#inspired by the keefe one i just saw

[lesson-in-ruthlessness]

I lied, put your clothes back on. We're going to talk about how Grady's been alive for at least two centuries, most likely manifested when he was between the ages of 12 and 14, and therefore had been severely distrusted since he was a child. for two centuries. We're going to talk about how Edaline is most likely the only person (who isn't his daughter, adopted or otherwise) who has ever truly, fully, and unconditionally loved Grady in all his years of living.

Put your clothes back on. We're going to talk about how this is a best case scenario version of Brant and Jolie's relationship. If pyrokinesis wasn't banned after The Incident, it would still be heavily stigmatized and people with the ability would be distrusted. Viewed as dangerous. Jolie fell in love with Brant thinking he was Talentless; the bad match, Jolie was in love with him even after she found out the truth. She would have fallen in love with Brant even if she knew at the start. Their relationship would have been comparable to Grady and Edaline's, a Conjurer falls in love with someone the society deems as untrustworthy, unlovable, and dangerous.

Put your clothes back on. We're going to talk about how Edaline Ruewen and Jolie Ruewen are the two most caring individuals in the Lost Cities.

[the-way-astray]

i hear the katria bug is catching? well i'm going. to make it worse.

presenting to your askboxes (this is a dual pov fic and a version of this will go out to katie too), with worldbuilding inspired by "the other woman" (other woman anon if you're out there know that i'm thinking about your fic.....)

note that this is au to real life keepblr events and their chronology. for the most part.

~~~

Agree To Disagree (Stria's Version) [Part One]

Stria was sitting at her computer, Tumblr open, and checking out the girl she'd met that morning in the Keeper Forum.

She'd been a nice girl, Katie, with a bright smile, pretty eyes, and an adorable cat trotting along beside her. From the outset, something about her had screamed 'popular' to Stria, even though there was no gaggle of followers and mutuals behind her as there tended to be around popular people in large fandom forums. When they'd bumped into each other, they'd smiled, chatted about the fine weather, and swapped Tumblrs since Stria didn't have an AO3 handle. And that had been that.

But something, something indefinable about Katie, had fascinated her beyond idle username swapping. So here she was, looking up myfairkatiecat on Tumblr.

Stria opened the page to Katie's blog, and read through the pinned post and its long, extensive list of fandoms. Right after those she found a few random anon asks answered indulgently by Katie, along with pictures of her cat Gracie. There—that was more than proof that she was a popular blog. Stria wouldn't follow, of course—her circle of mutuals was quite small. But there would be, she concluded as she scrolled further on, no harm in keeping up casual conversation. Katie quite enjoyed character analysis, after all, or so she'd told Stria that morning.

And then, Stria saw the fateful post. The type of post that had contributed heavily (among other things) to her discerning taste in follow-backs.

Oh, she thought. She likes Keefe.

Stria was well aware that a large contingent of people who actively frequented the Keeper Forum were Keefe lovers. While she couldn't even hope to understand why they did it (after all, she was the one who'd written and posted an anti-Keefe rant that was seventy-five pages in its first part alone), she had no real issues with them. Fanon Keefe was alright with her, and she was a believer in ship-and-let-ship and all its many variants.

However, her Keefe-haterism and other sadly controversial takes (such as that Alden did not deserve the hate he got!!) had made her somewhat notoriously famous. It had encouraged people to take to arguing with her about her opinions—which she would not have minded if the arguments had been well-thought-out. She was glad that most of these were directed at her Alden thoughts and staunch denial of the Elwin-is-Sophie's-bio-father theory, and not her Keefe rant, since responding to badly-thought-out responses to her passionate rant would have been enough to make her deactivate, probably. But, that said, she'd been aching for a challenge. A worthy opponent. Someone who loved Keefe as fervently as she hated him, without excusing his character flaws, ill-addressed though they were.

Could Katie—Katie who defended her liking of Anakin Skywalker, who reminded her large circle of unabashed Keefe lovers to consider their love through the lenses of his flaws—be that?

A notification came up on her screen. A comment on her Keefe rant. From myfairkatiecat.

Ok as soon as I have time I’m reading this whole thing, so just a fair warning, I’m a debate team girlie and I’m probably gonna disagree with you on a lot of things, and since you said it’s ok to argue I probably will. But I want to say up front that since it is a work of fiction it’s not that deep even if I treat it like it is and that if you want me to stop I will :) basically I really like debating so I’m probably going to go all out but it’s not meant to be taken personally at all [A/N credit to @myfairkatiecat this is directly from her comment reply to Stria's rant, which she made in June 2024.]

Ah yes. Stria couldn't resist a little giggle. This is going to be fun indeed.

~~~

so, thoughts? if you want a part two i'll make one :)

katie's version @myfairkatiecat @/the-other-woman-writer (i don't think they'll see this lmfao they seem to be mostly wrapped up in isa/katie's mutual circle's drama)

KATIE BRINGS GRACIE TO THE FORUMS AWWWW

"something about her screams popular" nobody on tumblr is popular and everyone here is lame. this the lame uncool site. hope this helps

CHATTED ABOUT THE FINE WEATHER LMFAOOOO

HOW DO YOU KNOW MY CIRCLE OF MUTUALS IS SMALL ANON HOW (it's true but like. how.)

this reminds me that i still need to post that pro alden essay. whoopsie

STAUNCH DENIAL OF THE ELWIN IS SOPHIE'S BIO DAD THEORY IS UNDERSTANDABLE THAT THEORY SUCKS

not the anakin skywalker mention . . . i know nothing about star wars at all but if i'm not wrong he's the villain? idk man just trying to see where katie's coming from. this feels very relevant to my "arguing that villains are well-written while at the same time arguing that good guy characters are poorly written makes perfect sense" argument

my thoughts are that anon, you're walking through a minefield here. one wrong interpretation and me and/or katie and/or her anons might blow you sky-high (/j we're very level-headed i swear we are so fun to talk to trust)

part two would be hilarious lowkey

[a-random-person-on-the-interent]

CALLING ALL PEOPLE WHO DISLIKE THE LOST CITIES AND THINK THEY'RE SHIT

we need to make like a discord or something to talk about it, or like write essays which I think I'm planning on doing, because the lost cities is shit, I feel very strongly about this as a disabled person, and you might ask why would me being disabled have anything to do with it, EUGENICS and the Talentless and even how disabled people are treated by the narrative. Because didn't Keefe descripe feeling talentless people as being hollow and not quite complete, WHICH IS WHAT DISABLED PEOPLE (or at least people with Autism like myself) HAVE BEEN CALLED FOR YEARS. I really want a charcter to have been born with a disability (ADHD, ASD, EDS, down syndrome, Dyslexia, dysgraphia, ect) or for the series to recognize that being talentless is having a disability or even the series to recongize mental health conditions (PTSD, BPD, Depression Schizoprenia, delusions) like Sophie has all the symptoms for PTSD, and one could argue she's dyslexic with her not being able to read runes. Also back to the eugenics talk, eugenics in history have been useally used on disabled people, like myself. There are no LGBTQ characters which can be fine, I'd like some but it's not a big problem expect... EUGENICS. the elves soiciety is based on Eugenics meaning that if someone was gay or lesbian or aroace, they probably would be scorned if not it being banned to be gay or lesbian. What about trans people? well the lost cities seem to function on that they are perfect the way they're born, and if one is not born perfect (Like the talentless) you are socially exiled. The susicde rates must be massive there, but I doubt anyone will talk about them because they'll be shamed.

Let's not even get into Exile cause that is just Touture, and I'm not kidding solitary confine meant is torture, fintans cell tourture, I'm not saying it isn't effective cause it is. but the elves claim to be morally superior to humans than do that. Memory breaks would also count as tourture as you are breaking someones mind till they are practically dead. And we saw how that effected Aladin. What about the white room tourture they had Vesperia be in for centuries. there politcal system is fucked too, Cause a friendship is just as important as a romantic relationship so if they wanted them to be completey unbiased the councliers shouldn't be allowed to have friends or family, and that doesn't stop the heart from from falling in love with someone and giving them special treatment.

