#internally screaming about these assholes 24/7

[twink-with-an-agenda]

im just scrolling through your blog and all the posts abt the dios apate trio are making me LOSE MY MIND i love them so much they're so fucked up and deranged in the perfect way can't believe they're dead sometimes i can still hear their voice

YEAHH so glad someone else has severe brainrot over these ancient bastards! There's just so much there to analyse... so many layers to pick at... so many angles and lenses to look at their dynamic through....

[fictive-culture]

fictive culture is looking at fanart and internally screaming

"why the fuck does my body armor curve along with my chest. it's vests with pockets and jackets not a single uninterupted piece of boobplate. i fucking kill people. that art of me is about 50% slimmer than i actually am and doesn't have nearly enough places to attach weapons and ammo. and my hair. do you think i fucking take breaks from operations to go to the salon and touch up my roots? no, i buzz half of it and cut the other half with a machete whenever it gets impractical and dye it whenever i have time off, which means 90% of the time it's a scraggly faded mess with undyed roots. and even that gets me lip for practical concerns. fucking hell. do you think a radical group composed 90% of pissed off people with heavy weaponry has a fucking stylist team on call 24/7 for fuck's sake"

but liking the post anyway because apparently telling an artist "cool art but i do not fucking look like that" is an asshole move which i get but come on why. why the fuck did you draw me like that.

-pash

.

[ceilingfan5]

7 (How do you choose which POV to write from?), 19 )What is the most-used tag on your ao3?), 23 (Best writing advice for other writers?), 24 (Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?), 42 (What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?), 52 (Do you respond to comments, why or why not?), 53 (How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?), and 54 (What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?)

i wanna ask more but we'll be here all day sldkfsdf

thank u !! -ise

first of all ise let it be said that you are doing incredible work by pasting the questions so i dont have to. tumblrs text editor leaves lots to be desired.

7 (How do you choose which POV to write from?)

okay mostly it is vibes and funsies. sometimes an au just hands you a guy. i love switching povs when i do long taakitz fics bc i love both these idiots so much and i love how same and different their internal narration can be, and also i fucking live for the dramatic irony the regular pov switch allows. ("taako looks at him some type of way kravitz can't possibly begin to understand" sort of thing) but also like. sometimes a given scenario screams a certain guy? it's what's fun. mostly.

19 )What is the most-used tag on your ao3?)

if we are talking taz fics only. kissing (12) guess i need to write more fics with tentacles (4)

23 (Best writing advice for other writers?)

you have to roll around in it and you have to find the joy it is imperative

24 (Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?)

fuck any perception of writing as #content or anything focused on numbers. also fuck pretentious assholes who don't appreciate fanfic. also fuck the idea that fanfic is a stepping stone to "real writing"

42 (What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?)

mine & hell yeah

but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh jesus christ the last fic i read on ao3 was noodyl's blupjeans week fic I PhDo which was loads of fun. man i haven't read much lately. stares at my folded hands

52 (Do you respond to comments, why or why not?)

almost never and not bc im mean or Above It or whatever, unelss i am directly responding to a question/item of note mostly i don't know what to say and i become a shaking shaving foam facsimile of a small and unwell dog trying to say anything besides Thank You For Your Attention. you??? like????? the words?????????? good job you are A+ liker and i will carry your soul up the ladder to heaven in my teeth

53 (How do you spend your time when it comes to fanfiction? Are you primarily a fic reader, writer, or a perfect 50/50 split of both?)

it's........................up there. i mostly write em. and i reread my own fics bc they were written for me and have all the tropes i like. and finding new fics frustrates me. i want to be handed them already selected and trustworthy like deific kibble

noodyl's stuff rules tho

54 (What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?)

the part where you get so possessed your eyes go white and the power flows right through you

or the fucking around and throwing spaghetti stage. or the comments

it's a good hobby actually

[system-of-a-feather]

Ooh I love the sigil you did. May I ask if it's just art for arts sake or does it have any personal meaning to you?

-S

(Content Warning: I - XIV - am NOT being a vulgar screaming asshole for once. Tread with caution, this is uncharted territory for this blog /hj)

A mix I guess. I have seen and sometimes like to doodle words into symbols as a like, note taking doodle and thought my (nick)name would make a really suitable one and so I felt like making a neon "me and who I am" sigil of it. To some level it is probably also somewhat inspired by the odd nature of my pride to my authentic self - bith good and bad - that I've been thinking on, but I cant say I *specifically* put that into the sigil, more so that unlike Riku who draws for drawing sake, usually if I feel like doing art its cause I have shit I wanna express in some way or form

Actually now that I'm saying that, I think I'm one of the only parts - or at least the only one who does it so explicitly - that uses creative arts specificalky as a way to express, simmer and think / feel about things. Cause its largely the reason I play musical instruments (which is also my usual go to for artistic self expression because its the expressive language that comes most naturally / fluently to me). Like honestly, I'll be the first cool apathetic aloof tough guy asshole to 100% admit I'm - as Riku would put it - "deceptively emotional" in the sense that I am 1000% an EP and almost every emotion and thing I think and feel about it cranked up to like 100. I'm just (relatively) good at toning it down (and yes what I show on here is like 5% tops of what I'm like internally). Plus apparently I'm one of the "most emotionally intelligent parts in the system" which I don't take as a compliment, and 100% more of a concerning statement cause I'm still an idiot with emotions and shit. But TLDR, despite being a total asshole apathetic douchebag 95% of the time, I actually understand and am absolutely emotionally affective - just the shit I am affected by and what "most normal people" are just don't really match up and so they call me antisocial 😂 /hj

But like, you catching me partially in my introverted introspective expressive hours aside, to answer your question yes and no. Directly represented in it? Nah. The probably subtle drive behind having done it though? Yeah for sure.

It's also decently inspired by some digital / videogame photography I've seen floating around the Cyberpunk community and that game in itself has a lot of personal significance to me because as much as I shitpost about being "literally Johnny Silverhand" - the game gets far too real for me because of how stupidly accurate of a depiction of me that Johnny is. Like I don't "kin" Johnny. Johnny kins me, I'm Johnny's source. So that also probably goes into it. That games been haunting my mind for like, a few weeks cause it was genuinely a planned assassination attempt on my psyche. It has its problems but good god has it made me Think About Things.

Also I was gonna either draw either a rocker silhoette or a headshot with dynamic lighting of myself over it with the neon backlighting it, but I 1) don't enjoy drawing humans / humanoids that much and got lazy 2) didn't want to fuck it up and 3) could always ask Riku to do it for me cause then I don't have to draw a human and they owe me anyways

I also think in a way its partially an expression of a sense of victory and pride in my dysfunctional ass that really got us to a decent place without sacrificing my authenticity and identity - thus the very largely plastered "XIV" in neon lights that was supposed to be combined either with a headshot or a rocker boy silhoette - but who knows.

TLDR Yeah theres a lot of shit behind it cause I always have a lot of things I think and feel in the background like 24/7

-XIV

[pizzee]

Can we talk about that issue? Let's talk about that issue, I wanna talk about that issue. (Btw I love u @tiptapricot​ thank you for screaming back at me 💋❤️)

This is an analysis but before that, it fucking sent me. Incredible, amazing issue. Imo, the best of this run so far. The art is amazing as always, the writing is peak, and Mr Mackay understands the characters so well I want to ARGHH.Anyway, analysis

I wanna talk about Marc's need to be 'normal'.

Smells like internalized ableism and self hatred and guilt to me. A lot of it too, bottled up from years of serving a manipulative asshole god who takes advantage of him (among other things) that Marc absolutely refuses to acknowledge.

No one trusts him because they think he's 'crazy', he can't trust himself because he has to be in control of everything 24/7 and that's kind of not possible when Jake or Steven are fronting, he can't trust anyone else because he doesn't believe he's capable of anything more than violence. This is the guy who was a mercenary, a war criminal for years until he ‘spontaneously grew a conscious’. It took him dying in a desert at the foot of a moon god and being resurrected to flip a switch for the semi-better. How the hell is someone like that capable of anything remotely good?

But instead of acknowledging that guilt and resentment he has for himself, Marc redirects it into blaming everything on having D.I.D. No one trusts him because they think he's 'crazy', he can't trust himself because he has to be in control of everything 24/7 and that's kind of not possible when Jake or Steven are fronting, he can't trust anyone else because he doesn't believe he's capable of anything more than violence.

Which, back to pushing people away. Marc doesn't believe he's capable of love or being loved. So, he does what he does often, deny deny deny. He ‘never wanted to be loved’ and that makes him a winner, because he never had anything to lose. But like Jake correctly calls out (god his and Steven's fucking call outs were so on point I want to kiss them), Marc's a liar.

“Everyone wants to be loved. Even you.”

They're a system, a team, parts of a whole. Jake loved Marlene, Steven loved Marlene, Marc loved Marlene. They all love Diatrice,  they all love Frenchie, they all love everyone they've brought into their lives as friends and lovers and teammates. Marc has loved people and has always wanted to be loved but he can't imagine the same ever happening to him because in his mind, Marc Spector is unlovable. Marc Spector is a bundle of contradictions who his father was ashamed of and sent away to a psychiatric hospital to try to fix. Marc Spector is the guy who punched his dad and killed his brother and cut off people's faces and puts everyone in danger all the time.

He’s scared of getting close to people, letting people in, but then is just as terrified of losing it all, of Steven or Jake swooping in and being ‘better’ than him, of taking it from him because they somehow deserve it more. He perpetuates his own endless cycle of violence by never allowing himself to think he can be better, think he already is better. He wants to reinvent himself rather than change. He continues to want to be anyone but Marc Spector (hence his insistence on always being referred to as Mr. Knight, hence why we rarely see him out of the mask in this run aside from when he’s at his most vulnerable. Spilling his heart out to Greer or recovering from almost dying. And the most interesting thing is, the first thing Steven does once he fronts aside from, you know, not killing Zodiac, is turn around to face Reese and take off the mask. And what do you know, the first time Reese sees their face, the first time he’s completely vulnerable, is when Marc isn’t in control.)

