#is he eating? i haven't seen him except for one time but he must be because otherwise he'd be dead right? who knows? not me

[a-deed-without-a-name]

*chasing the bumblebee goby around the tank with a syringe, spraying brine shrimp all over the place to the gluttonous delight of every fish but him* I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you

[danieyells]

Tokyo Debunker Stigmas, Artifacts, And Other Possibly Combat Relevant Information

Since we've met all of our current ghouls, I decided to share my non-comprehensive list of the stigmas and powers and weapons of the ghouls we've seen so far!! This isn't all of them because they haven't all been revealed or explained. But it should be everything we've seen so far! Let me know if/where I've missed things! I've also mentioned some other details for some of them, namely the less human ghouls.

Jin Kamurai

Stigma

Incantation - Bianerus

Effect - forces the target to obey his command.

Currently cannot be activated without the PC's enhancement. At present, only Tohma, the PC, and few if any others know this.

Incantation can be recited mentally

Continuous commands("kneel") only seem to last a few minutes at most

Artifact

Sword - teleportation

Can be used to cut a portal into the air for teleporting someone with him, but doesn't appear to need this for just teleporting Jin

Tohma Ishibashi

Stigma

Incantation - Argeas

Effect - "lets him send vibrations long distances"

Vibrations include the vibrations from his voice, allowing his voice to carry longer distances, making him heard further away

When enhanced he can break through anomalous soundproofing and better specify the direction his vibrations carry(as neither Kaito nor Luca heard his voice from outside the room)

Artifact

Halberd - ?

Other

Tohma naturally has "brute strength" which, combined with his stigma, allows him to essentially make earthquakes.

Lucas Errant

Stigma

Incantation - Iggnaim

Effect - creates a barrier.

When enhanced the barrier becomes visible. It's significantly larger and supported by a large anomaly that's invisible to everyone but the PC and perhaps Kaito, even unable to be seen on cameras or by Luca himself.

Artifact

Twin blades - ?

Appear identical aside from a difference in color.

Smashed through reenforced glass to choose him as their new master.

Apparently sound to Luca like a crying child. He believes the child must be begging for his help.

Other

Carries around a knife.

Kaito Fuji

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - "can see auras sometimes?"

So far hasn't been seen/used, and Hyde didn't sound certain about what it does.

Kaito has notably enhanced vision, able to see things that are further away and surprisingly skilled at reading lips.

Kaito screams when Luca's stigma is enhanced, looking straight up at the anomaly it spawned despite no one else but the PC appearing to see it. While it's possible he only saw its aura, it's likely he saw the anomaly itself.

Artifact

Rogue bow - ?

Veers nonsensically off path when shot, except, seemingly, if Kaito truly wishes to hit the target(?)

Alan Mido

Stigma

Incantation - Yagsal Olbalsa

Effect - super strength.

Artifact

Lead pipe - ?

Leo Kurosagi

Stigma

Incantation - Haxs

Effect - super hearing.

Increases distance and precision of his hearing. Does not allow him to hear through anomalous soundproofing.

When enhanced increases distance further and allows him to hear through anomalous soundproofing.

Artifact

Bubble gum - can be manipulated into any shape when blown.

The longer it's chewed, the longer he can manipulate it

Shohei Haizono

"So if I chewed this one a bunch and stuck it over your nose and mouth...

"...you'd suffocate. Bye bye Honor Roll."

suggests that it can't be removed until the time he's manipulated it runs out?

Stigma

Incantation - Spurno

Effect - forces change in direction.

When enhanced the change in direction is more forceful, like a knockback effect.

Artifact

Motorcycle - ?

Her name is Bonnie. She eats food placed in her fuel tank instead of gasoline, including chewing it and even burping. She's picky about what she eats. Her favorite food is barbecue sandwiches, but she also eats jerky.

Sho drives her just about everywhere.

Haru Sagara

Stigma

Incantation - Bahnti

Effect - reduces gravity's effects on his own body.

Reduced effect of gravity allows him to move extremely fast.

Makes his body much more fragile when used. Possibly includes weakening his immune system?

Artifact

Deck brush - ?

Towa Otonashi

Stigma

Incantation - ? (has an audio file, but the spelling hasn't been shown.)

Effect - Controls weather?

Towa exhibits control over weather as his primary ability, however because it's not shown to be in response to his incantation it's somewhat dubious as to whether or not it's actually his stigma.

Others' understanding of Towa's stigma is only that he controls lightning and that other weather patterns are random, not in response to Towa's feelings.

The weather reacts to Towa's emotions, causing the sky to darken in preparation of rain, lightning, or snowstorms when he's angry.

When Towa was away from Jabberwock for a day the nature conditions deteriorated significantly, with water drying up and the sky dark despite it being sunny the previous day. This may be coincidental, as Darkwick's weather is said to be unpredictable.

Towa is also able to predict weather that he doesn't control.

Towa can create lightning(which he uses to electrocute enemies), rain, wind(used to create a pillar of water for the PC to land on when falling off the boat and to direct the rain sideways to wash bubble soap off of Kaito), snow, and possibly earthquakes(the ground is noted to start shaking in response to his anger.)

His lightning may be able to be used under water without being conducted into non-targets, however it's also possible he used harsh winds instead of lightning when destroying Otohime and her minions.

Artifact

Bubble wand - blown bubbles cause explosions.

The explosions are powerful enough to destroy glass that withheld a full grown Kraken.

Towa warns not to touch the bubbles, as they will kill you.

Other

Towa cannot speak during the daytime and is only able to talk when it's night. This includes being in Obscuary, where it's permanently night, however the cover of clouds doesn't allow him to speak during the day meaning it's not related specifically to the visibility of the sun.

Can speak to and understand anomalies, even those that lack speech capabilities(such as the tree on the hill.) Haru is aware of this.

Able to see and hear ghosts(Zenji) and possibly other things that only people who are "special" can see(the tree on the hill.)

Can jump so high he can essentially fly, although this may be related to control of wind(though there's no notation that the wind blows when he jumps.)

Anomalies fear him and obey him, particularly when he's angry, even to the point of kneeling out of fear when he's furious.

Ren Shiranami

Stigma

Incantation - Raothtas

Effect - Cleans things?

Has only been used to remove Calamari's ink from the floor when wiping it up failed.

Artifact

Swim ring - restrains target.

Cannot be removed by the wearer.

Has a rope attached that allows the wearer to be reeled in.

Taiga Hoshibami

Stigma

Incantation - Malab

Effect - ?

Artifact

Tommy gun - takes anything broken into small enough pieces and fired from it as ammo.

Other

Damage type seems to vary based on what was placed into it. Shards of glass created a swirl of glass shards, whereas bronze from a statue shot heavier rounds.

Doesn't seem to require ammo to fire.

Doesn't seem to work on everything as Taiga says his bullets don't work on anything lately. Possibly limited to hostile entities? (He was able to shoot the Oblivion Dealer, but not able to shoot the Kyklos--which ran away--or the Barong--which was non-threatening.)

Carries a knife and a pistol.

Romeo Scorpus Lucci

Stigma

Incantation - Tiris

Effect - "turns things into bombs".

Able to turn anything into a bomb, including non-explosive objects.

The size of the blast depends on how attached to the target object its owner is. If Romeo truly values something he's blowing up, the explosion is quite destructive.

Hyde has him testing various types of prototype anomalous explosive materials for Darkwick on missions.

Artifact

"To me, these prototypes are a path to catching anomalies in one piece." which implies most of Hyde's prototypes cause non-lethal explosions.

Sniper rifle - ?

Maintains his bullets himself.

Doesn't always carry the same types of rounds. For example, he only had smoke bombs in the prologue.

Ritsu Shinjo

Stigma

Incantation - Acimo

Effect - hardens his body. Increases his weight.

Artifact

Prevents damage from concussive attacks such as kicks and bullets. If you kick him while it's active it'll hurt.

Doesn't seem to experience pain in this state.

Can survive explosions and escape from collapsed buildings unharmed.

Compendium of Laws - ?

Subaru Kagami

Has the contents memorized?

Taiga taught him to use it as a blunt weapon.

Stigma

Incantation - Talnandio

Effects - psychometry.

Experiences memory fragments through almost anything he touches.

Passive, activates on contact with people, animals, anomalies, and objects without incantation.

Using it exhausts him to the point of needing a significant amount of rest, possibly even passing out shortly after usage.

Wears gloves and avoids crowded places to try and avoid accidentally setting it off. Feels bad about being able to learn people's secrets.

Artifact

Parasol - ?

Sturdy enough to destroy a possessed doll.

Haku Kusanagi

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - ?

Implied he prefers not using it?

Artifact

Flute - ?

Used flute to remove himself and the PC from Kisaragi Station, knocking them out with some sort of ethereal water and causing them to wake up back on the empty train car.

Other

Able to see and communicate with spirits.

Able to perform various rituals such as laying spirits to rest and making talismans that allow people close to a spirit to see and hear them.

"Cordoned off the area" of the train and station the PC was on, which should have prevented interference from civilians. May be part of his Artifact or Stigma, or part of his capabilities as a Shinto priest.

Zenji Kotodama (Taro Kirisaki)

Performs the stigma test for Darkwick.

According to Taiga he's able to remove curses if the anomaly that caused the curse is in front of him. It's uncertain if this is his stigma, part of his artifact, or another power.

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - ?

Artifact

Doll - ?

Heavily resembles Jiro as a child, according to Zenji.

Won't let anyone but Zenji touch it. Protects Zenji.

Appearance slightly changes to that of an oni when angered.

Has a mind of its own. Wanders around campus without Zenji, much to his concern.

Able to damage and destroy ghosts.

Other

As a ghost, Zenji cannot be touched, meaning he can't be damaged or killed. However he covers his ears when Haku performs a ritual to lay spirits to rest and covers his face in Subaru's warding card with incense, suggesting that he would be laid to rest under the right circumstances.

Darkwick is unaware Jiro is present as only Haku and Towa(and eventually Subaru and the PC) are aware Zenji's spirit lingers. If Darkwick were to become aware of Zenji's presence they would want him laid to rest.

Due to Obon, people in Japan are more sensitive to spirits and anomalies are more frequent, causing Zenji to sometimes be visible during the summer.

Zenji brings his doll with him most everywhere, however people can only see the doll and not him. The same happens with his biwa. If he carries them, they appear to float. In the summer people in Japan are more sensitive to spirits(due to Obon) and may see or hear Zenji when they wouldn't otherwise.

Zenji can touch physical objects(his doll, his biwa, and his phone) and his footsteps are audible if he doesn't silence them.

Afraid of ghosts, possibly the dark, and maybe dead bodies.

Edward Hart

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - ?

Artifact

Cane? - ?

While his profile lists his Special Artifact as "??", he holds a cane in his combat chibi.

Other

Edward is, or was historically, the world's strongest vampire, implying a great deal of hidden power. As he is 400+ years old, he knows a great deal about anomalies that Darkwick doesn't listen to for some reason. However being old has also made his body and mind much weaker. . .allegedly.

Ed has immense power, which we've only heard of him using on the singular mission he participated in. Using it he obliterated an anomaly and a building in such a way that Darkwick struggled to cover up(unlike Tohma's destruction which was able to be explained as poor maintenance and age) suggesting he more or less vaporized it. It's unknown if this is a vampire power or his stigma.

Ed is able to transform into a bat and fly around. He doesn't seem to be able to speak in this form, only screeching loudly.

If Rui touches him, the touched part will break off(at which point it can be reattached simply by pushing it back into place,) ache intensely for a time, or he will die temporarily. However Ed is immortal and cannot die by normal means. He doesn't need to breathe and cannot be suffocated, for example.

As a vampire, Ed is rapidly exhausted by sunlight. Sunlight won't kill him instantly, but it will cause him to collapse. He claims sunlight will turn him to ash eventually, and he cannot be outside in the sun without a parasol. If it's cloudy enough, Ed is able to be outside during the day. He's usually tired during the daytime, but still seems to sleep during the night.

Ed is physically and mentally weaker during summer months, but stronger during autumn and winter.

Ed primarily drinks tears, although he mentions that he does drink blood in his character story and on the home screen. He finds that human food doesn't taste like much of anything.

Ed mentions that Lyca's soul is misshapen, however it's unclear if he can actually see his soul or if he was merely teasing him.

Rui Mizuki

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - temporary relief of pain and discomfort

Incantation has only been said in his head.

It's unclear if blowing a kiss is required to activate it or if that's just for flair.

Artifact

Scythe - allows Rui to conceal himself in darkness.

Rui admits to using his artifact to keep an eye on others on campus.

Other

Suffers from a 'Reaper Curse' which effectively makes him a reaper.

Cannot make skin contact with living things without them dying. This includes humans, animals, plants, and even mold!

Wears gloves, a turtleneck, and avoids crowded places to avoid committing manslaughter.

Absorbs the life energy of what he touches and kills. This kills almost anything instantly as most things are too weak to survive it. Absorbed energy goes straight to his body, preventing him from sleeping. He keeps himself as busy as possible as a result of having so much energy to spare.

Lyca Colt

Stigma

Incantation - Ramsochisa

Effect - allows him to follow any scent he's smelled before.

Artifact

Claws - ?

Other

Werewolf. Transforms with exposure to the full moon. "The speed of his transformation is affected by how much he's exposed to moonlight and his mental state." Sometimes feels his skin crawling when the full moon is near?

Covering his head when he's outside under the full moon prevents or regresses his transformation. Collapses after his transformation regresses from half wolf and doesn't transform while unconscious. Nothing happens to him if he's not exposed to the full moon on a full moon night. Obscuary is always a crescent moon, allowing him to be there safely during a full moon.

Werewolves have four stages: Human, partial wolf, half wolf, and full wolf. At 'half wolf' Lyca is an anthropomorphic wolf. However, he loses control of himself after he's been transformed for a while, and may attack indiscriminately.

He doesn't remember much when he transforms. He might remember less if he fully transforms?

Yuri Isami

Stigma

Incantation - Agnihaet

Effect - "hyperstimulates his braincells"

"allows him to logically process information and solve complex equations almost instantaneously."

when enhanced seemed to make the information processing instantaneous and extremely accurate?

Artifact

Syringe - Causes injuries received by the individual injected with its contents to damage the entity that inflicted them.

Jiro Kirisaki

Stigma

Incantation - ?

Effect - ?

Artifact

Chainsaw - ?

According to his Christmas home screen dialogue where he cut down a fir tree for Yuri, the chainsaw doesn't cut well. However in the chapter it seems to have no problem cutting through flesh. Perhaps it cuts through anomalies or flesh, but not other things?

Other

Jiro is noted to be especially strong.

Jiro was in a coma until an undisclosed time ago, when Yuri was able to awaken him from it. When he was comatose and for how long and why hasn't been relayed yet, however he was said to be particularly violent during The Clash, meaning he was likely awakened before or during it.

As a side effect of his condition and mysterious illness, Jiro has a poor memory, immunodeficiency, and his wounds reopen very easily. He needs four treatments a day, and they take around an hour to complete. Yuri is the only one who can administer them, and Jiro isn't able to do so himself. Even with his treatments he's forgetful and prone to being sick and has a bit of a fragile constitution. Abrupt changes in temperature, for example, make him choke.

Jiro doesn't react much to his wounds and being in pain, but he will eventually collapse from overexertion or illness if he misses a treatment or has taken too much damage.

[prismatoxic]

okay, shipping brainrot from my last post aside, i'm still thinking about the shapeshifter arc. the other sites i use don't have inline posting or do but it's clunky, so i guess i'm theorizing here. some of this may seem obvious; bear with me, i'm not trying to be patronizing, just working through things. this will probably be long.

(edit: i've since learned there's canon explanations for all of this. regrettably i don't like them. enjoy my ideas of what would be better maybe? but keep in mind i wrote this before i knew it had been explained anywhere else.)

(edit again: i've done a 180 and come fully around on the canon explanations! i have a lot of thoughts about them but this isn't the post for that. anyway i'm disabling reblogs, sorry. you can still look at this if you want)

laios reveals what he knows of shapeshifters, and that they function on memory:

no one ever really suggests in chapters 39 or 40 who thought of which fake except in the case of which ones laios must have thought of, but i want to posit who i think each one came from, and what it means narratively if i'm right. so, mostly a thought experiment/character study that i could be wrong about or that was never meant to be clearly defined in the first place. but maybe fun to think about? (i'm sure other people have done this before too, but i think it'll be fun to write up.)

from the outset, i think it's worth mentioning that chilchuck knows all three laios fakes are, in fact, fakes. two chilchucks say this, but the one on the right is the real one. senshi and marcille immediately corroborate this, though we can't tell which of them it is except that it's not any of the really obvious fakes.

what i think this suggests is that, brought to the surface, the warped perceptions of the rest of the party that chilchuck, senshi, and marcille have can be easily discerned when compared with the real thing. each of these laioses is from one of them, but they immediately figure out none of them are right with the real laios right there in the room. this is important.

as for who's who...

i think it's fair to assume that giant laios is from chilchuck. laios is the tallest member of their party, at six feet; while chilchuck sees marcille and senshi as their correct heights, laios is a giant to him, and his bulky armor doesn't help. that's why, even if this is his perception, it's glaringly obvious that it's wrong as soon as it's made physical. it's the only big one, and easily falls into the camp of "doesn't seem to know much about monsters" that the others also do.

stupid laios is, i think, from marcille. because the giant one is so likely chilchuck's and i don't think senshi sees laios as someone who stupidly wants to eat everything (even if senshi's opinion of him isn't stellar right now, "i have to eat it" wouldn't be paired with being an idiot to senshi), it tracks that marcille would be the one to remember him this way. to someone who doesn't appreciate their monster eating and otherwise thinks he's an idiot just as much as the others do, dumbly muttering about eating things seems like a reasonable portrayal of laios.

feminine laios, then, is from senshi. i think his physical perception of the other party members is the most off-base; this is likely because he's known them for the least amount of time, and his idea of what they look like is based more on their races than anything else. i think the resemblance to falin might not be intentional--someone suggested to me the other day that the dwarf perception of tall-men is probably more feminine in contrast to how Macho dwarfs are. i think that makes sense (if it ever comes up canonically, i haven't seen it yet). laios and falin do just... look like gender-swapped versions of each other, also. so if senshi sees laios as a feminine person, well... that just winds up looking like falin.

so this leaves us with only the real laios. confronted with their perceptions of him, his friends can immediately tell all three are incorrect.

moving on, we eliminate the three most obvious fakes from the rest of the party, starting with marcille:

if we take into account what i just said about senshi, i think this is his. racial stereotypes about elves being what they are, him not knowing the party as well as the other members do... she stands out, and that's why.

now this is where things start to get interesting.

the next two fakes to be eliminated aren't so blatantly incorrect that they can be struck right out at a glance, but it's not hard to notice the flaws when you look closer, and chilchucks A and B are the ones to point it out. chilchuck is naturally observant; most of his fakes seem to emulate this. (the one who addresses the fakes is A, the real one, but B is proving himself able to pick up on the things A notices. this is important.)

notably, chilchuck and senshi assume these must be laios's versions of them.

we can assume this is correct, if we want to. we can take the framing of this as being an intentional reflection of the truth.

or... or... we can look a little deeper. we can wonder if, perhaps, this isn't a reflection of laios, but a reflection of his friends and what they think of him. laios may not immediately notice the problems, but i don't think it's because he doesn't remember these details. i don't think laios sees much of anything in vague terms; he's observant in his own right, but in ways he doesn't really recognize, nor does anyone else. i think he was so focused on their faces and mannerisms that he didn't notice the bigger picture, glossing over something because so many other factors are at play.

senshi and chilchuck think laios doesn't take notice of things, but the vast majority of the shapeshifter arc is about them and marcille not trusting laios's judgement as it is, given how things went recently. is it possible there's more to their assumptions here than what the text explicitly says? i think so!

so then who do these two belong to? marcille, i think.

if we assume dumb laios is hers, then we can also assume her perceptions of the others are kind of broad and vague. she doesn't think poorly of them, necessarily (at least not in as obvious a way as she does with laios, who, i'll remind you, she's currently upset with), but she doesn't commit unimportant details to memory, like chilchuck's neck band or the damage to senshi's helmet.

we've got three more "obvious" fakes to get through, and laios offers another lore tidbit on how the shapeshifters work:

anyway, the first of the next round is marcille again, setting the stage for how these three next fakes are eliminated.

marcille changes her hairstyle all the time, so this isn't a surprise. the last one pictured here winds up being our next fake, as indicated by her grimoire:

so the fake marcille in this section is the one with the most visibly different hair texture (who even draws attention to this), and the spellbook that's woefully incompetent. i think she's from chilchuck.

he's observant, as i said before; even if he didn't commit her hair to memory, he did remember the stuff she's said about how important hair is to magic. maybe that's why the texture is so striking. more importantly, chilchuck isn't wary of magic quite the way senshi is, but he also doesn't understand it. the general tone of the low-quality grimoire also just... sounds like the way he'd frame something like that. (plus, the "how to turn back time" bit is a thing he specifically called her on when she suggested it a few chapters ago.)

so the next fake chilchuck and senshi are revealed via their tools:

i think the chubby-cheeked chilchuck with the simple lockpicks is from senshi, and i think the ordinary-looking senshi with the simple cookware is from chilchuck. the former speaks for itself--senshi sees chilchuck as a child, and knows absolutely nothing about picking locks. as for the fake senshi, chilchuck has a decent mental image of him but knows nothing about cookware.

so now we're down to the final three fakes, and there's only one person left who they could be from: laios. nobody thinks this, not even laios himself, but i want to explore the concept because i think it has extreme merit. the three remaining fakes have some key similarities between them, namely in that they're all close enough interpretations that making a distinction is difficult. they look a tiny bit different, but both the real people and their fakes make plausible cases for why they're the actual person. i want to talk about why i think laios is the one who made that so, and what that means about him.

chapter 39 ends with all his companions--real and fake--doubting his skills. seeing a pattern?

chapter 40 opens with laios determined to regain his friends' trust in him...

