#infected muir | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

death---dealer · 7 months ago

Text

So Far From Home. ( Caesar x Human!Reader Oneshot. )

My brain after watching Dawn: I'm in a glass case of emotion

Title: So Far From Home. Fandom: ( Dawn of the ) Planet of the Apes. Rating: T ( Mentions of injury, blood, death. ) Pairing: Heavily Implied - Caesar x Human! Reader. Words: 4.2K+ Summary: You had been with the Apes now for a year. Koba has sparked the rebellion, many Apes believing Caesar to be dead. He wasn't, and in one moment of vulnerability, he opens up to you about his past.

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●・

Ellie had told you to not worry about the shallowness of his breathing, it was normal considering the extent of the damage the bullet did to his shoulder, the nature of infection slowly coming to terms along his body that occasionally trembled as if he were cold. Tightly knitting yourself into a ball on the floor next to the Ape King, you found that plausible. You were incredibly cold, your extremities felt like they were going to break into small pieces, they felt brittle. It was the rainy season once again and the dampness of the jacket you were wearing was doing nothing to help your situation as your eyes rested on the Ape next to you.

Even injured and in the throes of unconsciousness, he didn't lose the roughness of his brows. Always so intimidating and you longed to place your fingers against it to see if it would selfishly soften against your touch. Your fingers flickered at the thought as you brought your face down and kissed your forearm gently, secluding the lower half of your face behind your knees so your eyes were only visible as you kept watch.

The rise and then slow fall of his chest as Caesar was propped against the arm of the couch, accompanied by a pillow for comfort was rhythmic but there were a few times where it appeared he stopped breathing and panic would wash down you before you remembered what Ellie had told you. You tried to say it again and again. His breathing was going to be shallow, maybe even stagnant at points as his body was trying to heal itself with the very minimal use of antibiotics that Ellie had available in her satchel that Malcolm had to sneak into the Colony to acquire. He was injured beyond belief, especially for an Ape, and after laying in a shocked state on the floor of the Muir Woods in complete and drenched rain, silence and bitter chill, it was remarkably brutal when you had stumbled upon him.

The cry you left out, pushing right past Alexander, your knees skidding against the ground to the point where your cargo pants ripped, as you wanted to grasp at him immediately but you were pulled back by Malcolm once it was seen by him and Ellie that Caesar was heavily injured, cusping at the brink of death.

The stagger he had as you, Malcolm and Alexander pulled him to his feet, his head lulling towards your own and resting against the side as you held a good portion of his weight, trailing through the woods to the Land Cruiser and placing him in the back gently. His words… always so entrancing to you telling what actually happened. Koba, you had a feeling, was behind it and it all became vividly known once Caesar corrected Ellie who had made the assumption that the rebellion was caused by Humans. You looked at your hands pensively for a moment, uncoiling yourself from your crouched state. It was like you could still see his blood lingering on your digits and it made you uncomfortable to think about.

It was always a thought that the Humans, at least the three you had gotten to know alongside Caesar, would find your attachment to him unnatural. Untethered and inhuman. It was a tightrope you walked on after they had seen a Human amongst the Apes, but you had explained the situation rather precariously through the time you spent helping them with the dam. Never mates, you were explicit in that despite the underlying want to get there, but you owed Caesar your life for offering you refuge when you were found, starved to death. It was true, what some people said; if the Flu did not kill you, your ability to survive on basic necessities was going to become the forefront on whether or not you could stave death off. They held judgment though when you talked about it, and for that, you were forever grateful. It came to a mutual agreement of ‘you need to do what you need to do to survive in these times’ and it was very seldom brought up again.

You thought that you were going to need to explain your visceral response to seeing Caesar getting shot, to seeing him fall off the cliff edge, let alone the reaction seen in front of them all when you found his shell-shocked body but they never brought it up, even when you crawled into the back with Ellie as she worked nimbly to help the bleeding, your hands coming to grasp at Caesar’s head and hold it tenderly. It was hard to ignore the fact that he let you touch him so intimately, so closely and the flickering of your eyes between his own gaze told Ellie what she needed to know. But once again, never brought up again and you were once again, grateful to not have to dive into the aspects of the relationship you had with the King of Apes.

