#instead of actually studying the impact each other have in the way of thinking SEPARATELY in relation to the overall plot of the story

[marcusrobertobaq]

Indeed, as that mf on Konami's post says...

Hank going against his new morals to help Connor in LCC it's even more funny when Connor remains loyal to CL and Hank gotta go after him searching all Detroit day and night, only to find him in a rooftop ready to kill the revolution Leader xD (that's a damn hunter dog for ya)

In this specific route makes sense Hank being pissed about Connor "pretending to be his friend". I mean, dude def watched the news about Jericho being raided, the news about Cristina getting even more rough with androids and the leaders being wanted for death. Probably thought was his fault almost directly and went face Connor with gun in hand ready to kill the guy.

[opalesense]

How would the genshin Bois, zhongli, childe, diluc and kaeya react to a fem traveller stuck in a wall after a harsh battle, they'll help her get out right?...right?

a sight to behold

zhongli, childe, diluc, kaeya & f!reader (NSFW-ish)

1.9k words • ~13 min. read

warnings: just a lot of teasing & dirty thoughts

notes: i was practically rubbing my hands together with evil intentions when i saw this request but i’ll spare the graphic details for another time, otherwise this will be extremely long!! also i wrote them separately here BUT i wouldn’t be opposed if someone requested them to be grouped together instead... anyway, i hope you enjoy this!! >:)

THE WIDELY FEARED PRIMO GEOVISHAP was certainly a sight to behold from above. You quickly understood why so many people often avoided interacting with this beast – it was intimidating even while it slept soundly, its loud snores echoing throughout the cavern despite being so far down. As you stood on the platform above its sleeping form, you studied its details, noticing the element it possessed and strategizing your combat plan quickly, thankful that you could manipulate an element that targetted its weakness. Once you made up your mind, you let out a huff as you took a leap of faith down, letting your glider save you at the last second before you could actually make contact with the ground.

 Your companion followed behind swiftly, the two of you moving gently around the walls of the cavern, careful not to wake the beast from its slumber. In a low whisper, you began to describe your strategy to your partner, but alas, the beast suddenly awoke and interrupted your planning with a ear splitting roar.

 Without a second thought, the two of you dashed to the creature, loosely following the details of the plan you had based on what you were able to say before you got interrupted. The battle was fine at first, but you soon realized how out of sync the two of you became as the fight progressed. Your elemental reactions were getting poorly timed, and it was difficult to keep an eye on each other’s movements with the beast constantly thrashing about and blocking communication.

 In normal circumstances, the two of you excelled in combat together without needing any other support. Maybe it was bad luck, or maybe you bit off more than you could chew this time, but you noticed you were getting knocked around easier than usual. Things were obviously not going your way and you had to think of a solution fast.

 But before you knew it, your distraction with your own thoughts got the best of you. One single swipe of the geovishap’s tail sent you flying across the cavern towards the opposite wall then tumbling on the ragged, rocky edges of floor, certainly leaving cuts and bruises for later. To make matters worse, one more aggressive roar from the beast shook the walls of cavern enough to send chunks of rock tumbling down towards your injured body. Unable to form coherent thoughts, you knew you didn’t have the strength to escape the avalanche. Instead, all you could do was lay there, helpless and bracing for impact, praying to the Archons that you can be saved.

zhongli

 Zhongli made quick work of the beast, using his shield to deliver an extremely effective counter attack and finishing it once and for all. The creature wailed in pain in its dying moments before disintegrating into dust. He expected to see your face on the other side but alas, you were nowhere to be seen.

 “[Y/N]?” his face tensed as he tried to think of where you could have disappeared to. As his eyes darted around the cavern, he immediately noticed a tiny speck of color amongst the rocks on the wall that resembled your clothing. He quickly sprinted towards you, lifting some of the boulders off of you effortlessly using his geo manipulation.

 He began to subconsciously slow down once he saw the way you were displayed in front of him. Your legs were propped up slightly from the rocks underneath you that caved in from the impact. The way your hips curved up caused your skirt to fold back onto you, leaving you completely exposed under his gaze.

 Ungodly thoughts began to race across Zhongli’s mind. He couldn’t help but slowly undress you in his mind, thinking about all the things he could do to you in this moment of vulnerability.

You poor thing... If only we were not in such a potential dire circumstance of life or death, what would stop me from keeping these rocks on top of you, grabbing those hips, and pressing myself against you? It would be the perfect opportunity to keep you still while I have my way with you... Perhaps I should check to see if you’re okay first, and maybe I can trap you with these rocks myself instead. Certainly I could even lift you in a better position for a better fit...

“Stay with me, [Y/N],” Zhongli snapped out of his fantasy and continued to lift the boulders off of you, wondering if he should really go through with his urges. “You will be okay...”

childe

 Childe had noticed you fly across the cavern in the corner of his eye, and watching you land on the floor at such a fierce impact only fueled him to keep fighting. In a fit of a rage and frustration, he summoned his dual blades and quickly turned the tides of the battle towards his favor. He didn’t even need to watch the beast die to know it was dead within seconds, and after his final blow he quickly dashed towards where you landed only to find out you had been crushed by more rocks.

 He let out another yell of frustration, grabbing the boulders one by one and pushing them off of you. “[Y/N]? Can you hear me?”

 “I’m fine, just get these off of me!” you managed to call out from underneath the pile. Relieved that you were alive and well, he managed to push most of the boulders off but hesitated once he got a good look at the way you were laid out in front of him.

 With your legs dangling off the edge of the pile, your ass was comedically exposed towards him, the rest of your upper half still trapped within the remains of the avalanche. Funnily enough, the hem of your skirt had even got trapped above your hips that you were completely exposed, causing Childe to grin evilly.

 “Well, well, well,” he slowly walked over to you and placed a gloved hand on your bare cheek, still slightly out of breath from the heavy lifting. He gave a gentle squeeze, eliciting a gasp from you. “Is this my reward for helping you? If so, I’ll gladly take it now...”

 “Did you forget that I’m stuck? What if I’m badly injured?!”

 “In that case, I’m sure I can make all the pain go away and replace it with pleasure instead,” he gave one final squeeze and chuckled before walking away to grab another boulder. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding... But once you’re out, don’t expect all this help to come for free, you know.”

diluc

 Diluc watched you tumble across the floor with panicked eyes, immediately worrying about your safety but not letting that distract him from the task at hand. In the heat of the moment under the influence of rage and anxiety, he summoned his pyro manipulation to set his claymore ablaze and deliver multiple final blows to the creature, smashing its figure into bits. The beast cried in its final moments and when he was sure it was dead, he dropped his sword as he sprinted towards you.

 Pure panic settled in once he saw you had been crushed underneath the pile of rocks. He pushed himself to run faster, feeling tears form in the corners of his eyes but ignoring it. He didn’t want to lose you – not this easily.

 “[Y/N]!” he called out once he reached the site, “Can you hear me?”

 “I’m here, Diluc. I’m fine,” you reassured him. He deeply sighed in relief as he began to push the boulders off of you. Thank Barbatos you were alive and well! He shook the thought of you being fatally injured away from the forefront of his mind to focus on getting you out of this mess, using his strength to his advantage. But after a few rocks were pushed off of you, his eyes widened at the sight of you, a sight he will never forget.

 While your legs and upper body were still trapped underneath the pile, the first thing Diluc revealed was your ass, exposed by your skirt that was coincidentally trapped above your hips. Your thighs were pinned together, rubbing gently as you squirmed in the rubbish, trying to wiggle your way out. Or at least, he wanted to believe you were wiggling for the sole purpose of getting out, and not to tease him.

 With a nervous gulp, he averted his eyes away from you and resumed his work on the boulders. His mind couldn’t help but drift away into sinful corners, though. He envisioned the way he could firmly grab your thighs, pull down your underwear and...

 “Don’t scare me like that again,” he took a more lighthearted tone to cover up his urges, “I thought you were surely dead.”

kaeya

 After briefly witnessing you get thrown across the cavern, Kaeya managed to finally stab the beast in such a precise weakness point, making it wail in pain until it slowly withered away in its dying moments. He took no time at all to rush over to you, sprinting faster once he saw that you had been crushed by an avalanche.

 “[Y/N], talk to me,” he subtly asked for reassurance that you were still alive as he began to analyze the situation and pinpoint exactly where you were in all this rubbish.

 “I’m okay,” you weakly muttered with a grin, glad that he had come to your rescue, “Just a little bruised, that’s all.”

 Following the trail of your voice, he put his mind to work. He started to strategically push certain rocks so that others would naturally fall off of you without him needing to lift too much. After awhile, he began to spot one of your arms, then your other arm, and with each rock tumbling down he soon revealed the full picture.

 Or at least, a fraction of the full picture.

 He was relieved to see that you had wrapped your arms around your head for protection before the crash, avoiding what would have been an extremely dangerous injury. With your entire body from the chest down still trapped, you felt the need to stretch out your arms in the newly freed space and take a deep breath, glad to finally have some fresh air. “Good morning,” you joked on your bed of rocks.

 Even though he certainly felt some relief, he couldn’t fight the urge to tease you as he cooed over the sight of you so helpless underneath him. With an evil smirk, he pulled out one of the rocks that was supporting your neck, leaving your head hanging off the edge and eliciting a gasp from you. Before you could protest, he propped himself up against the wall with one arm, his body hovering over you and his crotch just inches away from your face.

 “Look at that pretty mouth of yours... You tempt me even in the most dire situations, sweetheart,” he let his free hand run slender fingers across your scalp, slowly massaging you. “Now that I think about it, I do deserve a prize for saving you, don’t I?”

 “Quit running your mouth and just help me get out of here,” you scolded him jokingly. He laughed and shook his head dismissively as he walked away to get back to work, fighting that strong urge to use your throat in such a vulnerable state.

 “If you say so, sweetheart. Maybe some other time.”

[thechekhov]

Hi! I saw on a post that you're agender and I'm kinda questioning my gender (again) but what interested me more about that post was that you said you believe that gender is a social construct and I'm not really familiar with that theory. I was wondering if you could explain to me what the whole idea is? (bc I kinda only feel like a have a gender in social situations? In my head, my dreams and how I picture myself in the future, I'm genderless idjskahwksjejensj) Sorry for bothering you if I did.

This is a BIG topic and it opens a LOT of wormholes. 

We’re gonna do this in pie slice statements that will hopefully help explain what I mean. Please keep in mind I’m going to simplify many things for the sake of readability.

1) What is a social construct?��

Social constructs are ideas that are negotiated by social groups. Something being a social construct does not make it ‘not real’. 

For example, money is a social construct. Yes, we have cash - coins, credit cards - but these are physical props that are REPRESENTATIVE of the idea of currency. You have some form of credit to your name - the money is a socially agreed-upon idea of value being represented by bills in your hand, by numbers in your bank account. 

[Description: Two humanoid figures are standing side by side. The right-side figure is holding a rock in its hand. 

Right side figure: Let’s agree that this shiny rock is worth 2 sheep.

Left side figure: Sounds fake but ok.]

Technically, countries are also social constructs. We, as a society, negotiate what a country is, and this can be changed.

[Description: Two figures are standing on either side of a dotted line drawn on the ground. The left figure is pointing down at it while the right figure watches, its arms crossed.

Left figure: Let’s pretend that everything on this side of the imaginary line is mine.

Right figure: ...ok but my house is over there.

Left figure: ... for 3 shiny rocks you can come visit.]

Does that mean canada isn’t real? No. (I mean, obviously canada ISN’T real, but we all agree to pretend it is.) The thing that makes it real is that we are in agreement, and all follow the social rules of pretend to make it seem like the Canadian border, the idea of Canadian citizenship, etc... is an objective fact. (It’s not. These are in fact, negotiable limits and parameters. We have laws in place to define it in legal terms, but those laws can be changed, or may change in the minds of communities. That’s why it’s a construct.)

By that same token, I hold the view that gender, as we largely perceive it in modern society, is a construct. Why? Because it is not inherent; we, as a society, negotiate its meaning. 

2) What is gender? 

People will probably fight me on this and that’s fine, but here’s my (simplified) understanding of gender (from someone who personally has none)

Gender is a social category negotiated by cultures based on your assigned or desired role in your community that influences, among many other things, your physical appearance, your role in family units, your expected position in jobs, etc. 

How I think it happened:

[Description: Two figures are standing on either side of the panel, both holding children-looking figures. The one on the left is wearing purple. The one on the right is wearing green.

Green figure: Hey, I’ve got an idea. What if we separate the babies into two groups based on physical traits they have no control over?

Purple figure: Wh-- okay...?

Green figure: And then limit the jobs they can do and the community ritual involvement available to them based on that!

Purple figure: ... I feel like this is going to backfire on us someday.

Green figure: Nah, it’ll be fine.

The past panel is a dramatic closeup on the purple figure’s face - which is featureless - betraying a deeply doubtful emotion. It says nothing.]

Important points to remember: what gender looks like, what the limits are, what the expectations are... are not inherent to any human biology. We make up gender roles. This is evident in the fact that across the world, gender roles differ by culture. The positions people of a certain gender are allowed to take up are different. What is perceived to be ‘girly’ or ‘boyish’ is different across cultures. 

Simply speaking - currently the (western) model we have, dumbed down, is:

You are assigned male at birth because of physical characteristics

You are raised being told to ‘toughen up’ and ‘boys don’t cry’ and encouraged not to show emotions

You are taught to wear male-coded clothes and discouraged from female-coded fashion choices

You are given more opportunities to participate in sports, encouraged to engage in physical activity, etc

You are not expected to need time off for child-rearing 

Here’s where gender as it works in society breaks down into being not a real thing but instead something we thought up: 

Nothing about having a penis necessitates wearing pants. Nothing about having XY chromosomes means you need to keep your hair short. Nothing about your genome makes the experience of nail-polish different for any human being. 

All of these are arbitrary traits we decided were allowed or not allowed to a specific group of people based on entirely unrelated physiology. 

Even if we delve deeper, there is MORE variation among individuals of the same ‘sex’ than there are, on average, of members of the ‘opposite sex’ when compared to each other. 

Many people use the excuse ‘women are physically not as strong as men’ to say that this has an evolutionary aspect driving these cultural, historical, socially-constructed gender requirements. 

But if there was a physical reasoning behind the culturally-set gender-limited job expectations, then we actually WOULDN’T need a traditional binary gender system to sort ourselves into categories. It would simply be decided as a meritocracy - stronger individuals, regardless of gender, would be given physically-demanding jobs. (Also we know that many jobs thought to be ‘traditionally male’ are just the result of sexist bullshit, so this reasoning doesn’t fly any further than I can throw it which is, coincidentally, not very far. Politics is one such area. Doctors are another. We can go on but I think you get my drift.)

My own example of this is an anecdote when my grandparents came to visit my partner and I in Japan. While we were driving down to Tokyo, my grandmother - who has a PhD in entomology - began to say that driving is a masculine activity and women shouldn’t be driving as it was ‘un-woman-like’. My partner almost immediately fired back that in Japan, studying insects or having any interest in them whatsoever was considered a heavily masculine-coded activity. In Russia, there is no such assignment, and my grandmother was left silently blinking in confusion, unable to come up with any excuse except ‘well, all cultures are different, I suppose...’

Do either of these things inherently have a gendered aspect? Of course not! But we assign gendered ideals to them anyway.

3) If gender is made up and constructed by society, then does that mean trans people aren’t real?

No.

Even if you agree that gender is a social construct, trans people are still real. TERFs don’t get a pass. Why? 

Because gender - as a social construct - still affects our everyday lives, dictates our social position in our community. Transitioning is still a thing that has to happen. The fact that you are NOT easily able to decide your own gender and are ostracized for wanting to transition, abused for dressing the way you want to be perceived, and bullied for wanting people to refer to you with different pronouns - all those are the effects of a social construct that has very REAL impact on our lives.

This is also why I dislike defining trans-ness by dysphoria. Because transgender people are not only their suffering - the suffering is coming from the outside!! Many trans people remember not being concerned about their gender identity in their childhood, because they did not yet perceive the world as being hostile to their desire to fulfil a specific role in society. The issues and self-hatred and dysphoria begins when they express wanting to be themselves - a life which they are forbidden from pursuing based on physical characteristics they were born with.

Does this mean we should try to remove gender from society? If we constructed it, we can deconstruct it, right?

Realistically, I highly doubt this is possible. Gender is so ingrained in our daily lives that it would be difficult. Nor, I would say, would it be necessary to achieve world peace. 

Having social groups - having gender - isn’t inherently a bad thing. The bad thing is when we limit those social groups to specific basic human rights, like voting, or when we forbid them from transitioning from one to another based on things that are out of their control. 

Also, I’m not saying genitals and secondary sexual characteristics aren’t real. Please don’t bother sending me that angry message, I’ll ignore it, I promise. 

But the concept of gender IS something we thought up and maintain and negotiate with each other to this very day. It’s not granted to us by a higher power, nor is it a constant, unchanging thing. It’s a part of the human experience and like everything, it has the potential to evolve - as a concept in our communal memory, as well as on an individual level, for people who feel they want to be perceived differently. 

Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk!

[teawaffles]

Louis and the Aquaria: Chapter 3, Part 2

The next morning.

After yesterday’s incident, Moran was keen to know what Louis would do next — and so he headed to the hall with Fred, who presently had some time to spare. Perhaps it was because he’d been working late into the night, for Fred kept yawning as he rubbed his bleary eyes.

But the moment Moran pushed open the hall door, the startling sight before them banished all of Fred’s sleepiness in a flash.

“This is……”

“What the heck is this?” Moran exclaimed.

Dumbfounded, the two men stood where they were.

One corner of the hall—— had been turned into a dense jungle.

Numerous South American trees, planted in giant pots, were now surrounding the angelfish tank. At the same time, the two men were struck by the feeling that somehow, the room’s humidity had risen since yesterday.

Hearing Moran’s shout, Louis poked his head out from behind an ivy-wrapped tree.

“You’re being much too loud in the morning, Mr Moran. It’ll stress out the fish, so please refrain from shouting; but what on earth’s the matter?”

“That’s my line: what have you done here?!”

A flash of light gleamed off Louis’s spectacles.

“I was seeking a more conducive environment for my bro—…… no, the fish, so I have recreated a South American rainforest here. They were ordered a few days earlier, and arrived last night; I’ve just finished arranging them.”

Apparently, the luxurious water plants had just been the beginning for Louis. Even so, Moran had not expected this much progress in one night.

The situation raised so many questions that he had no idea where to begin. But for now, Moran refused to back down, and raised one of the problems at hand.

“First off, you were obviously going to say ‘my brothers’, but still: don’t talk about such grand feats as ‘recreating South America’ so lightly! No, I had a feeling about this. A normal person would reflect on what happened yesterday, and restrain themselves after that — but for you, you’re the type who ends up going amok instead. And yet, I didn’t think you’d do something as drastic as this!”

Moran had launched into a heated tirade, but Louis kept his cool as he replied.

“Thank you for taking the time to point out each and every one of those things. However, I believe I’m treating all of the fish equally; and in my view, it’s unfair to say that I’m favouring some of them just because some plants have been placed at specific areas.”

“What kinda nerve is that, to not even admit it after going this far…….. I mean, you are actually a little aware of it, aren’t you?”

“Also, it’s actually quite amazing that you’ve managed to remain calm all this while, Mr Louis……”

Even after weathering that torrent of questions, Louis was unmoved — and if anything, that had inspired a sense of awe within Fred.

“Well, it was us who said you were free to do as you liked. In any case, your love towards your brothers is certainly terrifying.”

To Moran, it seemed meaningless to continue arguing with the youngest son of the Moriartys, who stubbornly refused to acknowledge his biased rearing of the fish. He gave up trying to persuade Louis, and went on to watch the fish as he normally did.

“…………”

He tried to focus on the vibrant fish before him. And yet, Moran couldn’t help but notice the trees standing at the edge of his sight.

Tormented by that conflict, he finally succumbed to temptation. With sure steps, Moran made his way toward the vegetation, and Fred followed cautiously behind him.

“……Well, if they’re already here, we may as well enjoy them to the fullest.”

Mumbling to no one in particular, Moran walked up to the row of trees. Using one arm to push away the leaves in his path, he moved through the greenery; then, his gaze landed on an aquarium placed on a nearby table. Inside, were some animals with incredibly striking colourations.

“What’re these?”

“They’re indeed very colourful,” Fred remarked.

Within the tank were several tiny frogs. They were a deep blue, and mottled with red.

The two men were full of questions about the presence of these unfamiliar creatures. Nevertheless, out of sheer curiosity, they moved their faces near the tank and peered in.

Louis, who was feeding the other fish, called out to them in a loud voice.

“Please don’t open the tank lid: they may look beautiful, but they secrete a lethal poison so deadly that some indigenous tribes of South America use it to coat the tips of their blowdarts.”

In an instant, Moran and Fred leapt away from the tank. Due to their natural athleticism, the distance they’d retreated was further than that of the average person.

As it were, they had narrowly escaped the jaws of death. But even as the sudden appearance of these poisonous frogs gave them chills, Moran stilled his pounding heart, and shot Louis a look of anger.

“Why are such dangerous things here?! Even recreating a South American environment has its limits, doesn't it?!”

