#inside the mirror do you see
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plushkasa · 6 months ago
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your last post was horrible. i love it
Guys I just needed a image to attach to my announcement post I didn't mean to cause any mental harm that might have caused..
That pic is really funny though
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firestorm09890 · 2 years ago
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Carmen projectmoon is a great character because they went “yeah she's just the dead wife character sorry :( FUCK YOU JUST KIDDING SHE HAUNTS THE NARRATIVE” and then she haunted the narrative so hard she caused fundamental changes to the entire setting and affected literally everyone in the world of the story and she’s still haunting the narrative to this day, even after the game that was about her haunting the narrative. most recently they made her a narrator (probably) and [uh hi future bluejay here, what was originally here might not have been true but since this post was made she's done even more]. she died before the first entry of the series
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evangelistofmurder · 5 months ago
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Chapter 4 Musing + Bonus thoughts in tags
I've been thinking about this recently and realized: Yakou did have a chance of surviving the gas but made the deliberate choice not to:
[Solution Key - Toxic Gas Properties]
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Yakou could have asked Desuhiko for a space suit; I don't even think the latter would question it either, this hammers more of the fact that the plan was a murder-suicide from the start. Though, this is the same man who takes dying over and over again in considering and still went through with it.
He really only needed Desuhiko's and Fubuki's fortes to enact the murder, but he brings Halara and Vivia to the lab as well. Yakou knows damn well the peacekeepers, especially Yomi will look for any excuse to arrest/execute the NDA. He brings Halara and Vivia to protect Fubuki, Desuhiko and Yuma; Yomi accuses the remaining NDA detectives for Yakou's 'murder' anyways. It was somewhat fruitless but the fact of the matter is to say even when lying to the others he did still care about them. Just as much as Yakou cared about the NDA the latter cared about Yakou just as much too. Yakou was really the heart of the NDA; Yakou just never took into account that everyone else would try desperately to save his life instead of just leaving him. (Going on a whim, to say he probably thought they'd just leave like how his former detectives left to join the peackeepers).
Yuma trying to beg Yomi to get Yakou medical attention, Fubuki using all her energy to rewind time in order save him, Halara administrating first aid after fighting the peackeepers, Desuhiko having to tell Fubuki to not to turn back time any further so the Chief can rest because it is too late and Vivia just standing there walking away since he doesn't know how to deal with it and express it directly. Hell, Halara was potentially giving CPR to his corpse in hopes that he'd stay alive after Yuma and Vivia checked Huesca's logs.
Finally, there's everyone's collective survivors guilt. It's safe to assume everyone knew what happened before Number One called in whether Yuma or Vivia said something; There's also Kurumi who wasn't even at the lab asking if they made a mistake by going.
In closing, it's a tragedy in every single way and I don't even think I hit everything in this musing; To me this is more focused on the NDA's perception of events
[I'd appreciate if people made responses to this by the way!!]
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bravevolunteer · 1 year ago
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michael's physical fate mirroring his emotional trauma is so perfectly engineered to make me fucking insane and that choice was not intentional at AAAALLLL
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asmidge · 11 months ago
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emotional over how Android 17 was built to kill and now his job is protecting life. he doesn’t want to kill the poachers even though they directly threaten the animals that are so important to him
he has a wife and kids now and has an actual life, something that Dr Gero never envisioned for him or his sister. they were created as tools meant to kill Goku but they’re his friend now. they live for themselves and value the lives that they were originally meant to destroy
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fourswords · 1 year ago
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zelda and shadow in the fsa manga drive me ridiculously insane actually. the panel where shadow is kneeling on the floor and zelda is standing there looking down at him and they're SEEING each other is enough to give me fucking RABIES. LOOK AT THIS
