#independent failures

[ravenkings]

[psychoticallytrans]

There are three main models of disability that are in common use. The moral model, the medical model, and the social model.

You may not have heard of the moral model before, but if you are disabled, you have felt the impact of it. The moral model is disability as a failure of character. It sources the problem of disability in the character of the disabled person. It's the people who insist that if you just tried harder, were better, had a better attitude, that you would no longer be disabled. It is a model that is used by ableists in order to conceptualize of disability as a failing of the individual. An extreme example of this mindset are the Christian Scientists, who believe that all illnesses and disabilities should be healed by the grace of their god and that if you are not healed, something is wrong with you. It is the the most cruel of the models, and the least successful at assisting disabled people.

The medical model is the model used by the medical establishment and by those who put their stock in medical authority. It sources the problem of disability in the body. It measures disability against a theoretical average person, and seeks to make disabled people match that average person more closely. This model works very well for disabled people with disabilities that can be measured, have a potential treatment plan, and want their disability gone. It does not work very well for people who do not match all three criteria. If they match the first and second but not the third, then strict adherents of the medical model often fall back on the moral model, stating that they are stupid, lazy, or selfish for not being interested in being cured. This also often happens if treatment fails to improve the condition of the disabled person.

The social model is a newer model, largely designed by disability activists and scholars and often defined in opposition to the medical model. It sources the problem of disability in the interaction between the disabled person and their physical and social environment. It argues that the solution of disability is to change the environment so that impairments are no longer an issue. This model works very well for disabled people who consider their disability not to be an issue when fully accommodated. It does not work well for people who consider their disability an inherent impairment and/or desire a cure. Strict adherents of the social model often fall back on the moral model when considering these people, stating that they are short-sighted or that they worship the medical model. These are the people who state things such as that depression would not exist in a world without capitalism.

When a disabled person fails to behave as expected by the model a person has of disability, the moral model is almost always the fallback position, because many people cannot conceive of why someone would disagree with them other than a lack of good character. This is a problem, because the moral model proposes no solution but to ignore or abuse the disabled person until they behave as expected.

Another notable interaction is that adherents of the medical model can often be persuaded to support the more traditional parts of the social model, such as providing large text resources to people with impaired vision, so long as there is empirical research backing it. However, they rarely support more radical arguments that challenge how we define disability and how society should be structured or restructured.

All three models have major failure points. The moral model fails every disabled person it is applied to. The medical and social models both fail different disabled people when adhered to strictly. The best approach at the moment seems to be hybridizing the social and medical models, so that they cover each other's weak points and fit the needs of the widest spectrum of disabled people. The main barrier to this is that they are often defined in opposition to each other.

[toxicroyjamie]

so crazy how jamie had a breakdown and quit his job and basically blew up his career to go be a slut on national tv (which made him miserable) 😭 and then he was like uhhh what do i do and went to his ex for advice 😭 oh baby i felt so bad for him even though he was a huge prick he got knocked down so many pegs and tbh i wish they explored that more like how bad must it have been to go back to his dad after getting some freedom from him to the point that he almost ruined his career

God I knowwww. I joke but I really think a lot about how LCA was actually such a dark time in Jamie’s life

Like. The real reason he left Man City was that he couldn’t tolerate the abuse anymore. He tells Ted that. He had a few months (presumably) at Richmond where he wasn’t being (physically) abused for the first time since childhood, and even in that short period of time, his life changed so much. Like by Two Aces he had already started confronting his trauma and learning from Ted and opening up and kind of sort of getting close to actually making friends and then he just. Woke up one morning and had it yanked out from under him. Just had to go back to his house of horrors in Manchester like nothing had happened

And obviously he tried to reacclimate and go back to what he was used to and just forget everything but it’s like. Growing up in a cage is one thing but being caged after you’ve been free is fucking torture. Obviously he was going to jump at the first chance he had to get the fuck out of there and set out on his own

And THEN he got kicked off LCA and City wouldn’t take him back and he had no one. Literally no one. For the first time in his life he didn’t have teammates and he didn’t have a coach and his relationship with Georgie was in a weird place and he didn’t make friends at Richmond because he was an asshole to everyone and he didn’t have friends at City (sat alone and sad on the bus) and Keeley had left him because he was an asshole to her and James would never take him back so like. He had no one to turn to and no prospects and his career was over it and it was entirely his fault and there was nothing he could do to fix it and so he just went to Keeley as a last ditch effort

