#inej knows of course

[isthataraccoon]

headcannon that kaz actually loooooves sad girl music but he’s desperate to try to hide it so if anyone asks he “despises listening to music”

[averrse]

just gonna sit here thinking about the crows playing mario kart

[aroyalpaininthecass]

I fangirl the most over Kaz because he's the most interesting character-wise (to me) but you KNOW if Inej or Tamar were in the room, I'd be so incredibly gay for them

[ruins-and-rewritez]

*Crow conversation overheard on the streets of Ketterdam*

Inej: *shivers* hey Kaz, I'm a little cold do you think you could, you know

Kaz: of course *snaps fingers*

Jesper: *takes off coat and hands it to Inej*

Inej: thanks

Wylan: wait. what if I'm cold too?

Jesper: oh, well then *snaps fingers"

Kaz: *fans fingers out magician-ly, reaches inside coat to pull out, you guessed it, another coat that he hands to Wylan*

Wylan: *visibly confused* thank you? I think?

Inej & Jesper: *clap enthusiastically*

Kaz:*bows dramatically*

*Meanwhile trailing a little ways behind them*

Nina: *snorts* lol can you believe those dorks

Matthias: HoLy sHiT Nina did you see that!?!?! He pulled that coat out of NOWHERE!!!

[mediocrgatsby]

Inej Ghafa is so real, man.

She cared about Kaz, of course, but she had zero interest in trying to “fix” him, you know? She was rightfully thankful for buying her out from Tante Heleen (for good reason), but she was never there to be his savior.

She noticed he had issues and offered her advice/perspectives, but let him come to his own conclusions. His problems weren’t her main focus.

All she wanted to do was find her family again, and whether or not she gained a boyfriend along the way was purely a bonus.

[martinakl13]

I think a lot about what the way they talk can tell us about our Crows. For example, interjections.

Unsurprisingly, Nina and Inej use all variants with Saints (Saints; All Saints; For Saints' sake) and Wylan uses Ghezen (Ghezen; Ghezen and his works). Matthias of course has Djel (Djel; Sweet Djel; For Djel's sake).

Now comes the interesting part. Jesper uses Saints, many times in his own creative way (Saints; All Saints; For Saints' sake; All Saints and your Aunt Eve; All Saints and the donkeys they rode in on) and (!) he also uses Ghezen (Sweet Ghezen). It's quite obvious that Jesper adopted Ghezen during his long stay in Ketterdam, but since he uses Saints much more often, it seems like something he got from his father as a child, since Colm also said many similar things in CK (All Saints; Saints; For Saints' sake). Do they recognise Saints on Wandering Isle? Probably.

And then there's Kaz. What do you think of his interjections? Have you noticed or thought about it? Kaz out loud never used any! Not Ghezen, not Saints, not Djel. There is only one exception where the interjection was part of his inner monologue.

Chapter 3, SoC:

"As Kaz headed down one of the little canals that would take him past Fifth Harbour, he realised he felt – Saints, he almost felt hopeful."

Oh yes, Kaz in his head when no one could hear him automatically used Saints and it wasn't because he wanted to mentally tease Inej about her Saints. I think the moment he felt almost hope, something from his past slipped out of the dark parts of his mind where he buried everything related to his family. Do we know for sure that Ghezen is the only god the Kerch people know? What about people from the countryside? Do they honour the god of industry, commerce and trade, or someone else who is closer to them? Who remembers where Marya Hendriks was kept? The Church of Saint Hilde. In addition, we also know two Kerch saints, Sankta Margaretha and Sankt Emerens. Coincidence? I don't think so.

[evellynssocbrainrot]

Kaz: I have a job for you. I need you to hitch a ride east to the Little Palace

The Conductor: Hmmm

Kaz: Make friends

The Conductor: But that's the hardest job

Kaz: You managed to win us over, didn't you?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Inej: A bit slow on the draw there

Kaz: Or just in time

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alina: Will you still be trying to kidnap me?

Jesper: Of course, not

Kaz: Have you found religion too?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nina: How do you think it tastes?

Kaz: Like tea

Nina: Yes, but is it floral? Bitter? Mildly sweet with notes of buttery—

Kaz: Warm. And wet

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wesper: *kissing*

Kaz: Everyone's lost their mind

Also Kaz a few minutes later: *Makes heart eyes at Inej*

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kaz entering the battlefield: *mutters* What nightmare have we gotten ourselves into?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nikolai: Didn't know you were patriots

Kaz: *fixes him with bitch glare* Well if we die we don't get paid

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Who said all his humor and charmingness was gone? At least there were some traces of it, and they are wonderful.

[olskuvallanpoe]

something that I can never forget about soc is inej and the scene with the mallet, how it breaks her and reduces her to her most vulnerable form as she realizes that no one, not even kaz, would come to save her if van eck had her legs broken. because in ketterdam she only had the illusion of being worth anything more than her body and what it could do to benefit others, whether that be sex work or her ability to climb. of course, we later find out that kaz would have come for her anyway no matter what, and he tells her this, but that moment when she was so sure of the opposite and realized how afraid she was just STICKS with you, ya know?

[barrel-crow-n]

I was just thinking about how Kaz built this heartless persona for himself and how everyone falls for it to varying degrees: He's widely regarded as a monster and as "not made right"; Inej thought he wouldn't come for her and that once she was useless to him that he would discard her; Jesper never knows where exactly he stands with him; Nina "doesn't want to know what dark hole he crawled out of"; Wylan calls him "the most vengeful creature he had ever met"; Matthias believes he's a demon. But in reality his true motives for most things are love and grief and loss of family.

Kaz only wanted money for revenge, he didn't want to try and build a meaningful connection with Imogen because she would distract him from pursuing his vengeance, he only mentions how Pekka conned them out of money to explain how they ended up on the streets, how it was never about the money but about Jordie.

Kaz says that he and Jordie were such easy marks because they missed their dad. Kaz's biggest gripe was not just the loss of Jordie but the illusion of a home and family that Pekka had snatched away before the plague snatched Jordie away too.

