#is anyone even doin anythin with them

[metukika]

girl psycho gimme the the the

[tightjeansjavi]

common tongue of your loving me

A/N: so, I first just wanted to say that I am not responsible for the content that you choose to engage with. This is a very dark fic with triggering themes that may be disturbing for some readers. This is dead dove do not eat. Please heed the warnings with caution. I understand that this won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but for my first truly dark fic, I feel pretty good about it. It’s taken months of personal healing for me to become comfortable with writing/engaging with these kinds of fics. That being said, it is important to remember that SA survivors often use dark fic to cope from their own traumatic experiences, but also, dark fics can be enjoyed by anyone and no explanation for enjoying them is needed! Reading and writing dark fic does not mean that you condone this type of behavior. Please be kind.

~word count: 9.1k~

Summary: Joel finds you wandering through his territory and decides that he’ll take you in to be his little lamb. You don’t go with him so willingly.

pairing | raider!Joel x f!reader

Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT!!!

Dubcon/noncon, the lines are blurred regarding to what the reader consents too, Joel is sick in the head, coercion, manipulation from both Joel and the reader, Stockholm syndrome vibes, he can kill easily you if he wanted to but he won’t, dom/sub, dark! Joel, feral! Joel, raider! Joel, rough unprotected sex, possession, degradation, age gap: Joel is 40 the reader is early 30’s, power imbalance, fear tactics, mind games, praise kink, pet names: little lamb and sir, rough unprotected piv, choking/breath play, knife kink, blood kink, voyeurism, hand job, mutual masturbation, cock warming, oral (male and female receiving) cum play, mutilation of a body part (not done to the reader) misogyny from Joel’s men, implied rape as threat/coercion, Joel is not a morally good person, touch deprivation, humiliation, graphic depictions of violence, submission on the means of survival, foul language, +18 minors dni!

main masterlist masterlist

The Cordyceps Outbreak changed you in a plethora of ways. Survivor turned cold-blooded murderer; not of your own doing. Desperate times call for desperate measures after all. Your saving grace happened to be a man. Brooding in strength, a quick tongue, and an even quicker aim. Calculated movements built up over years of tireless days and nights enduring whatever hell-scape the world had to offer. Grit, stubbornness, chapped lips, aliquine nose, paired with a wicked grin.

“Y’lost?” Gruff, gravelly, never ending pit of deepness. Joel Miller was crouched down between what you believed was an inconspicuous hiding space. You caught wind days out that a group of raiders had been silently stalking you. You were alone, with a limited supply of weapons in your reach.

“No.” Your voice trembled as you clutched your precious pocket knife to your chest.

“That so? What’re you doin’ hidin’ back there?” His head cocked curiously as his boot scraped along the tattered floor of the long since abandoned gas station.

“None of your goddamn business.” You hissed, teeth gritted as your eyes squeezed shut.

“Cute.” He mused. “Take it that you’re alone then? Y’got anythin’ on ya?”

“Are you going to kill me, or not? Cause if so, just get on with us for both our sakes.” You nearly pleaded.

He tsked, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “Ain’t gonna do that. Woulda dragged you outta there myself if that was the case. Besides, I enjoy it more when they run.” He spoke so casually you could feel your blood quickly turn to ice from his tone alone.

“What the hell do you want then? I have nothing to offer. Just some measly scraps, and a dull pocket knife.”

I’m gonna die. That’s it. It’s all over. All that fighting for fucking nothing.

“Ain’t that a shame.” You could feel the smirk rise on his face as bile tried to force its way up your throat. “You’re in luck, my dear. Feelin’ a bit generous. Been lookin’ for a pet. Someone to keep my bed warm at night. Clean my gun. Be at my side. The offer stands, but expires in approximately..” He looked around as if there was a working clock in sight, “one minute.”

“Wait, wait! Are you saying you want me to be your slave?! Fuck no! I’d–”

“Temper, I see. My slave? Not at all, darlin.’ You’ve got it all wrong. Ain’t gonna force ya, although, you were the one to stupidly go waltzing into raider territory. More specifically, my territory. So, you either swallow that fuckin’ tongue of yours and accept your fate, or i’ll let my men have their way with ya. N’trust me, doll. They’ll tear you apart the second they get their hands on you.”

“You sick fuck! I’m not going anywhere with you!” You pushed your body further between the two aisle shelves that had collapsed over.

“Ten.”

“You’re insane!”

“Nine.”

“Eight.” He droned with mock enthusiasm.

“C’mon, you ain’t got anywhere else to go. I won’t touch you unless you want me to. Don’t make this fuckin’ harder for yourself than it needs to be. My patience is runnin’ thin, and the clock is tickin’ away, little lamb.”

“I am not your little lamb, you fuckin’ monster!”

His eyes rolled in pure annoyance as you listened intently to the unmistakable clicking sound of his gun cocking.

“Seven.”

“Six.”

What other choice did you really have? Allow yourself to be violated, and god knows what else by this man’s men, or accept your fate and become his ‘pet.’ Just the thought alone sent a wave of nausea knocking through your system.

“Wait, wait! Please!” You nearly begged as you pulled yourself free from your hiding spot. You dropped your pocket knife to the floor with a clink as you held your hands above your head.

His smirk was nothing short of menacing as he took immediate notice to the terrified glassy look in your eyes.

“Don’t be frightened, little lamb.” He crooned

“You’re safe, and no harm will be done to you. However, my men will be deeply disappointed to hear that I have decided to take you as my own.”

God, this man was sick, but there was no turning back now. No escape route. No plan. No hope. Maybe he was just bluffing. Maybe his plan was to kill you when you’d least expect it. Maybe this was all just a game of cat and mouse for him; you being the helpless little mouse.

“You swear that you’re not going to touch me?” You eyed his outstretched hand warily.

“My darlin’ little lamb, you have my word. Although, I will have to pat you down. Y’know, to make sure you ain’t have anythin’ on ya. Oh, and don’t think I'm playin’ stupid either. Cus’ if you try’n kill me? I’ll make you wish that you had never been born. You have no idea what I am capable of, and my token of kindness only can stretch so far. Jus’ be good, and I won’t have to send a pretty thing like you six feet under. Got it?” His tone was sharp and straight to the point as his brow raised in your direction. You couldn’t even begin to fathom what this man was capable of.

You reluctantly took his hand as he hoisted you up from the grime infested floor. Not a second later did he have your back pinned securely against his broad chest as he held the sharp tip of your knife expertly against your jugular. All he would have to do was apply a tad bit of pressure in order to make a fatal incision. You could feel his lips ghosting against the shell of your ear. His voice dropped an octave as he whispered, “Oh, and if you even think about tryn’ to run from me? I will hunt you down. Do I make myself crystal fuckin’ clear, little lamb?”

You struggled considerably in his constricting grip. A hiss slipped past your lips when the tip of the blade pricked your skin, blood beaded along the surface before slowly trickling down the column of your throat. “Fuck you, asshole.” You nearly whimpered when the blunt ends of his fingernails dug fiercely into your hips. He was unmoving like a mountain, or a slab of concrete. (whichever you prefer)

“That ain’t my name, little lamb.” He tuts before dipping his head down along the clavicle of your neck. His curls gently tickle your chin before you feel his hot tongue poke out and lick up the droplets of blood from your skin. You involuntarily inhaled a harsh breath as his lips harshly sucked on the entry wound. You heard a tiny grunt rumble up his chest before he uttered, tone thick and raspy, “It’s Joel.”

Joel fucking Miller.

His teeth nipped and scraped at your torn skin as his grip around you tightened. “Silly, silly, little lamb. You’ve gone and nicked yourself. Be good, and I’ll let you breathe.”

“Please, please let go of me, Joel. Please. You’re hurting me.” Your voice came out strained as you ultimately gave up on struggling in his steel-like grasp.

“There ya go. That’s a good little lamb.” He cooed as he loosened his grip around you. He had forgotten all about needing to pat you down as he slowly lowered your knife from its present position on your neck. He tucked it away in his own backpack for safe keeping. You were dumb to think that he’d let you have it back.

“Now that we’ve gotten the painfully hard stuff outta the way, y’can relax. So stiff.” He tsked as he nudged you forward. “You’ll be pleased to hear that I’m not a complete barbarian. Got a cabin with workin’ plumbing! Imagine that.” He chuckled amusedly.

You were far from amused as you crossed your arms over your chest protectively as he nudged you forward. Your feet worked on autopilot as his domineering presence was close behind you. “That’s nice, Joel. I could frankly fucking care less where you live.” You snapped in a sharp quick tone.

“Oh? Well, perhaps you’d rather fuckin’ sleep outside, chained to a tree like a goddamn dog.” he snapped back, quicker than you had expected.

“Yeah?” You scoffed. “Well, maybe I would much rather be chained to a fucking tree than breathe the same disgusting air as you.” So much for not pushing this man's buttons.

He laughed, and you could feel his hot breath tickling the hair along the back of your neck.

“As tempting as that sounds, how am I supposed to protect you if you’re chained to a tree?” He was smirking rather sadistically. You couldn’t see his face, but you just knew he was grinning through his teeth. “Besides, wouldn’t you much rather sleep in a warm, cozy bed, little lamb? I bet it’s been awhile since you’ve experienced that kinda comfort, hmm?” He knew he was toying with you and it was becoming increasingly difficult to not stand your ground.

“I don’t need your protection. I don’t want anything to do with it, and for the love of God, would you stop fucking calling me little lamb?”

“Y’know, the more you fight this, the worse it’s going to be. You oughta be thankin’ me. Y’know why? I could fuckin’ take you right here, right now. I can shove you to the ground and have my way with you, little lamb. You can scream and cry all you want, but there’s not a goddamn thing you could do to stop me. You’re defenseless, and apparently missing quite a few marbles in that brain of yours. I suggest you shut the fuck up, and keep movin.’” In the midst of your quarrel, he had silently removed his gun from the holster around his hips, and you could feel the cool metal of the barrel pressing into the back of your neck.

You froze purely out of fear as your mouth went dry. No words fell from your once confident tongue as he nudged you forward once more.

“Yeah, that’s what I fuckin’ thought.” He hissed.

You were in fact shocked to see that Joel and his men didn’t live in filth and grime like you expected. Even moreso, it didn’t appear that they had stowed away any prisoners in their camp. This newfound knowledge was both comforting, and unsettling. Joel’s cabin was the furthest from the rest of the group. Tucked away in a grouping of evergreens. If you hadn’t known any better, you’d think he was just some lone survivor too. You surveyed the surrounding area silently as he unlocked the front door. You could run..but how far would you manage to get? He’d hunt you down no doubt. Your body was already running off pure adrenaline. It had been weeks since you had a proper meal.

“Home sweet home.” He chimed as he gave you a rough jolt forward. Your legs nearly buckled from the surprised movement as you stumbled inside. The heavy wooden door swung shut as he locked it behind him.

“I imagine you must be starvin’ huh?”

“Nope.”

He rolled his eyes as he slung his backpack along one of the hooks on the wall. “Uh-huh. You ain’t all that of a liar, little lamb. Look, if I were in your situation, i’d suck it the fuck up and be grateful for my generous hospitality. Y’wanna starve? Be my fuckin’ guest, but don’t say I didn’t try to feed ya.” He huffed as he strode past you, shoulder brushing yours roughly as he disappeared into the kitchen.

You stood there dumbly in the middle of the entryway as you subconsciously scratched at your arm. “Hey..uh, Joel?” You sounded timid and unsure of yourself but given the present circumstances, that was to be expected.

His head peeked around the corner as he made eye contact with you. “Yes, little lamb?”

Can he fucking quit it with that nickname already?

“So, I was wondering if it was possible for me to uh–shower? I’ve been traveling for weeks and I just figured you probably wouldn’t want me stinking up your bed? Just want to make sure I'm being a good pet for you.” You nearly gagged from your compliant words, but if you played your cards right, maybe you’d make it out of this alive.

His slow growing smirk was a tell-tale sign that he was buying your faux submission. Ruthless or not, he was still a man at the end of the day.

“Sure. S’not a problem at all. Y’need help findin’ your way? Jus’ down the hall n’to the left. I’ll leave some clothes out for ya as well. Think you’ve worn those things to ruin.” He casually gestured to your tattered clothing.

“Yeah, well..beggars can’t be choosers now can they?”

“No, they can’t.” He agreed.

You stared at one another a moment longer before you padded off down the hall. You could feel his eyes burning into the back of your head until you turned the corner. You paused momentarily to listen for his footsteps. Only when you were convinced he didn’t follow you, did you finally release a shaky breath. Just be good, and you’ll get out of this one way or another.

Joel’s bathroom was insipid in decor, but that came as to no surprise. It’s not like he had any reason to embellish the space with flowers or any other domestic shit. At least the towels looked fairly clean, and the shower head looked durable. You could have shed tears of joy when you turned the faucet handle and a steady stream flowed through the shower head. The water had a slightly oxidized odor from the well, but it wasn’t ice cold; more like room temperature. You wasted no time to shred your thin layers of clothing and discard them to the cool tile beneath your feet. Your nipples pebbled and grew taught under the cooling stream of water along your skin. You feel the filth and grime slowly wash away and stain the water a murky brown color from the debris. You were pleasantly surprised to find a bar of soap and a bottle of shampoo that was undoubtedly expired, but it would suffice.

The towel you wrapped around your body was a bit coarse and itchy from being utilized so many times. You kept your hand firmly wrapped around the front of the towel to prevent it from slipping down your still damp body. As you reached for the door handle you found shortly after that there was something blocking your ability to open it all the way. You took a deep breath as you prepared yourself for the inevitable..clothes? There just outside of the door, folded nicely in a pile, was a shirt and pants waiting for you.

Joel was busy putzing around the kitchen as he prepared a well-deserved meal for the two of you. He was already convinced that you were warming up to him (finally). Or, perhaps you were just too exhausted to put up a solid fight. Either way, he was going to continue to use his generous hospitality to his advantage. Match point.

“Well, don’t you clean up nice.” He mused from where he was standing as you appeared from down the hall.