“My apologies. One of my motivations was indeed to recreate the fishes’ native habitat. But more than that, I wanted to prepare for a scenario where Stapleton expresses an interest in other creatures besides fish. Hence, I began rearing these frogs just in case.”

As he said that, Louis made his way beside the tank. Opening the lid just a crack, he tossed in some tiny insects: food for the frogs.

“…………”

Seeing his practiced hand, at this point, the other two men had nothing else to say. In this extraordinary space created within the mansion they lived in on a daily basis, their ability to process information had long since hit its limit.

After confirming that the frogs had eaten their fill, Louis proceeded on an efficient path around the room to check on the rest of the tanks.

Moran gazed into the distance.

“It sure is amazing, what people can do in such a short time……”

But excessive zeal, once taken in the wrong direction, can lead to outcomes no one would’ve expected.

Even as various points had deeply impressed upon them just how amazing Louis was, at the same time, Moran and Fred also grew conscious of a certain truth in life. Once again, they stepped through the row of trees.

The two men parted the curtain of leaves, some part of them nervously wondering if those dangerous frogs had escaped, and walked up to the aquarium they had in mind.

“Oh, there they are.”

Seeing that the tank itself hadn’t changed, Moran finally breathed a sense of relief, and went on to admire the three “Moriarty brothers” swimming within.

The one at the head of the group was ‘William’. Right behind him was ‘Albert’, then ‘Louis’. Within the jungle Louis had created, the three angelfish shone in a way that lived up to their angelic names.

However, in contrast to the joyful Moran, Fred’s expression was serious. He narrowed his eyes slightly.

“Don’t you think…… its movements are a bit awkward?”

“Ah?”

Moran stared at the focus of Fred’s attention. Immediately, he perceived a subtle change in that fish.

Although it seemed perfectly fine at first glance, if one were to observe all three of them carefully, it was clear that the one at the head of the group was swimming a little differently from the other two.

“Is there something wrong?”

Louis came over, sensing something was off. But even before Fred explained the situation, he noticed the abnormality with ‘William’.

He put his face close to the tank, observing the fish for a few moments; but gradually, his expression turned grave.

“Oi, Louis: what on earth’s going on? Could it be that he’s sick?” Moran asked.

Louis placed a hand under his chin, thought for a split second, then quickly made a decision.

“——First, let’s move it to a separate tank. There’s a smaller one near the hall entrance: Mr Moran, please bring it here. Fred: please read the measurements from the devices installed on this tank and report them.”

Hearing those instructions, the two men assumed their roles at once.

Meanwhile, Louis took a notepad from his breast pocket, and checked the emergency response measures he’d studied on his own. Though he had already memorised all of them, he wanted to avoid any potential for error.

Moran returned with a small tank.

“Oi, is this one alright?”

“Yes, thank you.”

First, Louis transferred some water from the angelfishes’ tank into the one Moran brought over, such that it was deep enough for one fish. Then, he set up some equipment to confirm the water temperature and quality once more, then added a bit of salt to the water.

Watching him, Moran cocked his head.

“Why’re you adding salt?”

“Saltwater is an effective treatment for diseases in fish. Though it certainly isn’t all-powerful.” [1]

Saying that, Louis used a net to gently scoop up ‘William’ and move it to the tank they’d prepared. Although there were drawbacks to isolating sick fish, his priority was to stop the disease from spreading, as well as limit any damage that could be caused by the other fish.

As he worked, Louis listened to the measurements Fred read out, but his puzzlement only deepened.

“The water quality and temperature are both normal. As far as I can see, there isn’t any obvious debris or dirt in the tank, and the equipment doesn’t seem to be malfunctioning. In that case, perhaps some foreign substance had entered its food, or maybe it got stressed from its surroundings……”

“Maybe it got bullied by the other fish?” Moran asked.

Louis immediately dismissed that idea. “From what I’ve observed, there were no such quarrels between them. In that case, another possibility I can think of is the change in its environment.”

He cast a sideways glance at the trees surrounding them. And Fred picked up the implication behind that casual gesture.

“By ‘stress’, do you mean these trees? But it’s not like they came into contact with the water, so they probably didn’t impact the water quality, at least not directly. Also, weren’t they only added a while ago? To affect the fish so rapidly……”

“We can’t dismiss that possibility. Perhaps the changes to the view outside the tank had caused some visual stress…… Well, regardless of the reason, the blame for its ill health rests with me: the one in charge of its care.”

“…………”

After isolating the fish, the three of them remained standing where they were.

They gazed at the sick angelfish, swimming alone in its tank, with a sense of misery and frustration growing within them.

Footnotes:

[1] There is some truth to this: Practical Fishkeeping UK

[asherlockstudy]

Rhett and Link’s problems with the Enneagram

I have now watched both Enneagram EBs and the second one actually set my gears to work (So Anon here it comes! I promise it was spontaneous).

After listening to Link and mostly Rhett talk about the Enneagram again and again, I realised I have a problem but I can not place its exact root. There is either something fundamentally wrong with the Enneagram itself or maybe it’s Rhett and consequently Link who talk about it in a way that made me feel a little uncomfortable.

My problem and cause of concern was that everything that was said during the two podcasts had a clear negative tone to it. I will have to bring in myself to it to give you an example so bear with me for a paragraph. I did the test and I am a 5 (Investigator - Observer, something like that) which suits me rather well, especially since it agrees perfectly with my Myers-Briggs INTP type. The results said I was a 5w6 (essentially an emotionless analytical robot) which is definitely wrong as I am clearly a 5w4 (a sad mess who analyses the world and searches pointlessly for the true meanings in life and wants to come up with the ultimate all-encompassing philosophy). I mean, OK, they are not described exactly like that but trust me, that’s the point. But despite all the flaws associated with it, especially in the fields of socialising and tremendous procrastination due to an insane fear of failure, I am actually very much in touch with it. I revel in analysing, in trying to see the bigger picture, to make up my own theory about life and the world. It gives me fuel to go on, it fills me with excitement, it gives me a purpose.

Now, what I kept hearing from Rhett and Link are the things they would hope to run away from. I can’t seem to remember a single positive thing they said about their personalities. All traits they mentioned ( which were all pretty one-dimensional for both I dare say) were presented in the context of torturing them and having to confront them. With these insights in their personalities and the spiritual deconstructions earlier, their old (surprising back then) statement that they are “fundamentally sad people” makes more and more sense. Some of their traits, like Link’s care for perfection to the smallest detail and his moral concerns could have been neutral or positive but, no, they are almost all given as clear negatives or at least as things that have an emotional toll on them.

This gives me the impression that Link and especially Rhett have found comfort in studying the Enneagram and try to find an explanation for what they are like, to feel part of a group, represented in their misery. In short, they focus on the analysis of the flaws of their personalities as a part of who they are and avoid dealing with the root that caused said flaws. Link is more self aware while Rhett still struggles to reach the root of it, which is his childhood. Not that he doesn’t know it but he can’t just deal with the people and the situations that impacted him enough to make him a three. For instance, Rhett seems to believe that he is a natural three that his parents made manifest even more strongly. It could be the case or the threeness we observe in him is the direct product of his parents’ constant judgement. By keeping chanting he needs to “be” instead of “do”, I am not sure Rhett will achieve much. Honestly, the one impactful step he needs to take is to stop caring about what his father thinks and I am sorry to say he is still not near achieving this. Especially when I take into account how scared he was during his videocall with his dad in GMM and how relieved he looked after the call was over without drama. In short, my problem with their take in the Enneagram is that it seems that Three is Rhett’s pack of unresolved issues rather than his complete personality type.

Furthermore, Rhett speaks knowingly about all numbers / personality types which proves he consumes passionately all Enneagram information that is available. For a man of his level of active lifestyle, hectic schedule and impatience, this shows that he indeed seeks comfort in finding a detailed description and an explanation for his personality, for the way he feels and acts. What does this mean? Well, that he does not like the way he feels about himself a lot. Not only that, but he is actually in a search of self. At this point, he is no longer cryptic about it but it is more serious than he lets on. He tries to make sense of himself and he tries desperately to find something in himself to love. I hope there are people in his life who let him know that he is worthy of their love, friendship and appreciation even though he is so deep inside his head that even the affectionate feedback can only help so much. Rhett will start finding some peace only if he takes the one step I mentioned above.

And then it seems that Link’s personality type is also exclusively a byproduct of his childhood and is aggravated by his relationship with Rhett. Link’s perfectionism doesn’t cause him enthusiasm - he just dreads the disturbance of his supposedly perfectly stable world. In all honesty, Link doesn’t strike me as an ambitious person. Link would just love to have his dear routine and a loyal person to share it with. Link needs stability and companionship. He is fine with just one person as long as this person contributes to the stability of their bond. Who that one person is in Link’s life is another story…

Link doesn’t care that much about the creative process and, frankly, he doesn’t care all that much about the comedy. Link cares to keep the environment Rhett and he work stable and safe. For Link, judgement from the audience is not as alarming as Rhett’s frustration because of it. Link cares to ensure that Rhett’s idea will be successful enough to keep working and to keep working together. So Link’s entire self-identification as a one seems to stem from his fear of abandonment and worthlessness only. Link fears he has not much to contribute to Mythical and he tries to counteract that by becoming the ultimate source of management and control. Because if he didn’t even manage the company, then what would Rhett need him for? Hence, Link’s obsession for control is a consequence of his fear, he doesn’t necessarily love to be in control for the sake of it. This is proven by his plane example, which shows that he finally relaxes when he does NOT need to be in control.

Link has been working hard most of his life to ensure his position next to Rhett. This brings even more insight in his resentment for Rhett that explodes from time to time. Link resents Rhett because he tries so hard to be always by his side but due to Rhett’s opportunitism, he can’t tell whether Rhett wants his companionship or he simply needs it for their brand. Even worse, Link dreads that the reason Rhett is his friend is because Link feeds his ego with his loyalty and admiration, because he takes Link for granted and not because he loves Link for who he is.

“Do you care for me or do you revel in the fact that I care for you?”

Now, I can’t get inside Rhett’s head but I doubt he uses people. I believe his genuine care for Link can be found in the weirdest examples - those from which Rhett has nothing to gain i.e getting frustrated when Link doesn’t enjoy food as much. Yes, this is a sign of love. Rhett enjoys food so much that he wants to share that enjoyment with Link. He can’t realise Link’s tongue works differently - he thinks Link is missing out and it frustrates him. Another silly example is Rhett buying Apocalypse equipment for a clearly disinterested Link and probably never getting its money’s worth back. This is important to Rhett for some reason and he is concerned enough to protect careless Link as well despite having no personal gain from it.

The truth is that these two men feed off each other; Rhett keeps Link attached to him to always feel worthy and Link keeps Rhett attached to him to always feel safe. However, the fact that Rhett is almost his entire source of safety and that Link is Rhett’s biggest calibrator of worth is indicative of the levels of love and need. Nevertheless, Rhett and Link are not independent people. They were constantly in search of support from one another and they lost themselves in the process of satisfying others or being safe. This is something they are realising only now.

Link’s fear of abandonment is so big that it frequently leads him to an almost paranoid behaviour. It is crazy that he felt left out when Rhett communicated with the audience during a podcast whose key purpose is to… communicate with the audience. His fear here has two sides: 1) that Rhett didn’t consider him an equally important business partner so he preferred to speak directly to the audience and 2) that Rhett isn’t emotionally invested in him in order to open up to him. And by saying he can deceive people if he needs, Rhett doesn’t help Link overcome his huge insecurities. This is why Link begs Rhett to talk to him about his feelings more. He does not understand whether Rhett loves him or uses him. The notion that Rhett doesn’t truly love or appreciate him is one of his biggest fears in life.

As for Rhett, it is certainly huge growth that he starts opening up and being vulnerable to a few thousand strangers yet it all still derives from his need to be accepted by said strangers as I am afraid that the late disproportionate criticism he gets for silly stuff on Twitter and Tumblr surely don’t help him deal with his issues, no matter how hard he tries. Therefore, Rhett is trapped in a vicious circle. Besides, Rhett was overly sensitive to be hurt when Link stated the obvious; that he was being vulnerable in hopes to be understood and accepted, because that was clearly what Rhett was openly doing. However, having someone discussing openly his vulnerability immediately made Rhett retreat back to his shell because no matter how hard he tries, Rhett hasn’t managed to separate vulnerability from weakness in his mind yet.

Long story short, Rhett and Link might be Three and One respectively but I am not sure they have a good understanding of themselves anyway. They may have figured out their types correctly but they certainly narrow their entire sense of being to their unresolved issues and phobias. They entirely lack a sense of self-worth and they probably have not realised the extent of the traumas in their youth. In the Enneagram language, the nine personality types have nine levels of development. I believe Rhett and Link are either in the average levels or the mildest unhealthy level. They are certainly not in the healthy top three levels.

Their obsession with the Ennegram helps only superficially but they seem to have based an illogically huge part of their self exploration on it. The Enneagram might offer some insight but won’t offer the resolutions they long for and badly need in order to find some relief. The ones that come when you confront your environment instead of overanalysing yourself and beating yourself up because of it.

[picnokinesis]

your profile on ao3 mentions you like Pacific Rim have you ever considered a series 12 cast (so 13 + fam + master) pacrim au? bc weirdly enough i feel like spydoc would actually be drift compatible

OH MY DAYS ok I had to write this out on a note on my phone because I have so many thoughts, pacrim aus come like BREATHING to me, but consider:

Koschei Oakdown (he/him), teenage heir of some kind of rich and powerful business man who moved his family inland when the Kaiju attacks began. His father is essentially grooming Koschei to be his successor, but Koschei has zero interest - all he wants is to go back to the coastal city of Vancouver where he grew up, so he can stay with his best friend Theta Lungbarrow (they/them) and study things he's actually interested, like xenobiology, since he's certain that the only way to defeat the kaiju is to understand them. It only takes a few weeks for him to get sick of the whole thing and run away, heading back to Vancouver - but the day he arrives, the kaiju Karloff attacks. He survives, and finds Theta, who also survived - but their parents were not so lucky. Koschei's parents believe that he's dead, and Koschei has no intention of correcting them on that, and so him and Theta end up in the care of the state, and he begins to start studying xenobiolology. Theta, on the other hand, has become somewhat obsessed with the idea of jaegers, after watching Brawler Yuhkon fight against Karloff - the first jaeger to ever fight a kaiju - and win. They want to build jaegers and be a pilot, and even Koschei won't deny that there's no way the two of them aren't drift compatible.

Fast forward a few years - Theta and Koschei are two young but brilliant scientists working for the PPDC, Theta in J-Tech and Koschei in K-Science. Theta is working on a new technological approach to building jaegers and also messing with the Drift interface, to see if the synchronisation between pilots can be increased, whilst Koschei is looking for weaknesses in the kaiju's biology. However, they're both entirely invested in each other's research and tend to argue quite intensely in order to brainstorm and have breakthroughs - much to the despair of everyone in the j-tech and k-science departments. But one thing Theta wants more than anything is to pilot a jaeger - even though on paper they have no chance, having not been to Jaeger academy or anything. But Caitlin Lightcap (the pilot of Brawler Yuhkon and inventor of the drift interface) also didn't go to jaeger academy. She just put herself in the position where they HAD to let her in a jaeger by completing the first drift with D'onofrio and saving his life. And so, because Theta entirely lacks self preservation, they persuade Koschei that it's a good idea to test out their new drift technology on themselves. Because the other issue is funding - no one wants to support an experimental rig or jaeger design until Theta can prove that it works. So they will.

And that's EXACTLY what they do, and they're extremely lucky it doesn't kill them but they get it to work and it's fantastic. The Drift is stronger than any before it. And so (after the pair of them get pulled out of an experimental rig and get into a LOT of trouble), they manage to persuade the PPDC to 1) let them build a new jaeger and 2) be the two who pilot it, since they've alread forged a drift bond in the new interface.

And so the jaeger Gallifrey Ember is born.

BUT THEN. They have several extremely successful deployments, until one fateful night where it all goes very wrong. I'm not sure exactly what happens because this is all off the top of my head this morning and I'm currently walking to work HAHA but I'm gonna say that maybe Koschei thought there was some xenobiology knowledge that they could use to fight against this specific kaiju (which is something he's done before and it's partly why their missions are so successful) but as he goes to dig for it, he accidentally pulls up the memory of the Karloff attack, and ends up chasing the rabbit. Only, because the new interface has their minds so intertwined, it knocks the pair of them out of alignment even worse than it would have otherwise (especially since their trauma memories are from the same event) and their drift just goes completely. As you can imagine, it all goes very badly a la Gispy Danger vs Knifehead, only the city they're trying to protect gets hit pretty bad and there are a LOT of casulaties - more than ever since the jaeger programme started deploying. I think in the end it's Theta who, mostly bearing the neural load alone, has to do something drastic to stop the kaiju - maybe killing it in a way that spills Kaiju Blue everywhere and just poisons the land/water. Anyway after that Theta is EXTREMELY ANGRY at Koschei, and he's mad at HER for being mad at him because sorry for having trauma memories and accidentally triggering them?? But she's like I KNOW I also have those memories and you left me to basically pilot alone??? But anyway it's all a mess, Gallifrey Ember is basically destroyed and the pair of them are injured, traumatised, and unreconcilable, and so they decide that they're never drifting again and basically go separate ways. No one ever uses Theta's drift or jaeger tech again because it's considered too dangerous or volatile.

FAST FORWARD SEVERAL YEARS AGAIN. Enter Ryan Sinclair - young j-tech engineer who looks at the original Gallifrey Ember specs and is like "hey, no, this WORKED but it's just it went wrong one time and now no one will touch it, but maybe I can fix this old beat up jaeger and make it work again?". And so he rebuilds the jaeger - and names it Gallifrey Inferno instead. But, of course, no one wants to pilot it because of it's history, and also it really needs two pilots who are used to this sort of interface, rather than trying to train two new pilots (also, what new pilots?? The funding for the jaeger programme is getting cut by the day, and the jaeger pilot academies are all getting shut down). So, in short - they need Theta and Koschei back.

Yaz and Graham are there too - Yaz was in jaeger academy, but then the funding got pulled so her cohort got dropped, and now she's a security guard for the Shatterdome, but she still desperately wants to be at the heart of the action and actually making a difference. Graham is one of the guys who drives the carts across the Shatterdome deployment floor HAHA but he's great, he talks to EVERYONE in the Shatterdome and knows exactly what's going on underneath all the bureaucracy. He's also Ryan's granddad - they're somewhat at odds, but they're also both still grieving over the death of Grace, Ryan's nan, who died during a kaiju attack.

And then I have no idea - the three of them team up to drag Koschei and Theta back? Although to be honest I bet if Theta found out they were rebuilding their jaeger, they would be breaking into the Shatterdome IMMEDIATELY, so maybe Yaz catches them sneaking in hahaha. But obviously, even when Theta and Koschei are back together they are very reluctant to drift. I imagine that they both also have a lot of problems with ghost drifitng and stuff because their drift was so strong. And then...I want there to be s12 parallels, but I'm not quite sure what happens but I feel like Theta ended up being made to work on some weird slightly unethical drift project by the people who control the funding of the PPDC because they want to know more of the impact of the drift on the human brain, especially such a strong drift (I'm thinking like...ok so in one of my favourite pacrim fanfics, Newt gets forced to work in a drift project after his kaiju drift, but he keeps the fact that Hermann also drifted secret to protect him - but it ends up being pretty rough for Newt) but then obviously they're forced to keep the whole thing secret so they don't even tell Koschei. But eventually when the pair of them drift again, Koschei finds out (which then is the equivalent of him finding stuff in the Matrix). But he doesn't find out everything because it's all a mess and maybe the drift is off kilter because of it? Not sure. But yeah! This is all extremely rough so...y'know. Could probably develop it further. My only other thought is that the other jaeger pilots are alternate versions of thoschei or doctor-companion team ups.

[x0401x]

Animate Times Interview with Centimillimental

Discussing his journey so far and his love for this series, saying that he “felt something like fate” upon coming across “Given”! Interviewing Centimillimental, who did the theme songs and sound production of the summer anime “Given”.

The artist Centimillimental composed the opening of the TV anime “Given”, which aired in Fuji TV’s Noitamina and gathered a great amount of attention. Garnering comments about the sound production of the show’s band, Given, he released the opening theme “Kizuato” as a single on September 11!!

This is the debuting work of the solo unit Centimillimental, in which Atsushi-san does the vocals, keyboard, guitar and programming. In this article, which is surprisingly his first-ever interview, we shall introduce plenty of his journey until reaching this point and his thoughts regarding “Given”!

His current style was earned through “wanting to express joy and sorrow with music” as much as possible.

——Thank you for your time today!

This is actually my first time being interviewed (laughs). I will be in your care.

——Your first interview?! Please let us ask all kinds of questions. Firstly, could you tell us about the origins of Centimillimental?

Although it has the name Centimillimental, this is a solo unit. Rather than a singer and songwriter, I am more of a solo artist with a band stance. But it was originally a band. The band name remained just the way it was... that is all.

——What sort of band was it?

