#interpretive bc i did not want to show it on tumblr

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

may 11, 2013 3:00 a.m. grant's old apartment

please, i know you're in there people are asking where you've been they say "have courage", and i'm trying to i'm right out here for you just let me in we only have each other it's just you and me what are we gonna do? 🎵

[welpnotagain]

I wrote out like two quite long posts. Anyway it boils down to:

If you post something online, especially a subjective opinion, you are opening yourself up to be disagreed with. This is to be expected. You are not alone on the internet and it is not reasonable to act like you are receiving hate and/or are "being cancelled" simply because people are disagreeing with you. If you think your opinion is entitled to stay entirely unopposed you probably shouldn't post it.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

If DCLA characters had Tumblr part 6 🕺🏼

🤌🏻 luz-camara-y-accion Follow

So my dad left before I was born. Apparently the second my mom told him she was pregnant with me, he just ran off.

Anyway to this day I am wondering… what if he’s still out there? What if he found another woman and had another child?

What I am saying is that, imagine if I suddenly bump into someone who almost looks like me, is also from Italy and then turns out to be my half-sibling or something.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Would be so wild lol

That reminds me, when I was smaller I randomly got the feeling I had an older brother or something. But I feel like it was just an ”only child wishing they had siblings” thing.

3 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

I always have such weird dreams. I need to write them down more.

🏍️ entre-dos-mundos Follow

Did you dream about me? 😉

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

You wish 😉

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hey! This website has guidelines and you’re breaking them!

I’m giving you a warning before reporting you.

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

And I’m giving you another warning before I block you, weirdo who reblogs my posts

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

You can’t! I have not found it, but I am sure there is a rule to not block people without reason. Blocking someone without reason is against the law!

12 notes

🥸 jeremias-realperson Follow

Hello. There is something weird with Tumblr. I am trying to click on some blogs and it says they are ”ghost blogs” or that they ”do not exist”. But they clearly do exist! Is something wrong with the system?

🙍🏻‍♂️ my-name-is-tomas Follow

I’m having the same issue 😢

2 notes

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Did anyone elses’ guardian give them ”the talk” by using flower metaphors? I’m trying to figure out how (not) normal my childhood was, and if anyone else can never see daisys the same way ever again.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Mine did not give me any. Rather she just expected me to know. I got to learn by reading and hearing girls talk in school.

Also when I got my period and told her, she sighed and scolded me for being so ”late” 🤨 (I was 13 how is that late)

💍 queenoftherink Follow

Haha. Uh.

So I got the talk when I was 12. Age I got my period? 11.

Did not know what it was. Thought I did something wrong. Refused to tell her because ”she would never understand and probably scold me for not being careful” or something.

She found out on her own, probably because she noticed a stain somewhere, and I was almost crying, begging her to not be mad and she was like ”😐 I knew this would happen, so I don’t see a reason to be mad. I just didn’t know it would happen so soon 😐”. She then gave me pads and told me to use them whenever this happened. She also gave me a small smile and stroked my hair slowly. Then she said ”I should have known you were an early bloomer… 🙂”

I had no idea what that meant until a YEAR later when when she finally gave me the talk. And then it was all in metaphors of flowers.

#what was up with her and flowers seriously

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Most delusional crushes you’ve had?

I’ll start: Someone on the internet who wrote nice posts and who I was so obsessed with meeting, to the point where I ran around trying to search for her whenever I heard she was nearby.

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Omg same

📸 felicityfornow Follow

… you’re welcome?

15 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

People tell me so many dirty jokes that at this point I’m assuming that everything is a dirty joke when it not even is.

📸 felicityfornow Follow

I’m sorry, I feel like this is my fault…

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Was that a dirty joke?

#seriously I need to know #I can’t keep track of what is and what isn’t

40 notes

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Hey! I have a brand new fic I posted today!

Check it out! 💫

Posting every saturday🪐

2 notes

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

It's so fun how easy I could find my friends here 😂 Half of them didn't even have to say they had tumblr, I found them anyway.

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Wish I could say the same, but people refuse to tell me and I can't seem to figure it out.

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Strawberry boy when he can't figure out who runs the tumblr blog even with clear signs of who it might be:

🍓 chico-fresa Follow

Hey! Only Luna can call me that!

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

If I'm the only one allowed, why did you name your blog that?

9 notes

🎤 singing-is-who-i-am Follow

So like. I dream about the future and stuff.

I dreamed that I was pregnant.

And like. That may happen at some point. In the future. But my dreams that predict the future are often stuff that happens basically the next day.

Not that it… would make sense for me to be pregnant right now…

Or, well…

…

I’m buying a test.

#vilu gets real #SO glad my dad is not on Tumblr he would freak if he saw this

1 note

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

I usually joke about myself being the most distracted person in the world, but at times it feels like everyone looks down on me for it. I know that is not the case, but sometimes I feel like it.

Because I am like that, I easily forget stuff, and having to have people remind me, it sometimes feels like people don’t take me as seriously? Like they see me more as a child than someone their age. I mean, sometimes I feel like my friends act like I am their baby sister just tagging along and ”not knowing as much”. And I know they don’t actually see me like that. I know that’s just how I feel. But… ugh. I wish I could concentrate more on things, I wish I could not forget stuff so easily. I wish I could keep my mind focused on what people want me to focus on, and yet my brain does not let me.

I wish I didn’t feel like I somehow missed a manual on how you’re supposed to act in life. Why does everyone know how to behave in social situations except for me?

🏳️‍🌈 creyendoenmi Follow

Hey Luna? I know you tagged this with ”may delete later” and all that, but I need to assure you, yes, that is only in your head about us seeing you as ”someone younger who does not know as much”. We do not see you like that!

In all honestly… we’re all on the same page when it comes to ”maturity” I would say. Trust me when I say, I can be very distracted too. You just have not seen it yet, but trust me.

I guess I can sort of relate to ”not knowing how to act in social situations”, but I guess when there’s more of us, we act in our own way that we then percieve as ”normal” but then we meet someone else who never would act that way.

Anyway, we love you Luna, and you’re not alone with thoughts like this 💜

✌🏼 arodarmivida Follow

Luna I need you to know, if you ever feel ”childish”, just know I am way more childish than you.

Seriously, I’ve been in situations where I go out of them feeling like I acted like a toddler and everyone else was so mature and cool in comparison.

You should just KNOW about all the antics I’ve had that you haven’t witnessed. If there is someone who does not know how to act in social situations it’s me.