I think anyone with half a brain could tell you that feeding carniverous animals strickly vegan diet is bad, so let's move on to the education system and I'm 90% sure that elves are just lying about how much they helped humans, like I'm 100% sure that Mr. Forkle only thinks he inspired Loki, cause if you know any myths about him you'd know they are not similar at all well maybe aside from the shapeshifting like didn't at one point they say they helped them discover electicity, like eceletricity was ORGINALLY discovered in 600 BCE they at that time were probbaly still living among humans, like I'm sorry but you guys probbaly didn't help with anything and might've actually prolonged the process because you thought you knew better. and y'know what they probbaly haven't even gotten to the center of the earth yet which is 2,9000 KM down, but back to education, it's so heavily bias, that all the other speices that aren't elves are like what the fuck is this, this isn't how it happened, so my best guess is that it's full of misinformation. Y'know what I should make a skit of, "If I was in the lost cities"

[mallowmelt-down]

I just went to see the Barbie movie for the second time and I’ve been wondering how the KOTLC gang would react to it so here’s my thoughts.

Keefe: He ordered an ‘I am Kenough’ sweatshirt before the credits even finished. He definitely says that Ken is literally him. He memorized Ken’s entire song and of course he used his mimicking skills to do it in Ryan Gosling’s voice. Secretly, it was hard for him as an Empath to watch the movie, especially with Sophie and her strong emotions sitting next to him.

Sophie: She thinks it’s an absolute masterpiece and 100% cried during the Billie Eilish song “What Was I Made For” given her own past with the Black Swan. Since none of her friends truly understands what it means to be human, she called Amy that night and they chatted about it for hours. She would definitely sneak out to the Forbidden Cities to see it again with Amy.

Fitz: He has had some experience with Barbie during his trips as a kid trying to find Sophie so he vaguely understands the importance of the movie. He respects it even though he didn’t relate to it. He pretends he understands the confusing human jokes despite the fact he doesn’t get it at all.

Biana: She totally fell in love with all the different fashions and tried to recreate some of the outfits afterwards. She found the human interpretation of mermaids hilarious when she saw mermaid Barbie. She was shocked by the treatment of women in the real world and had to ask her mom about it later.

Dex: He was forced to take the triplets with him so he spent most of the movie trying to get the three of them to stay in their seats. His favorite character was Allan and he broke into an ATM machine later so he could go buy an Allan doll. He noticed Sophie was sad after the movie so he dyed Iggy the Barbie pink color the next day to cheer her up.

Tam: He insists that he hated it and the pink gave him a headache but truthfully enjoyed the musical numbers and secretly added all the songs to his playlist. He will also put the songs on blast whenever he visits his parents to piss them off. Linh forced him to buy her a Barbie right after the movie.

Linh: She liked it and was very amused by the fake waves on the beach. She was disappointed to hear that the pooping dog Barbie toy was discontinued since she desperately wanted to buy it. She found some Barbie inspired pet outfits to force poor Princess Purrfins into later, with Tam’s reluctant help.

Marella: She loved all of it, especially the cute Kens. Dex helped her hack into the human Internet afterwards so she could read about all the drama behind the scenes. She spends an entire ability lesson with Fintan talking about it, much to Fintan’s disdain.

Wylie: He thought it was very thought provoking and Maruca teases him when he tries to analyze the deep symbolism of the movie with her. He decides to take an intensive human studies class after watching it and sees that there may be more to humans than he thought. Like many others, he cried over the idea of his mom being just a girl at some point in her life.

Maruca: She added a pink streak to her hair for a week afterwards. She really liked the Barbies’ blunt honesty during the Nobel Prize scenes. She later tried to make a smaller version of the pink Barbieland heart border with her Psionipath ability for fun.

Stina: She’ll tell Sophie it was a dumb human movie but genuinely enjoyed the human world scenes the most. She really related to Sasha the most.

Elwin: As the only adult who attended, he got the tickets for everyone, held seats, and made sure everyone had popcorn. His favorite character was weird Barbie and wants to start remodeling his house like hers. He joins Dex and buys as many Barbies as he can hold to take back to the Lost Cities. It was hard for him to watch as a doctor when Ruth said “Humans only have one end.”

Comment your own headcannons, I would love to see them!

[asexual-spongebob]

Wail Of The Siren - Chapter 1: The Stolen Salmon

(Originally published April 24th, 2024 on ao3 I finally decided to to cross post it here)

Notes:

(April 24th, 2024)

Hi everyone! I’ve been very excited to share this fic so here it is! I’m a sucker for merfolk, sirens, selkies etc and I noticed there wasn’t a whole lot of merfolk/siren Dib fics, so I decided to write one myself. i also included Gaz for funnzies. Not to mention MerMay is coming up. I had fun figuring out things and even doing a little research (I listened to some lemon demon songs specifically for dib, because I saw how so many people associated him with lemon demon songs so i listened to a few and they were great! I liked them! Love the vibes.) And while I haven’t seen the show for myself, I took some inspiration from Siren, based off some clips I saw on the internet. Also here’s some my hcs I’ll be using in this fic :): Dib - he/they, ftm, bi. audhd Gaz - she/her, mtf, asexual, lesbian. audhd. Zim - he/it/xe, nonbinary, bi. Tak - she/mew, transfem + catgender, asexual, lesbian Mimi - she/it, aroace. Gir - it/he, aroace. Keef - he/they, unlabeled. I have feeling these chapters will be in the 1k-3k range, maybe 4k? for longer chapters (which will probably be towards the end) I should also mention that this takes place in a fictional version of Detroit- basically if salt water beaches exist there (yeah trust me that sounds kinda stupid but then again I think I have a free pass because this is fictional-) Anyway, I had a blast writing this, hope y’all enjoy!

It was three the morning. Dib tossed and turned in his bed.

Fish… raw bloody fish. 

Dib threw his covers to the floor. 

MUST. EAT. RAW. FISH!

Dib slipped on his slippers and ran downstairs, not caring if his younger sister, Gaz heard him. 

He desperately searched the fridge for raw fish.

They dug around in the drawers, until they finally found some raw salmon in the meat drawer. 

They ripped open the packaging, and held the slimy, orange fish in their hand. They started ripping bits of meat off like a rabid dog. 

Gaz had been trying to fall asleep, but was interrupted with the sound of her sibling running loudly down stairs.

Gaz went to investigate, she quickly walked downstairs, only to see her sibling aggressively eating raw salmon. 

“Dib what the fuck?! Why are you eating raw fish?! That isn’t good for you!!!” Gaz gasped of disbelief as she glanced over Dib’s shoulder. How stupid is he ?! Gaz thought.

“I wanted to eat raw fish okay?!” Dib snapped as he chewed. He just wanted to eat his fish in peace. 

Gaz always thought her brother was kind of weird. But not so weird he’d eat raw fish.

“Dib. You’re going to get sick if you eat that!” Gaz scolded, genuinely worried about her brother. 

“I just wanted to eat fish damn it.” He said with a grunt. 

“If you wanted to eat fish so bad then you should’ve cooked it dumbass. If you get sick then don’t blame me.” Gaz grumbled, heading back upstairs.

Once Dib had finished eating their fish, they went back upstairs after washing their hands.

One week after the “Dib ate raw salmon” incident, Dib went to the beach after school. He almost never went but he thought it’d be fun.

He somehow managed to convince Gaz to come with him. 

Dib dove into the water, it felt nice and cool, it was refreshing, until his legs began to feel weird that is. He felt a sharp, agonizing pain in his legs. It was as if they were fusing together.

Dib looked down at his hands in horror. They were weird, green and scaly . And webbed to. 

Like that of an otter’s paws with the addition of fish scales. 

Dib let out a screech of horror. 

What is happening to me?! Dib asked himself. 

Wait. The lab. 

Two weeks earlier 

Dib was lurking in their father’s personal lab in the basement, they were looking at chemicals. “Dib. Why are you in here?! You’re gonna get caught!” Gaz said as she glanced over her sibling’s shoulder. 

“Oh yeah? Then why are you in here?! Do you want to get caught to?!” Dib shot back, turning to face his sister. 

“I went looking for you dumbass. I noticed that you were gone. I’m sorry for being worried about my brother!” She snapped. 

Dib dropped the glass vile he was holding on the floor. 

It shattered into little pieces. 

The chemical had spilt on the two of them!

Dib had a frantic expression on his face.

“Oh my god! I am so sorry!” He said. 

Gaz let out a sigh. “Damn it Dib.” She remarked, then leaving the room to wash off the chemical.

