#is he talking about michael meyers?

[salingers]

october's end.

dbf!joel miller x f!reader summary: a filthy halloween night with your dad's best friend, joel miller. [you get him to briefly wear a ghostface mask]. [enjoy that! i did]. warnings: 18+ mdni. age gap. alcohol. au. begging. cream pie. dirty talk. dom!joel. fingering. jealous!joel. language. masked!joel. no outbreak. no use of 'y/n'. praising. smut. use of 'good girl'. use of 'slut'. unprotected piv. word count: [about] 3,800. a/n: hi! debut, written for @mermaidgirl30's halloween writing challenge. cover by me, divider by @saradika. @saradika-graphics.

Everything’s bigger in Texas, including Halloween. Your childhood neighborhood is locally televised each October’s end, due to every home’s enthusiastic participation. There’s an annual stoppage of traffic for the singular evening’s festivities, permitting only costumed bodies to roam the gated community’s residential roads. 

Branches draped in gauzy webs. Yards engulfed in artificial fog. A beloved holiday tradition, predating the tailend of the seventies, when Dad and Joel were elementary aged and wielding pillowcases of candies. Now, they’re fifty-somethings, bemoaning mutual back pain and cursing pesky lawn decorations.

“Here,” Joel gruffs, while individually sliding Dad two Reese’s pumpkins, from across the kitchen’s counter. “Protein break. ‘S four grams.”

Dad swipes them both up, before confirming that statement by thumbing one’s wrapper, “That ain’t bad.”

You’re quietly laughing at their supposed refueling, while stooping behind the fridge’s door and scanning the moistened shelves. There. A seasonal beer, from your favorite brewery in Austin. It’s comfortably predictable, returning home for Halloween; From Dad purchasing your favorite autumnal ales, to Joel Miller’s ruggedness.

You properly right yourself. Then, using your waist, nudge the appliance’s door shut, “Dad, where’s your bottle opener?”

Dad’s phone abruptly drones, reverberating against granite and interrupting your question; He grimaces at the caller’s illuminated identity.

You guess, “Ghostface?”

Dad laughs, before emphasizing, “Worse. My neediest client.” He abandons his barstool, continuing, “Actin’ like buildin’ up in Waco makes ‘er Joanna Gaines.” Dad apologetically nods toward you, “Joel. Will ‘ya?”

Joel’s scruffy chin tips upwards, directing you, “C’mere.”

Something’s brewing, once Dad vacates the vicinity. Your forced proximity to Joel is newly palpable; Tonight’s different. You’re obedient, in approaching him. Joel doesn’t stop staring. The bottle’s neck is being strangled, under your dominant hand. You can’t completely ward off an image of taking him into your palm.

Your minimal passage to his barstool seemed slow-motioned, almost. You’re not sure. Time’s just apparently lengthier, under Joel’s browned gaze.

 Joel grunts, fingering his carabiner of keys, attempting to sift out his bottle opener keychain, “You playin’ Michael Meyers, ‘gain? ‘Round one night, only?”

You amusedly scoff, “Keepin’ track?”

Joel shrugs, “Eight days, in eight years.”

You’re genuinely surprised that Joel’s noted your absence. Maybe, Dad revealed that specific number, correlating to your sparse appearances in Austin; Well, it could’ve been that Dad mentioned to Joel about how since your high school’s graduation, you’ve only managed to visit home yearly. That’s just basic math. Right?

You stammer, “Uh huh. ‘S my favorite holiday.”

Joel hums, before abruptly wrapping his calloused palm around the entirety of your hand and the beer bottle’s width, “Hm. ‘N that your favorite beer?”

You’re momentarily silent, muted by Joel’s warmth. A sizable hand, roughened from decades of hard labor. The tips of his delectably thick fingers begin tightening at your wrist, securing his hold as he’s standing himself up.

Even fully seated, Joel’s intimidating in size. Him standing toe-to-toe with you? That’s another story. His construction boots are weathered and worn; They would be comically large, in comparison to your measly-sized sneakers, but nothing’s funny about Joel Miller’s body mere inches from yours.

You reply by mustering an eager nod; And, whether that’s in response to Joel’s prior question pertaining your liking of the beer, or merely an approval of his nearness to you? You haven’t decided.

Joel rasps, “Anythin’ else?” He’s pulling your combined hands downward, to his waist. The carabiner’s remained attached to his belt’s loop, “That ‘ya favor?”

You’re struggling to think of something witty to retort. Because, the frayed seam of Joel’s zipper is right there. He’s deftly notching the bottle’s cap inside of the opener’s teeth; The beer crisply hisses, releasing any contained pressure.

Joel whispers, “What, darlin’? Bat got your tongue?”

You defeatedly laugh, “Somethin’ like that.”

He grins, carefully releasing you, “Taste it.”

You harshly gulp, “S–Sorry? Oh, right. T–The beer.” 

Joel agrees, “That’s right.” Then, darkly teases, “Y’know, that pretty mind ‘a yours is boundin’ for the gutter.”

He crosses his arms against his broad chest, the canvas fabric of his Carhartt jacket drawing taut. Joel’s now cocking his head, sending his gaze along the pathway from the glass vessel that you’re feebly holding, to the lower lip that you’re inadvertently biting; Daring you.

You’re feignedly bold, “Meet ‘ya there.”

You drink, even if it’s primarily to keep yourself from further stuttering. At first, it’s an adequate enough distraction; The alcohol’s frigid in temperature, soothing to the high-strung tendons of your throat, from the inside-out. Then, you’re curiously drawn to Joel’s own gulping throat, and that transient composure of yours is gone.

Joel’s devotedly watching you, his glare heady and sensual. His Adam’s apple jerks, moving atop the clenched muscles and corded veins of his neck. You’re somewhat tipping back, gathering your final mouthful, for now; You’ve drained three-fourths of it, by the time that you’ve halted your sipping.

Then, Joel’s thumb darts out, before smoothing against your glistening mouth. He drawls, “Got it lookin’ real good. Let’s see.”

You’re only narrowly audible, “Oh? Joel.” 

Joel’s tongue, deliciously large and scrubbed pink, strokes his finger. He groans, “Mm. Ain’t sure. Need ‘t sample it from the source.”

You inwardly whimper, “Yeah?”

You’re foolishly tempted to extend him the ambered bottle itself, because surely Joel Miller, your dad’s best friend, would identify that as the ‘source’. Not your parted, wanting lips. Like Joel’s read your hesitant mind, he reassuringly pins your hands behind your back, easily dismissing the beer; A singular hand of his own, dwarfing the pair of your wrists.

Joel’s ghosting your lips, “Yeah.”

For good measure, Joel lightly moans, sucking his dampened digit. Humming around the pumpkin spiced suds, lapping up any residual taste from his finger. Arms restrained, spine straightened; Your chest’s rising urgently.

Joel’s own chest, delicately hairy below his threadbare t-shirt, is an odd inch away. A desperate heat’s begun permeating your lower abdomen; Achingly unfurling, taking up residency in your cunt.

Of course, it’s then that Dad’s barrelling over, having withdrawn from his nearby office, “Sorry ‘bout that, kid. Get ‘er open?”

You’re coughing out, “Y–Yep.” Then, “Thanks, Joel.”

Dropping your wrists, Joel winks, “Oh. ‘M pleasure.”

Your incriminating closeness to Joel goes unrecognized by Dad; Seeing as, Joel’s wide shoulders completely obscure you from view.

Dad sighs, “Gee, there ain’t no escapin’ this shiplap.”

Joel immediately laughs, casually reclaiming his prior barstool. The jarring segue from Joel’s flirting with you, to his joking with Dad, is absolutely disorientating. You’re fidgeting, repeatedly and silently tapping your foot. You can’t do Joel here; You’ll settle for doing last-minute Halloween preparations.

You blurt, “Goin’ to start organizin’ the candy. ‘S all in the garage, Dad?”

Dad assuredly nods, “Sure is. ‘Cept these.” He chuckles, gathering the forgotten wrappers from his earlier ‘protein break’ with Joel.

You remind him, “Don’t forget to refill the fog tanks.”

Dad, who seemingly had forgotten, regretfully snaps his fingers, “What would I do without ‘ya?” He’s bragging to Joel, “Look at ‘er.”

Joel agreeably nods. Eyeing you, “Good girl.”

Because, Dad and Joel are career contractors, who are simultaneously life-long friends and next-door neighbors, it’s only right that they’ve done an elaborate, joint Halloween for three decades; Locally dubbed the ‘Construction Fright’.

A (questionably) age-appropriate spread of horror, featuring thrifted tools that bludgeon and dismember an assortment of plastic skeletons. Hard hats, faux-bloodied and stabbed with rusted nails. Construction tape, riddled in spiderwebs.

A half-dozen, battered wheelbarrows, brimming with chocolate candies; Three brown ones, carrying Hershey’s, Rolo, and Tootsie Roll. Three orange ones, containing every imaginable variant of Reese’s. 

 You’ve already been working for nearly an hour; Arranging the color-coordinated barrows of candy. You’re jamming the recycling bin’s lid shut, overtop the cardboard and plastic wrappings of king-sized bars, when the entry door’s opened.

Dad’s entering the garage, “Sun’s settin’ soon, kid. ‘Oughta get dressed.” He lazily squeezes you in an impromptu side-hug, “Thanks, for helpin’.”

You breathily sigh, “Mhm. Oh, I need ‘t light the Jack-O-Lanterns.”

Joel appears, insisting,  “Go on, darlin’. I’ll get ‘em sweatin’ for ‘ya.”

You’re thinking, ‘That’s ridiculously slutty of him to say’, when Joel continues, this time addressing Dad, “Hey. Phone’s ringin’ over ‘gain.”

Dad sighs, “Got ‘t be kiddin’ me.” Then, grumbles, “Sure hopin’ it’s Ghostface.” He grins, lightly pinching your elbow.

You giggle, “C’mon. She can’t be that bad.”

Dad shrugs, smiling before swiftly jogging up the garage’s concrete steps; When Dad’s fully retreated inside, and the door’s naturally swung shut, Joel doesn’t waste any time pinning your body against it.

Joel whispers, “Bet ‘ya find that this pussy’s wet ‘f me, when you’re undressin’ it.” His jeaned, muscular thigh’s nudging your legs ajar.

You airily groan, “P–Please. Fuckin’ kiss me.”

Joel grins, wedging his ample thigh’s sturdy surface against your beating cunt. He kisses you; Joel Miller fuckin’ kisses you. He’s grabbing your face, thumbing your cheekbones. His lengthy fingers, scraping your skull.

His tongue’s deeply delving, eagerly exploring your mouth’s every crevasse. You can’t breathe efficiently or think coherently. Everything’s Joel. His graying beard, raking your chin; A woodsy scent, like that of the hardware store’s lumber aisles, exuding from his clothing.

You’re moaning, “Ngh.” Then, ripping at the silvery hair that’s curling against the nape of his sun-freckled neck, “More.”

Joel’s grunting, “Fuck. Need ‘t stop.” He can’t stop, and sucks your bottom lip, once more. Then, “H–Hear ‘im? He’s gainin’ on us.”

Sure enough, Dad’s approaching. It’s damn-near impossible to quit rutting along Joel’s denimed, upper leg. You’re whining, “Need ‘ya.”

Joel’s panting, “T–Tonight, darlin’.” He arousingly whispers, “All night. When the porch light’s out, sneak over.” Then, darker and deeper, “Repeat it.”

You repeat, “Tonight. When the porch light’s out, sneak over.”

You’re admittedly distracted, during the evening’s trick-or-treating segment. You understand that nothing’s allowed to appear awry around Dad, but Joel’s playing casual too well. You shouldn’t overthink, but it’s torturous; That he’s apparently unaffected. Drinking with Dad and Tommy. Never really staring at you.

Joel’s (conveniently) costumed as himself every Halloween, but himself during working hours; A leathered tool belt, cinching his tender waist. A backwards Filson hat, tamping his unkempt curls. His dirtiest ‘white’ t-shirt; The neckline’s absurdly tattered and torn, an array of holes displaying his body’s coarse hair.

Midland’s country cover of ‘Wicked Game’ is emitting from neighboring speakers. You can’t resist likening the song’s drumming pattern to your own heart’s pulsating rhythm; Yearning for Joel’s attention. Then, Dad’s whistling for your attention.

Dad’s pointing, “Look, kid. Your ‘ol boyfriend, Nick. He’s fuckin’ Ghostface.” Dad humorously roars, standing, “See ‘im? H–Hold on.”

You’re avidly protesting, but Dad’s already approaching Nick, who’s not wearing, but holding his hooded mask; Fingers cupping the elongated, rubbery chin. There’s nothing inherently wrong about him; He (morally) should be your holiday hook-up, not your dad’s best friend. It’s too bad.

Joel snipes, “Dick?”

You tut, “It’s Nick.”

Joel’s feigning understanding, “Oh, Prick.”

You’re unsure what’s initiated this potent sexual tension, but it’s consumed your every thought this Halloween; While, Joel’s every word is loaded. His irritated sarcasm’s gunned your way. Any bickering’s uncommon, for the pair of you. You’re hoping that Tommy’s too busy proffering candy to notice.

Dad’s returned, towing Nick, “Weren’t we just talkin’ ‘bout him, kid? So funny.” Dad, and his dorky penchant for inside-jokes.

Nick cluelessly smiles, “Hi, you.”

You politely reply, “Hi, yourself.”

Nick’s extending his hand, summoning you from your designated seat, “Got ‘t see this costume.” Then, he’s declaring you, “Stunning.”

You’re incredulously laughing, “They’re bloodied overalls.”

Nick grins, persisting, “Love ‘em. Also, this apron’s awesome.” He’s thumbing your accessory’s front, tracing the logo, “Carhartt girl, huh?”

You’re aiming to get under Joel’s skin with, “Scream girl, too.” You inspect Nick’s black robe, feeling his arm’s draping sleeve.

Oh, Joel Miller’s jealous. He’s rolling his earthy-toned eyes; Aggressively peeling his beer’s damp label, while instigating Dad, “Hearin’ this?”

Dad’s indifferent, shrugging. He’s always approved of Nick for you; He’s Texan, and plays Minor League Baseball. That’ll do it.

Nick’s pleading, “Let’s please walk ‘round, sweep the neighborhood?”

Joel snarks, “Hell. Reckon he’s recruitin’ for Neighborhood Watch?”

Nick’s nervously smiling, having not heard Joel’s dig, but surely hearing Dad and Tommy’s abrupt snickering.

You kindly respond, “Let’s. Love seein’ the decorations.”

It’s nine-thirty. Your street’s grown habitually sparse; Toddlers, having resigned to stringent bedtimes. Teens, having retreated to erupting parties.

You decipher Joel’s looming silhouette; His rocking chair’s creaking, upon the dimmed porch’s planks. A gleaming tumbler of (presumably) whiskey is resting against his crossed leg, the glass winking at you.

Joel’s dragging his index finger’s edge against his groomed mustache, thumbing his angrily tightened jaw. He rasps, “Ain’t walk ‘ya home?” 

You’re ascending his porch’s tread, “Didn’t need that. Told ‘im so.” Then, untying your apron’s chaotic knot, “Uncross your leg, Joel.”

Joel’s pleasingly pliant; He warns, “That’s the only order that I’m takin’ tonight.” His lap’s deliciously spreading, “Get ‘t drawin’ the blinds.”

The anticipation’s wetting you. You’re immediately scampering along the porch’s perimeter, rolling down every privacy blind; Joel’s patiently swigging his auburn liquor. You whimper, “A–Anythin’ else?”

Joel’s rolling the wick of his adjacent kerosene lantern; Thrusting his opened lap, scrounging his Zippo lighter from an anterior pant pocket. His hand’s arousingly veined, while flicking the lighter’s flint wheel.

He belatedly replies, “Drop your apron. Undo your overalls.”

You’ve dropped the apron, and something’s spilling out from the largest pocket; Joel’s deeply exhaling, “Explain that.”

The lamp’s emitting faint light, fire illuminating his hardening expression. He’s so scarily sexy. You’re inching nearer, but Joel hoists his palm, stopping you.

You embarrassedly gulp, “N–Nick’s mask. Asked me ‘t hold it. He never wore it.”

Joel’s impatient, waving, “And?”

You’re tentatively unhooking your denimed straps, gently uttering, “W–Would ‘ya? Wear it?”

Joel’s mildly surprised, “Oh?” Deciding, “Bring it here. On your knees.”

You instantly kneel, before gathering up the discarded disguise using your teeth. You’re crawling to Joel, crossing the porch’s dully-lit surface. The bib upon your overalls undone; The garment’s buckling loops clinking.

Joel involuntarily moans, “Ngh. Dirty fuckin’ girl.” His index finger’s pumping from his balled up fist, signaling you.

Your pussy’s thumping, because of his commanding, curling digit. You’re itching to suck it. You need anything of Joel’s inside of you.

You’ve gradually reached Joel; You’re being caged in-between his lengthy legs. Joel forcibly pinches your face, removing the mask from your bite’s grasp. The item’s resultantly spat, against his abutted groin.

He’s astonished at the filthy sight, rustling, “How ‘bout that.” You’re resting on your haunches, while Joel praises, “Good girl.”

Joel’s abruptly leaning downward, before hungrily lifting your body’s entirety along his own. He’s immediately kissing you, sinking against the rocking chair’s curved spine; The porch’s cedar ground sighs, creakily duetting with Joel’s groans.

You’re practically siphoning the remnant whiskey from his tongue’s cushioned pad; Your mouth’s rabidly sucking, while your waist’s desperately grinding.

Joel’s bypassing your denimed, disoriented trousers; His palm’s greedily grasping your back’s arched column. His remaining arm, ladling your ass. Then, Joel’s effortlessly hauling your goosebumped figure upward; The rocking chair’s momentum being an assistant. The mask’s wedged in-between your upright bodies.

Joel breathes, “T–The lamp. Hang tight.” You’re licking Joel’s partially bearded throat; He’s briefly hunching, responsibly lowering the wick, consequently extinguishing the flame. Your quartet of limbs, wrapping his flexing torso.

