#into the washer it went

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

"hand wash cold, reshape and lay flat to dry :)", bitch you are POLYESTER and RAYON, why the FUCK are you making these care demands of me!!

[kenneduck]

RIP Pickles… (11/25/2020-6/29/2024)

You were my OG seal… and you didn’t deserve to get ripped apart by my washer today. I will forever remember the comfort you brought me after my septoplasty. Your brothers and I will forever miss you… have fun in seal heaven. 🌸💕

[faunandfloraas]

Nothing funnier to me than a fansite that horrifically white washes pics of the guys until they genuinely look like walking corpses but then will have DO NOT EDIT in all their captions like baby.... if there's anyone here who should have the editing software taken away, it's you...

[milkweedman]

Does anyone know how garter stitch behaves when felted ? Like does it mostly shrink lengthwise or will it shrink a lot width wise as well ? Considering felting my garter stitch scarf but if it lost a lot of width it wouldn't be a good of a scarf. I'm knitting on very big needles so it's a pretty loosely knit.

[incognito-lionbeast]

I think in my AU Tianlang-Jun/heavenly demons in general are a (demon world variant of) Mew. So.. essentially. Big, bad gyarados Su Xiyan saw this funny little foetus cat & was like "I can't NOT have an egg with that"

Thankfully Mew knows Transform. It's fine.

[nattoppet-dj]

sorry i disappeared i was mentally ill. still am but better.

got top surgery! recovering. lots going on

feelings are rough. emotional regulation is rough. but i'm still here

[thatdragonzeek]

My dad bought smart appliances for the kitchen and I just used the new oven for the first time and the fucker sings.

It sings when the food is done

It plays a little fucking melody.

[uwudonoodle]

My apologies to anyone at the gym who's noticed me wearing the same workout clothes 3 days in a row. They don't make many affordable workout clothes for short fat girls, and I also don't have my own washer and dryer. I'm just doing my best to maintain my body.

[amethystpath-writes]

The Forbidden Teddy

NOT A PR0MPT

TW: funny and relatable. Also, there’s a knife but like barely.

******

Lover was at the mercy of a knife’s cutting edge.

“I’ve taken the very thing you love the most,” Villain called out. “Now what will you do, Hero? Give up? Finally submit to save Lover’s life?”

“About that…” Hero grimaced. “I meant to tell you the last time you kidnapped me that there’s actually one thing I might love more than Lover.”

“What?” Lover and Villain asked simultaneously. Neither was more or less shocked than the other. In fact, they looked to each other with an additional layer of confusion. What did Hero mean? What else was there for them to love, to protect?

“Do you have family I don’t know about? That’s not possible. No hero has any family left- that’s part of their heroic requirements.”

“Oh no, you’re right.” Hero laughed with a hand on their chest. “No family left. But,” Hero stressed this last syllable. “I have Mr. Teddy the Teddy Bear, and if you touch Mr. Teddy, I might very well destroy the earth to get him back. I cannot sleep without Mr. Teddy.”

A brow had never arched so highly in all of human history. “A stuffed animal? You love a stuffed animal than…than this human being whose life is being threatened.”

Hero’s lips pulled thin. “Unfortunately, yes.”

Usually, Lover would choose to be silent in situations like these, when their life was on the cusp of non-existence. But, seeing as Villain was just as baffled, they said, “Are you serious? Are you actually joking right now? This has to be some sort of distraction, and if it is, I mean…my bad, but come on. Everyone is so confused right now, Hero.”

“No, really. I’m serious. I’ve slept without you in my arms. I have never slept without Mr. Teddy. I don’t know what I would do, Lover. I’m sorry.”

After a timeless pause, Villain shrugged. “I-I don’t even know what to do anymore.” They took the knife away from Lover. “I think this is far worse than death so…leave, I guess.” Another resounding silence passed by. Villain shook their head, looked at Hero, thought about the scenario they were in, and then…“What the hell just happened? Am I even the bad guy anymore?”

******

(A/N) I know, I know. ‘Dee, you just posted a poll about fantasy things. What the heck is this?’ This is me expressing myself, okay? This is me expressing my love to an inanimate object that will never understand my feelings towards it. ‘Dee?’ Yes, follower? ‘Are you still sleeping with a teddy bear?’ What? Wh- haha. No. No way. I’m sleeping with a teddy bear, a stuffed axolotl, a stuffed alligator, a giant stuffed monkey, and a stuffed kiwi named “Kiwi.” Get it right, you guys. A single teddy bear- ha! Who do you take me for?

[trickstarbrave]

michael kirkbride: almalexia is basically my fear of evil moms

me, someone who isnt a fucking pussy: cool well im in charge now and she’s a warrior queen with a full harem of men and women to attend to her and as a god slowly went mad embodying the divine feminine and expectations set by it and tried to overcome her guilty conscious with more and more perfection that was unattainable for any being until she fell apart at the seams and when the nerevarine killed her physical body she no longer had the strength to put herself back together to live through the hell she had unknowingly created

[quiveringdeer]

finally get the gumshan to go to laundry mat - thinking the evening will be fine like it usually is even if it's Sunday and ooooh boy was I wrong - sooo many people 😭

after putting in my load of blankets I had the bright idea to go to Walmart to see if they have any mha or pokemon merch and low and behold there are tons of ppl there too! I should know better on a Sunday but damn

i was tweakin at the self checkout line and then come to find out the box of hawiann rolls I got were either frozen and thawed horribly or some other way got wet cause the whole bottom of the paper tray was wet but didn't find out till I was in my car trynna stuff one in my mouth cause I stress eat and I wanna cry 😭

[iicraft505]

why is there water coming up in the basement 😭

[nexus-nebulae]

another childhood bucket list item obtained: i finally have a snuggie

[sparklehoard]

Fighting for my life trying to cook in my parents kitchen last night.

Got in a fight when I blocked my mother from putting a can of corn in the butter chicken I had been cooking for 2 hours

[cultivating-wildflowers]

“This light doesn’t work,” I tell my father as I pull on said light’s cord. The light turns on.

[idle-compy]

GUYS THE BUMPY SWEATSHIRT IS BACK AT HOT TOPIC AND ITS ON SALE

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