#interhouse unity

[hp-fanfic-archive]

Project (or Curse?) by venis_envy Pairing: Harry/Draco Rating: M Word Count: 21k In order to build trust and inter-house unity, the Ministry School Board has designed an obligatory N.E.W.T. project for the eighth year students. Paired off, each team will be assigned a Charmed puffskein and required to share a room with their “families” throughout the term. If they all survive that long.

[dramioneasks]

In the Snake Pit | A Dramione fic - evilqueen01232 - M, WIP - The Light has won the war. Headmistress Minerva McGonagall has made it compulsory for all those who missed their 7th year to retake their final year, but she no longer believes the original house allegiances stand. All 8th years are set to be re-sorted into new houses as part of the efforts to recuperate after the war. What happens when two-thirds of the Golden trio find themselves in the House of Cunning and Ambition, and the other finds himself tainted with a force far beyond his control? What happens when Hermione makes a startling discovery about her heritage and finds herself grappling with the implications and Magic it comes with? What happens when the Brightest Witch of her age is forced to change her priorities, find family where she never expected to, and comfort in the arms of the boy who had no choice? The answers all lie in the Snake Pit. A story about ancient magic, a corrupted soul that conjures Nightmares and a not-so-dead Headmaster. A story about forgiveness, finding yourself, and of course, saving the world. But most importantly, a story about a boy and a girl that were tested at every turn, but fell in love despite the odds.

[elisedonut]

I've been so freaking obsessed with Evan Rosier/Percy Weasley time travel fic.

Starts out as a Voldemort wins AU and Percy time travels to the past, ends up about 16/17 and back in Hogwarts, sorted into Slytherin, he doesn't know shit about Voldemort or how to prevent the war, so he does the only logical thing he can. Becomes a better alternative to Voldemort. Yup, straight up Percy Weasley cult, yes I'm doing that :P

It takes a while, but most of the other students are more or less on board, except Evan Rosier. He's hanging around because his friends are all enamoured, but he's suspicious, he doesn't trust Percy. Percy thinks he's hot c: Evans emotionally constipated self thinks Percy is hot too :p but very sus and he doesn't trust easy

So basically Percy has to change the future by forcing the Hogwarts population into therapy, becoming a sort of accidental cult leader, joining the pta and uniting with parents in ways that change actually happens even if they don't like some things he says, changing some of the dumb things the teachers do, changing the gryffindor bias, promoting interhouse unity and all that fun stuff :D

Yk like litte things that change everything

His and Evans dynamic is kinda like

Evan: *shaking the front of Percy's robes* I don't know who the fuck you are, or what you're playing at but I'm going easy on you because my friends like you. But you so much as stub their toe, you are dead, do you hear me?

Percy: That's nice, mind the robes will you? They're new. Unlike some people I can't afford buying new ones for every idiot who randomly decides to assault me.

Evan: You kissed Mulciber?

Percy: What of it

Evan: No- I just- Mulciber? He's probably got some- I don't know, infectious disease!

Percy: If I didn't know better I'd think you wanted to kiss me.

Evan: *spluttering*

Evan: Why were you hanging around with Snape

Percy: *flipping page of his book* We were discussing the importance of media literacy in charged political climates

Evan: *darkly* Of course you were.

Percy: Is there a problem?

Barty: *popping up out of nowhere with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle at Evan* Yeah, why are you bothering him Evan, it's like your obsessed :)

Evan: I am not obsessed! I just- I- I just think maybe his lordship shouldn't leave everyone out of interesting discussions!

Barty: Seriously.

Percy: Actually, that's a good point Rosier. Thank you for pointing that out. How about tomorrow we properly launch debate club! I'll go ask professor Slughorn, Rosier will you assist me?

Evan: *dying inside* Whatever. I don't have anything else that I'm doing so like- yeah

Evan doesn't know why the fuck Percy is crying but he gets it. He gets what it's like and he doesn't trust him, can't trust him, can't make that shrivelled little thing inside him reach out and accept someone new, but he can understand. And he holds him. And Percy cries into his jumper until he's asleep and then Evan tells himself he should go, he shouldn't be here, it feels so wrong to see this boy so vulnerable and trusting but he stays and in the morning they don't talk about it. In the morning Avery fawns a little as he pours milk in Percy's cereal and he sneers just the same as usual, a hufflepuff asks for Percy's thoughts on rock music and he scoffs and rolls his eyes the same as usual but he finds himself checking if Percy actually eats the food they give him, seeing the dark circles under the redheads eyes, seeing the smudged and filled up schedule he keeps worrying over