It all always leads back to Jordie and his loss and avenging him and about never wanting to be that vulnerable again. Kaz created Kaz Brekker to protect himself, to hide his vulnerabilities. His grief is hidden behind a fake name, his naivety is hidden behind violence, his touch aversion is hidden behind the gloves.

Kaz pushes people away because he fears what will happen if he lets them in. He gets mean when he's vulnerable to hide said vulnerability. He did it in the clocktower, he did it in the bathroom. After he accidently calls Jesper Jordie he lashes out verbally and physically, when Inej asks about Jordie and Pekka's involvement in what happened he recounts how he tortured someone. In both incidents it's again Jordie that he's hiding, that is causing him to be vulnerable. It always leads back to Jordie. Even with Van Eck! He's again angry that he fell for what he fell for before, the thing that made him lose Jordie making him temporarily lose Inej.

In both the Jesper and Inej examples he hides behind violence - by brawling with Jesper and recounting a time when he tortured a young boy. He does this because he loves Inej and Jesper, and it scares him, and he doesn't know what to do with it. Because everyone he's ever loved has died in horrible ways (his father was torn apart by a plough, his brother died from a horrible sickness) and he doesn't want to go through it again - especially since he still hasn't let go of Jordie, although it has been eight years.

Kaz is a person who loves so deeply. Who is mainly motivated by love. Who, when Pekka asks him what he wants, replies "Bring my brother back from the dead." because he never cared about money, nor power, nor anything else. He just wants his brother. All he wanted this whole time is his brother, and since he no longer has him he lashes out, all hurt and grieving. He's hurting so badly that he destroys everyone even mildly involved in what took Jordie away from him. But he only did that because he loved Jordie. It wasn't revenge for the sake of money it was for the sake of love. It was for the sake of Jordie.

Kaz loved Jordie so much that he became the most feared person in Ketterdam, that he took down the King of the Barrel and a merchant from one of the oldest families in Ketterdam (because even if his gripe with Van Eck was unrelated, it's because of Jordie's loss that life snowballed into their interactions and the consequent betrayal and destruction of everything Van Eck held dear). Kaz loved Jordie so much that it changed the entire course of the narrative.

If not for Jordie's loss the heist wouldn't of happened, all of the Crows lives would've been different, some of the Crows would even most likely be dead, and this extends even further to much more major things. The King of Ravka managed to steal the titanium because of his help which will aid Ravka in wars, the path to jurda parem is no longer in the hands of the Fjerdans and a cure is being safely developed in Ravka because Kaz rescued Kuwei, Wylan took over the Van Eck empire because Kaz tampered with Van Eck's will and papers, Inej is working on taking down the slave trade which is only possible because Kaz freed her from her indenture, Nina became the queen of Fjerda because of things that Kaz started (her joining the Dregs instead of being indebted to the Dime Lions, him freeing Matthias, him organising the heist, Matthias dying in the aftermath, her going to Fjerda to bury Matthias and the results which ended up being her and her new lover on the Fjerdan throne trying to fix prejudice against grisha, and women, in the most conservative country).

All of it leads back to Kaz. And he did all of it for Jordie. It all always leads back to Jordie. Jordie and Kaz's love for his big brother and his grief over having him snatched away from him.

[insignificant457]

There is a nebulous jordie lives au which lives entirely in my head in which jordie recovers from the plague while Kaz is still sick. He gets up to find them food and water only to return and discover Kaz is nowhere to be found. Still recovering from the fever, he searches the barrel for days before he finally sees Kaz wandering down the staves in a sort of fugue state, soaked to the bone with a haunted look in his eyes.

Kaz won’t tell him what happened, but jordie knows it’s bad because his baby brother flinches every time he touches him, and soon enough he’s started wearing gloves, even in the height of summer.

Soon, they discover kazs gift for cards, and it keeps them fed and clothed, if not much else. Kaz is angry at jordie for losing the money, refuses to let him make any decisions. Jordie is beholden to his angry traumatized little brother because he can’t deny that he failed them the first time around.

Kaz is offered a place in his pick of the gangs, but the only one willing to take both him and his tag along older brother is the dregs. Jordie dies a little bit inside when they join up, when they take the tattoo side by side, but he’s not sure they’ll survive another winter on the streets.

And the plot of SoC generally goes on from there. Jordie tags along on the ice court, he and Jesper test kazs patience at every turn, he’s constantly offering unsolicited annoying older brother advice about Inej.

This lends itself to a really interesting exploration of Kaz and jordies relationship, what holds brothers together in the face of incredible trauma, the skewed power dynamic of Kaz becoming the breadwinner for them both at the age of nine, etc etc. But mostly, this au is a vessel for the sailing of the ultimate crack ship, which is of course, jordie/alys Van Eck.

[bonesmithsstuff]

Kaz Brekker - Wicked Game

Warnings: Canon typical violence, blood, references to abuse and scars. Angst.

Masterlist |

── .✦

" I found peace in your violence. Can't show me, there's no point in trying. I'm at one, and I've been quiet for too long. "

«Card.» The woman sitting at the gaming table flashed an innocent smile at the man in front of her, who was busy overseeing the club’s clientele. The count in her mind hadn’t faltered for even a second, letting her know exactly when to raise the stakes or when to pull back. She kept repeating, feigning surprise: "Oh, did I really win?" "I must be so lucky tonight.”. All accompanied by a light, carefree giggle that gave her just the right air of naïveté to be believable in a place like that.

The first time she had set foot in The Crow Club, she had certainly not gone unnoticed. Her arrival in Ketterdam had been anything but subtle. But her goal was simple: gather enough money to survive, to carve out a better life than the one she had led since birth.

