#inspired by Safia Elhillo

[sharingcitrusfruit]

[jonathanisakov]

Who am I? ->Final Portfolio

Who am I?

Who am I?

As I get dragged by time, I often wonder who I am? And where this

unknown and confusing person is headed?

In the greater scheme of things, or at least for me, this course was a

channel through which one can better understand their identity by

learning about others who find theirs through different channels. It is

funny because this course actually gave me the understanding that

identity is so vast that I believe it is a mistake to claim that one found

their identity, as it is something that one can consistently learn more

on. One example, that this course stressed was food literacy, or

learning identity through food. Before the course I never knew about 

food literacy, and for that reason I want to dedicate my Final portfolio

to the idea of food literacy. Now what is food literacy? Food literacy,

similarly to identity does not have one simple definition. It is

something that is very personal per individual, as it has a cultural

aspect to it. Is is very complex, not only because it's personal, but

also because it's subject to change. Culture changes, people change,

and so does food…

My Lyrical essay is a work that I find especially fascinating to read

today. It has not only taught me about more myself but that the way

we see things are constantly changing without us even realizing. The

reason I know that is because if I were to write the essay again it

would be significantly different. That is because our thoughts are

constantly shedding with time and are being replaced with new ones.

For instance, I concentrated the beginning portion of the essay on

the history, but that was because I had no base, but now that I

covered that topic I have more to write about food literacy, and its

importance. Since I also read more and learned more about the topic,

I would begin with what I think about my identity rather than what I

know. In fact, that is exactly what I did when I revised my essay. To

give a better understanding of what I mean, it’s like layers. My first

draft is the first couple of layers, my second draft is layered on top of

my first, and so on. So with this logic the more I write and learn

about my identity, the more my essays will grow. For that reason I

altered and took away a bit of the historical portion of my essay and

replaced it with a literacy portion. But the reason I was inspired to

write about my essay topic in the first place was because  I was

inspired by week 8 in which I read the poem "House, Not Home" by

Laila Shikak. It really made me think about aspects about my life

such as what is home? Am I home? These questions led me to give

some deep thought and dive deep into really answering the Who am I

question. In my essay I dived deep into a time machine and talked

about my origins and gave a history to begin from.

“For My Friends, in Reply to a Question” by Safia Elhillo was a very well written work of literature that we were assigned to mimic. As I did this, I learned from her particular style and word selection and incorporated it in my later work. 

2. “Unlearning My Name” by Mohamed Hassan was a masterpiece. He broke down his name, or “unlearned it”. He made me think about my identity and was one of the motivating factors in my Lyrical essay. I had to include this because it broadened my thinking and my vision toward realizing the significance of a name. 

3. “Home but not Home” was a beautiful work of literature that depicted Laila Shikaki’s yearning to home. This not only made me question if i'm home, but also gave me a great angle to further dive into my identity .

4. FOOD LITERACY!! I was absolutely fascinated by it. I think this was my favorite part of the course. “Parts Unknown” by Anthony Bourdain was a masterpiece that gave me a deeper understanding of what food literacy means as I didn’t really understand it at first.

----------Discussion Posts

Project 1-Revised

                                               Lyrical essay

Who am I? Well give me a sec.. Have a seat and enjoy the ride… This time machine is quite comfortable…Here we goooooo>>>

I once stated "Jonathan Isakov". Jonathan Isakov's name might have misled you. My name doesn't reveal enough about me. After meeting me, you'll be even more confused than before. Russian Jews gave me my last name. Despite its Russian reputation, the Isak is Jewish and the ov ending is Soviet. I must clarify that I am Jewish but not Russian. My parents are from Uzbekistan, which is not part of Russia. Uzbekistan was a Soviet republic. Russian-born Jews are special. How is my first name? My first name is a mix of American, Soviet, and Jewish cultural customs, which is complicated. Some say it's Jewish, but I think it's a combination of names. Who am I? Bukharan Jew. Due to this, several of my professors mispronounced my name, but I was too afraid to inform them. However, since it is deceiving, I would have trouble identifying myself if I forgot my name. My Hebrew name, Yonatan, is meaningful since my great-great-grandfather gave it to me. English spells my name differently but sounds the same. Yonatan is Hebrew. My name, Jonathan, is a shortened version of Yonatan, Hebrew meaning "son of Nathan." If my name weren't given to me at birth, I would have selected it myself because I think it's a disguise. The Hebrew roots of my name encouraged me to give myself the name Yonatan as a given name. Names may reveal a person's "true" identity. Names are precious because they answer a universal query. This justifies my opinion. My identity? Your name's origin may reveal your heritage, values, and family tree.

Mmmmmm…..The smell is delicious, the eyes are happy, the mouth is drooling, and a smile takes the face of people. Food? What is it? Food Literacy is what I mean. What is it? Well that depends on the person. For me it is too vast to explain as it constantly changes. But in simple terms it stresses that food is more than just to satiate hunger as it is something that is embedded in culture and answering the: WHO AM I?