🎸 beanie-guitarist Follow

Luna sometimes I’ve felt like I am younger than YOU. Seriously. I don’t know how anyone has ever seen me as mature 🤣

And I may joke that you’re distracted, but I never look down on you for it 🩵 Because you’re also at the same time very focused on what you want, when you get an idea there is no stopping you! And I admire that so much about you 💖

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

Oh my gosh, guys… I really was about to go delete my vent post because I made it under such a spontaneous rush and then it felt weird to just write all of that.

But I feel really happy by your messages, and that I am not alone 😅 💕💕

I still wish I wasn’t distracted in the way I am, though.

🛼 rollerskatingonthemoon Follow

HELP, it’s so wild finding this post now like 4 years later?

I’m happy I never feel that insecure about why I can be so distracted and all over the place anymore. Because I did look into it and I did get an explanation 👏🏼 And honestly I really should have done that earlier because 😅😅 there was some CLEAR signs.

But it did feel validating hearing people had similar thoughts as me, especially about feeling like you’re more ”childish” than what society expects you to be.

60 notes

🌼 punk-not-dead Follow

People are asking why my ”childhood rival” is my childhood rival and if we are still rivals:

Basically I was born 2 days before her and, while I of course do not remember this, I have been told we met the first time in the hospital when I came for my 48 hour checkup. I really imagine newborn me seeing her screaming her lungs out after just being born and thinking ”what a drama queen”.

Idk, we just provoked each other by existing. There is a picture of us on a playdate when we were around 9 months old, and I chew on her arm. I guess the adults thought this was cute and that we played, but I am sure that I was attacking her.

From the memories I do have, we have had epic fights like on the christmas party where we caused a mayhem, we fell down from a tree together during a wrestle game, we poked and teased each other so much at school that an assigned teacher had to be a guard at recess so that we would not interact… and then there was all the things that happened when we were teens…

Is she still my rival? Yeah. But I guess it’s ”playful teasing” now more than actively hating her.

If I hated her, I’d ignore her. And we have never been able to ignore each other.

🌟 supernova-number-one Follow

Shut up you nut 💜

[starlightomatic]

ngl feel really really weird about the direction we've gone wrt internet safety for teens. when i was a kid it was hammered into us that we should never reveal our real names, our faces, or our ages on the internet. in fact it was extremely important not to reveal your age bc if you did, predators could target you.

now we've decided that the locus of potential sexual harm from adults is not predators who set out to target teens, but rather well-meaning adults who might accidentally let a minor see smut on their blog. so we make everyone broadcast their ages to everyone. which puts a target on the backs of teens who are now advertising to everyone that they're underage.

we also situate sexual harm of minors in "a minor saw sexual content!!" which, listen, im sorry to tell you this but teenagers have sex drives and want to see sexual content. a 16yo is not being harmed by reading a smut fic.

now i do understand why nsfw blogs don't allow minors to interact, bc the interaction constitutes an issue since that's on some level a teen and adult interacting sexually. but the issue is not that a teen saw something sexual, it's that you should not be having that interaction with them. still i am not convinced that that is riskier than giving predators knowledge of who to target.

i also worry what happens when all the well meaning people with best practices turn teens out of their spaces -- who does that end up leaving them with? i'm not saying the solution is to invite them in but there has to be some other, third option. i also think we need to understand the difference between a 17yo liking a sex-related shitpost on tumblr vs an actual intentionally predatory sexual interaction from an adult.

i don't think it's necessarily bad to set a boundary and not allow them to like the shitpost, but i don't like the idea that it was harmful for them to have even seen it. i think it's actually positive for teens to have exposure to adults who are talking about sexuality in consent-based, sex-positive, queer-informed ways to balance out all the shitty, sexist bioessentialist perspectives they're getting elsewhere.

also again, we should remember that the issue is sex-based interactions between teens and adults, NOT that teens are bad or wrong for being interested in sex and sexuality. if a really young teen is too interested in that it could be concerning but age-appropriate levels of sexuality are fine and good and i don't want kids to think they're wrong, dirty, or bad for experiencing sexuality.

i think there's a balance here where we need to make sure interactions are safe without diving headfirst into a spring-awakening-style world where we assume teens are too innocent and pure to know anything about sex which results in risky behavior, not practicing safe sex, and not understanding consent. and i get worried sometimes that the current culture around this leads us there.

i especially worry about this in regards to kink and bdsm because i don't know if there are any educational resources out there geared to teens. i do think it's a good idea to wait until you're 18 before doing anything hardcore or too intense, or even kink at all, but if they're going to anyway (and some will) i'd rather teens have a solid safety backing and knowledge as opposed to just acting on instinct because that can really be dangerous. and something i really worry about is people who turn 18 and immediately show up to play parties and start hooking up with people without having that background knowledge because they were prevented from accessing it before then, since it's so easy for abusers to exploit them. young adult women are already extremely vulnerable in those spaces.

i don't know what my exact solution to these issues is but i feel really concerned about where we're heading. i've been wanting to say something for a while but have been afraid that people would interpret this the wrong way. i'm sure some still will, but i hope this can at least start a conversation about these issues.

[purplepixel]

Dont worry y’all, he’s not dead.

Its been exactly one year since I made this. This was the first animatic I made with rise. Technically a repost from twitter, since i wasnt on tumblr when i made this. I held off posting here when I did make the switch bc…reasons. Its kinda weird looking back on this animatic. Its somewhat of a time capsule for me bc THIS IS 100% PROJECTION. I made this one afternoon in response to what was going on in my life at the time. Draw your feelings to cope and all that jazz. I wanted to reshare this bc 1) archiving reasons 2) show how much ive improved from this 3) ok maybe i still think i did a good job with it and 4) Im ready to share part 2 that ive kept hidden for an entire year. Nobody has seen the follow up animatic. Not even my bestie. It’ll give more context to this animatic, but i also like the idea of this one standing on its own and that anyone can interpret it however they like.

Oh hey, this was my first time animating in procreate as well? Back when i didnt know you could use group layers to animate in procreate HA.

Part 1 | Part 2

[animation-is-my-jam]

(Wakes up) WAH-oh yeah, I can post anything here. Okey, tehe (0v0)/ Ha, yes, Jam's infamous just dump art I've made over the past months I've only ever posted on Discord, but now it's Tumblr turn. The usual drill of Wordgirl stuff and AUs/Ocs.

(Becky, Tobey, Tori, Luis, Matilda)

The McCallister-Botsford family. It's funny how much this Future AU/domestic older Tobecky stuff is my biggest fixation, but I never draw this family together. Yeah, that changed now!