“Shower was pretty decent.” You mumbled in response.

“Go on and make yourself at home.” He gestured to the small kitchen table with two handcrafted wooden chairs. “Dinner will be ready in just a few minutes.”

“I already told you, I'm not hungry.”

“Still playin’ the stubborn game, are we? What happened to the whole ‘I want to be a good pet for you, Joel?’” he dropped the kitchen knife he was presently holding onto the countertop as he made air quotes with his fingers.

“Why the hell would you think for a second that I'm going to trust you all of a sudden? I don’t want shit to do with your food.”

“Mmm. I see. S’you jus’ thought oh, i’ll just use his shower and shit will be all peachy keen? Sit your fuckin’ ass down at that table right now.” He wasn’t asking, he was demanding.

“Oh, gee. You’re too kind! Giving me somewhere to finally rest my fucking feet.” You muttered sarcastically under your breath as you plopped down onto the chair finally.

Seconds later a plate was placed down in front of you. The smell was absolutely mouthwatering. Seared venison, potatoes, gravy and bread. This was a real hearty meal that you could only dream of having. It reminded you of Sunday dinner’s back at your parents when you were struggling to pay your rent off every month. You’d have leftovers for days thanks to them.

You suspiciously eyed your captor as he took the seat across from you and began to indulge in the meal he had prepared. You remained skeptical as your arms crossed over your chest defiantly.

“It ain’t poisoned if that’s what you’re thinkin.’ Why the hell would I be eating poisoned food? Besides, how are you supposed to keep my bed warm if you’re fuckin’ dead, little lamb?” He grumbled as he pointed his fork in your direction.

“I don’t know. Maybe a sick fuck like you is into that sorta thing. You don’t actually expect me to believe that you have a moral compass, do you?”

“Oh, you’re right on the head with that one. Just below your feet I have bodies stashed for safekeeping. Oh, and some are buried out back in the woods. You’ll find bones scattered about the property.” he stated nonchalantly as he leaned over the table with his eyes locked on yours. “Y’know what I love most? I love it when they scream and beg for their pathetic little lives to be spared. They all try to escape, but they never get very far. I give them all a fair head start jus’ to give them that false hope that they’re going to make it out of this alive.” He stabbed a piece of venison with his fork before popping it into his mouth.

Your blood curdled like rotten milk as you went to push your chair back. You were startled from the sound of his knife being embedded into the wood with a harsh thud. “Don’t you even fuckin’ think about it.” He hissed.

“Are you fucking serious?! You have dead bodies under the fucking floorboards?! So, this was your plan all along?! Make me play house with you till you get bored and decide to butcher me?!”

“No.” he deadpanned. “I was not bein’ serious. But, since you think i’m some sick fuckin’ monster that stashes women away to murder them, I decided to play into your little scenario. Now, fuckin’ eat your goddamn food. Or by God I will fucking pin you down and shove it down your throat.”

You truly could not tell if he was bluffing or not, but by the darkened appearance of his pupils, your brain was literally screaming at you to just pick the fucking fork up and eat. So, that’s exactly what you did. Fuck, this was the best thing you tasted in a long time.

When the sun began to set and cast a soft orange glow through the cabin windows, your nerves were on high alert when you faced the realization that you’d have to sleep in the same bed as this man. Your plate was nearly licked clean as he removed it from in front of you. He could sense your unease from a mile away. It was as if he could smell the fear leaking from your pores.

“Go on and get some rest, little lamb. I’ll be there in a few. Oh, and by the way, I prefer to sleep naked. I hope that doesn’t pose a problem for you.” He shot a flirty wink in your direction before you were immediately pushing your chair back.

Fucking peachy.

It wasn’t difficult to find his bedroom as it was the only other room in the mid size cabin. You would have much rather have slept on the uncomfortable hardwood floor than to share a bed with him. However, based on how he acted at the dinner table..you really didn’t want to stretch your luck, if you’d even call it that, any further.

The semi-comfortable mattress brought instant relief to your aching back and shoulders. A comfort short lived as you listened attentively to the faint footsteps approaching the door. Joel was surprisingly quiet as he slipped into the room like a shadow in the night. He barely acknowledged your presence as he shuffled to the unoccupied side of the bed. The mattress creaked beneath his weight as he sank down along it.

You laid there unmoving, quiet like a mouse as your eyes squeezed shut from the familiar shrill sound of the metal clasp of his belt clinking. His jeans hit the floor with a soft thud as a silent tear slowly rolled down your cheek. He yanked his shirt over his head in one swift movement before he kicked his boxers down his ankles. You heard him let out a faint sigh as he scrubbed his hand down his patchy beard. You waited for the moment that he would pounce..but it never came as he slowly swung his legs onto the mattress with a soft grunt as he settled back into the pillows. His cock hung heavy between his thighs as he shifted positions ever so slightly. “G’night, little lamb. Sleep tight.” He crooned softly.

Wait..that’s it? No no. What the hell was going on? Didn’t he say he would–

“Goodnight, Joel.” You whispered as you rolled over so your back was facing him. You were on the very edge of the mattress, as far away as you possibly could be from him.

Joel was more than willing to play the long game with you. He was in no rush, and toying with your already fragile mind was part of the fun. He did swear that he wouldn’t touch you without your consent, but he never said anything about not touching himself. He was, after all, a lonely man in some capacity. Perhaps that’s why he had no shame to slowly wrap his fist around the base of his cock while you were laying just a few feet away. He trapped his lower lip between his teeth as he dragged his thumb across the ruddy head, collecting a bead of precum that had weeped from the narrow slit. He twisted his hand slowly as a grunt bubbled up his throat. He pulled his hand back only to filthily spit on it in order to create some lubrication. His head tilted back against the pillows as his mind ran rampant through his filthy desires. “Fuck, that’s it little, lamb.” He hissed between his teeth, digging his heels into the mattress as his cock grew hard and swollen in his grasp.

You could vaguely hear the rustling of the sheets through your light slumber. You thought maybe you were experiencing some vivid dream when you detected Joel’s soft grunt and the unmistakable sound of him spitting into his hand. It felt like your body was betraying you and riding off into the deep end as your thighs subconsciously clenched together. His sounds of gratification only seemed to spur your now awake body to relieve itself in some capacity as your hand slowly snaked down between your thighs. It had been longer than you could remember since you last shared a bed with someone. Perhaps this was all based purely on animalistic instincts as your fingers dipped beneath your panties. Your clit was throbbing for attention as your fingertips skated across it. You bit down on the inside of your cheek hard to suppress a whimper from slipping out, but it was audible enough for Joel to hear it. Once you started, there was no going back as your fingers worked your clit in slow circular motions.

Joel was shocked to say the least. So much so, that his hand had stilled around his cock as he listened to your pathetic little whimpers that you were desperately trying to suppress. You being so unpredictable to him was an absolute turn on. He couldn’t believe that his dirty little lamb was shamelessly playing with herself. Maybe you and him weren’t so different after all. His cock twitched against his stomach as he imagined just how tight your little pussy would hug him, and that’s all it took for him to shred his remaining morale. “What’re you doin’ over there, little lamb?” He whispered through the pale moonlight that casted shadows across the bed frame.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

You scrambled to remove your hand from between your thighs as a sense of embarrassment and dread washed over you. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks from the excitement and adrenaline rush of being caught.

“Don’t stop on my account, dirty little lamb. You sounded so desperate to come. Why deprive yourself of that pleasure?” He hummed through his teeth as he gave the base of his cock a firm relieving squeeze. “Or are you seekin’ some assistance? I’d be happy to help..can’t leave your pussy hanging on the edge for that long, little lamb. She deserves better treatment than that.” He tsked disapprovingly.

it was as if a lightbulb had suddenly flashed in your brain. Yes, use this to your advantage. This is what he wants, right? Give it to him. Make him think that you’re submissive. Fuck him stupid and leave when he’s sleeping. Play his game better than he is.

“It hurts.” You pouted as tears of frustration began to slowly drip down the corners of your eyes. You did have to sell the part after all.

“Oh, baby. Don’t cry. I know it hurts..bet it’s been so long since your cunt has been properly taken care of, hmm? When’s the last time she’s been stretched out by a cock?” He asked softly as you felt the mattress dip down from him slowly roll over onto his elbow so he was facing you.

“It’s been too long, sir. I can’t even remember the last time I was properly filled up by a cock. I miss that feeling so much. Will you help me, please? I want you to take care of me, Joel.” You nearly moaned out a plea as your thighs rubbed together beneath the sheets.

Joel’s rough exterior had seemingly melted into a puddle of liquid as you nearly begged him. Who was he to say no to a person in need? Here you were, so willing, so compliant, so submissive, and right where he wanted you to be. “Oh, my poor little lamb. It’s been that long for you? Perhaps I’ll just have to remind your cunt just how good it feels to be properly filled up by a cock, hmm? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Please, Joel. Please remind me how good it feels to be filled up by a cock. I want you to stretch me out..I want to feel you everywhere..think you can handle that, sir?” You were already reaching for his hand as he scooted closer to where your body was laying. You guided his hand between your thighs so he could feel just how wet you were for him. “Please, can’t you feel how wet I am? Please make me feel good, sir.”

His eyes nearly rolled back into his skull from your desperation and neediness as his fingers lightly traced the seam of your panties where he could feel the wetness pooling through the fabric. “I’ll take real good care of you, little lamb. You’re in good hands. We’ll have to take these off so I can get a good look at ya. Bet she’s so fuckin’ pretty. Dyin’ to have a peek.”

He’s a goner.

She’s a goner.

“Take them off, please.” You whimpered as his hands grasped the hem of your panties and slowly pulled them down your thighs. His pupils dilated from the sight of the fabric sticking to your puffy wet pussy. His mouth watered from the sight alone as he discarded your ruined panties to the floor. You felt the warm embrace of his hand wrap around the inside of your thigh as he coaxed it across his lap so he could spread you nice and wide. “Oh, fuck. Look at how swollen she is. Must hurt so much.” He pouted with furrowed brows. “Such a pretty fuckin’ pussy. I cannot wait to ruin her, my little lamb.” At this angle you were entirely exposed to his greedy eyes as you watched his hand travel southward once more. He used his middle and forefinger to spread your folds open so he could get a better view of your swollen little clit. He appeared to be mesmerized as your tight wet little hole involuntary clenched inwards.

Your moans were anything but fake as his thumb slowly worked your clit into tight circles. He wasn’t lying about the fact that you certainly were in good hands. You were wet enough as it is, but he felt that extra lubrication couldn’t hurt as he spat a glob of saliva between his fingers and rubbed it in. He soon had two fingers knuckle deep inside of you as he slowly curled them inwards. “Gotta get you nice and relaxed for me, baby. I don’t wanna hurt ya, and you’re being such a good little lamb for me. I think I’ll just have to reward you for that. How does that sound?” His eyes drifted upwards so he could see your face twist with pleasure as your toes curled inwards.

“Oh, sir.” You moaned wantonly. “That feels so fucking good. Please don’t stop. I promise I’ll keep being your good little lamb. Can you show me your cock, Joel? I want to see it. I bet it’s so big..what if it doesn’t fit?”

He shifted his hips upwards so you could get a good look at his dick. He watched your eyes widen the slightest at the sight of him. Heavy set balls, dark coarse hair, and by far the thickest cock you had ever feasted your eyes upon. “Shh, we’ll make it fit. It’ll feel so fuckin’ good once I’m stretching you out, little lamb. You just gotta trust me. Can you do that for me, baby? Can you trust me?”

“Mhmm. I can trust you, sir. I know you’ll take extra good care of me. Please don’t make me wait much longer..please be good to me.”

He pressed a reassuring kiss to your temple as he felt the walls of your pussy clench down around his thick digits. The squelching sound sent blood quickly flowing southwards as his cock twitched against his thigh. As soon as he slipped his fingers out of you, he knelt between your thighs with one hand wrapped firmly around the base of his cock as he twisted his wrist a couple times. His freehand was wrapped around the underside of your thigh as he brought it around his shoulder with your heel resting along his firm shoulder blade. “Good little lamb. I’m goin’ fill this pretty little pussy up just the way that she deserves, okay? See, I told you that bein’ my pet wasn’t gonna be so bad. I knew you’d warm up to me eventually.” He mumbled under his breath as he slowly dragged his tip between your folds, rutting his hips forward slowly. The tip of his cock bumped against your already sensitive clit with each gentle thrust.

Your brain felt like a scrambled egg that was being mentally toyed and fucked with. This sick man could have easily fucked you like a rag doll into his mattress, and instead he was choosing to take things slow. Why? You couldn’t wrap your head around his reasoning, or if this was truly just another piece to his game, but Jesus fuck, there was no denying that it felt fucking incredible.

Your words came out like slurred jarble as your mouth slowly felt open when you felt him slowly start to sink inside of you, stretching you open, filling you up just like his promise. It felt like his cock was splitting you in two the further he pressed into you. He coaxed you gently when you clawed at his forearms. Shushing you with featherlight kisses to your cheekbones when he had bottomed out. Your leg fell limp around his shoulder when he had slowly pulled his hips back before jutting them forward.

He was fucking you deliciously deep as the matress squeaked from the movement. He was watching your face for any signs of discomfort as you struggled to figure out where he started, and where he ended. Your pussy hugged him tight as it drew him in deeper with each thrust. His hand nearly engulfed your hip as his thumb lightly pressed down along your lower abdomen where he could feel the tip of his cock just barely kissing your cervix. “Can you feel me right there, little lamb? You’re doing so good for me. So fuckin’ good. Tightest little pussy I’ve ever had. She’s huggin’ me so good.” His grunts mixed with your sharp moans as you struggled to not completely throw your plan out the window. In this position it was hard to gain any sense of control; it was time to switch things up.

“Joel, baby.” You mewled softly as your hips rolled forward to meet his thrusts. “I wanna try something that I think you’ll really like..I wanna be on top. You must be so exhausted from dealing with me all day..why don’t you lay back and I’ll do all the work?” You suggested with a harsh breath as he leaned down over you. You could feel the broad weight of his chest pressing down against you as his lips brushed across the shell of your ear, “that’s the best idea you’ve had all goddamn day, little lamb.”