So surely, anyone who's ever seen anything remotely good in him must be lying, anyone who's ever loved him back must be delusional or just as 'crazy' as him and they’d come to their senses soon enough. It’s an endless cycle that Marc has no control over because he’ll always find a way to fuck up and drive them away. So he pushes everyone away and tries as hard as he can to be normal because that's the only thing left for Marc to be the one thing he wishes he was. He wishes he was likable like Jake and charismatic like Steven, he wishes he was a decent human being, someone worth anyone’s time of day, but he'll always be Marc Spector 'who makes the wrong choice every time.'

Buuuut, he isn't alone, he isn’t unlovable. Yes he’s made mistakes, done terrible things, and he’ll continue to make mistakes and be flawed. But. He isn’t the worst version of himself and Jake and Steven aren’t better versions of him. They aren’t anything but themselves, no worse or better than the others because they all exist for each other.

He's never been alone and never will be, which is the beauty of it. He had Marlene and Frenchie and Crawley and Gena before, and he's got Reese and Soldier and Greer and Dr. Badr now. And of course, ✨urbane, sophisticated, charming and avuncular scoundrel my beloveds✨

Marc is so busy trying to fit into the archetypal role of stoic antihero, the guy who doesn't work well with others or need anyone else and gets shit done on his own, he's so busy trying to cast off the old image of 'crazy, unpredictable, uncontrollable, violent' vigilante that he forgets he doesn't have to fit into anything. It's like that thing he said earlier in the run, he's not Spider-Man or The Punisher. He doesn't have to be anything except who Marc Spector is, they don't have to be anything but Moon Knight, together. Which means giving up some control, letting himself be loved.

“…We’re going to have to do it together.”

When he says that at the end, yea, fuck yea. Because there's no other way he— they could do it but together.

[choco-exe]

the one where tsukishima and sakusa go too far with teasing their crush

anonymous asks:  Hiiiiii I LOVE ur writing, and I was wondering if I could request the haikyuu boys (whoever u think fits best) who constantly tease (borderline insult) their crush, who one day just breaks down from their harsh words and say to them something along the lines of “why do you hate me?”, and how the the haikyuu boys react to that. If possible, end with something fluffy 🥺? (Like a confession) TYSMMM ❤️❤️

a/n: hello! aww im glad you do :D wait i just realized you said to have the boys react to their crush saying why do you hate me- fuuuuu- ahem please forgive me for not reading the ask correctly ;w; i hope you still enjoy, nevertheless! and why did i write these long-

tw: mentions of self hate, kind of toxic behavior from sakusa

𝚝𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 . . .  🖉

  ☾ he’s gonna be meaner the more he likes you   ☾ like if he’s only realized he developed a crush on you, he’d treat you the same, but if it’s been weeks and you haven’t picked up the hint, he’s gonna be treating you like trash   ☾ you find him staring down at you with a dead eye stare   ☾ “what’s up, kei?” “you’re so short you look like a toddler” “..i’m the average height for a high schooler though-”   ☾ his comments about your height never got to you, but then he started to target other regions of yourself   ☾ like he’d give a rude remark about a low score you got on the quiz, or how you always look dead inside well he isn’t wrong   ☾ whenever he said something negative about you, you just shot back a counter and brushed it off   ☾ after a month of this going on, though, his words started to sting a bit   ☾ “hey kei-” “can’t you stay quiet for one second? it’s like you blab out words every chance you get”   ☾ imagine your surprise, since it was unusual of him to comment about you talking   ☾ and one of your biggest insecurities is being annoying to others; you knew you tend to ramble about things, and a nagging voice in the back of your mind was always telling you about how people around you would get fed up with it   ☾ did tsukki mean to say it like that? of course not; he was meaning to have a bit of humor in his statement   ☾ he just said it in such an annoyed tone and way that it made it seem like he was bothered by you talking   ☾ “..sorry, kei. my mind wandered for a bit..”   ☾ you figured that he just had a bad day, and you were over it after a full night of sleep i could really use that   ☾ the voice inside your head grew louder, however, and tsukishima’s comments didn’t help at all   ☾ “stop bothering me about the homework; cant you see i’m busy? ugh, fine, take my notes if you’re that stupid-”   ☾ “if you want attention, listen to this playlist. it should satisfy your longing for voices; i need to study for a test now”   ☾ it got to the point where your mind was yelling at you about being a nuisance, and the final piece you needed to break just so happened to be during a practice match..

“You did great, blocking them all, Tsukki!” You exclaimed, flashing him a grin as you pass him his water bottle and towel. In all honesty, you were forcing your smile so hard, it began to hurt your jaw. “I could’ve blocked better if someone wasn’t screaming the whole time,” the middle blocker said, wiping sweat off his forehead. You had been passing out water bottles to the other players, but you stopped dead in your tracks when his words hit your ears. “Y/N-chan..?” Shimizu asked worriedly, eyeing your expression that Tsukishima couldn’t see. The said blonde took off his goggled to switch them out with his regular glasses. “It was just a practice match; getting hyped up wasn’t exactly the brightest idea your mind conjured up.” Putting his glasses on after wiping the lenses, he looked down at you to see your tear ducts brimming with your sadness. “..huh..?” You touched your face as a tear slid down your cheek. The other club members looked at you in concern. “Ah- don’t worry, everyone..” You wave your hands frantically as Daichi and Sugawara stare disapprovingly at Tsukishima. “It’s nothing to worry about. I’m just gonna.. step outside for a bit.” You forced another smile out onto your face, then quickly scampered out of the gym. The silence was so thick, you could slice it with a sword. Four-Eyes clearly didn’t expect you to be that emotional over his statement, as his face was filled with a small mixture of concern and confusion. He ran after you, shoving his things in his hands to Yamaguchi and leaving the rest of the team shocked into standing still. You had fled to a nearby bench, where you collapsed onto and shoved your face into your hands, desperately trying to stop your tears from shedding. How stupid, you thought. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Look what you did; you made the team worry about you, and they’re all going to resent you the moment they find out the reason behind your crying. “Y/N.” Jolted out of your thoughts, you looked up to find Tsukishima staring down at you with an unreadable expression. Almost immediately, your face became flooded with streams of tears. You quickly looked down at your lap, fidgeting with your hands. “I-I’m sorry for talking so much, Tsukki, I’ll try to keep my thoughts to myself-” “Shut up, Y/N.” He interrupted. You sighed and calmed your breathing. “This is what I’m talking about, Tsukishima.” You muttered, putting your face in your hands once again. “I’m just a pest to everyone; anyone I encounter will automatically hate me-” “Stop insulting yourself, dammit.” The middle blocker clenched his fists in anger. “You aren’t a nuisance, and you most definitely aren’t one to be hated on- I know I can be a bit of an asshole sometimes, but did it really affect you that much-” You slowly took your face out of your hands to see the blonde crouching, staring up at you. “'Did it really affect you that much?’ What do you think?! God, it really seems like you don’t consider my feelings at all, Tsukishima! I’ve been suspecting that you hate me, but why-?!” Said boy quickly clasped your hands in his, surprising you greatly. His usual expressionless face was morphed into one in a slight panic. “It’s because I like you, idiot!” Taking a moment to process his words, your whole face flushed a scarlet-red. “What?” The tips of Tsukishima’s ears were dusted with a soft coral-pink hue. “You heard me. I won’t repeat myself.” He averted his eyes from yours, squeezing your hands in nervousness. “I-” You were internally melting inside; who would’ve thought the salty beanpole would like someone like you? “But you would always push me to the side! Telling me you were busy and such!” Tsukishima stared at you like you were the biggest dumbass in the world. “I gave you my notes because I knew you didn’t have the energy to take them in class, and the playlist was a collection of songs I thought would suit you. Are you that dense?” “Who are you calling dense?!” You replied hastily. “And for your information, I haven’t given you my answer yet! Let go of my hands, and I’ll tell you, okay?” The middle blocker leaned in close to your face with his dead eye gaze. “It’s an agreement or disagreement, Y/N. What is your response?” You leaned back into the bench, but Tsukishima followed with your movements. “Um- I-” Your words crossed with each other, the lack of personal space making your head spin. “Yes?” Satisfied, the lamppost removed his hands from yours and flicked your forehead. “Simple as that, shortcake. If you want to freeze to death outside, that’s fine by me.” He began to walk back to the gym. “Wha- I’m not short!” You exclaimed, running after the four-eyes. “Also, I’m not the one who’s been sweating profusely for the past hour, so speak for yourself!” Tsukishima gently smiled as he heard you rapidly firing back at his comment. Looks like she’s back to her usual self. 𝚜𝚊𝚔𝚞𝚜𝚊 . . .  🖉

  ✤ obviously he’s gonna be commenting about your hygiene 24/7   ✤ the fact that he’s developed a crush on you doesn’t help, either; it means that you should be extra clean if he were to date you   ✤ and of course he has to remind you almost every hour of the day; whether it be by text or in person   ✤ now, you didn’t mind him checking up on you every couple of days, but every hour??   ✤ you’re convinced that sakusa has had some sort of trauma in the past, fighting with germs ever since he was a child okay not really.. unless?   ✤ he doesn’t even do this to the other people he’s acquainted with; you’ve asked koromi about it, and he says sakusa just sprays him with holy water a disinfecting solution    ✤ now you’re confused as to why you’re getting special treatment from him, when you two aren’t as close as him and his cousin   ✤ so you personally went to his class to ask him about it   ✤ “hey kiyoomi, why do you remind me to be clean every hour that you’re awake?” “because you shouldn’t have a single germ on you.” “but it’s literally the same message every time; at least make it seem more interesting” “cleaning yourself should be simple, not complicated”   ✤ you got fed up with it as another week went by, which is understandable, since this clean freak was spamming your phone hour after hour without missing a single text   ✤ the fact that sakusa was willing to put effort into reminding you about your hygiene was kind of sweet, but the same message every. single. damn. time. was annoying you like hell   ✤ and when you tell him to stop and that you already know how to get rid of germs, he gave you a disgusted look   ✤ this had to be one of the most nasty expressions he had ever made, because you stood paralyzed to the floor   ✤ “i have been reminding you for your own good, y/n. why don’t you just appreciate what i do for you, instead of complain about it?”   ✤ your mouth stayed shut, your tongue feeling as though it was glued to the top of your mouth   ✤ “don’t mention anything like this again”   ✤ you meekly nodded, and he strolled out the classroom   ✤ the moment he was gone, you collapsed onto the floor out of fear, shivering as you replayed the scene again and again in your head   ✤ the main question that circled your head was: why was he acting so controlling?   ✤ the night after, you texted sakusa, and asked him to meet up with you at your favorite spot   ✤ surprisingly, he complied. and you were waiting for awhile by the time he got there..