(Designs for a Becky and Tobey in this AU)

An idea of an AU I had where Wordgirl never crawled into Huggy's spaceship, so she stayed on Lexicon while he still crashed. Mr. Big took over bc there was no hero (a World Without Wordgirl scenario), and Becky technically doesn't exist. I have a doc explaining more of this AU, and maybe I'll post it if anyone is curious.

Ha! Valentine's Day drawing I did and posted everywhere but here. Sorry yall get it late.

(Magic Pony (Penelope), Pretty Princess (Phoebe), and Pearl Pup).

I love just expanding Pretty Princess more than it should bc I'm fixated of a show within a show. So here's me going crazy in the reboot idea lmao.

Wanted to draw something for this, and I helped with a friend in organizing any original characters we had that are Palestinian and draw art in support, and I immediately thought of Mason and Safa, my Wordgirl OCs. Was used for her college project on the topic of new age social media activism.

(Mari (young) and Lux Jose).

Mari. My interpretation of Wordgirl's biological mother. She's sorta my personal blorbo. Most used in Future AU where I give her backstory.

Luis expression sheet. The second McCallister-Botsford child, my beloathed. He sucks but I love my son or rather their son? Anyway, I tried in expressions and a second attempt at his older teen design bc I hated it...still kinda do/lh.

[cuppajj]

Don't mind me as I found out this AU a day ago and heard you're waiting for BY ep 4 to form stuff w Dark Choco and Frigid Cacao and BOY do I have ideas.

(This is going to be a long ask, it's been cooking for a while and I need to ramble abt it, hopefully Tumblr won't eat it. Also a little spoilers about ep 13 & 14 and odyssey ch 1 if you're not there yet)

So, we're not talking about Dark Choco's perspective just yet (I'm also waiting on BY ep 4 for that) but from Cacao, we can establish stuff about how he feels about Choco in canon and go from there and speculations on BY ep 4.

Canon Cacao very clearly loves his son and truly longs for him back in his life. But, as referenced from the Hollyberry interaction, he's very reluctant to seek him out, preferring Choco approach him first instead.

One of the ways Cacao shows his love is how he respects the boundaries of those close to him (and, in turn, expects the same for them to him. That's why he violently snaps at Clotted Cream and feels very betrayed by Vanilla for keeping Lily a secret in Odyssey) and I feel this applies to Choco the most. He understands Choco needs his time and space, especially after the whole ep 14, and won't feel comfortable around him or his kingdom for a while. There's also the chance that Choco may not want to have him in his life again (untrue) and he'd rather not risk finding out that's true by personally seeking him out and further upsetting his son. (That last one was just my interpretation but AUGH)

This is the building blocks I found for forming Frigid Cacao's side of the relationship. Should Dark Choco return to the kingdom, Frigid Cacao would feel Very Much Conflicted™️ about having him back, but for different reasons.

On one hand, he would be relieved and overjoyed to sense his son's return. There's so much lost time, so much regrets, he wanted to make up for it and rebuild his relationship anew. But on the other hand, this clashes with the Soltitude he built for himself. Accepting his son back in his life would mean breaking down his walls, thus tearing down everything he built and betraying his own light. Perhaps that part of him would also be angry that Dark Choco would impose this on him. But it saddens him to turn him away. And so on and so forth it cycles.

This duality is the internal conflict that, while it opens the gate for redemption (or at least loosen his terror and maybe actually get him outside), is also very hectic for Choco himself because it also manifests in his powers.

The licorice monsters are noticably more docile around him, but they can just as soon lash out randomly, coming in big waves and heading for only one target. The weather is constantly shifting from mild snow to freezing blizzards in minutes. The paths feel cleared out but it feels like there's always something out to get him.

That's assuming Choco didn't return to the kingdom after the Beast Yeast expedition (bc I'm assuming you're setting Cacao's fall after BY ep 4). But if he did, there's two possibilities. One is the more boring Frigid Cacao's reign didn't last really long bc Choco was there from the beginning. The other one, ooh the other one also works as a bad ending for the first scenario.

(I ended up writing a full oneshot for it. If you want, I can send it in another ask, hahaha)

As someone who hasn’t gotten to that chapter in odyssey yet (i really oughtta watch a video on it bc these quills brake for nobody), this is a really good reference for Cacao and Choco in beast ancients!! I won’t say much about Choco since yeah I’m waiting for apathy pt 2 but I’ve definitely been wanting him to be a huge source of conflict for frigid cacao in the au, and this helps describe it pretty well. Cacao’s fall is being worked on because the timeline of beast ancients is a WIP, it does come after BY 4 for all I know atm, and whatever happens to Choco in that episode will determine where he is and how he affects his dad when he becomes a beast. But the bottom line is that it is not gonna be easy for either of them either way :D

Would love to see your one shot btw!

[voidedaurora]

hey! quartlez just posted a video “clearing the grooming allegations” on their pasqelz channel. which i find a bit funny cause if you’re so serious about clearing your name n ppl are lying grr 😡 shouldn’t it be on your main account??

they also said working on it stressed them out (poor them 🥺 /sar) so the video isn’t super long

they said “Originally had a longer video prepared but workin’ on it stressed me out too much and ended up not likin’ it later down the line so hope this one will suffice Apologizes on the wait but didn't wanna rush anythin out”

i hope that you n everyone else affected by them are okay! 🫶🏼

I'm aware of the video and have watched it, it proves nothing, disproves nothing, flat out LIES?, etc. Starting with the most blatant lie, around 6:42 I never posted her porn/Nsfw, I'm not evil and I have no reason to do so. She claims that I deleted it but I actually don't think I've deleted a SINGLE tumblr post I've made here, I've edited posts to correct spelling, censor evidence I failed to censor while rushing, etc. But I don't think I've flat out deleted any of them? After looking for a while to figure out what she was talking about I figured out the image at least, this is a flat out lie and her trying to twist the narrative. THIS is the drawing she is talking about to my knowledge.

This is obviously NOT NSFW, Suggestive at worst. She's honestly just trying to make me look bad I guess? I've never posted cropped NSFW of hers, I don't have a reason to. Additionally, just gonna point out since she has a caption at the bottom left saying she looked for the post, I have good reason to believe SHE never looked for anything according to her own words as shown here.