Even after your handsome offering, he wasn’t quite ready to slip out of your warmth just yet. Now that he had a taste, there was no way in hell that he was about to let you go from his grasp. He had consumed you completely to the point where it felt like you were being suffocated by his sheer mass and the way he managed to hit that spongy spot inside of you with every profound intense induced thrust. His wiry patchy beard scraped at the soft skin of your cheek as he drove himself further. “Jus’ gimme a little more time with ya like this. You feel so fuckin’ good around me. Jus’ a little longer.” He stuttered between harsh jagged breaths that fluttered across the shell of your ear. His teeth nipped, scraped at the skin as the musty scent of his sweat melded into yours. Skin on skin: with no point of relief.

When he finally began to slowly slip out of your tight wet walls, it appeared that your body was reluctant to let go of him based on the way your pussy clenched around him tightly like a fist. He chuckled low and deep as he watched a mixture of your release and his own leak out of your tight fucked out hole. It glistened along the apex of your thighs, trailing down your skin, dripping along the once unsoiled comforter.

“My my, little lamb. You’ve gone and made quite the mess of yourself hmm?” He teased as he slowly dragged his pointer finger through the mixture of fluids as if he was creating an erotic painting, and his finger was the steady brush.

Focus. Focus. Focus. Your brain chanted at you relentlessly.

“Hnngh..mhm..i’ve made such a mess of myself, sir. Will you please clean me up?”

He smirked cruelly through the pale moonlight that danced across your skin as he scooted himself back on his knees, his cock brushing against the comforter and creating just enough stimulation for him to be satisfied for the time being. “Well, since you asked so nicely, I suppose I can give you an itty-bitty reward.” He mused as his eyes locked in on your glistening pussy just begging to be kissed. Your lashes fluttered when you felt his hot breath fan your core. Might as well get all the use out of him that you could get.

He pressed open mouth kisses to the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. Sucking, licking, kissing around where you craved him most. The second those sinful lips latched onto your swollen clit, a carnal need washed over both of you as he devoured you whole. His tongue worked you in languid strokes as he made sure to lick up every last drop. Your orgasm was steadfast approaching as the coil in your stomach tightened. Your thighs clamped firmly around his head like a stubborn shell. If it were any other situation, you’d let him eat you for hours, days even, but you had to stick to your plan.

He wasn’t letting up easily as you used all your strength to push his head from between your thighs. His beard and lips were coated in your slick as he finally released you from his death grip. There was no time to catch your breath as his strong arms were already hosting you into his lap as he lazily rolled over onto his back with a soft grunt.

“Keep bein’ my good little lamb, and you’ll wake up every mornin’ with my head between your thighs.” He nearly purred as his hands anchored themselves around your hips. You could feel the head of his cock notching at your entrance as you slowly sank down against his bulky strong thighs. It took a mere moment for you to snap back into character and keep up with your charades as you wrapped your hand firmly around the base of his cock. “I’m going to take care of you now okay, Joel? You’ve been so good to me. I’m so grateful for your generous hospitality and your cock. I just want you to sit back and relax..can you do that for me, baby?” You held all the control in the palm of your hand as you slowly slid his tip between your slit. Your little noises of appreciation had his head spinning in circles as he squeezed your hips firmly.

“M’gonna keep you forever, just like this. Stuffed full of my cock. Filled to the fuckin’ brim.” He hissed between his teeth as you slowly inched yourself around him till he had filled you to the hilt. “M’so lucky to have a good little lamb like you, baby. My good little cockslut. It ain’t so bad, is it? Mmm..maybe you and I are more alike than you think.” He murmured with a lazy grin etched on his face as he gazed up at you through thick lashes.

“Of course i’ll be your good little lamb forever and ever, sir.” You played along as you slowly rolled your hips forward. “I’ll be so good to you just like you have been to me.” Now you had him right where you wanted him and it was only a matter of time. You affectionately played with his sweat stained curls, licked the musk from his neck as you inhaled his masculine aroma that seeped from his pores. You nipped at his flesh and left little love bites speckled across his skin. You fucked him the best way that you could, spending what was left of your dwindling energy to convince this man that you were submitting to him entirely. Each roll of your hips, and smack of your skin transported him to a new state of pure ecstasy. He didn’t last very long considering he was fairly spent himself. He let out a deep guttural animalistic grunt that ruptured from deep within his chest as he spilled his seed into you. He could feel both yours and his release drip down between where your bodies were connected. He praised in a soft tone, mumbling about how he was going to fall asleep just like this. “Y’stay right there, little lamb. Gonna keep you stuffed full of my cock all night.” He rasped as his lashes fluttered shut.

By all means, sir. Keep me stuffed full of your cock, because come morning, you’ll be waking up to an empty, cold, miserable bed. You fucking idiot.

He dozed off, still buried deep inside of your cunt as you sat there obediently. You listened to the sound of his breathing return to a normal rate as soft snores slipped past his parted lips. Only when you were certain that he wouldn’t awake from his sex induced slumber, did you finally slip off of his lap. You could feel the sticky residue of his come latching onto your thighs as his cock went soft. You gathered up the clothes he had given you as you rushed to dress and get the hell out of there. You were as quiet as a mouse as you crept out of his room. Your eyes zoned in on the rifle hanging along the hook next to the door.

You were so close to freedom you could almost taste it as you unlatched the door and began to slowly push the handle down–

“Where are you runnin’ off to, little lamb?” His tone was low and menacing as you felt the hardness of his chest press against your back. In one swift movement he had pulled the door shut with a heavy slam that rattled your bones to the core. You went to reach for his rifle but he was on you in a flash as he twisted your arms painfully behind your back. He knocked you forward against the wooden door with your cheek pressed firmly into the rough texture of the wood. When you didn’t respond to his original question, he asked again, but a lot less nicer.

“I said, where the fuck do you think you’re runnin’ off to, little lamb? Y’think you can play me for a goddamn fool?!” He bellowed. His harsh words bounced off the walls of the cabin as you struggled in his painful grip. “After I fed you, put clothes on your back and fucked you dumb, you think you can jus’ fuckin’ leave?!”

“Sir, I'm so sorry! You have it all wrong! I—just wanted to get some fresh air! I was going to come right back, I swear!” You took the pleading route in hopes that maybe he’d show you just a smidge of mercy. “I’d never leave you!”

He laughed darkly as he shoved you further into the door, creating little to no space for you to breathe. “Fuckin’ save it. You’re a goddamn filthy liar, little lamb! You were leavin’ me! What a fuckin’ shame too because you were being so so good. Pity, because I was actually thinking of letting you go myself.” He lied straight through his teeth as he forced his knee between your thighs and spread them apart. His hand that wasn’t holding your wrists painfully together wrapped around your middle as he yanked you roughly against his chest. His lips were right at your ear now. “You were being such a good little lamb for me, that I was beginning to feel sorry for taking you away..I was going to let you go first thing in the morning, but you just had to go and fuckin’ ruin it for yourself, huh?” He tsked

Fresh tears began to cascade down your face as you continued to try and break free. Your hope was quickly diminishing like a candle being blown out as he twisted your wrists at an unnatural angle. “PLEASE!” You begged, “I’m so sorry, sir! Please don’t kill me! I–I–can make it up to you, I swear!”

“Kill you? Oh, my dear sweet little lamb, you really haven’t been payin’ attention, have you? I’m not going to kill you. You’re far too pretty to be feasted on by some critters. That simply won’t do.” His hand that was securely wrapped around your middle snaked upwards as he roughly groped your breast through the fabric of your shirt. “Quit your fuckin’ squirming. You ain’t gettin’ yourself outta this one, little lamb.”

“Please, please let me go! I’m–I'm sorry for not being a good pet! I can do better! Please, Joel! You’re hurting me!” You cried out for mercy.

“Now, you’re gonna sit still and be a good little lamb, or I'll feed you to the wolves just outside my door.” He whispered harshly as he dropped his hand from around your breast only to then find the button on your pants before he yanked them down your thighs. Your pussy was sore and overstimulated when he pressed the ruddy head of his cock between your thighs. “Can’t you hear ‘em howlin?’ Bet they’re fistin’ their cocks right now thinkin’ about how your pretty little cunt would hug them so tight. S’only for me, right? This cunt belongs to me. Don’t fuckn’ gimme a reason to share.” He hissed as he harshly thrusted up into you, knocking the air from your lungs as his hand wrapped around your throat.

Your words came out as strangled cries as he continued to ram into you. “Can’tcha hear ‘em now? Beggin’ for this cunt. C’mon, little lamb. Scream for me. Let them know just how good daddy is treatin’ ya. Don’t you fuckin’ hold back.” His thumb and forefinger pressed firmly against your trachea making it harder for oxygen to reach your brain as your body went into distress mode. The more you fought, the tighter he held you. When you could begin to see stars dancing behind your eyelids, and your breath came out in a weak wheezing sound, he finally released you from his death grip.

You buckled over, gasping for air as your knees hit the floor with a sickening thud.

“Don’t you ever try to outsmart me again, little lamb.” He was standing over you like an ominous shadow as choked sobs raked through your body.

“Now, get the fuck back to bed, or i’ll drag you there myself.”

You took his threat seriously as you scrambled to your feet and scurried back to his room.

You never crossed him again, and for good reason. He apologized for his actions the next morning over breakfast. You weren’t very hungry, but forced yourself to eat for your own sake. Now you were his broken and submissive little lamb.

He did keep his promise of keeping you safe from all harm. Once enough trust was instilled, he allowed you to accompany him outside. He taught you all that he knew during those months. You found it hard to not begin to fall for him when he showed you his gentler side. It felt wrong, but right at the same time to love a man who was so cruel. He stripped you of your autonomy, and then stitched it right back together with his own needle and thread. You adapted to his lifestyle as if it was the back of your hand. Accompanying him on raids, torturing helpless individuals for the sheer thrill it felt to hold another person’s life in the palm of your hands.

Maybe you were sicker than he was.

This winter was proving to be unforgiving. Supplies and rations were low, and Joel’s men were growing antsy. Their leader was spending too much time tucked away in his cabin with you, and it was only a matter of time before someone would lash out. You were still fast asleep tucked away cozily in Joel’s warm bed while he called a meeting with the rest of the group.

“I say we head west. There ain’t nothin’ left here for us.” One of his men stated, and heads began to slowly nod in agreement.

“West? Why the hell would we go and do that? We got a decent territory here, and I'm this close to gettin’ us into the QZ. Jus’ have to twist a few more fingers to get us there. This ain’t the worst winter we’ve had. Don’t go and act like a bunch of fuckin’ pussies just because you’re afraid that your dicks are gonna freeze off.” He snapped.

“Easy enough for you to say, Miller. You’re the one who’s got a cockslut keepin’ you warm on the cold nights. What about the rest of us, huh? Can’t be bothered to share your prize?”

Joel could feel his blood begin to simmer as he slowly turned his head to the side. His eyes were narrowed into slits as his fists clenched tightly at his sides. “What the fuck did you jus’ call her?” His tone was eerily calm as he did his best to keep his temper at bay. You were off limits; end of story.

“You heard me. Bet that cockslut of yours was the one who suggested we stay here. That’s why it ain’t good to keep women around for long. They talk and talk and think that they have the answer for everything! Well, you know what I gotta say to that? Keep ‘em around to keep your cock warm and toss ‘em when they grow smart. That’s all they’re good for anyway. Jus’ a tight wet hole to fuck.”

The prominent veins in Joel’s neck bulged to the surface of his neck. His skin was so hot that the swirling flurries that landed on him immediately melted. His face grew red with rage. You were far more than just a hole to fuck. You were his little lamb, and god help any motherfuckers that dare disrespect his little lamb.

“I should fuckin’ carve your tongue out for that. She is not my cockslut.” If Joel’s men were smart, they’d back off while they still had the chance, but men will be men after all.

“Oh, please! Is her pussy really all that? Look at how soft you’ve gone, Miller! I say you dispose of her while you still have the chance. Oh, but before you do that, bring her out for a spin. We’ve been dyin’ to see what her cunt is all about.”

It was as if something inside of Joel had suddenly snapped and he found his hands constricted around the man’s neck. Joel had him pinned to the snow covered ground as the man thrashed around violently. No one dared to try and stop their leader until they heard the crunching of snow beneath boots as your voice drifted through the brewing blizzard like a rumbling echo

Joel’s head snapped in the direction of your voice as he loosened his grip around the man’s neck slightly. “Baby, what the fuck are you doin’ out here? It’s freezing! Get back inside–”

You were quick to cut him off as you approached the scene that was laid out in front of you. You ignored his present concern for your wellbeing as you crossed your arms over your chest. “What the fuck is going on here, Joel?”

“Seth said some shit that he really oughta have kept to himself. S’alright. I got this one handled. Why don’t you go on back home where it’s warm.”

“No. I want you to tell me what he said.” You stood firm

Joel eyed the rest of his men who were all looking much like sheep themselves. “He called you a cockslut, and that all a woman is good for is a tight wet hole to fuck.” He deadpanned.

You appeared unfazed sans the slight arch of your brow. “Really?” You scoffed. “How original. Don’t you think that strangling him is a bit too merciful?”

“Well, before you came out here, I threatened to carve his tongue out.”

“Oh?” You asked with a lopsided grin. “Now that is more your style, baby. Wanna use my knife? I just sharpened it the other day.”

Seth was nervously looking between yours and Joel’s sadistic grins as he struggled to escape. All Joel had to do was snap his fingers once for two of his men to then force Seth down by his shoulders, and physically pry his jaw open as he thrashed wildly on the ground.

“My little lamb, you’re so sick..y’know that?” He was already reaching for your outstretched knife before his hand encased around your wrist and gently tugged you down into the snow. “Front row seat jus’ for you, baby. Don’t worry, he’ll never say another word about you again.” he sealed his promise to you against your lips before he was pulling away to finish off the job.