Family is very interesting because we are technically forcibly put into a certain environment that we do not choose. So it’s either a hit or miss. Personally I do not believe that my family is the perfect family, however I am thankful that it isn’t. As a kid I have been introduced to very mature conversations that involve keeping parts of my family together. This taught me to think and analyze situations pretty well. My advice is something my cousins, and siblings can rely on. Now the first response when people hear that something isn’t good is usually to try to wish or change the issue. But I do not think so, as I am thankful for the imperfections as they are what I learn from. If my family was perfect I wouldn’t learn from, I would just enjoy their presence. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy my family’s presence, I do, however I am always thinking what they could of don’t better to strengthen “us”. There is a beautiful wise saying that goes as follows: Hard times create great people, great people create easy times, and easy times create weak people. It is for that reason that I appreciate some forms of imperfection and harsh moments in my life. But something that is always in the back of my mind is am I the person that lives in the easy times. My parents send me to private school since I was in first grade, I have everything I need. So is there a way for me to come out great. It is my greatest fear to come out not. 

So remember my goal is to come out great. Well then what does great mean? Well that depends on who I ask. If you’d ask a rabbi he’ll tell me that I have a mission that I must console in this life, and I’ve been sent down for a reason, if I ask my uncle he’ll tell me to enjoy my life as much as possible cause nobody came out alive from this life. So what’s the next step? Who’s right? Well what if I said it doesn’t matter. Yes you heard me the truth doesn’t matter. Who cares about the truth? Perception is reality, that is the answer. There is no such thing as truth, as the perception of it is greater. It is for that reason that I believe there is absolute freedom to believe in what I want, however this is a very dangerous approach. Freedom sometimes is more dangerous than captivity. But that’s me, I question everything, and sometimes I try to find things out that I’m not supposed to. So what do I believe in? Being free isn’t that easy, so I am still swimming myself to shore, but with the help of the waves or good mentors I will be at shore. WOW I just went in deep. Time to come out back to reality, perception rather. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to you, yes you 

Although sometimes I may not

see you, I am still very grateful 

For all though has done for me,

It is something I owe you for

giving without the intent of receiving,

And even if it is so, it’s ok because

My perception is not so…

[sundancepoetry]

i pledge allegiance… i pledge allegiance to thegroup text i pledge allegianceto laughter’ Safia Elhillo, 'Self-Portrait With No Flag'

[luthienne]

hello honey!! finding you and everything you post has honestly changed me as a person and made me develop a huge interest in writing and poetry so thank you!! a while back you posted a beautiful compilation post about the relationship between mothers and daughters and you have a tag dedicated to that relationship. i was wondering if you had anything similar concerning the relationship between children and their fathers? maybe you have and i just completely missed it but anything you have to offer would be greatly appreciated. as always, keep being inspiring and lovely in every possible way and thank you so much :)

“Do you believe me if I say I only ever wanted / to be worthy of my father’s grief? / Of the kind of obsession that nearly drowns us?”

“‘Read poems as prayers,’ he said,”

“Father of shivering times crazed by each spring’s demand / Why would you know your daughter?”

“i am not afraid of men only of forgiving / my father without meaning to”

sarah kay, “hand-me-downs” / tatiana luboviski-acosta, “[untitled]” / daughter, “the woods” / julian randall, from “icarus imposter syndrome” / susanne sundfør, from “father father” / seamus heaney, opened ground / li-young lee, from “the gift” / stromae, “papaoutai” / susanne sundfør, “father father” / b.h. fairchild, from “the machinist, teaching his daughter to play the piano” / joan murray, “on looking at left fields” / cathy linh che, from “becoming ghost” / safia elhillo, “the persistence of damage” / elizabeth lindsey rogers, from “questions about the father" / desireé dallagiacomo, from sink; “origin story”

[richincolor]

New Releases

We're only one month into 2021, and already there are so many exciting books out... and today is no exception. Here's what's releasing tomorrow (Tuesday!):

Love is a Revolution by Renée Watson When Nala Robertson reluctantly agrees to attend an open mic night for her cousin-sister-friend Imani’s birthday, she finds herself falling in instant love with Tye Brown, the MC. He’s perfect, except . . . Tye is an activist and is spending the summer putting on events for the community when Nala would rather watch movies and try out the new seasonal flavors at the local creamery. In order to impress Tye, Nala tells a few tiny lies to have enough in common with him. As they spend more time together, sharing more of themselves, some of those lies get harder to keep up. As Nala falls deeper into keeping up her lies and into love, she’ll learn all the ways love is hard, and how self-love is revolutionary.

In Love Is a Revolution, plus size girls are beautiful and get the attention of the hot guys, the popular girl clique is not shallow but has strong convictions and substance, and the ultimate love story is not only about romance but about how to show radical love to the people in your life, including to yourself. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

A Taste for Love by Jennifer Yen To her friends, high school senior Liza Yang is nearly perfect. Smart, kind, and pretty, she dreams big and never shies away from a challenge. But to her mom, Liza is anything but. Compared to her older sister Jeannie, Liza is stubborn, rebellious, and worst of all, determined to push back against all of Mrs. Yang’s traditional values, especially when it comes to dating.