Ah shit. It was the chemical!!!!!  Dib realized. 

Dib swam to the shore. 

“GAZ!! GAZ!!!!” He shouted frantically, “what?!” Gaz questioned with annoyance.

Gaz wandered closer.

She flinched. What the fuck happened to Dib?! Why did he have weird webbed hands and  a weird scaly tail?!

“What the fuck happened?!” She gasped, a expression of horror on her face. 

“I-I think it was that chemical from dad’s lab I had spilt on us….” Dib frowned. 

“Ah shit! Does this means I’m a fish freak too?!” Gaz spat “probably!” Dib replied, Gaz stepped into the water.

She felt a sharp pain in her legs. It was like they were fusing together. 

She flopped onto her back. She noticed she had the same weird scaly hands and tail as Dib, but instead of green they were purple.

“Damn it Dib.” Gaz sighed. How could her day get any better.

Keef sat in his boat. 

He was fishing, he was planning on bringing some home to cook.

They had placed a large salmon in the bucket, they then began to fish again, they’d caught a tuna. 

Keef turned around to place the tuna  in the bucket, but something made a him flinch. 

A strange, scaly looking hand reached in and snatched the fish right out of the bucket. 

Keef let out a gasp of horror. He began to shiver.

Keef wandered closer to get a better look, but all he saw was bubbles and a strange fish like creature swim away.

What was that?!

Keef ran down the hall, shouting Zim’s name.

Ever since the florpus hole incident, Zim and Gir decided to stay on Earth, considering they didn’t have another choice. So Zim started to hang out with Keef again out of boredom.

“What?!” Zim said, annoyed. 

“You’re not gonna believe what I saw!!” Keef said.

“What did you see?” Zim asked. 

“It was a weird creature! It had this scaly hand and it stole my fish!” Keef explained. 

“What was it?” Zim asked, now intrigued.

“I don’t know! It was webbed, strange, and scaly looking. It surely wasn’t human.” Keef began “it looked kinda of like a human and fish!” He continued.

“Are you sure you weren’t just seeing things?” Zim questioned, raising an eyebrow. 

“I’m sure. I saw it with my own eyes.” Keef replied. 

Dib was standing next to Gaz against the locker, he overheard the conversation between Zim and Keef. 

Dib felt knots form in his stomach upon overhearing it. Gaz noticed the expression on her brother’s face. 

“What’s wrong, Dib? You seem scared.” Gaz expressed. 

“They saw me Gaz… I feel bad too.. I had no idea that was Keef’s fish. All I saw was a bucket handle and all I heard was the sound of a fish being thrown in it.” Dib admitted with a frown, slumping his shoulders.

“Dib you’re such an idiot! You have to be more careful! You could’ve been caught!” Gaz scolded. “You shouldn’t be stealing fish off fishermen’s boats! You should catch it on your own. That’s what I do.” Gaz adds, face palming at her brother’s stupidity.

“Thanks. I’ll remember that next time.” Dib replied, then walking to class. 

Dib stared at the clock, hoping the day would soon be over so he could go home. 

After many hours of skool later, Dib was ready to get out of there, excited for the three weekend. They ran as fast as their legs could carry them. 

Dib walked beside their sister on the way home, they offered her their hand, and received an angry remark in response. 

“I’m not a baby anymore Dib. I don’t need to hold my brother’s hand.” Gaz spat, “oh um.. okay…” Dib frowned, he should’ve been used to his  sister’s coldness by now, but it still hurt. 

Once the two arrived home, they both went upstairs to their rooms, knowing their dad wouldn’t be home in some hours. 

Dib was dancing to Lemon Demon in his room, he was blasting it on repeat to his sister’s dismay.

“Amnesia was her name, she had beautiful eyes” Dib sang along then stopping. “Wait what?” Dib gasped, blinking several times. Usually his singing sounded absolutely horrible, but now it sounded heavenly? 

Dib had a feeling he knew what him and Gaz were now. 

Wait… are we sirens? Dib questioned, then whipping out his computer and making a quick google search.

Dib put “siren definition” in the search bar. 

“Sirens are mermaid like creatures who have heavenly singing voices, which they use to lure sailors to their deaths. In most stories they are antagonists, but in some, they’re just misunderstood.”

That was the answer. He was right.

Dib ran to his sister’s room, he then knocked on the door.

“WHAT DIB?! WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” Gaz shouted, “I wanted to show you something!” Dib insisted, Gaz opened the door with a annoyed expression on her face.

“What do you want Dib? I was trying to make a pmv.” Gaz spat, “I figured out what we are.” Dib said “what do you mean? Isn’t pretty clear that we’re fish freaks?” Gaz replied, her voice filled with annoyance.

“We’re sirens.” Dib began. “They’re these mermaid like creatures but they tend to look more scaly looking. Like us. Not to mention they’re known for their heavenly singing voices.” Dib finished.

Gaz gave Dib an annoyed look. “Okay Dib. I don’t care. Just go away. I want to be left alone.” Gaz snapped. Dib nodded and walked out of the room.

He walked back to his room and began to his homework.

“Who thought it’d be a good idea to put letters in math?!” Dib complained.

Dib was so very confused, overthinking everything. 

Dib finished his homework, not giving a shit if it was incorrect. 

Dib crawled into bed after shoving his homework into his backpack, ready for a goodnight’s sleep, pulling his moth man plushies close, saying goodnight to each and everyone of them before drifting off to sleep. 

[lazybakerart]

Your love of TRG and especially Keefe Chambers is what inspired me to start watching that show (an EXCELLENT decision!), and recently I was wondering if you've seen the movie Bottoms that came out this year? It feels like it would be in line with your interests, not least because it has one of the few other fictional characters on par with Keefe in my heart, haha.

i haven't yet!! i really want to though~ (i just saw you can rent it now so i may be watching it soon >__>!!) oh man, if there's a character on par with THEE baby keefe chambers - i can't even imagine!

[axels-corner]

Keeptober day 13 past/future and Keefitz day!!!!! For this one on the left is the past where in Unlocked it mentioned a level three midterm party so I wanted to draw a picture that might've been taken then. And then on the right I drew Fitz holding Keefe on their wedding day I was inspired by a post I saw for the color of the suits

This is the link to the post

@keeptober @xanadaus

Art tag list (if you want to be added or removed just let me know):

@loverofallthingssmart @impostertamsong @make-kotlc-gayer @my-swan-song @dragonwinnie-kotlc @an-absolute-travesty @a-lonely-tatertot @bronte-deserves-better @crazedfangirl14 @almostfullnerd @ladybloomofkotlc @katniss-elizabeth-chase @lola-legendary

[crymeariveronceagain]

Do you hate Fitz?

ah, my dear anon, I used to.

He was a symbol of everything I stood against. He was an older brother who fell in love with a girl because she chased after him, and he was jealous of his best friend. Like, as a young teeny-bopper, I thought that that was gross and rude. He didn't do much to help himself in my eyes, what with the ignored trauma, the obsession with cognate training, the pushing his girlfriend to do things she didn't really want to, the anger issues, and the fact that he broke up with her for something she couldn't control. Those aren't great qualities.

It was easy enough to see him not as a conglomeration of many qualities, but simply as the ones I disliked.

And then I got to thinking.

Keefe is also really flawed. Sophie is also really flawed. Every character in KOTLC is a flawed character. Just because Fitz's flaws were ones that didn't work well with Sophie, or that rubbed me the wrong way during their relationship, and what not, doesn't mean that he isn't a good character.

Fitz is a great character. And as soon as I removed him from the situation of him being simply Sophie's love interest, I liked him. He's tall, very oblivious, probably grumbles about all of his friends in an annoyed but loving way. He is kind, even though he can come off as emotionally distant, and at the core, he is a sweetheart. He clearly has some unaddressed trauma from how perfect he had to be(think Isabella Madrigal from Encanto, imho). He really and truly cares about Keefe, and Sophie, and Biana, and Tam, and Linh. The more he gets to know people the more he likes them. He doesn't judge books by their covers. He hates his brother because he trusted Alvar once, and was betrayed. He looks at his flaws and he goes, "Let's work on this," and he gives good advice. He is the perfect height to give forehead kisses. Biana loves him, even though they don't perfectly get along. They confide in each other, need each other. He's her support system at home, and she is his. He'd kick someone's butt if they insulted you, but he'd crack sarcastic jokes at you all day every day. He isn't a wonder-boy, but there are imperfections hidden under that smile. He stays awake at night assessing everything he's done wrong. He listens to his father sometimes and worries that someday that's all he will be. He has good points, bad points, merits and talents.