It… didn't seem all that comfortable to you as you looked at him, how his body was laying, but you supposed having been through what he just went through, anything but the cold floor of the woods would be better. You knew you were sitting in a small pile of mud from Blue Eyes’ feet standing here previously and he had just departed about fifteen minutes ago to rally those who still supported Caesar, as instructed by Caesar who had a great moment of lucidity before he tumbled into another dreamless fit of sleep. You were left to watch him - by choice, not by force. On the other side of the living room, you figured it might have been a dining room at one time, laid Ellie, Malcolm and Alexander, wound against each other with their blankets. You were envious of that - the warmth they must have felt as you let your eyes fall down to the wound on Caesar’s muscular chest.

It was hard to see in the dim light that was seeping in through the window and the shallow light of a broken lamp in the corner. His fur was so dark that the blood was ultimately undetectable unless you were really looking for it, some of his fur clumping together with the wetness. It was not as bad as it had been, at least you had that small dabble of optimism to cling to as you surveyed your surroundings for the first time, having been previously occupied helping Ellie with Caesar.

You had not been inside of an actual house in years, you tried to focus on something else other than Caesar’s breathing. Something that would take the edge off as you were now waiting for Blue Eyes to return with the rally. Across the bay, they were heavily rummaged through after the Flu wiped out most of the population, and in a bid to not get shot by another Human, you strayed away from them and focused your attention more on abandoned camps and Colonies that were spread around the area.

Your eyes turned for a second so you could look at the room you were in. The couch Caesar was against was bright orange and set into a frame of dark wood, explicitly noticeable given the low light you found yourself wrapped in. Trailing your fingers along the wood, you marveled at how smooth it was under touch and smiled dimly. There were shattered photographs lining along the baseboards, scattered like memories as they fell from the wall onto the ground. Grunting quietly, you lifted your body in an attempt to stave sleep off. It felt like you were trapped outside of your body, outside looking in and your feet trailed you around. There were no evident indications on your first sweep of the room of whose home this was, what kind of life they lived other than an abandoned piano across from where Caesar was laying. He brought you here though, a space of solace as Koba began to wage war on the Colony near the mouth of the Golden Gate Bridge. A place where… He was able to tell Malcolm where to drive like he had just been here the day before. The pictures you had seen decrepit on the floor, surrounded by shards of glass from the picture frame colliding with the ground and dust. You squinted and dropped your body into a squat as you reached for one of the frames.

Picking it up carefully, you shook the glass right out of the frame and dabbled the picture right out of the wood, holding it bare against your fingers. Swiping along it with your middle and pointer finger, the dust cleared away and you studied it intently. Three humans, you smiled at them in the photograph like they were smiling at you and not frozen in the endless vortex of time. Two men, one older, one younger and a female. A melancholic feeling hit your chest when you drifted your fingers over the young man and woman. You traced their faces with a gentle touch, wiping the dust away in the process. It felt like years since you had seen a genuine smile like theirs, like that of the young man in the picture. Since you had seen undiluted love like how the woman looked at him, and pure bond like the older man displayed to who you presumed to be his son. It had been years since you had seen these expressions within Humans, but you were reminded of the Apes.

How closely Caesar held Blue Eyes, brows kissing each other.

How, in rare moments of vulnerability, Caesar told you about Cornelia, about the shortened time they had together.

Your fingers lingered on the woman in the picture.

How you looked at Caesar, with such awe and wonder.

A moment captured for you to look at years later and feel painstakingly yearning. They remained captured in pictures. Forever immortalized until they faded into oblivion.