“Sakusa, hi!” You greeted your friend with a small but warm smile. The ace frowned; it was unlike you to call him by his last name. In fact, it had been months since you’ve said his name with such coldness in your voice. “..why did you call me out here?” He questioned in a low tone. Your eyes grew dark as you thought about what to say to him. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday. I feel as though we need to.” Sakusa’s own eyes narrowed as you spoke each word. “Are you still going to complain about my reminders to you?” Shaking your head, you stared at your feet while hugging your arms to your chest. “Of course not, I heard what you told me to do. I just.. wanted to know why you got so angry, is all.” The jet-black haired boy stared down at you, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried to remember what specifically happened the day before. “I don’t know what you’re remembering, Y/N, but I wasn’t angry in the slightest. Are you sure you aren’t thinking of another memory of yours?” Your head snaps up when he said that he wasn’t angry. “Yes, I’m very sure.” You firmly say. “Maybe you don’t think you seemed angry, but you were downright furious. It was.. kind of terrifying.” “Are you saying I was out of control yesterday?” “No, just..” You subconsciously hugged your arms tighter to your body, trying to make yourself as small as possible. “..intimidating.” Sakusa tilted his head, his eyes narrowing. You found him intimidating? Just from a little conversation that happened because of you’re questioning ways? “I’m tired, and I’m sure you are, too,” you continued, not catching on that your friend was becoming annoyed with your talking. “Which is why I want to end this quickly. Sakusa, I have a life, too. As much as I appreciate what you do for me, I can take care of myself without your help-” “You’re repeating the same words you stated yesterday, just in different phrasing.” The germaphobe harshly cut in. “I said this once, but I will say it again, for your sake. I am doing this for your own good-” “-and I know what’s good for me and what isn’t, Sakusa!” You exclaimed, your arms no longer crossed. “I can make my own decisions! I’m not some dumb little kid you have to look after-” “Y/N-” “-so just drop this already! It doesn’t help anyone; it doesn’t help me, it doesn’t help you-” “Y/N.” Sakusa lost all patience. He towered over you, his hands clenched tightly into fists. You slightly shrink at his actions, your arms up in defense. The ace didn’t seem to notice your fear as he took a step forward. “You are crawling with so many germs, I can practically see them all over you. You are in no condition to be deciding on your hygiene, when you can’t even rid of the many dirt particles covering your skin.” He took another step forward, and you step back, unsure of what to do. Sakusa broke out of his anger when he heard a slight sob leave your lips. “Why do you hate me so much, Sakusa?!” You asked, pain laced into your voice. “I’m perfectly capable of not being dirty, can’t you see?! Why can’t you just leave me alone-” You used your sleeves to start wiping the tears away, although they doubled to replace the ones you removed. The ace hesitantly enveloped you in a hug, making you break down even more. “Sakusa- no- you’re gonna get germs on you-” You stammered, resisting the temptation to bury your face into his chest. “..I made you cry. I need to pay the consequences.” Said boy murmured, rubbing shapes onto your back. You continued to cry for a good 5 minutes, before slowly pushing him away. “..thank you.” You sniffled. “I know consequences has nothing to do with that. Why did you-?” “I like you, Y/N.” He cut you off, making your eyes widen. “The reason why I’d been constantly reminding you to wash up is because I thought I should date someone who was clean to the touch. That was wrong of me, so very wrong. I apologize, and it’s fine if you reject-” You shut him up with a kiss to his mask. “Are you traumatized yet?” You asked, trying to crack a smile. “That’s my revenge from yesterday.” Sakusa blinked multiple times before realizing what you did. “..I guess I deserved that. So is that a yes..?” You broke out into a beautiful, radiant smile this time, the moonlight making you glow even more than you already were. “Of course, Kiyoomi!”

[demonprosecutor]

TURNABOUT HEROES AU! A COMPREHENSIVE POST

BASIC PREMISE:

Miles Edgeworth is a big-shot prosecutor who, much like his mentor, specialized in the prosecution of super-powered individuals, more specifically, heroes and villains. He doesn’t have any powers; however, it does not dissuade from the fact that he has considerable influence to ensure that retribution is often a rarity in his line of work 

(far too often he’s heard stories about his colleagues being offed by a vengeful loved one or a villain who managed to smuggle in a weapon)

However, his luck was bound to run out anyways. After sending too many of their colleagues’ into high-security prison, Miles finds himself the unfortunate target to many villains and unfortunately takes up a new role of ‘Damsel-in-Distress’ if he wanted to play with cliches.

But even with his string of bad luck, the mysterious Firebird is someone who always seems to know when and if he’s in trouble. At the same time, Phoenix Wright had somehow reappeared in his life and now? He’s being SAVED on both ends, what does a man have to do in order to get a semblance of peace around these parts.

Or, as I like to call it, the “oh no, i fell in love with a superhero AND their secret identity unknowingly and i am in a crisis 24/7 about it” au

WORLDBUILDING:

The world is composed of individuals who have powers and who don’t. Generally, there is peaceful co-existence between these two groups - however, there are spots of tension between the two that culminates in trouble. Sometimes, powered individuals use their abilities for evil and others use their powers for good. Non-powered individuals are usually stuck in the middle LMAO

ROUGH TIMELINE:

Gregory Edgeworth is a non-powered defense attorney that specializes in crimes that are committed by powered individuals because they have the tendency to be indicted more harshly than non-powered individuals. He, while not too famous like his enemy, has steadily been growing in fame in terms of his willingness to help anyone no matter what, something that Miles, as a child, cherished.

As a kid, Miles, who is non-powered as well, is someone who grew up in a very loving environment. In spite of the fact that his father was a single father and sometimes came home late, he was always surrounded with a wealth of love and care from his father and his uncle. During this time, Phoenix and Larry, both powered individuals (and whose powers I will explain further downwards), were his tentative friends at the beginning - that is until the dreaded class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing Miles’ money and the teacher + class was unfairly going against him, citing his powers as being evidence towards motivation for crime. But Miles stood up for him, his dad as inspiration, and told everyone off because you can’t accuse people without proof. From that moment on, these three were inseparable. 

They would always go to each other’s houses, always pair together for group projects, and always hang out - they were thick as thieves.

But tragedy struck around Christmas. Miles does not know exactly what happens, but all he knows is that when he woke up from fading consciousness, a moment of time seared in his mind for eternity is throwing the gun, the ear-splitting gunshot and a blink later, his father slumped dead on against the elevator wall.

From that moment on, it just goes downhill for Miles. He gets taken under Manfred’s wing and has the ideals of always getting a guilty verdict and people with powers are bad. For years and years, he grew up with this poisonous mindset with his adopted sister, Franziska, and together, they grew up to be the second-most feared prosecutors (the first being Manfred).

Meanwhile, Phoenix is desperately trying to find miles, trying to see if he could reconnect with him, but he never does. So in college, he ends up with Dahlia and gets subsequently accused of murder of Doug Swallow. He gets poisoned in the trial, a gift from Dahlia’s powers, but miraculously heals - figuring out another facet of his powers.

It is then when Phoenix meets up with Mia, determined after seeing that newspaper with Miles in it, she takes him under her wing and teaches him everything she knows about being both a defense attorney and a hero. Together, they make the dynamic duo of Firebird and Spirit! They fight crime on both sides of the law for years, while Phoenix thinks about his goal of reaching Miles.

Years later, Mia gets murdered by Redd White after obtaining information that could stop him and his company.

The trail for Mia’s murder is the first time Phoenix and Miles meet again. Instead of Winston taking the role of prosecution, it’s Miles!

Miles completely ignores Phoenix initially and focuses on the investigation and having the perfect trial. He does a lot more hands on investigations because sometimes, the police have a tendency to misplace evidence or not find things that he needs, so he’s at the crime scenes frequently. The night before the first trial, Miles goes to the crime scene where he first meets the hero Firebird. He is a bit of a jerk to Firebird before Miles writes him down as a potential suspect.

After his first loss, Miles is completely stunned. Before chalking it up to beginner’s luck. It doesn’t help that Manfred reprimands him very harshly for losing to a green attorney.

But for some reason, after that first trial, Miles ends up seeing more of Phoenix and Firebird around. Phoenix has the tendency to take cases that Miles is prosecuting for chances to talk to him and Firebird is always around the crime scene - he’s sure that they’re in cahoots with each other.