...while his friends (and their fakes) talk about how he's liable to like the fakes more, because they're monsters.

this is a needlessly cruel interpretation of laios, but after how things went post-falin-rescue, it's not a surprise. they see him as reckless and single-minded, more interested in the things he's weird about than in the people around him.

laios is really bad at talking about what he's thinking--not because he's hiding it, but because it doesn't occur to him that it's important. meeting the lunatic magician in the paintings is a prime example of this, but he does it a lot. they likely have no idea why he told toshiro about falin and the black magic; to them, laios was being flippant with sensitive information, not worrying about their safety. to laios? he was trying to get help. he trusted toshiro, and his perception of their friendship made him think the information would help them gain an ally who cared about falin as much as they do. he wasn't trying to put falin or marcille in danger--far from it, in fact. but he didn't tell his friends about his thought process. he didn't think it was important to share.

(he's autistic but we all know this. moving on)

so, we have laios's plan: the pairs cook together, while he watches for behavioral differences to discern who's who. it doesn't occur to him, or anyone else, that the people he's watching for mistakes are his own perceptions of his friends. and now we get into the meat of why i wanted to write this post.

assuming i'm correct... let's talk about laios's view of his friends, and how he challenges those perceptions.

starting with my favorite, chilchuck:

chilchuck A, of course, is in fact the real one. this is a pretty significant character moment for him too, in my opinion; we know he has difficulty expressing his emotions, and that a lot of his conflicts so far have stemmed from that. the fact that "chilchuck B asked for help with a menial task" is a gotcha moment to him is... telling. not only because it's so obvious to him, but because it's not obvious to any of his companions. he thinks they know this about him, but he's never openly expressed anything to make them think this is an issue he'd have, in addition to having sought help in the past.

his "convictions and pride and all that" seems to them like someone trying to convince them of something, not someone reminding them of facts he assumes they know.

anyway, back to laios. if we accept that chilchuck B is made from his memories, this suggests several things. first of all, chilchuck B is, despite his softer eyes and willingness to ask for help, still a fairly accurate portrayal of chilchuck. he's easily annoyed and he's observant, two traits chilchuck is known for. i think the reason chilchuck B has the kinder eyes and the more gentle disposition is because to laios, those things are indicative of someone being a good person, and he very much thinks chilchuck is a good person.

we know laios isn't especially good at reading people in general. thus, his idea of who his friends are is skewed in broad strokes, but not in the ways they think. he knows who chilchuck is, but he also associates chilchuck with his own ideas of what makes someone "good", which results in a chilchuck who's less rough around the edges. confronted with this--the real chilchuck asking him if he can tell--laios compares the two and thinks, reasonably speaking, the nicer one who trusts him has to be the friend he respects so much.

senshi and marcille also want to accept this chilchuck, likely for similar reasons. they also respect and care for him; they've seen him go through a lot. laios's ideal of him is just that, ideal. in a roundabout way, it's only their deep fondness for who chilchuck really is that makes them want to see him this way.

next up, we have marcille.

the fake, marcille A, is a radical departure from what makes chilchuck B a fake. laios notes that the real marcille is exactly the same as she always is. the reason, then, that marcille A confuses him--and the others--is that after everything they've been through, their perception of her has changed radically.

if we look back to senshi and chilchuck's marcilles, it's readily apparent when they're eliminated that both interpretations hinge on the knowledge that she performs black magic. senshi's tries to use it to prove herself; chilchuck's has a grimoire loudly proclaiming it's what she does. contrast this to marcille A: she doesn't mention black magic at all, and her grimoire looks strikingly similar to the real one.

that's because laios doesn't think her performing black magic changes anything about who she is. her doing so proved her to be just as dedicated to falin as he himself is, and the knowledge that her goals involve it doesn't faze him. (additionally, marcille has been teaching him magic, and falin had tried in the past. though his image of a grimoire is flawed to someone experienced, to anyone else it looks fine.) thus, marcille A isn't a flagrant black magic wielder; she's someone who's been fundamentally changed by what they--and falin--went through.

let's go back to chapter 27:

chilchuck and senshi are appalled, and will continue to be. while they ultimately don't prevent marcille from doing this, and care enough about both her and laios (and in chilchuck's case, falin as well) to be in tentative support, this changes their view of her in a negative way. she's dangerous now, in a way she wasn't before, but she's still marcille--goofy and a little reckless. thus, their views of her, and the illusions that result.

laios's opinion of her changes for the better.

she is, all at once, both competent and loyally dedicated. she will stop at nothing to help falin. whatever goofiness she exhibited before now is gone, replaced by the cold demeanor of someone who is doing something extremely dangerous for reasons that are inherently selfish, but ultimately too important to reject.

thus, we return to marcille A: cold, sharp, dedicated. not reckless or goofy, but methodical and haunted. she may have returned to "normal" since they left the castle town, but laios's opinion of her, and understanding of her love for falin, has been forever changed.

so faced with the real marcille--still silly, still whining, still frequently annoyed with him--he's confused, because that's deeply familiar, but it doesn't line up with what he knows about her now.

the truth, of course, is nuanced--these things are true about marcille, but only under duress; it's similar to how laios becomes a competent leader when the going gets tough. she has this within her, but it's not her default state of being. still, the shapeshifter picks up on the strongest memories laios has of her, this new interpretation of someone he thought he knew.

now then--onto senshi, the punchline of this particular joke about the differences between the copies. i still think it says a lot.

i think this one speaks for itself, though i find chilchuck's agreement interesting. senshi is the newest member of the team; little is known about him. laios happily notes that senshi "always looks cool" while chilchuck says he looks normal (and chilchuck B insults the real one). laios sees senshi this way because he thinks senshi is cool as hell, and this manifests in an idealized version of a face he's not as familiar with as he is with chilchuck and marcille.

this is clearly comedy, but it also speaks to the same desire to see the best in the rest of the party. marcille is the only one who notices likely because her opinion of senshi isn't so romanticized. chilchuck's senshi, of note, wasn't a perfect replica: we don't see much of him after the obvious fakes are hauled off, but he's a little squashed (he's the top one):

which indicates that chilchuck's visual memory of senshi is already flawed. if we compare this to giant laios and the marcille with the unique hair texture, it tells us chilchuck's attention to detail is more specific than the others'; he can remember the hole in the helmet, the importance of hair, but he doesn't quite see the bigger picture. giant laios is also surprisingly... rugged? which i imagine has to do with chilchuck's perception of him as a tall-man. (or maybe how he clearly has trouble seeing laios's face half the time, lmao...)

anyway. laios thinks senshi is super cool and chilchuck has an imperfect idea of what senshi look like as it is. (i wonder if chilchuck is some degree of faceblind? not enough to not recognize someone at all, but can't pinpoint specifics.)

and so, we arrive at the moment of truth.

so let's go over what i'm theorizing here... all the remaining fakes are illusions based on how laios sees his friends. the illusions manage to make mistakes that reveal the truth to him, but i think the reason for that harkens back to what laios said earlier... the illusions are being updated over time.

laios isn't considering any of the things that give the fakes away until this moment. if it had taken a little longer to resolve things, maybe they'd have started course-correcting, but they aren't given the chance. laios makes sure they aren't--he acts very quickly. even as he presents the three pairs with his findings, he's aware that everything will fall apart as soon as he does... and he's banking on that. while the shapeshifter illusions defend themselves from being killed, he gets right to the heart of the matter in the only way he knows how: confronting the actual monster involved.

when all's said and done, laios reveals how he figured it out:

potentially of note, all of these details happened before the red dragon fight. chilchuck fighting a mimic and revealing his history with them, senshi gushing about the dungeon's ecosystem, and marcille being attacked by the undine weren't super recent memories. when laios brought them forth in his mind, he had a delay before the shapeshifter updated its illusions.

well... except with marcille. marcille A actually didn't show her hand so easily; it was the real marcille's carelessness that proved her identity.

but what this suggests is that, when confronted with the realities of marcille versus his idealized version of her, laios had to make a choice: did it make more sense for her to have been radically changed by the revival and subsequent loss of falin, or was the presence of a marcille he knew so well proof of an illusion? she was the one who was the most different, and as such, the contrast was the same one that eliminated all three laioses at the start: with the real thing in the room, the fake became apparent.

so, to reach a conclusion: one again, laios has proven he's not as scatterbrained as his companions think, but this time he did so on a more personal level than usual. to them, he reveals that he knows their quirks enough to define them by such when they're otherwise faced with convincing copies. to us, the readers, if we accept what i've suggested here... he's revealed a lot more. he respects, admires, and idolizes his friends, all out of fondness: he wants to see them in an ideal way, whatever that means for each of them as individuals.

anyway thanks for coming to my TED talk

[luveline]

eddie (with the help of a reluctant robin) gets you an unconventional gift

eddie and roan ♥︎ fem!reader | 1k

You're lying on the floor in your room when Roan finds you. You can hear her footsteps despite the music playing softly above you, Eddie's cassette player reminded for the second time. 

"Why are you on the floor?" she asks. 

You gesture to the laundry you'd been folding. "Got tired." 

She tilts her head to one side. You mirror her expression, her amused smile, and it gets better when she steps over your legs to the laundry basket and starts to take stuff out. 

"I'll help," she says. 

"You don't have to," you say lightly. 

"No, I can help. Dad says it's nice to help people when they're doing big things." 

You force yourself into a sitting position and figure it can't hurt to ask. "Ro, where is dad, do you know? I haven't seen him all morning." 

You'd woken up to a post it note on your forehead that read: I'll be back before dinner, I promise. Love you. 

You don't mind that he's gone, but he usually asks first. You can't tell if this post it note is strange or a good sign. 

She smiles and dumps a sock in the underwear pile. 

"I have to keep the secret," she says, and picks up one of her t-shirts. Her attempt to fold it is admirable. 

"Oh… What did he promise you, hm?" 

She leans away from your hands but can't escape your grabbing, giggling as you pull her into your lap and stare straight into her big brown eyes. 

"Candy," she says, accepting her defeat. "Lots of it." 

You laugh. Roan must like how it sounds, because she pushes her hands over your shoulders, links her fingers behind your neck, and rubs her nose into your skin. 

"Sorry I can't tell you," she says. 

"That's okay. You can keep secrets if you like. Except with your dad, you know? You have to tell him everything, babe." 

"I know." 

Roan pulls away when the song changes to one she loves. You finish your laundry and she does her little funky dance moves that make you laugh. It's different when Eddie isn't there to join in but it's not bad at all — with you and Roan, there's been a lot of love there right from the beginning. She'd been obsessed with you the second she met you, and it hadn't taken long for you to feel the same. 

She's far less clingy, especially at weekends when she knows you're home, but Eddie being gone must subconsciously reawaken her want to be in your arms or lap every second when she's with you.

"Can you carry me?" she asks, when the laundry's been put away and you're about to go down stairs to make lunch. 

"Depends. Can you hold on really tight?" you ask, hooking under her arms and pulling her up to your chest. 

"So tight!" 

You're on the last step when the door opens. You and Roan both jump, but it's only Eddie and his friend Robin. Eddie's hair is in a rare hair tie, face shining with sweat, and Robin looks equally suspicious with her hair in a frazzled halo around her head and a streak of dirt across her shirt. 

"My favourite Munson's!" Robin cheers, immediately holding her arms out for your girl. 

You pass her over, and are happily surprised when Robin kisses her little cheek before pinning you with a breezy smile. "Holy hell, I missed you." 

"Holy hell, I missed you too!" Roan says happily. 

"Buckley," Eddie hisses, skirting round the hubbub to dip into the kitchen. 

You hear the tap running, the sound of his hands cupping water as he scrubs his face. He reappears in the hall, patting his face dry with a hand towel.

"Where have you guys been?" you ask, stepping around the aunt Robin lovefest to get your hands on Eddie and his hair. You tug the hair tie out of his hair as kindly as you're able and brush out his tangled curls with your fingers. He grins at you, light behind his eyes and a super pleased smile. 

"Nowhere, really. What have you guys been upto? Did you eat yet? I promised Robin takeout of her choice for all her help today–" 

"Help doing what?" you ask.

"Okay." He slaps your stomach with a pretend chastisement. "Fine, I got you something." 

Eddie links your hands and pulls you into the kitchen. He opens the back door and you walk across the patio stones in your socks until there's no patio left, and Eddie makes you step on his feet to walk around the corner of the house. Your back yard follows around to the side of the house, green, unkempt grass suddenly disrupted by a sweet wooden bench. 

The arms curl outward, delicate carvings and a solid bottom. 

"I practically stole it," he says, while you worry you're crushing his feet under yours. You step down into the grass, glad to find it isn't wet, and run your hand along the top of the bench. 

"Did you steal it?" you ask. 

"Nope. I can't tell you how much it was 'cause it's a gift and I'm classy, but I paid for it fair and square. And then employed Robs to help me get it into Gareth's van, which was a whole other favour, and he made me go get it at the crack of dawn." He steps beside you, hand behind your back. "Doesn't matter. Do you like it? Soon as Wayne fixes the lawnmower and I get the grass tamed, it's gonna look sick." 

You lean your head against his shoulder for a small moment. "It's really pretty, Eds." 

"I know. It's awesome." 

You take a step toward it but hesitate. "Can I sit on it?" 

"Absolutely. Ro! Come and check it out, babe, we're gonna make it like a fairy garden. I'm talking water fountains and yard lights and everything." 

"I'm not getting involved," Robin declares as she puts a writhing Roan down. "I'm not meant for physical labour. Steve's your guy." 

"Steve was busy today." 

"If there weren't little ears present I would have some choice words for you," Robin says, flopping down onto the bench beside you.

Roan climbs into your lap. 

"This is nice," she says. 

Eddie, standing with his shoulders propped against the wall, sweat-streaked and smiling, laughs loud. "Nice! This is a masterpiece. It's, like, all my favourite girls in one place. And Robin." 

"Little ears." 

You scratch at a tiny splinter on the armrest before fixing Eddie with your most loving smile. "Thanks, handsome. I love it." 

His own smile melds into something softer.

"Don't mention it." 

[lullabyes22-blog]

Snippet - Rotten to the Core - Forward, but Never Forget/XOXO

Young Silco meets Margot in Stillwater.

Forward but Never Forget/XOXO

TW: exploitative dynamics, power imbalances, threats of violence, physical assault, oral sex.

Snippet:

 Notes:

- Inmate to be assigned to solitary for duration of his sentence.

- Inmate's cell door has been reinforced with additional layers of steel.

- Inmate must remain muzzled at all times outside of his cell.

- All personnel are advised not to engage in direct contact with Inmate 238453 for any reason, excepting the administration of food and water, and the necessary maintenance of his physical needs.

- All guards are instructed to use maximum force against the inmate.

- Guards are not permitted to engage in conversation with the inmate.

Transcript from audio recording made at 1201, 11-13-1949, in the Stillwater Correctional Facility

Location: Solitary confinement cell

Inmate: (singing)

Guard: You've got a lovely voice.

Inmate: (scoffs)

Guard: It's not just flattery. You have a really beautiful voice.

Inmate: ...

Guard: Are you sure I can't give you anything to make the time go faster?

Inmate: ...

Guard: Anything I can bring you? Something to eat? A drink?

Inmate: (chuckles)

Guard: You know, there's nothing I can't get.

Inmate: I know.

Guard: What's that supposed to mean?

Inmate: You know.

Guard: No, I don't know.

Inmate: You're new here, aren't you?

Guard: How can you tell?

Inmate: A few reasons. First, because I haven't seen you before.

Guard: ...

Inmate: And second, because you're talking to me.

Guard: Why wouldn't I talk to you?

Inmate: Because the Warden ordered the guards not to.

Guard: Yeah, well. Fuck the Warden.

Inmate: Sssh. Don't let him hear you say that.

Guard: I can't stand the bastard. He treats everyone like dirt.

Inmate: I've noticed.

Guard: Is it true what they say? You beat up Dr. Madden, on the day of his visit, just to get moved here.

Inmate: ...

Guard: Because I can see why. You've got privacy. Space. A nice soft mattress and a clean toilet.

Inmate: And the best view in the house.

Guard: (laughs) What view?

Inmate: Oh, I don't know. Yours, for starters.

Guard: Yeah, you can't go wrong with a girl in uniform.

Inmate: Definitely not.

Guard: You got a real smart mouth, you know that?

Inmate: Do I?

Guard: I've had plenty of prisoners try to charm me. But you're the first one who acts like he already has.

Inmate: I hope it's a good thing.

Guard: It depends.

Inmate: On what?

Guard: What else you can do with your smart mouth.

Inmate: Oh?

Guard: Oh, yeah.

Inmate: Well. Maybe there's a thing or two I could show you.

Guard: Maybe you could.

Inmate: You'd have to open the door, first.

Guard: ...

Inmate: You won't regret it.

Guard: What makes you think I'd do such a thing?

Inmate: You want to.

Guard: Oh, do I?

Inmate: You're interested already, aren't you?

Guard: (breathing).

Inmate: Come a little closer.

Guard: I'm not supposed to.

Inmate: Just for a second.

Guard: Okay.

(Footsteps).

Inmate: Hmm. You've got the most gorgeous lips.

Guard: Thanks.

Inmate: And such a sweet smile.

Guard: Yeah?

Inmate: What kind of girl wears red lipstick under a guard's visor?

Guard: (laughs) A bad one.

Inmate: Very bad.

Guard: What about you?

Inmate: Oh, I'm already bad.

Guard: That's not what I meant.

Inmate: What then? You want to find out how bad?

Guard: ...

Inmate: Open the door.

Guard: (whispers) I can't.

Inmate: Oh, yes, you can.

Guard: The cameras.

Inmate: Nobody watches them.

Guard: You don't know that.

Inmate: I do. Solitary is a dead zone. Everyone's attention is on the cameras in the general population wing.

Guard: I can't risk it.

Inmate: What have you got to lose?

Guard: My job.

Inmate: They won't fire you.

Guard: Why wouldn't they?

Inmate: The place is short-staffed. They need every name on the roster, and then some.

Guard: But they might dock my pay.

Inmate: Or transfer you to a cushier spot.

Guard: Cushier?

Inmate: They're starting a parole program for tracking inmates. Check in on their progress after they've left the facility. It pays well.

Guard: How do you know?

Inmate: The new psychicker told me.

Guard: The psychicker?

Inmate: The jolly fellow from Bandle. The one with the paunchy jowl and buck teeth.

Guard: O'Neil?

Inmate: That's the one.

Guard: But they've been offering that job for weeks, and nobody's taken it.

Inmate: Why's that?

Guard: It's dangerous. Most of the parolees are from the Undercity. They'd sooner slit your throat than take orders.

Inmate: Only a small fraction. Most are low-level criminals. They're harmless.

Guard: Still. I don't like it.

Inmate: You're bored here, aren't you?

Guard: ...

Inmate: Admit it. You are.

Guard: Maybe.

Inmate: I'd hate to think that a sweet girl like you had to go all day and night, bored and lonely.

Guard: I'm not lonely.

Inmate: You're not?

Guard: Of course not. I'm surrounded by men. Trapped, and feisty, ready to explode.

Inmate: That gets you hot, huh?

Guard: Yeah.

Inmate: You can waltz up to any man's cage. Get up close and whisper in his ear. Let him get a whiff of your perfume. Tell him what's going to happen, watch him squirm, then walk away. Does it turn you on?

Guard: Yeah.

Inmate: So what's stopping you?

Guard: Nothing.

Inmate: Unlock the door.

Guard:  ...

Inmate: You won't regret it.

Guard: You've said that.

Inmate: And still, you're afraid.

Guard: I'm not afraid.

Inmate: No?

Guard: Of course not. You're locked up. You can't touch me.

Inmate: I could, if you let me.

Guard: If you think I'll fall for that—

Inmate: I won't lay a finger on you, unless you ask me to.

Guard: That's easy to say.

Inmate: I never make promises I can't keep.

Guard: And if you can't keep that one?

Inmate: You'll have my balls in a vice.

Guard: Yeah, I will.

Inmate: (sings)

Guard: You have a pretty voice.

Inmate: And a dirty mouth.

Guard: ...

Inmate: You could have my mouth, if you wanted.

Guard: ...

Inmate: (sings)

Guard: Fine. I'll let open the door. But we're going to do this on my terms.

Inmate: Anything you want.

Guard: Anything?

Inmate: Yes.

Guard: So, you'll do exactly what I say.

Inmate: Yes.

Guard: Get down on your knees.

Inmate: Alright.

Guard: Put your hands behind your back.

Inmate: Okay.

Guard: Now, I'm going to unlock the door. I'll put the key in my pocket. If you make a single move, or touch me without my permission, I'll pull out my baton, and break every bone in your body.

Inmate: I promise. I won't lay a finger on you.

Guard: ...

Inmate: ...

(sound of a key turning in a lock, and a door opening.)

Guard: Crawl over here.

Guard: On my knees?

Guard: That's right. Keep those hands behind your back.

Inmate: Like a good little doggie, hm?

Guard: Yeah, you've really got a smart mouth.

Inmate: And you've done this before.

Guard: Have I?

Inmate: Oh, I can tell. You like the Fissure-boys, don't you?

Guard: The girls, too.

Inmate: Of course you do. It's all about the filth. Rolling in it, then grinding it under your heel. Knowing it can never be more than a spot of fun. After, you can lock it right back in its cage.

Guard: You're pretty dirty yourself, aren't you?

Inmate: You've no idea.

Guard: I've had a few of your kind. They're all the same. All teeth, and empty stomachs.

Inmate: And a tongue that knows its way around a cunt.

Guard: Fuck, yeah.

