marry someone cuz of accidental pregnancy
So as with most men when faced with a difficult question or decision they evaded the question and situation and put the burden of that on the woman💀 im not very satisfied with the kind of "answers" i got but im gonna do my best. Just gonna say that they have no idea how they would go about it and they would feel terrible - like overall thats the predominant energy. But imma go into details now.
Chan
He really, really doesn't want to. And im either getting the vibe that he would like the kid to be aborted (if the moms also on board), cuz he won't be there to provide any support and he doesn't want the responsibility of it. Or on the other hand im getting an energy where he's gonna just suck it up and bear the consequences of his reckless actions, no matter the price. Idk which ones the more prevelent one tho, so may be his inner wish vs what he actually does.
Lee Know
Would think lots and lots abot the whole situation including if he wants to keep the baby or not. Either way, if the mom decides to keep it he'll provide financial security for sure! Im not really seeing anything about being a father or marriage - but he wants to act correctly in the matter as much as possible so im not really sure here either im not getting any answers on the marriage thing but im definitely getting confirmation on him being at least financially supportive whit whatever the woman and the child may need and im actually getting a friendship relationship at least. So even if they don't get married he will be a present figure every once in a while in his child's life.
Changbin
He would be ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED!!!!! But he will marry here. I was actually a bit unsure while drawing the cards but now that im immersing myself in this energy i think in his head there's no other way about this. How can he fail his duties as a man and impregnate a woman he had no intentions on marrying or impregnating and then leaving her on her own?! With HIS child?!?! Tarnishing her honor?!?!!? Being an embarrassment and failure to his family? Bringing shame upon them?!?!! He could NEVER do that. And thats why he's so devastated because he feels like such a failure for being so reckless and doing such a fatal, life changing mistake. And the worst of all - he wants to marry for love. But probably he wouldn't. Because if he loves the woman he's sleeping with, this child wouldn't be accidental in the way that its unwanted. No matter what he would embrace it with all his being. But if the pregnancy causes anxiety in him, then its not the woman for him, and now he's forced to marry a woman he doesn't love, while the love of his life is somewhere out there looking for him, waiting. And he feels like he's disappointing her even too, because he can't go out and find her, as he has to stay home with his wife and raise a child that was unwanted, that's not HIS (destined) child.
(I swear that guys into some spiritual shit) (Also i feel like exagerates the hefthiness of the situation i think, but thats another thing i notice in a lot of men where they just make such a big deal of things and make it all so complicated ugh...drama queens)
Hyunjin
My guy would welcome it with open arms. Not seeing specifically marriage, but i think he would be pretty excited about being a dad and i can see him being easily persuaded into marriage for the greater good of the child. Arrangements can be made along the way. The energy's very easy-going and uncomplicated which actually surprises me a bit but out of all i think he has the best energy about this.
Han
Short and sweet: he doesn't have to worry about that (que a smug smile)
(Do with that what you want)
Felix
I don't think he would marry. He wants his autonomy, his freedom. He will provide support tho, and he's ready to work something out that works for both (all) parties. Im seeing him also being fully ready to be a father figure if needed, being of constant help in many different ways. But i don't think he'll tie himself down like that.
Seungmin
No
I.N
This one's the most difficult to read i dont even know what i should right on here cuz its all so muffled. For your information he has The Moon card and the energy here's so gloomy and sticky and damp and muffled. I think if he gets faced with the news he would go into a minor depression for a while, all kinds of voiced ing at him, not being able to find the right path, i think he would be a mess and not know ANYTHING. He wont know how he feels about the baby, if he wants to keep it or not, if he likes the girl, if he wants to marry, if he wants to marry HER, about his parents, about her parents, he will just have one big hole in his mind but at the same time thousand of different voices and thoughts all around him suffocating him so in short - i think he'll be in a state where he's completely incapable of doing whatever it was and more or less leave the girl be completely on her own, which lead me to believe that eventually he'll abandon her and not marry her cuz the energy gives me similar vibes. Being in a frozen state not giving a definitive no but not a yes either, not giving anything - equals abandonment in my opinion. If you're not gonna be there mentally anyways then whats the use?
