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i-still-mask-because · 1 year ago

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in the wake of all this new information during COVID, do you feel that maybe we should all just be masking all the time, COVID of no COVID? I mean it can't be the only airborne disease out there and immunocompromised ppl have always and will always exist so like. Following that thinking even if we don't have COVID we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right? Idk I'm stressing a lot about this do I just need to wear a mask outside forever cos. Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues and stuff but. I don't wanna?? Kill people by accident??? Aaaaa

Hello, thanks for reaching out about this.

I saw this ask about a month ago, and I needed time to think about how I'd respond to it (so I want to thank you for the patience!).

I'll try to answer all of this to the best of my ability, and I thought I'd answer this by going backwards (responding to the last things you said and then moving up with responding to the first things you said).

Everything is below the cut because this is very long!

First I'll try to summarize what I think you're asking here:

"Vulnerable people exist in this world all around me, therefore does this mean I'm constantly posing a threat to those vulnerable people's safety when I don't mask? The thought of this brings me feelings of stress, fear, and anxiety."

I find this is hard to answer candidly without risking stressing out you or anyone else who's aware of the consequences of their choice not to mask. Nonetheless, my honest answer is: yes, choosing not to mask means risking the lives and safety of vulnerable people, i.e. the disabled, immunocompromised, elderly, children & babies, and those that intersect those groups. That risk can take place directly (such as interacting with an immunocompromised elder) or indirectly (such as interacting with the parent of a disabled child).

I also want to add that it's not only those groups that need protecting. I firmly believe that regardless of your age and/or whether or not you self-identify as disabled or immunocompromised that everyone is at risk of the long-term consequences of this rapidly mutating, vascular, and immunosuppressive virus. No one is invincible to this, and I'll add: not even if you're vaccinated (still get vaccinated if you can, but know that you can still catch covid & develop long covid regardless of your vaccination status).

1. "Masks mess with my breathing and sensory issues."

I understand how that can be difficult to deal with, trust me. There are specific masks (such as most standard KN95s) that irritate the hell out of my face after a certain point. The way those specific masks brush against the hairs of my cheeks just make me want to rip the mask off my face completely. Finding alternatives has been a lifesaver, and they've allowed me to get through the day without wanting to maul someone lol. I don't know what masks you have tried out already, so I'll just recommend the one's I like as well as the one's I've heard good reviews on from people that also have sensory issues:

NIOSH 3m Aura N95 Respirators

Flo Mask

GATA Mask (Haven't tried this one yet, but I've heard a LOT of people say this has been a game changer for them because of how comfortable it is & how it doesn't trigger much sensory issues at all due to its silicone material. Probably the only con I've heard is the chance of the build up of moisture in the mask after a long period of use & water possibly dripping on your face— this happens to me sometimes with my Flo Mask. Edit on Sept. 26, 2023: I tried GATA Mask, and I personally have a tough time getting a comfortable fit & seal with it, even when getting the small/medium size for adults to see if it'll make a difference, and the nose bridge shape not fitting well for me is a huge con. Customer service is just suggesting I spend more, so I'll just give this one a break, for now at least. A lot of other people seem to like it though.)

Halyard FLUIDSHIELD [ASTM Level 3] Mask (My mom works in a hospital, and these are masks she brings home from work. They're VERY comfortable for me, especially when I'm masking at home. I recommend finding a way to tighten the loops that go around your ears to prevent as much gaps around the mask as possible. If tight loops hurt your ears easily, I recommend a mask brace.)

O2 Nose Filters (I haven't tried these out yet as well, but I've seen videos demonstrating how effective these are at filtering out SOOO many unseen particles. I don't recommend using these alone of course, because there's still a risk of inhaling harmful aerosols through your mouth. I would recommend using this as a reinforcement of the protective measures you take. For example: adding on a comfortable surgical mask— ideally one with a high filtration efficiency like the previous suggestion— with the nose filters. I think these nose filters would be great if you're removing your mask real quick to take a sip of water or if you're outdoors with enough distance from crowded areas & groups.)

In the ideal world, more people would mask during this on-going pandemic so those that deal with sensory issues and/or those that straight-up can't wear a mask due to medical reasons wouldn't have to worry so much about choosing between existing & risking their health. For now, we just have to find alternatives.

2. "Do I need to wear a mask outside forever?"

My answer to this is: yes until further notice. There's no foreseeable end to this pandemic right now, but it would be worth the patience to wait for adequate tech, treatment, and cures for covid-19 to be released before even thinking about getting loose with masking.

Societal mandates have been dropped way too soon, and public health in regards to covid-19 is being forced on us as an individual responsibility. As a consequence, this gives this rapidly mutating virus a lot of wiggle room to spread and do whatever it wants. This means doctors and experts don't have much answers yet for adequate treatment because there's a MAJOR lack of containment (such as masking & quarantining) and documentation (such as testing & reporting). This isn't to say there hasn't been any advancements whatsoever: for example, Washington University just developed a breath test for covid that gives results in just 1 minute! This is great news! And this is just one reason why it's very necessary for those who can mask to mask, so scientists are given more time to roll out helpful solutions & tools sooner.

Another thing I'll add is if you're symptomatic and/or are positive for covid, you should 100% be wearing a mask no matter what, point blank period. I say "and/or" because it is VERY much possible to have covid and not experience any symptoms at all; this is a major reason why it's necessary to mask up in public consistently, because you can't always know who you bump into that may have covid or not.

3. "Even if we don't have covid, we could still be risking other people's health (and lives) with other diseases we may have right?"

Yes, there is a possibility of spreading airborne diseases to vulnerable people unknowingly— without the protective & preventative tools that is.

I can only speak for America because that's the cultural zeitgeist I grew up in, but: I feel like many of us can agree that, unless you worked in a healthcare setting, what was "normal" (in America) before 2020 when it came to airborne illness prevention was definitely not the regular use of a mask. American health education mainly taught us if we're coughing & sneezing to try to do so in a tissue or into your elbow, as well as frequently wash our hands. That doesn't account for the way air actually works though. For instance, if someone with the common cold coughed into the inside of their elbow, the particles they coughed out are still able to linger in the air because their elbow isn't creating a tight seal around their mouth (their elbow may have caught the droplets from their cough— which are bigger & heavier— but the smaller, lighter aerosols would just spread around similar to how smoke does); it's the difference between 😪 vs 😶‍🌫️. The only sure way for the germs they've coughed out to be blocked from spreading to other people is if they wear a well-fitted, quality mask/respirator.

I feel like health education from a young age should include the benefits of masking; that way it would be easier to adapt to the need to put on a mask to protect ourselves & others as a collective. It would be phenomenal & wonderful if we as a collective were used to masking the same way we're used to putting on socks before putting on our shoes.