And that makes a pretty amazing character.

Fitz Vacker has his flaws, but he is also a huge softy, a sweetheart, and a broken boy. The world has treated him interestingly, and it has been reflected onto his character.

I noticed this, slowly, over time.

And then, inspiration struck. I saw the potential of him being the older brother/dad friend of the group, my heart exploded.

He is a perfect older brother, a perfect voice of loving exasperation in this group. He'll give you a hug but also tackle you to the ground and call you a loser.

He's a sweetheart, a loving one, and a kid who was stuck in a box for most of his life and never allowed to leave. He is a product of his circumstances just as much as Keefe Sencen is, and he's really working hard on himself all the time.

He is an amazing character, and now, whole heartedly, I can say that I love him.

I love Fitzroy Avery Vacker.

I just don't ship him with Sophie.

[bookwyrminspiration]

the story of us (taylor swift) + keefitz...... thoughts?

Ah yes, Taylor Swift has made another reappearance. It's always just a matter of time. I welcome her back with open, if slightly lost arms. But! I do have many thoughts like always!

Closer to the beginning there's this line, "'cause lately, I don't even know what page you're on," and it truly captures just how lost the two of them are in their relationship right now. They used to be this pair, this team, they were the other person's person, you know? the one they'd go to, the one they told their secrets. They were one, so tightly knit and practically reading each other's thoughts (ignore the fact that Fitz's literally can). And now, due to circumstances and their reactions, they gotten thrown apart. They're not in sync anymore and have no idea how to get back to each other. They aren't just a little off anymore, they're oceans apart and can't even see the other. It's not we're a little different now, it's "I don't know who you are anymore and I don't know if I ever did." They don't know what page the other is on, how to find each other again or what direction to go to find it again.

There's also the line from the chorus, which is "the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now." And I gotta say when I saw this one I knew I had to include it because it is so accurate to their situation and how their relationship has deteriorated over now. They started on top of the world, just the two of them. But as the story's gone they've drifted, and they didn't work things out and talk to each other when they needed to and now there's no pleasant way to deal with the consequences. There are ways to get through it, but no way where everyone comes out entirely satisfied. And part of that is the love triangle and how now one of them is going to "win" Sophie and the other will have to accept the "loss," and seeing their best friend live the life they wanted for themselves but don't get to have. And I just hope their relationship will survive it, because right now they're not making much if any effort towards repairing it. they're pretending things are okay, but they haven't addressed the root of the issue. it's going to be a tragedy where everybody looses.

Then there's this line towards the end that stands out for some reason, so I'm gonna start rambling until I am struck by inspiration as I always do. The line is, "But I liked it better when you were on my side / The battle's in your hands now / But I would lay my armor down," which I think captures the regret and nostalgia the two of them have for what they used to be. They didn't want to loose each other, not the way they currently are. They didn't want to be fighting and keeping secrets and being jealous. They don't like where they stand with each other, but don't know how to proceed. They want to go back to what they used to be, when they were friends, when they were a team. When it was the two of them, the weird outcasts, against the world. And I think they're both waiting for the other to make the move to start fixing things. Keefe is waiting for Fitz to reach out to him and Fitz is waiting for Keefe to take that step towards him. Because it has so much potential to hurt, and they don't want to be the one hurting. They don't want to be the one to make themselves vulnerable and risk that pain and humiliation. So they're waiting for the other to make the move and in the process they're making no progress and nothing is happening. They both want to go back to what they used to be but neither of them is willing to be the first to do something, at least not right now.

There's a lot in the song that's similar to the portrayal of their relationship in the series!! I'm curious/nervous to see what Shannon decides is best for them. Because I desperately want things to work out between the two of them and for them to start reforging a healthy bond, but I also...don't know if the characters will be ready for that in the next too books. And I value staying accurate to the character more, so.

Either way, I love the topic so thank you for the song suggestion!!

[uni-seahorse-572]

Okay okay okay hear me out this is probably way too far into conspiracy theory territory and also probably won't make any sense.

So I was trying to write, working on the mtg chunklet that's looking pretty nice so far it's only a teensy bit longer than i was expecting and i haven't even begun the actual game but anyway i have the disasters drooling over jace and i was thinking sbout how similar jace and fitz are since you know they're both hot and they're both telepaths do you really need anything else. No. The answer is no.

This led me to a throwaway consoiracy theory in the context of the chapter that fitz running around the forbidden cities inspired jace!s creation for no good reason at all other than it'd be funny so i went and googled trying to find jace's first appearance on a card. He might be in some other non-card thing before this but idrc.

It turns out it was approx. 2011. He wasn't a planeswalker yet but his name was mentioned which i think is good enough and it could work with the timeline of book 1 taking place in 2012 as is generally accepted.

And then i saw the artist.

Jason Chan drew the art for the first appearance of Jace on a card. And I am almost certain it's the same Jason Chan that illustrates the kotlc covers nowadays.

I'm not sure what all of this means i just know i'm going to be screaming for many hours

This isn’t going to be as long as I’d like to reply with because I’m typing it out on my phone but let me just say I’m screaming with you????

For one it’s such an enjoyable concept that Fitz may have inspired some very random stuff during his time in the Forbidden Cities and the sheer chaos energy of that is wonderful. Also if Fitz literally inspired Jace it’s very funny to me that he’s either drooling over him or watching his partners do so all told. Imagine Keefe’s reaction to the fact that he is technically dating real life hot mtg guy (actually wait now I’m picturing him telling Fitz there’s just something special about Jace and Fitz spluttering in reply). generally though everything about that idea is hilarious to me so thank you very much for sharing

And the Jason Chan thing is a remarkable coincidence??? what are the chances ya know. Especially if that’s the Fitz like card and everything so this is a very cool series of connections

[gay-otlc]

Keepers Of The Chaos (3)

Summary: Tam, Linh, Dex, Keefe, Biana, and Fitz are part of the tiny fandom for Keeper of the Chaos, and Tam and Linh’s podcast convinces some of their other friends to watch it as well. The group finds themselves strangely invested in this show, where students at Tumblr High School who work together to write about an elf named Sophia, cause incomprehensible chaos, and fight their rival Pinterest High School.

Content warnings: Cursing, religion (Jewish Vackers), and Amsterdam (just in case, I know that was stressful for some people).

Word count: 1621

Notes: Most of the episodes are just events stolen from Lynn's roundup, Dex's memes are here

(Read on AO3)

The life of an amateur meme maker on dumbles dot com was a strange one, that was for sure. After finishing xyr favorite show- Ze-Ra: Monaerchs of Powhir- for the third time, Dex had searched for another show to fill the void in xyr soul. Biana recommended this show called "Keepers of the Chaos" and described it to xem. Xe was doubtful at first, but after watching the first episode, xe was hooked.

Xe used to not have many friends at xyr school, so xe did what every neurodivergent queer teen would do- made an account on dumbles dot com. People seemed to like xem- or at least, they liked dizznee-plus's memes and edits of Ze-Ra characters. Even after Dex befriended xyr squish, Fitz, thons sister, Biana, and aer girlfriend, Sophie, xe continued making content on dumbles. Around that time, the Ze-Ra fandom started dying off, and xyr memes started getting fewer note

In a sudden, two am burst of inspiration, Dex made edits of some of xyr favorite characters, like Ref, Akki, and Rose, with their respective pride flags (all of them bi) over them, and captioned it "we must be gay." The post blew up, or at least, what could be considered blowing up in Keeper of the Chaos's tiny fandom, and that was how Dex found xyr calling as an amateur meme/edit maker for KOTC.

History had been repeating itself, with the KOTC fandom starting to die off, until it was revived by an announcement from creator Saturn Nolastname- a season two would be released soon. Frantically, Dex made a meme about season one episode two, with the car salesman meme. Xe edited "chaos keepers" onto the car salesman, "the rarelynoticed" on the car, and "this bad boy can fit so many stripper outfits into it."