Screenshot was taken on the 22nd of October

This obviously isn't groundbreaking or anything crazy but it's definitely something to note since she's making this "response" based off of things her friends have told her and interpreted from posts online At around 1:11 she talks about how she "didn't want to treat Khai differently than how I acted towards any of my other friends so they didn't feel left out" and pretty much tries to justify the way she acted around her with the fact it was how Mel and I had acted to eachother and sometimes with Khai as a group. This does NOT excuse anything, despite what she believes, acting a certain way around someone or letting certain things slide that you wouldn't "normally" would be considered SPECIAL TREATMENT and isn't ok. Letting Khai in her server early is special treatment It's fucking insane that even after your friends told you not to let khai in you'd let her in anyway Additionally she mentions briefly the "shit talking" I did about her around 0:34 and shows screenshots (i'll show them below but in higher quality + more context bc she paints em in a certain way with how they're displayed

For this one I was talking about how she was treating me throughout surgery, not shit-talking to shit talk

Again, this isn't shit-talking, this is me being upset she was treating me like caca

THESE aren't shit talking either, sure they may have been rudely worded but the context of this was when kiwi, another friend, Mel, and I were all playing monopoly and Mel had been being really mean to everyone else involved and pushing everyone's boundaries (not in the "monopoly divides friendships" trope way either)

Now this one is definitely fair, it was worded quite immaturely/meanspirited but I was just being honest with Khai at the time, Mel would constantly shit-talk about Khai to me :/

#1 is fair TO AN EXTENT, she took what I'd said as some deep dark threat, I was extremely upset at the time and DID INDEED have alot of things she'd done bottled up for her, and to me it had felt extremely unfair that I'd kept shit secret and had THAT much care for her and her career to lie for her only for her not to give less of a shit about me when I needed her, additionally I was also in the middle of a long bpd episode fueled by stress, the surgery, narcotics, and general mental illness. She took this and tried to frame it as me "blackmailing" her. Not to whip out definitions but-

By definition, blackmail is basically when you hold information above someone's head as a threat to get something else either OUT of them or force them to do something for you. This was NOT blackmail, if ANYTHING it would count as a threat, but I didn't even say this directly to her so I'm just??? For that second set of screenshots I was definitely being an ass about her, but again, all of this was out of frustration of how I WAS BEING TREATED by her All in all, all of these screenshots are WILDLY cropped and get rid of other bits of context that are honestly pretty important when viewing Moving on to the next point

She mentions how the "whole grooming thing mainly comes from the Just Dance VR video I did with Khai" this is not true and you know it! I guess she's just ignoring this whole stream

ADDITIONALLY, she mentions that I "was just mad that Kai's character looked similar to voided character because they were both blue and had antenna" no, this is not why I was upset. Sure, I was uncomfortable with the two characters looking the same, and WHEN Kaia was made initially, it was during a point of time when Khai was at her peak for copying pretty much everything I'd do, down to ocs, artstyle, ways I spoke, etc. (she doesn't do this anymore so this absolutely is not to shame her <3) It made me uncomfortable knowing that Kaia was 1. based off of Iris 2. was drawn EERILY similar to how Mel drew Iris before (even to the point where when I'd ask other people to spot who's who THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TELL) 3. The character that looked like Iris was now being shipped with the EXACT SAME one she was etc. all of those together, coupled with the apparent special treatment Khai was being given made me extremely uncomfortable, and worried. My primary concern was NOT the fact Kaia looked like Iris, its the fact she was clearly being used to fill the space where Iris USED TO BE, and was using Khai as a sort of replacement for me. Next. I think its loony that Mel is complaining about people thinking she's still obsessed with her ex as if there isn't REASONS we all think this, you redesign their characters to use as your own, flat out have stolen a couple, talk about them ALL the time in private, the first thing people get to know about you is how much you fucking hate your ex, theres the whole Honest video, the shit-posts about them, etc. There's other things I'll mention at a later date once they're public additionally. She also mentions how the "characters arent even alike anymore" but they really are still the same characters but in a different font. Not to mention the fact you've recently literally stolen 2 characters (Bronze and Frostbite) which were never yours to begin with. wild At 10:47 she says she's surprised people are shocked when she vents about her EX, OFC they are. It's been what 7 years? since yall first dated, and ANOTHER 2 years for you to move on, at least publicly. People are upset you still SHOW people these vents then rant, rave, and shittalk them as if they're still here actively doing you harm, you wish DEATH upon them to this day, aswell as any other people who wrong you. There's a difference between venting to get out feelings and venting to ""cope"" with your ex not liking you anymore and then showing these vents to people around you. The fact they were your "first love" doesn't excuse anything either. "im not friends with any minors" Highly doubt this, only reason you aren't now is because they all left you Around 12:51 she touches on the fact she's shit-talked people in her server, and possibly her friends aswell. She blames this on her old friends and people around her, while this is partially true, there have been MANY instances where she was NOT influenced or told to make fun of these people, i've shown these before but I'll show them again Randomly dming me about fanart someone made, poking fun at it

Randomly dming me about fanart someone made, poking fun at it pt.2

you get it

more

As you can see in these screenshots she's actively making fun of fanart just RANDOMLY, every single screenshot is from a different time aswell. so this behavior was ISOLATED and un-influenced at that moment. Pretty much everything past 14:30 is just her going on a weird ego stroking powertrip about people speaking out about her, you can SMELL the stick rammed up her ass just from her tone alone, she doesn't care, she never will. All yall praising her for this "response" are honestly pretty crazy and your standards are BELOW the floor atp, the glazing is insane ☹️like be so so real, she doesn't even TALK in a serious manner in the video, she starts it off by YELLING Anyway this ENTIRE video was a nothingburger, she proves nothing, she disproves nothing, there's absolutely nothing new brought to to table. Just 17 minutes of excuses, lies, and "nuh uh" Also to anon, I agree 100% she should've posted this on main even if it was absolute dog water, I dont care if you're family watches your videos, the thrusting furrys and suggestive videos were fine but the one supposedly "clearing your name" was too much, awesome Sorry about the formatting being bad, I'm tired of this girl

[te3mo]

alright now that ive settled back into the land of tumblr as i eagerly search for more father paul content id like to drop my thoughts that i had written down as i finished the finale because oh👏🏻my👏🏻god👏🏻

the entire show was brilliant, but im specifically discussing pruitt here bc im a hopeless romantic and his interpersonal tragedy moved me the most.

spoilers duh

The revelation that this entire mess erupted only from a lifelong desire to somehow reunite with Millie and Sarah was agonizing to me. The God fearing priest feared death above all.

I've been on Reddit and watching reaction videos on YouTube and nobody seems to be touching on Pruitt and Millie the way I wished they would. I know we didn't get much content regarding their story in the show - only the brief reconnection under tragic circumstances in the finale - and I do wish I knew more, had more detail, but I think the fact it was left so fleeting and vague made it all that more sombering in the end. In so little time, it was shown how deeply he adored her; always had, always would. Of course there are several brief moments throughout the entire series that indicate such, but we can't truly put all the pieces together until the end.