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#IT'S ABOUT HOW THEY GO FROM ANTAGONIZING EACH OTHER AT THE BEGINNING TO ACTUALLY TRULY GENUINELY SEEING EACH OTHER AT THE END!!!!#HOW ZELDA GOES FROM 'You're no shadow! More like a faint and twisted echo! Even at his WORST Link would never be as crude and rude as you!'#TO 'Do you really think the light will hurt you? Don't you see? You are a Link‚ too. Deep inside‚ you're really a hero.'#AND HOW SHADOW GOES FROM 'Curse you... ...Princess Zelda!'#and. all the other things#TO BRAVING THE WORLD OF LIGHT AGAIN EVEN THOUGH HE'S WEAKENED AND PAINED AND TERRIFIED OF THE LIGHT#BECAUSE SHE WAS THE FIRST PERSON WHO EVER SPOKE A KIND WORD TO HIM AND MEANT IT. NO STRINGS ATTACHED. NO REWARD. JUST KIND.#EVEN WHEN SHE HAD ALL THE REASON NOT TO BE.#SO HE TAKES VIO'S FORM AND TELLS THE OTHER LINKS WHAT'S GOING ON (AND EXPERIENCES REAL CONCERN AND WORRY FROM THEM FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER#WHICH IS A WHOLE OTHER FUCKING POST) AND SHATTERS THE FUCKING MIRROR. SHATTERS HIS WHOLE LIFE.#BECAUSE SHE BELIEVED IN HIS ABILITY TO BE A HERO. BECAUSE SHE WAS KIND TO HIM. BECAUSE SHE SAW HIM. BECAUSE SHE *REALLY* SAW HIM.#BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SAVE HER. TO LIVE UP TO THAT KINDNESS. TO BE THE HERO SHE SAW IN HIM. LIKE!!!!!!!!!#i will lose my mind over it. i will genuinely lose my mind.#she looked at him as pathetic and weak and broken as he was and saw her friend in him. and she was kind. and so he sacrificed himself.#because someone was kind to him and meant it. head in my FUCKING hands.#sorry it's going insane about the four swords adventures manga again hours. but when is it not honestly#fsa#txt
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purple-beans · 8 months ago
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I can't sleep again
#it's all just too much#i need to be sending out emails and arranging stuff for a whole load of different things#but doing that fills me with such anxiety because i dont know how the fuck it works#but every moment I'm not doing those things it fills me with anxiety because i realise I'm standing still#and the only way forward it seems is through this#only it's not because the previous thing i was going was actually working and helping me forward but then my local gov said no actually#you're not allowed to do the thing anymore because we think so even tho we dont know what were talking about#so now you got the offer to look into this other thing that really just feels like the thing you already had but worse#so you have to contact the new thing and see what exactly they're about but already deep inside you know it probably wont work out#so it feels like you'll be doing that only so you can see it doesnt work in the hope that maybe if it doesnt work you can go back#to the gov people and show them the old thing was actually right. but that might not work and then you'll have to sue them#and all the while you spend your days just sitting at home doing nothing and slowly wasting away#getting a little bit worse every day. as you feel all the progress you made in the last year slowly slip through your fingers#and you start to think that maybe this is it. maybe it just doesn't get better. maybe this really is the best you can do and any more just#isn't in the cards for you. maybe you're just not cut out for this whole adult life business. you'll forever be...a failure#and that's just one thing. one thing of many you constantly need to worry about. it's not even adressing that your adhd treatment is still#kind of unclear who exactly is responsible. you've been running out of meds for a week and still haven't called because it's too much stress#or the way its been almost five years since you got on the waiting list at the gender clinic#three years of which were spent on the waiting list#but even now you've been “in treatment” for the past year and a half you still feel like you're no further. still no official “diagnosis”.#still no approval to change your birth certificate. your passport will run out by the end of the year and you'll have to get yet another#new one with your dead name on it. still no idea when you might finally get their approval to start on HRT. no idea when you might finally#get to stop feeling like every single day your body becomes a little less yours. where you look in the mirror and see someone stare back who#just simply looks wrong. feels wrong. you look at the hair on your head that really needs a haircut but you dont dare touch it because its#the one little thing that keeps the dysphoria at bay. and then you think of your dad and his bald head. and you look at your hairline and#cant help but wonder “is it receding a bit more right there?” always wondering if you'll lose this little bit of safety too#its all just too much. i dont know how much longer I can keep pushing myself forward at this rate. when all the good things get taken away#and I'm left having to deal with all of it on my own. i dont want to be alone but i dont know how to reach out to those around me. not even#to my friends sometimes. i know they're out there and i know they care but at the same time i dont know how to#let them. so I'm left alone and it's all my fault? isn't it. i know not all of this is my fault but also all of it is and i just
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mobgeo · 9 months ago
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I feel so clueless on how jokes work. I know what makes people laugh, and I can repeat what makes them laugh so I can be funny, but I still don't understand the joke itself. I know how to make people laugh but I don't understand WHY it elicits laughter
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dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 years ago
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.