It’s difficult for Miles to talk to Phoenix because it brings up too many memories that he had repressed for his own mental health. But for some reason, Firebird is much easier to talk to.

It’s like Miles has a target at his back because he cannot go a few days without being kidnapped, being held at gunpoint, being used as hostage, and being rescued by Firebird, that insufferable flirt. However, Miles is reassured that he has someone out there who is willing to save him because not many would, especially since he would judiciously prosecute them without much guilt.

Firebird; however, is another story. 

He talks to Firebird and Phoenix about each other and it’s clear over the years that he’s slowly being less cold and more warm -- and it’s hard to not fall in love! Firebird is the one who falls in love first because if Phoenix is being honest, he’s been in love with Miles since forever, but it’s easier to confess behind a mask. And this was during a time where Miles hated powered people, so it was always left with taunts. But Phoenix never let that deter him, he had always cared for Miles, no matter what.

Eventually, Miles ends up falling for both Firebird and Phoenix and he spends many sleepless nights thinking about the hero who saves his life literally and his rival/best friend who saves his life emotionally.

NOTABLE CHARACTERS:

Phoenix Wright AKA Firebird:

His powers are pyrokinesis, healing, flight, and regeneration

Body is the same fragility of humans, but if he dies, he crumples to ashes and comes back to life brand new and without injuries!

Miles Edgeworth, non-powered:

A prosecutor trained under Manfred von Karma, specializing in powered crime

Terribly unlucky to the point where people wondered if bad luck was his superpower

Franziska von Karma, powered, but repressing her abilities:

A prosecutor trained under Manfred von Karma, specializing in powered crime - eventually upgrades to international prosecutor

Her abilities, once found out, are ice powers!

Dating Maya

Maya Fey, non-powered:

A journalist charged with protecting the secret of the Kurain Village - which is a place for resting heroes or villains who wish to reform!

Dating Franziska

Pearl Fey, powered:

Her powers are super-strength, extreme durability, and extreme endurance

Literally the strongest AA character

Iris Fey, non-powered:

The twin of Dahlia and aided her charade with Phoenix back at college

Now she works at Kurain Village with Dahlia in the reformation of villains.

Dahlia Hawthorne AKA Sweet Tooth, powered:

Her powers are poison control!

She used to be a villain, but reformed

Works at Kurain Village with Iris in helping villains reform

Morgan Fey, powered:

Her powers are the same as Pearl’s; however, they are a LOT weaker than her daughter’s

Very scary

Larry Butz AKA Toy Soldier, powered:

Powers: brings inanimate objects to life

But he prefers to bring toys to life as puppets, not really an effective fighter, but he’s trying and that’s what counts!

The Phantom, powered:

Powers: can shapeshift perfectly down to their voices. They can also steal memories

They are the perfect assassin

Gumshoe, non-powered or is he? huehuehue

The detective partner of Edgeworth’s 

Very loyal and energetic! He is such a sweetheart

Manfred von Karma, non-powered

One of the best prosecutors for powered crime

An asshole jerk

Trucy Wright, powered:

Powers: teleportation

She uses her teleportation for her magic tricks, but shhh, don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret!

Apollo Justice AKA Chords of Steel, powered:

Powers: sound manipulation

His chords of steel are sometimes A BIT MUCH!

But he could manipulate sound to make his footsteps quieter, his ability is really versatile

He can only SCREAM

Klavier Gavin AKA Piano Man, powered:

Powers: sound manipulation

BUT HE CAN ONLY SING IT!!!

Can charm/mind control people, but NEVER EVER does it because he knows how bad it can get!

Kristoph Gavin, powered:

Powers: charm

Can charm/mind control people hehehe

Ema Skye, powered:

Powers: perception

She can see the gross nasty fluids from a crime that can be seen with the human eye, she loves it

Lana Skye, non-powered:

Once the Chief Prosecutor, but now jailed

Currently, she is on parole and is going to be soon let out for good behaviour

Athena, powered:

Powers: She has the capability of knowing someone’s TRUE emotions and their deepest desires

It’s honestly a curse because she frequently gets overstimulated by crowds

Blackquill, non-powered:

A fearsome prosecutor that was jailed for crimes not of his own making

He seeks the phantom and wishes to either put them in jail or kill them, whichever comes first.

Mia Fey AKA Spirit, powered:

Powers: psychokinesis + phasing

LIKE A GHOST

Phoenix’s mentor as both a defense attorney and as a hero

[inheritance-cycles]

Shade headcanons 👀👀🙏

Ooh! I love this ask! I’ll give it a shot:

They all like shiny objects. Their pockets are full of random trinkets that caught their eye while they were off Shading About Alagaesia.

Will pull totally asshole moves for no reason at all (which isn’t all that surprising because they’re, ya know...Shades) like moving every object in a house 1 cm to the left to fuck with the owner

They all have Disaster Bi or Gay Icon vibes. Obviously not trying to suggest that all gay people are bad or evil, but I feel some of the writing with durza especially is like, queer coded?

DRAMA QUEENS

None of them have a fucking attention span. Their brains are full of spirits and it’s just internal screaming 24/7.

Absolute trend-setters, all of them. Very avant-garde. Glittery eyeshadow and eyeliner. The works.

Feel free to add on!

[historymaiden]

The Five of Us

A headcanon, sponsored by Me.

In all honestly, the reason she has so many brothers is the fact that her mom always wanted a daughter, and wouldn't stop until she got one, and her dad was more than willing to have a daughter of his own. So when she was born on April 18th, 1918, she was adored over by both her parents, her grandparents, and her four older brothers.

Violet has 4 brothers. Thomas (10 years older than her), a surgeon at Letterman Hospital, Matthew (7 years older than her), a lawyer in a law firm also in San Francisco, Peter (5 years older than her), who works in the docks in San Fran, and Fred (2 years older than her) who works as a mechanic in Lockheed-Martin in Burbank.

In all honestly, the reason she has so many brothers is the fact that her mom always wanted a daughter, and wouldn't stop until she got one, and her dad was more than willing to have a daughter of his own. So when she was born on April 18th, 1918, she was adored over by both her parents, her grandparents, and her four older brothers.

They all help her grow in certain ways. By the age of five, she's helping her dad, Fred, and Thomas change the oil and put tires on a car. Peter, the quietest of the bunch, teaches her to read and write, and she got her school's penmanship award at age 7. There was still lots of fun by all of them, wrestling matches in the backyard, followed by cold showers and a glass of milk and cookies. By the age of ten, she's helping Thomas study for his college exams as a pre-med student and helping Fred with his penmanship as well, because he was always tinkering with the one car they had for the 7 of them. But they did end up committing minor terrors on their mother by fighting or wrestling with each other. And when Matthew turned 21, he taught her how to chug alcohol.

It was really Thomas' studying sessions that spurred her interest in being a nurse, and when they had well, "Bring your kid to school day", he brought in Violet. It was a turning point, because it was at a hospital, and she got to help patients, and being able to see the gratefulness on everyone's faces when she helps them.

Matthew was busy, but he let her sit in his room that he shared with Peter and study with him for his high school exams, and her exams as well with her books and pens. And well, she graduated with a high school degree. She then went onto become a nurse, going to nursing school in San Francisco, and then well, she graduated.

She wanted to see the world. She blamed it on Peter with all of his books and she had just read the Hobbit, which came out two years earlier. But, she signed up for the Army Nurses Corp, said goodbye to her family and left for Manila in 1939.

Then the war broke out, and she was captured in Manila and taken as a POW to Sant Tomas, and then Los Banos internment camp. They were called the Angels of Bataan back home, but really, secretly, they called themselves the Battling Belles of Bataan. Not the Angels. They were surviving, and that was it.

But, on February 3rd, 1945, they were liberated by General MacArthur and none other than "Matthew!" She screams, seeing him and he looks before seeing her and starts crying and she tackles him in a hug. This felt right. but not exactly. "Is everyone else okay?" she says. "Everyone's fine, Mom and Dad are both fine, I'm in the 1st Calvarly under MacArthur, Peter's an Air Raid Warden, Thomas is at Brooks Hospital as a surgeon, and Fred's a mechanic in the Navy. I honestly thought Fred would see you first but..." "Just shut up and hug me asshole," she murmurs and he hugs her. She would have to wait for another two weeks to be flown out to see all of her brothers, but Matthew gets permission to escorts her home, and she smiles at him as the plane takes off from Manila.

It takes about 24 hours for them to land in San Francisco, but when they do, and he escorts her off the plane and she sees all of her brothers before hugging them all, and it feels just like home.

[ksbwnotes]

Chapter 2

1. Oof

I’m sure, even after being told about this ‘relative’, Sangwoo kept it cool and didn’t tip off anything to the police, acting like “OH RIGHT MY RELATIVE THAT I HAVEN’T SEEN IN A FKKN DECADE”. It comes to show that he is incredibly calculating and intelligent, able to keep a facade on to an artform. This was probably something he has been able to do ever since he was a child, as we’ll later witness in his flashbacks.

Later Sangwoo says “you might as well have said you were my brother”, which is meaningful because Sangwoo doesn’t have one. So every relative Sangwoo knows is just as nonexistent as his nonexistent sibling.

2. I find this important to note

Bum obviously is prone to putting people on pedestals, only seeing them through the rose tinted glass he wants to see them in.

3. Why this though?

I find it very interesting that, because he doesn’t want to die, what he yells out is “I FELL IN LOVE!”  Why this? I’m sure he’s also used this an excuse for the others he has stalked (I wonder if Sangwoo ever realized that Bum also stalked women and how he felt about that), but it most likely never worked with them. 

