#interests: making bird puns nobody else cares about

[lilacbreastedroller]

@pianowaterfall yes! the least bittern lives in north america so my url is a play on that bc i’m big and bitter

[jellyfishdooter]

Okay so, back when I asked for asks for my Ego DnD AU, @lace-maze sent a really good ask a while back asking about why each of the egos chose the characters they did and their playing styles- and I can’t for the LIFE of me find the original anywhere on my blog. ;3;

But! I finished it and I bet it reads horribly but whatever who cares I’m tired- enjoy!

So to FINALLY answer your question, the way I went about choosing what each of the egos would play more or less boiled down to a combo of trying to pick what I think THEY would want to play, and what I figured they would be in the Dungeons and Dragons universe. (wink wonk)

Marvin- Dragonborn Sorcerer

One of the top veterans of the game, he likes to play something with more of a challenge and a lot more mechanics. And since he’s a magician it’s definitely has to deal with magic of some kind (I mean c’mon, he’s already got the aesthetic wardrobe irl for it so why not?). So he’s currently playing a Sorcerer- a magic caster who has the power naturally within him (which ties in his Race for it’s from his draconic bloodline:)

He could have easily chosen his race to be a Tabaxi (a human-cat like hybrid), but he already got enough shit of being the “furry” of the group as it was so instead he decided to go for a Dragonborn. In the game there are different types of Dragonborn, so specifically he’s Brass- which both deals fire damage breath, and is also resistant to fire.

Being one of the older players, his play style depends on the day. For the most part he is the cool, collected member of the party who doesn’t rush in and thinks things through... Until it’s later in the evening with a few drink in ‘em and then they just say, “Yeah, this might as well happen.” Before taking another shot and round-housing someone poor guy’s ass for mocking his scaly features.

Jackie- Half-Orc Fighter

Always wanting to be the hero, Jackie wants to fight and protect his fellow party members. He only has a few sessions under his belt, but he’s confident in saying that he's comfortable with playing more tanky characters and dealing heavy damage.

Jackie doesn’t have a lot of reasoning for his Race other than Orcs Are Cool so he just rolls with that.

As for his Class he likes having a bunch of different fighting styles to choose from while in combat so he can pick and choose which would work best for the situation (they also get more of a range in picking which Armor Class they want-).

His play style is Protect the Party, but also Rush In Head First Into Danger. He’s always in the front lines of a fight to tank the most damage and provide cover for the more squishy characters. It can get quite frustrating for the healer at times when he runs battleaxe-first into battle, leaving his head behind.

Speaking of healers-

Henrik- High Elf Alchemist

A lot like Anti, Henrik found the idea of playing to be quite silly. But once he got into it, the doctor found it quite enjoyable to get into a fantasy character and forget about the real world for a couple of hours. But wanting to retain some kind of dignity, he decided to play as a High Elf. He was drawn to their grace, wonderlust for adventure, and near perfectionism. To say the least, it's easy for him to slip into character.

Strictly speaking, Alchemist is not the the 5E DnD Handbook, but Jack allowed it and made some homebrew additions to the character so their party would actually have a fucking healer. So in addition to the damage-dealing bombs Henrik’s character uses, he also has a special healing bomb he can yeet at the other players when needed.

Henrik’s play style is serious, but curious. He’s always wanting to explore the world Jack created for them and peacefully interact with the NPCs, enjoying events that unfold naturally. However when it’s time for a proper fight he does not beat around the bush, staying in the back for more long-ranged attacks rather than right on the front lines.

Chase- Human Ranger

The recently-single father needed an outlet other than drinking to try and cope with the loss of his family. So like any good friend, Jack offered Chase a spot in his campaign that he was putting together! He wasn’t too sure at first, Chase said that the game seemed really complex and hard to get into. But Jack waves it off and told his friend, “You honestly have to fully jump into it if you’re gonna get anywhere. There’s not really a small way to start. It’s pretty much all or nothing. But trust me, it’s gonna be great!” And ever since his first session, Chase always looked forward to next week’s game.

Being one of the newer players, Chase doesn’t really play anything too crazy, so he sticks to his guns and runs a Human pc. And he may or may not have based the character on his old life to some degree. Giving himself a stable home, a fulfilling job, and a big loving family and at least 3 dogs. Ya’know, real heavy fantasy stuff.

Jack offered him the newer class/ homebrew of a Gunslinger, but he politely declined ‘cause he didn’t want to have to deal with new rules. So he decided to go with a Ranger for his class, figuring it would make for a cool character to play.

Chase’s play style is pretty average (no pun intended), and not all that spectacular. He gets a few good one-liners in here and there, but for the most part he plays passively. Fights when there’s a fight, and interacts almost only when others interact with him directly. (He’s been trying to get better at being more engaging, but he tends to zone out.)

Jameson- Halfling Bard

This session being JJ’s (and Robbie’s) first ever game, JJ pleasantly surprised Jack when he decided to be a Bard. When asked why, the silent man replied simply, “There’s nothing in the rules saying bards HAVE to sing. At the core of them, they are performers.” Jack beams and asks what’s their instrument of choice then? Jameson smiles and shows him this video, saying he thinks it would be interesting to have this as his musical item. (Also gotta love that good The Bard Seduces Everything trope. He’s keeping that in his back pocket for the right moment.)

As for being a Halfling, Jameson figured it would be fun to play a smaller character. And nobody ever suspects the small man to pack such a whaloop. But really, his love for the hobbits in the Tolkin books had captured his heart and really wanted to try and emulate that in the game! Maybe leaning more towards being a little prankster, but still at the core- in short- Soft Cottage Aesthetic™

Jameson’s play style is bouncy and go-gettem. He’s eager to explore the world and have fun with the NPCs. In battles he’s more comedic relief in the back inspiring the other players (and intimidating enemies by aggressively cranking his music box rapidly). And AT LEAST ONCE he has had Jackie’s character YEET his at the enemy to get the final blow to slay the beast. That was a fun session.

Anti- Changeling Rouge 

Do I really gotta explain this one? 

Naturally Anti always tries to play the edgiest characters he can. Giving them dark, moody personalities but with a slight crazed tick. (Chase naturally calls hypocrisy when Anti says his character is a self-insert to the game.)

I’m almost out of steam here so in short-

Anti loves the idea of having puppets to mess around with irl- so in the game he can somewhat do the same- by changing his figure/ features to mimic those of somebody to manipulate another. He doesn’t care much for the society around him and does his own thing, but can easily blend in and slip into other’s traditions if he needs to. His character has a tendency to pick fights pretending to be someone else before ducking out and watch the fight take place with a smirk on his hidden features. None of the party has ever seen his real face/ form, always changing it subtly so every time someone tries to take a second look something seems different or off.

Rouge: Quick and Stabby. Like the bitch himself.

Robbie- Undead Druid

Jack had to make a special homebrew character for Robbie ‘cause he was set on being an Undead. Apparently Robbie and Marvin talked about character ideas before hand and Robbie got a little overwhelmed with all the options that they had, so Marv suggested something Rob could relate to easier. So after an afternoon of crafting a special stat sheet, Jack allowed their favorite zombie ego to play.. Well, a zombie. (I’m sure someone else has made something similar out there but I might try and make a sheet later.. That could be fun lmao)

As for Druid, I like to see Robbie as being a little more connected to nature than the rest of the egos. Since he.. Yaknow, crawled out of the dirt at one point. (Side story- before the others found him in an old cemetery, he liked to just hang out around the area that was slowly being reclaimed by nature and liked watched the birds and animals). So he was pretty drawn to choosing this class. It’s a little complicated at points, but that’s why Marvin sits between him and JJ, so he can help them out through the whole process. Robbie gets really excited when one of his spells works in combat or just having fun interacting with the NPCs by growing them some flowers to be nice. 

As a whole Robbie’s play style is pretty passive. He gets distracted pretty easily and unless Jack is waving his arms around or using miniatures/ figurines to keep a visual, the zombie will sometimes lose focus and stare off into space for a minute before coming back to the game and raising his hand for something to be repeated.

It’s one big mixing pot of different people and play styles, but at the end of the day, Jack has a lot of fun trying to bounce around and keep up with everyone’s antics and storylines. It’s hard as hell at times and it gets a little frustrating when things get out of hand, but they all try to check each other and keep things rolling. And at the end of the day, all the boys enjoy the game and what Jack has to offer and really fucking enjoy themselves. DnD is a good destresser for most of them and all around a grand fun time!

[elyvorg]

Its the ficwriting corner of the celeste fandom, there are like 3 of us and i just made one of the others post the woman with calculus meme over the fact that celeste mountain is on an island

…wait, it is on an island, but it’s also in Canada. Does Canada have islands that are just a mountain and nothing else? And even if it does, how did Madeline drive there? Huhhhh.

(Hello, multiple asks in fairly short succession! I’m pretty sure now that this is all the same anon, heh. Gonna put them all in the same post to avoid clogging things up.)

Anonymous said:

personally my headcanon is that either a, the Bird is the Avatar of the Mountain, or b, there are two Birds and one is Part of Granny and one is the Avatar of the Mountain and the Granny one was just like, im gonna permanently cosplay the Avatar of the Mountain, and Granny was just like okay that works! (stopping time and giving other people superpowers seems a little overpowered for a Shadow but perfectly within the skillset of the avian avatar of an eldritch mountain god)

Huh, I never considered the angle of it being an avatar of the Mountain, but that makes a lot of sense. Madeline does only gain the ability to dash once the bird tells her how to. I always kind of assumed that the dash ability was just something that automatically happens to everyone once they get close enough to the Mountain and that point in the prologue was when she was close enough to activate the power, but it could have been the bird giving it to her, hm. (Though trying too hard to work the platforming mechanics into the story makes things pretty awkward. Is Madeline actually experiencing dying and respawning all those times? And if she is, then that means she’s going through a tough challenge, sure, but it also means that she’s in literally no danger because she cannot possibly die here.)

If the bird really is solely the avatar of the Mountain and not Granny’s Shadow at all, then that means that Granny just up and befriended the Mountain itself, which… yes, I can definitely see her doing that without a care in the world.

Anonymous said:

i like how ch9 revealed that maddy is trans, incidentally turning all the transitional cutscenes in the Summit into terrible visual puns (the sunrise colours used are specifically the trans flag colours)

It is really cool that they put in a couple of details suggesting Madeline is most likely trans!  (hello I’ve been kind of wanting an excuse to talk about this so I hope you don’t mind if I use this as one)

I say “most likely” because it still isn’t completely confirmed, unless the creators have made some kind of official statement on it that I’m unaware of. People have been saying Madeline is canonically trans, which is teeeeechnically not true, although I do understand the desire to jump on this and phrase it that way when there’s practically no canon trans characters anywhere in anything remotely mainstream. Outright confirmation in canon would be some kind of direct mention of it in the dialogue, but as it is, the details in her room still have some vague deniability to them. Although her being trans is definitely the more likely explanation for these details, it is possible Madeline just supports gay and trans people because everyone should and wants to show her support despite not necessarily being either, and it’s possible she just happened to have short hair when she was little even if she didn’t think she was a boy back then. (Honestly the photo clinches it for me more than the flag does because at that kind of age she probably wasn’t deciding her own hairstyle and her mom was probably just cutting her hair based on the gender she thought her child was.)

But it is still super, super cool that those details are there and very strongly indicating that she probably is trans even if the writers didn’t want to explicitly confirm it in the story (because after all that’s not really what the story is about anyway). With this, the creators have made it clear that they’re very happy with the idea of Madeline being trans and have given fans a solid reason to see her that way, which is a lot more than most characters ever get. Anyone can say she’s trans now and nobody is going to be able to turn around and argue “but there isn’t any reason to think that”, because yo there sure is. Not that headcanoning a character as anything is ever wrong even if there’s no evidence for it, that’s the point of headcanons, but it’s much nicer and more fun to be able to do that when there is evidence and it feels more likely to really be the “truth” about this character.

My own personal opinion on whether Madeline is trans is basically an “ehh, yeah, probably I guess?” but not quite coming fully down on one side, because in my personal view on the story, being most interested in Madeline in terms of her mental health issues and her Shadow and her emotional journey, this isn’t that relevant to it and so I’m not as invested in this part of her. (I totally understand why trans people would be very invested and excited about this and happy to be able to see that aspect of themselves in her, though!) Assuming Madeline is trans, it doesn’t seem to be too strongly connected to her issues, because if she wasn’t completely confident in her identity as a woman then her Shadow would probably have mentioned things that could be read as having to do with that, and people would have been able to theorise that she was trans way before chapter 9 all but said so. So I can only assume that Madeline must have figured it out when she was quite young and has been fully transitioned for a while. It certainly seems that her mom is completely supportive with it, calling her Madeline and very clearly loving her daughter for who she is, which probably helps Madeline a lot on that front. It could still be slightly connected to some things in her issues, though - I mentioned in my original big Celeste post that it seems Madeline has some level of trust issues, although the details are kept vague, so that could potentially have to do with people having found out that she’s trans and being really shitty about it.

(I do like to think, if Madeline is trans, that at some point over the apparently years she’s been friends with Theo by now, she’d have come to trust him enough to tell him about it. You know he’d be totally cool with it.)

Anonymous said:

if given the opportunity PoM would totally make wavedash dot powerpoint esque powerpoint presentations for maddy but on topics like “we might have a crush” or “cats: should we pet them more” or “maddy you forgot to take your meds today” or “should we buy milk” and madeline would find them absolutely hilarious

Bwahaha. That would be glorious. Maybe we can pretend Madeline sometimes has dreams like that after chapter 9. (I’m pretty sure there’s a thing in Jungian psychology about how your Shadow can influence your dreams, which explains why Madeline was able to talk to her in chapter 9 despite not being on the Mountain, even if the wavedashing powerpoint was clearly her and not her Shadow that time.)