Inmate: You like that, don't you? Putting the dirty ones to use.

Guard: That's what they're good for. Licking our boots, and crawling around on the floor, like dogs. 

Inmate:  You've done that before too, eh?

Guard: Maybe.

Inmate: Yeah, you have. And more than once. Gulled a desperate prisoner, and made him into a toy. Whored him out to the other guards for kicks. And a little extra clink of coin in your purse.

Guard: Yeah, it's a real rush.

Inmate: Is it?

Guard: Having total control.

Inmate: You can have that again.

Guard: Oh, yeah?

Inmate: I'm here, aren't I? At your feet. Hands behind my back. Ready to do anything you ask.

Guard:  I'm going to ask you to do a lot of things.

Inmate: (chuckles) I'll enjoy every one.

Guard: Take my skirt off.

Inmate: Alright.

(Sound of a belt being undone, and fabric rustling.)

Guard: Nice and slow.

Inmate: Like this?

Guard: Yeah, like that.

Inmate: Oh my. Not a stitch under that little uniform.

Guard: No.

Inmate: And such a soft, smooth cunt.

Guard: (breathing heavily)

Inmate: So wet already. Is that for me?

Guard: Don't flatter yourself.

Inmate: Do I need to? Your thighs are trembling.

Guard: Lick me.

Inmate: Like that?

Guard: Oh, fuck, yes.

Inmate: Mm.

Guard:  Gods, that mouth...

Inmate: Mmmmmm.

Guard: ...oh, fuck, I love that...

Inmate: What's your name?

Guard: I'm not—not supposed to tell you.

Inmate: It's only fair, since I'm lapping up every inch of your juicy little box.

Guard: Fuck, you are dirty.

Inmate: What's your name, peach?

Guard: Mar-Margot.

Inmate: Mmm. That's a sweet name. Sweet as you are.  

Guard: Keep licking. Fuck. Don't stop.

Inmate: Like that?

Guard: Yes! Oh, yeah, lick me, just like that. Fuck, oh fuck.

(sound of heavy breathing. sound of moaning.)

(sound of a blow, and a cry.)

Guard: Fucking hell!

Inmate: Poor peach. Did that hurt?

Guard: Let go of me, you fucking bastard!

Inmate: No, I don't think so.

Guard: You son of a bitch. You said—

Inmate: Yes, and I'm a lying sump-rat. Anyway, I don't make promises to your kind.

Guard: What's that supposed to mean?

Inmate: (sings)

Guard: Stop it. If I scream—

Inmate: Who will hear? I told you already. The wing's a dead zone. Nobody watches the cameras.

Guard: I'll report you—

Inmate: You'll report yourself. After all, it was your key that got you inside, wasn't it?

(silence and heavy breathing.)

Guard: What the fuck do you want?

Inmate: I have an itch, sweet peach. An itch I've had for a very, very, very long time. And you're going to scratch it.

Guard:  Oh gods. Please. No—

Inmate: Sssh. Nothing so indelicate. We're going to stay right here. With my hand wrapped around your pretty throat, and your back pressed up against the wall. And we'll have ourselves a little talk.

Guard: I—

Inmate: Ssssh. What did you think was going to happen, when you opened that door?

Guard: I thought—

Inmate: What? You'd let the sump-raker out of his cell, and he'd fall all over himself to please you. 

Guard: No, I—

Inmate: Yes, you did. You thought I'd eat your cunt like a starved man, and thank you for the chance. After all, that's where Fissure-trash belong, don't we? Kneeling, with your boot on our necks.

Guard: ...no, please, I'm sorry...!

Inmate:  Hush. I'm not angry. I'd grateful.

Guard: G-Grateful?

Inmate: The Kindred could've sent me a hundred guards. Each one old, and dumb, and ugly as boiled arse. And none of them would've been able to help me. Not the way a clever girl like you can.

Guard: H-how can I help you?

Inmate: You can start by listening.

Guard: O-Okay.

Inmate: Good. Tonight, you'll complete your rounds. Same as usual. You'll say nothing of our encounter. Tomorrow, and every day after, you'll visit my cell. Bring me what I ask.

Guard: What do you want?

Inmate: Books. Ink. Paper. I've a few messages to pass on.

Guard: What's to stop me from ratting you out?

Inmate: My hand at your throat.

Guard: ...

Inmate: That, and I'm right. You are bored. So bored you took a chance on a caged animal locked behind bars. Now, I'm giving you a purpose. Something exciting. Something fun.

Guard: ...

Inmate: There's a place for you, peach. A place where a clever, greedy, restless girl like you can be more than a cog. You like Fissure-boys on their knees, and Fissure-girls on a string, do you? You like to yank, and watch them dance. Well, there's a whole city of puppets down below. And I'm offering you the key. All you need to do is to leave my lock ajar.

Guard: I can't—

Inmate: Not often. Just now and then.

Guard: ...

Inmate: I've told you. I'm not angry. But the Kindred might be. If you refuse me.

Guard: (breathing heavily).

Inmate: Well?

Guard: I'll... I'll do it.

Inmate: (sings)

Guard: Stop singing. Gods, just stop!

Inmate: I always sing when I'm out of smokes.

Guard: I—I can get you cigarettes.

Inmate: Good. I'll expect a carton every night.

Guard: Okay.

Inmate: And books. And whiskey. And canned sardines.

Guard: Alright.

Inmate: And a knife, too.

Guard: Shit! No—I can't get a weapon in here.

Inmate: A letter opener, then.

Guard: Fuck, I don't like this.

Inmate: No. I imagine you don't. But you like a lot of other things, don't you?

Guard: ...

Inmate: I do think, when the time's right, you should transfer to that parole program.

Guard: Why?

Inmate: Because I'll be eligible in a year's time. And I've a feeling we'll get along better, when we're both outside Stillwater’s walls.

Guard: Fuck. You're crazy.

Inmate: So why are you nodding?

Guard: Because...

Inmate: You like that I'm crazy. And you know we can help each other.

Guard: ...

Inmate: Now, how about I let go of your neck? And you slip your skirt back on.

Guard: And then what?

Inmate: Oh, we'll see about it tomorrow.

Guard: (breathing heavily).

Inmate: You'll be back, peach. And, I suspect, you'll have a little something extra for me.

Guard: Maybe.

Inmate: That's a good girl. Now, go on. Get dressed.

(sound of rustling clothes.)

Guard: Bastard.

Inmate: Have a nice shift, peach.

(sound of door closing, and footsteps, and the key turning in a lock.)

(inmate resumes singing)

End recording.

Notes:

- Inmate is showing marked improvement in his behavior.

- Inmate shows receptiveness to toward rehabilitation.

- Inmate has requested to work with Doctor O'Neil.

- Inmate should remain muzzled at all times.

- All guards are advised not to engage in direct contact with Inmate 238453 for any reason.

Petition to Piltover Parole Board

Subject: Parole application for Inmate #238453.

Requestor: Stillwater Correctional Facility - Psych Ward - Dr. O'Neil

Summary:

After extensive study, we can conclude that Inmate 238453 exhibits excellent progress, both cognitively and socially. He has demonstrated a strong desire for rehabilitation, and has successfully engaged with our psychotherapy programs. He has not had any altercations or incidents for the past twelve months, has engaged constructively with other inmates, and shown a high interest in group-therapy. In his private sessions with me, he has expressed remorse for his actions, and a wish to contribute to society.  

Recommendation:

In light of Inmate 238453's good behavior and outstanding progress, we recommend his application for parole be accepted.

Attachment:

Stillwater Correctional Facility Case History

- Psychological Evaluation:

- Behavioral Evaluation:

- Medical Evaluation:

- Letters of Recommendation:

1. From Doctor O'Neil, Stillwater Correctional Facility:

2. From Margot Baffier, Stillwater Correctional Facility:

Reply from Piltover Parole Board to requestor

Summary:

We have reviewed your recommendation for parole. Based on our own analysis, we have approved your recommendation.

Inmate 238453 will be released from custody on the following conditions:

1. He is not permitted to be in contact with any of his former associates in the Undercity.

2. He is not permitted to leave the Fissures, nor may he travel without an official permit.

3. He must reside at a registered parole address.

4. He must refrain from using, distributing, or being in the company of narcotics or alcohol.

5. He is prohibited from possessing weapons or sharp objects, and must not enter establishments where weapons are allowed.

6. He is required to obtain employment within two weeks of his release.

7. He must remain in good standing, and cannot have any violations of parole, or else he will be returned to Stillwater.

8. He is required to check in with his parole officer on a weekly basis, and must present proof of his residence, employment, and personal effects.

Assigned Parole Officer:

Margot Baffier

Assigned Parole Address:

7803 Old Cannery

Entresol

Zone 3

Release Date:

23/10/1950

End report.

[actual-greenninja]

I DONT WANT TO HURT YOU GUYS THE SAME WAY HE HURT ME

Genya x fem reader (angst to fluff, modern au)

**cw: yelling, arguing, harsh treatment (he apologizes) swearing, mentions of abuse, comfort**

______________________________________

Synopsis

After 4 years of dating the two of you get married and start a family together consisting of 2 four year old boys and 1 two year old girl. The little family you guys started together mean the world to Genya, and he wouldn't want to do anything to harm you guys, especially in the same way his father harmed him and his mother and siblings.Recently he has been working later than usual and his boss and co workers are driving him insane with their constant demands of him. Today he arrives home at 8 at night extremely angry. He has an out burst at you and the two of you get into a fight which lead to him grabbing your fore arm and handling you harshly while yelling at you. You're 2 Sons come running in, yelling, begging him to stop, he then realised what he was doing and now he can't even look at you or his son's the same.

★Author's note: this is my first ever fic, im purely writing this to get it out of my head, sorry if my English isn't great, it is my first language im just not any good lol. Sorry if I didn't really write Genya well, it's my first time writing him. I love arguement angsty fics and I love my boy Genya. Not proof read sorry

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He didn't mean it, he swears he didn't mean it.

He didn't mean to make you cry,he didn't mean to make his son's cry, he wants to blame it on his childhood, watching his father beat up his mother and siblings almost every day must of made him think his actions were okay in the moment, but he knew that there was no excuse. He hurt you.

Things at home recently haven't been the best in terms of the relationship between you and your adoring husband, Genya Shinazugawa. The man who you have been in love with for almost 8 years now. The man you dated throughout your college years. The man who you said yes to, tears streaming down your eyes without a second thought when he proposed to you the night he took you out to the prettiest resort you had ever seen, the man who helped you and cared for you while you were pregnant with his twin boys and later his beautiful baby girl. The man who swore to make you and your children the happiest he could.

For the past two weeks you could tell that things at work haven't been going too well for Genya. He often woke up extra early, leaving you alone in bed and leaving almost immediately for work. Some mornings he won't even shyly kiss you on the forehead goodbye like he usually does, he just gets dressed and leaves you at home to take care of your loud 4 year olds and crying 2 year old. The day would go on as it usually does except now Genya gets home later than usual, sometimes it would already be dark long before he arrives home only to tiredly greet you, quickly eat the dinner you kept for him, sit with your children if they weren't already asleep and then go to bed a bit upset. It hurt you to see him upset all the time when you did get to see him, noticing how he isn't nearly as affectionate with you as he use to be. What hurt more was that your son's were starting to realize that their father didn't have time to them, making them feel like they weren't important to him, which was furthest from the truth. Today wasn't any different.

"Mommy... Psst! Mommy, wake up!"

You're eyes started to flutter tiredly, a heavy weight causing pain to your stomach. When you finally gain consciousness you find one of you twin sons sitting on your stomach with you in bed. You say tiredly "Hey, baby, what are you doing up this early?" He smiles at you with a toothy grin, showing of his little gapped teeth. "I dunno, I jus' wanna sleep with you, mommy!" You smile softly at how cute he is. You rest your hand on his cheek, his purple eyes resembling his father's shining bright at you. "Alright then, but first, where's your brother? Is he up aswell" you ask with a tired smile, a little worried that his brother may be catching up to something. Just before your question can be answered you here loud crying that came from the nursery. Your daughter must have woken up. Suddenly the cries grow closer and closer to your bedroom and before you know it your other son is running into the room with his little sister in his arms, clearly struggling to carry her weight with his small arms. He yells, panicked "Mommy! Mommy! Sissy won't stop crying! I just came to her cot and she started crying when she saw me!!" He now had tears in his own eyes, the thought of him making his beloved sister cry makes him feel terrible. You jump out of bed and take her out of your son's arms. You kiss him on the forehead before trying to calm down your daughter "Don't worry, bub. She was just crying because she missed you so much! Thank you for bringing her to me but next time just call me, alright?" You say, calming your son down. He sniffles "okay mommy, I will" he says with a faint smile.

After calming all your children down you take them to the kitchen and make your children each bowls of soft porridge for them to eat while on the couch where all four of you watched "The Goofy Movie" for the hundredth time in a row. You all sat peacefully watching, your daughter in your lap and your son's each leaning on one of your sides. The scene came on where Goofy and his son, Max are in their car on a road trip. You watched, a little bored as you practically memorised the whole script by now. That is until one of your son's tug on your pajama shirt.

He looks up at you with his sad purple eyes. You look at him, confused

"Hey, bub. What's with the face, don't you like the movie? Or is your porridge tasting weird?" You ask, trying to mask your worry. He shakes his head and speaks with a sad tone "Mommy, why doesn't Daddy love us like Goofy and Max?" With that your heart absolutely shatters. There's no way he thinks his father doesn't love him!? You rub his head with your thumb. Before you say anything your other son chimes in, sounding more upset "Yeah! Why doesn't Daddy love us anymore!? Does he not like us..?" You are now feeling frantic. Where is all this coming from? How long have they thought this!? You finally speak up, trying to hide your tears from escaping your eyes, you were feeling way too hurt by their words. "Guys, Daddy loves you! He loves you all so so much... He loves you and will never stop loving you... Why do you think he doesn't..?" You ask with worry, holding your children closer to you. One of your son's says in a sad tone, "But, Daddy doesn't play with us anymore... Daddy is never here with us..." He says, tears in his eyes. "Yeah! He doesn't play with us anymore. He leaves us all the time. He leaves mommy all the time too!" Your other son yells, feeling more upset and hurt by the realisation. Your heart is torn to shreds and you don't know what to feel. Sad that they think this, angry at your husband for not spending enough time with his family,or angry at yourself for not realizing these things sooner. You speak up with pain in your voice "No, no, no Daddy loves you guys, he loves all of us, he's just been busy with work!" You try reassuring them but you can see the four year olds aren't convinced with such an explanation. You sigh and say calmly "Ok guys, why don't we go out for ice cream and later when Daddy is home later, I'll talk to him about playing with you guys more.. how does that sound?" You ask with a weak smile, hoping that ice cream will make them forget about this whole thing for a while. Your son's eyes light up, as if the whole conversation before never happend "Ice cream! Ice cream" the boys chanted happily, making your daughter giggle in your arms. You smile at their sudden change in mood but you still feel a pool in your stomach.

Why the hell would they think such a terrible thing about their father? It's not their fault at all, but still, how could you let this happen? How could Genya let this happen? You felt anger bubbling in your chest. A mix of anger and sadness. You knew you had to talk to Genya about this, but every night you tried talking to him in the past about spending more time with his family he would just brush you off and tell you that " your being dramatic, im trying but they just won't let me catch a break at work" and end it at that. You weren't gonna let that happen tonight though. You were going to confront Genya about his behaviour and how it has been affecting you and the children.

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The evening started making its way into the sky, the bright blues from earlier fading into a mix of orange and red hues throughout the sky , clouds reappearing and taking form above. You had just finished making dinner for you and your children where they now sat on the floor of their bedroom playing with their toys that you and Genya had gifted them for their birthdays. You were now washing the dishes peacefully by yourself before you heard the door open and be slammed shut. Just by that noise you could tell that Genya just had a bad day at work. Has got to be as every time you texted him before today he wouldn't even read them nor answer them.

Genya huffed as he walked in, immediately taking of his tie and blazer, placing them on the counter. You smile at him softly, drying your hand and making your way to your husband. You kiss him on the cheek and smile up at him, glad that you get to him for the first time today.

"Hey,love, how was work? We missed you!" You say cheerfully. On any other day he would have smiled, kissed you back with a light blush and say that he missed you guys too and call for his boys to run to him and hug them tightly. Today however, he clearly wasn't in the mood, answering you with a grunt and saying in a tired, annoyed voice " Yeah, yeah, missed you too..". It was clear there wasn't any meaning behind his words and that made you feel hurt. Your two sons come running into the kitchen and run into Genya's legs happily. They look up at their father with big toothy smiles. "Daddy! We missed you! Come play with us!" They say excitedly. Genya bends down to hug his boys tiredly. He says in a forced sad tone as he hugged them. "Daddy missed you boys too, sorry guys but daddies tired so he can't play today..."

The two boys let go of their father, the one looking sad while the other looked a little upset. They both nodded and left the room without saying another word. This was the last straw for you, your heart couldn't take it anymore. Genya makes his way to the couch in the living room. He sits down tiredly, his hand in his messy mohawk cut hair, he sighed, he clearly just wanted to fall asleep right there, but you didn't let him. You took a seat next to him, you looked at him with eyes of sadness.

"Genya, love, we need to talk..." You start off, concern painting your voice. He sighs, he sounds very annoyed at your request. He looks at you with a slight glare "Can't it wait til tomorrow, can't 'ya see im not in the mood?" He snarls. You haven't seen Genya talk to you like this ever, he is usually soft with you, if he didn't want to talk he would ask politely if you could keep this for later, not snarl at you like this. You stand your ground though, not wanting to get intimidated by his annoyed state. You speak up firmly "No, we need to talk now. Look at me, it's important." He is upset by your firmness and sits up. He looks at you dead in the eye and says, his voice coated with venom, "I said im not in the mood. If it's about me being at work to much then im not fucking listening,ok?" He says angrily. His attitude towards you was making you more upset aswell. " Well can you blame me for wanting to talk about it!? It isn't good that your not at home anymore, it's affecting you and it's affecting this family!" You say forcefully,you were getting tired of all of this, you knew it wasn't exactly his fault, but right now you didn't care. He looks at you with disbelief,he was angry now, and thanks to him being at work all day,he was too tired to even think straight. He yells at you, his purple eyes piercing into you. "The fuck, you want to tell at me for wanting to provide for our family!? Are you fucking stupid or something!?" He gets up from the couch to stand and look down on you, adrenaline pumping through his veins. "What an ungrateful bitch do you have to be to think this shit!? Especially when I see you aren't doing anything for this damn family!" He yells, anger filling him. He has never yelled like this, he swore that he wouldn't. That night where he was crying into your arms 2 weeks after your wedding night. He cried saying that he never wants to hurt or even yell at you, after what he saw his father do to his mom he was traumatized. His screams still ringing through his ears. You held him closely, telling him that he will never be like his father. He promised you that he will never do anything to harm you, yet here we are.

You two kept yelling at eachother, the screams only growing louder. You scream at him, tears flowing through your eyes at this point. "Atleast our children have someone they can turn to, and doesn't push them away all the fucking time!I Amy not be out earning money but atleast I show my children the love they deserve out of a parent, what have you been doing!?" You didn't mean those things, but at the same time you meant every word. Genya's eyes widen. If you thought he was pissed before, now you've really done it. He made his way to you and grabbed your forearm tightly, making you wince at the pain.You struggle, trying to get him to let you go only for him to grip you tighter.

"TAKE THAT BACK, FUCKING TAKE IT BACK UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT IM GONNA DO TO YOU"

He yells, his head foggy with rage at this point. He never intended to hurt you, but he wanted you to fear him for saying that he doesn't provide his children the love they need, the children he loved with all his heart. He kept swearing, telling you to take it back, but you stayed silent, the pain he was enforcing on your arm being to much. Your eyes had tears streaming down your face and you yelled overs and overs for him to let go. Before the arguement can escalate any further you here a high pitched yell come from the hallway. It was your son, he looked furious yet he had tears streams Ng down his eyes. He was trembling, his little hands balled up into small fists.

"STOP HURTING MOMMY YOU MONSTER!"

he yelled, he ran to Genya's leg and started punching it with all he had, his punches not causing any physical harm to Genya. Genya's eyes widen, his vision finally clearing from all his anger. Genya's eyes are still wide as he takes in the scene he created. His son was trying to beat him off while the woman he loved with all his heart was crying desperately trying to get out of his grasp. He let go of you and your first instinct was to run to your son and hold him to get him to stop. You try to stop your crying as you held him tightly to stop him from trying to fight his father. He finally let his little fist free to hug you tightly, crying into the crook of your neck. All Genya could hear were the sniffles coming from the two of you. He fucked up. He desperately fucked up. After some silence your son spoke up in a broken little voice. He spoke Inbetween cries " S-see. Mommy- I said- I said that - daddy h-hates us!"

Genya's heart shattered. He finally understood what you were so desperately trying to explain to him. His own son, the son who he cried for when him and his brother were born. The boy that he held with his brother every night when he was a baby. The boy who said "daddy" as his first word. The boy who was crying Infront of him, thinking that he, his own father, hated him. Genya started to panic, the scene felt so fimiliar to him, and it made his heart ache. This exact thing happend when he was younger, but he had his siblings to help him through it aswell. Here, his son had no one. Genya then noticed his other son, holding his sister, cowering in the hallway, crying with his confused sister in his hands. It reminded Genya of himself, how he cowered with his siblings while Sanemi tried beating their father off their mother. He was his father in this situation, Genya was acting how his father would and the fact tore him apart. How did he even get here, what was he thinking? He's afraid he wasn't thinking at all, and because of him not thinking he now hurt his family. He hurt you.

Tears were streaming down Genya's face. All he wanted to do was take you all into his embrace, kiss you all on the forehead as he usually does and keep you guys safe from the world, but how can he do that now? He harmed you... If anything, someone should be protecting you all from him. But he loved you guys he loved you guys more than himself. All he could do was stand and watch you guys,crying softly. After some time he finally musters up softly, his voice breaking.