4. "Immunocompromised people have always and will always exist"

Yes, that is true. And that means necessary measures taken to protect them, as well as other vulnerable people, should be the standard.

5. "[Covid] can't be the only airborne disease out there"

Of course not. There's plenty of them. However, not all airborne diseases are the same, nor should they be treated as such. What's been observed in regards to the long-term effects of covid is not at all the same with other airborne diseases. Covid is a highly contagious virus that is more than just a respiratory disease. Its goal is to attack your immune system, nervous system, heart, brain, and/or other vital organs. That's what viruses do. They act smart and sneaky, and they have the capability to trigger illnesses in your body that you may not have had pre-infection:

Chickenpox is known to lead to shingles

Epstein-Barr is known to lead to mono

HPV is known to lead to cancer

Covid-19 has been found to lead to:

POTS

ME/CFS

Stroke & Heart attack

Alzheimer's

Dementia

"Brain Fog"; Memory & Concentration Problems

The list goes on, and these are only what we know of. Covid may not be the only airborne disease, but it definitely is a dangerous one with serious, long-term negative effects.

6. "Do you feel that we should all be masking all the time, whether or not covid-19 exists?"

In regards to masking with the existence of covid:

Yes. Masking is a vital method in the prevention of catching & spreading covid-19, because it is primarily spread through the air.

In regards to masking without the existence of covid:

See my answer for number 3, and also: given the fact wearing a mask can only do more good than harm for most folks, I don't see why not. Imagine a world where we don't have to worry about flu season or allergy season anymore because those aerosols are filtered out from consistent mask wearing. Sounds like the dream to me lol.

I hope this made sense! If anyone has anything they'd like to add to answer anon's questions, please feel free to share!

Thank you for reading 😷

#covid #covid pandemic #covid isn't over #covid is airborne #covid awareness #masks & respirators #link(s) provided #information #ask queue

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ntshastark · 4 months ago

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"You were the lone bright spot".

An Emma/Tony Reading Order

First of all, many thanks to this post by daour! Almost all of the first part is based on it! Second, not all of these are kind towards Tony as a character - specially the Uncanny X-Men Annual (where he's awfully skeezy) and Iron Man Special (where he's painted as a predator), so be forewarned.

Issues in bold are the ones where they either interact a lot or have significant interactions, and the ones with an *asterisk are just cameos or indirectly related.

Pre-Krakoa Era

Uncanny X-Men 2009 Annual (their terrible first meeting)

*Devil's Reign: X-Men (2022) #2 (flashback cameo)

*House of M (2005) #1 (Avengers and X-Men fight about Wanda)

Civil War (2006) #2 (past fwb arrangement revealed)

Uncanny X-Men (1963) #526-527 (dinner and reminiscing)

Avengers vs X-Men (2012) #2 (they're both in all the issues, but this is the only one where they actually interact - aka fight)

*Iron Man Special (2014) (Emma mentions Tony in an extremely negative light)

*History of the Marvel Universe (2019) #6 (first mention of their future wedding)

Krakoa Era

X-Men: Hellfire Gala (2022) #1 (the seeds for their future allyship are planted)

*The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #1 (flashback cameo)

The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #4-6 (diplomatic talks)

The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #8-9 (becoming allies)

Uncanny Avengers (2023) #1 (Avengers/X-Men secret meeting)

*X-Men (2021) #25 (Avengers/X-Men secret meeting)

Thanos (2023) #1-4 (together in the Illuminati)

X-Men (2021) #26 (quick chat)

The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #10-11 (the wedding!)

Ms. Marvel: The New Mutant (2023) #2 (PDAing in front of Kamala)

The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #12-14 (the consummation!)

*Fall of the House of X (2024) #1 (really cute really tiny cameo)

*X-Men (2021) #30 (Tony working with the X-Men even w/o Emma)

*Fall of the House of X (2024) #2 (Emma mentions Tony)

The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #15 (battle couple)

*The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #17 (mid-battle check up)

The Invincible Iron Man (2022) #19-20 (the goodbye.)

Post-Krakoa Era

*Iron Man (2024) #1 (Tony refers to Emma as "my wife")

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willosword · 2 months ago

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WOOO now that i'm done with my rewatch i can post my little side project :]

below the cut is my personal record of invincible's rate of adaptation with episodes vs issues and pages bc im super normal about this kind of stuff (not fussing too much with it so some pages might slip through the cracks here and there):

SEASON ONE

s1 episode 1: #1 (19 pages), #2 (9 pages), #6 (3 pages), #7 (21 pages), #16 (2 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 54 pages from 5 different issues

s1 episode 2: #2 (7ish pages), #3 (16 pages), #4 (3 pages), #5 (21 pages), #8 (1 page), #14 (5 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 53 pages from 6 different issues

s1 episode 3: #6 (2 pages), #8 (14 pages), #9 (13 pages), #10 (7 pages), #21 (1 page)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 37 pages from 5 different issues

s1 episode 4: #15 (2 pages), #18 (18 pages), #21 (2 pages), #25 (2 pages), #26 (2 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 26 pages from 5 different issues

s1 episode 5: #14 (1 page), #18 (5 pages), #19 (16 pages), #30 (1 page)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 23 pages from 4 different issues

s1 episode 6: #6 (13 pages), #8 (3 pages), #20 (15 pages), #21 (2 pages), #22 (9 pages), #25 (2), #30 (1 page), #31 (4 pages), #32 (1 page), #36 (9 pages), #37 (7 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 66 pages from 11 different issues

s1 episode 7: #9 (3 pages), #10 (9 pages), #26 (1 page), #34 (6 pages), #35 (2 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 21 pages from 5 different issues

s1 episode 8: #11 (21 pages), #12 (20 pages), #13 (20 pages), #14 (7ish pages), #22 (1 page)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 69 pages from 5 different issues

(season total 349 pages)

SEASON TWO

s2 episode 1: #13 (1 page), #14 (3 pages), #16 (11 pages), #17 (3 pages), #18 (1 page), #20 (1 page), #21 (1 page), #22 (1 page), #24 (16 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 38 pages from 9 different issues

s2 episode 2: #9 (2 pages), #14 (2 pages), #15 (12 pages), #17 (3 pages), #19 (3 pages), #21 (12 pages), #22 (1 page), #25 (1 page), #31 (4 pages), #38 (2 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 42 pages from 10 different issues

s2 episode 3: #20 (3 pages), #23 (20 pages), #24 (1 page), #25 (14 pages), #36 (1 page), #37 (2 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 41 pages from 6 different issues

s2 episode 4: #26 (16 pages), #27 (10 pages), #28 (15 pages), #29 (17 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 58 pages from 4 different issues

s2 episode 5: #22 (4 pages), #28 (7 pages), #29 (1 page), #30 (16 pages), #31 (9 pages) #38 (6 pages), #39 (17 pages), #40 (19 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 79 pages from 8 different issues

s2 episode 6: #24 (2 pages), #28 (3 pages), #35 (15 pages), #41 (16 pages), #43 (13 page)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 49 pages from 5 different issues

s2 episode 7: #10 (2 pages), #25 (4 pages), #32 (3 pages), #37 (4 pages), #38 (3 pages), #41 (2 pages), #43 (1 page), #44 (10 pages), #45 (13 pages), #47 (2 pages), #48 (2 pages),