#you wanna know what i fucking did today?#cleaned inside my freezer. outaide of my fridge. did the dishes. dusted the blinds#cleaned the bathroom sink. took all stuff off the walls. cleaned the microwave. cleaned my bedroom window#cleaned the kitchen baseboards. under the fridge. under the oven#packed up my art supplies and some clothes#cleaned my bathroom door. front door. wiped my bedroom walls. cleaned the bathroom floor#cleaned my stove top. tidied my bedroom floor. and listed my dresser in two facebook sell groups#all within about 2.5 hours#isnt that fuckin wild?? im so tired#oh and i sold my table. i had to get up early for that. and i went for a walk to get a fun little drink#my apartment is starting to get pretty empty. furniture is going and stuff is getting packed into bins. its wack#i need to put my shit furniture by the dumpster. isnt it lovely how we put furniture by the dumpster so others can take it#i mean. the sign by mine says not to put furniture in it. so maybe its just some malicious compliance by putting it next to the dumpster#but ive heard that furniture goes next to the dumpster so that others can take it. thats where i got my desk and my mirror#im gonna miss my desk. its so cute and i love it. but i dont have space. i dont mind getting rid of the other furniture tho#its shit furniture from estate sales that i bought out of necessity#now someone can have my shit furniture if they want it#its kind of fun to see my apartment get emptier and cleaner tho. my moving time is coming up and im so excited#its wild to look at the list of shit i cleaned today. i made a list in my notebook so i could keep track of what i was doing#and its really satisfying to cross stuff off of a list. it takes up almost a whole page length#im exhausted now tho. that was a lot of fucking cleaning#okay bye
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impossible-rat-babies · 2 years ago
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did zenos kill eyrie in UT? yeah. did he regret it enough that the dynamis dragged eyrie back to their body? a bit yea
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autistickfigure · 2 years ago
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i thought about them too hard GOODNIGHT
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totallynotfumesensei · 2 years ago
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¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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featherymainffins · 19 days ago
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Me right now: "The Smitten is just like me for real."
Like???? I hope not??????
#lile god i hope he isn't??? i hope I'm not like that???#...ok i do be like that to a degree i can't lie#like haha i understand your intense need to die a great death for someone you love and your preoccupation with the chase but not the result#and your immense disregard for yourself as a person which leads you to or perhaps is the consequence of transforming into a tool#a role and an object but it's never enough is it and you'll never be enough will you? and the clock on the wall it keeps on ticking#and you repeat 'this is how it's supposed to be'. and if you look inside yourself you will see that there is no yourself to look in.#if you look inside yourself you will find a shadow in the body of someone else#like ah boy just like me you subscribe to the Folk story but there is no curtain to roll when the dragon is slain#you get the girl and what then? if you don't die then what then? maybe if you destroy yourself enough you will achieve something#maybe if you tear your chest open the curtains will fall. otherwise the only thing left is 'what am i supposed to do?'#the one thing that I pray we don't have in common is his tendency to make caricatures of people in his head#like uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh i hope i don't do that.#which reminds me kinda funny how people were giving him way more slack when just Dam//sel existed. like i disliked him more back then#because The Da//msel is VISCERALLY horrifying to me. cannot stress how physically nauseous the chapter makes me#which might sound ironic considering I'm the biggest pioneer of 'boooo if anyone ever gets to know the real me I'm packing my bags#and leaving. nobody is allowed to interpret me the correct way. if you know me you don't. i hope you misunderstand every word i say.'#but i see a very thick line between not understanding me and between making up an idealised smooth harmless caricature of me#that you attempt to shove me into. like. the song The Projectionist by Aurelio Voltaire is what I'm referring to#and that's horrifying to me. like ah no not again please. a few times in my life was enough.#I'd say that simply 'not understanding' is Spec//tre and TPA//TD. And those routes are depressing#but not horrifying. they're like 'haha oh god that's me. don't mind my tears.' but Dam//sel is like...genuine horror. to me.#and HA//E actually made my opinion of Smi//tten better because like no no I get him. I also get H//AE Prin//cess. like haha that's me. ow.#Like haha girl the way you are incapable of saying the words 'i want' and cannot bear to say what you feel or think because you aren't#supposed to; it isn't what you should do; you should cave in and make others happy; don't you WANT to make others happy and who#gave you the right to even want something anyway; well it reminds me of the mirror in my house
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therevengeoffrankenstein · 1 month ago
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everything horrible but at least my id photo looks great
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screampied · 3 months ago
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☆ cw. fem! reader, college au, first lesson, dumbification, praise, he's so nerdy, squırting, unprotected, mdni.