A shot of electricity went down your spine at the call of your name from a deep baritone, rounded with seeped deep agony. Quickly, you wiped your eyes of their budding tears and moved towards the Ape who had called your name, clutching the picture tightly to your chest. “Caesar.” You gasped out and bent to crouch near him so you were able to look at him eye to eye.

Heart sinking a bit in your chest at the state his face appeared to be in, so tired and forlorn with betrayal, his wrinkles seemed as prominent as ever as the lovely nature of his hazel eyes bore right into yours, reddened around the edges. “Blue Eyes isn’t back yet,” You started, figuring that’s where the conversation was going to go either way. “You--- You should rest,” The voice you were using was nothing more than a whisper, your eyes flickering for a moment to the entry point on his shoulder and then back to meet his gaze. “Ellie said resting was the best thing for you to do---” “Do… not feel... like resting.” Caesar said through gritted teeth and pensively shut his eyes for a few seconds, and when he reopened them, they were fixated on the ceiling above with a sparkle of what you would describe as being familiar like he had been here before. With a wash of air against you, Caesar propped his body up further so he was sitting up rather than laying stagnantly. At least he was able to support his body weight, you thought and inadvertently reached forward to help him, but shook off your attempt once he looked at you again with an intent glance. Shuffling around a bit, you realized that Caesar sat up so you could sit down next to him, giving enough room on the ledge of the couch for you to rest somewhat comfortably against his legs. Resting the picture you had in your hands in your lap, you raised your hand and lightly let your fingertips float above his wound. Never actually making contact with it, but you were so near to him that Caesar’s body tensed in anticipation of you actually making contact. “What… What happened?” “Koba… Started this… I must end it… Before it is too late…” He muttered to you and looked at the photograph in your lap for a few seconds too long, an oddly reminiscent sensation taking hold of the Ape King’s chest and swelling it with the uncomfortable notion that you had deduced where you were before he had the opportunity to tell you himself. But, from your lack of questioning regarding the matter, that did not seem to be the case. Caesar drew a raggedly breath in, squeezing his eyes shut as a splash of fire radiated along his chest, across his entire pectoral region despite the wound being on his left shoulder. It had already begun, the war itself. There was nothing that Caesar could do now to stop it, even Caesar had to know that despite his best efforts to presume that it was not a logical possibility.

Still, he moved, still he preserved and survived, sending his son to gather the troops that were as loyal as ever to their King with a plan and what you hoped to be a successful execution. The support he got from his child, from the Apes who refused to follow Koba into battle, was remarkable, and just seeing the respect he garnered by simply walking into a room always left you breathless. That kind of support that humanity lost throughout the years and it was only peppered amongst the bigger colonies and camps, and no doubt, it was going to get worse once they allied against another enemy. He was in pain, surely, but knowing him, you knew he was going to push past it for the sake of the Apes and their rights to freedom.

“Never wanted… to come back here…” He gestured vaguely, eyes blurring out of focus for a second, moving his uninjured shoulder a bit to bring your attention to the room you were in, “This place…” His voice was hitting in a deeply rich tone, coming straight from his chest and bubbled shamelessly around you. No matter what he said, no matter how it was directed at you, you would always find yourself listening and yearning for more.

“You know this place…?” Of course he did, you thought to yourself. He just said that! Tightening your grip on the photograph in your hands, you clenched your jaw at his meager head nod, the question you had asked was rebudent and did not need a verbal confirmation. “Wh--- Where are we?” “In the city,” He grunted softly, looking at the photograph in your hands again. This time, you caught the minor movement and flipped it over gently so he could see what was actually printed on the other side. Caesar only glanced at it a moment before preemptively moving his eyes to an indirect source on the wall to the left. “A place… from another time…”

He moved next to you again, this time urging you to move as well as his legs hit against your back. You drifted to your feet slowly and watched as he placed his feet onto the ground and hoisted his torso up with a sweeping movement. “Come,” He was suddenly standing, and you went to grab him before he tumbled straight back down. Caesar only held up a hand, telling you to stop and that he was more than capable of moving now. He better have been, knowing where he was going once Blue Eyes returned. “I… will show you…”

Silence hit the two of you like a blanket as he stepped forward, bracing his entire weight on one foot first to see if he was okay to proceed. Nodding to himself, Caesar assessed and began trailing towards the stairs, and upwards. It was obvious from the gait of his walk and how he was holding himself with one arm that the pain was eradicating all his other senses, and yet… He still moved, determined almost. On the landing, your eyes caught focus of the books that were strewn about the built in bookcases lining the wall. All the good material was taken, a few encyclopedias and music books remaining now.

