#is him being a kid with separated parents and struggling with cultural clashes

[mzminola]

Man, from like a character growth perspective I don't think Damian's love of animals as actually...positive? Like it's nice that there are things outside his status/survival that he cares about, but... Damian was raised in an eco-terrorist cult. Being protective of animals while struggling with the Bats' no-killing-people rule is just, like, basic status quo for him?

Not that the League of Assassins didn't harm plenty of animals & plants & ecosystems in their world domination schemes & even day to day life but the idealism of "I will become vegetarian because I love Batcow so much" is not a change. It's not growth away from his upbringing. That's fine, Damian is allowed to find things from his early childhood valuable, and if he actually grappled with it all I could see that being positive growth. Him actually examining the values and coming to his own conclusions.

But the way it's presented in the comics and the things fans to do with it don't feel like growth or change to me. It mostly feels like people are focusing on the murder/violence aspects of the cult he was raised in and completely ignoring the eco-terrorism. Ignoring that the League of Assassins values a fantasy of nature over humanity. Like they forget it's even a thing. And again, the comics are very much focused on the Assassin part so that makes sense.

It just means many of the things written to make Damian endearing to the audience just fall flat for me.

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

People have been asking for a Chang timeline post! Chang not only represents a turning point in the politics of the Tintin series, he also represents a sense of chronology in the otherwise floating timeline of the canon. While Tintin almost never discusses his past, Chang is a key part of his personal story in Tintin in Tibet.

I imagine him and Tintin being around the same age, with Chang being a few months younger.

Child - Chang had a happy early childhood being raised by his father and grandparents. He never mentions his mother when recounting his backstory to Tintin, so my main guesses are she either passed away or his parents separated before Chang was old enough to remember her. His father and grandparents taught him how to cook from an early age, and taught him the importance of solidarity and community, lessons Chang will hold onto the rest of his life.

Early canon - Chang is orphaned. This sudden loss causes him to act out. He turns to picking pockets and causing general mischief until an orphanage takes him in. Chang learns a lot of skills just to survive - he’s stealthy, he’s street smart and pretty decent at climbing. His experiences as a street kid taught him to be wary of authority.

The orphanage provides a brief period of stability until it is swept away in a flood. Until this point, Chang has felt pretty powerless in his life so just goes with the flow, so when Tintin drags him out of a river he doesn’t think twice about going along with him to break up a drug ring in The Blue Lotus. Going on this adventure with Tintin imbues him with a sense of empowerment and purpose he never felt before.

Student - The Wangs adopt him pretty quickly after he busts the drug ring with Tintin. It’s a sudden change he struggles to adapt to, with the Wangs being wealthy academics and Chang coming from a working class background there’s a significant culture clash.

Tintin leaves just as quickly and rarely contacts Chang, even as his journalism career takes off, leaving Chang lonely and heartbroken. Chang tries to send him letters but doesn’t know that Tintin moved out of Labrador Road.

Having missed out on education for a bit Chang struggles with school. He feels unworthy of the opportunities the Wangs try to provide him with and a part of him feels they only adopted him because they were dazzled by him taking down that drug ring, an achievement he increasingly feels he will never live up to again. He struggles with mental health issues, but finds solace in photography, his portfolio getting him a place at university despite his bad grades.

Young adult - In an attempt to try and help Chang’s mental wellbeing the Wangs decide to send Chang off to visit his uncles before he starts university, only for Chang to nearly perish in a plane crash in Tibet. Ironically, it’s this near death experience that shakes him out of it. Chang has a renewed enthusiasm for life, taking to travelling, dance and photography. Didi trains him in some basic martial arts so Chang can fend for himself.

Tintin makes an effort to stay in touch after having nearly lost Chang. The two repair their friendship, and Tintin has him stay at Marlinspike when Chang studies in Belgium for his second year of university. By the time Chang comes around, he’s had a growth spurt and has been working out - Chang is pretty haunted by his skeletal state from his near death experience in Tibet, so has been making an effort to recover.

After helping Tintin with a case, Tintin gets him a job at his paper as his photographer. Being Chinese he faces challenges in the workplace, and he uses his charm to be as personable as possible. Unlike Tintin, he frequents quite a few staff parties, and ends up pretty popular!

A couple of years later, Chang tries to unionise the staff at the paper. He and Tintin are outed as a couple and the two of them are fired.

Middle aged - After fighting fascists with the Marlinspike team during WW2 Chang and Tintin settle down in Belgium, with Chang scraping out some freelance photography work and a part time job at a portraiture studio. War in China causes them to lose contact with his adopted family. 

While Tintin grows more cynical, Chang accepts the chaos of the world and mellows out a lot. He tries to be a supportive partner and makes extra effort to stay in touch with his uncles and cousins.

Elderly - Chang uses his skills in photojournalism when he gets involved in political activism. He and Tintin are finally able to reunite with Didi and his children in the 70s.

[mauesartetc]

While we're waiting for Millie's shine in later episodes, how would you develop Millie and how would you write her?

PFFF uhh I expect we'll be waiting indefinitely tbh. But I guess the first step would be to ask a lot of questions and figure out which pieces are missing from the puzzle. Here's a list of what's on my mind about Millie, in no particular order:

In "The Harvest Moon Festival", she hugged her dad upon seeing him, but not her mom. Was she closer to her dad growing up? Why?

What first attracted her to knives and axes, and who taught her to use them as weapons?

What was her favorite job on the farm growing up?

Who was her first love?

How did she meet Blitzo and Moxxie?

What occupations did she have before joining IMP?

Does she ever hang out with anyone other than her coworkers and her husband? What are her friends like? How did they meet?

Does she want to have kids someday?

What's her educational background? If she went to college, which subject/s did she major in?

What hobbies does she have outside of killing people?

Millie's aggressive, violent side is emblematic of Wrath ring culture, but does she have any traits that clash with it?

What's her favorite location in all of Hell, and why?

Standard job interview fare: Where does she see herself in five years?

Why doesn't she ever stand up to Blitzo when he berates her husband? (I mean, in a meta sense, we know why, but what's the reason inside the narrative?)

What does her extended family look like? Do they all live in Wrath, or are they spread out across other rings?

What does she love most about Moxxie?

What did she and Moxxie do on their first date?

What's her most prized possession?

Most of these questions are fairly surface-level, like the kind of thing you'd ask someone you just met at a party. But the thing is, we've barely been introduced to Millie through this entire series. It'd help if she spent an episode or two away from Moxxie so we can see her personality as an individual rather than part of a set. These writers seem to think true love = being attached at the hip, but that's not how strong relationships work. You need a balance of the partners spending time together and having time to themselves. If a relationship leaves no room for independence, it'll get stifling pretty damn quick.

Maybe at some point, Millie gets burnt out from work and decides she needs a solo vacation for her mental health. This would separate her from Moxxie and provide an opportunity to glimpse parts of her life that don't revolve around him and IMP, as well as delve into the fractured mental state of a character who's usually a pillar of strength. To co-opt and rephrase a meme real quick: Everyone asks "What can Millie do for me?", not "How is Millie doing?"

Ideally, the whole episode would focus on her, with no B- or C-plots. She could meet her friends for coffee, or maybe visit extended family members. Perhaps learn some things about herself she never knew before. This all sounds very low-key and lacking in spectacle for this show, but any plot can crackle with deft storytelling. It'd be preferable if the episode answered multiple questions (not too many, but multiple) about the character at its center.

But when all's said and done, it seems the most important question is: What does this character currently struggle with the most? What do they want, and what's preventing them from getting it?

One major problem Millie and the other IMP employees have is that they don't seem to want anything. There's not much driving their actions.

Blitzo presumably wants his business to succeed, but what does that look like to him? What specific goal is he trying to reach? The Goetia family has a bit more direction: Stolas wants a deeper emotional connection with Blitzo (God only knows why, but that's what's presented to us), Octavia obviously wants her parents to stop fighting (though we have no idea how she plans to achieve this), and Stella wants Stolas dead (though she didn't think the consequences through, somehow) but everyone else is a big ol' question mark.

Anyway, that's just a basic overview of how I'd approach it.

[listless-brainrot]

I get haru’s chemistry with katara, but how does he connect with any of the other members of the gaang in your opinion? I'm genuinely curious

hey thanks so much for your curiosity anon!! i love talking about this and i’ve actually made a post about it already, lemme add it here but also elaborate further to include zuko and toph this time

haru’s character is one never intended to be anything beyond surface level given that he’s a background character but there is a LOT to deduce from his character and it’s really interesting how they managed to make a “boring” side character with a lot of main character potential, and i think i’ve finally managed to crack why and it’s because of how much of his character has in terms of potential with connecting and working with the main gaang

just gonna put it out here i’m also gonna pull some haru characterization from the videogames to help my case

let’s start with aang, who is actually kind of similar to katara in terms of complete cultural devastation, it’s of course much worse for him as he lost all of his people but that’s still a point of sympathy and i’m sad it’s not brought up as much as it should be because it’s absolutely integral to his character and position as the avatar. speaking of being the avatar haru clearly knows who he is and believes he represents hope in this world coming back, there’s that sense of wonder and true faith in his cause to end this war and just as katara gives haru that inspiration to fight and make a stand against this war, i think aang does that too, whether he realizes it or not. there’s also this cultural obligation to continue bending or practicing your culture when everything else has been erased or suppressed, whether it be to preserve the memory of someone you once held dear or just because you know its the right thing to do. i think haru would really understand that on a personal level, even if his dad and the earthbenders did come back, and in turn try to give aang hope as well. in terms of personality i’d also just love to see haru, who probably has some sort of reverence for the avatar and was taught to respect him and be polite all the time, see aang as this kid who’s optimistic and sweet while also being a wielder of all four elements and learn to see him as a person and even a friend.

i’m not going to go too in depth with katara, as that post already did a phenomenal job, but i will add on the fact that i believe that haru and katara would also bond over how they had to learn bending and its sources, especially if we cite the “haru bends using firebending techniques” meta, which is also super in depth and well worth the read, and especially considering how katara learned bloodbending if this was something actually expanded on within the show i think haru would be able to help her understand that she is much more than that pain and suffering, and even if the techniques were used to hurt people in the past, she can be much more than that now.

and man. haru and sokka. they’d get along so well like. “my dad who is the leader of my tribe/village was sent away due to the war and i have idolized/missed him so much since then and though it’s unspoken there is a lot of pressure on me as man of the house to protect what little i have left”?? cmon. “my dad who used to be a rebellious leader full of hope and strength was broken down over the course of his five year imprisonment and i struggle with who he has become now” haru and “my dad left me in charge of a tribe of women and children on my own and i want to be a warrior just like him but i wonder if he could see me now if he’d really be proud of me and who i had to become” sokka. that sense of imposter syndrome that comes with being the eldest and the son of a leader?? the sympathy and that personal understanding?? i would’ve loved to see it. also in the games haru often makes fun of sokka just as much as he makes fun of everyone else and it would’ve been really funny to see these two smartasses clash given their different styles of whiny attitudes. also haru is pretty book-smart, and knows a lot about earth kingdom culture and technology, and i think he’d work well with sokka in terms of strategy. however, given haru’s lack of an impulse control, the plans he suggests may be a bit debatable.