Bum was just spouting whatever came to mind, so the fact that the word ‘love’ is what jumped out of him says a lot of how much it has been consuming his every being, even in the face of death.

4. s;jgio;sejro;gisejro;igerj wtf sangwoo

...I...well. I mean, it’s a great parallel, I think. Bum’s desperation for love making him yell that as his last words, while Sangwoo’s desperation for that same love making him stop in his tracks and even...fucking pet Bum???  I dunno, lonely or not, that wouldn’t be the first response of a completely not-gay-straight-as-an-arrow man. But obviously, Bum is a cutie pie and can appear feminine, which is why Sangwoo didn’t automatically kill him. If Bum looked like a ‘man’, then there would seriously be no saving Bum. 

And I’m sure Koogi meant to emphasize Bum’s feminine attractiveness in that petting panel, maybe as a way to show what Sangwoo was seeing. I love how it’s purely white and blank behind Bum, as Bum is all Sangwoo is seeing. The fact that it’s white rather than black can suggest that Bum could be a new beginning, something pure and untainted.

I do kinda wonder if Koogi had Sangwoo as straight as a way to mitigate the stigma against homosexuality???  As a way for her to say “just because the story is between two men doesn’t mean this is supposed to be representative of homosexuality itself”.

5. Wow, the whiplash of mood and quick thinking

Boy didn’t even fkkn hesitate to destroy Bum’s legs, goddamn. 

However, this does show that Sangwoo is very aware and his mental faculties are intact, even during times like these. You think he’d be fkkn furious and lose it, beating Bum to death automatically before Bum could even say anything. But Sangwoo doesn’t. The moment Bum says “love”, he stopped. He wasn’t in a haze of fury...maybe excitement (especially with that goddamn terrifying smile as Bum runs up the stairs), but even that was controlled. 

In away, Sangwoo just seems...tired. He’s moving only because he knows he has to. 

Also, the moment he says “not with your legs the way they are”, Sangwoo sees Bum the same way he has seen the women who’ve also been in the basement. The CEO daughter girl also had broken legs, so obviously the first thing he does is ruin their legs so they don’t run away...which...yeah, smart. I actually haven’t seen that even with Criminal Mind. xD

So that does show that Sangwoo seems really set in keeping his prey with him. Not to ‘chain’ them or anything, but to keep them from leaving him. 

6. Double homicide

Ooooh 3 years ago?? Okay this is interesting...conscription age is 18 (or 17 since Koreans add that one year). I’m confused because, technically, Bum should’ve met Sangwoo first in the military, then in his college days. So did Sangwoo go to military later at age 20?  Could be since his mom is...yeah. And his dad...sure. 

Also, Bum and Sangwoo are four years apart. So say that Sangwoo went to college first, so Bum met Sangwoo when he was 22...then while Sangwoo was 20 and Bum was 24, they went into the military later. Since Sangwoo is 24 now (or 25 in Korean age jfc), that means he was 21 when his parents were killed. 

Sangwoo also seemed to have needed to be discharged early, most likely because of his sick mom, which would explain also why he was in no position to befriend Bum. 

Anyways, so that means Bum knew Sangwoo and was in love with him for about 6 years.

7. Wow

No wonder Sungbae is like this. He sees the eyes of every person he chased in Sungwoo’s dead-eyed stare. But he’s actually wrong about this, lol. Sungwoo’s mom is the culprit, technically, even though she was also a vicitm.

8. UHHHHHHH

HEY, SANGWOO, HEY, WHY IS BUM FKKN NAKED TO HIS UNDERWEAR WHAT THE HELL. WHY DID YOU UNDRESS HIM SANGWOO. HEY.  

Oh my god, wait, was that really Bum’s underwear or did Sangwoo put that on him??

Also, wow, Bum’s hips. He seriously has a feminine body. Like...pear body shape lol. 

Also, seriously, Sangwoo is treating Bum right off the bat like the other women. Rather than completely heterosexual, Sangwoo is more demisexual. And rather than femininity, he more prefers ‘weaker’ bodies, so that he doesn’t feel threatened by them. That is automatic towards females. 

9. Hmmmmn....

Ah, for this to be the first thing you fucking wake up to, jesus christ. xD

I wonder though, why did Sangwoo cut her hair short? There’s probably multiple reasons for it...but one theory I would find interesting is that it’s because he met Bum. 

Maybe he wanted to see how she looked like with a male haircut, how it would look like and compare how it felt like to see a pretty girl beside a pretty boy. He compared the two physically and made his decision that Bum was worth more than her.

I really do find it interesting that Sangwoo truly chose Bum over her, despite her being voluptuous and beautiful and actually a woman, which...you know...important for het men right. 

But Sangwoo chose Bum because even though Sangwoo went straight to beating him with a goddamn bat, Bum yelled “I FELL IN LOVE WITH YOU”.

If the choice was between what’s between the person’s legs vs the person themselves, Sangwoo will choose the person.

10. Interesting insight

Into why Sangwoo killed her and his thought process.  Again, interesting, the fact that he kept emphasizing how stupid she was. 

Her screaming for help and stuff is a very natural reaction and no one should ever blame her for that. But, for Sangwoo, it was ridiculous because she should’ve known that would piss him off more rather than make him feel guilty. 

Part of it is how he learned to survive growing up--by reading his parents’ moods and figuring out how to respond. And on a smaller scale, how to respond to other people so that they see nothing but a charming, handsome man. The fact that she can’t even do 1/100th of that is fucking infuriating...and on a personal level, I can understand that frustration.

The other part is that her begging for mercy is obviously NOT what he wants. He wants someone like Bum, who’ll respond to him with loyalty and desire. Who won’t be afraid of him and will still stay to ease his loneliness. 

11. Uh

What kind of half-baked excuse was this, bro. You spared him only because of what he yelled out to you and you just don’t want to admit it to yourself...or maybe just don’t want to say it to Bum, so that you can control him better.

12. Women have hair too, asshole

Sangwoo really does try to feminize Bum throughout the whole story. So obviously, yes, his instinct is more hetero. If Bum were burly like a guy rather than delicate like a girl, there would be no saving him. Sangwoo has his preferences. And Bum fits the most important aspect--and that most important part isn’t Bum’s genitalia.

I also do think it has to do with social construct. Sangwoo most likely grew up internalizing misogynistic and homophobic belief systems, whether or not those are what he truly agreed with.

13. The first time Sungwoo snaps

Notable to mention that it’s because he sees Bum trembling in fear of him. Sangwoo doesn’t like being reminded of the monster he is. He doesn’t take pleasure in it. But because he knows that he’s unforgivable and can’t go back, he just makes the situation worse by further slipping into the skin of a monster.

Honestly, this might be more indicative towards what he witnessed with his father. He’s emulating his father’s qualities because he knows that he’s no better than him, and can’t handle that fact. He’s also locking up his women THE SAME WAY HIS FATHER DID TO HIS MOM. 

But, honestly, I think it’s because his mom is just as bad as his dad, that’s why he’s doing the same things as his dad.

14. You beat the girl

This is indicative of the fact that Sangwoo would be willing to be with Bum despite being a guy. And also suggests that, again, he really was comparing them and decides that Bum, with all his ‘loser’ like qualities, is still worthier than her. Heterosexual first, but demisexual overall.

And again, I think he’s doing the same things he has seen his father has done, pouring the food over Bum’s face like that.

15. First reward

Ah, here comes the training. 

Also, I can see how differently Bum responds compared to every single person he’s seen, including his mom. They all will feel humiliated and resentful, hateful towards Sangwoo, seeing him as a monster, or being completely defeated. But Bum, instead, responds exactly the opposite. This is exactly why I think Sangwoo decides to kiss Bum. 

Because, despite Sangwoo calling him a retard, that is exactly what Sangwoo wanted to see (but at the same time, not...Sangwoo doesn’t want someone as messed up as Bum, but he knows that only someone as messed up as Bum can be with him, and more than anything, he doesn’t want to be lonely). 

If Bum reacted with fear rather than desire, Sangwoo would’ve never kissed Bum.

This is also a huge catch-22 that will end up blowing up on both of them. Bum reacting like this will make Sangwoo feel better about his actions and like he was able to find the person who’ll be able to accept him for who he is. But in the long term, it will reinforce this behavior and truly make him into his father. It will also keep him from truly dealing with his past. 

16. Oh goddamn

Great insight into Bum’s mentality.  It’s amazing, also, that he sees this as a sign of ‘dating’.

What I find telling is that Bum is thinking this DESPITE SEEING PROOF OF HIM BEING A MURDERER. I do get that it could be from his dissociation from real life, so he doesn’t quite understand what is going on. But at the same time, really, if Sangwoo treated Bum better, then Bum would’ve been absolutely fine with him being a serial killer and even join him. I honestly do believe Bum is more of a natural-born murderer than Sangwoo (though Sangwoo is probably more of a natural asshole lol).

17. Why are you also mentioning the word date!?!?

And I’m not sure if Sangwoo senses that those are Bum’s thoughts, but he also is thinking about dating in this context??

I can see how Sangwoo could’ve ‘read’ his prey and responded in a way that would’ve messed with their heads, but at the same time, it could be that Sangwoo is looking at this situation in just as much a twisted way as Bum is. But rather than Bum’s “I’m disgusting, yet he’s kissing me” mentality, he’s more likely thinking “Kissing him isn’t disgusting, so he passes round 3″ (round 1 is the first time with the bat, round 2 is the one where he kills the girl instead of Bum).

The thing is, since Sangwoo didn’t find Bum’s kisses disgusting, it reinforces his desperation to keep Bum with him. If he didn’t like kissing Bum, then I truly believe Bum would’ve died right here and now.