Then, to the right. You had your suspensions, but now? Confidence beamed inside of your head that your intuition was correct, that Caesar had vast knowledge of this home, where to go, where things may have been hidden. In his bloodied state, he gestured you up the ladder towards the attic, and with a contemplative stare at him, his unequivocal, you succumbed and moved upwards, Caesar right behind you.

With a small ‘thud’ of your feet against the wooden floor, you scooted to the side for the Ape behind you to come to rest his feet on the floor. Rest, he did not though. There was a wash of familiarity on his face as he looked into the room, bending his head down enough to get in from under the beam that had fallen from the ceiling. He had resumed his regular movements, broad, intimidating, but his expression was beyond that and seeped at you intense vulnerability.

Swallowing gently, you followed him, almost like you were in a dream like state. This… place… You looked at the gymnastic-like set up, chains holding onto loops, one chain dangling, holding a weight at the end, only a few inches off the ground that Caesar grasped into his powerful hand and shifted to the left and watched it in a hypnotic state as it moved back towards him. There was a chess-board, or at least, that’s what it appeared to be as you moved towards the bed, lightly placing your fingers against a pawn as Caesar’s attention was captured by a cam-corder sitting on the desk. Almost hesitantly, he picked it up and analyzed it as he so often did with human technology in his possession.

“This was,” The screen flashed blue against his already stark features, illuminating it just enough for you to see the flood of what had to be tears right under his eyes. “My home.”

Mouth agape now at that confession, you suddenly had so much to ask but so little came out as he finnicked around the cam-corder, unplugging it with one hand as he moved towards the bed to finally rest. Much needed, he thought to himself and shut his eyes as his body weight fell onto the mattress. Rounding the iron framing of the twin bed, you felt heavy next to him. His… home? This place? This house? You knew that he lived with Humans, that he had been raised by them, but you had no idea the extent. In your mind, you could see the photograph ingrained on your eyelids, despite it being tucked away in your back pocket for safe keeping. No reason to keep it, you just felt a pull to.

Caesar, Caesar, look.

At the sound of a human, you instinctively kicked yourself out of your inner thoughts and realized that the Ape had begun playing whatever was recorded on the device he had intense interest in.

Apple.

Good!Fixation was heavy on the small screen as you both watched it. The man… The same one from the photograph in your pocket and… Widening your eyes in shock, seeing the all encompassing scar on his chest, your mouth felt dry all of a sudden when you came to the candance that you were seeing Caesar… Young… incredibly so, he was so small, the innocence that lingered in his gaze as he looked at the Human showing him sign, the reminiscent stare he now had at the screen. It was flooding back, wave after wave, knowing that Chimpanzee’s couldn’t swim and he’d be brutally swept up in them. Home. Gently said.

Home. A bit more sternly.

Home. Adamantly.

You were glad to have a voice to the face.

Yes. He chuckled and that prickled at your ears. The sound of a Human laughing, and it must have evoked something to Caesar as he huffed in response to seeing himself younger, reaching out with one of his arms to grasp at the man. This is your home. Your home.

Good, good… That’s good.

The screen flashed a vibrant blue right as the young Caesar had gone to embrace the man, three small beeps coming to the device. That’s all that was on there. Introspectively, the camera was shut, the screen no longer giving any illumination against Caesar’s face as it rested lightly on the bed beside him.