[killian-whump]

OUAT 3x01: Rewatch Blog

Welcome aboard, mateys! It's time to start rewatching Season 3! As usual, I'm a bit behind everyone else on this rewatch, but I've decided it's more fun for me to move at my own pace, so I probably won't be catching up anytime soon ;)

That said... Let's get started on Once Upon a Time Season 3!!!

Whoa. Wait a minute. Eleven Years Ago?! I really AM behind... ;)

Seriously, though. Do they really have to handcuff her ankle to the bed? Do they have a problem with women in labor jumping up and escaping prison right at that precise moment in their lives?

That's sad, though :(

Ooooh... I love the deadly stillness after the ship "lands" in Neverland. It's so... eeeeeeeerie. 

Ahhh, and the ominous look on Killian's face.

You can just FEEL the tension in the air.

"Aye. Neverland."

AHHHHHHHH TENSION AND ANGST

Kinda lame title card, haha.

Aw, great. It's this guy. NOBODY MISSED YOU GREG. YOU CAN GO BACK TO WHEREVER YOU WENT DURING THE HIATUS NOW.

SHIT. HE BROUGHT TAMARA, TOO.

I really hate these two, guys. Like, really.

Oh, come on. Don't shove a fucking kid, you asshat. Fucking GREG. You're an insult to your name, and I don't even like your name.

Oooooh, spooky noises. I love the atmosphere they built for this realm.

"Who we work for is not your concern, kid." Well, according to YOU as of about 20 minutes ago in show time, it's not YOUR concern either, dipshit.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THERE'S SAND IN YOUR BATTERY COMPARTMENT, YOU FUCKING MORON. WHO PUT SAND IN YOUR BATTERY COMPARTMENT, HUH? YOU FUCKING IDIOT.

Shut up, shut up. I know it was Peter Pan. LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT.

"It's a good thing you guys don't ask any questions." Hahahaha, bested by an 11-year-old and sand.

...and there he goes, shoving the damn kid again. You're just a colossal jerk, aren't you, Greg?

At least Tamara has the sense to look mildly concerned right here.

"Oh, I know, my hot-headed queen."

I JUST DIED. Forward my mail to my gravesite.

I totally forgot that line ever happened. I love rewatching this show.

"I hope not, or we've wasted our lives." AAAAAAANGST

"Your lives... well... THEY'VE SUCKED" hahaha, Why don’t you tell them what you really think, Emma XD

"We found you." Awww... "And lost Henry! And Neal!" Well, to be fair, it's not like you can expect them to give two shits about Neal. They met him, like, last week. And he's kinda a dick. And his Dad's, like, evil incarnate. But okay.

"Oh, that's a great use of our time: A wardrobe change." One of the best lines ever, really.

I mean, did Rumple really need to do the dramatic cane-spinning exit, though? It makes for good TV, so it's cool and all, but imagine it in real life. Like, just a boat full of people staring at where he once stood, thinking, "JFC That was unnecessarily dramatic."

OH, YEAH, LET'S LIGHT A FUCKING FIRE, GREG. THAT'S A GREAT FUCKING IDEA, GREG. Fucking loser.

Yes, I do plan on doing this until he dies. You have your hobbies; I have mine.

"You making S'Mores?"

HAAAAAAHHAHAHAHA OMG LOOK AT HIS FACE:

Fucking goon. Haha. I named that screencap "assface" when I saved it, because I feel it's fitting for both the character AND the face he's making.

"What if the empty communicator wasn't an accident?"

You mean the one someone OBVIOUSLY filled with sand instead of batteries ON PURPOSE??? Noooooooooooo.

"Don't let the kid get in your head." He's not even TRYING, Greg. He's just hungry and wants some fucking S'Mores. I want some S'Mores, too. We all want fucking S'Mores. S'Mores are delicious, FuckingGreg.

OH LOOK, IT'S FELIX.

AND ALL THE REST OF THE LOST BOYS ONES BOYS. I think we’re calling them “Boys” now. Must have gotten the rights.

Kill him, Felix. Somebody. Anybody. I'll even settle for the annoying Lost Boy with the face that annoys me, although I don't think he's in this season, but he's welcome to join it IF HE KILLS GREG.

"Then you're not getting the boy." Oh, Greg. It is entirely too late for you to do anything remotely likable now. Like, I literally want to throw Henry at them now just to spite you.

YEEEEESSSSSSSSSS RIP THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S SOUL OUT OF HIS BODY. TAKE HIS SPINE, TOO. THE ENTIRE SKELETAL SYSTEM. MAYBE A DISEMBOWELING'S CALLED FOR HERE?

Or, you know, you can just leave his husk there by the fire to rot away. That's good, too. I'm not picky.

GREG IS DEAD, EVERYBODY.

Tamara and Henry are running! Oh no! Will they make it? Will they-

This is a great scene, everybody. Thank you so much. This is the best thing to ever happen to me and the season only started 10 minutes ago.

Hahaha, they even show us a close-up of Tamara lying motionless on the ground, and then Greg. Like they KNOW we've all been waiting for their demise and they wanted to give us screenshots for our scrapbooks.

Anyway, thanks Felix! That was pretty cool. Much obliged.

Hey, look. An enterprising young chap has helped Henry up. There's no way he could be a bad guy.

I have to say, of all the "twists" in Once, this was one of the worst ones in terms of how OBVIOUS it was.

To some extent, it's the casting department's fault, because Robbie Kay is just TOO fucking perfect for Peter Pan. Like, he just EXUDES Peter Pan and he's not fooling anybody.

Heeheehee CS flirting <3

"What do you want?" All due respect, but it's HIS fucking ship? Like, he doesn't really need a reason to be below deck on his own ship?

"I didn't realize you were sentimental." "I'm not."

I love it when he spits the cork out, but how many corks does this man go through?!

Oh, look. Speak of the devil - It's Neal.

"Tell Emma I'm alive. And I love her."

Well, that's a GREAT message to pass on through your kiiiiiid. Won't get his hopes up or anything.

ANYWAY.

"Long enough to know I miss him, too." T_T

UH OH. TROUBLE'S AFOOT!!!

Oh, Dave and Snow are at the helm. That explains it. LEARN HOW TO DRIVE, SNOWING. Gosh.

Pun intended. I'm so sorry.

Regina: "What the hell are you two doing?!" Ahahahahaha :D

"Prepare for attack!" "Be more specific!" I love all these interactions. This is like the WORST family vacation EVER and I love every second of it.

"What's out there? A shark? A whale?" "A kraken?"

YOU FUCKING WISH.

Actually, no, Dave probably doesn't wish... but Kraken-san does! :D

Emma's response is classic. "Mermaids?!" Like what the fuck else does she have to put up with in this crazy sham of a life NOOOOW?

Dave's kinda hot manning that cannon, I gotta say. He's showing off some guns firing off that gun, if you know what I mean.

But really, what did they plan to DO with one mermaid, anyway? Especially after Regina chased them all off with her fireballs?

Oh, look. Henry and Totally-Not-Peter-Pan are on the run!

I'm super fooled by him talking himself up in third person, though XD

"If Pan wants you... he WILL get you."

"Pan will rip their shadows into oblivion."

"Pan loves nachos with spicy cheese."

"Pan is the awesomest guy on this island."

Aw, man. This scene is a snoozefest :/

Literally. They're all just watching Aurora sleep XD

Wait. HOW is Neal feeling better? He got shot, like, 10 minutes ago in show time and he's had no REAL medical care, aside from whatever they bandaged him with, since none of these folks here have magic.

HOW IS HE FEELING BETTER?!

I gotta be honest, though. Rumple is hot as SHIT in this season. I ain't gonna pretend otherwise. This leather clad badass thing WORKS for him.

Oh, look. Tamara's still alive.

"C-Can you forgive me?"

I'm gonna guess that is a HARD ASS NO, bitch.

Haha, love the way he flicks the dust off his fingers.

"GET THAT THING OFF MY SHIP!"

I love how panicked he is by the mermaid XD It gives my entire life meaning :D

I wish we had more information in canon about Hook's time in Neverland. We can tell this is FAR from his first skirmish with mermaids, but how/when/why/what happened? I NEED TO KNOW! Especially if it involved wounds or peril or other things relevant to my interests...

Touching Mulan and Neal chat.

More running in the woods with Not!Pan.

"Well, I'm all out of fish food." Love you, Regina <3

"Fillet the bitch." Seriously, love you so much bae <3

Snow's face, tho XD

This is 110% why I watch this show. SHENANIGANS.

...and a pirate. Don't forget the pirate.

"I've outrun many a storm!" We know you have, babe. We know. You keep telling us...

SHAMPOO COMMERCIAL TIME!!!

PERIL ON THE HIGH SEAS!!!

CERTAIN BLETH DEATH!!!

SUPER DRAMATIC MUSIC!!!

...as we cut to a peaceful, though somewhat dilapidated, castle in the Enchanted Forest. Birds are singing, dawn is breaking, the world is alight with hope and possibili-

JUST KIDDING. GET BACK TO THE FUCKING DRAMA STORM, SHOW.

I hate it when they do this.

Hey, Sean. Nice intro.

"You don't want to see ID?" Neal... ISTFG.

Disappearing arrow, heehee. SHENANIGANS.

I love how interested Robin is in what's inside the vault XD Always a thief, eh?

"This isn't a storm. It's bloody damnation!" Love that line <3

"Let the slags go!" Haha "Don't call my wife a slag!" Haha!

BOY FIGHT!! BOY FIGHT!!!

They're all wet, too! Slow down, cameraman! I wanna see ALL of this!!!

Oooh, almost gutted with his own hook. Haaaaarsh.

Emma, no one's listening to you. Emma, no one's... They're not... They're not even looking or paying any attention at all... They won't even- Oh. Okay. Somehow everyone saw you jump, despite literally being in a fight for their respective lives. Neat.

...aaaaaaand cue the convenient rigging falling loose and hitting her in the head.

SHENANIGAAAAAAAAANS

Oh, look! They're flying!!!

This would be super touching if it wasn't, you know, exactly what Pan wants XD

Haha, Emma looks so ethereal floating there, unconscious, in the waters of Neverland, facing certain death.

Awww! A big group effort rescue!!! Good job, team!

"Told you." Right, but no one was listening...? So how do they even know what she's talking about? Well, I guess maybe they WERE listening...?

Shenanigans? idek anymore...

SHENANIGANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awww... Bobby's acting is so great right here. This is awesome. Very moving. The part after the shenanigans, I mean. Although they’re great, too.

Felix, you're kinda a dick, though. That’s kinda a compliment, tho?

I love it when magic flops :D Dramatic music aaaaaand... nothing.

"Actually, I quite fancy you from time to time, when you're not yelling at me."

You like her even more when she's yelling at you, son. IT IS KNOWN.

His offended face when Charming says, "With him?" XD DAVE, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS ABOUT ME. DAVE, I THOUGHT WE WERE PALS. DAVE. DAAAAVE.

Hahaha, his adorable shrug to Regina. SHENANIGANS <3

"You couldn't be more right, Henry."

I'm so glad they didn't try to drag out the reveal of Pan to another episode, because he seriously wasn't fooling aaaaaanybody.

Except for Henry. Oops?

It's so great how ominous they're being at the end of this episode, advancing on Henry like that...

Although Pan's "let's play!" is a lot less frightening when you know he literally means "let's dance around a fire and create a rhythmic ruckus" but hey. It still works for the ending of this episode, which is now... OVER!!

PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!! PEW PEW PEW!!!

[waveridden]

FIC: in the middle

But the fourth mystery that bothers Aava, for reasons that she can’t put her finger on, is that she can’t figure out if Hot Mailman is a cat person or a dog person. (Aava/Leenik/Tryst animal shelter AU, 1.7k)

AUcember || read on ao3 || title lyric

#

From: Leenik hot mailman is back

To: Leenik Again?

From: Leenik was he here already today???

To: Leenik yeah he was here this morning to look at kittens

From: Leenik oh

From: Leenik well he’s playing with puppies now

From: Leenik also i don’t think he has any actual mail with him

To: Leenik Does he ever have actual mail with him?

From: Leenik i mean

From: Leenik eventually he has to bring us mail right??

To: Leenik Maybe.

To: Leenik Take lots of pictures of him with puppies

#

  Hot Mailman - whose real name is Trystan, which Aava knows because Leenik asked - is kind of a mystery. First off, there’s the fact that he’s hot, which is its own weird mystery. He’s not Aava’s type, and Aava didn’t even realize that Leenik had a type, but the first time Hot Mailman walked into the shelter both of them had been a little dumbstruck.

(“It’s not weird to flirt with the mailman, right?” Leenik asked pensively, not two seconds after the door swung shut. “Like, it’d be weird if I flirted with you, but it’s not weird if it’s him, because he’s not really a coworker. So that’s not weird, right?”

“Right,” Aava agreed. “And it’s not weird if both of us flirt with him, either.”

Leenik made a face. “You and I don’t flirt the same.”

“Your idea of flirting is how most people make friends.”

“And it works for me! Sometimes.”

“Mmmmhm,” Aava said, and Leenik rolled his eyes like she knew he would, and Aava grinned.)

Second of all, there’s the fact that he comes in constantly without mail. Aava and Leenik are the shelter’s only two full-time employees, and the rest of it is volunteer-run, so at least one of them is always in the office, and they sign for a lot of packages. Which isn’t unusual, but then Hot Mailman started dropping by without packages. Just to say hi. And, occasionally, to play with their adoptable animals.

(After his third visit, Aava mentioned offhand that she always preferred the cats, that she had a couple at home. Trystan had nodded as he absorbed this, and then said abruptly, “What about the other guy? The one who coordinates all the volunteers?”

“Leenik? He’s a dog guy, through and through.”

“I would’ve guessed,” Trystan admitted, and Aava tilted her head at him, and decided not to ask why he was trying to guess anything about Leenik.)