A four-piece one, with myself in charge of the vocals and keyboard. The band had a style close to pop, with a lead guitar, bass and drums, but the members pulled out one after another... Ultimately, I was the only one left. For that reason, people from the live concert houses were quite uneasy. Like, “Does the vocalist have a nasty personality or something?” (laughs).

——(Laughs) That is so not true.

Each one quit for their own reasons. But I had an obsession with the band, so I was like, “I’ll do this even if it’s just out of stubbornness” (laughs). And so, the band name stayed.

——Atsushi-san, what are the roots of your admiration for bands?

My root is Remioromen. I actually used to play classic music. I was so much of a classics boy that I would... turn off the TV whenever a music program was starting, but when (an insert song) “Konayuki” started playing in the drama “1 Liter no Namida”, which I watched back in fifth grade, it had an impact on me. Like, “So a singing voice can be this cool when it accompanies a melody”. From then on, I began looking up to bands.

——How did you handle classics from that point onward?

I continued playing for a long time, until I was around 20 years old. But then I was charmed by pop music and could no longer dedicate myself to classics (strainer laugh). I used to dream of becoming a pianist, but I felt that the mindsets of classics and pop were different, and then chose the way of pop.

——When you think about it now, what do you believe to have been the reason that a classics boy had his heart stolen by pop?

I had the feeling... that something more essential for my inspiration was set on fire, so to say. I think this something also exists for people who like classic, but in my case, I personally felt joy at the fact that “their singing voice is cool”, “their words pierce me”. So I was like, “This is what I actually prefer”. Also, I was drawn to the freedom of pop. The world of classics is devoted to music sheets, so in concourses, for example, it is important whether or not you can play true to the sheets, but I end up playing the way I want to on my own accord. Which is why the judges’ votes became worse year after year (bitter laugh). During this, there were also people who told me, “This is an insult”... But if I were in a world of originals where I could give birth to my own songs, wouldn’t my beliefs be justice? So I started to think that I was “the kind of person who wants to express himself freely”. To begin with, I have liked creating things since the distant past. I used to write stories of my own and making picture books with them in preschool, and from first grade on, I would be writing song compositions and poems. At any rate, I like creating things, so wouldn’t making them freely suit me better?

——So, if it is on the topic of “wanting to create things freely”, the way you are now is best, in a sense?

That is right (laughs). My degree of freedom has increased ever since I went solo. One of the reasons the band did not work was that my ideals and the image of my unshakable, inertial nature were very strong. I believe that so-called bands are supposed to get together in a studio and consolidate and gather up arrangements, but right as we formed ours, I would take the stance of writing down everyone’s parts and saying, “I want you to play this”. So I think that the current Centimillimental is what turned out from me doing everything I could, the place that I was supposed to reach.

——Nowadays, you are in charge of all parts, right? Did you play instruments other than piano from the start?

That is not the case. When our guitarist left the band, I did not want the quality of our music to be reduced, so I thought about supplementing it somehow, then learned how to play guitar. Also, I had to put my heart into it, but I started studying bass and drums when the others left, wondering if I could cover for them. The fact that the members pulled out had an influence on it.

——How was it coming in contact with instruments besides the piano?

The structures are completely different. Bands are formed so that each person can compensate for the other. When it comes to the beauty of such arrangements, I came to feel them more keenly the more I delved into them. And then I started obsessing with the arrangements.

——After these twists and turns, did Centimillimental become in 2015 what it is now?

No, there were actually twists and turns from this point on too... There was once a time when the band became just the bassist and me. Back then, the band was not doing too well, so we decided to do a different unit. That was the band called “Nee, Wasurenaide Ne” (“Hey, Don’t Forget”). In the end, I mostly had to do it by myself, but doing things separately from the main activities gave me a high degree of freedom. And then people started finding us interesting and we gradually earned their praise. For me, that was extremely frustrating (laughs

——So it became a “sub”-like band.

That is right. And then I thought about quitting, so I applied for an audience as a commemoration for quitting, to make one last memory... but then the work I had applied won a Grand Prix. I was like, “No way!?”. This happened in summer 2015. And that was when the main and sub switched (laughs). And so, only the band’s original name remained. The label respects us in the sense that we “can make the music that we always wanted to”.

——What is the origin of the band name “Centimillimental”?

“Remioromen” is a coined word, so I looked up to a coined word in katakana. I personally like katakana. Plus, I like “sentimental” things. That sentimental feeling when you are going home after a fun day thinking, “Today was a good day” and it suddenly makes you feel lonely, or that sentimental mood from when you are purely sad... I believe that sentimental emotions regarding anything are something that we should nestle close to. I had this thinking that I want to express joy and sorrow with music, so while using “sentimental” as the pillar, I added the “milli” with the meaning of “not being too caught up with it”.

——Come to think of it, both “Given” and “Kizuato” are written in katakana.

I guess I have a connection with katakana (laughs). If the words are in kanji or in hiragana, doesn’t that change the appearance and interpretation of each? While katakana has a coldness to it, it doesn’t feel too sharp. I have the feeling that these kinds of words are interesting.

“Gender doesn’t matter when you’re in love with someone.” – He also has experience with composing music having a BL series as the impetus?!

——How did you feel when you received the proposal about “Given”?

It was the first tie-up of my life, so I turned into a mess of nervousness, uncertainty and expectations. But “Given” is a series about music and the theme is bands, which was something I looked up to. Moreover, rather than just the sparkle and shine of a band, it also focuses on sadness, the tremor from losing something... these delicate parts of it.

I think music has a close relationship with meetings and partings, so I felt happiness to be involved with a series that faces this directly. It was like something that was supposed to come at me had arrived, and at the same time, I felt something similar to destiny. That was my first impression.

——The sensible portrayal is one of the charms of this series, right? I read on the topic that this series was the first-ever BL comic that Noitamina has adapted into anime, and there is an indescribable appeal in the words “boys’ love”...

It allows you to smoothly immerse yourself into their worldview, right?

I have bought a BL manga in the past. In my middle school days, buying a book after looking at just the title was trending. At the time, what I took in my hands was a short story collection titled “Saigo no Sangatsu”. I thought at first, “I might’ve jumped into a terrible world!” but turns out it was a really good work...

Gender doesn’t matter when you love someone; it’s all the same. It was a really good work, so I was quick to wrote a song for it (laughs).

——That is a good story. By the way, did you use to watch anime back then?

I was not the type to watch anime in-depth. But what I thought to be odd was that, whenever you finish watching a series, doesn’t the way that you listen to the opening themes, ending themes and insert songs change?

Through the filter that is the series, the tone of the music changes, and the story stands out instead as the music overlaps with it... While watching, I would find myself thinking that this way of snuggling up to the music was interesting.

——What were your impressions when you read the original work of “Given”?

Kizu Natsuki-sensei’s focused viewpoint on pain is quite sharp. Her poetic depictions, which sometimes get you caught in them, are impactful and sensible. I thought it was a series that cherished words a lot. Since it is a manga, I think the art is the main point, of course, but I felt a literary beauty in it that resides not just in the drawings. It also felt close to the world of songs that I take part in, so I truly had the feeling that it was fate.

——So the image of the song came readily to you?

Right you are. That is where I arrived once I wrote down my own perspective of romantic love and the ways that people become involved with each other. The sense of suitability was incredible. That’s why I was able to write it so frankly, managed to say what I wanted to, and got close to the series. I feel that the compatibility was really good.

But of course, there were walls. I write even the arrangements by myself, so I had to make changes over and over, and I had never had any experiences with being the producer of a band before, so there were things I was not used to. Also, my main instrument is the piano, but there is no piano in the show. That’s why I had to delve into the guitar, so there I had a hard time sound-wise...

“I want it to be an important song for everyone from ‘Given’ too!”

——Can you tell us about your particularities regarding the sound of “Kizuato”?

For the anime size version, I purposely sealed away the piano and classic strings that I had been specializing in until now. For the whole song, in order to nestle closer to “Given”, I cherished the band’s scene, with a guitar, bass and drums.

——I felt a big meaning in the fact that it starts with a breath. Is it something that you gave importance to?

I like the sharpness of songs that start with the singing. That feeling of getting taken aback without thinking. Same goes for sighing - I feel that people’s emotions mount on their breathing. Through “the drawing of a breath”, you can sense a beauty and strength unique of vocal songs. For that reason, I cherished the breaths from the very start.

I also think that the breaths are very important in “Given”. For example, in the teaser trailer, the video ends with a breath, and in the PV, the scenes change with breaths too. That’s why I think it was good to be able to start the song like this.

——I felt that the lyrics portrayed the sensible feelings of all four, starting with Mafuyu, but how was it made?

They are human beings, so I think there is definitely a part of their emotions somewhere that they can share. The loneliness and agony of losing something, the conflicts of loving someone... anyone has that. I looked for keywords that would connect everyone from “Given”, including me. For me and for all the characters that appear in “Given”, it could not be a lie...

——The “four seasons” bit in the lyrics was also a good keyword.

I think that is one of the main points of the series, and that this part of it can connect even within me.

——The words “I can hear it and it’s still real, so I’ll carry your heart in your place” from the latter half are extremely painful, but at the same time, it conveys resolve and determination. Were you conscious of the machinations of their hearts or something like that within the song?

I think it is wonderful when emotions get into motion as the song goes on. Aren’t there moments in everyday life where wounds heal little by little and changes of heart where we try to get back on our feet even if they do not heal? I like story-songs that head towards hope in this fashion. I also want everyone in “Given” to be happy. I gave importance to how they should head towards hope while sharing those wounds.

——The song changes dramatically after the aforementioned verse.

I finished it with a classic orchestra sound. That is one of the strong points of my music, so I had the desire to approach “Given” through it. If I sealed away my music too much and made it into just a “Given” song, it would feel like I was standing on formality. I am a person who gets hurt and even so lives on crying and laughing, just like them. I pieced together that part of the song because I wanted to convey this message.

——So you let your uniqueness show in order to join hands with “Given”. Indeed, both with love and friendship, getting close to the other person is not all there is to it.

Right. That alone is not a connection, and you end up concluding that your own love is too deep... I believe there is a 50:50 beauty to it. Isn’t that what acknowledging one another and joining hands means?

“Kizuato” is my debut song and an important song for me. That’s why I also want it to be an important song for everyone from Given (the band). I thought about intersecting that. After thinking a lot, I managed to change the charm between the anime size and the full size.

At the beginning of the A-melody from the second chorus, I tried changing the rhythm, transforming it into an electro loop, and did all sorts of approaches. I hoped it would be wide-ranging as music.

——How did you feel when you watched the opening?

I was extremely moved. I had gathered with all the recording members to watch it, and everyone shared their joy too. It was a really good scene.

Having my own music playing in sync with an animation was my dream, so I was tremendously happy, and I felt like I had connected with the viewers who had the same feeling... I was truly overjoyed.

When I looked on Twitter, people had written up several opinions, making me go, “So there’s this many people enjoying my music”.

“It’s exactly because the desire to protect someone isn’t something simple that we feel uncertain.”

——Other than the OP, you also did the sound production of the band Given, so what impressions did you have from the production work?

I already liked production work to begin with. Until then, I had been doing producer-like things, such as arrangements for the musical compositions of artists around me, but this was my first time doing production as a job.

I mentioned Remioromen earlier, but I also looked up to Kobayashi Takeshi-san, who was Remioromen’s producer as well, so I had also wanted to work on production one day.

——Given’s debut single, “Maru Tsuke/Fuyu no Hanashi”, was released on September 18 2019. “Maru Tsuke” is also included in Centimillimeter’s single as a self-cover, but what kind of route did you take to complete this song?

To tell the truth, I had a song called “Maru Tsuke” for quite a long time. I already had its base form since 2015, so the song was in a state similar to an accompaniment material.

“Maru Tsuke” came into light during the meetings, and I didn’t think this song would have made it into the topic of discussions, so I was surprised. I was anxious at first, but when I tried facing it once again, there were so many fitting aspects to it that it even made me say, “So it can get this close to the series”. I felt like it connected with “Given” on a deep level, despite not having written that song for it.

——Holding someone dear, becoming a coward because of it, shouldering all sorts of feelings, and continuing to live in spite of that... What you talk about in “Maru Tsuke” might be things that everyone thinks.

The moment you start loving someone, you feel fear at the same time and become fragile. It’s exactly because the desire to protect someone isn’t something simple that we feel uncertain, and there is not only light to it, but I think loving someone is something beautiful. I get the sense that this swirling feeling itself is beautiful. That is what I threw into the song, and it was also one of the themes of “Given”. The fact that I managed to connect them goes without saying, but it’s like being told that I wasn’t mistaken about the things I gave importance to, which made me happy. In order to connect even better, I reconstructed the sound making and structure one more time, aiming for higher heights as a composition for “Given”.

——What were you conscious of for the direction?

Yano Shougo-san (the voice of Mafuyu) is a workaholic, so he sings all sorts of songs, but I thought there was a difference between songs sung by band vocalists and songs sung by voice actors. So I figured that it would be good if I could share with him the methods of band vocalists and band sounds in my own way, thus I have him that kind of direction.

I was also very conscious of “conveying words”. I believe that the author, Kizu Natsuki-sensei (who is also a producer of Given), also cherished words a lot. I think this also reflects on the songs.

——Was there anything you felt when you actually conducted the production?

First of all, I was extremely happy that a song I made was sung. It was expressed in a way that I myself couldn’t do, and even if the emotions are the same, the way people view it changes depending on who’s singing. Seeing it hand-in-hand with the series, spreading up just like that and growing bigger made me happy.

——The other song, “Fuyu no Hanashi”, played during the show in episode nine.

From the very beginning, there was already a song titled “Fuyu no Hanashi” in the drama CD, but this song began from me creating a new “Fuyu no Hanashi”. “Fuyu no Hanashi” already existed for the fans, so I saw plenty of everyone’s love for it on Twitter and such, and also how it comes close to their daily lives. I dreaded painting over it, but... I believed it was fate that I had received this proposal, so I thought, “I’m going to do all I can”. While there was pressure, there was also joy, so it was a strange feeling.

To tell the truth, when I received the proposal for “Given”, the offer for “Fuyu no Hanashi” came first-thing. That’s why I actually started the production from there. Afterward, I received proposals for the session track that plays in the middle of the show and for the theme songs... That is how it went.

——Was that so?! The seed, the piece that would give you most pressure came first, so to say.

That’s right. But for me, this was a comfortable wall. I worked on it while thinking that, if I could make many people happy with it, then it would be a big step for me.

——What kind of feelings did you put into it?

I figured it would probably be used for the live concert scene in the middle of the show, so I read the scene and imagined the concert over and over. In the drama CD, it could only be portrayed with sounds and voices, so I think they probably gave importance to how they would insert the monologues into the lyrics. In the anime’s case, there would be an animation accompanying the song, so I reflected on what the “Fuyu no Hanashi” that I could compose was. Like a shout for a person who has been lost... It’s a requiem, but also a follow-up of one’s true intentions... I wanted to treasure those messed-up feelings. Also, I thought it was a song that had been preciously loved until then, so I had a strong sense of duty not to ruin this.

Being involved with “Given” changed his life!!

——Could you also tell us about the track “Sessions” (The Seasons) that plays during the show?

I received the proposal for this one after “Fuyu no Hanashi”. “There’s a scene in the show that goes like this, so if you’d like, couldn’t you make a track for it,” they asked.

I had never made an actual instrumental band track. Counting the fact that three pieces had already been decided for the story, it was quite a pressure on me.

When I actually watched the scene where they are performing it in the anime, my spirits went right up. Like, “So this is how the band will go”. The sensation that oozed from my hands and spread into me felt truly good.

——Lastly, Atsushi-san, could you tell us... about the things you have realized and earned through the music production of “Given”?

It’s a series that has several places where everyone can join hands. I think that is exactly why so many fans love this work.

Being involved with “Given” has changed my notions of life, and I feel that it was a huge feat, if only for my musical life. I am filled to the brim with happy feelings for being part of it.

——Thank you very much for telling us so many things today.

[shoutobabes]

An excerpt from an OCxShouto fic I’ve been working on:

———————————————

Todoroki Shouto hated formal events.

He had attended enough Hero Awards Galas as a young child with his father to soil his opinion of them nearly two decades later, a pro hero in his own right. But tonight was not about his father.

Still.

He drummed his fingers on the fine linen tablecloth and watched as the drink in his glass vibrated slightly with each tiny impact. Taptaptap. Taptaptap. Shouto allowed a small trail of frost to travel up the table inching toward the glass. The bottom began to dust with frost. The water at the bottom began to freeze. Taptaptap. Taptaptap. Taptap--

“Will you stop fucking doing that?”

Shuoto whipped his head up to see a pair of angry red eyes glaring at him. Bakugo drove an accusatory finger toward Shoto’s glass.

“You’re like an antsy kid,” Bakugo huffed. “I don’t wanna be at this shit-parade any more than you do, icy hot, but you don’t see me blowing up the fucking finger cakes, do you?”

“I’m not taking Kacchan’s side, Todoroki,” Midoriya spoke up from his seat between the two feuding heroes. “But you do certainly seem on edge and, well,” Midoriya gulped and glanced toward the stage. “Our category is two away and I’m nervous enough as it is.”

Shouto blinked. “I can stop tapping the table.”

“Yeah, and then you’re gonna start shaking your leg like you were half an hour ago before you started tapping the goddamn table,” Bakugo crossed his arms and faced back toward the stage. “Take a fuckin’ walk. Do a guided meditation in the men’s room, for all I care, but if you stay here you’re gonna piss me off.”

Shoto turned to face Midoriya, often the peacekeeper in these altercations.

Midoriya seemed to be very interested in his napkin.

“Alright, then,” Shouto stood and fixed his tuxedo jacket. “I can take a hint.”

“It’s nothing personal,” Midoriya waved his hands while shaking his head. “It’s just--”

“He gets it, Deku,” Bakugo rolled his eyes.

“Sorry,” Midoriya said, sheepishly.

“I’ll be back in time for the award announcement,” Shouto said as he walked away.

A walk was probably for the best.

Shouto wove his way through tables and chairs full of politely clapping patrons and pro heroes who were practically unrecognizable in their finery outside of their suits and gear. He recalled his father complaining about being forced into a tuxedo for these types of events. His mother would always wave them off wistfully, recounting times when she had been the No. 2 hero’s plus one while Fuyumi cried at being left behind and Natsuo would mope and pretend he didn’t care. Touya would just sit and stare. Until he didn't.

So lost in thought was Shouto, that he didn’t notice the girl in front of him until it was too late. Suddenly, he was staring at the empty glass in his hand trying to make his brain connect it to the growing wet spot on the front of the girl's dress.

Their eyes locked for a moment of shocked silence; silver and turquoise meeting violet eyes widened. A beat passed. Shouto regained his composure.

“My humblest apologies,” he finally said with a small bow. “I have no excuse. I wasn’t looking where I was going and I—“

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” the girl shook her head with a small smile. She had long, silver-white hair parted cleanly down the middle. “Not to brag or anything, but I’m kind of a dry cleaning expert.”

She lifted an arm and made a grabbing motion over her chest with one hand and Shoto watched as the spilled champagne drew itself out into a bubble of liquid. It hovered for a moment, then with a flick of the girl’s wrist, it flew into the pot of a nearby plant.

“Looked a little thirsty,” the girl said with a conspiratorial wink. “No harm no foul. Looks like you could use another drink, though.”

“Isn’t that my line?” Shouto raised a slight brow, elemental quirks were always fascinating and he met so few others with quirks like his. “I’m the offender in the situation, I feel as though it’s only right I’m the one buying you a drink.”

“Well then, it seems we’re in agreement,” the girl gestured to the corner of the room where the bar was set up. “We’re heading to the bar.”

Shouto nodded as the pair made their way over. He gave the girl a once-over; she seemed familiar but he didn’t recognize her as a hero in the Musutafu region or anywhere in Japan for that matter. She wore a simple, pale lavender gown.

“Gin and tonic,” Shouto told the bartender before nodding to his companion. “And for you?”

“Could I get a lemonade?” She asked, with a tilt of her head. “Oh, and if you have some sort of strawberry syrup could you mix that in, too? Thanks.” She grinned at the bartender as he nodded before walking away. She turned to Shouto who admittedly, realized he looked surprised.

“You don’t drink?” He asked.

“Can’t stand the taste,” she replied.

“I see.”

She studied him for a moment. Shouto felt as if he were under a microscope, being picked apart like a bacteria. Normally being analyzed like this would make his skin crawl, yet there was no malicious intent behind the girl’s eyes. Merely a curiosity, as if he were a puzzle she was trying to solve. The bartender brought over their drinks and the girl took a sip before suddenly breaking the silence.

“Why do you look like a turkey come late November?”

“I’m sorry?” Shouto squinted in confusion.

“My bad, I forget I’m not in the States anymore,” she self-consciously tucked hair behind her ear. “I meant to say, why do you look like this is the last place in the world you want to be?”

“The states?” Shouto asked. “Is that where you’re from?”

She wrinkled her nose. “I suppose, technically.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Well to be fair, you never answered my question.”

“And what was your question?”

“Why do you look so miserable to be here?”

Shoto grimaced delicately and took a gulp of his drink. “Ask any other question and I’ll answer that instead.