That first time, Brekker had noticed her immediately, his gaze tracking her until she sat down at a table, ordering something to drink. His first thought had been about the dress she was wearing —high quality but so worn that he could tell she was trying to appear as something she was not: rich. His second thought had been about her face, her beauty. He had watched her wrinkle her nose in displeasure every time a man got too close to her during the game, and for some reason, Kaz had wanted to smile at that expression of disgust —the same one he often wore.

That evening, it was only after some time that the crow realized the real reason why she was so focused on the game rather than her surroundings: she was counting the cards.

A sadistic smile had curled his lips at that realization, the kind that could send a shiver down anyone’s spine —the contrast between his sharp gaze and his full lips making the whole thing unsettling. Kaz had understood: that woman knew exactly what she was doing. She had managed to distract even him from his business, but from that moment on, he hadn’t taken his eyes off of her.

And then, more than a year later, that memory surfaced in Brekker’s mind as he watched the woman sitting in the same spot where he had first seen her. The only difference was that, now, she worked under his command. It had all started with a contract —Kaz had allowed her to keep the money she had won, which was no small amount, in exchange for her to work for him until her debt was repaid. And yet, even after the money was settled, neither of them had broken the unspoken tie.

She liked that life. It made her feel free in a way she never had before meeting the Crows. And the Crows, in turn, liked having her around. She and Jesper got along better than anyone else, and Inej enjoyed having another woman to share thoughts with, someone who could understand and listen to her.

Still, none of them had ever managed to get too close to her. They had become friends, yes, but they all had the impression that some parts of her life would remain in the dark, forever.

More than anyone, Kaz wanted to know. He was curious about the way she flinched at the slightest touch, the way she recoiled when someone brushed her hand, how her face turned pale when someone hugged her or touched her back and shoulders. She would dig her nails into her palms, and a strange veil of fear would cloud her usually relaxed and cheerful expression.

Of course, the Crow had done his research, and found nothing relevant. Nothing that could give him a clue as to what haunted her. It infuriated him more than he would ever admit.

His doubts found their answer that night.

The Crow Club seemed as lively as ever. T/N sat in her usual spot, with that same innocent smile, and just asked for a card. Kaz’s watchful eyes never strayed far from her, keeping her within his sight. And every time she looked at a man, batting her lashes a few too many times, his grip on his cane tightened ever so slightly.

He had closed his eyes for a moment, hearing the door of the club slam open as he ran a gloved hand over his face. He was obsessed with that woman. So much that, lately, his nightmares had been replaced by others —visions of T/N looking at him with that knowing, teasing gaze, visions of her lips brushing against his, full and soft.

The very thought of touching someone repulsed and terrified him, but he couldn't help wondering if her skin was as soft as it looked.

Those thoughts had become more frequent, and the way he occasionally caught her staring at him didn’t help. He would meet her gaze, and she would always smile at him, even when his face remained its usual mask of sarcasm and impassivity. His heart would quicken, involuntarily, and all he wanted was for her to press her hand to his chest—to feel that beneath all the layers of fear and insecurity, to know that something was there. Something that could warm her.

When he reopened his eyes, though, she was gone.

Dirtyhands immediately scanned the room, missing a breath when he realized she was nowhere to be seen —not at the bar, not in the washroom. He moved swiftly toward Jesper, his cane striking the floor sharply.

«Where is T/N?»

Jesper turned toward him, frowning. «Weren’t you the one keeping an eye on her?» There was a hint of amusement in his voice, but Brekker didn’t catch it —too focused on the fact that a member of his crew was missing.

Jesper had seen it —the way Kaz looked at her, the way he followed her, how she was no longer just an investment but something else entirely.

«Looking for your pretty friend?» The voice from behind the bar caught their attention. «A man dragged her outside just a moment ago.»

Kaz was out the door instantly, Jesper and Inej right behind him.

They heard laughter. Then a muffled sound. They rounded the corner of the club, stepping into the alleyway.

«Are we interrupting?» Kaz’s voice was razor-sharp, making the four men in the alley turn around.

Than he saw her. T/N, slumped on the ground, clutching her torn dress with one hand and her bleeding leg with the other.

“Blood." “T/N." Those were the only words swirling in his mind.

Kaz’s gaze swept over the men, and he wasted no time before swinging his cane, striking the closest one across his face. Jesper had his guns drawn, but no one even had the chance to move. Kaz cut them down, one by one, ignoring Inej’s repeated calls for him to stop. The only thing he could hear was the sound of those men's bones breaking, snapping under his wrath. And he relished it.

Kaz only halted when all four men lay at his feet, groaning, blood staining their clothes —and his.

Satisfied, he smiled darkly.

«Take them to the docks. Throw them on the first ship out.» He turned to Jesper and Inej, who nodded. Then, to the men at his feet. Whether they were alive or dead, he didn't care at that moment. Still, he spared a few words of warning —he needed to send a clear message: «Whatever you came here for, don’t come back. Next time, I won’t be so gentle.»

He turned his back on them, moving toward T/N. She had watched the whole thing, eyes locked on his face as he took pleasure in spilling their blood. And yet, as he knelt in front of her, she sighed in relief.

«Kaz...» She whispered.

His name. From her lips. For the first time, it didn’t sound like a curse. It didn’t sound like the mask he had built to survive Ketterdam. It sounded like a melody. A soft, soothing note reverberating in his chest, making his heart nearly burst.

Dirtyhands. Bastard of the Barrel. The Devil himself.

Yet, there he was —kneeling before her, face smeared with blood, intoxicated by her scent, wondering if someone like him could ever deserve someone like her. Someone brave. Loyal. Strong. Someone who was everything he was not.

T/N’s breath condensed in the cold air as she stared at the man in front of her, her eyes glossy, cheeks flushed, and perfect lips marred by a small, bleeding cut.

«Can you walk?»

Unsure, she nodded, leaning forward to press a hand against the damp asphalt as she pushed herself to her feet. The wound on her thigh was still dripping red, but thankfully, despite the pain, it wasn’t deep enough to have severed an artery.

