#instead of seeing it as a pressure to write the character as a primary character

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia,

I need some advice. I've been writing a story and posting it online and it's acquired a decent amount of readers.

I have this one character who is a secondary character, not a main, but they've become very popular with my readers and I've been getting many asks on when I'll be writing a story for this character, where they are the mc.

The problem is I don't feel the same way about this side character as my readers do. In fact I don't care much for them at all which I suppose is weird? I care about my main characters obviously but this side character is like... honestly I have no idea why they've become so popular. I've been trying to see them the way my readers see them, because surely there's a reason they've become a fan favourite, but I just... can't. It's so upsetting and frustrating because I love my main characters and want to focus on them but then I feel like I'm betraying my readership because they clearly want me to write a story about this character.

And then I feel angry at myself because why the hell can't I feel the same way about a character that I myself created? What's wrong with me?? Do I just need time to sit and flesh them out more? Will it take time for them to grow on me?

Anyway I would just really appreciate your thoughts on this. Have you ever created a character that you don't hate but don't particularly love either and then that character becoming extremely popular with readers?

How do you deal with that?

Thanks for reading my rant.

Hi anon,

There's actually a very simple answer to this which is (probably) going to make my response a lot shorter than your ask (probably not given how long my responses are).

You cannot make everyone happy because you are not all the same person. That's just...normal. It's normal. You're a human person and therefore have your own likes and dislikes, and other people who are not you have their own likes and dislikes, and our job in life isn't to make sure we all share exactly the same likes and dislikes.

Therefore all you have to do when people start talking to you about this other character is just go 'that's cool that you like them so much! I don't feel the same way though.' And if people are becoming too pushy in your comments, just make an author's note like 'please stop asking me to write stuff about (second character) because I don't want to and I'm getting tired of saying so, thanks!'

That's it. Done. You can find 100 ways to put down the boundary, but the idea that there is something wrong with you simply because you have preferences, is like, nope. Nothing wrong with you, stop giving yourself a hard time for being a human being.

Like in this instance, you are just a plain ordinary human being who has preferences like the rest of us and all you need to say is 'that isn't my preference' in the way that feels natural to you.

And yes, this happens to me a lot re: some of the characters I've made, in different permutations, and I'll I say - and have said in comments, ask responses and more - is 'that's cool that you like them so much, unfortunately I just don't feel the same way.' It's happening these days when people keep asking for Augus/Gwyn and I smile and say 'you have 1.5 million words of them, please go read it or write your own.' It happened all the way back when people cared way more about Bunnymund as a protagonist than I ever did or have since. And for every single really annoying 'will you ever make one of them get pregnant and have babies' request, I lay down a boundary.

That's a normal part of life, anon. People are different to you and have likes and preferences of their own. Sometimes they'll try and persuade you to share in those likes. And sometimes you will and you'll feel inspired. But not sharing in them is completely normal.

You deal with it by having boundaries, anon, that respect your preferences. :)

Tl;dr - You are not other people. Stop trying to become other people. Stop giving yourself a hard time for not being other people. Respect what you like and dislike, and set your boundaries accordingly.

PS: You invented the character as a secondary character, that's probably why you don't feel like writing them as a primary character; as it was never their/your intention in the first place. It's normal to not feel the same way for them / about them!

[gourmetofglut]

The Mischaracterization of Ferris: A thread analyzing Re: Zero's most misinterpreted and overlooked character.

Note: This is a re-edit of a thread I wrote on Twitter. I recently decided to start using Tumblr a bit more. Since I've also been wanting to back up most of my threads, I figured I might as well move everything here. This is the first re-edit I'll be posting on this site. It was one of my favorites to write, so I hope it's enjoyable!

Side story spoilers for the entire thread. Arc 8 spoilers in the speculation section (will be marked since so many people aren't caught up).

For novel readers of Re: Zero, Ferris stands as one of the most divisive characters in the fandom. Considering his poor utilization in the anime and his role in the story within Arc 3, it's easy to see why.

On one hand, Ferris is one of the most outwardly aggressive characters toward Subaru in Arc 3. He makes no secret of his disdain from the start and consistently throws jabs at him every opportunity he gets. This behavior can certainly leave a negative first impression.

On the other hand, Ferris is quite a fascinating character who serves an important role within the narrative of Arc 3. He doesn't let Subaru off as easy as everyone else, which is exactly what makes seeing him grow respect for Subaru satisfying.

Whichever opinion you hold, that’s mostly irrelevant today. Instead, I will be simply discussing his character and his role in the story, as well as arguing in favor of many of his merits that people overlook.

Ferris's primary role is similar to all the Royals Candidates' knights: serving as a foil for Subaru. I've explained the similarities between Subaru and the other knights before, but to sum it up as quickly as possible all 3 of them represent a version of what Subaru could be.

Reinhard is a version of what Subaru could've been if he were the typical isekai protagonist, Julius is a lot more complicated but he’s essentially what Subaru could've been if he were granted enough power to face his enemies on even ground, and Al is Subaru if he had been just a bit unlucky in where he had been sent; becoming someone who struggles to care and abuses his powers to the fullest.

Ferris is much the same, though it can be argued he parallels Subaru the hardest, except for maybe Al. The resemblance on paper between the two is uncanny. They are both physically weak men who often don't fit traditional gender roles and have the sole desire of helping a woman they love to achieve her dreams of becoming a Royal Candidate, no matter the personal costs to themselves.

To do this, they use an extraordinary power unique to them (in Subaru's case RB, and in Ferris' case his magic that is relative in power to an authority). Their need to rely on others for victory is a source of immense mental turmoil and often leaves them full of self-loathing.

They place immense value in the lives of others, even those who have or will harm them, to the point that they are willing to be harmed to help them. Seeing others casually disregard the lives of others serves as one of the things that anger them the most.

They are both prone to obsessively possessive behavior and have sometimes even directed it towards the one they love. This often leads to them getting in trouble due to their jealousy.

There are more similarities I could point out, but you get the point.

Where am I going with this though? Ferris is clearly a parallel to Subaru, but what does he represent regarding him? Put simply, I believe Ferris is meant to represent what Subaru could've been if his parents were just a bit different.

Parent and Child is one of the most crucial chapters for informing us about just the kind of person Subaru is. Perhaps the most important piece is how it helps us understand just how much of his current personality is a result of his father. Subaru not only looked up to him but actively mimicked him to achieve his goals. The pressure of the surrounding world caused him to default to trying to be his father instead of who he truly was. Subaru's parents weren't perfect. In fact, they were very flawed people. Regardless of this fact though, they are responsible for many of Subaru's positive traits.

The same is true for Ferris and his shitbag of a father. If you were to ask any novel reader what Ferris' defining trait as a character is, they would probably say anger or bitterness.

This isn't surprising, as that's how he typically acts towards everyone except Crusch and Fourier, even when it comes to friends such as Julius.

I would argue, however, that this is merely an act he defaults to when he is stressed or angry, similar to Subaru's mimicry of his own father.

During his bitter moments, such as his cold statement to Subaru as he leaves Crusch's mansion in Arc 4, Ferris is merely defaulting to what he has learned to be the best method of dealing with his stress...a method that is eerily similar to how Biehn sometimes acts in EX 1.

Whether Ferris acknowledges it or not, his attitude at his worst moments makes him come off like his father. He can be cruel, sometimes even callous. He shows intense rage when he doesn't get his way and attacks the part of his opponent that is most vulnerable.

This attitude can blind him to the point that he can even hypocritically act racist towards Emilia. Ferris' entire life has been defined by discrimination. In the face of someone he should know has faced many of the same issues, he once again acts almost exactly like his own father.

It was in the middle of a mental breakdown, but that does not excuse him just like it does not excuse Subaru.

Speaking of his parents, it's also notable how their inability to connect with Ferris parallels Naoko and Kenichi's struggles with Subaru.

Ferris' dad is a bombastic, loud man who was (once) well-respected and causes many of Ferris's issues through his actions and Ferris' emulation of him. His fatal flaw in the end was that he could not understand Ferris, similar to how Kenichi could not fully understand Subaru.

Ferris' mom, on the other hand, fully understood the distress he was under but did not have the confidence to interfere or make a change as Ferris wasted away, similar to Naoko's inability to help Subaru when he most needed it.

That's not to say Kenichi or Naoko are even a thousandth as bad as either of those two, but their struggles with their child deeply parallel each other.

Back on track though, I want to highlight a bit more of Ferris' parallels with his father using perhaps the most damning example.

This specific scene is from "The Saga of the Great Crusch-sama Begins." When faced with his mother, whom he hates so much, he attempts to stab her in the chest. Crusch gets caught in the crossfire causing Felix to freak out and unlock his water magic to save her.

What can at first be written off as just a unique origin for Ferris' water magic gets recontextualized hard in EX 1, where it's revealed his father killed his mother in the exact same method.

It's such an eerie similarity and something that I feel gets overlooked too often when discussing Ferris.

As shown in scenes like the one above, Ferris often projects this image of hatred, bitterness, and malice. It's easy to write that off as just the kind of person he is as so many often do...

...but there's obviously more to it than this. There is far more to Ferris than his mimicry of his father.

Ferris doesn't allow himself to be vulnerable very often in the story. Only when he is with Fourier and Crusch, as well as when he is in the most intense moments of crisis, does he show who he actually is. Stress is the best test of character after all.

The best example to me? His confrontation with the father he so often emulates.

If Ferris was actually as vindictive as he so often outwardly acts, how would you expect him to react to the death of a man he hated so much?

Wouldn't he taunt him? Wouldn't he make his last moments a living hell? Wouldn't he crow in pleasure at his agony? Would you be able to even blame Ferris if he made Biehn's last moments hell?

You would expect that...but that's not how he reacts. At that moment, watching as the man who tortured him so much dies an awful death, he just shows sadness. He thinks about the possibility that they could've just worked things out. He just wishes that things could be different.

Despite everything his father had done to him, despite all the rage at the world Ferris projects, the moment he is put into a scenario he likely dreamed of he can't help but feel pity that this was the only route he could take. He never wanted to hurt even Biehn of all people.

And this, I believe, is Ferris's actual defining trait underneath his persona of cynicism and bitterness: kindness and a greater love for life than perhaps anyone else in the series.

Ferris's power, as Fourier once said, is the kindest in the world. At his core, Ferris is just as kind as his power.

Think about it. Despite Ferris's words, what is the thing that upsets him most?

People who waste their lives. Whether it be Subaru, Fourier, a random Vollachian guard, or even Witch Cultists...Ferris can't bring himself to watch life be thrown away. It just hurts him, regardless of how horrible the person is.

Just like Subaru, Ferris wants to help everyone, even if it costs him so much. The pain that he feels when he is unable to do so is immeasurable, as Subaru himself states in Volume 8. He is struggling with the same realization as Subaru: saving some people is impossible.

So where will this lead? What does this have to do with the themes of the story? Well, to answer that, I’ll have to take a little diversion to talk about one of the more…difficult topics involving Ferris.

Ferris and his relationship with gender is something that I feel a lot of the fanbase is really fucking weird about. Even ignoring the pretty deep-rooted transphobia in a lot of discussions involving him (he isn't trans, but he is heavily trans-coded and there really shouldn't be so much of an issue in letting people read into that), there's a feverish desire to deny that his status as a person not conforming to gender norms matters at all. All too often, people reduce it to just a fetish or something to make jokes about.

The reason this is such a bafflingly stupid take though is because of how blatant the importance is to anyone who has read EX 1. Even Tappei himself has stated that many of the things he wants to do with Ferris could not be done without this aspect of his character.

Ferris's non-conformance is part of a promise made with Crusch. Ferris took on her femininity while Crusch took on his masculinity. It's a promise between the two that proves their devotion to one another. It's the ultimate symbol of their affection for one another.

In Aganau IF Ferris dresses and acts more masculine, precisely because his connection to Crusch no longer exists.

I'd also argue it's why he continues to dress as he does even when Crusch no longer has her memories, desperately holding onto the literal symbol of the bond between them.

However, unlike Crusch who seems to love who she is both when taking on more masculine and feminine traits, finding a balance between them; Ferris can't do the same. He sees it merely as a means to show his devotion rather than something he does for himself.

He constantly expresses that it is all for Crusch and Crusch alone. If anything he seems to resent his inability to fulfill any kind of masculine role, as shown once again in his conversation with Biehn in EX 1.

When pushed to finally unleash all his true feelings to Biehn, what does he bring up as the main reason for his resentment? His abuse? His coldness? His murder of his mother? Any of the innumerable unforgivable things Biehn has done to him?

No. Ferris points at his body. He anguishes over his skinny arms, his inability to wield a sword, his lack of muscle, and his lack of fighting prowess. He hates his lack of masculine features and how he's unable to live up to his idea of what Crusch's knight should be.

He literally sees his masculinity as something stolen from him by his father; leaving him so empty that he needed something else to fill that void.

Crusch gave him something to fill that void. Crusch gave him a way to live. Crusch filled his soul...but he still resents what he "has" to be.

Now does that mean he resents Crusch? No, of course not. But he does resent that this is the only thing he can do for her; the only person he can be. Deep down, he doesn't seem to want to be the way he is, and instead of trying to change that he gives in to despair.

He's stuck in that hatred, in that desire to meet Crusch's expectations, and in that moment where a starving child begged to be released and was finally brought into the light. In many ways, he acts like a child.

