#introspective mood

[vempoebooks]

The body remembers what the heart won’t say. From Thrill Me, a digital photobook on light, feeling, and form.

[xyywrites]

"We loved like wildfire—beautiful, destructive, and impossible to contain."

[stanford-photography]

My Scars Tell a Story By Jeff Stanford, 2024 Buy prints at: https://jeff-stanford.pixels.com/

[javierduffy]

i wanted to try a digital study

[fishyy-fish]

Fish’s Guide to the Mikko Rantanen Saga (with notes and asides)

This summer, Rantanen was close to signing a $12M/year contract with the Avs BUT Leon Draisiatl signed a $14M/year extension with the Oilers. This is important because they both share the same agent, one Andy Scott of Octagon Athlete Repersentation (per PuckPedia). Also interesting to note that Scott also represents Thomas Harley and Wyatt Johnston of the Dallas Stars (both recently signed to new contracts as of this off season and the trade deadline on Friday respectively) and Mackenzie Blackwood (traded to the Colorado Avalanche then signed to a 5 year deal at $5.25M/year shortly after).

Rantanen reportedly asked for $14M/year from the Avs, however the Avs have an internal policy that they will not pay a player more than Nathan MacKinnon (currently signed to a $12.6M/year contract for the next 6 years). This is a good decision to me, as much of their cap is tied up in Captain Gabe Landeskog who has been out on LTIR for the past three years yet is still trying to recover and join the team again, leaving the team with unknown cap space for future seasons despite the rising cap.

At some point, the Hurricanes reach out and ask Rantanen/his agent if they would be willing to sign a deal with them were he traded to the Canes. Rantanen and his agent say yes, likely intending to use that as a bargaining chip with the Avs, similar to what Elias Patterson previously did with the Canucks and the Hurricanes. They do not believe that the Avalanche would trade Rantanen, who was drafted by the team and helped lead them to a Stanley Cup. At this time, the Hurricanes are shopping Marty Nečas, and it is a rumor that they intend to deal him to the Canucks. The Avs have had their eye on Nečas (as they should, I miss that bottle blonde rockstar) and don’t want him to be traded to a contender, so they initiate trade talks with the Canes for Rantanen.

The blockbuster trade is announced on January 24th, while I am deep in a fever nap after traveling to New York to see the Canes play the NY Islanders and the NY Rangers. I do not believe it at first when I wake up to the news at 3am local time, believing it to be a wild fever dream, as I was still recovering from the flu and a day of cross country travel. It is still real at 5am when I wake up again. I am shocked and text my mother. The only Hurricanes player she knows is Bret Burns, affectionately called Greasy by my family.

After his trade to the Hurricanes, Rantanen speaks to the media about being blindsided by the trade. He also discusses his willingness to sign an extension with the Hurricanes on several occasions, but expresses that he needs time to adjust to his new reality. Fair enough. As more time goes on without any updates or news of progress on extension talks, the hockey world begins to rumble that a trade is eminent.

The Hurricanes are reported to have offered him $12.5M to $13M per year deals, however Rantanen expresses that he is not ready to sign and will not be until after the trade deadline. It is worthwhile to note that the Hurricanes were burned last offseason by Jake Guentzel (traded to them by the Pittsburgh Penguins) leaving the team due to a cap crunch.

It is also currently reported that Rantanen said he was not willing to re-sign with the Canes last week, after the 4 Nations Face Off tournament (of 4 Nations Jerking Off fame). This leaves the Carolina Hurricanes less than a week to find a team that Rantanen is willing to sign with, has a player/players that the Hurricanes are interested in, and would be able to come to terms with Rantanen and his agent.

During a practice, Rantanen refused to enter the locker room while member of the media are there. This adds fuel to reports of discontent and discord, though it could also have been attributed to constant talks of trade and performance. I can’t blame him, I’ve been known to start signing in ASL when I don’t want to interact with people in public.

Reports state that the Oilers and Leafs were among the interested teams who met those requirements, however the Oilers did not have any players, prospects, or draft picks that the Hurricanes were interested in, though they did come to an understanding with Rantanen about a potential contract higher than the contract he eventually signs; the Leafs’ Mitch Marner was not willing to waive his NMC, and the Hurricanes were not interested in the other players that the Leafs offered for a trade. Off hand, but Marner would be electric on the Hurricanes if he isn’t able to stay with the Leafs.

Trade rumors of Rantanen to the Stars start to circulate at approximately 1:00am (MST) on Friday, March 7th (the trade deadline), while I am puking my guts out in my bathroom. Again, I do not believe the notification but I am quickly distracted by another round of yakking out my guts. I am distracted and forlorn all day while at work. I am also still sick but covering shifts for a coworker who was on vacation. I cannot go home and cry in the shower, even though I want to.

Details of the trade are leaked throughout the day, however no official announcement comes until after the deadline due the the Stars insistence that Rantanen agree to the terms of a long term deal before the trade with the Hurricanes is finalized.

The Hurricanes receive inhousegrown rookie Logan Stankoven as well as a few draft picks for Rantanen. Stankoven had previously been assured that he was not on the trade table because Dallas Stars GM Jimothy Nill was not willing to trade his young core. He was developed by the Stars in their AHL affiliate before making a debut in the NHL last season and helping them in the playoffs before gaining a permanent spot on the NHL roster this season.

Due to the delay in the deal between Rantanen and the Stars, the Hurricanes are not able to make other trades they intended to make that day, as their available cap space was not free and the deal could have fallen through at the last moment.

While negotiating with the Stars on behalf of Rantanen, Andy Scott’s other client, Wyatt Johnston, to a 5 year deal at $8.4M/year. Johnston had reportedly turned down an 8 year deal at $8M/year earlier that week.