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nerd! nanami who ends up teaching you a few ‘fundamentals’ of squirting after you end up gushing out by accident.
“oh, my,” he’d huskily croon, taking a short glance at your body that’s laid flat on his timber desk. mousy eyes zero up ‘n down your entire frame before he groans, feeling your legs snake around his slim torso. after another hourly long session of cramming your brain with pounds of boring information, you’d probably forget by the next day, you told nanami that you wanted to try out ‘penetration.’ and now, that came with you gushing straight out with his meaty shaft buried snugly deep inside of you. he grows quiet, smacking his lips as he feels your slobbering cunt dripping wetly like a running never-ending faucet. it’s almost adorable with the way your face scrunches up and you’re clawing at the buckle of his drooping belt with shaky hands. “we haven’t gone over that area yet, sweetheart,” and you’re moaning, feeling your back tickle against the scattered piles of marked papers that laid directly underneath you. “ah, ah. don’t close ‘em,” he purrs, staring as your stick-glossed quavery legs try to snap themselves shut. “let me examine the wet problem a bit closer.”
“w- was that supposed to happen?” you breathe through rushed pants, frantically chewing on your bottom lip as you watch him pull out. he’s slow, feeling your slight muscles tense and spasm as you drenched the entirety of his stilled dick with molasses of your webby slick. “f- fuck,” you whimper, and nanami’s pressing a pointed thumb down against the pearly top part of your tender clit. gradually, he’s swirling a plethora of exaggerated shapes alllll around your tender entrance, lowering his head once his turgid cock’s fully out of you.
with a placid hum, nanami nods. “don’t fret, sweet thing. it’s normal,” and you prepare a deep, heavy breath as you try to peek down, watching nanami re-adjust his clear-framed glasses. “but, do you think you can do that again? i’m . . having a bit of trouble with my vision,” and he softly presses a chaste kiss against your cunt. shortly after, a slimy dewy web of stringy juices merrily glues against his lips. “i believe if my hypothesis is correct . . if ‘m closer like thiiiis,” and you moan, feeling the cold lenses of his glasses press right up against your puffed folds. “you’ll help me solve just how much of a wet girl you can get for me this time.”
openly, nanami eyes at your sopping pussy that’s just pouring from all areas with so many dewdrops of slick. a shimmery stream of your syrupy arousal cascades down the slot of your entrance and oh- it’s so pretty. at least to him.
if you squinted enough, you could see the obscene mirroring reflection of the shiny glossed view that rests between your legs from the clear lenses of his glasses. “clitoral glands,” he starts to ramble, rubbing a thumb near the top bulb-shaped part of your twitching heat. “clitoral body,” and you moan, feeling him swerve his digit down lower. “but let’s skip to . . . her,” nanami coos huskily, and you gasp once his round thumb plugs itself inside you after just a few loose inches. you swallowed that single digit right up oh-so blissfully.
like a hidden trick of a magician—his finger disappears inside of your cunt, and it presses against a particular small texture right above your lower opening. “. . that pretty urethra of yours.”
there - that’s where you felt the exact pressure of yourself gushing out, creaming down his cock with such a vivid risqué spray.
you’re still getting over it as your jaw dangles open—mouth cutely wholly ajar and all. as nanami continues to toy with your slobbering clit, he silently grumbles whatever extra clitoris facts underneath his breath. a single finger that was tucked inside of your gummy orifice gradually transitions into two, and you let off the sweetest moan that rang against his ears.
“such a pretty pussy from an even prettier girl,” and his words smokily deepen as he loudly ‘pops!’ both fingers out of your drenched slit. it’s all puffy now, drooling from each slippery flap. nanami sits up before re-aligning his milky-covered tip against your sobbing cunt.. “mini pop quiz,” he grumbles, letting off a deep sigh once his flushed crownhead languidly slides its way between the split of your folds. you’re laid back against the desk with a pout twisting across both sides of your lips.
pop… quiz?
nanami adjusts his crooked glasses by shoving them slightly back with a middle finger before humming. “riddle me this,” and a sweet moan drags its way past your throat once he’s smearing his bulbous tip across your sticky entrance.
left-to-right and it’s hypnotic. “what is the majorly important gland of the clit that helps lubricate the vagina properly?” and nanami presses a large hand on your tummy, simpering at the cute silence for an answer. with a snicker, he tilts his head at your quirked brow. “oh- c’mon. this is easy, we talked about this two days ago.”