This is quite literally represented in him preventing himself from going through puberty; a symbol in many stories of transitioning from childhood to adulthood. He sees his current form as a shackle whether he realizes it or not.

Now does that mean that Ferris should disregard his femininity entirely? Throwing away the representation of his love for Crusch and something that has defined him for so long seems as self-destructive as staying stuck. What's the solution? Where is his arc going?

Well, before that, I want to cover one last thing before I have to delve into Arc 8 spoilers. There's a bit of a side tangent I want to go on.

With everything I've been able to point out up to here, it's clear that Ferris is a remarkably complex character. There's so much to read into and talk about.

So why is he so hated?

He's so similar to Subaru, possibly the most popular character in the novel fandom. Despite all the claims of him being the worst and me highlighting his character's flaws, he hasn't done anything more morally dubious than the vast majority of characters in this series, even when he was pushed to the edge. This is especially true when compared to some of the most popular characters like Subaru or Roswaal. Hell, characters even more directly belligerent than Ferris like Priscilla don't get half the hate (though Priscilla's perception has...its own issues).

Why does he get disregarded so often? Why is he often treated as shallow fetish fuel? Why is he just reduced to being an asshole in every discussion that involves him?

Well, I have a few I can point out.

The first is, most obviously, misinformation. A large portion of the novel reader base has not read Arcs 1-4 in the LN and has very warped views of some of the characters in that section of the story. Ferris is just the most blatant example.

I can't count the number of times I've heard people just blatantly lie about or exaggerate what Ferris did in Arc 3. From the "mana bomb" that has LITERALLY no basis in the text to the "brainwashing" scene treated as a comedy bit that is exaggerated to hell, people go out of their way to interpret him in the worst light possible.

Many of the people who haven't read those sections then see Ferris's ribbing of Subaru in Arc 5 and then run with those pieces of misinformation; spreading it to the point that many believe some blatant lies to be fact.

The second is simply that a lot of people in the fandom don't read the side stories. I don't particularly blame a lot of these people, as there is a lot to get through, but there are a lot of people who take advantage of this for...certain reasons.

This leads to the third point...shipping. Ferris suffers from "Die for our ship" syndrome (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DieForOurShip…). A lot of people like Crusch x Subaru and Crusch loves Ferris so that ends up being more than enough for some people to hate him.

That's not representative of even close to every Crusch x Subaru shipper, of course, it's just a notable trend that it's hard to pretend doesn't exist with some of them.

All of these factors often go hand-in-hand with the final factor: the fandom's immense double standards when it comes to certain characters.

I'm not going to go into deep detail with this as it would distract from the main point of the thread...but you know what I mean if you've interacted with the community for a significant period of time. It also doesn't help that many of the same people in this category tend to be incredibly bigoted.

Ferris isn't the only character subjected to these double standards, as characters like Emilia and Ram often face similar purposeful misinterpretations, but his frequently unfair critiques have affected his reputation negatively perhaps more than any other.

This isn't to say that this is all true for everyone who hates Ferris. There are numerous reasons you may just not be interested in his character.

However, I feel it's dishonest to pretend Ferris isn't often targeted far more than other characters for often lacking reasons.

With that out of the way, I can move on to the last thing I wanted to cover in this thread. I have established a lot here, so I want to speculate about the future.

From this point forward there are unmarked Arc 8 spoilers, so...you can't argue I wasn't careful. I don't blame you at all for leaving now and I thank you for reading my ramblings.

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Are you still here? Ok, let's start.

With all of the above established, I want to return to the question of where Ferris' arc will go in the future. My belief? I think it will be something similar to what Pre-Amnesia Crusch has already realized, with Felix’s closest parallel in Subaru being close to doing the same.

Crusch, as I mentioned before, has found balance in the two aspects of her life. Throughout the story, she switches seamlessly between the two without a second thought. She is comfortable and happy with both parts of herself.

Subaru is also on a similar path. He feels most comfortable in embracing his feminine side, idealizing it through Natsumi. All his confidence is channeled into that persona, while the other two aspects of his personality (his main self who has all the self-worth of an abandoned puppy and his child self who is representative of his more masculine traits) are imbalanced.

Arc 8 seems to be going in a direction where he realizes how important all of these aspects of him are. All 3 have flaws. None of them are "complete," just pieces of the coherent whole that is Natsuki Subaru.

I believe a similar thing will happen with Ferris.

He will need to find a balance between Ferris, his feminine side that has defined him for so long, and Felix the masculine identity he craves. He needs to find a role that makes him as happy as Crusch was, accepting who he is while striving to become who he wants to be.

I don't expect that to be easy though. In fact, I think the path to get there will be immensely messy and self-destructive.

The idea of Ferris having a breakdown or lashing out has been well-foreshadowed throughout the story. He has had numerous smaller outbursts and has displayed similar problems to Arc 3 Subaru when pushed to an extreme. There's a large amount of toxicity in him that will rush out, sooner or later. It will likely take similar levels of suffering to force him to get a grip, possibly hurting Crusch in the process.

Who do I believe to be the trigger for this? My best guess is Capella.

It is quite possible Capella freed Sphinx and recreated her arms initially. Why would she do this? Why not? We're seeing firsthand how much of a monster Sphinx can be with the Sacrament of the Immortal King. Why wouldn't someone like Capella want something like that under her control?

Of course, Sphinx is almost certainly dying soon. Capella will need a replacement, and who's the only other potential user of the Sacrament? Ferris.

There's also the idea that Capella may have poisoned the Royal Family and, most importantly, Fourier. If Capella does become the main antagonist for Ferris, that could serve as motivation for him to want her dead regardless of his own reservations about killing.

Adding onto this is the fact that shapeshifting is a power with a long history of being associated with identity issues. Tappei likes making his antagonists strong narrative foils to his protagonists, so it would be interesting to contrast Ferris' identity issues with the potentially strong identity issues of Capella.

Finally, there's a lot of potential for her tragic past to parallel Ferris' past, with many implications that the Royal Family may not exactly have treated Emerada the best. The idea that the Royal Family may have locked her away is not implausible and it could make their connections even stronger.

Whatever that breakdown leads to, I expect Crusch and/or Subaru to be the one who snaps him out of it. This will likely be the catalyst that forces Ferris to find a balance. He'll need to let go of things like his self-blame over being unable to help Fourier, his internalized hatred of his current identity, his idealization of Crusch, and his need to save everyone. Ferris's love will finally allow him to grow and change into a person who is the middle ground between his desires and his true self.

After all, that's what Re: Zero is truly about: love and growth. Almost every character reflects this and, if my interpretation of Ferris is right, he could embody that theme just as much as Subaru himself does.

He could be a shining bastion of what this story is all about.

Of course, this is all just my interpretation and speculation. If you disagree with it, feel free to. I just hope I was able to make you appreciate Ferris a bit more/changed your mind on how much potential his character has.

I wish whoever is reading this a nice day!

[starlitprism]

GMing and Cooperation

So you're probably thinking "oh like a tabletop game. Cooperating. Telling a story together" and you're right! Sorta. We're getting more specific than that. I am going to start by posing a question. When does character creation end? Does it ever? Does it have to? Should it?

I don't know about most people but I am one of the people in my friend's group who is almost always the GM of her group. I like GMing. I love telling a story. I also sometimes want to let loose and not have to craft something from the ether for several others... but not completely.

See, I have a GM's love of creation and that means I have a really hard time, well, not creating. So I talk with my GM (another forever GM) and go over thing after thing after thing proposing ideas, giving my thoughts, sharing my character's current state of mind, and possible ways to take the character in the future. We're in near constant dialogue at least insofar as in between each session I bring up the character at least once or twice.

And some of you might ask why? Don't I want mystery? Don't I want to be surprised? YES. I live for it actually. Curiosity is one of my primary motivators as a player. Few things will invest me more than a mystery to delve into (the other way being excessive emotional and consensual stabbings of myself during the game in the form of shit happening to or around my character). And this need not get rid of ALL mystery! The other reason being I literally told my GM to "make me bleed" and then point out the various ways she could emotionally stab my character and myself. It's very helpful

Not all GMs want to talk this much I imagine. To have a player so involved but I want to advocate for it anyway. It's a cooperation between the player and the GM to craft a story. Maybe you don't know the ending but sometimes it's ok to know a few story beats. It removes some of the pressure from the game master or whatever your term is and instead, you give something to them. A tool. An outline. Jolly cooperation at its best.

Hell, most recently my character started planning for a party for example (see here: https://www.tumblr.com/starlitprism/757035153048715264/me-to-my-gm-ok-my-character-is-prepping-for?source=share )

Now I could have left this stuff up to the GM but I didn't. I came back with a party playlist, party games (mechanics included), and a guest list. I largely just built it all for her. Because my character was making it. Why shouldn't it have my touch all over the damn thing? PLUS it let said GM focus on my oncoming possible demise (and the demise of the multiverse. Not my fault). I admit this blog post is less an argument for this as much as examples of it working but I wanted to write it anyway as a sort of recommendation to try it. To talk to whoever is running your game and ask them "do you want to work together?" It will make it easier on them and will let you have more say assuming it is agreed upon.

A tabletop game is not somewhere where one person runs the show and the rest are there to passively watch. No. It's collaborative storytelling. So why not collaborate? And who knows, maybe you'll bottle some lightning together

And no I don't expect this to be entirely new. I just want to share something that has brought me SO much joy for so long.

[atla-confessions]

"The fact Azula was getting her ass handed to her by Katara in the book 2 finale until Zuko intervened 💀"...

...Does make sense when you do the following:

Consider that the goal behind this specific showdown here wasn't intended to serve Katara's or Azula's bending development, but yet another happening of Zuko's Hijacking of Other Characters Developments because it was cut off the moment it started by the fight between him and Aang and when the focus on it was back, it was played as, "Oh, look how Zuko betrayed Katara after the emotional discussion they had by joining his sister and attacking her, Oh", instead of, y'know, actually having the fight be about Azula and Katara and letting it be real and logical and letting us actually SEE them fight realistically.

Notice that the writing and choreography of the fight does a disservice to both characters' characterization and abilities but more specifically Azula because there's a literal moment where she's standing and waiting for Katara to hit her with a an attack that seems so weak, another moment (when the camera shifts back to them after the ZukovsAang fight) where she's standing up Slowly and then turns her back to Katara?. That's a wild turn of characterization and bad writing/choreography at work here. What's even more confusing is that the moment the story had its Zuko Hijack Moment, Azula is immediately written back into her normal self as we've come to know her when she goes against Aang. Agile, nimble and powerful. And guess what, she beats Aang, who is in that moment and state, a more powerful and better fighter with his three elements where he is a master at one, extremely proficient at the second and novice at the third than Katara who is master of one element. Doesn't make sense for Azula to lose against Katara in this logic right?

The fight had a secondary goal which is to serve Katara's development as a bender and to allude to her future as the one that will defeat Azula in the end. Kind of insulting right, considering it should have been the primary goal(they wouldn't have cut off the showdown the moment it started and we would've gotten an actual fight that would give valid reason for Azula and Katara Stans to be on each other's neck like they often are when it comes to bending), but nope, they had to resort to bad writing by toning down Azula to make it seem that Katara is besting her, instead of, actually having Katara fighting her in her normal characterization and really putting some pressure? Would've done wonders for me personally because I love both characters and felt cheated with this "showdown" I got.

So, yeah, anon. Sorry for the rambling but whenever I see posts like yours that simplify what happened, I get a bit irritated.

X

[a-devout-shannonite]

So I got to go to the event in Nashville last night with Samantha Shannon like I said and it was amazing I still can’t believe it happened and I’ll never forget it. And I put together some notes today from her discussion and Q&A about her writing methods and the world of The Roots of Chaos. I couldn’t remember everything, but I put together a lot of interesting/funny things she said last night that I could remember so I could share them with you all. And if you’re worried about spoilers, I will say that she didn’t share any spoilers last night that wouldn’t already be known to people who have read The Priory, though she did discuss the characters a little and a few themes of the book. So for anyone interested, here’s the notes I’ve put together!