now we get to haru and toph, who i should honestly make an entire separate post on but. to summarize most of my thoughts, haru and toph are both earth kingdom kids who come from entirely different places and positions of power and class in the war, and have been affected by the war to differing degrees. haru is a peasant from a coastal farm living under fire nation control for five years. he’s our prime example of what average life in the earth kingdom was like under the fire nation. toph comes from the rich beifong family, with personal bending tutors and even guards. she’s so far removed from the war, and she joined to fight it on a whim. their personalities and viewpoints would clash so much, and i think they’d have a really hard time getting along at first. there would be a lot of misunderstanding and haru wanting to understand toph somehow but toph being toph thinking he just wants to parent her or something. it would’ve been interesting interpersonal conflict. but i think when they do eventually become friends they’d become really close, they’d have shared experiences and inside earth kingdom jokes the rest wouldn’t get and hell maybe even toph would try to teach him how to metalbend cause you can’t win the war with just one metalbender, and haru would finally be able to learn from a real earthbending teacher, whose style is so unrestrained and powerful because it developed in a place away from war. also they can bond over having strained relationships with their parental figures!

zuko is... hard to place with haru, i’ll admit. the fact that he’s fire nation is an inseparable fact given how much of haru’s life has been directly affected and ruined by it, as everyone else’s has. i think that, if he was treated more like an actual character, haru would offer a valuable perspective on the gaang later accepting him into their group. sure, he hasn’t been hurt by zuko personally (unless we count the possibility that after the prison break zuko may have followed the prison boats back to the village looking for katara and aang after getting her necklace but that’s another can of worms entirely), but he’s experienced the horrors of the fire nation soldiers firsthand. they’ve heavily taxed his village, they’ve taken all of the earthbenders including his dad, they’ve broken into and threatened to burn down his mom’s shop... these are things not easily forgiven, and it’d be interesting to explore his side. but in terms of them as people, i think what’s funny is that both haru and zuko are extremely dramatic and angry and their similarities, while tragic, would also be kind of funny to see. though, i think out of everyone on this list, haru and zuko wouldn’t get that close- i don’t think haru would let himself, but if there was an arc involving zuko gaining his trust on some personal level, maybe it’d be interesting to explore.

all in all, though- haru has been cited as lonely in many of his official characterizations. i’d just like to have some friends, and maybe he’d find them with the gaang.

[halfpint55]

A Defence of Kataang with regards to how they are portrayed in TLoK (it’s long but there’s headcanons at the end)

Note: This is not about shipping wars. This is a safe zone. This is not about Zutara vs Kataang. This is me defending Kataang and the characters themselves...from the writers. 

I initially wrote this as a response to a post that got me heated. My reblog just made it too long so here it is as its own post. 

Now this post ripped apart Kataang as a couple but more than that said some stuff about Aang himself that hurt my heart. I didn’t really want to pick on this post but its condemning of Kataang was based almost entirely in what we know of them as parents in TLoK and honestly it’s that lil nugget of canon that I take issue with. It has bothered me from the get go because it doesn’t make sense from a writing and story perspective, and it’s been pissing me off since I watched it.

TL;DR nice and early bc this post is gonna be a long one:

This particular condemnation of Kataang rests almost entirely on the SHITTY way they were portrayed as parents by the writers of LoK, and in all honesty, on this particular topic, canon should be ignored.

Overall Kataang parenting is of my biggest gripes with LoK because in terms of writing it’s totally incongruous - it doesn’t fit, it doesn’t align, and it makes zero sense for what we know of those characters, and I don’t know if I can ever forgive the showrunners for allowing it to be written it into canon.

I will also preface this by saying I like LoK - love it. I had a scroll through the comments and reblogs on this post, and a lot of the hate towards this portrayal of Kataang ended up being blamed on the “terrible writing of LoK” which is not where I stand at all. That being said I am so angry at the writers for this one.

The other portion of the concurring comments that were very hateful towards Kataang came from Zutara shippers and honestly for me, although I do ship Kataang, this not a just a Kataang issue. I’m of the belief that Zutara would’ve just as easily been written to have similar issues due to very similar dynamics - Zutara also would have been two powerful benders from very different cultures, and with Zuko/Aang (whoever you ship w her) having a massively important global leadership role that is embedded in who they are, and therefore impossible to ignore as a factor in their relationship.

Now let me be clear, my desire to reject canon on this front is by no means me wanting to believe the best of my faves, and not wanting to hear a word against Aang. It’s not even necessarily a defence of Kataang bc I ship it that hard (I mean I do but I can set that aside for the sake of argument if that’s what you need from me here). 

The first, and main issue people have with Aang/Kataang in Korra, is the first point of the original post:

So why in hell would [Katara] be okay with Aang ignoring TWO of their children’s complete existence once he found out they had an airbending son?

And I agree with the post on this front; Katara would not have allowed her children to each be treated differently by their father. I had the same initial thought when watching LoK, and it’s the reason I hate and want to ignore the canon of LoK so badly. 

As much as it hurts to think of, we have to accept that Aang wouldn’t have been able to stop his preferential treatment for Tenzin from bleeding through into his parenting just out of a desperate desire to save his culture (which is absolutely understandable - doesn’t make it okay, but it’s understandable; Aang suffered an incredible loss, a massive cultural trauma which he alone carries the burden of). So of course he wasn’t able to hide how excited he was, and forgot to be mindful of his attitude and behaviour towards Kya and Bumi. So this aspect of canon Kataang? Yeah, I’m with it. So far so good. EXCEPT the most unrealistic element of canon is now that Katara would let him. I simply do not believe for a second that Katara would’ve allowed Aang to be the kind of parent LoK painted him to be.

However, I do not think it would’ve been a point of contention between the two of them! Katara would pull him aside, Katara would gently (but firmly) point out what Aang mightn’t be able to see for himself - he’s focusing too hard on Tenzin.

And Aang would listen.

All throughout A;tLA the two of them often help the other sort through their stuff. Aang has a great track record of being receptive to Katara’s advice and help (calming him down when discovering Monk Gyatso’s body, The Desert when he Appa is stolen, Serpent’s Pass when he’s bottling his feelings about Appa being missing). He’s also just so receptive to others’ ideas - he just goes with it and trusts in his friends (think of his trust in Katara’s plan to rescue Haru, his trust in staying behind with Sokka in the library to get the eclipse info). Aang’s humility is one of the most incredible things about him and it’s at the core of who he is. He would absolutely be able to hear Katara telling him he’s focusing too hard on one child - he would be open, and he’d listen.

So to me now canon just does not make sense at all. it does not align with their established character traits. And yes, people change as they get older and grow into adulthood but honestly, the elements of their respective personalities that we’re talking about here are pretty core elements of who these two people are.

Katara has always been fiercely protective of those she loves, strongwilled, stubborn, and ready to (vocally or physically) fight for what she believes is right and that wouldn’t disappear as she gets older. She wouldn’t let Aang’s preferrential treatment slide.

Aang has always been, and chose to be despite his loss, an optimistic, kind, believe in the best of humanity kind of person. He’s open to all points of view, he’s a good listener, he always tries his absolute best to find solutions that are good for everyone. And again his humility, his willingness to love, is who he is.  He believes all humans (including fkn OZAI) and all life are sacred, he believes in the absolute right to life. The kid is a vegetarian for crying out loud.

Now the parts of the take in the post that hurt my heart to read about what OP thinks of Aang:

“Aang never made an attempt to establish anything resembling a real familial unit with Katara, basically just stayed around until she popped out an Airbender [...] she was treated like some trophy wife to give birth to airbenders and that’s it!”

I wasn’t going to address this in this post until I read the comments in the notes, because people seem to agree. They share the sentiment that Katara was reduced to “just a love interest” by the two ending up together.

However I do very much take issue w the notion that Aang “basically just stayed around until she popped out an Airbender” (and honestly that entire paragraph - we don’t actually know that Aang didn’t make an effort to establish a family unit). As much as the LoK writers fucked up in their portrayal of Kataang as parents, this is a much harsher judgement of Aang’s character as a husband and father than anything implied by Aang and Katara’s children. I just don’t buy that Aang would view Katara (or anyone he married, even if you don’t ship Kataang) as a trophy wife, whose only role is to have airbender children. He never has viewed her that way - he has always looked at her like she’s the sun, and the most important person to him after she pulled him out of the iceburg. He loves her the most of anyone on the planet. It does not align with his character, his values or beliefs that he’d think of her (or any partner) that way. He is so besotted with Katara for who she is it HURT me to read that part of your take. Aang simply would never. Look at how he looks at her! 

What’s more is the unwavering respect and deference he shows Katara as his waterbending master - he recognises and loves her as the whole, complete, three dimensional, TALENTED POWERFUL INCREDIBLE WOMAN that she is. She is NEVER “just” a love interest for Aang. (But ALSO, do we respect Suki any less for being Sokka’s obvious love interest??? No. suki is written to be so badass that Sokka is HER love interest and I think Katara has equally badass energy but I digress).

Moving on!

OP made an excellent point that there would’ve been culturally different values between the two but I don’t think it would’ve been family that was the clashing point. Yes the airbenders value spirituality and enlightenment. But they lived together in massive communities! They supported and raised one another. Their community and culture was strong, and they were bonded in their spirituality! They value love, as well as enlightenment, peace, and the lives of all.

Now, again the points they made about the cultural divides within the Kataang family unit are valid, but also again I dislike how they chose to portray this in LoK. It would definitely be a struggle they faced as a couple. However I think they really missed an opportunity here with where they took it. Because they do at one point in the comics have Katara bring up the fact that their family will be a blend of two cultures, and she brings it up because Aang is trying so hard to bring balance back to the world by means of seperation.

They’ve known from the get go of being a couple that they’re going to have to navigate being a culturally blended family unit.

So I find it so shitty that they wrote it so that Kya got to learn the waterbending culture, Tenzin got Air and bumi got…nothing? It’s dangerously close to the way Disney does the “the girls are carbon copies of mum, and the boys are carbon copies of dad” thing (think Lady and the Tramp). It’s lazy. Especially when we had that “separation is an illusion” episode, AND things like Zuko learning different nation’s styles and applying them to his firebending, and Sokka learning an element of strategy or fighting from every nation. 

So give us Kya using Airbending moves with her waterbending (maybe she invents the water scooter)! Give us Tenzin doing more grounded moves that Aunty Toph (or Lin, while they were together) taught him from earthbending.