That had been... an interesting episode, to say the least. The chaos keepers had been talking about the antagonists of "Sophie and the Dark Duck"- a rebel group called the Rarelynoticed. In the information packet they'd been given, it was confirmed that the Rarelynoticed wore black cloaks and armbands, but no other clothes had been mentioned. Somehow, the chaos keepers came to the conclusion that the Rarelynoticed really wore neon pink leotards and green stripper heels, then drew this idea.

Needless to say, the Tumblr staff did not let them write that into the book. Nor did Lynn, the unofficially chosen leader of the group. Unfortunately for her, this didn't stop the chaos keepers from drawing more of these- or the fandom from making a ton of memes. In addition to the car salesman meme, a post with Drake saying no to "wearing normal fucking villain outfits" and yes to "leotards and stripper heels" gained popularity within the small fandom.

Though nothing could match the absolute shock of seeing the Rarelynoticed stripper outfit for the first time, Dex decided to rewatch the episode anyway- it was funny to see the chaos keepers freak out, and maybe xe could get some good screen captures. The good Saturn Nolastname indulged xem, and xe captured an excellent scene of most of the chaos keepers either laughing or screaming at the Rarelynoticed stripper outfits, with Kimber- one of xyr favorites- sitting on the side, explaining to Juno and Kaitee why Bianca Cracker was bisexual.

Xe went over to dumbles, posted the picture, added an image description, and captioned it "Live photo of me not caring when my friends talk about sex/romance." Xe chuckled to xemself- this really was how it felt to be aroace. Xe tagged it as aromantic and asexual as well, since dumbles added flag colors. Smiling, xe went to go check xyr notifications.

Xyr jaw dropped when xe saw that @lordofthesnuggles- Fitzroy (Dex didn't know thons middle name) Vacker thonself had liked and reblogged all three of xyr memes, even adding compliments in the tags! Xe'd had a bit of a platonic crush on Fitz for... a really long time, but xe always felt too awkward to talk to thon, so it was nice to see that thon appreciated xyr humor.

Feeling energized- and excited to procrastinate on xyr math homework- Dex went to watch the next episode: Dark Duck Is Jewish Now. Being Jewish xemself, this was a really funny episode to xem.

Lynn had been writing a sort of spinoff- it would be called fanfiction, but it was for her own story- about some of the Dark Duck characters celebrating Christmas, and added a throwaway line about Bianca and Finn Cracker celebrating Hanukkah. Then, her fiance, Shai, had taken that idea and run with it, writing a list of ideas about what would happen if the Cracker family was Jewish. Hir friend Sam had jumped on the idea, and soon they had abandoned writing the actual Dark Duck in favor of writing a story about Jewish Dark Duck characters. Some of the other Jewish chaos keepers, like Ref and Cat, helped out.

To be honest, it kind of surprised Dex that no one had made a joke about the Jewish Crackers just being matzah, so xe supposed xe would have to be the first.

Xe posted that observation, quickly getting a like from Fitz- which made xem smile. After a few minutes, Dex posted another meme: Shai and Sam standing in front of a door with a sign that read "elves don't have religion," and them saying "This sign won't stop me, because I can't read!"

It was accurate.

While that episode was great for Jewish representation, and funny, the Banana Noir episode was just plain weird.

It focused less on the Dark Duck than most of the other episodes, and was more about the crazy interactions of the chaos keepers. The episode was named for Banana Noir, who was really Cat Noir, but in a banana suit. Banana Noir was the son of Mellie, who looked like a shark, and Nora, who had platonically married faer. The mothers tried to arrange a marriage between him and Akki, who loved the side characters of the Dark Duck series. However, Akki wanted to marry Amelia. After a lot of shit that basically no one understood, Banana Noir's attempts were thwarted, and Lynn officiated the wedding between Akki and Amelia.

Yeah, Dex had no idea what the fuck was going on either. Xe'd watched an episode of Twins of the Chaos and a youtube video by arsonpog analyzing the Banana Noir chronicles, as it had been dubbed by the chaos keepers, and both expert opinions seemed to agree that Saturn Nolastname and the rest of the writers had probably been on crack when they made that episode.

The next episode made slightly more sense, though it was a low bar. After taking a break from the "official" Dark Duck story, the chaos keepers began collectively writing a Cinderella story about the characters Sophia and Bianca. People weren't allowed to be queer in the official story, but the chaos keepers still wanted to have fun with their obviously gay characters.

Even to the viewers of the show, who only received secondhand information about the Dark Duck characters, knew there was no way any of them, let alone all of them, were allocishet. The exact identities weren't entirely clear- when Dex had made edits of the characters' official art and xyr headcanons for their pride flags, a few people had disagreed- but both the chaos keepers and the fandom knew that despite what Shannon said, Sophia and Bianca were in love, and their Cinderella story should have made it in to the official Dark Duck story.

While excerpts of the Cinderella story were quoted in the show, most of it was left unclear, so Biana had taken it upon aerself to write aer own version of it. Dex was expecting an update later  that day, actually, or maybe the next. Ae wasn't always 100% reliable with aer update schedule. Still, Dex looked forward to when it eventually did come.

After the brief calmness from the Sophianca Cinderella episode, season one episode six, Amsterdam, exploded back into chaos. A few of the chaos keepers decided to discuss a fake scene in the book in which crazy shit went down, with the scene supposedly being located in Amsterdam. It had never been written and was never going to be, but everyone discussed it like it was real. Some of the highlights involved all the Dark Duck girls having swords (and the chaos keepers being gay for them), and a speedboat chase scene through the canals. Fitz had a popular theory that the chaos keepers would actually travel to Amsterdam in order to commemorate this crazy part of their lives. Almost as popular as that was a meme Dex made, with a man labeled "chaos keepers discussing amsterdam" and gesturing feverishly to a wall covered in papers and red string.

Of course, episode seven (Dark Duck Disney) was chaotic too. Everything was chaotic with this group, it was in the title. Shannon announced that the winning Dark Duck story would be adapted into a Disney movie. After past experience with terrible book to movie adaptations, the chaos keepers panicked. They panicked so much that it became major news within their school, which until then, had been largely ignoring the chaos keepers. Once the discussion about the movie settled down, they talked a lot about how in awe they were that their Dark Duck shenanigans were trending within the school.

But of course, none of that compared to the last episode of the season...

Dex changed xyr profile picture to include an ominous pair of teal eyes and sighed.

[song-tam]

sobs and snuggles — fitz vacker x keefe sencen

Summary: Lots of Fitzy angst, though it becomes kinda fluffy at the end because just like Keefitz.

A/N: Okay this is my first oneshot (on tumblr at least) but there will definitely be more to come when I get around to it. This was based off of a mini headcanon that @sunset-telepath inspired and @stardustanddaffodils added onto. 

Warnings: this got pretty angsty. also, alden’s kind of an arse in this.

Taglist (I’m just tagging random friends for now): @psychopathicqueenly @dreaminq-out-loud @howyoulikethat237 @sunset-telepath @sencenforever180 @the-sky-isnt-blueee @totalkeefitztrash 

Fitz and his emotions seemed to be at war lately. 

No, not lately. It was just more clear that Fitz and his feelings were fighting now, but they’d always been battling.

“Why do I have to go into the Forbidden Cities, Dad?” Twelve-year-old Fitz had asked. “What if I get in trouble, it’s dangerous, I-”

“Fitz.” Alden said, stone-faced. “You are going to the Forbidden Cities. You are going to look for this girl and you are going to bring her here when you find her, and until that happens, you’re just going to keep going back.”

Fitz had shook his head. “But I don’t want to go. I’d rather stay home. I want to be... normal for once. Maybe play base quest with Keefe and Biana-”

“But you aren’t normal, Fitz. You are a Vacker, you have a legacy to uphold, and finding her is more important than playing base quest.” Alden had insisted, his face smiling but an icy edge to his words. 

Fitz’d gulped, nodding his head yes, all right, he would do it, when all he really wanted to do was cry. He didn’t even understand why his eyes were turning glassy, why there was a lump in his throat. After all, his father had asked one simple thing of him.

He’d obey. He did what he was expected to, looking for the elf among humans all while making time for his few friends and staying at the top of his class and doing everything else he, the perfect Vacker boy, was supposed to do.