- Shared a long discussion on drawing inspiration from St. George and the Dragon and its several retellings and the changes the Anglican faith made to enforce their colonialism and crusades (the story itself is incredibly fascinating and I don’t remember the title of the specific retelling she said she drew from in particular, but it was really cool to see just how much inspiration she drew from it)

- Many fun remarks on how St. George was awful and England sucks

- Direct quote from Samantha, talking about St. George: “Men” (derogatory)

- On creating this popular fantasy and her thoughts on the typical cishet white male dominated world of fantasy: she wasn’t creating it to challenge them exactly, but to offer something for the people who are often underrepresented in fantasy, to give them a book where they are the prominent features rather than the typical white male hero, wanted to create something where she felt she represented herself

- On giving multiple examples of motherhood in A Day of Fallen Night: she said that she thought she had given motherhood a small place in The Priory, but she wanted to really create a large space for it within ADOFN, said that growing up she always felt pressured by society that her role as a woman was to have children, and that she was never interested even when she was young, said she kept waiting for the switch to activate where she’d want to get married and be a mother but it never did (cue fun anecdote on how now she knows she’s gay so that explained quite a lot), wanted to show multiple different perspectives of motherhood within ADOFN and different methods of raising a child

- On writing ADOFN and getting the chance to work with this cast of characters: said that getting to write Glorian was her way of reconnecting with her childhood self, Dumai was also exciting for her as Dumai is the same age at the start of the book as she was when she first started writing it, Tunuva in particular was very interesting to her to represent a middle-aged woman in a long established relationship to present a counterpoint to the typical idea in fantasy where the story ends for the protagonist when they are young, she wanted to show with Tunuva that it does continue past that, and also that she wanted to make a character at this age in part for her mother, who said she felt as though she was seeing herself disappear in movies and stories as she grew older and the characters all stayed young, also mentioned that initially Esbar was planned to be a primary narrator instead of Tunuva, but Samantha felt that Tunuva would be more fresh as a character given she’s more the quiet introvert whereas Esbar is a sort of typical protagonist style, bold, outspoken, and a leader (and no spoilers, but an additional note on a character in the book; said she enjoyed writing this character realize they were gay as it felt similar to her experience; called herself as well as the character in question both “useless gays”)

- When asked about how she keeps/organizes her notes on worldbuilding, she responded that she in fact very rarely takes notes and just knows her world by memory (much to the shock of the entire audience)

- On what first inspired her love of dragons: the movie Dragonheart in the 90s, which she watched so many times as a child she could recite it word for word and once brought a tape recorder to the theater to record the audio for when she couldn’t watch it, went to see it for her 6th birthday

- Said that one of her weaknesses is numbers, she cannot keep track of the logistics in her books, (for example, if you asked how big the Abyss was, she wouldn’t know), and she mentioned that Isalarico IV Vetalda, mentioned in ADOFN, should actually be Isalarico II Vetalda

- Said she really enjoys writing books with loose ends, cliffhangers, or bittersweet endings (she apologized for this), shared anecdote of a US editor calling her a day before it went to print completely confused about Tané’s last chapter and very concerned she was actually dead at the end

- Told her editor initially The Priory would be a standalone and she wouldn’t write any more stories in the universe, editor didn’t believe her, he was right

- Her schedule of books to write at the moment is to finish the Bone Season 5 draft, research and start her Greek mythology retelling of the goddess Isis, begin work on Bone Season 6, and then start another Roots of Chaos book which she’s already sold to her publisher

- Next Roots of Chaos book hasn’t been decided yet, will either cover the events following ADOFN, in which the sterren becomes chaotic after the siden withdraws and creates a sort of ice age, or she will write the story of Kalyba, Cleolind, and Neporo (she says she’s aware that the latter is the more popular choice among her readers)

[k00ps]

(Spoilers for Taxi Driver Season 2)

I meant to post this when I initially finished the show, but I had some issues with Taxi Driver 2 (the kdrama).

It very much seemed like a cash grab compared to the first season and you can tell based on the writing, the characters, the predictable storylines, and don’t even get me started on that random lady who showed up at the end of the show just to save the Rainbow Crew.

But anyways what I want to address is On Ha Joon and his character arc. What it was and how it could’ve been better.

On Ha Joon was by far the most interesting character of that season. He most definitely snatched the spotlight from the other characters on several occasions. He was probably the only character who had any real significant personal change.

His character is a representation of one of the themes that Taxi Driver highlighted the whole show: found family. His experience with the cult and Father is a reflection of Kim Do Gi and his loving found family with the Rainbow Crew. This is consistently shown through the loving, fun, and compassionate nature of the Rainbow Crew, vs the distant relationships based on power, material gain, and fear of the cult family.

I feel Ha Joon’s arc was okay, but had so much potential to be better. Like the setup was right there, so I want to walk through some parts of the show and what I would change.

Ha Joon’s introduction is through his infiltration of the taxi job. He is initially presented as naive, innocent, kind, hard-working, enthusiastic, and attentive. However it is soon revealed to be that he is simply someone who can easily put up a facade. Someone who is cold and calculating, but has the capacity to lose his cool and respond with rage. As the show progresses, he becomes more and more violent and frustrated, willing to take extreme measures to remove anything he feels is in his way. He already knows who the Rainbow Crew are as he’s already done quite a bit of research into them. This is all for the sake of entertainment, but also because they could pose a future problem.

Now I *thought* they would go down the route of having Ha Joon experience what true family feels like, through his interaction with Mr. Jang actually caring about his well-being. He even expressed interested “befriending” Do Gi. However, I guess the writers decided to double down on his role as primary antagonist, because Ha Joon completely rejected these ideas of connection to remain fixed on his current way of life and appeal of Father. I would scrap this.

Instead, I think Ha Joon should have had individual bonding moments with every character of the Rainbow Crew, in addition to group outings. Each interaction would chip away at his idea of what a family is and make him question the dynamic he has in the cult. As he spends more and more time with them, his affinity for them would grow, so much so that he might not even want to harm them anymore. This would even be a good place for him to learn about Kim Do Gi’s fatal flaw (the whistle) through Do Gi being vulnerable, instead of him just breaking into the house and seeing it. Kim Do Gi would now have someone new he can be vulnerable with after so long, looking at Ha Joon as a little brother figure.

Then, as the Rainbow Crew continues to ruin the cult members’ enterprises, the stakes would increase as Father’s frustration increases. This would further put pressure on Ha Joon because he would be put in a position where he has to ruin the people who treated him with love and acceptance, or else be faced with dire consequences.

In addition to this, instead of giving the audience suspense bait through Ha Joon *almost* discovering the Rainbow Cave, I would make him actually discover it. This would *force* the Rainbow Crew to be honest with him, and after some cautious deliberation and arguing, they would be fully transparent. They could even use this moment to make Do Gi a little suspicious of how much Ha Joon actually knows until it’s fully revealed that he is apart of the cult.

Now we move forward to Ha Joon being pressed by Father to the point of “killing” Do Gi. Now instead of parading Ha Joon around like a proud villain, they could use this moment to reveal just how much he cherished his moments with them. The decision he made ended someone’s life and that someone was a person he cared about. Someone he looked up to. In addition to leaving his job at the taxi company having “completed” his mission, the subtext of the scene is that he is also leaving because the guilt of staying is too great. As the cult and Father relish in the happiness of having defeated the problem, he stands there in agony. This agony channels itself into frustration and mild forms of self destruction that get worse as the Black Sun arc progresses. This way, when things go to shit, there is *more* of a reason to blame Ha Joon, because everyone has noticed the obvious changes in his behavior.

At the same time, the Rainbow Crew, and specifically Do Gi, suffer from Ha Joon’s betrayal. They realize Ha Joon is an enemy, and sulk in the fact they let someone like him in. Do Gi especially takes this personally. This would make the reunion at Black Sun be more impactful, because not only would Ha Joon essentially feel relieved that Do Gi is alive, but now Do Gi is forced to treat him like every other villain. There’s is a lot more emotion tied into the scene than before.

Ofc atp the Rainbow Crew still doesn’t know about Father, so they don’t know that Ha Joon’s action are primarily caused from that, though this fact doesn’t remove blame. When they discover this, they feel some sort of sympathy for Ha Joon, but they do not forgive him. This does however, give *more* of a reason for Mr. Jang to do his research on Ha Joon’s past, thus that part of the show remains the same.

The story can also utilize the fact that Ha Joon knows the Rainbow Crew’s base, but is deliberately not mentioning it.

Regardless, we press on with the Prison Arc, the Rainbow Crew getting snatched and Do Gi becoming trapped.

This is where I would add another large change. Ha Joon manipulates the prison cages, but instead of doing it with glee, you can visibly see the internal struggle of having to do this to Do Gi. The warden is a reflection of the audience in this scene, because he can clearly see this struggle while standing in the room. The external struggle of Do Gi fighting, and the internal struggle of Ha Joon and his decisions. When Do Gi reaches the room and reveals the villainous plans were foiled, the culmination of all this internal struggle manifests through Ha Joon pulling the gun on him.. however, he is ultimately unable to pull the trigger. The power of the loving found family peeks its head out, then this theme is further exemplified through Father punishing and essentially removing Ha Joon from the cult.

He is now put in a position of isolation due to his failures, but the subtext is this situation is really due to his inability to commit to either family. Just like the original, he is shunned as the cult members turn their backs on him and Father rejects him. His family that he has known for so long no longer wants or needs him, and in a last act of desperation, he gives Father knowledge of Do Gi’s fatal flaw. Not only would this appeal to Father, but it would also make Father wonder why Ha Joon never used it to begin with.

We continue with the scene of Mr. Jang meeting with Ha Joon and telling him his past. This is a breakthrough turning point for him, as the realization of him being kidnapped and then manipulated to kill his own father would shatter his perception of the cult as his found family. Him killing his own father would be a reflection of him “killing” Do Gi, essentially showing he made the mistake of killing family who loved and supported him not once, but twice. This would firmly push him to the side of the Rainbow Crew, but they would not overtly say this just yet.

We move forward to when the entirety of the Rainbow Crew is captured and about to die. Father looks upon them and laughs, while Ha Joon stands on the side watching one family dominate the other. He is now faced with one last decision that will decide the fate of both of his found families. At the 11th hour, Ha Joon, unable to deny his feelings any longer, would somehow save the Rainbow crew, standing up to Father, and choosing love over power/fear. Do Gi and the others watch as someone they gave all their support to stands up for *them* rather than the other way around. The writers could still have him die in the process if they so choose, essentially having him sacrifice himself for this new found family. He could also use this moment to *choose* to use his original name, with the Rainbow Crew validating him by calling him as such. This would solidify the theme of the power of a found family’s love and what a true found family looks like.

I feel this ending would eliminate the need to have that random lady from Japan save them. It would also require the deletion of that last little showdown between Do Gi and Ha Joon, but that’s the price I’m willing to pay.

Ha Joon was my fav character and I feel he deserved so much better. These changes would present him as a conflicted character, forced to bounce between two families with heavily contrasting dynamics. As his internal struggles grow, so do the consequences of his actions, until he is finally pushed to fight for a family that truly loves him rather than one that uses and manipulates him.

[slippery-domjot-balls]

DS9 S4 E15 Sons of Mogh - Slippy Analysis

An excellent episode depicting Worf's character growth as it explores the struggles of a Klingon navigating cultures in conflict. There is a lot that could be said about this episode, but I am only writing down one specific piece of the episode.

The episode begins with sparring, a fitting start to an episode showcasing two schools of thought battling within Worf.

Jadzia is the perfect choice to pair with Worf. Jadzia is the link Worf needs to bridge the gap between Klingon culture and a life he can claim as his own. She is knowledgeable of Klingon culture enough to be able to help him. He is struggling in world split between his ethnic heritage and the culture of his chosen professional circle. Regardless of that, she has developing feelings for him. We see that spark between them in this scene. That will be a primary factor that helps heal him in the long-run.

Worf is duty bound to serve these conflicting beliefs. With time and practice he will eventually become an amalgamation of Federation and Klingon principles that fit him.

Jadzia is just cute, plain and simple.

The main plot is about Worf mercy killing his brother Pop-Kurn, but the symbolism of this act is what matters for Worf. The significance of providing assisted suicide (medically assisted dying or as Klingon's would call it "being the D'k'tahg Dude", no it is actually called Hegh'bat) is a great exploration of ethics, but let's move past that.

In S4 E01 and E02 The Way of the Warrior, Worf chooses to side with the Federation instead of the Klingon Empire. As a consequence of his actions his family house is ruined. Family honor and societal position is voided. Worf is left only with the Federation. He made a choice, but the consequences of that action trapped his personal growth. He felt the Federation was all he had left and he was technically right. He felt lost to his Klingon roots.

Kurn shows up and figuratively corners Worf into killing off another piece of his Klingon family. Further alienating him from what he feels it means to be Klingon.

He seeks balance between who he has become as a Starfleet officer and who he wishes to be as a Klingon. He struggles to match the imbalance between those two identities. Kurn actually helps free him from the struggle so Worf can redefine his identity in his own terms, marry the two, and stand with honor as a Klingon Starfleet officer. Worf now needs to continue this growth to be his own Klingon.

By killing Kurn (even unsuccessfully), Worf now sees how dishonorable some Klingon principles can be. There is no honor in death for the sake of death itself, especially when someone's potential is traded for socially perceived honor. It encouraged him to set higher standards within himself.

Let's pretend that you were raised in a very strict culture with rigidly defined values and were told that this is how all things should be, unchangingly so, and you were not allowed alternatives. As an adult you were then provided a choice to adhere to those traditions, reject them all, or fashion a life mixed with the principles you respected with new ones you discover in adulthood. This is Worf's journey.

He loves his heritage. He respects his heritage. However, he is feeling the pains of growth that his heritage conflicts with. In this episode Worf begins to really understand that he is Klingon based on his own values and not what others set for him.

He is capable of growth because he can objectively evaluate the cultural mold he was placed in. He is wise because he recognizes the merit of that culture and then tailored it to fit his heart and mind.

He is a true Klingon. A warrior for his own spirit.

At the end of the episode Jadzia is with him for emotional support. She helps Worf stand strong on the road he must pave for himself. She is the conduit that he needs to develop.

We all need a Jadzia. We all face societal pressures that tell us who we should be. Some of these become internal voices constantly nagging at us. Sometimes we fabricate these voices ourselves without an external source (like when you beat yourself up over your own art or when you tear yourself down, now go post some of your OC and write a fic!!!).

Be a true Klingon. Be your own person. At times you can even be your own Jadzia.