“t . . the um-” you stammer, the throbbing of your clit increasing with each delicious second that passed. with your mind joggling its empty memory, you inhale a moan that was desperately trying to escape from your spit-stained lips. “the clitoral glands?”
“close, but no, dumb girl,” and with a smack, nanami whacks his swollen tip against the front of your weeping pussy. you finally release that moan you were holding onto with heave after heave puffing out your chest. “try again. this time, actually use that brain for me, yeah?”
you pout, and after about four seconds you left off a whiny grump. “is it . . the skene’s glands?”
“good girl,” and you let off a needy mewl once he rubs a palm against your pussy. his personal way of praising you without words, even after calling you a ‘good girl.’
it’s a soft, enticing rub that smears the entirety of your slick around his entire palm, coating it right away.
you’re so wet - pathetically drenched that you stick your candied juices all over the prints of his hand.
“it’s very important that you know about the skene’s glands. just like how important it is for me to teach you how soaked you are,” and you don’t even realize it, but the second he spanks against your cunt once more with his palm, you’re squirting . . again.
it’s a thick shiny geyser that ends up spurting out of you with a loud pssssh! and your toes curled in ecstatic rapture. you’re whining at how sudden and abrupt it was, and nanami just shakes his head with a wry smile. a hand maneuvers in a circular rotation against your pussy as you finish your three-second monumental high. “f- fuuuck, fuck!” you whimper out the same colorful syllables through your lips as your eyelids droop.
as you’re panting, still feeling the scattered bundles of paper rub and prick against the back of your skin, you eye nanami through murky peripherals. pretty ‘n glossed-eyed, you let off a shaky puff before moaning. “did . . did i pass?”
“not quite,” nanami takes his glasses off. they were still a bit soaked from earlier, a bit of your own droplets of literal juices fogging the lenses before he gave it a sweet lick. filthy. nanami squints at your twitching body before slithering a fat thumb down your tender, convulsing pussy for the nth and last time. “think we still have more basics to go over,” and he positions his head right back down between the eagle-spread valley of your legs, whistling riiiight between your driveling, puffy slit.
“besides,” and you whine once he gives your cunt its final, sloppy spank. “my only criticism— is that, we could work on that squirt velocity a little bit more,” and he pats your cunt before staring straight at your pulsating entrance, hungrily licking his lips.
“i wouldn’t mind training her, heh.”
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loverboybrightsideghost · 4 months ago
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computer define underdog
#bluebird.txt#google search how to explode my brain with hammers to reset into a functional normal person#how fucking hadd is it to be perfect it's not that hard. you just have to do everything!#but you can never do everything. sometimes you can't even do one fucking thing.#and time moves forward so quickly. go back i didn't do it right. i need to try again. i can be perfect this time i promise.#and i can't but i can and then i can't again but i can't but i can't BUT ITS NOT THAT HARD#HOW HARD COULD IT POSISBLY FUCKING BE!!!!!!#just do it. it's not hard you can just od it. if's not rhat hRd.#JUST FUCKING DO IT#but you can't. even though it's so fucking easy. look at everyone around you doing it and they don't give half as many shits as you do#you're fighting for your fucking life tryi to come out on top and everyone's on too sipping their drinks complaining that it's a little hot#today#what i would give to feel like it was easy. what i constantly give that never feels like enough#but i will say#one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me#was my professor telling me ghat a grad student told her they wished they'd been like me when they were younger#and another two grad students just last week going out of their ways to tell me i did a good job#when that 'good job' felt so shitty i went to the bathroom to suck in my tears bc my day still wasn't fucking over#life is never over it just keeps going and you get up and you get up and you keep going and it's hard and annoying and i'll never be perfec#and i don't think i'll ever- apart from those brief glimpses people give me of what they truly think- ever see myself. i can only ever see#the mirror#or the inside of my eyes#but i'll never see myself as i am#so maybe i don't have to freak oht?#maybe i should just sleep#time to go listen to vienna and cry more maybe#i'm fine. i'm just tired and lazy and tirada en mi cama and can't reach my journal from here. el oh el.#save me help me. i want to feel peace. i can't wait to be older. i can't wait to find my way.#please.
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