She trembled as she stood, a shiver running down her spine from the cold seeping into the exposed skin left bare by her torn dress. Kaz dared to lower his gaze for a moment, his jaw clenching at the thought of what had nearly happened in that alley. His grip on his bloody cane tightened when he noticed the numerous scars marking her skin. Without a word, he swiftly removed the black jacket embroidered with red accents that he had worn that evening, careful not to touch her as he draped it over her shoulders —both to warm her and to hide those white lines from his sight.

He watched her intently, curious about her reaction to the gesture. He wanted an explanation. Answers. And tonight, she wouldn’t escape without giving them to him.

T/N bit her lip, lowering her gaze to the street as her cheeks reddened under the dim alley light. She let herself be enveloped by his scent. It was strong, sharp, and the warmth of his jacket settled over her instantly as they made their way toward the entrance of The Crow Club, heading upstairs to her room. Kaz’s presence behind her reassured her —and at the same time, it unsettled her, making her nervous, uncertain. Contrary to what she had expected, he followed her inside, shutting the door behind him with a heavy thud.

A weight settled in her chest as she perched on the edge of the mattress, trying to ease the pressure on her injured leg. She didn’t dare look up as she reached for a clean cloth, dipping it into the bowl of water beside her bed. Slowly, she lifted the hem of her dress, exposing her thigh, exhaling shakily before she began dabbing at the wound, trying to clean away the blood. She hissed at the sting, and that was when he cleared his throat: «What did those men want from you?» His voice was firm, steady. He stood in front of her, leaning slightly on his cane.

«I don’t know.»

T/N squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, gripping the cloth tighter. She pushed herself up, moving clumsily toward the washroom to grab some bandages, a sudden wave of dizziness nearly sent her collapsing to the floor. Kaz caught her in time, his gloved hand tightening around her arm. He released her the moment she steadied herself.

«Stay still.» He brushed past her, his cane tapping against the floor as he retrieved the bandages himself. «Sit.» His voice left no room for argument as he gestured toward the desk she was already leaning against for support. She obeyed, watching him place his cane against the chair before stepping closer.

He stopped just short of letting his knees brush against hers, lowering himself slightly so he was eye-level with her. He let out a heavy sigh, his jaw tensing before he asked,

«May I?»

«Yes.» She didn’t hesitate.

Kaz’s gaze flickered to his hands as they moved to roll her dress up, carefully, inch by inch, exposing the wound on her thigh. She held her breath, and when his eyes met hers from below, she felt compelled to say something. She knew how hard this was for him. How much effort it took just to be this close.

«You don’t have to—»

«I know.» He cut her off sharply, inhaling deeply to steady his heartbeat. «I want to.»

Dipping the cloth into the water again, he added some disinfectant before pressing it against her skin —always through the layer of his gloves, as if the leather was the only thing keeping him grounded. T/N leaned her head back against the wall, trying to ignore the sting.

«So?»

His voice pulled her back. She lowered her gaze, watching a few strands of his dark hair fall over his forehead.

«So what?»

He shot her a warning look.

«What did those men want from you?»

This time, his voice left no room for anything but the truth. An angering Kaz Brekker was something to be considered carefully, even for her.

«They belong to my father.» She whispered, curling into the warmth of his jacket still draped over her shoulders. She averted her eyes to the floor, bringing a hand up to cover her face for a moment, knowing full well that he wouldn’t be satisfied with just that. «I came to Ketterdam to escape him. I planned to make enough money to get to the continent. Os Kervo, or maybe Novo-Kribirsk.»

«Then why did you stay?»

She barely needed to answer. When Kaz looked at her, really looked at her, he understood. Her eyes, large and glistening with unshed emotions, were filled with something he had lost long ago. Hope. But the way she was looking at him, it made him want to be something more. Something better.

«For you.» She murmured, a faint smile touching her lips. «For Inej. For Jesper. For the Crows. Because for the first time in my life, I wasn’t afraid. For the first time, I laughed, I felt something. I realized that not every touch is meant to hurt. That life is more than just survival.»

Kaz finished disinfecting the cut and placed a sterile pad over it. He gestured for her to lift her leg slightly so he could secure the bandage, tying it firmly in place.

«The scars?»

He asked the question despite already knowing the answer. But he needed to hear it. He needed to be sure. Sure that when the time came, he would strike down the right man.

«Also my father.» She confirmed.

«I want to see them.»

T/N sighed.

She had already revealed so much. Too much. But she was too exhausted to resist. She let herself slide forward as Kaz stepped back, giving her space. Shrugging off his jacket, she draped it over the desk before reaching for the neckline of her dress. She gripped the fabric tightly, turning her back to him as she pulled the material down as best as she could. The scars were there, on her back, where no one could see them unless she allowed it. Because her father had known appearances were important. Almost as important as control.

Kaz’s breath fanned over her bare skin, sending a light shiver through her.

«Are you cold?»

A smile ghosted her lips.

«No.» It’s you, she wanted to add.

She turned her head just slightly, just enough to see him. She watched as he leaned in, his gloved fingers barely skimming over the white lines etched into her skin.

«I’ll kill him.» Kaz’s voice was deadly quiet. «I’ll kill anyone who comes looking for you. Anyone who tries to take you away.»

A pause. And then something warm, something soft, something unfamiliar pressed against her skin. His lips. A silent promise, sealed in a way he had never done before.

T/N’s breath hitched as she felt him move, felt the warmth of his mouth trail upward. His hands braced against the desk on either side of hers, his presence towering over her without even touching.

Another kiss. This time, at the curve of her neck. Her eyes widened, her heart racing so fast that in the silence, she was sure he could hear it.

«I’ll kill anyone who tries to take you away from me.»

He whispered against her ear, and she shivered —not from the cold, but from him. When she turned to face him, he was already gone. The only thing he left behind was his black jacket, still resting on her desk.

He never took it back.

── .✦

Hello!!!!!!

This is my first fic :), English is not my first language so please be kind. Every suggestion is welcome! All rights are reserved. Credits to the real artist of the fan art.