There are much more creative ways to illustrate the bumps and troubles Kataang might have run into in trying to navigate incorporating equal parts of their cultures in their children and family unit. Even just smaller scale issues like food and meals - how do they figure out how to do mealstimes with Aang’s vegetarianism with Katara’s culturally significant Water Tribe meat dishes? And then even taking into account how picky little kids can be!

Give me a scene where they literally just ate moon pies for a week because toddler Kya would scream if you put anything else down in front of her.

Maybe Bumi demanded sea prunes over and over but Katara and Bumi are the only ones who like them, and Bumi bonds with his mother this way - they go on little one-on-one outings to water tribe restaurants in Republic City, searching for the most authentic sea prunes!

Kya maybe likes the water tribe fashions the most because it helps her connect with her namesake BUT Kya also has a playful sense of humour - not unlike Monk Gyatso - Aang sees how much she loved moon pies and teaches her to throw them with waterbending.

We know Tenzin was a calm, quiet, and possibly shy child. Maybe he loved to hole himself away learning crafts. Give me Tenzin learning to tattoo, Tenzin learning to carve (and carving his first glider - it crashes of course), but also Tenzin learning to carve water tribe adornments and necklaces. Katara tries at first but when she gets busy Sokka comes in and teaches Tenzin to break all the carving rules Katara has laid down (”it doesn’t need to be perfect my little pupil - let the creativity flow!”)

Tenzin may not be able to waterbend but that doesn’t mean he can’t learn other means of healing. As the littlest he spent a lot of time watching Katara work - she teaches him to tie splints, dress wounds, and yes deliver babies.

If you made it here I love you so much for reading. I love sharing my thoughts so HIGH FIVE YOU MADE IT, ur now my friend - the friendship is non-refundable sorry 😌😌

[impersonal-limbo]

Day 9: Siblings

It was all started with a small triggering hypothetical question which N always did to me. He asked, “Given there were situations where both of your brothers in danger and you can only save one, would you save your big or little brother?” For those who were closes to me it's quite obvious who would I save first, even though I try so hard that this isn’t an option for me to choose. I have to save them both or sacrifice myself. As N cornered me to answer this, given this is only a “what if situations”, I start to reason who should I save. But before that, I have to tell the story of the relationship between me and my brothers to give some context.

I have two siblings: the big and little brother who has only 1.5 years difference from me. I’ve always told people that instead of having brothers I feel like having friends that you’re growing up with for life. We call each other by names, which is quite odd in my culture where we are supposed to call older siblings by honorary calling such as ‘kakak’ which means older siblings. With such a close gap year between us, it's just natural for us to have those dynamics as friends. We had a very happy childhood by having one another. A big brother who always tried everything for the first time, a baby brother who always follow him around foolishly without thinking anything, and me who always triggered by them making me doing the same thing. We quarrel, laugh, struggle, lie and play around together.

As the middle kid and the only girl in the family, somehow I felt a little left out. The first kid always becomes the center of attention, even though my parents didn’t want to discriminate but having the firstborn gives you the urgency to give the best because obviously, you don’t want to screw up the first kid. The baby of the family usually attracts by, you know… just being a baby: a cute, funny, and sometimes reckless kid of the family. And as someone in the middle, it easily slips from your mind. Becoming the only girl didn’t help either. When my brothers playing sports, they nag me not joining because it’s a boyish thing. One time I insist by kept following them around, the other time I surrender and find my way.

As we grew older, those dynamics shift a little. There were times where I wasn’t live with them. I felt physically and emotionally apart, there was this jealousy of my inability to communicate with them. Although it was just a year, the moments where I couldn’t understand their inside joke were tearing me apart. The shift happened years ahead, baby brother and I were at the same high school, while my big brother continues his university in a different town. It was the moment where the friend's dynamic comes to the surface again even though without big brother. I know most of my baby brother's close friends, girlfriend even we were at the same extracurricular. It continued in the higher degree where we enrolled at the same university. My little brother was such a sweet guy, he attends my first exhibition even when he had no idea what it was about, he drove me to another town to help me research my theses and he always available whenever I asked him to accompany me to watch a movie. One day he got sick of food poisoning, yeah baby brother always becomes a baby. He could do nothing but vomiting all day long. I couldn’t let him go by himself so he ended up spending the night at my place in a girls dorm. Another shift happened after we graduated. There were times where I quit my job and stay home for a while. During that moment my big brother always come back home in between his busy job because my father was hospitalized a couple of times. It was a hard time for us and he as the eldest among us put responsibility within himself by always available and tough. As we growing up, I always had clashed with my big brother. He is overly critical, emotionally unavailable, sarcastic, and has this imaginary great-china-wall all around him. It is difficult to know him sometimes although we had a fruitful discussion about many things since we have lots of similar interests. There was one time when I was insanely mad at him. It was a simple as accompany me in a situation where I don’t feel safe, yet again he chose to stay away. After we were living separately for quite some time and when he coming back home in such a difficult time, I feel this gradual connection to know him more. He wasn’t as bad as I think he was. After all, he is the most responsible older brother anyone could ask for.

Coming back to the disturbing question that N gives me, it took me by surprise that I choose my big brother over my baby brother. Again, this leaves an unpleasant feeling to put it this way, but more of my reason is by the practicality. Nowadays, big brother always around home, he helps us a lot by taking responsibility around the house and he’s present. I always thought that I have a special place in my heart for my baby brother. He always reminds me of the good times we had; spending times and having fun activities together. But as time passes by, and now that he's married, our closeness changed. He's not the reckless baby brother who would jump to a deep pool without knowing how to swim, he's not the kid who rode 2-wheeled-bike in downhill for the first time and he's not the boy who always spend all his monthly stipend and starve himself at the end of the month. Maybe this is the new chapter with my big brother; hike a mountain together, drive me wherever I want to go, and nag me of my unhealthy lifestyle. Sure we have different kinds of closeness but It will as fun as I had with my little brother.

[telltalebatman]

oc facts: charlie

no one tagged me i just love her a lot

PLACE IN SOCIETY

✖ FINANCIAL – wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

like all of my oc/canon girls, charlie is filthy rich - and all of it came from her parents, a politician/university professor and a med school lecturer/a highly respected surgeon. some of those money her parents got from their families; but the point is - charlie never had to worry about money. (until she met her soon-to-be husband who robbed her blind.) charlie has no problems with sharing her wealth with those in need - she frequently donates to various fundraising campaigns.

✖ MEDICAL – fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged

she’s bit of a couch potato, and a bit clumsy too; she certainly wouldn’t run in a marathon, and finds herself out of breath after a short, intense jog - but it’s nothing too severe. what she lacks in shape, she makes up with agility - she practices yoga, which renders her a tad more agile than an average person. she still can’t do a lot of things though.

✖ CLASS OR CASTE – upper / lower / middle / working / unsure

charlie is, whether she likes it or not, a member of the social elite. her father spent two terms as a mayor of metropolis when she was a kid, and is an active politician, and a college professor. her mother is a globally renowned as a surgeon and comes from european nobility. charlie grew up with children of ceos, leaders, celebrities - and even after the untimely demise of her parents at the hands of her husband and moving to metropolis, she still finds herself amount the elite, quickly befriending bruce wayne himself, as well as getting cautious attention of the maroni crime family, one of gotham’s assistant district attorneys and thomas elliot - one of gotham’s golden boys, a highly esteemed surgeon and her mother’s pet student. and whether all of this is good... that is a different matter entirely.

✖ EDUCATION – qualified / unqualified / studying

charlie has a master’s degree in english literature - nothing more, and nothing less.

FAMILY

✖ MARITAL STATUS – married, happily / married, unhappily / engaged  / partnered / divorced / widow or widower / separated / single / it’s complicated

she’s a widow - because she killed her husband. it was an ugly mess of a situation - he killed her parents, stole her fortune (in the canon verse - in various aus this changes, depending on what I have in mind) and ran away, prompting her to go on a wild goose chase across the globe, culminating in her finally tracking him down and stabbing him to death with an ice pick. one thing she hadn’t expected though was ending up in a long-term, happy, loving relationship with oz: gotham’s prodigal son, a failed revolutionary and a loyal friend to his (at times unwilling) loved ones.

✖ CHILDREN – has children / no children / wants children / adopted children

the idea of motherhood is kinda scary to her - she’s not opposed to being a cool aunt to someone else’s kid though. (in chasing echoes oswald is eventually going to pull jason todd to his side, and charlie’s gonna develop a fun, unexpectedly satisfying relationship with bruce’s troubled ex-errand boy.)

✖ FAMILY – close with sibling / not close with siblings / has no siblings / siblings are deceased / it’s complicated

✖ AFFILIATION – orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by both parents / it’s complicated

even though charlie - painfully aware of her own personal mediocrity - sometimes felt like she doesn’t quite fit in with her social, accomplished parents - they still made a happy family. for various reasons, her relationship with her mother - eleanor - was always just a bit strained and tense; but it was still, above everything else, loving.

TRAITS & TENDENCIES

✖ disorganized / organised / in between

if left to her own devices, charlie’s going to inevitably scatter her belongings everywhere, forget about doing the dishes and start getting late to things. due to unfortunate depression - time simply flows differently for her.

✖ close-minded / open-minded / in between

charlie is very open-minded, thanks to her father being an outspoken leftist - perhaps even a bit too open-minded. after the split-second of initial confusion, she’d be willing to accept everything - even a violent “revolution”. even an unjust revenge. some may call it open-mindedness; others - naivete.

✖ cautious / reckless / in between

in general, she’s rather cautious - mostly thanks to overwhelming depression and anxiety that make her doubt her every move.

✖ patient / impatient / in between

most of the time, she’s patient - but then come those times when she’s waiting for oz to hurry up and pay attention to her. then, suddenly, she’s the most impatient, almost nagging person you’ve ever met. it has a lot of charm though, because she’s well-aware of being a pain in the ass.

✖ outspoken / reserved / in between

this is something her parents taught her - have your opinion, but know a time and place for it. don’t reveal too much to people you don’t trust, or to people you want to see gone. after all, her mother did come from a noble family, and her father did have a political career. even if he kept challenging his rivals to fistfights.

✖ leader / follower / in between

charlie has absolutely NO desire to lead, or to be in the spotlight - and to be honest... she kind of doesn’t understand people who do. it’s just too responsible, too difficult, too stressful.

✖ sympathetic / unsympathetic / in between

charlie has a lot of sympathy for other people - and that’s why her short-lived marriage with a con artist struggling to pay off his debt to the mafia was so tragic: she would’ve helped him if he asked, no questions asked.

✖ optimistic / pessimistic / in between

though she might appear to be an optimistic ray of sunshine - she’s actually very, very pessimistic. she actually did go through her fair share of feeling deeply let down by people in her life; so she tends to look at every relationship - and every possible scenario - without a glimmer of hope.