TOTAL ADAPTED: 46 pages from 11 different issues

s2 episode 8: #33 (20 pages), #34 (14 pages), #43 (2 pages), #45 (2 pages), #46 (5 pages), #47 (2 pages)

TOTAL ADAPTED: 45 pages from 6 different issues

(season total 398 pages)

#may or may not use this data to try and get a more accurate season count prediction eventually #invincible #willow whispers

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queenkinqs · 1 year ago

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on like issue 30 something of invincible and it’s so crazy to me the difference between mark in the show and in the comics post nolan’s betrayal. mark is going to actually fall apart once the show gets to issue 26

#honey you’ve got a big storm coming #invincible #shut up birdy #invincible comics are very fun so far i started last week and I’ve gotten pretty far with the amount of time I give myself to read #trying not to read too fast tho…gotta enjoy it while it lasts

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queenarahbo · 2 months ago

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Don't Tell

“Hey you,” Cynthia poked Steven’s cheek playfully “You can’t go to sleep just yet.” Without even bothering to open his eyes, Steven responded with a casual 'Why not?' It was evident that he was beginning to wonder if he would manage to stay awake through the entire movie. His body felt heavy and opening his eyes felt like too much of a chore. “Because the movie is just getting good.” Sicktember Prompts Filled: Day 21: Anaphylactic Reaction Day 26: Heart Condition

Steven had been grappling with a hidden heart condition, wishing to shield it from the prying eyes of the world. His initial hope was that by simply refusing to acknowledge it, the issue would somehow disappear. However, he quickly realized the foolishness of his thinking. As a result, he concealed his condition out of sheer desperation to maintain his public image. To the people of Hoenn, he was portrayed as an invincible champion, and perhaps, he took too much pride in this image. There were a few close calls during severe episodes, and on one occasion, Drake discovered Steven after he had collapsed. Eventually, his league members also uncovered his secret. They collectively agreed to keep it concealed as long as Steven prioritized his well-being. Fortunately, with time, he began to improve. He managed without medication, and there was hope that his condition wouldn't significantly impact his daily life.

That meant he needed to understand his limitations. Which he did. He just chose to ignore them most of the time.

For years, he had successfully kept his secret closely guarded with the loyal support of his Elite Four. Surprisingly, the next person to discover the truth was Cynthia. He had actually anticipated that Wallace would be the first to find out. His closest friend had tactfully avoided discussing his condition, understanding that Steven would open up when he felt ready. However, it was during one of their dates that Cynthia became aware of his struggles. Steven had attempted to downplay his situation, passing it off as mere fatigue, but she saw through his facade when he experienced a particularly severe episode.

It didn’t work.

She had dragged him to the hospital and after a series of tests he knew were pointless his secret was out. They had referred him back to his doctor in Ever Grande City who promptly put him on a medication to help.

Now he found himself sitting on his couch with the other champion’s head in his lap watching a movie. Despite her learning of his condition she still wanted to be with him. He carded his fingers through her hair as he let his eyes flutter closed. He was a little more tired than usual after working all day, but he was determined to spend this time with Cynthia.

“Hey you,” Cynthia poked Steven’s cheek playfully “You can’t go to sleep just yet.”

Without even bothering to open his eyes, Steven responded with a casual 'Why not?' It was evident that he was beginning to wonder if he would manage to stay awake through the entire movie. His body felt heavy and opening his eyes felt like too much of a chore.

“Because the movie is just getting good.”

“Tired,” Steven mumbled. He was fading fast. He cracked one eye open at his girlfriend’s reluctant sigh.

“Fine, but you need to take that medicine before you go to bed. They told you to start it tonight.”

“Cyn…” Steven groaned “I really don’t need it.”

"And I don’t care. Your doctor believed you needed it and prescribed it to you." Cynthia disentangled herself from the blanket they were under, prompting a discontented sound from Steven, and headed into the kitchen where the forgotten orange bottle lay abandoned.

As Steven watched Cynthia walk into the kitchen, he knew that there was no point in protesting. He was willing to do whatever it took to make her happy and finally get some sleep. Moments later, Cynthia returned, holding a pill in one hand and a glass of water in the other. He let out a heavy sigh as he placed the white tablet on his tongue and quickly swallowed it with the water. "Can we please go to bed now?" he pleaded, feeling exhaustion weighing him down with each passing minute.

Cynthia leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Steven's cheek. "You can. I will be in there in a few minutes. I want to call Lucian and make sure everything is going okay with me being gone," she said softly.

"Agreed," Steven responded before quickly retreating to the bedroom. After changing into fresh clothes, he gratefully settled into bed and shut his eyes. A peculiar feeling washed over him, which he attributed to exhaustion. He let his mind wander in pointless thought. As he drifted into sleep, Cynthia joined him in bed and he instinctively pulled her close. Suddenly, he noticed a tightness in his throat and a growing sense of nausea. It all felt very strange.

“Are you okay? You’re flushed.”

The hushed question lingered in the tranquil room. Steven was not feeling quite right. He gently shook his head as he whispered, "Not really." Slowly, he felt Cynthia's presence, and he slowly opened his eyes. She was leaning on her elbow, gazing at him with worry etched in her eyes. As she tenderly placed the back of her hand on his forehead, he let out a sigh of relief. Her touch was wonderfully soothing, blissfully cool against his skin.

“You feel warm. That’s not good. Were you feeling bad earlier?”

Steven's head shook once more, his throat ached and felt constricted. Something was very wrong. He struggled to draw breath, feeling as though his body was weighed down. He managed to rasp weakly, "My throat... it hurts... feels tight." Why did his body feel so heavy? As he coughed into his arm, a sensation of suffocation overwhelmed him as oxygen failed to reach his lungs. His chest burned as he fought to breathe. It hurt. It burned. Amidst Cynthia's frantic voice by his side, he battled for air, his lungs craving the oxygen they were being denied. He fought to reassure Cynthia that he was okay, but all that escaped his mouth was a wheeze. It felt as if his chest was engulfed in flames. He couldn’t give in now. As his vision blurred and spots danced before his eyes, he made a desperate attempt to blink them away, but darkness swallowed him before he could offer any comfort.