Also, interesting: “You’ll be the only one that ends up hurt, you know?”  So, obviously, Bum having one working leg increases his chances of escape. So this is Sangwoo’s way of saying ‘if you escape, then I’ll make sure to hurt/kill you because of that’.

18. Here comes the sledgehammer

This is an interesting parallel. Looking back at chapter 1, it also seems like only one of the girl’s legs are broken, like how Bum’s leg was after falling down the steps. 

So to keep the girl from escaping, Sangwoo just most likely tied her up. It’s not full-proof and it limits her movements, but Sangwoo probably doesn’t give a shit because with how she’s acting, she wasn’t going to live much longer. 

But for Bum...with Bum, he’s planning to let him live much longer. He doesn’t want to restrict Bum’s movements because that makes him less appealing. Instead, Sangwoo takes it personally--takes it upon himself--to actually break Bum’s legs. This is a much more permanent fixture, reflecting how he’s planning to keep Bum with him for a much longer time. 

Also, now that I’m looking at this, I think Sangwoo doesn’t actually rape his victims. Yeah, he has molested the girl’s dead body, but I think that’s more of a curiosity towards a dead body than actual sexual interest. It’s natural after seeing his mom’s corpse in front of him and all that...screwed up as fuck jazz lol. 

I think he has sex with them in the beginning and that’s probably when he snaps because...his mom raped him, so. After that, he tortures them according to their reaction to him. But he probably doesn’t actually touch them more than that. In the case of hypersexuality, Bum fits this much more than Sangwoo does at this point. Sangwoo seems to just use it as a weapon, while Bum does it because he wants to be fucked. 

This makes sense because it seems like Sangwoo was raped once by his mom and probably molested the other times, while Bum was frequently raped.

Furthermore, Bum--as we’ll later see--is most likely the only one he truly does rape. 

[thejudgingtrash]

Love coming into this blog and seeing someone else say Hera isn't all bad 👌🏽👏🏽

Thank 👏🏽 you 👏🏽

Just know that every time I see someone go ”I hate Hera soooooo much!“ I’m essentially just screaming internally. Why? Literally why? Because she stood up for herself or one of your favorite characters had a shitty encounter with her? Both? If you think deep enough about it and perhaps try to integrate multiple perspectives you may come to a surprising result.

It’s okay for all the characters to have multiple layers, especially for the male characters but once it comes to the female characters... nope. Annabeth is the only female character that is allowed to be the likable asshole apparently, because she (has that white privilege)’s so popular and her being in the main ship with the protagonist shields her from getting that much hate.

The rest of you female characters should all be kept in the easy-going, pretty and nice corner (literally saw someone go off at Silena being the spy in the end in a post?! The spy was meant to be someone you would’ve never expected? Lack of basic reading skills again). Being different is not okay any more? Being complex and having many facets is not good enough? Especially for side characters? Hokay.

Also Hera as the goddess of marriage, family, children, etc. all that stuff, gets blatantly disrespected and ridiculed (by her family and mortals but especially her husband) and people expect her to be okay with shitty treatment and to be the silent trophy wife? Literally what in the fuck. I guess a lot of you are the chillest people ever because I would also just lash out when hubby brings product of an affair #5433 home.

This is so ironic. And sexist. Especially when Poseidon is one of the worst fuckers in canon myth and in the Riordanverse (Percy literally beats around the bush with the rape of Demeter and his perspective makes his father someone he isn’t? Poseidon only used Percy to prevent an inconvenient war in the first book and was like lol fuck off, kiddo after that) and now he’s supposed to be the cool dad when in fact he isn’t close to that???

People are clinging to the flimsiest excuses to blatantly hate Hera. I’m not apologizing for her actions towards demigods and the other women (I can understand them to a certain extent). They are terrible and inexcusable. But also let’s not forget that Riordan set up the messed up plans and characterization for her as he as the author makes all of the decisions. Sure, many decisions from him are stupid/questionable/racist but he is steering the boat and had some thought about the direction of the plot (!)

Additionally, many people forget the skewed narrative and perception of Percy, the other demigods and Riordan’s own views on the myths. All of this adds to make Hera the (in my opinion) cheap ”evil queen“.

I still stand by what I said when I meant that sexism is very present in the pjo fandom as well as most (if not all of them) characterizing people into either good or bad, with no gray areas that are being allowed to be between those positions. This will continue to tear this fandom apart. That’s also the reason why you constantly see the same discussions about Luke being wrong/right/great/terrible flare up.

But no people it’s all cool. Continue hating on someone like Hera that’s standing up for herself despite being abused and disrespected 24/7. The only goddess that actually helped out in HOO. It‘s all cool and gucci.

I hate the partial hypocrisy and denying of antithetical characters having the same right of in-deph discussions like the protagonists. Of accepting their complexity. Guess straight up hating instead of giving it a thought or two is easier.

I have the feeling that I’m anti-meta on so many (niche) topics in this fandom but good to know that I’m not the only one lol

[icespur]

How Baby Deadlights See People

What I mean by this is.....Since Deadlights aren’t exactly nice creatures by nature... They don’t——-form connections or feel positive emotions like love and stuff...

So even as infants, they aren’t attached to their parents like a usual human or animal. They stick around cause they NEED you, and therefore they TOLERATE you cause they need you.

As far as they know and are concerned, a “mother” is a female creature that birthed them that must also care for them until they are old enough, and said mother also tastes delicious.

You are simply a food source and a nanny to them, and that’s it....

So they will probably never go through a “clingy” phase where they cry if you’re out of sight or don’t hold them. Cause they don’t care about you, they care about what you produce.....that being food....

So for those who want a alternate take on Ansley and Babywise. I do have a AU idea where she doesn’t die but instead one of her little sisters gets eaten alive in her place so now she has to try and raise Babywise.

It’s still not a happy AU. The birth still messed her up so Ansley can’t walk anymore. Deadlights don’t feed off of milk, they feast on flesh and blood. Therefore every time Babywise is hungry (which is a lot, cause Deadlights don’t have internal organs by default unless they morph them, so it’s just a tiny baby that’s screaming for food almost 24/7) Ansley has to——mutilate herself or draw blood somehow in order to feed her child.

Ansley knows that her child will grow up to kill everyone. So it’s hard to connect with it. With that knowledge in mind it’s hard for her to feel genuine love and affection for her child cause it’s a heartless monster and no matter how hard she may try to raise it, it’s going to grow up and eat everyone and anything without a second thought. She’s not a mother, she’s a waitress to a apathetic glowing entity that sleeps and cries.

Although as IT grows and starts to become more curious, IT does start to grow on her. It’s hard not to, It’s so tiny and cute but at the same time It’s a little asshole.

Point is, during the first couple months IT only sees you as the only important one. You are it’s food source and therefore the only useful thing.

Now, Ansley’s second little younger sister Agnes (8 years old) of course wants to play and hang out the her newborn nephew/niece. And Babywise has absolutely no idea what to think of her. This small person that looks like the food lady and kinda smells similar to the food lady but doesn’t taste like the bigger food lady. Of course Ansley would never let Agnes draw blood on herself to feed the baby, but whenever Agnes puts her hand close enough the baby licks and tries to suck on her hand.

So since IT has confirmed the tiny food lady clone doesn’t taste like the other food lady. Therefore the tiny food lady is useless to Babywise. But unfortunately the tiny food lady won’t go away cause the tiny food lady lives in the same out as the big food lady that IS useful. So IT sees the usless food lady everyday.

Babywise has no concept of multiple household members so ITs like “oh god, it’s you again. Why are you here?” But it can’t speak yet so IT just makes annoyed glares which only makes the useless food creature giggle and find IT “cute”

Now, when it becomes mobile it becomes much more social and curious.

Oh, but don’t get too excited now, this isn’t as exciting as a phase as you think it is. This phase is exhausting! Because this is the phase where IT must harass random people for no apparent reason and attempt to eat everything in sight while you run after IT trying to make sure it doesn’t swallow a bomb or accidentally waddle off a cliff.

It doesn’t care who you are or what you are doing, ITs going to screw up whatever it is that you are currently doing. Oh hi random stranger who I have definitely never met before. Why are you drinking that strange liquid? That liquid isn’t for me, therefore it’s useless so—-BAM there, now your drink is all over the floor, now you can pay attention to me.

What’s that random person? Your writing on a piece of paper? That looks boring, I’m going to eat your paper with words that you were working on cause I don’t like that you weren’t paying attention to me which is clearly a bigger priority.

Hello random person that is eating food. You have food. Therefore you are my new best friend.

(Same person comes by again, this time without food)

Hey, where did that one person go with the food? That person was fun, where are they?

(If you don’t have food they will act like you don’t exist. If you want to befriend a toddler Deadlight you MUST always come armed with food or else you are a completely different person or don’t exist at all

[perduedanseldarya]

Moonlight Lovers Vladimir Route Episode 2

After a lot of days, emotional damage and mental instability.... I have come to present to you: Moonlight Lovers Vladimir Route Episode 2

And I am introducing this: the red flag count 🚩. Let’s see what we can get. 

1. This is getting weirder with every dialogue...

2. Go talk to Raphael!

3. Raphael is the angel we don’t deserve. 

4. You are usually more discret? Oh boi, let me guess you are one of those people who blush furiously when they have to say sex or penis. 

5. Someone needs to explain to me why no one is helping MC solve her issue with Vladimir. And in what twisted universe is this “choosing the easy way” around the problem? Hello? Dude nearly hit her! 🚩

6 (a). So obviously Vladimir is not going to trust you if you aren’t honest? Bro, I tried. What happened? He lost it! 🚩

6 (b). You tell me Vladimir is very strict with himself? Apparently you and I have very different definitions of “strict”. For me, it literally means having control over your feelings and apologise when you did smt wrong. And maybe, just maybe realise what consequences your actions have on other ppl. 

