#irl it’s definitely easier
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Wait maybe this is a stupid question but do you guys like… recognize my art when you see it on your dashboard? Is it recognizable? Do some of you go “that’s abisalli/fee’s art” ?? does that happen??
#fee rambles#am I actually being perceived on the internet? impossible#ok but jokes aside#i have legitimately no idea how people on the internet perceive me or my art#of course I do HOPE that I make a lasting impression but it’s kinda hard to tell#irl it’s definitely easier#ok enough rambling#probably will delete later
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ANGELA/SERA FROM THE MARVEL SNAP HERO ANIMATIC
#eep babies first gif#definitely... could be better#i ended up having a lot of issues doing it the way i wanted to in my head and so. had to work around it the only ways i could figure#and also making tumblrs size & dimension limits was. harder than i thought! kinda. compressed to hell#idk. i think i can do better but this is what i ended up with#also i know this has been giffed already but i thought messing w animation was a bit easier than irl images#low stakes also bc none of my friends care about this either#nyxtalks#angela#angela odinsdottir#sera#sera of heven#serangela#angelsera#angela x sera#marvel#marvel snap#gif#one of the things i was having issues was was framerate? like i could not get it to cooperate at all#i couldnt figure how to make it faster as i saved it and then when i tried to edit it in post speeding it up even 1% made it way too fast?#but it was stuttery without change. so im gonna have to mess around more with that#idk! still much to mess with#will be a long time before the GB edit happens at this rate lol#i think maybe im somewhat getting the hang of the bare basics though#if you read this far friends i love uuuuuu#i assume only my dear mutuals would actually read the tags#sorry for there being so many. i had commentary
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ngl interacting with others (mainly mutuals) on tumblr is like healing my social anxiety so thank you guys 🫶
#idk 😭 it’s definitely easier than talking to people irl but still!!#i’m getting more confident in my abilities to talk to others yk#porcelainposting
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Literally spiraling into a crisis over not knowing how to text like a human being
#Guy at my job just texted me that his mother has passed away and I have no idea how to respond in a normal and adequate way#Kind of complicated because it partly functions as a status update on whether he will be coming to work but obviously I want to#express condolence in some capacity. Because that is the thing to do and I care about him as a person and that situation sucks.#But we also aren't like 'friends' we're work acquaintances and I'm technically his boss. We mostly interact like peers#(like. I've bought weed from him if that says anything) and it's not a literal boss situation but technically. That's a factor.#I think this scenario is at least a little awkward for everyone but low empathy DEFINITELY isn't making this easier#Sitting here having visions of '👍' flash through my brain and physically cringing#THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH EASIER IRL I COULD JUST SAY 'OKAY' BUT WITH LIKE. DEEPLY SYMPATHETIC BODY LANGUGAE AND TONE
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Still thinking about the early days of QSMP where Fit would visit Vegetta just to say hi and was completely oblivious to the fact that Vegetta was flirting with him a large majority of the time.
#i talk#qsmp talk#Can't remember the date but specifically thinking about that one VOD where he's showing Fit around his castle garden#then Vegetta is like ''wait here for a moment! :)'' and Fit goes ''Ok! :D''#then Vegetta goes inside; strips; puts on his Casualonas outfit; and then goes back outside to greet Fit#and Fit's just like ''oh cool! :D''#Like he definitely picked up on some of the flirting but other times he was just respectfully like ''oh that's neat!''#Once when the QSMP was down Vegetta was talking to Willy (? pretty sure it was Willy)#and started ranking how hot all the QSMP men are#and he said IRL Fit is probably the guy he'd go for most / the one he considers the hottest but he was hotter with his beard#wild#What I wouldn't give to have a full transcript of that conversation#anyways if I find the VOD I'm talking about in my files (and if it isn't too long) maybe I can clip it#but no promises#I wish there was an easier way to download youtube clips
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im gonna go off on one in the tags pls enjoy