The third mystery - and this is Leenik’s addition to the list, because it’s something that Aava is totally willing to accept at face value - is that he flirts with both of them. Without abandon. It’s something that Leenik despairs over, because he doesn’t know what it means. Aava, well, she’s a simple woman, and she likes guys like Trystan. He’s sweet, and he’s sweet to Leenik, and that last one goes a long way.

But the fourth mystery, the one that bothers Aava for reasons that she can’t put her finger on, is that she can’t figure out if Hot Mailman is a cat person or a dog person. It’s not like it keeps her up at night, but most people have a pretty strong preference one way or the other. But not him.

  #

  “You all ever get any lizards in?” Tryst asks abruptly, about a month into his thrice-daily visits.

Aava and Leenik exchange a Look. People ask about weird animals all the time - Aava’s go-to story at parties is the story of the woman who was furious that the shelter didn’t have racehorses - but this is either a weird long con or a genuine question.

“Not normally,” Aava says at last. “Mostly people bring in furry things.”

“Or birds,” Leenik adds, which is also true. “A lot of people mix us up with animal control.”

Aava sighs. “We don’t even have a van.”

“Yet,” Leenik says, with a lot more confidence than Aava feels. She glances up at him, from where he’s sitting on the front desk counter, and he shrugs. “Never say never.”

Tryst looks between the two of them, looking amused. “So that’s a no on the lizards?”

“It’s a not yet.” Leenik cocks his head. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for a lizard person.”

“Not me,” Tryst says. This is an actual package-delivery visit, and there’s a package sitting on the counter of the front desk, but nobody’s signing for it and he’s not really asking. He drums his fingers on it. “My, uh - well, the relations are complicated, but we’re just gonna call him my nephew. He’s going through this lizard phase, which I don’t remember going through as a kid, but maybe it’s just the prequel to a dinosaur phase.”

Aava shrugs and wheels her chair out from behind the computer to get a better look at him. “Kids are weird. I had a colonial America phase. Mostly the witch trials.”

“I had a pit bull phase,” Leenik offers.

Aava shoots him a look. “You own a pit bull.”

“I am still in a pit bull phase.”

Tryst chuckles. Aava gives him the most careful, most scrutinizing look that she can. He doesn’t look like he’s laughing at them, per se. Mostly like… well, like he’s actually enjoying being around them. “I had a pirate phase,” he says. “Drove my sisters up a wall, mostly because I used to go digging through their bedrooms for treasure.”

A laugh bursts out of Aava, so sharp and unexpected that she claps both hands over her mouth. Tryst and Leenik both give her looks of amazement, because odds are neither of them have heard her make that sound before. But goddammit, that’s charming. That’s a cute family anecdote, and Aava wants to hear more of his cute family anecdotes, what the fuck.

Leenik recovers first, turning back to Tryst. “I got really into NASA for a little while. My brother bought me all these T-shirts and action figures and stuff.”

It’s all Aava can do not to let her jaw drop. It’d taken Leenik the better part of a year to tell her about his brother. He’s come a long way, and she knows that, but it’s something else entirely to see him casually talking about his brother.

Tryst, who has no goddamn clue that Leenik has just shared his equivalent of a wealth of personal information, nods casually. “I think my sisters mostly just wanted me to stop. But one of them bought me this book about secret agents, and about postmen carrying secret codes. And now-” he shrugs. “I’m technically a government employee.”

“Mazel tov,” Aava says as coolly as she can manage. It’s nowhere near her normal level of cool, which Tryst doesn’t notice and Leenik definitely does. “You’re the best delivery guy we’ve had.”

“Nicer than the other ones,” Leenik says, which is a lot more to-the-point than he normally gets. Aava is absurdly proud of him.

Tryst grins. It’s the kind of debonair, suave grin that Aava would normally roll her eyes at, but she actually ends up smiling back, god, what’s happening to her? “I’m technically not supposed to say this, but you guys are my favorite customers.” He pauses. “Clients? Customers? People I see?”

“People,” Leenik suggests. “Just people.”

Tryst’s grin goes soft around the edges. “You’re on the list,” he says, and before Aava can think about what that means, he holds out his digital signature pad. “I’ve gotta hit the road, but if you could-”

“Of course.” Aava reaches up to take it and sign. “It was good seeing you again, Trystan.”

“Come back soon,” Leenik adds, absurdly. Tryst turns and gives him a look - mostly out of Aava’s line of sight, but she can see an arched eyebrow - and Leenik flushes slightly.

Tryst just shrugs and looks at them both one last time. “I will,” he says, surprisingly sincere, and he’s out the door before either of them can interact.

Aava drums her fingers on the table. “What’re you thinking, Nikki?”

“He’s definitely hitting on you,” Leenik says resolutely. “Definitely you.”

“I think he’s hitting on both of us, actually.”

There’s a pause as Leenik considers this before saying, aghast, “Why?”

“Boy knows where his bread is buttered?”

If anything, Leenik looks more aghast at that. “You buttered his bread already?”

“What? No, I don’t even have his phone number.”

“You don’t even have his phone number?”

“What, you do?”

“Of course I do!”

“You haven’t mentioned that at all,” Aava says slowly.

Leenik shrugs. “He visits while you’re here more often,” he says, not quite sullenly but pretty close. “And I wanted to talk to him too.”

Aava nods slowly, absorbing this. Trystan does tend to visit Aava more in person, although it’s hard to say how much of that is because of their schedules lining up. He seems to like talking to both of them, though. He visits them both, after all.

“This is weird, right?” Leenik leans down, putting his hand near Aava’s, and she absently rests hers on top of it. “Like, he’s- what’s he doing?”

“I think he’s just hitting on the people he likes.”

“People?”

Aava shrugs. “Stranger things have happened.”

“Aava,” Leenik says, “you’re my best friend, and I think it’s only fair to say that I don’t really want to have sex with you. Just so you know.”

“Leenik.” Aava squeezes his hand. “Honey, you’re my best friend, and I think it’s only fair to remind you that you have told me that, more than once.”

He shrugs. “It feels like it might actually be relevant this time, though.”

Aava pauses and thinks about him, and Tryst, and the way Tryst looks at them both. “We’ll cross that bridge when we get there,” she says at last, and Leenik looks a little bit relieved.

  #

  From: Leenik To: Aava, 661-283-9301 okay now that we’re all gathered here together i have a question for tryst

Tryst named the conversation: i’ll think of a pun about animal shelters later

From: Tryst shoot

From: Aava Why is this conversation happening over text, he was in here ten minutes ago

From: Leenik would you consider yourself a cat person or a dog person

From: Tryst do I have to pick

From: Tryst I’ve always liked both

From: Leenik interesting

From: Tryst that’s ominous

From: Aava No, it’s a good thing

From: Leenik a very good thing

[spacebrick3]

(Part 1, apparently, since writing a six-person game generates a fair bit of dialogue)

“Tonight is game night!” Kjiersten shouted, walking into the common room with a box under their arm.

“It’s what now?” Crowe asked from where he sat, typing something out on his tablet. “Game night? No,” he said, shaking his head, “I am not doing a game night. It’s stupid.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” They put down the box and opened it up, putting the instructions carefully off to the side and removing the board. “You should join us, though. It would be fun, and it’d be nice to play with six people instead of five.”

He hesitated. “But it’s Monopoly,” he said at last. “Nobody likes Monopoly. Even the designer of Monopoly didn’t like Monopoly.”

Silicon stuck her - the blue badge on her collar was lit up, so it was her right now - head out from the door.  “I like Monopoly. Are we playing Monopoly right now? Come on Crowe, you should play with us. Unless you’re scared that you’re going to lose, that is. Are you - is that it? Is that why you don’t want to play?” She vanished back into the room for a second, muffled shout coming through the door. “Hey! Emil! We’re playing Monopoly! Come on!”

“Fine. I’ll play,” he said. “But I want the battleship.”

“The battleship is mine!” Emil shouted, bursting through the door. Silicon followed, rolling her eyes. She sat down next to the board and picked up the dog token, turning it over in her hands before placing it on the starting position.

“What’s all this shouting?” Anise asked as she walked in. “Why’re you guys fighting? Can I join, or is it like something that’s personal between you two?” She picked up a token from the board and dropped it onto the starting position. “Deal me in.”

“If you’d just let me have the damn ship-“ Emil started.

“Like hell I’m giving you the ship!” Crowe shouted. “I got here first!”

Silicon sighed heavily, giving Anise a Look(tm). “Emil, give him the stupid ship and come sit with me. I got you the top hat, look.” She picked the token up and put it on top of her head, where it very slowly began to slide off. “Top hat.”

“How will I ever survive without the ship, though?” he asked cheerfully, tossing the ship over his shoulder (Crowe had to lunge to catch it), and grabbing the top hat just as it slid off of her head. “Don’t you know that if you have the ship, you’re guaranteed to win?”

“Unless you’re named after a bird, of course,” she added, swiping the token and throwing it onto the board. “Then you automatically lose.”

Kjiersten cleared their throat. They had managed to set up the rest of the board, doling out the money into six piles and setting out the cards. “If you’re quite finished. Before we start, do any of you know where I could find Sadie? I’d like to invite her to play as well, but-“

“She’s, um, sitting right behind you,” Emil said, pointing. They turned and saw that Sadie had managed to slip into the common room without them noticing, and was now sitting cross-legged on the floor. She was staring intently at the instructions, and a small silver token rested next to her.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you come in,” they said, turning to her. “Do you want to play Monopoly with us?” She nodded, not looking up from the paper. “Do you…know how to play Monopoly?”

She nodded again. “Now.”

“Alright then. Everybody else knows how to play, I think-?” They left the question hanging and were met with four nods from the rest of the group, who were organizing their initial stuff and seemed to busy to talk. “Good. I guess we can get started.”

——————————————————————————————————

-Turn 1- 

“Roll,” Sadie said, addressing the computer, and holographic dice tumbled in midair.

While she moved, Anise leaned back against the wall. She looked bored. “This’s taking too long. Can we play the VFM version?”

“What’s that?” asked Kjiersten. “It sounds interesting.”

“It makes the game a lot quicker,” she said. “Because you can only use money for everything - if you can’t pay with what you have right now, then you go bankrupt. Basically, you can’t sell anything you’ve bought, although the name No Sell for this version didn’t sit too well with marketers.”

Sadie handed Kjiersten a bill, who took it without comment and passed her back the title deed. She placed it carefully next to the board, aligning it with her small stack of money, then passed the dice controller to Emil. “So are we playing that way?” he asked, making the gesture to roll the dice. “Not that I have anything to sell on the first turn, of course, but are we?”

“Yeah, sure,” Silicon added from where she was very slowly beginning to fall into Emil’s lap. He was pretending not to notice and failing miserably.

“I don’t mind,” said Crowe. 

“I suggested it. Yeah, course I think we should do it.”

Kjiersten nodded. “Alright, Sadie, do you care?” She shook her head, but didn’t say anything. Not that that was unusual. “It looks like we’re playing that way, then. You bought it…you bought it, I suppose.”

“Was that really Oriental Avenue you wanted, huh?” Silicon asked, sitting up and leaning forwards to peer intently at Sadie. “Because…now…you can’t sell it back…” She hesitated, then shrugged, settling back onto Emil. “That was not a well-thought-out sentence, ignore me and get on with your lives.”

“It’s your turn, Syl,” he said, passing her the controller. “And I could never ignore you.”

“Oh, right, it is my turn,” she said, tossing the dice and waiting as the small simulation ran the numbers. “Did you buy anything? Are you the proud baron of whatever avenue was unfortunate enough to have you land on it?”

“Ha ha. Like you’re any more qualified to run, uh, Reading Railroad. Do you even know how a railroad works?”

“Of course I do. It’s like a subway, except it’s on top of the ground.” She passed the dice to Crowe. “Plus my railroad is going to be the best there is. It’s going to be one of those old velvet ones, with all the brass fixtures and purple and where there’s a special dining car - you know the ones.”

As Crowe traded them a bill for the last of the sky blue cards, Kjiersten raised a finger. “That’s actually an interesting point. Even here on the Foundation, there was still trains, because people still needed to get places over the ground. But now that instantaneous transportation between any two points exists, will there still be trains? Ships? Anything besides wormholes?”

“Well, the wormholes right now are ‘bout six feet in diameter - so they’re still not good for anything besides people, and not tall ones. And nothin’ on you, Sadie, but there’s a lot more being transported than just people. And…twelve. That puts me right on the electric company. I’ll buy it.”

“That’ll be a…hundred and fifty,” they said. “And I see what you’re saying, but now the technology’s here. And so it’s only going to get bigger, and more improved until all that cargo can be fit through a wormhole. So ships and trains might stick around for a while longer for transportation, eventually they’re going to be replaced.”

“People will still use them, though. Hell, people still use their old cars that they’ve had for a hundred years or whatever.”

They shrugged. “True. But they’re only keeping the luxury cars, not the mass-produced ones. So there still might be ships, but they’re only going to be AES-type ones, mostly. All the big IS ships will probably be scrapped, plus most of the STS. No one will need them.”

“I’m glad we’re having this discussion,” Crowe said, “but can we please get on with the game? I’d like to be able to”

——————————————————————————————————

-Turn 4-

“Roll.”

“You really going to burn through all your money like that, Sadie?” Crowe asked. She had bought a property on each square she’d landed on so far. “Or is it all part of the ‘plan’? Bankrupting us all in twenty turns?”

She ignored him, shuffling the title card and setting it out with the others. “Okay, okay, fine,” he said. “I’m sorry I said anything.”

“And yet you’re ignoring the true threat on this board,” Silicon responded, watching as Emil rolled. “You think you’re going to be the railroad baron, or whatever with your two railroads, but I am catching up. Silicon…Vanderbilt, that’s going to be me. Or Stanford, I suppose. I like Stanford better, because alliteration. Silicon Stanford, that’s me.”

“I assume you’re going to treat your workers a little better than the actual Stanford did?” Emil asked. “And yes, I’d like to buy Marvin Gardens. I don’t know why they named gardens after the most depressive robot in history.”