ASDFGHJKL I CAN'T GET OVER THEM PLS

oh sounds neat

ngl I don't really know anything about Evan because I'm not a Marauder girlie like at all

Death Eaters are honestly my least favorite people to pair with Percy personally and there's not many that I do actively like

so i don't tend to pay them much attention unless i find them interesting for some other reason

because as anyone who's been here long enough can probably tell i have a hard time caring about characters unless i can tie them back to Percy in some way or another

but regardless yeah Percy and Time travel are two of my favorite fic genres so i could see the appeal

Percy trying to start a cult himself is very funny though

like at this point he just doesn't know what else to try so he's just kind of like fuck it i guess ill try this

it is neat because Evan's the only one seemingly suspicious and in a way his suspicions are right like Percy is 100% up to something its just that the something isn't actually a bad thing really

Also your writing him so jealous thats always fun

[storiesofsung]

TWST HP AU 🪞⚡️ !!

AcexYuuxMalleus

Yuu will be depicted as female in this with she/her pronouns

I’ve been thinking of an AU of this for a while now due to the similarities between each story (magical school of wizards with respective houses of each powerful mage), however as I think more there are even more character similarities some, depending on how you view Yuu

🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞

Golden Trio ⭐️- obviously Ace, Deuce, and Yuu, my favorite trio

Deuce ♠️ - Harry Potter. I can’t connect many similarities between them, but at the same time I can. They’re both boys who love their parents and just try to do the best in what they can, especially since both have been given a second chance to succeed in this magical world. Now, Deuce isn’t perfect but he is trying and is not overtly prone to breaking the rules. He’s sweet, innocent, while still having bite to his bark. A bit clueless at times but with good intentions.

Ace ❤️- Ok now this asshole is perfect for Ron (I’m joking). But honestly his more outlandish personality does have some comparison towards Ron’s sarcastic personality. He’s more on the laid back side whilst still being a valuable friend. (Also they’re both ginger lmao) Plus his relationship with Yuu is more on the chill play fighting side, anyways…

Yuu 🦐 - Hermione, this one can be taken lightly depending on how your version of Yuu is but one thing is for sure: they always get Ace and Deuce out of overblot situations and manage to use some sort of semblance of a brain to figure shit out. However, in my AU let’s say that Yuu too is trying to make a life for themselves by working hard and doing the most they can of their schoolwork. Yuu also being the glue that holds these two idiots together. And honestly her whole schtick as the school therapist now makes sense

Grim 🐱 - Crookshanks. Nothing more to say, just Yuu’s stupid cat (with love)

Also the whole racist thing with Hermione and Yuu could have a connection, since Yuu basically has no magical abilities, yet are able to attend this magical school and work their way up. And because of this, there may be students opposed to Yuu’s magiclessness (mudblood—)

Extra:

Malleus 🐉- Victor Krum, this is slightly stretching it a bit but I can see these two sharing similarities. Malleus and Krum are both exemplary at their respective wizarding sport (Spelldrive, and Quidditch) and are known to be prodigies of it. They don’t have many friends due to being viewed as Gods, Celebrities, etc. in some way and therefore are quite lonely. Attracted to this specific person for not fawning over them and for seeing who they really are, and are able to appreciate their brains for what it’s worth 💚💚

Extra extra:

I totally see the Yule ball sequence happening in the TWST HP au because of these specific lines

❤️: Hoy, Yuu, you’re a girl arent you

🦐: Oh, well spotted

❤️: How about uh you and me go, since we don’t have dates as it is. Don’t wanna show up by ourselves right

🦐: for your information I already have a date *shuts book and walks away*

❤️: What’s got her wand in a knot

♠️: *clueless, spacing out* huh

And malleus totally showing up as yuus secret date AAAA—

🦐: Would you care to join Malleus and I?

❤️: Care to? You’re fraternizing with the enemy

🦐 *irritated*: The point of interhouse games is unity and—

❤️: *rolling eyes* So what

🦐*understanding the situation*: You’ve been rotten the whole evening. Next time there’s a ball, pluck up the courage to ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort

❤️: Women are scary

🦐: ACE, you’ve spoiled everything.