✖ hardworking / lazy / in between

you know how i said she inherited a fortune from her parents? 

yeah.

(to be fair, she did work hard for her degree, so it’s not like she doesn’t know how to put effort into things. she simply never really had to put that effort into anything, thanks to her financial stability.)

✖ cultured / uncultured / in between

despite appearing as a ditzy socialite only interested in fashion and gossip - charlie is actually very cultured. she knows quite a lot about many topics, from french cuisine to religious traditions of indigenous cultures; her parents made sure she knows as much about the world as possible.

the problem is - she’s painfully disinterested in most of those topics, instead pretending to stick to things she’s actually into: fashion, games, literature.

✖ loyal / disloyal / in between

all it takes to earn her loyalty is to give her affection and attention; and she’ll be yours forever. she’s also not above being loyal to two people whose causes clash; she can be loyal to her lover, who wishes to kill harvey dent - but also to her friend, who wants to see dent flourish.

✖ faithful / unfaithful / in between

she’s faithful, she’s monogamous, she’s not afraid to wrap herself around her partner in public to make sure everyone sees how much in a relationship they are with each other.

(she might sometimes fantasize about doing the deed with someone other than her partner though. like fish mooney, because have you SEEN fish mooney? charlie had.)

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

✖ SEXUALITY – heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual / omnisexual / demisexual

charlie is bi, without any actual preference for her partner’s gender. fate (me, it was me, it wasn’t fate) caused her to mostly end up getting intimate with guys - but her first partner was a girl, she’s very into fish mooney and selina kyle and she did once have a massive crush on lex luthor’s sister.

✖ SEX – sex repulsed / sex neutral /sex favorable

charlie LOVES sex - but only with the right person. she’s definitely not against talking about it with people she’s only platonically involved with, and has nothing against having others go at it in appropriate semi-public spaces, assuming it doesn’t go too far.

but yeah. she likes sex. it makes her feel good, plain and simple - and she likes the sense of connection between her and her partner, as well as feeling comfortably vulnerable and excited.

✖ ROMANCE – romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable

charlie really craves romance. she wants - needs - to both feel the butterflies in her stomach, and to be a source of someone else’s butterflies. she craves the casual intimacy, tender words, affectionate gestures... it’s all like water to her: an absolute necessity.

✖ SEXUALLY – sexually adventurous / sex experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious / uninterested

while she’s not actually very experienced - she has a lot of fantasies and ideas she’d love to try out one day. she’s also not averse to toys and porn; even if she tends to not watch a lot of porn, for various reasons.

(such as: various fundamental problems rooted in modern-day porn industry, like incessant violence, name-calling and really bad camera work.)

ABILITIES

✖ COMBAT SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

to be honest, she only knows Woman’s Self Defense 101: the heel-stomp, the deadly elbow, the nails.

oh, and she also knows how to stab people. and oz taught her to shoot.

✖ LITERACY SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

she has a master’s degree in english literature.

except we all know this doesn’t mean SHIT, since there are people with actual degrees claiming kylo ren is queer and femme coded out there, so: she’s actually damn good at reading and understanding things and picking up subtexts and nuanced aspects. her father was a college professor, remember? he was a good teacher, and she was a good student.

✖ ARTISTIC SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

she has, and i can’t emphasize this enough, negative artistic skills, both verbal and visual.

(”but she has a master’s degr-” have you ever read anyone’s master’s thesis? because i did.)

this is one of the core roots of her depressive thoughts also.

✖ TECHNICAL SKILLS – excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

give this girl a piece of paper and tell her to fold it in half and moments later the paper’s gonna be torn and on fire and she’s gonna be having a depressive meltdown.

she is... not very good at using her hands to make things happen. this is actually one of those few things her parents did wrong; they kind of overlooked this part of their kid’s development, and as a result - charlie is a clumsy mess.

and, by the gods, don’t give her a hammer. unless you really hate all of your kitchenware, that is.

[ambidextrousarcher]

KRPKAB Unpopular opinion: Dev Dixit Deserved Better

This is for you, @pratigyakrishnaki! My first KRPKAB related post, di! I know this is gonna get a lot of backlash, but here goes:

I recently started watching Kuch Rang Pyaar Ke Aise Bhi (KRPKAB), and frankly, I’ve fallen in love with the character of Devrath “Dev” Dixit. This post is basically a mishmash of all my Dev Dixit feels. One thing that I’ve noticed is that Dev gets a really bad rap in fandom. I really can’t understand why. I mean, yeah, Dev was not perfect, but, hey, no one is. Actually, according to most of the fandom, apparently Sonakshi is perfect. But I digress. I will get into my reasons later in this post. The first problem that Dev has is that he’s “emotionally weak”. What, I ask, is wrong with needing emotional support? Or just because Dev is a guy, he shouldn’t need it? Come on, Sonakshi also has plenty of moments where she needs emotional support, and someone or the other is always there for her, from Bejoy to Sourabh to Elena. That is not criticized. But, for once, there’s a man who needs emotional support and that’s wrong? He’s human, of course he’ll feel emotions. And, anyway, what happens when Dev is emotional? Either he keeps quiet, suppressing them, or he tells Sonakshi, who’s his only emotional support system. Because as far as his family, especially his mother is concerned, he’s the guy who shoulders all the responsibilities, who should take care of them. What about him? In the episodes of the arc leading to Sonakshi leaving Dev, even she’s not his emotional support anymore. Actually, as I see it, she stopped being that soon after their marriage, too engrossed in her own problems to notice Dev’s past trauma and help him through it, because, gosh, he was really put through the wringer as a child. He did the best he could, and he still gets flak for doing “injustice” to Neha. Injustice, that, I must say, was actually done by his mother. Dev was a kid then, struggling to help his mother to keep the family afloat. Even into his adulthood, he’s blackmailed emotionally by his mother over the “privileges” he got. There’s no one at this time to tell him that it’s not his fault. So he carries this guilt with him all these years. Yes, I accept that he had his fair share of mistakes, such as when he went stalker mode on Sonakshi. That was wrong. But the problem came after that was resolved. What happened? Sonakshi and Dev married. Cue culture clash. Dev gets a lot for not respecting Bengali culture, but he was actually trying to. It’s his family that messed everything up. And who gets the blame? Dev. By the way, what was Bejoy doing? He also should respect Dev’s culture, but that won’t happen. I can understand Sonakshi’s anger, but here’s my beef with her- She wants Dev to understand her, and says that she wants to understand him, but when push comes to shove, she doesn’t try to. If Sonakshi is angry, Dev usually apologizes, tries to make her feel better, but if Dev is angry? It’s Dev’s own fault! It’s Dev who usually ends up compromising. Another problem. Dev’s mother. Mrs. Ishwari Dixit. I used to love her at first, she got better in the end, but what the hell went wrong with her in the middle? She single-handedly ruined her son’s life, the son who accorded her the respect given to God! She was really possessive, and I can see what Sonakshi wanted to do here when she tells Dev to stop being mama’s boy, but, hey, I can’t see what’s wrong if you depend on your parents and vice versa. It wasn’t Dev ruining Ishwari’s life, it was the other way round. What’s wrong if a son loves his mother? I’ll tell you what. Absolutely nothing. As far as I can see, Dev was sandwiched between Sonakshi and Ishwari, both of whom wanted him to listen, neither prepared to listen to him. And then, the separation. Dev didn’t mean to hit Bejoy, it’s clear to see. But when he’s thrown out of the Bose House when he goes to apologize, he deserves it! The same happens when Ishwari falls. Sonakshi hadn’t meant it. But, considering what Dev had seen when he hit Bejoy by mistake, Dev’s reaction is natural. However, Dev tries to remedy his mistake. Sonakshi leaves. And everything is Dev’s fault anyway. Why? Because he genuinely wanted to help Saurabh and Sonakshi. He didn’t try to insult anyone. It was Radharani and Ishwari. He kept trying to handle the situation, Sonakshi knew the truth, but he got blamed anyway. Okay, I’ll accept that Vicky’s move of throwing the Bose family smoothly shifted the blame on an innocent Dev. I accept that Sonakshi was right in leaving him then. And I’ll give Sonakshi this. She handled Dev’s inevitable breakdown well during the wedding anniversary arc. But, Dev deserved to be told that he wasn’t all that guilty a long time ago. And he wasn’t told that. That’s why he started hating himself. And then the arc where Dev is getting remarried. She rejects him at least three times, and then goes and feels bad that he’s tying the knot with Nisha. Dev is honest with Sonakshi, says he loves her. Sonakshi knows she loves him, too, but is denying it till the end. I get that it might be natural, but I hated it. And then, once Sonakshi knows the truth about Vicky being the one to throw them out, neither does she inform Dev of the truth, nor Bejoy. Why? I don’t know. But, she should have, because come on, how much should an innocent man suffer? And then the bit where everybody is pissed at Dev for throwing Vicky out. Seriously? That guy tried to bankrupt Dev, to kill Dev, to break his married life into pieces, and you’re mad at DEV? Sonakshi’s blameless here, but what happened to the others? Cue Season 2. Hey, I get it, the dad should also be there for the kid, but isn’t parenthood a joint venture? Why reduce Dev into this stay at home guy who doesn’t have a life? Just why? This was the writers’ fault, and I get what they were trying to convey, but they could have as easily made Dev or Sonakshi, say, take care of the kids while working. Anyway, TLDR: Dev deserved way better, especially when it comes to his family. He deserved (everyone deserves) family that is actually supporting, not the sort of people who let him cry alone and heap responsibilities on his shoulders. And I know this is an unpopular opinion, but this is what I feel.

[uclaradio]

Latinx Punks’ Style Against Societal Norms

Article by Samantha Garduno

Photographs by Karina Jaramillo and Kelvin Cerezo

In the United States, white supremacist and patriarchal ideologies create societal norms causing a struggle for survival among marginalized youth. Latinx kids from Los Angeles are currently trying to create their own space in order to openly perform their identities and ideas in an oppressive society. The punk genre is a loud and fast-paced form of music that speaks about the failures of society. Classism, Sexism, and Racism are all issues that limit the growth of marginalized youth. This genre encourages rebellious youth movements against oppressive social norms and government institutions. The punk scene is a form of spatial entitlement and sonic space among Latinx youth trying to survive in Los Angeles. The rebellious aspect of the punk scene is shown through Latinx fashion; their style is considered as nonconforming. The dark “edgy” clothes worn by these youth is critical in giving the space meaning and allows the representation of Latinx punk identities. Conservative adults look down upon Punk Latinx groups because they look intimidating and problematic. However, interacting with these Latinx Punks and hearing their stories it reveals how empowered they are by claiming a space that is rarely inclusive towards their identity.