Now take your forehead smooch and listen to some Cardassian Grunge music, album forthcoming.

[ipsen]

"Go on. Ask" is the most lovely and slightly intimidating ask box title I have ever seen and I'm happy to have a chance to mention it now ALRIGHT 1, 4, 10, 14 for etoken and 15. Hopefully that's not too many, I love hearing your thoughts.

I came up with it last second! I was gonna go with an egregious misspelling of "question" but remembered that English is the most cursed language on the planet and chose something else.

ALRIGHT LET'S DO THIS. AFTER A READ MORE.

Character ramble: Eto

Wouldn't do anyone else.

This fucking bitch. Love her so much. She writes about tragedy, about loneliness, about being barred from the thing you want most. Each thing she has written, even the comedies, is the only window into her soul that anyone will ever get.

She inflicts suffering on the people who remind her of herself too much. People who are weak, angry, and down on their luck. And glass mirrors are so easy to shatter. So, like what she wants deep down (imo), she "saves" them. She sews suffering onto their skin, either with her words or literally sewing onto them.

She founded Aogiri, a militant ghoul organization that got tons of people killed, including its own members. It is responsible for so much violence and suffering in the world, barely putting itself above the likes of the CCG by never directly targeting civilians.

And yet, in the muck of sadness and sorrow and bloodshed, there are little glimmers of love and light to her. Little diamonds created from the pressure created by the corpses at her feet. Let's see:

Aogiri housing children is something that can easily go over your head. Is it ideal? No, but they are protected by some of the strongest ghouls in Tokyo, which is the primary objective. Can't have a world for ghouls without ghoul children to live past the adults.

She values life. It's actually one of the first things we learn about her, when she asks Tatara how many lost their lives in the 11th ward after the original Aogiri arc. She hates wasteful, purposeless death, which is the primary thing she is fighting against.

She is cruel to people who remind her of her, but there's a caveat to this. She is cruel to people who remind her of her who are also liars. Take Nashiro and Kurona, for instance, who are convinced they're Awesome because of their kagune and their survival of Kanou's process. They are not special, and Eto is aware of this, so she berates them for it, showcasing her overwhelming strength and cutting their delusions to pieces in a few short minutes. Cut to Hinami, who is very similar to Eto (orphan with every reason to hate the CCG). But Hinami doesn't lie to herself; she knows she weak and has to get stronger. And who is Eto to deny her the chance?

She has every reason to want to destroy everything. It's something Haise catches when he describes her writing: this desire to break it all. But that's not what she's doing. Because if she did, she wouldn't exist in the narrative; she would have died a long time ago. But instead, she's fighting against a system that works fueled off of people like her. To add to that, she wants "a world for ghouls" despite everything. To that end, she'd give her entire life and legacy for that world, one way or another.

One of the angriest, saddest, most self-hating characters in the TG's universe fights out of love.

4. What character do you (the asker) remind me of?

You are this strange amalgamation of Takizawa (profile), Furuta (your Content), and a sprinkle of Koori Ui (by assocation with Furuta). There is an understanding here.

I don't have anything else to add.

10. Hypothetical ghoul quinque

Lemme just remind myself of every single ghoul kagune in the series, no biggie...

Aha! Banjou. Why? Because he heals. Quinques are only ever seen inflicting copious amounts of violence on whoever or whatever is standing on the other side. Let me see some support roles!

And imagine the legendary "Healer Quinque". The advancement in medicine... Don't need iPS cells from no stupid "Dragon" kakuja. The answer's right in front of you!! Shinohara would've woken up in two weeks, I'm telling you.

14. EtoKen song

Fall Out Boy's "Just One Yesterday" is an absolute delight for the two of them. The lyrics are a wondrous mix of lost love, self-awareness of toxicity and self-hatred, and just hatred (which is just more self-hatred tbh) toward the other in general, with a healthy edge of violence that Tokyo Ghoul is famous for.

Also, it's a duet, and they're singing about the same thing. Also, I love duets.

Favorite lyrics from the song include:

If I spilled my guts The world would never look at you the same way And now I'm here to give you all of my love So I can watch your face as I take it all away

(sound familiar?)

I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way

(SOUND FAMILIAR??? The chorus is particularly good for them)

I don't have the right name or the right looks But I have twice the heart

(it's this specific tittering on the line (i love you, but i really fucking hate myself, but I see myself in you?) between hatred and love that defines the ship)

15. Favorite manga panel

NOT TO BE COMPLETELY FUCKING PREDICTABLE BUT!!!

This panel. Drives me insane. Every single time. It altered my brain chemistry in the best way possible. TWICE. Once when it premiered, and again when I reread this whole series on a whim. This is the most gentle/intimate Eto will ever be with someone, and he doesn't even give a shit. It's the perfect encapsulation of her entire life, in three short panels.

As for the original TG:

This was the wildest fucking thing when it premiered. I lost my goddamn mind at this chapter.

OKAY SO I'M GONNA BREAK IT DOWN.

There's three (3? III.) meanings behind this WILD dialogue. It's a fakeout is the obvious one, and the second meaning is that it's actually metaphorical while being pseudo-literal.

But the THIRD meaning is theory territory. As always, I gotta bring up my favorite little sweetheart, Eto. She was Arima's original quinque; her being the original candidate for OEK makes way too much sense, and here, Arima is officially putting this new toy (Kaneki) on trial to be a replacement. This later comes full circle when Kaneki breaks the Owl quinque and solidifies his position.

STORYTELLING IS AWESOME DON'T YOU THINK?

WHEW. What a loaded post. Thanks for asking!

[hamliet]

Would you call Aemond a victim of sexual assault?

Filed under "too complicated for tumblr." It's also not in the books. But...

So, I'm just going to be honest. My honest answer would be "that's not my primary interpretation, but it's complicated and I can see why people interpret it that way."

To what degree we can apply current ethics to a medieval fantasy has been a topic of discussion for decades with ASOIAF (and other works). To be clear, we can apply it, but what purpose does that serve our understanding of the story or characters? And that's a question that has a different answer according to each person.

13 years old=almost certainly assault by today's standards. Yikes, yikes, yikes. However, by Westerosi ethics, that's not really the case--13 year olds do have sex, and happily (Tyrion and Tysha). However, Tyrion and Tysha were around the same age, and we don't have any information on that aspect for Aemond. The prostitute who told him he was older now looked about his current age to me, and the brothels they visit and see Gaemon in does have underage people working there, and that was horrifying. So to what degree fans are able to think about the modern ethics and ethics of that world and how people want to interpret it is up to them.

Regarding power... I looked up some discussion around this topic before writing this answer, and I will state that yes, as a prince having sex with a prostitute in a misogynistic world, he has a lot more power than she does, presumably. However, that doesn't inherently mean he couldn't've been assaulted, as specific situations do arise like pressure, and if Aegon told a prostitute she had to have sex with his brother--but there are, admittedly, just a lot of ifs there.

Martin has addressed male assault a few times in his works, with specific framing. Lancel, for instance, was taken advantage of by Cersei, and Martin does call it out specifically via Kevan expressing his horror at what Cersei did to his son.

“You think I care about a cup of wine? Lancel is my son, Cersei. Your own nephew. If I am angry with you, that is the cause. You should have looked after him, guided him, found him a likely girl of good family. Instead you—"

Satin is underage and a well-known prostitute, so that's assault by modern standards and frankly by theirs as well since we've seen prostitutes in Westeros have little choice. So it does exist, and I don't think the power issue is necessarily a good argument for this instance.

For Aemond, it doesn't appear to have been a very happy experience. That does not automatically indicate assault, though--people do have regrets, specifically around the first time--be it because they chose to just "get it over with," or it didn't exactly live up to expectations, or it was weirdly painful. Point is, there are lots of reasons people have sexual regrets that aren't inherently assault. We grow older and look back and are like, hm, not a good decision. As I do think Aemond is primarily characterized by wanting love but with no more understanding of what love is than a stone (until Alys Rivers), I actually find this idea--regret after just doing it "because"--an interesting interpretation of the details given in the scene. He sees love as duty, so may have just decided to get it over with and make everyone happy.

Anyways, my honest answer is "I don't know" and that I think in terms of character, there are more interesting questions to explore.

[laracruzs]

{ BRUNA MARQUEZINE, 20, CIS-FEMALE, SHE/HER } Is that LARA CRUZ? A JUNIOR originally from MIAMA, FL, they decided to come to Ogden College to study JOURNALISM. They’re THE PRISS on campus, but even they could get blamed for Greer’s disappearance.

CHARACTER STATS:

BIRTHDAY: 6 August 2001

ZODIAC: ☼ Leo ☾ Pisces ↑ Cancer

THREE POSITIVE TRAITS: Tenacious, Sympathetic, Clever.

THREE NEGATIVE TRAITS: Perfectionist, Impressionable, Impatient.

THREE SKILLS: Dancing, Writing, Gymnastics.

CHARACTER INSPIRATIONS: Nancy Wheeler (Stranger Things), Elena Gilbert (The Vampire Diaries), Maid Marian (Robin Hood), Annie January (The Boys), Kala Dandekar (Sense8), Fleur Delacour (Harry Potter), Katara (Avatar: The Last Airbender), Clara Oswald (Doctor Who), Willow Rosenberg (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Monica Geller (Friends), Elizabeth Swann (Pirates of the Caribbean), Triss Merigold (The Witcher).

MBTI: ENFJ

EIGHT TV TROPES: Academic Athlete, Class Princess, Go-Getter Girl, Intrepid Reporter, Survivor's Guilt, Sweater Girl, Took a Level in Kindness, Uptown Girl

PINTEREST: here.

BASIC INFORMATION

LANGUAGE(S): English, Portuguese, Spanish (and the ability to understand other Iberian Romance languages).

GENDER & PRONOUNS: She/Her

SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Bisexual. 

RELIGION: Grandparents are Christians - however, Lara's parents are considered non-practicing. Lara shares similar beliefs.

POLITICAL AFFILIATION: Socialism.

MAJOR: Journalism.

EXTRACURRICULARS: Cheer captain, member of the ballet company and editor of the school paper.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

HEIGHT: 5′4″

EYE COLOUR: Dark brown.

HAIR COLOUR + STYLE: Also dark brown, curly, long (several inches below the collarbone).

TATTOO(S): N/A.

SCAR(S): A thin scar across her shoulder.

PIERCING(S): N/A.

GLASSES: N/A.

CLOTHING STYLE: Lara prefers a combination of comfort and style - typical outfits can be found here.

NOTES

- RELATIONSHIP TO GREER: Greer and Lara were close in all the ways in which wolves run in the same packs. There was a time in which Lara would have once considered the older Morrison to be a friend, a confidante of sorts. However, Lara’s unresolved trauma still plagues her, often rearing its head in moments when she is alone - or inebriated, whichever moment she feels stuck underwater. Unfortunately for her, her lifebuoy in one given scenario harboured an undeclared crush on Greer. This feeling, whilst equally unknown, was reciprocated. In a pathetic, heavy-hearted stupor, the two shared a kiss. A meaningless, dejected kiss. Lara desperate to find the hope a drunk can find at the bottom of a bottle. Instead, it unfolded quickly, escalating beyond what Lara could’ve expected. Greer nursed a tumultuous rage. A wrath Lara had only ever witnessed, never quite experiencing. As such, Greer lashed out, attempting to push her further down the social ladder through the acts of her ‘henchmen’. Whether it be branding Lara’s locker with derogatory terms, sabotaging her grades or hindering her extracurricular performance, they all amounted to a cause for Lara to be the culprit of the disappearance.

- FAMILY: Mother and father met during high school and have been sweethearts ever since. Exceptionally wealthy. Typical 'cereal box' family - white picket fence, appear exceptionally happy on the outside. Too much of a fairytale that anyone in a similar situation would be able to see straight through the cracks. Unfortunately, they place a lot of pressure - too much, at times - on their children (Lara has a brother) and have frequently forced Lara to live her life by a check-list. High achiever, equally high achieving boyfriends, primary focus on her studies and if anything hinders said success then it must be dropped immediately (including relationships). If she's not the best, her family will ensure she's continuously reminded of her failures until she does become the best.

- SURVIVOR'S GUILT: (tw car accident) this is a secret to her peers, though it's not detrimental to her motive so I can reveal it. There is a Miami news article which continues to haunt her to this very day. Prior to moving to Ogden and not long after Kian’s vanishing act, Lara was involved in a car accident with a group of their friends. The incident claimed the lives of four of them, leaving Lara wracked with survivor’s guilt. She now has a scar situated across her shoulder and isn't the most forthcoming about its cause.

- THE PRISS: The priss is a product of how she is perceived as opposed to her inner thoughts and feelings. She is spoiled in all the ways a child of the wealthy is expected to be; a car in exchange for a moment of success, neglect for a moment of failure. It was never much of a surprise that she would cling to the former, desperate to succeed in her studies and extracurriculars. What was most concerning, however, was just how much Lara would clench this rope. The fibres burning her palms overtime. This pressure which contained her, squashing her into a miniscule box, would eventually entail finding ways to better her performance. Cutting off those who could hinder her performance, taking Adderall to study into the dead of night or practicing routines until her bones ached were typically her poison of choice. Though far from the truth, this obsession has occasionally left onlookers to view Lara as a peer who believes she is far above others. As conceited and fussy as those in her usual social circles. Only those who desire to know her beyond first glance can discover how wrong this discernment actually is.