“I won’t have workers,” Silicon said. “I’ll run everything myself, plus an AI to get the trains running. I’ll call it…um…give me a second while I think of a pun.” Accepting the dice from Emil, she let it roll and pushed the small silver dog token forwards. “I get to pick a card…um…I advance to St. Charles, and take my 200 for passing Go. Hold on, you own St. Charles, don’t you?” she asked, pointing at Kjiersten. “How much is rent?”

They smiled. “You’re just passing through. I won’t make you pay rent.”

“That’s not how you win in Monopoly,” Crowe said. “You gotta…build your empire, like I’m doing here with…Pacific? This is Pacific?.”

“And how’s that working out? I can’t see that you have any two properties of the same color, let alone three,” they said, handing over the title card.

“No one does. It’s early days yet.”

“If you say so.”

“Ah, damn.” Anise was rolling now. “Guess who’s going to jail, bitches? Me. Evidently this square is a speed trap or whatever, and I was runnin’ this wheelbarrow too fast. See ya there.”

“The perils of a lawless economy,” Kjiersten said, rolling their own dice. “Oh. It appears I have landed on your ‘empire’, Crowe. Take my twenty-six dollars as tribute to Baron Leonid.”

“Very funny.”

Silicon sat bolt upright. “Scanford! That’s what the AI will be called! Leslie Scanford!”

Part 2 will come out on Friday, probably!

If you want to see the numbers for the whole game played out, there’s a spreadsheet here.

Since I don’t know much about who wants to be tagged (i only got one response on my ask post :/), I’ll just use my other tag list and then if you want to be added or removed, just let me know!

@lady-redshield-writes​, @no-url-ideas-tho, @ratracechronicler, @ken-kenwrites, @ravenpuffwriter, @cirianne, @lonelylibrary @maxbeewriting, @endlesshourglass, @micastarsandmirrors, @thebloodstainedquill, @anip-ocs, @dreamwishing, @incandescent-creativity, @fatal-blow, @danafaithwriting, @wri-tten, @thewitchthetimeladythehuntress

[hibernianbok]

Papa Nordics hcs? Individually, not together!

I’ve been waiting for this

Denmark:

He is child in an adults body. Raising his own children would be a walk in the park! He’s always up for playing pretend or dress up with them and you better believe he will get them a mountain of Lego to play with!

Protect of his child, very. He’s one of those dads that will give his children alot of freedom but as soon as they’re going out with someone he wants to know who they are with and where. No harm shall come to them.

Dad jokes are extremely common, in fact he probably tells his child to call him ‘dadmark’! Every time he makes his child sigh or ugh he laughs and gives them a hair ruffle.

Sometimes it will feel like his child is looking after him, especially when he take them to the toy shop. On many occasions he will be the one buying the toys for his own entertainment. 

Pushes his children to their absolute limits and cheering them on every step of the way. If he knows that his child can do something he will bribe them, cheer them and whatever else to help them achieve their goals!

To annoy his child he does many things. His personal favorite being to tickling their hips till they’re crying with laughter and putting them on his shoulders (Still laughing) and running around the house!

He adores it when his child lets him do their hair, no matter the length or texture. If it’s short he gives them a quiff, if it’s long he’ll give them a danish braid! if it’s mid-way he’ll do plaited pigtails! 

Sometimes when he’s bored and his child is nearby, he’ll make a game out of trying to put his tiny hat on their head without them noticing. If he achieves it he’ll take a picture and posted it on Snap chat.

Trips to the shops to get ingredients is pretty common, he loves to bake with his child! Only the best danish pastries recipes will be taught and anyone who even smells them will being to drool!

When nobody is around or is coming over he will turn the living room into a giant pillow fort! He loves to see the look on his child’s face as they dive into the fort of pillows and blankets he’s made.

Dad rating: Everything is awesome 

Finland:

He is a very caring and fathering man, he is always doing everything he can for his children; the cooking, cleaning, general family bonding, anything to keep them happy!

Strictness wise he is rather flexible. MOST of the time he will brush of misbehavior and give his child a quick scold. Just, don’t make him angry. For the love of everything holy and your safety don’t!

The amount of worrying he does over his children is almost enough to worry about him. He is always on edge when his child is staying at a friends, you better believe he has the friends parents phone number!

You know when your mum/dad/guardian see a friend outside the shop and starts to talk for them for about fifty years? Yeah… he’s that dad. Best bring something to entertain yourself with!

He is very relaxed when it comes to emotional issues, if his children have any problems at all he’ll talk them through it and then give them words of encouragement and enthusiasm!

Also that dad that takes his children to the park and has a flock of mothers surrounding him. All of them are very kind and such, but can he please watch his baby whilst they’re swinging on the monkey bars?

One of the Parent Council dads, he is very involved in his children’s education. Plus he can prove that he’s the best at making cookies! No one can beat Santa’s cookies after all~

Speaking of being Santa, he’s children always get the best presents! But they do have to stay over at uncle Estonia’s house for Christmas eve. Only because he needs to do his job though.

Sauna days with his kids! He loves to just sit back and let the steam engulf him. If the steam is too intense for his child, they can always go for a nice swim in the pool!

He is always giving his children hugs. He will find any excuse to give his kiddo a tight snuggle, good moments and bad! Unless of course they don’t like hugs in which case, hair ruffles are good too! 

Dad rating: Baby in a box (If you don’t get that click: here)

Iceland:

At first, he has no idea what on earth he is doing. For those who are friends/family of Iceland will likely receive 3am phone calls with the topic; ‘What do I do when my child cries?’ 

He is probably that dad that is completely awkward dad that makes jokes at the wrong time, Denmark does that right? Denmark raised him so jokes are a thing that good dads do right? (Send the lad some help please)

Mr.Puffin is the official “HELP ME PARENT PLEASE!” bird, as much as it may annoy the poor puffin it will keep him busy. Family chill time is probably everyone’s favorite time.

Saying all of this, he does try his best. He tries to show his children the wonders of his land and others, as odd as it may seem he knows that the world is very large and he hopes they will see it all!

He enjoys telling them old folktales for bedtime stories! Sometimes he’ll go on for long after his child has fell asleep, so many tales that have been passed on to tell from the people lost in time.

They’re raised to be able to speak more than one language, He can get pretty embarrassed speaking his own language (Source: X (Trivia point!)). He wants his children to be able to wonder the world understand others!

School wise is eeh… He believes that education is the way too success but coming to him with homework or school drama is not the best idea. He either doesn’t know or doesn’t really care.

Discipline wise, he’s got it down to a T, he knows that as soon as the Wifi password is changed and the remotes have been hidden his child is all of a sudden going to be rather nice to him~

To add to the point above, he cannot stand bratty children. From day one he will tell them “You respect me, I respect you” and if they follow that rule then they will be very close!

He can be pretty clingy to his child, he doesn’t like to be surround by people but he’s not a big fan of being all by himself. His child will probably be around him alot to stop him from being too lonely.

Dad rating: How to be a good papa?

Norway:

The chill parent™ literally. He is very tolerant and patient with his children. He will let them do as they please as long as they stay within their boundaries. So long as they do it’s chill™

He will probably put his children on a pedestal like he does Iceland. He’s always going on about how his children are amazing and how cute they look in that outfit he bought them(like Maes from FMA? please tell me if i’m wrong)

To any out lookers, they would say that he’s got a good hand on raising his children. They would be right! Besides the mental screaming and the worrying coffee intake from lack of sleep due to worrying about them, he’s fine! 

Dad jokes are a thing, but in a weird way. His child can say anything and he would pause, stare and murmur a really bad pun under his breath. I.e. ‘Whoa, papa! Look at this!’ ‘……I can’t believe it’s not butter...’ 

He spoils his children more than he is willing to admit, they could see something on TV and he would surprise them with it the next day. He can’t really help it, he doesn’t want them to live like he used to.

Emotional stuff he’s pretty good at! He is able to sit there and listen to any problems his children are facing for hours if he must. He is also willing to hug them and sooth their worries with comforting songs!

Adores telling his children myths and folklore! Sometimes he’ll even take them on drives to the places and introduce them to the creatures that the stories are based around!

Whenever the midnight sun or the Nordic lights are on show he’ll let his children stay up to see them. Joined with the forces of caffeine and warm blankets he’ll sit outside with them all night if they want.

To him, his children are a blessing and something to live for. If he is ever lacking motivation or inspiration he’ll think about his children and BAM! You’ve got one very determined Norwegian.

He takes alot of time off work to spend with his children. He wants to be apart of their lives and for them to always know that he loves them, for him nothing is more important than his family.

Dad rating: Butter hurry up with that homework

Sweden:

This man is a papa and a half! He is already raising two kids (Sealand & Ladonia!) so the man knows what he’s doing. He is always alot more relaxed when with kids and is happy to care for them!

He is very good at keeping his children in line, how exactly? Star charts. He knows that losing a gold star is everyone’s worse nightmare and he will use this to his advantage. Gold stars are given to good kiddos only!

Want a tree house? Because his children are getting a tree mansion! Nearly all of their room’s furniture and toys are made by him, but don’t worry they’re made entirely out of love!

Super protective of his little ones! He would never let any harm come to them whether it be physically, mentally or emotionally. If anyone dares to hurt them he will be knocking on the culprits door at 3am!

Sometimes he’ll take his kids with him for a small fishing trip if the weather is right. Sure camping may be a little boring but it’s the bonding that counts! Plus fishing can be rather relaxing~

He is always willing to participate in games with his little ones, even pretend and sports! If it means that they’re gaining an interest in a possible future career or dream then he will do his best to guide them.

To his children he can seem like a rag doll at certain times, he doesn’t mind them climbing onto his shoulders or letting them borrow his glasses. If it keeps them happy and they’re safe then it’s fine.

Education wise he is the man when his children need help with homework. He will talk them through the problem and give them as much motivation as they need, sometimes in the form of pastries! 

All drawings and school achievements will have a special spot on the fridge for all to see. Any of his little ones achievements will be rewarded with a meal out wherever they want!

His absolute favorite thing in the world is to wake up with his little family all fallen asleep on the sofa with him, he thinks it’s so cute seeing them all snuggled up on top of him with a blanket covering them all~

Dad rating: Swedad

[isempiterna]

REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY. RULES.  Repost, don’t  reblog! tag  10  ! good luck! TAGGED.  @starryeyecl  TAGGING. who of my followers haven’t been tagged yet, I tag u

GOTTA DO BOTH GIRLS CAUSE I LOVE OVERSHARING INFORMATION !!!!

the following information is for the verse YELLOW ROSE. information differs by a little or a lot depending on verse

FULL NAME: Lark Maureen Tempest ∬ Sparrow Grace Weave NICKNAME // ALIAS: HILARIOUS STORY TIME Lark used to introduce herself all the time as “Lark, but you can call me Temmy if you want” and nobody would call her Temmy sdhfdskfslhf  ∬  one of her friends calls her Spar sometimes AGE:  26 ∬ 20 BIRTHDAY:  November 26 (1991) ∬ February 20 (1997) ETHNIC GROUP: European mix (Irish-French, German-Polish-Danish) ∬ European mix ? (Irish-French, British-Indian) NATIONALITY: American LANGUAGE/S: English ∬ English, very limited Spanish SEXUAL ORIENTATION: bisexual ∬ asexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: biromantic ∬ demiromantic RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single CLASS: middle class / lower middle HOMETOWN/AREA: I just stick em places CURRENT HOME: ┐(ツ)┌ PROFESSION: café owner ∬ student

PHYSICAL.

HAIR: white-blonde, practically white ∬ black EYES: copper brown ∬ light blue FACE: heart ∬ peach LIPS: pouty, rather pink ∬ soft, dark cherries COMPLEXION: European, tans easily ∬ fair, smooth BLEMISHES: beauty marks! one at the inner corner of her eye (left), one at the bottom of her mouth (left), two on her cheek (right) ∬ none SCARS: a few here and there TATTOOS: none HEIGHT: 5′2″ ∬ 5′3″ WEIGHT: ~116 lbs ∬ ~106 lbs BUILD: hourglass, strong, compact ∬ pear, slender, toned FEATURES: major resting bitch face, can’t tell if eyes are bored or bedroom, STRONG ARMS ∬ delicate, almost a sense of ethereal beauty? bordering on creepy, hidden strength

ALLERGIES: none USUAL HAIR STYLE: casual ponytail, messy bun, whatever it’s called when you fold your hair up with a big hair clip?? ∬ down, easily hides her face when necessary, ponytail for running USUAL FACE LOOK: resting bitch, politely waiting for...something?, clear gaze ∬ thoughtful, mild to intense interest in whatever she’s looking at  USUAL CLOTHING: comfy, loose  ∬ simple, comfortable, subtly stylish

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR/S: losing Sparrow, losing her father ∬ losing her loved ones, what happened in elementary/middle/high school coming back to haunt her in college ASPIRATION/S: take care of her sister FOREVER ∬ get a degree that will help her help people (nursing? doctor? therapist? environmentalist? ??) POSITIVE TRAITS: honest, easy to talk to, very aware of her emotions, can let go of grudges ∬ good listener, friendly, supportive, forgiving, pacifist, Mom Friend NEGATIVE TRAITS: immediately dislikes you if you look at Sparrow funny, doesn’t always lose her temper but when she DOES, doesn’t know how to pull her punches, god her plastic smiles are the most annoying thing in the world, possibly too honest  ∬ doesn’t think of her own well-being in the least, can’t stand up for herself, highly manipulable, apologizes for everything, gives way too many chances (as in she never stops giving u another chance) ZODIAC: Sagittarius ∬ Pisces (Aquarius-Pisces cusp) TEMPERAMENT: sanguine  ∬ phlegmatic SOUL TYPE/S: warrior ∬ ghdvkhldlf couldn’t take the quiz again but I’d guess server (maybe she coulda been an artist if I hadn’t fucked w things ( ᐛ ) ) VICE HABIT/S: using force when frustrated, cheat day every day?  ∬ apathy towards herself, unnecessary guilt, keeping secrets VIRTUES/VICES: kindness & wrath ∬ patience (and also liKE ALL OF THEM AAAA) & ........maybe like sloth...about herself.....emotionally....... FAITH: Lark has faith in herself hghdksvh ∬ Sparrow has faith in the good of others GHOSTS?: maybe a little but probably not ∬ who knows, why not? AFTERLIFE?: nope ∬ maybe, who knows REINCARNATION?: god she wants to be Sparrow’s sister foREVER ∬ maybe, who knows? ALIENS?: why not ∬ w h o  kn o w s ? POLITICAL ALIGNMENT: democratic-leaning ∬ democratic-leaning or third party EDUCATION LEVEL: college graduate (4 years) ∬ currently in college

FAMILY.