The aggression and rebellion that is seen through Latinx Punk style is a product of marginalized kids’ creation of subcultures in order to help them survive discrimination and racism. Their styles showcase empowerment and unity among Latinx youth. They are able to separate themselves from mass culture to seek their own individuality. In the following photos, I will present some images from the OC Punk Fest of Latinx youth embodying the punk culture. At the fest, I asked them to introduce themselves, share their identities, and why the punk subculture is important to them. After hearing their stories, I learned that these Latinx punks are visionaries and want to present themselves through their fashion, ideas, and music. They are making an impact in today’s society by being themselves.

Left to Right: Jagger Age 16, Sydney Mendez Age 16, Rodrigo Hernandez Age 15, Daisy Gonzales Age 16, Andrew Hernandez Age 17 (Shot by Karina Jaramillo)

Sidney Mendez: “My name is Sidney, I'm 16 years old. I live in Placita. I’m Latina and Columbiana. Punk is something that has been a part of my life because it runs in my family. My mom was in a band when she was younger and so she taught me basically everything she knows about punk music. It’s basically something that I’ve been listening to my whole life and never got over it.  Punk music is more than just listening and liking how it sounds, it makes me feel alive because of how my adrenaline rises. It’s a contest feeling of happiness for me and it brings me and my friends closer because we share the same interest in music.”

Left to Right: Aurora Zavala Age 20, Karina Perez Age 20, Leslie Mayorga Age 19 (Shot by Karina Jaramillo)

Aurora Zavala: “My name is Aurora Zavala I'm 20 years old I'm latina. The way I dress is inspired by some of my favorite musicians from the '80s and of course, I incorporate my own taste into it. It's important to me because I feel like it represents everything that I like.” Karina Perez: “Well hi my name is Karina Perez I’m 20 years I live in South Central Los Angeles. I’m Latina. Well for me it’s a representation of who I am what I like and it’s important to me because I’m representing the punk scene in some way since we are underrepresented and not really paid attention to an extent. It also represents us female since it’s very dominated by males and shows that females do exist in the punk scene that were out here changing the scene and representing it. And also it is a part of me and my style and who I am as a person.” Leslie Mayorga: “My name is Leslie Mayorga I’m 19 years old and I’m from Los Angeles, I identify as Hispanic. My style varies a lot it’s usually lots of black 80s-esqué garments like dresses, trousers, blazers, etc. I love jewelry too! I’ve made earrings and stuff like that. I feel like the reason I like to dress the way I do has a lot to do with how I express myself and want to physically project myself to others, a lot of times people stare at me and mad dog me and I know the reason for that is because of how I look (dress, hairstyle, makeup) and in a way making people angry or uncomfortable in that sense can be liberating because it’s obvious that if someone feels threatened it’s because they are looking at something they don’t know or even bother to understand/respect and I find it kinda funny and kinda sad how people can be so judgmental. Part of it too is that I just love putting outfits together and adding little details. Fashion and style can be very empowering.”

Far Right: Ramon Torres Age 19 (Shot by Karina Jaramillo) Ramon Torres: “Ramon Torres (19) Hispanic. My style is a mix of 90s grunge/punk/hipster style. It’s just a combination of all the things I enjoy listening to or things I find appealing to wear. Usually set myself apart from the general population that wears the new high-end brands while I just thrift most my stuff to save money and mix it up. My style is significant to me because it gives a satisfaction that I don’t look like everyone else and it gives me confidence. This is basically saying to everyone else “This is me, I dress weird and that’s okay.” I always had a sense of style, however, my current style was influenced by OC punk scene going on right now where punk is still seen as abnormal and crazy!”

Anai Mata, Age 19 wearing a distress Black Flag Police Story shirt and a cheetah print skirt (Shot by Karina Jaramillo) Anai Mata: “Anai Mata, age 19, born Chula Vista raised Moreno Valley, I am Mexican American, first language Spanish. My style has a lot of rock and roll roots, my dad was a metal head and I would see pictures of him; he'd talk about the music but in very little interest. When of course I was interested. He has the photo of him and his old friend and they're both in heavy leather jackets and hightop Nikes; I thought it looked badass. Anyway, music wise I started off listening to Rage Against the Machine when I was 5 years old and from there  I built up a style, you know. My first punk bands were The Adolescents, Conflict, The Casualties, The Clash, and Circle Jerks. I always thought about the punk scene/music was revolutionary. The style itself was fucking everyone off right and it was an outcast thing. That's goes with me. My parents didn't let me dress myself under up to 5th grade and I would dress casual. At the age of 12 through 15, I was making my own shit(jeans, cut shirts and shit like that). I started attending backyard shows at 13 because my brother had this band, so therefore I was exposed to the Moreno valley punk/ska/indie. It was all mixed in from what I remember. Throughout high school I had my docs and patches I shaved my hair into a tri-hawk and would wear it up every day. My dad has beat me up because of the way I would dress and stuff. It wasn't cool but it’s important because it shows the ones that want to see you "normal" or "una pinche niña adolescente" like it’s a big FUCK”

Nathan Salazar Age 15 (Shot by Kelvin Cerezo) Nathan Salazar: “My name is Nathan Salazar.  I am 15 years old and I’m from Long Beach, California. I am Hispanic and Guatemalan. My style isn’t exactly the same as everyone else; I like to dress in my own way where I feel comfortable. I like to paint my nails black and wear docs and tuck in my shirt with cut sleeves and wear a bandana around my leg. I paint my nails and wear the bandana because I hate the fashion now and everyone looks the same and it bugs me. I just try to do the opposite like painting my nails to show that I don’t care that “painting your nails is for females. ” The scene is important to me for many reasons. I’m glad punk rock is still thriving because if it weren’t I would be one bored mf but also it gives me a reason just to go out and be with people I can call my friends because we all feel the same about things and how we think people on the outside are. I’m thankful for the scene because how it brings us together in every way not just through feeling but through the love for punk rock and without the scene I don’t even think I’ll have my own band, The Neurotics, and it encourages me and my band just go hard every time we play because we can’t look sorry. I love the people in it yeah everyone’s not perfect but the people I’ve met I’m thankful for that people are really humble.”

[saskhal]

On Division

After moving from Mexico to the United States, Elena began to lose her children to the American culture. Her worst fear is that she will not be there for her children when they need her most, because she cannot learn English. Vamos a pedirle dulces a mama. Vamos.They no longer need her. Elena slowly becomes dumb. If she doesn’t lock herself in the bathroom with her English book every day, she will become deaf.

           I wasn’t sure if it was because times are changing, or if the world was always so blocked off. People protest and rally for freedom in a place that claimed to already have it. After the nation had its first black president our idea of freedom was still not fulfilled. People are still divided in as many ways as water can be shaped. There will always be people who cannot adapt. There will always be people who cannot hear more than one thing.

           My parents have been separated for most of my life. I have only two short memories of my mother and father together. After my dad got full custody of my sister and I, my mother would ask me the same thing. What did I do wrong? She said it for years. All throughout junior high and high school. What can I do? sorry mom. We’ve told you many times what you did. She would cry either right before we left or right when she picked us up from our dad’s. I felt awkward. Tight and strained. I wasn’t a human anymore. Instead I was outside the car looking down through the windows and sort of through the roof of the car.  I was look at myself as I stared at the floor waiting until my mother would stop crying. Eventually it would just be me in that car. My sister no longer has a relationship with our mother. My sister and mother also divided. She grew stronger than me, but she never learned to forgive.

           Middle earth has always been harsh and unforgiving. Different species, races, even families clash. The One Ring is pure evil, and holds the ultimate power. Mankind easily gave in and became servants of evil. Trapped with and evil that cannot die. The Ulairi are covered in all black robes. The hoods are thick and shape the head of nothingness.

           I opened the door to my Nazgul’s lair. The young adult smell no longer exists; instead there is sweat and marijuana. The shadows felt more awake, because of all the trash and bottle caps. The bedsheets were navy and mint. The air was like winter, but smelt like summer. A small clutter of medicine was in the corner. It was purchased last night says the receipt. The cough he didn’t have must still be bothering him I bet. He is lost forever now. Divided from his family and his consciousness. Lost all his power of will.

           Tucson unified school district, in Arizona, had once realized that 50% of their Mexican-American students dropped out of school. They attempted to fix this by implementing ethnic studies classes. There was a huge improvement, and about 90% of the students enrolled in these classes graduated high school. Imagine being a student, and no longer feeling like your school system was trying to get you to drop out. In ethnic studies, students learn about their culture and others. Teaching values that allow unity between different cultures and idea.            The statistics were showing that marijuana was good for people and their health. It was legal and seemed like everyone was smoking it, even if they were under aged. I never had a problem with it. I never smoked. I had responsible friends who were going to college and always had better grades than me who drank and smoked, so why would it be such a big deal? 

         My Nazgul has had issues growing up, but he was the only one with substance abuse problems. His younger brother was doing good in school and even took harder classes. I spent the night at my grandparents one night. I couldn’t sleep. The alarm clock read 3:13 in black letters with a slimy green glow. The light was bright enough to hurt my eyes after I lowered the blanket from shielding my eyes. I heard the basement door shut. I could hear my grandma’s chanclas smack against her feet as she walked outside. I looked out the window and thought the same thing as I always do, why is the sky so bright even in the middle of the night? It was summer. And I was afraid of lights, because I knew I wasn’t going to sleep. I need darkness in my life, so I can rest.

           The sun was hot on my way to school. I dressed accordingly. The cool air came in and caused a storm which brought rain and wind. I was soaked walking home. If it is nature for opposites to fight and cause destruction, then it makes sense for humans to do the same.

           During the industrial era, feudal Japan wanted to become a more civilized nation and become a strong and united nation like many western countries. The Japanese Empire fought against smaller territories. When one battle was won, the rest of the losing side would accept their defeat and kill themselves, but Tom Cruise kept fighting. Accepting defeat was not part of his American culture. He learned more about his opposition while in captivity. He was one of the last samurai. The Last Samurai holds the bridge somewhere. What can bring one side and connect it to the other? Whatever it is, war is part of it. 

         It was in the late 2000′s when I played hockey against the Canadians. Tacoma versus Vancouver. We fought hard for 90 minutes. The temperature was freezing for obvious reasons. But our bodies were creating so much friction that we couldn’t keep cool. I had sweat that stung my eyeball like salty peppers. I sat on the bench for the first time in 15 minutes of nonstop moving. I saw the twinkling white lights as everything started to dim. One streak of lighting across my eyes after another until finally it stopped, and the world became bright again. This was just a game, but sticks were still broken. Skates sliced the slippery ice. Whistles blown and cracked like a whip. We even hunched over after our stomachs where smashed by a big hit. All this was for fun, but we fought only because we were on different teams. We shook hands and said good game afterwards, but we never shake hands before we battle.