Fitz leaned back against the bathroom wall, tears streaming down his face, holding Mr. Snuggles in his arms. “I’m so tired,” he whispered to no one. “Tired of trying so hard all the time to be perfect, tired of not being able to mess up, tired, just so tired.”

He thought about how perfect he had to be, how he had to wear his carefully created mask everyday, how by trying to be there for the people he loved he was stepped on.

Wonderboy. Dex had given him that nickname. Fitz wasn’t too sure what to make of it. That meant he was keeping up the perfect image, the mask he needed to wear. It was important that everyone saw him that way—at least that was what Alden had implied—but Fitz wondered what it would be like if he could mess up. Make mistakes and not have everybody gossiping about them, judging him and his family, wondering whether he was worthy of being a Vacker or not.

He wondered what it would be like to be normal.

But he, Fitzroy Avery Vacker, was never, ever getting that chance.

A new sob escaped him with this realization, even more coming after the first. Fitz tried to be as quiet as possible; he didn’t want Alden or Della or Biana hearing him and then coming and finding him bawling in his bathroom.

His shoulders shook and fury rose up inside Fitz. He was angry at his father for shoving all this pressure on him, angry at himself for not being able to deal with the pressure, angry at his entire lineage for creating such an impossible legacy to live up to, just angry at the entire world. 

Fitz hurled Mr. Snuggles against the opposite wall, along with a few other miscellaneous things from his bathroom vanity. He looked around for more things to throw, but his anger started to fade back into sadness and he curled up into a ball again, tears falling.

Hiccuping, Fitz reached for Mr. Snuggles again and rummaged around for something to blow his nose on. Glancing at himself in the mirror, he winced. His eyes were rimmed red and it couldn’t have been more obvious that he had been crying.

“Crap,” he muttered. “I can’t let Mom or Biana see me like this, they’ll ask too many questions.” Questions I don’t particularly want to answer. Questions I don’t have an answer to. 

“Fitz!” Fitz stiffened, recognizing that voice immediately. If there was anyone would press harder than his mom and sister—and actually get real answers—it was Keefe Sencen.

“Dude, where are you? I have something to show you,” Keefe’s voice grew louder and there were footsteps; he was coming up the stairs. Fitz splashed water on his face and rubbed his eyes as hard as could, trying to erase as much of the evidence that he’d been crying before—

“Fitz?” The bathroom door stood slightly ajar, and Keefe stood in the doorway, a hesitant expression on his face. Keefe’s eyes stared into Fitz’s with such intensity and concern that he felt a red flush creeping up his neck. 

“What happened?” Keefe said softly, worry laced into his words. “Are you all right, how can I help?”

Fitz shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I’m okay, it’s nothing to concern yourself with.”

“Looks to me like it’s definitely something I should concern myself with.” Keefe took a few hesitant steps towards Fitz, setting something down on the vanity. Fitz didn’t get a good look at because the next thing he knew, Keefe’s arms were around him and he started crying again, burying his face in Keefe’s shoulder.

Keefe’s arms around him tightened, and he sobbed harder. “You don’t have to explain,” Keefe whispered softly. “I get it. You don’t owe anyone, least of all me, an explanation.”

“Thank you,” Fitz mumbled into Keefe’s shirt.

“Don’t,” the blond boy replied automatically. “You don’t need to thank me. You’re my friend, and I... I care about you.”

“Well, you’re a good friend.”

Keefe laughed quietly. “You’re a better one.”

“I’m glad you’re my best friend.” Even if I wish you were more. Even if I wish you were holding me as my boyfriend and not as just a friend.

He’d settle for this, though, for now. What Fitz wanted wasn’t necessarily what he needed, and he was glad his sobs were countered and comforted by Keefe’s snuggles.

[onestowatch]

Rising Hip-Hop Meets Trap Artist Isaacjacuzzi Releases the Atmospheric Till It's Over [Q&A]

Isaacjacuzzi is an innovative artist dripping with style and swagger. Unleashing his latest 14-track offering Till It's Over, produced by mega hip-hop producer Royce David (Lil Mosey), the artist seamlessly melds a myriad of genres, from reggae and hip-hop, to trap and R&B, creating a diverse and atmospheric mixtape that has it all.

Oozing with sun-soaked feels, the album features tracks such as “Never Lie” and “Gucci Steppin”, showcasing ambient hip-hop vibes and touching on themes such as money, girls and substance abuse. Delivering a modern day, relatable anthem for twenty-somethings, the artist gives an honest look into the life of a young, Seattle-based rapper.  

“Ooh Lord” exudes an upbeat reggae feel, demonstrating his ability to blend his effortless, relaxed energy with feel-good party anthems. Isaacjacuzzi is more than just a gifted singer, with the new release highlighting his talents as a producer, rapper and songwriter. Proficient in all areas, he takes artistic control, allowing his music to follow its true direction while simultaneously paying homage to his West Indian roots.

With an ever-growing fan base cultivated through his tireless devotion and intoxicating music, Isaacjacuzzi is quickly becoming a force to be reckoned with, leading the movement in the Northwest hip-hop scene. Ones To Watch had the pleasure of speaking with Isaacjacuzzi discussing the meaning behind his name, collaborations and the masterpiece that is Till It’s Over.

Ones To Watch: First off, your artist name is so unique. What is the inspiration behind the name Isaacjacuzzi? 

Isaacjacuzzi: Isaac is my name giving to me by my mother and the rastas, jacuzzi relates to my energy I be chillin, and shordy always says my voice sounds like water ♨️👆🏾

Your latest album Till It's Over, was produced by prolific hip hop producer Royce David (Lil Mosey). How did the two of you connect and what was your experience like working with such a prominent figure in the industry?

Royce David was one of the first people to believe in me. He took me in and helped me develop as an artist and has a good friend. Our experience working together is always a vibe and positive energy.  

Your music seamlessly fuses trap, hip hop and reggae. What first drew you to these genres?

I grew up in a reggae household and learned a lot about reggae and the Rastafarian belief system from my OG’s. When I got into high school I started to learn more about hip hop and trap. The youthfulness of playboi Carti and Chief Keef motivated my Hustle early on. When I met Royce, we fused these worlds together.  

I understand you come from a West Indian Family, how has your heritage influenced your music?

My parents first met in a reggae band that practiced at my grandma's house. From early on I saw them take stage and it motivated me to do the same. The Rastafarian culture is big on moving forward and staying in a positive light. I carry these themes throughout my music and throughout my life.  

What are some common themes that run through the release and what was your creative process when writing the songs for the album?  

I keep it real throughout my music, my album is a rollercoaster of vibes. From my darkest days to my best, ima keep giving the people what they need.  

Your mesmerizing track “Gucci Steppin” features rapper Lil Keed. Can you tell me more about that collaboration?

Royce and I ran into Lil Keed in Vegas for a fashion show. He showed us love and pulled up to the studio that night. Real recognize Real.  

The infectious “Ooh Lord” is an upbeat danceable summer anthem. I know with quarantine, beaches, clubs and many restaurants are closed. How are you keeping yourself entertained and creating fun summer vibes?

With all the closers the suns still shining on jacuzzi. Ima do my part in standing up for what’s right and keeping the summer vibes going. Through music we the world can heal.  

In addition to rapping and singing, you also are a producer and songwriter as well. How did you become interested in pursuing so many facets of the music industry? 

Once you dive into the studio life you wanna be aware of every aspect. From the drums to the lyrics I create awareness with my tracks and slide with the water melodies.

What’s the next step for Isaacjacuzzi? 

The next step for Isaacjacuzzi is to keep motivating the youth and help my family. From the dirt road to the shows on the road. I’ma keep putting on for mines.

Lastly, who are your Ones To Watch?

Watch out for all the hustlers in Seattle. Just like the waves created in places like Atlanta, New York, and LA. Seattle’s coming with a new wave to heat up the scene.

[theunmappedstar]

Oh boi your kiss thing ! I’d like to request 17 with Kam, and they end up really together at the end ? That would be amazing !

Title: Do or Die

Rating: T for strong language

Prompt: Kam 17 - ‘Needing to kiss to hide from the bad guys.‘

a/n: a couple of things before we start and i give my thanks!

one: legacy hasn’t come out yet, but i’m already taking inspiration from it and setting this in london. two: i listened to darkside by alan walker while writing this, and i think it fits these two pretty well!three: i couldn’t fit in them being fully ‘together’ at the end, and i’m sorry!

nonetheless, i hope you enjoy it! thank you so much for requesting, because i had so much fun writing it!