*cue weeping on the steps*

♠️: 🧍

And in likeliness, Yuu could end up with Malleus, and become the next Queen of Thorn Valley…but it could also take to the more erm in-canon Harry Potter ending cough (do you see where I’m going with this)

“Emotional range of a teaspoon x Nerdy Bookworm “

I love this AU, I could honestly go in so many directions with this AU

🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞⚡️🪞

[hpdrizzle]

🌈 HP Drizzle Fic 🌧️

☔ May All Your Christmases Be White 

💧 Pairing: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter  💧 Teen and Up, 16725  💧 Weather: Snowy  ⚡ Warnings/Tags: Drinking Tags: Snow, Christmas, 5+1 Things, Vignette, Mutual Pining, POV Draco Malfoy, DRACO MALFOY IS A DRAMA QUEEN, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Minor Angst, various side characters - Freeform, Background Relationships, Interhouse Unity, Good Slytherins, Bisexual Harry Potter, Gay Draco Malfoy, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Weather, HP Drizzle 2023 

☔ Summary: 

It is impossible for Draco to deny the inherent festivity that Christmas brings. From Yuletide carols to fairylights, evergreens festooned with baubles in a rainbow of colors to pub nights with friends wrapped in their warmest coats. There is a level of hope that the season always seems to bring, even when life is at it's darkest. All around him are the things making the spirit of the season. People are happy.  At least, that's what he assumes. At this point, he doesn't know. For him, the holidays have not always proved to be a merry season.  What Draco does know, without any doubt, is there is one thing Christmas always needs to feel like the holiday has truly arrived. And that one thing is snow. Although, over time, he realises there is one other thing that he has begun to associate with Christmas, something he needs for the holiday to feel real. Harry Potter.

Read on AO3

[themurphyzone]

I just had this really stupid scenario for a PatB spoof of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone where Brain goes after the titular stone so he can devalue the wizarding world's currency by creating lots of gold, inflate the price of gold to ridiculous levels, and bring the entire economy to a standstill so he can take over the wizarding world.

Because he and Pinky are mice kept for Transfiguration practice and Brain is tired of being turned into an actual teapot (and if Pinky sings I'm a Little Teapot one more time he's gonna feed him to the giant squid). Seriously, the wizards are not kind to animals here.

But in order to accomplish this, he and Pinky must become professors at Hogwarts. Brain is the professor and Pinky is the teacher's aide here, and their excuse for being talking mice is that they had an accident with magic. Everyone just accepts this.

The mice's curriculum isn't really spectacular compared to the other professors. While Brain tries to have lesson plans, Pinky tends to derail them into other fun fun silly willy topics, but between the pair of them, the class is surprisingly engaging and the students never know what they'll learn next. The subjects tend to be a hodgepodge of what you'll find in a normal school. Brain actually finds it appalling that the kids are 11 years old and they don't know basic history or science. The mice even perform Brainstem for the students when teaching anatomy.

Other things:

Pinky hates Scabbers with a passion. Brain is under the impression that it's because Scabbers is a rat, but Pinky thinks there's something up with him.

Brain doesn't allow cats and owls in his classroom for obvious reasons.

Brain gets very into Quidditch and is into calculations and fantasy teams and all that. Pinky doesn't understand the sport at all but he enjoys the excitement.

Pinky loves Divination. Brain thinks it's a load of crap.

Brain doesn't give House Points to any of the four houses. But he will dish out points for Pinky. And he does it A LOT. At the end of the year, it's revealed that Brain has given Pinky so many points that he edges out Gryffindor for the win, much to everyone's shock. Dumbledore is like 'um, ten points for Gryffindor for...being in matching uniforms!' and the professors tell him to stop showing favoritism, because it's already too late.

Pinky wins the House Cup, treats it like he's won an Oscar, and all the angry students chase them out of Hogwarts because they've been cheated out of the House Cup and Dumbledore is like 'see, I told you those two would promote interhouse unity! You owe me a hundred lemon drops, Minerva!'

[dhr-ao3]

Returned for Hope Stayed for Love

Returned for Hope, Stayed for Love https://ift.tt/XdkU2OA by Persephones_Heart (Percy_Quod_Quintus) Our little group of Gryffs and Snakes might start off with shaky interhouse unity forced upon then by McGonagall, but they'll end up staying together for the good times, love, and great sex ;). Don't like, don't read. Words: 533, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Series: Part 1 of 8th Year Fics Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Ron Weasley, Harry Potter, Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson, Poppy Pomfrey, Ginny Weasley Relationships: Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini, Pansy Parkinson/Ron Weasley, Minerva McGonagall/Poppy Pomfrey, Theodore Nott/Ginny Weasley, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: hogwarts 8th year, Gryffindorks and Slytherdingdongs, Everyone is friends, Fix-it fic, slight time travel, Inappropriate use of a time turner, Firewhiskey, Veritaserum, Truth or Dare (hogwarts idiot edition), Smut, no really, Like lots of it, no beta we die like snape, A little bit of angst, Fluff, Explicit Consent, Smut and Fluff, They're all a bit traumatized via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/NhGKxAY March 13, 2024 at 02:47AM

[futo-m0m0]

Ouroboros CH16 Preview :)

It was a packed room and though a party like this was held with the excuse of interhouse unity, there was a clear corner where the snakes had nested, and they were speaking loudly enough to be overheard quite easily. For all the jokes, James was surrounded, and it was clear the Slytherins in the vicinity were hungry for some good entertainment.