As in lots of my readings i feel like the maknea line wasn't very vocal and didn't have much to say about this but the older once had plenty to say apparently😂 maybe thats a genuine fear they've had flow in their head every once in a while😂
Most
1.Hyunjin / Changbin
2.Lee Know
3.Chan
4.Felix
5.I.N
6.Seungmin
Least
Hans outside of the table cuz my guy doesn't habe to worry about that apparently🙌🏻
#skz#stray kids#tarot reading#kpop#asks#seo changbin#bang chan#lee felix#lee know#hyunjin#han jisung#seungmin#i.n#skz tarot#stray kids tarot#kpop tarot
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Hi Sun, hi Moon! :D How do you guys attend to the children? I know Sun had that Killcode, I imagine since it's a complicated code to derive from your normal programmed coding, it took a while to separate? I'd assume if it was like, super progressed, most likely it'd have taken.. at least a few weeks or maybe a month/more? :P
Also can I hug you guys :3
Sun: Oh!! Our first ask!! How exciting!
Sun: Okay, okay, I practiced this, okay, *inhales*
Sun: Here in the Superstar Daycare, we offer a safe and clean space for the children to play in! We provide toys and activities, such as arts and crafts, games, read-aloud times for books both entertaining and educational, movies and television shows, healthy meals for lunch and tasty treats for snacktime, and plenty of indoor playgrounds for the children to run out their energy! We have castles, the many tunnels of our play places, slides, and the ballpit of course!
Sun: I supervise the children at all times and ensure they’re always playing safely and having fun! I lead during activities, and help ensure all of our little superstars have something to do and are comfortable! I’m equipped to care for children with special needs, or various allergies or conditions! In the event of an injury, I’m programmed with first aid training.
Sun: And after hours, I clean the daycare and keep it washed, sanitized, and spotless!
Sun: And MOON–!
Moon: …
Sun: …
Moon: …
Sun: …
Sun: –Isn't here a lot of the time.
Moon: Nope!
Moon: I just supervise naptime. (I think you mean I supervise naptime most of the time.) I make the kids lay down and sleep. (I usually end up doing that cuz he doesn’t show up for WORK very often–!) If they don’t wanna, moondrop candies work WONDERS. (At least that’s one of the NICER ways you deal with the kids.)
Moon: I dunno what you want from me, I’m not good with kids.
Sun: Says the guy I’ve caught reading bedtime stories and singing to the kids.
Moon: *AHEM* They also want to know about the killcode and how we separated.
Sun: Oh… they do? I don't, I don't, uh…
Moon: I can take this part.
Sun: Yeah… please…
Sun: …You're better at the sciency stuff anyways!
Moon: Alright, about that.
Moon: The only thing I will say about Sun's Killcode is that IT wasn't the issue when it came to separating.
Moon: What sucked about separating was that Sun and I were built in such a way that everything we were was intertwined. Our minds, our codes, all of it was built to rely on both halves being there. The body itself was designed to have two separate AIs, and it was a HUGE RISK for the body to only have one AI after one of us left. (In their infinite wisdom, whoever made us designed us that way intentionally. The dick.)
Moon: Sun and I were so entangled that separating was a massive risk to us; if we weren't extremely careful, our minds could be damaged when being pulled apart from each other. So that was one thing, making sure we could unwind our codes without breaking either of us.
Moon: The Killcode wasn't a big deal when it came to this; that thing was just one bit of code among a million others.
Moon: Then I had to find a way to make sure Sun's body could survive only having the one AI instead of two, and THAT was a whole thing...
Moon: I started researching this as soon as Sun and I stopped fighting You really wanna know how long it took? It took over a YEAR! A year of research trying to figure this out, only a few hours each day, in the short periods of time when I was able to move when the lights were out. Once the lights came back on and Sun was back out, I couldn't DO anything.
Moon: It was HELL.
Moon: ...