“Was that…” Your voice came out remarkably quiet and timid, not quite sure if it was appropriate to speak, “That man, was he…?” “A… good man.” You looked at the recorder and then trailed your gaze up Caesar’s body. He wasn’t closing himself off like he often did when you’d bring up the past, about personal details. Your eyes met, and in the soft moonlight that came through the window, you moved towards him, one step… two… And suddenly, you were right in front of him, between the legs he had open for balance as he sat. His eyes rested on your mild collarbone for a few seconds, admiring the gentle nature of your breathing before he shut them and you were no longer able to drown in the color you had come to adore.

“He raised you.” Nothing more than a peep, Caesar reacted to that with semi-tightened shoulders and a curt nod of the head. “What was… his name?” His jaw moved unexpectedly, dancing forwards and backwards in deep contemplation as his teeth gilded against each other. Caesar had known you were going to ask, but he hadn’t expected the video, he hadn’t expected it to be so difficult to answer, to just say a simple name. So difficult to see him again, to hear his voice, to see himself before the Rise, and before he stepped until weighted down power and responsibilities.

He felt so torn; the knowledge that he would not be there in front of you without the downfall of them. The resistance he had all these years not to think about them, not to remember them as individuals, but as a whole. Humans. But you… were human, and you were not a whole to Caesar. You were an individual, he’d consider you an equal in knowledge and understanding, and if he had been thinking in all logical and illogical perspectives, you would be equal in other, more satisfyingly quipped ways.

Maybe, he told himself with a blur of his eyes as he tried to focus on you in front of him, maybe if this ended and he defeated Koba, and if he found a solemn and safe place for the Apes to go to, he’d change that if you were willing to accept.

“Will,” Caesar finally spoke and you felt your breath exhale at that, you hadn’t even noticed you were holding it in. “And… the others,” Unexpectedly, he reached around and tugged the photograph from your back pocket. The fact that he knew it was there shouted at you that he was always paying attention to even the smallest movements, as you had shoved it into your pocket quickly when he stood up earlier. “Caroline,” His thick finger pointed at the woman, then swept to the old man, “Charles.” You looked at them and traced their faces. Will, Caroline and Charles… Caesar’s family before he… Gently, you folded the photograph up as you grasped it from him. He did not protest, but looked up at you with sunken eyes. “I-I’m sorry, I never should have…” “They… were good,” Caesar chided and scooted over for you to sit down next to him. Enjoying the sensation of the bed dipping in as you dropped next to him, he continued in a rumbling voice, quite enough that you wouldn’t wake the others downstairs, “Reason why… I… choose to believe… in the good… in you.” You knew that he was talking in broadened terms, that he did not mean explicitly you. But, it was taken that way, and you figured that Caesar was intuitive to know how his words were going to come across once they fell on your ears. How his glances at you were going to be interpreted. “You miss them.”

That wasn’t a question, it was a fact. An irrefutable one as Caesar drew his gaze into your own, deeper than the ocean and intense that it took the breath right out of your lungs and you felt like you were scrabbling for air. Wrapped up again in silence, you found your eyes lightly dancing between his own, and you were so near, you could smell the irony nature of the blood that was clinging to his fur, feeling his hot breath against his face as his mouth fell open. Caesar didn't feel the need to say anything from that, making his answer evident enough by bringing you into the room he once called his own.

‘I do not dwell on them.’ He signed at you, almost like he was trying to convince himself that he wasn’t telling you a lie, that it was the truth, that he did not dwell, or think about them, late at night by himself. Caesar tilted his head to the side wearily. He couldn’t even bring himself to say it verbally. ‘Pointless,’ your eyes watched his fingers and hands move, ‘To live in the past..’

“Not pointless to forget, though.” Muttering softly, Caesar watched your lips form the words with deep intent. “We… can’t live in the future without remembering our past.”

#caesar #caesar x reader #planet of the apes #pota #planet of the apes x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #emmy writes #kingdom of the planet of the apes #kotpota

190 notes · View notes