The one thing mother and daughter do agree on is their love of baking. Mrs. Yang is the owner of Houston’s popular Yin & Yang Bakery. With college just around the corner, Liza agrees to help out at the bakery’s annual junior competition to prove to her mom that she’s more than her rebellious tendencies once and for all. But when Liza arrives on the first day of the bake-off, she realizes there’s a catch: all of the contestants are young Asian American men her mother has handpicked for Liza to date.

The bachelorette situation Liza has found herself in is made even worse when she happens to be grudgingly attracted to one of the contestants; the stoic, impenetrable, annoyingly hot James Wong. As she battles against her feelings for James, and for her mother’s approval, Liza begins to realize there’s no tried and true recipe for love. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Fat Chance, Charlie Vega by Crystal Maldonado Charlie Vega is a lot of things. Smart. Funny. Artistic. Ambitious. Fat.

People sometimes have a problem with that last one. Especially her mom. Charlie wants a good relationship with her body, but it’s hard, and her mom leaving a billion weight loss shakes on her dresser doesn’t help. The world and everyone in it have ideas about what she should look like: thinner, lighter, slimmer-faced, straighter-haired. Be smaller. Be whiter. Be quieter.

But there’s one person who’s always in Charlie’s corner: her best friend Amelia. Slim. Popular. Athletic. Totally dope. So when Charlie starts a tentative relationship with cute classmate Brian, the first worthwhile guy to notice her, everything is perfect until she learns one thing–he asked Amelia out first. So is she his second choice or what? Does he even really see her? UGHHH. Everything is now officially a MESS.

A sensitive, funny, and painful coming-of-age story with a wry voice and tons of chisme, Fat Chance, Charlie Vega tackles our relationships to our parents, our bodies, our cultures, and ourselves. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Yesterday is History by Kosoko Jackson Weeks ago, Andre Cobb received a much-needed liver transplant.

He’s ready for his life to finally begin, until one night, when he passes out and wakes up somewhere totally unexpected…in 1969, where he connects with a magnetic boy named Michael. And then, just as suddenly as he arrived, he slips back to present-day Boston, where the family of his donor is waiting to explain that his new liver came with a side effect—the ability to time travel. And they’ve tasked their youngest son, Blake, with teaching Andre how to use his unexpected new gift.

Andre splits his time bouncing between the past and future. Between Michael and Blake. Michael is everything Andre wishes he could be, and Blake, still reeling from the death of his brother, Andre’s donor, keeps him at arm’s length despite their obvious attraction to each other.

Torn between two boys, one in the past and one in the present, Andre has to figure out where he belongs—and more importantly who he wants to be—before the consequences of jumping in time catch up to him and change his future for good. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

The Obsession (The Obsession #1) by Jesse Q. Sutanto Nobody knows Delilah like Logan does. Nobody. He makes sure of it by learning everything he can through her social media and watching her through a hidden camera he has trained on her house. Some might call him a stalker. Logan prefers to be called “romantic.”

But after Logan sees Delilah killing her abusive stepfather, he realizes there’s still more about her to discover. His sweet, perfect Delilah isn’t so perfect after all. Delilah knows she should feel guilty, but all she feels is free. She’s so over the men in her life controlling her. Except Logan saw what she did, and he won’t let her forget it. Delilah is done being the victim. And she refuses to be a character in Logan’s twisted fantasy. If Logan won’t let her go… she’ll make him. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Muted by Tamil Charles For seventeen-year-old Denver, music is everything. Writing, performing, and her ultimate goal: escaping her very small, very white hometown.

So Denver is more than ready on the day she and her best friends Dali and Shak sing their way into the orbit of the biggest R&B star in the world, Sean “Mercury” Ellis. Merc gives them everything: parties, perks, wild nights — plus hours and hours in the recording studio. Even the painful sacrifices and the lies the girls have to tell are all worth it.

Until they’re not. Denver begins to realize that she’s trapped in Merc’s world, struggling to hold on to her own voice. As the dream turns into a nightmare, she must make a choice: lose her big break, or get broken.

Inspired by true events, Muted is a fearless exploration of the dark side of the music industry, the business of exploitation, how a girl’s dreams can be used against her — and what it takes to fight back. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

Home is Not a Country by Safia Elhillo Nima doesn’t feel understood. By her mother, who grew up far away in a different land. By her white suburban town, which feels both dangerous and familiar. At least she has her childhood friend Haitham, with whom she can let her guard down and be herself.

Until she doesn’t. As the ground is pulled out from under her, Nima must grapple with the phantom of a life not chosen, the name her parents didn’t give her at birth: Yasmeen. But that other name, that other girl, might just be more real than Nima knows. And more hungry.

This book is a story of mothers and daughters, of friends and enemies, of journeys and homecomings, and of realizing that sometimes the person you’re meant to be has been staring at you in the mirror all along. — Cover image and summary via Goodreads

[jkottke]

"What, to My People, is the Fourth of July?"

In a powerful video for the Movement For Black Lives, Daveed Diggs asks: "What, to My People, is the Fourth of July?"