- WANTED CONNECTIONS: ex-relationships, future relationships, enemies, fellow journalists/cheerleaders/school paper peers, close squad, those who were a shoulder to lean on during Lara's descent from Greer's group of confidants, someone in need of an angel on their shoulder (she brings mostly good vibes i promise), frenemies, flirtationships, slow burns (i'm talking SLOW - give me longing glances across a room, other connections in between, the others certified hoco date/dance date just in case the other can't find one, probably made a future marriage pact for the lols but lowkey....sounds like a great idea), how to lose a guy in 10 days plot (lemme use her journalist talents), a friend of her brother (he's sporty but a LOT more laidback), someone from Miami and/or aware of the car accident, childhood sweethearts who drifted apart for whatever reason (maybe it was parental influence or Lara's academic determination/survivor guilt trauma).

[the-insomniac-emporium]

RE8 Ladies + Love Languages

While this isn't terribly long per character, I am putting it under a read-more for the combined length. Some characters have more details than others, partially due to how much I've written for them (and therefore had time to think about how they show their affections). For once the contents are not in alphabetical order. Crazy, right? PS there's a very, very brief implication of NSFW in Daniela's section.

Features the entire Dimitrescu family, Mother Miranda, Donna Beneviento, and as a lil bonus Ava.

Cassandra Dimitrescu:

Primary Love Language: Physical touch

Secondary Love Language: Acts of Service

Examples: Constantly wants to be touching some part of her lover, even if she sometimes pretends otherwise, from hand holding to making them sit in her lap. So goddamn touch starved. Preferably sleeps with her lover sprawled out on top of her, weighing her down, soothed by the constant pressure. Seriously, this woman needs someone to hold her as close as possible, running their fingers through her hair, pressing soft little kisses along her neck + shoulder. And then repeat. Every single day. For life.

Treating her lover’s wounds, or bringing them tea to soothe their nightmares, or monitoring their health when they're sick (see: Bound Blood + We Don’t Talk About That). Cassandra hates feeling like she owes someone, and isn’t fond of others owing her (because when they pay her back, she might end up owing them “the difference”). When it comes to love, however, all debts feel paid as soon as they are incurred. She does things for her beloved because she cares for them, expecting nothing in return. Sure, she’ll complain about the effort, but it doesn’t really bother her, and she truly hopes her lover knows that.

Mother Miranda:

Primary Love Language: Acts of Service

Secondary Love Language: Gift Giving

Examples: Despite the decades she has spent as a Goddess, commanding the willing masses, Miranda doesn’t put much emphasis on words. Instead, she values actions above all else. She doesn't care if someone says that they are devoted to her, she wants to see the effects of that devotion. In turn, she much prefers to show her affection rather than voice it, even if it leaves her lover less sure of her feelings. One must keep in mind that she is the leader of an entire region, and the fact that she chooses to personally take care of something for you means a hell of a lot. Even if it’s just making you a cup of tea whenever she brews some for herself, or something as big as setting up a studio for you and your personal projects, or simply ensuring that your favorite meals are added to the rotation.

Similar, in some aspects, to her preference to showcase her love rather than announce it, Miranda takes pride in her ability to select gifts. She remembers just about everything you ever tell her, easily memorizing things you express interest in. Though she won’t make a big deal out of it, you’ll often find little gifts from her lying around, casual reminders of how much of her attention is devoted to you.

Daniela Dimitrescu:

Primary Love Language: Words of Affirmation

Secondary Love Language: Physical Touch

Examples: What can she say, she loves to be worshipped. Having someone look at her with eyes full of adoration, one hand cupping her cheek, as they list a thousand reasons why they love her? That’s all she wants. Or sitting with her lover’s head in her lap, listening to them recite poetry that reminds them of her, while she runs her fingers through their hair. Ooh, or hearing them cry out her name like something holy as she all but buries her head between their legs. But don’t worry, she’s just as eager to return the favor, singing soft praises dedicated to her beloved. Admittedly, her compliments are sometimes a tad roundabout (so to speak).

“Mmm,” she’ll hum, “I’m the luckiest woman in the world. Living in a castle, my every need catered to, endless life, and, of course, the most darling little pet I could ever ask for. What more could I want?” Then she’ll pull her lover close, a kiss against their pulse point to claim them as her own. It’s impossible for her to determine her favorite place to touch her lover. There are little spots that elicit sweet sounds from them, then there are places where their warmth is a tad fiercer than normal, pure bliss against her own freezing skin. Wherever she touches them, it’s a silent declaration of her love.

Bela Dimitrescu:

Primary Love Language: Quality Time

Secondary Love Language: Words of Affirmation

Examples: It doesn’t matter what she does with her lover, as long as they are together, in the same room if not actively pressed against each other. Any hobby of theirs is one that she’ll instantly take interest in. An academic at heart, she loves to learn, regardless of the subject, and takes endless delight in learning from those close to her. There’s something incredible about the feeling she gets when she gets a chance to show her lover how much she remembers, and she sees that spark of joy in their eyes.

Considering her fondness for classical literature, it’s no surprise that she adores using language to convey the depths of her affection. Whether she’s quoting Sappho or Shakespeare, she often relies on dead poets to express herself. In turn, she cannot even begin to describe the feeling she gets when her lover returns the gesture, especially if they go so far as to write something original for her. More than once she’s tried to craft her own poetry, but has found herself lacking (at least to her own standards). One thing she enjoys is memorizing poetry written by someone from her lover’s home country, assuming that they’re not from Romania.

Alcina Dimitrescu:

Primary Love Language: Gift Giving/Physical Touch

Secondary Love Language: Quality Time

Examples: Considering the era in which she was born, it’s not terribly surprising that Alcina’s affection often manifests in less obvious ways. A hand on her lover’s back, guiding them along, or letting her knee touch theirs when they sit next to each other, or gently reaching out to give one of their hands a soft pat during quiet conversations. On top of that, she gives out gifts almost constantly. Oh, her lover very briefly mentioned enjoying a local artist? Well, Alcina will be certain to purchase several (or most) of their recent work. Did her beloved muse out loud about not having much jewelry? That won’t do! She’ll get them a large assortment, including plenty that bear the crest of House Dimitrescu. Everyone will know who her lover is, if only for the way that they are adorned with her loveliest finery.

Much like her eldest daughter (who likely takes after her mother), Alcina also enjoys the barest of interactions with her darling. With the endless stretch that is her potential lifespan, she knows that she has all the time in the world to learn new skills, or experience all that the village has to offer. Nothing warms her heart quite like the idea of getting to enjoy those things with the people that matter most to her- namely her partner and her children.

Donna Beneviento:

Primary Love Language: Quality Time

Secondary Love Language: Gift Giving

Examples: An odd mix of shy and calculating, Donna Beneviento is not one to rely on words, nor does she often take grand actions where others may observe. Instead, she works (and weaves) within the shadows. When it comes to love, she prefers to let her priorities reveal her feelings. Day after day, she chooses to spend time with her partner, regardless of the activity. If they ask for her company, she gives it without hesitation. She invites them to join her in the garden, or give input on her latest creations, and ensures that they are readily involved in just about every aspect of her life.

Being as talented as she is with crafting (both the overall art of doll-making and the somewhat related ability to sew all sorts of clothing), ‘tis not surprising that she also turns to gifts to express herself. From knitting hats in winter to soft blankets when her partner is sick, she provides for them in the easiest way she knows how.

Avaskian Caldwell:

Primary Love Language: Physical Touch/Words of Affirmation

Secondary Love Language: Quality Time

Examples: Arguably the most touch-starved person ever to exist, xer only possible rival being Cassandra. Struggles to strike a balance between hating being touched unexpectedly and wanting constant physical attention. Will give affectionate shoulder/back pats, loves forehead kisses/bumps, literally cannot sleep without cuddling someone/something (such as a stuffed animal). At the same time, a lifetime of severe anxiety has made it so that xe often relies on verbal encouragement from others to feel good/motivate xerself. Xe craves compliments, and defaults to poetry as a way of expressing love for others. One might think that being selectively mute might put a damper on this. However, if anything, it just furthers the value of xer speech. You know that xe cares about you if xe not only writes you poetry, but reads it aloud for you.

In true introvert/anxiety-riddled-bean fashion, Ava is also more than content to just chill with loved ones. Xe grew up in an admittedly fucked up family, but some of xer happiest childhood memories are of xerself sitting with xer brother, watching while he played through videogame after videogame, or sitting together on the big couch and reading. Years later, xe has a strong instinct to want to recreate those moments with xer new (slightly less fucked up) family.

[radexchangeprogram]

This is a random one but can I request head cannons of the Brothers and Dateables reacting to an MC that’s actually a half demon but was really great at hiding her demon side since she grew up in the human world? They see a demon man just bounding towards MC before the boys could do anything MC’s like “DAD! 😃” before jumping in his arms like a child. Around her Dad she gains fangs and horns like him but she reverts back to normal when she wants to. The boys are like “Why didn’t you say anything?” And she’s like “I’m just used to my human side” or “You never asked 🤷🏾‍♀️”

Of course! I love this idea. I didn’t get a chance to proof read this so I apologize for any grammatical mistakes.

Author’s notes at the end (marked by *s)

Spoiler warning for up to chapter 17 to be safe. Especially with Belphie.

Half Demon GN!MC Headcanons

General

Everyone noticed that you never seemed too bothered by the fact that you were surrounded by demons, but figured you were just rather good at adapting.

This theory was proven wrong at a party Lord Diavolo hosted.

As you chatted with the brothers, a large demon with griffon wings, a lion’s mane, and horns similar to a gazelle began to head in the direction of your group.

The demon, who the others instantly recognized as Duke Vapula, walked up to them with a cheeky grin.

The brothers were instantly on guard, Mammon even growling slightly, as it was extremely uncommon for anyone to approach them so casually.

Diavolo, Barbatos, Simeon, Luke, and Solomon all took notice and were prepared to intervine should something happen.

You turned around to see what the issue was and let out a loud gasp.

“DAD!”

Lucifer

Absolutely dumbfounded. How did he not know about this? He read your files to the point of practically memorizing them before you came here and he swears there was nothing about you being a half demon.

He was honestly a bit embarrassed that he didn’t know about something this major.

When confronting you, all you did was say that it wasn’t that big of a deal and that you figured they already knew.

You really give him a migraine sometimes.

He feels a bit relieved that he doesn’t have to worry as much about you dying, though.

If you wish, he may start teaching you demonic etiquette, such as having you shift form at formal events.

If you prefer your human heritage, he won’t pressure you to conform to your demonic ancestory.

Mammon

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN HIS HUMAN ISN’T ENTIRELY HUMAN?!?

The loudest about his displeasure about not knowing.

“I’m your first man! I’m supposed to know everything about you!”

When you explain to him that you’re more comfortable with your human half, he calms down a little.

Tries to call you ‘stupid half-demon’ but it doesn’t feel the same as ‘stupid human’ :(

You tell him he can just keep calling you ‘stupid human’ :D

Wonders if he can get your dad to pay him for ‘providing his child with such incredible protection’.

You immediately tell him no.

Leviathan

Holy shit this sounds like something straight out of an anime!!!

Very upset that you didn’t tell him, you’re his Henry! You’re supposed to tell him these kind of things!

When you shrug and simply say that no one asked, he gets even more pouty.

You make up with him quickly by offering to play games with him all night.

Extremely curious about your demonic form for the primary purpose of cosplay. Do you know how many more characters you can be if you have a tail or wings?!?

You might inspire some fanfiction. (half demon Henry x Lord of Shadows au slow burn 100k words, def not Leviathan projecting no not at all-)

Satan

He is extremely shocked. Not only did he have no idea, but half demons are extremely rare.

From what he’s read, most half-human half-demon offspring don’t survive past birth and all documented cases that have survived reside in the Devildom so that their powers can be better managed.

He asks you about this and you reply that you’re actually quite good at controlling your powers, but that you prefer living as a normal human.

He’s not upset that you didn’t tell him, but he has a billion questions.

How long is your lifespan? Do you take more after your demonic father or your human mother in terms of power?What are your weaknesses?

He really wants to learn more about human-demon hybrids and will ask you to help in his studies.

Also a bit excited as your father is well known for some for his knowledge and writing about the sciences. He wants to discuss some of it with you, assuming you’ve read what your father has written.*

Asmodeus

Oh he is so excited.

A bit relieved that his charm isn’t wearing off, it just doesn’t work because you’re the child of a demonic duke!

You know those boiling hot springs he talks about visiting? Well he’s happy to learn that you actually can join him without fear of your skin melting off!

He’s not upset that you didn’t tell him, getting mad over stuff like that can cause wrinkles.

He will absolutely want to help you groom your horns/wings/scales/tail.

He already has shown you a lot about demonic fashion trends, such as extra clothing that can be fitted around demonic extremities, but now he actually can actually have you try on some! Do you prefer gold tail bangles or jeweled horn cuffs?

Beelzebub

Relieved that Duke Vapula wasn’t looking for a fight.

He can’t help but smile a little when you hug your dad. It makes him happy that you love your family.

When you blush and tell him that it just slipped your mind to tell everyone about your heritage, he isn’t upset.

Happy that he doesn’t have to be so scared of accidentally hurting you with how strong he is.