You’re whispering, “You’re so big and strong, Joel.”

He amusedly sighs, “Yeah?” Promising, “Ain’t seen nothin’.”

Then, Joel’s roughly stamping your body against the front door’s exterior; His bulge swelling, pinning your pussy. The entry knob’s blindly twisted. Joel’s heavy-footed steps are reverberated, crunching his home’s metallic threshold.

First, Joel carelessly clears his entry way’s waist-heighted table. Juggling you, while his tanned arm’s sweeping everything off; A ceramic, coffee-stained mug of loose change’s completely shattered. Second, Joel harshly kicks his anterior door shut; There’s an impressive boot print, left behind.

Joel’s panting, “Tell me ‘t stop?”

You’re begging, “K–Keep goin’.”

He hums, “Hm. Need it, darlin’?” Joel’s hurriedly planting you upon the table’s cleared crest, kissing your nodding throat. Agreeing, “Yeah. You do.”

It’s dizzyingly hot; Joel gruffly ripping off your mussed overalls, easily tugging off your slip-on sneakers. He’s lobbing them across the room, away from the mess of coins and shards. You’re noticing the Ghostface mask, under his unmoving bicep.

Joel’s noticing you, “This what ‘ya want?” He’s hesitantly thumbing the mask’s gaping jaw. “Ain’t scared?”

You quietly say, “Like ‘t be scared.” You’re reaching upward, prying off his hat; His hair’s deliciously gray and tousled. “Here.”

Joel’s flinging his accessory away. Then, handing you the hooded, horror mask, “Go ‘head.” He warns, “Wearin’ it ‘till you’re comin’. Understand?”

You’re stroking his untidy hair, readying him, “Won’t be long.” You murmur, “S–Soppin’ for ‘ya.”

Joel’s grunting, “Fuck’s sake.” Kissing you, in-between threatening, “Filthy. ‘Oughta edge ‘ya. Talkin’ like that.”

He impatiently rings your wrists; You’re positioning the mask properly overhead. The draping fabric’s hitting Joel’s colossal shoulders. 

Your pulse’s hammering, “Oh.”

The mask’s milky-colored expression, surveying you. Stark, against the setting of Joel’s unlighted home. His index finger’s impulsively traveling your body; Dragging over your bottom lip’s dampened flesh. Then, carnally downard, riding your throat. Fingering your jugular’s delicate divet. Hooking your undershirt’s airy collar.

Joel’s taunting, “Heart’s racin’.”

You’re anguishly rutting against his console table’s lacquered top. You need to be touched. You beg, “J–Joel. Oh, Joel.”

Joel’s eerily tilting his head, “Pussy’s racin’ like that, too?” Whispering, “Ain’t it?”

You’re deliriously horny, “Yes.”

He’s humming, “Hm. Shirt’s got ‘t go, first.” His unoccupied hand’s rummaging his hind pocket, while, “Reckon that my knife’ll work?”

You’re pleading, “C–Cut it off.”

Then, Joel’s brandishing his utility knife. The blade’s expertly flicked outward. He urges, “Try ‘t hold still.”

Joel Miller’s carving your fucking shirt; His blade’s blunt edge skimming your sternum. He’s effortlessly halved it, forging an impromptu vest. He’s instantaneously shoving the garment overtop your rigid shoulders.

The knife’s frigid handle brushes your tapered nipple; Joel’s awaiting permission, hovering your underwear’s waistline. You’re nodding, kneading his large shoulders. His finger’s hitching the material, before his blade’s cutting it.

Snipping the remaining side, Joel grunts, “Cunt need stuffin’?” He’s pocketing your saturated underwear and his retracted knife, “I know it’s wet ‘nough to take two fingers.”

You’ve been fantasizing about Joel entering you all Halloween. And, finally; He does. He’s groaning, “S–Swallowin’ both of ‘em. ‘Jus like that?”

Your angling head’s hitting the paneled wall. You’re obscenely squelching around his battering digits. You belatedly respond, “JoelJoelJoelJoel.”

Joel’s roughened wrist’s repeatedly rubbing your beating clit. You’re clenching speechlessly around him, innately meeting every re-entry. Your spine’s warming; Your stomach’s taut.

Your arousal’s watering his driving hand; His palm’s pooling. Joel’s incessantly steady. Praising, “Comin’ up. Doin’ good.”

You’re gasping, “There. Oh, right there.”

The instant that you’re coming, Joel’s yanking off his hindering mask. His beard’s patchy and sweaty. He grins, “Man ‘a my word.”

Then, Joel’s amused mouth’s pounding upon your own; He’s desperately inhaling your breaking moans. Licking your teeth’s underside. 

You’re abundantly squirting, as Joel’s uncorking your cunt. Your spotting vision’s correcting leisurely. You’re languidly sighing; Breathing deeply.

He’s genuinely insane for drinking you from his cupped palm. Then, Joel’s mouthing his soggy fingers; Hitting knuckle. You’re blurting, “Need ‘t fuck.”

Joel’s arching his aging brow; Rasping, “Ask nicely.” Then, he’s towing your body overtop his broad shoulder. Spanking you, “Greedy fuckin’ girl.”

You’re nakedly suspended, Joel’s bicep rippling below your ass. He’s entering his living room; Carefully placing you across his cognac-colored sectional. You’re propping upon the chaise’s leathered cushions. You whine, “Please, Joel.”

Joel’s tutting, “Better’n that.” 

You supply, “Pretty please?”

He’s gradually moving nearer; His denim-clad shins, butting the couch’s edge. Joel’s unhurriedly thumbing his belt’s loop, painfully prolonging his removing it. You’re wetting and writhing against his furniture’s fabric.

Joel’s unimpressed, “C’mon.”

Shedding his accessory; Working his zipper. His acting arm’s so freckled, tanned, veined. Joel’s yanking his t-shirt overhead, before subsequently revealing an appetizing, softened tummy. His happy trail’s graying and wiry.

You’re begging, “Joel. Please.”

He’s winking, “Good ‘nough.”

Every sound’s tantalizing; Joel’s boots and pants, thumping across the carpet. His bare, bulky thigh’s abruptly rubbing against your naked pussy; Then, Joel’s mirroring your body’s horizontal position. Mounting you.

Your arousal’s drenching his underwear’s front; His length’s largely tenting the humid material, “Beggin’ like that. Fuckin’ slut.”

You’re involuntarily panting, when Joel’s finally and fully undressed. His cock’s deliciously girthy. The tip’s engorged, reddened and seeping; Erecting far beyond his belly’s button.

You’re whimpering, “PleasePleasePlease.”

Joel grins, “Cunt’s quiverin’. Feelin’ that?”

You desperately nod, “Need you ‘t feel it.”

Joel’s immediately pistoning his fleshy waist; His cock’s knocking your cervix’s wall. His rough thrusting’s fastly inching your bodies upward, until your head’s rearing the sofa’s supple tailend.

He whispers, “Warm ‘nough?”

You gasp, “C–Cock’s perfect.”

Joel’s inaudibly responding; Ramming your hand, palming your pelvis. You’re feeling his cock, below your abdomen’s exterior. He’s interlocking your fingers; His own swallowing yours; Pressing. You’re practically tracing his bulbous, twitching tip.

He’s praising, “Takin’ me well.”

Joel’s bottoming-out, pounding steadily; His bloated, weighty balls welting your taint. Your clit’s puffing, from his pubic bone’s rhythmic route. Dementedly fucking you. You’re moaning, “Ah. F–Fuck.”

He murmurs, “Cunt’s gulpin’ me.” Joel’s hooking your knee’s underside, before lugging it overtop his broad shoulder’s slope, “Needy fuckin’ hole.”

You’re stammering, “Ngh. M–Mm. RightThereRightThere.”

Then, Joel’s angling deeper, differently; Laying his body’s robust weight against your languid, vertical leg. Your foot’s achingly surpassing your head. His chest hair’s graying and saturated; Scraping you.

Your pussy’s overwhelmingly spasming. Joel’s messily tonguing your nipple’s peak; His mustache’s prickling the sensitive skin. You’re tugging at his hair’s curling strands, “J–Joel. Close.”

Joel’s echoing your prior words, “Meet ‘ya there.”

You’re shockingly surprised, that Joel’s remembered the momentary retort; Your faux-bold response and pumpkin spiced alcohol. That’s it. You’re blindly coming. His cock’s densely brimming your contracting hole; Hammering you.

Your pussy’s pornographically sloshing. Joel whimpers, “A–’Atta girl. Drenchin’ it.” Then, “Comin’ inside. ‘M snipped. Yeah?”

You’re immediately kissing him. Palming his beard’s rugged stubble. Sucking his tongue’s pink pores; Tasting your arousal’s heady flavoring.

His climaxing moan’s roaring down your throat; Cum rapidly spurting, coating your cunt. You’re rubbing his rolling eye’s crinkled grooves. His forehead’s tanned and wrinkled. Joel’s especially gorgeous, while cumming hard.

You’re pouring, when Joel’s unplugging you. He’s breathlessly cursing, “Fuckin’ hot.” Standing, “Gettin’ towels. Need anythin’ else? Water?”

You’re beginning to respond, when Joel’s unexpectedly bending; Kissing you. You smile, tapping your bottom lip, “What’s that for?”

Joel’s embarrassedly pointing, toward the nearby microwave’s blinking clock. He explains, “Ten thirty-one on October thirty-first. ‘Dunno. Good luck? Make ‘a wish or somethin’.”

You’re actually dumbfounded, “Oh? You’re absurdly cute.”

Joel frowns, “Ain’t allowed ‘t call me that. ‘Specially while leakin’ my seed.” He’s nakedly turning, preparing to walk, “Water?”

You’re pulling Joel’s hand, “Wait. Want ‘t hear your wish.”

He gulps, “That… You’ll be visitin’ home on Thanksgivin’.”

[callmebrycelee]

9-1-1 REACTION

This week’s episode marks the 100th episode for 9-1-1 and it is a total banger! I figured nothing could get better than Bobby and Athena trapped inside an upside-down cruise ship, but this week’s episode walked up to the bar and said, “hold my beer”. If you’re reading this, you know exactly why this episode is truly *that girl* and I promise you we’re gonna talk about those last 4 minutes and 23 seconds that had us collectively clutching our pearls, pillows, and pets and left us with nary a hair on our scalps. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover so let’s not waste another second. This reaction is for the season 7, fourth episode “Buck, Bothered and Bewildered” which originally aired April 4, 2024. The episode was written by Andrew Meyers and Bradley Michael Marques and directed by actor turned directed Chad Lowe. Spoilers ahead!

“She has anthrax! Or glitter.” – Bachelor Producer, to everyone

We start things off at the Bachelor mansion where we see real-life runner up of season 20 of The Bachelorette and star of season 28 of The Bachelor, Joey Graziadei. I have never seen an episode of The Bachelor, but I have watched the first two seasons of VH1’s Flavor of Love so I’m quite familiar with the concept of a bunch of women competing for the affections of one man. The opening to this episode does a great job of parodying the hit ABC dating and relationship reality television series while also being respectful. After all, the show and it’s many spin-offs are beloved by many, including 9-1-1 viewers. 

We see a handful of hopeful contestants pull up to the mansion in limos, each of them providing a cheesy introduction very reminiscent of RuPaul’s Drag Race and the Real Housewives. I love that two of the contestants are named Ashley because of course there would be two Ashleys cast in the same season of a show like this. My favorite contestant, however, is Ashley A., a flight attendant who looks like she just stepped out of the one-season wonder Pan Am starring Christina Ricci, a pre-Barbie Margot Robbie, and Mike Vogel. Now that I think about it, wasn’t Pam Am an ABC show?

The last contestant arrives with a bottle of glue and introduces herself as Conchata. Joey is all of us and asks her about her name because for those of you who haven’t seen the episode, this woman is the whitest shade of pale and is the last person I expect to have the name Conchata. The producers (played by Jamie Denbo and Rique) scramble behind the scenes trying to find out who this woman is because she is definitely not Conchata. The contestant comes clean about who she really is and introduces herself (again) as Bailey, an aesthetician from Sheboygan, Wisconsin. She takes the bottle of glue and pours it all over the cobblestone driveway. She then lies flat on the driveway in attempt to glue herself to the surface. Our two producers attempt to remove her, but her skin has adhered to whatever glue she poured on the ground. 

Cue title card.

“I love dalmatians.” – Ashley C., Bachelor contestant, to Evan Buckley and Eddie Diaz

Our favorite 911 dispatch, Maddie, gets a call from the season 5 bachelor and host of The Bachelor, Jesse Palmer. We learn Maddie and Josh (played by Bryan Safi) are uber fans of the show and I cracked up when Josh commandeered the phone call and started grilling Jesse about the new bachelor. Maddie deploys the 118 to the Bachelor mansion and it’s heavily insinuated the location of this particular emergency is outside of the area the department usually responds to. Way to keep it professional, you guys!

The 118 arrive on the scene and Chimney and Hen attend to Bailey (played by Sarah Fletcher). Chimney sees Joey and he is awestruck. I can totally see he and Maddie piling up on the living room sofa after they’ve put Jee-Yun to bed to watch The Bachelor. There’s a funny moment where the other contestants flirt heavily with Eddie and Buck. Eddie tells them he’s taken but points to Buck and says that he is single. Buck tells them he has a rule about not dating people he meets on calls which is hilarious considering he nearly got fired in the first episode of the series for taking one of the firetrucks to a booty call with a woman he saved. 

Eddie and Buck breakout the jackhammer to cut away the piece of driveway Bailey is stuck to so she can be transported to the nearest hospital. Meanwhile, Chimney answers a FaceTime call from Maddie and Josh who want to know the identity of the latest bachelor. Chimney flips the camera around and tries to be sneaky about filming Joey, but he gets caught. He ducks behind the limo Bailey pulled up in and sees another woman passed out in the backseat. We learn this is the real Conchata and she has been chloroformed by Bailey. Speaking of Bailey, as she is loaded into the ambulance, she yells for Joey to visit her in prison. Yeah, I don’t think Joey Graziadei is going to be visiting you, Bailey.

“That night was the most fun I’ve had since getting struck by lightning.” – Evan Buckley, to Tommy Kinard

We next head over to Air Operations One which I’ve learned is a part of the Los Angeles Fire Department. Tommy Kinard (played by Lou Ferrigno Jr.), our former 118 firefighter turned helicopter pilot, is giving Buck a tour of the unit. I got so excited seeing these two share a scene together because it’s no secret that Buck is my favorite character on the show, and I really like how they’re brought Tommy back into the show this season. Buck is in awe of everything Tommy’s telling him, but the latter believes he has ulterior motives for being there. He asks if Buck is thinking about changing career paths. Buck tells him that he really got a thrill flying in the middle of a hurricane to save Bobby and Athena. It’s the most fun he’s had since getting struck by lightning. 

Buck asks Tommy what got him into flying. Tommy tells him that he used to be a pilot in the Army. Buck lights up and tells Tommy that Eddie was in the Army, too. Tommy already knows this. Buck then tells Tommy that he met his ex (Taylor) responding to a helicopter crash and then realizes in that moment that maybe that was a sign of things to come. Tommy agrees that saving someone’s life and dating them never turns out the way you want it to. Upon second (and third) viewing of this episode, I find it interesting how the both of them are ambiguous about the genders of the people they are speaking about. Buck could’ve mentioned Taylor by name, but he chose to just say ex instead. Now back to the topic at hand, Buck says he isn’t sure if he’d want to leave where he is now to pursue being a pilot and Tommy assures him he can do both which seems to be the thesis of this episode. Tommy offers to teach Buck how to fly for fun. Buck offers to buy him a beer and Tommy says he’d love that. Again, how did I not pick up on the subtle flirtation the first time I saw this episode. These two’s chemistry is off the charts. 

However, our little meet cute is cut short when Eddie arrives. Eddie is surprised to see Buck there and asks Tommy if he got three tickets to the fight. Tommy says ‘no’ but he wishes he did. Here’s another thing I really liked about this scene. I’m sure, by now, Tommy knows that Buck goes by Buck but each time he addresses Buck he calls him ‘Evan’. I’ve always equated the characters on this show who refer to him as ‘Evan’ as having more of an intimate connection with him, i.e., Maddie his sister or Eddie his best friend. Anywho, Buck is surprised to learn that Tommy and Eddie have tickets to a big fight in Vegas and they’re taking one of the helicopters there. Now I have a question. If Buck wasn’t allowed to drive the firetruck to his hookups back in season one, how is Tommy flying to Vegas with Eddie in one of the LAFD choppers okay? Also, I didn’t know helicopters could fly that great of a distance. Anyway, Tommy and Eddie leave to board the helicopter and our poor Buck is left behind feeling both a little confused and a lot jealous.

“It is so good to have you back.” – Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

Speaking of surprises, Athena does not sleep with her hair wrapped. No shade, but no Black woman I know is going to lay her head down at night without doing something to protect her hair. Okay, I’m gonna leave Athena alone because she is thrilled to have her son back home. Yes, you read that right. Harry Grant is back home but he looks a bit different. The character is now aged up played by a new actor – Elijah M. Cooper. Now, in case you forgot, Harry went to live with his dad in Florida back in season five and we really haven’t seen him since then. When Athena says she can’t believe Michael didn’t say anything about Harry coming to visit. Harry tells her his dad has been really busy and had to fly back to Haiti. Bobby is immediately suspicious of this because he figures that Michael would’ve called about something like this. Athena doesn’t seem to concerned about any of this and is basically just happy to have her youngest back under her roof. 

“I saved a baby in a pipe once although it was a preemie and it didn’t speak.” – Evan Buckley, to everyone

Meanwhile, Buck, Eddie, and Ravi (played by Anirudh Pisharody) respond to an emergency at a restaurant where the dishwasher (played by Jibre Hordges) claims he hears a voice coming from inside the sink. Ravi doesn’t think it’s possible that someone could be trapped inside a drain but Buck reminds him of the time he pulled a newborn out of a sewer pipe. The firefighters do finally hear someone yelling for help and the restaurant manager (played by Cesili Williams) shows them footage of a motorcyclist being struck by a car and knocked into a storm drain. 