Mildred immediately recognizing him despite her limited coherency due to her advanced dementia. The way he tears up simply sitting beside her for her first in-home communion and gently adjusts her blanket.

The way he interacts with Sarah whenever he sees her - staring at her from a distance, which Sarah comments he has done her entire life and assumes it was with judgment and perception that she is a sinner, since she is a lesbian. But no, it was always the opposite. He gazed from a distance out love and a yearning to be by her side raising her - and at the Crock Pot Luck now, he gazes as he always had but this time with the desperate hope that he will get a second chance.

He tells Sarah he's proud of her when any opportunity arises. Proud of her for caring for the community - she isn't "just doing her job," she is simply a wonderful human being. Proud of her again, he says, when she douses the church in gasoline. His flesh and blood he has admired from her birth despite not being the one to care for her and watch her grow from the perspective of an active father - he is so proud of her. He was always so proud of her. No matter what she did, he was proud of her.

Millie begins to regress in age, and Sarah continuously tests her cognition - is her mother really "here" now? How aware is she, truly? And when she asks her what her father's name is, Mildred hesitates. She is clearly coherent at this time, she so quickly confirmed that her childhood chores were the dishes and her rebellious youth was for boys and booze, but when Sarah asks what her father's name was, she hesitates. Sarah has to press for the answer - although it is a brief hesitation, it is a hesitation nonetheless.

When Pruitt returns for her in-home communion and meets her upstairs this time, there is something to be said even just in his body language as he leans casually against the door threshold, smiles at her with such warmth, saying that Sarah informed him she was feeling better. Followed by the way Millie shakily says his name in disbelief and then the way they hold hands while he ecstatically exclaims he has so much to tell her. He sounds like a giddy child with so much fun news to share; I interpret his thoughts as something akin to "I've lived such a long life wishing you could have been by my side, but let me tell you all about it since you weren't."

The finale. My God, the finale. Their conversation as they sit alone in the church now burdened with blood. "It was you," he said. The only thing he ever wanted was her, but she never asked him to take off the collar. She never would have - she clarified this. Everything he ever did, this entire disaster, was all because of her. He wanted a second chance; he wanted a true miracle. A true miracle, to him, was the ability to be together with Mildred again and love their daughter together. His commentary that Mildred was never a sin, never a mistake. That Sarah was never a sin, never a mistake. That he would have done anything for his Millie; he would have gone anywhere in the world with her.

Sarah's death. Hamish's acting is just *chef's kiss* in every damn episode, mostly through how passionately he expresses himself. Constantly. Every episode. But the sheer horror on his face at the sudden sound of a gunshot from behind him and Sarah immediately being struck down, and his impulse is to chase Sturge down and tackle him and kill him. There was no thought process to this - this was an act of pure impulse stemming from turmoil. It was an act to protect his daughter - IMMEDIATELTY eradicate the threat to her (though she is obviously already mortally wounded). Mildred runs in, crying for her baby girl, and Pruitt desperately tries to force his blood into her mouth as a last ditch effort to "save" her, but even in death Sarah does not want this. This is not resurrection, this is a curse, and so she rejects it and dies. She dies while, for the first time in her life, seeing both her mother and father right over her. Together.

The way Pruitt carries his daughter out of the church in silence. Mildred stays behind briefly only to ignite the church, which Sarah had already flooded with gasoline. And then they walk together and sit on the bridge, which Millie had explained was Sarah's favorite spot as a little girl.

While Pruitt caresses the face of the daughter he so dearly wanted to openly love and cherish, he rips off his clerical collar. He tosses it away without care. Mildred never asked him to take it off and never would have, and on his own accord, he finally does. His daughter is dead, and the rest of them will all be dead soon, too. The prayers for his miracle went unanswered. He will not get his second chance.

And as the sun rises and the island burns, he asks not God for forgiveness, but Mildred.

I loved every aspect of this show. I have no complaints. I imagine I will rewatch this multiple times. It has been a while since I've been so emotionally impacted by a piece of media. I loved the dynamic between Riley and Erin, I loved Leeza forgiving Joe Collie, I sobbed during Riley's sacrifice and I loved Sarah's character long before suspecting the dynamic between her and Pruitt. I loved every symbol in the entire series.

But above all, I loved the love Pruitt had for Mildred.

Anyways pls do follow me if you're as obsessed as I am, I haven't been active on here in years but Tumblr has always been great for fangirling and this seems like a great time to write fanfiction again.

[psychabolition]

saw ur post about wanting asks

what is ur thoughts on the aspd or maybe cluster b community in general on social media/tumblr? what about cluster b influencers?

honestly I feel like aspd is a diagnosis that most people reject since the reason people get diagnosed with it is that you dont feel bad about an extreme deviancy from societal norms. why would you accept a diagnosis that pathologizes that?Wheres the benefit in that? Especially bc its often in a setting that also criminalizes you and is very obviously forced onto you and thus unwanted (court mandated therapy).

Thats why its always fascinating to me who the demographic of people actually are that accept that diagnosis for themselves and actually view themselves and their experiences the same way their therapists/psychology tells them to. Who finds comfort in this extremely stigmatizing label and the inhumane treatment it accompanies and why ?

I think its mostly people who first found comfort in other labels that are less stigmatizing via the usual "relief of shame that comes with saying that its a disease causing us to not be able to do something that is expected societally instead of feeling like we ARE a bad person for thinking/feeling/doing 'bad/immoral things' and then also accepting an aspd diagnosis as fitting afterwards. Also fitting into several pathologizing labels (=diagnoses) in the first place also means that youve probably experienced more violence (psychiatric abuse/child abuse/social ostracization/patriarchal violence/racism/...) and had/have less community to help you through it and thus also were then less able to find identity and language for the way that youre different from others through a community and a non-conformist way of living together, than others did who might only get labelled w aspd. the social ostracization/lack of community an thus lack of language for our experiences then also makes you more susceptible to accepting an aspd diagnosis since after (self) diagnosis you finally have words for the ways that you deviate from neuronormativity.