As Steven gradually regained consciousness, he found himself in a strangely pristine white room that bore no resemblance to his own bedroom. The room was illuminated by an overwhelming brightness, and an unsettling stillness hung in the air, broken only by occasional faint sounds.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The offending device on his right was connected to him from three different wires. He took a steadying, shaky breath. Why was he in the hospital? He didn’t get the chance to ponder that for long. The door clicked open and Cynthia appeared with a brown and white cup in her hand. She seemed surprised and equally relieved to see him. It took him a frighteningly long time to recognize the bitter smell of coffee.

“I didn’t think you were going to be awake yet. The doctor said you would be sleeping for a while.” Cynthia made herself comfortable in the chair in the corner of the room. She picked up on Steven’s confusion and continued “You had an allergic reaction to the medication. I had to bring you here. You couldn’t breathe.”

After telling the whole story, he realized that it might explain the intense pain in his chest and throat. Despite still feeling weak, he noticed a slight improvement in his overall condition. "I'm sorry," he murmured, wincing as he spoke, feeling the discomfort in his chest and throat.

“Hey, no, don’t do that.” Cynthia scolded “You don’t need to apologize. We couldn’t have known. You’re okay and that’s what matters. I told Lucian I would be staying a few days longer than planned. He wanted me to tell you to feel better.”

Steven nodded with a raspy hum. So Cynthia had told Lucian? He leaned his head back with a suppressed sigh. It couldn’t be helped. He listened to Cynthia talking about different things until he was lulled back into sleep.

#sicktember #sickfic #pokemon #ao3 #pokemon cynthia #cynthia #champion cynthia #steven stone

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inkribbon796 · 1 year ago

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Egotober 2023 Day 4, Date Night with the Dooms

Summary: Silver and the city might not be having a good time, but Dark is as happy as can be.

A/N: This is a carry over from Day 3

Prompt: Happy

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31

Mark got the alarm from the cops while he was on his drive to get late night groceries. Wilford and Dark had the downtown area. Dark was clearly under the influence of Wilford’s aura more than usual, making him more dangerous than normal.

So Mark found a place to randomly park, got changed inside of it, and as Silver flew off to find them.

“SAM, get me good news,” Silver said. “Where are those bastards?”

“They seem to be over by the Westen Bridge,” SAM said. “Bing also sent a message saying that they’ve been having issues with an eco-terrorist in Gainesville. He will need you on call when you’re done.”

“Damn, when it rains, it pours. That will be a while, tell Abe I’m coming his way.” Silver flew around buildings. “How many casualties?”

“Five confirmed, two cops, three civilians,” SAM said.

“Dammit,” Silver picked up speed, flying as fast as he could as the bridge slowly came into view.

It turned out that Silver didn’t need to make it all the way to the bridge because he spotted Dark emerging from one of his portals. A mad smile on his face and violence in his eyes.

His dark grey coat and black hair billowing in the night air. His blue and red chromatic copies stuttered out around him. His aura coiling around him.

And Silver shot over to him like a bullet.

He wasn’t sure if it was an illusion or if his haste made him easier to spot, but Silver seemed to go through him and Silver skidded to a stop.

“Shepherd, did you bring your child again, or have you come to fight me?” Dark said, already moving.

“He’s not mine, he’s not involved.” Silver didn't know where Wilford was but he couldn’t just let Dark get away from him. And if Ethan was here, Mark was going to lose it.

Or Dark was trying to throw him off his game.

“Well, I’d like to stay and chat, Shepherd, but I have business to attend to.” Dark then opened up a portal and Silver tried to grab part of him. Managing to snag him by the arm and throw him away from it.

“You’re not going anywhere but jail,” Silver said, relishing in the visible impact Dark made. A nice reminder that the creature who terrorized his city since before he was born was not invincible.

Before Silver could go to grab him, he paid for his hubris and was attacked when aura snagged him at the cape and throat.

Wilford drove his face into the concrete roof. “How dare you fuck up date night!”

Using as much strength as he could muster, Silver got out of Wilford’s hold.

Wilford grabbed Silver in a headlock and smiled at Dark. “Darkling, if you want to run ahead, I’ll get rid of the riff raff.”

“How you’re able to brainwash him into doing this is beyond me.” Silver was barely able to keep Wilford from choking him out.

“Pay him, no head Darkling, run along, I’ll catch up.” Wilford grinned and Silver could feel it in his aura when he did it.

Instead of insisting to do his own dirty work or making a passive aggressive comment about Wilford, Dark laughed.

An actual real laugh from the literal demon mob boss crime lord. Dark let out a mad cackle, sounding every bit like the supervillain he was.

And then he was gone, throwing himself off the rooftop, like he needed to walk anywhere.

Wilford smiled at Silver. “See? He loves date night. Look at how happy he is.”

Silver began fighting, taking way too long to try and follow Dark. He was way too buzzed on Wilford’s aura to be safe for anyone’s wellbeing.

When Silver broke away, he looked towards the direction Dark had gone. He expected Wilford to jump him. When he didn’t, a pit felt like it was dropping in his gut and Wilford was gone.

Starting a full hour long goose chase that ended outside the home of the current mayor. A man who has been under Dark’s thumb, taking bribes and threats to do whatever he wanted.

In the end after Silver had found where Dark had gone, only one other person died that night. This death seemed to be the most gruesome of the night.

The cops and three civilians had been quick deaths. Wrong place wrong time, all by Wilford’s hand, or rather his gun.

This one was Dark’s doing, and the carnage and slow death proved it.

Gatling, Bob, was outside the house with Abe. The city in its uneasy normal. The rampage seemed over.

Silver was furious and upset at how unable they’d been to do anything. And this hadn’t been the first time. They needed someone who could follow auras and they needed it desperately.

Bob looked just as uncomfortable. “Look, I know he was corrupt as fuck, and so is the entire council board, but at least he was alive.”

Just boiling in rage, Silver thought things over for a bit. “We need to call Marvin.”

“Right now? It’s like three or four in the morning for him?” Abe said.

“I don’t care, we don’t have a tracker and all of the Septics can see or feel auras. Even Schneep can. They can afford to lose one of them, I don’t care which at this point. There’s no way we’re getting J.J, so we go for either Chase or Marvin. And Chase has an actual civilian life, so Marvin is our only chance.”

Bob looked even more uncomfortable but he sighed. “Okay, we’ll try.”

Silver made the call, knowing what a long fight he was about to get himself into.