           Even my younger cousin started feeling the quake of my Nazgul’s dysfunction. The Nazgul isn’t a bad person, it’s just that he trapped himself in this disassociated state, and now my younger cousin has to live amongst the hate and separation within his household. My cousin is having a harder time in school now. He is physically sick because of mental stress. Our battles hurt everyone not just ourselves.

           The Tucson districts abolished its ethnic studies classes because it divided children by their race. In class they read books based off communism that had ideals written by dictators and fascists. The children were taught that the American history was filled with bloodshed and hatred of other cultures. The politicians who helped ban these classes never even attended a class. And the one time they did, they did not listen to the positive and look for every opportunity to bring it down. The film Precious Knowledge was released in 2011 to inform people about the struggle in Arizona, and how media can totally manipulate what is true. Many other school districts followed the message and make their own ethnic studies classes to help educate kids, and even made it a required class. However, it wasn’t until August 2017 that the law was deemed unconstitutional by the supreme court and the Tucson unified school district was free to hold ethnic studies courses. 

         My grandma saw it one way and one way only. Weed is a drug and drugs are bad. They are a terrible way to “have fun” and will lead to worse drugs. Alcohol is bad. For the Nazgul at least. He cannot handle it, and everyone can see. But maybe she was right. As of now she is right. Evil cannot die. He is forever a servant of the dark lord.

           He believes that everything is someone else’s fault. He is in jail because we won’t bail him out. He believes that he doesn’t have to pay if he steals. He believes that downing cough syrup won’t have a bad consequence. Maybe he should fight the people who keep giving him more chances to make bigger mistakes, because it’s their fault for letting him out of that cell.

           People will always have a different stand on a subject. The good thing about conformity and socialization is that there is less conflict when everything is the same. The bad thing is that those who are different are viewed as sickly and handicap. An open mind helps people stay free. An open mind helps people work together. The reason we teach art majors calculus is because math helps with problem solving. People need to adapt and build bridges and roads. The only divider would ideally be something that connects those two things together.            The Ethnic/ Raza students at Tucson high were dangerous to some people. Those people did not want Latinos to be educated. They wanted to keep using second grade students of color data to know how many prisons they’ll need in the future. What makes a person want to shut down a program meant for all ethnicities and for all students? Why would a person think that students graduating school and enjoying education was a bad thing? The division of power was being threatened. New ideas where not accepted because order keeps us alive. We do not know what will happen if there is change.

           I learned that I cannot expect anything to change unless I was willing to lose something. I did not know what was going to happen to me when I started working at panda express. I could have worked at a company where I got money and never built any relationships with anyone and played the game safe. Instead I gave up my comfort and I was placed a workspace with people who cared about me. I gained confidence and could speak. I will volunteer to speak with younger people and hopefully they will be better than me. I can become a leader now. 

         I have been to a counselor before. The first few times it was required by law, because of my parents. The next time was because I wanted to. I wish I was diagnosed with something just so I had an excuse for being how I am, but I was never tested or went in for something like that. I looked up my problems on my own. I am not what people call antisocial, because that would mean I have no morals and I act against society and its laws. I am not avoidant because I do not like to be in my room by myself. I prefer to be with others, although I do act awkwardly at times and fear rejection. Maybe I just have rubatosis. I can always feel my heart. I ask around and everyone says they feel their heart too and it’s normal. But they don’t know what i’s like I’m sure.   

Jackson, P. (Director). (2001). The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.

 Mora, P. (1985). Elena.

 Palos, A. (Director). (2011). Precious Knowledge.

 Thorne, Craig R., and Richard R. DeBlassie. "Adolescent substance abuse." Adolescence 20.78 (1985): 335.

             Swartz, Marvin S., et al. "Violence and severe mental illness: the effects of substance abuse and nonadherence to medication." American journal of psychiatry 155.2 (1998): 226-231.

             Zwick, E. (Director). (2003). The Last Samurai. Warner Bros.

[texastheband]

The Best Little Sex Bomb In Texas

Interview by Miranda Sawyer, Photography by Wayne Maser Taken from British GQ - January 2004

There are many reasons to like Sharleen Spiteri. She's broken her nose four times. She once painted a mural of Che Guevara that covered her dad's garage wall. She understands that sexiness is more than "tits and arse. Well, straightforward tits and arse, anyway". She owns the original Blondie Parallel Lines mini-dress, given to her personally by Debbie Harry. She has a voice that can sound as heartworn as Dusty Springfield, as bed-borne as Chrissie Hynde. Her favourite term of abuse is "complete fanny". And, unlike most women, she looks fab in mens clothing. Actually, she's the type of insouciant beauty that would look good in a black sack; which is lucky, as that's what she appears to be wearing. We're in J Sheekey's restaurant in Covent Garden. Sharleen's just come from Top Of The Pops, where she and her band, Texas, performed their recent single, "Carnival Girl", with Ragga MC, Kardinal Offishall. She's still wearing her telly outfit: a black all-in-one, though she's swapped her take-your-eye-out stilettos for take-your-knee-out bower boots. Her hair is blunt-cut and tickles her eyelashes. She is small, dark-eyed, full-mouthed, French-looking; sultry, like her photos, but not sulky. In fact, Sharleen doesn’t stop chatting, in her throaty Glaswegian tones, about any topic you care to bring up: films, food, fashion, stripping... There's been a suggestion that she and I, as thirtysomething bonnes viveuses, would like to spend the evening in a strip club. But the only one that Sharleen will even consider checking out is a hardcore gay men's kit-off night in a notorious East End pub.

"You'll not drag me to any of that Spearmint-Rhino-Peter-Stringfellow naff old rubbish," she roars. "We'll go to Amateur Night at the White Swan. There's £1.ooo for the best act!" She announces this to me, but also to the J Sheekey waiting staff too, who clearly know and like her. "You'd better tell me all about it," says one to her, conspiratorially. "I want size, technique, all the details..." Sharleen is good at making friends: whether stars (Madonna, Stella, Gwyneth), or us lesser mortals. She's fearless, unsnobbish company, with a lewd anecdote or two up her sack-sleeve, and, unlike many famous people, she knows how to listen. She'd have made a great hairdresser. "I was a great hairdresser!" she laughs. "My tips were wicked! And people told me everything - I got loads of scandal, stuff about wife-swapping circles. But what I was really known for was when people brought in pictures of celebrities and said, 'That's the way I want my hair'. I'd put my hand over the celebrity's face and say, 'Is that really what you want? Cos we don't do faces in here, we just do hair."' She tells it like it is, does Shar. Ask her whether Texas is a democracy, and she says: "No way. Texas is me and Johnny (McElhone). The band formed around that, we write the songs together and the rest of the band either gets that or gets out. And they're totally fine with me getting all the attention. They're happy getting the money and none of the grief." The tuneful pop-rock band that is Texas formed in Glasgow in 1986, when 18-year-old Sharleen, a hairdresser and art student, met Johnny McElhone. Johnny, then 23, had played bass in Altered Images (he joined when he was just 15: his parents had to sign his contract for him), and later, in Hipsway. On a whim he asked Sharleen if she wanted to sing for a new band he was putting together. The audition was arranged, "but I never turned up", says Shar. "I thought he was sleazing me." Luckily, Johnny, who wasn't, called again. This time Sharleen went along, sang Culture Club's "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me", and Texas were formed. The first song Johnny and Sharleen wrote together was "I Don't Want A Lover". In between spoonfulls of potted shrimp, Sharleen explains that she'd never thought of herself as a singer, because every Spiteri sang. Her father's family is Italian, her mother's French, and at reunions, every family member would have to perform a song, wether they wanted to or not. "But I never got attention, because my cousins did the crowd-pleasers", she sniffs. "Never a dry eye in the house when they sang." Sharleen didn't approve of such obvious tactics, and when Texas got a record contract, she was prickly with it, insisting on always being pictured with a member of the band or with her guitar, never being interviewed separately, dressing mannishly, not smiling. Her idols were Chrissie Hynde, Patti Smith, Siouxsie Sioux. It was the late Eighties. She was Scottish. She was serious. In 1989, "I Don't Want A Lover" went Top ten in the UK, and Texas' first LP Southside, sold 1.3m copies. But the two follow-ups, Mothers Heaven and Ricks Road, didn't do so well, and around 1995, the band went into crisis mode. "We were nothing in Britain," says Sharleen, "but, because we were successful everywhere else, the record company were tiptoe-ing round us. I knew I wasnae important: I felt like screaming, 'Stop wrapping me in cotton wool!' Also, in Glasgow, everyone knew us, we were big fish in a small pond. I'd rather be a small fish in a big pond. The whole atmosphere was making me claustrophobic. So I moved to Paris." Paris proved "un tonique" for our Texan trouper. Sharleen wrote "Say What You Want" on a Paris rooftop, drinking a large glass of red wine. She met fashion journalist Ashley Heath, her partner, at a party. (They bonded over an argument about music.) Being away from home, and being able cope with that, boosted her confidence. Though you wouldn't think it now, Sharleen was "very, very, quiet" at school: not quite the ugly mate, but the one that boys approached, not to ask out, but to ask if her friend would go out with them. "The whole time I just thought, `What the fuck am I doing here?"' She left at 15: she has no contact with any former classmates. Anyway, in 1996, the Shiny! Sexy! New! Texas appeared, with Sharleen very much to the fore. For the first time, she had the self-assurance to use her languidly erotic looks. In videos, she rolled around in sea shallows, and made fully-clothed love to some lucky model. In pictures, she pulled at her hair and bit her lip. She was incredible sexy, but not straightforwardly so; what she was, was cool. It irritates Sharleen when people think that this was somehow acquired illegally: that her chic was painted on late, without serving her dues, manipulated by the boyfriend or her record company. As she points out, she found her feet first in fashion and art, and her hairdressing skills took her on shoots around the world. Sharleen does have that fashion instinct: she loves seeking out new designers and musicians, collaborating with them before they get too well-known. "But everyone gets to know about them in no time at all now!" she laughs. "You know, there is no story behind how I got cool. Of course I'm trying to be cool. Everyone is. And I always was cool: at least I thought so. Even in 1989, when I was wearing a biker jacket and jeans, trying to be more androgynous than everybody else, referencing the Clash, I thought I was dead, dead trendy. I did it myself. I didnt even have a stylist until [the band's fifth album] The Hush."