And now to our darling Vladimir: completely loses it over a garden (is he delusional? in what world do you think is MC capable of doing that?), never apologised for his attempt to hit her, loses it again. Dude literally has zero self-control. Or maybe his definition of strict is... he’s been holding in that same fart for over a century? 

7. Okay I know Vladimir is some kind of great leader for you but... THEM RED FLAGS? 🚩

8. “MC are you alright?” You really asking? 

9. “You can always come to me when you need something?” For what? For you to tell me I’m a coward and that I need to talk to Vladimir? Thank you very much. 

10. How come Aaron, Vladimir and Raphael are from the same time period? I mean Aaron is so chill about everything, Vladimir has literally no self-control, Raphael... is very loyal to Vladimir, almost patriotic.

11. Is Vladimir secretly a cult leader? Who am I kidding. It’s no secret. 

12. Wait, Aaron was born somewhere between the 1400s and the 1500s. The time of the Hundred Years’ War and Spanish Inquisition? How is he still so chill? And he’s the oldest one? Oh boi. 

13. Aaron is a werewolf, fight me. But how is that compatible with being a vampire? Ask Klaus Mikaelson! 

14. Someone please explain to me why in the world MC wants information about “her role as a Chalice”. I mean I would try to find every loophole to get the hell out of this madness. 

(This one’s really random bc I just went on the wikia page and Vladimir is described as “authoritarian”. *sneezes* Excuse-me, I’m allergic to toxic masculinity. When I see “authoritarian”, I think Fifty Shades of Grey, I think abusive, toxic relationships and Moonlight Lovers just added Vladimir to the list. 🚩)

15. Did they just use the EXACT same dialogue for Aaron and Raphael and thought we wouldn’t notice? Like the EXACT same words?

16. Yep, here goes the Vladimir is very strict thing again... and for that I’m spending my AP... next time just come together and finish each other’s sentences or something.

17. Someone explain... why out of all the people who squat in her house, MC chooses to go talk to Beliath? Talking about poor life decisions.

18. Wait the real reason why you’re avoiding Vladimir is... bc HE is mad? Dude I’m avoiding him bc I don’t want to be charged for murder!

19. How to be a Chalice 101, a book by Beliath (does he have a surname?)

20. This dialogue reminds me of that one incorrect every fandom has:

Beliath: We don’t talk about Chalices of other ppl

Eloise: But he’s not the boss of you

Beliath *internally*: It’s a trap, it’s a trap, it’s a trap!

21. Not gonna say anything...but Vladimir is toxic af. “I hope the question is worth the effort” (verbatim translation from German), dude you wanna tell me something? 🚩

22. Well, bc maybe, just maybe bc the rest of the ppl living in my house... are normal compared to you, my dear Vladimir? No offense, Beliath. 

23. Is he jealous? Is he?! Or possessive. 🚩

24. The only one boring me is your toxic attitude! I have seen enough shows to recognise a gaslight when I see one. You tell me I’m chaotic and clumsy? What does that even mean? Bc Ivan yeeted me out of the window? Are we still concerned with that? Why do you want to tell me how I am? 🚩

25. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I wonder why...🚩

26. “Let’s say this part of the story is true.” Manipulative asshole. 🚩

27. Okay, let me get this straight... Vladimir didn’t realise there was blood in the first place? You wanna tell me he came in like a fricking wrecking ball and screamed at MC and he didn’t know there was blood too? 

28. Is Vladimir secretly a sniffer dog?

29. I tell you, Vladimir has an issue with saying penis. The way he describes blood... reminds me of how uncomfortable primary school teachers were when they had to tell you about sex. 

30. They touched hands! 

31. Okay let me get this straight... I honestly don’t see in what world this is a complicated situation for everyone. I mean for Vladimir it’s definitely a win-win situation... He has a walking blood bank and doesn’t have to pay rent. I don’t see the issue here. 

32. Is he petting her? I’m getting Fifty Shades Darker feels here...

33. Vladimir, leave my poor boy Ivan alone? Is he locking him in? 🚩

34. Well, that was unexpected? 

Red flags 🚩 count: 10 (which is a lot better than I expected in the beginning)

[sleepbeeboys]

one hundred reasons not to kill yourself

1. people love you

2. everything will be okay one day. i promise

3. what about all your dreams and goals? how can you accomplish them if you’re dead?

4. we’re all going to die eventually anyways, so make your life the best it can be while you still can!

5. the world sucks without a beautiful person like you

6. lesbians are going to take over the world soon, don’t you want to be around to see that?

7. you’ve probably been told this so many times, but i’ll say it again. suicide is permanent. please, stay alive.

8. you’re such a wonderful and amazing person. you don’t deserve to die, you don’t deserve any of the harm you’re doing to yourself.

9. people you’ve never even met care about you because you’re just that awesome

10. you’ve fallen down, okay? just get back up again. we’ll help you.

11. it’s going to be okay soon. just wait

12. help is out there.

13. i don’t care that you think you deserve to die. it’s not true.

14. one day you’ll smile for real. you’ll be happy, genuinely happy. and it will feel like the best thing in the world, and you’ll feel so glad that you’re still alive to feel that way.

15. you still haven’t finished that bottle of conditioner. what, is it supposed to sit there? go on, use it. and then buy some more, because you can’t die until there is no more conditioner. i strictly forbid it.

16. that feeling of listening to a song that’s been stuck in your head all day

17. being able to talk about something you feel strongly about for as long as you want

18. finally starting a show you’ve been wanting to watch for a while

19. finishing that show you finally started watching

20. seeing someone do something stupid and being able to laugh at them

21. hearing a great song and falling in love with it

22. crying over something so beautiful that you cant handle it and who did what to deserve something like that

23. seeing someone’s absolutely perfect art on your dash

24. being in that confusing state of emotions somewhere between happy and nostalgic and just being able to cry, but it’s some weird form of good crying

25. making fun of/laughing at your past self

26. hearing something so great that it just,, shocks you and you forget how to move

27. shower thoughts

28. sighing at @dennys

29. stranger things season three

30. finally meeting a goal you’ve had for a really long time

31. your favorite song finally being released on itunes/spotify/whatever

32. hearing your favorite song for the first time

33. hearing your favorite song for the fifth time

34. hearing your favorite song for the hundredth time

35. hearing your favorite song for the first time in a while and it still being just as amazing

36. screaming internally because you just love something so mUCH

37. sitting alone on an afternoon in summer and enjoying the warm breeze

38. baby animals !!!

39. sleeping under the stars

40. watching a new movie and absolutely loving it

41. memorizing the soundtrack from said movie

42. hugging someone you haven’t seen in a really long time

43. taking some time for yourself

44. doing something and being proud of it because it actually looks good

45. gazing at the clouds and making funny shapes out of them

46. people who can play multiple instruments exist

47. constellations!!!!!!!!!

48. i mean yeah cuddling with your s/o is nice but,,, cuddling with your best friend???? is so great??????

49. iconic vines

50. fluffy pajama pants

51. my sixth period teacher loves you. she said so herself. i heard it.

52. you have a place in life

53. i love you

54. you MATTER

55. you’re absolutely wonderful

56. don’t turn back now

57. you deserve to stay alive here

58. i’m making suicide illegal, you can’t kill yourself its. illegal

59. tom holland

60. you’re beautiful

61. tom holland is a fucking trained ballet dancer

62. so is robert downey jr.

63. thats a nice thought to have

64. stupid jokes

65. so many other AMAZING people are going to be born, and you could meet them

66. chris pine singing spidey bells

67. just. chris pine

68. bagels

69. don’t die. eat cereal.

70. i took the time to come up with one hundred reasons. one hundred. thats. a lot. and i did it for you.

71. holding hands

72. platonically holding hands

73. people will be sad

74. they’ll cry

75. because they miss you

76. green day is still around

77. so is panic! at the disco

78. and fall out boy!

79. and most likely your favorite artist

80. i still have twenty more reasons why you shouldn’t kill yourself

81. self harm hurts

82. emotionally and mentally, probably not too much physically

83. you’re amazing

84. and very beautiful

85. thomas sanders (@thatsthat24)

86. whipping out an uno reverse card when someone’s an asshole

87. we still don’t know what happened in budapest

88. cards against humanity might buy tumblr

89. america sucks let’s all watch it burn

90. canada

91. we love you canada

92. phil lester (@amazingphil) is alive on this planet with us and that’s all that matters

93. let’s not forget dan howell (@danielhowell) is ALSO alive on this planet with us

94. do we deserve any of the wonderful people on this earth? no

95. but are they here anyways? yes

96. if you try to kill yourself i’ll break into your house and stop you

97. maybe not physically but i’ll be there in spirit

98. you know why? because i care

99. so many people care

100. and you’ve made it this far

[serendipitous-magic]

WHAT that screen cap trailer has got me SO HYPED gosh I am READY give me that beautiful in character Jopper and Dustin being wonderful and everyone being overprotective like they were in S2 and Will having none of that this time and facing up to the Mind Flayer and El kicking ass while also coming of age and oh wow this is already perfect and exactly what I wanted from the season 3 that never dropped *screams from the rooftops* YES!!!

(referring to this btw)

(kermit flail) yyyaaaaayyyy!!

It is so so cool that peeps are onboard with this, you have no idea. And honestly, now that you’ve started a mini-list of what The Real Season 3, lemme just get some thoughts out of my brain real quick (pertaining to what TRS3 will and will not include, as far as the Netflix Season 3).

(I’ll put it under a read-more line in case y’all don’t want spoilers. Assuming the read-more line even works. Tumblr has been so weird about that lately.)

(Again: warning, spoilers!)