Back at the Manor, Dark and Wilford came tumbling out of a portal. Wilford a laughing mess and Dark more of a smiling one. Their hands intertwined.

Dark’s office was still the disaster they had left it in.

“You have fun, Darkling?” Wilford kissed the back of Dark’s hand as their fingers stayed intertwined.

“You know what?” Dark said, only starting to come down off of his intoxicating high. “I did. It was a lovely evening. I got to put the city back in its place and now I don’t have to keep paying that skidmark of a creature to do what I want.”

“Simply lovely,” Wilford said. “You were amazing as always.”

The madman made a noise as Dark pulled away to look around the office.

“I was, wasn’t I?” Dark smiled to himself. “And I’ve been thinking.”

“Love it,” Wilford sat back on Dark’s desk.

“My city has gotten a bit too high and mighty, time to show the heroes and the police just really rules this town,” Dark said, his mad smile still on his face.

Then his aura turned a bit more blue.

Dark changed his form to look more human, warmer. A crisp black suit and doe-like brown eyes. An old form, an old face. “I think this city needs to be taken in a new direction.”

Wilford froze, as if his twisted mind was trying to grasp onto something, but he just smiled and cupped his hands around Dark’s face. “Simply divine, as always, my darling. I think this calls for a celebration, I’ll get Yan and the boys,”

The madman hopped off the desk and rushed out of the office to round up their adopted wards. At least all the ones that were still awake.

Dark watched him go for a bit. His blue soul echoed out from Dark, looking after Wilford with dangerous longing. Dark easily pulled the long-dead mayor back in before he could spoil his evening. Dark was in a good mood, and he refused to let that change the night.

#Egotober 2023 #Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #Darkiplier #Wilford Warfstache #silver shepherd #Darkstache #date night #murder husbands

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coffeeheartaddict2 · 2 years ago

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Everybody hurts sometimes (11/18)

Confronted

Book: Open Heart (AU)

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey xF!mc Casey Valentine

Warnings: drug use, language, sexual references

*****Trigger Warning- this series deals with issues of abandonment and addiction. This chapter also features an overdose*****

Word count: 1815

Rating: Mature 18+

Category: Angst

Summary: things appear to be going well for Ethan and Casey. A blast from Ethan’s past threatens to spoil it all.

Authors note: Let the pain begin.the next several chapters you will really see the impact Louise walking out had and how he never fully healed from that. There is an eventual happy ending, I promise.

😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢

It had been one week since June was unceremoniously fired from Edenbrook. Casey was visibly more at ease, she had been cleared by Dr Phelps to return full time to work if she wished, the team was working well despite being down to three people and most importantly things were going great between herself and Ethan, to a point. She could tell something was bothering him. She knew that he had gotten into an argument with his dad about his mother, he had his reasons for avoiding her, well from what little he told her anyway. She still felt he needed closure, whatever that may be but the refusal to talk about it was starting to make her uneasy. She hoped that he would one day tell her everything and she did ask but Ethan did not want to burden her further. Ethan intellectually knew that his burdens were her’s but how did he know that enough was enough and if he was overburdening her. But despite this they were going well, they both found it freeing to be in the open and despite his demons, Ethan was confident of a bright future.

A few weeks later Casey awoke with a start. She was at the roomy residence. The nightmares from the attack were becoming a distant memory but Casey could help but feel uneasy and what was more troubling is that she could not put a finger on why.

Meanwhile, in a motel room in Southey, Louise awoke in a motel room, in excruciating pain. For the last while she had a vicious cycle of sti’s and uti’s but they had been getting worse and worse. She had started to suspect there was more to her pain, especially now that she had unexplained weight loss to the mix but she did not have the means to afford the rigorous testing let alone treatment. So she endured. Despite the pain she was still prostituting herself, normally she would have spent the money left after rent on heroin but not lately. The pain was so bad that she wanted to end her life on her own terms, with what little dignity she had left.

She had hoped that Ethan would reach out. He had not. She knew Alan was going to leave the choice upto Ethan and she knew that she hurt them both so much that day but it still hurt. She wanted to apologize for the pain, say how proud of him she was for the man he did become. But she knew that she had no opportunity. She had deduced from what Alan had said that Ethan lived in Boston and she knew he could find out which hospital he worked at and see him but how do you approach the son that you know wants nothing to do with you. She got up, had some coffee with some pain medication and went about her meager existence.

Two weeks later, Louise finally had enough money together for a very large hit. She sat in her motel room, in pain. She contemplated leaving notes for Ethan and Alan but she could not be sure that they would receive them. She prepared the heroin, and her vein in her arm and injected. For awhile she felt invincible, she even left the room and wandered around the area. Then she collapsed.

Ethan and Casey were making their way down to emergency. There was no page to go there but they did. When they arrived an ambulance pulled up. A woman in a stretcher was brought in. The Paramedic ran off the particulars but Ethan was frozen. It may have been close to 26 years when he last saw her but it was her. Louise Ramsey, the person who walked out on him and his dad. Casey shook him out of his shock.

“Ethan, this woman has overdose” said Casey whilst showing him the needle marks on her arm. “Can you please get the Naloxone”

Ethan is jolted into action and gets the drug. He injects it and is taken away. He then storms out of the emergency department.

Casey knew she should have went after him but she had never seen him so shaken, even the attack he seemed to have more composure. She suspected that the patient was his mother. She attends to other patients and leaves the ED to have some lunch. She is flagged down by Naveen.

He seemed concerned as he had not been able to find Ethan for a few hours. Casey told him about the ER incident and how she suspects the patient is his mother. Naveen is shocked, saddened. He goes off to the security room to see if he can find Ethan’s whereabouts. He tracks him down and makes his way to the on call room. Ethan is there, still in shock.

“What is wrong, Ethan?”

“How did you find me?”

“Casey told me what happened in the ER, how you stormed out. She has her suspicions but was that woman your mother?”

“She stopped being my mother when she walked out that goddamn door when I was 11 Naveen.”

“I am a son of a goddamn drug addict Naveen. Was she addicted then? Did she leave to pursue her addiction? Whatever the case she loved the drugs more than my dad or myself.”

“You do not know for sure…”

“I spent a good portion of the last 26 years blaming myself for her leaving Naveen. If it was not to do drugs all this time then why? Am I that unloveable?”

“Stop being ridiculous Ethan, Casey loves you…”

“Fuck! Casey, my beautiful Casey…”

Ethan starts to cry.

“We are all here for you Ethan, but you need closure, please talk to her, even if the worst case is true, at least you will know for sure.”

Ethan does not react to Naveen’s words. He does disagree however, him knowing the worst for sure he knew would break him and make him question every none familial relationship he has ever had.