What, to my people, is the Fourth of July? My people, who are failed every day by every country, sleepless in the long night, terrorized by fireworks, we who have cried salt baths for our kin.

Look at all we have borne for you: arms, armistice, the sweetest fruits, flesh of children hidden away from the ugly summer of their own blood -- we are on the front lines. Help me, tell me, what do we tell the children of your Fourth of July? What is death to a daughter? What is river to a sea? Where is the country where my people are safe?

Ancestors set the table send dream mares in high supply. Too heavy, too spent, too hot to cook, no promise beyond the sparkly simple bombs. Keep your holiday, your hunger, the blood in your teeth. Police parade down streets, proud descendants of the slave patrol. Theater of denial, a propaganda pageant, and we are on the front lines all summer. My uncle can't sleep and he was born free. And he ain't never been.

The text performed by Diggs -- written by Safia Elhillo, Danez Smith, Lauren Whitehead, W. Kamau Bell, Angel Nafis, Idris Goodwin, Pharoahe Monch, Camonghne Felix, and Nate Marshall -- was inspired by Frederick Douglass' July 5, 1852 speech, in which he asked, "What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of July?"

Fellow-citizens, pardon me, allow me to ask, why am I called upon to speak here to-day? What have I, or those I represent, to do with your national independence? Are the great principles of political freedom and of natural justice, embodied in that Declaration of Independence, extended to us? and am I, therefore, called upon to bring our humble offering to the national altar, and to confess the benefits and express devout gratitude for the blessings resulting from your independence to us?

[safia-elhillo]

honored to work on this w some of my favorite writers for Movement 4 Black Lives, narrated by Daveed Diggs, as we are asked to celebrate this nation’s independence day, its freedom, as we are faced w the irony & cruelty as Black people who have not gotten to partake in that freedom.

(Text DEFEND TO 90975 to get involved)

Written by:

W. Kamau Bell, Safia Elhillo, Camonghne Felix, Idris Goodwin, Nate Marshall, Pharoahe Monch, Angel Nafis, Danez Smith, and Lauren A. Whitehead.

Inspired by Frederick Douglass’ historic speech “What to the Slave is the Fourth of July?”

Directed by: Yvan Iturriaga Creative Director: Adam Mansbach

Executive Produced by: Offsides Productions & Colehouse Walker Political Outcomes

Executive Produced by: Josh Healey and Yvan Iturriaga

Concept: Calvin Williams and Josh Healey

DP & Sound: Aleixo Goncalves Flores

Editor: Meko Winbush

Music: Martin Perna

[inboldmagazine]

INBOLD MEETS: Nwaobiala, the artist healing the hidden traumas of the African Diaspora

Nwaobiala poses with paintings created by BAKHITA. Photo taken by BAKHITA. Interview and Text by Nandi Ndoro. 

Nwaobiala (they/them/their) is the mixed-media artist the African Diaspora never knew it needed. Hailing from Nigeria and Prince George's County, Maryland, Nwaobiala is a 21-year-old creative using short films, photography, personal essays, mixed-media collages, and other mediums of art to promote self-care and self-expression.

Since starting university as a pre-med major to appease their traditional parents, Nwaobiala has been shifting into full-time artistry. Addressing everything from their first time having an STI to intergenerational abuse amongst African mothers, Nwaobiala's art is powerful, especially to black people who have never been able to have these conversations. There is no doubt that as they continue to explore their artistic capabilities, they are creating a movement of young black people who seek to explore, expose, and heal the hidden traumas of communities in the African Diaspora.

Nwaobiala’s most recent project, “we are more than bodies,” explores the effects of cultural homophobia in Queer Nigerian Americans via photography and digital collaging.

Nwaobiala sat down with Inbold in July to talk about their upbringing and what it has been like being honest in communities that often promote secrecy.  

How did you get into art?

I've been writing stories ever since I was in 2nd grade. I showed them to my teachers but never to my parents. They used to say, "You have to be a doctor. You have to go to medical school." They still say that. Then from seventh grade to the middle of 10th grade, I went to school in Nigeria. When I came back to the States, I ended up in this English class taught by this really dope, black woman. When we got to the Poetry unit, I didn't know how to write poetry but I ended up writing a piece about women empowerment. I performed it in front of the class and I got a standing ovation. I was like, "Wow, I'm actually kind of good at this." Then, during my senior year of high school, I took a TV production class and that was the first time I ever held a camera. I thought it was cool how some people used visuals to tell their stories. I had started working around that time so I decided to buy myself a camera. I had also just come out of a terrible breakup so it was perfect timing. I was still using that camera when I got to college.

When did you start doing slam poetry?

After that poetry performance about women empowerment, I found a lot of spoken word videos on YouTube which I became obsessed with. Then, during my freshman year of college, I joined CUPSI, the College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational, so I was competing in poetry slam events across the country. I did that for two years and it was really cool. That was really when I started to express myself more. I just met so many cool people doing their thing: being queer as hell and gay as shit. It was everything I needed. I'm taking a break this year though because I'm not really into slam poetry anymore.