“Ah, so this is off limits, then,” the girl waggled her eyebrows. “Fine. How about...what brings you here tonight?”

Shoto sighed. That, at least, he could answer.

“My agency is up for an award tonight,” he said. “My partners and I are here in the hopes we receive it.”

“An award! How exciting,” the girl gave Shoto a funny look, as if she knew something he didn’t. “I’m sure you’ll win.”

“It would be an honor,” Shoto said slowly, feeling as if he were being left out of some joke. “To know that the people we are striving to serve believe in us so much.”

“Of course,” the girl nodded. “Your turn. For questions, that is.”

Shoto hummed in response as he took another sip. “I’m assuming that inquiring about the reason you’re drinking lemonade is...off limits?”

The girl sipped her own drink through the small straw that had come with it. “You learn quick! Beauty and brains, the ladies must love you.”

Shouto’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “I wasn’t aware that having one precluded the occurrence of the other. Brains and beauty are two separate elements, their probability of occurring are in no way reliant upon the occurrence of the other.”

“Absolutely true, shame on me for assuming,” she nodded seriously. “But I didn’t hear a question there. Do you forfeit your turn?”

“No,” Shouto protested. “Fine. What do you mean you’re ‘technically’ from the States?”

“Oh, that,” she waved her hand absentmindedly. “I was born there, and I did spend my high school years there, but I spent most of my childhood here and this is where all my fondest memories are from.”

“I see,” Shouto replied.

“I think of myself as being from Kanagawa,” she clarified. “Coastal. I was always fond of the ocean.”

“Did that have to do with your quirk?” Shouto asked, recalling the way she had manipulated the liquid from her dress.

The girl opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off by sudden loud cheering from the other side of the ballroom.

“That’s right folks— the award for Best Upcoming Agency goes to Plus Ultra! The hero agency run by graduates of our very own U.A. High School! Please give a hand to the heroes Deku, Dynamight, and Shouto as they come up to collect their award.”

“Shit,” Shouto cursed. He had promised Midoriya he would be back in time. “My apologies again, but I need to go immediately.”

“More apologies,” the girl joked, finishing off her drink. She set it on the bar next to Shouto’s half finished one. “Run along and don’t miss your big award!”

Shouto was already halfway across the ballroom. As he joined his partners on stage, Midoriya was at the microphone holding the award and delivering a speech of gratitude. Bakugo elbowed Shouto as discreetly as he was capable of doing anything discreetly and shot him a dirty look for being late.

“I deserve that,” Shouto whispered.

“Damn right,” Bakugo hissed.

“—in conclusion, we would just like to thank you all from the heart of the Plus Ultra Agency. We could not do this without your continued support and we will continue to go above and beyond to keep you safe! Plus Ultra!” Midoriya smiled brightly as he finished his speech.

The three posed on stage for a few quick photos, then stepped down.

“Todoroki, is everything all right?” Midoriya asked immediately. “It’s unlike you to be late.”

“My apologies,” Shouto cringed inwardly, he had apologized too many times tonight. The words were starting to ring hollow to even his own ears. “I was taking a walk when I accidentally bumped into—“

“Me, actually,” the girl from earlier materialized from the crowd behind Shouto as she stepped forward. “Literally, in fact.”

“Ms. Kagawa!” Midoriya gasped. “I had no idea you would be here tonight, I’m so sorry! I would have said hello earlier.”

Shouto blinked. How did Midoriya know her?

“Please, no formalities,” Kagawa shook her head. “Call me whatever you prefer, it’s just nice to finally meet you all.”

That’s when it clicked. Shouto recalled a team meeting from the month before.

———————

“Why are we bringing in some random chick, again?” Bakugo groaned, putting his feet up on the table from where he was sitting in the conference room. “We don’t need any extra help, hell, I could run this place alone if I wanted to!”

“Well, it’s like I said,” Midoriya replied patiently. “We did great for it being our first year as full heroes running our own agency together. But if we want to keep growing and getting better, we’ll need more than a few sidekicks and interns. We’re going to need another pro to help carry the weight and round out patrols. I thought we all agreed?”

“We did,” Shouto didn’t look up from his paperwork. “Bakugo conveniently chose to forget.”

“Fuck off, icy hot,” Bakugo said. “Whatever. At least this chick seems like she could give some of these thugs a run for their money. Wasn't she like, some big deal in America?”

“She was,” Midoriya clicked his pen nervously. “She’s had a, uh, difficult road. I’m hoping we’ll be able to help her as much as she’ll help us. Or at least that’s the plan. She won’t be here for another couple months, she’s wrapping up her personal business I think.”

“Mm,” Shouto intoned, absentmindedly.

—————————-

Shouto cursed himself for not paying more attention to important meetings. Yet, none of them had expected her so early.

“We weren’t expecting you so soon,” Midoriya said nervously, voicing Shouto’s thoughts. “You weren’t due for ah, another month?”

“You’re right,” Kagawa said sheepishly. “I closed in on an apartment here sooner than expected and, well, wanted to just get on with it.”

“Of course,” Midoriya nodded. “Ah, but we should do formal introductions!”

“Yes, right,” Kagawa nodded with a smile. “Well I already know you from our correspondence! Midoriya Izuku, hero name Deku, a pleasure.”

Midoriya smiled and they shook hands.

“Bakugo Katsuki, hero name Dynamight,” she cracked a lopsided grin. “I’ve heard...explosive things.”

“Shitty joke,” Bakugo shook her hand. “People only say the best shit about me.”

“Obviously,” Kagawa nodded before turning to Shouto. “And of course, we’ve already been acquainted. Todoroki Shouto, hero name Shouto, a pleasure.”

Shouto shook her hand. She had a firm grip. “I’ve made...better first impressions.”

“No, I enjoyed it,” Kagawa said. “It was genuine. You had no cause to act unnaturally to make a good first impression. It was...refreshing.

“That’s a polite way of saying he fucked up,” Bakugo chuckled.

She smiled. “Now for me, I suppose. Kagawa Ren, hero name Kaguya. But you’re hiring me, I’m sure you know.”

“We’re really excited to have you!” Midoriya said, beaming. “My, uh, my friend Uraraka--”

Bakugo barked out a laugh and Shouto suppressed a small smile.

Midoriya began to sweat. “Anyways, um, she- she couldn’t make it tonight because she had to go visit her parents but she’s been excited to have another female hero around. She says our agency is too filled with testosterone.”

“Sounds like me and Uraraka will get along swimmingly.” Kagawa assured.

“Are we still getting drinks to celebrate?” Bakugo said impatiently. “I told Kirishima he could meet us at that shitty bar we always go to.”

Midoriya ran a hand through his hair. “Uh, yeah, yeah we are, just, I wanted to talk with Kagawa about some details really quick.”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “And we can’t do that at the bar? She can come, it’s her celebration now too, or whatever.”

“Just tell Kirishima he can meet us there in thirty,” Midoriya pleaded. “I’ll make it quick. Here, Kagawa, why don’t you walk with me back to our table? I’ll grab everyone’s things and we’ll meet Bakugo and Shouto by the front.”

Kagawa nodded and raised two fingers in a peace sign as means of saying goodbye to the other two heroes as she and Midoriya headed back to the table in conversation.

Shouto looked back at Bakugo who was busy texting.

“I suppose we should head toward the front,” Shouto said uncertainly.

“Yeah, whatever,” Bakugo clicked his phone off and shoved it in his pocket. “So, you talked to her.”

“I did.”

Bakugo rolled his eyes. “Talking to you is like pulling teeth. What did you think of her?”

“I thought she was smart,” Shouto replied simply. “It seems like she’ll make a strong addition to our team.”

“That’s boring shit,” Bakugo huffed. “If Midoriya hired her then I’m sure she’s professional as fuck but don’t wanna spend my time around some shitty boring suit. So, is she gonna be annoying or not?

Shouto sideyed Bakugo as they turned and began walking toward the front. Social interaction had never been his strongest suit. Most interactions he felt like he was a step behind, or focused on the wrong thing, or someone would say something and he would think they were serious only to realize there was a second, different meaning attached. Mostly, he thought conversations were a bit of a minefield, especially with the wrong kind of person.

He thought back to the way Kagawa had studied him. No judgement, just-- curiosity. The good kind. Not like reporters who were always hungry for photos, desperate to know about his love life, dying to hear what restaurant he best liked to dine at so they could stalk him there later as well. No, her curiosity reminded him of when he and his siblings used to go play by the creek near their house as children, before Endeavor began isolating Shouto for training. They would freeze the water in the middle of summer and slide around, pulling frogs and turtles out from frost-covered hidey holes. One day in particular, they had found a small family of deer. They all sat very still by the edge of the water and waited patiently as the fawns ambled down for a drink under the watchful eye of their mother. One fawn had gotten so close to Shouto that their noses nearly touched, and he could smell the breath of the little thing, sweet and springy. He’d looked in its eyes and saw them searching his face. What it found, he did not know.

That had been the last summer of freedom.

“I don’t think she’ll be boring,” Shouto finally said.

“Another stunning review from half and half,” Bakugo rolled his eyes and crossed his arms as the boys came to a halt in front of the entrance to the hall. “She better come to get drinks with us or I’ll think she’s a stiff.”

Shouto slid his eyes back over to the ballroom where Midoriya and Kagawa stood, gathering jackets and talking.

“I guess we’ll have to wait and see,” he said.

[onf-headcanons]

Another OFFICE AU aka CEO AU

A/n : Alas its not draft clearing but a brand new work for 2021 (but i still have some drafts as well)XD Hello, did any of you remember an idea dump I dropped for last year Christmas? you could easily guess which was it by tallying the mood board with the idea lists (*winks)

Setting :

1. OFFICE AU 2 , it is a brand new one where ONF member is a young CEO while you are his secretary. So I will name this one as CEO AU

Of course it does not hurt should you wanna imagine it as the already exist office au, using the idea dump posted for 2020 Christmas.

2. ONF MEMBER that I will integrate would be Hyojin and Seungjun as mentioned during the Christmas post, but I wont stop you for imagining other members, thats why in headcanons I will use ONF MEMBER instead their names. (For member X reader scenario)

3. In this headcanon, reader is slightly older than ONF member, maybe 2 or 3 years older. Same age is plausible, then it would be ONF member continued their studies further so they started working late.

ok lets go, beware its long and sorry if it is messy I tried my best to control 2 way storyline, I had fun writing but I know I am lacking much much more than I could notice. total 6k word count (dies)

1-1

• You work as assistant/secretary for the head of department/CEO in company before the young successor joins and his predecessor retires. • Because you tend to separate work life and private life, you established personality to look like ice queen on the outside (reality) but actually passionate carer on the inside (virtually). None of your colleagues knew, only your close friends • You have been using a chat app (not tinder type) for since you started intern, • 1. That app's specialty was anonymous. • 2. Its like a hideout spot where you can share and post whatever you love. (Because there are some co-workers added your FB or Insta and you felt it is a hassle to create another fake account exclusively to add people) • 3. Even though you tried and failed at 1 or 2 virtual relationships with other users, you never despise the thought of online dating. But you do know it’s not realistic so you never take it too seriously (it is also self-protection) • You would post some photos but mostly are just lunch pics, occasionally an outdoor view from your office floor, also some cute stationaries or accessories found on the way back home. (Just adding this trivia for fun linking the universe, maybe you pass by Minkyun’s flower shop as well?) • (It will be funny if your contents was more on sharing random idol pics that you follow, passionately promoting it hence creating a more impact contrast later when revealing) • One day you came across a post asking about what kind of cologne to buy for a predecessor who will be retiring. Being a good Samaritan, you leave a few suggestions under the post and did not really take it to heart, you forgot about it once you see the original author replied "Thanks" • Not knowing that 1 interaction would change your life forever.

1-2 • The next day, your superior announced his retirement and mentioned a young successor will join the company next month. And ONF member being the young successor does make rumors flying around the company, making people questioning his ability as he is related to company board of directors. The department you are in is under top 5 sales/profit bringing, so with a young successor would be inexperienced which might lead to drop of department reputation of course people are going to worry and gossip. • First impression with ONF member is actually ok. Well dressed, good looking and nice manners. The moment he followed his predecessor walks into the office floor, girls starts to make all sorts of gasping noises (lol) • Your superior mentioned that he bought a retirement gift for your superior deep down you approved at the selection of the cologne brand. • You might goes, this guy got sense, not bad. • One night after several days ONF member joined the department/company, you received a PM from a user, thanking you for the cologne recommendation. It took you a while to remember who it was. You politely replied him “You are welcome.” • The user also nonchalantly asked about how you can make such suggestion that pinpoints because by the glance at your profile, first impression could be very much misleading. • You just replied that you happened to know someone at that age who likes that type of scent hence the list of suggestions, what you did was just you taking the liberty to do a lucky guess. • Out of curiosity, you tap at the stranger’s avatar to get a glimpse of his profile, but out of your disappointment, there were no picture of his to know what he looks like. But there are pictures of scenery from places he travelled. • You also noticed that their “joined the app” days are way lesser than you are, quite a new user. • You found a few pictures of places you went before/ places that you want to go. Delighted, you started the conversation asking if he likes travelling and his next travel plans. • The other party replied briefly his plans and his experience during travels, from his words you know that he won’t be travelling overseas for the next 2 years as he had a new job and responsibility to learn. Instead he will be focusing on doing domestic travels. • His words made you reminisce your rookie days and you responded him that you understand him with empathy. You did not pry further but you do give him some encouragement, telling him that things will get better and once he got the hang of it, he will have more time on his own. (Yup at the moment you are thinking he is a freshman or newbie joining new company) • You timidly ask your new chat friend why they decided to join and use the app. He replied, “I don’t really play social media apps and I don’t want anyone to find me online, the anonymous system this app provides mental security for me.” • The reply was so different from those who are playing the app just for flirting and finding a quick date, you replied him, “Same as you.” • The conversation ends by the other party mentions he will need to be early for work and politely wishes you good night. The next morning you found the stranger has added you as friend, without any thoughts you tap on your screen and now you have a new mutual.

1-3 • Back to office, as ONF member is still new towards his scope of work, you would sometimes giving him advise and guides by sharing “What would his predecessor does.” or “What he can do by not violating company policy”. He takes advises well and would always inquire for your suggestion before making any critical decision. • Once he started to get the hang of it, you passed the torch of freedom to him because you are only a secretary/assistant. But he will still come to you, which you felt he was being dependent. (I feel if it is Minkyun, he will be more dependent should the scope of work is totally unfamiliar to him. Tendency of dependent to independent would be Seungjun, Hyojin, Yuto same par as Jaeyoung, Changyoon then Minkyun.) • (Of course sometimes there are some doubt raised regarding to policies and because he sees things in another perspective, you know he meant no harm but sometimes you wish he would just shut up and just follow the policy just for convenience sake+lessen damage. That’s because should any dissatisfaction of decision happens, colleagues will firstly come to interrogate you, hoping you to twist his decision or questioning your ability to lessen the damage done towards merit they/the department holds. AND YOU HATE PLAYING THOSE POWER MIND GAMES, even though the image you impose looked like you are skilled player.) • So there is some sense that being strict is you are trying hard to protect him and protecting yourself. • BTW ONF member, your new superior has a bright personality unlike his predecessor (huge reason is due to the age factor), even though inexperienced in work, he has good be friending skills. So people in the department felt it was less stressful working under him because he would do small talk with his underlings. (This hc is not suitable for Changyoon and Yuto during the beginning, due to their personality they would try but not suddenly initiating small talks on the first week joining.) • IT WILL BE FUNNY IF SOME FEMALE COLLEAGUE TOOK PITY ON HIM BY MENTIONING/GOSSIPING THAT YOU ARE TOO STRICT AGAINST HIM • Its not that you hate him or he does not have the ability to do his work, it’s just when he is standing on the opposing side against company policy it troubles you. • Every time when things like this happens, you would low-key complains by posting status on the chat app, mentioning you don’t hope for an understanding but you would hope those who are not in your shoes would shut up. Your mutuals mostly are office workers as well so resonates with your words. • Your new friend leaves a comment underneath the post you asking if you are doing alright, and hope you do not stress yourself too much. You thanked him for the mental support. • He will even PM you asking if you are doing alright, most of the time you don’t want to lose your cool plus you don’t think it is wise to abruptly rant towards a stranger as if they are emotional sandbag, so you will politely thank him and say that you are alright now. • Since you and your new friend work on the day, you two chat during the night and weekend, getting to know each other in a very casual pace. A bit of child hood and you both also shared your majors in studies. He told you that he used to study at overseas and he picked up hobby of travelling around a bit during those days. • You never turn on the app during lunch (to avoid people finding out) but your new friend does send you some messages during lunchtime. • As you and the new friend get to know each other, there has a few things in common, you two like talking about travels and you two read works by the same author • By the way the new friend is a he. You two are using ID names the whole time during chatting, because you have told him that you are not comfortable giving and knowing each other’s real name. He understands and respects that. • And you confirmed that he is slightly younger than you. Which you replied to him, “Oh my superior is same age as you.” • This new friend gives you a calm and mature vibe even though he is same age as your new superior. You could not help yourself but comparing. • The other party goes: “Wow, he must be a very successfully accomplished youngster.” • You go: “Nah, other than his outgoing personality that brings freshness to the department, he still got lots to learn.” • Your new friend then continues, “Your new superior is a lucky one, I can confidently say that because I have an excellent senior who would always look out for me.” • You respond, “Then you better treat them well.” • And he goes “Of course.”

1-4

• Work is as usual, possible you unintentionally eavesdropping and caught ONF member saying towards you (even better backing you up when some junior colleagues are reverse gossiping about you) : You know, Y/N might look cold and stern sometimes but actually a kind and gentle person. Y/N would always give out advice for the sake of the department/ company. • Cues you would fluster a bit by those words. • A few days later you are done briefing your superior their schedule. And ONF member suddenly ask if you are free for dinner. It’s already his 4th month in the company and wanted to properly thank you for guiding him with patience and prudence. • At first you wanted to decline him because you don’t want to deal with work related stuff after office hours, ALSO you don’t want anyone to start weird gossips. • Another reason is you don’t want to talk about yourself too much in front of your superior. Heck you even avoid your colleague’s invitations for dinner because you value your “me time” very much. • But looking at his anticipating face, you got soft and agreed that a coffee would suffice.  ONF member smiles at you suggest both of you to have coffee right now at Starbucks next to your company building. You are free to choose whatever drink you like. • Before both of you leave the room. And then you heard a familiar notification sound, you thought your heart is going to stop, that is the notification sound from the chat app you are using. You did not have your phone with you so it was obvious the sound comes from ONF member’s phone. • And that was a notification alert of the system has found someone nearby and presented to the user.  It got you curious and worried at the same time. • At Starbucks, ONF member had to answer a call, so you ordered his drink as well. • Later you see him start replying messages while waiting for orders to be done.  You wanted to have a peek at his user name but you are a few steps away and your instinct told you better don’t do that. What if it is already someone you already know? • “Curiosity killed the cat, remember?” You tell yourself. • Once you are at your desk, you took some deep breath to calm yourself and try to remember if you recalled wrongly but truth is you are accurate. You hurriedly checked you phone, there were no new messages and you are sure you have turned off location visibility.  Lucky for you it was never turned on to begin with. • You also kind of worried if your superior actually has a “fun” lifestyle after office hours. But, it’s hard to relate him to a playboy image when he looked like a friendly good boy. You shake your head and deny yourself. • “If (ONF member name) uses that app then I will need to be more careful.” you thought while sipping the frappe. So back at home, you started to alter all posts’ visibility to “Visible for mutuals only”. Took you nearly a whole night but better safe than sorry.