He eventually messaged Casey, he states that he needs some time to process and he will reach out. He knew that overdose cases were kept for 72 hours. He knew how to keep himself busy and away from her. He knew his dad deserved to know but decided to tell him after she was gone. He knew his dad would be annoyed to put it mildly but he knew if he told Alan now, he would pressure him into seeing her.

Ethan goes home early, Naveen is understanding. Ethan had never felt this emotionally overwhelmed in a long time, to the point where he was numb. At that moment he wanted to call Casey and physically find solace in her but he knew she would want to talk and he was not ready for that. He walks to his bar, looks at the impressive array of scotches he has. He selects an unopened bottle of Macallan 25 and drinks. The amber liquid comforts him and he continues to drink until the bottle is empty. He went to bed, pleasured himself and fell asleep.

Meanwhile, Casey was anxious, furious, concerned. Naveen had told her of their discussion so at least she kind of knew where his head was at but from what little Ethan had told her, she did not think that he would speak to her. She got no sleep that night. She went to the hospital early. She tracked down Louise, there was a note that she was to be released after 72 hrs. That was the procedure. She marveled at how gaunt Louise looked. There were many needle marks so she deduced that she had been an addict for a while but to look so thin and sickly. She did wonder if something else was at play. She did not engage Louise, she had not heard from Ethan but she thought she would respect his privacy.

Ethan woke up, the thumping headache a stark reminder that he was not 25 anymore. He got up, had juice and a coffee then a shower. He went to work. He went about his day as if nothing was wrong. Casey could see he was hurting but because he had not reached out she kept quiet.

The three days passed mercifully quickly . Louise was surprised she survived that hit. Ethan was relieved that she was gone, he was still confronted about the fact she was an addict. He called his dad and bent the truth, stating he had been unwell and only found out about Louise being in hospital when she was about to be discharged. He stated that he was brought in after overdosing. Alan did wonder if he was been told the truth and when he finished speaking to Ethan he called Naveen who told him the truth. Alan was disappointed. He called Ethan again to express his disappointment at being lied to. Ethan was annoyed at being found out but he stated that it confirmed what he had long suspected, she did not truly love him. Ethan hung up. He wanted a drink and he wanted Casey. Being at work he could not have either so he threw himself into work. He asked Casey to come over that night. Casey was hopeful that they would finally talk so she agreed.

After shift came and Casey made her way to Ethan’s. He was upset. He told Casey how it was confronting that he was the son of an addict. How he felt that he was not enough for her to stay. Casey asked did you speak to her to which he said he did not, why find out for sure what was appearing as plain as day. She knew she should have spoken up and said you need to know for sure but she knew it was a losing battle. Instead she told him that she loves him, that he is not unlovable. Ethan knew intellectually that Casey was right, people did love him but the foundation of that love felt rocky but how do you tell that to the woman who has stayed with you despite selfishly breaking up and now appearing to stay through this. Instead of confronting that question he did what he did best, avoided it and proceeded to make love to her several times over. She said I love you before drifting off, he kissed the side of her head but did not say it back. She drifted off, wondering if he did truly love her. Ethan wanted to say it back but he was still shook to his core and did not feel right in saying it back and again he did not know how to tell her how he was truly feeling. When Casey was asleep, he gently got out of bed and drowned the thoughts with yet another drink.

———

Authors note: truly a set up chapter and the beginning of what is to come. Next chapter I recommend your comfort food yet again.

Thank you for all who have read this far and commented. If you wish to be added please reply or send me a DM.

Tagging: @jerzwriter @jamespotterthefirst @genevievemd @potionsprefect @liaromancewriter @youlookappropriate @tessa-liam @alj4890 @cariantha @a-crepusculo @crazy-loca-blog @bex-la-get @ofmischiefandmedicine @socalwriterbee @lucy-268 @schnitzelbutterfingers @binny1985 @trappedinfanfiction

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

#open heart #ethan ramsey #choices fanfic writers creations #fic of the week #au #everybody hurts sometimes #casey valentine #Naveen Banerji #choices fanfic #choices #open heart choices

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graphicpolicy · 1 year ago

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It's the wedding of Tony Stark and Emma Frost in X-Men #26 and Invincible Iron Man #10

It's the wedding of Tony Stark and Emma Frost in X-Men #26 and Invincible Iron Man #10 #comics #comicbooks #ironman #xmen

Get ready for a wedding! Marvel has revealed the connecting covers for X-Men #26 and Invincible Iron Man #10, which feature the long awaited wedding between Emma Frost and Tony Stark. Debuting in September, both issues are written by Gerry Duggan with art by Stefano Caselli, Juan Frigeri, and stunning covers by Lucas Werneck. First, in X-Men #26, the moment we swore would never happen—heck, the…

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#comic books #Comics #emma frost #gerry duggan #invincible iron man #juan frigeri #lucas werneck #marvel #stefano caselli #tony stark #x-men

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bookbutterfly1999 · 2 years ago

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I posted 4,733 times in 2022

That's 3,725 more posts than 2021!

38 posts created (1%)

4,695 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@iam93percentstardust

@owlservice

@lookingforsomematches

@shinybluebirdwizard

@invincible-ironthot

I tagged 57 of my posts in 2022

#moon knight - 23 posts

#oscar isaac - 22 posts

#marvel - 17 posts

#steven grant - 13 posts

#marveledit - 10 posts

#mcu - 10 posts

#moon knight spoilers - 9 posts

#marc spector - 9 posts

#moonknightedit - 8 posts

#mcufam - 7 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

Nathalie willing to die for Adrien… being a real mom to him than his own gosh dang father who would rather harm his own birth son than help him in an fatherly context and also continuously manipulates their relationship…

10 notes - Posted November 4, 2022

Spoilers for Netflix Show: Wednesday.

Stuff I liked about Wednesday after binge watching:

Wednesday Addams being a little shit but still caring for her brother/brother figures

Gomez and Morticia

The red herrings with the headmistress and the therapist

Enid and Thing

So basically characterisation was heavily emphasised for most characters (except the guys, you know who)

The Poe Cup being a no rules thing (tho I expected it to be more wilder since it’s a no rules thing)

The queen bee actually being a nuanced person with her own issues and not being the stereotypical queen bee archetype. Thank goodness.

Teens being difficult TM (esp with authority figures and parents)

Stuff like Yoko being friends with both Bianca and Enid…

Tyler’s question… that scene was AMAZING.

What I did NOT like about Wednesday or felt it could have been done way better… maybe they could improve it in second season?

The villain(s), could have been more fleshed out as a character, making their “betrayal” that much more impactful

Same with the white bread guys tbh

The thing being a school-wide popular person (although well done with them being a part of Nightshade)

Actual more clues about who Thing could belong to? Being the Addams family’s biggest mystery, shouldn’t it intrigue Wed more?