[incesthemes]

thinking... maybe there's something to be said about soul survivor and salvation. this would be the first time sam has actually saved dean in the show since faith. sam has protected dean several times by sacrificing himself, but every time sam has tried to save dean's life in the same way dean so often saves sam, he's failed. i didn't think about this at first, but curing dean of being a demon really should count as saving dean's life.

so that opens the door for the interpretation that by giving himself into codependency at the end of season 9, and through the role reversal that persists through seasons 9-10, sam is able to step into dean's shoes, which does involve saving his brother's life because that's what dean does. in that case, it's another way which the narrative rewards their codependent relationship: the more codependent they get, the more capable they are of keeping each other alive (the most important thing). it's not until sam wholeheartedly embraces a codependent relationship with dean that he finally sees success in his endeavors to revive dean and bring him home to him. by contrast, dean was able to bring sam back all those times because he was all in with their tangled-up, unhealthy relationship from the start.

insane show for insane people. seriously

[mbti-notes]

Hi! INFJ here. Would you be able to elaborate on the dynamics that lead to Level 3 INFJ's being 'overdependent on people who share similar interests'? This seems completely accurate to me. I've always highly prioritized working with the right mentor and collaborators, and don't feel confident in my ability to do my work completely on my own. But I'm not sure how to move beyond this state: I guess Ti development is the key?

There are a lot of factors that can contribute to overdependence. Since you haven't provided many clues as to why you lack confidence, all I can say is that, in INFJs generally, it is often related to issues like perfectionism or fear of failure. For example:

Ni: Do you have realistic expectations of yourself? If your expectations are too high, narrow, or strict, "falling short" will always feel like a threat to you.

Fe: Are you sensitive to disapproval? If so, incurring negative feedback and criticism will always feel like a threat to you.

Ni+Fe: Do you easily suffer from excess guilt or shame? If so, making mistakes will always feel like a threat to you.

If any of the above apply to you, it means further Ni and Fe development is needed, in which case, Ti development isn't on the docket yet. It's important to develop functions in the correct order. In the above mindset, the prime motivator is fear. It means purposely keeping oneself small as a defense against those ego threats, and overdependence is one possible manifestation of that smallness. I don't have a magic wand that can convince people to immediately drop their ego fears. The best way to overcome them is to confront them.

Being independent isn't as simple as just going it alone. Humans are social creatures, so relationships are vital to their well-being. Independence is partly about faith and trust, which gives rise to self-confidence. It means having faith in yourself and having trust in your capabilities. Unfortunately, people often believe that being "capable" means being able to do things well all the time. Not the case.

If you truly believe in your capabilities, it means you believe you can do things well AND it also means you believe you can handle it when you DON'T do things well. You trust that you'll survive, adapt, learn, and evolve. Perhaps the point you're missing is that you have to face challenges, problems, obstacles, mistakes, failures and all the messiness and nastiness in life in order to grow. As long as you live in fear of these things, you'll give up every opportunity to grow. Can you feel genuinely fulfilled knowing that you've never been brave enough to really stand up and stand out as the truest version of yourself?

[commonsensecommentary]

A well written (and profoundly depressing) overview of the unmitigated disasters caused by the Biden administration’s insane energy policies. We have all paid the price for this “Green New Steal” stupidity that has weakened America and empowered our foes.

[coye]

Loser ass women making passive aggressive posts to try and shame other women who have men that pay their bills. It's so obvious that they're just coping with their own jealousy and frustration because they can't find a man to do that for them. So they try to fake this righteous outrage and pretend it's about "independence", when really it's bitterness and envy. The truth is, most women who have men paying their bills are still smart and savvy enough to have their own money and independence too. It's not an either/or situation. But these bitter wannabes want to act like it's some shameful, dependent lifestyle choice.

They paint the women with financially supportive partners as weak or less than, when in reality, those women have just figured out a way to have the best of both worlds. Financial security and independence. What's wrong with that? But these jealous ass losers can't stand to see other women living that kind of life. So they have to try and tear them down and make themselves feel better. It's pure envy, plain and simple. They wish they could have what those other women have, but they're too insecure to admit it.

Instead, they just spew this holier than thou rhetoric about financial independence, as if that's the only valid way to live. There are plenty of ways for women to be strong, capable, and secure, with or without a man footing the bills. So these bitter haters need to get over themselves and stop trying to police how other women choose to live their lives. They need to stop worrying about what other women are doing. Your jealousy is showing, and it's not a good look.