"Im so sorry... Im so so sorry.... I didn't... I-"

He was stuttering, trying to think of the right words. You didn't even pay him a single glance, all your attention on your children crying in your arms. You finally stood up with a weak smile. you held your daughter in your arms and your son held your hand while the other was holding his brothers hand. You said in a strained voice,

"come on guys, Why don't I sleep with you all together in your room?"

Genya's eyes widened at this, he choked out, tears still falling from his eyes. "WAIT! P-please, can we talk..? Please, love, Im sorry.. to all of you" he choked on his sobs, Genya looked pathetic like this. It broke your heart but you knew he deserved this. You gave him one final glance before taking your children to their room. Genya was crying, swearing at himself, how is he such an idiot? What was wrong with him? He didn't want to hurt you guys. He needed to see you, he needed to hold you, he needed to explain to you, but what would he even explain? That he is a complete asshole who doesn't deserve his own family's love? He didn't know

"Fuck... What is wrong with you... Weak piece of shit... You are acting- no, no I can't be... Shit, im acting exactly like him"

All he knew he could do was wait until the children are asleep, then, maybe he could talk to you... Then if you will let him, he can talk to his children too, and apologize for this whole mess. He wanted to tell you guys how much he loved you all, he wanted to hold his sons as he did when they were babies. He wanted his daughter to look up at him with that cute smile of hers. But after all this... He....

He chokes out another sob. He walked himself to your shared bedroom and waited, hoping that you will walk in hold him like you always would.

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The hours go by and before you know it, it's 12 in the morning. You talked with your children, calming them down and put them to sleep.You wanted to go to Genya and forget about this whole thing, just have things go back to normal. But you knew you couldn't... Could you ever after this? You look down at your fore arm, it was red from how Genya handled you. After the children were sound asleep you quietly left the room. You walked to your shared bedroom, you crack the door open to see Genya laying in bed, his back facing the door. He was hunched up in the bed, you could hear the sobs coming from the bed you two shared. He was holding the pillow you slept with, burying his face into it. The whole scene was making you feel sick inside, should you even feel bad? Is it bad that you feel bad for him?

You knocked before letting yourself in. He jumps up to see you, your eyes swollen and your cheeks flushed. He is so happy to see you, yet the tears fall more than before. He wants to get up and hug you but he restrains himself, he knows he doesn't deserve it.

"(y/n)...?" He says quietly. You look at him emotionlessly and take a seat onto the bed next to him. The two of you sit in silence, not knowing what to say. There was so much to say yet you couldn't think of anything, I mean, where do you even start? You finally say quietly. "Do you finally see why I want you to spend more time with us..? The boys... They think you hate us.." you hear another choked sob come out from Genya. His hand in his hair. "IM SORRY" he squeaks out in-between cries "I see what you mean now... I don't know how I haven't realised.." You look at him, your own tears threatening to spill, but you stay strong. You say in a soft voice."Don't cry, do you really think you deserve to?" His eyes widen, he stops his crying immediately, you were right, he didn't deserve to....

"Genya.... Why? Why all of this..? What were you thinking?" You ask him in a cold tone of voice. He can't even look at you. He says quietly, his voice shaking. "I don't know... I have no excuse for this. Things at work have just been frustrating lately and it's been pissing me off.Then I took it out on you-" he nearly starts to cry again but he restrains himself." Im Sorry. I don't deserve the forgiveness of you or our children but im sorry. And please... Tell the boys that I don't hate them, fuck, I love them, I love all three of them, and I love you, more than anything.." He swallows his sobs and looks at your arm, now red and slightly bruised. "Shit... I did that to you..? I hurt you like that." His breathing gets faster. Everything starts to blur, he couldn't handle this,he cried, speaking to himself,

"I promised I'd never be like him... I promised you I'd never be like him... What the fuck, why am I like him, why am I an abusive dick , and to the people I love more than myself" he starts to spiral and it got too much for you. You cup his cheek and make him look up at you, you wipe his tears away and try to reassure him "Genya, what you did today was inexcusable, but Genya,my love, you are nothing like your father." Your own tears started to spill from your eyes, "I know you love us, and I know how much you try just to see us happy. And I know you didn't mean to hurt any of us, your father can't say he did any of these things but you can. Genya please, don't say you're like your father because you aren't. You are kind, and sweet and..-" You are now crying, who were you kidding, you could never bring yourself to be cold to him, he was yours after all, your sweet, sensitive Genya. You hugged him tightly and he cried into your neck. He spoke in between muffled cries.

"I don't want to hurt you guys the same way he hurt me.."

"And you never will.... But please, don't ever do this again, not for me but for our children"

You guys cried some more and you finally talked it out. Genya held your fore arm gently in his hand, he rubbed it in his palm, a look of pain on his face. He kissed it gently and looked up at you "I will never hurt you again... You or our children. I promise, for real this time" You smiled at him and nodded "I know you never will... But... Do they?". You both knew you had to explain this to them, but how do you explain this to 2 four year olds and 1 two year old? Just as you two were contemplating that you heard little pit pat's make their way into your shared bedroom.

It was your two boys , tired eyes looking up to see you with Genya. They looked up at you and made grabby hands, signaling that they want to be with you on the bed. You pulled them up onto the bed instead of cuddling into your lap they went into Genya's. Both of you were shocked, did they really forget already? Your one son who was trying to protect you earlier spoke tiredly, little tear bubbles in his eyes. He held onto Genya tightly. "We missed you Daddy... Can we sleep with you?" The other twin nodded in agreement, too tired to speak. Genya couldn't handle it, a few tears running down his face, a soft smile making its way onto his features. He said quietly "Of course you can... You always can."

You decided to get your daughter who was luckily sound asleep to sleep with you all in the bedroom. You and Genya were so happy,your boys seemed to be better and you two finally made up. Genya held you all close to him. He kissed you all on the forehead as your son's drifted off to sleep. He whispered to you, his voice still slightly shaky. "If you wouldn't mind... Maybe I can call in sick tomorrow and stay here with you guys?" You giggle softly "You don't have to, I can tell all this work is very important to you" he says almost instantly,moving you closer to him, "Not as important as all of you.... You can show me how you take care of these three everyday. And I can help you, I can keep these two little guys entertained and you can get a break." He says with a smile. You kiss him on his jawline, making him blush. "I would like that" you say tiredly. Before you know it you all fall asleep

Yeah, Genya then decided from that day on he will always be there for his family, and nothing will ever come before all of you.

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Im glad this is done, lol, please like this it took a long time~

Leave requests if you want but I have exams right now so I might not get to them lol, if you want! I hope you enjoyed this little fic!

[moonspirit]

I haven't seen this mentioned all that much, but Armin with steam related PTSD

During Liberio he actually had enough time to come down from an attack and also was in panic mode most of it

But post canon ( and pre rumbling) Armin being careful around tea, not bcs he thinks it'll hurt him, but bcs it's way too familiar. Levi starting ( and the others picking up) to brew tea for him as like, a love language.

Armin having the luxury if hot baths but not the courage to try them.

Or during Liberio, Armin looking at the people and fully understanding Bertholds thoughts of " I'll steam it super strong so it'll be fast"

Generally, Armin having some trauma related to That One Time He Did Die.

Hello!

Ooooooooooooooooohhhhh this is great omg!!!

Makes a lot of sense tbh! He was burnt alive in Shiganshina; even his blades melted off into the air from the temperatures, but he was still trying to stay conscious through most of it to buy Eren as much time as possible, only letting go when his anchors detached, I think. Suffering third degree burns of that severity, I can't even begin to imagine the sheer extent of mind-numbing pain he must have felt all the while until the nerve endings on his skin were burned off and he lost consciousness.

It's very likely he'd remember even after waking up as a shifter, the sensation of steam eating its way through his skin. Transforming into the Colossal might've been an uphill task too because of the walking steam machine he'd be cocooning himself in. We never actually get to see the times he transformed except for Liberio and the final battle, but there must have been many (especially for learning how to use it) and oh dear god, how did he ever get through those? TT___TT

But he becomes, essentially, the very same thing that burned him to death.

PTSD of such kind lasts for a long, long time. Years and years. A gust of hot wind blasting at his neck on a very hot summer day, and he's flinching. The steam rising from a harmless cup of coffee, and his skin crawls, preparing to melt. When he's running very high fevers and everything's hazy and too hot, he thinks he's burning again, caught in an inescapable fire. On chilly days, that hot water bath would be good for his body, but he's scared of never coming back from it.

He's only human now. What power and what titan will help him?

If he burns to death now, he won't come back to life.

In that regard, the others taking care that he's never exposed to very high temperatures at any time, making sure his coffee and baths are only either cool or lukewarm, is indeed a love language.

They almost lost him once, to certain death. They don't want to lose him to these nightmares now.

[heartfullofleeches]

i've missed the gallery, so here's a question. how would the gallery gang be with a nightguard/frequent visitor reader who's an aspiring artist? i've seen people talk about going to actual galleries for inspo or just sketching the paintings, and was wondering if the art pieces would be honored to be models or something. i dunno man this is my first ask im not sure how this stuff works lol

(I've done this as individual hcs - hope you don't mind!)

The Scavenger

"Draw, please..." "You want me to draw a candy wrapper?" "Draw."

If you want inspiration, Scavenger has got you covered. They'll pull out their finest stole goods for your seeing eyes alone - necklaces, vintage toys - and pretty much anything that catches their eye or isn't nailed to a wall. Most nights they just hold up a pocket mirror and tell you to draw what you see, because it's the best thing in the gallery. If you give them your sketches, don't be surprised if they just shove them in their mouth and return to their painting without another word. Something this precious must be kept on their person at all times.

The Painter

Gasp. A future master in their presence? Well, the only correct course of action is for two geniuses to put their heads together, and create gorgeous works of art together that will bring tears to the eyes of any manner of creature. If you are a painter like them, they create a palette for you out of their own flesh and blood. Hm, as perfect as their colors are - something feels missing. As, yes. Red. That other guard has lots, and is being selfish by hogging it all. Not to worry, dear - your muse is on the case! Sir, sir! Stop running - your sacrifice is needed for greatness!

The Lady in Red

How charming.... Will you sketch her something to put on the walls of her cabin while you are away? She'll let you go for the evening if you do. Leaving old sketches around when there are others on site will also secure their safety as she'll drop everything to have a piece of you. Draw a picture of her and she'll be the wailing ghost of the eve.

The Faceless Angel

Monitors your location and makes sure nothing disturbs you. If you ask them to sit down they will start to hum to fill the silence, stopping if you look their way. Even if you ask to sketch them, the angel is surprised when you show them the finished work. Ah, they've gone and ruined it with their tears. If they are allowed to be greedy, could you draw what you imagine their face to look like?

RoseBud

It's only logical a gallery would attract an artist. Rosebud points out the flowers that are in this season for you to warm up, and tells you to come when you're ready to draw the finishing piece. Their babes are extra yippy tonight, but they are just as excited as them and unable to contain it like their greater half. Give it directly to Rose or they will eat it, but unlike the Scavenger they feel bad and start to cry. Rosebud has some artistic skills of their own and will ask to draw you some nights

Soleil

You want to draw them? Oh, but their gears haven't been polished in ages - their casing could use a shine as well. Don't even get them started on their dials. Give them a few nights to spruce themselves up and they'll be the perfect model for you to sketch and adore

Anri

You draw? How cool! They'd love to draw with you, but they don't have the same talent as you. Would you still mind if they doodled a bit in your book anyway? Maybe when you get off work you can hit up a coffee shop and give them a few pointers.... Oh.

Julian

Outright steals your notebook and tells you to give up before you get ahead. Realizes he's doing the same as his parents and gets it back... with a few sketches thrown in the back. They're all of you in different parts of the gallery doing your job... Except for one. Why did he draw you sleeping? And why does he know the color of your bedsheets

The Director

How fun! The gallery is always open to new donations. He'd love if you drew him, or one of the many stories he has to tell. He has a perfect tale about a painter who got lost in the woods and tricked by a power beyond their understanding. Why won't you come up to his floor and let him watch you work your magic as he tells it to you? Kick back and relax. Stress is the last thing that should be on an creative's mind. Get comfortable...stay as long as you want.

[rubberduckyrye]

The AUs of the Twins

Ghost AU Ouma Twins Reference Sheet

So in actuality this isn't an official AU I'm working on by any means....... but I drew the BETA designs for Kokichi and Kurochi in Twins AU, back when it was just a couple of out of order fics posted on Ao3? Sort of as a patient Zero on the designs. Except I wanna show the art off so I was like "I need to bullshit an AU--oh! Dead Rochi AU, perfect!"

Anyway this AU isn't real and cannot hurt me. It's not real and cannot hurt me... The twins must always be together...

Ahem.

Canon Kokichi's cape is the most boring of all, sadly...

Still, in an AU where Kurochi died when he was 12, Kokichi would look like his canon self and Rochi as a ghost would probably mirror him. That's my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

Phantom Thieves AU Ouma Twins Reference Sheet

No u do NOT get to see Kokichi without his cape and mask, because I'm lazy. I've also gotten too lazy to separate the twins out into their own files so please forgive me I am Tired.

The back of Kokichi's outfit looks exactly like Rochi's so there's no need to really show it off here, right? I--FUCK. ROCHI'S LEG DOESN'T HAVE THE BLACK STRAPS ON THE BACK POSE. Ah well they're supposed to be there but I cannot be fucked.

Also remember how I was like "What if D.I.C.E. had a masquerade theme instead of a clown theme? This is the result of that. Kind of. It's actually the result of me putting the canon Twins AU cape on this old Twins AU redesign and putting on the P5AU persona mask for Kokichi on too, making a very interesting design! The hat was tackled on at the end to make it look real PT like.

Not really an official AU or anything, just for funsies and I didn't want to let these designs go to waste so I repurposed them.

Persona 5 Awakened Ouma Twins Reference Sheet

Okay so these designs have some themes I wanna talk about!

Kokichi's theme of rebellion is "Prince meets Robin hood, decides that eating the rich is a good idea, becomes new Robin Hood." Which is a bit of a mouthful but it fully explains Kokichi's design for the P5AU. He's from a wealthy family that he hates, and he wants to punish the rich bastards who hurt people by giving them a Change of Heart. Kokichi's cloak is themed after the phases of the moon and a bird chasing after the guiding star.

Kurochi's theme of rebellion is about reclaiming the childhood he never had. He's supposed to look like an extremely goofy, cartoon spy with his mask literally being those gag spy glasses and having a prop newspaper that probably has eye holes in it. He's even got a utility belt and everything. People often forget what his mask looks like when they haven't seen it in a while and they get shocked and laugh each time.

This AU is the only AU currently where the Twins don't actually match one another--and it's because it's their inner selves making the outfits that are fitting for their rebellion.

Bonus:

He looks so much more like a phantom thief here LMAO.

[lovemebutleavemewild]

Leave it to the land - Chapter 3.

The world has ended, it's over—except some people can't seem to accept that. Those same people think the cure lies in people like you and your little sister. And they're willing to do anything to find it.

The road to safety is a long one, and you're about to learn that it isn't one you can walk alone.

Read it on ao3.

Tag list: @elentiyaiswriting

You manage to stay awake for most of the night, although you're sure you start to doze at some stage.

You spend most of the time going over what happened on the fire escape and cursing yourself. You'd always been afraid of heights but this time, you'd gone completely to pieces. And in front of Ghost, of all people. You were trying to make these men your allies, while making it clear that you wouldn't take anyone messing with you or Dot.

Hard to take someone seriously when they can't even climb a ladder, you think to yourself bitterly.

All in all, you've had better mornings and you're grumpy as you try to scrounge together some breakfast for yourself and Dot. Soap and Ghost each have those ready meals you've seen soldiers eat. You have one protein bar left and give her the bigger half. It's actually a few months out of date but you can't really afford to stick your nose up so you decide to chance it.

After you've all eaten, you stand around kind of awkwardly, not sure what to say or do.

Eventually Soap glances at Ghost and clears his throat.

“So, we've decided to take ye’ up on yer deal.” Your heart leaps. He holds up a finger.

“On the condition that you give us the general location we're going.” He sees you open your mouth and continues before you can start. “It's the only way we can plot the best route.”

You shut your mouth and scowl.

“How do you know I don't already know the best route?”

Soap scoffs.

“If you did, you wouldn't still be here.”

Your scowl deepens.

“I know how to get out—it's just doing it that's hard. We're a little low on weapons, in case you haven't noticed.”

Of course they've noticed, you think, and once again you've pointed out how vulnerable you are, as if it weren't obvious.

You don’t even know why you’re arguing. You should be delighted at this turn of events. You've got two obviously skilled soldiers willing to accompany you to meet Kyle. And they're friends of his. This is exactly what you'd been hoping for. And yet, now that the offer is on the table, you're having doubts.

There's nothing to say they're telling the truth about being friends with Kyle. They recognised his patch, sure, but they could have picked up that information from somewhere else. You could be leading a trap right to him.

Another thing: you can't stay awake around them every night—you're already feeling the effects of not sleeping the night before. Doing this would mean trusting them enough to let your guard down, at least a little, and you’re not sure you can do that.

But then you look at Dot and remember the last few months of trying to find enough to eat, close encounters with tier fives, and government sentries and bounty hunters who wouldn't hesitate for a second to hand you back to the research centre.

Your little sister has an almost permanent pinched look on her face like she's spent every moment of the last few months afraid. You know you can't go on like this for much longer, either of you.

Which means you don't have a choice.

Soap produces a paper map and you use it to point out the direction you'll need to go.

“So we're leaving now then?” You're feeling antsy and want to move. The dead have wandered off during the night, but you know they won't have gone far.

“Soon,” Soap assures you. “We just need to make a stop first.”

“A stop?” you ask suspiciously. “A stop where?”

“Safehouse. Like the one Kyle told you about.” You must look confused because he goes on.

“We each know about a few of the safehouses, not all of ‘em. We’re not sure where the one Kyle showed you is but the one I’m on aboot isn’t far from here”

“How many-”

“That's enough.” You startle and look at Ghost but he's glaring at Soap, who shrugs.

“Why do we need to go there?” You ask.

“We'll need more ammo and they might be able to get us transport to the edge of the city.”

You have to admit that's tempting. You consider asking who “they” are but one look at Ghost’s tense stature tells you it won’t do any good. So with the increasingly familiar feeling of not having any choice in the matter, you agree.

Your trip through the city is quiet in the early morning. You naturally take up your positions from before, with Soap leading the way, you and Dot walking behind him, and Ghost bringing up the rear.

You find yourself missing Dot’s voice. She usually kept up a quiet but constant chatter while you walked, but she's barely said a word the last few days. You get it—you find Ghost and Soap scary enough, you can't imagine how much worse that is for a little kid. You see her glancing at Ghost’s mask sometimes, then quickly away.

You silently take her hand in yours as you walk. She still doesn't say anything but you feel her squeeze your hand hard.

After some time, Soap holds up clenched fist, and you hear Ghost come to a stop. A second later you feel something touch your elbow and flinch away.

Ghost holds up a placating hand, then points to a building up ahead.

“This is us. When we go in, let us do the talking.”

You nod. Your patience for meeting new people is at breaking point anyway.

You pull Dot closer to you as the four of you move into an alleyway.

Soap knocks on a door, which opens almost immediately. You hear him talking quietly to someone, jerking his head back at you and Dot. You start to feel uncomfortable and you're about to say something when the door opens fully and Soap gestures you inside.

The room is small and dim. The person inside is wearing a mask, much like Ghost’s, but plain. Soap and Ghost stand close to them and talk some more, while you hang awkwardly behind them, Dot tucked behind you.

Eventually Soap turns to you.

“We'll be back in a few minutes. You stay here.”

Now, you are going to argue—splitting up and leaving you with an, almost definitely armed stranger, was not part of the plan, but Soap and Ghost are already gone.

You consider pulling out your knife but resist the urge, instead just keeping a wary eye on the person in the mask, who has stayed behind and is now watching you without speaking.

You take a seat and settle in for what turns out to be a long wait. Your leg shakes nervously and you make an effort to sit still.

A sudden noise from a walkie on the table makes you startle. The person in the mask picks it up and talks into it for a few seconds.

Then they leave, giving you a long look before they go.

You wait for another while, until almost half an hour has passed, getting more and more antsy by the minute.

After you've chewed through most of your fingernails, you make a decision. You kneel down to look at Dot.

“I just want to have a quick look around, okay?” When she starts to shake her head, you put a hand to her hair and shush her.

“Just to see if everything is okay, in case something’s holding them up. 10 minutes top, okay?”

When she nods reluctantly, you press a quick kiss to her forehead.

You keep her behind you, letting her hold the back of your shirt so you can keep your hands free.

The corridor outside is surprisingly bright compared to the dim room you just left. There are a few doors along it but you don’t open them, scared to attract attention. At the end of the hall, there are a few doors with glass panes—you make a beeline for these instead.

Peering into the first, you jerk your head back when you realise there are people inside. You look again, more carefully. A woman wearing gloves is drawing blood from a man’s arm. You duck underneath the door and make your way to the next room.

What you see there is familiar, even if the set up is a little different. There are different sized items of glassware sitting on a bench. Some of them are filled with liquid. Petri dishes are laid out under some microscopes and a computer monitor is set up, though the tiny text is too far away for you to read from outside. It doesn’t matter. You know what this is.

It’s a lab.

Your breath starts coming a little faster. Idiot, you think to yourself. You’d spent so long trying to get out of the facility and now you've walked right back into one. Soap and Ghost have clearly led you right into a trap. They were probably negotiating their price for the pair of you right now.

Well, whatever experiments they're running here, you want nothing to do with it, for you or Dot.