FATHER: Lionel Tempest ∬ Chandler Weave MOTHER: Phoenix Burke SIBLINGS: Sparrow ∬ Lark  EXTENDED FAMILY: uugh I don’t wanna write all this out but Phoenix has a p big family and Lionel has a huge family and Chandler also has a pretty extensive family that he’s largely estranged from NAME MEANING/S: Lark as in the bird ∬ Sparrow as in the bird HISTORICAL CONNECTION?: BIRDS

FAVORITES.

BOOK: the poetry book Sparrow got her ∬ just one favorite?? MOVIE: Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (lotta fond nostalgia) ∬ prolly watches a lot of foreign films? not really a fan of violence 5 SONGS: JUST 5 ??? HOLIDAY: 4th of July bc FIREWORKS  ∬ Christmas bc she can give gifts to ppl MONTH: July ∬ late September/early October SEASON: SUMMER ∬ fall and winter and actually spring and heck why not summer too PLACE: wherever her sister is ∬ home, her uncle’s library (visited once when she was very young, still dreams about it) WEATHER: SUMMER NIGHT ∬ mild autumn day, early winter morning SOUND: the crackle of fireworks and fizz of sparklers; ice cracking; distant traffic; Sparrow singing when no one can hear her; the thump of sand-filled canvas; bird wings ∬ snow falling; Lark idly playing the piano; footsteps on carpet; 3am thunder over the mountains; wind chimes and bells and glass tinkling and music boxes SCENT/S: summer air, heavy and humid; smoke (fireworks, campfire); hot spring waters; lilacs ∬ books and paper and binding glue; evergreen trees and juniper berries; the first breath of a cold day; healthy earth and roots and sun-warmed leaves; graphite and fresh ink TASTE/S: orange soda, carbonates; smooth coffee; light, crunchy snacks ∬ fresh fruits and vegetables; colloidal silver; water after a long run; raspberry chocolate FEEL/S: warmth, solid or soft or just the air pressing around; post-workout, heavy muscles but light on the inside, sweet oxygen and satisfaction; cool piano keys and worn foot pedals ∬ sunlight on window seats; scritta paper; winter’s chill; downy blankets and a warm mug; runner’s high ANIMAL/S: KOALAS ∬ so many?? NUMBER: uh ∬ prolly like 3 or smth COLORS: yellow ∬ soft blue and peach

EXTRA.

TALENTS: piano, kick boxing, Worst puns, keeping a straight face ∬ violin, bullet journaling, painting/ink drawing, cooking, running, creative and harmless pranks BAD AT: being patient, cooking, not starting fights with people who are mean to her sister ∬ speaking up for herself, cutting toxic people out of her life, arguing, jokes and sarcasm TURN-ONS: strong people, cute girls, people with secrets, soulful singers ∬ she’s so confused TURN OFFS: too many secrets, dismissive of Sparrow, BAD teeth, narcissism ∬ are u making her uncomfortable?  HOBBIES: kick boxing, piano, talking about her sister ∬ reading, journaling, painting/drawing, running, violin TROPES:  Action Girl, Plucky Girl, Beauty Mark(s), Cool Big Sis, Daddy’s Girl, DEADPAN SNARKER ∬ Sibling Yin-Yang ∬ Actual Pacifist, Shrinking Violet, The Heart, Friendless Background, Feminine Women Can Cook, Nature Lover AESTHETIC TAGS: coffee n shit, fireworks, summery things, bikes maybe?, that’s yellow, this looks like Sparrow ∬ books, journals, art stuff, blue, snow maybe, skies I guess, pretty things GPOY QUOTES: “When the guys call you bro” ∬ “When you think something’s nice but nobody else does” 

FC INFO.

MAIN FC/S:  ┐(ツ)┌ ALT FC/S:  ┐(ツ)┌ ┐(ツ)┌ OLDER FC/S:  ┐(ツ)┌ YOUNGER FC/S: ┐(ツ)┌ VOICE CLAIM/S: me, actually, when I channel Lark (?? it’s weird) ∬ Liv Tyler GENDERBENT  FC/S: u think i got time for that

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1: if you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?          

A1: hfskdghsdf I’d prolly end up calling it smth rly edgy and dumb like “Forbidden” or “The Blue Rose Girl” which doesn’t even sound edgy it just sounds dumb. black and white might be cool, or sort of a faded color? maybe it would go from black and white to color. it would be about the blue rose verse and the consequences they face bc of Lark’s actions and maybe Sparrow was better off staying dead? the folly of the heart type thing I’m tired can u tell

Q2: what would their soundtrack/score sound like?          

A2: pls don’t do this to me rn I’M WORKING ON IT

Q3: why did you start writing this character?        

A3: it all started w Sparrow. actually it all started with BJDs. I did a faceup and was like “cool who’s this” and thought Sparrow Weave was a cool name and literally started rping her with just a name and a face long story between that n this, but I decided Sparrow needed a sister bc of long story, and a lark was a bird and tempest was sort of the opposite of weave? why did they have to be opposite? Lark totally changed as a character tho originally she was super happy-go-lucky and bouncy and cheerful all the time but then I started to rp her and she was like “MOVE bitch get out the way”

Q4: what first attracted you to this character?          

A4: ?? her name was Sparrow and she looked nice with dead flowers and I threw her into the fray. she grew to be beautiful and extremely damaged. Lark tho, I really liked how she kicked my ass and did her own thing

Q5: describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.          

A5: just cause I know all their flaws doesn’t mean I dont love them for it

Q6: what do you have in common with your muse?          

A6: Sparrow and I are super squishy and people-pleasers and like books and art, and Lark and I get waaaaay over protective of people and have similar taste in puns, although I’m never confident enough to say any of mine

Q7: how does your muse feel about you?          

A7: Sparrow would like me, I’d remind Lark of Sparrow until she found out I’m the cause of her suffering?? then I would cease to exist down to the last atom

Q8: what characters does your muse have interesting interactions with?        

A8: this is going to sound horrible but I have this weird fascination with Sparrow in unhealthy relationships. she’s extremely manipulable but she’s also aware of that? so she might be onto you the whole time but why is she going along with it why does she have so much faith in you what are you going to do. LARK AND HER ENEMIES HALSKFHDKFSH

Q9: what gives you inspiration to write your muse?        

A9: Lark writes herself, Sparrow’s more shy but I know her. if I see or think of anything that reminds me of her I remember everything she’s ever done and I fall in love again. I never lose muse just the ability/focus to make the words go

Q10: how long did this take you to complete?          

A10: fuck ass long I stayed up way too lat workin on it, went back and edited/added more information to parts so it made more sense today, STILL WORKING ON THEIR PLAYLISTS but yeah this was fun!

[askbloomtale]

Chapter 13 is up!!! This one chapter looks... different, somehow.

For those who can’t access AO3 or just don’t want to do it, the chapter is pasted under this sexy cut!!!

Bloomtale

Chapter 13 – The promise

  Snowdin Forest was as quiet as usual. The faint, soporific light that shone through the trees, the comfy-looking snow… Yup, it was another nice day.

Another day of probably doing nothing special.

 Anyway, leaving that aside… hunger was beginning to set in. Bones would itch for too long if no food was given to them. The mysterious and magic mystery of starvation, indeed. Wait, mysterious and mystery in the same sentence? That could’ve been way better. What a mys-ery.

Heh. That one was also bad. Time to git gud, probably. Maybe the lack of food was to blame?

 Oh, anyway. As soon as the first hungry roar sounded, the answer was clear. Staying at that checkpoint would do nothing. After all, no one was there, and no one would be there anytime soon. Better to just scram and get something to munch on, like a burger. No one would notice if it was just for a little while.

 The air quickly shifted as the skeleton pondered, his destination clear in his mind. And after a short second, new snow was under his feet and other trees surrounded him. There it was, the place he needed. His affixed smile seemed to widen as he pushed the door and set foot inside.

Finally, he thought. He had been dying to get there.

 Familiar faces turned to him as he walked through the bar, directly to his favorite spot at the counter. Of course, the few people that were there at that hour smiled and greeted him, as usual.

 “Hey, Sans!” A horse-like monster lifted a hoof to greet him, and the short skeleton smiled and lifted a gloved hand back.

“Hiya, Sansy~!” The bunny from the nearest table was smiling at him, maybe a little too much. Seems like he had been having too much fun again. Welp, Sans was no party pooper. Just leave them be.

 He jumped to the first seat he saw, and let his bony butt rest there. The bird-like creature that was now sitting next to him smiled, curious.

 “Hi, Sans. We expected you to be here much earlier,” he said, cocking his head to one side. Sans smiled as well.

“welp. i would’ve come earlier, but that car magazine was too interesting. i couldn’t help but car-fully read every single word,” he replied, giving a playful wink shortly after the pun was delivered. While he did that he also looked at an imaginary camera, as if he were on a live show. He could almost hear the drum beats.

 Everyone laughed. As they always did, of course. Sans was a really punny guy, after all. Even if his brother could not stand his puns, apparently most people liked them.

 What a great populace. Sans laughed a bit to himself too and then turned to the barman, the hottest guy in town. Maybe because he was actually made of fire? Who knows? He was the only one that didn’t laugh, but… that was just Grillby.

 “sup, grillbz.” Sans greeted his old friend with a lazy hand wave and then let the upper part of his body rest upon the counter. Man, everything felt really heavy that day… he hadn’t been getting enough sleep lately. Maybe fifteen more minutes before waking up… that would be good. But leaving that aside –he would sleep later, probably – the reason why he came there was not just to say hi to everyone, so he placed his order right away. “gimme the usual.”

  No need to say it twice; the orange flame man nodded and went straight into the kitchen to prepare one of those nasty burgers Sans liked so much. The other monsters didn’t understand why he knew so much about food and yet, he ordered the worst of it. Not like they cared that much anyway. Let bybones be bybones, as the skeleton would say.

Sans tapped his bony fingers against the wooden counter as he waited for Grillby. His mind, as always, was wondering someplace else. Did he leave the back door open? Was the tornado trash off, or did he leave it on? And most importantly… where was his ketchup bottle? He searched his pockets looking for it, but he couldn’t find it.

Usually, he always carried some of those with him, so it was no problem, but that one was already open… maybe he left it at his stand? What a shame.

Welp, that’s what Grillby’s ketchup bottles are here for, he thought.

 A sudden noise woke him up from his daydreaming.

 “oh hey, thanks,” the skeleton smiled when he saw that Grillby was back with his burger. A feeling of uneasiness hit him when he saw that his friend was looking at him… weirdly. One fire eyebrow lifted, and his mouth curled in an ambiguous frown.

“…” He wasn’t a man of many words, but clearly he seemed concerned about something.

“what’s up, man? Left the stove on?” Sans tried to escape that situation with a wink and a pun, but it didn’t work. The stare remained unmovable.

 Grillby’s… “interpreter”, the bird man, decided to speak for him. The winged monster usually made up whatever he thought the fire monster was thinking, but sometimes he got it right. That was one of those days.

 “He’s probably wondering why you’re coming here less than usual lately.”

 There it was, the bitter truth.

 “oh. well, it’s no big d,” the male skeleton tried to brush it off. “been busy, ya know.”

 Now Grillby crossed his arms. He didn’t look convinced at all. Oops. He knew Sans well enough to know that he did not have that much work. Or, well… maybe he had, but that wasn’t a reason for him to not go there on his breaks. And he had many, many breaks. Usually self-imposed. So if he said he had “work”… maybe something was up?

 But what a pain, anyway. Sans wasn’t there to be interrogated… he didn’t want to talk about work. And he had yet to work more. With a tired sigh, Sans just shrugged and decided to attack his burger, swallowing it in a few seconds, for the amazement of the people that stood close to him.

 “sorry, gotta go. papyrus will yell at me if i don’t work at least a bit today.” And with that, he jumped off the chair. Successfully eluding Grillby’s questions, who had already given up on trying to get anything form him. He was still crossing his arms, but he was now sighing, with a concerned frown. Sans didn’t really like that… so he tried to reassure his friend at least a bit. “hey, listen. don’t worry. it really is work, alright? i’ve been working myself down to the bone lately, believe me.”

 More laughs.

Grillby didn’t look really convinced, but he just let it go. Maybe it was nothing serious. He would trust Sans on that one.

And in fact, the skeleton was not lying… he had been really busy lately. He couldn’t tell Grillbz about it, anyway… he couldn’t tell anybody.

 Nobody shall know.

 Sans walked to the door again, not bothering to say bye. He would be back soon anyway, there was no point in farewells. Instead, he was thinking of getting back home for some more investigating. He had been getting really interesting readings lately…

 But alas, it was not meant to be. His real work was calling. Or… more like someone in particular was.

“SANS!!” The short monster lifted his head, alerted by the sudden yelling. To his inconvenience, it was no other than his magnificent brother. His red cape waving with the soft breeze, and his battle body shining as usual. How cool.

“sup, bro,” he said, knowing perfectly what was ‘up’. But he liked to feign ignorance, because that would usually make his little bro angry. It was fun.