1-5 • More weeks pass by peacefully but one day a conflict happened between you and ONF member and some colleagues/minor members of the board.  He went ahead to announce that he decides (had a thought) to run a campaign/new rule (maybe a budget cut). The moment he finished his sentences, you know the seniors will not be happy with it. • Later after meeting, you politely confront with ONF member that he should discuss with you before announcing it on meeting. Plus, announcing without any advance preparation will put him and you in an awkward position as verbal announcement are not persuasive enough. Of course you are also worried that people might use this issue to tackle and exploit the cons of both of you being inexperience and young. • “With all due my respect, Mr.(ONF member name), it will be nice if you could discuss with me before dropping that bomb at the meeting.” you try not to sound fierce but your tone clearly does not sound you are cool with his actions at all. • “And later having you lecture me and stop me? You do know it was for the good of the company too right?” He retorts like usual • “Yes but no.” you try to fight back. “ It’s not that easy, there are people need to be dealt with and I don’t think you--” • Before you could finish, ONF member says with an eyebrow raised, “You don’t think I can handle it, because I am still unexperienced.” • You unconsciously frown and thinking, why is he suddenly trying to pick a fight deliberately today? Why is he suddenly trying to piss off seniors in the department/company? • ONF member then with firm tone, gives you suggestion, “Should you have anyone come to you and complain, tell them that you knew nothing at all and request them to talk to me directly instead.” • “I am the CEO, not you.” He adds. • You could not help but sigh, knowing there is not point arguing because he is not going to back down. And deep down you do know the new rule/budget cut will do more merit than harm. (Your focus is more on how deal with seniors employees not him for now because seniors are more pain in the ass compared to him) • But still there are people come to you and bug you while you are working and you can’t tell them to leave you alone hence it stresses you out. • You escape to the bathroom taking your phone with you and vents out at the app by posting a status mentioning you are just trying to do your job and wants a peaceful work days. • You also come across seeing your new friend posting a status prior your meeting time, it’s a photo of frappe you recommended him to try it out. He is thanking you for recommending it. • You could not help but feeling a bit jealous, should your title and work scopes are different/ should you are just normal employee rather than a CEO’s secretary, you might not need to face these kind of stress. • “Guess you have to bear what you signed up for huh?” you thought to yourself after 15 minutes cooling yourself down. • You switched your mind set and step out from bathroom. Returning to your place with your usual ice cold face. You are trying hard not to show that you are weak against stress. You are too immersed at people coming at you asking you questions, without knowing ONF member actually observing you with concerned gaze from his room. • That night, you receive a PM from your new friend asking if you are doing ok, as you never sound that upset before. He said he can lent an ear so you can tell him what happened. You spare him all the intricate details and tell him briefly that your superior made a mess and you need to clean it up also back his plan no matter you like it or not. • The whole progress he did not interrupt you nor tried to tell you what you should do, he let you type all the way until you finished. Once you are done, you asked, “I don’t know what might be up in his sleeves that it’s inconvenient for me to know beforehand but... Isn’t he a jerk, putting me into an awkward situation?” • Your friend backs you up and agrees with you that matters should be discussed, and critiques your superior actually could trust you more. • You thanked your friend for letting you to rant and mentioned you have accepted the fate because of the title and responsibility you hold in the company. That’s being professional and mature in office. • The other party replied that even if that is the case, he hope you don’t stresses yourself too much as it seems your new superior still needs your guidance and support. • You playfully replies, “Well I am not his babysitter XD, he will need to face a lot of issues by his own someday.” • “Why is that?” • “Well I can’t always be by his side though? I might get married and resign.” you reveal your future plans to your new friend, “Moreover, even I don’t resign, I might take pregnancy leave though?” • The other party comments, “I never thought you had that planned out.” • And he continues, “Your profile gives out the ‘I love my job so much.’ vibe” • You then back up your point by saying you do want that plan to work but too bad you are single now, so of course you are going to focus on your job more. Plus, you do not plan to find a partner in work place anyways. • The new friend leaves more supportive words and hoping it will cheer you up. By the end of the conversation, he also offers that you can come to him and rant should you need an ear. • You grin at his words and felt warm towards his actions. Rarely any of your mutual actually PM to check up on you. “Maybe he was just being nice.” you thought before you wish him good night.

1-6 • The next day, you are being summoned by your superior the first thing in the morning. He passes you a pile of documents and requests you to go through it. It a proposal regarding to the budget cut/new rule and he hope you can be his ally. His gaze is not as firm as yesterday, but it’s more of seeking approval and acknowledgement from you. • You let out a sigh and mutters, “You know, should you have hand this to me beforehand the situation won’t be that ugly.” And then you start to flip the pages. • “Sorry.” He apologizes. “But I really want to make it work. It’s also a handover work by my predecessor.” • “You look up upon him too much, ONF member, he is a sly fox just like the other seniors.” You do not mean to back stab but you are telling the truth. “Has it never come to your mind why he did not initiate the plan when he is here and requested you to initiate it when he is gone?” • “I know. But this move is going to benefit the company; I am willing to bear responsibility.” ONF member adds • You stop reading and look at your superior in the eye, “You better hope this work though, I don’t want my 5 months effort of guiding you goes to waste. And I hate the idea that I need to re- adjust my pace with a new superior.” • ONF member gets your intentions behind your words; he swiftly stands up from his chair and thanked you. “I owe you big one, Y/N. Another cup of coffee to thank you for reals?” • “No thanks, I will be busy. Next time.” You feel uncomfortable because the social distance between you two seems shortened, so you politely decline. • Luckily the whole budget cut/new rule policy worked out fine and by year end, benefits shows. You and ONF member can finally relax a bit knowing that you both have won the fight.

1-7 • Meanwhile, you did not stop interacting with your recent favourite friend. As you two got to know each other even more, both of you chat almost every day during the night. He never bores you and he can understand most of the topic you bring up. You are amazed that how can someone has so many things in common? • It spikes your curiosity and you ask him if a wonderful person like him has a partner in real life. He answers you that he is single, just like you are. • (You thought he is lying because he is such a nice guy, but of course you do tell yourself not to 100 percent trust everyone online) • Then he asks your opinion about online virtual dating. You honestly told him about your experience. But you added that even though you failed twice/thrice, you are not against it. • And that moment, you don’t know what has gotten into you, you playfully type, “You are asking my opinion on that as if you are preparing yourself” • “Prepare for what?” he asks • “To get yourself an online girlfriend.” You reply. • His respond reads, “Yes I am.” • “That’s wonderful. That girl you will be confessing is a lucky one.” • “Yea, indeed you are.” • You pause for a moment when you saw the message. • “Wait, you serious? ME??” you quickly send him the message because you thought should you hesitate longer, the mood will turn awkward. • He replies you by sending you a heart emoji. • You give a quick thought, well it is interesting chatting with him and he does seem nice. Plus, it’s online anyway, you could call it off should he becomes toxic and annoying like your previous experiences. • “I wasn’t sure if you are ok with someone like me. “He continues. “I am fine if you want to call it off should you found someone in real life later on.” • “Don’t be silly, that should be my line.” You retort him. • And then you have it, another secret. You have an online boyfriend now. You both even declared each other as a pair of soulmate publicly on the app. But you two did not exchange selfies, keeping the relationship virtual and anonymous. • However you two always share interesting stuffs happen on daily. New book, new cd, a random shot of a puppy or cat you met on the street. • Also before year end, you overheard girl colleagues gossiping about your superior has a girlfriend now; you are not interested at his private life so you just let it slide. • But you did briefly mention it to your boyfriend. Not in a gossip tone, more of a life update share. • Of course there are some girl colleagues that are ok with you comes to you, hoping you leak some information about ONF member’s rumoured girlfriend. But of course you know nothing at all, leaving them with disappointed answer. • Fast forward to the week before Valentine’s Day. It is also 10th month since ONF member joins the company. • Out of the sudden, your online boyfriend suggests you two to meet up. You are not against it, and it’s not like you never met anyone you know from the app. Thinking why not knowing a new friend in real life, you agreed his offer. (Also because you are curious what he looks like so that you can understand why he was single before dating you) • You even inquired his preference in chocolate and promise bringing him some on official first date. • Your boyfriend thanks you and suggests a place for dinner. You knew that place, it’s expensive and you could not help but wondering if he is trying hard to match you. (You still thinks he is just a normal employee in a company) • But, your boyfriend only replies: “Don’t worry, it is the perfect spot, I could not think of others that are suitable to our taste.” • You can only acknowledge it because you don’t want to have an argument to blow up but deep down you could not help yourself to start doubting again. • “It’s going to be Ok, right?” you question your decision, but it’s too late.

1-8 • On Valentine’s Day, younger female colleagues in your office give out chocolate treats to younger male colleagues as friendship presents, some of course using the occasion to confess. • You don’t have the habit of presenting chocolate treats as a token of friendship appreciation at the office. But you are giving your date chocolate treat later; you hid yours in your bag carefully scared of being teased should anyone saw it. • ONF member gets some too. One female colleague even teases him if he is going to get chocolate from his girlfriend. And ONF member replies that he might get it later that night. • Of course ONF member will asks you for chocolate treat with an innocent face, you just bluntly tell him that you don’t have the habit to give out chocolate treats, he only pouts after listening to your respond. • By the way today you unintentionally changed your makeup (lipstick or eyeshadow). No one dared to make any comments but not your superior, ONF member. • He goes: “Y/N ah? Did something good happen on you? Are you going to a date tonight?” • You are typing quick report and his words caught you off guard. You flinched at his words. Hoping ONF member did not notice, you quickly lied by telling him simply ran out of your usual makeup colour. • But your superior teases you a bit, “Aww, I was hoping I could attend your wedding in near future. “ • You have gotten used to his socializing pattern, so you counter him by asking if he is going to bring his girlfriend to have a nice dinner at a grand restaurant. • And to your surprise, he revealed the place he will be having dinner with his partner. It’s the same place where you are heading to later. He had a special room booked exclusively for tonight’s date. • “Oh, Oh… Have fun and enjoy your dinner.” You force yourself to break a smile. • ONF member only smirks at you and gives you a few pats on your shoulders and says he will have an unforgettable night before returning to his room. Leaving you questioning the meaning of his actions that are unpredictable but also definitely intentional. • Of course you had a quick thought asking your boyfriend if it is possible to change location, you could not bring yourself to ask as you are worried you might sound rude/arrogant trying to change plans on the last minute. You deduced that since ONF member will be having dinner in a room, you might not going to bump into him. You and your boyfriend can just finish dinner quickly. • You could not have that bother you too much time because you need to finish your report so that you can leave on time. Once it reaches the end of office hours, the others started to leave. You made up a plan to leave after ONF member leaves the office. You keep raising your gaze to have a slight peek towards your superior’s room. • Seeing him finally standing up from his chair and adjusting his suit. You can tell he is finally leaving. He passes through your desk and asks, “Y/N ah, please don’t tell me you are planning to work overtime during this special day?” • You only smiles and tell him you are going to finish soon, “Don’t you have a dinner to attend?” you remind him without looking at him, acting as if you are typing the remaining contents of your report. • “Yea I do. See ya.” ONF member waves you goodbye. • You leave the office after 10 minutes. (As for method of transport to the restaurant, I will leave it to your choice.)

1-9 • You reach the building of the restaurant. You let out a sigh, hesitating to step in nonchalantly knowing ONF member is inside there as well. The least thing you definitely do not want to happen is ONF member finding you having a dinner date tonight. It’s embarrassing and it will break the balance of your work and private life. • While you are pacing in front of the building with hesitation, you receive a chat notification from the app. You open it and it was your boyfriend, notifying you that he has arrived, and he reminds you the restaurant located at 38th floor. • You nervously bite your lower lip knowing it’s too late and it is rude of you to cancel the date on last minute. He was a decent person to chat with and you don’t want to lose a good friend. You are blaming yourself for agreeing to attend this date too casually. And you also find yourself way too wary of your virtual boyfriend’s thoughts towards you should you now called him to cancel the date. • Then you heard a familiar voice called out your name and you turn your head towards the voice unconsciously. It’s ONF member, walking out from the building. You flustered and panicked by just imagining scenarios of him asking why you are here and other many more questions. • “OMG…. Shit shit shit….!” You cursed in your head, regretting your life decisions. Recalling the entire chat context between you two, this might be the worst thing ever to happen in your life. • He is grinning while reaching out to grasp your hand. You unintentionally try to back away from him but he was faster. You tried to pull your hand away but he pulls you toward him instead. You nearly bumped towards his chest. • “Y/N ah, I told you its 38th floor; you did not get my message?” ONF member asks as his smirks widens. • As he finished his words, you only look at the young guy in front of you with disbelief, processing his words. Seeing you froze due to the big plot twist, ONF member taps you on your forehead hoping to unfreeze you. • “It can’t be…You are (ONF member’s ID in the app)?! “You exclaim. • “Yeap.” He responds. • “Impossible…How?” you ask. “How did you know it was me?” • “At first I had my doubt when I first saw an old post of yours. You shot a sunset pic from our office floor by the window near the lift right?” he returns with another question. And man he is good at remembering details. • “Then I confirmed that it was you by the time I announced budget cut/new rules for the company/department. ” he explains   • “I…” You could not bring yourself to say anything, but you are not an idiot, “(ONF member name), did you risked your reputation in the company just to find out a stranger’s real identity?” • “No, I did not, I swear. I initiated the plan to suddenly announce the budget cut because I want to find out which board seniors will make a move to cover up themselves, as requested from my predecessor.” He knows you well to sense that you are angry, and he quickly denied. “I only know it was you when I checked up on you. Since then I have been dropping so many hints for you to realize, but it seems like you are the dense one here.” • You can tell he is telling the truth. • “This is absurd…” you mutter while placing your hand on your forehead. • ONF member let out a sigh and he shifts behind you, places his hands on your shoulders then pushes you forward. “Come on, I am starving we can talk about it later, you did not had a decent meal during lunch as well right?”   • He is right, you only had a mini croissant during lunchtime.

• You follow him without a word to the entrance of the building and enter the lift to 38th floor. ONF member has booked a nice room that both of you can enjoy the city’s night view.

1-10 • It was a luxurious dinner but you are not in the mood enjoying it. In fact you are so stressed that you could not even taste your food. You did not touch your dessert at all. • You only quietly trace the shape of wine glass in front of you while looking at the night view, hoping the night to pass quickly. • “You are not happy with me being your date, Y/N?” he suddenly asks. • You jolted and you finally look at him in the eye for the first time tonight. • “You startled me, I am still trying to grasp the situation here.” You reply him with a low voice, trying to act calm by casually bring your drink closer to you and hydrates your throat. • “Hey Y/N-ah, I know you mentioned before that you don’t like the idea of dating someone from the office, but…” his eyes are fixed on you. “I like you. Not just the virtual you, but also the real you.” • “I called you a jerk.” You know you should not bring it up, but you still did. • “Which I did act like one so, no hard feelings.” He accepted. “I am truly sorry about that, I was trying to prove myself way too hard.” • Now it got awkward since he apologized without any complaints. You don’t know what to say and avert your gaze again. • “You know, Y/N ah, when you are stressed, you tend to avoid other people’s eye contact. “he breaks the silence.  “And you are doing that ever since you reached here.” • Upon hearing his words, you flinched and exchange eye contact with the young man sitting in front of you. • “And oh, and you flinch as well.” He adds, “Which is very adorable in my opinion.” • “(ONF member’s name), I …” you try to explain yourself but he cuts you off. • “It alright, you don’t have to push yourself, I have made you stressed out way too much today.” ONF member smiles at you while saying based on what he observed. • He finally stands up and offers to send you home. You could not decline him because you felt terribly sorry for ruining such as nice date. • “I am sorry, should it is another girl, it will be a terrific night for you.” You apologized before leaving his car. • “Don’t worry; it is an unforgettable night for me.” He responds with his usual smile. • Back at your place, you are frustrated that the night ended up in an awkward and weird way. You only noticed that you did not get to hand him the chocolate treats as promised. • You cannot sleep that night, gazing at the chocolate treats as you holding the package in your hands. You cannot tell if you messed up or you are lucky that he happened to like you. • You wanted to consult a random mutual of yours but you hesitated. Because at this point you are not sure if you actually have the full grasp on the situation. And you don’t want a biased reply. • “It’s just this boyfriend of yours happened to be him, I guess?” you murmur to yourself. But that did not clear up your mind enough for you to make any decision towards the situation. • Several days passed, ONF member did not send any message to you in the chat app. He acted like usual back in office, but it does not look like he has any intention to talk about what happen between you two either. • (The problem is you cannot look at him in the eye) • You are troubled if you should initiate the first move. It’s not like you hate him, you never did in the first place, it’s just he annoys you sometimes. • Then you overheard ONF member having small talk with colleagues, and they ask about his Valentine’s Day. He only replies it was an unforgettable night and he is glad that he is able to meet his girlfriend, it was better than never meeting her at all.

1-11 • From his words, you gain a bit of courage and decided to make your first move. • The next day you arrived at the office earlier than usual, you take out something from you bag and places small gift box on ONF member’s desk. The small box has a memo attached to it. • You hurried back to your desk, acted as if nothing happened while the office starts have more and more colleagues coming in. ONF member arrives later on and he greets you before heading in his room. • You take some quick glances, making sure ONF member notices your belated Valentine’s day gift. • He did noticed and read the memo you attached, then he made a confused look but he adjusts his facial expression immediately as he sees you stood up from your place. • You head to his office room to brief his morning schedule. Like usual, you step into his room, closes the door and starts the briefing. ONF member stares at you with a puzzled expression while sitting on his chair. • Once you done your part and you ask him if he has any schedules to add into the list, he places the gift box into your view and pushes it towards you. • “What do you mean by this?” he inquires. • “I promised you chocolate for Valentine’s day, sorry I was late.” You purposely answer him the wrong information. “ Don’t worry I made a brand new ones.” • “You know I meant this.” He pulls out the memo has his eyes fixed on you. • The memo wrote, “(ONF member’s ID), Let’s call it off --- (Your ID)” • “That’s how it is.” You tried not to break into a smile, you are getting your revenge and this is fun. “You are the one who said you are fine to call it off if either one of us found someone in real life right?” • ONF member pauses for a moment, his eyes wandering then he admits he did say that. • “Well you found someone in real life, so there is not point for us to continue virtual dating on the app anymore right?” you slightly let out a victorious smirk as you ask him. • ONF member finally gets what you mean and he let out a smile. He puts down the memo and pushes himself up from his chair and walks towards you. • Thankfully the design of his room is made up of walls, once the wooden door is closed; no one knows what happens inside. • “So, you are fine with us dating in real life then?” You can feel his breath as he is only one step away from you. This time you are not going to back away and you look at him straight in the eyes. • “I will need to adjust a bit. You have a problem with me being your girlfriend?” you reply with him with another question. • ONF member unconsciously let out another smile, he quickly hides it with his hand,  “No, not at all…” and those were the words you can hear coming out from him • “That settles it then.” You widen your grin towards him before turning around ready to leave his office. • But you are being pulled back by a pair of arms. Your back come contact to his chest area. He is hugging you from behind you. • “Seriously, I don’t get you.” He low key complains. “I thought you are going to hate me for real this time.” • “I was going to, you did not texted me and you acting like nothing happened after that night.” You pout as you explain to him. “I thought I have ended my career the moment you told me who you are. And who would have thought a decent CEO would date someone randomly they met in a online chatting app?” • “I am sorry; I thought leaving you unbothered for some time so that you don’t get stressed out.” You could tell from his tone he does feel apologetic. He never sounds like that before during work.

• "But I am dead serious on trying to start a proper relationship with you that’s why I suggested for us to meet up.” he continues. “Glad you felt the same.”

• You freed yourself from his hug and turn to him. • “Now listen, (ONF member’s name), as we are professionals, I do hope you understand that there is a clear line between work and private life.” You remind him. “Just because we are dating now, does not mean that I am going to let you off easily if you messed up during work, ok?.” • “Man, I don’t think I will ever win you huh?” ONF member only look at you affectionately and continues, “As you wish, my beloved assistant/secretary.”

A/N : the concludes for this oneshot headcanon fic should there are more ideas I might write a continuation about this pair for a part 2. Also thinking of linking the universe with MInkyun Florist AU, just a maybe. 

[woman-loving]

I’m curious about “respectability politics” and how it applies to variations on the “born this way“ / “it’s not a choice” argument for toleration of homosexuality.

I’ve heard that “respectability politics” was theorized by Evelyn Brooks Higginbotham in Righteous Discontent: The Women's Movement in the Black Baptist Church 1880-1920, which I have not read yet. (Although this might be a good time to start it, cause I’m just about to finish my current book!) My impression was that it referred to appeals to middle-class norms of respectability as a basis for claims to citizenship and protection and nondiscrimination under the law.

I associate the “it’s not a choice” discourse (and I’m not entirely sure if that’s a bit different from the “born this way” discourse) mostly with a counterargument to conservative Christian pronouncements about homosexuality in the US. I had previously rejected the idea that this argument was a form of “respectability politics,” because I didn’t think that “not being able to choose your sexuality” was a typical marker of middle-class respectable citizenship. I had instead described this argument as “toleration politics,” where, rather than being seen as meeting moral (or citizenship) requirements just as well as everyone else, a special exemption from the standard requirement was being requested based on a (tragic) inability to fulfill it.

But I’m thinking about some things I’ve read and feel like variations of these arguments (which each have their own particularity, but also some commonalities imo) may have more to do with respectability than I originally thought.

But the other part of the equation is that they may involve appeals to religious patriarchal moral authorities. And I’m curious about the relationship between patriarchal religious morality--which I would basically describe like that, although I’m trying to work “religious” out of it--and class and citizenship dynamics. Because it seems like, at least in Christianity (and also in Islam from what I know about it), the acknowledged orthodox sexual morality is patriarchal and doesn’t authorize sex outside heterosexual marriage, even if it overlooks it. (But what variations might I be overlooking because they’re not considered orthodox by more institutionalized authorities?) Is there an automatic link between orthodox patriarchal sexual morality and “middle-class respectability,” just because the former is taken as a basis for the later? In the US, appeals to Christian patriarchal morality are also important to citizenship given the influence of Christian conservatives in politics, but is this also/only about middle-class ideals? (This has all got me thinking about the argument I heard Naomi Goldenberg make on The Religious Studies Project that religions can be understood as vestigial states.) I’m also thinking of religious authority here in terms of patriarchal authority: is this a good way to think about it and how is it incomplete?