“Come on, Dot,” you whisper, and hurry back along the hall, still half bent so you can't be spotted through the glass topped doors.

You get back to the room and immediately go to the door leading to the alley, only to find it locked. You whirl around and start looking for a key but the room is almost completely empty, apart from the chairs you'd just vacated.

You go back to the door into the hallway, and yank it open, determined to find either a key or something to batter the door down, only to walk straight into something solid.

You bounce back like you've hit a brick wall and look up. You've just walked straight into Ghost. He makes no move to steady you and just stares.

“Going somewhere?” he asks you, folding his arms over his chest.

You swallow, mouth dry and back up, sweeping Dot behind you with one arm. As if it'll do you any good.

You barely notice Soap enter the room. He looks at you, frozen, half crouched in front of Dot, arms spread protectively, then at Ghost, raising his eyebrows.

“Alrigh’?" he asks, glancing between you both. Neither of you answer and he shakes his head.

“Grand, so. You guys ready?”

You blink at him.

“Ready?”

“Uh … yeah? We're all stocked up and we were able to get a car with half a tank—should be enough to get us to the edge of the city. We can find our own way from there.”

“And what did that cost?” There's a hard edge to your voice that makes Soap cock his head at you. He must think you're a fucking idiot. A fair appraisal considering your behaviour so far, but you're done trusting them now, Kyle or no Kyle. If these guys are involved with the research centre, you need to put as much space between you and them as possible. But if they’ve sold you out, why is Soap still keeping up the act?

You remember what Ghost said about the other safehouses. Maybe they've been hired to take you to another lab for testing, with you following them, docile as lambs to slaughter.

“It's paid for, doll, no worries.”

Well, if they think you're dumb enough to go along with whatever they have planned, maybe it's best you go along with it. After all, you still need a way out of the city and you're not getting out of this building without them.

“Right, let's go then.”

Soap nods, and you realise the person from before is back. They let you out onto the street again. They still don’t speak and the sound of the door closing and locking behind you is loud in the quiet.

The car is in an underground garage, which is locked until Soap says something into another intercom and the roller door trundles open.

The engine stutters for a few seconds when Soap turns the keys but eventually roars to life. Ghost gets shotgun so you take the backseat with Dot, who peers out the window, wide-eyed. She won't remember the last time she'd been in a car, you realise. So many things you'd taken for granted in your old life are still novel to her.

The drive is quiet and you spend the time making your own plan.

As long as Soap and Ghost think you trust them, you have leverage. You'll get as far as you can with them, then make a break with Dot. How you'll do that remains to be seen but you'll have to figure that out later. Having some idea of what you’re going to do doesn’t help you relax much but the toil of the day and the lack of sleep from the night before finally catch up to you and you find yourself dozing.

You wake to Dot shaking your arm. The car has stopped and the landscape has changed. You're close to the edge of the city now and in front of you, a forest stretches further than you can see.

“Just about out of petrol,” Soap tells the car at large. “We’ll hide the car for the guys to come collect, but we're on foot from here. Let's try and get going while we've still got a few hours of sunlight left.”

[snow-143]

Water Coloured Tears | Jeon Jungkook

one- pilot (1.7k words)

Jeon Jungkook. The man that everybody wants, the man that knows this and loves the attention. On campus everybody knows him as Kook. However, I know him as Kookie, or I suppose my Kookie if were being critical. 

He's never told anyone this and neither have I. A well kept secret that only we know here. Of course when I go back home for holidays everybody asks about him, how he's getting on and if were still close. 

The truth is we haven't spoke since the last day of high school, but I keep up the act, answering their prying questions with a soft smile on my face. He's doing good, I usually answer. I'm not lying, from what I can tell he is doing good, amazing even if you look at it from the college dream perspective. 

No one ever asks how I'm doing, they're just curious about the towns golden boy who disappeared the second school was out. Never returning during any breaks from college life. He simply just up and left. Not even savings a second to say goodbye to anyone, except for me. 

I cant tell if this was worse or better, it kind of gave me a false sense of hope, he said goodbye to me and no one else, surely that means something. It didn't. 

In a way I'm kind of glad that they're only curious about him, you see when they ask how he is I don't have to lie, it may not be a full truth but its not a lie. If they asked how I am though, the smile would be far too forced, a toothy one that I am all too conscious of. 

The first time I was returning home I had over thought my replies far too much, only to realise no one cared anyway. I was always Jeons best friend, the hopeless girl who would follow him around with hearts in her eyes, much like a lost puppy. Never my own person, never anyone to be concerned about. Even my mother loved Jeon more. He was the son she never had. The golden child she had always wanted. 

I suspect that she knows I don't talk to him anymore, the depression I fell into after he left was far too telling. Yet she still asks about him, still insists on me taking extra food back to college with me in case he isn't eating properly. She always packs all of his favourite foods, never mine. Never anything I ask for. 

It was a shock to  me when I realised he went to the same school as me. I was overjoyed. Thinking that it must have been fate, destiny had brought us back together. 

That hope died along with my lingering feelings for him when we bumped into each other and he acted like I didn't exist. Just some random girl on campus who couldn't watch where she was going. 

I still remember the pain in my chest when he scowled at me, I could distantly hear some girls snickering at my audacity to bump into 'the Jeon Jungkook'. But it was all muted out by the sound of his heavy footsteps walking away from me. Walking right into the arms of the prettiest girl I have ever seen. 

Her name is Jennie. I've come to learn that she's not only gorgeous but also smart and the sweetest person you'll ever meet. She's honestly perfect. God. I'd date her if I could. But she's only got eyes for Jungkook. 

If I'm being honest, and get over the childish resentment I have towards the idea they'd be the perfect couple. The thing with Jungkook is that he never dates. Not even someone like Jennie. 

He's completely open about this, letting every girl he starts something with know that it wont go any further than a friends with benefits situation, they always think they'll be the one to change him though. 

He cant really be blamed when they get their hearts broken, he was upfront from the beginning, they just refused to listen. I wouldn't say they can be to blame either though, everybody I've ever known has loved Jungkook, its almost impossible not to. I suppose I know this better than anyone. A living and breathing example that you cant be close to him without falling for him. 

But now here I am, resenting everything to do with him. I wasn't upset at him for leaving, I understood that, but everyday of summer that I didn't hear from him buried me deeper into my hurt and anger.

He still had a phone, it didn't have to be the end of our friendship. Seeing him again just cemented this. He was so cold to me, I suppose I get it. He has a new life now, new friends. I guess I'm so hurt because he was all I had and it turns out I was nothing to him. 

I had learned to be content with this. Keeping everything and everyone that has anything to do with him far, far away from me. It was a difficult task but a one I felt I had to do for my own sanity. Yet it was all in vain. All the friends I could've had, all the parties I could've attended, all lost for nothing. 

Because now here I'm sat in my stupid art class next to no one other than Jeon Jungkook. How cliché, being paired up with you childhood best friend who you were madly in love with. 

We've been assigned to take candid picture of our partners and make 5 pieces out of them. all with different emotions in mind and all in different mediums. We've been allowed free rein on this project. However, we will be deducted points if our professor doesn't think our pictures are spontaneous enough or don't show enough emotion. She also is expecting all our pieces to match up with the others, so in total  she wants 10 pieces that represent both of our styles but can also all go together as one project. She's given us all a polaroid camera each, its honestly all so perfect. 

This would usually be my wet dream. I'm allowed to do whatever I like on 5 completely separate projects. But the brooding presence beside me is damping the whole experience for me.  

I'm quite surprised when she tells us this will be our last project of the year, giving us 5 months to complete it. She informs us that it will be 60% of our final grade and she wants us to go big for all 5 of the pieces. 

I can tell other people are stressed by this from all of the muttering around the room but I honestly couldn't think of anything better. 5 months to express myself through my art anyway that I like. I can already feel the ideas rushing to me. 

From an artist perspective I can kind of see me being paired with Jungkook as a blessing. If I have to channel all my emotions into my art I can't think of a better person to do it through. However, as the petty person I am I couldn't be more annoyed. I can tell he's pissed off too, he still has the same habits, I could read his body language with my eyes closed. 

It kind of hurt, I cant lie, I know why I'm upset but is it really so bad for him to be paired up with me? Is he scared I'll ruin the pretty little reputation he's maintained here. It's honestly baffling how much one person can change. He never care what people thought of us before but now he cant even bare being paired up with me. He used to beg our teachers to put us together at school. 

He finally looks at me, a scowl evident on his face, I don't want to be paired up with you either, dickhead. 'I'll ask if there's anyway we can swap.' 

It's strange, the way my heart hurts at this, much like when he first left, or when he ignored me. It's silly, I didn't want to be paired up with him either. 'whatever.'

I'm already packing my things up to leave the class room when our professor starts talking again. 'Oh and one last thing, under no circumstances are you allowed to switch partners. I want this project to be as authentic as possible, I chose people you aren't friends with on purpose, I want you to learn about each other and to show that in your art. I want it to tell a story.'

It's like she's staring directly at me and Jungkook, 'For fuck sake.' Is all I hear him say before I leave the classroom. 

'Hey, wait up.' Jeon grabs my arm, forcing me to face him. I haven't looked him in the eyes since I first bumped into him. The temptation to walk away from him just like he did to me is immensely strong. 'We should at least exchange numbers for the project.' 

He sounds far to annoyed to my ears and it ticks me off even more. 'You're such a cunt.' Ripping my arm away from him I go to make my exit again. Call me dramatic but this is the first time we've talked since he left and I cant help but be a little bit pissy with him. God, he even deleted my number. 

'What the fuck is that meant to mean.' Oh, he's seething . Good. 

'Are you serious right now?' 

'No.' he deadpans. god this boy infuriates me. 'Of course, I'm serious. What is your problem.'

'You're my problem. You and your stupid better than thou act.' It comes out as a laugh. An angry one. 

'Look, I don't know why you're so mad at me, but you're going to have to get over it if were going to pass this class.' It's a reasonable point ill give him that. But really, he doesn’t know why i’m mad at him? That HAS to be a joke.

Sighing I decide to compromise, 'Just message me on Instagram, or did you delete that too?' It's petty I know, but I had to get it out.

'I'll message you later.' Completely ignoring my childish remark, he begins walking in the opposite direction. Being the one who gets to walk away yet again.

prev | m.list | next

—————

a/n: and it begins 🤭

[cheetahspy]

Ledger!Joker x Diabetic Reader Headcanons

Warnings: Medical stuff, needles/injections (it’s not very descriptive though), slight NSFW mention (labeled at the bottom)

A/N: Heya! I’ve never posted something like this before haha…Kinda new to it and very nervous so don’t judge me too harshly. I actually write quite often but rarely post it, however I really wanna start trying to put my work out there more. Keyword try. 

Anyway, fun fact about me, I have T1 diabetes. I haven't seen anything about that with J so I decided to make my own headcanons and such :) Sooooo here’s that lol…enjoy??

You had been diagnosed with T1 diabetes three years ago. You hated it. The needles, the upkeep, the blood, the appointments. It’s scary, a living nightmare for you.

You were still in your…adjusting phase, and didn’t like talking about your diabetes to anyone. Joker was no exception

So, naturally, J took matters into his own hands and did his own research, learning as much as he could about diabetes (without you knowing, of course). How it works, the high and low blood sugar levels, how to manage it, he even figured out how the insulin pump that you have operates. 

You were shocked the day he offered to change the infusion set for you and knowing how to do so. He ignored you when you asked him how he knew.

You were hesitant but quick to give in and let him inject the cannula into your stomach. He hugged you from behind as he did so; you melted into his touch and your fears were comforted. From that day on you opened up more and more about your medical life to J and allowed his help. 

He enjoys being the one to inject the cannula and dexcom, however he still forces you to do it yourself at times, as to make sure you aren’t getting too used to being dependent on someone else. You’re a strong and brave bunny, he wants to remind you of that. 

He will tease you about your dexcom and infusion sets, saying you must be part machine. 

“I’m uh, still convinced you’re a cyborg.” “J!!”

He also forces you to stay on a healthy diet and keeps track of your sugar intake carefully. He’s definitely not a hypocrite. He rarely lets you eat junk food, even though you’re allowed to and tried explaining that to him

“The doctors told me it’s okay if I eat sugar now and then, as long as I have the insulin for it. It’s the sugary drinks I need to avoid more.” 

J doesn’t buy it, nor does he trust your doctor's input. “Mmm. Nuh uh. Can’T have my little bunny go falling into a coma, hm?” You know he’s just concerned about you (even if he’d never outright admit it), so overtime you stopped arguing with him and avoided junk food to ease his mind. Just don’t let him catch you eating it behind his back.

J absentmindedly fidgets with your insulin tube. Rubbing along it, flicking it around, twirling it around his finger, even constantly feeling the cannula end of it against your stomach as if to reassure himself you that it’s still on and doing its job. Don’t worry, he’s only accidentally ripped it out once or twice, and he certainly makes it up to you when that happens. 

Having a low, but forgot sugar to combat it? Not to worry! Joker keeps a juice box or two in his suit juuuust for you. He’s even stacked packages of juices in your pantry so you’ll have plenty. (Don’t ask whether he bought or stole them, you already know the answer)

The low blood sugar episodes hit you hard, but you’ve found curling up on J’s lap and cuddling against his chest while sipping on juice is very comforting. He’ll stroke your hair and rub your back, holding you closer whenever you shake and cry.

“Shhhh sh sh sh. It’s nothin’ you haven’t beaten before. It’ll pass, angel.” 

You hate looking at your stomach and seeing the previous holes and scars from constant injections. J will run his thumb over them and kiss each of them to comfort you. 

Whenever you have a headache or any symptoms, J will immediately interrogate you about your blood sugar level

“Not every pain I get is caused by my diabetes.”

“Shuuuuush. What’re levels right now? Let me uh, lemme see your pum-p. Give. Right. Now.” 

If you’re low on insulin and the pharmacist is late to sending you new vials, J will meet with them personally to have a little chat. 

He’ll then come home and plop the bag of new vials theatrically down on the counter. “Tadaaaa! More insulin for my sweet little sugar cube.”

“Oh, thank you J! Wow, they gave me a lot this time…” 

NSFW:

During the ✨devils tango✨, J will occasionally rip the cannula out by accident. He’ll immediately put a pin in your lovemaking session to get you a new one. Even if you insist you could go an hour or two without it, he’s not taking any chances. After all, where’s the fun in sex if your partner is dying from a seizure??

“J, I promise it’s okay! We don’t have to sto-”

“Now now gumdrop. I know you’re, heh, eager for me, but my patient needs her medicine first.” 

You’re grateful you don’t have to deal with your disability alone anymore. Who knew the Clown Prince of Crime could be such a good caretaker?

[alicelufenia]

A few haphazard post-MSQ thoughts for Dawntrail

okay first of all fuck Zoraal Ja loved your trial

Dawntrail in general makes me want to go back and actually finish FFIX, and part of that is also to actually find out more about Kuja's deal. I was in vc with my static over DT ending and my co-tank pointed out Zoraal Ja's whole arc is a dead wringer for Kuja. Which makes sense based on the wiki summary I found. I just also dreaded the possibility of people comparing him more to Zenos, which thankfully, I haven't actually seen much of. But then I'm not on Twitter, and only just started exploring the tags, so maybe that take is out there. Sorry but as a dedicated Zenos Fucker I still don't see it XD not every violent man with daddy issues is a Zenos.

Speaking of daddies, it's a genuine accomplishment for Dawntrail to bring us both the BEST and WORST dads in the game. Congrats Gaius your seat at the bottom has been taken, but Man did Zoraal have to earn it.

Just one little issue. WHO IS GULOOL JA'S MOM??

I cannot believe this wasn't even at least questioned at any point, they put more words towards reasoning how he must be Zoraal's kid cause of his coloring but didn't question who his mother could be? Especially with Sphene the LITERAL QUEEN right there looking AWKWARD AS HELL when he's brought up.

My guess is this will be explored in the patches, but good GOD you thought FFXIV was shitty with its female characters, Gulool's mom wasn't even a character! Legit negative for me and any further storyline is just going to make me question why it wasn't relevant earlier.

However to shift tracks to GOOD female characters, I freakin' love Wuk Lamat! I love her design her facial expressions her voice good god her VOICE, I love her goals and how she tries to relate to her enemies but will not hold back but also won't sacrifice others to get what she wants.

I know she's every shonen protagonist rolled into an orange tabby, and that's great! They didn't stumble once with her as far as I'm concerned.

I'm probably gonna have to devote a whole other post to thoughts about Sphene and the Twelfth(?) reflection's fate. I appreciate that the stakes have been simultaneously scaled back but also shifted, I guess sideways would be the best description?

I find it interesting that the main threat is very similar to in Endwalker-that of moving on from dead end ways of living. But while Endwalker was finding a reason to go on living, Dawntrail is about finding peace with death. Cause you need both to live a happy life, and to have a society that doesn't eat itself, or everything around it.

Also a quick comment on msq-appropriate jobs; obviously any job is great, but I feel really good about sticking with both Dark Knight and Viper throughout. Viper in particular, for having both its roots in the main setting, and its capstone ability Reawaken has you call upon the memories of your hunter forbears, a kind of healthier version of the regulators' soul consumption ability. And Dark Knight is just my WoL's canon job, but also her self-styled title comes from DRK's quest title The Boundless Dark. So I HAD to finish the expansion as The Boundless Queen standing against The Queen Eternal.

Unfortunately, the Neo-Ishgardian Top didn't get the texture upgrade, so it clashes a bit too much. I'm gonna have to work out a good glam, but am using the Fallen set plus pieces of the Neo Kingdom Fending set as I get them.

Viper on the other hand, is perfect as it is and I love it. I don't even have to finish the role quests except for completeness. Look at the worn folds in the leather!

Anyway those are my current thoughts, I've only since unlocked Expert roulette and will start the normal raids later tonight, and then level crafters this weekend. Time to do the mmo bit!

Edit: Also the raid series is gonna be perfect for Alice. "Time to honor the memory of your queen! With Bloodsport! Let's go Zenos!" *Shinryu minion squealing sounds*

[babymetaldoll]

Baby, I'm yours: - Chapter six: "Never forget I'm your man"

Summary: Spencer has been preparing a surprise for his cherie. The team gets a 5 am call that puts everybody on edge. 

Warning: Extreme fluff, smut (p in v), cursing, and that's it. 

Word count: 10.1K

A/N: Honestly, this was self-indulging to write, and I hope you all enjoy it.  Likes, comments and reblogs are always welcome! 

Btw, if you want the whole trip to Hawaii story, you can read the one shot here

Series Masterlist | General Masterlist | Prequel Masterlist

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(Y/N)'s point of view

After a few weeks, I must say living with Spencer felt like it wasn't anything new. And don't get me wrong, it's not that it wasn't exciting, 'cos it was! What I mean is that it felt right, like what I had always been supposed to do. Yes, sometimes it felt like we needed more room, but we didn't care. His apartment was perfect for the two of us. We would spend the weekends cuddled on the couch, reading or watching old movies. Or kissing. Sometimes all three. It was our own paradise, our little piece of heaven we didn't want to tell anyone from work about. Between those walls, there were no cases, no sorrows, and no pain. Just us, in love, enjoying our company.

Yet still, we could feel the emptiness and sorrow of Emily's loss, and we discovered that sharing time with JJ and Will helped us. Taking Henry out to the park, or just having brunch together on Sunday. We knew she missed her as much as we did, and she became a big support for us during that period.

Morgan was going through his grieving alone though. He was mad at the world for taking Emily, and I completely understood his struggle. Penelope was always there for him, and I was glad those two could count on each other. It felt somehow similar to what Spencer and I had, though they weren't a couple: no matter what, they were always there for each other.

Except for that minute, when Spencer was nowhere to be found. It was Thursday night, and after he finished work, he rushed out of the bullpen telling me he had to attend yet another seminar. He had three seminars and a congress in the last three weeks and thought he promised he would be back home for dinner, it was already nine, and Spencer Walter Reid was nowhere to be seen. I texted him, but he didn't even read the message.

I stared at the kitchen and sighed. The primavera stuffed chicken was ready. I was turning into a Pinterest housewife who loved trying new recipes at least twice a week, or when work allowed me to. Spencer often joked his vest was going to start getting too tight if I continued cooking like that. That wasn't going to stop me, by the way.

- "Pumpkin! I'm home!"- Spencer announced as soon as he opened the front door.

- "Hey honey bunny! How was the seminar?"

- "Boring!"- my boyfriend walked to me as I set the table, and wrapped his arms around me- "I just wanted to come home and be with you."

- "Really? But you just sat next to me the entire day at work"- I felt his lips assaulting my neck as he chuckled and soon reached my mouth, holding my face with both hands, trapping me. As if I planned to move away from him.

- "The work time is not enough. Besides, I couldn't even kiss you. That's unfair"- and so, Spencer kissed me even deeper, and with more passion. As if he hadn't actually seen me three hours earlier.

- "Ready for dinner?"- I whispered as I parted from him slowly. If we didn't stop that kiss there, we were never going to eat.

- "Starving."

- "Go wash your hands while I finish here."

- "Yes ma'am"- Spencer pecked my lips and smiled before walking to the bathroom. I stared at him for a second and sighed. I never thought I could be so happy.

- "Hello?"- I picked up the phone as I reheated the mashed potatoes.

- "Hey nugget! What's up!"

- "Paco! I haven't heard from you in over two weeks, what happened? Were you mad? Abducted? New girlfriend?"- I heard my friend laughing at the other side of the line as I opened the oven and took out the chicken.

- "Neither, just lots of work. But I have great news, we are playing this Saturday in the Black Cat at eight, and you and the doc are officially invited to join us."

- "Sounds good! I haven't seen you play live in what feels like ages!"

- "I know, Mikey said he doesn't even remember your face."

- "How is my baby?"