And of course, she could have done Miss Wet T-shirt until she dissolved and it wouldn't have made any difference if Texas hadn't come up with the songs. But they did: White On Blonde was a Number One, four-million-selling smash, that produced four Top Ten singles ("Say What You Want", "Halo", "Black Eyed Boy" and "Put Your Arms Around Me") and earned Sharleen and Johnny an Ivor Novello Award for Outstanding Song Collection. The band's next two LPs, The Hush (1999), and The Greatest Hits (2000), also stormed the charts. Texas have now sold 20m records worldwide. Weirdly, though, it wasn't until 2001, when the band took another break, that Sharleen truly came to mainstream attention. Over the last few years, Sharleen Spiteri has moved from being the hip bird out of Texas to becoming Heat fodder. Blame that heady contemporary combination of famous friends, and getting pregnant. Still, the interest took her by surprise. "You expect to have your photo taken if you're at a fashion show, or coming out of a posh restaurant," she says. ": when you're struggling with your shopping, looking like a whale? Cheers. Being pregnant is really the best time to be papped, you know." She's squared up to paparazzi in the past, slamming her car into reverse and almost driving into a following photographer, then getting out and ranting at him through the window. "The whole time I was having a go, he and his mate wouldn't look at me, they just looked straight ahead. The before he drove off, he said, `See that car on the other side of the road? He's following you too."' Still, she managed to avoid an embarrassing picture when, at eight months pregnant, she locked herself out of her house near Regent' Park and had to hoik herself and her bags over the iron gates: "Now, that really would have been a horrendous sight." One shot that everyone did see was of Sharleen's friend, Arsenal's Thierry Henry. On 10 September 2002, the day after Sharleen's daughter, Misty Kid, was born, Arsenal played Manchester City; Henry scored the winner and ripped off his shirt to reveal a slogan that read, "For the new born Kid". "That could have cost TT 30 grand," grins Sharpen. Luckily they decided not to fine him." "TT" often pops over for a chat. Does Sharpen ever feel weird when famous people come round? Only once," she muses, "when Debbie Harry came over, and was sitting in my kitchen eating dinner, being so nice. She was such an idol of mine when I was young. But otherwise, it's only when it freaks someone else out. I don't divide my friends into celebrities and non-celebrities, don't think like that. So they mix up in my house, and it's only when a friend phones up the next day and goes, `That was some evening!' that I think about it."

Still, I think it's important to Sharleen to be accepted by credible famous people, because she's spent so long having her band dismissed by snotty critics. Despite her own hipster kudos, despite the band's collaborations with the Wu-Tang Clan, Rae and Christian, and now Kardinal Offishall, Texas' music has often been labelled "safe", or naff". Having TT and Debbie et al onside shows that she is cool and that, allied with her immense songwriting success, means she can cheerfully say, "Sod the lot of you". The girl is fashion-conscious, she wants respect: you can't blame her. Anyhow, celebrity fact alert! Coldplay's frontman Chris Martin now lives in Sharleen's old flat: "We call it the House of Hits," she grins. And there are more of those coming: Texas' latest album, Careful What You Wish For, is Peppered with potential hits that play to the band's proven strengths: catchy, dreamy tunes, evocative guitars and Sharleen's gorgeous voice. The new single, "I'll See It Through", has all this in spades, and sounds like Dusty Springfield singing Burt Bacharach. But there are plenty of other singles there: "Telephone X", a Blondie-style stomp; "And I Dream", which recalls the exuberance of Madonna's "Ray Of Light"; the title track, a hand-clapping singalong. After 16 years in the business, it's obvious that the girl knows what she's doing. Unfortunately, after three hours at Sheekey's, I'm not sure that I do. The wine has gone down very easily, the conversation hasn't stopped. We've discussed DIY - Sharleen's great at it, especially shelves; underwear - "I am very particular about my knickers"; scars - Sharleen has five: forehead, hand, left eye, both knees; the hyperactivity of parents - her retired merchant seaman father does the lights for Texas' live show; the madness of boyfriends - Heath initially told his mum and dad that Sharpen worked in Glasgow Airport, but forgot to tell her: "I couldn't work out why his mum kept asking me about Duty Free." Misty Kid gets a few mentions: she's a climber, like her mum; stubborn, like both her parents. We spend quite some time talking about song-writing. Sharleen starts a new notebook for each Texas album and fills it with ideas and lyrics. Sometimes she only needs one, sometimes three. Careful What You Wish For was a two-notebook LP. She has no formula for writing, and she'll always sacrifice a word for a melody.

But, well, bollocks to such serious talk! It's stripper-time! Off we go in search of a place where pecs are expected and the knackers hang free. The White Swan is legendary as being the place where Michael Barrymore came out; it's an old-school gay man's pub, rather than a metrosexual bar. Its Amateur Night has gained a bit of a reputation recently, as a night of laughter and never forgetting. We pull up outside and skip to the door. There's a sign that says "Men Only Tonight", but we are undeterred; after all, Sharleen is a "dykon'' in a boiler suit, and my shoes are certainly sensible. But a big, bald man stops us at entry. "No women," he says, shortly. Sharpen argues; her female friends have been in before. No luck. We try chatting up some arriving punters, to no avail. Sharleen doesn't resort to "do you know who I am?", but you'd think they would: she played the London Astoria's self-explanatory G-A-Y a week-and-a-half ago, and was recently featured in gay magazine Boyz. She tries again. The big, bald man says bigly, baldly: "Go away." Curses! Thwarted. "Goes to show that you can be as famous as you like and it's not a passport to everywhere," shrugs Sharpen. "Shall we go back to mine? I'll get my boyfriend to strip." We do; he, thankfully, doesn't. And, chat-chat-chatting in her big comfy kitchen, the plasma screen playing MTV with the sound down, Misty's toys strewn across the floor, you understand why Sharpen attracts cool people. It's hardly sensational but, the simple facts are: Sharpen Spiteri is talented, hilarious, and the sexiest night out you can have when everyone keeps their clothes on.

[ultimatenomi]

The thing with The Fosters... is I was so ready to watch it and love it because of my own upbringing- 

I am the product of an interracial marriage in which my parents separated when I was about 7 years old- me and my older brother are both mixed race, half English-caucasian and half Hong Kong Chinese. My younger brother, whom we adopted in Hong Kong, after fostering him for a time, is fully ethnically Chinese and is developmentally and physically disabled. 

After my older brother had moved out to go to university when I was 16 we started fostering again- and we have done our best to provide a loving home for the kids in our care- who have since gone on to permanent homes (we provide emergency/short term foster care)

In addition I have my own ties to the LGBTQIA+ community, which again, I’ll not go into in this post.

So when I saw The Fosters staring back at me from my Netflix Menu- I was just ready to love it- So much media paints all foster carers as abusive and neglectful, that to see a family that made mistakes, but who weren’t horribly abusive was a breath of fresh air. 

To see a family of people with different backgrounds was wonderful. 

To see Mariana and Jesus being raised by parents who didn’t have the same cultural background as them- and who struggled with clashes in their own cultural identities as a result hit close to home for me as a girl who has always felt removed from my Chinese heritage because of the fact that I have been raised by a white woman in England, away from my Chinese roots. (side note- I would be interested to see a character with similar struggles who doesn’t speak the language of one or more of their cultural heritage- because that’s another thing I’ve always struggled with, which Mariana and Jesus haven’t had to- being able to speak Spanish) 

But lately the show hasn’t been landing with me in the same way- theres a bitter taste when I see the ableist way in which the family is behaving towards Jesus. And that feeling only gets worse when I see the way some fans are talking about the characters (teenagers, who are learning and making mistakes because they are teenagers.) and particularly about Jesus. His worth does not diminish because he has a TBI. His worth does not diminish because he doesn’t fit into the mould you think he should adhere to. 

And if it’s making me feel ill, I don’t even want to think how it makes the fans of the show who are disabled feel. 

And I know I have been raised alongside people with disabilities, and I do relate to a heck of a lot- but I can’t help but think that you shouldn’t have had to have had the same upbringing- you shouldn’t have had to have a personal link in order to empathise with these characters- and thats another thing: not pity, empathise with. 

I have slightly forgotten how I was going to finish this post. But I think these are definitely conversations that need to be had. 

Also- I would like to note: I have no desire to speak over, or on behalf of any fans who have disabilities. I am only an ally, and if any of this is stepping over any lines I will be more than happy to take it down.

[alejandrabookthoughts-blog]

Book Review # 22 The Night Dairy

Image 

The Night Diary by Veera Hiranandani

Introduction

The Night Diary is about the journey of twelve-year-old Nisha, who is living through the historic event of India becoming free of British rule. Though despite this newfound freedom, Nisha finds out her country is wishing to split into two countries. India is to become two separate states where one side the Muslims will live, and the other side is for the Hindus. Told through an honest voice, Nisha tells her story in the form of diary entries that are written to her mother. This tale of hardship is told in a very honest tone, with wonderful developed characters, while adhering to many cultural aspects of the setting.

Evaluation:

Throughout the book, there is never a doubt of the setting of this book. The author’s work reflects the dedication and time put into researching the culture and country. All the little details interwoven into the story make it seem much more realistic. Preparing dinner is always a rich description of the spices used in Indian cooking. All the dishes and ingredients are particular to the culture and country. “The rice, the dal, the chapatis exploded with flavor. I could taste the rich ghee, each grain of rice, each speck of cumin, the tang of ginger, garlic, onion, “(p. 183). Other instances that wrap the reader in the culture and setting of this novel is the jewelry and clothing described in the book. It is all weaved into the story with naturalness that doesn’t feel out of place. There are books that try to inform the reader about these aspects of cultures, but it doesn’t feel like it’s part of the story. Hiranandani does a wonderful job of avoiding that pitfall.

The voice of the story is very honest, it reflects the voice of a young child who view of the world is changing. Nisha begins as an innocent child who happily describes the gifts she receives for her birthday, talks to her mother about wishing to become friends with other girls, about her brother and their adventures. “I like turning twelve so much already. It’s the biggest number I’ve ever been, but it’s an easy number—easy to say, easy to count, easy to split in half,” (p. 1). As one progresses through the story, the themes in Nisha’s journal entries become heavier and more introspective. The events she’s experiencing making her question previous beliefs and assumptions she once held. This passage, even Nisha admits to herself that she is changing: “It has changed me. I used to think people were mostly good, but now I wonder if anyone could be a murderer, “(p. 238). It’s a good example that traumatic events impact everyone. It changes the young and old in different and similar ways. This story definitely captures the voice of a child struggling to make sense of changing world.

Lastly the characters of this novel are so wonderful in their creation, full of depth and flaws. Each of the main characters Nisha mentions all have their own stories that are captured in her diary entries. Nisha and her brother are different like night a day, despite being twins. She is the introverted one, who enjoys going to school and keeping to herself. Meanwhile her brother is outgoing, a restless spirit that cannot keep still. In the story Nisha’s remarks about his struggles in school point to that he suffers from a learning disability: “He says letters to him are like bugs and grass waving in the wind. They are not flat. They move and change in his mind. He says he writes what he sees in the moment,” (p. 47). In the story her father doesn’t understand that his son struggles because of this learning disability.  Her father is a man that is carrying a lot and doesn’t always handles the situations with his children in the best manner. Though it shows that not all parents are perfect, they make mistakes. They don’t know everything like children assume, and they are always learning just like their kids. Sometimes that learning process pushes them to make mistakes and wrong assumptions. The rich characters of this story create a connection with reader, pushes the reader to keep reading to see how where they will end up at the end.