If you’re able to safely eat some more demonic food, he will absolutely get you to try some of his favorite foods that normal humans would die upon eating.

Overall, you’re still the MC he has grown to love and doesn’t treat you too differently.

Belphegor

Is now more awake than he has been the entire evening.

Half demon? Nah this is just some dream.

Is understanding when you explain to him that you prefer being human and living as a human.

He’s happy he found out after making amends with you. He used to despise half-demons just as much as normal humans, seeing them as repulsive.

He still very much treats you the same, but is a bit annoyed with his brothers.

With knowledge of your demonic blood coming to light, they drag you out even more often and naps with you are becoming rarer.

If you get too overwhelmed with his brothers constantly wanting to try things they thought would previously kill you, he will be more than happy to lend you some of his hiding spots. He does charge the small fee of getting to take a nap with you though.

Diavolo

Similar to Lucifer, is shocked that he didn’t know before you came to the Devildom.

You aren’t the first half-demon he’s met, but he is surprised that a demon of Duke Vapula’s rank had a child with a human.

He’s actually very excited to learn that you’re a half-demon who is in more in touch with your human side. He feels a lot more relieved that you aren’t as defenseless as previously thought.

He does, however, make absolute sure that you have full control over your demonic powers. Every other half-demon lives in the Devildom for a reason and he can’t have someone who is technically one of his subjects accidentally cause mass destruction.

He invites you for tea more frequently, asking so many questions about how being raised in the human world as a half-demon was.

He likes to exchange stories with you about your younger years and the power fluxes you both struggled with as you grew.

Tells you that should you ever wish to live in the Devildom that he would be more than happy to make the needed arrangements.

Barbatos

He knew the whole time. When Diavolo asked him to look into the success of the program, he made note of your heritage right away.

However, he decided that keeping this information hidden when he saw that you were raised human and preferred to be seen as human.

When he explains this to everyone, you can’t help but feel thankful.

While some of the others make no effort to hide how annoyed this makes them, he doesn’t mind. He knows he made the right choice keeping this from everyone and doesn’t regret it at all.

Barbatos is actually a pretty good friend of your father’s and grew up with him. He actually met you when you were a baby because of this.*

Solomon

He has seen a lot in his years in the world of magic, but nothing like this.

Usually, half-demons were very easy to spot as they struggled to control their powers, but you practically had it down to an art!

You explain to him that you’re actually pretty good at keeping your powers under control. He’s rather impressed by this and will ask to see your spell work.

Thinks it’s a little funny that he has a pact with your dad.*

Like Satan, he wants to know all about you. Unlike Satan, he is going to actually conduct experiments instead of stick to interviews.

He has a new potion that he wants you to try almost every day now.

Can half-demons make pacts? If so, you have now been added to the list of demonic beings he wants to make a pact with.

Simeon

Very surprised considering he’s blessed you before.

Blessings aren’t supposed to work on anything of demonic nature so he’s baffled.

When you explain to him that you were raised human and prefer to live as human, he smiles.

He comes to the conclusion that you being a good person must be greater than the demonic blood in your veins.

He treats you the same overall, knowing that you’re still you no matter your heritage.

Luke

Absolute denial.

There is no way someone as nice as you is part demon! He refuses to believe it!

Gets upset and accuses you of trying to manipulate him, which you quickly deny.

When you explain to him that you prefer being human, he huffs.

Simeon gives him a bit of a talking to, about how you’re still the same MC who he sees as a big sibling.

He bakes you some apology cupcakes for being rude to you.

You sometimes shift form to mess around with him, it never fails to make him let out a shocked yelp before he snaps at you for picking on him.

Everyone (except Luke) thinks it’s funny tbh.

Author’s Notes:

*Duke Vapula is described as being able to bestow knowledge about all science contained in books.

*Barbatos is also a duke in The Goetia. I thought a fun nod to this would be to have them as friends.

*The Goetia talks about the 72 demons that King Solomon evoked. Vapula is one of the demons that he evoked. The game actually references this by talking about his 72 pacts. Asmodeus and Barbatos are both included in the 72 demons which is why he has pacts with both of them in the game :)

[snickerdoodlles]

@the-cookie-of-doom hdndj I!!! am indeed writing more of this!!!! unfortunately can't share any of it yet because it's in handwritten form, but never fear Kim is walking around literally burning with feelings 🥺❤️

it is. very late. and originally I was going to put this in replies, but I am physically incapable of shutting up when it comes to hmc, okay so!!!

Howl's Moving Castle, The Book -- hmc was originally written by author Diana Wynne Jones and is the first of its trilogy. the narrative primarily has a strong feminist theme -- it follows Sophie, cursed at ~19 to be ~90, as she discovers both herself and freedom as an "old spinster" vs how she wilted under the societal pressures, expectations, and demands she felt as a young woman. Sophie is a ridiculously powerful witch and has no clue (she "talks the life into things"), is the love interest of a ridiculously powerful wizard and has no clue (he rescued her and she thought he was rescuing a lady who wasn't even present). she's nosy, stubborn, impulsive, obstinate, angry, and one of my most favorite characters ever ❤️ book!Howl is conservatively 8000% more ridiculous than his movie counterpart. every character in this book is a treat actually.

Howl's Moving Castle, the movie -- this is a Ghibli film and basically a very popular AU of the book. it instead puts focus on love during a time of war. the characters are different from the novel but still recognizable, and what had been a minor detail in the books (the war) is pushed to be the primary conflict. a lot of Miyazaki' films have anti-war themes in some form or another, but hmc's anti-war themes are particularly strong. the movie came out during the US's War on Terror in Iraq (something Miyazaki vehemently opposed) and a lot of the movie's imagery calls to it as well as WWII. it is a visually gorgeous movie (as expected of Ghibli) and it captures the whimsical feeling the book evokes really well despite being a different story with a different plot and themes.

both are really fun, personally I find both to be the type of rich story where I pick up something new each time I read/watch them, obviously I'm biased as hell 😂 but also have NO fear of not knowing either when it comes to reading any hmc AU I write, as you can see mine never follow either book or movie plot. (that's how I always AU? it's a lot more fun for me personally to just take a theme or two and a few worldbuilding details as building blocks for a different story. at most the explicit AU source material is used to make the title or an easter egg for anyone who does know the other story 🤗)

MY RAMBLES ASIDE 👀 stardust AU you say 👀

📔

:D! to absolutely no one's surprise, i worked myself into a howl's moving castle AU for kimchay:

Chay is the wizard (Chay is always magic). he gives his heart to a falling star.

Kim is the star (Kim is always a star). Kim never had a heart until he had Chay's. Kim, who had just been running from his father no matter the cost, who now can't bear to burn his human up.

their rule of three is the three times Kim tries to give back Chay's heart. Chay denies him, obviously, but when Kim does finally get Chay's heart back in his chest, he's downright gobsmacked he doesn't flicker and fade away.

Chay, smiling fondly, tells him Kim can't give back what he gave him freely long ago and seals the promise with a kiss.

[[ ask me about fics im not writing ]]

[elise-jupiterstyle]

this is a very cynical bomb that i’m about to drop with absolutely no context but they really did just fetishize rio to gain viewership without actually ever giving a shit about his value as a character, and i’ve gotten myself into a bit of a spiral stewing about it.

tw: my opinions again

like i didn’t want to think about my favorite show so negatively before it ended so i tried to steer clear of any posts that discussed it for the sake of my own enjoyment but after how short the finale season fell from my expectations, it’s hard not to be pissed off. because ever since they had beth shoot rio in season two i’ve been waiting for them to reconcile such a gruesome choice by developing the characters further, their relationships, their knowledge of themselves, but it just didn’t happen. beth never took accountability for the shooting, rio never took accountability for kidnapping and pressuring her, and dean never took accountability for his infidelity or faking cancer, which were the three main points of conflict that the writers should’ve focused on resolving before ever even thinking of introducing new conflicts.

i’m not saying i wanted rio to forgive beth, or that i wanted beth to forgive dean, or that i wanted any of these resolutions to happen immediately after their conflicts took place. and sure, you could say that beth’s character compartmentalizes and that beth and rio aren’t good communicators and didn’t have a strong bond of trust to begin with so it wouldn’t be in character for them to discuss what happened, but that’s where character growth is supposed to come in! you’re supposed to write characters with these flaws so that they have a better version of themselves to work towards that is slowly developed as they encounter each conflict. they’re not meant to make them into worse people until the show is entirely unbearable to watch because all of that old resentment and tension is just rotting away beneath the rug it’s been swept under.

it’s not a creative choice to have characters directly create conflict and then never address it again while they move onto the next big thing -- it’s lazy writing, and it makes it crystal clear that they were written in solely to shock the viewers and create tension between the characters, not to cultivate growth, and that is very frustrating when you have a group of characters whose inherent morality is constantly insisted upon.

what’s especially frustrating about this is that it not only means there is a lack of depth to all the characters, but there’s a lack of value to the ones that the writers did not favor. based on the season one storyline that culminated in rio shooting dean and letting beth live -- essentially getting even with her in a way that didn’t involve killing off the protagonist, even though that would’ve been the most likely course of action based on the consequences that other disposable characters suffered (i.e. eddie) -- it’s my belief that the writers didn’t expect to keep rio on the show past season one (honestly, it kind of feels like they didn’t even expect to get another season, based on how messy the storyline felt as the seasons progressed), and therefore didn’t value rio’s character the way the audience came to by season two. 

when i say the writers didn’t (and honestly, i still think they don’t -- not in the same way they value the girls, dean, stan, or even fucking boomer) value him, i mean they didn’t see him as being worth the effort of giving a character arc, a background story, personal relationships, etc. they threw in marcus at the start of season two to be like “he’s a dad! that means he has depth!” and then never really touched on it again. there was like, one other scene with marcus that i can remember, and then he, too, was sidelined until they needed to humanize rio again after he got shot. all of the other kids -- the bolands, sarah, harry, and ben -- are regularly featured because they are a driving component of the women’s motivation to survive and succeed. with rio, his kid is only used to relate him back to the women, to make him seem human for a moment, but marcus’s real value as a character lies in how he makes beth feel as she grieves rio, not how he contributes to rio’s behavior, motivation, and overall character.

and yes, i know that rio is technically a side character, that the children of the protagonists are going to have more development, but if they actually wanted to add depth to rio’s character through the facet of parenthood, they would’ve shown more than one interaction with him after he spent supposed months away from him without a word. that kid would’ve been traumatized by that, and seeing rio’s reaction to his kid mourning his disappearance would’ve provided a much more real and interesting angle than them all smiling and happy, like we’ve seen in every other scene with him and marcus. it would’ve showed that the writers care about rio’s pain, about how his absence affected those he loves, but to be blunt, they don’t. they showed beth grieving him when she shot him, but we didn’t see him recovering from that traumatic event. they didn’t even care enough about him to give him fake scars, for christ’s sake. 

everything that happened to rio throughout the show was either done to further the other women’s development or appease the viewers, and they made zero effort to hide that. they walked his characterization backwards so many times (him threatening beth’s family when it had been insinuated thus far that that was the only line he wouldn’t cross; him touching her and making suggestive advances on her in exchange for bail money when she was clearly uncomfortable; him returning all of her stuff and happily accepting her as his superior when there was no development in their relationship to suggest he’d forgiven her or would be receptive to her having power over him) and almost every single instance of them using him to promote the show exploited his outward appearance and the fact that so many viewers have fetishized him as this “exotic” bad boy without any regard for how minimizing and insulting that marketing tactic is. 

looking through their instagram, i saw no other instance of an actor’s picture being posted next to a bunch of thirsty tweets or captioned as being “another reason to watch good girls.” it’s fetishization disguised as playful, well-intentioned endorsement, but if they were really referring to rio’s character rather than his appearance as a reason to watch the show, we wouldn’t be seeing his face on nearly every episode promo and highlight with him only occupying about five minutes of screen time every 50-minute episode.

there’s not really a neat bow-tie conclusion to this, but what i’m getting at is that the writers wanted it both ways. they wanted the viewership and fan engagement that manny’s character garnered, but they didn’t value him enough to give him the screen time and characterization that he deserved. this resulted in all of the revelations that were made about his character -- his son, rhea, his dynamic with turner, his backstory, his hobby, his grandma, nick -- feeling pretty underwhelming because they were never touched on again. they were there because they had to give us something, but they weren’t important enough to the writers to be expanded upon, to be used for personal growth or connecting with the other characters. i think that’s why it felt like such a hollow victory -- we got exactly what we wanted in theory, but there the foundation of it all was too weak for it to feel truly meaningful. 

we wanted rio to be acknowledged and written as a permanent fixture on the show, but instead the rest of the characters were hell-bent on getting rid of him and his primary aspect of redemption was what he meant to beth, not what he meant to the show. even in the finale when she finally came to the realization that she won’t ever be able to give up crime, rio’s role in contributing to her self-actualization was passed over by a character who has been in seven episodes, and i think that really spoke for itself the loudest in terms of how much the writers truly valued him.