Anyway, there are some passages that have been fitting themselves together in my brain:

Karen, editor of Frauenliebe, used sexological concepts of congenital and acquired homosexuality to draw a strict boundary between the two. She argued that anyone seeking same-sex love out of enjoyment of transgression [acquired homosexuality] damaged society and should be "separated from the public." On the other hand, Karen continued, "Same-sex behavior, entered into voluntarily and clearly by both partners [congenital homosexuality], belongs, like every intimate heterosexual behavior, to the realm of things one accepts but does not talk about."[68] Karen also warned aspiring writers to avoid writing explicitly about sexual experience in their stories and essays.[69]

Categorical exclusion shaped a debate in Frauenliebe about bisexuality. Like prostitutes, bisexuals were excluded from homosexual community. Frauenliebe printed fifteen responses to a letter asking readers to express their view on women who had relationships with both sexes.[70] They saw homosexuality as moral and bisexuality as immoral. It was not only movement leaders who wanted to discipline sexual desire in their followers. Letters from readers grouped bisexual women with prostitutes and "sensual" heterosexual women, accusing all of seeking homosexual experiences out of curiosity or sensual desire rather than as an expression of inner character.[71] [...]

Vilification of bisexual women allowed women the opportunity to enter into the classification and definition work of sexology and to create a purified figure of the female homosexual suitable for political citizenship. The "sexual" in homosexual was tamed through strict denial that irresistible desire defined the category. Rejection of prostitutes and bisexuals allowed women to construct "female homosexuality" as materially and sexually pure. As a type, they argued, "true" homosexuals kept desire under the control of the individual will.

-- Marti M Lybeck, Desiring Emancipation: New Women and Homosexuality in Germany, 1890-1933, 2015 Fuller quote here. This one links sexual morality and citizenship most directly and perhaps in the most “respectable” way (the realm of things you don’t talk about).

To understand how MSM is read, it is important to examine how explicit and implicit boundaries are drawn around the category gay. Consider, for example, a passage from Paul Farmer in which he claims that, in recent years, there have been fewer HIV cases than predicted among gay men in the United States, a category he implicitly racializes as White via the contrast with “injection drug users, inner-city people of color, and persons originally from poor countries in sub-Saharan Africa or the Caribbean.”21(p47) He further excludes gay from poor and suggests that “males involved in prostitution are almost universally poor, and it may be their poverty, rather than their sexual preference, that puts them at risk of HIV infection. Many men involved in homosexual prostitution, particularly minority adolescents, do not necessarily identify as gay.”21(p47) With this juxtaposition, Farmer seems to suggest that same-gender behavior among poor men of color (especially youth) is sex work rather than sex for pleasure and is devoid of identity and community; same-gender behavior among White men is read as synonymous with gay identity.

Compare these assumptions with a recent ethnographic report on men at risk for HIV in Dakar, Senegal.22 While many of these “men who have sex with men” are poor and engage in sex work, the authors found that they have indigenous sexual-minority identities that are differentiated and socially meaningful. Senegalese sexual-minority identities serve as a basis for social organization, including, but not limited to, sexual roles. The authors describe ibbi as men who “tend to adopt feminine mannerism[s] and to be less dominant in sexual interactions,”22(p505) whereas yoos are men who “are generally the insertive partner.” They also stress that the categories have “more to do with social identity and status than with sexual practices.”22(p506) [...]

Is MSM a useful term for describing groups that eschew prominent LGB categories? Much has been made of the fact that men on the DL lead secret lives and do not consider themselves gay.25,26 But DL is not a behavioral category that can be conveyed as MSM. As Frank Leon Roberts has put it, “DL is . . . about performing a new identity and embracing a hip-hop sensibility [italics added].”27DL functions not as a nonidentity but as an alternative sexual identity and community denoting same-gender interest, masculine gender roles distinct from the feminized sissy or faggot, Black racial/ethnic identity, and a dissociation from both White and Black middle-class gay cultures.26–28

-- “The Trouble With “MSM” and “WSW”: Erasure of the Sexual-Minority Person in Public Health Discourse,“ by Rebecca M Young and Ilan H Meyer, published in American Journal of Public Health, July 2005. This one doesn’t deal with the “it’s not a choice" argument directly, but suggests who people might want to exclude and have actually excluded in practice from categories of “sexual orientation" and “born this way” gay identity.

Omar’s analysis of linguistic terms has direct impact upon the issue of interpretation of the Qur’an. This analysis, published in 1997, predated the El-Moumni Affair by four years, yet illustrates exactly the conflation of terms which the imam pronounced in that controversial interview. Omar writes, “Many words are used to express sexual relationships that take place between man-and-man or between woman-and-woman. . . . Whether in modern standard Arabic or local dialects, there are terms like sexual deviance (al-shudhudh al-jinsiyya) and sodomy (al-liwat) and also homosexuality (al-junusiyya). . . . The problem is that most people use these different terms as synonyms, creating a situation of naming experiences with names that do not really fit, thereby generating misunderstanding and confusion about the topic of sexual orientation. . . . I see the critical importance of writing about homosexuality as the attempt to remove these confusing mix-ups of terms and issues.”[15] In this crucial passage, Omar explains that his project is to differentiate between homosexuality and sodomy. In his understanding, the Qur’an condemns sodomy as the act of anal penetration rather than homosexuality as sexual orientation, while the Islamic legal tradition mistakenly conflates the two.[16]

The distinction between homosexuality and sodomy makes sense if one asserts that there is a psychological reality called sexual orientation, which is separate from and prior to any sexual act. He writes, “Sex is a phenomenon that happens by way of the body, whereas sexuality is a matter existing at the level of psyche and personality.”[17] In his analysis, only a person with a psychological identity of constant and exclusive same-sex desire should be called “homosexual” (junusi in his terminology, or mithli jinsiyya in the Arabic terminology of other contemporary writers). The person who performs same-sex acts without doing so within the framework of exclusively homosexual orientation can be described as sodomite (luti). It is this behavior that characterizes the Tribe of Lot, who wanted to perform same-sex acts for reasons other than as a genuine expression of their sexual identity and psychological persona.[18] Omar’s analysis challenges classical Islamic law. Jurists instituted practical norms forbidding same-sex acts such as sodomy (liwat), with the assumption that those performing them were, in their inmost character, actually heterosexual (or at least functionally bisexual).

--Living Out Islam: Voices of Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Muslims, by Scott Siraj al-Haqq Kugle, 2014. I read this one yesterday. I can’t be sure whether bisexual people are considered at all, even as a footnote, in Omar’s analysis, and if they are, whether their pursuit of same-gender sex would be categorized with the acceptable homosexuals or unacceptable heterosexuals. I’m not sure here if Omar has in mind for sodomy rape specifically, or any anal penetration, or sexual activity (anal or not) between men that’s perceived as ‘voluntary’ rather than following the demands of exclusive sexual orientation.

But I think it’s interesting how intent/context/constraint of orientation is factored into ethical analysis here and in the first quote, in a way that accepts some forms of or reasons for having same-gender sex as unethical or socially disruptive. And in the first quote, these ‘voluntary’ expressions are imagined to be rooted in hypersexuality and sex work, distinctly un-middle-class. The last quote is engaging with Islamic legal traditions as well as theology, and I don’t know much about how this articulates with “citizenship,” although the author was writing in the Netherlands where LGBT rights were guaranteed by secular authorities.

Anyway, that’s what was bouncing around my head last night.

[clair-void-ance]

If Only She Knew

Pairing: Cedric the Sorcerer X Wormwood! Reader

Word Count: Roughly 1,516 words

Warnings: None; just yearning and fluff

Notes: Gif, photo, poem, and characters are not mine; only the story is mine! The poem is “If only She Knew” by Kiara Wilson and, honestly, I think it fit pretty well for the story :) The idea was one I found on @merlins-mushrooms​ blog that focused on the reader being Cedric’s familiar instead of Wormwood and them being able to switch between their animal and human form. I had a little bit of time and wanted to write, so I decided why not? It seems more like headcanons than a story but what can you do lmao. Hope you guys enjoy, feedback is always appreciated!

Growing up as an animal-based shape shifter, life had been both difficult and easy going for you. The magical gift you had to change into any animal at will provided you with opportunities and freedom not many people ever got to possess. Especially when it came to sneaking around and getting away with things

What made it difficult though, is that you had immense difficulty finding a job that suited you. Although you had attended Hexley Hall to learn to control and gain your magical abilities, it ended up being something you just didn't want the responsibility of doing.  

Something that you did like about attending there though, was someone who had grown to be quite dear to you over the years: Cedric.

Cedric and you had started off pretty rocky, given you different backgrounds and his stifling parents, but you eventually learned to create a happy medium. After the whole fiasco with his older sister and his falling out with Roland, Cedric ended up not having many people to fully rely on. In fact, he had no one to rely on. That is, until he met you.

You two would work on spells together, duel against each other, rant about your problems to one another, and even began providing physical affection to each other. One form of which, was when you would shift into a stark black cat and curl up in his arms underneath you guys’ favorite tree outside the school grounds.

For Cedric though, his favorite form for you was the raven you would transform into when wanting some alone time or freedom. After all, one of the few things that you adored above all things was your independence. He thought you looked adorable and, after an embarrassing incident that you have sworn him into secrecy about, he dubbed your new nickname “Wormwood.”

When you both began to creep closer to your graduation date though, your time together became thinner and more tense. When your studies started to wrap up, it became clear that you both had to pick your career soon. To Cedric, that choice was easy. His father had been Roland I’s Royal Sorcerer, and it was only natural that he took his place when the king retired. For you though, choosing a career that would define the rest if your life caused you so much stress that even Greylock had noticed. Which said a lot lmao But, like always, Cedric was there to ease your troubles. Since you both wanted to stay together, but there was no need for a second royal sorcerer, Cedric offered the idea that you become his familiar. 

Which…..wasn't actually a bad idea. In fact, it offered every bit of freedom, fun, and intellectual interest that you had desired in a would-be dream job. 

After crushing Cedric in a bone shattering hug, you quickly made your way to the school’s office and began the preparation of registering as a familiar. lmao, we’re just gonna act like it works that way cause I have no idea what else to do

--------------------------------------------

Moving to the castle had been an easier transition than you had anticipated, but you assumed that was more your doing than Cedric’s given the fact that people seemed to greet him with more suspicion than warmth. 

An unexpected advancement though, was when you were told that you both had to share sleeping quarters. Not that it really mattered that much; you and Cedric had slept near each other before when bunking and traveling at Hexley Hall, and this time would be no different. 

At least....to you it would. The fact that you had grown up to be rather beautiful made you sleeping in the same quarters rather awkward for Cedric. And though he could hide his affection relatively well, he still slipped up here and there and was caught throwing you yearning glances throughout the day. 

(Cedric was just glad that you had separate beds, cause he knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it if you slept less than ten feet away from him.)

Dynamic wise, you both worked together with so much ease it seemed as though you shared a collective mind. Which, in a way, you did. The only downside to knowing each other so well though, was the fact that you were adopting one another’s personality traits. Cedric, of course, had little downsides, but you were finding yourself becoming a tad more awkward then you remember originally being. But that just made you even more cuter in Cedric’s eyes. Which didn’t help his repressed love for you that he had harbored for the last fifteenish years he had known you.

--------------------------------------------

It wasn't until Sofia joined the castle and started to warm up to Cedric that he let it slip that he had the most embarrassing crush on you though. Sofia, of course, thought that this was the most adorable thing in the whole world and made it her life’s mission to help you both get together before it was too late. 

--------------------------------------------

After sending you away on ‘work-related’ jobs, Cedric and Sofia began to brainstorm the best possible ways to reveal his feelings and have them reciprocated. This ended with Cedric bringing up the idea of doing it through one of your more favorable interests: Poetry.

When you guys were still young and spent most of your time underneath the great Elm tree at Hexley Hall, you two had jokingly picked up the hobby of writing mushy and cringe inducing poetry. Which meant that his admission of feelings would be even more meaningful and heartfelt. That would definitely aid him in his and Sofia’s plans.

--------------------------------------------

While he began writing his love poem to you, Sofia began to set up the location in which he would proclaim his love. With the help of a few animal companions, Sofia had successfully set up a romantic setting in a secluded area of the palace gardens when she saw Cedric leading you down the pathway towards a singular bench.

You were wearing a deep purple pantsuit and, for a minute, Sofia realized that you complemented eachother surprisingly well.

After quickly hiding behind a bush, she got as close as she could without being found.

Grasping both of your hands in his as he stood in front of your seated form, Cedric began the start of confession speech.

“(y/n), to say that you’ve had a tremendous impact on my life would be a tragically large misconception. Unlike everyone else in my life, you have stuck in my corner through thick and thin and have remained, through it all, my closest companion and friend.”

At this point, he began to nervously shift around and cast his eyes down to his polished black shoes. 

“The thing is though, that my feelings as of late have changed. And, to help convey them….I sort of….w-wrote you a poem.”

You let out a snort to this, but looked at him tenderly as if to say “continue.”

Coughing into his fist, Cedric pointed his chin upwards as he sat to face you and started to recite his hastily written poem.

“She has her own special way

Of turning around my terrible day.

She makes all the bad things go away

The second that she says hey.

And when I look into her eyes,

I see pure beauty with no disguise.

Just a glance at her makes my heartbeat rise.

I know for a fact that these feelings aren't lies.

If only she knew

How much my love for her grew,

Maybe, just maybe, we could start something new,

And then I'd never feel blue.

And if beauty were inches, she'd go on for miles.

I'd better catch her before I go out of style.

I'm going to let my heart be my dial

So I can tell her what I've been feeling for a while.”

After finishing, Cedric nervously looked up at you to see what reaction you would show to what he had just revealed. Gazing at your eyes, he finally noticed the rim of tears that surrounded the lower part of your eyes and began to panic.

“Oh no, was that too much? Did...did I just ruin everything? Merlin’s Mushrooms! This always happens,” his tender look deflated into one of distress  as he put his head in his hands and quickly turned away from you. It wasn’t until he heard what, at first, sounded like crying that he hesitantly gazed up at you. Analyzing your facial features, he noticed that your face was not scrunched up in disgust, but rather into one of joy and laughter. You let out an airy giggle and reached to cradle his cheeks in your palms. 

“Oh Ceddy, that was the mushiest and most cringe inducing poem you’ve written yet,” you said with a smile.

“I’m just glad that this one is about me.”

“Does that mea-” 

It was at that point that you connected both of your lips and started to slowly initiate a deep and affectionate kiss. Sofia could be heard squealing behind one of the bushes across from you guys’ bench and that only made you giggle softly against Cedric’s slightly chapped lips. Which made the bumbling sorcerer swoon and lightly bring you into a hug,

Needless to say, that situation led to you both getting real familiar with each other. Only, this time, it lead to one of the most fulfilling chapters of both of your lives.

[fizzingwizard]

Episode 28~ Well, I heard this season’s supposedly got 60 episodes total (don’t quote me, that may be wrong) so we’re almost at the halfway point... I’m gonna wait till episode 30 to talk about that though.

This episode I actually rather liked, even though absolutely NOTHING happens other than the important things at the very beginning and the very end. That’s becoming a pattern this season - lots of nothing sandwiched in between hints of big dramatic things to come. Eh. But yeah, I liked it anyway :P for a few reasons that are probably not that objective. It’s not the kind of episode that’s gonna make you want to rewatch though.

Cap of the week!

Look we all know Jou is exactly the kind of 12 year old who folds his clothes neatly even when lost in a mysterious parallel world. Also he brought more textbooks (social studies and Japanese). Aka more ammo for Mimi

More below:

Last week we ended with Patamon evolving to Angemon in what was a pretty anticlimactic moment, despite a big villain being there and a cliffhanger ending. Seemed like a waste after all we went through just to get him.

However, I do think the beginning of episode 28 makes up for it somewhat. Angemon gets to show off how Very Very Cool he is, but it’s also made clear that he’s not up to full strength. Seeing him throw all his effort into the battle to save them even though it’s clear he won’t win was actually pretty great.

More typhoon winds throwing everyone back XD they must have so many bruises

Poor Takeru gets thrown back all by his lonesome

So last episode, I said I thought Darknightmon was gonna go for Hikari and was surprised and somewhat relieved when he stayed interested in Takeru/Angemon. Um... I guess that was a red herring x’D he’s after Hikari after all.

He literally says “I have no use for you” to Angemon LOL sick burn my dude

Hikari: “There is a new cutest child.”

Takeru: “Um, actually the phrase is ‘smallest child’.“

Hikari: “No. Cutest child. Do not interrupt my moment, impertinent one.”

Grogu: “Did someone say ‘cutest child’?”

Angemon’s peeved that Hikari stole the spotlight so he immediately jumps into the way and prevents Darknightmon from grabbing her.

Angemon: “No one treats ME like some washed up has-been!”

But as hard as he tries, Angemon just hasn’t recovered enough. It probably took all the energy Patamon had stored up just to evolve. His wings lengthen and release into millions of shining feathers, and both he and Darknightmon de-evolve.

I really did kind of enjoy this battle! Seeing Takeru be all strong and heroic, and the desperation with which Angemon tries to protect him... me likey.

Next it’s a nod to 99 series! D-D-Digimon!

Yamato screams like he’s at the dentist’s.

There’s lots of freaky black lightning that rains down seeming to give dark energy and empower random Digimon who get hit by it. Just to ensure our heroes don’t get to waste time on any more “breaks”

A single feather floats down where Taichi lands and dissolves. I am not sure what happened to it, if it did anything or if it was what protected them until this point...

Taichi and Hikari wake up and discover they are alone. So last week I thought they’d get swept off into pairs... I didn’t even consider that they’d each wind up alone. Mixed feelings! On the one hand, seeing each kid interact with their partner and their partner only was one of the good things about this episode (except it wasn’t always true, which I’ll get to in a minute). On the other hand, my fears last week were that whoever ended up with Taichi would be overshadowed by him. Turns out, if no one’s with him but Hikari, that means all the plot stuff is with them and the others have nothing in particular to do. -_-; At least not this week. My hope is that it’s coming (and there were a few promising hints this episode so), but next week’s trailer looks pretty Taichi-centric too..

Taichi: “Can I help it if I’m so charming cool awesome and dare I say it adorable”

The impact of everyone being “alone” is cut short by the fact that they can all still communicate via digivice. I would be fine with that, except for what I said earlier - they wind up spending too much time talking to each other instead of their partners. Particularly the ones who like to Plan Things. Eh.

Yamato tells Taichi to protect Hikari, doesn’t even mention that he’s sadly separated from Takeru at this point ;_; He knows Takeru’s okay though because Takeru is also communicating by digivice.

Sora: “Hello yes, it’s in my contract that I get to be awesome X number of times per episode, and I have doubts that you are making your quota.”

I love how Tentomon’s job is basically Koushirou’s secretary x’D “Put my calls on speakerphone Margaret” “Yes Mr Izumi”

The partners really are suited to each other... Koushirou gets a secretary, Jou gets a mom, Mimi gets a gal pal, Yamato gets a therapist, Sora gets a sister, Taichi gets a... preschool child who eats paste... -.-’

takeru and hikari don’t count because they’re Special and their main attribute is Cute

All the kids have ended up alone except for super-charged monsters who want to eat them. Palmon hoists Mimi up a very sheer rock trying to escape Golemon who is not great at climbing but doesn’t seem to know that

Meanwhile Jou... is like “Ohh yeah, you guys have it so rough, I’m trying my hardest too, keep fighting the good fight y’all”

He’s relaxing in the hot springs and freaking studying.

Gomamon’s unusually fine with it though. Because he gets to swim. He says “Let’s invite the others here.” They’re both like YEAH THIS IS WHAT I CALL A VACATION

It’s all fun and games until the hairy guy with the tattoos and veiny arms sharing your hot spring starts staring at your ding-a-ling. Uhhhhhhh.

he does make the “Nanimono?” joke so all is well lol

No matter what form he takes, Patamon is always an Angel 👼

Takeru is alone but he has Patamon... but Patamon is...

... ADORABLE... and conked out. Takeru’s so proud of him though, look at that smile *sniff*

Taichi remembers to ask Koushirou how conditions are back at home. This kid is too organized.

Koushirou: “News and variety shows continue as normal even though the world’s ending.”

I’m not going to get into everything he says but it’s pretty much more of the same regarding the power influx from the human world to the digital world and the way the Zurumon’s attacks are wreaking havoc with electronics...

Taichi almost says “You’re so sugoi!” Almost. He’s grateful anyway. *chews on those Taishiro breadcrumbs till they’re broken down to atoms*

Then... Hikari’s acting strange!

Agumon: “What are you looking at?”

Hikari: “I don’t know.”

Taichi: “You don’t know but you’re looking at it?”

Hikari: “It kind of looks like Steve Buscemi... it’s hard to tell”

Taichi’s not too wigged out by freaky Hikari because he’s lived with her all his life, and she’s always been a freak.

Baby Hikari: “Shteeve... bushemiii....”

Agumon: “Your sister’s weird.”

Taichi: “Yeah but she’s MY weird sister.”

Yamato is fighting, of course. He stops for a moment to be impressed by how well Takeru’s handling himself. Garurumon points it out. I suppose it’s simply time to accept that this season Yamato is just not the disaster boy he was in 99 x’D

Now have some gratuitous adorable Patabutt images.

Patabutt patabutt pata pata butt butt

Um... is it just me or is Patamon kinda... oversized all of a sudden lol...