- "I saw him earlier at rehearsal. He is ok, still dating the girl you didn't like, so please be nice and ignore her Saturday if she shows up."

- "Damn! Can't she get sick or something?"- Frank giggled. I knew he didn't like Mikey's girlfriend either, but I would always be the cruel one. He used to say a was a very jealous friend, but I wasn't usually wrong when I didn't like one of their dates.

- "I dunno, cross your fingers she doesn't want to go. Why do you hate her by the way?"

- "She looks like a gold digger to me."

- "It's not like Mikey is loaded."- Paco chuckled at his words and I simply sighed as I checked on dinner.

- "Yeah, but he is making good money and she seems to be very high maintenance. The last time I talked to Mikey, he told me he had bought her a new iPhone."

- "And little shit made me pay for pizza earlier!"- I laughed and grabbed a few dishes.

- "Well, if we don't have to catch any psycho killer, I promise we'll be there, front row, clapping and cheering you, as always."

- "Thank you nugget. I knew I could count on you. And how's doc?"

- "Good, he just got home and we are about to have dinner."

- "Give him my regards. I will leave you to enjoy your evening with your man. Love you!"

- "Love you, Paco. See you soon!"

Lucky for Frank, that weekend we didn't have to leave town, and after Spending most of the morning in bed, reading, drinking coffee, and making love, Spencer finally let me out of the sheets and into the shower.

- "I thought we could have some dinner before going to see the band"- he said as he drove through town.

- "Sounds good, I'm starving. Where do you wanna go?"

- "I dunno... let's see what we can find."- my boyfriend gave me a mysterious grin and held my hand.

- "Where are you taking me, Spencer?"

- "You'll see."

After less than half an hour, he parked outside the 24/7 dinner I used to frequent a lot when I was at the academy, 'cos it kept me sugar-loaded and caffeine high.

- "Hey, I remember this place."- I said as soon as we walked in.

- "Do you, really?"- Spencer's lips curved in a tiny smirk as he stared at me.

- "Yes, we came here after that party in Garcia's when I first joined the team."

- "Yes, we did"- Spencer grinned and pointed to an empty booth- "And I will forever consider that night as our first date."

- "Really?"- I sat and looked at him, raising an eyebrow- "You were aware back then I was dating someone else, right honey?"

- "I do. But I also know you never loved Paul"- I blushed and nodded. Though I knew it was true, it was very different when Spencer pointed it out. And even weirder when he remarked it with a cocky smile on his lips.

- "Are you implying I already loved you back in those days?"

- "Did you?"

- "I don't remember..."- I teased and he chuckled.

- "Well, I already knew you were the most special woman I had ever met."

- "I had been on the team just for four weeks or so."

- "And?"

- "You are full of shit, Spencer!"- I chuckled and he laughed- "Are you trying to tell me you've always loved me?"

- "You know I have, from day one."- he held my hand and kissed it- "It's true. I'm not telling you this 'cause I think you need to hear it. I wanted you to know 'cos that's how we all feel."

- "Can I take your order?"- a waitress interrupted us and forced us to pay attention to the menu instead. Spencer asked for a cheese sandwich and I ordered a burger, plus two cupcakes and two cups of coffee. Yes, we were hungry, but in our defense, we had spent most of the day in bed, naked.

- "That day you told me something I never forgot."- I whisper and keep staring at my hands as we wait for our food.

- "I remember I told you you had been an incredible addition to the team, and that your linguistic knowledge was a great tool to crack cases."- he said and rested his hands on mine, making me see one more time, how tiny my hands were compared to his.

- "No, you thanked me for being nice to you, even though you were a barely tolerable person. And I remember thinking how could you say that if you were the only person in the whole FBI I wanted to hang out and be friends with since day one."

- "See? You did always love me."- Spencer smiled and I shook my head.

- "I also remember thinking you had the most beautiful smile ever, but I didn't tell you 'cos I didn't want to make you nervous."

- "You made me nervous anyway, chipmunk"- Spencer chuckled and added- "You told me you liked my random facts, so from that day on I've tried to give you at least one fact every day. And you always seemed sincerely interested in what I was saying. I never really had a chance, chipmunk, I know I've fallen in love with you every day since the first time we talked."

I stared into his eyes and bit my lips, thinking no one had ever said to me anything nearly as romantic and sincere as Spencer had said. He smiled and so did I, fighting the tears in my eyes.

- "You are very romantic tonight, honey bunny."

- "Yes, I am, ma cherie. Let's say tonight I am happy I have you with me, and I just want to make you happy."

- "If I had known that was your plan, I would have never left that bed."- my boyfriend chuckled and blushed, funny how he could be so bold at times, and still, be the shy man I had fallen in love with over five years before.

We ate our dinner remembering the first year we worked together. All the midnight cupcakes we shared all over the country when we were out of the city for a case, and neither of us could sleep. And for the first time ever since we were a couple, we analyzed our trip to Hawaii and how much we both suffered for being fools in love. We had a very nice evening, it was so amusing to finally share what was going on in each other's heads during the time, I was really enjoying my time.

Spencer's point of view

That night I was freaking out. Three weeks in the making were about to pay off, and I was terrified anything could go wrong. And the worst part was having to lie to (Y/N). I had to use all my profiler's tactics to keep her in the dark about what was going on. The escapades after work, pretending I had to attend a congress or seminars, sneaking to work on a secret project I had for her, everything was going to come out to the light that night, and I needed everything to be perfect.

- "Do you wanna know what was infuriating all the years we were just friends?"- (Y/N) asked and took a spoon of her brownie and ice cream.

- "Do tell, ma cherie."

- "The fact you were oblivious to all the girls flirting with you! And I was always so mad and jealous!"

- "No one ever flirted with me! Ever!"- I excused myself, shocked.

- "You made out with Lila Archer in a pool!"

- "Ok! That was the only time!"

- "You got that waitress's phone number 'cos you did that magic trick for her!"

- "I was working!"

- "Sure thing! How long did you keep the card with the kiss she sent you? It was on your desk, on display!"- I laughed and shook my head, denying any interest in that woman.

- "I forgot about it!"

- "Of course, Mr eidetic memory!"- I chuckled and watched her smiling at me, looking honestly happy.

- "I don't know why you are whining so much, during our trip to Hawaii I had to keep the guys away from you! If I remember clearly, I had to pretend I was your husband many times during those days"- (Y/N) blushed immediately and shook her head.

- "I only said that to that first guy 'cos I really wanted it to be our honeymoon"- I hear her confess after all those years- "I tried to get your attention the entire time, and you didn't even look at me."

- "Didn't look at you? I couldn't keep my eyes from you!"- my voice was so loud I nearly shrieked, as my ears and face turned blood red immediately- "I was so in love with you, and there you were, walking around almost naked! Every day you wore a smaller outfit than the previous, you were driving me insane!"

- "What?"- She widened her eyes, absolutely surprised by my confession. I couldn't believe she had never noticed.

- "I had to take cold showers at least twice a day!"

- "I was sure you hated being there with me!"

- "I hated not being able to touch you!"- I held her hand, chuckling as I let my fingers linger from hers to her arm, caressing her soft skin- "Maybe that is why now is so hard for me to keep my hands from you."- (Y/N) smiled and sighed, staring into my eyes. I tried to look confident and calm, though I was neither of those things that night.

- "I was so in love with you back then"- my girlfriend whispered- "So in love in fact, it hurt."

- "I felt exactly the same"- I kiss her fingers softly and smiled- "We were really fools in love, ma cherie."

- "Fools, blind, stubborn... you name it. I'm glad those days are over."

- "Me too."- I stared at her in silence, gathering the courage to say the following words- "Ready to go to the show?"- she smiled and nodded, and I quickly raised my arm to get the check. It was almost time. And I still wasn't sure how I was going to pull the strength to do what I had planned for the last few weeks.

The bar was crowded, which worked perfectly for the plan, but it made me feel sick in the stomach. There were a lot of people, and if things didn't go well, I was going to be embarrassed in front of them all. I looked around as we walked in, making sure everything was perfect.

- "Is it just me or does this place seems cleaner than usual?"- (Y/N) asked, staring at the hundred fairy lights around us.

- "Maybe there is new management"- I suggested, and she seemed to find my answer logical 'cos she just nodded, holding my hand tight to not lose me in the crowd. Again, there were so many people there that night! Why?

- "Wanna get a drink?"- I asked her, sort of yelling to make sure she heard me in the crowd and pointed at the bar. She just nodded with a smile and walked there with me.

We stood in front of the stage, each one of us holding a drink. I looked at the instruments and felt the air leaving my lungs. But I couldn't chicken out of it.

- "Did you see the sign that said "Absolutely no crowd surfing or stage diving"?"- (Y/N) asked, giggling- "I am pretty sure they put that after the last time the guys played here!"

I heard her laughing, but I keep staring around me, trying to convince myself this is going to go well.

- "Hey, I was thinking tomorrow we could have brunch with JJ and Will. I miss her."- she added suddenly- "Unless you have some other plans for us."- I shook my head, licking my lips, still looking around me.

- "Sounds good."

- "Are you ok, honey?"- (Y/N) asked and touched my arm- "You look pale."

- "Me? Really? No, I'm ok."

I smiled, making my best to look natural. But I bet she was right, I must be pale. When you're scared, blood flow increases to your vital organs as part of the fight or flight response, while the blood vessels constrict in other areas, like the surface of your skin. And when your skin gets less blood flow, your complexion turns pale. I thought I could explain to her what was going on, but that was a very bad idea. I couldn't tell her why I was so nervous.

- "Sure?"- she asked and looked at me, concerned.

- "Yeah, I'm perfect. Don't worry, chipmunk."

And just as I said those words, the band walked onto the stage, and everybody started clapping, (Y/N) included. She actually started shouting in support. Mikey looked at her right away and chuckled, waving before grabbing his bass.

- "Hi, I'm Frank. These are my friends."- Frank announced on the mic, and avoided looking at the crowd.

- "Go Paco!!"- and he turned and looked at my girlfriend, smiling.

It's hard to believe both Frank and Mikey still got nervous before a show, considering they did it at least three times a month. Well, and if they still got nervous before performing, what else could I expect from myself that night?

The first three songs passed way too fast. (Y/N) sang along and jumped the entire time. At least she was enjoying the show. I looked around and noticed everybody was there too. Penelope and Morgan were with JJ at the back of the place. Hotch and Rossi stood at the end of the bar. And Lu was on one side of the stage, taking pictures of the band. I jumped a little, just to make sure I still could move.

None of them knew what was gonna happen, and I wondered what Rossi had thought when he stepped into the bar. It was clearly not the type of places he frequented, the same as Hotch, JJ, Garcia, and Morgan. Honestly, the only person who took me to these bars was (Y/N), to enjoy local bands, which I actually liked a lot after all those years. The first couple of times she took me to bars with live rock shows I thought she was trying to prank me. Then I realized people were nice, and no one was gonna beat me, and I finally got to relax, and enjoy the shows.

- "What are we doing here, pretty boy?"- Morgan texted me and I chuckled.

- "Please don't tell me we've got a case"- (Y/N) asked as soon as she noticed I had my phone in my hand.

- "No, Morgan wanted to talk to me. I'm gonna give him a call outside, I'll be right back, ok? Wait right here!"- she nodded and continued watching the show. I walked to a side of the stage and made my way to the back without being seen by my girlfriend, who luckily was really into the show to notice me.

Mikey walked all over the stage as Frankie sang and played guitar. The fact he wasn't the best lead singer, but still everybody enjoyed watching him perform was encouraging. It almost gave me hope.

- "Ok kids, this is the last song!"- Frank announced on the mic and I started jumping on my spot. This was it, I was doing this, it was real.

- "And we are gonna do something kinda different for once. First, I wanna invite my dear friend Shawn to come to the stage with us and join us on the keyboards."- the crowd clapped and cheered, at least they were all being nice.

- "And also, we've got a very special guest tonight. He is my brother, one of my best friends, and the nicest guy I've ever met! Come here before I start sucking your dick, Doctor Spencer Reid!"

I don't know how I managed to move and walked up to the stage. The lights blinded me as soon as I stood in front of everybody, and Frank tapped on my back, helping me to move until I reached the mic, the one he quickly started adjusting to my height. I looked at the crowd and tried to find my girlfriend, who waved and stared at me in shock. I smiled at her and took a deep breath.

- "Hi, my name is Spencer Reid"- I said into the mic and my voice started shaking- "And tonight I wanna dedicate a song to the love of my life, my girlfriend (Y/N)."

I could see her face blushing as she kept looking at me in shock. I was shocked I was going that as well, so we definitely shared the feeling. Shawn started playing the keyboard, I looked at Frank and Mikey and the two of them smiled at me, so I just grabbed the mic and started singing.

Don't wish it away

Don't look at it like it's forever

Between you and me, I could honestly say

That things can only get better

I know I was way out of tune, my voice was shaking, as well as my knees, and I can't hold a note for the life of me. But I looked at my girlfriend, who was still shocked to see me on stage and noticed her big, beautiful smile. And that's all I needed to continue singing with all my heart.

And while I'm away

Dust out the demons inside

And it won't be long before you and me run

To the place in our hearts where we hide

Surprisingly, and despite how awful of a singer I am, the crow started cheering. I could see Hotch and Rossi clapping, along with Morgan from the bar, as Penelope kept recording everything. I chuckled as I heard them cheering and focused my entire attention on (Y/N)'s eyes. I was scared she would freak out and run out of the bar. And that wasn't even the most stressful part of my plan. What did I get into? I didn't care at that moment, because I knew she was totally worth any sacrifice.

(Y/N)'s point of view

What on earth was Spencer doing on that stage? Why was he doing that?! How the fuck did Frank and Mikey get on board with this?! I didn't know what to think or what to do. I just stood there, in front of my boyfriend, who kept singing with all his heart and was absolutely out of tune, one of my favorite songs ever.

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Time on my hands could be time spent with you

Laughing like children, livin' like lovers

Rolling like thunder under the covers

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

He reached one of my hands at the end of the chorus and helped me walk onto the stage. He kissed my hand as I stood by his side and looked at the audience for a second. Everybody here is cheering. Did they know this was going to happen?!

Just stare into space

Picture my face in your hands

Live for each second without hesitation

And never forget I'm your man

I chuckled nervously as Spencer pronounced those words in front of our friends. He actually wrapped an arm around my waist and swung with me, dancing on our spot. I was glad Morgan didn't hear him saying that. Well, Frank and Mikey did and they were gonna tease him just as much as Derek would. If not more.

Wait on me, girl

Cry in the night if it helps

But more than ever, I simply love you

More than I love life itself

Spencer kept holding my hand and spun me a few times as he sang. He was nailing it, he was owning that stage. I knew he was scared, but he was committed to his performance. I couldn't help but giggle the entire time, I was so nervous everybody was staring at us, and cheering at Spencer. But at the same time, I was so moved he had prepared this in secret just for me, to show me how much he loves me. It was the most romantic thing on earth, and I didn't know how I was going to top that.

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Time on my hands could be time spent with you

Laughing like children, livin' like lovers

Rolling like thunder under the covers

And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Spencer finished singing and the bar blew up. Everybody was cheering and he just looked at me laughing, neither of us really processing what was going on. He bowed and waved at the crowd, but instead of walking out of the stage, as I thought we would, he turned to me and started talking on the mic.

- "Chipmunk, I know I am not the best singer on earth by far, but you are always singing the most beautiful songs to me and that always melts my heart. So I thought I needed to reciprocate you in the most painfully romantic way possible."

I chuckled as he spoke and looked around. Frank and Mikey were with Lu standing at one side of the stage, and "Baby, I'm yours" by the Arctic Monkeys started playing at the back. The whole place was filled with fairy lights and the main lights were dimmed, so it looked pretty romantic for a rock bar.

- "You have made me the happiest man alive ever since the day I met you. Just getting to live my life next to you was enough for me to die happy. But now that I've got you, that you are mine the way I am yours, I just... can't"- Spencer's voice broke and I held his hand tighter.

- "I love you"- I said as tears started falling from my eyes. He smiled and nodded, kissing my hand.

- "I love you too, ma chèrie. And I know this might be too soon for some people, but you and I wasted too much time hiding our feelings from each other. That's why tonight I need to ask you the only thing that could make me complete."

I froze as I stared at Spencer searching for something in his pocket and coming down on one knee in front of me. The crowd gasped as I widened my eyes, not even able to breathe. It was happening. It was actually happening.

- "(Y/N) (Y/L/N) would you marry me?"

I covered my mouth with both hands as I stared at my sweet prince charming, offering an incredibly beautiful ring to me. I looked into his eyes and started giggling, absolutely nervous and giddy with excitement, at the time I nodded and he smiled.

- "Of course I'd marry you, honey!"- in a second, he jumped from the floor and wrapped his arms around me. The entire place started cheering as Spencer hugged me and kissed me.

- "Really?"- he asked, shaking and I nodded, kissing him again.

- "Yes, really. I love you so much!"

- "I love you more!"- we kissed again and Spencer placed the ring on my finger. I stared at it and laughed, still in shock at what had just happened.

- "Congratulations!"- Frank, Lu, and Mikey screamed at the same time as they hugged us.

- "I can't believe this is happening"- I said as I chuckled- "And how did you guys get into this?"

- "Come on, let's get off the stage and we'll tell you everything"- Frank said and started walking. But neither Spencer nor I could move, 'cos someone grabbed my arm and pulled me.

- "Munchkin!! Boy genius!! Oh my god!! You're getting married!!"

- "Penelope?! What are you doing here?!"- I was confused, and it didn't get better when I realized Rossi, Hotch, JJ, Will, and Morgan were there as well.

- "Reid told us we had to come today for a surprise. And now we are all in shock"- Rossi said and tapped Spence's cheek- "Congratulations, kid."

- "Thank you for coming"- my boyfriend said as everybody hugged us.

- "We have so much planning to do!"- and of course, Garcia was ecstatic.

- "Lover boy!!"- Derek teased Spencer- "I can't believe you are getting married!"

- "Guys! We have to clean the stage for the next band, come on!"- Frank announced and clapped his hands- "We can keep celebrating back home!"

- "What?"- I asked and widened my eyes, still in shock.

- "I organized a little get-together at our apartment for tonight"- Spencer confessed, blushing even more- "I hoped you'd say yes and I thought maybe we could have a glass of champagne at our apartment afterward."

- "What? What do you mean with our apartment boy wonder?"- Garcia asked in shock. I opened my mouth to explain, but her expression left me speechless.

- "We... actually started living together a few weeks ago"- Spencer confessed, blushing, maybe a little embarrassed. Sure, he was cool performing in front of a whole bar, but he was nervous to tell our friends we were in fact living together.

- "And you didn't tell us?!"

- "We wanted to keep it a secret for a while until things were more settled and..."- Spencer tried to explain and I nodded. And all I managed to say was:

- "Surprise!!"- and felt Spencer's arms around me again. I stared at him, tears filling my eyes as I held his hand tight and simply smiled.

- "I love you so much, honey bunny."

- "I love you more, ma cherie."

- "Come on! Knock it off!"- Mikey argued, but Lu laughed at him.

- "They are about to get way worse, so get used to it."

- "Shit, and we have to work with them"- Rossi added, making us laugh as we walked out of the bar.

While we were out of our apartment, Lu managed to get everything ready for us. Spencer had gotten drinks and food in advantage and hidden it all at Lu's. I was shocked. I honestly never saw any of that coming. As soon as I opened the front door I read the "Congratulations Reids" sign hanging on the wall and nearly started crying again. There were balloons and decorations, it was a party! And I was completely in the dark about everything.

- "Spencer Walter Reid, you lied to me"- I argued as I stared around us. The team and our friends were getting settled and I still couldn't believe I was engaged to my best friend.

- "Yes, for three weeks I kept lying to you every day"- he confessed with a massive grin- "I was a little worried your profiling skills were not working at all this entire time."

- "Hey! I trusted you! Now I know I can't!"

- "No, you can't stop trusting me now, how am I going to surprise you for our anniversaries to come?"- Spencer held me closer, wrapping his arms around my waist, and kissed my lips sweetly.

- "I am never going to get used to seeing you acting like a couple"- JJ said and shook her head. I hugged Spencer and hid my face against his chest.

- "You kinda get used to it after you bump into them sucking faces every day for a month"- Morgan said (more like complaining) but still kept a silly grin on his face.

- "Yes, Strauss even forced us to go through an entire PDA seminar because of those two"- Rossi added, chuckling.

- "That wasn't just our fault!"- I argued right away- "I don't call my coworker chocolate thunder."

- "No, but it's a known fact that your coworker tells you during his lunch break that he wants to read to you while you are naked in bed"- Penelope's words made me blush in less than a second, and what made it all worse was knowing Mikey and Frank heard her.

- "Read her naked? That's nothing, once I walked into them having phone sex"- Frank said right away and I nearly yelled.

- "We were not having phone sex!!"

- "Situation said otherwise"- my friend added nonchalantly and I smacked his arm right away.

- "I swear, if you keep telling that story, you are not going to the wedding"- I threatened Frank and he fakely gasped, pretending to be insulted.

- "Ok guys, enough."- Spencer chuckled - "How about we make a toast?"

Everyone grabbed a glass and champagne bottles appeared out of the blue. I held my glass and Spencer's hand as I watched him thank our friends.

- "Honestly, this wouldn't have been possible without Frank, Mikey, and Lu. Thank you so much, guys, for all your help. Frank, I know you struggled hearing me sing during rehearsals"- Paco chuckled right away and raised his glass.

- "I never heard anyone who sang worst than me, you really gave me hope, doc."

- "I'm glad I inspired you"- Spencer laughed and continued- "Thank you guys for helping me propose to my lovely lady, I will always be grateful for all your support and encouragement during the last couple of days."

- "It was a pleasure, doc"- Mikey said raising his glass- "We all knew this was going to happen eventually anyway."