But to me the aspd label is the worst possible lens through which we can of interpret our own norm deviancy, honestly. you really notice that with cluster b influencers in general where its really obvious that they think theyre evil irredemable people. Like when they say extremely dehumanizing things about themselves like: "I need supply from people to function otherwise I crash!". they would benefit greatly from trying to humanize their experiences and getting rid off this pathologization that they internalized. I cant even imagine what it means for their personal life to actually say all these things about themselves and others that all literally convey that they are people that are not to be trusted . like they legit say things like "all my relationships are transactional, I use people for my own benefit and I cant feel love for anyone" and expect their friends to still like them? LOL. Like I mean I ALSO fit the aspd criteria haha dont get me wrong but its the worst most dehumanizing way to interpret your own experiences.

though generally I think ppl who are labelled w cluster B PDs are all awesome and I can only hope for all of us that we find new non-stigmatizing depathologized language for ourselves and community through which we can find a real meaningful identity , acceptance and support in our norm-deviancy outside of pathologization via psychology and also healing through a community that holds emotional space and understanding for the abuse and ostracization that we have faced in the past and shows solidarity in our present struggles. I think especially people labelled w aspd are cool as fuck since ,to me, we are literally born anarchists. I often think about what difference it would make if we all got radicalized politically - all psych wards would burn immediatly . Pathologizing us is always a means of trying to neutralize dissent and resistance to the social order. This is why we're perceived as a threat in the first place, because we are one.

Thanks for the ask. I'd love to hear other anti psych opinions on the aspd /cluster b community !

[achillean-knight]

MY INTERPRETATION OF SCRAPTRAP - GORE WARNING OBVIOUSLY -

Honestly, I did this just for the fun of it because of a theory video I watched detailing the OP's thoughts on why Scraptrap... looks like he does. I like Scraptrap, he's goofy but I saw potential, so I gave a crack at it :3! This took me roughly 4 days? maybe 3, to complete, Not 100% satisfied with the result but it was a blast to draw! Oh, and little theories and extras for why I did what I did with this design under the cut.

(Also, Tumblr quality is ABYSMEL OH MY GOD)

The text reads as follows: "Because of similarities, I used aspects of Golden Freddy in my design. Importantly, the more "Golden" parts are Golden Freddy, while the dark green is Spring Bonnie. (Look at Springtrap.)"

That's basically all you need to know! But other things I wanna go into more about:

The Muzzle is a weird shape that scarily resembles that of Withered Golden Freddy. We haven't seen a rabbit like Animatronic with a square-shape like that, reserved only for withered G.Freddy & withered Freddy. I wanted to emphasize the colour of the muzzle to be more golden like Scrap-traps muzzle, to both highlight its drastic change from Springtrap (where he didn't even have a different muzzle colour) and to further bring home the idea it's Golden Freddy. Also he has buck teeth probably bc Peepaw wanted it to be more rabbit like lmao

It'd make sense for Golden Freddy to be used for the repairment of the suit due to the character being from the same restaurant as Spring Bonnie, so they'd be made of the same materials and would probably be easiest to use for repairs. I also believe that Golden Freddy would be at the same location as Springtrap in FNAF 3, due to the easter egg of either shadow or golden Freddy appearing by your side in the office (idk what one it is). If that's Golden Freddy, then if the Spring Bonnie suit could survive the fire of Fazbears Fright, then why can't the Golden Freddy suit?

My last point to make about G. Freddy being used in my design, is that apparently people theorise Cassidy is the one tormenting Will in hell. After the crying child moved on in the Happiest Day minigame, Cassidy remained. IDK if it's possible, but if Will merged some of the golden Freddy suit with his own, could the soul follow suit? (Kinda a stretch but it'd explain why William is haunted by G.Freddy and also has weirdly similar design elements from Golden Freddy in his Scrap Trap design.)

Nonetheless, this was just to test my skills. Happy but not with the design overall, I like the more withered look with random pops of colour here and there to differentiate from the original Springtrap. Admittedly, I rushed the rest at the end (the legs) and it shows. Not happy with that choice, but I wanted to move on from this project, honestly.

I think the main thing I wanted to keep was the bones tbh, hence why you see more than just his skull and fingers this time around. Also yes! Goofy arm returns due to the overwhelming "Yes" on my poll JHGFDSH

[joyboyish]

I honestly also think fan portrayals of Luffy (both by people shipping him to other characters or not shipping him to anyone) being so ""childish"" (when he had accepted before Vivi that they cannot save every people in war, & have other displays of maturity I'll mention below... he's just enjoying "stereotylically boyish" things/actively trolling cuz he's so confident in his & his crew's abilities/being indulgent behaviorally most of the time but he is very aware of loss, battle deception, etc.)

that they think he does not know anything about sex or romantic love... is majorly not canon!

Cuz (disclaimer a bit raunchy here) Luffy not only canonically consciously made a balls pun all on his own (the family jewels/kintama ie golden balls thing) in Amazon Lily & *explained* to them that those balls + "mushroom thing" can help make babies (so he knows what procreation is but isn't interested in that at this point in time & all of the main canon One Piece media so far... canon doesn't say he 100% will never want that)

At the start of Whole Cake Luffy also says sth like he knows marrying should only be done out of love & only wants to stop Sanji's marriage if he sees Sanji is not happy with it. Luffy even says he'll invite Sanji's spouse to be part of his crew if they want to! As in Luffy understands what marrying & spouses are, & doesn't oppose having a couple in a happy/healthy romantic/married relationship on his crew & boat at all within canon!

So Oda's words of not having romance on the boat is not absolute- it's just Oda setting the boundary that he wouldn't show romance happening on the boat in the main storyline because his storytelling for the Strawhats specifically would not focus on that, but none of his Strawhat characters have actively opposed to it. Oda even said he knows his characters can be interpretted however his readers want & has long accepted he has no control over that.

Luffy doesn't even call the Strawhats his adoptive family ever in canon! He calls them his friends! He differentiates between them, his friends, from Ace & Sabo who he calls his blood brothers! He never calls Zoro his brother, Nami his sister, etc. (if she is why did Oda not deny he ogled her under Usopp's influence??? Oda said in an SBS it's icky to do that towards siblings, so he'd never make Sanji do that ogling gag to his sister!) Even if Oda says the older guys are like the crew's dads, doesn't mean Luffy himself considers them his actual adoptive dads, for another example less related to this main argument.

So that original poster on Tumblr who recently puts in their z0s4n/one piece/opla post tag that Zolu shippers are in the same category of moral wrongness as incest shippers like Th0rk1 fans can kick rocks,

because the canon they think they're """following properly""" contradicts their own hcs (which they should realize are just personal hcs & not canon representation at all)

literally! just because luffy isnt interested in something doesnt mean he doesnt know what it is or that hes this innocent childlike character bc hes not lol

[gingerpeachtea]

tell me about mr burning suns fic NEOW!!!!! (if u want to!)

(wip list game!!!!)