He was attempting to subtly prod Regulus to say something, ease his way into what was a volatile situation at best. Their little audience, otherwise known as Regulus' friends, seemed to be relishing in the stretching silence. Likely wondering how James' presence would be excused as; friend or foe?

“It’s advantageous to know people like Potter,” Regulus cut in suddenly, voice clipped to the point that James cringed. He trailed off like there was supposed to be something else said to vouch for his friend, but after a beat, there were no more carefully articulated words to be added. Regulus huffed out a sigh before once again checking out of the conversation. 

It wasn’t as if James was irked, but some support would be appreciated.

Though that obviously wasn’t coming any time soon, as Regulus had passed the period of a giggly buzz, skipped over the loud raucous laughter like his friends, and had landed on the train to being thoroughly wasted.

James attempted to continue the conversation, because he wasn’t the type of coward to run away with his tail in between his legs now. He refused to think he couldn’t keep up with the two in front of him. At least Flint was being nice, James could tell the snark from before had cooled somewhat. Or maybe the other boy was humouring the attempt at niceties after Regulus short remark about James’ worth.

[ao3-hp-fanfic-reader]

All the HP fanfic on AO3 ranked by kudos #4

The standard you walk past by bafflinghaze

Let’s jump right in with a summary. This fic revolves around Draco’s POV. It’s Hogwarts 8th year post war. Draco is forced to attend his final year via his parole conditions and McGonagall decides to room Harry and Draco together as a testament to interhouse unity. Harry starts sleepwalking into Draco’s bed due to nightmares. Draco is forced to wake up multiple times to send him back or just let him stay. Harry is committed to becoming at the least friendly with Draco, but the rest of the students do not agree with Draco being back at Hogwarts. Word count: 46,202 Content warnings: smut, homophobia. Main ship: drarry

I think this one was cute! It wasn’t great by and measure but absolutely wasn’t bad. Draco and Harry’s relationship was a liiitttllleee idealistic in terms of how it came to be, but it’s really cute. I’m a sucker for sleepwalking fanfics, and I really liked how they did it in this one. Draco’s inner monologue is very well thought out and descriptive. This is a bit of a slow burn, so don’t expect them to hook up as soon as Harry winds up in Draco’s bed!

The writer focuses a lot in Draco’s legimency as a means for communication and seeing into Harry’s dreams. It was super cool. There’s a lot of hurt/ comfort feelings when Harry finds out he’s been sleeping in Draco’s bed, as well as when Draco is confronted by all the trauma Harry has from the war.

Speaking of the war, I think they’re characters were pretty good. They both had appropriate levels of trauma from the war and devealoped characters from that. That being said, there is room for improvement. I do think that Harry was way too friendly towards Draco way too quickly and had a childish way of interacting with him. Same with Draco I don’t think he was stoic enough from war trauma. But these are small details, the characters are not bad, they’re good enough. (I think I’m just picky about Hogwarts 8th year au).

As for smut, I believe it is only half a chapter at the very end of the fic. It’s not sex but just a little bit of oral. It’s short and not atrocious to read. The fic is suuupppeer fluffy rather than smutty. I liked the fluff to smut ratio. I think more smut might’ve actual improved the balance of the book, the one smut scene did seem to appear and disappear out of nowhere. But the fluff is all very nice, I promise to is fic will have you squealing with joy.

So I would recommend this fic. It’s a short fluff fic for those trying times that is actually decent. Obviously this isn’t the best fluff fic you will ever read, but if you’re just looking for a quick and easy fix, this will do it.