- "Yeah, it was shocking, but none of us is actually in shock right now"- Garcia added as everybody nodded- "Except for the fact you never told us you were living together."

- "I'm glad to hear that, 'cos I was a little scared you were all going to say it's too soon"- Spencer confessed and looked at our friends.

- "Kid, after how long it took you to tell her how you felt, I am glad you proposed within two months"- Rossi's words made me chuckle. Spencer raised his glass and simply said.

- "Thank you for sharing this amazing moment with us."

- "Cheers"-everybody replied and sipped their drinks.

- "Also, I hope you know this is not your engagement party. I am throwing you one in a few weeks in my mansion"- David announced and everyone cheered.

- "Thank you, papa pasta"- I reached out and held his hand for a moment, he squeezed it and cut me a big grin- "And thank you all for coming. I am sure you were all shocked when you heard the band."

- "The band was great, but when boy wonder stepped on the stage I was like "Wow! I never saw this coming in a million years'"- Penelope said- "And then he proposed and it all made sense! I kinda suspected this could happen tonight, but I refused to have hopes. After all the years you made us wait to get together, I really thought this was gonna take another five years in the making."

Spencer's point of view

I stared at (Y/N) standing on the other side of the room, piling dishes and glasses in the sink. Everybody was gone after sharing a happy moment with us. Finally. Don't get me wrong, I love our friends, but that night I realized that the ring on (Y/N)'s finger might be the biggest turn-on I had ever had.

I stood by the kitchen door and stared at her in silence. She looked gorgeous even doing daily chores. I still couldn't believe she wanted to marry me and spend the rest of her life with me. I was just a man and she was a goddess, how could she long for a lifetime with me? It made no sense. I had never been so lucky before. I had never been lucky at all, in fact. So if that goddess had fallen in love with me, the only thing left to do was to worship her as she deserved. And that I knew I could do until the day I died.

- "What is my lovely ​fiancée doing?"- I asked as I walked to her and wrapped my arms around her middle, standing right behind her.

- "Cleaning a little, so we don't have a messy kitchen in the morning"- she replied and rested her head against my chest- "I loved the way you just called me ​fiancée, by the way."

- "Did you know back in the mid-19th century, English borrowed that word from variants of the French verb fiancer, which means "to betroth"?

- "I love it when you talk facts, my sweet fiancé. Tell me more"- she whispered as she turned and faced me with a big grin.

- "The masculine form of the word is fiancé, with just an e at the end; while the feminine form is fiancée, with a double e, though the pronunciation of both is identical."- she smiled and kissed me, playing with her sweet lips against mine and running her tongue between them for a very brief instant. Way too brief for my liking.

- "Who would have imagined?"- she replied and smiled.

- "I'm guessing you, 'cos I just remembered you are a master in linguistics"- (Y/N) chuckled and nodded.

- "It's ok, it sounds cooler when you say it."

- "That's not ok. Let me make it up for that lousy fact, ma cherie."

- "How are you planning to do that, honey bunny?"- I just smiled and scooped her in my arms to start walking to our room- "What are you doing?"

- "Showing you how much I love being your fiancé, with just one e"- she laughed as I laid her on the bed and hovered over her, kissing her immediately. My hands cupped her face as I held her in place, positioning my body right upon hers. Her fingers played with my hair, and I moaned against her lips at the sensation. I loved it when she did that. I could live in that kiss and die happy any second.

- "You have been extremely romantic today, honey"- she whispered and giggled- "Maybe I should reward you."

- "No chipmunk. Tonight you are mine."

- "I'm yours"- she whispered and smiled as if the sentence had just hit her- "I've always been yours and now I'm gonna be yours until the end of time."

Her words melted my heart and I had to fight the tears, because of all the sweet things she had said to me over the years, those words were the prettiest and most meaningful. I caressed her cheeks and kissed her again, tasting her in my mouth. The warmth of her body underneath me was captivating, and it felt like a magnet, keeping me in place, unable to move.

- "I wanna feel you in me"- she whispered against my lips- "Please."

To hear her begging made my cock get even harder underneath my clothes. And that was a problem: there was too much clothing on us at the moment.

My hands quickly, but carefully peeled off her clothes from her body, as she tried to do the same with me, getting rid of my sweater and shirt in no time. She was now naked underneath me and I stood for a second to get out of my pants and boxers, as I stared at her in adoration.

- "Did you know that ring makes you look very sexy?"- I confessed as she blushed more, if possible.

- "No, I had no idea."

- "Yes, I can't imagine what your wedding ring will make you look like. I'm gonna have trouble keeping my hands off you after we get married"- (Y/N) laughed and I finally got rid of all my clothes and quickly returned to my place, between her legs. I kissed her with hunger as my hands moved up and down her body, as my hard cock rubbed against her clit.

- "Why would you try to keep your hands off me? I'm gonna be your wife, you'll have to fuck me hard every day. That'll be your duty"- she murmured between kisses, and I groaned at the thought of her being my wife- "And you wanna fulfill your conjugal chores, don't you?"

- "Yes"- I managed to give her a breathy answer as I focused on leaving sloppy kisses on her neck, as one of my hands pinched her nipple, toying with it between my fingers. I felt one of her hands moving slowly to my dick, and she slowly guided it to her entrance.

- "Eager, aren't we?"- I whispered and she giggled.

- "You have no idea how much I want you right now, daddy"

- "Tell me"- I begged right away, as her fingers played with my dick, stroking it and teasing me.

- "I want you so much I nearly dragged you to the bathroom earlier when the guys were still here. I've been wet since we were at the diner, and I just wanted to come back home and feel you filling every inch of me. I need you to feel your cum dripping from me."

- "Fuck"- I mumbled and focused on her breast again, licking them as she kept stroking me. Until this time, I begged her- "Please, let me fuck you. I need to feel you wrapped around my cock."- but she didn't reply. Instead, she guided me right to her entrance and my dick moved in slowly.

- "Oh god"- she mumbled against my shoulder- "You feel so good, Spencer. Please, fuck me."

And she didn't need to ask me twice. I slowly started moving inside her, as my lips focused on her neck, exposed to my will.

- "Is this what you were longing for, ma cherie?"- I asked her and she nodded, biting her lips, as soft moans erupted from her. That was music to my ears. I moved faster, feeling her nails scratching my back. I held her close to me the entire time as if she might disappear from one minute to the other. Which, I had always been afraid of.

- "I love you so much"- I heard her whispering- "Yes, daddy, just like that"

- "Oh, ma cherie, you are so tight and so warm, I really could just live inside you."

- "I won't object"- she answered and giggled- "I just wanna be yours"

- "And I, yours"- I rested my forehead on hers and stared at her beauty for a minute, trying to soak it all in.

- "Please, marry me"- I literally pleaded and she smiled.

- "You already asked and I already said yes, honey"- I nodded and sped up my peace, feeling her wrapped around my cock, all warm and wet, just like heaven.

- "And can we have a lot of babies?"- the question slipped my lips without me actually thinking of it, and when I heard it, I realized I had fucked it up. That wasn't the moment, I knew it, but I couldn't help it.

- "All the babies you want"- she gasped and looked at me. I smiled and so did she. Our lips were inches apart, and her moans kept encouraging me to fuck her a little harder, a little faster.

- "That's a dangerous answer, ma cherie."- I whispered and bit her lower lips, earring a soft whimper from her.

- "I'll take my chances."- she smiled and kissed me. I moved one of my hands between her legs and slowly started rubbing her clit, feeling her tremble underneath me.

- "Please don't stop, honey."

- "As you wish"

I could feel her walls pulsating around me as her moans became louder. She hid her face on the crock of my neck and bit me as her climax approached faster. I could feel my own release getting closer as well.

- "Please Spencer"- she whimpered.

- "What do you need, ma cherie?"

- "Make me cum, I wanna cum with you and feel you spilling inside me"

- "Fuck!"-

I rested my forehead against her and kissed her slowly. My hips kept crashing against her body as waves of pleasure rocked us. I kept up with my pace and felt her rise her hips a little, helping me reach that exact point inside her that made her come undone.

Her body twisted in pleasure as my fingers kept playing with her clit and I watched her cum underneath me as an opera. I could watch her unravel in pleasure forever.

- "I love you"- she whispered, panting, and kissed my lips before I let myself go into the pleasure and came inside her with a loud groan. She wrapped her arms around me as tight as possible while I came, and kissed my neck, marking me.

- "I love you too"- I managed to say a few minutes later, feeling the sweat on my forehead and her fingers playing with my hair again.

- "Sir, you are too good to me"- she whispered and smiled- "You make me so happy sometimes I feel it's not fair."- I chuckled and kissed the top of her nose, as I stayed still inside of her for a few more minutes, enjoying her warmth.

- "I know exactly how you feel, chipmunk."

(Y/N) was asleep next to me later that night, but I wasn't able to close my eyes. Her head rested on my chest as my arms still held her close to my body. I sighed and tried to chase away every sad and depressing thought from my head. I was too happy to be real, and that scared me. I had never been that happy and a voice inside me kept reminding me I didn't really deserve it.

- "Please, never leave me"- I whispered and kissed the top of her head.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The news of our engagement made mom and dad very happy. They were so excited they actually planned a family dinner with my brother (who was now single again) and no one fought. No one. It was magic. I had never seen mom so excited before in my life. She hugged Spencer over ten times during the night. And each time I reminded her he didn't like touching, but he dismissed my words with a smile and a simple shake of his head.

- "It's ok, chipmunk. I like feeling welcome."

- "Oh god! You are so welcome in this family, Spencer!"- and so, mom hugged him again, making dad laugh.

- "I had never seen her so happy before."- I pointed out as I poured more wine.

- "That's 'cos she was sure you were never going to get married"- Phoenix explained and lifted his glass to me, waiting to serve him some more as well- "Because of your work, not because you couldn't"- he added with a smile.

- "Sure..."

Diana was excited as well. Spencer sent her a letter telling her how the proposal went, and I added a polaroid picture of us from that night's celebration. When Spencer told me it was his mother who gave him the ring, I wrote her a whole letter myself, in gratitude not only for the gesture but also for her support. She replied in a few days, with a lovely letter calling me officially her daughter, and notifying me she would call me only that so from now on. Her letter also included a quote from Plato, which seemed so fitting for the moment it watered up my eyes when I read it: "Every heart sings a song, incomplete until another heart whispers back. Those who wish to sing always find a song. At the touch of a lover, everyone becomes a poet."

I was in heaven.

Until we got a five am call to go to the BAU on a Wednesday morning. That wasn't normal. And there was not enough coffee in the entire FBI to keep me awake that morning. I sat at the table in the meeting room and looked around at my friend's sleepy faces. Derek was serious, staring at his notebook, Rossi and Seaver were talking about something, and Spencer was playing with my hand on the table. García walked in, looking scared, and stared at us, counting.

- "Where's Hotch?"

- "Any minute."- Rossi replied, not taking his eyes from his iPad screen

- "I didn't get a file sent to me. Did a case go directly to him?"- she asked as she sat down at the other side of the table.

- "Don't know."

- "When's the last time he called a meeting this early?"- Seaver asked and I was scared of that answer, 'cos it was the thought I had ever since the phone rang and I didn't even want to bring it up to not scare Spencer. Though it was obvious he knew it too.

- "Three years, eight months ago."- he answered and I squeezed his hand.

- "And what happened?"- Seaver seemed confused.

- "Gideon left."- I whispered and Spencer nodded. That freaked García right away.

- "Who's leaving?!"

- "Nobody's leaving, babygirl"- Derek sentenced right away, but he looked at us and I could read the nervousness on his face. He wasn't sure of what was happening, none of us were. And after Emily's death, I was afraid to lose another teammate. And sometimes I felt my life with Spencer was so perfect, something very bad was bound to happen.

- "I appreciate everyone coming in early."- Hotch said suddenly, walking in a hurry.

- "What's going on?"- Rossi questioned right away and my heart skipped a beat in fear of very bad news.

- "The Director called a meeting last night to discuss budgets."

- "They skipped over Strauss?"- Rossi seemed shocked.

- "She's away."- Aaron dismissed the question and continued- "The Bureau is facing a lot of changes and this unit is no exception. Over the next few weeks, each of you is going to be asked if you'd like to stay with the unit.

- "What?"- the question just left my lips and never went through my brain.

- "Why wouldn't we?"- Spencer asked, confused and I immediately held his hand again, going against all the PDA rules.

- "There are other options for you out there. And while I want the unit to stay together, I understand completely if you want to see what the alternatives are."

Hotch looked at us with something that could be described as crestfallen, but he kept trying to hide it behind his hardest face. I looked at Spencer and he turned to me. Neither of us liked the idea of leaving the BAU, and less the thought of losing another teammate. This was really bad timing.

- "Morgan, there's renewed interest in you from the New York office."- Hotch added and we all turned to Derek right away.

- "Nobody's called me."

- "They will."

- "That doesn't mean I'm gonna go."

- "Oh, I know."

- "Are you staying here?"- Seaver asked and I focused all my attention on reading Hotch's face as the thought his answer and finally said:

- "It's my intention."- it was clear it wasn't his decision to make. Someone wanted to shake our team. But why?- "All I ask is if you are contacted by another division that you let me know."

Hotch's speech was cut by his cell phone. I was still shocked and scared as I heard him saying to whoever had called that we were going to be there in 20 minutes. None of us moved our eyes from him during the time that phone call lasted.

- "Virginia State police believe they've uncovered a serial killer. They need us at Zacha Road and Route 7 as soon as possible. Morgan, you and Dave get out there."

- "What about this?"- I asked him and Penelope nodded.

- "Yes, we need to talk about this, Hotch."

- "We can talk about it later."- he simply replied and stood up. I looked at my teammates, all of us still trying to process what had just happened. But there was no time, we had to catch a serial killer. Again.

- "Relax, you know I'm not going anywhere"- I said to my boyfriend as soon as I reached his desk.

- "I know. Me neither."- he assured me and we both nodded as if we had just made a silent vow- "Well, I guess this is gonna be a long day."

- "I'll make a nice dinner to compensate."- my words made him smile and his eyes shone with happiness. We had each other, and that was all that mattered at that moment.

Spencer's point of view

(Y/N) made coffee and we started working on the geographic profile of the case with Ashley. Hotch locked himself in his office and none of us mentioned what had happened during the morning. Instead, we just worked. So far, all we knew was that a potential serial killer was killing and moving victims between states.

- "The only reason we have this case is because of an accident."- I mumbled, staring at the map.

- "You know the odds of that?"- Ashley asked and I heard my girlfriend chuckling.

- "Is that rhetorical? 'Cos you know he does"- Ashley smiled at (Y/N)'s comment as I just continued staring at the map on the board.

- "You think the unsub is working alone?"- Ashley asked us, but instead, (Y/N) asked her.

- "What do you think?"

- "Unlikely. It's high-risk to move one body out of state, but two?"- Seaver answered, and my girlfriend nodded.

- "Let's check the facts. Paige was abducted months after having Jake in captivity, and he traveled with both, which means he's criminally sophisticated."- (Y/N) pointed out as I nodded

- "Yes, it seems more like an organized operation as opposed to an individual offender."- I added, as she continued speaking.

- "Then he's probably done this before."

- "You think there are more victims out there?"- Ashley asked and I shook my head.

- "Impossible to say until we figure out how those two were targeted."

García walked in and held (Y/N)'s arm. She seemed excited or nervous. Probably both.

- "She is here!"

- "Who?"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and looked outside to the bullpen.

- "SSA Andi Swan! She's the head of the Domestic Trafficking Task Force and I love her work, she is a genius!"

- "Why is she here? Do you think Hotch is interviewing her as Emily's replacement?"- (Y/N)'s words froze me. I never thought of anyone replacing Emily, and getting a new teammate didn't feel right just yet.

- "Apparently she is collaborating with the case. Anyway, I have to run open cases for the last two years without any parameters to narrow it down, so I'll leave you, kids, for a while"- Garcia waved and walked out of the conference room.

- "Considering they are traveling with their victims, we need agent Swan's help"- I sipped my coffee and (Y/N) turned to me, nodding.

- "Yeah, and we need all the help we can get to finish this case quickly."

- "How are the wedding plans by the way?"- Seaver asked out of the blue. The fact she was the only one on the team I didn't invite to the proposal wasn't really a shock to anyone, 'cos they all knew she and (Y/N) had a very rocky relationship until Prentiss' death, and I didn't want to push it. She congratulated us as soon as she heard the news, though. And so far, she has acted very nice about it.

- "Slow"- (Y/N) sighed, staring at a bunch of papers- "We have been trying to find a place for the reception, but we haven't had much time to visit any because we have been way too busy with cases."

- "Rossi said you could use his mansion"- Ashley suggested- "That's a nice venue"

- "Yeah, we know, but we don't want to take advantage of his generosity."- I say and smile- "Besides, we still got time"

- "Yeah, we are not in a hurry."- (Y/N) added the second Hotch walked in with agent Swan, and they started filling us in with everything the Domestic Traffic task force knew about the case.

The wedding plans had been stressful, but fun. It was something I never pictured myself doing, but it was fulfilling in a way. (Y/N) and I were working on our budget and our guesses list. I was glad we didn't know many people. She asked if I wanted to invite my dad, but I didn't want to, it didn't feel right. We still hadn't set a date, but we weren't in a rush. We just wanted everything to be perfect.

- "Here are the missing coeds since 2009."- García's voice took me from my thoughts as she walked into the office and left a considerable pile of files on the table.

- "Wow."- Seaver's reaction was funny, both (Y/N) and I smiled as we saw her shocked face.

- "Thank you sweety"- my girlfriend thanked our friend- "Let's look at the last-known locations on these files. Maybe there's an overlap, so we can start narrowing this down"

- "They're from all over the place."- Penelope whispered the bad news and (Y/N) frowned.

- "Fuck, ok so then let's think. These guys hunt in target-rich environments, right? Let's start looking for clubs, malls, that kind of thing."- (Y/N) turned to Seaver and the two of them started going through the files at once.

- "What are Morgan and Rossi finding?"- I asked García

- "Uh, a lot of mud on the car and the victims."

- "Mud? Did it rain here?"- I frowned confused. That didn't make much sense.

- "No, not here. South. Morgan has a theory that based on the gas mileage, they must have filled up within 70 miles of the accident."- García explained as I nodded

- "Gotcha. How many gas stations do you find?"

- "Forty-two".

- "How'd you narrow that down?"- I asked and she stared at me perplex

- "I didn't."

- "Why not?"

- "I didn't have any more parameters."

- "Never stopped you before."- she looked at me and sighed, turning around and heading back to her office, shouting "I'll be right back!" on her way out. I looked at (Y/N) and she sighed.

- "You are doing the dishes tonight"

- "What? Why?"

- "Thanks, Reid."- Seaver added and I just stared at them, confused.

But I didn't have to do the dishes, 'cos we weren't home for dinner. We were stuck with the case and with an SSA missing, probably taken by the group. Meanwhile, we were all still thinking about that morning's meeting and the future of our team. Was this our last case together? Who was going to leave? I just wanted to solve the case as fast as possible.

As the team left to catch the unsubs, (Y/N) and I were left in the BAU with García in her office, following the whole mission.

- "I schedule two visits for this weekend if we are in town"- (Y/N) announced suddenly- "The Art Club of Washington and The Red Fox inn Tavern."

- "Jesus! That place is amazing!"- Penelope nearly jumped from her chair as she heard (Y/N)'s words- "How into the planning are you?"

- "Not really too advanced"- my fiancée sighed- "We've got time to settle on the guest list and a budget. That's it."

- "Honey, that's more than you had two months ago."- I smiled at Pen's words and wrap an arm around (Y/N)'s shoulders as she kept staring at her hands on her lap.

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and she took a few seconds to answer. And when she did, she cuts me a short smile and nods.

- "I really hated Hotch's talk this morning"- she mumbles- "I don't want anything to change. I can't deal with change again."

- "Nothing will change between us, I can promise you that."- I replied and kissed her temple. She sighed and nodded, trying to smile at me. Somehow, I felt as if I was lying to her. I didn't want anything to change, but I couldn't promise that either.

And I had no idea that in less than four months, everything I knew would fall to pieces. 

You can read the whole trip to Hawaii story here

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[shatcey]

Alternative prologue IkeVamp

Picture

This is absolutely not canonical. MC is for sure. And I'm not entirely sure about some of the guys. Either I played their routes long time ago, or I don't really understand them. But I did my best.

At first, I start rewriting the entire prologue from the beginning. I don't like it for so many reasons… and finally find where to put this lovely thought of mine.

I turned around and saw a very unique looking man. Golden hair, golden eyes, golden clothes. I've never seen anything even remotely like this. It's like he's made entirely of gold… His name must be Mr. Gold!

But the more I did it, the more I realized that this is not what I wanna do. I had two small (were small at the beginning) scenes in my head, why should I write the rest?

So… here is my very odd version of the prologue after the introduction of the main characters. Everyone will be there except Jean. He didn't show up. What a shy boy!

It was supposed to be a joke. That's why I'm posting this on April 1st. I hope I'm not the only one who finds it funny. Enjoy.

Aproximatly 4500 words. Jeez how did it ended up that long?..

- So... Are you saying that you are all historical figures?

Comte smile one of his signature smile.

- That's correct.

- And how did you all end up in the same time period? I'm not a historian, but even I know that you are all from different times, even centuries?

- That's a really good question, Luv.

Arthur, sitting next to me, put his arm around my shoulders. I push his hand away.

- Mister, could you not touch me? I don't like strangers in my personal space.

The man blinked a couple of times, clearly pouting.

- But I'm not a stranger… I just introduced myself.

He smiles very charmingly, but that didn't change my opinion on the matter.

- That's right! We just met. So, you are a stranger to me.

Very naughty laugh from another side of the table.