Moon: But, as for when we finally had everything ready, the actual procedure itself only took about a day…
Moon: We were sitting around, hooked up to the computer down in parts and services, and the computer combed through our heads to make sure everything was in the right place.
Moon: (At least, that's what it was SUPPOSED to do... Except now we find out it might have made an error and given me too much of Sun's code... his killcode...)
Sun: (Um...)
Moon: As for the Killcode, all you need to know is it's gone now. Sun doesn't have it anymore.
Moon: That was a fair question to ask though.
Sun: *AHEM!* Okay, okay, that’s all they need to hear about THAT! Moving on!!
Sun: …
Sun: Oh yeah there's one more part to the question!
Sun: They wanna know if they can get a hug!
Moon: Oh do they.
Sun: If you want to, sure! I give the kids hugs all the time, so why not!
Moon: No you may not. Don't touch me.
#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#Tsams killswap AU#TSAMS Moon#TSAMS Sun#TSAMS AU#TSAMS Killswap storyline#Answered Ask#long post
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hey i feel like we're really sleeping on that time Danny possessed Vlad & framed him for assaulting a minor
Editing with the clip because people don't believe me. Episode is 41: Eye for an Eye.
#Danny Phantom#i think this ties into my other post i made a long time ago about Danny siccing the GIW on Vlad#like we KNOW in CANON that if Danny was even a tiny bit more like Vlad he would literally become a supervillain#villain is such a stupid word i hate how it's spelled. why is it like that#anyways i need to like. rewatch DP cuz i remember shit & then i'm like#did that actually happen. because that sounds too insane#but like. he Did That. didnt he#i think that's what i love about this character. but a lot of people ignore it#Danny is like. gritting his teeth going ''do good do good'' it isnt effortless it isnt easy he doesnt even want to do it half the time#& sometimes yeah he WILL do crimes or get back at people who've been assholes to him or whatever#he WILL use his powers for bad sometimes#he'll be like ''dont do that it's bad'' but like. he WILL do it himself#the whole ''i'm a hero'' thing he's got going on is like. more of a. how do i put this#it's like when you're drawing or writing & saying ''it doesnt have to be perfect it just has to BE''#like Danny isn't a hero sometimes. he's got morals & has a general understanding of good & bad#but also he's 14 & being attacked every day#i would start saying bad words & threatening people that annoy me too man#okay i glanced over the scene again for the first time in years & Danny was literally in the middle of outing Vlad to the whole town???#hello?? are we really ignoring this?????#VLAD TORNADO VLAD TORNADO VLAD TORNADO#this show is so stupid i love it#love how Sam & Tucker immediately backed him up yeah fuck Vlad all my homies hate Vlad#okay you know what. maybe i will do a DP liveblog. i think it would be fun#on daddyplasmius. only posting this on pa-pa-plasma cuz it's kind of just a. weird rant post? kind of? idk
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IM SO FULL OF FEELINGS AND I WANT TO EXPLODE
#hii everyone. i had one of those really good dreams again and now i want to do something drastic.#i need to stop missing ppl so much it’s insane. it’s NOT good for me#but alas.#i’m not actually being torn apart cuz i know it’s gonna pass in a lil bit. it’s just cuz i juuuust woke up#and things ARE going pretty good despite everything. but i’m just a bit scared#i should go eat something#arambles
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Okay but for real, please download Merlin, the Cornell-based bird-logging app. It is so great. It will tell you about birds in your area. It will make you so insufferable on hikes and outings. It doesn't have any comments section so if this site gets nuked do NOT try to find me there but know that that's where I'm hanging. Having a great time birdwatching. Logging the bluejay that bullies my cats. Helping researchers track where birds are for climate change-related population monitoring. 10/10, highly recommend getting a life and doing some silly birdwatching.