[ao3feed-romione]

A Revival of Spirit

A Revival of Spirit by blacksunshine29

Harry, surrounded on each side by his closest friends, steps out of the Headmaster's office and is suddenly confronted with the cold, hard, almost unimaginable fact that it is all over. Everything he fought for, everything he stands for, everything he'd believed in for the past seven years was won, it was over, and he hasn't even reached his eighteenth birthday yet. As they walk down the halls, avoiding eye contact with the bodies strewn helplessly across the floor, trying not to notice the walls that once held them close and have now crumbled down, purposefully not stepping in the blood that pools and runs in small streams across the floor, Harry feels a sudden feeling of unease, like he's misplaced something important but he can't remember exactly what.

The highlands call him home. He walks towards nothing and away from everything.

Words: 2309, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: Gen

Characters: Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, Hannah Abbott, Pansy Parkinson, Mandy Brocklehurst

Relationships: Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger & Harry Potter & Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy & Harry Potter, Hermione Granger & Draco Malfoy, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Ron Weasley & Hannah Abbott, Ron Weasley & Weasley Family, Ron Weasley & Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter & Pansy Parkinson

Additional Tags: think "in a week" by hozier, after the war, harry feels empty, and apathetic, ron and hermione are perfect, Hogwarts Eighth Year, they live in a little cottage together, Roommates, and they were ROOMMATES, Healing, slowly, but healing nonetheless, harry and pansy friendship, Rebuilding Hogwarts, Harry and Draco friendship, ron and hannah love quidditch, feels like senioritis, Found Family, chudley cannons suck, Interhouse Unity, mcgonagall slays, professor vector, he's depressed essentially, It Gets Better, he finds pockets of happiness, ginny is not a villian, she slays, just not with harry, i support the ginny is gay agenda, mandy is wonderful, the Scottish Highlands, harry is an aspiring recluse

Read Here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44161969

[hp-fanfic-archive]

Don’t mind if I keep your tie (And your heart, babe) by Ingi Pairing: Harry/Draco Rating: G Word Count: 21k The Eighth year common room has a parrot in it, courtesy of McGonagall and her mad search for interhouse bonding. Most of the time, it’s just there, until one day it repeats “Potter has a damn fine arse.” And the Slytherins know exactly who the parrot’s mimicking… Draco is not amused.

[dramioneasks]

Patience and Parolees - Mykonos19 - M, WIP - Five years after the war, the children of Death Eaters are up for parole. They must be sponsored by another witch or wizard to spend a year on parole, or spend another five years in Azkaban - the only catch is that they have to live with their sponsor. Harry Potter offers to sponsor Draco Malfoy. Hermione Granger sponsors Pansy Parkinson. Ronald Weasley sponsors Blaise Zabini. Neville Longbottom sponsors Theodore Nott. Ginny Weasley sponsors Daphne Greengrass. Luna Lovegood sponsors Astoria Greengrass. Fred and George Weasley sponsor Gregory Goyle; What could go wrong? Or right?

[va9art]

The year is 1999, and for the Christmas Ball (which theme is #InterHouseUnity), every students is requested to forget about their own house colours in favour of any of the remaining other three houses’ colours.

Please have this Draco in Gryffindor Red and a rather Slytherin Hermione crowned in snakes.

[thedrarrylife]

A/N: As you continue to watch me throw these ideas about, you will undoubtably get a very good sense of what my tropes are. I'm about to drop a twofer on you now.

With the interest of interhouse unity in mind Headmistress McGonagal and the rest of the teaching staff have put together an unique event for Harry's eighth year at Hogwarts. Masquarade balls have been scheduled one a month every month for the entire year for the returning 6th, 7th, and 8th years. Attendance to be mandatory. Formal attire is required, and the masks are provided by the staff and are charmed to glamour ones hair and voice to be unrecognizable to those around you. You are not allowed to say your name, or give away any details about yourself that could give away who you are to the people you talk to. The point, after all, is to get to know people outside the prejudices of the past.

From the very first Ball, Harry finds himself drawn to a lone figure not really mingling with the crowds and makes it a point to go over and say hi. He doesn't recognize the person, obviously, but as the two ease into a comfortable banter, Harry can't shake the idea that this person seems so familiar to him. Even if he's certain he has never talked with whoever they are like this before.

As the months move forward and the balls continue, despite the glamours on the mask changing each time, Harry finds himself able to seek out the company of this person again and again. Soon he manages to come to the realization the he just might be starting to fall for this person, and hard.

On the other hand, school is proving to be more aggrivating by the week and that is due in no small part to one Draco Malfoy who came back for his final year as part of his probation after the trials. Malfoy isnt actually doing anything, and that's really the problem, isnt it? He's always pegged Malfoy to be a coward, but he's never known the blond to be cowed by the animosity around him. All bark and no bite was always the norm, but now Malfoy doesn't even whimper. Harry never liked the stupid git before, but this new Malfoy Harry can definitely do without. He wants to see Malfoy fight back again. Just once. But he has no idea how to go about making it happen, and friends don't seem to want to be any help.