Buck, Eddie, and Ravi head outside and Ravi, being the newest member of the 118, is lowered down into a manhole to extract the poor guy. During this time, Buck grills Eddie about his outing with Tommy. He learns that in addition to going to Vegas, Tommy is also teaching Eddie the Muay Thai style of boxing and they’ve even worked on Eddie’s Chevelle together. Buck does his best to hide his jealously, but he can’t help pressing his best friend for more details. He asks Eddie when he plans on seeing Tommy again. Eddie tells him that Tommy has this karaoke/trivia thing he does on Wednesdays and asks Buck what his plans are for that day. Buck perks up and says his schedule is wide open. Eddie asks if he would watch Christopher for him. He would ask Marisol, but she’s already watched Christopher twice already. Yikes! So, a lot to unpack here. First, is Eddie using his girlfriend as childcare? Second, does this mean Buck’s level of importance to Eddie has decreased now that Tommy and Marisol are in the picture. Lastly, is Eddie really that oblivious? I get wanting to have a new friend, especially one who you have a lot in common with, but he knows Buck, or rather he should know Buck, and him saying these things, even though Buck technically asked him for this information, is hurtful for Buck to here. This, I’ve noticed, is a continuing trend of certain characters getting upset whenever Buck does something wrong, but having little to no regard when it comes to his feelings. This isn’t the first time Eddie has done something like this and I have to believe that he really is oblivious because the alternative means that he’s doing these things because he’s trying to get his friend all riled up. Of course, Buck agrees to watch Christopher because of course he’s going to watch Christopher. 

“Is it circled with a heart around it?” – Maddie Buckley, to Evan Buckley. 

A few days later, Buck updates Maddie on Eddie’s new friendship with Tommy. Buck is so jealous of the new friendship that he’s gathering intel from Christopher. Although Buck is being a little bit extra about all of this, a part of me can relate to the emotions he’s feeling. He worries that Tommy has made such an impression on not only Eddie but Christopher in such a short period of time. What I find fascinating is that while Buck is jealous, he harbors no ill-will towards Tommy.  In fact, he agrees with Eddie and Christopher. Tommy is cool. Buck tells his sister that Christopher would not stop talking about Tommy. Maddie wonders if it’s because Buck kept asking him questions about Tommy. Buck mentions that Eddie has a date written down on his calendar and it’s for a weekly pick-up basketball game with Tommy and other first responders. The date is circled. Buck mentions that Eddie has asked him to this before. Maddie reminds Buck that he doesn’t like basketball and he agrees and says that’s why he always tells Eddie ‘no’ but now Eddie is going with Tommy. Chimney hears the tail-end of their conversation and tells Maddie that Tommy flew Eddie to Vegas for a fight in a chopper. Chimney teases Buck by saying that Tommy’s so cool. 

“We have a problem.” – Bobby Nash, to Athena Grant

Back over at the Grant-Nash household, Bobby tells Athena he talked to Michael. Michael is not in Haiti, and he also had no clue Harry had left and come to Los Angeles which means Harry lied to the both of them. Athena wonders why Harry would lie, and Bobby says it’s because the police is looking for him. They showed up to Michael’s house while he was on the phone with Bobby. Bobby tells his wife that Harry got into a fight and assaulted someone. There’s now a warrant out for his arrest due to him fleeing the jurisdiction. Yikes! Poor Athena. You think you know your kids.

“That’s Jeremy. That’s my son, he’s a doctor.” – Dorothy Nelson, to Athena Grant

Maddie receives a call from an older woman named Dorothy Nelson who is reporting an intruder in her home. Maddie instructs her to stay calm and tells her to find a place to hide until the police get there. The woman panics and tells Maddie she has a gun. Maddie tells her that arming herself can only make the situation she’s in more dangerous. Dorothy starts screaming and then we hear a gunshot. 

Athena, Hen, and Chimney arrive on the scene and find a man dead in the Dorothy’s living room. Chimney tends to her and learns she recently sustained a fall in her garden. Athena looks around the room and sees a photo on the mantle above the fireplace. She realizes the man in the photo looks an awful lot like the dead man on the floor. Hen posits Dorothy has face blindness which means she wouldn’t have been able to recognize the guy even if she does know him. This emergency reminds me of a similar one on Lone Star where a kid locked himself in the bathroom because his dad thought he was an intruder.

Athena goes over to Dorothy (played by Meagen Fay) and asks her if she recognizes the man in the photo. She tells Athena that the man in the photo is her son, Jeremy, and he’s a doctor. So, this lady has killed her own son, and the sad part is, she still thinks that it’s an intruder she shot. This is beyond sad, and I felt so bad for her. I also feel bad for Athena who will have to be the one to tell her the truth. Hen asks her if she can imagine looking into her own child’s face and not even recognizing him. Athena says yes she can.

“That’s how they wake you up in jail for sleeping in. Except the water won’t be clean and it probably won’t be water.” Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

Athena returns home and confronts her son. I did not like the way Harry was talking to his mom and I was wondering why Athena didn’t slap him across his lips. Then I realized, she already did this back in season 5 when Harry started mouthing off at her. Athena is extremely patient in this scene while Harry tells her about the incident involving him assaulting a man. The man, in question, is the manager of a convenience store. Apparently this man was following Harry around while he was inside the convenience store and accused Harry of stealing. The man wouldn’t let Harry leave and got aggressive with him which is why Harry hit him. Harry is upset because he believes she is taking law enforcement’s side over his much like he thinks she did when his father was pulled over several seasons ago. Athena reminds him she is a cop, and he counters by reminding her that he is still his mom. He asks her which one is more important to her but says he already knows the answer to that question. 

“Hey, what are you doing on Thursday?” – Evan Buckley, to Howard "Chimney" Han

Over at the 118, Buck is trying his best to get Eddie’s attention, but the latter is too wrapped up in his phone call with Tommy. Buck tries to impress by bench-pressing a lot of weight but he’s clearly struggling with isn’t too believable for me because have you seen Buck? The guy is a tank! Ravi asks him if he needs help and Buck declines. I wish Buck wasn’t so short-sighted because as much as he wants Eddie and Tommy to notice him, I think Ravi wants Buck to notice him. For him, I think, Buck is the cool one. Chimney brings Buck a package addressed to an M. Buckley which I found funny because either Buck doesn’t have his own Amazon Prime account or maybe he shares one with Eddie and didn’t want his friend knowing what he’s ordering. Turns out, the item Buck has ordered is a new basketball. When Buck sees Eddie again, he suggests that they can get a basketball hoop. Eddie barely acknowledges this before returning to his conversation. Yeah, I’m beginning to think Eddie is doing this on purpose. 

“He was shot when he was mistaken as an intruder.” – Athena Grant, to Dorothy Nelson

Athena puts her cutest outfit and goes to see Dorothy Nelson at the hospital. She rips off the Band-Aid and tells Dorothy her son is dead. When Dorothy asks what happens, Athena tells her that he was killed because he was mistaken as an intruder. I like how Athena delivered this news because it wasn’t accusatory. She lets Dorothy figure out the rest and the moment it dawns on her that she is the one who killed Jeremy she is rightfully devastated. Kudos to the actress playing Dorothy Nelson because she really sold this scene for me. This is the most devasting thing I’ve seen on this show since the story back in season 5 where two best friends were struck during the middle of a parade and one of them died. The scene ends and I’m left wondering what will become of this woman. I can’t imagine the pain she’ll have to live with knowing she killed her son. 

“So, I’m your basketball beard. I feel so bonded.” – Howard “Chimney” Han, to Evan Buckley

Buck convinces Chimney to go with him to the pick-up basketball game. Buck pretends to be surprised to see Eddie and Tommy there. Eddie asks Chimney how he managed to talk Buck into playing basketball because every time he asks him, he says ‘no’. Chimney decides to play coy and tells Eddie he has his ways. I love seeing Chimney being supportive of Buck because very soon they are going to be brothers-in-law. The two square off against Eddie and Tommy and the latter are dominating. Buck lets his jealousy get the better of him and trips Eddie up right as he’s about to make a lay-up. We hear something pop as Eddie falls to the ground. Chimney goes into paramedic mode and assesses Eddie’s injury. He thinks Eddie may have a fracture or sprain. Tommy says that Eddie rode with him, so he’ll be the one to take him to urgent care. Eddie gives Buck a hurt look and Buck immediately feels horrible. Tommy lifts Eddie up and takes him away. Chimney looks at Buck and says, “Well you bucked that up, didn’t you?” Geez, I really feel bad for Buck. He is spiraling!

“It seems unjust, but in reality that’s just the way it is.” – Athena Grant, to Harry Grant

With a cooler head, Athena decides to talk to her son. He apologizes for how he spoke to her. He tells her he is not sorry for hitting the convenience store manager. Athena reminds him that he is not only representing himself and their family, but also his community, which means he can’t go around punching people. He tells her that’s a lot of pressure, but she says that’s the reality of the world they live in. She tells him has to be smarter and he asks her if that means he’s not allowed to be angry. Athena tells him it’s okay to be angry because at the end of the day, he’s a human and that’s what humans do – they get angry when they are upset. However, she reminds him that things could have been worst for him. What if the convenience store manager had a gun? Harry asks her what would have been the right thing for him to do in the situation and I like that Athena admits she doesn’t know. At the end of the day, you have to do whatever you have to do to make it home alive. That’s sentiment is so sad to me but as a Black man living in America, in the South to be specific, I totally get it. It’s not fair but it is what it is. 

Athena shows him the footage of what happened at the convenience store. Harry watches as the manager confronts him and even gets aggressive. He also sees himself punch the man. It’s sobering for him to see this video. He says it’s like watching someone else. Athena tells him that everyone has something they’ve done that they aren’t proud of (you hear that Buck?) but the true test of character is being able to face the consequences of one’s actions. Harry tells her he doesn’t know what to do and she tells him they’ll figure it out together. Whatever happens, she will be right there with him because he is her son, and she loves him no matter what.

“I’m not a fourteen-year-old girl.” – Evan Buckley, to Maddie Buckley. 

Buck brings Maddie lunch at the dispatch center and catches her up on what happened with Eddie.  She asks Buck how Eddie is feeling, and he tells her he doesn’t know because he hasn’t talked to him. Maddie is surprised to hear this considering Buck and Eddie are so close. Buck tells her he doesn’t think Eddie wants to hear from him since he’s the one who hurt him. Maddie says it’s an accident, but Buck tells her he was pissed about Eddie and Tommy hanging out so much that he allowed his jealousy to get the better of him. He’s the reason why Eddie got injured. Buck says he was only trying to get his attention. Maddie tells him that is not the way to get someone’s attention. When I first watched this scene, I thought Maddie was going a little overboard with her disapproval of what Buck did. Then I realized, violence is how her husband Doug would get her attention back when they were married. Buck tells her he feels awful for what he did to Eddie, and she tells him not to do it again. 

She admits she knows how he feels because she had a similar situation with her best friend growing up. Her friend became friends with another girl and Maddie did everything she could, including dyeing her hair blonde and attempting to change her name, to get her friend to notice her. It never occurred to her that she could have still been friends with her friend even if her friend was friends with someone else. Maybe they could have all been friends. But Maddie was too jealous to realize this. The situation made her look desperate, and she would’ve been better off just explaining to her friend how she felt. 

“It’s good to see you Harry.” – Captain Elaine Maynard, to Harry Grant

Athena accompanies Harry to the police station, and they are met by Captain Elaine Maynard (played by Claudia Christian). The captain tells Athena and Harry she spoke with the Miami Dade Police Department, and they have no interest in extraditing for a misdemeanor assault. However, both jurisdictions recommended Harry remain in Los Angeles with Athena and complete 100 hours of community service. Harry is surprised he isn’t going to jail but Athena makes it known that him being under her watchful eye will be worse. 

“It’s not like I could ever replace you.” – Tommy Kinard, to Evan Buckley

Now, we’ve finally made it to my favorite scene of the episode. We head over to Buck’s loft. There’s a knock at the door and when he goes to check, he finds Tommy on his doorstep. Tommy asks if they can talk, and Buck invites himself inside. I love the subtle detail of Tommy being in awe of Buck’s loft. Buck offers him a drink and reminds him that he owes him a beer. Tommy declines and says he won’t be staying long. He tells Buck he wants to clear the air between the two of them and he didn’t want to do so over the phone or through a text message. Tommy calls him Evan and says it was never his intention to cause any bad blood between him and Eddie. Buck assures him there’s no bad blood and owns up to his bad behavior. He tells him that he and Eddie make perfect sense as friends. Tommy agrees and reminds Buck that Eddie can have more than one friend. 

Tommy says that he would never be able to replace him. He says that Christopher cannot shut up about Buck. I love the smile on Buck’s face when Tommy says this because it’s a reminder that Buck, seven seasons later, still craves the approval and the acceptance of those around him. Even Christopher. Buck asks Tommy if Eddie is mad at him. Tommy tells him Eddie is not mad at him. If anything, he feels bad (they both do) for excluding Buck. He tells Buck that he and Eddie hanging out was never about Buck, but Buck says that’s the problem. He admits he can get pretty jealous. I’m so proud of Buck for just owning everything in this scene. Lisa Rinna would be proud. 

Tommy admits that Buck isn’t the only one who’s been jealous. Buck is surprised to hear this. Tommy explains that he’s jealous of what’s become of the 118. When we were first introduced to Tommy, it was back during the ‘Begin’ episodes for Hen, Chimney, and Bobby. The 118 didn’t use to be the family it is now. In fact, the previous captain went out of his way to cultivate a highly toxic environment and it’s because of Chimney, Hen, and Bobby that the team is what it is today. It’s the reason why Buck and Eddie and Ravi were able to be accepted right away without having to be hazed by the other firefighters. Tommy admits he wishes he were a part of what the 118 has become and Buck reminds him that he is. He reminds Tommy of how he made fake mouth static at the fire chief during their daring mission to save Bobby and Athena. Tommy says he’s renowned for his fake mouth static, but Buck says it wasn’t very convincing. The banter between these two men is so cute I could actually explode. Buck tempers his teasing by reminding Tommy that he was willing to put his job on the line to help the rest of them out. That was the moment Buck realized that Tommy was cool and that he liked him. He tells Tommy that’s the reason he called him for the tour. It’s not because he’s thinking about leaving the 118; it’s because he wanted to get to know him. It’s Tommy’s turn to be surprised. Buck says things took a turn when Eddie arrive, but he understands why Tommy wants to hang with Eddie. It was so cute the way Buck gushes about how great Eddie is that he’s known Eddie is great since the first day he worked with him. Aww! At this point, I’m literally yelling at my TV.

“That was better than fake mouth static.” – Evan Buckley, to Tommy Kinard

The flirting is turned up to level 100 when Buck tells Tommy it’s his attention he’s been trying to get and frankly he’s exhausted. Again, Tommy is surprised to hear this. Buck reminds him that he maimed his best friend, and that Maddie told him there are better ways to get someone’s attention. Before Buck can even finish the statement, Tommy leans in and kisses him. There’s a brief hesitation in Buck, most likely because he is shocked, the Buck starts to kiss him back. This moment was beyond shocking to me and even now, three days later, I still have to watch the clip to remind myself that Tommy kissed Buck and Buck definitely kissed him back. I spent years thinking something like this would never happen and I’ve gone back and forth with Buddie shippers online telling them that Buck or Eddie coming out as anything other than straight was an impossibility. Yeah, maybe that was the case when 9-1-1 was on FOX but this is a new network baby and ABC said, let them boys kiss! And yes, it’s not Eddie and Buck that are kissing but in my opinion, this is an even better direction for the characters to go in. I’ve always believed that if either character were to come out as queer, it would be Buck. We’ve only seen Buck in relationships with women, but he’s always struck me as someone who is open to whatever experiences come his way. Perhaps this explains why he's always had difficulty in the relationships he’s pursued on the show. Eddie, on the other hand, is a lot more reserved than Buck and the writers are going to have to put in work to convince me he is anything other than a heterosexual man. I’m not saying it’s out the realm of possibility, but I think the writers did a good job getting us where we are now, and they’ll need to do the same for Eddie in the future should that be the direction they want to go in for that character. Also. bringing Tommy into the equation is a brilliant move on their part because rewatching those ‘Begin’ episodes, there are insinuations there that he may be gay or bisexual. 

Okay, back to the scene. The way Tommy is looking at Buck gives me all the feels. The way he’s looking at Buck tells me that if he didn’t have to leave for his shift, they would be going at it on Buck’s new sofa. I’m so happy this isn’t just a one-sided interest. After the kiss, Tommy asks Buck if he’s okay with the moment they just shared. Buck is looking every bit of the bewildered that’s a part of the title of this episode. He tells Tommy that the kiss was better than his fake mouth static. Tommy tells him he has a shift, but he wants to take Buck out on a proper date. Buck tells him he’s free and man is that statement layered. Free to go out. Free to be who he wants to be. Free to kiss anyone he wants to kiss. Tommy tells Buck he will come around on Saturday at eight to pick him up. Tommy goes to leave but before opens the door, he tells Buck to call Eddie. We end the scene with Buck looking the happiest he’s looked in a long time. 

This episode is hands down one of the best of the series and that’s just not recency bias. I feel that way about all the episodes we’ve gotten this season. 9-1-1 is firing on all cylinders at this point and things feel fresh and new again. The plot with Athena and Harry was perplexing at first but then I grew to like it by the end. I like that the show reminds us that Athena being a Black woman and a cop is controversial, especially in today’s climate, and I like that her kids aren’t afraid to call her out. I love seeing Athena reckon with both identities and how they relate to each other. I especially loved her conversation with Harry because it’s very reminiscent of conversations I’ve had with my own mom. Her telling Harry that it’s unfair that he has to always be on his best behavior but necessary rang so true to me. Athena has always known this, even before she had kids, yet she chooses to continue to work within a system that reinforces this kind of thinking. 