Why is that?

At the time I was doing slam poetry, it was bringing up a lot of trauma in my life. I didn't have therapy and I couldn't deal with it. I feel like people want you to tell them about your traumatic experiences during performances but that's re-traumatizing for me. I needed to take a break. Looking back now, I don't think I'm going to go back to it. I also don't like when my writing is in that "slam poetry format". I realized that when I took poet Ariana Brown's workshop and I was like, "Wow, I hate the way my writing is structured." Once I left that format, I liked my writing a lot more.

How did you get into collages?  

Last year, I was at home for Christmas, and I was really bored. My parents are really strict so when I go home, I don't leave the house that much. So I was like, "Okay, let's make art." I couldn't take pictures though because it was cold, plus I needed models and transportation. I had been seeing people make digital collages so I started making them and they were a really big hit.

“we are more than bodies” by Nwaobiala

Are you still making them?

Definitely. I think digital collages are really cool because you get to put different parts together to create a whole new message. I have one about intergenerational trauma via mothers that's inspired by Safia Elhillo. She has literally some of the best diaspora poems that I've ever read, specifically from her book The January Children. The college is about how cultures that only see women as objects for breeding children, not as a people to be loved, impact our mothers. I think my mother is very much affected by that culture. She's not happy in her marriage but she'll still go around telling people, "At least I kept my man." I'm like, "Who cares?". That nigga stresses her out so why is she happy about that? I think a lot of women are unhappy in their marriages, especially in Nigeria. It makes me so sad. Even more, when I watched the Nina Simone documentary, it reminded me of this intergenerational trauma. Nina Simone was abused by her husband and went on to abuse her daughter. You can see the cycle of trauma within that situation. Now that I think about it, we all remember Nina Simone differently than how she really lived. Exploring that type of trauma and how we interact with our mothers is an example of what my collages are about. Outside of that, I'm also trying to get into music.

I was gonna ask you about that… music is the one thing you haven't conquered yet!

Yeah, I'm trying to get into DJing because I think it's so sexy.

Honestly, it is.

Yeah, but the equipment is a barrier. Same thing with photography. Honestly, all this art shit is extremely expensive. Photography is really expensive. The one lens that I have only cost me $30, so that's good. It's nice but it's not versatile. I've been applying to a million, trillion grants and they’re hard to get so I have to wait until I win some before getting more photography equipment. My laptop is also running out of storage every day because of my YouTube channel. Lol, it's just been a lot.

I love your videos!

Thank you! I actually make my videos via my external hard drive because I can't have them on my laptop. Oh, man. It's a mess. Art is expensive and tedious.

But it's something that you have to continue?

Oh, yeah. Art is the only thing that feels right to me. I'm not drawn to anything else. I don't see myself looking up YouTube videos about engineering, for example. I don't feel any type of drive to do anything but art. I'm interested in a variety of subjects but I like the medium of art. I like how it gets to people and I like making it.

“we are more than bodies” by Nwaobiala

What has your relationship with your parents been like since you started spending more time creating art?

My parents don’t really know about the art thing. See what had happened was, I had told my dad that I was going to go to university as a Bioengineering major to eventually get into medical school, I’m still on an engineering scholarship, but my first semester was so stressful. It was really anxiety-inducing and I was stressed about my GPA all the time. I couldn’t live like that. So I changed my major to Industrial engineering, which even though it’s still STEM, my dad doesn’t approve.

But being a full-time artist is the goal?

Yes. I’m building my brand now with my website and social media. I’m mostly financially independent so even if my parents tell me I can’t do it, I’m just gonna do it.

When did you start identifying with the Diaspora as opposed to just Africans in general?

The Diaspora is home for me. Even though I grew up in Nigeria partly, I can't fully identify with Nigerians because I do have that "Americanness" in me. Whenever I have a dissenting opinion about our culture, they often attribute it to me being "spoiled" or "damaged" by western culture.

Yeah, that "Americanness" will separate you so fast from an African community.

Facts. It's just hard for a lot of people to understand or see any other point of view that's different from theirs. But recently, I've been connecting with a lot of people that I went to boarding school within Nigeria. Some of them are roaring feminists now and that's hella cool. I know two who are queer so I would really like to interview them. In Nigeria, the ignorance about queer identity is real. Actually, I don't even have to go back there to feel the ignorance. I can just go to a family reunion or talk to my Dad. It's really hard to deal with, honestly. It makes me so mad that I need to calm myself down.

Who are some of your influences?

Oh man, this question is so hard! I need to pull out my Instagram. One of the first people that comes to mind is Yagazie Emezi. She's a Nigerian photographer and she's a trailblazer. I like everything that her work revolves around. I also like her personality: she's the type of person to say that the photography industry is really white and male and that they all want you to be a certain type of way. They want you to be quiet and aloof. You're just an artist so you can't have a presence to you. But she's like "Fuck all of that! I'm going to be whoever I want and you should just take it or leave it." She also doesn't let people dangle money in front of her and she's very successful. Who else? Oh, Koffee, the musician! She's just herself and I love it.