Let me know what do you think! I want feedbacks pls.

[19burstraat]

I think about Kaz's mother a lot... not the Ketterdam harbour lmao, his actual mother. Wylan asks if he remembers her, and gets slapped with the infamous 'my mother is Ketterdam' response, but bc the interaction isn't from Kaz's POV, we're also blocked from an honest response.

Kaz seems to hold Jordie in much higher importance than his parents; he thinks of his father literally once (he was a farmer; he died in a ploughing accident), and his mother not at all. We can surmise he either doesn't remember her, or doesn't care to... so either she died or left when he was very young, I suppose? My personal interpretation is that she probably died in childbirth, since they seemed to live pretty rurally, and if she died in childbirth with Kaz, it makes Nina's 'you probably bargained your way out of the womb' comment kind of true, albeit accidentally. A life for a life...

But her death/departure is the first domino falling, in that it means Kaz and Jordie are left uncared for after their father's death. If she had lived or stayed... Well, I don't think Kaz would have ever gone to Ketterdam. I'm sure Kaz would say it doesn't matter, but everyone else's mothers are important to to them and remembered fondly. There's everything Jesper remembers about Aditi, Inej thinks often and fondly of small things about her mother, there's Matthias's mother who wore her shoes on the wrong feet when she was pregnant with his sister, and there is of course Marya Van Eck... this sort of puts Kaz in a weird position where he's in parallel with Nina, who's also an orphan, but the difference is Nina was raised in an orphanage from, presumably, a really early age, and Kaz had at least his father until he was nine. But the boy who remembers it all... doesn't seem to remember his mother? I wonder if he even knows what her name was. It's not plot relevant, but I still wonder.

[ramen8008]

Okay so.... how's Kaz gonna propose. Because I am sure that no matter how much Inej wants to she will 100% make sure it's Kaz who proposes. Because that's how she was raised and she won't let anything the world threw at her from thinking she deserves any less.

But like...

Kaz: so I have a... proposition for you. This benefits both of us I mean there's tax benefits and all and I believe that if you say yes to this it will...uh be very... favourable to you.

Jesper: .... You know you are practicing for a proposal right?

Wylan: This is a marriage proposal right?

Kaz: yes.

*Nina in the corner shaking from trying not to laugh.*

Wylan: Maybe try being a little more....I don't know...direct?

Kaz: I am always direct.

Wylan: why can't he simply just say "will you marry me?" And we can give him some sweet little speech to memorize

Jesper: No we can't do that. Inej will know he's simply reading off a script. She needs a proposal that comes from Kaz

Nina dying in the corner holding back her laughter.

Jesper: okay try being really straight forward...ask her in one sentence maybe?

Kaz: will you sign this legal bond between us tha-

Jesper: wait right stop there.

Wylan: just ask the question and be more... enthusiastic

Kaz: will you sign this legal bond between us tha-

Jesper: Okay stop right there. We can make this work

Wylan: Yes try being more...happy about it.

Kaz: *stares at Wylan*

Wylan: Nevermind... Saints! He's never gonna get this if he doesn't even try. Do you even want to propose?!?

Kaz: *Glares* Of course I do why else would I even bother being here with you-

Jesper: Okay shut it! Wylan I need a glass of water this is going to take a while. And Kaz do as we say or you're not getting my blessing

Kaz: I don't need your blessing. What are you? Her father?

Jesper: If you really think Inej will marry you without our blessing then you shouldn't even bother proposing

Kaz: *sighs in frustration* fine

Nina, pokes in: yeah he's not getting my blessing

Kaz: What?! Why?!

Nina: I am sorry I might be mistaken but weren't you the one who referred to Inej as your "investment". *Blinks innocently*

Kaz: THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO!!

Nina: Your fault that you just happen to call the love of your life that, maybe if you weren't such a dense idiot-

Jesper: I said shut it! Nina go back to your corner and Kaz I need you to pay close attention. Make it short and simple where you ask her to marry you and also tell her how much you love and cherish her, alright? Can you do that?

Kaz: *sighs* yeah...

Jesper: okay start!

Kaz: ....

Kaz: I want to-

Jesper: wait...what was that pause at the start

Kaz: well you said to keep it short so I was shortening it.

Jesper: what do you mean "it"

Kaz: I never speak without filtering and around Inej there's too much to filter so I keep it short but since there's so much I want to say sometimes it takes awhile to gather my thoughts.

Jesper: and these things are like what? Compliments?

Kaz:....sort of I guess. More complicated though.

Jesper: YES! THAT'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO! Tell her all you think about her without filtering or changing anything. Just let your heart speak for itself. Don't think about it

Kaz: What do you mean "don't think about it" that's what I d-

Jesper: that's the problem. You dwell on it too much and don't let yourself be vulnerable but you love Inej right? So what's a better way to show it then be exactly that! Omg I am a genius

Kaz: No, you are an idiot. Why would I want to be vulnerable

Jesper: To show Inej you care! That you are willing to let down you guard for her

Kaz: That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard. I did that once, I spoke without thinking. It was fucking embarrassing

Wylan:*raises an eyebrow* and what happened?

Kaz: ... Shit he's right

Jesper: SEE I was right, the last time you did that you got Inej

Kaz: I still think that's a stupid idea

Nina: and you wonder why it took you so long to get anywhere. You need to show her love and romance but since you dwell so much on your thoughts you treat her like everyone else MEANING you treat her like shit.

Jesper: Shush Nina! Don't say that to him, poor guy just wants to propose.

Wylan: Kaz like you said you have a lot to say about Inej to her that you don't. So when you propose just tell her everything you want her to know. Don't dwell on it or anything just listen to your heart and speak

Nina: yeah like he has a heart. My waffles are capable of more human emotions than him.

Kaz: FINE! WHATEVER I'LL DO IT ON MY OWN!

Jesper: just listen to what Wylan said. We know Inej and as much as you might think otherwise we want this to work.

