#incorrect sephiroth

[hecate-valentine]

has this been done yet?

[verysmolspams]

I recreated an ongoing meme for the lads. Enjoy 💀

[rosy-crow]

I think this was their relationship

[ffvii-series-incorrect-quotes]

[rottenpumpkin13]

So often we see posts of no one believing Cloud abt Sephiroth’s presence…. What about one of the gang finding Sephiroth returned again and Cloud doesn’t believe it bc he’s too used to his hallucinations & phantom pains to just. Assume that Sephiroth came back, again, like seriously it wasn’t believable the last time either you guys

*Sephiroth materializes in front of Cloud and the group*

Tifa: OH MY GOD

Cloud, unfazed: What?

Cid: What do you mean what!? Look! It's Sephiroth!

*Sephiroth just stands there, menacingly*

Cloud: You people are ridiculous. That's obviously just an illusion. Look, I'll prove it to you guys

*Cloud grabs Sephiroth's chest*

Sephiroth:

Cloud: See? If Sephiroth were real, he'd have his sword at my throat by now.

*Cloud still has his hands on Sephiroth's chest. Sephiroth isn't going away*

Cloud:

Cloud:

Cloud:

Cloud: I feel like I've made a mistake of some kind.

[little-black-dress-zack-fair]

Sephiroth: Give yourself permission not to be accessible at all times. Ignore that voicemail. Leave that message on read. Turn off your phone. Don't answer emails. Destroy your SIM card. Burn village down. Disappear under mysterious circumstances.

[superespresso]

Hi I made more.

[wu-sisyphus-gang]

Sephiroth: *turns Cloud into a frog*

Sephiroth: Now suffer.

Cloud: *chilling on a leaf*

Sephiroth: Wait

Cloud: *experiencing joy for the first time in his life*

Sephiroth: Wait no

[beriidesu]

[sapphirothcrescent]

Sephiroth: There is only two options for us. One, we get married.

Cloud: Not that one.

Sephiroth: Or two, you end up chained in my basement.

Cloud: ....What was the first option again?

[hecate-valentine]

so the ff7 rebirth trailer dropped and..

[wrwnmi]

I got notifications again from my old sephiroth's hairstyles art so here's a doodle of tifa and aerith with twintails featuring... twintails sephiroth again!! ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

[darlingzelda]

[sephirthoughts]

sephiroth: you've got to trust me cloud

trooper cloud: i don't know are you sure you're not evil

sephiroth: i'm not evil i swear on your mother's grave

trooper cloud: what?

sephiroth: what?

[rottenpumpkin13]

Out Of Context Shit Heard On The SOLDIER Floor #7

Genesis: SEPHIROTH, STOP MEOWING AT ME.

Kunsel: Any loser twink can be a fem-boy, but it takes a real badass to be a fem-man.

Sephiroth: Did I "yee-haw" with joy, or did it convey depression?

Zack, holding up Cloud: BEHOLD.

Sephiroth, stealing a fry from Angeal's plate: A most generous offering. You will be spared. Angeal: FROM? Sephiroth: You will be spared.

Genesis, wearing sunglasses and holding a cappuccino: So there I was, gelato on my breasts—

Cloud: Aww, that's such a cute Halloween decoration. *pointing at Genesis sobbing in the corner*

Angeal: Who put a hotdog in the candy bowl?? Zack, in the background: Halloweenie.

Sephiroth: I could've sworn "motherfucker" was a compliment.

Angeal: IF YOU EAT THAT WEEK-OLD SUSHI PLATTER, YOUR INTESTINES WILL BECOME RADIOACTIVE.

Sephiroth: Zack, can I enjoy this steak dinner without you explaining A/B/O to me?

Lazard: I think we ALL need to beat our fathers with shovels, Sephiroth, you're not special.

Zack: NO! THAT'S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BANANA!

Genesis: He manspreads to assert dominance, I manspread to create a barrier between myself and heteronormativity. We are not the same.

Sephiroth: I just sent Angeal an email describing my feelings for him. If he doesn't reply, I'll show up at his apartment and superglue myself to the door.

Zack: Give me a pen, paper, and three Adderall, and I'll write something better than Loveless in one hour.

Kunsel: Everyone is subjected to failure, but at least I'm not Roche, who thought the plural of ninja was ninji.

Sephiroth: I have exactly three crayons on my person right now, and they're all stolen from Zack.

Angeal, chewing with his mouth full: Don't make psycho-sexual comments in front of my cheeseburger.

Zack, narrating what he's seeing: 🎶 Look at Angeal 🎶 beating Sephiroth with a frozen chicken because he forgot to take it out the freezer. 🎶

Sephiroth: Please refrain from analyzing my deep-seated fear of abandonment linked to my mother's absence and its impact on my emotional regulation, it's seven in the morning and I still haven't had coffee.

Cloud: I'm about two mental breakdowns away from resorting to gang affiliation.

Genesis: COUNTER SPELL! *flicks his wrist* TRAUMA!

Roche: I often have nightmares about Sephiroth attacking me with a spork.

Sephiroth, in the presence of a spider: I feel anti-at peace.

Zack: Dear diary, today I committed tax evasion, and felt great. Tomorrow I'll try embezzlement and eventually vandalism!

Sephiroth: Can you read this death threat note and check if my handwriting is recognizable?

Zack and Genesis: *Loudly arguing over who gets to be the ring bearer at Sephiroth and Angeal's wedding*

Angeal, laying on the floor: Good luck trying to find my will to live, gang.

Genesis: I'm flashing you a tit to maintain our friendship.

Sephiroth: If I had a gil for every time someone compared me to a cat, I'd have enough to purchase that expensive human cat bed that has been on my wishlist for ages.

Roche: Is my discount wig a joke to you, Zackary?

Cloud, placing an "I miss you" letter from his mother in Sephiroth's line of view: Yeah, that's right. Fuck you.

Lazard: Someone pinned a death threat on my office door written in glitter gel pen.

Genesis, flirting: I own an air-fryer.

Angeal: T-shirt that says "I survived Zack's power point presentation on aliens that included a photo of Sephiroth on the fourth slide"

Roche: Cloud Strife's evil twin…Grass Peace.

Sephiroth: *Showing Zack pictures of baby cows while Zack sobs into his burger*

Genesis: PUT. MASAMUNE. DOWN. No one is stealing your crayons.

Sephiroth: Genesis, I feel inspired to compliment your ass.

Lazard: Take a good, hard look at Sephiroth wearing flip-flops and tell me I shouldn't be stressed.

Sephiroth: A most efficient weapon to add to my arsenal *wielding an entire streetlamp*

Zack, talking to Angeal: My insecure trooper and faceless info guy, versus your 6'7 cat and walking red flag.

Kunsel: Is the cure to male loneliness *incomprehensible screeching* ?

[little-black-dress-zack-fair]

Sephiroth: Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake.

Zack: You're literally making a Valentines cards for Angeal and Genesis.

Sephiroth: *pointing a hot glue gun towards him* You are on thin fucking ice Fair.