Her visions being a plot moving forward device rather than actually being super random and even having the potential to be played as a joke at times… (not all the time)

Goody Addams and not actually being super relevant to the plot? Like yes but could have delved more into the whys and hows

Not being told much about the red moon thing?

We’d not being suspicious about Tyler

Showing us how Tyler avoided “Wed’s superior olfactory senses) using coffee? And other such cleaver sprinklings of the clues across the season as a montage?

Morticia not having even a single vision? Why not? Can draw a parallel between how different she’s from Wed yet how similar…

Idk there’s a lot more, I’ll update the more I think about it…

12 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

Ok story time

So I’m not back home in India but I wanted to watch this Tamil film called Ponniyin Selvan as soon as it released because I loved the story when I took time to get into it.

So I emailed my small college town to release the film and they initially refused but afterwards accepted and screened the film for 3ish days…

And that’s how the first Tamil film in the town was screened….

The film was amazing and worthy of the time I took to request it hehe

12 notes - Posted November 8, 2022

In the initial few episodes, when Nick says that he told Tara about them, and Charlie went “Omg you are amazing”…. He must be so overwhelmed with how Ben treated him that this one small act seemed so humongous to Charlie…

21 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

What is it about the blond overachiever x the black haired herbo/ physically competent kick ass, dynamic, that is so damn compelling?

50 notes - Posted November 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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geekcavepodcast · 1 year ago

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The Wedding of Emma Frost and Tony Stark is At Hand

IGN has revealed the Lucas Werneck’s connecting covers of X-Men #26 and Invincible Iron Man #10, which will feature the wedding of Emma Frost and Tony Stark. Both issues are written by Gerry Duggan with X-Men art by Stefano Caselli and Invincible Iron Man art by Juan Frigeri.

X-Men #26 goes on sale on September 6, 2023, and Invincible Iron Man #10 goes on sale on September 27, 2023.

(Image via Marvel Comics, Lucas Werneck’s Connected Covers of X-Men #26 and Invincible Iron Man #10)

#emma frost and tony stark #emma frost #tony stark #x-men #invincible iron man #lucas werneck #gerry duggan #stefano caselli #juan frigeri #marvel comics #TGCLiz

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everygame · 2 years ago

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City Connection (NES)

Developed/Published by: Jaleco Released: 14/8/1985 Completed: 26/12/2022 Completion: Beat all the different maps (saving after each level). Trophies / Achievements: n/a

Right, so here’s a wee bit of personal history. I have such strong memories of playing a version of this on the BBC Micro at a school fair. Paying 5p, or whatever, to be allowed to have a go on the BBC Micro until you run out of lives, I remember thinking that I wished I had an endless supply of 5ps. So after finishing this off I had to look up what the game was.

Now. I might be wrong, but I’m almost completely certain the game I was playing was Daredevil Denis, which is literally nothing like City Connection other than it’s a platform game with vehicles. I mean, it doesn’t even scroll! (Which is the part that makes me think maybe I was wrong, as in my memory the game 100% scrolled. But I can’t find another game on the BBC Micro that fits.)

Anyway, Daredevil Denis came out in 1984 and this didn’t come out until July 1985 even in the arcades, so it’s not even like it’s a version of this.

If you’re asking “what was the point of this trip down memory lane?” there isn’t one, so I’ll just smoothly move onto describing what City Connection actually is rather than what it isn’t, which is a BBC Micro game I once played at a school fair or possibly completely imagined. City Connection is Jaelco’s entry into the then burgeoning “What if Pac-Man was a platform game” genre along with Mappy and Flicky, but here rather than playing a policemouse (boo) or a bird that needs rescuing off Sonic (yay?) you play a Honda City (yesss!) that’s attempting to colour in all the roads of various cities in the world.

It does this by driving on them (obviously) but all the cities have built precariously high multi-story highways that have loads of holes in them, the cops are determined to stop any shenanigans, and the feral cat population is out of control. So the Honda City is able to do a couple of things: jump, and pick up oil cans which it can chuck at the po-po (cats, sadly, are invincible to cans but not cars.)

The real challenge with City Connection actually comes from the Honda City’s unusual requirements. You see, although the car moves constantly, it’s really not much of a problem that you can’t stop, and most police cars (for some reason) are actually driving away from you. The issue is that after a jump or a turn the Honday City must do a wheelie before it can jump, meaning that you can have a lengthy cool-down between jumps. This can be disastrous because the game moves fast and you really don’t have a lot of look-ahead, leading to a lot of murdered cats (or even worse, a death spiral where you just keep turning around to try and avoid hitting a cat on either side of you, but never get enough distance to actually wheelie.

To be honest, this factor really had me wishing I was playing Daredevil Denis instead. I know that this is a fairly beloved port in Japan–considered especially faithful to the arcade version–but you die so unfairly, so often, that I found this terribly exhausting to play, even though I found the graphics and setting extremely charming (I mean, who doesn’t love a Honda City?) I wish I had nicer things to say about this, but I’d rather play Mappy (and I’d definitely rather play Flicky.)

Will I ever play it again? I’d be happy to try the arcade version. One thing I didn’t mention here is that the scrolling on this NES version is just a touch too jerky to be anything other than headache-inducing.

Final Thought: City Connection is a really good example of the “why?” school of game localisation; the original game in both arcade and Famcom actually casts you as Clarice, a blue haired teenager generally considered one of the earliest female protagonists, but on NES you play a blonde dude. The star’s the car though. Disappointed there’s no Motocompo power-up.

Support Every Game I’ve Finished on ko-fi, either via a one-off donation (pay what you like) or by joining as a supporter at just $1 a month.

#video games #gaming #text #txt #review #city connection #jaelco #nes #famicom #nintendo entertainment system #retro #retro gaming #retro games

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wajjs · 2 years ago

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I posted 5,835 times in 2022

That's 459 more posts than 2021!

975 posts created (17%)

4,860 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@bashful-berry

@kiseiakhun

@wellthatjusthappend

@puppetmaster55

@yeats-nana

I tagged 3,208 of my posts in 2022

Only 45% of my posts had no tags

#dc - 438 posts

#hal jordan - 426 posts

#blob post - 390 posts

#green lantern - 297 posts

#blob talks - 255 posts

#mdzs - 130 posts

#the untamed - 112 posts

#kyle rayner - 106 posts

#anonblob - 102 posts

#jason todd - 91 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#re that issue with the not subtle white saviour/white colonialism trope in which guy is stranded on an alien planet and he's gotta be like.

