#is it a social norm? yes

[sugar-konpeito]

Kind of a rant

In Japan, being a public disturbance is reallyyyy frowned upon and if someone is, it's pretty common that a stranger will scold them. Usagi and Mamoru's dynamic in the first season gets misunderstood, because that sort of thing doesn't really exist in the US. Usagi's primary setting is "public disturbance" and Mamoru coincidentally keeps being the person who scolds her. Americans just see it as bullying because the idea of a stranger scolding you (for something *you* did wrong) is foreign to them. The US is individualist but Japan is collectivist, so there's more accountability for bad public etiquette.

people are just constantly like "why is he bullying her😢😢" during scenes where usagi is breaking like 5 massive social rules at once. for context, some japanese social rules that will get you scolded if broken would be: yelling, talking loudly, sitting on the ground, crawling, throwing things (duh), running, bumping into people, and eating while walking (you could run into someone).

when mamoru makes fun of her for "stuffing her face" or something, he's not criticizing her for eating, he's criticizing her for eating while walking.

basically, the concept is "what if the person who is rude in public and the person who scolds them ended up being in love haha". it's really not that deep, like it's just silly. usagi ignores basic social rules, and then acts dense when she's being scolded, so the five year olds at home can be like "haha that's so silly. also i shouldn't eat my candy while walking so i don't run into people like she does".

these interactions are a comedic way to teach young children everyday etiquette, basically. and mamoru's scolding being completely ineffective and making the issue worse adds to the comedy

(i do think gently explaining to her that she's bothering others is what would get through to her, but that's not very funny and would be really anticlimactic so.. also her character arc is literally about being less self centered and taking others into account more, like these fights are thematically important too.)

[peachdoxie]

Rereading Oathbringer, and it's once again so painfully clear to me that Lirin pushing Kaladin to become a surgeon was his desperate attempt to keep Kaladin from going to war. As a surgeon's assistant, Kaladin was exempt from being conscripted into the Alethi military, and sending him to Kharbranth would get him even further away from the war. I know Lirin gets a lot of flak for trying to push his views and desires onto Kaladin, but all I really see is a father trying his hardest to protect his son from the horrors of war while living in a society that venerates it.

[curiositysavesthecat]

In regard to this poll

This poll only talks about cases where there’s no medical emergency involved, so you — the person who picks up the cellphone for someone else — have no idea who the caller is or what the call is about. You just pick up the cellphone for someone else because they’re not around. They can be your friend or even your spouse, but that’s not the point.

*The poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[13eyond13]

friendly reminder that L canonically falls on the overly fussy about cleanliness side of personal hygiene rather than the grubby side. He is probably a bit odd and/or lazy about some of the methods he uses to get clean (like the jokes in that one-shot where he has Watari change his shirt for him and bathes in a human washing machine thingy and owns a conveyer belt with a bunch of identical clothes), but not about BEING clean (he probably has certain habits like delicately holding things by his fingertips partially because he dislikes getting messy so much, and he often hires other people to do the truly dirty work for him as well)

[tddott]

Hot take I think Dawn could be a very interesting villain. She wouldn't be openly malicious like Scott or enjoy the suffering of others like Mal, but more of a true neutral. You know she could absolutely use her abilities to show people their true, ugly side and force them to confront their demons head on. An outcast, a deep seated sense of resentment. She wouldn't start the fire but she would watch everything burn

[dysphoric-culture-is]

Question— if gender is a social construct, then how does body/sex dysphoria exist, especially stuff like phantom limb that many trans people get?/gen. Although I guess I’ll never know, I think that if I spent my whole life on a deserted island and never had any human contact I’d still feel something off about my body and stuff. Like, having more or less pieces of paper doesn’t actually affect you, it’s the value that you put on those pieces that make money important, but I don’t think that’s how gd operates?

People (correctly) call gender a social construct because, like money, it's a concept that humans made up and have developed over thousands of years.

Societal standards about gender (AKA gender roles) dictate how people think about gender, and those standards are very cisnormative. The normal value and qualities given to gender by societal standards don't leave room for trans, nonbinary, intersex, and gender non-conforming people. For example in Western society the traditional thinking goes: long hair=boobs=feminine=woman and beard=no boobs=masculine=man etc even if that's not true.

So body dysphoria can exist because the social construct of gender says that certain body parts or features 'belong' to certain genders, and so anyone that doesn't fit that can experience dysphoria.

For example, a transfem who's spent her whole life growing up in a society that thinks p*nis=man is probably going to have bottom dysphoria (especially if she was assigned male at birth because of her genitalia).

And for your example of the island, trans and intersex people who live in more accepting places (with cultures that recognize gender diversity or that that don't equate gender with body parts) might be less dysphoric. Trans people who live alone may also be less dysphoric because they aren't being judged based on their bodies. That being said when the average person is cis and your body doesn't function/look the same way as theirs it can still make you feel dysphoric or weird about your body!

So if you lived on an deserted island there's no way to know if you'd still have body dysphoria if you'd never had any human contact but chances are that even if you felt off/weird, you wouldn't even have a sense of gender. The sense of weirdness is still valid but your no-human-contact self probably wouldn't be able to understand it.

The way people experience their dysphoria, just like the way people think about gender roles or value money or perform social customs etc, is very much influenced by their culture.

And so people with no/low dysphoria often just don't care as much about the traditional construct of gender. They know their body parts don't control their gender no matter what people say and it doesn't bother them that much. For people who do experience body dysphoria though, even if you know that body parts don't equal gender they can still bother you a lot (especially if people have invalidated you [or you've invalidated yourself] based on them).

Hopefully mod understood your question and this helps anon! Dysphoria is different for everyone and it's a tricky question.