The storyline with Buck was also fun. It was a nice balance to the sadness of the story with the woman killing her son on accident. I like how Buck is never afraid to be vulnerable, even if it’s to his detriment. I hope we get a conversation between him and Eddie next episode because I love their friendship and I don’t want it to ever change, and something tells me Buck is going to lean heavy on his friendship with Eddie now that he might be dating Tommy. And I hope that Eddie continues to be supportive of his friend when he finds out the truth about his sexuality. I don’t think Eddie would have a problem with it. After all, Hen is an out and proud lesbian, and we also have Josh who is gay. I do know that some people do question the legitimacy of bisexual people but again, I don’t think Eddie will have a problem with whatever Buck labels himself as. Maybe we’ll even get a double date between Eddie, Marisol, Buck, and Tommy. That would be fun.

Lastly, I wanted to talk about Buck and Tommy. I think the show did a great job getting us to the moment where they shared a kiss this episode. As I mentioned earlier, I have seen this episode quite a few times and I’ve watched the scenes involving Buck and Tommy more than that. If you watch the scene where Buck is visiting Tommy, there’s so many little looks the two are giving each other. I think at that point that Buck is only infatuated but Tommy is clearly interested. Also, if you go back to the previous episode, at the end once everyone has been rescued, there’s a look Buck gives when he is telling Tommy goodbye. I love things like that and it’s proof to me that this isn’t just gaybaiting or queerbaiting. This is the show telling us that one of their beloved characters is queer and they have taken special care with letting us know that. I love how Oliver Stark and Lou Ferrigno Jr. are invested in this story. In fact, the cast is supportive of Buck going in this direction. I’m so happy that the fans have this moment. It’s been so fun engaging with people online about this episode and while there are viewers who have and will balk at Buck being a queer character, I say screw those people. If a character’s sexuality can make you that upset, you clearly haven’t been watching the show and you’re not a fan.

Okay, this reaction has gone on way too long. I’ll say it one last time. I’m so happy Buck is bi!!!! I can’t wait to see what happens next! Until next time …

[kiss-theggoat]

Hola!

I have a weird thought. The slashers with a reader who’s blind.

Thanks so much for this request!! 🖤

Slashers with a Blind Reader

Slashers include Michael Meyers, Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, Bo Sinclair

Michael Meyers

A relationship with Michael would probably be really difficult if you were blind, only due to the fact that he doesn’t talk. There’s no real way to effectively communicate with him, unless he decides to start talking for you, which isn’t very likely.

But, he’d sort of be like a stray cat I think. You’d be laying in your bed trying to sleep and all of the sudden you’d hear a little noise downstairs or hear your window slide open, and you’d know it was Michael. You’d hear the way he was walking and know he had a bad night. Or you could hear the way he slid his coveralls off and tell if they were bloody or not.

Michael would probably adapt to you being blind by walking louder or making himself more known when he’s with you. Usually, he’s focused on being silent and fading away into the shadows, but he’s okay with you knowing where he is at all times.

He’d probably place his hand on your lower back as he walked past you in the kitchen, put a hand in your shoulder as he entered the bathroom while you brushed your teeth. He enjoyed spending time with you and enjoyed being in your home, so he’d find ways to communicate his needs and understand yours.

Jason Voorhees

You’d run into the same issue with Jason as you would with Michael. Even though communication would be difficult, Jason would put a lot more effort into trying to communicate with you.

Jason would hold your hand to lead you around the forest, guiding your hands over things he thought looked pretty or things that you might like to feel. He loves taking you to the field that has flowers growing and watch you smile as you felt the flowers he picked for you.

Sometimes he’d startle you by sneaking up on you and touching your shoulders, making you jump and whip around, but you’d be instantly comforted by his presence. You knew the difference between him and other people, and you could tell instantly it was your Jason.

Date nights usually consisted of cooking a meal together and then Jason would start a fire for you two, gathering cozy quilts his mother had made to set up two spots on the floor in front of the fireplace. You two would eat and cuddle in front of the fire, and you’d feel the warmth soak into your skin, both from the fire and from Jason.

Freddy Krueger

Being in a relationship with Freddy would be like heaven on earth as a blind person. He’d be able to provide you with sight while you slept and give you the power to live two separate lives.

During the day, all you can think about is falling asleep and spending time with Freddy, looking at everything he’s created for you inside of his dream world. Everything was perfect as you slept, and he allowed you to have the perfect life.

Freddy didn’t actually realize you were blind at first, until you reacted so surprised to being able to see in his world. You spent time staring at everything, smiling and identifying things that you recognized with touch.

He’d create everything to your liking, never feeling more useful and loved in his entire life. He loved the look on your face when he’d make something outrageous for you to look at, colorful and fun. The only negative part about your relationship was when you needed to wake up.

Bo Sinclair

Bo wouldn’t be loving or understanding about the fact you’re blind. He’d probably make light hearted jokes about it or tease you by tossing things beside you sometimes, making you jump or think he was near you when he wasn’t.

He’d give you the task of being Vincent’s assistant, which you liked, because even though Vincent didn’t talk, he was gentle and would always show you kindness and gratitude for helping him with his work.

Even though Bo gave you a hard time, when push came to shove, he was protecting you like his life depended on it, which he felt like it did. If you were cooking snd burnt/cut yourself, he’d run to your aid, playing nurse and doctoring you up before scolding you about doing dangerous things in your own.

He loved to kiss you when you didn’t know he was around. He’d sneak up on you and slap a big sloppy kiss into your lips or your cheek, his heart growing a few sizes at the way you giggled and wiped your cheek.

[ghostherlig]

i am very slow with writing atm with being sick and also my wrists are starting to hurt more now that it's getting colder- but here's some silly goofy random headcanons while im recovering!! (for johnny, kenshi, raiden, and kung lao) under the cut bc this really ran away from me- (collected over the course of this entire day as things popped into my brain, i apologize for the mass of words you're about to read :'))

johnny can play piano!! he has a grand piano that he really loves and he plays anything from classical to ost's to his own little tunes whenever he thinks them up- he has a recorder attached to it so he can remember them or maybe post his own song one day

(based off the previous hc) if/when kenshi is over/moves in he'll play at night and let kenshi listen in- but randomly johnny will transition what he's playing into the jaws or michael meyers theme and that's kenshi's cue to start running- because now the house is in hide and seek mode, and as soon as johnny stops playing, he'll be searching

kenshi used to play the violin growing up, but he dropped it once he was old enough and competent enough to commit himself to the yakuza- he can still remember some of the songs he used to love to play. he hums them from time to time and has been caught doing the motions of playing the violin before

kenshi loves animals but has an extra soft spot for cats and bunnies especially- he's a cat magnet in places where strays are common, they always flock to him (he for sure keeps catnip in his pocket when he can)

johnny loves his action and hero films but kenshi enjoys romcoms and horror- romcoms for the stories and drama, and horror films because the sound design usually slaps- he also can tell you what fruit or vegetable was absolutely destroyed based on the sounds alone

lao and raiden are way too good at Keep Talking and Nobody Explodes- raiden is on the manual while lao is on the bomb and they can crack the normal mode in like 45 minutes (they're a little slower when they swap places but they can still do it impressively fast (fastest speedrun time is sub 30mins)

johnny knows how to play mahjong after taking a role and having to play on-screen for five minutes- he wanted it to look authentic and thought "there's no better way than to actually play"- raiden and lao found out and now they're all trying to teach kenshi with specially made tiles with braille in the corners

kenshi is ridiculously good at poker- he brought a deck of cards with braille stamped on them and him and johnny played strip poker for a night- needless to say kenshi was smirking to himself as he switched his button up for johnny's

johnny can do pitch and diction perfect impressions of people he's heard talk for long periods of time- you can bet that a lot of his free time at wu shi was spent scaring his fellow champions by talking to them in liu kang's voice from behind a wall-

(based off the last hc) johnny only does it around people he knows well or as a party trick with different characters from pop culture- most often his power is used for evil though

raiden isn't a morning person and actually is super groggy in the mornings- the first thing he does on early days is take a cold shower to wake himself up

(based off the last hc) lao is a morning person and is usually the one to wake up raiden by ripping his blankets off of him- he's lucky he has survived this long, but he tells everyone that if looks could kill, raiden would have killed him long before he made it to wu shi

we all know kung lao eats for a family of five, but that man also naps like a divorced dad after an all you can eat buffet- he is OUT after he's done absolutely fucking up like five full plates of food

raiden really likes boba!! kenshi took him to get some after an errand run and he fell in love with the taro flavor- he also really enjoys winter melon and the regular thai tea

johnny always gets his boba with coffee- he doesnt really like tea flavors and no matter how many sips of kenshi's tea he has, he will always prefer his coffee

kenshi bought johnny a really nice espresso machine that he uses every morning- johnny didnt buy himself one before that bc he never thought he would enjoy making coffee at home and it was easier to just stop by the local cafe since they always had his order ready early- but he finds it really calming and really nice to slow his mornings down and make a latte before leaving for work

johnny, to return the gesture, bought kenshi a really nice kitchen knife since he knows the man really likes to cook- it sees a lot of use as it's a santoku that he basically uses like a chef's knife (it's his sharpest and most well treated kitchen tool, right next to his 8 inch cast iron)

kung lao owns maybe three articles of clothing with sleeves- all of them are coats for when it rains- oh and one hoodie that he stole from raiden that somehow survived when he went into his wardrobe and cut and hemmed all of the sleeves

when kenshi visits, johnny makes him coffee in the morning too but since kenshi doesnt always like the bitter coffee flavor he'll add some fun home made syrups- he has plain vanilla, but also has seasonal flavors like pumpkin spice, snickerdoodle, sugar cookie, white mocha, peppermint, etc.

kenshi LOVES mint chocolate flavored things- he especially loves the kitkat flavor and the pocky flavor, as well as ice cream- johnny CANNOT stand it, he's never liked mint outside of gum and even then he prefers cinnamon or clove gum (the first time kenshi kissed him he was confused bc he tasted like spices)

johnny keeps a jar of butterscotch candies on his desk for when he needs to brainstorm ideas- he finds he thinks better when his mouth is occupied (oral fixation haver)

(based off the previous hc) kenshi bought him some violet (the flower) flavored candy after he found out johnny always kept a stash- he also will refill the giant glass jar with butterscotch candies when he knows johnny is busy and will forget

(also based off the candy hc) lao and raiden also buy him hard candies- they get him ginger and lemon ones that johnny falls in love with immediately- he has two jars on his desk now, one for butterscotch and one for ginger

raiden really likes sketching and coloring- lao bought him one of those adult coloring books with mandalas and really intricate shapes and raiden finished all of it in like two weeks- he used to sketch in his free time and has an entire sketchbook dedicated to drawings of lao and his features (a lot of his arms, hands, eyes, and smile) it's hidden under his mattress

kung lao shaves his own undercut when it gets too long- normally cant let it grow out for longer than two or three weeks. sometimes, raiden will offer to do it for him so they can spend a bit of time together and just talk and be close <3

johnny definitely really enjoys washing kenshi's hair- johnny has a bit of a curl to some of his hair but he never uses the products he's supposed to or the methods he's supposed to when it dries- so it's pretty straight, but kenshi's is pin straight and doesnt tangle the way his does sometimes, so he really loves running his hands through it and has even convinced kenshi a few times to sit so johnny could put coconut oil in it for him

johnny loves coconut flavored things and purposefully buys ice cream bars that have coconut cream based ice cream- kenshi was unaware of this and was offered one and said yes thinking that it was vanilla- kenshi does not like coconut, so it was a very sudden and unpleasant surprise

kenshi cuts fruits as his way of showing love very often- he washes and cuts fruits for himself when he's stressed but preps it for others out of love and will often take apple slices, peeled oranges, cut melon (of any kind), or strawberries and grapes up to johnny's in-home office while he's working

johnny buys kenshi small gifts year round and goes crazy for the holidays and his birthday- he asked kenshi how he would feel if johnny bought him (technically them) a house back in japan- kenshi drew his line in the sand and capped johnny's gift prices at $2k per holiday/birthday (which he had broken before)

raiden keeps taxidermy bugs!! he always loved butterflies as a kid and his first framed butterfly was a gift from lao

please excuse any typos, it's later in the day now and my eyes are a little strained- i hope this was comprehensible, lol

[dateamonster]

this halloween season im going on a journey of trying to understand art the clown. (talking At Length about the movies terrifier and, to a lesser degree, all hallows eve under the cut. so obligatory Spoilers warning goes here.)

when i first saw terrifier pop up as a title on netflix, i pretty much immediately wrote it off as a generic slasher/scary clown schlock movie, and for a while it seemed like that was the general consensus. i dont think i saw any real buzz about the terrifier movies until the second one came out, and after that it seemed like i blinked and the third one was already in theaters along with tons of art the clown merch and costumes on shelves. i did a little research about the general content of the movies and audience reactions, trying my best not to spoil myself in the process, and decided it was either the sheer grotesque spectacle winning people over in a "how much can you take before you puke" kinda way or there was really something to this series that i just wasnt seeing, and either one seemed like enough to make it worth the watch.

i figured if i was gonna do this i needed to go all in, so i started with all hallows eve, the movie art the clown actually first features in before going on to get his own franchise. theres not terribly much to say about this not-prequel. the art of all hallows eve shares some broad similarities with the final version and establishes a few reoccurring motifs: the use of a tv as a framing device, arts love of shit play and gruesome mutilations as performance. other than that, this version of art comes off as a lot more immediately supernatural in nature. hes sort of operating on a plane somewhere between looney tunes and the ring, apparating out of thin air with a sign cheerfully inviting you to see the circus one moment and hammering his fists on the inside of your tv screen the next. as an introduction to the franchise-to-be i think it sets the stage pretty well, but this is still very clearly a proto-art, not yet the real deal we will come to know.

moving on to the first terrifier movie, the first thing that jumps out is naturally the return of the tv, although this time we start on arts side of the screen in a nondescript location that seems to function as a green room where he readies himself for the next act. the lone survivor of arts apparent offscreen activities being interviewed on screen declares confidently that art is dead, that she personally saw it happen, but fans of classic slashers know that means very little. art could be a ghost, or a demon of some sort, but he could also be more of a michael meyers type boogieman, both human and innately unkillable until proven otherwise, or until his movies no longer brings in the crowds.

and thats something that, especially if youve started with all hallows eve, becomes very apparent right away: terrifier is a movie about movies, taking its inspiration from slashers and gory torture-centric horror of the late 90s and early 00s, which in turn evolved from the classic slashers of 70s and 80s. both the actions of art himself and the surreal horror-trope laden world he inhabits, from the dreamy-eyed woman cradling her porcelain doll child to the mutilated victim turned crazed killer herself, inform us that we are very much watching a movie, that everything we see is not reality nor meant to imitate it, but a shade of hyperreality that exists because we are choosing to watch and engage with it.

which comes back to the character of art himself. a clown, a mime, a performance artist who himself is literally Art. "he thinks its funny because hes laughing" explains the witness, or rather, by dressing and acting like a clown he turns murder into entertainment. you could also say this is what all movie slashers with their respective masks and gimmicks do for the audience. the delivery is what determines the tone is what determines how the performance is received is what determines what the action is. and what it is, is shit and smut and death. and what it is, is art.

currently my interpretation is that terrifier is a movie in conversation with horror movies as a whole. we're currently in a cultural moment where the so-called elevated A24 horror film reigns supreme, and while theres definitely still a place for over the top guts and gore in horror cinema, but theres a lingering stigma that labels this type of film unsophisticated at best and degenerate at worst. terrifier to me is taking the stance that no matter what you personally think of it you have to recognize that even a movie like this is a form of art, and that whether by simple shock value or by its messages or by the merit of the leading mans honestly very impressive silent performance, it has earned its place in popular culture.

at least until i watch the other movies and decide i hate them. we'll see what happens! ttyl!

[stereax]

is there a reason why Carolina is losing all their affiliates???

Other than being assholes to Erik Haula?

Okay, but in all seriousness, there's a short answer and a long one.

The short answer is two words long: Pyotr Kochetkov.

The long answer? Meet me under the cut.

Alright, hi there. So to answer this question fully, we need to talk about the AHL in depth. The AHL, or American Hockey League, is the second-highest league of North American pro hockey, under the NHL. Most people tend to believe it's just "where prospects play before they hit the NHL". This is... only a part of the story.

There are 32 teams in the AHL to match 32 NHL teams. The idea there is that every NHL team would have an AHL affiliate - the most recent expansion, for example, the Coachella Valley Firebirds, is the AHL affiliate for the newest NHL team, the Seattle Kraken. Many of these teams are owned by the same group as owns the NHL team - Harris Blitzer, for example, owns both the New Jersey Devils and the Utica Comets. Others don't - the AHL's Charlotte Checkers, for instance, are owned by Michael Kahn, whereas their NHL affiliate, the Florida Panthers, is owned by Sunrise Sports (aka Vincent Viola).

Why is this important? Well, if you're an NHL team that owns your AHL team, you can let that AHL team leak money. You're turning a good profit on the NHL team, so you don't have to make your AHL team economically viable on its own - you just put it in as a massive tax write-off and go on with your day. Thus, you can put all of your AHL team's resources into developing your AHL players to get ready to play at the NHL level. Of course you sign some vets and such of your own, maybe get a few undrafted guys for the AHL team too, but generally, an NHL-owned AHL team's sole purpose is to develop NHL players. Winning the Calder Cup (the AHL equivalent to the Stanley Cup, not to be confused with the Calder Memorial Trophy given to the best NHL rookie) is just gravy on top.

Contrast this to independently-owned AHL teams, where this is not the case. For these teams, making money is paramount. How do you make money? When you win. Fun fact - the Chicago Wolves, incidentally, used to be televised on main channels partially as a fuck you to Bill Wirtz, who didn't let the Chicago Blackhawks' home games be televised, presumably to drive ticket sales. The Wolves saw that and pounced on the opportunity to make some cash. So if nothing else, love them for sticking it to the Hawks. You can still watch Wolves games on My50, it seems, if you've got that channel, as well as AHL streaming options.