“S’matter, Seth? Cat got your tongue?” Joel crooned as grabbed the back of his head and yanked it forward. “This oughta teach ya to respect women.”

“Joel–wait! Please don’t do this! I’m sorry! I’m–” Seth’s pleas were violently cut off when Joel sliced right through his tongue. Blood spattered and squirted from the gushing wound as his once attached muscle now laid limp in the snow.

“Oh, what was that? You’re sorry? It’s a bit too late for that, pal.” Joel spat before he picked up the chunk of Seth’s mutilated tongue and tossed it right into the nearby fire pit.

“Get him outta my sight before I decide to rip his throat out too. Tie him up to a tree a few miles from here. Leave him to the wolves. They’ll finish him off.” He demanded his men as he wiped the blood from your knife along Seth’s shirt.

His hand reached for yours to help you up from the ground. You held no shame to admit that watching Joel mutilate someone in front of you so willingly sent a wave of arousal gushing between your clenched thighs, and you probably would have fucked him right then and there and let his men watch because none of that really mattered anymore. You opted to pull him behind a cluster of trees instead as you dropped to your knees ceremoniously in the bitter cold snow that instantly bit at your exposed bare skin. Your hands clawed for his belt as you desperately unlatched it and shoved his jeans down his thighs swiftly. Your cheeks felt cold to the touch as Joel’s hand affectionately held your face in his warm palm as you pulled his stiff cock free. His heart swelled with pure pride for his good little lamb.

banners made by the lovely @saradika 🤍

[zeivira]

no rest for the wicked...

pls more

this shit is hilarious

like what are the others thoughts on this "illness" like garfiel, we've seen a bit of otto but i want more of him cuz he's best boi.

i imagine him going on full mama/big bro mood lmao

also that ficrec abt the crack fic by scissors? LMAO thx my parents knew im awake at 3am

point is

i like you now

so im gonna stalk- ahem- stick to you like a leach 🥺🌹

feed me more

The Cap’n's rule about everyone being strictly forbidden from watching him sleep—something about Garfiel being exactly like Rem but without pretty girl privilege—never actually stops the members of the camp from keeping an eye on him while the Cap’n's rests. 

The camp is nothing if not resourceful, and it’s not like they need to be inside the room when he’s sleeping to make sure he stays safe. Waiting a few feet away from the only entrance is just as effective. 

That's why when Garfiel smells a person approaching the Cap’n's room, during a time he knows he is asleep—they spent the last few days traveling to Pristella, like Hoshin traveled the desert to Banan after all—he rushes into the hallway and grabs the visitor's wrist right before it gets to knock at the Cap’n's door. 

"—the hell do ya think yer doin’?" Only after he finishes talking, under the dim hallway light of the mansion-like inn, he takes notice of the visitor's red, flame-like hair. A sharp horror, the one he had felt hours flooded through his entire body, as he realized whose wrist he grabbed. 

For a second, all is still. 

"Hello again, Sir Garfiel," the Sword Saint greets him, smiling as if they were pals and he hadn't evaded Garfiel’s senses and stopped his punch with a casual block a couple hours before. As if he weren’t the main obstacle between Garfiel and the title of Strongest. "I apologize if my presence alerted you, but all I wish to do is talk to Subaru." 

"W-well isn’ that convenient.  Anythin’ ya might need ta tell the Cap’n, ya can tell my amazin’ self instead." Big fat lie. There is a reason why the Cap’n is the Cap’n despite being borderline comatose and apparently not that much older than him. But Garfiel can’t trust anyone stronger than him, and as much as he hates himself for it…

The difference between him and Reinhard van Astrea is like a newborn Earth dragon and the Divine Dragon themself. 

His mere presence makes Garfiel's rawest instincts scream—tell him to either fight-or-flight. Garfiel doesn't want to be anywhere close to Reinhard, but much less he wants Reinhard anywhere close to the Cap’n when he sleeps. At least not until Garfiel proves himself a stronger shield than Reinhard. 

Even if the Cap’n is not defenseless—at least, not usually— he is useless while he isn't awake. And that means Galfield has to fight for both of them.

"I see," Reinhard's lips tilt downwards. "I do not mean disrespect, but what I would like to discuss would be related to something personal, unrelated to our respective camps..." 

Right. Garfield's eyebrow twitches. Right. The Cap’n said they were friends. 

"...the Cap’n's asleep," his voice sounds hoarse even to his ears. Maybe if he makes his tone drier than the Augura Sand Dunes, he can get Reinhard to give up and leave?

Reinhard's eyes widen. "Is that so. From what I gathered he mostly slept during the night." 

Garfield scowls. Of course the Sword Saint knew that much. "The Cap’n does, but he couldn' sleep during the trip, as we moved without pause, just like the Emperor of the Briar who never knew rest," Garfield crosses his arms. "So he is sleeping now and won't wake up in a while." 

"I see..." Reinhard says, and an uncomfortable silence falls between them. His gaze felt so heavy that if Garfiel moved carelessly, he wouldn’t know what his fate would b— "I wanted to ask about my father, actually—” Reinhard spoke up, breaking the silence. “I heard there were some issues close to Lady Priscilla's domain that involved Subaru and him." 

It takes Garfield a second to realize what he is talking about. His joy over learning the one and only Sword Saint's father was joining Emilia's camp to help Subaru stop the Argyle healer evaporated the moment his eyes actually lied on the man. After a couple days he just became Old Man, a skilled drunkard with a sob story, rather than a member of the family his mother used to read him stories about. 

"Issues,” Garfield snorts at Reinhard’s choice of word. “Tha's one way of sayin’ it." He makes a face. "Yeah, I was there too. The Old Man made us go lookin’ for a stupid chalice with the power to cure all sickness, but in the end it's only power w’s turning water into booze. Big ass let down." 

Reinhard’s shoulders sag. "So that’s what happened…” Reinhard’s eyes finally looked past Garfiel and looked at the still closed door, an unreadable thought reflected in them. “...I am glad father was with Subaru and you nonetheless. I can't imagine him taking another disappointment well..." 

How could any member of the group that went after the dumb cup not be disappointed? The chalice would have been able to cure not only the Old Man’s wife, but the Cap’n too. As the camp’s shield it’s his duty to protect everyone from everything—including hereditary diseases. When the Old Man mentioned the rumors, he was the first to tell Emilia they absolutely needed to go.

Still— the entire conversation leaves a bad taste in his mouth. The Cap’n was already carrying enough on his shoulder, with being the Hero that defeated the Archbishop of Sloth, the White Whale and the Great Rabbit— did he really need to trouble himself with family drama when the man ain’t even dead? “Why?” 

Reinhard blinks. “Well, it has been many years—” 

“—no, not that.” Garfiel’s scowl grows. “Why do ya need to imagine it? Yar dad’s alive, you could ask him.”

Reinhard just stares, before a bitter smile covers his lips. “Although true, my father doesn’t enjoy my company, so I wouldn’t like to impose myself when unnecessary.” 

But he is alive, is what he wants to say. “My mom’s dead,” is what he says instead. Because damn— he saw the Old Man, the even Older Man and him talk during dinner and how Ottobro almost lost his head trying to stop Old and Older from killing each other, right before Priscilla arrived saying this was the most amusing shitshow she had seen in weeks. The Old Man genuinely didn’t want to be with Reinhard and his dad.

But he is alive. All three of them are. They can talk. While Garfiel's mom is dead and gone and he can't tell her how much he loves her. "Just because your father is with us, and the Cap’n is strong enough to carry the weight of yar family drama, doesn't mean he should."

Reinhard's eyes widen again. "I—" 

"The Cap’n sleeps longer when he overworks himself," Garfield cuts, his words stronger than any punch he ever did. 

And Reinhard's mouth shuts with an audible click, expression shifting into one of horror— as it should. 

"He carries everyone's problems on his back— no matter how tired he is...!" He clenches his fists. "The Cap’n is so cool, cooler than the Sage and Reid! But precisely because he is like that is that we need to push ourselves harder. Be the people the Cap’n wants us to be, even if he is too shy to tell us. Because— because...!" 

“—will you two please SHUT UP?!" The Cap’n's door parts open with a bang, and the Cap’n appears in the doorway, rubbing his eyes while scowling. “Some of us are actually trying to sleep around here!”

Garfiel rushes back to his room only minutes later, but also doesn't miss Reinhard walking in direction to the Old Man's room rather than the hallway he originally came from.

beta read by @daemonerik

[guronffs]

Priorities

"Blitz, we need to talk." Moxxie said as he and Millie entered his office. "Oh no," Blitz said, groaning, "What is it now?" "It's important," Millie said. "... to us." Blitz responded with an understanding nod and let them have a seat in front of his desk. M&M looked at each other and nodded before facing Blitz. Moxxie was the first to speak. "We really appreciate you and everything you've done for us." "Ya give me good pay and have me doin' what I love." Millie said. "And ya helped Mox out of his shell. Out of all the bosses we had, yer the best." "I'm expecting a 'but' here." Blitz said.

"But," Moxxie said.

"Called it."

"-we have kids at home, kids that we love and cherish more than anything in Hell."

Millie now spoke, "And we wanna make sure that they grow up with both of their parents there."

"Ah, I think I know where this is going." Blitz said. "You wanna leave, don't you?"

"No, no, no!" Moxxie said as he and Millie shook their head frantically. "We're still working here. We just... have new priorities with our lives."

Moxxie looked to Millie, who gave him a reassuring nod. He then leaned in closer, placing his hands on the desk. "Jessie and Amanda are the most important things in our lives now, and while we'll do our best on the field, we won't do anything if it means me or Millie die." Moxxie took a deep breath before continuing. "If there ever comes a time when we have to make a choice between us or you, we will ALWAYS pick us."

Millie chimed in again. "No matter what happens, we are getting home to our kids, even if it means we have to leave you, Loona, Wraith, or even Octavia to die. It's not like we want anythin' bad to go down, but that's what's gonna happen if it happens." Throughout their whole explanation, Blitz kept his dead serious look, not making any changes to it. Once they were done, Moxxie leaned back into his chair, looking like a weight had been thrown off his shoulders.

To their surprise, Blitz smiled and gave a nod. "I wouldn't expect anything less from you two. Honestly, I'd think you were shitty parents if you were just itching to throw your lives away for me. Loona and Octavia... they can handle themselves. But those kids... parents like you are one in a million, it won't be the same with anyone else."

Now Millie and Moxxie smiled. "Thank you for understanding, Blitz." the latter said.

"No, thank you for being great parents. And don't worry, if the time comes, and I mean IF cause I don't plan on dying on the job either, but if it does, I'll be yelling at you to leave me behind."

Little vent fic to get me over Sinsmas (I haven't even watched it yet and it's fucking me up lol). This took place in the HBAC, but this convo could happen in canon as well. And hey, if you're interested, check out the mainline HBAC series on my AO3!

[that-basic-simp]

Dangerous Woman

"What is it now?" Odessa asked as we were brought into the headquarters at Overwatch.

"We need you and Y/N to take on a mission," Winston said as a shit load of files appeared in front of us.

"We need you to go undercover and since you're new to Overwatch, Odessa, we figured you'd be the perfect candidate."

She let out a sigh as she was sifting through the mountain piles of information in front of us.

"W-What are we even doin'?"

"Talon activity has picked up since the leader of Null Sector, Ramattra, started his attack on major cities. Such as King's Row. We believe that Talon is going to try to meet up with Ramattra so that they can work together," Tracer said as she zipped around the room.

"And what exactly are we going to do?" I asked.

"The next point of attack is Paris. More specifically, a ball that is going to be taking place. So we need you two to infiltrate the ball, find Talon and get information. Odessa, listen to me carefully," Tracer said. "Do not engage the enemy unless provoked or given good reason to."

"So if they start shootin' at Y/N, I can shoot back, yeah?"

"You won't be allowed to take any sort of weapons into the ball."

"Fuck," Odessa whispered. "But what if they do start shootin' at Y/N?"

"Run like hell," she said.

"That's no fun," she sighed.

"Your safety is more important than fighting Talon right now. We will eventually get them when the time is right," Tracer said. "And we'd be more than happy to get you both to help out."

"We'll see how this mission goes," I said.

"Good. We have your outfits ready for you in your sleeping quarters," Winston said. "And thank goodness we called you when you have your natural hair, Odessa."

Odessa sighed and ran her hand through her black mohawk, "Don't remind me. I forgot that I needed to get hair dye."

"It'll make ya look less like a target," I chuckled as I walked past her.

"Aye, you're one to talk," she said and lightly smacked the back of her hand across my ass.

"Odessa!" I laughed, running away from her as she stood up, trying to get me again.

"C'mere, princess," she let out a playful growl, chasing me all the way back to our sleeping quarters.

"Are you sure they're the right people for this mission?" Winston asked.

"I have faith in them!" Tracer smiled.

We walked into our sleeping quarters to find what we needed to wear. As soon as I saw what Odessa was going to wear, I couldn't help but laugh inside, but my jaw dropped.

"Ain't no way in hell I am wearin' that!" she shouted as she walked over to the dress that was hanging up.

"Hold on, Dez. I want to see ya in it."

"I was expectin' a suit or somethin'."

"I know ya were, but let's see how it looks on ya. Besides, we're supposed to not stand out. I think you in a suit might make ya stand out."

"You want to know what's going to make me stand out? Me in a dress."

"If anythin', ya might catch some guy's attention."

"If anyone tries anythin' funny, I am poundin' their head into the ground. Especially if they get handsy with ya," she looked at the dress I was going to be wearing.

"At least it's nothin' too fancy. You're not that kind of person," I said and kissed her cheek.

She let out a sigh, running her hand through her mohawk, "I take it I've gotta take the mohawk out."

"Most likely."

"Fuck," she whispered as she walked into the bathroom to change.

While the room was empty, I got changed into the dress I was going to be wearing and I waited to get into the bathroom so I could do some makeup. At least some lipstick and mascara. The door opened up and Odessa walked out with the dress on and her hair was out of her mohawk, flat ironed to where it was straight and not wavy.

"W-Wow," I whispered, admiring her.

"D-Do I look alright?" she asked.