Response:

I enjoyed this book. It is a piece of fiction that touches on a lot of important themes that resonate with readers. It touches on the bonds of family, learning disabilities and the negative stigma associated with them, cultural clashes and the violence it creates. A lot of these are topics that still very relevant in today’s world. The author presented these topics in a manner that still made it feel like a story rather than a lecture or classroom lesson. I’m not too familiar with the history of India and the struggles it’s gone through. This book however helped me become more curious about it. I think that is a great response for a historical fiction novel. This book is one I would recommend to readers with full confidence. There are many powerful quotes in the book that have one pause and think. One I really liked was this one: “All that suffering, all that death, for nothing. I will never understand, as long as I live, how a country could change overnight from only a line drawn,” (p. 250). The whole quote is so powerful because the violence that occurs in this world, can sometimes be whittled down these little details that just leave people wondering. How did this little detail or event create this chaos?

Conclusion

This book receives my full support. It is a great work that touches on many important ideas and themes. The characters are rich and deep. The voice of the novel is honest and dynamic, but also simple that it is not difficult to understand. Lastly the setting of the novel is written with authenticity that makes it all the more realistic and plausible.

Reference

Hiranandani, Veera. (2018). The night diary.New York, NY: Kokila.

Kelly, J. (2018, March 06). Front cover of the night diary. [digital image]. Retrieved from https://www.amazon.com/Night-Diary-Veera-Hiranandani/dp/0735228515

[mrmichaelchadler]

A Life-Changing Adventure: On the Finale of FX's The Americans

Let’s say you had to leave home.

You have to leave for a great job, one that would ostensibly bring pride to your family and fellow countrymen. You might not see them for a long time. You might not see them ever again. Before you leave, you get married to someone you barely know. It’s a marriage of convenience, but nevertheless, it’s a partner, someone with whom to share your professional and personal anxieties. Much later, long after you’ve traveled halfway across the world and entered an unfamiliar society, the convenience falls away and something resembling love takes over. After all, they stood by your side, and they know where you came from.

You establish roots, maybe in a suburb surrounded by strange people who you hardly trust. You have two kids who never knew the struggles you faced way back when in a far-away country. You love them, but you worry that they’ll grow up with values you don’t share, let alone recognize. Meanwhile, the job that you once loved has slowly become a grind, and has turned you into someone you don’t even know. The kids grow up. Parental concerns enter the foreground. You grow distant from your partner, as you quarrel over how best to instill the children with the beliefs and principles you ostensibly hold dear, many of which go against the established cultural fabric of this new land. You privately worry that they’ll never understand you.

You reminisce about home, but you realize that you don’t really remember it. After all, you were young when you left and most of the ties have been cut. You accept that this is your new home. Maybe you make some friends and take up a hobby. Maybe you settle into a comfortable rhythm. On the other hand, your partner harbors doubts, and secretly longs for a time when the kids are grown and you both can return to the land of your people. Maybe you don’t want to go back. Maybe you like it here.

But as much as you like it, and as hard as you try, you know that you’ll never be one of them. As long as you can’t reconcile the culture you were born into with the culture you adopted, your identity will forever be adrift, and you’ll always wonder who you really are.

This is a classic immigrant story. This is a classic American story. This is "The Americans'" story.

"The Americans," Joe Weisberg and Joel Fields’ Reagan-era spy drama that completed its six-season run last week, will likely go down in television history as one of the definitive shows about marriage. Weisberg and Fields effectively used espionage as a metaphor for casual deception in relationships, leveraging the series’ depiction of tradecraft to examine how people frequently lie and betray those they love, often without realizing it. It’s a potent idea with far-reaching implications, which Weisberg and Fields extended to parenthood, institutional bureaucracy (the FBI, the KGB, the Russian embassy, etc.), and, befitting the series’ premise, international relations.

However, Weisberg and Fields wove another thread into "The Americans'" narrative, one that flew under the radar but nevertheless permeated almost every aspect of the series: the story of first-generation immigrants navigating American waters while struggling to maintain their connection to their original culture. The series used Philip and Elizabeth Jennings (Matthew Rhys and Keri Russell), KGB officers posing as a traditional American couple, as vessels to explore issues of acculturation, specifically how different worldviews can foment through shared experiences living under a dominant culture.

Elizabeth functions as a reluctant integrator, someone who adopts American cultural norms but only because she’s required in order to maintain her cover. She resents American life, not only because of her political obligations, but also because her communist upbringing stands in sharp opposition to the United States’ materialistic, staunchly capitalist society. Elizabeth grew up in poverty in the aftermath of the Second World War; she never knew her father, who fought in the War and was shot for trying to desert his post, and was raised by her strict mother, who longed for her daughter to serve her motherland. Recruited by the KGB as a teenager in the midst of the Cold War, Elizabeth was taught to infiltrate America to aid her home country, superficially accepting their values, but never allowing them to enter her heart.

Before their daughter Paige (Holly Taylor) learns the truth about her parents, Elizabeth would subtly undercut American teachings so as to guide her children to her way of life. As early as the pilot, she mocked Paige’s social studies’ professor’s cleft lip after her daughter explains she’s writing a paper about how the Russian government cheats on arms control. When their son Henry (Keidrich Sellati) learns about the Americans’ space program, Elizabeth insists that, “the moon isn’t everything” and that “just getting into space is a remarkable achievement,” alluding to Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Alekseyevich Gagarin’s achievement of being the first human being to travel into space. When Philip insists that she can’t stand watching their kids become American, she snarls at him, “I’m not finished with them yet.”

Her mission was always a lost cause for Henry, a child neglected by his parents and raised by pop culture and, ironically, FBI agent Stan Beeman (Noah Emmerich), a surrogate father figure who largely failed his biological son, Matthew (Daniel Flaherty). But Elizabeth ultimately made inroads with Paige by capitalizing on, and eventually manipulating, her activist heart, which, ironically once again, blossomed during her time in the church. Paige’s initially distressed attitude towards her parents’ occupation eventually morphed into a genuine interest in becoming a Soviet sleeper agent, a baldly obvious attempt to become closer to her family. Yet, in the final season, when Paige officially becomes a spy-in-training, she eventually clashes with her mother over her continued deception and, especially, her emotional manipulation of innocent lives. She might understand and agree with the ideological underpinnings of her mother’s work, but she can’t stomach the ends-justify-the-means behavior it demands. A true believer, Elizabeth swallows almost everything the KGB tells her because she lives for a purpose greater than herself. Paige wants to live like that, but she still retains an individualist mindset typical of second-generation Americans.

Meanwhile, Philip is a not-so-reluctant assimilator, someone who gladly assumes American cultural norms despite his treasonous profession. In the pilot, after he and Elizabeth learn that Stan Beeman has moved across the street, he quickly suggests defection as a possible option for their family. When Elizabeth balks, he finally comes out and says what he’s clearly believed for a long time: “America is not so bad. We've been here a long time. What’s so bad about it?” It neatly encapsulates Philip’s internal conflict as well as a classic immigrant dilemma: Will you lose your original culture by embracing the adopted culture? For Elizabeth, this is unthinkable, but for Philip, whose doubts about their mission and his distaste for KGB tactics grows over the course of the series, it might save his life.

Philip’s reliance on uniquely American ventures to help him with daily life cleanly separates him from Elizabeth. He regularly attends EST meetings, a self-help group seminar that teaches him how to face his repressed memories and to openly discuss his emotions. Though Elizabeth objects to EST, especially after she finally attends a meeting and sees it as a profit-hungry trap, Philip uses the cheesy, confrontational therapy sessions as a way to cope with, and later reject, the emotional, physical, and sexual violence inherent in his job. Elizabeth relies on her idealism and Soviet principles to help with the nasty sides of the job, but Philip isn’t able to put his faith in the USSR quite so easily.

Still, Philip expresses skepticism and distrust towards certain aspects of America, many of which are holdover attitudes from his Russian upbringing. He blows a gasket when Paige donates the $600 she was saving to go to Europe to missionary work, and while he was set off by Paige’s disrespect, he takes it out on her religion by literally ripping pages from her Bible and throwing it across the room. When Henry asks his parents to allow him to attend an elite boarding school, Philip expresses a level of disdain towards his yuppie aspirations (“It's like an Ivy League college. It's like a country club. It's like a fancy orphanage.”), especially when Henry explains how his rich friend’s father wrote a recommendation letter for him. In the final season, after Philip has quit the service and become a full-time travel agent, he struggles to maintain his business after taking out an expansion loan. Over drinks with Stan, he indirectly expresses dissatisfaction with the capitalist pressure for growth. “When you think about it, what is so bad about staying the same?” he asks. “Not taking on more responsibilities, more headaches, more time. Bills keep coming either way.”

Philip’s ability to fit into American life causes numerous rifts in his marriage. Elizabeth initially claims he’s not committed to their cause and reports her suspicions to the KGB, but her love for Philip eventually pushes her to later denounce them. While the emotional distance between them fluctuates over the course of the series, their contrasting worldviews remains stark until the bitter end.  

Elizabeth views America as an unwelcome place where they must reside to do their work. It’s the home of the enemy, and everyone there is a product of a belief system that runs counter to her way of life. For Philip, America represents a possible chance at a new beginning, a potential home that can contain his family and his aspirations, and an escape from an old life he’s not sure he still understands.

In the end, Philip and Elizabeth are both made to flee back to their homeland. They abandon Henry, who’s now forced to emotionally fend for himself in a country that will be hostile towards him because of his parents’ actions. Paige abandons her parents on their way out of the United States after realizing that a spy’s life is comprised of moral compromises she’s unwilling to make. She returns to a familiar location, but unsure of how or where to proceed. The couple barely escapes with their lives, and it’s only with the assistance of former KGB Rezident Arkady Ivanovich (Lev Gorn) that they can sneak their way back into Moscow.

Yet, when they finally arrive, and they look out at the marvelous city lights from a bridge, they can barely recognize their country. After all, they left Russia when it was still ravaged by the War. Now, over twenty years later, some modernization has slowly crept into the country. The youth clamor for Western culture. A Pizza Hut and a McDonalds are on their way. The Soviet Union will soon dissolve and the war they fought will be over. In perfectly ironic fashion, Philip and Elizabeth are now effectively immigrants in their own land. The place they once called home has now become unfamiliar. It doesn’t represent a fresh start, but it’s the closest thing to a new beginning.

“Feels strange,” Philip tells Elizabeth.

“We’ll get used to it,” she responds in Russian.

Is there a better exchange that captures the mixture of trepidation and courage one feels when about to embark on a life-changing adventure? The answer is nyet.

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