[small-plants]

I really hate the trope of when a villain is trying to be displayed as creepy and stuff through mannerisms and it’s just… autistic traits. I don’t think it’s always intentional but just the whole you can tell this person is evil because they have harmless mannerisms that are just… me when I’m not masking. It’s really annoying to see over and over again. Like oh this guy has an obsessive interest with something most people find scary clearly this leads to them being evil and trying to murder people instead of just like learning facts?

They act differently when they are alone and are only a nice “normal” person for show but are actually Strange and Weird when they drop the mask and therefore must be manipulative and Evil.

They talk less or in a different cadence or tone that is “creepy” so that the viewers know they’re evil. Even though that’s just how some people talk???

They don’t understand social cues and customs as well, clearly this is going to be their motive to destroy the world.

They don’t feel or display emotions “normally”, clearly this means they are unfeeling and evil.

Constantly seeing harmless traits I have only be shown in villains really doesn’t help with the feeling like there is something inherently Wrong and Bad in me that I must suppress no matter what, which has been a common feeling since I was in elementary school.

This doesn’t exist just in fiction either. For example I know someone at school who people will make jokes about how he’s going to be a school shooter and when asked why they literally just say because he’s quiet, laughs and smiles too much or too little in conversations and makes unusual eye contact? Like he’s actually really nice and also tries to be polite and respectful what more do you fucking want from him. Sorry someone doesn’t perfectly fit your arbitrary social norms, no that does not mean they are going to kill you where the fuck did you get that from how are those things your “evidence” that someone is actually Bad and Evil.

I don’t necessarily hate villains who happen to have autistic traits If they are written well I just really hate it when those traits are seen as just like inherently evil and the villain has no coherent motive other than just being weird and evil which seems to happen a lot.

[pornography-for-kenkus]

every day on this cursed webbed site i come across some of the stupidest fucking opinions i've ever seen and i'm honestly so so strong for not engaging

[monsterkitties]

olivia is so tfw no gf because shes. awkward as fuck Like That and Crazy. every woman she meets within ten minutes shes talking about something like the politics of fuckin bleaching your asshole or psychologically analyzing them as a person or how the entire whole of existence literally everything IS. a circle.

[itellmyselfsecrets]

“Male bonding is institutionalized learned behavior whereby men recognize and reinforce one another’s bonafide membership in the male gender class and whereby men remind one another that they were not born women…Male bonding is how men learn from each other that they are entitled under patriarchy to power in the culture. Male bonding is how men get that power, and male bonding is how it is kept.” - bell hooks (ain’t I a woman: black women and feminism)

[juniorfor2]

I will never understand how this specific fandom, mostly on tumblr, managed to create an entire group of people who love non-characterized, essentially non-existent, super “pure” side characters in a way that points to an incredibly specific group of very, very white liberal people who think that they are super accepting by engaging in political correctness to such an extreme degree that they actually end up on the queerphobic, non-feminist, and racist side of refusing to accept anyone who breaks from the social norm and only accepting “pure” and insignificant characters that have to be self-inserted into in order to have even the slightest amount of importance.

[gothic-chicanery]

Queer media I like in terms of like representation are deeply nuanced portrayals of identity that don’t sugarcoat anything but also offer hope and joy and love AND the worst people you’ve ever met who are on four levels of sexuality and gender in a way that does not fit into neat boxes doing war crimes to each other

[curiositysavesthecat]

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[barnbridges]

deep deep hater of any "im an atheist i do not conform to any social dogma about religion" especially when its from some "skeptic" of a particular religious establishment. i dont suck the dick of any church but like... if your whole identity as an atheist is based on that you hate whatever religion you grew up (usually a branch of christianity) the social norms and establishment of this religion have affected you, congrats.

[madd-ace]

I forgot to post here, but I redid Gallant's original design awhile back and I am looking for ways to use them in this form again.

Travel the planes of time, cause rifts, accidentally just crack their power form and just wants to be home for someone? The possibilities are endless!

[chuck-leglerg]

A short view back to the past on F1 drivers' questionable relationship with food and exercise:

- Valtteri Bottas suffered from ED around 2013

- David Coulthard suffered from bulimia in his teenage years

- George Russell said "I can't afford to have dessert cuz I weigh 72kg in the morning" in Miami 2022 [PSA: as long as your overall diet and nutrient-dense and balanced, you can have desserts in moderation]

- Charles Leclerc said in 2018 that he "tries to workout enough that he can afford to eat whatever he wants" [PSA: you should never "earn food" through over-exercising]

- Also Charles in his 2023 winter training videos, mentioning how he "was quite good over Christmas" and "worked hard enough today so he can finally 'enjoy' his dinner" (ngl that video was a bit triggering to me cuz I see my ED self in it) (not implying he does have any problems in this regard) [PSA: every food is good food and again you don't need to overexercise to "earn" food]

And here they are, a fia-accredited media, doubling down on their job that already have weight requirements and their very questionable relationship with food, posting body shaming comments about drivers, under their east Asia fatphobic social norms. (I am allowed to shit on it cuz I AM from east Asia)

As someone who suffered from ED and is still recovering from recent relapse, I find it incredibly triggering, disgusting, and potentially dangerous. This body shaming promotes nothing but fatphobia and weight stigma, and can be very triggering for those who already have issues with food.

I bet whoever wrote that caption has no awareness that eating disorders have the highest mortality rate among all kinds of mental health issues. I bet whoever wrote that has no idea that eating disorders affect people of all genders, races and body sizes. I bet whoever wrote that caption has no recollection that eating disorders are under diagnosed in many demographic groups such as men, especially male athletes.

I am personally grossed out by that. And I hope I will never see that.

And please. If you have issues with food, seek help. Go to see your GP and talk to them about it. Go to see an ED specialist and get help from them. Talk to ED helplines and see your options.