#ive been going by jay online since i was 13 irl since i was 15/16 and my mum cant get used to it#me my friend and both our mums hung out last week and i heard my mum telling his mum 'i just cant get used to [their] name. they want to be#called /jay/ but i just cant do it' literally everyone else including my brother and my dad uses my chosen name#apart from when theyre around my mother! because her force of disgust is definitely more important than my agency and want to be called by#my own name... i have been thinking about wanting to be called another name like. interchangably with my name#and i think id go with yasha. its the diminutive of jay so like. if we friends i want to be yasha x#but also realising how much i want to have autonomy over my name came from picking a name in 2021 for practise in chinese#and my friend helping me decide between something that sounds similar (林植 cos the first character kinda sounds like my eng surname) and a#more literal translation where i was like the translation of jay is 松鸦 i could use that haha and she went but the 鸦 character is awful#you could be 松雅! its then a pun and makes me sound fancy. and i was so happy just making choices and getting to like#pick my own name that peoplw could use. really a revelation. anyway i was kinda on hold for a bit living at home but now im freer hearing#her go on that 'jays choice of name is so hard on me' rant really made me..... start thinking and reminiscing about my name. and me. u know#jay wasnt even my choice its just my initials that i started going by as like. plausible deniability that i wanted to change my name#i remember thinking more about it when i was younger and deciding against other names Specifically because it would be easier to go#'its just my initials!' yeah. im 25 is it too late to change names#sorry for long rambly disjointed rant. hope this was enlightening if u made it this far
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Well...it's been a good run for...every ship left involving a woman in this poll. o7
#or more than one woman. you know what I mean.#(except for the one f/f versus f/f poll so we do at least have ONE guaranteed ship moving forward)#like. I know this is NOT a big deal (& I'll definitely forget about it once it's over) but I just...DO so tire of how guy-focused fandom is#then you try to complain about this and people accuse you of gender essentialist bullshit#which is ALSO exhausting#like I do genuinely like hanging out in my little niches with a handful of like-minded people but it does get...lonely I guess? sometimes?#you know that the things you create will be seen as inherently less valuable. you know that even in the Weird Interest™ Spaces you are#still seen as weird. you still don't fit in. the characters like you are discarded/ignored/disproportionately hated the way you are in real#life and it's rooted in a lot of the same ideas. like obviously I'd take THIS over misogynistic shit that actually happened to me but it#certainly doesn't make dealing with the reality of misogyny any EASIER#'I focus on men to escape irl misogyny/creator misogyny' I feel like actively ignoring women is also misogyny. actually.#whatever. nothing is new ever lmao.#In the Vents#at least The Major Evil has been defeated. I CAN at least sleep easy over that one.
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May has a Tumblr
May has had a Tumblr they've been active on this entire fucking time I've been blogging about them I'm-
The likelihood of them ever seeing anything I've posted is very slim, as far as I can tell, they mostly just use Tumblr for the art portion and since I don't post art I don't think they've seen any of my posts
But May has a fucking Tumblr I'm--
I thought one of my posts would have to break containment in order for them to accidentally see it but IT TURNS OUT THEY'VE BEEN ON THIS GODFORSAKEN HELLSITE THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME I SCROLLED THROUGH THEIR BLOG AND WAS ONE CLICK AWAY FROM OUTING MY BLOG IM GOING TO CRY
#panda posts#may#panda pines#to be totally honest part of me thinks that may could read through my entire blog and still not understand that they are may#(because may is not their real name it's a name i made up for them because idk how they feel about having their name shared on the internet)#(and also makes it easier to hide who im talking about in case anyone irl is looking over my shoulder)#but unfortunately may is too smart for that and would definitely realize that they are may if they scrolled through my blog#hnnnng#anyways time to go stalk their tumblr account to see if i can learn anything about them
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Remember that even some compensatory mechanisms, ie. not eating or getting less sleep to study longer, can also disrupt/skew our progress. Even those two things alone interact with each other and can have more negative effects than we realize. I know that it’s not easy, but you deserve to get rest and eat something wholesome. In the grand scheme of things, a few slip-ups aren’t going to hinder our progress much at all. Please remember to give yourself grace. If you wouldn’t want a friend doing it, then maybe reconsider. I hope this didn’t come across as preachy, just wanted to give my two cents. I’m struggling with similar things, so I get it. Take care
hey this didn’t come off as preachy at all i do appreciate it :) i think ur right and it all comes down to giving ourselves grace I definitely want to try to apply that more in my life
#askbox#take care of urself too anon!!!!!#this is ofc in theory much easier than irl but I will definitely try
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Hello hi yeah I'm driving to and from the Joker Out concert tomorrow with a girl I met at uni because she was talking about JO after I'd never talked to her before, only saw her and her friends 💫 we'll not be at the concert together because she'll be at the front with a friend but I'm really happy I won't have to drive home alone in the quiet like usual, or sprint to a flixbus like usual and then sit there in the quiet alone 🥳