But back to independently-owned AHL teams before I go on my daily anti-Hawks crusade. You want to make money. You do that when you win. When you make the postseason. When you win in the postseason. Independently-owned AHL teams want to win, not necessarily develop for the NHL. So when your NHL team keeps taking your best player away for weeks and then giving him back... you get annoyed.

Now let's play Chicago Wolves Simulator. You are Don Levin and Buddy Meyers, the Wolves' owners. Your goal is to win the Calder Cup or at least come pretty damn close so you can pay the bills. You have a good team - hell, you won the Calder last year! - but your best asset is this star goaltender named Pyotr Kochetkov. When Koochie's in net, you usually win because he bails out your team. When he isn't there to help you win, you kind of don't. Now, Carolina's going through its own issues in net, so they keep calling Koochie up and down. And, as previously mentioned, you kind of suck without Koochie. To be fair, you're not all that great with him, but you suck without him. And you have no control over when he goes up to Carolina, even just to sit on the bench.

You miss the playoffs by one point. One. And your three-year contract with the Canes is up. What do you do?

Waddell Young, GM of the Wolves, says their philosophy and the Canes' fundamentally differed. The Wolves develop and win. Winning develops, to them. The Canes wanted the Wolves to focus solely on development. Not winning. So, when their deal with the Canes was up, the Wolves said "no thanks, we're not going to continue this, we're going independent". This decision makes them the first non-NHL affiliated team in almost 30 years. Now, this isn't to say all independently-owned AHL teams are doomed to fail in partnerships because of divergent philosophies. Look at the Hershey Bears and the Washington Capitals for a prime example of that - the Bears are one of the best teams in the AHL and have won four Calder Cups with the Caps as their affiliates since their affiliation began in 2005. But the Wolves were quite unhappy with the Canes, and so the two split. Also notable is that the Canes have also poisoned the waters with who should be their local AHL affiliate, the Charlotte Checkers, to the point where the Checkers affiliated with the Panthers instead. So... there's that.

So what can the Canes now do with non-roster players? They can affiliate with another AHL team (co-affiliation); one instance of this was when the Seattle Kraken affiliated with the Charlotte Checkers in 21-22 because the Coachella Valley Firebirds weren't yet ready. Supposedly the plan is to get an affiliate for 24-25. But what do they do this year? Especially if they can't find an affiliate to share, which seems more and more likely as the summer drags on? Well, you can't sign players to two-way deals with the Wolves anymore, so you can't really keep veterans around in the AHL to call up if needed. So you... sign nine defensemen to NHL contracts and carry them on the roster at all times. Yep. Don Waddell, Canes GM, has basically stated outright that his roster is probably going to have to carry 22 or 23 players at all times to be sure to have replacements in case of injury. And your prospects? They either go to Europe, where they're basically inaccessible for the whole year, or you loan them to other AHL clubs. Waddell has said plans are in place with several teams to send 2 or 3 players each to several different AHL clubs. For your youngest, they go back to major junior in the CHL and related leagues. Same for your veterans - if you want to keep them, you'll have to sign them one-way (I believe) and then loan them down to scattered AHL teams across the league. Prospects who you could have signed to play in the AHL and develop? You're probably going to have to let them go to free agency (see: Kevin Wall, leading player for Penn State and Carolina draft pick, who just inked a deal with the Milwaukee Admirals, AHL affiliate of the Nashville Predators). And then you can send your worse prospects to your ECHL tea- wait. Oops. They just lost that too. Can't do that either. Well, shit.

And remember, one of the Canes' biggest assets is their system of play (with strong defense) that they execute well. The Wolves needed to teach their players the Canes' system and prepare them so the jump from AHL to NHL wouldn't be that tough. The Canes put their coaches on the Wolves for that purpose (the Wolves have since cleaned house and instated their own). Loaning your players to another AHL team? Why would that team be incentivized to teach your player(s) the system? So now even when you're calling up someone to play for the Canes, you have no idea how well they know the system and no idea how well they can play in it.

This now begs the other question - how will the Wolves fill their roster? Well, they've got options. Generally, an AHL team takes the prospects of its NHL affiliate and then fills the rest of the roster with AHL veteran free agents that the AHL team signs to AHL-only deals. But without an NHL team, it's a smidge more complicated, or perhaps easier. Firstly, other NHL teams can loan their prospects to the Wolves instead of their own AHL teams if they consider the Wolves better at developing them, for instance. The Wolves can now also sign whatever free agent players they find roaming around that could be a good fit for their team - undrafted college players, good ECHL players that can't seem to get called up enough, AHL veterans, players on European teams (especially Russians who might want the chance to get the fuck out of Russia) and so on. These free agent players could see the Wolves as a stable AHL team that can pay solid money (the AHL doesn't have a cap) with a strong chance at contending for the Calder as well as a possible stepping stone to an NHL contract. The Wolves also don't have to worry about these free agents taking ice time away from the Canes' prospects, who would need to be prioritized under an affiliation, which would also be a strong incentive for AHL free agent veterans to sign with them - they'd be able to get a truly fair chance, unlike under an affiliate system where prospects are the priority and free agents are generally playing fewer (and worse) minutes.

And remember - Chicago just drafted Bedard. The city's getting back into hockey and Hawks tickets are expensive. Want to watch some quality hockey on the cheap? Why not come to Wolves games! They're only 18 miles away from the Hawks, too!

Let's now talk about the ECHL and the Norfolk Admirals. Thankfully, this is going to be a lot simpler. The ECHL, unlike the AHL, has only 28 teams. This means 4 NHL teams don't have an ECHL team. In addition, very few, if any, ECHL teams are owned by their NHL affiliates. This further incentivizes them to play for profit (winning the Kelly Cup, the ECHL version of the Stanley Cup) instead of development. On top of this, relatively few ECHL players actually make it to the NHL. ECHL affiliates change fairly frequently, especially due to many of the teams folding because of financial issues (most recently the Brampton Beast, Manchester Monarchs, and Quad City Mallards). So if an ECHL team decides to drop its NHL affiliate, or vice versa, there are four other suitors, all of whom would probably want to pay the ECHL team decent money to be their associate. For the Admirals, it's easy - they see the Canes lose their AHL affiliate and decide they'd rather take the Jets' offer instead, whether it be for the money (Carolina's supposedly notoriously stingy) or for the security. It's just really fucking funny that it happens at the same time Carolina loses their AHL team. Get fucked lol.

TL;DR stan the Wolves for rejecting the system. Canes Suck.

[tigerincahoots]

closed starter for: @dethenryquinn

IT WAS HALLOWEEN NIGHT. That one time of the year when all the fucking psychos would go even more psycho than usual and end up making a mess of things. Just ask Michael Meyers and Art, the Clown in that department. And Kevin HATED Halloween with a burning passion. He respected the whole spun tales on how the veil between the dead and the living became thinner that day – he had seen some shit – but he absolutely despised the insurmountable number of brats running around and ringing bells asking for a trick or treat. The only good thing about that was that he was working that night. Not that detective work was for him but new assignments required new rules and he had to pose as a damn homicide detective to track down the monster he was supposed to neutralize. His background had been flawlessly constructed to fit the bill and now...? Now he was just playing the waiting game in his office alongside his new-but-maybe-not-that-much partner.

HE FUCKING HATED BEING SOCIAL.

”HOW TYPICAL IS IT FOR A MURDER TO HAPPEN TONIGHT?” His question is carefree. His glance turns to the other detective – Henry Quinn - as Kevin tosses random coloured gummy bears into the air to catch them with an open mouth. He would much rather be out there. Hunting. That’s what he was good at. Tracking people down and bringing them back dead or alive. The waiting game was not for him. Being idle drove him insane, which could be reflected in the occasional grumpy comment addressed to no one. “Like, are we just supposed to stay here? Sitting down, scratching our balls and comparing dick sizes while waiting for someone to just call us?” Gods, that shit was tedious. “We hit the road back on my old precinct.” A lie but he needed to play his role as a detective. “Fuck knows how many psychos are going out tonight. And I am not talking about the brats…”

[stusautisticgf]

stu macher smut and fluff oneshot

DISCLAIMER: this work contains dubious consent as verbal consent is not given, but the reader enjoys it

KINKS: knife play, exhibitionism, mask kink, masochism, sadism, predator/prey, body worship

it’s been long day after long day. you’ve been trying to save up for a new car since you totaled your first one in the first week you got it.

it’s just for a little bit, just a few more weeks.

it’ll all be worth it when you’re able to buy the car you’ve been eyeing for the last few months.

you kick your shoes off and start getting ready for bed. you gather your pajamas; a long white nightgown decorated with pink flowers that reached down to your mid-calf.

after washing your face, you make some popcorn. you wish your parents were here, but your mom and dad are at a work party. it seemed like they cared about work more than you these days.

soon, the popcorn gets done and you take it off the stove, putting it into a bowl. you sit down on the couch and start flickering through the channels. you see that the exorcist is on, one of your favorites. you watch it, even though the good parts were cut out to make it suitable for tv. you had finished your popcorn and the commercials just started, the perfect opportunity to get a refill. as you get up, you hear the phone ring.

“hello”

“hello there who is this”

“y/n, why?”

“i just wanna talk to someone”

“they have 900 numbers for that y’know?”

“do you like scary movies?”

“well yes i do, they’re my favorite”

“what’s your favorite?”

“i don’t know”

“you have to have a favorite”

“then (your fav horror movie)”

“good choice, i like the one where the guy with the knife fingers kills a bunch of teens

nightmare on elm street?”

“yes, yes that one”

“the first one was good but the second was horrible”

“wanna play a game?”

“no, i’m hanging up”

sigh it’s probably just another creep from school or a prank. it’s near halloween, so the time is ripe for prank calls. rolling your eyes, you start to prepare more popcorn on the stove. waiting for the popcorn to finish cooking, you grab a bottle of soda from the fridge.

quickly turning off the heat, you get your popcorn bowl as your popcorn had gotten done sooner than normal.

ouch you burned your hand and holy fuck did it hurt.

all of a sudden, the house phone rings, so the phone is reluctantly picked up.

“hello again princess”

“hello? why do you keep calling me it’s seriously not funny”

“i’m not trying to be funny.”

“who are you?”

“why do you wanna know?”

“you’re seriously scaring me, i’m gonna hang up”

before you can hang up, the strange man has some choice words.

“you hang up on me again you worthless fucking whore and i’ll gut you like the pig you are.”

“okay okay what do you want”

“i wanna play a game with you. if you get any questions wrong, i’ll give you a little surprise. trust me, you’ll like it.”

you rub your thighs together, how condescending he sounded was hot, so it wasn’t surprised how desperate you were starting to get.

“rubbing your thighs together so soon? but we just started baby.”

you were so embarrassed as you didn’t even realize he was watching you. it made you even more horny.

“warm up question. who is the killer in nightmare on elm street?”

“easy, freddy kruger”

“good girl, you got it right. not hard as you thought? first question, who is the killer in Halloween?”

“Michael Meyers”

“right again! now for the last question, who is the killer in friday the 13?”

“um, jason”

“wrong slut! it’s his mother, mrs voorhes! jason doesn’t show up until the sequel”

oh fuck! you were really getting scared now, you didn’t know what he was gonna do, even though you were so horny you could barely put two sentences together. this man knew what he was doing. your thoughts were interrupted by glass shattering.

terrified, you start running and locking all of your doors. you run into your room and into your closet, trying to be as quiet as possible.

creak

the familiar sound of the stairs creaking, he was upstairs. you hoped he wouldn’t find you. but, then again, your bedroom was the first bedroom and he probably knows it’s yours.

shit.

he opened your door and you knew that it was just a matter of time before he found you. holding your breath and making sure you’re hidden, you hope that he gives up and leaves. he’s wearing a ghostface costume and black boots, just like the woodsboro killer wore when he attacked steve and casey last night.

“i know you’re in here, but where are you? what about here?”

as he opened the closet door, making eye contact. he grabs your hand and picks you up.

“please don’t hurt me”

“oh i won’t, now shut up”

you would be lying if you didn’t like how rough he was with you, how he was treating you like the piece of trash you are.

“i know you like it slut, i know you like how i’m treating you like the filthy bitch you are. why you’re practically soaked. so horny for someone you’re supposedly so scared of. that little cunt of yours is practically radiating heat. you’re practically begging for my cock”

“please fuck me, please. i need your cock please”

he took the knife he was wearing under his long black costume and slowly traced up and down your body, collarbones to your lower abdomen.

“bet you love it when i run this big, sharp, scary knife down your body, don’t you puppy?”

he was so perfect, he knew exactly how to turn you on. you loved knife play, it’s one of your biggest secret turn ons. with your pussy practically aching, you were desperate to get fucked.

“you’re gonna have to wait to get fucked, princess. i’ve got to at least finger your needy cunt first”

he promptly took off your clothes. he started to touch all around your pussy, feeling it’s warmth. he started rubbing your clit slowly while using his other gloved hand to slightly graze your hole. seeing as you had grown even more needy, he started slowly fingering you with his index and middle fingers. after a minute, he quickened the pace.

“gonna cum, slut?”

“mhm, yes” you barely managed to say

“so soon? you weren’t lying when you said you wanted my cock so bad. don’t cum until i say so. and not a moment sooner, got it?”

you shake your head up and down, nodding in agreement.

you didn’t know how much longer you could hold it

“i don’t know how long i can hold it for”

“you can do it, you’re doing so good”

“please let me cum, please i can’t take it anymore”

“cum for me, good girl”

it would be a lie if you didn’t say that it was the best orgasm you had in a while, this man was good. you hear his belt buckle hit against itself, and he pulled his fat veiny cock out. seeing his hard cock, you became eager and determined for him to fuck you right then and there. he slowly put his cock in and started thrusting, groaning in pleasure. he looked you in the eyes with such warmth. it was quite strange since he was being so rough with you a few moments ago. you shook it off, thinking it was just a heat of the moment thing.

“you’re such a good girl for me, you’ve wanted this haven’t you baby?”

after not even a moment of silence he shouted,

“answer me slut”

“yes i have, i’ve wanted this”

then, ghostface looked up from you and remembered the mirror that was right across from your bed. he turned you over and picked you up, so you were sitting on his cock with your hair in his fist.

“look at yourself, whore. look how pathetic and desperate you are for me. and that pretty little wet cunt,” the man said, grabbing your face with his free hand.

you were looking at yourself in the mirror, your mascara was running down your face, you were sweaty and he was right, you looked so pathetic. though, you couldn’t deny how hot it was seeing how much control he had over you and how desperate he made you.

this time though, the thrusts were deeper and rougher.

“enjoying how rough i’m being baby? i know you love it when i treat you like the cumdump you are baby. i know all you want is to cum and have me breed you. isn’t that right baby?”

“yes, it’s true. i’m just a stupid bitch who wants to be bred. please breed me,”

“good girl, you know your place don’t you baby?”

the masked man says, as his free hand now holds his knife. he holds it against your throat, far enough away where it won’t harm you.

“yes, i do”

“look at those fucking tits baby, they’re so fucking perfect. you’re so fucking perfect baby, i just wanna cut you so bad” he says, outlining them with the knife.

his thrusts became faster and his breathing became fast paced, you could tell he was close.

“does my stupid little cumdump wanna come baby? you’re clenching around my cock so hard” he says, rubbing your clit in slow circles.

“yes please, let me cum. i wanna cum, please please please,”

“cum for me baby, come on my cock and i’ll breed you baby,”

just before you come, he takes out a camera.

“look into the lens while you come slut”

obeying his orders, he took the picture of you coming together. you two were exaughsted. he pulled out and picked up the camera and placed the picture on your nightstand so it could develop.

“i’ll help you clean up.”

“look at those fucking tits baby, they’re so fucking perfect. you’re so fucking perfect baby, i just wanna cut you so bad” he says, outlining them with the knife.

his thrusts became faster and his breathing became fast paced, you could tell he was close.

“does my stupid little cumdump wanna come baby? you’re clenching around my cock so hard” he says, rubbing your clit in slow circles.

“yes please, let me cum. i wanna cum, please please please,”

“cum for me baby, come on my cock and i’ll breed you baby,”

just before you come, he takes out a camera.

“look into the lens while you come slut”

obeying his orders, he took the picture of you cumming together. you two were exaughsted. he pulled out and picked up the camera and placed the picture on your nightstand so it could develop.

“i’ll help you clean up.”

he says as he picks you up bridal style to your bathroom so he could run you a nice warm bubble bath. he picks you up and sets you gently in the bath, cleaning you with a wash rag after taking off his gloves. then, he takes off the rest of his outfit including his mask.

“stu? it’s you?”

“yes, it’s me y/n. why? are you unhappy that i was the one that fucked you?”

“no! not at all, i was just surprised since you’re dating tatum and all”

“she’s not important, i want you”

it’s silent for a few moments, but you look him in the eyes and see the warmth and love in them. he’s so happy right now, even though he’s just washing you off.

“y’know y/n. i’ve always liked you. i just didn’t think you would go out with me because you would think i was using you or something or that you didn’t like me back.”

“stu, i like you too. i was about to tell you, but you started dating tatum and i didn’t wanna ruin it”

“i love you y/n”

“i love you too, stu” you say as he bends down to kiss you. you had no idea that he was this caring and sweet, since he was a man whore.

soon enough, you were ready to get out of the bath. stu dressed you in a nightgown and you fell asleep together watching tv on the couch.

[willtasker]

NYCC 2024: A (Redacted) Review

I had planned out NYCC months ago, back when they announced Hayley Atwell in the spring. Everything else in 2024 had the volume turned down after that announcement. And with time, they also announced some of the cast of Starship Troopers and then Rachael Leigh Cook.

I'm happy to say that everyone was wonderful, glowing even. Some maybe a little more than others but over all, this was by far the best year I had at a convention in terms of people just being... nice.