Takeru: “Did you eat all of my candy stash again?”

Patamon: “I just can’t seem to quit”

Takeru: “That’s it we’re getting you into rehab”

Patamon tries to fly but just can’t ;____; poor baby is totally wiped out. Takeru takes a long time to catch on to that. I REALLY HOPE THIS GOES SOMEWHERE, like Takeru has to protect Patamon instead of the reverse etc... pleeeeease don’t just leave this where it is writers!! The potential for cute is endlessssss

On the matter of Things That Are Not Cute... -.-;

Jou: “Please stop looking at my junk”

Nanimon: “Stop looking at mine”

Jou: “YOU DONT HAVE ANY wait do you wAIT I DONT WANT TO LOOK”

Mimi is much more useful! She discovers a shiny rock!

Theory!

This rock... could be the raw material for their Crests!!! Squeee~!! I mean, it’s about time something about that came up, assuming it’s still a thing. (Since they already seem to have their Crests loaded in their Digivices and got to Perfect level without any talk of values and personal strengths, I don’t know how much of the old Crest legacy remains in this season.) I, uh, did the same thing in my fanfic so I guess I’m just biased... These could totally be Evil Rubies Of Darkness and Terror but I’d rather have Crests :p Of course I would have expected Mimi to find green stones in that case sooo... maybe not.

Anyway she and Palmon are suitably distracted from running from Golemon and go mining instead. I’m sure that will not cause any problems.

We swing back to Taichi and Hikari, who are being approached by a big scary monster...

Taichi: “Watch my Tarzan impression.”

Hikari: “Nooo! I don’t want to be Jane!”

Fortunately Agumon evolves just to catch them in midair x’D Now is not the time for impressions, Taichi, seriously.

They are attacked by Volcdramon, which is a dumbass name.

Voldramon: “I AM VOLCRADMON, THE VOLCANO DIGIMON”

Taichi: “Velcromon the Velcro Digimon?”

Voldramon: “what NO i am Volcdramon-”

Hikari: “Voltronmon? Voldemortmon?”

Voldramon: *sniveling* “why does this happen EVERY time i JUST want to be one of the cool guys youre all such BULLIES”

MetalGreymon and Volcdramon face off, but something’s not right! Much like... the Digimon in the last episode whose name I already forgot *cough*, Volcdramon seems able to absorb other Digimon’s power. This presents a problem because last time it took all of them shooting into its mouth together to overload it so they could win. MetalGreymon is having a hard time on his own as Volcdramon just absorbs all his attacks.

Hikari prays to Jesus to save them. Digimon is approved for Christian families 👼👼👼

ugggghhh I love them

Taichi promises Hikari everything will be okay. His back-and-forth with MetalGreymon here is kind of cool. Every time MetalGreymon takes a hit, Taichi’s encouragement and coaching?? I guess keeps frustration at bay.

Buuut eventually they’re both feeling pretty desperate :P It was hard for me to take this battle seriously since, after all we’ve seen MetalGreymon capable of, it seems weird that he should be struggling this much. But obviously they don’t just want to make him invincible. And this problem makes sense: the ability of Digimon to absorb attacks and turn them into energy is definitely a new problem.

The question is, how do we solve it?

Apparently it helps if you have a little sister who’s some kind of super battery.

Taichi: “Nothing shocks me anymore with Hikari. She could announce she’s been Beyonce this whole time and I would believe it”

WarGreymon appears (again) as his goldeny vision self, defeats Volcdramon, then promptly de-evolves back to Agumon.

So the question is, why is this happening... From earlier episodes we know Agumon & co are some group of legendary warriors who have had their memories tampered with (??) to some extent (because they do still know each other, or at least Agumon and Gabumon remember knowing each other). Omegamon’s a given for that of course so I suppose that’s why. Hikari seems to be the key to unlocking the legendary warriors, maybe with Takeru. That’s my guess. Of course, Tailmon’s probably already in the bad guys’ clutches, much like Patamon was. I hope she’s still working for them. I want more double agent fun times. Also ANGST

Hikari: “Thank you, Agumon-” *disappears*

Taichi: “GEEZ I can’t eat, can’t sleep, can’t even breathe without something bad happening anymore, like excuse me for BLINKING”

Yeah so... Skullknightmon appears and abducts Hikari like it’s nothing xD

Skullknightmon: “What’s under arm number two? Iiiiit’s your sister!”

Taichi: “Aw damn, I wanted the sports car”

Taichi quickly gives chase. I assume Agumon’s pretty exhausted after that and probably can’t evolve now. Bad timing. Oooor maybe this is all how Skullknightmon planned it...

Then... the unthinkable! Hikari looks at her brother rushing desperately to save her... and turns away!

Taichi is SHOCKED! Le GASP!

Taichi: “But but but I’m the MAIN CHARACTER”

Hikari: “Not anymore bitch it’s my show now”

Yeah okay jokes aside! This bit was AWESOME. Like, I’m sure it’s obvious that she can tell the voice that “called” her to the digital world is with Skullnightmon. Or at least, her heart’s telling her she has to go with him in order to meet that person (Tailmon, duh). I’ll be surprised if that’s not what’s going on. But... to so coldly just turn her back on her brother... I mean, maybe she also thinks she’s protecting him... but SHE JUST GOT HERE... holy crap...

To think we spent so long theorizing that Takeru would be the one abducted but no it’s Hikari... In retrospect should have been obvious. She’s 1) a girl and therefore a damsel, and 2) the one who was abducted in 99 xP

But I really like her semi-willingly going off with Skullnightmon. Much better than just screaming as she’s whisked away King Kong-style. In 99 she also got abducted voluntarily (I mean, it was coercion, so... that’s not voluntary, but you know what I mean). So they kept that in this season and I like it.

That’s it for this week’s episode! So the bits that I liked were the individual moments with the kids and their partners, of which we had more than usual but still not nearly enough. Nowhere near. In the end it was still a Taichi episode.

As a Taichi fan... it’s not like I’m ever sad that he gets more focus. But I love ALL the kids and they’re NOT getting development. We do keep getting hints about them but it’s so, so, so slow. To be fair, it’s not like we know THAT much about Taichi either. He gets so much focus because he’s always fighting. This season doesn’t seem concerned with personality and character bits like the 99 one, and I am gonna compare them for that. Because I think that was the heart of the 99 show. Without it, it’s missing something. I keep hoping it’ll come back, we keep getting those hints and special moments here and there, but the plot is such a distraction... if it was like a really good plot maybe I’d care less but...

Next week...  as far as I can see, it’s another Taichi episode xP But I do think they’ll do the same as this episode and intersperse Taichi’s battle with what’s going on with the others too. If that’s how they do it, I won’t mind. It might even be better. Fine, Taichi can fight, as long as the others are showing us more about themselves and getting other things done in the meantime. Mimi and Jou both look promising. Takeru too. Sora and Yamato, not sure..

Koushirou better not just sit at his computer the whole time -___-

Le owch.

Taichi: “Look being the main character’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I have three concussions and six broken bones. Also I can’t feel my toes anymore”

hang in there bud im cheering for ya

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

i havent been here in a hot second is there a reason for the makoto hate specifically? like the rants go back to p5's writing issues but the spite for makoto seems very specific did she kill someones dog in one of the spinoffs or what?

You're all good. So here's the thing, she did kill my dog-I'm joking.

When I say “I’m the residential #1 Makoto Hater” it’s a joke, partially cause it probs looks that way (and probs cause it might be true, who knows if you could quantify hate then maybe I’m at the top of the leaderboards 8U but you can’t so we’ll never know). But I’m saying it at as a joke, to own myself and everyone here that knows what I think of her, rather than wear it as a badge of honor or some silliness. It’s just a “oh haha yeah there goes Silly, dunking on Makoto again! She’s basically Makoto’s #1 hater haha oh she’s so silly.” (so please don’t look too deep into it, I just want to have fun).

Anyway, me hating Makoto isn’t new, but I do hold a similar ire towards Futaba, Goro (tho I have camaraderie with his fans, I relate to their struggle in terms of my own brown hair and red eye fav and Atlus screwing them over u_u I may hate your fave but I respect you and will be in your corner), and Yukari (as well as Chloe from LiS if you want a non-Persona example). Makoto might be talked about more because 1) She hits my buttons that much faster (Futaba/Goro are more like a festering wound, and when I talk about them it’s hard to pick a starting point), 2) Her fans tendency (early on in the fandom) bringing her up frequently.....was a bad combo with #1 (overexposure+pushing all my buttons really fast=disaster). Obvie not blaming her fans, but it was hard to curate how I was able to curate my content online (esp with gaming news websites calling her “best girl” when showing off a figure announcement or some BS when I just want to know what new games have been announced >.> I can do without you trying to start a waifu war in the comments Siliconera -_-)

Anyway, I think I’ve made my reasons for hating her very clear (you just have to search her name on my blog and you’ll get a ton of essays I’m sure, too many to count). And a lot of it is the failure of P5′s writing. “So it’s just the writing you hate, not the character.” No. Because that doesn’t make sense. Except under certain circumstances (which I’ll provide examples of below with Luke Skywalker), you can’t separate the writing from the character. The character IS the writing, the writing IS the character. If you can’t hate/dislike the char because “of the writing” then you also can’t love/like them either. The character and the writing/writing choices for that character are connected. The writing embodies that character. They are the same.

Now I said there was an exception, and that’s....”different writer/director,” tho it’s not ALWAYS the case (sometimes the new writer really gets the original writing, like Saito for MM.....they are very good at emulating the clusterfuck of P5′s writing). P5′s writing is the original basis for Makoto’s character, that’s her. You can’t separate it from her. Same thing with say....Luke Skywalker from the OG trilogy, that’s him. But then we get to the sequel/Disney trilogy, new writer/director....and yeah that’s a mess (from what I understand OG trilogy=Hopeful and tries to see the best in people, 2nd Disney=Cynic and tried to kill a child, 3rd Disney=Hopeful again for some reason). There’s character development, then there’s just straight up changing the character just cause you need them to be this now. 

*writes how this can apply to Persona spinoffs but deletes because I was getting too off track* Look at me exercising control. It��s probs best I save that for a meta after I’ve replayed all the spinoffs again.

But....if you want me to boil down my issues with Makoto, I hate the message we get from her. I hate the lesson we learn from her. What is supposed to happen vs what happens.  It’s supposed to be about a girl who is blindly following authority and becomes disillusioned with it after being burned by it, on top of “immense pressure” she has as well, and then comes to our side (we know this because Atlus told us). We don’t get that (we know this because we saw the execution). We get two adults, yes TWO ADULTS, one of which is her sister and wants her to do well in school (but isn’t like.....a tiger mom about it, because Sae can’t be TOO horrible because we need to like her later), who in retrospect seems very busy with her job (which gives Makoto freedom), but also feels burdened by her younger sister (in which she has one shitty slip with her and then NEVER again). And the other is a dumbass principal who asks a really strange and stupid task for Makoto that snowballs into bullshit. That’s IT! THAT’S IT! That’s all we get from Makoto and “authority.” Strawmen. We don’t really get much of her personality either (I’m not saying that cause “she’s cardboard” I legit just.....don’t get her? Like I don’t get enough of her to get a solid foundation, you get me?) Like as the player, what we see of her is she’s just studying in the library (Kamo arc), then the principal calls her in, she mentions the rumors about Kamo, he asks her to look into the PT in exchange for a recommendation (to which she’s surprised and says thanks, not no, she looks like she’ll accept JUST BASED ON THAT) but before she can even say Yes (OR NO) he threatens Makoto with her sister, to which Makoto hardens and then agrees. Then she acts like an asshole and yadda yadda stuff happens.

But if she’s supposed to blindly follow authority, she’d say yes, but then they don’t let the character breathe so she can make the “wrong” choice because the Principal goes STRAIGHT to threatening her.......so now the message is muddled, or really it’s non existent. The whole Sae thing is a nothing bag too, it’s just family drama. Her sister is, no HAS to be absent a lot for her work, just so Makoto can have the freedom to be a PT....which means....it hurts her lack of freedom and other stuff associated with Sae being a big pressure on Makoto’s life. You know, I’ve said before they’ve squandered Sae, and that Makoto’s presence really harmed Sae (iirc it was this post). But at the same time, how they handled Sae really screws up Makoto’s character. Neither are allowed to breathe. Neither are allowed to make a true, horrible choice...and then learn from it. They aren’t allowed to have an actual arc. Altus played it safe, took choice away from them, didn’t want to take risks with either character and have meaning. Instead we just have this nothing contradiction thing dicking around until they join our team. 

What really sucks about that....is we got that with the Kamo arc. With Anne, Ryuji, even Yuki and Shiho. Kamo was manipulative, and his manipulation caused people to make....not the best choices, all out of a means to survive. Ryuji physically acted against Kamo, and he got his leg broken, team disbanded, and outcasted. Anne was trying to protect Shiho’s position on the team, which lead to her almost getting harmed by Kamo, Shiho getting harmed, her not seeing the truth about what was going on around her, and she didn’t tell Shiho (because she didn’t want Shiho to think she didn’t get on the team for her own merits), and so on. Shiho didn’t tell Anne what was going on because she wanted to protect Anne from Kamo (and was afraid Anne would, very much blame herself), and her and Yuki and the rest of the teams helped keep quiet about Kamo so they wouldn’t be next on the physical chopping block. This isn’t me blaming them, this is me showing their choices, their attempts to fix their (hopeless) situation, to help themselves or others, and the dramatic irony being it just made everything worse. BUT, even tho Kamo was the real one to blame, each character is aware of the actions that were made, and the consequences of each action (esp Anne/Ryuji/Shiho). And in their CoOps, they identify this, and take strides to learn from it so it doesn’t happen again. That’s an arc. That’s character development. They were allowed to make errors, mistakes, decisions that negatively impacted themselves/other’s. We see a solid foundation of their character from the get go, and how it changes over that small time. We don’t get that with Makoto. The group is like solid concrete to Makoto who is like shifting sand. 

Sorry got a bit off topic, anyway, I hate her message of boasting about her fighting ability but she only harms her friends (outside of shadows, but that’s not special) WHILE ALSO being a damsel that needs someone else to rescue her! I hate how when she gets called out, she wants to drop it, and gives gaslighty apologies, even tho she really ROYALLY screwed lot of people very badly. I hate how she demands us to help, only to literally be a detriment to our investigation. I hate how she gets to fly off the handle without repercussions (despite needing to be cool calm and collected for her job, especially since she miraculously can do that when needed so what the hell????). I hate how the text has her be shitty, say shitty things, be bad at her job, but will turn around and reward her time and time again. 

Sure she doesn’t break the lore like Futaba, or unravel P5′s plot like Goro. But as a character with a message attached to her, even ones that the creators surely overlooked (I’m sure they didn’t intend for her to only hit her friends), it’s simple but very annoying. Fast and easy to see, doesn’t require me to think of P5′s lore as well as the grander Persona lore. Doesn’t require me to dig through text for Goro bread crumbs and then unravel the entire basis of the P5 plot thanks to him. Makoto is easier to get into, it’s smaller scale and more personal I guess. 

[mediaevalmusereads]

Master of Crows. By Grace Draven. Self Published (?), 2009.

Rating: 2/5 stars

Genre: fantasy romance

Part of a Series? Yes, Master of Crows #1

Summary: What would you do to win your freedom? This is the question that sets bondwoman, Martise of Asher, on a dangerous path. In exchange for her freedom, she bargains with her masters, the mage-priests of Conclave, to spy on the renegade sorcerer, Silhara of Neith. The priests want Martise to expose the sorcerer's treachery and turn him over to Conclave justice. A risky endeavor, but one she accepts without hesitation--until she falls in love with her intended target. Silhara of Neith, Master of Crows, is a desperate man. The god called Corruption invades his mind, seducing him with promises of limitless power if he will help it gain dominion over the world. Silhara struggles against Corruption's influence and searches for ways to destroy the god. When Conclave sends Martise as an apprentice to help him, he knows she's a spy. Now he fights a war on two fronts -against the god who would possess him and the apprentice who would betray him. Mage and spy search together for a ritual that will annihilate Corruption, but in doing so, they discover secrets about each other that may damn them both. Silhara must decide if his fate, and the fate of nations, is worth the soul of the woman he has come to love, and Martise must choose continued enslavement or freedom at the cost of a man's life. And love.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: sexual content, blood, magical violence

Overview: After being a little lukewarm on Radiance, I decided to give Grace Draven one more try, mostly because her books seem to be popular on tumblr. I picked up Master of Crows on a whim, and though I think it has more plot than Radiance, the main characters were really not to my taste. For me, Martise was too passive and Silhara was too much of a jerk to be likeable, and the massive power imbalance between the two meant that I didn’t really root for their relationship to succeed. Thus, this book only gets 2 stars from me.

Writing: Draven’s prose is fairly straight-forward. It’s easy to get through and it flows well, giving the reader just enough to know what’s going on. I don’t really have any criticisms for its simplicity because Draven is writing within romance, and the point isn’t to be poetic. Rather, it gets the job done, and I think most readers will appreciate that.

Where I do think I can criticize this book is in the repetition of phrases. More than twice, I saw the term “half mast” used to convey when a character’s eyes were half open, and I think I saw “tattoo” used multiple times to describe a rapid rhythm or tapping. It’s not the biggest deal, but I was definitely pulled out of the story when I noticed these things.

I also think I can criticize Draven for telling us some things that should have been shown. We’re told, for instance, that Silhara isn’t a noble man, that he’s selfish and ambitious, etc. but we’re never really shown scenes of him acting out of ambition or being actually tempted to give in to Corruption’s influence. I would have liked to see Silhara be put in positions where he is making choices or doing things that make the reader think he was susceptible to Corruptions influence. Maybe we see him researching spells for making himself more powerful. Maybe something happens on page with Conclave that is so bad, he starts seriously considering Corruption’s offer to give him revenge. It could be argued that we do get some of that, but it felt like everything was told to us, or happened in the past, and we were expected to absorb it.

Plot: Most of the non-romance plot of this book revolves around Silhara trying to figure out how to destroy the god Corruption while Martise acts as a spy, trying to get some dirt on him so the Conclave (a collection of priests/mages) will have an excuse to kill him. To be honest, I thought the initial premise was a good one; I liked the idea of conflicting loyalties and the eventual shift from enemies (of a sort) to lovers.

However, I do not think this plot was handled well, mainly because Corruption seemed to be a background threat. Multiple times throughout the book, we see Silhara be more or less tormented by the god, whether through dreams that keep him up at night, through disrupting Silhara’s magic abilities, through manifestations, and through temporary possession. While scary, I don’t think these scenes had much lasting impact, which didn’t make Corruption feel like a real threat. If Silhara is being kept awake at night, for example, I want to see scenes where his sleep deprivation gets him in trouble. If his magic is out of control, I want to see scenes where he has to decide whether he wants to risk using it or if he should go through his life without his powers. Something other than Corruption just being a lurking boogeyman that occasionally pops up and becomes a nuisance rather than a real, omnipresent force.

I also think Martise’s plot was a bit weak, mainly because we’re never really shown her having conflicting feelings or arguing with herself about whether or not to give Silhara to the Conclave. Martise is a slave, and her master promises to free her if she can get dirt on Silhara. While fine, the desire for freedom never seemed like a driving force for Martise; we never see her digging through Silhara’s study for potential dirt, of trying to eavesdrop or do other things that would show her actively trying to achieve her goal. Instead, Martise is rather passive, waiting for information to come to her, and she never really wrestles with her life as a slave, not the decision of whether or not to report Silhara once she falls in love with him. I would have liked to see more angst or at least more of an evolution where it felt like Martise had an arc independent of her service or usefulness to Silhara.

Characters: Martise, our heroine, is rather passive and seems to exist mainly to be used. I really didn’t like that she seemed to have no ambition or agency; she mostly waited for things to happen to her, and only shows agency towards the end, when the big showdown happens. Even her “gift” - the magic ability which lays dormant in her until Silhara awakens it - seems to be built around her being a tool to be used, and I was extremely disappointed that her arc didn’t seem to be about empowering her as a woman or as an ex-slave.

Silhara, our hero, is the type of love interest I absolutely hate. He’s extremely powerful, but is a complete jerk to the heroine and commits random violence towards other people out of jealousy. While we’re told over and over again that Martise loves him because he’s a good person at heart, I really didn’t see it. He not only beats up someone who speaks poorly of Martise, but he also seems comfortable ordering her around and treating her as a servant until the very end. The only redeeming qualities he had seemed to be that he doesn’t like people treating women poorly (which, ok, I guess) and he’s kind to his servant, Gurn. Other than that, he’s not an alluring figure.

Side characters were fun, if under utilized. Gurn is Silhara’s mute servant who uses a kind of sign language to communicate. I really liked this character because it inserts some disability representation, and I liked his relationship with Martise. The two seemed to bond over their shared status as servants, and I honestly wish there had been more of an arc or exploration about class with these two. Other characters served their purposes. Cumbria, Martise’s owner, is largely absent, but manages to look bad in every way. He’s not a super compelling antagonist just because he’s not on the page too often, but when he is, I think Draven did a good job not making him over-the-top evil. He’s mostly just greedy and petty, and I wish he had been used more deliberately in conjunction with Silhara’s exile as a commentary on corruption within religious orders. Corruption, the god, is a different story. As I explained in the plot section above, Corruption isn’t much more than a boogeyman, and I got really tired of him really fast.