◦ ◦ ◦ ◦

The Neverseen were a never-ending problem. A wound that grew continually and festered.

Yet, to say Keefe was surprised when he heard they’d been spotted mingling in a Forbidden City was a major understatement. Especially so when he heard that they’d be going there to investigate it.

After scrambling feeds and going over a quick list of rules (don’t touch this, don’t mess with that, report back anything suspicious immediately, and keep in contact at all times, to name a few) they’d light-leaped to the tiny city.

He watched Foster’s silhouette disappear around a corner with Dex, before he and Tam started meandering around. Keefe kept observing the street lamps and simple buildings, loving the enamel decorations a few had on the outside. It was so beautifully decorated with cobblestone streets and hand-carved wooden signs outside of shops that Keefe couldn’t stop staring. He could paint about this, he decided. There was so much to soak in, that he was sure he’d never be able to do the tiny town justice, though.

Keefe rammed into Tam’s back suddenly. The boy had stopped.

“Hey,” Keefe called, tapping his shoulder. “Bangs Boy, you goo–”

Tam pointed into a shop that was still open. It was so early in the morning that half the shops were closed or vacant, but there was one on the end with light sifting out through the windows. Keefe followed Tam’s finger to it, looking as a shadow passed across the cobblestone street over the light coming from inside the shop.

A formless silhouette. A blob of darkness.

Someone wearing a cloak.

“Let’s go,” Keefe decided, grabbing Tam’s hand before he could protest. He dragged him forward, ignoring his persistent tugging and cursing as he begged Keefe to allow him time to warn the others before they barged in.

They slowed when they reached the shop on the corner, slinking past the windows and melting into the darkness against the oak doors. Breathing heavily, Keefe met Tam’s eyes with a lazy smirk.

“Ready?” he whispered.

“You’re going to get us killed.”

“You say that every time.”

His smirk dissolved when they heard shuffling inside. They waited until the sound had faded for Tam to peek his head around the corner and peer into the shop.

His dark eyebrows furrowed and for a moment that had Keefe wincing, expecting the worse, but Tam straightened and returned next to Keefe, shrugging. “No one’s in there,” he whispered.

“What?”

“I know. I don’t see anybody.” Silence settled between them until Tam added, “Maybe they’re in one of the backrooms.”

Keefe looked him up and down leisurely. “Only one way to find out,” he suggested, gripping the golden handle. His voice was playful, but his eyes were serious.

Tam nodded, unsure at first, but then with conviction. Determination fizzled in his silver eyes. “Okay.”

Keefe blew out a breath, dipping his chin. he hesitated a fraction of a second before whipping the door open, swiftly striding inside with Tam behind. They went to back-to-back on instinct, swirling around, checking to see if there was anyone hiding in the corners.

Their shoulders relaxed. “Where are they?”

Keefe pursed his lips, eyebrows pressing together in confusion. “I don’t know.” His eyes drifted over to the aisles of shelves stocked with books. Keefe gestured to it subtly with his chin and Tam bobbed his head in agreement, again.

They slunk towards the wooden shelves, and though Keefe knew it was a horrible time, his eyes caught sight of the detailed carvings done into the sides of them. They were elaborate, each one telling a story like a tapestry. Little people dining, fawns frolicking together, children laughing.

Tam peeked his head cautiously into the first aisle, motioning for Keefe to follow when it was empty. They kept going down the line, glancing down the following aisle to ensure that it was empty before proceeding. The further they went, the closer they drew to the end, the more Keefe’s chest tightened.

Yet, when they reached the end, there was no sign of anyone. Not even any disturbances.

Tam hummed softly, turning around and looking to the doorway again, where they had started. His sleek, elegant brows had crunched together.

“Where did they go?” His voice was barely a whisper. More of a breath, and it took Keefe a couple of seconds to actually discern what he had said. The blond boy eventually shrugged his shoulders in response.

In an instant, Tam caught sight of a hooded figure rounding a nearby corner in the shop. Another followed in tow, starting to approach fast.

Sure enough, they must have been waiting in the backroom.

He sucked in air between his teeth, grabbing Keefe’s shirt in his fists. He harshly tugged him into an aisle, behind the shelves, shoving his back sharply into the wood. Keefe made a sound of dissatisfaction, opening his mouth to chew Tam out for it, when the blond noticed how wide Tam’s eyes were. And they were blazing with urgency.

“Kiss me,” Tam ordered in a harsh whisper.

“What?”

“Don’t act so appalled, just–!” He cursed under his breath, snatching Keefe by the collar. Before Keefe could comprehend what was happening, he was pulled forward and Tam’s mouth crashed over his own.

Keefe squeaked at the contact, icy eyes wide and bulging.

Tam moved his mouth against his, sliding his hands down to grab Keefe’s waist to ensure their bodies pressed flush against one another. They were plastered together and Keefe knew Tam could probably feel Keefe’s erratic heartbeat by the way his mood shifted to some sort of soft surprise.

Tam tilted his head, giving more access and room to the both of them, mouths sliding together better. Keefe’s eyes were droopy and he lifted his hands, pulling up Tam’s hood to obscure his hair and their faces better. His hands ended up resting on Tam’s cheeks - just to block their faces more, he told himself.

Keefe screwed his eyes shut as the Neverseen members came around the corner, not wanting to see how it was going to play out. If he ended up getting shot then and there, so be it. This was the nicest way to go.

He was suddenly very glad that they had worn human clothing, as their elvin clothes would have been an immediate dead-giveaway. Still, he shrunk under the feel of the burning stares, holding Tam close by his face.

They weren’t leaving. They were standing there. Staring.

Keefe’s heart thumped wildly in his chest as Tam gruffly became aware of that, too, anxiety coursing through him. He shifted quickly, too quickly for Keefe to process, and sunk his teeth into the blond’s lower lip. It caused a gasp to erupt from Keefe, followed by him sinking into it and furrowing his eyebrows. A throaty groan escaped, which was swallowed by Tam pressing their lips together again.

Keefe wanted to ask why - not that he hadn’t enjoyed it. He had. A lot. - but then he heard someone awkwardly clear their throat before footsteps padded away slowly. That had been all they’d needed, apparently.

When the door slammed shut behind two elves leaving the scene, Tam broke the kiss with a crude pop. Breathing heavily, they locked gazes for a brief moment before Tam stepped back. Keefe was more than dissapointed to feel the boy’s warmth seep away from his body.

“Shit,” he muttered, voice cracking. It was still hoarse from the intensity of the kiss.

Tam’s chest was heaving, eyes darting all over the store as he searched to make sure they were really gone. When he saw that they were definitely alone, he slumped back against the shelf behind him. He brushed the bangs off his forehead briefly, just for them to swish back into place. “Shit is right.”

“No,” Keefe clarified, reaching up to brush a thumb over his mouth. His lips were still tingling with electricity, buzzing and reeling from the way Tam’s mouth had molded with his own. “That kiss.”

Tam blinked. His alabaster cheeks painted over with pastel pink. “What about it?”

“That was… Intense,” Keefe admitted.

Such a dull word to describe it. He felt like he was spinning.

There were a few beats of silence before Tam asked, “Is that… bad?”

Keefe had the audacity to laugh, running a hand through his hair. Their eyes met again, faces flushing full of heat in sync. “Nah,” he said, hushed. “I don’t think so.”

[thesinglesjukebox]

LIL UZI VERT - FREE UZI

[6.29]

Please do not contact us about the free Uzi...