[itsclydebitches]

The Bad Batch: A Crosshair Analysis

Hello, Star Wars fandom! I have just completed watching—and loving—The Bad Batch, which you know means I now need to dump all my thoughts about the first season into the tumblr void. Specifically, thoughts on the complicated drama that is Crosshair. I have no doubt that the majority of what I’m about to say will be old news to anyone who watched the show when it came out (I’m slow...), but I’m writing it all out anyway. Largely for my own sanity enjoyment :D

I want to preface all of this by saying that the above is not an exaggeration. I love the show and I love the entire cast. My enjoyment in each of the characters is directly connected to my enjoyment of the season as a whole, which I say because I’m about to get pretty critical towards some of the characters’ choices and, to a lesser extent, the writing choices that surround those. Does this mean I secretly hate The Bad Batch? Quite the opposite. I’m invested, which is presumably just what Filoni wants. I’m just hoping that investment pays off. 

But enough of the disclaimers. Let’s start with the matter of the inhibitor chip. I’ve seen fans take some pretty hard stances on both sides: Crosshair is completely innocent because he’s definitely been under the chip’s control this whole time, no matter what he might say. Crosshair is completely guilty because he said the chip was removed a long time ago and he chose to do all this, no moral wiggle room allowed. However, the reality is that we don’t know enough to make a clear call either way. The audience, simply put, does not have all the necessary information. What we have instead is a couple of facts combined with claims that may or may not be reliable. Let’s lay them out:

Crosshair was definitely under the chip’s control at the start of the series.

He was able to resist it to a certain extent, resulting in a pressure to obey orders coupled with a primary loyalty to his squad. See: telling Hunter to follow the Empire’s commands—which includes killing kid Padawans—but not turning his team in as traitors when they did not. It’s an in-between space.

Crosshair’s chip was then amplified to an unknown extent. I’m never going to claim I’m a Star Wars aficionado—I’m a casual fan, friends. Please don’t yell at me over obscure lore lol—but within TBB’s canon, no one else is undergoing that experimentation. The effects of this are entirely unknown, which includes Crosshair’s free will, or lack thereof.

Crosshair then becomes a clear tool of the Empire, hunting down innocents, killing on a whim, the whole, evil shebang.

In “Reunion” he’s caught by the engine and suffers severe burns to his face. One leaves a scar that covers precisely the place where the chip would have been extracted.

Removing the chip leaves its own scar behind. If Crosshair’s was removed, we can’t see that scar due to the burn.

After these events Crosshair seems to mellow a bit. He does horrible things under the Empire’s orders—like shooting the senator—but is still loyal to his squad—killing his non-clone teammates to give TBB a chance, saving AZ and Omega, etc.

Crosshair claims that his chip has already been removed. However, Crosshair is arguably an unreliable source if he’s been lied to or if the chip is still there, encouraging him to manipulate the team.

Crosshair claims it was removed a long time ago, which is incredibly imprecise. As we can see from just some of the events listed above, precisely when the chip came out—if it came out—makes a huge difference.

Hunter realizes this and presses for clarification, but Crosshair dodges giving it. Again, a legitimate belief that it doesn’t matter, or evidence that he can’t say because something else is going on? We don’t know.

Hunter checks Crosshair’s head and finds the burn scar which proves… nothing. As stated above, they wouldn’t be able to see the surgery scar one way or another: its existence or its absence. It’s useless data, as Tech might say. I’ve seen a few fans claim that Hunter was also feeling for the chip with his enhanced senses, but 1. I didn’t catch any evidence of that in the scene and 2. Even if we assume Hunter did that anyway, the chips are notoriously hard to spot. Fives and AZ couldn’t find the chip at first when examining Tup. Ahsoka had to use the force to find it in Rex. TBB themselves couldn’t find it at first in Wrecker. If machinery consistently fails to find the chip on the first couple of tries—it’s meant to be a hidden implant, after all—why would we believe Hunter’s senses could pick it up instantly? Maybe he missed it, or maybe it wasn’t there at all. 

Crosshair appears to be struggling with a headache in the finale, just as he was at the beginning of the season and just like Wrecker was for the first half.

The point of listing all this out is to emphasize how ambiguous this whole situation is. I don’t want to use this post to argue one way or another about whether Crosshair’s chip is really out. I have my preferred theory (the chip’s still in, but only partially functional), but at the end of the day none of this is conclusive. The writing takes us in what I hope is deliberate circles. Crosshair says the chip is out? Crosshair is not a reliable source of information until we know if the chip is out. What other evidence is there that the chip is gone? A scar? We can’t see if there’s a scar. Hunter’s abilities? He only checked once for a canonically hard to find implant—if he actually checked at all. And why would the Empire want the chip out? Well, maybe it has to do with that push towards willing soldiers, but if that were the case, why leave Crosshair behind and have the “clones die together”? By that point he was one of the most willing, chip or not. Did they have to take it out because of the engine accident? Pure speculation. We just don’t know and THAT is the point I want to make.

Because it means the rest of the Bad Batch didn’t know either.

The core issue I have here is not whether the chip is in or out, or even how long it may have been in if it is out now. The issue is that TBB spent 99% of the first season believing that Crosshair was under the chip’s influence… and they didn’t try to do anything about that. They abandoned him. They left a man behind. Does this make them all horrible monsters? Of course not! This shit is complicated as hell, but I do think they made a very large mistake and that Crosshair has every right to be furious about it.

“But, Clyde, they couldn’t have gone back. It was too dangerous! Hunter had a duty to his whole team, not just Crosshair.” True enough and I’d buy this argument 100% if Hunter hadn’t spent the entire season throwing his team into dangerous, seemingly impossible situations to save other people. Crosshair became the exception, not a hard rule of something they had to avoid. They went back to Kamino for Omega, a kid they’d only had one lunch with, despite knowing how dangerous the Empire was. They went into the heart of an occupied planet to rescue not just a stranger, but one belonging to the Separatist government. They helped Sid when she asked and there was plenty of compassion for the criminal trying to take her place. Most significantly, there wasn’t the slightest hesitation to go rescue Hunter when he was under the Empire’s control, in precisely the same place. Every explanation I’ve seen fans come up with—Kamino is too fortified, they don’t know where Crosshair is, they can’t risk Omega being captured, etc.—also holds true for Hunter, yet there wasn’t a second of doubt about needing to at least try to help him. And his rescue was arguably far more dangerous given that TBB knew they were walking into a trap. Going after Crosshair would have at least had some element of surprise.

I think the problem with these justifications is most easily seen in “Rescue on Ryloth” and, later, “War-Mantle.” In the former, we do watch Hunter decide that going on a rescue mission is too much of a risk, only for Omega to talk him into considering it.

Hunter: “It’s a big galaxy. We can’t put ourselves on the line every time someone’s in trouble.”

Omega: “Why not? Isn’t that what soldiers do?”

Hunter: “It’s not worth the risk.”

Omega: “She’s trying to save her family, Hunter. I’d do the same for you.”

The arguments that sway him are ‘Soldiers should help people’ and ‘Soldiers should specifically help their family.’ So… what does that say about their feelings for Crosshair? They’re willing to put themselves on the line for the parents of a girl they met once at a drop site, but not their own brother? That’s the message the writing sends. “But, Clyde, the difference is that they had an advantage here. Hera’s knowledge of her home planet tipped the odds in their favor.” Yeah… and Crosshair is stationed on TBB’s home planet. Even more than them collectively having the same knowledge that Hera does, “Return to Kamino” reveals that Omega always had additional, insider knowledge of the base: she has access to a secret landing pad and the tunnels leading up into the city. That knowledge was given and used the second Hunter’s freedom was on the line, but it never once came up to use for Crosshair’s benefit. 

“War-Mantle’s” mission puts this problem in even sharper relief. Another claim I’ve seen a lot is that TBB only took risky rescue missions because they needed to be paid. The guys have got to eat after all. Yet Tech makes it clear that going after Gregor will lose them money. They’re meant to be on a mission for Sid and deviating for that won’t result in a payment. He explicitly says that if they decide to do this, they won’t eat. They do it anyway. No money, no intel, a huge risk “on a clone we don’t even know.” But that’s not what’s important, the show says. All that matters is that a brother is in trouble. This time it’s Echo pushing that message instead of Omega. When Hunter realizes that they’re about to try and infiltrate an entire facility and they don’t even know if this clone is still alive, Echo points out that they took that risk once before: for him. “If there’s a chance that trooper is being held against his will, we have to try and get him out.”

Yes! Exactly right! So why doesn’t that apply to Crosshair?

“Because he tried to kill them, Clyde!” No, that’s the easy, dismissive answer. A chipped Crosshair tried to kill them. AKA, a Crosshair entirely under the Empire’s control. The only difference between his enslavement and Gregor’s is that Gregor’s chains were physical while Crosshair’s were mental. And again, the point of everything at the start of this post is to show that no one knows when or even if that chip was removed. TBB definitely didn’t have any reason to suspect that Crosshair was working under his own power until Crosshair himself said as much. We might have been able to make that case at the start of the season, but “Battle Scars” removes any possible confusion. The entire team watched Rex reach for his blaster when he learned their chips were still in. The entire team watched Wrecker become a totally different person and attack them, just like Crosshair did. The entire team forgave him instantly and had their own chips removed. So why in the world didn’t anyone go, “Wow, Crosshair has a chip too. He was no more responsible for attacking us than Wrecker was. We need to try to get him out, no matter how hard that might be, just like we had to try for all these other people we’ve helped.”

But they didn’t. No one even considered rescuing Crosshair. They only went back for Hunter and, when they realized Crosshair was there too, they didn’t change their plans to try and rescue him as well. He’s treated as a particularly threatening inconvenience, not another team member in need of their help.

The problem I have with how this all went down is that the team treated Crosshair like an enemy despite all evidence to the contrary. Despite Omega outright saying that this isn’t his fault, it’s the chip, the group seems to decide that he’s gone crazy or something and that there’s nothing they can do. “It’s fine,” I thought. “They don’t really get what the chip is like yet. They don’t understand how thoroughly it controls someone.” But then “Battle Scars” arrives and Wrecker is treated with such compassion (which he deserves!) only for the group to continue acting like Crosshair is somehow different. It’s easy to say, “But Crosshair shot Wrecker” and ignore the easy pushback of, “and Wrecker nearly shot Omega.” Up until Crosshair’s own accusations and Omega’s ignored comments, TBB’s understanding of the chip’s influence and the lack of responsibility that accompanies mysteriously disappears when the show’s antagonist becomes the subject of conversation. This is seen most clearly in how Hunter tries to frame things during his talk with Crosshair:

“You tried to kill us. We didn’t have a choice.”

“Can’t you see that they’re using you? It’s that inhibitor chip in your head.”

“You really don’t get who we are, do you?”

Hunter mentions the chip, but he acts as if it’s Crosshair’s responsibility to overcome it: “Can’t you see…” Of course he can’t see, that’s the entire point of the chip, the thing he currently believes Crosshair still has stuck in his head. But Hunter and the others—with Omega as a wonderful exception—never seem to have accepted this like they did for Wrecker. When Crosshair “tried to kill us” it’s seen as a deliberate act that he chose, not something forced on him like with Wrecker. When Hunter talks about their ethics, he subconsciously separates the team from Crosshair: “You really don’t get who we are, do you?”, revealing a pretty ingrained divide between them. Even Wrecker gets in on the action, the one brother who truly understands how much the chip controls someone: “All that time, you didn’t even try to come back.” What part of he couldn’t try is not hitting home here? Again, for the purposes of this conversation it doesn’t matter whether Crosshair was chipped this whole time or not. The point is that TBB believed he was chipped… and yet still expected him to somehow, magically overcome that programming, writing him off when he failed to do that. He’s consistently held responsible for actions that they were told (and, through Wrecker, saw) were completely outside of his control. Even when we factor in his claim that the chip was removed, TBB has ignored all the evidence I listed at the start. No one, not even Omega, challenges this super vague and strange claim, or seeks out proof because they don’t want to believe that their brother could willingly do this. There’s just this... acceptance that of course Crosshair went bad. Why? Because he was an asshole sometimes? Taking it all as written, it doesn’t feel like the batch considered him a true part of the team. Certainly not like Wrecker or Hunter. As shown, the batch will go out of their way, risk anything, forgive anything, for them. They have a level of faith that was never shown to Crosshair. 

“Severe and unyielding,” Tech says and he’s absolutely right, but I’d seriously challenge this idea that any of the others would have automatically done better if the situations were reversed. It stood out to me that each batch member has a moment of doubt throughout the series, a brief glimpse into how they think the Empire isn’t that bad, at least when it comes to this particular thing. Basically, a moment that could lead to a very dangerous line of thinking without others to stomp it down. Wrecker announces that he’s happy working for whoever, provided they give him food and let him blow things up. Tech finds the chain codes to be an ingenious strategy and is clearly fascinated with their development. Hunter initially wants Omega to stay on Kamino, despite knowing that this Empire has already, systematically killed an entire group of people: the Jedi. Doesn’t matter. She’s still (supposedly) safer there than she would be running with the likes of them.

There’s absolutely no doubt that those three made the correct choice in defying the Empire, but I believe that their ability to make that choice is largely dependent on them having each other. They survive together, not apart, and it’s their unity that allows them to make the really hard calls, like setting out on their own and opposing such a formidable force. But if Tech’s chip had activated and he’d been left behind, would he have muscled through to escape somehow...or would he have gotten caught up in all the new technology the Empire offered him, succumbing to both his chip and the inevitability that if his squad no longer wanted him, why not stay? Would Wrecker have escaped, or been easily manipulated into a new life of exploding things? Would Hunter have been able to push through without his brothers, or would he have become devoted to a new team to lead? Obviously there’s no way to ever know, but it’s always easier to make the right decisions when you have support in doing so. Crosshair had no support. His team left him and yes, they had to in that specific moment, but the point is that they never came back. As far as we saw throughout the season, they never planned to come back. They all talk about loving the Crosshair who existed when life was easier, but they weren’t willing to fight for the Crosshair that most needed their help. When he says “You weren’t loyal to me,” he’s absolutely right. The same episode, “Return to Kamino,” gives Omega two powerful lines that the group rallies behind:

Omega: “[The danger] doesn’t matter. Saving Hunter is what matters.”