"You look amazing," I said, leaning towards her. I stood on my tiptoes and placed a peck to her lips.

A small smile appeared as she placed a kiss to my forehead, "Thank you, princess."

"I shouldn't say, amazing. Ya look stunning, wonderful, beautiful, attractive."

"Oh hush, Y/N. If ya want to do things later tonight why don't ya just ask?"

"Can we?"

"Of course," she said. "If we don't get blown to bits."

"I hope not," I said and walked into the bathroom, doing a bit of makeup before walking out.

"Odessa, what are you doing?" I asked.

"N-Nothing," she said, turning her back away from me.

I walked towards her, grabbing her shoulder, and spun her around. I noticed the hilt of one of my swords was in the back of her dress. With how it parted, it was a large V that exposed her muscular back, but with how the sword was placed, it looked as if it was part of the dress itself.

"T-That actually doesn't look too bad."

"And," she parted the siding of the dress to reveal Gracie was attached to her thigh.

"Really? Gracie is fine, but the sword is overkill."

"Just a safety precaution, princess," she said as we walked out of the room and to the hangar.

Tracer was there and was going to be our escort. Once we got into the airplane, she flew out to the airport in Paris before the three of us got out and she drove us to where the ball was going to be. Pulling up to the venue, we both got out and Odessa waited for me so I could walk in beside her. I wrapped my arm around hers and we walked in together.

"Remember you're here to get information," Winston said through our ear pieces, that were covered up by our hair.

While flying here, Tracer put mics on us that were disguised as well as small cameras too. They were ready for anything to happen.

"Got it, Winston," I pressed the earpiece.

"Maybe we should do somethin' like this back at home, princess," Odessa said as we walked in, seeing a large crystal chandelier. It glimmered and shined as the lights bounced off of it.

"Think Hammond can make somethin' like that?"

"He'd make it even better," Odessa chuckled as we walked around, trying to blend in.

As we were walking around, trying to socialize with people, I kept an eye on Odessa as she was cornered by a few guys. Letting out a sigh, I went to go make my way over to her, but something caught my attention. It was a woman who had light blue skin and a tall African man who was wearing the only white suit here.

"That's them, Y/N," Tracer said.

"Who are they?"

"Akande Ogundimu and Amelie Lacroix. They're Talon members. Otherwise known as Doomfist and Widowmaker."

"Follow them, Y/N," Winston said.

I looked over at Odessa, who was dealing with her own issues. I let out a sigh and followed after the two. I hid behind a pillar as they stopped and started talking to an omnic who was wearing robes. There were cables attached to his head to make the appearance of dreadlocks.

"Ramattra," Doomfist began. "Good to see you again."

"Likewise," said the omnic.

"Can we please get this over with?" Widowmaker asked. "I don't like being here."

"Of course. Now, what is your plan?" Doomfist said.

"We are going to set up camps here and overrun small parts of Paris. Simple as that. If Talon were to aid, that'd be such a pleasure. I could use the help of humans like you, even if I despise them."

"What does Talon get in return?"

I was closing in on their conversation, but a small gust of wind whisked past me.

"Dez," I pressed onto the earpiece.

"What's up, princess?"

"We're not alone."

"What?"

"We're not--" I was cut off by someone coming out of nowhere and placing a hand on my mouth.

"Scream and you'll regret it," someone said.

Looking behind me, I knew who it was. Sombra. I growled lowly, but I didn't move. I heard footsteps coming towards me and that was when Odessa appeared from behind the pillar.

"Oh fuck," she whispered.

"Gotcha," Sombra chuckled and sent out an EMP that cut off our communication to Tracer and Winston.

"Catcha later," she disappeared.

"Oi, where the fuck did ya go?!" Oddessa yelled, about to bring out her knife.

I looked behind the pillar to see they were gone.

"Damn it. Dez, we gotta go."

"Freeze!"

There were guards surrounding us. Odessa and I raised our hands in the air. One came over and kicked me behind the knee, causing me to fall onto the ground.

"Y/N!"

"Dez," I breathed out. "It's going to be fine."

"Silence!" the guard yelled and bashed the end of his assault rile inbetween my shoulder blades.

"Y/N," Odessa breathed out.

"Dez, no."

It was as if everything happened next was in slow motion. She reached behind her back and unsheathed my sword. Swinging it upwards, she sliced one of the assault rifles that was pointed at her in half.

"FIRE!"

Dodging the bullets, she ran around the pillars and came up from behind one of the guards. She knocked him in the back of his head with the hilt of my sword and stabbed another that was running towards her. Pushing the side of her dress away, she pulled out Gracie and stuck it into the neck of another guard before slicing the head off of another. There were two guards left who just booked it. Putting Gracie back in the sheath on her thigh, she lifted me up over her shoulder and walked out of the building.

The car Tracer drove zipped into the front, avoiding the mass panic now, and the doors opened up. Odessa put me down before we got into the car. She closed the door and we drove off. I let out a sigh as there was a dull pain in the middle of my back.

"You really are something," Tracer said.

"They were hurting Y/N," Odessa croaked out, looking at the blood on the blade.

"I'm ok, Dez."

She looked down at me, worry still in her eyes, "I wasn't going to lose you tonight. I've seen what those kinds of guns can do. They can unload rounds upon rounds without stopping or stalling. I wasn't going to risk losin' you."

A small smile appeared as I leaned into her, my head resting on her shoulder.

"You really are a dangerous woman."

She chuckled, "You bet 'cha I am."

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 8

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Rei: Well, whatever. If there’s nothin’ we can do, should we leave the “vampires” alone then?

Koga: No. Hasumi-senpai has prohibited anyone from enterin’ this livehouse if they haven’t applied to the student council and received approval for their unit.

Don’t really get it but, if you break the rules you’re gonna get punished, so.

But the “vampires” are just gonna ignore that ‘n keep on causin’ havoc.

Hasumi-senpai was sayin’ somethin’ about settin’ up a DreFes so we can put an end to those guys once ‘n for all.

That’s why I’m out here practicin’.

Rei: A Drefes… Is it like a live showdown? Doesn’t really sound dream-like.

Koga: Even if the DreFes takes place ‘n we win, what happens next?

Are the rotted idols at our school gonna suddenly have a moment of introspection ‘n say “from this point forward, I’m going to take my idol activities seriously!”?

Rei: That’s the plan, I guess. A rotted corpse can’t become a living human again though.

But. The DreFes is part of school regulations. From what I’ve seen, rules say that if they keep losin’ they’ll be disqualified from bein’ idols.

Their grades get worse ‘n worse, and since they’re not fit t’be a student at our school anymore, they’ll be suspended or expelled.

Bouzu’s just tryna find an excuse t’exile the delinquents, or “vampires” from school.

Koga: Nn, that’s still kinda a roundabout way of doin’ things… Can’t he just use the very fact that they are delinquents to kick ‘em out? That’s bad enough on its own.

Not much point in him goin’ out of his way t’set up a live showdown.

Rei: There’s a high percentage of Yumenosaki students, especially those on the idol course, that come from respectable families. That includes me.

That’s why the schools been turnin’ a blind eye to all their misconduct.

The entire industry is on the decline, and strugglin’ Yumenosaki needs nutrients to survive– needs money to survive.

No matter how irritatin’ and rowdy they are, it’s not as simple as just throwin’ them out.

That’s Yumenosaki’s fatal flaw. No matter how sick it is, ‘n how much it’s hurtin’, it’s not as simple as just removin’ the defective organs.

On the flip side, the schools been desperately tryna cover up any student scandals ‘n protect them from it.

That’s why the “vampires” are still out here, enjoyin’ their youth. So, what do you think? Pretty revolting story, right?

Koga: I guess… Is money really everythin’? Adults always say that it is.

Is money more important than justice? There’s people out there who have been brought t’tears ‘cos of those delinquents, there’s people who feel like shit even though they haven’t done anything wrong.

Why do people who do bad things laugh ‘n point fun at people who do good things?

It’s weird, Sakuma-senpai.

Rei: Yeah. You realise with age that that’s just how the world is, and you learn to ignore it.

So, if you can, help Bouzu to get rid of these delinquents like he’s planned.

Koga: Th-then, you’ve got to take part too! If Sakuma-senpai is on our side, we’ll have the strength of a hundred people!

Let’s do this! Let’s defeat the delinquents with our music!

Rei: Hm~... When you ask me like that, I go all weak.

Ahaha. I don’t think there’s a fix for this sort of thing…maybe I’ve got an incurable disease.

Koga: Y-you’re sick Sakuma-senpai? Then don’t force yourself t’do anythin’...?

Rei: Don’t worry, it’s more of a mental problem.

Right then. Take me t’where Bouzu is, so I can help him too.

I’ll stand on stage.

Koga: Hah! Fuck yes~! If you’re on our side, we won’t lose to anyone ♪

Rei: But. I’m not the type t’break my promises, so I can’t be on the same side as Bouzu who beat me in the Deadmanz live.

That’s why I can’t stand on the stage as his ally. If I do show up, I’ll be in a different unit to him. That’s the only way I’ll perform.

So. If you’re gonna stand on the stage, you gotta pick. Me or him, Oogami Koga-kun.

Koga: That’s, I’m… This ain’t the time to be stubborn. We should band together so we can defeat those delinquents ‘n then—

Rei: Nope~, no can do. This ain’t some heartwarmin’ story. I’m not breakin’ my promise. Not again.

A promise was made. And he lost.

We’ve said our goodbyes. Our paths will never cross again. We will never stand on the same stage again, with the same goals in mind.

Koga: ...

Rei: Yet I stood with him! We have performed together countless times! I'm sorry about how rash I was back then…!

Koga: True. And in the end, I chose t’stand with you, Sakuma-senpai.

Rei: It feels as if Hasumi-kun bestowed you upon me. He was serious, so I couldn’t break my promise.

He said that since he had formed a new unit, AKATSUKI, and per the rules, could not belong to more than one unit at a time.

In the end, Hasumi-kun acted as a supporting figure, working behind the scenes whilst we fought on the front lines to vanquish the delinquents.

[ ☆ ]

Chapter 7

Chapter 9

[engiewife]

Hello.🙂

cheer bear🌈, good luck bear🍀 & love-a-lot-bear💞?

Hey!

Thanks fer the ask

cheer bear 🌈 - how do you cheer s/i up when they're feeling down? are you more likely to want to solve their problem, or help them feel out the negative feelings?

I’m like the best at cheering Nick up! And I know too cause that guy tends to get like all sad a lot. I usually just cheer him up by being around ‘im, he always tells me my presence alone calms him down. Such a good boyfriend, aren’t I? Without even tryin’, tellin’ ya! Though on the rare occasion that doesn’t work, I usually just drag him to my room, so we can listen to some records ya know? He’s the only reason I have that damn Sinatra mixed in my Tom Jones records.

I’m more of a solvin’ type of guy, well if the solvin’ is bashing anyone who upset him’s skull in.

good luck bear 🍀 - who's more of an optimist -- you, or s/i?

Yeah so Nick’s more of a “expect the worst” type of guy, me personally it is what it is, whatever happens happens. Nick’s the type to where you take him out to eat and he acts like the worst that could happen is the damn world exploding.

I don’t know I like to look a bit on the brighter side, while Nick’s whinin’ that RED’s gonna kick our ass I’m confident that we gonna wipe the floor with ‘em and hey I mean I’m right sometimes

love-a-lot bear 💞 - what moment made you realize that s/i was "the one"? be as detailed or vague as you want!

He joined BLU a little after me, I remember the first day met him short little guy almost killin’ himself from the recoil of a shotgun, laughed my damn ass off.

After that I just kinda realized I liked bein’ around ‘im, I had never been into any guy before so I didn’t think anythin’ of it, ya know? I thought it was just cause he was a bit goofy lookin’, ya know someone to laugh at when I’m bored. Then that fuckin’ Spy got onto Nick about somethin’ one day, and I’m usually pissed off when Spy gets on his stuff but him doin’ it to Nick just seemed to tick me off even more. I don’t know I guess that’s when I realized I wanted to do a lot for that guy kinda just went off from there. Realized I wanted this goofy lookin’ little guy.

Thanks fer the ask ;)

[direwombat]

it's like some kind of wednesday in here (+ a bonus WIP music wednesday because I'm late)

tagged by @g0dspeeed, @adelaidedrubman, @gaeadene, and @socially-awkward-skeleton (or pseudo tagged anyway <3) for another wednesday

tagging @strangefable, @strafethesesinners, @detectivelokis, @sstewyhosseini, @confidentandgood, @river-ward, @wrathfulrook, @henbased, @voidika, @madparadoxum, @euryalex, @clonesupport, @schoute, @poetikat, @aceghosts, @inafieldofdaisies, @vampireninjabunnies-blog, @harmonyowl, @purplehairsecretlair, @ivymarquis, @cassietrn, @neverthesameneveranother, @roofgeese, @jacobsneed, @trench-rot, and anyone else who has something they want to share <;3!

here's the bit of dialogue right before syb does some dumb shit (surrendering herself to John)

“Chosen chopper incoming. Want me to shoot ‘er down?”

She shakes her head even though she knows he can’t see her. “Don’t,” she says. “They’re here for me.”

“Uh…I ain’t followin’.”

“I made a deal with John,” she explains. “Myself in exchange for your and Kim’s safety.”

“What!?” Nick exclaims. “You’re just handin’ yourself over to him?”

“I ain’t happy ‘bout it either, but I ain’t got much choice,” she says. “John’s just gonna keep throwin’ his men at us til one or both of us ends up dead. Least if I do this, you n’ Kim can pack your bags and get to Falls End before he decides to go back on his word.”

Besides, the sooner she knows where he’s keeping Joey, the sooner she can figure out how to bust her free. 

Then she can go looking for her brother. 

“Look. Just trust me, okay? I know what I’m doin’.” 

She hopes she sounds more confident than she feels. 

“If you say so,” Nick answers, but she can hear the reluctance in his voice. 

“Just get your ass back on the ground and go to your wife. Let me handle the rest.” And with that, she tunes into the Falls End frequency. “Grace, you copy?”