#I forget who here recced me the bird app cuz it's PHENOMENAL so I'm sorry I am blanking#also if anyone has recs for apps for tracking flora pls lemme know cuz I am on the hunt#if you have had a good experience with inaturalist I wanna hear about it cuz it felt too social media-y for me#is it good? I do not know. I actually really want to cuz I need to be able to better identify plants.#it would be so funny if I just didn't open my inbox and instead made a post about birdwatching for every ask I get this weekend lmfao#I really think it's what the dash deserves#I'll tell you about arizona birds! it'll be great#I also have seen some GREAT juniper trees and stars today. yes STARS.#literally if you haven't done it lately go find somewhere dark and see the stars. v important.#anyway junipers are making berries rn! they're delightful!
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shoutout to the p4 party rebalance mod giving naoto basically every element's ultimate skill.
she deserves it-
#rambearling#persona 4#p4#totally gonna use that mod my next playthrough. i need to be able to actually use yosuke the whole game#i wanted to but my friend told me he sucks and to use kanji instead 😒 /lh /silly#which. tbf probably for the best i didn't have good elec coverage on yu for like 90% of the game-#i still don't have good wind coverage though and i'm at the final dungeon. i just have like. magaru on izanagi. and garudyne on naoto#i might still have a mothman with something idr-#will probably wait until it gets updated to have a working full izanagi moveset though i have used him the whole game this playthrough#but he uh. kinda fucking sucks-#my moveset for him is like. zionga magaru media herculean strike. and then a bunch of stat moves i don't remembear-#thinking about it there's probably guides for this kinda thing online i was just fucking around and finding out#the closest i got to actually optimizing skills was fusing black frost for the shadow mitsuo fight gggffgffgdgdg-#black frost is my hecking mvp this playthrough i bearsically just use him and izanagi honestly#i don't know what i'm doing when it comes to fusing personas tbh. when i'm in the velvet room i kinda just make whatever looks cool#and then 90% of the time i don't use it cuz i have izanagi and black frost hhggfhfvfd-#basically the only thing those two can't do is light. and almighty but that's beary situational. naoto covers both of those-#and then teddie heals and has multitarget ice skills and kanji has actually good elec skills + more phys skills 👍#i'm good at this game i swear i know it really doesn't sound like it from these tags-#i beat kusumi-no-okami my first try and my friend says that fight's hard soooooo. yea 😎
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gonna keep it shmoovin man
#just me hi#i have a piece i was working on last night that i realized after i didn't have my computer could actually be Much more accurate to my ideaa#but that means i gotta scrap some stuff. sigh ᴗ.ᴗ#also i couldn't get around to readin my thing yesterday cuz my focus was shot for some reason lmao <//3#i would open the thing and then just start. driiiifting away kfshvg#//anyway idk what happened but why have i started to miss Gs at the end of my words Lmfhvaf#i already do that in real life we don't needa do that here too kfshvh#'asz wu' 'm sayin man !!' <- my engrish :3#i do like it though i think it's fun :> but my typingggg not you too kfsvhg#//anywho i've got a $1.75 thing i'm workin on :D#it's gonna hopefully be the third part to those last two i did for that thing#which goes adoration -> devotion -> guess hfh :3#i'm normal abt these guys. [places them in a lunchbox and throws it into the river to watch the bubbles] yea :)#//anyway Wednesday#not the best of the week days i will not lie#like you're stuck between the beginning and the end and it's just got that undecided feeling to it ykno what i mean pfshv#//also LMAO i've been calling feet/foot 'peets/poot' bc i think it's goofy and i don't like the F sound#and i got leo into saying it and he was talkin to somebody and had to explain what it was Lmfhjshfg#my infec- influence is spreading. influence. that's what i said#my woerds: peet. poot. tomach. shnoze. ham. heed. fingaa. ect ect#//ouhhh my collarbone keeps making these snappy noises when i pull my shoulders back#it's only occasional but holy shizz it's loud sometimes. like 'when we're in church i think you can hear it 4 pews back' loud khgsfjhfvjg#//ANYWAY i was mentioning wednesday earlier cuz it's not the best of days on the week (we know this) but i wanna go skating </3#'why isn't wednesday good for that' because it's the middle of the week. [gesturing]#i can't explain it but things need to happen on- Oo i like this songgggkkggg- either weekends or the other 4 days of the weekday#wednesday is for appointments you really don't want. i'm sorry but it's a filler day <//3#which means no happenings on a wednesday. it's illegal. that's right. Illegal#even thursday is iffy man. tuesday? tuesday is your last-chance stop. perhaps i do have thoughts about silly things Kfhvsjhgsf#nobody tell leo he's tryna get me for having a weird brain. the sentence is 5000 years of i-told-you 😔 Lmaooo#//OKAY i think i'm outta tags tho lemme say ciao here loll :3 toodles tooooodles !!! <3
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i want some fluffy goats. I have contacts who own fluffy goats, and also studied their health and care. i could make my own yarn. or just... sell the mohair.