AZ: “You must leave.”

Omega: “Not without Hunter.”

The key word there is “Hunter.” Danger, stakes, risk, probability… none of that matters when Hunter needs help. Crosshair did not receive that same level of devotion.

Which creates a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy. The group is upset that Crosshair isn’t rejoining them, but they fail to realize that he has no reason to trust them anymore. He’s not joining the Empire because he’s inherently evil and that’s that, end of discussion. He’s joining it because above all Crosshair wants a place to belong… and TBB has made it clear—unintentionally—that he does not belong with them. The horrible actions that Crosshair took under his own free will (theoretically) came after he realized that doing bad things while under the Empire’s control was, apparently, unforgivable. If it wasn’t, his team would have come back to rescue him. They could have at least tried. But they didn’t, so Crosshair is left with the conclusion that either what he did under the Empire’s control is something the group can’t forgive him for, or they can forgive that (like with Wrecker) and he’s the problem here. He’s the one not worth that effort.

“The Empire will be fazing out clones next,” Hunter says. To which Crosshair responds, “Not the ones that matter.”

He wants to matter to someone and events show he no longer matters to his brothers. So why not stay with the Empire? I mean, we as the audience ABSOLUTELY know why not. Self-doubt and feelings of isolation aren’t excuses for joining the Super Evil Organization. Crosshair, if he is under his own control, is still 100% in the wrong for supporting them, no matter his reasons. So it’s not an excuse, but rather an explanation of that very human, flawed, fallible thinking. He needs to be useful. He needs to be wanted. Crosshair is an absolute dick to the regs and I have no doubt that a lot of that stems from the harassment TBB has experienced from them (with a side of his inflated ego), but I’d bet it’s also due to Crosshair’s intense desire to be valuable to someone. He keeps pointing out the regs’ supposed deficiencies because it highlights his own usefulness. When Crosshair fails to find Hera, the Admiral says that soon he’ll get someone who can, looking straight at Howzer at the door. It makes Crosshair seethe because his entire identity is based on being useful, yet no one seems to need him anymore. TBB seems to no longer want him. The Empire no longer wants clones. Now even regs are considered a better option than him, the “superior” soldier. Everywhere Crosshair turns he’s getting the message that he’s not wanted, but he’ll keep fighting to at least be needed in some capacity, no matter how small. Even if that means overlooking all the horrors the Empire commits.

“All you’ll ever be to [the Empire] is a number,” Hunter says and he’s absolutely right. But to TBB recently, Crosshair hasn’t even been that. He’s been nothing. Nobody worth coming back for. To his mind, at least being a number is something.

I hope that all of this resolves itself into a conclusion that is kind to each side (preferably without a Vader-style death redemption), especially given the still ambiguous state of the chip, but from a writing standpoint I’m admittedly a bit wary. We’re obviously meant to believe that the batch all love each other, but as established throughout this entirely too long post, this season did a terrible job imo of proving that they love Crosshair. Or, at least, proving that they love him as much as the others. If this was really meant to be just a matter of miscommunication, with Crosshair making terrible life choices because he only thinks he was abandoned, then we as the audience would have seen the batch trying and failing to get him out. Or at least establishing a very good reason why they couldn’t take that risk, hopefully with entirely different side-missions so the audience isn’t constantly going, “So you can risk everything for Gregor... but not Crosshair?” I’m VERY glad that Crosshair was allowed to air his grievances to the extent he did, but the end result of that—Hunter continually denying this, Omega walking away from him in their rooms, neither Tech nor Wrecker actually sticking up for him and acknowledging the chip’s influence during at least some of all this—is making things feel rather one-sided. It’s like we’re meant to take Crosshair at his word and accept that he’s this garden-variety antagonist who joins the Empire because yay being on the winning side… despite all these complications that clearly have a huge impact on how we read the situation. It doesn’t help that the show has already embraced an inconsistent manner of portraying chipped-clones. We know every clone has one, we know only a couple clones are aware of the chip’s existence (and can thus try to get it out), we know they enter a “Good soldiers follow orders” mindlessness once activated… yet towards the end we see a lot of side character clones thinking for themselves. Howzer decides that he’s no longer loyal to the Empire, giving a speech where a couple other clones throw down their weapons too. Gregor was arrested because he likewise realized how wrong this all was. But how is that possible? Do the chips completely control the clones, or not? Are these clones somehow exceptions? Are the chips beginning to fail? All of that has a bearing on how we read Crosshair—what were his own decisions, how much he was capable of overcoming the chip, whether that changed at all during certain points—but right now that remains really unclear.

It’s details like that which make me wonder if all these other questions will be answered. Will the story resolve all those ambiguous moments surrounding the chip, or brush them off with the belief that we should have just taken Crosshair at his equally ambiguous word? Will the story acknowledge Crosshair’s points through someone other than Crosshair, allowing it to exist as a legitimate criticism, rather than the presumed excuses of an antagonist? I’m… not sure. On the whole I’m very happy with TBB’s writing—despite what all this might imply lol. Until my brain picks over the season and discovers something else, my only other gripe is not allowing Omega to form a solid bond with Tech and Echo, instead putting all the focus on big brother!Wrecker and dad!Hunter. I think it’s a solid show that does a lot right, but I’m worried that, unless there’s a brilliant answer to all these questions and an intent to unpack both sides of the Hunter vs. Crosshair debate with respect—not just falling back on, “Well, Crosshair is with the Empire so everything he says is automatically bad and wrong” take—we’ve just gotten the setup for a somewhat messy, ethical story. For anyone here who also reads my RWBY metas, I’m pretty sure you’re not at all surprised that I’m invested in going, “Hey, you had one of the heroes suddenly become/join a dictatorship and do a lot of horrific things, but within a pretty complicated context. Can we please work through that carefully and with an acknowledgement of the nuance here, rather than throwing the ‘evil’ character to the proverbial wolves?”  

God knows TBB is leagues ahead of RWBY, but I hope things continue on in not just a good direction, but one that tackles the aspects of this situation that many fans—and Crosshair—have already pointed out. As much as I adore the cast—and I really, really do—it was discomforting to watch a found family show where 4/5th of that family so completely wrote off one of the members and crucially have, at least so far, refused to acknowledge that. I want complicated, flawed characters, but that’s only compelling when the storytelling admits to and grapples with those flaws. We have quite firmly established Crosshair’s flaws in Season One. I hope Season Two delves into the rest of the team’s too.

Aaaand with that meta-dump out of my system, I’m off to write TBB fic. Thanks for reading! :D

[honeybunhalo]

Kara/Lena adopt Superboy AU Notes (Part 1)

I’m finally delivering on the content for this Supercorp AU

This is a Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor and Superboy (Kon-El) centric story. Specifically focused on exploration of one's identity and how you define yourself with the many aspects of your life and choices you made as well as what you consider important and precious to you. The effects of being constrained by how you were born and finding those who love you for who you are and don't ask you to change the core of your being to fit in. — this is not an action packed story at all.

Here are some of the ideas I have for this or things I thought Kon had in common with Lena and Kara that I find compelling.

Lena concepts:

Lena gets to know another Luthor, her biological nephew, who isn’t a trash person and is someone to not just for her to protect but who’s existence assures her that it isn’t blood that makes someone bad and maybe she isn’t so different from other people and she’s not “irredeemable”. Sometimes he reminds her of her older brother when he was kind to her growing up. Likewise, everyone usually sees the Lex in Kon as an inherently bad thing and thus he learns to hide it and hate himself for it. Lena presents an alternate because she remembers bittersweetly a simpler time when she looked up to her brother. Not everyone sees the Luthor genes in him as a threat, Lena finds it comforting to be able to help someone like her in a way she was never helped as a young girl. 

Lena thinks she can’t interact with kids well, much less the kid Lex had grown in a lab, but she totally warms up to him and can talk to him about familial rejection (via Clark) and if it’s because he’s a Luthor and if that makes him wrong. Is it because he’s artificial? Is it because he’s some strange illegitimate lab child? Smothering this kid with love and protection.

Plus Kon is like Kara in more than just being kryptonian but also in dorkiness. Lena’s life is just trying to wrangle an overpowered golden retriever and her lab puppy. She can’t stay mad at them for long.

Lena finding she is capable of loving and being loved and being with Kara makes it harder to ignore the crush she has on Kara. They talk together about love and acceptance now they have a shared kid they don’t want to hide personal things from that could later hurt him and many things become open secrets in their now shared house. Soon enough, it becomes obvious she needs to be truthful with Kara about her own feelings for her. 

Lena could learn about the difficulties of hiding being an alien that Kara had to deal with and the onslaught and exhaustion of developing powers in young kryptonians. She gets to see first hand what it does to a child and wonders how that must have affected Kara’s emotional development and sense of self. 

Lillian and Lex won’t get anywhere near this kid if Lena has something to say about it. Lena knows what it’s like to be the odd one out in a family and for people to reject you for simply existing from other people's sins

Kara concepts:

Kara recounts how she felt like a failure waking up on earth to find out Kal had grown up without her. Now she can maybe make peace with that by taking in Kon even if everything that motivates her choices with him is primarily for kons sake. 

Kara can share with another person krypton's history and culture which is something she’s had to keep seperate from her primary identity for years now *cough* it’s almost like she’s an immigrant who has to hide her identity and culture to be accepted and you could use that in the story *cough* 

Kon lived through being created as a lab rat and the only living experiment left. Kara could sympathize with his own grief from her experience with survivors’ guilt. 

Being open with Kon so that he doesn’t feel that same overwhelming pressure when she was told to hide with a human family also gives room for Lena to learn more about the world Kara came from beyond what she knows from interviews from Superman. Having Kara speak openly about her life on Krypton is much more personal and feels much more real than any article could do. 

Teaching Kon how best to control his powers and her and Lena being able to have the resources for him to do so safely 

Alex is very alarmed by the new addition to the family, mostly because how shitty Clark was in relation to the kid. From her perspective, this is not the first time the guy has dumped an unwanted kryptonian child on someone else’s doorstep. Whatever, she gets to buy leather jackets for her new nephew and be scary overprotective of him. “I don’t care if you think you’re nearly invulnerable at your age, do you have ANY IDEA what type of trouble your mother got us into when we were growing up? Or even when she just started hero work?”

Conner Kon-Cepts:

His sort-of-aunts can be his adoptive moms and be much better to him than his biological dads ever were to him in the comic canon. Kon actually being allowed to be close to other Superman family members!!! I need it like the air I breathe. Kon could get to know a Luthor that isn’t trying to hurt him or use him. Someone who defies part of why (Kon thinks) Superman could never accept a thing like him. 

(I have too many things to say to put in a brief bullet point just know that he’s my fav little boy and I think that he deserves parents who would love him unconditionally and Lena and Kara deserve to live a slower life where they can be cute and domestic)

(If he’s raised by these two then I can give a solid reason as to why we just ignore all the blatant misogynistic and horny writing from the 90s comics that made me really uncomfortable and didn’t completely fit with his given backstory especially with how over the top the specialization was. It helps make up for that)

Kon has to deal with being constantly compared to his two genetic fathers mirroring how Kara and Lena both are constantly being compared to Superman and Lex Luthor as they are the female counterparts of those two more infamous members in their respective families

Kara and Kon have very complementary stories and could become what the other needs to fill a hole in each of their hearts. Canon is way too personally tragic. I’d rather have a bittersweet world that’s also soft so I can spend more time with slow paced character analysis.

(In the beginning, Kon’s much more timid given he’s still so young and is coping with being rejected by superman. The tone at the beginning of the story is very serious. As the story unfolds, kon will loosen up to be goofier like his comic counterparts personality)

Both Clark and Lex don’t deserve this kid in any way. If all they are gonna do is mistreat or neglect him in their own ways, Kon is better off with his aunts. 

Conclusion:

Kara and Lena can be happy together by fully trusting themselves with each other in domestic bliss for once AND Kon doesn’t have to cry his eyes out knowing he’s an unwanted experiment child who is “undeserving” of family and home who never got to experience childhood

Everyone who's always saying “you can’t trust a Luthor” better shut their trap when Kara walks in with Kon-El Luthor, her newly adopted son, and her fiancé, Lena Luthor. These new moms will tear you apart if you try to instill that internal hatred of being a Luthor in their son’s young mind. 

Kara and Lena both defying what people say about them and instead raising a well adjusted boy from both their warring families. 

Kon is gonna be raised by a true power couple.

DC refuses to deliver on giving this boy a home or parents so I’m gonna do it instead. Just look at the family they could be together:

(FYI: This has nothing to do with the version of Superboy in the Young Justice cartoon TV show, so if you’re only familiar with that you may be a bit confused about this Superboy who that one was loosely based on. This whole punk fitted kid is indeed a real character and I stay pretty close to his original design from 1993.)