Taylor Alatorre: "Free Uzi": is that a command or a description? The pitched-up vocals may be his cheeky protest against an allegedly stingy contract, but they also make him sound younger and less established, an effect heightened by the use of a 2012 drill instrumental from a then 16-year-old G Herbo. It's not only label restrictions from which he's freed himself, but the mercurial demands of hip-hop trendiness; this is a space where he can imitate mixtape-era Lil Wayne to his heart's content. Beyond the superficial thrill of hearing an unrestrained Uzi go to battle with the very concept of dead air, there aren't any lyrical corkscrews of Weezy caliber, and the verbal parkour preempts his usual talent for melodic phrasing. This is a statement record that says very little other than "Uzi is still out here," which, all told, is still worth a listen. [5]

Julian Axelrod: The first time I heard this, in the woozy hours of the evening when its streaming futures were uncertain, the progressively pitched-up vocals made me think it was fake. Maybe the choice was a sly legal maneuver to sidestep Atlantic's legal team, but it's also the perfect garnish for Uzi's motormouthed cartoon cadence. It feels like he's been trapped in a cave for 30 years writing punchlines about getting head, only to burst free and rap so fast he transcends dimensions. (Shouts to G Herbo, whose original flow is more earthbound but no less urgent.) It's honestly wild that rappers are still subject to label drama and "delayed" projects; it feels so 2004. But watching bitter MCs work through label frustrations by turning a throwaway mixtape beat to mincemeat will never get old. [7]

Maxwell Cavaseno: Many will properly observe that "Free Uzi" relies on DJ L's beat for the older song by G Herbo (then Lil' Herb) "Gangway." Few besides that will observe that, unlike the preceding record, "Free Uzi" features an actually competent street rapper. Yes, yes, enough talk has been made about Uzi being a "rockstar" or implying that he's actually a Fueled by Ramen kid trapped in the body of a tattooed rapper, a narrative that's thoroughly misguided and racially patronizing in ways that rarely get taken to task. But thankfully we have a record such as "Free Uzi" to dispel that. It's deliberately within the style of East Coast hard-nose rap, which remains in drill territory these days and is an influence on him via the generation that brought us Durk and Keef -- so why not revisit the classics? It's a constant battering of machine-gun flowing and bars that demonstrates his abilities to fit in with the contemporaries you never knew he was actually among. Despite his inconsistent releases in the last year or so, it's fair to say Uzi's more than equipped to fit in wherever the present requires him to. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: The good and bad of "Free Uzi" stem from its very nature -- it's a leak-that's-not-a-leak and a stab at creative revival from an artist who has seemed creatively disengaged over the last year. So, fittingly, it's both full of energy and bad ideas (shouts out to the Big Bang Theory.) It's uneven and probably should have stayed in the fault, but there's just enough promise here to remind listeners of why they wanted Uzi back in the first place. [5]

Ryo Miyauchi: Considering Lil Uzi Vert is an internet darling more for singing along to Paramore, and the fact SoundCloud rap as a genre gets attention more for how its artists take inspiration from outside of rap, it's perhaps natural that I don't really have a good grasp on what rap music Uzi listens to besides the ones made by his peers. So Uzi swiping a Chicago drill beat used by G Herbo in 2012 was quite revelatory in that he's a rapper's rapper first no matter what other interests float around his orbit. He approaches the recycled beat in a manner that recalls '00s mixtape-era Lil Wayne: a new dexterous flow, a bars-first mentality, and a very loose handle on pop structure. The chorus blends with the rest of the oversized verses, and he spits in such breakneck speed, he doesn't give enough time for the punchlines to properly digest. But his high-pitched taunting voice oozes with confidence that every chirp still feels like a punch to the ego. [6]

Iris Xie: Damn, I was actually hoping that I didn't hear the word "ejaculate" in the song, like I thought I misheard and that he said "coat check" or something, but I checked and no, he said ejaculate. But I'm actually impressed by his non-stop demeanor here, as Lil Uzi Vert sounds like the Roadrunner trying to outrun himself and everyone else coming for him, but -- whoops, he's gonna switch and run on them! His pace is the sonic equivalent of those incredibly, ridiculously fast zombies in Train to Busan. Also, there's a bracing urgency to his flow, punctuated by the trap beats that sound like sharp aluminum clinking on other metals, which provide an ace backdrop to his relentlessness. Regarding the lyrics themselves, I guess it just occurred to me now that there's a purpose to the detail of bravado and come-uppance in rap and that it's not just bluster, because it helps reinforce the messaging of the hustle presented in the music. Also, wordplay abounds -- "Wonton, flood the block with some Wock' in it/They saw I was comin' so they all just start hoppin' fence" is just one of many really nice examples of consonance and assonance. Specifically, that wonton, block, wok line is a fun callback to how both Asian and Black cultural production do influence each other quite a bit and permeate the inner dialogues of a lot of artists. But overall, there's a lot to enjoy about this song, even if I was thrown off at first. [6]

Ashley John: "Free Uzi" is the incessant buzz and stab of a tattoo needle. Uzi pummels forward so confidently you forget when the track started or if it has always been this black whir in the back of your head. Uzi's grit coupled with his muscle memory melody remind us of the hole that exists in modern rap when he's not around to fill it. [8]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[disappointingyet]

All The Beauty And The Bloodshed

Director Laura Poitras Stars Nan Goldin, Patrick Radden Keefe USA 2022 Language English, French 1hr 53mins Colour 

Great photos, tough life, effective politics

Maybe one of the reasons that title was chosen was to scupper any attempts to package this as simply an inspirational tale to be pitched at hip kids. Fearless survivor takes on Big Pharma! Radical artist remembers friends who ignored all the reactionary rules about gender and sexuality – and, almost unbelievably these people were boomers?! Etc.

Because while this documentary is a story of triumph, both of photographer Nan Goldin’s life’s work and her recent activism against the Sackler family, there’s much loss and suffering, as well as the acknowledgment that the wins are small compared to a vast societal problem.

In what’s a fairly standard doc format, we flip between the subject’s life story and the present tense of what they are up to right now. The difference is that rather than the standard reunion gig or (for an artist) retrospective show, what Goldin is doing in the recent footage is staging direct actions in big art institutions to protest all the galleries, wings, rooms and so on named after the Sackler family, the patrons who made their billions first by pioneering the aggressive selling of drugs including Valium and then by manufacturing and marketing OxyContin. 

Goldin’s special leverage is that she is an artist many of these places want to exhibit and so her presence at protests (and her negotiations over the use of her photos) has a power not shared by most activists. Both she and the other members of her group P.A.I.N. are fully aware of this and make the best use of it. 

I had two contrary thoughts during the footage of P.A.I.N.’s actions: 1) their work is so slickly and well done – especially a blizzard of prescription slips from the spiral ramps inside the Guggenheim in NYC – that it's almost a bit too good as performance art. I can imagine seeing it and almost missing the point. But I would probably be cued in because 2) protest chants seem to be an inelastic, unchanging, (necessarily) crude and grating form no matter how smart you are. 

Woven in with all this is Goldin’s life, from traumatic childhood through a tour of assorted countercultures of the 1970s and ’80s, including a couple of drag scenes, the John Waters crowd, lesbian separatists, several different wings of arty and street-political New York at the turn of the decade and then AIDS activism. What Goldin makes clear is that while it might be easy (convenient?) to imagine that all these people saw each other as natural allies against the heteronormative patriarchy, that’s not how it worked, and she seems to have been a relatively rare figure who drifted through all these different scenes (not without friction). 

My conclusion – as often with the more accurate stories of the great cultural moments – is that much as it looks cool in the pics, it would have been horrible and uncomfortable and dangerous to have actually been there.

For the biographical chunks of the film, we’re very much getting Goldin’s version of things – there are only a couple of fairly brief contributions from other people. I think the only talking head here to put her work into context is Darryl Pinckney. (The P.A.I.N. stuff is more collectively told.)

What we do get, though, is the work – not just individual photographs illustrating the narrative, but extracts from the slideshows set to music that are Goldin’s trademark, the most famous being The Ballad Of Sexual Dependency. These are a massive asset for this documentary, as are all Goldin’s photos and film, lending it her extraordinary eye. Usefully, there’s also footage of Goldin acting in underground movies made by Vivienne Dick and Bette Gordon. 

If there’s anything that makes this an exceptional documentary, it is Goldin’s work. But you can see that without seeing this film. As often, it comes down to expectations – All The Beauty And The Bloodshed won the Golden Lion (the top award) at the Venice Film Festival*, which doesn’t normally go to non-fictional films. And, as you may have gathered, I think Goldin is an extraordinary capturer and maker of images. So I was anticipating something extraordinary – and this is ‘merely’ very good. Still, hers is a fascinating life and this is a fine account of it, as well as an insight into an avoidable social tragedy. *To be fair, I’ve now checked recent Venice winners and they fall into two groups: films I haven’t seen and films I wasn’t that taken with.

I saw All The Beauty And The Bloodshed at the BFI London Film Festival 2022