The few moments it takes for her to respond drags on for an eternity, but finally, she answers. “Yeah, I’m here.”

Sybille breathes a sigh of relief. “Great. Listen, I need you to get to Nick’s airstrip ASAP.”

“What’s goin’ on? You need backup?”

“Kinda,” she answers. Poking her head out from behind her cover, she glances at the Peggies awkwardly idling on the airstrip. One of them happens to meet her gaze and she hesitantly gives the man a wave. Puzzled, he waves back, and then she disappears back behind the bar. “Told John I’d surrender if he left Nick and Kim alone.”

“And why would you do something stupid like that?” Grace asks.

Sybille sighs and drags her hand down her face. “Was either that or risk Kim gettin’ shot,” she says. “Look, I ain’t trust a single word that comes outta that snake’s mouth, so if you could come down and make sure he doesn’t try anythin’ once he’s got me, that’d be great.”

“And if he does?”

“Then you get Nick and Kim outta here,” she says bluntly. “Don’t care where you take ‘em. Just make sure they’re safe.”

“And what about you?”

She sighs again. “Don’t worry ‘bout me,” she says. “I’ll be fine.” 

Grace is quiet for a long time, and there’s a brief moment where Sybille worries that she might refuse her request. But then her voice comes crackling through the radio once more. “You remember when I called you crazy?”

Sybille laughs. “Which time?” she asks.

“Don’t matter,” Grace answers. “I take it back. You’re fuckin’ insane.”

Her smile widens. “So you’ll be here?”

“I'm on my way,” Grace says reluctantly. In the background, Sybille can hear the roar of an ATV coming to life.

The tension in Sybille’s shoulders immediately relaxes and she closes her eyes, leaning her head back to rest it against the wood paneling of the bar. “I owe you,” she says.

“Damn right you do,” Grace grunts. “Oh, and Dep?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t get dead.”

“Copy that,” she smiles. “See you on the other side.”

WIP MUSIC WEDNESDAY

been trying to get myself into the john seed mindset so here's a song (my ethel cain katc epiphanies earlier this evening aside) that's been helping me as i struggle to write him lmao

Listen up all you beggars, you liars and you thieves I'm about to bring you something that's gonna take you to your knees And you know that I could never let you down Oh when you feel the might and you hear that old soul sound

You've been waiting on the wind You've been waiting on the winds of change to blow your sails into the night Oh but all you do is sit and cry

You got to go down to the river and wash your soul clean You got to go down to the river and wash your soul clean Ooh down to the river and wash your soul clean You got to go down to the river and wash your soul clean

What you want (Down to the river) You ain't got (And wash your soul clean) What you got is all that you need

[mealvaan]

Perpetuity

TW. Grievous child injury, child death, child endangerment, and reckless behaviour reminiscent of self-harm. CW. Dawntrail spoilers.

"Hey, Mama. Do we know anyone who's died?"

"I wouldn't know, Ishy."

Ish'kirya, at the ripe age of six, asked questions their mother wasn't prepared for. Aolaani put down her reading tablet and gave the little one a once-over. Their eyes, mismatched hues of magenta, stretched like great dishes with pinpricks of antennae as their pupils. Their ears were swivelled towards her, wide and wanting for more about the world.

"Why d'you wanna know anyway, kiddo?" she asked, knees brushing the carpet as she squatted down in front of them. "Anythin' on ya mind?"

"So, we were learning about the regulator today. You know, basic stuff you and Mommy already taught me. It holds your credits, you can use credits to buy stuff, et cetera. Someone in my class told me that you can buy souls with credits, and the regulator stores 'em in case you die. That true?"

Aolaani cursed Ish'kirya's cowardly teacher in the quiet recesses of her mind. A whole lesson about regulators and you don't even explain to them how death works? Fucking hells, what are we even paying you to teach our kids for? She sat cross-legged on the floor of their apartment and patted the space beside her. She hadn't realised at this point that Ish'kirya took this as a cue for 'adult talk'; their eyes lit up as they relished in the opportunity to learn a little secret that few else in their class would know.

"Your mama's died a few times before, kid," she said, and Ish'kirya's brows shot right up into their messy fringe.

"Wait, seriously?"

"Yeah, seriously. I used ta' do a bitta dangerous work outside the city 'fore we moved in here. Sometimes I got attacked by lightnin' spirits and they zapped the life outta me—"

"But you're still here!" Ish'kirya objected like their mama was somehow contradicting herself. She chuckled low and shook her head.

"Exactly. I had some souls in th'bank. So I jumped right back up. Your mommy and I are doin' errythin we can to make sure you've got souls in the bank too, Ishy, so don't worry about all'at."

"I've already got souls?"

Oh, she didn't like the tone in their voice.

"Yeah, but — yeah, but you've still gotta be careful. I ain't tellin' ya how much ya got."

"Okay. How's it feel to die, though?"

Aolaani stuttered. "E-Eh, well…"

Ish'kirya kept looking up at her with those planetary eyes, bigger than their whole world. She scratched her cheek, finding herself lost for words for the first time in a long while. She avoided their gaze as she got up off the carpet, signalling the end of secret-sharing time.

"I'll tell ya when yer older, Ishy. Yeah?"

"Mama, I wanna know now."

"I know, but I ain't gonna tell ya now."

"Why not?"

"S'not really worth knowin', ain't it? You're gonna be careful anyways, ain't ya?"

"Yeah, duh."

"Then y'ain't got anythin' to worry about."

"But—"

"Let mama read the news, Ish. Ain't ya got videogames to be playin'?"

Ish meant Ishy was in trouble if they pushed it. She dreaded the day they wouldn't comply. Aolaani felt old, like a battery on its last legs; she wasn't sure whether she'd have the energy for their day-to-day lives alongside a child all grown, with unearned arrogance and teenage gravitas.

"Can I go play at the arcade today? My friends are gonna be there."

"Knock yerself out."

Ish'kirya wasn't going to the arcade today.

Ish'kirya was a flash. They grabbed their jacket, stomped on their light-up sneakers, and were out the door in under a minute. Aolaani sighed a breath of relief, ears deflating against the top of her head. She didn't know when they'd be ready for the gritty details of it, but she wanted to maintain their innocence as long as she could. There was a lot Ish'kirya would need to know about the harsh reality of the world as they grew up, but now? Now was too early. That's all she could say.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

The young shetona came face-to-face with one of the tallest buildings in their district: a ten-story behemoth of a scraper. It didn't go as tall as they did in the Residential District, but it was plenty tall enough.

Ish'kirya had always wanted to climb this thing, like Bix in their class bragged about doing over the break last year. However — loathe as they were to admit it — they kept chickening out at the last second. The building was too tall, they'd get hurt, or worse, die. A forbidden word that their teacher Mrs. Arelre asked them never to say in class.

Now, they were armed with the truth. They had souls to spare. They were never going to die. They were going to live, forever and ever, and nothing was going to stop them from achieving what they needed to. Even if they absolutely beefed it here and cracked their head open, they'd jump right back up and try again. Just like Mama.

And they'd have their own little secret. That they knew what dying was like, even though Mama tried to keep it to herself. That'd show her.

A satisfying 'thunk' fell beneath their feet as they climbed the external ladder to the roof. A few of these and they'd find themselves overwhelmed with nervous thoughts, sliding right back down to the bottom again a mere two fulms up. This time, they found themselves immersed in exploratory thoughts of what a life without death was. What opportunity, how eye-opening — would they never die of old age? Would it just be them, their moms, and their cousins and aunts and uncles and auncles until the end of time? What could they achieve if they had infinity to do it?

They weren't paying much attention to how high they were going. They looked up, not down. They could see distant details of the floor above from their little perch, and the more they craned the neck, the more they could make out the 1's and 0's. How fuzzy things were up here, closer to the electrope ceiling where levin stung in the air—

The next step didn't come.

Ish'kirya tried to lift their leg and found it cramping into place, spasming, then freezing where it failed. It was like a thousand pins and needles in a flurry within their foot, all the way up to their thigh — pinging like marbles between their bones and their skin. They hadn't had their levinsickness flare up in a while, and there it was, the feeling they thought they were rid of. Fear.

They finally looked down— Okay, that was more than two fulms. They couldn't tell where they were exactly. It felt so much higher from up top than it did looking at the scraper from the ground.

They attempted to start moving down, only for their other leg to lock up in a similar fashion. They were hanging onto the ladder with only their upper hand now. Moving them was simultaneously not an option and their only option. Good gods, it was all over.

Their hand shifted a bit, only for their first finger to lock up and go rigid, relinquishing its responsibility off the rung entirely. The thumb gave up too, becoming utterly useless. The other three fingers were under immense pressure, they hurt, and whenever things hurt they were more likely to seize up.

Plink. Two fingers left. The pressure stung, it burned, while everything else felt numb. Their limbs a distant memory.

Plink. One last finger. It was red and raw, searing on the metal. The rest of their body was dead weight. The occasional violent spasm was the only sign they were still alive.

Ish'kirya awoke in their bed, tucked in tightly. Outside of their door was a great, muffled din. They swiveled their ears forward to listen in…

Plink.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"Why did you tell them about that? What did you think they were gonna do, not try it?!"

"Well, excuse me fer tryna educate our fuckin' child when the bullshit school you picked out did absolute jack! I didn't think they were that stupid—"

They tuned out quickly, willing their fighting words into vague murmurs. Yet the thought persisted: educate them on what? What did Mama teach them?

They tried to raise their hand, but it wouldn't move. It was stuck in a spider-y, upsetting position under the cover, which quickly went back on so they wouldn't have to look at it.

That's right.

They died.

Didn't they?

"Mama, Mommy!" Ish'kirya called through the door, and the arguing immediately ceased. Fluorescent light crept through the door, glowing gentle in their dark room before all of the lights turned on. Both were red-ringed because they'd been crying, but the two got mad when their little Ishy pointed it out.

"What's up, kiddo? Everythin' good?" Mama sat at the foot of their bed. Mommy couldn't bring herself to say anything.

"I'm okay. You guys can chill out." Ish'kirya mustered a smile. At least they could move their face. Their mothers weren't quite convinced.

"I'm… glad to hear it, sweetie," said Mommy. "But… you have to be careful in the future, alright? I know what Mama may have said. We still have to be careful."

"It's fine, it's fine! I don't even remember it. Dying."

The forbidden word wracked through them both and shuddered out their respective hisses.

"I mean it," Ish'kirya insisted. "It's just levinsick. I'm a big kid. And I'm allowed to say dying, and dead, and death now. I died, so I'm allowed—"

"Gods..." Mommy fled the room with a sob echoing through the corridor. Mama stood, watching her go…

"I know you can say it, Ish. Mommy can't."

Mama stood up and left. It was just Ish'kirya, alone, unable to follow them. All they could do was stare at the ceiling until their eyelids softened and let them sleep.

[twilightmalachite]

Altered - Angels and Devils 14

Author: Akira

Characters: Rei, Shu, Eichi, Tsumugi

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Ahaha! I’ve been blatantly rejected! I wonder why~? Do they not like me ‘cuz I’m bein’ too annoyin’?"

Season: Spring

Location: Yumenosaki Hallway

⚠️ This is an import from a unproofed Twitter Livetweet!

At the same time, in front of Yumenosaki Academy’s Handicrafts Club room…

Rei: Ah! Hello, Tsumugi~?

It’s me, Sakuma Rei-chan! How’re ya doin’~?

I’m reaaal sorry! I did my best and askin’ all of the Five Eccentrics if they could perform with ya, y’see~?

Most of them completely ignored me, full-stop! Just as I figured~. I’ve never been rejected like this before, so I’m a lil’ bummed!

Ahahaha! I’m happy to finally experience somethin’ new, though! ♪

Shu: ……

Rei: Ah! Hold on a sec! I spotted one of the Five Eccentrics just now! That guy sure holed himself up for a long time~, he wouldn’t even show his face!

Hey~! Itsuki-kun! It’s me, Sakuma Rei, and—

Shu: …Tch…

Rei: Alright! He clicked his tongue and left! Didn’t even hold a conversation with me!

What’s this sign, though? “Five Eccentric, Do Not Enter?”

Ahaha! I’ve been blatantly rejected! I wonder why~? Do they not like me ‘cuz I’m bein’ too annoyin’?

That guy’s an extreme case, but all the other Five Eccentrics are all the same, y’know~? They’re either gettin’ ready for their next play, or some sort of ceremony over at their parent’s house…

They’re all sayin’ no for self-serving reasons, nothin’ I say gets to them at all~♪

The little one of the Five Eccentrics, Sakasaki-kun, was willin’ to hear me out, though—

He started sayin’ things like “I have a bad premonition” while strokin’ a crystal ball or somethin’ like some fortune teller.

He refused to join the performance, sayin’ something like “It’s obviously a trap, so might as well ignore it”.

But I think that even if it is a trap, why not have fun with it?

But I guess Sakasaki-kun’s still a kid, so his pride won’t allow him to get caught up in one.

I think that failure and defeat are necessities though. If anythin’, they’re the beauty of life!

Anyways! Anyone is completely unapproachable! So we can’t join your performance!

Oh, me? Sorry, sorry, actually, I can’t either! Can’t join ya on stage!

I know I spoke bad ’bout the other five Eccentrics, but I got a job to do overseas! Nothin’ I can do ’bout it!

I mostly just do international activities, so local stuff’s less of a priority.

So I can’t refuse if they call me over, well, not that I’d want to.

Sooo yeah, sorry! Basically, none of the Five Eccentrics will be joinin’ your performance!

I mean, that’s fine, right? It’s not like we signed any contracts or anythin’, just a verbal agreement, y’know? Well, I guess that might still be legally binding.

A shame then, not a single one of us cares about those kinds of laws! Ahahahahaha! ☆

Right, right yeah! That’s why I’m sayin’, it’s my bad? I’ll make this up to ya someday!

Mhm mhm, give Tenshouin-kun my regards too!

—It’s just not the right time yet, is all.