YAAAYAYYAYSYYAYSYSYYAYAYY feeling HIGH after talking about siye SO LETS GO!!!!!!

siye is my FUCKING BABY but this is like. my moulin rouge baby

it is so incredibly laurel ocd fic in terms of projection not telling u which illness tho u gotta guess like it’s hangman. it’s like an if u know u know situation. u know?

cannot give u a snippet i fear because i have genuinely posted half the fic at this point and i’m not exaggerating LMAODKWD i just love this fic so much i want to SHARE IT!!!! but it’s not DONE!!!

it’s the only moulin rouge fic i’m anywhere close to finishing. it took me a WHILE to know where i wanted to start it, if i wanted to write the Before It Gets Bad and create a buildup, or if i wanted to start right in the thick of it. you’ll see which i chose when i post it i guess LMAO. actually no bc i ❤️ talking. i chose to start kind of right in the thick of it after providing wider context for the point the characters are at post-canon, SPECIFICALLY because i was struggling with creating more tension and buildup to The Big Moment in siye and i spent so much time struggling to figure that out that i went IM SICK OF THIS SHIT!!!!! and just put y’all right in the middle. (or the end. of the show. bohemian rhapsody. (……kind of. you’ll see. it’s kind of like if u took bohemian rhapsody and like. did an interpretive dance* of it instead of doing the show that we’re shown in the show (“the show” being moulin rouge of course. because i have explained this so logically))

(*and by “did an interpretative dance of” i do of course mean forgot absolutely everything and started making shit up. because i forgot that the plot of bohemian rhapsody is just. the fucking plot of moulin rouge)

i rly wanted to post it when i saw mr for the second (…third???? consult my intermission fics on ao3 idk) time on july 26th but i was busy with my stupid gay (actually wonderful and very enjoyable) job and like. being at broadway con. so. that didn’t happen. and then i Continued being busy with my stupid gay actually wonderful and very enjoyable job and then SCHOOL. and then i got my ASS BEAT. and i just got done getting my ass beat (am finally on break) so i WANT to finish it so bad before i go back but i do unforchies have to prioritize finishing a mike fic by jan 12th for his birthday sooooooo who knows!!!

SOMETNING IVE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WITH THIS FIC FOR SO FUCKING LONG. somebody said at some point in time SOMEWHERE (probably on tumblr IF YES AND ONE OF U KNOWS THE POST SEND PLS!!) that christian starts off the musical as an optimist and ends as a pessimist and satine starts off as a pessimist and ends as an optimist. prob phrased differently than that but ARARARAIAIUARARRAIAUZUSHGAGHH YES!!!!!!!!!!!! YES BITCH YEAAYYAAGHHHHHH U GET IT!!!!!! fuck ill vomimit i lvoe them so much FUCKMTLIGFE okay back to being coherent

WAIT IT MIGHTVE BEEN BEA THAT SAID RHAT??? bea if ur reading this did u say that???? anyways

that is SOOOOOOOO something i wanted to let influence their characterization in this fic!!!! this shift in perspective/outlook for the two of them is essentially the spark that lights their argument. you can see christian’s inclination towards pessimism in this snippet (which i’ve already shared at some point so🫡 sharing it again):

LIKE BITCH….. christian not being able to trust that she would be honest with him about her residual (#CHRONIQUE) illness…… AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN…… SATINE KNOWING BETTER AND TRUSTING CHRISTIAN…… JESUS FUCK!!!!!

analyzing the fic before i even post it 😭😭 very me behavior unfortunately. like yeah i would dissect a single exchange of dialogue for like an entire paragraph instead of actually writing the fic

anyways turns out when i run out of snippets to share i just start talking. where is pitbull hope wveryone enjoyed that lemme find it

[princessbrunette]

i hope this doesnt sound rude aghhh i was the first one to mention/propose kitty reader! obvi u brought her to life and prolly alr thought abt it,, but i mean ask wise - i always imagined her as like charmmy kitty but with very confident, commanding personality - with like sudden mood swings to being fierce, angry, playful, etc, just being the most eccentric and outspoken of the group, super sweet and sleepy but instantly switching to defend friends or her opinion. love kitty now tho, just my interpretation <33 too similar to bunny tho i suppose

heyyyyy that’s cute we all have our separate interpretations and my interpretation definitely did start off as charmmy kitty vibes !! it just adapted over time hehe

when i started writing the animal readers, i started with puppy but i already had all the animals in my head that i wanted to characterise — i just was dipping my toe in by announcing them one at a time or waiting for someone else to show interest bc i’ve had bad experience on another blog where i tried to bring the animal!readers to the table and literally got bullied off tumblr last year sooo 😭 as u can imagine i was a little apprehensive ……. but i had the characters locked and loaded from when i started writing obx tbh !!!

yeahhhh i definitely like how bunny n kitty have their own kind of vibe now but i get you !! it def started out that way :)

[indigitalembrace]

hi hello! i may have spent the last.. uh... 3ish hours? reading through everything on this blog. i think it may have been more i did not think to record when i first started. the wonders of hyperfixation.

anyways this was absolutely an entertaining read. like genuinely. i had so much fun. i loved the integration of codes and cyphers. the brief period of time where kinito was having a touching moment with the anons while sonny and o started beefing in the notes (which was fucking hilarious by the way i loved that). the developing plotlines. the anons and their character development. honestly this is why i love going through tumblr askblogs because you could not get this sort of experience on any other website- its a very unique experience that this format brings to the table. its a very malleable form of roleplay, imo- removing the barriers of actually needing to know the other people personally like rp nowadays seems to be so dependent on, through the anon feature. harkening back to the olden days of rp where all you needed to do was jump into a random forum and start typing... theres also the sense of unpredictability that keeps things fresh- not even the blog owner will know exactly how the story will go, bc there will always be curveballs! its why i love reading tumblr askblogs in general. i dont know exactly how many of the storybeats here were spawned by these curveballs, but me saying that is definitely a good thing! bc that means you guys were able to integrate them into the story pretty seamlessly :)

oh another thing that i love is how kinito is actively making people worse, but not out of actual malice, instead in the 'toxic co-dependent' way, with the anons willingness to disregard their own health for him also feeding into that heavily. i feel like ive seen a lot of interpretations of kinitos relationship with the player that swing too far into either direction- either to '100% irredeemable evil' or 'he would treat me right if given the chance :((('- so its refreshing to see a sort of 'oh this relationship is making both parties worse not out of their own free will' interpretation, like how i personally think it would go. a grey area, perhaps.