[sodrippy]

can i be so honest right now my parents should be ETERNALLY grateful that i respect them enough to not have killed myself even once this whole time

[mean-vampyre]

At my age my mom had two children and a soon to be useless husband. Damn she should not have been at the club but perhaps fujoishing it about early 2000s tv 🤟😔

[cinemaocd]

"Democrats' failures... have ruined the lives of countless Minnesotans"

-quote from the RNC that generated a lot of angry comments from Minnesotans on a youtube video including this gem from my new bestie from Iowa:

[eseomo]

Seo.

[lesenbyan]

Scientists: want so badly for adult children who are friends with and/or still dependant on parents for money or a roof to be Bad that they are intentionally looking for detriment in the study results

Study results: so overwhelmingly positive they can't actually find the data needed to twist the narrative

Scientists: >:|

[barnabytremayne]

The Face I Wear

The abyss that is my own reflection. I avoid it as I would a festering wound, a putrid sore that seems to sear my very soul. Cameras, too, are anathema to me, those unblinking eyes that capture the very essence of my self-loathing. I duck and weave, dodging their gaze with a desperation that borders on hysteria.

But it's not just the camera's lens that I fear. It's the mirror's flat, unyielding gaze that seems to mock me with its very presence. I glance at my reflection, and for a moment, the world tilts on its axis. The contours of my face, once so familiar, now seem distorted, like a funhouse mirror reflecting a twisted, warped reality. My eyes, once bright and alert, now seem dull and sunken, like two dying embers.

I've always been haunted by the specter of ugliness. As a child, I'd stare at myself in the mirror, convinced that I was the most hideous creature in the world. My parents' reassurances meant nothing; I was convinced that my face was a grotesque parody, a monstrous aberration. And as I grew older, this self-loathing only intensified. I'd catch glimpses of myself in store windows, on street corners, and in strangers' eyes, and the feeling would wash over me like a cold, dark wave.

But it's not just the physical appearance that bothers me. It's the sense of self, the notion that I am somehow less than, that I am an imposter in this world. I feel like a fraud, a charlatan masquerading as a human being. And when I look in the mirror, I'm confronted with the crushing reality of my own inadequacy.

I've tried to outrun this feeling, to distract myself with work, with hobbies, with the fleeting highs of human connection. But it's always there, lurking just beneath the surface, waiting to pounce like a snake in the grass. And when the cameras come out, when the lights are turned up, and the world is watching, I'm forced to confront this abyss, this chasm of self-loathing that threatens to consume me whole.

And so I hide. I duck and weave, avoiding the mirror's gaze like a rat avoiding a snake. I'm a master of evasion, a virtuoso of avoidance. But even as I flee, I know that I'm only delaying the inevitable. The camera's gaze will find me, and when it does, I'll be forced to confront the abyss once more. And so I go through the motions, putting on a mask of confidence, of assurance, of humanity. I smile and pose and pretend to be someone I'm not, all the while knowing that it's a lie.

But perhaps that's the only way to survive. Perhaps the only way to make it through this life is to don the mask, to pretend to be someone you're not, to hide behind the façade of a man who's whole and complete and beautiful.

And yet, as I stand before the mirror, frozen in terror, I know that it's all a lie. I'm not whole and complete and beautiful. I'm broken and fragmented and hideous. And the only way to make it through this life is to face that truth, to confront the abyss head-on, and to emerge on the other side, scarred and battered and bruised, but alive.

The camera's gaze will find me, and when it does, I'll be ready. I'll stand before it, my mask firmly in place, my eyes blazing with a fierce and desperate intensity. I'll show it the abyss, I'll show it the void, and I'll show it the man who's hiding beneath. And maybe, just maybe, that man will be enough.

[sangfielle]

the way dragon age handles ferelden is. so. something.

[lilismoonhouse]

Just for a moment all the stars stop shinning and you realise your hope is completely gone, and that your future depends fully on you, because faith failed you.

- Lili (me ;) )

[paintedpawz]

Finally found the art program for me it seems, even though Krita gave me some troubles at first, I got comfortable pretty quickly once I worked out the tools. :D I’ve been wanting to practice with reference images, as well as it helps cement my fursona’s design!  Still might tweak the colors to be a little more pleasing to the eyes.  Even than, Pig looks amazing in digital art now that I got a better grasp on their design! 

Anyway, Pigment is happy because they woke up and remembered it’s pride the 1st!!! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

Reference was this meme~