So foremost is that I overbooked myself. Five cast members from Starship Troopers was at the same table and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that slip by. I had to go Thursday, as Dina Meyer ((see above)) was only there for one day only. She was an absolute sweetheart, despite trying to duck out to make her plane on time. I almost walked away before they called me back because I forgot to take this photo with her. "Give me some sass" is what I heard in my ear over the deafening crowd and ... well, its not my worst photo but certainly not my favorite either. But she has these huge, chonky glasses I wish she'd kept on for the photos.

Michael Ironside was incredible. I've been a fan of his for decades and despite having a voice like a gravel quarry and that constant sneer painted over his face, he was very funny and very warm. He noticeably perked up when I mentioned his performance in "Crime & Punishment In Suburbia" and how Roger Ebert said it was the best work of his career. He nodded in approval, "I'm glad someone saw that. The director is a a good friend of mine."

Casper Van Dien was ... actually exactly what I suspected. He was standing in front of his table, talking to everyone, pitching the new SST Extermination game. He's high energy, happy to see you, quick with a joke.

Unfortunately, I didn't get a lot of time with either Seth Gilliam or Denise Richards. Seth was on his way out but seemed to be overly kind with everyone there? Does that make sense? Denise was rushing to get out because she had some sort of socialite appointment elsewhere in NYC but she was trying so hard to be accommodating and patient with people. I think she was aware of what her legacy is with men of a certain age. I purposely didn't take too long at her table - it was 7 pm and everyone was tired - and I think she appreciated the fact I didn't make a bad pass at her or stop the line for 5 minutes to show her art I had done in the hopes she'd follow my Instagram (witnessed both of these things happen in real time).

Now on to the main event:

I didn't know what to expect from Hayley. I'd never met anyone who had interacted with her, so I was a little pensive at first. I had brought two photos for her to sign - the one above I had blown up to an egregious size - but it was the other one that rang her bell.

The person running the cashbox passed my photos down and said "Hayley we have some very nice photos from this gentle..."

"This is from Howard's End!" Her eyes popped, a mix of genuine surprise and appreciation behind them.

We talked a little bit about her Margaret Schlegel versus the 1992 movie. She asked me a couple of small questions before we really hit it off on something I wouldn't expect: I told her how I found a lot of American television too "active" and how much comfort I found in rewatching not only Howard's End but just UK television in general. She sized me up quietly before agreeing, telling me she watches the same handful of shows over and over to unwind, as a comfort.

She signed the Howard's End photo first (not pictured here, I've determined it is a little too personal), then the above photo before going back to the first photo with "May I add a quote to this?"

I was left with words in my mouth for a second. I managed to say "Please!" once my brain rebooted and she said "I loved this character so much. And this quote." After we said our goodbyes - she's so effusive, high energy - I quietly found a corner of the convention hall to see she'd written "Only Connect" under her name and I sighed like an old dog sleeping on a cold kitchen floor.

I later had a photo op with her. I look pretty stiff and not my best but I've taken worse photos. She was extremely gentle with everyone in line, I think getting a sense that most everyone was having the same "Holy shit, thats Hayley Atwell" realization.

Finally, and certainly not the least of all...

Rachael Leigh Cook came out an hour late, wearing a cream colored sweater and necklace. Laugh as you must, gentle reader, but I'm absolutely going to my therapist this week to ask why a stranger like herself is so completely nice to everyone (but especially: why is she nice to me). She's the type who touches people on the hand or arm as they talk - she hugged the couple in front of me when they mentioned their engagement - and she has this natural ... I honestly don't know what to call it - grace? vibe? spirit? ... that makes the cold hearth of my soul blaze like a Christmas fireplace. I don't mean to suggest theres any sort of connection, simply that she gives off a vibe of generosity and familiarity that I've only ever felt with old girlfriends.

I thanked her for her performance in Stateside, which made her eyebrows go up like a Tex Avery cartoon, and complimented her on getting her character's diagnosis so wonderfully right. She listened to me, stopped writing, listened some more, would write some more. I'd hate to think I somehow overwhelmed her - I am often told I don't "play my cards" despite my being afraid I'm overplaying them - but she was sincere and gentle, her voice this almost ASMR tone. We took a selfie (THAT photo looks awful, I need to learn to not only pose in photos but not to cock my head away from the other person) and later a photo op (Which looks better! But like the one with Hayley, I look rigid compared to her practiced grace) where she invited me into her hooked arm with a "Hey you, wow, sharp dresser!" and straightened the front of my shirt with a pinch.

And finally! Mystery solved?

This is an update for @justrachaelleighcook - this photo was taken at Cannes! She'd not seen Anna in some time and the press (or whoever was behind the camera) asked for a photo together! "I've never seen this photo but I remember taking it because Bookies was running out of competition". So that dates this photo as 2002? (She'd also not heard Anna had been unwell of late and regarded what little I said with a bit of a furrowed brow.)

Needless to say I wish I had more time to talk to her but I'm forever aware theres a line of people behind me hoping for some time as well.

It was an exhausting two days at NYCC. I probably spent 15 hours there and of that, more than 13 hours was standing in lines. Overall, it was one of the - if not THE - smoothest and more effortless visits to a convention I've ever had. If any of them come back around, I'd love to meet them again. <3

[revryebread]

yadda yadda everyone else is out getting donuts or something this aint about them

“I wasn’t born under a rock!” He tried protesting, but was only greeted with jeers and a shove backwards. Alphonse Elric reaches back with one arm to brace himself and bumps soundly into a beanbag chair. 

Rachel was standing above him and shaking her head. “It’s worse than a rock, you were born in like- 1890 or something.”  She stood over him like a large playful dog cornering something much smaller. There was no ill will, but Al could tell he did not have an advantage here. 

“It’s not- I was born in 1910.” Factual accuracy did not win him any points, and a prolonged raised eyebrow was used against him like a torch. He backed down- “Fine. I’m uncultured.” Rachel nodded sagely. “We agree. Make room.”

It was the arts and crafts car again, Rachel had wheeled out a black box on a trolley- Al had been around long enough now to understand a TV. Not how it worked, necessarily, but that it would show images and sound. He had seen them in the Casino, and a shopping mall car that he had visited with Rachel and the gang earlier.

Occasionally, there were times when the- was it an age difference? No, they were both the same age, it’s just the time between them, the worlds they’re from. Those things were so different it made him feel ancient compared to Rachel. But he tried to roll with the punches of new technology, especially when others seemed so confident about it.

He scooted in the beanbag, which was its own feat of strength and contortion, and Rachel plopped down next to him with the remote and turned on the TV. He could hear a loud click, and a thrum. An image slowly lit up the screen- green text on a forest background, and the kind of music he imagined Shigeo would listen to started to play.

“They didn’t have much in here but I got what I could.” Rachel explained, not looking at Al but the TV. She gesticulated with the remote and Al watched her as she talked. Until her gaze moves from the television to him, and she holds his eyeline for a moment. In a moment of what is read as irritation, Rachel makes a motion with her shoulders and eyebrows that makes Al flinch, and she nods at the TV like she’s chiding him. “You need to watch. I am not going to sit through Shrek by myself.”

Sheepish- he turns his head back towards the screen. There was something impressive about the technology at play, and the scientific part of his brain was trying to understand it. Eventually though, he just gave way to actually watching the story play out infront of him.

----

It was about thirty minutes in when an intrusive thought wormed it’s way into Al’s head and out of his mouth.

“Do you think he’s here?” Al asked, Rachel’s head jerked up from the resting position it was drifting towards and she looked at him. “Michael Meyers?” Incredulous. Absurd. 

“No, no- Shrek. That guy.” Al pointed at the ogre on the screen freeing fairy tale animals.. “He’s troubled. We’ve seen adults. This is a story, right? We’re from stories. Is he on the train?” His brain was  Rachel looked between him and the screen, mouth agape. “That’s ridiculous. He- He can’t be right?” It was clearly enough to break her cool demeanor, and she looked off into the distance for a moment to mouth the words, deciding they tasted foul in her mouth. Is Shrek on the train…

The two of them sat there in silence for a moment- the sounds of Shrek and Donkey arguing about whether or not waffles will be made filling the space between them, and they both start to laugh. 

“He makes it out of this better- but Donkey, I think he’s on the train.” Rachel speaks in a voice that offers no chance for questions, Al responds with giggles. 

“Could you turn into Donkey?” 

“I could turn into a Donkey right now.”

“It wouldn’t be an animated Donkey though it would be a donkey like you.” 

“Do you think I can differentiate between animated and not?”

The two of them cackle and push each other on the bean bag,  and the way they watch this movie changes for the rest of it. Lord Farquad is definitely in the Apex. Fiona got on the train right when she goes Ogre for the first time. They switch to another movie after that and the same thing goes, slow piles of popcorn containers and soda cans growing around them as the night moves on.

--------

Eventually, Rachel is on the beanbag alone and Al is looking through DvD’s on a shelf behind her calling out titles to get her opinions. 

“Jurassic World?”

“What do you mean world? It’s a park.”

“Star Wars?”

“That’s for nerds- I am not going to lower myself to that.”

“So-” Al pauses, reading the box of a blue dvd and squinting at it. Rachel notes the cut off- “So what? What’s the title?” She turns around to see Al holding the case. “Sonic 2.” He looks at the blue little hedgehog on the front and looks to Rachel. “Shadow knew this guy.” He said softly. Carrying it over and sitting back down.

“Is he in it?”

Al looks at the back of the box, “I don’t… I don’t think so? He’s not on here at least. He would have made them give him top billing.” He smiles a bit thinking about it. 

Rachel can tell he’s getting in his head, and so asks the obvious question. “Want to watch it?” He sighs, flipping the box back over again. “It’s weird when it’s someone I know, right? Or I mean- It’s his life, kind of.”

Rachel shrugs and sinks into the cushion, looking up at the ceiling. “I mean, it could just be an interpretation of his life, right? He said he was from a video game.” Al nods, as if he’s just choosing to accept this. “Hmm. This is a movie. You’re right. I think.”

They choose to watch it,  and during the credits scene Al is on his feet and yelling.

[jell0buss-37]

My Peter B headcannons!

General HCs, however I will take requests for different HCs (only for Headcannons rn though 👀)

He's a reporter rather than a physicist in his universe.

He was probably more of a jock type, who knew more about sports. When he got bitten he got more active, but never played any team sports because he was still scared of his bullies.

He had asthma before he was bitten.

He loves the color blue, but specifically navy blue.

Loves classic rock, but like 70s sort of classic rock, so definitely more of a Kinks, Rolling Stones, Queen sorta fan.

In his Universe, Harry was his Green Goblin.

He's very emotional.

He is a HUGE horror movie buff.

Is actually a very big bookworm, especially mystery books. Growing up he was a big Sherlock Holmes fan.

His parents were actually alive, but they couldn't take care of him, and so they sent him to live with his Aunt and uncle when he was 5.

He's actually from Nebraska.

He's not a fan of his birthday, so he never makes a big deal about it.

Also gets butthurt when nobody makes a big deal about it.

His universes Gwen was actually a babysitter he had a fat crush on when he was 9. She was 8 years older than him.

He likes funny women, it makes his stomach flip whenever a spunky woman can joke with him.

More of a grease monkey than a lab rat, however he somehow is and actual whizz when it comes to many subjects. Except for Arts of any sort. He actually is not creative at all.

He has the most useless facts stored in his head, it can literally be the most out of pocket thing ever, and yet doesn't know basic things.

"Did you know that Pelicans can pull their spines through their unhinged jaws to cool off?" ".... Peter wha-"

"What do pelicans eat?" "Idk, broccoli?"

He can't sing or dance for the life of him.

But he can play the harmonica

And he likes colorful drinks. Alcoholic drinks or not.

That and Root Beer

An absolute Mug Root beer fiend

Also really good at video games, doesn't matter what game, he picks it up so fast

Looks like big dumb, but really that's just him not caring.

Has a fear of Michael Cera.

"Where are his eyebrows???"

Is literally just Nick Miller, actually.

He's a cat dad

His cat's name is Tyler

"I am sick of Tyler just jumping into the shower and getting freaked out and scratching me-" "Woah, WHAT?? Like your roommate!?" "No. My cat. Why would my roommate attack me-"

Uses punctuation when he texts so you can never tell what tone he's using when he texts

'omw now want me to get u smth from the store'

'No. Drive safe.' (so menacing???)

Has a Ned in his universe that is his office buddy at the Daily Bugle

Ned is an intern and he and Peter have horror movie marathons, and he is also an artist

Peter can't drive. Also he's literally Spiderman so that doesn't matter anyway. But if you ask him, he will not know how to drive. He fixes cars, doesn't drive them.

Never went to college, but got a degree in quantum physics online

That and a wedding licence as spiderman. He thought it'd be funny if Spider-Man could officiate weddings

Is actually scared of kids until Miles

After Miles, he is so good with kids

In his mind

Is writing his own book about a detective from New Orleans (iykyk)

Is Irish-Italian

Likes Baseball a lot because it reminds him of his Uncle Ben

His universe doesn't have reality TV

He's also a DM for Ned's DND group

Totally LARPs, but doesn't admit it

Doesn't like Apple sauce and hasn't eaten it since he was 8 because he ate too much of it and threw it up

Genuinely loves his friends interests, and will genuinely try them out or watch whatever it is they like so they can gush together or debate

Has a barber shop he goes to where he just talks with the old men there, he's been going since he was 12 because Uncle Ben took him

Can Bake really good and sew because of May

He actually asked her to teach him these skills

Has a dream to live in the Oscar Meyer Weiner mobile one day

[writingdumpster]

Jackie and Wilson

Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader

Warnings: None, I think.

Summary: Eddie wrote the Hozier song Jackie and Wilson about you in this fic bc i don’t know how to make up song lyrics.

A/N: I'm crushing on a musician rn so i wrote this. i really like it idk.

Word Count: 1.8k

Eddie had been playing his acoustic guitar intermittently, leaning up against your headboard as you worked on an essay for one of your community college classes. He only used his acoustic guitar when he was writing songs. He wasn’t singing though. He usually sang as he played. Usually he wrote his lyrics before even thinking about melody or rhythm, like a poet who happened to be a metalhead. You stretched as you put your pencil down. Eddie looked over at you.

“Done?” He asked.

“No, but I want to take a break,” you said. Eddie smiled brightly when you met his eyes, approaching the bed. Eddie quickly gathered up his notebook and music sheets, moving them to the side. You laid down beside him snuggled into his side, resting your hand on his thigh, and closed your eyes. His guitar was still settled in his arms.

“Sing your new song to me, Eds,” you requested. Eddie blushed, unbeknownst to you.

“It’s…uh…it’s not done,” he muttered.

“Sing me what you have,” you asked. “I like hearing you sing.” Eddie’s blush darkened.

“It’s not good enough yet,” Eddie told you.

“Don’t say that, Eddie,” you replied quickly. “You’re always good enough.” Eddie smiled softly despite the anxiety he was feeling about sharing his song with you.

“Thank you, sweet thing,” Eddie said.

“Sing to me, please,” you asked again.

“I only have a few parts done,” he said. “But uh…it goes like this…” Eddie started strumming a melody on his guitar. It wasn’t his normal metal style though, it was the blues style that you often listened to. He hummed along to the melody where he didn’t have words yet and then after a few bars he began singing.

“She blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild…”

It was the Fourth of July. Eddie had gone to the quarry in the hopes of avoiding the crowd, but still being able to see the fireworks. When he got to his usual spot, there were no other cars around. He would be alone.

But when he approached his usual look out spot, you were there. You were illuminated by moonlight. He’d never seen someone so beautiful. That was what made his heart drop. He was sure you’d be another person to call him a freak. He turned around to find somewhere else to watch the fireworks from.

“You can stay. This is the best view,” you called. Eddie froze. He didn’t think you had seen him. He turned back to face you.

“I don’t want to bother you,” Eddie said.

“It’s alright,” you said. “I’d like the company.” This time Eddie heard your voice waver a bit. He decided to join you. He’d never made a better decision.

When he got close enough that night he saw that there were tear streams on your cheeks and your eyes were red and puffy. He sat down in silence.

“I’m Eddie,” he introduced himself.

“Y/N,” you told him.

“I’ve never seen you before,” he said.

“I just moved here,” you said. “Actually, if you know a cheap place for rent or somewhere that’s hiring I’d love to know.” Eddie was quiet for a moment. You were clearly in the midst of something serious.

“Are you alright?” He asked after a moment. Before you could answer a firework shot up into the air, golden glitter sparkling throughout the sky. There was a small quiet before the next rocket was shot off. You took the brief pause of explosions to reply.

“Let’s just enjoy this moment. We’re never going to forget it.”

Your eyes widened when you realized that this song was about you. And by the style of it, it was for you as well. Eddie kept singing.

“...Laughing away through my feeble disguise…”

Eddie would never forget the way you laughed when he walked out of Max’s house with her Michael Meyers mask. You had been standing watch while everyone talked out the next move. Everything seemed to be going to hell, but you still had your sense of humor. You were still the sweet and funny woman he’d fallen in love with.

Eddie hummed a bit more, mumbling a few words that he wasn’t sure he liked yet before he began singing again.

”…And lord she found me just in time

She's gonna save me, call me ‘baby…’”

Eddie would never forget that you saved him. He wouldn’t forget that you dragged him out of the upside down and saved him. He didn’t remember much of that moment, the blood loss was too much for his mind. What he remembered was waking up to you holding his hand in a hospital bed while you were reading “The Lord of the Rings” to him. He remembered the way your voice was heavy and sad while you read.

“Hey, beautiful,” Eddie croaked. Your eyes shot up from the book.

“Baby!” Your voice was light and happy. “You’re awake!”

“I’m awake,” Eddie agreed softly. Tears began slipping down your cheeks. “Oh, no. Angel, don’t cry,” he begged.

“I’m sorry. I just thought I was going to lose you."

“What happened?” He asked. Your expression dropped and you scowled.