Location: Yumenosaki Academy Auditorium (LIVE)

Eichi: ……

Tsumugi: …So, that’s how things turned out…

Eichi: This is unexpected indeed. I really didn’t think that none of the Five Eccentrics would show up.

I had it planned so we’d profit whether we win or lose, but not if there’s not even a match in the first place.

I see, I see, hm… Alright, this changes things…

They, the Five Eccentrics, have easily surpassed my expectations.

I’d thought I knew what I was doing all this time, but I suppose my understanding was poor.

Was I foolish to think I could move them as I wish in the first place, I wonder?

Tsumugi: W-What are we going to do? With all our guests absent, there’s nobody here to participate… Should we continue our debut live as planned?

Eichi: I’m not sure. There’s no reason for it anymore.

Eichi: It may not be profitable, but it’ll count as experience. We’ve already advertised and attracted customers. It’s not smart to overturn something with money and people involved at your own convenience.

Let’s at least try to play the part.

Unlike the Five Eccentrics, who flaked their performance at the last moment for selfish reasons, we, fine, will finish the job properly…

There’s merit in letting the world around you know that you are a proper idol.

With that in mind, let's give it our all.

Unlike God, who has been omnipotent and omniscient since the beginning, our strength lies in our ability to grow through hard work and experience.

← prev | story directory | next →

[dabisbratz]

AGH okay hii there (・・; idk if u remember me, but i was the anon from a while back who asked how you got into impact play and was! really nervous cuz i didn't know if it was my thing, but i wanted to broaden my horizons yk? your reply helped me feel a bit better (thank u btw<3) , but since then i've sorta realized that it's DEF not my thing and i wanted to ask,, do you ever feel bad about not wantin' the rough stuff, if that ever happens? like, do you ever fear that it'd make ur partner/playmate like you any less?

i guess i'm askin' cuz i've been having that problem, and idk what to do about all the pressure to like pain and degradation n stuff :( nd i really look up to you as well!

i know this is a MUCH bigger question than last time, and professional or not, i wouldn't expect ya to give me advice for this kinda thing, so again, i'm hopin' i'm not crossing any boundaries,,, so so sorry if i am, and obvs ignore this msg if that's the case! or maybe i can try sending it off anon later, so u can answer it privately, if that'd make u more comfy? either way, i rlly hope ur havin' a wonderful week, and i'm glad to see that your writing is getting more attention :)

hi bubs !! absolutely do remember you, how could i forget ?! :D v’never been physically sexual with anyone before, but can tell you v’absolutely felt less-than when someone else’s ideas weren’t somethin i was into. t’the point id jus go with it even f’i wasn’t a fan. . which is !! a big nono!! that being said, f’youre with someone who makes ythink you have to fulfill every fantasy they have— darker or not— they’re not the one. n that makes them a terrible, terrible person !! it’s neverever your fault, n it doesn’t n shouldn’t effect how much they love/care about you! you like what you like, n that’s great !! don’t let someone pressure you into doin somethin you don’t wanna do.

n that leads m’to mnext point ! there’s nothin wrong with not bein into pain or degradation or anythin . . . jus intense. cause they’re exactly that, yknow? like . . m’actually not into intense impact play !! i like gettin slapped/spanked but mnot a fan of kickin or punchin or stuff like that.. n the funny thing is, m’only into it if the person doin it is super soft n sweet right after ! anythin you do (with a partner or not!) does not have tbe somethin intense n crazy n rough tbe a good time. what matters s’if you feel good— if they feel good too! n being rough most definitely is not the only way to feel good !!

anywho, yshould definitely talk it through with your partner!! communication is everythin. it’s important t’have boundaries set n placed— respected too. any type of. . play time ! should be guilt free, n it’s much better when everyone’s on the same page!! sorry f’it sounds like mramblin. . there’s so much i wanna say but it’s kinda hard tput into words. . tldr: i do! but we shouldn’t, so it’s important to talk about it t’diminish that feelin of guilt/inferiority !! no need to apologize, sweetpea!! mglad i could help, even if it’s jus a lil bit! <333 n thank you !!!

[gimmethosedaddymilkers]

Arthur x Reader headcannons

Okay this was also requested via an anon reader, so I hope you enjoy it!

This was a request for a reader who has small boobs, how would our boy react??

Imma give you these headcannons so you know!

Let’s go!

Warnings!: Nsfw always a warning lmao, female reader, arthur being fluffy

Tags: @mrsarthurmorgan7 @kieropal @cantchoosejust1 @photo1030​ @6kaja9​

Arthur is a man who drinks his respect women juice

He respects all women unless they start causing issues for him

now a woman can disrespect him, and he isn’t gonna start throwing hands, he’ll still respect them, that’s just who he is

but if a woman wants to start a fight, or draws a gun on him?

Then all respect is thrown out the window

now

keeping that in mind

it means that he also respects women of all shapes and sizes and has no problem being with a woman of any shape, as long as you are healthy and happy

That being said

when you start liking him

you don’t really know all that

I mean

you’re friends with him yes, but the two of you don’t really sit around and talk about the kinds of people you’re into 

So you feel a little self conscious about the fact that you have a bit smaller....chest 

Him on the other hand?

He couldn’t care less

he likes you too

He thinks you are absolutely stunning, gorgeous, literally has an entire journal page that he’s just wrote down words he thinks describes you

though he still feels like he hasn’t found the right one yet to PERFECTLY 

encapsulate the feelings he has for you when he sees you

Even before you two are together he sticks up for you and literally fights anyone who dares make fun of you for having smaller breasts

He literally is like 

“Y’all are grown men, what the fuck are you doin’ sittin’ around makin’ fun of a lady like this? Ain’t you got anythin’ better to do with your time? Go make some goddamn money!”

He likes you so much that he’s on the border of saying he loves you before he even gets with you

and he just has no idea how to go about asking you if you’d like to court him

He feels like he’s just some guy, an outlaw, a bastard

he isn’t exactly worthy of being with you

which isn’t true

yes he does bad things, and yes he’s not exactly the best man

but he is a good man in bad circumstances 

no one is perfect

and he is more than good enough to be with you

he is respectful and kind

and sweet

he just refuses to see those things in himself

So, more than anything you’ll probably have to make the first move

OR don’t

it’ll just take longer for him to come to you

Eventually it kinda slips out 

that you like him

and it’s your fault you admit that

you drank too much and you shouldn’t have

You’re stumbling around camp, singing too loudly, being obnoxious, and him having a sweet spot for you 

obviously he gets up to make sure that you don’t embarrass yourself

he decides to take you to his tent, so you can sleep on a cot rather than the ground

and when he gets you settled into the cot you beg him to stay, drunk and not entirely aware of what you’re saying to him

He melts at that, at the thought that you want him nearby

and then you tell him that he’s so handsome but he’d never like someone like you

not when you don’t have anything to offer him

tell him you’re titless and you wouldn’t blame him if he got his rocks off with someone else, but you want him to know he means so much to you

and Arthur nearly starts crying right then and there

The fact that you think of yourself like that and the fact that you think he doesn’t feel the same for you

He decides not to leave, and instead sits next to the cot all night, leaning his head against it, and holding your hand until you fall asleep

when you wake up the next morning you feel awful when he tells you what you said

which of course he tells you not to

and explains that he likes you the same way, he just never thought someone as beautiful as you could feel the same way for hiim

When he calls you beautiful and sees that absolute shock in your face he realizes that you really don’t believe that about yourself and his heart, or what’s left of it, just shatters

He’ll sit there and he’ll get angry pretty much

He wants to know who made you feel like this, who made you believe that you weren’t beautiful

and then he’ll even bring out his journal, he doesn’t let ANYONE look at that journal, and he’ll show you that page full of words that he thinks of everytime he looks at you

He just wants you to see yourself the way he sees you

He tells you he doesn’t give a shit if you have huge boobs or not

first off

any boob, no matter what size, is gonna get a man riled up, if he’s into women

second off

he’s more of an ass man anyway, and even small asses are good asses

he’s more interested in who you are as a person anyhow, and yes, some physical attraction is needed to have a successful relationship, but that’s okay

because as I’ve mentioned

he thinks you’re stunning

he thinks you’re beautiful 

and he thinks about screwing you until the cows come home all the damn time

He just had no clue how to properly tell you or explain that without being a creep

He’s gonna keep telling you these kinds of things until he’s completely sure that you feel better about yourself

and if you don’t

he’ll start to get frustrated

and not at you by any means at all

but at himself

because he just can’t word things the proper way

he can’t get words out the right way to make you feel the way he wants you to feel

so he’ll get angry and just grab you by the neck and pull you close enough to slam his lips against yours

He just wants you to feel the way he feels

That kiss 

is just 

fantastic

he is literally so passionate about it, that it truly makes you realize that he’s not just saying all this to make you feel better, he genuinely feels for you

you know then that he means what hes saying

So you do your best not to feel the way you do, for him

and you also ask him if you could court, because after that kiss the idea of not having anymore with him makes you genuinely kinda upset

Of course he tells you yes

and from there things just go

He loves you so much

and he knows that

he hasn’t told you that yet because like you just got together

and like

he doesnt want to scare you off

but

he still sticks up for you at every opportunity

every time that someone makes fun of you

he literally gets so close to decking them in the face

sometimes

if its someone he really doesn’t like

he likes to attempt to make them uncomfortable

by just literally looking them in the eye and then spinning you around and kissing you deeply

He literally loves you so deeply

He wants to be as close as possible to you at all times and he wants to constantly kiss you 

literally always

and on the moments that you do have bad thoughts

because lets be honest

no one is perfect

and no one has completely perfect days 

everyone has their moments

when you have yours he will ALWAYS, and I mean ALWAYS be there to reassure you that he cares about you and that he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman in camp

in the world

after you’ve been together for a while 

for like 

quite a while

he’s starting to get tired of you being so upset

and not because he’s tired of you

more like

he’s tired of him not being able to convince you

so when he feels like it’s been long enough that it’s not gonna be weird for the two of you

he starts to threaten you, but like

the sexy kind of threaten

he threatens you with

sex

If you start to feel down about yourself he’ll talk to you about it of course, he gets the anxiety, and the insecurities, he has them himself, so he’s gonna be kind about it

he’s gonna try to make you see reason, and understand how much he cares for you

but eventually, if he can’t get you to understand, he gets mad that he can’t convince you

(Again, not at you, at himself)

And he’ll simply kiss your shoulder, and then your neck, he’ll stop at that spot right where your jaw meets your ear, and a hand will crawl up your thigh while the other snakes around your neck

He’ll place his lips against your ear

and mutter the foulest 

things he can think of

things that would make a nun smack him

things like

“Princess, if I can’t convince you that I think you’re beautiful with words, maybe you should take that shirt off and let me try that way.”

Or he’ll like

say something along the lines of

“Darlin’ if you don’t listen to me, I’m gonna have to start demonstrain’ and I ain’t sure that camp can handle all that noise right now.” 

Sometimes

he won’t even say all that shit

he’ll just huff and then kiss you deeply while his hand finds its way under your shirt

Other times he’ll show how much you rile him up by simply pulling you into his lap 

you’ll feel his hardness and he’ll wait for you to shift your weight, which makes him suck in through his teeth

and then he’ll mutter in your ear that it’s all because of you

you did that to him

And this does bring up your confidence a lot

I mean him talking to you does too

but these things

the fact that he genuinely thinks about you like that

the fact that he gets worked up by you

it just does things to you

it would do things to anyone who had a brain lmao

It’s not only sexual things though

he loves to bring you little gifts and leave you notes from his journal too

he wants you to know how much he genuinely feels for you

and refuses to let you get too upset

He knows you have your down moments

but he also knows that it’s okay to have those

He is always supportive of you, and always patient when you think that you feel inadequate

He is literally perfect in all facets of everything

but 

back to the sex

because im a horny bastard

he’s very old fashioned

and he loves facing you when the two of you are intimate 

he loves the faces you make

and he loves to make you realize that he loves your body

he takes his time to make sure that he spends plenty of time on your breasts

to make sure you know that he loves them 

he kisses them

licks them

sucks them

he loves them

he loves your ass 

he loves all of you

literally

ALL of you

It just the way of the arthur

He also likes to remind you

even if you aren’t feeling down

how you make him feel

he just

RESPECT WOMEN JUICE GODDAMNIT

[askyeehan]

How did y’all end up together? Mind tellin the story?

Cole: How me and Hanzo got together. I could sit here all day and talk about every single twist and turn, 'cause there were plenty of 'em. It might surprise ya to know Hanzo and I didn't actually get along at first. Not that we hated each other or anythin' like that. But the first time I even heard about Hanzo was from his brother.

It's hard to not be biased in such a complicated situation. Lots of people thought poorly of Hanzo and what he did, but seein' my own background, I was willin' to give him a chance. The more I slowly heard and gathered about how he grew up….it made me sick, to be honest. He deserved better than what those monsters….

Cole shakes his head, pushing the thoughts away.

Anyway, back to us. Our first mission together was a mess. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was definitely more focused on tryin' to show off and impress Hanzo that I got hurt pretty bad. Obviously I'm still alive, of course! Takes a lot to keep me down, that's for sure. He did visit me in the infirmary, which took everyone by surprise.

It was incredibly difficult getting him to socialize with much of anyone. Even all this time later, he doesn't talk to many people, at least not the way he does when I'm around. He's slowly getting better, with more and more gentle nudges.

Part of the reason I'm doin' all this is to hopefully get him out of his comfort zone a bit and be more adventurous. There's so much more to be said about those twists and turns I mentioned, I'll definitely be talkin' about them in depth in the future.