“YOU KNOW WHAT’S ‘UP’, YOU LAZYBONES!!” Yup. Exactly what he thought. “YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR STATION AGAIN!! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE?? I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT YOUR POST!!”

“i was. but i came for a break,” Sans shrugged. He wouldn’t mention that was his third break of the day. Papyrus didn’t need to know everything, after all.

“YOU’RE ALWAYS TAKING BREAKS… WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU? AT THIS RATE I’LL NEVER GET INTO THE ROYAL GUARD!!” Poor Papyrus was too busy feeling sorry about himself to prevent what was coming.

“don’t worry bro. keep your guard up, i’m sure the chance will come someday,” the small skeleton made special emphasis in the word ‘guard’ so Papyrus would notice the pun even more. Papyrus’ expression shifted from a grateful smile to a bitter frown when he realized.

“OH MY GOD SANS. PLEASE STOP YOUR PUNS AND GO TO WORK!!” The tall monster took a deep breath and started walking away, seemingly defeated… but no! Nothing defeats the great Papyrus! He turned around midway and pointed to his old brother, with a severe look in his eye sockets. “AND DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT BOONDOGGLING AROUND, I’LL BE WATCHING YOU!!

“sure thing, paps. i’ll keep an eyesocket on the place for ya.” Sans was smiling, knowing that he would indeed be watching. Welp, maybe he could get to his ‘hobby’ later. Maybe. Since it was his brother, he didn’t mind it that much.

 Papyrus grumbled and then nodded, relatively pleased. He was not really convinced, but still. He would be watching him for real. That morning, he hadn’t been lucky in his human-catching quest, but soon… soon!

 “I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES!! TODAY HAS TO BE THE DAY… TODAY, I WILL CAPTURE A HUMAN!! NYEHEHEHE!!” The monster walked away towards Waterfall as he yelled, attracting many curious looks. He was making quite a ruckus after all. But of course, he didn’t care at all. There was a report to hand to Undyne, and she would be so impressed once she heard about his very productive day! Nothing had happened at all! Nice job, Papyrus!

 Sans imagined the whole situation in his head as he turned to Snowdin Forest. He snickered. Man, his bro was always so excited about everything. He hadn’t even been able to catch any human that morning – or ever –but he kept his spirits high and he never gave up. He was so hopeful and happy all the time. How cool.

 Welp. Time to get back to work. Sans walked to the gigantic tree that was in the middle of the town and took one of his “shortcuts” again. Of course, he was not going to walk all the way back. That would be too much work. It just took a flash of blue light, and he soon was at the very beginning of Snowdin forest.

 “oops. seems like i stretched it too far,” the skeleton laughed softly when he was he was right at the mysterious door. Too close to the beginning of the forest. It wasn’t knock-knock time yet, was it?

 It had been some time. One day, he was practicing knock-knock jokes at that same door, because… it was such a huge door, what a waste if he didn’t practice his knock-knock jokes on it. And one day, what sounded like an old lady answered him from the other side. She was a great audience, and almost as good with puns as him. He had so much fun, he came back there every day. Not like she was always there, but…he didn’t have anything better to do, anyway.

 What?

Work?

Nah.

 Smiling as always, Sans approached the door and gave it a little knock. Then waited.

 …

No response. Huh. Okay. Maybe it was too soon. Or maybe it was too late? What time was it, again? Afternoon… maybe it was indeed too late. Welp then, he was doomed to go back to his stand and suffer boredom once again.

 As he walked, he remembered... the old lady didn’t sound really happy the other day. He had been telling jokes as usual, and she wasn’t really responding as she always did. She seemed glummer than she normally did. Once he asked what was wrong, she…

 “Oh. So you noticed.”

“welp, it’s my job to assess the crowd. in-crowdible, right?”

“Hehe…well, you caught me. The truth is… I have a guest.”

“oh, that’s cool. why is that a bad thing, tho? you sound sad.”

“You see…”

 And then she told him. How a young skeleton lady had visited her. She didn’t give him many details, she just mentioned that they were a really bright and smart girl. Curious, pretty… but that she wanted to go home. And the young monster’s home was not with her. She didn’t want to, but she had to let her go. It was the right thing to do.

Sans didn’t know there were skeletons in the Ruins. Interesting.

 He kept walking down the snowy path as he reminisced about the conversation. Not really paying attention to his surroundings, as usual. He could just teleport back, but nah, he didn’t feel like it anymore. And it wasn’t that far anyway, he could just walk.

 But then, something caught his attention, making him stroll away from his thoughts.

A glimmer of gold in the snow. The skeleton looked at the trail ahead, confused, but he saw nothing. Strange… he frowned as he scratched his bony head. He would’ve sworn that he had seen…

Walking slightly further, Sans checked the snow for any signs of golden stuff. Like a necklace, a book, or whatever that could be golden or yellow-ish. But of course, he found nothing. Maybe it had just been his imagination. Was he too tired? Was he seeing things?

Whatever. It surely wasn’t that important anyway.

 As he checked the snow, he saw a really big branch that had been tossed aside the road. The usual big branch that he didn’t want to move because it looked heavy. Had that thing always been there, on the side of the way? He surely didn’t move it…

Maybe Papyrus had. After all, his brother was the coolest. He smirked as he resumed his walking, giving up on the golden thing already. It just wasn’t there, man. Who cared?

 And maybe because he had been thinking about it just a few seconds ago, his mind wandered back to his conversation with the old monster. Right after she told him about the skeleton girl… whose name he didn’t know. He didn’t ask. Oops.

 “Could I ask you a favor, please?” The old lady’s voice was still clear in his mind.

“maybe. depends on what it is.” He had replied with his usual careless tone. He wasn’t a man of favors and promises. It was a bother, and he couldn’t usually fulfill them.

“She… she will be leaving soon. Could you please keep an eye on her?” Sans remembered how he had lifted an eyebrow as the old monster quickly continued. “Oh, I know you are busy, and she is old enough to take care of herself, I guess, but… I am still worried. She looks so helpless sometimes…”

“huh.” Sans wasn’t sure on how to feel about that.

“I am not asking you to watch her all the time. Maybe just… just for a bit. I would only like to see how she is doing out there, that’s all.” Her voice was begging.

 Oh, there it was! His ketchup bottle! Sans reached for it and shook it a tad. Then, after checking it was still not empty, he gave it a sip.

 That old lady… she had the same love for puns as he did. It was a kind of integrity he couldn’t really say no to. She was just worried, after all. He could keep an eye socket out for that girl, whoever she was. Not like he knew how she looked, but he would probably know as soon as he saw her. There weren’t any skeletons in Snowdin aside from him and his brother, after all. It would not be that hard. Just watching.

 The short skeleton was cleaning his mouth with his sleeve as he thought so, but then he noticed something interesting.

 Footsteps.

 There were some footsteps around his station.

 How curious… he didn’t notice those before; maybe he mistook them with his own, because they was also a small shoeprints. But… if he looked closely, they were too small. And that was not what his shoe looked like. Huh, so someone paid a visit to his checkpoint. Sans wondered who could’ve been…

 …

 No, wait. Tracing the footsteps, they came from… the Ruins.

 “interesting… i didn’t expect ya to come out this soon.” Sans muttered, having a quite clear idea of who those prints belonged to. Indeed, the way they surrounded his checkpoint, and the lamp… it matched what the old lady said about a certain curious girl. He sighed and put the ketchup bottle back to where it truly belonged, inside his jacket. So now he had to look for her or something?

 What a bother.

 Better not.

 He never said he would check on her RIGHT AWAY, after all. He was tired and just wanted to sit down and read more of his car magazine. There were some hella cool cars that Papyrus would surely love to check out, someday.

 So he did just that. He slowly walked to his station and sad down. He took a moment to look at the footprints once again before shrugging and muttering a lazy “nah”. It didn’t matter anyway. He searched for the worn slick and stared at the car on the first page. Maybe he could get a motorbike or something… it would be cool.

 As if that was gonna happen.

 Submerged in his reading now, the skeleton didn’t even hear the distant screaming that could be heard far away in the woods.

    Sans – 11 Puns Snowdin – Entrance Ketchup bottles: 6

[arisefairsun]

My English teacher left me very confused when learning about Romeo and Juliet. He said that it wasn't a love story because they didn't love each other; Juliet just basically used Romeo, but I don't know what to think. Can you please explain to me if it's a love story, tragedy, or both?

Did your teacher say that Juliet used Romeo? How rude.

The first thing we have to remember is that the feud is the exponent of an unhealthy ideology that promotes violence, hatred, prejudice, and brutal misogyny. Don’t ever forget the world they lived in. Romeo and Juliet are not normal teenagers living in a normal world and making stupid decisions. They are children whose mental health ends up destroyed by the ideals of their families. I just won’t stand anyone who refers to them as ‘dumb’ because it’s a very insulting way of dismissing the destructiveness of social oppression and abuse. It’s so evident that their families caused their deaths that at the end of the play nobody has the guts to blame them for their own deaths and dismiss their emotions as shallow or dishonest. What they have done is too monstrous for them to deny. When both patriarchs find the young lovers dead together in the crypt they see the wrong in their actions and take responsibility for it. They know they killed their children. It was not teenage folly that ruined Romeo and Juliet. It was a sick society that glorified violence and prejudice.

Perhaps your male teacher is annoyed by the fact that Juliet hardly fits in the role of a sixteenth-century obedient wife who goes along with whatever her husband has to say. On the contrary, Juliet has a voice of her own. It is evident from the first conversation between the lovers that she has a very particular, specific way of thinking, and which doesn’t necessarily match that of Romeo. For instance, she gently mocks his stereotyped courtship when she says “you kiss by the book.” I would say she is a far better poet than him—he actually learns from her. Think about the way she corrects him when he tries to swear his love by the moon. She literally rationalizes everything. Romeo needs to get on her level. Later on, he will ask her to “sweeten with thy breath / This neighbour air, and let rich music’s tongue / Unfold the imagined happiness that both / Receive in either by this dear encounter,” to which Juliet answers that “conceit, more rich in matter than in words, / Brags of his substance, not of ornament”. You see, she doesn’t always agree with him, and she presents her own points of view resolutely. She is the one to give lessons.

Moreover, she is capable of turning against Romeo. Look at her reaction to Tybalt’s death:

O serpent heart, hid with a flowering face!Did ever dragon keep so fair a cave?Beautiful tyrant! Fiend angelical!Dove-feather’d raven! Wolvish-ravening lamb!Despised substance of divinest show!Just opposite to what thou justly seem'st,A damned saint, an honourable villain!O nature, what hadst thou to do in hell,When thou didst bower the spirit of a fiendIn moral paradise of such sweet flesh?Was ever book containing such vile matterSo fairly bound? O that deceit should dwellIn such a gorgeous palace!

She only truly decides to stand up for him when she decides that it was most likely Tybalt who started the fight. So she has a very clear perception of judgment that she uses all the time, even when it doesn’t benefit Romeo. He recognizes her independence and doesn’t expect her to behave in a way she doesn’t agree with just because it would do him good. When he is banished, he anxiously asks about her well-being, aware that he may have lost her sympathy for good:

Spakest thou of Juliet? How is it with her?Doth she not think me an old murderer,Now I have stain’d the childhood of our joyWith blood removed but little from her own?Where is she? And how doth she? And what saysMy conceal’d lady to our cancell’d love?

Juliet is a really complex character who doesn’t need to adopt anyone’s posture because she has thoughts and ideas of her own. She has personality. Look at her words. Her courage is limitless:

O, bid me leap, rather than marry Paris,From off the battlements of yonder tower;Or walk in thievish ways; or bid me lurkWhere serpents are; chain me with roaring bears;Or shut me nightly in a charnel-house,O'er-cover’d quite with dead men’s rattling bones,With reeky shanks and yellow chapless skulls;Or bid me go into a new-made graveAnd hide me with a dead man in his shroud.

She doesn’t mind breaking any rules that may prevent her from getting what she wants. And she breaks them simply because she wants to. For instance, living in a world where names, honor, and dynasty do indeed determine people’s lives, she claims that what makes Romeo valuable has nothing to do with his surname. “What’s Montague? It is nor hand, nor foot, / Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part / Belonging to a man.” Tell her that her Romeo is not free from social constructs. She’ll fight you. And where does she get all these ideas from? She gets them from herself.There’s this delicious youth about her, this restless euphoria, this passionate determination, this unstoppable fierceness, this need to experience life freely. Juliet is too alive to stay quietly in the shadows. She has fallen in love with liberty so deeply that once her only chance to achieve freedom dies, she inevitably, tragically, dies as well. In my opinion, she is the most intelligent character in the play. She has some of the deepest and most revolutionary speeches. She makes what is to me the hardest and scariest decision when she drinks the friar’s potion. She is the sun. She is life itself. Romeo knows and admires this. In his dreams, Juliet brings him back to life because “she breathed such life with kisses in my lips.” Her love is stronger than all the hate living in Verona: “Look thou but sweet, / And I am proof against their enmity.” To him, she is a powerful light forcing her way through the window, overcoming the restrictions of the physical space, and thus freely expanding herself through the sky without restraint: “What light through yonder window breaks? / It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.”

However, the patriarchal structure of her society inevitably thwarts her liveliness. She must restrain herself. Look at the way she refers to her house: “Bondage is hoarse and may not speak aloud.” She feels like a prisoner who must stay silent. But if she were free, things would be quite different: “Else would I tear the cave where Echo lies / And make her airy tongue more hoarse than mine / With repetition of “my Romeo!” Now compare that with her attitude in the first act, before she met Romeo. She had assured her mother that she would “look to like, if looking liking move. / But no more deep will I endart mine eye / Than your constent gives strength to make it fly.” She is trapped in the role of the submissive daughter who allows her parents to command her life. She didn’t dare contradict her mother the way she does with Romeo later on. So while she must show obedience to her parents, she can let out her real self in Romeo’s company. He is interested in listening to her and taking into account whatever she has to say. She finds a friend in him, as she once says, and she begins to free herself from the constraints of her society. Romeo is her chance to achieve a more exciting life. But even as she imagines him as a little bird that she can cherish, she stresses her lack of freedom as opposed to his ability to fly. She is “loving-jealous of his liberty.” In the “balcony” scene (though there really isn’t any balcony), she is locked in her window. But look at the stage direction from 2.6, which is when they get married:

Enter Juliet somewhat fast and embraces Romeo.