“You did something incredibly brave and saved a lot of people, and if you ever do something like that again I’ll kill you, Munson,” you said fiercely. Eddie chuckled.

“So it worked out?”

Eddie hummed a few more bars as you were tearing up.

“...Run her hands through my hair…”

Eddie would never forget the first time he felt your fingers tangling into his mane of curls, gently scratching his scalp as your lips were shoved against his. You had been making out in the back of his van, hiding out there during your lunch break. You hadn’t been together long at that point. When you tugged on his hair he moaned. You leaned away to giggle. For some reason that was it. He knew right then that he belonged to you.

“Don’t laugh at me!” Eddie whined.

“I’m not laughing…I just… I like you a lot,” you said softly. Eddie blushed.

“I like you a lot too,” he told you.

“Good. Now keep kissing me.”

You had sat up to look at Eddie at this point, but he was avoiding looking at you, still nervous about your reaction to the song.

“...She'll know me crazy, soothe me daily

Better yet, she wouldn't care…”

Eddie would never forget when he came home crying. He dropped his backpack on the floor when he got into the trailer and immediately headed for his room. He didn’t notice you sitting on his couch as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“Eddie?” You called softly. Eddie froze. “What’s wrong?” You asked. He turned to see you.

“Why aren’t you at work?” He deflected.

“Got off early,” you told him. “I wanted to see you.” He sniffled.

“Give me a minute to get changed,” Eddie choked out. Before he could reach his door you had caught his hand, keeping him with you.

“Baby, what happened?” You asked softly, raising your free hand to wipe his tears and cup his cheek.

“It’s nothing,” Eddie said. “Just talk. I don’t know why it’s getting to me this time.” His voice was off. He was lying.

“Eddie,” you protested. That was enough for him to fold when it came to you.

“People were saying I’m not good enough for you.” You frowned. “They were saying I’m a freak and you’re…well, you’re perfect. And they’re right.”

“You are not a freak and you are more than good enough for me,” you said immediately. “You’re perfect and you’re perfect for me. I can’t imagine anyone better,” you said firmly. You pulled his head down to lean his forehead against yours and put both your hands on his cheeks. His hands slid around your waist, pulling your body close against his.

“I don’t know if anyone else thinks that,” Eddie murmured.

“I don’t care what anyone else thinks. All that matters is what we feel for each other,” you told him.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “I…know…I’m good enough for you,” he added unconvincingly.

“You are. I’ll tell you everyday if that’s what you need, Eds.”

“...We’ll steal her Lexus, be detectives

Ride round picking up clues…”

Eddie would never forget when you pulled up to Reefer Rick’s in your dad’s Lexus. Eddie had been terrified all night, but there you were to help him figure out what was happening. There you were, by his side, like you would always be. You wrapped him in your arms tightly and looked him over for injuries, knowing that he was prone to ignoring them on account of not liking doctors.

“I’m okay,” Eddie told you. You raised an eyebrow.

“Okay?” You repeated.

“Yes, sweetheart. You’re here now. I’m okay.”

“Does anyone else know you’re here?” You asked.

“No,” he said. “Just you.” Just then Steve Harrington’s car pulled up. Before long you and Eddie were caught up on the alternate dimension beneath Hawkins. And not long after that Eddie was tucked into your Dad’s car, laying on the floor of the backseat as you drove off, on your way to prove Eddie innocent and save the day.

“...We’ll name our children Jackie and Wilson

Raise them on Rhythm and Blues…”

“That’s as far as I’ve gotten,” Eddie said as he put the guitar to the side. He finally turned his eyes up to look at you and saw your face doused in tears. “Sweetheart?”

“Eddie, you wrote a song for me,” you whispered. Eddie smiled proudly.

“Course I did,” Eddie said. “You’re my muse, princess.”

“I can’t believe you did this. It’s amazing,” you told him.

“It’s not finished yet,” he said.

“You can do whatever you want with the rest,” you said, wiping away another tear. “All of that was perfect.” Eddie smiled.

“It's not too hard to write a perfect song when you’re writing about a perfect person,” Eddie said. You smiled. You crawled forward, straddled him, and wrapped your arms around his neck. You kissed him passionately. Your lips moved in harmony and your tongues traced each other perfectly. You melted into the kiss. You sighed softly as you leaned away.

“You have to record a copy of that for me when you’re done,” you said. Eddie smiled.

“It’s supposed to be your anniversary gift,” he said. “You can’t hear anymore of it until I’m done now.” You grinned widely.

“How am I supposed to compete with that?”

“Honey, if all you do that day is call me you win,” Eddie said. You ignored this.

“I’ll figure it out, Munson. I’ll get you a perfect gift too,” you said assuredly. He chuckled.

“Don’t need a gift,” Eddie said. “You’re the perfect gift, sweetheart.”

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Is It Really That Bad?

It’s hard to believe nowadays, but there was a time where the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp duo was known for delivering nothing but certified bangers. Edward Scissorhands, Ed Wood, Sleepy Hollow… It was just hit after hit when these two joined forces. But in the mid 2000s, something shifted. It suddenly seemed like people were sick of Burton, sick of Depp, and most of all sick of them working together. Sure, Corpse Bride and Sweeney Todd were still well-liked, but once Alice in Wonderland hit theaters people weren’t shy about voicing their dislike of the director and especially the actor. Burton kind of skidded to a halt for a while, while Depp just kept making increasingly worse movies with Disney and generally not doing anything worthwhile after Rango, and while Alice was the breaking point, the cracks started to show in 2005 with a little film called Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

An attempt to redo Roald Dahl’s novel about a precocious child touring the candy factory of a wacky candymaker was being planned for a long time, with even Nicolas Cage in talks at one point to be Wonka, and at another point good ol’ Martin Scorcese was attached to direct. But things just kept falling through until Burton got dragged in, and from there he proceeded to get things done and talk the studio out of stupid decisions like killing off Charlie’s dad and making Wonka a parental figure. Ah, but speaking of Wonka, that crucial role needed filling, and it seemed a lot of famous actors were considered for the role by the studio—Robin Williams, Patrick Stewart, Michael Keaton, Steve Martin, Bill Murray, Christopher Walken, Brad Pitt, Leslie Nielsen, Robert De Niro, Will Smith, Mike Meyers, Ben Stiller, pretty much every living member of Monty Python left at the time, Adam Sandler, and Marilyn Manson among them according to TVTropes—and Burton had an interesting idea for his second pick to play the guy:

But instead he went for his first pick, someone who’s actually very similar to Marilyn Manson in a lot of ways! Good ol’ reliable JD himself! Surely this was gonna bring in the big bucks! And... it did! It's the highest-grossing adaptation of one of Dahl's works ever, and Burton's second highest-grossing film!

Critics seemed mostly fine with it, but audiences were a lot more divided. Some people liked that it was a new and different take on the story that stayed a lot more true to the book than the beloved 1971 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (a movie that Dahl famously hated as much as he did Jewish people, so frankly who gives a shit about his opinion), while others clung to the nostalgia of the Gene Wilder Wonka and treated this new film like a war crime. How dare they remake their favorite movie, even though this isn't a remake, it's just a different adaptation of the same book!

So yes, this movie isn’t the most reviled film out there, but it definitely is incredibly divisive, and what’s more I distinctly recall even as a child being aware of the attitude towards Depp and Burton shifting towards the more negative when this film came out. So I figured it was a high time I see about revisiting it and find out if this second cinematic outing into Wonka’s factory was really that bad, or if it genuinely was a work of impure imagination.

THE GOOD

It may surprise you to hear that this film actually does a few things better than the 1971 film. This is especially evident in the four shitty children touring the factory with Charlie.

The ones from Willy Wonka were, to put it bluntly, dull and forgettable, and came off as far too sympathetic in regards to their fate because none of them aside from Veruca Salt showcased any terrible traits that would lead to them deserving their punishments. In this film, all these kids are assholes, so watching them fall prey to the karmic justice of Wonka's factory is all the more satisfying. We also get to see what happens to them after they get out, which is kind of funny. I’m not gonna pretend that they made them the deepest and most complex characters ever, but with how they updated them and with the young actors they got to portray them, they managed to inject a bit more life into them than you’d expect.

This movie also fixes Grandpa Joe, who is pretty infamous to fans of the '71 film as a total asshole who constantly encourages Charlie to steal and just in general seems like a massive burden to his family. Here, he actually is every bit the sweet old grandpa that you’d expect, and his motivations for wanting to go on the tour are a lot nicer and more sympathetic. He also never tries to push Charlie into a life of crime, which is nice.

Of course, the very best aspect of this movie is Deep motherfucking Roy. He’s the second best dwarf actor out there, only oovershadowed by Warwick “Leprechaun” Davis, and much like Davis was in Star Wars as the ultimate Glup Shitto—Droopy McCool.

And in this film he gets the incredible honor of being every single fucking Oompa-Loompa there is, and he is clearly having a blast and busting his ass. He had no prior dancing experience, but you could not tell with how he’s pulling off all these sick moves while spitting out diss tracks for children like he’s Blood on the Dance Floor. He really is the single best actor in the movie, and that’s not to slander anyone else—Roy is just that good. Like we have a scene-stealing minor role for Christopher Lee as Wonka’s dad, a crabby dentist who hates candy, and as amazing as he is Roy still is better. You better respect this man.

Speaking of men to respect: Danny Elfman. Taking lyrics straight from the book and weaving a unique style for each kid—Big Bollywood spectacle for Augustus (that was Roy’s idea), 70s funk for Violet, psychedelic rock for Veruca, and hard rock for Mike—the songs are all genuinely great and fun to listen to. I’d never go as far as to say they’re more iconic than the Oompa-Loompa tracks from the ‘71 film, but I think they function better as songs, and the fact each of them has their own distinct style to set them apart from each other was the right way to go. I do think Mike’s song is the weakest of the bunch, feeling a lot messier than the other three, but it’s not unbearably awful or anything.

THE BAD

The biggest issue with the film is that the two most important characters—Charlie and Wonka—fucking suck.

Let’s start with Charlie. Now, to be clear, I’m not putting any blame on Freddie Highmore—he was literally a child, and even then I think he’s doing his damndest to make Charlie cute and whimsical. The issue here is definitely on the writers, who saw fit to stuff him full of all the syrupy sweet Tiny Tim-esque kind-hearted poor child cliches but forgot to impart a personality to go with them. Charlie is, to put it bluntly, a boring and generic nice guy, and one who ends up feeling like a living plot device to further Wonka’s character development, something that feels especially egregious when his name is literally in the title.

And now let’s talk about Wonka. Boy, is there a lot to unpack with this guy.

Literally everything about this take on Wonka is incredibly awkward and off-putting. The most infamous aspect of him is definitely the look; with his pale skin and dorky haircut he looked a lot like Michael Jackson, who at the time the film came out was going through a very serious scandal where he was accused of doing awful things to children in his big rich guy mansion… which is essentially the plot of this film when you think about it.

But that’s just an unfortunate coincidence! It’s an ugly look, sure, but a good performance could make it palatable, and this was Johnny Depp during his big post-Jack Sparrow renaissance working together with the guy who helped put him on the map. Surely he wouldn’t deliver an incredibly awkward, cringey, and insufferable performance that dials up all his acting quirks to annoying levels, right?

Here’s the thing: On paper, Depp’s Wonka is honestly not that different than Wilder’s. They’re both weird, quirky, reclusive confectioners with a not-so-hidden disdain for the kids touring their factory and snarky, condescending attitudes. What it all comes down to is the presentation, and to show you what I mean I’m going to use the most batshit comparison you’ve ever seen:

Burton’s Wonka is very similar to Zack Snyder’s Ozymandias.

“Now hold on, Michael,” I hear you exclaiming in utter bewilderment, “how are these two comparable? I know that both are fine with the wonton murder of children if it helps achieve their goals and that a lot of people are weirdly horny for them, but how is this a good comparison?” Well luckily I’m not trying to compare a mass-murdering anti-villain to a quirky chocolatier in terms of character, but in how the adaptation drops the ball with how they’re presented by removing the more warm and positive aspects of them. In Alan Moore’s comic, Adrian Veidt is essentially a relentlessly charming gigachad, an affable and approachable fellow who seems beneath suspicion because he exudes a traditionally heroic warmth. In the movie, however, Snyder chose to portray Veidt as a cold, distant twink who doesn’t seem particularly approachable at all (another case of Daddy Zaddy tragically missing Moore’s point).

This same "missing the point" issue plagues Wonka. Yes, Wilder’s take is just as much a smug asshole reveling in the comeuppance the children are receiving, but he also has a genuine warmth to him which is codified perfectly with him singing “Pure Imagination.” Sure, he’s perfectly willing to traumatize everyone with a demented boat ride shortly after, but Wilder’s performance and the presentation of his Wonks help sell him as a quirky genius who is more likable than insufferable, and you really understand how despite being kind of a dick he is also a beloved figure.

Depp’s Wonka fails as the character in the same basic ways that the movie version of Veidt does: He's a condescending, cold, openly rude, guy who is just genuinely unpleasant to be around despite the movie really trying hard to make him likable and relatable, to the point where unlike Wilder's take it's hard to grasp why this guy gets any respect from anyone. He’s like the proto-Rick Sanchez, except he’s not even particularly funny to make up for it. Maybe this take is more accurate to the book, but if it is it’s really just proof that taking liberties when adapting really is for the best.

And this failure is only compounded by the movie piling on a tragic backstory for Wonka. Yes, Christopher Lee is great, but there is genuinely no need to pile on a traumatic childhood and weird daddy issues to Willy Wonka. The character works best as this weird, trickster mentor figure who dishes out karma to the naughty kids and ultimately rewards the good egg of the bunch. Trying to bring a guy with a magical factory full of dwarfs who do choreographed diss tracks every time a kid falls into the incinerator down to earth and make him relatable is just a mind-boggling decision.

These are really the only two issues with the film that stand out as excessively bad, but… you see the problem, right? The titular character and the owner of the titular chocolate factory are both bad. One’s a living prop, the other is just an obnoxious asshat who is given unneeded character development that ends up falling flat, and while this would be easy to ignore if they were side characters it’s impossible to let slide since they are the main fucking characters. The whole film revolves around the two very worst things in it, and no matter how good the other stuff in the movie is these elements alone drag it down a lot.

IS IT REALLY THAT BAD?

Look, I’m not going to pretend like this is a great film. If it really is closer to Dahl’s book, all it managed to do is convince me to never read it and solidified my belief that being pragmatic when adapting books to screen is the way to go. It’s also really easy to see how the Burton-Depp fatigue came about, as this is some of the weakest work in both of their filmographies.

But I still feel like there’s plenty to like here. The songs, the bratty kids, Deep motherfucking Roy, it’s all genuinely good shit! There was never a chance it was going to be iconic as the Wilder film, but it’s disingenuous to write it off entirely when it does a lot good things (and a few things better than the '71 version). A lot of people are nostalgic for this one these days, as it's the one this generation grew up with, and honestly? I can't really blame them entirely. It's a decent enough movie, and I honestly think that score it has up there is pretty fair. It's certainly a mixed bag but when it actually succeeds at being charming it does it in its own unique way rather than trying to ape the beloved classic that came before it, and I do respect it for that.

And hey, if Johnny Depp's worst and most annoying movie role is in a movie I'd still say is okay, that's a good thing right? He couldn't possibly ever take a role more cringeworthy and annoying than Wonka in a film that's genuinely shitty, right?

Right?

RIGHT?!

[wheelercore]

Alice Creel Haunting Funerals

There is a strange mystery surrounding Alice's death. Were meant to assume Henry killed her, however Henry completely brushes over Alice in his retelling and never answers the question as to how he was able to kill her while also vecna-ing Victor. Alice is also killed slightly differently from Virginia, which adds to the confusing surrounding why the show producers deliberately decided not to show us Alice's death.

I will be making this about strange wheeler subtext as per usual- [GUNSHOT]

First of all, lets start out with Jennifer Hayes. The little blonde girl deliberately pointed out to be crying during will's funeral during s1? Yeah her.

On her own this isn't much but there's an interesting trend of Creels & funerals that done twice in s4.

In s4 we get Fred Benson's vecna vision. Fred is already set apart from other victims because his source of guilt isn't really family trauma related. He feels guilt for being a "murderer"- in this case killing a classmate in a car accident. I've already mentioned this a million times before, but Fred Benson, visually, seems to be a combo of Mike and Ted- which is only reinforced by the fact that we get 3 references to serial killers ("psychopaths") in s4: Freddy Krueger, Michael Meyers, and Ted Bundy. This is one of two interesting father-son parallels in s4 that I will mention here.

But we get an interesting moment from Fred's vision, visually similar to the casket outside during will's funeral, and Michael Meyers is brought up:

Notice how the only three people wearing hats in this crowd of people standing outdoors on a sunny day are Jennifer, Ted, and the lady standing right next to Scott Clarke (something something sunlight something something shadows). I would say this is simply a coincidence, except we get lots of focus on this young blonde (?) girl in Fred's vision- with her own hair accessory in the forefront of the crowd, pointing at him calling him a murderer. Why a little girl?

Mind you they also deliberately parallel Fred to Henry in the moment he mysteriously obtains his powers from the grandfather clock that was there from the moment the Creels moved in- and is associated in the s4 trailer with the Attic. Henry being the person we THINK killed Alice, and the mystery surrounding the imagery of the grandfather clock which seems to be important despite the fact that it most like came with the home when the Creels bought it and Henry has no childhood personal attachment to as we've seen pervious to moving.

Which Alice- she was intentionally casted to look 12 despite canonically being 15, looking very similar in age to these other two girls.

In s4 we also get Chrissy's funeral, which contains another possible reference to Alice via a Victor parallel:

Laura Cunningham describing Chrissy as her "angel" and Victor desciring Alice as "sweet" and "innocent", plus the angel who saved Victor from his vision, which again, Henry skips over in his retelling:

Of course while Laura mentions this "angel", Patrick notices the clock, behind a slightly ajar door- which again, is repeated from that moment that Henry deliberately did not show Nancy where he was spooked on moving day and Holly in s1 being lured by the DG. Both are paralleled as "explorers":

Henry's "explorer" line being attached to him finding out that his parents have done "awful things".