i want fluffy goat friends
... i cannot afford fluffy goat friends atm.
#i dont know how serious this desire is but i really like goats and have wanted them on and off for years#angora goats my beloved <3#theyre very cute and the mohair is actually pretty valuable if it's good quality#they aren't used commercially like cashmere goats because theyre more work and less efficient#so you have to find private/specialized breeders#GOD and i could get ones with fun colors cuz those are cheaper- no that mohair doesn't sell as well...#or i could disregard that#ugh i dont need more animals#but i want more#but i dont want more#but i do
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i dont wanna eat anything or do anything and i just wanna lay around but i also dont wanna do that and i dont wanna watch anything or read anything and idk what i wanna do
#i was supposed to have someone review my resume and i was banking on the fact that maybe talking to someone instead of being alone in my roo#would help me out but the whole appointment system maker thing was messed up so we couldnt even meet#so i literally hvae nothing better to do than wait the next few days to get back to campus#and i was soooo excited to go back to school and i still am cuz i know itll make me feel better being around people#but im just a lot less excited than i was#cuz i just really really hate the idea of having to spend another fall semester getting over someone#like i couldve probably handled spring semester. but fall semester???? when theres already enough desolateness as it is???#like i just hate hate htae the idea of being on buses and starting to cry again and its midnight at 4pm when im crying#and theres people everywhere and the wrost part is shes literally on the same campus as me!!! so now i might actually see her!!!#and i dont want to!!!#i want to be friends but right now i know if i see her again ill just start sobbing on the spot#i was so excited for thsi fall sem but now im just notttt#and i know ill be busier (hopefully) this sem so im sure ill be better off than last year#but still like. idfk i dont know what to do. i think i just need to hear someone elses voice#im supposed to talk to my friend later today so maybe thatll help#cuz im kinda ready to tell someone about it but what if she telsl me she cant call what am i suppsoed to doooo#cuz last year the person iw as getting over lived a bajillion miles from me so it was easier!!! but she and I live 5 mins from each other#AND SHES FREINDS WITH LIKE ALL MY ROOMMATES#THEYRE ALL HIGH SCHOOL FRIENDS !!!!#GODDDD.#i mean there are def upsides to this . for example its good we broke up now#cuz imagine if we broke up cuz of a fight and then thered be a big issue in the friend group#but it ended well and i dont think our friends / roommates will be 'picking sides'#as long as i just dont do anything drastic lol#adn who knows maybe our friendship will bounce back and i really hope it does!!#but she and i didnt start off as friends we kinda went into this knowing we were into each other to begin with#so like how do i be friends with her you know???#and friendship is soo important to me so its not like i dont want to be friends with her. i really really do. i just dont know how itll wor#like i value friendship over romantic relationships any day but also our relationship felt so deep to me#which is why im scared that we wont be friends even though i know we both want to be
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im having emotions abt vanitas again