Nina: I-

Jesper gives Nina a look

Nina: What? I just want Inej to be happy and if it's with him then fine

Kaz: Whatever I'm going

Wylan: Just remember! Let your heart speak and don't think about it!

---------------------------------------------------------

Kaz:*thinking* shit shit shit shit

Inej: *Lands behind him*

Kaz *turns around*: Hello... hi? Hey?

Inej: *amused* ...hey?

Kaz: ...

Inej *smiles*: so why did you call me here?

Kaz: *thinking*: shit she's smiling what do I do

Inej: Kaz?

Kaz: *thinking* shit okay I need to stop thinking, just say anything that comes to mind, okay you can do it

Inej: Kaz? Are you alr-

Kaz: Iloveyou!

Inej: *confused* ...thanks? I love you too. But seriously are you alright Kaz? You look like you're about to pass out.

Kaz: No I'm not. I just need to tell you something

Inej: okay.... I'm listening.

Kaz, deep breathes: okay. Here goes nothing

Kaz: I need to tell you that you are lovely and brave and better than anything I deserved. That I am twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that that I can't pull myself together into some semblance of a man for you. That without meaning to, I'd begun to lean on you, look for you, to need you near. I love your laugh and if I could bottle the sound and get drunk on it every night I would. It terrifies me.

I memorized your favorite flower, favorite song, favorite sweet, just to see you smile. Your smile is one thing I would die to earn again. No saint has ever looked after me...but you have, Inej. I want you, Inej. And I'll have you anyway you want, without gloves, head turn your way so we can kiss. I'll give you myself without armor for you to have.

Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, will you do me the honor of marrying you.

[undercover-grisha]

Not in like a weird disability fetish way, but looking at Kaz and Inej’s relationship from a disability standpoint is sooooooo chef’s kiss

Just om nom nom nom nom

Like specifically when she says “he was going to break my legs. Would you have come for me?” And she so firmly thinks he wouldn’t have, and he’s only thinking that no one DID come for him so of COURSE he would’ve come for her

Bc he sees her as so much more than just her parts, bc he knows what it’s like to HAVE broken parts

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Okay maybe I’m just late to the party realising this but you guys when Kaz talks about Geels and his girlfriend in chapter 2 of Six of Crows is it meant to be implicit reference to him and Inej as a set up for the rest of the duology???

This is the quote that made me think this just now:

“You love her, don’t you? Of course you do, no-one that fine should have ever looked twice at Barrel scum like you but she’s different. She finds you charming. Sure sign of madness if you ask me, but love is strange that way”

And then that’s followed by Geels giving up on all the planning and scheming he’s done to be able to kill Kaz so that Kaz won’t hurt Elise!?

The entire scene is about Kaz trusting Inej blindly to get to the other guard on time and save his life??

They talk about *geraniums* in the window box of 19 Burdtradt!!?????

The more I think about this the more I love it but idk maybe I’m reading into it too much? Lemme know what you guys think

[heliads]

'homesick, but not for home' - kaz brekker

Based on this request: "y/n finally gets to visit their home country after years away in ketterdam with the crows. a sweet little slice of life with kaz finally getting to be kaz rietveld"

masterlist

merry christmas everyone! my present to you is kaz

Receiving a summons from Kaz Brekker usually means one of two things:  either you are about to be murdered, or he is going to ask you to do something before he murders you. Usually, that task involves the distribution of funds from your ledgers to his. However, as one of the bare few who has the privilege of making it to his inner circle, you would wager that there’s a third possible outcome from hearing from him:  he still wants you to do something, but you’ll be killing someone else.

Nonetheless, judging by the expression of the courier who tells you that Kaz is expecting you in his office, even being spared an imminent death doesn’t mean that this meeting will go pleasantly. Dirtyhands has a reputation around here, one just as dark and choking as those black gloves he so loves to wear. No one here knows Kaz as anything more than a shadow of a man, a killer, a convict. To learn that he wishes to speak to you is akin to hearing that Death itself is knocking on your door.

You, however, just smile and turn your feet towards the stairs leading to Kaz’s office instead. The Slat, home of the Dregs, is a rickety ramshackle of a building. Kaz has been doing his part to fix it up as he can, but the floorboards are still masterfully creaky and the oil lamps flicker ominously from their resting places beside each looming door. The stairwell is worst of all, a towering, beckoning talon that delivers you to your fate at the very top. 

Sometimes, you swear Kaz put his office on the top floor just because it would give his victims more time to contemplate their quickly approaching demise when they had to climb all the way up. Other days, you just assume that he was sick of the noise and wanted to find a place where nobody would bother him unless absolutely necessary. Knowing Kaz, both rationales are probably sound.

You knock once on the door to his office and, upon hearing your name called to come in, twist the doorknob and let yourself inside. Gathered in a loose semicircle on the few available pieces of furniture as well as leaning against the wall are Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Matthias, and Nina. Kaz sits, as usual, ramrod straight in a chair behind his desk, and gestures for you to take the final open seat.

“Looks like everyone’s here,” you note. “Should I be worried about missing anything?”

“Not in the slightest,” Jesper chirps. “Only that Kaz has been saving that chair for you this whole time. He keeps glaring at us whenever we so much as look towards it.”

Jesper looks as if he’d like to gossip about this a little more, but Wylan digs a sharp elbow into his side, causing the other boy to complain heartily. 

You just grin, sliding into your seat. “Good. I deserve luxury. I was never made to sit on the ground.”

Kaz coughs pointedly to disguise what you’re sure is a smile. “Now that we’re all in attendance, we can get started. I’ve heard news of a prospective business deal happening off the coast of the Southern Colonies. Expensive materials are being exchanged. Jewelry, artwork, the like. It’s all being conducted by Kerch merchers, but they took everything offshore to avoid the chance of getting caught. If we swoop in the night before and take all their bargaining tools, we’ll be richer and they’ll have to cave to our demands.”

“Of course, our demands,” Nina says, nodding. “What are we demanding, again?”