She comes in running and immediately hugs Romeo because she is finally free to move. So after gaining some agency through their love, she is not ready to let the friar “dispose” of her “among a sisterhood of holy nuns” in the last scene. I’m inclined to read the play as the lovers’ attempt to assert themselves in a society that doesn’t care about them. They try to build new, private identities that do not match their public roles. I will not say they used each other because of the negative connotations of the word, but I will definitely say that they took advantage of their relationship to explore their real selves and figure out what they really wanted to be, and not what their relatives wanted.

I can’t see how anyone could claim that Juliet used him when she is so tenderly in love. In the balcony scene she feels like she will have to wait for “twenty years” to receive Romeo’s news when she’s actually going to send the Nurse for him at nine o’clock in the morning. When she realizes the night is nearly over, she lets him go, but “no further than a wanton’s bird.” She literally fears she would kill him “with much cherishing” because she has too much love to give. She actually feels like her affection is endless: “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, / My love as deep; the more I give to thee / The more I have, for both are infinite.” It makes her feel so rich she “cannot sum up sum of half” her wealth. She complains that “love’s heralds should be thoughts / Which ten times faster glide than the sun’s beams.” She wishes her thoughts and Romeo’s could communicate instantly because the Nurse fails at being “as swift in motion as a ball.” (Notice how she is talking about thoughts here. There’s a lot more than physical desire going on between Romeo and Juliet.) She is so happy to be with him that she pretends it was the nightingale singing. And then there’s the kind of metaphors she creates for him. They are tender and loving. The Nurse says she has been making puns out of the similarities between Romeo’s name and ‘rosemary’. Can you get any more ridiculously sentimental than that? He is her “sweet”, the “god of my idolatry”. She thinks that “every tongue that speaks / But Romeo’s name speaks heavenly eloquence” because he is literally perfect: “So Romeo would, were he not Romeo called / Retain that dear perfection which he owes / Without that title.”

I would also like to stress that she is very protective of him. Romeo is a scared child who needs as much help as her. She does her best to free him from the constraints of their world. Picking up again the pilgrim/saint motif from their first conversation, Romeo asks Juliet to “call me but love and I’ll be new baptized.” From that moment on there will be two Romeos: Montague’s heir and her Romeo. Look at this dialogue between the Nurse and Juliet:

Nurse: Will you speak well of him that killed your cousin?Juliet: Shall I speak ill of him that is my husband?

She knows Romeo’s real, private identity depends on her. If she leaves his side, her Romeo will fade away and the feud will take over his existence. What makes her drink the friar’s potion, after having expressed all her fears, is the thought of Tybalt’s ghost haunting Romeo. She is afraid that Tybalt, who is one of the major exponents of toxic masculinity, violence, and rage, will destroy Romeo if she doesn’t prevent it.

O, look! Methinks I see my cousin’s ghostSeeking out Romeo, that did spit his bodyUpon a rapier’s point. Stay, Tybalt, stay!Romeo, I come! This do I drink to thee.

Her fierce protectiveness is present all along. “I would not for the world they saw thee here,” she’d do anything to prevent her family from hurting him. She stands up for him when the Nurse criticizes him: “He was not born to shame. / Upon his brow shamed is ashamed to sit, / For ‘tis a throne where honour may be crown’d / Sole monarch of the universal earth.” I can’t imagine anything she wouldn’t do to keep Romeo safe and loved: “Things that, to hear them told, have made me tremble; / And I will do it without fear or doubt, / To live an unstain’d wife to my sweet love.”When her mother confesses her plans to poison him, Juliet wittingly offers to prepare the venom herself, making her mother believe that she wants to kill him when she is actually saving his life:

Madam, if you could find out but a manTo bear a poison, I would temper it;That Romeo should, upon receipt thereof,Soon sleep in quiet. 

And then they subvert a lot of patriarchal norms: It’s Romeo who rejects his name, though he never asks the same from her. They consummate their marriage in Juliet’s bed (I read some critic say that Juliet brings Romeo to her “sexual territory” lmao) and finally, Romeo kills himself in the crypt of her wife’s family rather than in that of his own father. I think this is perfectly conveyed in the last dialogue of the play:

Montague: For I will raise her statue in pure gold;That while Verona by that name is known,There shall no figure at such rate be setAs that of true and faithful Juliet.Capulet:  As rich shall Romeo’s by his lady’s lie;Poor sacrifices of our enmity!

Juliet is the center of their conversation. While she will be raised in pure gold and everyone will praise her, Romeo’s merit seems to be that he will lie by her side. Shakespeare acknowledges the importance of Juliet’s character again by ending the play with the words “Juliet and her Romeo.” Which doesn’t mean that Romeo is a fool that agrees with everything that Juliet says. He sometimes disagrees with her. (Remember, for example, when Juliet wanted to take it slow in the balcony scene. He answers, “O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?”. More on that here. Another interesting part is when he agrees to stay with her after the nightingale vs. lark debate, though he still doesn’t believe that she is right. He knows what Juliet is asking for is wrong: “Come, death, and welcome! Juliet wills it so”). I would actually say they’re equals. In fact, they are introduced as “a pair of star-crossed lovers” who “take their life”, not lives, as if to emphasize their alliance and their oneness. Romeo states that his love for Juliet is equal to hers: “My heart’s dear love is set / On the fair daughter of rich Capulet, / As mine on hers, so hers is set on mine, / And all combined, save what thou must combine / By holy marriage.” To him, true love consists of a mutual exchange of affection: “Her I love now / Doth grace for grace and love for love allow.” The chorus claims that Juliet is “as much in love, her means less,” which leads me to believe that the play presents the lovers as internally equal and socially unequal, as this post explains here. Lastly, their parents promise to build equal monuments for both of them. Romeo’s statue will be “as rich” as Juliet’s. It is as if after all the wrong they did, they are finally ready to honor them justly.

I think that while Juliet suffers because of her lack of agency, Romeo suffers because socially speaking he has too much agency (and he will have even more once he inherits his father’s possessions). He basically couldn’t care less about his responsibilities as Montague’s heir. Look at his attitude in the first scene:

O me! What fray was here?Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.

The heir of the Montague house doesn’t even want to know what happened. Later on he will attempt to kill himself in order to get rid of his name: “O, tell me, friar, tell me, / In what vile part of this anatomy / Doth my name lodge? Tell me, that I may sack / The hateful mansion.” On the contrary, Juliet’s perception of the world revitalizes him as she believes that his real identity doesn’t depend on his name. So of course he will describe her as “a rich jewel” hanging in “the cheek of night”, of course he thinks she would “shame those stars / As daylight doth a lamp” if she were in the sky. Of course Juliet is capable of bringing him back to life in his dreams. He clings to her in the same way she clings to him because she instroduces him to a purer side of life. She becomes his home: “And I’ll still stay to have thee still forget, / Forgetting any other home but this.” It’s the pleasure of talking to her that he loves: “How is’t, my soul? Let’s talk; it is not day.” They transcend the restraints of their society with the freedom of their love. Look at Romeo’s words:

With love’s light wings did I o'er-perch these walls;For stony limits cannot hold love out,And what love can do that dares love attempt;Therefore thy kinsmen are no stop to me.

(I think that passage is quite relevant nowadays, since prejudice and hate are inspiring people to build walls and ban innocent souls from coming in. Romeo might be overly sentimental, but the thing is he just wants to get rid of the hate that’s been imposed on him and turn it into love. And that’s not silly or ‘dumb’. Not when you live in a world where hate is accepted and love is seen as a shameful feeling. Romeo refuses to be stopped by those who want to harm him out of hate.)

It’s not that kind of love story where the characters get their happy ending after overcoming some obstacles. We know Romeo and Juliet are sentenced to die from the first lines of the play. The prologue tells us we are going to sit there for two hours to watch them fall. We don’t know how it’s going to happen, but we know it will somehow. And I think part of the point is this: People can’t be happy if their society doesn’t support them. They can’t be free if they are forced into violence, in Romeo’s case, and passivity, in Juliet’s case. It’s the story of two children who try their hardest to become what they want to be, and they do so with each other’s help. But they fail because they are left alone. They die because they cannot live without each other. They cannot live without each other because nobody else can help them. Nobody else can help them because their society is sick. It’s a love story that exposes the problems of a toxic environment.

As for the genre, it’s something that has been up for debate for centuries. Some say it’s a tragedy. Some say it shares some characteristics common of comedies. Indeed, you could argue that the play follows the pattern of a comedy up until Mercutio’s death. It really depends on how you want to look at it. Romeo and Juliet die, but the feud dies as well. Capulet and Montague assure that there will be no more hate in Verona. So you could say that Friar Laurence’s wishes are fulfilled. The lovers, the “poor sacrifices”, turn their households’ rancor “to pure love.” Love wins. They fix their world. There will be no more violence. But the ending is evidently still tragic as the young lovers lose their lives. I would say it’s both a pessimistic and optimistic story at the same time.

This post is getting too long, but I could go on. Come back to the ask box if you have any question!

[titheguerrero]

More Than Just Dander

First, a sort of meta-comment in the form of a shout-out to HCRenewal's intrepid editor, Dr. Roy Poses, for his just-published analysis of what we might call "blogging: rise and fall." He sees decline reflected in publications long  devoted to health and health policy, yet now flaking off. Methinks, however, despite the usefulness of his overview of recent decades, Dr. P need not fret excessively. Water spilling out of the barrel's lip will slow down once folks come along and punch a whole bunch of little mid-section tweet-holes in it. Information still flows. (Sort of.)  In any case, surely there's overlap between blogs' and tweets' readerships. Surely well-researched and -reasoned long form still has its place. Unfortunately, hard to know for sure: it's hard to measure. Nobody's polling these folks and to my knowledge information scientists haven't published much--a quick search inside Google Scholar bears this out--that's of a quantitative nature. So we're left with admittedly rather unsatisfactory anecdotal reports on people who need blogs like ours and find their way to it. Congressional staffers you know who you are. Rightly or wrongly, I'm hopeful. Maybe we shade this a little by the suspicion that many younger social media users share with me a short attention span. Hence they come to rely more and more on quick hits. In any case, let's hope this is evolution and diversification, not just entropy and a race to the bottom. Now to my theme of the day. Yet again the dander hath risen for I've lost count how many times around what ails our health delivery systems. And so is my lunch: the gorge, too, hath risen. The miscreants' very relentlessness is nauseating. More, then, on two of them that keep cropping up here like those small burrowing insectivores in this tedious yet oddly riveting game of Whack-A-Mole. A. Chicanery at the VA: looking back and looking forward. On balance, and despite its many flaws, VA health's operation in all its enormity is not itself a miscreant. Different story for those folks trying to destroy it from within, on the dubious premise that lest we privatize it it's irredeemable. Search this blog on "VA Cetona" for detail on such matters. Why does this even happen? We've described the VA's Shadow Rulers (search here on that as well) in these pages. The SR's fall in the 0.1%. Why do they need or want the headache of trying, in what's fated to be a futile effort, to upend and hollow out the health lifeline extended for nearly a century to patriots returning from the military? When the left gets power it tries to expand and improve government. (Of course the efforts can unfortunately go awry, viz. Hillarycare in the 1990s, and cast shade on future attempts.) When the right gets power, at least in the two generations since an actor became president in 1980, government is seen as "not the solution but the problem." The response may be to try to rejigger and downsize. "Drown the baby in the bath." Or, perhaps far more likely, something else now happening in the VA and throughout the Trump kakistocracy. Namely, don't seize power to return it to the people. Seize it in order to use it in a third-dimensional play to drain resources. As for the first two dimensions, don't even try to improve--David Shulkin's mistake (see below)--or eliminate (despite Mick Mulvaney's baby drowning proclivities, hugely unpopular) care provided by the VA. Not when there's a third way: divert those resources. In fact, from the earliest instances of frontier exploitation to the newest frontier we have--our heretofore private personal information--despoliation has been the watchword, the core motive, the secret sauce: don't ameliorate. Don't eliminate. (Honestly: viz., Shrub's expansion of guvmint.) Despoliate. It is, as Shrub used to say (maybe), one of our country's most basic pieces of strategery. Such a strategy was discussed (and surely it's as old as the hills) by Times tech reporter Steve Lohr in a recent piece on, of all things, artificial intelligence. ("Elixir of prosperity [or] job killer"?) Lohr makes clear that what's old is new again, linking the asset of private data to all the other assets that've been strip-mined. "In the American model," notes Lohr, "coming from Silicon Valley in California, a handful of Internet companies become big winners and society is treated as a data-generating resource to be strip mined." As Buffy the Vampire Slayer once said, "can you spell 'duh'?" Strip mining started with the earliest settlers, and now ... data, the final frontier. Same deal, though. The American model, and economic maldistribution, and so much of our plight is bound up with this baked-in trait, which seems to've seeped into society's DNA. Or else originated there. Find a mine. Strip it. Let others pick up the pieces. But let's go back to that last credible VA Secretary. How do we know that Shulkin pissed off the strip-miners? Why, just read what he himself wrote in a scholarly publication just a few months ago in the prestigious New England Journal. In a piece entitled "why the VA needs more competition," he and closely-associated Michigan colleague Kyle Sheetz first declared, unequivocally and repetitiously, competition: good!!! Emphasis in the original through repetition. Clever. After reassuring their audience how much they liked competition they let the cat out of the bag in the final paragraph of a long-ish article: "Privatizing the VA by offering unregulated access to private-sector providers is probably not feasible, necessary, or the best way to care for veterans." That's exactly what the quietly-undermining, unelected Trumpsters pushing for strip-mining veterans' health care didn't want to hear. We know (see below) how that came out. Similar in emphasis is a piece just out (January 2019) in the equally prestigious Annals of Internal Medicine, by (no pun intended) veteran federal health official Carolyn Clancy and her own VA/AHRQ colleagues. I'm perplexed at the way Clancy herself has hung in there (and yet she persisted) at the federal agencies to which she's contributed greatly over recent decades. I'm perplexed about how, within these agencies,she's been bounced around, most recently landing as the VA's "Deputy Under Secretary for Discovery, Education and Affiliate Networks." (That top's spinning so fast what I just wrote may already be superannuated news.) In any case Clancy et al. put their shoulders to Shulkin's wheel extolling the May 2018 federal MISSION legislation streamlining VA and non-VA care, and the ostensible role their new Center for Innovation might play in such an effort. They pointed out all the right innovation-cum-research caveats about the need for adequate data: "paying for value could backfire without accurate measurement of costs and outcomes." In this case they were certainly correct: privatizers in this particular world aren't interested in evidence-based anything. They're profiteers. (See: "Department of Education." See: "Department of the Interior." See: Environmental Protection Agency.) Shulkin's words saw the light of day about a month after the MISSION legislation, in the final days of June, 2018. But here's why I put Shulkin having "liked competition" in the past tense. By the time his NEJM piece appeared Shulkin, also accused of what I still deem to've been truly flimsy ethics violations, was already gone from his organization. By the end of March the Orange Man had already fired him. As a personal fiasco this was unseemly, since the VA secretary was a rare bird who both consented to be a hold-over from early administrations, yet managed early on to be a current POTUS favorite. Surprising? In this White House? In none of these events was there ever put forward any really compelling justification either for privatizing VA care or for starting with the assumptions that outside "leaders" and outside doctors could do a better job than--what with all their flaws--VA medical staff. Suzanne Gordon, a distinguished journalist and author, admittedly parti pris as a fellow of the Oakland-based 501(c)3 Veterans Healthcare Policy Institute, has just published an American Prospect piece on "Trump’s under-the-radar push to dismantle veterans' health care." Her central thesis is worth quoting in extenso.