My Top Posts in 2022:

pov: your fave isn't from the batfam

891 notes - Posted April 26, 2022

I have a question and it's what are the feelings you're having about the movie because it seems pretty intense 👀

Okay so to be 100% honest, at first I didn't think it was going to be as moving and heartfelt as it is.

Not only does the cast give AMAZING PERFORMANCES, literally everyone is EXTREMELY GREAT, the cinematography and the music score are just. mind-blowing. And I'm not using that word lightly.

As someone who does NOT like current Batman stories, this film left me in love with the character. Honestly. YES, it's still violent and gritty like all modern hero movies are, but it is also HOPEFUL AND HEARTFELT. It truly is a love letter to Bruce / Batman and to Gotham, and to the relationship Bruce has with Gotham.

The script just gets who Batman is supposed to be. It gets Batman, it gets Gotham and the complicated relationship between the two. The undercurrent of hope and self realization is what makes it so moving and finally a good depiction of the character that's not all about being edgy.

Yes, it's 3 hours long. The good thing about it is that the movie isn't rushed and the plot has time to develop beautifully. It's also a detective story. You have Bruce following Riddler's clues and trying to solve the case. It's less about the brutish violence and more about the intellectual part. The fight scenes are sooo well choreographed. He's not invincible. He's not infallible. Just. JUST. EVERYONE WHO LIKES BATMAN EVEN A LITTLE SHOULD WATCH THIS FILM.

1,039 notes - Posted March 3, 2022

Variant cover for TASK FORCE Z #12

2,169 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

Cover for TASK FORCE Z #12

2,860 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

sleepy tired but coffee machine at work can make hot cock so I'm surviving

5,995 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #long post #SIGH @ HOT COCK BEING NUMBER 1 POST

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christophe76460 · 11 months ago

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D’un cancer à une nouvelle vie

Je m’appelle Céline, j’ai 29 ans ; j’ai 5 formidables enfants et un bon mari grâce à Dieu.

Mais tout n’a pas été toujours rose dans ma vie. Quand on a le Seigneur Jésus-Christ dans sa vie, on se croit invincible, à l’abri de tout. On pense pouvoir tout diriger, mener sa vie comme un bon chrétien. On passe notre temps à louer Dieu et à le remercier. Lorsque tout va bien, ce n’est pas très compliqué. Mais même en tant que chrétien, peut-on tout accepter avec le sourire ? On le devrait pourtant.

En mars 2006, mon époux était parti en Côte d’Ivoire pour une durée de 4 mois pour son travail, j’ai donc profité de ce temps d’absence pour rendre visite à ma famille dans la région parisienne. J’ai décidé lors de ces vacances au mois d’avril de faire un bilan de santé complet (ophtalmologiste, dentiste…). Lors de ma visite chez le gynécologue, j’ai dû effectuer un frottis de contrôle. Quelques semaines plus tard, j’apprends que le résultat est « anormal ». Des examens supplémentaires s’imposaient (biopsie, colposcopie…). Résultat : cancer du col de l’utérus.

À l’annonce de cette nouvelle, je me suis effondrée. Pourquoi Seigneur ? J’ai une vie saine et je fais ta volonté. Une intervention chirurgicale s’imposait. Il a fallu annoncer la nouvelle à mon mari qui était à des milliers de kilomètres de moi. Il a été rapatrié le 18 juin 2006 pour être présent à mes côtés. Les médecins m’avaient prescrit une pilule contraceptive afin que je n’aie pas de saignements lors de l’opération qui devait se dérouler le 26 juin 2006. Le gynécologue m’a ensuite expliqué qu’il serait difficile voir impossible pour moi de porter un enfant à son terme si je devais tomber enceinte. J’étais perdue et je me laissais porter par les évènements sans savoir pourquoi cela m’arrivait.C’est bizarre comme on cherche toujours des raisons à nos problèmes.

Après mon intervention, j’ai été sous traitement durant quelques semaines. Mais je me sentais toujours mal avec de violentes douleurs. Après avoir changée de traitement plusieurs fois, mon état ne s’était toujours pas amélioré. Un jour, lorsque mon mari travaillait et que les enfants étaient chez leurs grands-parents, j’ai été invitée par mon Pasteur et sa femme. Les douleurs étaient revenues alors que je partageais le repas avec eux. C’est alors que mon Pasteur Arnaud, m’emmena d’urgence à l’hôpital. Après des examens et une échographie, je vois à l’écran un petit être. J’étais enceinte depuis environ 16 semaines (début de grossesse le 20 juin 2006 ; j’étais donc enceinte lors de l’opération). Mais comment est ce possible ?

Je m’effondre. Comment vais-je le dire à mon mari ? En l’annonçant à mon Pasteur, il semble fou de joie ; il l’était certainement plus que moi. J’avais déjà 4 enfants dont le dernier avait à peine un an. Et puis, la maladie…j’avais aussi prévue de reprendre mes études. Bref, j’avais plein de projets, et tout était chamboulé. Et tout ça pour un enfant que je ne désirai pas et que je n’étais même pas sûre de pouvoir garder. Et qui me garantissait qu’il serait en bonne santé avec tous ces médicaments ? Mon mari lui, était beaucoup plus ravi. Il a juste dit : « Il va falloir que l’on change de voiture ». Je m’en voulais de ces mauvais sentiments. Après tout, je priais pour que Dieu me guérisse et non pas pour avoir un bébé. Mais Dieu n’a-t-il pas le droit de m’offrir ce cadeau ? Ce formidable cadeau.

Plus le temps passait et plus je m’attachais à cet enfant qui était issu d’un miracle. La première fois que je l’ai senti bouger, j’ai oublié tous mes soucis. Je l’ai aimé tout simplement comme j’aime mes autres enfants. Le Seigneur a aussi permis que je continue mes études durant ma grossesse, soutenue par ma famille et mon église. Et le 12 mars 2007 est né Malcolm, qui signifie « faiseur de miracles ». Car c’est un vrai miracle de Dieu. Et comme un miracle ne vient pas sans un autre, aujourd’hui je suis guérie du cancer. Ce sont les anticorps du bébé que j’ai développé durant ma grossesse qui ont facilités ma guérison.

Grâce à Dieu j’ai appris l’acceptation (accepter ce qu’il nous donne sans condition) et le renoncement (renoncer à nos propres projets pour suivre la volonté de Dieu). Aujourd’hui, je le loue et je le remercie pour tous ses bienfaits. L’homme cherche toujours des raisons à ce qui lui arrive, mais c’est manquer de foi que de ne pas accepter ce qui nous arrive. Dieu sait tout au-delà de nos espérances. Remercions-le car il a posé son regard sur nous.

Faisons lui confiance.

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