Rantanen agrees to an 8 year deal at $12M/year with the Stars, the exact offer he declined in Colorado. His new deal includes a no movement clause, commonly referred to as an NMC (reference above with Marner).

Many people have claimed that Rantanen chose Dallas due to Texas’ income tax free laws, however the income tax difference between $13M/year in Carolina and $12M/year in Texas is negligible.

While talking with TSN on Friday, Rantanen said “But yeah, just the fit in Dallas.” This hurts my feelings, part of me feels like he wasn’t able to give it an honest shot with the Hurricanes, but I understand what that was the case.

During his brief tenure with the Hurricanes, more vocal fans, pundits, and commentators noted Rantanen’s poor performance. Many attributed it to being shell shocked by the trade, however I personally feel that this trade was never a good idea in the first place. Rantanen’s offensive style was mismatched with the Hurricane’s more defensive style from the get go. I believe that the Hurricanes coach was more than willing to make adjustments had Rantanen re-signed with the team. Currently, Hurricanes fans are circulating that Rantanen was performing poorly on purpose, with theories ranging from low effort to intentional sabotage. That seems extreme and far fetched. His style of play was not a good match, the team was going through a time of sickness and struggle, and Rantanen himself was still reeling from being traded from the Avalanche.

My biggest takeaway from this situation has been that Rantanen’s agent is the biggest villain in this. It is my belief that he held out for more money, and that Rantanen was unaware that the Avalanche were willing to trade him to a team he had no desire to play on or sign with.

By the time the Hurricanes realized that no deal could be made, they had to move fast so that he could be traded before the deadline and recoup some of their losses.

Blame should not fall solely on Rantanen for this, I truely believe that he thought the Avalanche would be more willing to work with him rather than trading him. I understand and respect that he did not want to stay with the Hurricanes, however I do find his lack of open communication with team management about that fact disappointing, as it has set the team back for their playoffs run this year.

Hurricanes coach and players have commented that this situation was a distraction on the ice and in the locker room. It feels unfair that the whole team had to suffer about it, and that their performance suffered for it as well.

The biggest winner of the trade was Jack Roslovic, who got a shiny expensive Rolex for renting his number out for a few weeks.

The biggest looser of the trade was Logan Stankoven, who was traded from his team despite being told he would not be traded. I will treasure him, Dallas Stars fans.

On a personal note, as a fan of both teams, I find the happiness and sadness doubled. I am excited for Mikko to play with the Stars, but I am sad he would not sign with the Canes. I am excited that Stank will play with the Canes, but I am heartbroken that he was traded away from his Texas family. I can’t help but feel a bit bitter at the way this all played out. Mikko should still be on the Avs, and Stank should still be with the Stars. It feels wrong, somehow, that the trajectory of their lives and careers was permanently changed by one man’s bluff for more money. This whole situation has soured me a bit, I don’t know if I’ll be able to watch Canes or Stars hockey for a bit.

[mindfulhavens]

I crave it often.

Solitude.

But not once have I craved desired to be lonely.

With whom might I feel safe beside while drawing from what is within me?

[bad1dimagines]

late happy new year wishes - I hope this year brings u all the best of times xoxox -bad1dimagines

[francesca-parita]

from Dualism series - "Equilibrium"

A figure in contemplative solitude finds balance in its inner dualisms.

[velvetporcelain]

“I took some pride in 'not fulfilling my potential,' in part because I was terrified that if I tried my hardest, the world would learn I didn't actually have that much potential”.

- John Green

[xyywrites]

“There’s no safety net—just the cold, hard reality of jumping off cliffs and praying there’s a soft landing somewhere in the chaos.”

[stanford-photography]

Night Portrait By Jeff Stanford, 2025

Buy prints at: https://jeff-stanford.pixels.com/

[johndunwin]

In this image, I aimed to explore the stark beauty of the post office, focusing on the shapes and contrasts present in the space. The geometric patterns of the mailboxes give a sense of order, while the dark surroundings evoke a feeling of introspection.

[ohdorothea]

Didn’t wanna put this in OP’s tags but man I wish I was that dog

[dismembereddream]

People always throw a glittery garbage line like, 'The world’s your oyster, you know. You could do anything.'

Exactly. So stop yanking me out of my damn shell. Maybe I like it in here. Because it’s cozy, silent, and safe.

(image source: pinterest)

[yandere-yearnings]

Your ocs, out of all of them, which did you have the most fun creating? I have a lot of ocs and could spend HOURS talking ab them ugh

honestly it's the ones i barely talk abt that i've enjoyed making the most!! if i had to pick it would be between cassiel and shura, and that's less bc of them as characters and more the environment in which they thrive (??)

not to suddenly start talking abt psychology but i've always been more on the side of nurture in the nature vs nurture argument, ppl are largely a product of their experiences and surroundings, and that impact starts from a vv small scale (idk if i'd go as far as to agree w/ locke's tabula rasa view tho) so when it comes to my ocs, i really like building worlds for them and seeing how it impacts the pre-proposed personalties that i've decided on — does it change anything? how, and to what extent?

w/ cassiel and shura, they're both placed in abo aus, that are approached from different perspectives. cassiel is an alpha in an alpha-dominated society, and his darling is the same as him. whereas shura is an omega in an omega-dominated society, and his darling is not. does it impact the way they understand and feel love? have they been socialised into certain beliefs and behaviours, and is that smth they can recognise and tackle if they need to? when we bring factors of their biology and instincts ('nature') into the equation, to what degree does it make a difference?

now i'm not here to waffle abt my entire thought process while making them, but ig those are some of the reasons why i've had fun when doing so!! also being able to talk abt your ocs is super beneficial to the creative procedure imo, so i absolutely support you in that✨️