Inej smiles. “For them to stop breathing down our backs, for one thing. Also, they keep trying to cut into business. They needed this deal for an alliance between some of the wealthier merchers, but if each party thinks the other stole their riches before the swap, they’ll be so busy with infighting that they won’t bother us for some time.”

Kaz inclines his head gravely. “Precisely.”

Inej taps her fingers silently against her leg. “My question is when we’re going to stage the attack. We can attempt to hijack the ships before they leave the harbor, but I have no doubt that they’ll be crawling with stadwatch.”

“That’s why we’ll be sailing along with them,” Kaz clarifies. “The heist won’t happen until we’re on the shores of the Southern Colonies. That way, they’ll have let down their guard.”

Immediately, everyone reacts. Leaving the Barrel is an invitation for everything to go wrong. If rival gangs like the Dime Lions or the Razorgulls find out that Kaz’s inner circle isn’t in town, they’ll hasten to loot the place or kill your foot soldiers before anyone gets back.

���We have to leave the country?” Inej asks doubtfully. “That’s a tremendous risk.”

Kaz’s expression doesn’t shift a second, but you can still sense him tensing somehow, all too aware of the extra burden on his staff to maintain decorum and avoid attracting threats from his many enemies. “Think of it as a vacation. You’ll be able to get out of the city and go somewhere nice. Maybe even get some seaside air.”

Jesper snorts. “Kaz, your idea of a vacation is locking the door of your office and not running your numbers for five minutes. I didn’t think seaside air existed in your vocabulary except as a potential source of weakness.”

Kaz frowns. “Of course seaside air exists in my vocabulary. How else would I know to say it?”

Jesper rolls his eyes and looks as if he’d like to counter that with an equally terrible argument, but you cut him off. “I’d like to go,” you say suddenly.

All eyes turn to you. “Why?” Wylan asks.

A faint smile plays upon your lips. It’s easier to look at the ground than face all of their inquisitive stares, so you do just that. “I’m from the Southern Colonies. Used to be, at least. I’d always planned on going back at some point, but never got the chance until now.”

Truth be told, you were assuming that you would never get that chance. Your parents moved your whole family down to Ketterdam when you were about ten years old, drawn by the call of a quick profit. They were able to eke out a few tentative years, but the city swallowed them like it does everyone else. It’s just you now, you and the Crows and the dream that at one point, you might be able to revisit the place you once called home.

Even connecting ‘home’ and the Southern Colonies in the same sentence seems like something out of a dream. You’ve lived in Kerch for so long now that you can hardly imagine being anywhere else. The Crows are your family, the Barrel your home. It’s a strange life, certainly, but it’s yours.

Kaz’s face closes down. “I’ll go with you. Inej, you and the rest will maintain the Crow Club and its affiliates until we return. I don’t want to risk all of us on one endeavor.”

Matthias arches a brow. “You are willing to brave the risk of splitting up, though?”

Kaz turns a bemused expression his way. “Are you worried about me, drüskelle? And here I thought we’d never see eye to eye.”

Matthias snorts. “Don’t go that far, demjin.”

“I won’t if you won’t,” Kaz muses. “The plan is set, then. We’ll have three weeks to plan, and then Y/N and I will set off.”

He allows the rest of the Crows to leave, but gestures for you to stay. You pull your chair closer to his desk, sensing that the discussion will shift into more details of the mission at hand.

Once the last of your friends have gone, Kaz turns his gaze to you. His eyes seem to stare straight through your skull, and you get the strange feeling that he could read every thought created inside your mind if he just bothered to listen a little closer. 

“You said you were born in the Southern Colonies. I need to be certain that there will be no distractions for a job like this. Can you swear to me that you’ll be focused?” He asks you.

“It won’t be an issue,” you assure him. “I’ll see the countryside and then move on. Honest.”

“Well, I should hope you won’t be completely honest,” Kaz murmurs, the corners of his lips pricking up into a slight shade of a smile. “We are still robbing people, of course.”

“Of course,” you laugh. His eyes jerk up when you do, his gaze hungry for the sight of it.

And– see, this is where you start to get into trouble. You are a criminal, a member of a gang. Every day is a fight. You know that survival is the thing that matters most in the Barrel, survival and how much money you can make off of delaying your last breath. You need to have single-minded focus totally centered around how you are going to make it through each day, but instead, your brain has started drifting to unreasonable topics like the precise shade of Kaz’s eyes or all the techniques he uses to hide his smiles.

It won’t serve you well, this feeling like a slow burn in your chest. Kaz would be the very first to tell you that weakness will only get you killed. People are a weakness. Is Kaz, though? Sometimes, in vague moments in between the times when reality comes firmly back to ground you, you can almost imagine that he might feel the same way. Would he really entertain this idea if he didn’t feel something for you? Would he leave the Barrel to go all the way to the Southern Colonies with you if he could easily send Jesper or someone else?

In the end, all you can ever do is push the thoughts from your mind. The scheming and planning period has got to be your least favorite part of a heist, but unfortunately, it’s also the segment that takes the longest. Every detail has to be perfect or all involved will be caught in the act.

Eventually, though, you find yourself shipping out on a fine sea morning, headed towards the country that hasn’t been yours since you were a child. You and Kaz are pretending to be business partners, which is true enough. His cabin is next to yours. You’re fairly sure he already knows the identity of every other traveler on the ship, just in case.

Standing on the deck and watching Ketterdam retreat into a nameless speck on the dark, vast ocean, you can’t help but wonder what the Southern Colonies will bring your way. Your heart is surprisingly light in your chest at the thought of it. You have dim recollections of the rolling hills and drifting tides, although even these memories have grown hazy with time. You can’t wait to see it again.

By contrast, Kaz, standing by your side, seems far less thrilled about the whole idea. His black gloves are clenched tightly around the railing, his grip hardening whenever the ship tilts too much. You glance around to make sure no other travelers are within earshot, then ask him with a questioning glance, “Why would you make this trip if you don’t like the ocean?”