#id be so sad if he doesnt show up in kh4#or SOMETHING#still manifesting sora streli vani trio in kh4#like trust me itll totally happen#tbh thats like my fantasy dream team#like that would be REALLY COOL if it happened but it likely wouldnt cuz three keyblade wielders in your party is Not It#they refuse to put a keyblade weilder in ur party in literally every game they wont do it now#unless youre playing as fucking#riku or aqua? cuz i think they usually party up with mickey when you play them?? i think thats the only instance but like obvs an outlier#gotta give the rat screentime SOMEhow#that trio probably wont happen hut im still manifesting vani showing up in quadratun#please it would be sooooo good#i literally dont know where you could take his story after kh3 tbh#im still mad abt kh3 actually like how they treated his character#although that might be a case of like the vanitas in my head not matching the vanitas in canon#idk that requjres thinking and deep introspection of how i view vanitas as a character and if that matches up with canon#which is a lot of thinking i dont want to do <3#i think my original beef was with the time travel aspect of vanitas coming back which makes like literally all his screen time null and void#in regards to how it affects himself#how his actions affect wveryone else still matters bc it still happens but the rules of time travel mean vanitas himself is still the same a#as bbs vani. but whatever#thatd be so funny if vani IS in kh4 and sora pops up like oh hey vanitas :) abd vanitas is like who the FUCK are you#please take this all with a grain if salt i havent thought abt kh3 in so long probably misremembering my vanitas lore#ANYWAYS the point i was trying to get to is that the sora/streli/vani trio is my fantasy dream team but what i really want kh4 to be like na#narratively speaking i need kh4 to be the lonliest fucking game in the world#i need sora to be by himself going thru the workds meeting new people and gaining new connections but no ones really by his side#i need sora to really marinate in being alone for the first time in like. how long has it been. like 12/13 years????#i need hin to learn to stand up for himself or something. i just need him to be lonely as fuck and that means no party members#that doesnt keep up with the numbered title game formats but its ok#michi tag
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I love it when im looking at my own post on my own Tumblr and it shows me the 'more like this' collection of posts and it shows posts from blogs I've blocked like?? Yes girl that’s exactly what I wonna see :D man this site is insufferable lol
#ig this is kinda like a vent but not really im just being petty :p#man I fucking hate this webbed site#would y'all hate me if I left Tumblr and moved to twitter fr this time LMAO#this also happens to posts by people I've blocked reblogged by others like?? Tumblr STOP I do not want to see that askdjhadkj-#I don't really need to know when my mutuals are doing that come on now ://#also the blacklisting feature?? why do u need to give me the option to see posts just just let me mute things for good <//3#in some strange way I think twitter functions work better than Tumblr lol#at least my notifications are real there and half my followers aren't bots </3 blocks actually fucking work#so much easier to tell what people believe in/stand for too akjdhjd-#someone liked a tweet of mine and right in their bio they had like all the twt factions they're in and Saw Some Alarming ones and nope righ#to the blocklist- I don't have that type of security on Tumblr ppl actually keep parts of their lives private here wtf /lh /hj#the issue with twitter though is that im afraid to be annoying there cuz I mostly just post art and interact with like the 5 mutuals Im -#not afraid of#also tags on Tumblr my beloved <33#also no one on twitter knows im a Furry Artist Primarily and atp im too scared to let it be known </3#im just a silly wolf girl who accidentally grew a following release me from this hell /lh#Maybaps it’s time for me to take a Tumblrer break now that the season is bungover
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"people love you uwu people care about you" okay? not my problem. love me less. can we work out a reasonable level of care where it's obviously not cool if horrible things happen to me, a human being, and you won't do any horrible thing to me, but you don't feel obligated to fuss over anything out of the ordinary i do and i have to shut up about it and perform Normal Human Emotions lest i commit an awful social faux pas and hurt your feelings?