What has your networking been like with other artists?

A lot of my friends are artists. I have one friend who I went to school with in Nigeria and in the States as well. Her name is Crystal Anokam and she's an amazing photographer. She's really been my support system because she's also a Nigerian American so she knows what's up. In general, I surround myself with a lot of people from the African Diaspora. If you're Diaspora: I want to value your work, I want to pay for your work, I want to see your work. I care about the stories that you're telling. That's the art I want to see. I hate going to museums sometimes because there's so much white art! If I wanted to see white art, I'd go to church. For example, the MFA in Boston is hella white. I was there one time and this teacher was taking a group of students through the African art section. The teacher said to the students, "Oh yeah, this is the African art. We haven't really talked about Africa this year..." and he just kept speeding past all the work. I was like, "Bruh, this is your chance to talk to your students about our continent!" It's sad because there were black kids in that group too. But yeah, I like to surround myself with people who have that background because they know where I'm coming from. Even if our parents don't support our art, we know that the art that we create matters. It's so important for us to talk about heavy subjects and these stories because no one is specifically scouting for African artists. You have to push yourself into the spotlight. You also need to be able to connect with other people. Ever since I started my YouTube channel, I've had so many people message me and tell me "Damn, I'm going through the exact same thing!" It's nice to hear people say that and to be able to have these difficult conversations. Sometimes I feel like I'm just kind of here by myself. This shit can get rough so that's nice.

You can find more of Nwaobiala’s work at www.nwaobiala.com, on Instagram @nwaobiala, or on YouTube: nwaobiala. 

[slightestcomplication]

Via kottke.org

"The text performed by Diggs — written by Safia Elhillo, Danez Smith, Lauren Whitehead, W. Kamau Bell, Angel Nafis, Idris Goodwin, Pharoahe Monch, Camonghne Felix, and Nate Marshall — was inspired by Frederick Douglass’ July 5, 1852 speech, in which he asked, “What, to the American slave, is your Fourth of July?”"

[razorsadness]

I am sad and scared again. And angry. Always always angry.

Angry that I live in a country whose government has bungled the pandemic response so greatly that we're seeing more and more cases and deaths every day. More suffering.

Angry that I live in a place where half the people won't even choose, on their own, to stay home as much as possible / wear a mask and social distance when they do go out. Because apparently protecting yourself and others from infectious disease impinges on their freedum as 'muricans.

Saturday I had to go downtown to run an errand and all these people were walking around in big groups, going into bars with no masks on, acting like it was just a regular June Saturday. I just wanted to scream at them that they're making this all worse for everyone else, and making it last longer.

And I'm angry at this tweet I saw, something along the lines of: Why does anyone miss life as it was pre-quarantine? You miss spending too much money and spending too much time trying to make money?

Nevermind that a break from that was never the reality for everyone, as some people have had to work throughout all of this. Even aside from that, it's like...no, I don't miss that aspect of life. But I miss being able to go to a bar or coffee shop. I miss being able to see my friends, to hug them. I miss being able to send my kids to daycare or school or their grandparents' house; to take them to the library or the museum or the farmer's market. I miss going to the grocery store or post office without having a fucking panic attack.

And now that my partner is back at work four days a week, my life isn't much different than it was this time last year, it's just...worse. He's at work four days a week, I'm stuck at home with the kids, we're running out of money, every time I read a news article or opinion piece (no matter what "side" they're on), I want to die.

I don't want to die, really, but I do have days where I wish I could just stay in bed forever and disintegrate into the sheets.

But I can't.

So I try to keep myself going. With writing and gardening, mostly.

Our garden is doing well, and we’re starting a compost bin, which will hopefully make it even better.

In eight days I start a six week long online writing workshop led by Caits Meissner. One reason I signed up for it is that alongside the readings we will be drawing inspiration from visual art, music, and political movements, including: Sun Ra, Frida Kahlo, riot grrrl, Cindy Sherman, Yayoi Kusama, David Wojnarowicz, Cy Twombly, and lots lots more. And the people we’ll be reading include: Amiri Baraka, Audre Lorde, Zora Neal Hurston, Maggie Nelson, Jane Hirshfield, Kim Addonizio, Pablo Neruda, Safia Elhillo, etc. Also, since 2016, every year but 2018 I have participated in an either in-person or online writing workshop, and every single one has broadened my craft and gotten me to create some of my best work. I know I said above we’re getting low on money, but I had some money set aside for a tattoo, and since I really don’t feel safe about getting a tattoo right now, I used that money for the workshop instead.

And I am reading some (good, progressive, non-hokey) books about witchcraft, trying to get back into the craft that I have gotten away from.

Trying to imagine a better world and then help create it. I feel like somewhere along the way we (meaning the U.S., but also the world) stopped imagining utopias and striving for them. Someone made us feel like, no matter what we do, things are going to get worse, so why even try to make things better? Why even imagine things will turn out fine? I don’t mean being like the jerks who won’t wear masks, thinking “if I just pretend the virus doesn’t exist, it can’t get me!” I just mean, dreaming that things will turn out for the better, and then helping ensure that happens, in whatever way.