Things that The Real Season 3 Will Have:

-Nancy and Jonathan having their interns-going-after-a-story-and-solving-a-mystery plot, which eventually weaves in with the other groups’ plots (I didn’t end up having space for them in the “screenshot trailer,” but fear not: they’re there).

-Robin. She’s not quite as much of a main character, like she was in that-thing-that-never-happened, but she’s there, and she’s gay. (However: I don’t think she’ll get a full coming-out scene, a) because she’s known Steve for like a day at this point, b) there wasn’t room in the plot for a ton of Scoops Troop stuff.)

-Dustin actually being part of the Party instead of always being off with the Scoops Troop (don’t worry, we also get Dustin being part of the Scoops Troop - just not 24/7. He also gets to hang with his friends).

-Jopper scenes where they’re not assholes to each other (seriously, that bugged me so much in that-thing-that-never-happened. It was so wrong.) Furthermore, Jopper scenes where they trust each other and work together and treat each other as friends (and obviously there’s mutual pining but they’re stubborn and plus Joyce is still grieving Bob)

-Speaking of: characters that, if my writing skills are up to snuff, actually act like the people we know from seasons 1 and 2 (or at least, aren’t weird, flat, one-dimensional zombie versions of themselves)

-Remember how much season 2 (and S1, if you dig a little deeper) hinted at Will having powers? Hmmm..... interesting

-Will and El getting some bonding, and having that weird parallel-fates unspoken connection

-The inherent problems in mileven are addressed

-El and Max get their trip to the mall, their bonding time, and their sleepover; Max helps El along in her journey of finding herself, independent of the roles that have been thrust on her (test subject, daughter, girlfriend, etc.)

-The byeler fight is actually addressed after it happens

-Furthermore, the destruction of Castle Byers is addressed after it happens and it’s not just brushed off into oblivion

-The Upside Down (like, the actual place). Seriously, what happened to it in that-thing-that-didn’t-happen? Did the writers forget it existed except for like .2 seconds when B*lly sees it for some reason?

-The Mind Flayer has taken a special interest in Will, for reasons

-And speaking of, Will has to face that again

-The Monster Hunting Squad reunites 

-Byeler. (And that’s all I’ll say about that.)

-A happy ending. Becausefuckyouduffersthat’swhy.

Things that The Real Season 3 Will Not Have:

-Russians. Like, at all. No Russians. No Russian stereotypes stomping around being outsmarted by teenagers. A similar function in the plot (the creation of the Key which the US Government is using to try to open the Gate again) can be filled by previously established villains and the good old-fashioned US Government, mucking everything up as usual. And speaking of...

-Over-the-top patriotism, product placement and capitalism-worship. (Why. Whyyyy.)

-The b*lly/karen thing. Just... no. Nope.

-Hopper bumbling around being a weird drunken caricature of himself and being an asshole to Joyce

-Hopper threatening Mike and lying to El and Joyce about it (also no resulting “my nana is sick” bullshit drama in the Party)

-The goo-monster Mind Flayer form. I felt like that whole thing was basically just a CGI-fest, and it just didn’t fit with the themes and rules established in the first two seasons. The Mind Flayer remains as it was in S2: a shadow-monster with a kind of dust/shadow form, which can possess beings from this dimension (however, there is a twist)

-Murray. His arc was finished in S2, tbh, and he especially doesn’t need to tell Jopper to get it on. Gross.

-Joyce being preoccupied with magnets and barely even thinking about or checking up on her sons (which was is like a HUGE part of her character and personality in the canonical seasons)

-The Knockoff Terminator

-Erica. Sorry. I like her character, but there’s just not much room for more characters without bloating the plot (side-eyes that one thing that never happened).

-Beating up the Mayor for no obvious logical reason and with no apparent consequences (??????)

-The boys being all like “Oh, girls are a different species and we can win them back by buying them pretty trinkets, also we’re going to lounge around focusing exclusively on girls for like half the season!”

-A plot supported solely on dating drama and empty action without emotion driving it (Not to sound full of myself, but I’m pretty sure my writing skills will at the very least give us a plot that actually has some basis in emotion - you know, like the first two seasons did, which was why S1 and S2 were so good).

-The Byers moving away (maybe that’s too spoilery, but I just wanted to reassure y’all in case you were worried about having to go through that heartbreak all over again).

_-_-_-_

Okay that’s enough spoilers! Lol. Sorry, but also kind of not sorry.

Oh and speaking of... I’ll be starting work on Ch 1 tomorrow. (Like, actually writing it. The outline is done, except for a couple little details I’ll probably go back and add in/tweak as I go, but I am officially ready to start writing.) 

[commonalex]

Sensors

So uhhh… “commonalex_”, “Common Alex”, “cOmMoN aLeX”..?  It’s basically the same, pick your fave, no biggie. It’s just that commonalex really blurs the line between an alias and a username, ever since people’s legal name seem more and more out of date for their purpose. A name assigned to you like that without any option back then can’t reflect the scumbag you ended up today, and people are slowly realising this. Like, how many can identify you just by your grandparents’ name generator and how many know you as that richie_tameimpala93 fuck that posts these shit ass stories everyone skips? How many know Bruce instead of Batman? How many know this kid instead of, uhhh, y’know, his actual name (yeah it’s in the title, I know, shut up)? How did you come up with a poetry collection- you know- living and breathing in <place current year here>? Like, what the fuck?  You have a point there (laughs). I know well how cringey, dumb or miserable poetry slams can be, how pretentiousness creeps behind these weird haikus your aunt posts on fb and how exhausting all these rumblings without any trace of cohesion but a bunch of enters smashed here and there (cracking up). This is why I tried to not have a single line without a purpose. All that’s left is what I want to communicate as transparent and less chatterboxy possible to prove that whatever I made has a point and a place (hilariously shitting ourselves from manic laughter, a priest preaches above us at the moment and we get dirt thrown at us due to death by funny as hell humor and such). Mmm, sounding a bit guilty. Like you were ashamed somehow to do something like this. Why’s that oh dear conventionalalexander_?  It was the most natural thing to put out as a finished work. Prose and short stories have their charm, ok, but I always have to convey what I want to say behind a cAtChY enough premise that seems worthy for someone to read it; even just for the aesthetics. With poetry I cut the middleman on one hand and on the other I get closer to the art format I prefer the most, music albums. I used this approach like I was writing my “album”, either by following some beat inside my head or planning out the structure of what I intended to capture with all this. So my collection consists of 12 “tracks”; enough to trigger an effect (or some sort of a situation) without getting tiresome. I know the attention spans I have to deal with. I don’t want to give people chores. I want to chat with someone as long as it takes to take a better peek inside my head. That’s very woke, my man, congrats. Sensors really seem like just the right kind of thing to be put inside the literature textbooks of the future along with Rupi Kaur, Savannah Brown and this particular man over here.  I’m not delusional, Sensors ain’t getting anywhere. Not that I didn’t want it, in some sense. I planned to print 40 copies of it and push them for free to whoever would like to pity me, but the world decided to turn into a huge distributed big brother-esque shit filled people spamming 24/7 that we all are going to die. It didn’t take me much time to understand during these circumstances that my plan wouldn’t quite fit to Sensors either way. It’s a product of the internet and self-inflicted isolation, it can’t afford to lose its home court advantage. All this crushes every hidden dream of mine about seeing my bs printed, collecting dust on somebody’s bookshelf, just to boast about how much of a totally real writer I am to poor innocent people that have the misfortune to listen to me talking. Ok look this might seem to make some sense but no one gives a flying fuck go get a actual job you moron like for fuck sake nobody asked for this why are you still talking about it go fuck yourself asshole.  I'm trying so hard to not be seen as some cynical douche playing the know-it-all schtick. I really do. However, I do understand how much can a bunch of poems worth at this very moment (spoiler alert: fewer than absolute nothing). Debord wrote that forms of expression such as poetry are doomed, something I both understand and get behind. Nevertheless I ain't planning on no such thing as a "resurrection"; nostalgia is the coward's approach towards the fear of today's uncertainty. I write about now, as a person that lives in sync and deals with the shit of the present. Anything else would be a clumsy grave-digging attempt that screams "boohoo I was born in the wrong generation", even with the best of intentions. And why would anyone care about this, man?  Dunno.  This extremely sterile type of expression just for the sake of the expression you typically find inside boring ass museum exhibitions, bittersweet classic literature or fake deep songs always bugged me and always motivated me to find alternatives that would bypass those miserable bullshit, just so I could draw some loose gray parallels with what I was living at the moment.  But alternatives got more and more scarce, and the internal burning started making its way to my throat and hand. I couldn't feel through other hosts anymore and this "oh ok then I guess I'm gonna make it myself instead" attitude didn't quite work out. I began to censor myself based on the assumption that by this way I wouldn't get lost in pretentiousness and laziness of the "others". I was literally explaining everything I wrote while I was writing it with a stupid perfectionist complex in the back of my head, just so my works would pass the test of time by not making me cringe just as much as reading sad fanfics of a person who really needs friends (and yet to this day I can't read anything I wrote without feeling like I got kicked in the balls).      I've lost the way to talk about exactly what’s eating me from the inside because I'm afraid I might look too obvious and banal. I've lost the words needed to express myself and honestly I can't feel a thing around me anymore. But I'm in the process of fixing that, for real. I now realise how in vain all my efforts to connect back to the world were, until Sensors came to help me. To remember once again my sense of humanity and hug the shit out of it. To show the damage I caused upon myself by being disconnected all this time. To get a better look at what boasts my reaction, my blues, my sex drive and my creativity deep inside.      This is a start of something already ending.  These are the data I got this far from my new Sensors. 

Online aesthetic reading over at commonsensors.github.io

Download the pdf chapbook here