I’m not sure how to feel, however, about the Kurman people in this book. The Kurmans are a nation/ethnic group/tribe/society with some rather odd gender dynamics. Women can apparently own property and vote, and they are supposedly respected, but they are kept separate from men much of the time, wait on men at feasts, can’t meet men’s eyes unless they want to communicate sexual availability, and so on. It was rather bizarre to me, and I seemed to be getting conflicting ideas about whether or not this society was feminist or not. I also wasn’t sure if they were supposed to be modeled on any real-life ethnic groups or societies; they are described as wearing pointy shoes, having swarthy/dark skin, having multiple wives, etc. so I got the impression that they might have been like Arabs, Mongols, or Ethiopians (due to the food they eat, etc), but if so, I didn’t quite like how Silhara refers to them as “barbarian,” even if it was in jest.

Romance: I couldn’t get on board with this romance. At all. Martise was already too subservient as a character, and while I get that some of this could be a survival technique, it didn’t make sense that Silhara would fall for her based on the ways in which she surprised or challenged him. Because she barely did. She never called Silhara out in any meaningful way and seemed to go along with whatever he wanted until the end.

Most of my discomfort, however, comes from two main issues: 1.) Silhara never seems to put Martise’s well-being first, and 2.) there is a huge power imbalance between the two that isn’t corrected until the very end, and Silhara never seems to be interested in leveling the playing field. First, Martise’s well-being: Silhara constantly offered comments that seemed to tear Martise down or, at the very least, be a back-handed compliment. He never seems to want to find ways of making her happy, and he centers his own desire and well-being even after big things happen. For instance, in a scene where Silhara is temporarily possessed by Corruption, he hurts Martise so badly that she cannot speak (as in, he chokes her almost to blackout). When he is freed from possession, he never seems to care about what he did to Martise or how she might be in pain. Instead, the first thing he does is order Martise to get away from him, then he orders Gurn to look after Martise to make sure she’s ok. All the while, he focuses on his own pain and jokes about his balls (which Martise kicked in order to free herself from his grasp). I was flabbergasted - why wouldn’t you want to make sure for yourself your lover is ok after something like that?

Second, the power imbalance. Even though Silhara doesn’t know Martise is a slave for the majority of the book, he does take her into his household as a servant, and has no qualms about ordering her about or taking advantage of her gentle nature. You’d think that if someone fell in love with a servant, much of the romance would be about overcoming class barriers or finding some way to put the two characters on equal footing. Sometimes, this is done by the lower class person having a sharper wit or calling out the upper class person on things that make them change for the better. Martise and Silhara never seem to have that arc. Martise calls Silhara “Master” throughout the whole book, and Silhara didn’t seem uncomfortable with it except when they were having sex. He never stops presuming to give Martise orders and expecting she obey them, not even at the very end when the question of her freedom gets resolved. And there are books out there where this class barrier is done well (Jane Eyre comes to mind), so I think Draven could have put more work into exploring the dynamics and how Martise is a match for Silhara, even given her status and lack of magic (at least, for a while).

TL;DR: Master of Crows has a good premise, but ultimately suffers from unlikeable or passive protagonists, a weak plot, and a romance with uneven power dynamics.

[psychicanchortimemachine]

A Time To Transition: Hybrid Apps And React Native?

Like musicians, all professionals must often question their methodologies and spot what other options exist. If one method become previously the pleasant, that doesn't suggest it stays the first-rate. Then again, many established strategies had been the exceptional for many years and might by no means be surpassed. The critical aspect is that one is willing to don't forget opportunity techniques and isn't too heavily biased toward the one they may be most familiar with. This evaluation is frequently more hard in software improvement because new frameworks and technology emerge nearly as quickly as they die off.

This article will observe this analysis to hybrid cell apps and present why I without a doubt agree with that React Native is in many ways a advanced solution for apps developed in 2017, although it introduces some temporary pains even as you’re getting acclimated. To do this, we are able to revisit why hybrid apps have been created initially and discover how we got to this point. Then, inside this context, we’ll talk how React Native stacks up and provide an explanation for why it is the better technique in maximum cases.

An Origin Story

It’s 2010. Your business enterprise has a pretty awesome net utility that uses jQuery (or, if you’re hip, some sort of

AngularJS

and React precursor like Mustache). You have a team of builders in a position in HTML, CSS and JavaScript. All of a sudden, cell apps are taking over. Everyone has one. Mobile apps are the new Tickle Me Elmo! You frantically studies a way to make your own mobile app and right away run into a host of issues. Your team is ill-prepared for the task. You don’t have Java or Objective-C developers. You can’t have the funds for to develop, check and deploy two separate apps! Not to worry. The

hybrid

cellular app is your silver bullet. This brilliant new technology lets in you to quick and (in theory) easily reuse what you have (code and builders) on your lustrous new cell app. So, you choose a framework (Cordova, PhoneGap, etc.) and get to work building or porting your first cellular app! For many organizations and builders, their troubles have been solved. They should now make their very own cellular apps.

Problems Arise

Ever due to the fact that 2010, developer forums, blogs and message boards were complete of arguments approximately the efficacy of hybrid apps. Despite the excellent promise and flexibility described within the preceding paragraphs, hybrid apps have had and maintain to face a completely actual collection of challenges and shortcomings. Here are a few of the maximum outstanding problems

USER-EXPERIENCE SHORTCOMINGS

Over the beyond couple of years, the bar for UX in cellular apps has risen dramatically. Most smartphone proprietors spend the majority in their time using most effective a handful of premiere apps. They, perhaps unfairly, count on any new app they try to be as polished as Facebook, MLB TV, YouTube and Uber. With this very high bar, it is quite difficult for hybrid apps to measure up. Issues such as sluggish or restrained animations, keyboard misbehavior and frequent lack of platform-precise gesture recognition all add as much as a clunkier experience, which makes hybrid apps second-magnificence citizens. Compounding this issue is hybrid apps’ reliance at the open-source community to write wrappers for local functionality. Here is a screenshot from an app that highlights all of these issues. This app was decided on from Ionic’s show off and was created with the aid of Morgan Stanley.

A few things ought to be at once apparent. This app has a totally low rating (2.5 stars). It does not look like a cell app and is simply a port of a cell internet app. Clear giveaways are the non-native segmented control, font size, textual content density and non-native tab bar. The app does no longer support features which can be greater effortlessly implemented when constructing natively. Most importantly, customers are noticing all of these troubles and are summarizing their feelings as “feels outdated.”

USER INTERFACE CHALLENGES

The majority of users are very short to uninstall or forget new apps. It is vital that your app makes a wonderful first impact and is without problems understood with the aid of customers. A large part of this is about looking sharp and being familiar. Hybrid apps can look awesome, but they do have a tendency to be greater platform-agnostic in their UI (if they appear to be a web app) or foreign (if they appear like an iOS app on Android or vice versa). Before even installing an app, many would-be clients will review photos within the app store. If those screenshots are unappealing or off-putting, the app won't be downloaded at all. Here is an instance app observed at the Ionic showcase. This app changed into created by Nationwide, and, as you could tell, each apps look just like a mobile-pleasant website, instead of a cellular app.

It is obvious from the app save reviews (3 stars on both platforms) that this app has numerous issues, however it is not likely that any app with this UI might attract new customers. It is clearly best used by existing customers who think they might as well strive it out.

PERFORMANCE ISSUES

The most not unusual complaints approximately hybrid apps cite terrible performance, insects and crashes. Of course, any app could have these troubles, however performance issues have long plagued hybrid apps. Additionally, hybrid apps frequently have less offline support, can take longer to open and perform worse in negative network conditions. Any developer has heard any of the above called a “bug” and has had their app publicly penalized as a result.

OVERALL LACK OF PREMIER APPS

All of these troubles have added up to the great majority of most useful apps being written natively. A quick have a look at each PhoneGap’s and Ionic’s showcases exhibit a considerable shortcoming in greatest apps. One of the most relatively touted hybrid apps is Untappd, which notwithstanding being a pretty brilliant platform, has fewer than 5 million downloads. This might appear like a massive number, however it puts it pretty a long way down the list of maximum used apps. Additionally, there may be a lengthy list of apps that have migrated from hybrid to local. That list includes Facebook, TripAdvisor, Uber, Instagram and many others. It would be quite challenging to find a listing of high-cease apps which have moved from local to hybrid.

FINAL DEFENCE OF HYBRID APPS

The point of this section isn't to be overly essential of hybrid apps, however to show that there's room for an alternative method. Hybrid apps were a very vital technology and have been used successfully in lots of cases. Returning to the Ionic showcase, there are numerous apps that look higher than those above. Baskin Robbins, Pacifica and Sworkit are three recent examples. For the past four years, hybrid app builders and frameworks were working tough to enhance their apps, and they have completed an admirable job. However, underlying troubles and foundational shortcomings remain, and ultimately better options can be determined if you’re constructing a new app in 2017.

Another Approach

Although it is clear that hybrid apps do no longer quite stack up towards native apps, their benefits and achievement can’t be ignored. They assist resolve very real resource, time and talents issues. If there was another method that solved these equal troubles, while additionally eliminating the shortcomings of hybrid apps, that could be extraordinarily appealing. React Native might just be the answer.

OVERVIEW AND ADVANTAGES

React Native is a cross-platform mobile application development framework that builds at the popular React web development framework. Like React, React Native is an open-source assignment maintained largely by builders at Facebook and Instagram. This framework is used to create Android and iOS applications with a shared JavaScript code base. When growing React Native apps, all of your commercial enterprise good judgment, API calls and kingdom management live in JavaScript. The UI elements and their styling are genericized to your code however are rendered because the native views. This allows you to get a high diploma of code reuse and now have a UI that follows each platform’s style guide and quality practices. React Native additionally permits you to write platform-particular code, common sense and styling as needed. This could be as easy as having platform-precise React components or as superior as using a platform-specific C library on your React Native app.

SIMILARITIES TO HYBRID APPS

Like hybrid app frameworks, React Native allows actual cross-platform development. Instagram has shared that it is seeing between eighty five and 99% code reuse for its React Native projects. Additionally, React Native is built using technologies (JavaScript and React) that many web developers will be acquainted with. In the event that a developer is not familiar with React, it's far a dramatically less complicated to analyze if they're acquainted with AngularJS, jQuery or vanilla JavaScript than it would be to examine Objective-C or Java. Additionally, debugging React Native apps need to additionally be a acquainted manner for web developers. This is because it's far exceptionally clean to use Chrome’s debugging gear to monitor a code’s behavior. Chrome tools can be used whilst viewing apps in an emulator or on actual devices. As an brought bonus, developers also can use more native debuggers as needed. The major takeaway here is that React Native solves the equal core issues that hybrid app frameworks set out to remedy.

FURTHER IMPROVEMENTS OVER HYBRID APPS

Unlike hybrid apps, React Native apps run natively, instead of within a web view. This means they are no longer confined to web-based UI factors, which may be slow when paired with a poor JavaScript interpreter. Because React Native renders local UI factors, apps right now feel more at home on the platform and make the user greater snug on first use. Additionally, developer fine of life can be progressed with React Native through more whole use of local tooling and profiling utilities. Below is screenshots of a recently launched React Native app. These pictures highlight the platform-unique interface that may be achieved the usage of this framework. As you may see, each app uses its local map and has callouts that follow every platform’s design guidelines. On Android, the callout is a card that rises from the lowest of the map. On iOS, the callout connects to the selected detail on the map. The equal actions may be completed in both apps, and most of the code is shared, but that extra bit of platform-particular polish definitely enables with standard usability.  HOW Would YOU DO?

Below is a sample feature called React Native. It displays some specific elements that make up React Native apps and highlights areas web developers may already learn about. The code snippet is followed by a description of what each section does.

Much of the code above ought to be acquainted to maximum web developers. The massive majority of the code is simply JavaScript. Much of the rendering logic will be new, but the migration from HTML to the React Native views is quite straightforward. Additionally, the style attributes are quite similar to CSS. Let’s stroll through some of this code: kingdom

State is an object that carries the various values that our issue MovieList needs to function. When nation properties are changed (the usage of this.SetState()), the entire aspect is re-rendered to reflect the ones changes.

ComponentWillMount

ComponentWillMount is a lifestyle characteristic that is known as prior to the thing being rendered. Initial network requests often belong in this function.

_fetchMovies

This feature makes a community request that returns an array of film objects. After it successfully completes, it updates country with the listing and sets loading to false. Note that it also units the preliminary filteredMovies to the returned list.

_applyFilter

This function is referred to as by our imported SearchBar element. For simplicity’s sake, assume that this function is known as (probable with some debounce) every time the value typed into the SearchBar factor is changed. This feature just carries some JavaScript that filters the filteredMovies listing to the applicable titles.

_renderTitleRow

This function outputs the view for a unmarried movie. It incorporates a few good judgment to make sure our output is uniform and renders a basic text thing.

Render()

This function outputs the view for the factor. It conditionally renders the listing of movies or a loading animation, relying at the loading fee stored inside the kingdom object.

WHO IS DOING THIS?

When deciding a way to build your personal application, it is crucial to learn from enterprise leaders. Other companies and developers would possibly have wasted years and millions of dollars building applications, and in minutes you may research from their errors and experiences. Here is a quick list of some huge businesses which can be using React Native in their apps: Facebook, Instagram, Airbnb, Baidu, Discord, Tencent, Uber and Twitter. Many of those apps were at the beginning written using other approaches however have transitioned fully to React Native or are now the use of React Native to enhance their present local applications. There is a extraordinary fashion of many most appropriate apps being moved to React Native as a cross-platform solution, whereas, previously, most generation shifts amongst this magnificence of apps were from cross-platform to platform-specific. This change genuinely can’t be ignored.

What Should You Do Now?

Just just like the musician who has to rethink their method to progress, so too must cell app developers reconsider their technologies. It is vital that we make decisions based at the high-quality options to be had and no longer rely totally on our familiarities. Even if the transition is uncomfortable initially, our industry and the app marketplace are highly competitive and demand that we preserve to progress. React Native is a highly attractive generation that mixes the reusability and cost-effectiveness of hybrid apps with the polish and performance of local apps. It is seeing fast adoption and must be considered as an alternative technique for any upcoming would-be hybrid apps.  As a reputed Software Solutions Developer we have expertise in providing dedicated remote and outsourced technical resources for software services at very nominal cost. Besides experts in full stacks We also build web solutions, mobile apps and work on system integration, performance enhancement, cloud migrations and big data analytics. Don’t hesitate to

get in touch with us!

[studyingoose]

i’m always trying to find ways to lessen my impact on the environment but being a uni student means that most of the time i’m trying to find a balance between realistic long term actions and sustainability. so below, i’ve shared some of the ways i currently help lessen my environmental impact as well as some habits i’d like to slowly integrate into my life in the future.

bring your own water bottle - i think this one is pretty straight forward. i’m very lucky in the sense that my university provides a lot of refill stations. i usually pack my water the night before with my lunch so i don’t have to stress about it the next day. plus!! with my own water bottle, i can add lemon slices or mint etc. in winter, i like to use a thermos and bring honey lemon water, hot tea, or just not chilly water.

pack your own lunch - this not only helps you save money but also makes sure you know what you’re eating. i have a perfect sandwich sized container as well so it means i don’t have to use plastic wrap for anything. since i’m a vegetarian, most of my meals are pretty straightforward and feature rice, pasta, eggs etc. that i can buy in bulk with less plastic packaging as well.

bring your own utensils/keep cup - if you enjoy coffee, either sit in the cafe or bring your own reusable keep cup! my university is really conscious about this so all the nearby cafes let us bring our own cups and sometimes you even get discounts for not using single use cups. when i do go out to eat as well, i try to bring my own utensils so i don’t have to use the single use plastic (or even those wooden chopsticks) this also applies to straws for bubble tea or smoothies.

switch milks - i know a lot of people already have coconut, soy, almond milks with their coffee/tea due to lactose intolerance/other medical/personal reasons. many coffee shops do charge for plant milks but if they don’t then it’s an option since the dairy industry produces a lot of methane (also plant based milks are healthier). i don’t personally buy milk often because i don’t drink it so it’s not a big dent in my budgeting but if it is then don’t worry about it.

reuse notebooks  - on top of recycling my scrap paper, i reuse notebooks that i never finished. instead of organising my notebooks in terms of papers or courses, i separate them by area of study so it means that i can use the same notebook for 3/4 years for politics or english. otherwise, i use the backs of notebooks to write practice essays, do past papers, doodle, do random brain dumps etc. essentially i treat unused paper in notebooks like loose leaf.

buy pen refills and do pen audits - find out what pens you actually use!! i know for me, i’ve felt pressured by the studyblr “aesthetic” to buy stationary that i don’t have a use for and it just results in unnecessary consumerism. i use roughly 10 pens at most as well as some art supplies but for my pens, i try to use refills instead of replacing the entire pen. in the future, i’d like to also stop using correction tape and be comfortable enough to just cross things out. i have to use a wide range of pencils for art but in general use, i simply own 3 mechanical pencils and refill the lead instead.

carry a reusable shopping bag - recently, my country banned single use plastic bags so now everyone uses reusable shopping bags or no bags. although you can buy brown paper bags for 20 cents in supermarkets, you never know what you’ll need to carry around so i like to bring a tote bag.

invest in a quilt - i am super guilty of getting cold really easily and that means i usually have the heater/thermostat on in winter when i’m studying but recently i’ve come to realise that i abuse that a lot. so instead of automatically going to turn on the heater, i try to see if i’m wearing enough first or getting a quilt to put on my lap when i feel cold. this way i don’t have to rack a super high power bill in winter.

change your mailing options - previously i’d get mail from my bank regarding bank statements etc. now i’ve opted for monthly statements online instead saving the paper that they’d use mailing me, similarly i no longer sign up for coupon books, circulars, random magazines etc.

thrift shop your clothes - i feel like this is a really big trend in my city but i’m trying to only thirft shop my clothes now instead of buying new. the thrift shops that i have access to are really good quality and it’s basically a reseller where people who bring their clothes in get 50% of the sale. this does mean that clothes are pricier than big chains like h&m but it also means that you have to think about the purchase for longer + a lot of the finds are super unique and will most likely last longer.

mend your own clothes - in a similar sense to thrifting, don’t just throw out a shirt because it’s missing a button. a 20 minute youtube tutorial can make sure that shirt remains a staple item in your wardrobe. plus sewing leads to darning your socks, knitting, crochet, or even making your own clothes.

consider epilating/laser hair removal - i used to go through so many plastic razors during summer because i was someone who preferred no hair. i know there are many people who don’t mind their body hair and that’s great! for those of you who do however, considering an epilator (multi use) or even laser hair removal (permanent). both are more expensive however they both also use less plastic (compared to fornightly/monthly throwing away of razors)

bulk make your own snacks - i really want to make my own museli bars in the future since i eat them a lot. usually i try to limit my snacks to things like carrot/celery sticks, fruit, nuts, berries etc. but i try to not get individually packaged snacks (they can be more expensive as well since you’re paying for convenience). this is definitely something i can work on but i’d like to be able to bulk make my own granola, museli, dips etc. in the future.

replant your vegetables - this is a lot more achievable for me since the place i live is rural in land style. currently my family has a multitude of fruit trees, tea trees and we’ve recently gotten into reusing our vegetable scraps. for celery/cabbage/lettuce/etc. you can replant the root area. the same goes for spring onions (which are super easy to grow! and garlic cloves!) most vegetables are quite easy to grow with just a bit of googling. even if you don’t have a lot of space but would like to give this a shot, consider adding some herbs to your indoors plant collection.

visit farmers markets - unfortunately, this isn’t that big a thing where i live but i remember going to a few as a kid and the produce is much fresher, the atmosphere is lovely, and it’s a good way to source food and products. many stalls also sell premade items like jams, sauces, baked goods, soap etc. so if you find yourself busy then it may be a possible investment to buy from farmers markets.

some other habits: composting, public transport, bicycling, bamboo toothbrushes, natural home cleaners, raising your own animals, beeswax wraps, cloth napkins/handkerchiefs, buy in bulk, use rain water to water your plants, invest in a menstrual cup, choose wooden over plastic

disclaimer: you don’t necessarily need to buy anything to be more environment friendly!! some things on this list do suggest it but look at your life currently, if you don’t drink coffee or tea on the go then there’s no need for a keep cup etc. invest in products, don’t just buy them because they’ve been advertised.also, i’d like to iterate that whilst climate change is a very real and very scary threat,  personal use by the general population only results in a small part of it so please don’t feel like you’re letting anyone down if your personal situation or any part of your life prevents you from doing more than a few things to help the environment. as long as you’re not being dick to the environment and taking 4 hour showers, using 500 plastic straws a day then doing your best is enough. if you can’t do anything more in lessening your environmental footprint, then that’s okay. other people might be able to so even just spreading the news could help a lot.

if you have any other habits that you do not in this list then please tell me as well so we can all learn from each other !

happy learning everyone xx