On that note—I reached out to a local friend who is very active in civil rights/human rights work, and said that though I can’t be on the frontlines, I am always down for cooking and delivering food. He said that cooking and delivering/serving food is a very important but often overlooked part of civil rights work, and that he’s going to find a way to take me up on it.

So. Witchcraft, poetry, gardening, activism. Those are the things keeping me going. And really, aren’t they all just different forms of magic?

[whilereadingandwalking]

My thoughts have been with the tragedy in Christchurch. I don't have many words, but frankly, right now that isn't a sufficient response. White communities must do better. More than thoughts and prayers. We need to educate ourselves, step up, loudly condemn white supremacy and Islamophobia and do the work to tear it from our communities. We need to be better allies and amplify Muslim voices. White supremacy is toxic and deadly, which is nothing new, and we can and should be doing more. 

I know how to do things through books and empathy, so inspired by Laurie Halse Anderson's words today, I am starting there. I am pausing my March reading list to dive into books on my shelves that feature and highlight Muslim voices: Love Hate & Other Filters by Samira Ahmed, A Very Large Expanse of Sea by Tahereh Mafi, and the upcoming Halal If You Hear Me: Breakbeat Poets Vol. 3, editing by Fatimah Asghar and Safia Elhillo. And I plan to do research about what I can do to support Muslim communities and be a better ally. It's not enough. But it's a start.

[ellipsea]

i want to start getting more into slam poetry, which ones do you recommend? :0

oh gosh so many. Button Poetry on youtube (they’re also on tumblr) is absolutely the best bet for content curation, they have a diverse archive from competitions and open mics alike and upload new performances frequently. All Def Poetry sadly dropped off the map and removed all their content, they used to have a brilliant archive but you can still find some vids of poets that participated in their events posted by other channels.

my favorites in no order are: Rudy Francisco, Blythe Baird, Patrick Roche, Danez Smith, Alysia Harris, Guante, Jared Singer, Sabrina Benaim. all of their poems always leave an impression.

some specific faves:

“Humans” by Meghann Plunkett (loved this visual poem so much i wrote a poem about Cabeswater in response to it)

“Dinosaurs in the Hood” by Danez Smith (he’s so appropriately funny and then serious and well-paced and just captures the room)

“How to Unfold a Memory” by Sabrina Benaim (can’t tell you exactly why this one stuck with me but the imagery was just. honey and dusty and new things stick out to me each time)

“A Pragmatist’s Guide to Magic” by Guante (because it reminded me of Adam Parrish)

“Alien Suite” by Safia Elhillo (this is a long one but oh my god the things she does with language, every line is inspired and masterfully crafted with incredible social commentary)

this is just for starters! try out some different poets and see who you like. it’s a really fun and engaging and political medium and i love it as an art form because you can do brand new things with phonetics and gestures that are left up to interpretation in written form.

[poetryforafallenartist]

http://bit.ly/AlienSuite

[spitshinepoetry]

Throwback Thursday: warmup prompt

Make a list of your favorite songs. Pick three and write about your connection to them. Where and when did you first hear these songs? What memories and emotions do you associate with them? Are there any connections between the songs you chose?

Inspired by Safia Elhillo’s “callback interview for the position of Abdelhalim Hafez’s girl”.

[limejuicer1862]

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews

I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me. I gave the writers two options: an emailed list of questions or a more fluid interview via messenger.

The usual ground is covered about motivation, daily routines and work ethic, but some surprises too. Some of these poets you may know, others may be new to you. I hope you enjoy the experience as much as I do.

Michael H. Brownstein

has had his work appear in The Café Review, American Letters and Commentary, Skidrow Penthouse, Xavier Review, Hotel Amerika, Meridian Anthology of Contemporary Poetry, The Pacific Review, Poetrysuperhighway.com and others. In addition, he has nine poetry chapbooks including A Period of Trees (Snark Press, 2004), Firestorm: A Rendering of Torah (Camel Saloon Press, 2012), The Possibility of Sky and Hell: From My Suicide Book (White Knuckle Press, 2013) and The Katy Trail, Mid-Missouri, 100 Degrees Outside and Other Poems (Kind of Hurricane Press, 2013). He is the editor of First Poems from Viet Nam (2011). His book, A Slipknot Into Somewhere Else: A Poet’s Journey To The Borderlands Of Dementia, is published by Cholla Needles Press (2018). He presently resides in Jefferson City, Missouri where he lives with enough animals to open a shelter.

The Interview

1. What inspired you to write poetry?

In elementary school, I began writing silly rhymes for no reason at all—mostly around the holidays, but in high school a Ms. Perkins—my history teacher—encouraged me to write because she liked the way I experimented with the essay form. At one point every sentence in any essay I handed in could not be more than five words. She thought it would be interesting to see if I could write poetry. I did, thought my stuff was OK—it really wasn’t—but I found I actually liked writing—so I kept on and on and now it’s many years later and I’m still writing.

Who introduced you to poetry?

