#inspo: incorrectocquotations

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Galadriel: So I have made the decision to trust you.

Halbrand: A horrible decision, really.

[ikilledamanforthisurl]

So @incorrectocquotations posted a thing and I just

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Galadriel: Do you ever miss your old job?

Halbrand: Miss commanding regimented forces of destructive power as we encircled the world with our terrible iron fist of might? Crushing all the pathetic fools who dared stand before us? Gorging our bellies on their cries for mercy!? Until at last! I ALONE STAND AS THE GLORIOUS DARK LORD OF ALL THE KNOWN UNIVERSE!?

Galadriel: ...

Halbrand: Not at all, don’t miss it.

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Celebrimbor: We’re kind of missing something, guys.

Gil-Galad: Cohesion?

Gil-Galad: Teamwork?

Gil-Galad: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Elrond, awkwardly: And Galadriel is not here.

Gil-Galad: Oh, and that, yeah.

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Galadriel: So... I saw a bunch of corpses in the yard...

Galadriel: Did you have anything to do with that, Halbrand?

Halbrand: Why do you automatically assume it was me?

Galadriel:

Halbrand:

Halbrand: Alright, fair enough.

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Disa, happily: Elrond and Durin are hugging!

King Durin III: I'll get the hose.

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Adar: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!

Arondir: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.

Bronwyn: More or less, I guess...

Isildur: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!

Halbrand: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.

Galadriel: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

[incorrectringsofpower]

Poppy: Love makes people do stupid things.

Nori: I love everything!

Poppy: That explains a lot.

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[Season 1, Episode 2]

Durin, walking outside: Get the F out of my yard!

Elrond: [Running away with a giant letter F]

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Halbrand: What is this?!

Galadriel: That’s the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.

Halbrand: Ow! Make it stop!

Galadriel: Surrender to your kindness, Halbrand. It’s nice to be nice.

Halbrand: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

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Adar: I wanna let you all know...

Adar: I have good news.

*Mt Doom explodes*

Adar: *laughing* It worked!

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Elendil: Just be yourself.

Halbrand: Really? Elendil, I have one day to win over Galadriel’s family.

Halbrand: How long did it take for you guys to like me?

Isildur: Couple of weeks.

Míriel: Six months.

Bronwyn: Jury’s still out.

Halbrand: See Elendil? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

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Gil-Galad: (holding up a box of Lofthouse cookies) It’s that time of the year again, when stores sell these bottom-of-the-barrel, flavorless piece of shit things they have the nerve to call cookies.

Elrond: I don’t know who hurt you or how bad... but I need you to take this negativity out elsewhere. These cookies are the backbone of this nation.

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Elendil: You’re a loose cannon, Isildur.

Isildur: No, I’m not. I’m a cannon, maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Ontamo: I think you play by your own rules.

Valandil: No way, he thinks rules were made to be broken.

Elendil: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Isildur: No, I’m just a reckless renegade. Kemen is a loose cannon.

Kemen: *smashes a chair* Aah! You shut your trap, Isildur!

Valandil: I’d say Kemen’s more of a noble on the edge with nothing to lose. That’s an entirely different thing.

Ontamo: Now I’m just confused. Is Isildur a loose cannon or not?

Elendil: All right, put on a pot of coffee. We’re gonna get to the bottom of this.

Isildur: *groans*

Kemen: Aw, man.

[incorrectringsofpower]

Halbrand, to Celebrimbor: Firstly, how dare you use mathematics to make me look stupid!

Halbrand: I’m actually very good at mathematics.

Halbrand: Thirdly, I think you might be right.

[incorrectringsofpower]

Halbrand, to Galadriel: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.