[caity-catt]

DrabbleWeen - Day Sixteen: Enchanted

Eighth-year Hermione proposed an Enchanted Garden prom idea she learned from muggles. “We could plan it with muggleborns and halfbloods pairing off with purebloods, build unity.”

Before McGonagall could respond, Ginny sent a bat-boogey hex. “Oi, that means you can attend with Ron, but I can’t with Luna. Not fair.”

Harry cut in before any more curses could fly. “I think it’s a good idea to have us work together, but we should be able to attend with whoever we want. Right, Draco?”

The blonde’s head snapped up, face going white then red as he cleared his throat repeatedly, “Y-yes.”

(I’m behind by a few days; my bad. There’s been a lot going on at school this week, so I’ll be catching up over the weekend. I hope, lol)

[professordrarry]

OOH! Or uring 8th year for international house unity they fill out stupid questionnaires & Harry learns Draco loves cats. Harry's secretly crushing & Draco is dreading Xmas cuz he can't go home. So Harry gets him the best cat in the world (your own HC as to what) & gives it to him anonymously. He then sits watching Draco play with it by the Black Lake, reading with it on his chest, & feeding it off his own fork, taking turns eating. Eventually they get together but he pines for a while ❤️

Sorry, this has been sitting in my ask box for so long. I wasn’t ready to write it yet? It got really long. Here’s part one. Part two ASAP.  A quick note about this fic: my school ACTUALLY did this. In grade 10 , you could pay a dollar, fill in the Match-O-Matic survey and find your SOUL MATE (within our 1200 person student body, guaranteed). I found mine about a year ago in a box at my parent’s house. My top two matches? The only openly gay boy in my year, and my ex-boyfriend, who’d broken up with me the day before Christmas. LOVE-O-MATIC!  😂

Professor Moneyworth’s Love-O-Matic Matches

All the love, none of the hassle of first dates. Your matches have arrived!

It had all started as a not-very-funny joke. The pamphlets had all arrived on the same day, flooding down at breakfast from the morning owls like brightly coloured confetti. They’d made everyone laugh at the absurdity of the message. Yet, like some sort of creeping infectious trend, the survey’s slowly crept in. There was no telling who had started it, who sent the survey back first, but once it had started it was hard to stop. Soon, the Professor’s promised pairings became an unstoppable fad. It made sense when you thought about it. No one really believed that love could be as simple as a survey, but it was also true that no one wanted to be the only person who didn’t get matched.

Results were a closely guarded secret, squirrelled away at the bottom of locked chests or smuggled out of breakfast in secret pockets. Shoved beneath charmed pillows so that no one would ask questions. It was possible the secrets would start getting to everyone eventually, but for now, the attitude in the close-knit halls was simply extra jovial, maybe a little flirtier than normal. For now, it brings a little lightness to the eighth year dorms, the type that had been missing for the first two months of school.

November had always been cold and grey, but the darkness seemed to permeate every nook of the grounds earlier than normal this year, and Harry was morose—though even he had to admit it was getting a little old.

He held the large, pink envelope in both his hands as he stared at the rough surface of the lake. He’d been hoping that filling it out, getting his own love matches would be humorous enough to filter out his sadness, his fear. It hadn’t worked so far. Mostly because he already knew what he wanted.

No. Scratch that. He knew who he wanted.

He just didn’t know how to mesh that information with who he was, what his responsibilities to the New World Order were. He didn’t know how to match himself to that; how did he explain to other people that he was fixated on a former master of the death at Hogwarts. How did he explain this to Hermione? He’d plotted out many starts to the conversation in his mind. He never got much past the first sentence.

Hey, Hermione, have you ever noticed that Draco’s got really nice forearms? Because when I was rebuilding the east wall the other day, I noticed, and now I keep dreaming about— Hermione, I know that you’ll understand this, what with Ron working back in London and you all the way up here, and since I’ve been so lonely I’ve started talking to—

I told you last summer that I was gay and you were so cool about that that I figured I could let you know that I’m hopelessly attracted to a Death Eater and—

Hermione, I’d really like it if Draco Malfoy would fuck me into a wall and then buy me dinner. Cool?

He shook his head at his own imaginings and chastised himself for being a giant, dramatic bitch. He tore open the envelope and let his eyes wander the pink, frilly page it contained.

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