I don’t remember, but I do remember Ms. Perkins and Archie Lieberman who thought I was creative enough with my short stories—in retrospect were not very creative or very good—to write poetry—and he liked my work enough to take them around with him when he was doing high profile photojournalism stories for magazines such as Look, Life, and Playboy. Of course, those editors knew my work was not that good, but I kept on writing mostly for myself until I fell playing hockey in my thirties, found myself in traction and then in bed rest bored out of my mind. That’s when I became serious, started writing better and began sending stuff out. FactSheet 5, (a magazine that listed hundreds and hundreds of zines, journals, and books with simple one to two paragraph reviews) was around back then and I used it as my go to reference to submit work.

How aware were you of the dominating presence of older poets?

I always liked Mary Oliver. Read everything she wrote. Rita Dove is another poet I admire very much. Carolyn Forche because, well, because she’s Carolyn Forche. I always admired Henry Wadsworth Longfellow and Robert Louis Stevenson.

What is your daily writing routine?

I write every day for about an hour, usually in the morning, and then come back to poems I wrote earlier in the day, months, even years, and make revisions in the evening.

What motivates you to write?

I feel I have something to offer. Sometimes I write just to write, other times I have a particular audience in mind, other times I feel I have something important to say and so I say it with poetry. I have a series coming out, for example, on the blog of Moristotle (https://moristotle.blogspot.com/), for example on reparations. I wrote it for African-American history month. Here’s a sample stanza:

If we go another thirty miles over, we arrive in Columbia, a lynching–there were more in Missouri, many more– and this one was no different–James Scott was lynched as more than a thousand white bystanders looked on– and he was innocent–the real rapist discovered after the fact– too late again–and no whites paid for the crime– Do we not owe Scott’s family reparations? A sincere apology?

What is your work ethic?

I submit to a publication every other day throughout the year. I never miss a day. I go to two poetry programs to workshop my poetry—and I am the co-host of the local library’s poetry program.

I spend every day with some writing exercise. No exceptions. I also carry around a notebook if an image hits my fancy.

Here’s an image that came to me when I saw the sunlight come out behind gray clouds and light up a field along the highway: We knew each other by the spotlight on wild flowers,

the bath of prairie sage and the colors blue and green,

Later, I turned it into a longer poem utilizing the first line at the beginning of each stanza.

How do the writers you read when you were young influence you today?

I don’t rhyme too often, but when I do I look back to the work of Longfellow. He is still stuck in my mind. I even have one of his volumes in one of my boxes in the attic to this day—along with more than a hundred other poets—but he’s the one I remember.

Who of today’s writers do you admire the most and why?

Safia Elhillo. She writes with a power that is incredible. Her poem “Girls That Never Die” is so brilliant, when I reread it—and I do reread it—I have to take deep breaths because this poem, for example, is that deep.

Martin Espada is another contemporary poet. When he wrote about the hurricane that took out Puerto Rico, you were there. You felt the pain of the people. You became one of them. He has a way with line and image that is just magnificent.

Then there’s June Jordan whose political poetry is made of magic.

Then there’s Carolyn Forche who’s book, Twentieth Century Poetry of Witness, inspired me to write an e-book, Firestorm: A Rendering of Torah (http://booksonblog35.blogspot.com/).

And, of course, Mary Oliver who recently passed away and Rita Dove.

Why do you write, as opposed to doing anything else?

I write because it makes me happy; it’s the most satisfying thing I do now. I used to teach in the inner city of Chicago. That was the most satisfying thing I did. I’m retired now. Writing has taken its place as most satisfying.

What would you say to someone who asked you “How do you become a writer?”

Write. Write what you know. Write what you want to know. Just write.

Put it in a drawer. Take it out days, weeks, even months later and read it again.

Revise. Revise. Revise.

I tell individuals who want to become writers to worry about audience and publication after you have what you feel is a completed work. Even then I invite them to workshop it with one of the groups I am in.

I also tell them it doesn’t hurt to read a lot of poetry.

Tell me about the writing projects you have on at the moment.

I’m working on a book of prose poems and poems, The Tattoo Garden of Capella. So far I’ve revised it twenty times or more, but I keep coming back to it. It’s about a place that is magical and safe, a place full of color and love. At one point, dangerous people enter the garden only to have poetry destroy their weapons.

I’m also hard at work on a prose poem that’s rather long. In it, a poet with writer’s block gets help from a very eccentric man who sounds more like as tuba than a human being:

The odd looking man looked at him as if he had never seen him before—and perhaps he had not—and answered with soft moans, climatic yelps, silence, the sound of a tuba, and then an oomph. Ahh, he said, and then ohh. He paused. The rent is paid up, you know, but a long time ago I lost my way in…

Wombwell Rainbow Interviews: Michael H. Brownstein Wombwell Rainbow Interviews I am honoured and privileged that the following writers local, national and international have agreed to be interviewed by me.

[worldwidewis]

Safia Elhillo ‘09

From i-d: “four artists on how group texting can decolonize and inspire”

https://i-d.vice.com/en_us/article/four-artists-on-how-group-texting-can-decolonize-and-inspire

July, 2017