What "awful" things has Holly's parents done to warrant a parallel like this?

When Victor was talking about the Creel attic, which contain things that intentionally visually parallel to the Wheeler home.

"I supposed all evil must have a home"

(Funnily enough the gang are walking around the wheeler home, Dustin passing the grandfather clock chimes on the wall while discussing Vecna).

Which then leads me to talk about Fred, Eddie, Ted (Bundy), and Michael (Meyers).

The other Mike-Ted reference is in Pennhurst: the piano (I am assuming is Ted's given that none of the other POV wheeler characters ever reference playing) and the guitar (Mike's), the only two instruments in the listening room that we can see.

Music has a particularly calming affect on the "broken mind".

Oh and the cat plushie that we always see on the piano? *stares at tfs promo*

The scene where Max and Dustin repeatedly draw comparisons between Eddie and Ted Bundy, and Eddie doing the same thing Fred apparently did after the car crash, running away instead of calling the police and which associated with guilt and blame.

There are many more Mike-Ted parallels in the show, but these two are most related to what I'm talking about. The topic of father-son parallels is so interesting considering that Son of Satan in referenced twice- in s3 with the fireworks and when Victor calls the same demon I mentioned previously with it's home in the attic a Spawn of Satan.

Which immediately takes me to the classic horror movie Rosemary's Baby which is about a woman named Rosemary Woodhouse who unknowingly gives birth to Satan's son- oh hey Rose Wheeler Weaver:

The parallels with Eddie are interesting, as one of the defining facts about Eddie's family is that his father is a criminal and Eddie laments that he might become like his father- and in dealing drugs he kind of has.

After Chrissy's funeral when Jason and others are listing out places where to find Eddie, The Wheelers interestingly enough is on there despite us never having seen them visit. Reefer Rick (Richard) is also brought up and added to the list of random Richard mentions in the show as related to drugs- Richard head of narcotics, Richard Brenner, and now Reefer Rick's home having just got out of prison listed as one of the places Eddie (compared to Ted Bundy), could be found.

This isn't the first example of sons paralleling their fathers- Eddie and Billy are major examples. We also see examples of the opposite like Will and Jonathan, who also have a father who is possibly up to some unsavory things.

Which is interesting, considering that the repeated imagery of the grandfather clock is associated with the creel home, before the creels even moved in. In fact, it's associated with Henry gaining his abilities, and we know Mike has the ability to sense the void.

We know that HNL was wrapped up in some MKUltra mindcontrol experimentation. But this didn't just start with MKUltra- the CIA had another program that preceded MKUltra by 1-2 years, Project Artichoke/Bluebird:

"involuntarily made to perform an act of attempted assassination"

We know Virginia and Brenner knew each other somehow... but what if it wasn't Virginia who approached Brenner but the other way around? Brenner, known child kidnapper, who swoops in after the killing of Virginia and Alice, has Victor blamed for the killings, and takes Henry back with him to the lab, without ever explaining how Brenner got involved in the first place. Or if he had planned it all from the beginning.

We know Brenner was trying to train El to kill, starting with small animals. This was one of Brenner's objectives, getting someone with these abilities to be willing and able to commit assassination that would be impossible to trace and prevent.

And i mean... both nights Will and Billy were taken respectively- it's heavily implied that Will was tracked from the wheeler home (wheeler tv going fucky wucky) and we also see Ted and Holly intentionally on front of the on TV when Billy was taken. In fact, they even parallel Ted on the night of Wills disappearance to Max on the night of Chrissy's death, which Eddie was an involuntary witness to and then blamed for:

And mind you, the Eddie's trailer is very creel-house coded to the point where they inserted a shot of a park very similar to the one outside the creel home before Chrissy's vision. Directly paralleling the deaths of the Virginia and Alice to Will's kidnapping/tracking from the Wheeler home.

[peakyswritings]

Decided to have some fun with the simulator! Some of these are so accurate it’s scary lmaoo

@call-sign-shark @justrainandcoffee @evita-shelby @emotionalcadaver @moral-terpitude

THE BLOODBATH

As the tributes stand on their podiums, the horn sounds.

Ada Shelby finds a bow, some arrows, and a quiver.

Michael Gray runs away from the Cornucopia.

Arthur Shelby and Freddie Thorne fight for a bag. Freddie Thorne gives up and retreats.

Eva Smith, Quinn Meyer, and Polly Gray work together to get as many supplies as possible.

Johanna Mason runs away from the Cornucopia.

Rose Coldwell grabs a jar of fishing bait while Johnny Dogs gets fishing gear.

Isiah Jesus runs away from the Cornucopia.

Lucy Winters runs away from the Cornucopia.

Tommy Shelby runs away from the Cornucopia.

Gina Nelson runs away from the Cornucopia.

Alfie Solomons runs away from the Cornucopia.

Grace Burgess grabs a backpack, not realizing it is empty.

Jack Nelson runs away from the Cornucopia.

Aveline Young runs away from the Cornucopia.

Bonnie Gold runs away from the Cornucopia.

Finn Shelby snatches a bottle of alcohol and a rag.

Linda Shelby grabs a shovel.

Luca Changretta accidently steps on a landmine.

Nina Ferrante takes a spear from inside the cornucopia.

Heaven Lavey cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.

Nooo Shark, sorry for your girl

DAY 1 

Alfie Solomons overhears Freddie Thorne and Jack Nelson talking in the distance.

Finn Shelby chases Johnny Dogs.

Linda Shelby overhears Isiah Jesus and Gina Nelson talking in the distance.

Aveline Young attacks Eva Smith, but she manages to escape.

Rose Coldwell practices her archery.

Lucy Winters diverts Tommy Shelby's attention and runs away.

Nina Ferrante constructs a shack.

Arthur Shelby diverts Ada Shelby's attention and runs away.

Polly Gray, Quinn Meyer, Grace Burgess, Michael Gray, and Johanna Mason track down and kill Bonnie Gold.

Noooo Bonnie

3 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Fallen tributes:

Luca Changretta

Heaven Lavey

Bonnie Gold

NIGHT 1

Tommy Shelby climbs a tree to rest.

Quinn Meyer destroys Rose Coldwell's supplies while she is asleep.

Linda Shelby stays awake all night.

Finn Shelby receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

Jack Nelson, Gina Nelson, Arthur Shelby, Freddie Thorne, and Nina Ferrante sleep in shifts.

Polly Gray tries to sing herself to sleep.

Isiah Jesus taints Ada Shelby's food, killing her.

Lucy Winters receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Eva Smith loses sight of where she is.

Johnny Dogs attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

Alfie Solomons quietly hums.

Aveline Young lets Johanna Mason into her shelter.

Grace Burgess starts a fire.

Michael Gray receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

DAY 2

Gina Nelson kills Isiah Jesus while he is resting.

Alfie Solomons diverts Rose Coldwell's attention and runs away.

Freddie Thorne stalks Tommy Shelby.

These two can’t help being at each other’s throat in every universe

Linda Shelby dies of dysentery.

Arthur Shelby questions his sanity.

Nina Ferrante runs away from Lucy Winters.

Johanna Mason and Johnny Dogs hunt for other tributes.

Polly Gray sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Finn Shelby questions his sanity.

Michael Gray practices his archery.

Grace Burgess camouflauges herself in the bushes.

Aveline Young hunts for other tributes.

Quinn Meyer sprains her ankle while running away from Jack Nelson.

Eva Smith makes a slingshot.

Fallen tributes:

Ada Shelby

Isiah Jesus

Linda Shelby

NIGHT 2

Aveline Young kills Johanna Mason while she is sleeping.

Grace Burgess, Gina Nelson, and Jack Nelson cheerfully sing songs together.

Michael Gray convinces Polly Gray to snuggle with him.

Nina Ferrante screams for help.

Rose Coldwell and Freddie Thorne hold hands.

Finn Shelby thinks about home.

Eva Smith lets Alfie Solomons into her shelter.

Tommy Shelby stabs Arthur Shelby in the back with a trident.

Tommy tf are you doing

Quinn Meyer thinks about home.

Lucy Winters and Johnny Dogs sleep in shifts.

DAY 3

Grace Burgess injures herself.

Freddie Thorne scares Jack Nelson off.

Gina Nelson attacks Lucy Winters, but she manages to escape.

Rose Coldwell searches for a water source.

Tommy Shelby constructs a shack.

Aveline Young receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.

Polly Gray chases Johnny Dogs.

Quinn Meyer overhears Michael Gray and Nina Ferrante talking in the distance.

Alfie Solomons travels to higher ground.

Eva Smith stalks Finn Shelby.

Fallen tributes:

Johanna Mason

Arthur Shelby

NIGHT 3

Rose Coldwell thinks about winning.

Jack Nelson starts a fire.

Tommy Shelby is awoken by nightmares.

Quinn Meyer and Grace Burgess run into each other and decide to truce for the night.

Lucy Winters stays awake all night.

Finn Shelby is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.

Gina Nelson begs for Nina Ferrante to kill her. She reluctantly obliges, killing Gina Nelson.

Michael Gray sets up camp for the night.

Johnny Dogs, Eva Smith, and Aveline Young start fighting, but Eva Smith runs away as Johnny Dogs kills Aveline Young.

Freddie Thorne and Alfie Solomons talk about the tributes still alive.

Polly Gray thinks about home.

DAY 4

Eva Smith attacks Grace Burgess, but she manages to escape.

Jack Nelson, Johnny Dogs, Polly Gray, and Finn Shelby hunt for other tributes.

Rose Coldwell, Quinn Meyer, and Lucy Winters hunt for other tributes.

Tommy Shelby chases Alfie Solomons.

Well this is accurate

Nina Ferrante fishes.

Michael Gray camouflauges himself in the bushes.

Freddie Thorne cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.

Fallen tributes:

Gina Nelson

Aveline Young

Freddie Thorne

NIGHT 4

Eva Smith receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Quinn Meyer, Rose Coldwell, and Nina Ferrante cheerfully sing songs together.

This made me laugh. Girls there’s nothing to be cheerful about.

Michael Gray receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.

Lucy Winters, Johnny Dogs, Finn Shelby, and Polly Gray tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood.

Jack Nelson receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Tommy Shelby tries to treat his infection.

Grace Burgess taints Alfie Solomons's food, killing him.

DAY 5

Finn Shelby and Lucy Winters work together for the day.

Jack Nelson and Eva Smith hunt for other tributes.

Tommy Shelby attacks Polly Gray, but Nina Ferrante protects her, killing Tommy Shelby.

👀

Grace Burgess scares Johnny Dogs off.

Quinn Meyer kills Rose Coldwell with a sickle.

Michael Gray makes a wooden spear.

Fallen tributes:

Alfie Solomons

Tommy Shelby

Rose Coldwell

NIGHT 5

Michael Gray cries himself to sleep.

Nina Ferrante and Quinn Meyer tell stories about themselves to each other.

Eva Smith begs for Polly Gray to kill her. She refuses, keeping Eva Smith alive.

Jack Nelson and Grace Burgess sleep in shifts.

Johnny Dogs quietly hums.

Lucy Winters and Finn Shelby talk about the tributes still alive.

DAY 6

Quinn Meyer, Johnny Dogs, Polly Gray, and Jack Nelson raid Michael Gray's camp while he is hunting.

Finn Shelby overhears Lucy Winters and Eva Smith talking in the distance.

Nina Ferrante shoots a poisonous blow dart into Grace Burgess's neck, slowly killing her.

ARENA EVENT

A fire spreads throughout the arena.

Quinn Meyer survives.

Jack Nelson falls to the ground, but kicks Polly Gray hard enough to then push her into the fire.

The fire catches up to Nina Ferrante, killing her.

Rip my girl, you always get to this point then get killed off

Michael Gray kills Eva Smith in order to utilize a body of water safely.

The fire catches up to Finn Shelby, killing him.

Lucy Winters survives.

The fire catches up to Johnny Dogs, killing him.

Fallen tributes:

Grace Burgess

Polly Gray

Nina Ferrante

Eva Smith

Finn Shelby

Johnny Dogs

NIGHT 6

Quinn Meyer starts a fire.

Jack Nelson destroys Lucy Winters's supplies while she is asleep.

Michael Gray dies from an infection.

THE FEAST

The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Lucy Winters decides not to go to The Feast.

Jack Nelson decides not to go to The Feast.

Quinn Meyer decides not to go to The Feast.

DAY 7

Jack Nelson tends to Quinn Meyer's wounds.

Lucy Winters is pricked by thorns while picking berries.

ARENA EVENT

The arena's border begins to rapidly contract.

Lucy Winters restrains Jack Nelson to a tree and leaves him to die.

Quinn Meyer trips on a tree root and is unable to recover fast enough.

Fallen tributes:

Michael Gray

Jack Nelson

Quinn Meyer

The winner is Lucy Winters from District 12!

Congrats @emotionalcadaver your girl won again!

[bookgeekgrrl]

My media this week (1-7 Sep 2024)

i'm 3 eps in and murph's hair is still throwing me when i first see it. but i love that they get to sit next to each other.

📚 STUFF I READ 📚

Prisoner's Base (Nero Wolfe #21) (Rex Stout, author; Michael Prichard, narrator)

Wild with Happy (Colman Domingo, author; full voice cast) - "deeply imaginative dark comedy about death...performed by an all-star cast including Domingo, the legendary Oprah Winfrey, Tony Award nominee Sharon Washington (New York, New York), Tony Award winner Alex Newell (Glee, Shucked), and Golden Globe Award winner Tyler James Williams (Abbott Elementary)." - short but extremely entertaining

Trouble In Triplicate (Nero Wolfe #14) (Rex Stout)

The Second Confession (Nero Wolfe #15) (Rex Stout)

A Safe Place To Land (Gloromeien, kahey2804) - "Bucky Barnes had it all—grease under his fingernails, dog fur behind the cushions of his couch, a cozy place to call his own. The house, the truck, the dogs, the works. A ride-or-die, close-knit community. A patch of land he could wander. A mountain view to inspire him. After six tours of duty and nine months in captivity, Bucky knew how bad things could get, so he didn't dare ask for anything else. Especially not someone to hold. Until a tall, blond super-soldier crash-landed into his quiet life and threatened to make all his dreams come true." - really excellent shrunkyclunks; creative use of canon events into a well-structured AU. really, really enjoyed this

💖💖 +166K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖

take guesses on exits, one has to be right (queermccoy) - 9-1-1: bucktommy, 12K - I just love a truck stop sex worker AU, bless those writers that put them into the fandoms

The Prenup (spqr) - Suits: mike/harvey, 6K - new Suits fic! incredibly written, totally non explicit but super hot - the perfect way for them to flirt

Stigma (the_deep_magic) - The Eagle of the Ninth: marcus/esca, 12K - love a good take on soulmarks, one that manages to be both 'we were made for each other' AND 'we fucking chose each other' simultaneously

📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺

Monét's Slumber Party - s1, e3

Handsome - Pretty Little Episode #3

D20: A Starstruck Odyssey - "Rolling Up The Hill" (s12, e2)

D20: Adventuring Party - "Was That the Worst Social Interaction in D20 History?" (s8, e2)

D20: A Starstruck Odyssey - "Wrecked on Rec 97" (s12, e3)

D20: Adventuring Party - "The Ball Continues Rolling Up" (s8, e3)

🎧 PODCASTS 🎧

Re: Dracula - September 1: Am Writing

Re: Dracula - September 2: Suck From my Wound

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Wild Life Week: Exploring Our Alien Planet with Cara Giaimo

Welcome to Night Vale #253 - instructions for folding

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Kaos

Re: Dracula - September 3: Anything of a Young Ladies

Short Wave - Are You Overestimating The Algorithm?

How To! - How To Cook at Home Like Sohla El-Waylly

Handsome - Seth Meyers asks about passports

Switched on Pop - Sabrina Carpenter is more than Short n' Sweet

⭐ 99% Invisible - Not Built For This #5: The Little Levee That Could

Vibe Check - Do Some Witch Sh!t

Re: Dracula - September 4: He Has Deserted Me

Code Switch - Going back to school with schizoaffective disorder

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Wild Life Week: Celery Makes A Nature Documentary

It's Been a Minute - The SMACKDOWN: Video Games vs. Journalism vs. Robert Frost

Shedunnit - In The Dentist's Chair

⭐ Ologies - Coffeeology (COFFEE) with Peter Giuliano

Re: Dracula - September 5: Patient Greatly Improved

Wild Card - Kacey Musgraves is trying to get right with time

The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Wild Life Week: Why Would a Researcher Pull a Lion’s Tail?

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Songs To Boost Your Confidence

Short Wave - Dogs Go Viral For 'Talking' To Humans — But Can They?

Endless Thread - Ignore All Previous Instructions

Re: Dracula - September 6: Terrible Change for the Worse

Dear Prudence - My Wife Thinks I Had an Emotional Affair With My Best Friend. Help!

Dear Prudence - Prudie Plus: My Sister-In-Law Is Dealing With Infertility and Is Now Hateful to Everyone. Help!

It's Been a Minute - Gen Z asks: what is school for? Plus, rebranding gentrification

Pop Culture Happy Hour - Beetlejuice Beetlejuice And What's Making Us Happy

⭐ 99% Invisible - Not Built For This #6: Maximum Temperature

You're Dead to Me - Leif Erikson

Re: Dracula - September 7: I Have Sown my Corn

⭐ Wait Wait… Don't Tell Me! - John Leguizamo

🎶 MUSIC 🎶

Dvořák Symphonies Nos 6-9 [London Symphony Orchestra] {2024}

Carly Rae Jepsen

personal 'Liked Music' playlist

Short n' Sweet [Sabrina Carpenter] {2024}

Rock Radio • Popular

Presenting Kacey Musgraves

Presenting Bay City Rollers

Bay City Rollers Radio

"Everlasting Love" [Love Affair] Radio