#like idk. can you care about stuff that matters? i guess is what i'm asking?#sorry that my own self-directed problems hurt you <3#sorry that i'm a horrible person if i talk about it and a horrible person if i don't <3#i just shouldn't have problems i guess cant believe i didnt think abt that#sorry i don't really care if people would be sad to see me die#would actually be pretty nice to get past the huge feeling of guilt over not being helpful all the fucking time#like i can't go through life being a service dog for everybody around me#(and i dont to be clear. it's not possible and when i say i feel guilty over not doing it it doesn't mean i do 100% of the time)#(i do try to be helpful and useful and i hate missing an opportunity but also i don't have 24/7 free of obligations)#(and i can't magically spot and correctly understand what could need help)#(but i feel like it does take up a good portion of my life. mostly bc everybody around me has Problems rn)#(and because the overlap of ''things that feel good for me'' and ''things that are good for other people'' is pretty small so far)#it's just. yknow. i would like it if for once i could express a negative feeling without it being a huge offense to people around me#ejhrkthrjeh i know i'm just asking the universe if pretty please my actions could have zero consequences and it's overall unrealistic#but like. god. i wish for once it was met with indifference. casual vibes. not a huge deal yknow.#some of my friends do sometimes! it's nice! but of course i can't talk abt the problems that directly include them#i know it makes me so shit at reacting to ppls problems. like either i overcompensate with the worry cuz i feel like thats what they want#or i react coldly and dont provide anything useful to the situation#broadcasting my misery#vent
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Actually cry so goddamn hard when I think about Shinjiro Aragaki healing and being loved and having to learn to be okay with himself and being taken care of
#writing him has just been like. OOOOWOEOEOEOOE i piss tears i cant handle this shit this gay ass shit#i came up with an idea for just like a cute short one shot i wanna do soon and hnnnghh im so emo about it#very healing its like very hard to write some of the shit im gonna be writing cuz basically#some of it is just a little too real man and while i crave the angst and the drama i am just like#AND THEN EVERYONE HOLDS HANDS AND ITS OKAY PLEASE DONT CRY PLEASE#and ive mentioned how shinji has accidentally become nb to me now because i just kinda happened to write him that way without meaning to#and now another thing im noticing is that in my fic hes kinda bpd coded#it definitely wasnt intentional but now im accepting it as truth no one can stop me#i just really need him to be happy its more important to me than anything else man i need it for me#and he needs to be gay with aki they need to kissy and i think its funny cuz even in the parts where shinji is mad at aki and pushing him#away its like. he kinda has it bad lol and its clear he feels no actual hatred towards aki but more just self deprecation because he doesnt#feel good enough and like idk i just think about their respective roles in society like#aki is an honor student star boxer hero very attractive very kind very popular got adopted by a rich family#hes going places you know meanwhile shinji is a drop out who never had a family ever hes homeless hes sketchy hes on drugs#his reputation couldnt be any worse and he just leans into it and feels he has no future and hes worthless garbage#and aki could literally have anyone he wants you know he has an army of girls pining over him but he doesnt want them#HE WANTS SHINJI AND NO ONE ELSE HE SPENDS YEARS CHASING AFTER HIM#and shinji HATES it hes trying so hard to push him away and be the crusty delinquent and make aki see how worthless he really is#but aki just doesnt stop he loves him so much makes me sick SICK#and shinji really loves him back hes like not gonna shut up ever about aki hes like either doing it in a gay ass annoyed way#or hes like ‘haha omg aki is so cute though hes always trying so hard to be tough but hes just so sweet and gentle you know i hope he#doesnt push himself too hard if he got hurt id fall apart hes so silly i hope hes eating good i desire him carnally’#yeah sorry gamers this is just a pairing i cant be normal about they mean so much to me personally the fate of the world rests upon them
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I had the funniest dream last night that there was a new episode specifically for s2 of H2O. It was just a revamp of season 1 episode 10 the camera never lies but Rikki and Zane teamed up to film something underwater at Mako Island. Rikki was the camerawoman and Zane was the actor (as you do when mermaids are involved).
Filming went well, there were no sharks, and Zane had the money to buy a bunch of cool stuff for filming underwater including breathing tubes and air pumps to explain how the camerawoman could stay underwater for so long (the show just used their actual versions of them because I mean. They had them. At the very least they had them for the scene where Zane sinks in the Lorelei. I don't see why they wouldn't still use them for some s2 shots).
But when they finally got back and were watching the footage they were like oh shit. They can't show this because Cleo Emma and Lewis are going to realize what they did, and they're going to realize they're dating and that Zane knows about Rikki.