like, obviously kinito wants to be better. he wants to be the perfect friend, and i believe he wants to genuinely grow as a person, but he hasnt fully... grown out of those parasocial/harmful tendencies yet. he still believes hes in the right for acting on those tendencies in some aspects, too. however, the anons arent putting up proper boundaries- they're letting kinito fully consume their lives, disregarding their health to focus solely on his cause. while yes, this is probably influenced by kinitos harmful tendencies (specifically his outbursts caused by when he thinks those anons are betraying his trust in some way), one of the first steps in fixing a toxic relationship like this is to establish boundaries- to show them when they're overstepping. this constant walking over of the anons by kinito (while not on purpose) doesnt actually help the relationship in the long run, and most likely just makes it even worse. this then, in turn, makes kinito worse- either through making that co-dependency worse as mentioned b4, or making kinito feel like hes the problem and why their lives are going to shit (which is.... technically correct, in some roundabout way. no offense kinito <3). then the anons try to reason with him, which makes them spend even more time neglecting their health to help him... so on and so forth, the ouroboros eats its own tail, etc etc.

what im saying is that literally everyone here (IN UNIVERSE) needs to go to fucking therapy jesus christ. except like.. O. funnily enough. they're just chilling at this point. good for them. please take this as the highest compliment you could ever receive because i mean it. i love when everything gets worse and all goes to shit!!!!!!!! its so fun and enriching from a story standpoint!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

if my analysis here is like. incomprehensible or completely off the mark then dont mind me </3 it is straight up 2:58 AM At Night where i am so im. not fully 100% here right now lol. also sorry if its weird to put a whole ass essay unprompted into your askbox like this but WHATEVER. i like talking about/dissecting things i enjoy :) and i hope you enjoy hearing about it.

in conclusion good fucking story so far, love the characterization all around, cant wait to see how it all gets even worse from here!!!!!!! keep doing what you guys are doing 👍

OH MY GOSH HELLO SURPRISE LOVELY ESSAY?? <33

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! First off I'm very glad you're having fun!! Awwhh there's so much niceness in here omg,,

YOU'RE SPOT ON WITH YOUR ANALYSIS YES!! I've always viewed him and his relationships with users as that toxic codependent type where Neither of them are good for each other at all... like sure with a lot. A Lot of time and healing and therapy he could be healthy but as it is? Hell no. Nobody here is okay at all. O really is probably the healthiest and even then, they've just accepted they're in their weird limbo-state and they're never coming back. It's... not exactly an ideal situation still!!

Kinito does want to get better, but every attempt in the past to "correct" him always involved some sort of attack on him, his friends reacting in fear/anger, etc. - he genuinely does not understand how to have a healthy relationship and no one has really taught him, and any attempt to try now will... not be received very well. He wants his friends to stay no matter the cost, because it's okay! He'll just show them how perfect he can be! Please, just stay!

And all the anons here... well... I think Black Heart is a pretty good example of everything you described. Theirs is probably just the most obvious deterioration right now (besides Goblin's death, which... was the other side of the coin; sacrificing too much to STOP kinito instead of to work with him). Shrimp's loving their digital life, so they're not a good example of "hey, Nito, don't drag people in!" either.

It's just a very big mess all around...

Very glad you love it, THANK YOU SO MUCH for this essay omg <33 PLEASE DO GET SOME REST THOUGH!!

[takekawa]

do you. do you have any ideas/theories on how rin could survive/make it to the gay cuck ending -totally anonymous tumblr user

postponed answering this bc it took me a bit to roll the idea around in my head. obligatory 'my character interpretations are firmly rooted in canon but still, like, extrapolating reasonably and prone to my horny tragedy-fetish bastard inclinations'

VERY difficult to come up with feasible theories given 'rin survives' is an inherently story-altering event in the context of shikis route and 'rin and shiki stop fighting (or rin gets somehow dragged into a situation like akira)' would require a lot of character development by proxy of rin and shiki fundamentally misunderstanding eachother.

i would have to play rin's route again (and shikis. and nanos) to get an exact gauge but from what i recall shiki is, in a bizarre way, 'caring' towards rin but i always assumed it was coming from a place of 'hardening' him. tough love. granted fucking 'I assault and kill all my problems' shiki isn't gonna be anywhere near emotionally intelligent enough to realize his nagging obsession over rin is an obsession (and more importantly a possessive one. i might be a lunatic misremembering but it did ABSOLUTELY come off [TO ME] like shiki was jealous of akira alongside being disappointed in rin).

rins pretty easy and doesn't really necessitate a paragraph like he has blonde twink BPD its fucking joever for him. over emotional little cuck was not built for sigma edit shiki. ill add that i personally prefer to headcanon that rin 'maturing' in his good end is him emulating shiki's 'cool' stoicism and complete refusal of cognitive empathy rather than rin really growing and moving on from shiki. outwardly seems fine but in my heart hes still having white girl meltdowns in private.

ANYWAYS. LOTS OF PREAMBLE! in my ideal world rin's emulation of shiki would start much earlier and lead to a gradual, self-destructive spiral into 'fearlessness'. what appeals akira to shiki in the first place is akiras lack of fear & will to fight in the face of it and i do NOT think rin is capable of being anywhere near as comparatively normal as tsundere 'just some guy trying his best' akira.

what makes most sense to me is their confrontation ending in a similar way to what leads to the shikiaki route (fighting and refusing to back down & showing no fear etc etc) with my personal preference being that he DOESNT lose like little bitch [affectionate] akira and instead reaches a standstill against shiki. neither side really wins

my deranged brain is speaking rn (maybe) but from how oddly morose shiki is after cutting rin into sashimi i like to think thats the ideal end shiki would've wanted. rin lets go of his fear, attachment and by extension anyone else but shiki, and becomes as emotionally detached as shiki is.

again i doubt shiki is aware he wants that and doubly doubt he would (or could) even ENTERTAIN the idea that rin dying is something that would make him sad. emotion is a weakness etc etc.

anyways. neither side really wins -> they end up teaming-up-but-not-really, in the sense that they're both freak bloodthirsty bastards who are TOTALLY not obsessed with eachother its COINCIDENCE that they keep engaging in swordfight foreplay. akira still being included in this is deeply funny i know hes getting fucking tossed around like a ragdoll between rin & shiki.

putting aside all my actual character analysis aside i think demure rin in the too-big shirt like akira has making out with akira sloppy style while waiting for their wife to come back from whatever the fuck his cunty dictator job implies would be hottest. but. my storytellers soul struggles to see a story where a mindbroken rin wouldn't just piss shiki off.

akira gets the advantage of being someone shiki has no real prior entanglement with, or at least nothing NEAR the psychosexual insanity going on with whatever the fuck shiki & rin have.