Kaz shoots you a wary look. “I’m perfectly fine with it.”

You scoff. “Nonsense. You look as if you’d like nothing more than to drain the entire True Sea and simply walk to the Southern Colonies on foot. You could have sent Inej or Jesper in your place, you know. Why’d you want to go?”

“I have to make sure the job goes smoothly,” Kaz informs you. “Business is best handled by myself.”

You arch a brow. “Lovely. Good to know that you’ll never let something pesky like sea travel stand between you and your ambitions.”

Kaz snorts. “I should hope you’d already know that. And to answer your unspoken question, you’re here too because it’s foolish to take international jobs without someone at your back just in case of trouble. I trust you to not let homesickness for the Southern Colonies get in the way. I would advise you to stick to that.”

You smile. “Goodness, Kaz, you trust me? No wonder you didn’t want anyone else with us, if the rest knew you were shelling out compliments this easily they would have teased you for years.”

In the corners of your peripheral vision, you swear you can see a matching smile slide onto Kaz’s lips, but it’s gone the second you turn to look at him. “Precisely my thinking.”

The journey takes shorter than expected, or maybe that’s just your restless thinking. In no time at all, your ship is docking at a port of the Southern Colonies, and you’re turning in a slow circle on the coast, taking in every single sight you can.

“Careful,” Kaz tells you, “You don’t want to come across as too strong of a pigeon. We don’t want to attract any new friends who anticipate stealing something off of us.”

He’s smiling, though, and you swear there’s something a little lighter in his expression than you usually see. Maybe it really is the sea air getting to him, or maybe the fact that he’s out of Ketterdam’s grimy clutches lets Kaz relax even a fraction.

Regardless, you’re happy for it. “Ridiculous,” you say, laughing slightly. “Not all the world is like the Barrel, you know. We don’t do that sort of thing in the Southern Colonies.”

“We?” Kaz asks doubtfully. “Three steps you’ve taken off the ship and you’re already a proper citizen again, are you?”

You just grin. “What, are you jealous? Scared I’ll leave the Barrel?”

He doesn’t answer, but quickly changes the topic towards finding accommodations for the night and planning out an intelligence trip near the location where the jewels are being held. Even walking through the portside town and crossing the streets feels like magic, in a way. You lived not far from here, and everything from the curve of the avenues to the bright sun in the sky feels like coming home.

As it turns out, you and Kaz aren’t the only ones affected by the easy way of life in the Colonies. The two merchers you’ve been tracking are discussing business in broad daylight, obviously not anticipating anyone to have followed them. The job will be easy, and the few days you gave yourselves for extra planning are largely useless since no more details are relevant.

Instead, you take it upon yourself to explore the surrounding countryside. You tell Kaz that he doesn’t have to accompany you every time, of course, he can stay back in the portside town if he pleases, but he still goes with you. It’s funny, the more time you spend away from the city, the more you watch the burdens slowly lift from his shoulders, the light return to his eyes.

One time, while walking through a wooded path, Kaz tells you it’s because this reminds him of his home, as well. He grew up on a farm, once, under a different last name and in a different life. He’ll never have that time of his life back again, nor, you think privately, will you have yours, but it’s still lovely to wander around here and pretend that you could.

The job goes off without a hitch. Soon enough, you find yourselves sitting pleased with jewels and artwork hidden away in your luggage, all items recovered without their owners batting so much as an eye. You’ll leave early in the morning before they can notice you. You feel a pang in your heart at the thought of leaving already, but you hadn’t realized you weren’t the only one thinking about it until Kaz visits your room at the inn late that final night.

You had known it was him at your door from the moment you heard his crisp knock against the wooden paneling. No one else moves or lives like Kaz, with so much precision. When you let him in, though, he looks more wild than you’ve ever seen him. His hair, for once, has lost its impeccable style and gone wild and unkempt. His shirt is wrinkled and rolled up to the elbows. It would still be a good look on him were it not for the fact that you’ve never seen him so little put together in the entire time you’ve known him.

Kaz doesn’t say a word until he is certain that the door is shut and bolted behind him. Then, all of a sudden, the words burst out of his throat, so beseeching that you have to wonder how in Ghezen’s name he managed to keep them from you for so long. “Don’t stay here,” he says. “Come back with me.”

You frown. “Who said I was staying? We’ve both got tickets on the ship departing next morning, Kaz.”

He waves a hand frustratedly to signal his disbelief in this statement. “Tickets don’t mean a thing. I need you to say it.”

“I did,” you frown. “Where else would I go?”

“Here,” Kaz says heatedly. “I’ve seen the way you look at the buildings, this place. You want to say here. Don’t you do it, Y/N.”

You shake your head softly. “I love it here, yes, but it’s not my home anymore than Ravka across the sea. I’m going back to the Barrel, Kaz.”

“With me,” he says uncertainly.

“With you,” you confirm. “Goodness, Kaz, did you really think I would stay? How could I do such a thing?”

“It’s very easy for people to leave,” he tells you. There’s a heaviness in his eyes that reminds you of brothers that have been buried, of farms that have long been sold to undeserving families that were not his.

“Not me,” you whisper. “Not if it was you I was leaving.”

His eyes, which have been sweeping your figure this entire time, looking for some twitch of a finger or jump of a pulse to betray you for lying, leap up to yours again. “Okay,” he says at last. “Okay.”

He leans back slightly, wavering on his heels. “I– I’ll go back to my room, then.”

Kaz doesn’t look as if he much savors the idea, and you decide to spare him from his thoughts, just in case. “You can stay here, you know.”

A soft breath is released. “That would– I could do that.”

He does. And, as your candles burn closer to the quick, as the night settles over this city, you cannot help but be glad for the time when you’ll find yourself in a different one. It has been nice to be here, but you would like to go home. And, most importantly of all, you are glad that Kaz will be there with you.

grishaverse tags: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @eclliipsed, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy, @aoi-targaryen, @budugu

all tags list: @wordsarelife