So it ended up becoming a hot potato game of passing the footage between each other until Nate got his hands on it and entered it into the competition for himself. So that gave Zane and Rikki a bit of an out because Zane could just say Nate was filming him, but Rikki is upset because she put a lot of work into the film and now she's not getting credit for it. Especially since last year essentially the same thing happened where she made a film and couldn't use or get credit for her work.
Zane ended up forfeiting the submission because of it and shrugs it off when Rikki is like why would you do that, you totally would have won again, it was leagues better than everyone else's. And Zane was like. Yeah. Exactly. You wouldn't have gotten the credit for it, and I don't want to win if it isn't with you.
So, totally unrelated note, I think I just came up with a new filler episode for my H2O fic.
#Cuz it IS an annual competition... I'm just saying...#The A plot being that Lewis has to work with either Charlotte or Cleo and Emma for the film this year#So it's Emma and Cleo vs Charlotte and Lewis#And while Charlotte is very artsy and Lewis has a history of winning... Charlotte can also be very bossy and controlling#So she tries to take full control of the project and tell Lewis what to do so he's basically just doing the work for her#And he has to sit her down and be like 'Charlotte. I teamed up with you because I wanted to work together. This isn't that.'#I love her but she can be very controlling. I know it because I can be that way too#So can Emma btw but the show doesn't treat Emma as terribly as it treats Charlotte 🤔🤔 it treats Emma as quirky and Charlotte as evil#Anyway I personally think Charlotte and Lewis winning the competition after they work out the issues in production would be really cute#Listen. Charlotte might spiral by the end of actual season 2. But I'm going to fix her. She's going to get a redemption arc. I'm not#Going to treat her like trash like the actual writers did solely because they needed an antagonist. It's not fair to her#H2O au#Cruddy rambles#This is going to be my replacement for Hocus Pocus because I consider Hocus Pocus to be non canon#I also think comparing Emma's actions in s1 vs her actions in s2 vs Charlotte's would be a good way to show the reader hey. Charlotte isnt#Actually a horrible terrible no good villain. She has flaws just like the other girls but she's also a decent person when they're not#Constantly being highlighted by the writers to make her out to be an irredeemable antagonist#Also every episode in H2O has to feature at least like 5 minutes of merm. Well I have that with the part I had a dream about so it's perfect#Tho I wouldn't be opposed to there being a bit in the middle where Lewis transforms and has to run off from Charlotte who freaks out#And that's what prompts their talk about her fully taking over the project and smothering all of Lewis's ideas/suggestions#It's very much a reflection of how she is when planning his birthday party but you know we are going to approach this less in the context of#'She's an irredeemable villain' and more in the context of ''she's a teenager with flaws''#Because that is way more reasonable and hey... If it ends up having a butterfly effect on how she acts later on in the season... Well... ;)
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#vent#someones giving me a referral for an internship and im so grateful buts its happening so damn fast and i cant get this goddamn cover letter#its my first time writing a cover letter now that i have actual experience to draw upon and its such a different skillset than#the bullshit i wrote before#and youd think it would be easier but i am just so overwhelmed and cannot handle this#i found out about the internship monday. met with the guy for the referral tuesday. and so he wants my materials to recommend on wednesday#but its 5am and i dont have it done yet and im scared ive already fucked this up because i shouldve tried harder but im just freaking out#cuz i still havent done my homework and i still havent done any of my grading work for 17 fucking students and i need to interview peopl fo#project management stuff in the next couple days and i need to fix my class schedule by thursday and its rosh hashana on friday night and i#just cant do it all im not managing to do any of it#but this is huge opportunity the internship is at a great company and its 50 bucks an hour which is crazy and this guy is a great connectio#which i dont have for any other opportunity so#i dont know if i can afford to fuck this up and i just need to get it done but i just cant i just cant do it and i tried to schedule a#career advising meeting but theyre all taken until THURSDAY and the guy really likes proactive people and hes for sure going to have a#lowered opinion of me for not being able to get a cover letter done which is supposed to only take 15 minutes#so im fucked and i fucking hate everything im just so goddamn done with how stressful everything is even when good things are happening lik#whats the goddamn point#ok i think im having an anxiety attack
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