- This Hondje is quite feisty.

I look at the smiling man and hold my gaze on him.

- I don't know what you call me, but something tells me that wasn't nice. So please refrain from that in the future.

Very gentle cough caught my attention.

- I have to apologize for my brother. He doesn't know how to behave with women.

I look at the angelic-looking man, and a smile somehow appears on my face.

- You don't have to apologize for him. He's not a child.

Vincent looked at Theo.

- Theo…

- No, no, no! You’ve got me wrong. I don't need he's apologies. I'd rather never talk to him.

-Ouch... that was harsh, Toshiko-san. You may have brought Theo-san to tears.…

The man sitting on the same side of the table as me... Dazai his name. I lean down to meet his gaze.

- Is this a local joke that I'm not aware of? Calling a new person by different names?

- I must apologize for my children. They are quite... unique…

I look at Comte and slowly observe all the people at the table.

- No offense, but how can they be your children if you all look the same age?

- That's another good question, Luv…

Arthur held out his hand to me, but stopped and took it away.

- Don't you like the food?

I thought my heart would definitely jump out of my chest. The voice came from right behind me. I turn around and meet Sebastian's gray eyes.

- Jeez... where did you come from?

- I've been standing behind you all this time... and you haven't even tried to eat...

- I’m… you are right…

I take a deep breath, calming my poor heart, and take a bite. Either I was very hungry, or it was the most delicious meal I've ever eaten.

A proud smile appears on the Conte's face

- Sebastian is the best cook. I still can't believe how lucky I was to get him.

- To get?

- He's just like you... human.

I was very unlucky that I took a bigger piece at that exact moment. But it instantly stuck in my throat. Don't try to think about it.… Just chew… I did as my brain said. I take a glass, presumably of water, and take a long sip before answering.

- That means... The rest of you are not human?

- Exactly.

I take another sip.

- Assuming it's possible… Who are you when?

- Vampires.

- Hmm.…

Ok. It's definitely not possible. I finally felt confident enough to look up, and realized that everyone was looking at me with a mixture of surprise and admiration.

- What?

- You're taking it better than we expected.

- Because it's an obvious lie.

- I assure you, it is not.

- Real vampires… I mean really existing vampires like bats or mosquitoes...they need a lot of blood. Like much more than their own weight.

- Really?

I bend down to meet a very surprised pink gaze. Isaac?

- You were so quiet, I even forgot you were here, cutie. But yes, it's true. Check on Google…

A very strange pause and suddenly...

- Did I hear her right? Did she just call Ai-san a cutie?

- Issak, you are blushing. Oh, she made old boy blush...

- Theo, what is Google?

- I don’t know. Most likely, something that we don't need.

- Who gave it its name? Goo goo... what is that?

- I guess you don't like the sound of it, Wolfie.

- Don't call me that! It's disgusting coming from you.

- So, in other words... you don't mind if someone else calls you that?

- Hahaha…

The last one was from Napoleon. I didn't hear him talking to anyone, but his laugh was something....

- I probably shouldn't have said that... - I mumble to myself.

Suddenly, the door opened and another man entered.

- I can't remember the last time we had such a lively dinner…

- Leonardo! -  Comte exclaims.

- Oh, we have a guest… Sorry for being late. Leonardo, Leonardo da Vinci.

- Aaaaaah. Another historical figure…

- …She didn't sound impressed...

- No offense, but I'm already meet a musician whose music increase brain activity.

- Wha?

- My favorite painter of all times.

- She just called…

- At least she has taste…

- And my childhood crush.

- What is “crush" mean? -  It was said in such a low voice that I couldn't make out who said it.

- Brief, but very strong, even obsessive love. Usually to a person who is out of reach.

- Thank you, Sebastian. That was very informative.

- Childhood? It could have been any of us. Well, probably not you, Dazai. No offense.

- He-he. Not taken. I would be very surprised if it was me.

- So... - I raise my voice - My point is... it's really hard to beat.

The man smiles and sits down next to Comte.

- She's very unusual…

- Actually, while my brain is still working... it's pretty noisy here… Before everything... started, I was trying to ask, who is donating blood to you?

- Oh, it's all legal. We have…

- No! I don't really care! I was asking, why is someone voluntarily giving you so much blood?

- But we don't need much.

- This is absurd!

- I like her more and more... Comte, why didn't you wake me up earlier?

- I was as mesmerised as you are right now…

- Stop it! Don't try to distract me!

- Am I really your favorite painter?

- What is the brain activity you were talking about?

- Who were your childhood crush? It's me, isn't it, Luv?

- Oh... I think I have a headache…

- Would it be better if we continued in my office?

- I don't know? Does this mean there will be less people?

- Absolutely!

The Comte gave me his usual encouraging smile, and I nodded.

(***)

Only Comte and Leonardo came with me to the office. At the very moment when we sit down at the table, Sebastian appears seemingly out of nowhere with a tray of tea.

- How does he do it?

- What are you talking about, ma chère?

- Don't mind me. This guy gets on my nerves.

- Just him? I thought all of us...

- All the others are just noisy, but this one is… creepy.

- Oh, poor Sebas, she really doesn't like you.

- I don't care what she thinks.

I'm glad to know that our dislike is mutual. A very noble cough attracts my attention.

- I know that all this information can be quite overwhelming.… Maybe you need some time…

- You said that I was stuck in this time for a month. What options do I have?

-  Cara mia...

- Don't use other languages. I think I'm very lucky to have learned one, and I'm pretty sure I'm not capable of more.

- You underestimate yourself.

- Maybe so. But just... don't do it!

- If you say so…

- Well, you can stay here with us, or I can rent you a house in the city. If it suits your tastes better.

- It's a little too much for a stranger. Maybe you have another house where there are less people?

- Don't you want to live with us? Why?

That voice was coming from outside the door. And it probably belonged to Vince.

- Perhaps they are children in secret?..

- I have my suspicions about this... - behind my back. I don't flinch this time. But it's still pretty scary when he does it…

- I have another house... but my eldest lives there…

- And who is this?

- William Shakespeare.

(pause)

- He probably writes all the time. He didn't even notice me there.…

- If you like writers... why don't you stay with me. I can please you much better than he can.

- What was the point of leaving the dining room at all?..

- Ahem... But you didn't say why you didn't want to stay with us, Cara...oh, sorry... old habits die hard.

- Well... unmarried women living with... how many of you are here... 9.. 10 men… It's really bad for my reputation. Not that it matters what people think of me at this time period, I will definitely leave this place in a month. But I still don't wanna feel hostile stares at me.

- There are 11 of us.

- What?

- You haven't met Jean yet.

- Whatever… And the second... which should probably be the first… You're vampires. So... Having a bag of warm, fresh blood nearby will be too tempting to ignore.

- Sebastian has been with us for a while, and no one has ever tried to bite him.

- No offense, Sebastian, but I don't want to bite you either.

- Do you have such desires often?

Pause…

- I don't want to answer that question.

- I understood your point. So... Let's go to William. I'll ask if he doesn't mind.…

(I cannot even read Old English, let alone write. So William will speak mostly normally)

We arrived at a very nice cottage a slightly outside the city. I was surprised to see a lot of flowers in the garden. Does he even have time to take care of them? I thought this guy couldn't think of anything but writing…

Comte knocked on the door, and a few moments later the door opened. We were met by a very strange man in obviously out of time clothes. His mismatched eyes widened in obvious surprise.

- Good Comte!

- Will, I apologize for the unannounced intrusion.

- Come in.

We entered the house, and I was immediately surprised to see how neatly it was decorated. So many details. Everything sparkles and shines like a jewelry shop, no less.

- Will… I know it's a little sudden.… But could this lady stay with you for a month?

The mismatched eyes look at me as if I'm not even a person, but an object. Maybe it was a bad idea to leave the mansion after all.

- If this is that my sire wants.... I will gladly grant his wish.

- Thank you very much. I feel responsible for her well-being.

- It's not your fault, you know…

- Maybe so. But you ended up in this situation because I wasn't careful enough.

- Could you please explain to me what you are talking about.

- Oh, yes. This young lady is from the future. She noticed the door and went through it to this time.

- I thought it was impossible...

- Yes... me too… So... she will stay in this time for a month until the door opens next time.

- I see.

- Don't worry. We'll just be roommates.

- I believe he has a separate room for you…

- That's not what I meant. I mean people who live together but don't interact at all. We probably wouldn't even see each other.

- Why is that?

- I don't like to stay indoors. Taking pictures, wandering around, making small talk with random strangers… It's kind of my thing. But I also like to read books. I'm sure you have at least some…

- Hmm.…

- Wonderful. At least you don't have a headache here.

I smile radiantly and begin to look around.

- Is there anything here that I'm not allowed to touch? I don't wanna invade your privacy, so tell me in advance.

- Hmm…

- Yes, she is quite overwhelming… You get used to it.

(Some time later)

- Don't touch it!

- Why? You didn't mention it when I asked.

- Woman! What's gotten into you? Why do you need to touch everything you see?

- I don't know… I'm curious… And I didn't touch you, so not everything.

- I can't believe he just dumped you on my head!

- For a person who works with creative people, you are quite short-tempered.

- I've never met such an irritating person in my life...

- No one has ever told me that... I think we're just incompatible.

- Obviously. You said you don't like being indoors.

- I am. But I don't know this place yet and I don't wanna get lost.

- What a wonderful idea…

- What did you say?

- Nothing. Come on. I'll show you around. And you need a dress.

- Why? What's wrong with my dress?

- First of all... it's shamingly short.

- I don't think so!

- In 19th century it's too short.

- Oh... right… I forgot.

After the incredibly awkward process of buying a dress. Why do they need so many people to take measurements? I finally got outside. I need to keep reminding myself... Don't even try to breathe, it's an unattainable desire. This is not a dress, but an instrument of torture.

- Maybe I should stay indoors... - I muttering to myself

- What now?

- I cannot breathe in this...

- You'll get used to it.

- I don't want to get used to it!

Some people turn around to look at me disapprovingly. I probably don't have the right to show emotions either... Wonderful!

- So... This is the main street with lots of shops. If you turn right, you will find yourself in front of my house after a while.

- That's right… We came here this way…

- So that's it... enjoy.

- Hey! Are you seriously going to leave me here alone?

- You said…

- Right, right, I said… Sorry... See you at home…

He takes a long exasperated sigh and instantly disappears into the crowd.

- But the problem is… I don't speak French...

I take a long exhale…

- Okay. I'll figure something out...

I move with the crowd in one direction, then in another… And somehow ended up in an alley with very beautiful trees. I look around. Nobody. This is my only chance. I take out my phone and take a couple of pictures. Perfect. Well, at least I'd have something to prove that I'm not crazy. But... It's just trees, I need something more.… Oh, such a lovely church…

(This part already seems like the beginning of the route. I just cannot imagine NOT falling for him. I'm doomed)

I opened a very heavy door and entered a dimly lit church. It's empty… Interesting… I look around, enjoying the way the stained glass window casts multicolored light into the room... I walk slowly down the hall, finally find the right angle and take a shot. The echo of footsteps makes me turn around, and I hurriedly hide the phone.

Two men approached from the other side of the church. One of them had very odd white hair. Not gray, but white. I've never seen anything like that. And the other was in the priest's clothes. Right… I'm in the church, not museum. They said something, probably to me, but I didn't understand. I smiled shyly and decided to leave. I clearly shouldn't be here. But the moment I touched the handle, the door opened and the young man almost bumped into me.

- Pardon... - he said and, without slowing down, ran inside the church.

He said something swiftly in French. I didn't understand a word, but something caught my attention and I looked around. My eyes met the priest's and my heart skiped a bit. How did I not notice this before? He's gorgeous… Tall and undoubtedly muscular frame, fluffy dark hair, sharp gaze… I cannot even look away.

- Hello… Do you perhaps speak English?

I look in the direction of the voice. It was a man with white hair.

- Actually, I do.

- What brings you here? - A deep vibrating voice, and my brain just stopped working.

- Huh? -  I stare at the priest, dumbfounded.

- You look so cute.… Can we play? - The guy with pink hair who had just arrived suddenly came close to me and whispered in my ear.

- Could you not invade someone else's personal space…

- What are you talking about? – A completely innocent look of confusion on his face.

- I'm talking about my personal space. And I don't like strangers in it.

- Right, we didn't introduced.

- She came to us. She has to introduce herself first.

- Huh? – And again... What is this man doing to me?

The absolutely sincere laughter sounded especially loud in the empty church.

- I didn't expect that... - The white-haired guy. Up close, I noticed that his eyes were red. Is he sick or something?

- Why are you looking at me? She probably has hearing problems…

- Right… I wouldn't expect anything less from you…

- I'm Charles. Nice to meet you! – Guy with pink hair smiled brightly.

- I'm Vlad. And this grumpy priest is Faust.

- An unusual name.

- It's not a name. But he prefers to be called that.

- I see. I'm Jane.

- Really?

I look at Vlad and feel uncomfortable for no reason.

- I have a pretty ordinary name…

- I think it's beautiful. Just like you! - Charles ones again has come too close to me, and I look at him disapprovingly.

- I just told you…

- It's pointless. He only hears what he wants to hear. -  I look at Faust and somehow manage to nod. Oh, progress! I'm not as hopeless as I feared.

- So, what brings you here? – This time the question was from Vlad, and I managed to answer.

- I think… I got lost... - I allowed myself an ironic laugh.

- It doesn't seem to bother you in the slightest...

- Oh......It's been a very long and eventful day, and I just cannot bring myself to feel something anymore... I guess...

- I've never heard of this.... Docteur you?

- No. But somehow I understand what she meant...

- Lovely... -  Vlad smiles and happily claps his hands.

- If she got lost… Maybe we could take her home?

- I'm not a stray kitten!

- Huh? I think you're cuter than a kitten.…

- ...I have a headache again…

- Really? I can look for a medicine for you…

- No... that's not what she meant...

- Charles, we cannot keep her, but we definitely have to feed her.

- Once again, I'm not a stray kitten!

- Welcome to my world…

I look at him, and for the first time, something like real emotion shows in his eyes. Oh... whey are green... Pretty...

There was a mountain path behind the church. I was sure I was going to die before we got up that damn mountain. It seems that this ascent will never end. But I was the only one who was out of breath. Right. They probably do this all the time…

As soon as we got to the top, Charles said something about food and disappeared. My head was spinning and my lungs were on fire, I fell to the ground, unable to stand any longer.

- You have so little stamina...

"Really? You noticed?" - I wanted to say ironically. But at the moment the top of my abilities were probably not as scary as I hoped gaze. He smirked and disappeared into the... What is it? A Castle? I just noticed...

- You shouldn't be sitting on the ground. You'll catch a cold…

After several attempts, I finally managed to stand on shaky legs. Vlad holds my hand. My breathing still resembles asthmatic in the worst possible stages. I need to practice. Walking is not enough exercise!

- Come on… I'll show you the garden. Charles needs some time to prepare the food.

He pulls at my hand, but I stop in my tracks.

-Really?

- Excuse me?

- Why all people at this time period... are so desperately trying to feed me? Do I look that hungry?

The man's eyes seem to open a little wider than usual.

- This time period?

- Don't mind me… The garden, you say.

We bend the castle, and behind it opens the most beautiful garden I have ever seen. I thought William's garden was cute, but this…

- So beautiful…

- I'm glad you like it. This is my garden…

- You mean... You planted, tended and... everything else?

- Yes.

- But it's huge! It's like... a mile long. And there are a lot of flowers… How can one person do this?

- I have all the time in the world…

Ring the bell!

- Don't tell me…

- Do you have a question?

- I have, but... what the hell, I have nothing to lose! I mean, even if I don't ask, you'll probably kill me.

His eyes widened ones again.

- Are you a vampire?

He blinks. The pause seemed to take forever.

- And what exactly gave you that idea?

I turn at the sound of oh so much familiar voice and meet with green eyes. He seemed to be much closer than I expected… How did he manage to sneak up on me unnoticed? And somehow that thought allowed me to finally talk to him.

- I don't know.… The same vibe…

- Vibe…

I take a deep breath. Don't tell me they don't have that word as well.

- I don't know... he just seems different.

- How so? People don't even suspect me.

- Well... if you don't expect something different, you won't notice a thing.

- And you expect it... So you knew…

I look at Faust questioningly.

- Charles said there was a girl in the mansion…

Wonderful. So, I got the confirmation I was asked for.

- Why do vampires find me? Does my blood smell good or something?

- You found us. So you tell. Do we smell nice?

Faust! What the hell are you doing? How can you ask this so bluntly? And my voice, which has just returned to me, disappears again.

The charming laugh attracts my attention... Vlad seems to be enjoying my suffering. Suddenly Charles jumps out into the garden and points an accusing finger at Faust.

- How could you make her fall for you in my absence? It's so sneaky of you...

- I'm not in love with him!

- Really? It's very hard to believe…

I'm looking at Vlad seriously.

- It's called crush. And I'll get over it in no time, as soon as I realize that he has nothing but good looks.

- You sound so sure…

- I have experience.

Yes. Experience. The first was a scientist who died before I was even born. Then a couple of actors. And finally, my college teammate. The last one was the worst. He knew and only exploited my feelings. I hate him. I hate him so much! But that's all in the past. And now... the priest. At least my addiction to unreachable guys hasn't changed…

- Did I miss something?

- You obviously did. But let's go inside. The food is waiting…

Carefully avoiding looking at Faust, I follow Vlad and Charles, who is bouncing at every step.

(***)

After an extremely delicious dinner, I finally felt relaxed. So... What should I do? I looked around and chose a victim.

- So… I have a question…

- Of course. What would you like to know?

- Do you dye your hair?

- W-w-what?

- I have never seen such a shade of hair.… You probably killed them when you did it.… Can I touch it?

- No... no! Stop it!

I begin to pursue Vlad, who is dissatisfied with my desire to touch his hair. Have know idea why.

- Voïvode? Do you need a help?

We ran around the table a couple of times before he finally realized that he was taller than me and his hair was completely safe. I got tired of running and fell down on the couch. What's next? I look at Charles.

- You can do whatever you want with me.

- No.

- Aww. Why?

- I don't know. Probably because you agree so easily.…

Charles looked at Faust very sadly.

- What? She completely ignores me. 

- Lucky you!

- Vlad! What's there?

I pointed to a door that didn't seem to have been used for a long time…

- I don't know…

- Good! Let's explore…

I jump up and try to open the door, but it won't budge.

- Owww.… It's closed. Vlad!!!

- Where does she get so much energy from?

- Maybe she's 5 years old?

Oh… good idea! Thanks Faust.

(Several days later)

- Oh, candy!

- No! You cannot give her sweets! – Vlad is almost crying.

- Sorry... sorry... She was smiling so radiantly that I forgot.

I think it's time to slow down a bit. I'm desperately trying to keep a smile from spreading. I feel someone's gaze on me and meet Faust's eyes first time for a very long time. Damn, he noticed. I raise an eyebrow questioningly. But he just smirked and didn't say a word. Didn't expect that...

I'm going back to my room in the castle. I have no idea why they still want me to stay with them. I'm constantly harassing both of them. I'm too clingy and overly emotional with Vlad and, on the contrary, very cold and distant with Charles. They're really weird.

William must be overjoyed because I got lost. I haven't heard from him since the first and the last day we saw each other. It's probably for the best. Charles regularly tells me about what's going on in the mansion. I don't know who is providing him with information, and I don't really care. According to him, all the residents are very worried about me. I have no idea why. I was pretty rude to them. Vampires are certainly strange creatures…

But my biggest problem is… Faust. I lie down on the bed and cover my face with a pillow to muffle the scream.

- How can he be so damn perfect?!?

This crush has a very high probability of developing into true love.

I'm doomed.

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🔝 Start page 🔝

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[wonderlandleighleigh]

A mild addition to 5x06. Warning for dirty jokes underneath

"Hello. I'm Lenny Bruce, and I am an addict," he looks around as everyone laughs. "...sorry, it's not that kind of shindig, is it?" He asks, getting some shouts. "Most of you know me. But I must admit…I don't know who the fuck any of you are, save for the very successful bridge troll we all showed up to honor."

That gets a laugh out of Susie as well as the rest of the room, and Lenny smiles at her. 

"Oh, Susie. We have seen some things, haven't we? And we have a lot in common aside from being the same height."

Lenny looks down at her and everyone laughs at that, too. 

"Yes, we both have had our hearts broken by the same well-dressed, fabulously decelotaged brunette, comedienne," Lenny says. "We won't say her name, I promise. But let's just…have a moment of silence to remember just how good those breasts are." 

Susie shakes her head, trying not to laugh again as the rest of the room cracks up, while Lenny stays silent for a good twenty seconds. 

"Now!" Lenny snaps his fingers. "The real reason I am here is to tell you about the time Susie Myerson punched a drug dealer in the nuts, stole his product and got him put in jail, and then got me a job all in the same night." 

*****

Susie can't tear her eyes away from Midge's face on the video screen the whole time, but when it ends, she looks down the dais and finds Lenny with a soft, sad smile on his face, as if seeing something he can never truly have, but is glad to have gotten a glimpse of anyways. 

Susie knows the fucking feeling. 

*****

When she decides to walk home, he falls into step with her, as if it's still 1958, and they're headed to the City Spoon to meet Midge or some shit. 

"Thanks for showin' up," she says quietly. "You're the only one who was there that I actually gave a shit about. Except maybe Mike."

Lenny shrugs and grins. "It was fun. And I owed you." 

She nods as she lights a cigarette. "You heard from her?"

"I got a phone call last week," he admits. "First time in fifteen years. She asked me if my dick was still as big as she remembered. I said 'probably,' and she said 'good to know,' and hung up."

Susie snorts. "If she comes back around, you gonna let her eat you alive again?"

"Completely," Lenny nods. 

Susie huffs and shakes her head. "Yeah."