#post concert drop is real unfortunately and with all the bs i've had going on recently and them playing vse kar vem i'd definitely get#big sad at some point if i sat alone in the quiet#and it will be nice to fangirl a bit with someone irl 🥰#watch me make a friend finally after many years at uni and it will be because for once i wasn't wearing#headphones in the breakroom when i was trying to work#anyway hehe 🥳🥰#also it makes getting there and back easier since the trains there aren't running tomorrow because of the snow lol#and flixbus can be a hit or a miss and i'm tending towards miss with the weather rn#mine
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the relationship you have with your irl friends just always slaps me in the face because then i realize I'm closer to my tumblr mutuals then my friends who i see on a somewhat regular basis
bro, ray, let me tell you not all friendships are like what i have with my irl friends 😂. we’ve just reached a point of knowing each other for so long, and genuinely loving one another, where there are very little boundaries 😎
#but also it is okay if your friendships aren’t all like this! I definitely have friends where we don’t share#in the same way but i still care for them a great deal#just my core group. we are just too far beyond that for any level of normalacy to exist 😂#also it can be a lot easier to feel at ease online versus irl. so it can be easier to open up/say things you might now feel comfortable#saying irl. y’know?
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@tenebriism / shadow // text starters !
[ text ; shadow ☄️⚡] ive got a fishing rod now, and I’m going to help
[ text ; shadow ☄️⚡] big taught me everything he knows there isssn [ text ; shadow ☄️⚡] *no way this can go wrong
#⸨ * IC ⸩ — what you see is what you get. just a hedgehog that loves adventure .#tenebriism#tenebriism / shadow#(local hero is having a crisis and trying to fish except fishing in a sim is a lot easier than irl)#(call help)#(also assume that this is a wrong he was definitely annoying knuckles)#(*wrong number)
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i definitely come off cooler online because i can actually Communicate so there's that
also impressive vision you got there :v
No see results option, I'm forcing you to perceive yourself. rb for more results plus
#there's literally two people i know on tumblr who have also seen me irl and that's V and my sibling so#they might be biased by it being a lot easier to communicate with them than most people but even then i still have the whole#the stutter the getting stuck on words the being wobbly everything so. online that can be hidden#i still don't think i come off as cool on either but definitely cooler online :v
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i think maybe i’m only attracted to amab people (influence from kevin rn so maybe it’s just him) but i can’t think of a way to label that without it being. questionable
#it’s not a genital preference i think#and i’m very demisexual/romantic#maybe it’s just coincidence ??#i find myself being attracted to trans amab people more than cis men#i think when it comes to men i’m very demi- but with other people i can find them attractive and trust them a lot easier#both irl and online#so many of the employees at microcenter are transfem and every time jm there imlike uhhrhdjdj but men scare me#the only men i’m attracted to is my partners coworker a little bit (he also kind of scares me) and sheep who is most definitely not cis but#hasn’t realised it yet#idk man#wagoo wagoo
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think im gonna take another social media break just because it is starting to stress me the hell out & i would like to spiral Less
#something something this is definitely not helping my high blood pressure#also as much as i hate mental illness symptoms wow are they easier to deal with than other human beings#in short also a lot is going on irl and unrelated to that i am getting triggered like. near daily.
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ough ive developed a sort of anxiety at leaving the house this summer... going back to school will definitely do me some good on that lol.
travelling abroad also helped it from getting worse at least.
still super anxious for my driving lesson tomorrow...... oughhhhh
#rambles#last summer i had a boyfriend to meet etc which made it easier. but generally i dont have many irl people to hang out with?#so because i dont have much reason to go to the city or something i just end up being useless hahaaaa#ill definitely have to learn to manage this once i start living alone#i dont want to become a shut in#another issue that ive come across is that im no longer as mentally ill. which is great! but also there were a lot of like...#defense mechanisms? against anxiety within the mental illness. so now that i cant lie to myself and am more in touch with reality#it comes with the struggles of being in touch with reality while having no other safe guards helping me deal with the OTHER mental illness#called social anxiety akngksngksga#yippee!! im doing fine though i think all things considered#despite my current struggles im proud of how far ive come#definitely have been some drawbacks but its okay
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