[The Republican] strategy will not only erase what has been the most successful American experiment in government-delivered health care, but will also send veterans out into a private system that is more expensive, less accountable, and unable to meet their particular needs. The key notion underpinning the Mission Act, that the private sector can offer comparable care to the VHA, is deeply flawed. Study after study (after study) has found that the VHA generally outperforms the private sector on key quality metrics, and that private providers are woefully unprepared to treat the often unique and difficult veteran patient population. The most recent evidence came in a Dartmouth College study published in December, which compared performance between VHA and private hospitals in 121 regions across the country. The results: In 14 out of 15 measures, government care fared “significantly better” than private hospitals.

Gordon also has a new book out on this subject, as most supporters of the traditional VA system already know. Worth a look. Meanwhile the Senate and White House and those advising them clearly never really cared about quaint ideas such as "studies," "evidence," or "data." They cherry-pick a few quotes about the brusqueness of some VA care, which often is admittedly more bureaucratic than today's "consumer-facing" and endlessly-polling private-care organizations. You can find those quotes as well as I can--any search engine known to man will do the trick. Recent events on the larger political canvas make it abundantly clear, in the meantime. It's not about quality. It never was. It's about callously starting with a dismissive attitude toward government workers, then back-solving from there. Having worked for years at the VA, I can vouch for its quality as well as its struggle to assist the really needy patients who depend upon it. In fact, this new study shows quite rigorously that the VA was already dramatically reducing wait-times within multiple VA installations, right down to private-sector levels. So this branch of government has listened and successfully striven to achieve a performance level that's not just high-science but also high-touch, as medicine's "customers" (yechhh) have come to expect. The present furlough of federal employees proves the point. If you can dismiss someone as human collateral-damage, you don't start first by examining the good things they've done for you. You're an elephant poacher. Take the spoils and leave the carcass to rot. B. More on the Opiate Eaters Who Eat Very Well. Speaking of despoliators, Dr. Poses and I both wrote here recently on how, in the world of dangerous narcotics, this single family of mostly physicians, the Sacklers, garnered a much more grand market share than they like to let on. Time to add to that and earlier reporting with a few updates. When, in a different venue than the VA I was providing front line medical care to privately-insured patients, I noticed an arresting change. I saw more and more folks arrive in my office in shop-till-you-drop mode seeing opiate renewals. Always OxyContin, Percocet or Vicodin. If I didn't provide the "fill" they'd go next door. The demand built and built. The drug makers kept assuring they were safe and effective. At free dinners they paid an army of fellow physicians to regale us with the same message. Then those patients started to die on me. OD courtesy of "safe" Purdue (and others') product. Then in the past very few years, and I honestly should've seen it coming but didn't, the crisis spilled over from doctors' exam rooms into the political arena. It's actually something, unlike the VA, that's garnering a certain timid degree of nonpartisan interest in finding practical solutions, call it consensus even, starting with decriminalizing measures. But I find it gorge-raising to see the usual suspects continuously fighting the notion that as a society, we blew it with opiates. We blew it. With their help. I've spent a fair amount of time looking at similar medico-legal crises, including the far-reaching tobacco and environmental lead poisoning matters, as well as narrower ones such as evolving surgical and pharmacological approaches to certain diseases. In every case our tort system, combined with the deep pockets of those who are (allegedly) truly guilty, conspire to perpetuate Bleak House-style court battles over culpability. Strip miners seem to believe--or want us to swallow whole the absurdist notion--that they leave the world a better place. In the case of Purdue, this false consciousness is undoubtedly propped up by the Sacklers' prowess as culturati: one can hardly turn around, as I recently did at the Met in New York, without finding their name plastered on this gallery or that institution of higher learning. But the motive, be it within the strip miners' organization or that of a cultural organization, comes down to the same thing: "we need the money." Allegedly. Recent disclosures from "sources," including internal Purdue emails, clarify all this. Fortunately for us it turns out the founder's (Raymond's) son Richard was an early adopter--relatively so--of email. Both were physicians, but Richard was of the first generation to be granted an American MD. Email was barely used at all in 1995 when Microsoft first added a TCP/IP stack to its operating system, with the introduction of Windows 95. Then email really took off, by 2001 having a fair amount of penetration in the business world. So maybe we shouldn't be so surprised that Purdue Pharma was squirreling away some of Richard's pronouncements in an archival time capsule for our delectation nearly a generation later. According to a new court filing recently revealed in the NY Times, Richard Sackler said some, um, fairly incriminating things to say in these internal emails. Still earning his spurs as head of daddy's (and Uncle Mortimer's) company after a couple of years or so in the saddle, and undoubtedly aware of the dramatic uptick in addiction issues that I saw in my own clinic in those turn-of-the-century years, he allegedly blasted everyone else in sight--except, of course, his own ever-so-cultured family. "[T]he launch of OxyContin tablets will be followed by a blizzard of prescriptions that will bury the competition. The prescription blizzard will be so deep, dense, and white...." said Sackler fils. Based on no evidence reps were told to claim a “less than one percent" risk of addiction. As for that small subset of patients who did find themselves hopelessly addicted, the claim was to be made that “We have to hammer on abusers in every way possible.... They are the culprits and the problem. They are reckless criminals.” Now, hot off the press in 2019, the Guardian reports how this overall attitude has been replicated within the lobbyist-influenced government of Messrs. Trump and Azar. Since 2015 (pre-Trump! pre-Azar!) chair of the FDA's own Anesthetic and Analgesic Drug Products Advisory Committee, Kentucky anesthesiology professor Raeford Brown has bravely characterized the rift that now mires down the FDA in tackling this crisis seriously. Admittedly with cover from many in Congress, Brown said this to interviewers.

I think that the FDA has learned nothing. The modus operandi of the agency is that they talk a good game and then nothing happens. Working directly with the agency for the last five years, as I sit and listen to them in meetings, all I can think about is the clock ticking and how many people are dying every moment that they’re not doing anything. The lack of insight that continues to be exhibited by the agency is in many ways a willful blindness that borders on the criminal.

Scott Gottlieb, who's tying your hands? Is it this guy? The FDA seems to be replete with such interlocking-directorate staff, all trying to assure  the "level playing field." And what is that playing field? Who are the players? We can answer this. Talk to the drug reps (I have). Except of course those who wake up and see what they're really doing, burn out and bail out. Talk to the lobbyists and the investors (I have). The watchword is not "safe and effective." It's blame-the-victim and lucrative. Let's get our motives straight here. You can do that just fine without listening to us at Health Care Renewal. Just listen to Richard Sackler in a time capsule from 2001. Ever wonder why the strip-miners need so much of our patients' loot? Well, take a little trip to Davos, Switzerland, where the rich and rich go to rub shoulders and tell each other how smart they are: YouTube offers a hint here. B'bye--too much dander, got to go take a bath. Article source:Health Care Renewal

[okacinnamonbun]

I have 30 videos on my channel!

Just wanted to give like...a milestone. Thanks to everybody who’s subscribed to me and liked all my videos. Still dunno if likes count for anything, but then again I’m still a baby at all this stuff. I appreciate all the support from you guys and look forward to making more content you guys can enjoy!

I also wanted to give a few updates in regards to the channel and what it means for this blog:

My Youtube Account and this blog are now linked and verified.

Any time you see an “i” bubble pop up on one of my videos, it’s a link to this blog that will take you to my most recent post. That means that if you clicked on the “i” bubble to get here, you’re seeing this post first. If not, hello from the future!

I noticed that some of my videos are monetized because they have Nintendo’s content in them.

Now, for the Mario Kart video I uploaded of my boyfriend and I in Sweets Canyon, that’s fine. I uploaded it through my Wii U anyway, so that’s nothing to sneeze at; however, some of my other videos, such as Yandere-chan and Senpai’s love story in Miitopia, and a highlights video of my best friend and her boyfriend kicking butt are now monetized because they have content Nintendo owns.

Majority rule, I’ve done everything I can in the description in regards to disclaimers. I don’t put them at the top because nobody likes reading those. I’m basically doing free advertising and mentioning whenever spoilers are lying around. I don’t think an obligatory ice level with a minotaur counts as spoilers, but correct me if I’m wrong.

So what’s that mean for the channel?

As far as I’m aware, nothing. There will probably just be Miitopia ads in front of them. If anybody has an answer to the question, feel free to put a message in the notes or reblog with your knowledge on the subject. I have Youtube Red, so I wouldn’t know.

Really, Nintendo just acknowledges that some of the stuff in those videos is their property. AND THEY’RE RIGHT! In fact, all of it is except for the characters that the miis portray. I just own a copy of the game and am showing it off. How you play the game is up to the player! I’m not begging people to play the game exactly the way I’m playing it.

There are some dislikes in some of my videos.

My excuses: I don’t have a capture card. I have a 2DS, so audio plays on one side. My camera is a cell phone. It’s faster to upload a video from my phone because of it. Not everyone likes Yandere Simulator and that’s fine. But I have enough views to say that SOMEONE appreciates what I do on my channel, and that works for me!

Yandere Dev put the Stray Yandere Dev video in his liked videos. 

EEEEEEEEEEE, I know! ...Main reason being that anything I make that I think he’ll enjoy I send through an email or Tumblr, as he mentioned that he likes fan-made stuff. The ones he comments one are clearly the ones he enjoys the most, so that’s two birds with one stone.

I think my favorite thing is how excitable everyone gets at the sight of his comments. Hell, even CDawgVA lost his marbles (which is why I got him a senpai keychain) (I HAVE PROOF!)

Do you know about the thing in Miitopia?

Yeah, I do. It hit me hard...But then everyone in-game at the Hub talked about it and I couldn’t stop laughing. Reminded me of all the haters.

...Nobody actually asked me any of these questions, I’m just putting them out there in case anyone does. So now I’m taking the time too goof off.

Are you Italian?

As far as I’m aware, yes. My mother is half Irish, my dad is half Italian, so that makes me quarter Irish, quarter Italian...and somewhere in between them are Welsh, German, Dutch, and maybe some other stuff. I’m a mutt.

Why’s your username Italian Love Cake if you aren’t 100% Italian?

So there’s a food called Italian love cake. It’s my favorite dessert and my Granny Terry always did the recipe justice. Keep in mind it has eggs, cheese, and chocolate, so if you have an allergy or intolerance, don’t eat it. I started off with making my username Italian_Love_Cake on Twitch, then it kinda branched out to Tumblr, Gmail, Discord, and finally Youtube.

Are you related to ItalianStallion on Twitch?

Only through a sacred bond called ethnicity.

You seem cool. (I really don’t! I’m exaggerating in case anyone cares!) Do you have a main blog?

My main blog is italian-love-cake.tumblr.com. I usually reblog stuff I enjoy because what else would I do with a dashboard blog? Currently my most popular post that I made myself is a shitty Mystic Messenger pun. And you may have noticed that I have a 707 post on here. That’s not a coincidence.

Other interests I have are Steven Universe, (Gemsonas aren’t really my thing though. You can do whatever, just know that I don’t like it when you tag characters that aren’t in your content. Just saying.) Dream Daddy, Host Club (have a blog for that), Amnesia Memories (blog), Seduce Me (similar blog to Amnesia blog), food, cats, cute things, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, Strong Bad, Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, Animal Crossing, Princess Peach, RWBY, Vocaloid (not just Miku), um...other stuff?

Some things I know about fandoms I had just learned through other people’s content. So for example, if you asked me about Gravity Falls, Miraculous Ladybug, Rick and Morty, Voltron, and other stuff like that, I’d know what you’re talking about, but not enough to hold a conversation. So don’t ask, otherwise I’ll just look like an idiot.