[kitakami-zorua-kin]

🎤 - An audio transcript from a recording

-Audio Recording Enabled, bzzt!- “An’ I jus- I’m so tired, Super, I’m s’ fuckin’ tired of not bein’ ‘nough. I wish I was a Zorua, m’ybe then everythin’ would b’ better, l’fe would b’ easier an’ I’d be able t’ b’ happy an’ – an’  ‘m so fuckin’ sick of wishin’ I was anyone else an’ I wouldn’t wish this life ‘n anyone else, I don’ – I don’ wanna die but sometimes I wish this was like every other universe an’ Kiki an’ Carmine didn’ h’ve a third siblin’ at all, an’ I can’t think of anythin’ I’ve improved except maybe th’ Noibat c’l’ny an’ I just – I wish I was ‘s happy ‘s I pret’nd t’ b’, I wish I was lighthearted an’ silly an’ cheery an’ I’m not an’ I hate that I’m not, I hate that ‘m a liar, I wish I wasn’ everythin’ that I am, I wish I didn’ care so much ‘t makes me sick I wish I didn’ feel s’ stupidly guilty about everythin’, I wish – I wish I could stop carin’ I wish I could stop, I wish I could hate th’ people that hurt me but all I can think is that m’ybe they were right, m’ybe Car’ never shoulda stepped in m’ybe they never shoulda fished me outta th’ ocean t’ begin with maybe everythin’ would be better an’ I wouldn’ hafta deal with the lights an’ the sounds an’ – an’ everythin’ I’ve ever cared about fallin’ apart aroun’ me an’ – an’ I don’ know what ‘m doin’ wrong, ‘m tryin’, ‘m tryin’ s’ hard, why aren’t I ‘nough t’ fix things, why is m’ best never ‘nough for nothin’ why did ‘t hafta t’ b’ me, Super, I don’ wan’ any ‘f this, I wanna g’ home, I wanna have people that care an’ – an’ don’ lie t’ me, I wish m’ siblin’s cared an’ it hurts that I cared – care – s’ much an’ they didn’ care at all- an’ – an’ it’s not fair but I don’ wanna tell anyone ‘cause I feel selfish an’ sick with guilt f’r even feelin’ this an’ I feel s’ stupid an’ used an’ I jus’ – I hate it, Super, I hate it s’ much an’ ‘m sorry ‘cause I don’ wanna dump this on ya but ‘t’s eatin’ m’ alive an’ I ain’t got anyone else t’ tell ‘cause I can’ just keep dumpin’ everythin’ on Ange an’ ‘Roki ‘cause that’s just what everyone else did t’ me an’ I kinda hate them all f’r ‘t, an’ I don’ wanna do that t’ anyone an’ they both mean s’ much t’ me an’ I care s’ much ‘bout them so fast ‘t scares me an’ – an’ I jus’ – I don’ know wha’ t’ do anymore, ‘m scared an’ I keep cryin’ an’ I wish I could turn the carin’ off ‘cause it just keeps gettin’ me hurt-“

//OOC, Non-Accented Version: And I just – I’m so tired, Super (Superconduct), I’m so fucking tired of not being enough. I wish I was a Zorua, maybe then everything would be better, life would be easier and I’d be able to be happy and – and I’m so fucking sick of wishing I was anyone else and I wouldn’t wish this life on anyone else, I don’t – I don’t want to die but sometimes I wish this was like every other universe and Kiki and Carmine didn’t have a third sibling at all, and I can’t think of anything that I’ve improved except maybe the Noibat colony and I just – I wish I was as happy as I pretend to be, I wish I was lighthearted and silly and cheery and I’m not and I hate that I’m not, I hate that I’m a liar, I wish I wasn’t everything that I am, I wish I didn’t care so much it makes me sick I wish I didn’t feel so stupidly guilty about everything, I wish – I wish I could stop caring I wish I could stop, I wish I could hate the people that hurt me but all I can think is that maybe they were right, maybe Car (Carmine) never should’ve stepped in maybe they never should’ve fished me out of the ocean to begin with maybe everything would be better and I wouldn’t have to deal with the lights and the sounds and – and everything I’ve ever cared about falling apart around me and – and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I’m trying, I’m trying so hard, why aren’t I enough to fix things, why is my best never enough for nothing why did it have to be me, Super, I don’t want any of this, I want to go home, I want to have people that care and – and don’t lie to me, I wish my siblings cared and it hurts that I cared – care – so much and they didn’t care at all and – and it’s not fair but I don’t want to tell anyone because I feel selfish and sick with guilt for even feeling this and I feel so stupid and used and I just – I hate it, Super, I hate it so much and I’m sorry because I don’t want to dump this on you but it’s eating me alive and I ain’t got anyone else to tell because I can’t just keep dumping everything on Ange and Hiroki because that’s just what everyone else did to me and I kind of hate them all for it, and I don’t want to do that to anyone and they both mean so much to me and I care so much about them so fast it scares me and – and I just – I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m scared and I keep crying and I wish I could turn the caring off because it just keeps getting me hurt-

[toujokaname]

HiMERU Idol Story 2

Author: Akira

Characters: HiMERU, Kohaku

"(Let's get properly involved with the world, "HiMERU".)"

← Previous ✧ Directory ✧ Next →

Season: Summer

Location: Seisoukan Common Room

HiMERU: ~...♪

Kohaku: Mm? O~i, HiMERU-han, what're ya doin' this late at night?

HiMERU: —Oh? HiMERU could say the same to you. Are you out on a walk at such a late hour... Oukawa?

Kohaku: Koh koh koh ♪ I'm jus' happy I'm able to walk 'round freely.

Also, when I was at home, I got used to stayin' up late, so sleep don't come to me easy at this time of night.

I keep thinkin' "I oughta go to bed early," but I can't.

That bein' said. If we both don't go to bed soon, it'll have an effect on tomorrow, 'cos human beings can only recover through sleep.

HiMERU: —Is that so. HiMERU's view differs from that, and Shiina, for example, would most certainly hold a different opinion.

Kohaku: Yeah. That moron's a special case in that he can't recover from anythin' that ain't food.

As we spend more and more time together, I've unavoidably learned that he's like a single-celled organism that'll put anythin' and everythin' in his mouth.

He's eatin' all the time. I lose my appetite jus' by lookin' at 'im.

HiMERU: —Fufu. Shiina would surely be unhappy about that, since he seems to love serving food to others.

Kohaku: For real. That guy's like, his whole life's centered 'round his stomach.

HiMERU: Fufu. To HiMERU, that is an enviable thing, to have something so irreplaceable—things like that.

Aah, what does the world look like to such a person?

—Anyhow. To answer your first question, as you can see... HiMERU is writing a reply to a fan letter he received.

Kohaku: Fan retaa[1]?

HiMERU: Yes. HiMERU takes pride in his long career history and is a popular idol in his own right.

Letters from fans arrive in boxes, and all of them are piled up here.

Kohaku: Oh? Really, all of these?

Haah... I can't help but sigh. I'm still unfamiliar with idol culture, so this's new to me, y'know?

It's real impressive that they're all handwritten, even in this age of the Internet, ain't it?

HiMERU: Yes. HiMERU is very grateful for it. Even then, these don't include those that were slanderous in nature. The agency censored and removed those.

Kohaku: Huhh~... And despite that, there's still these many left. HiMERU-han must be a real popular guy, huh?

HiMERU: Rather than it being a result of his popularity, HiMERU is one of the rare types of celebrities who reply to letters. His fans are likely to know this, and thus, they send him more and more.

Anyone would be happy to receive a reply to their letter, after all.

Kohaku: ...That's right. Communication's only possible when you speak or write and get a proper response.

To communicate with someone can be a pleasure hard to come by. Screamin' into the abyss will only hurt yer throat, and nothin' worthwhile's gonna come of it.

HiMERU: —Oh dear. Oukawa, you look a little hurt. Apologies, did HiMERU unknowingly tread on a sensitive topic for you?

Kohaku: Hm. It ain't good to be too sharp, HiMERU-han.

...No need to worry 'bout it, I'm fine. I was jus' thinkin' 'bout an old pen pal of mine.

Hm. Even though I thought I'd come to terms with it and forgotten 'bout it, the wounds in my heart'll remain unhealed and hurt forever.

Oh, well. Sorry I called out to ya while you were workin', HiMERU-han.

I'm goin' back to my room to rest. When it comes to yer letter writing... there ain't anything I can do to help ya, anyway.

HiMERU: Indeed. The senders of the letters, the fans, would most certainly want to receive a reply from their favorite idol written by the person in question.

HiMERU cannot ask someone to write on his behalf, so even if he gets tendonitis, he will have to write them all by himself.

Kohaku: Hmm, "the person in question", huh...?

HiMERU: —What is it?

Kohaku: Nothin'. If you've convinced yourself of that, then I've nothing to say. ...Jus' be careful not to break yer body or mind by overdoin' it, HiMERU-han.

HiMERU: —Yes. Thank you for your concern, Oukawa.

Goodnight, have a pleasant sleep ♪

Kohaku: Koh koh koh ♪ ...Though that surprise attack was meant to shake ya up, you didn't even tremble a lil while you were writin'. I gotta praise ya for that.

You've got a calm face and guts, I'm glad I can rely on ya as a unitmate.

Welp. For real now... G'night, HiMERU-han ♪

~...♪

HiMERU: (...Hm. It looks like he's gone. That made me break out in a bit of a cold sweat.)

(It's the same for you. You have a cute face, but I should never be too careless around you... Oukawa Kohaku.)

("Oukawa". I've heard rumors that they have a family history of single-handedly taking care of dirty work...)

(Sure enough, the more someone wants to hide something, the more likely it is for it to reach their ears.)

(But. Even if you heard about the secret that "I'm" carrying, you should've pretended to be unaware of it.)

(And yet, just now, you deliberately gave me a warning, as if to say, "I know"—why?)

(Maybe you were so sleepy that you slipped up, or maybe you didn't mean anything by it...)

(Was it a threat, or a sign of trust as a colleague? I don't know. There's not enough material to speculate, either.)

(Aah, it's really... interesting. Communication, that is.)

(That which is called life! Overflowing with pleasant discoveries and emotions, the most valuable treasure room in this world!)

HiMERU: (—So. "You". You can't keep averting your eyes and pretending you don't see it... Let's get properly involved with the world, "HiMERU".)

Kohaku repeats this in hiragana, indicating his unfamiliarity with the term.

In his inner monologue at the end, you can notice I didn't make HiMERU talk in third person. The reason why is that in most of his dialogue, he actually omits personal pronouns entirely. In those cases, translators default to making him speak in third person. However, given the context of what he's saying, I felt it appropriate to make him use first-person pronouns. In the Japanese script, he only uses "ore" once, where it's in quotation marks.

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[aeoki]

Seven Bridges - Love and Peace?: Chapter 4

Location: Yumenosaki Garden Terrace Characters: Mika

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ< A memory. The first year ES was established, early May. >

Mika: Hmm, so that’s what the “producer course” is like.

Anzu-chan, yer so strong. I wouldn’t be able to put up with it if it was me.

Yeah, the “producer course” only started actually becomin’ a thing this year, huh. All the other students are new students this year.

In terms of position, yer the only “third-year”, Anzu-chan, but you can’t take classes by yerself, so you’ve been put with the students in the lower grade, right?

That’s gotta be awkward… Yer the only one who’s different so yer bound to feel like you don’t belong.

If I was in yer shoes, I don’t think I’d wanna go to school anymore. It feels like yer the only one who’s redoin’ the year.

Huh? That’s the same as last year? If anythin’, it’s better than being the only girl in a sea of boys?

Yeah, I guess that’s true. There were only “male idols” around you last year, but you had to take the same classes as them despite being the sole “female producer”.

Compared to that, would it be better now that yer surrounded by other “producers” instead? They’re all people who’re in the same group and position as you.

If you look at it normally, things were just weird last year. Why did they only make you transfer to a school that’s basically all boys?

Ngh~ You don’t really know anythin’ about that either, huh. Well, this is Yumenosaki after all – Maybe someone’s plottin’ somethin’.

Oh well. In hindsight, it looks like yer days are youthful and fulfillin’.

Ehehe. I figured I could lend an ear if you wanted to complain and vent yer stress, so I came over to chat while I was doing my “school job”, but I guess it was needless worry.

Anzu-chan, you’ve got such a great look on your face…♪

Ngh~? Yer happy ‘cause you finally got to learn about the basics of the producer industry in the “producer course”?

Yeah, you were suddenly thrown into the deep end last year, huh…

That’s gotta be a pretty valuable experience since you’ve only had the theory after all those classes, but you couldn’t put it into practice and stuff.

Like the swimmin’ on top of tatami mats proverb, you ask?

Yeah, that ♪

Hehe. Maybe the “idol course” started learnin’ from CosPro, but there are a lot more classes on “idol studies” now.

To be honest, I don’t know if it’ll actually be useful in our idol activities though.

In fact, I think one can gain a lot more if they just went out there and did their idol activities.

ES has all the things set up for anyone to do that, after all.

Hmm. That’s what everyone’s thinkin’, huh. There are a lot of people doing their idol activities at ES.

I see. It’s ‘cause as long as it’s not a project started by ES, they can’t gain a reward – in other words, “L$” – through the dreamfests that are only limited to the school?

It’d just be like doing any other work, huh. There’s a restriction on who can come see the dreamfests too, so even if you do your best, it’s hard to estimate how many of your fans will be there.

But even so, thanks to “Trickstar’s” revolution, it looks like most of the second and third-year students are actively taking part in dreamfests.

I’m not trying to criticise anyone but it’s only natural that the new students wouldn’t know about “Trickstar’s” revolution.

That’s why the new students – the young ones – would naturally prioritise ES over Yumenosaki.

I see, that’s what the young kids are like, huh… That’s useful knowledge.

Hehe. The more young people there are around me, the more outdated and anxious I feel.

That’s why it’s probably more shameless and painful to force myself to follow what they’re doin’.

No matter how the things around us change, we’ll continue to run down our own path at full speed — That’s what “Valkyrie” is all about.

It’ll be better for us to go after what makes us us rather than carin’ about what the people ‘round us are doin’.

Oh no… I was plannin’ on listenin’ to yer complaints, but we ended up doin’ the exact opposite.

Ngh~ That’s what a “producer” does? That’s true but…

I feel pretty bad since it feels like we idols are always on the receivin’ end.

Producers and other staff members all support the idol. Even if it’s somethin’ obvious…

Who would be there for you if yer goin’ through a hard time, Anzu-chan?

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