#incorrect romeo and juliet

[starrynightsxo]

*jurdan in romeo and juliet AU*

juliet (jude): you kiss by the book

romeo (cardan) : there is no world without juliet (jude)

juliet (jude): a damned saint, honourable villain

romeo (cardan): thus with a kiss I die

[the-hipster-nugget]

Romeo: you were in my dream last night!

Mercutio: wait really? *blushing* oh my godddd wait what was it aboutttt what did we dooo?

Romeo: you were the victim of a domestic terrorist attack

[fujihelexicon]

very normal letterkenny conversation

Stuart: Draw thy tool! here comes two of the house of Hicks.

Roald: My naked weapon is out; quarrel, I will back thee.

Stuart: How! turn thy back and run?

Roald: Fear me not.

Stuart: No, marry; I fear thee!

Roald: Let us take the law of our sides; let them begin.

Stuart: I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they list.

Roald: Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them; which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.

[Enter WAYNE and DARRYL]

Wayne: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Roald: I do bite my thumb, sir.

Wayne: Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

Roald: [Aside to STUART] Is the law of our side, if I say ay?

Stuart: No.

Roald: No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I bite my thumb, sir.

Stuart: Do you quarrel, sir?

Wayne: Quarrel sir! no, sir.

Roald: If you do, sir, I am for you; I serve as good a man as you.

Wayne: No better.

Roald: Well, sir.

Stuart: Say 'better;' here comes your kin.

Roald: Yes, better, sir.

Wayne: You lie.

Roald: Draw, if you be men. Stuart, remember thy swashing blow.

[They fight]

[Enter KATY]

Katy: Part, fools! Put up your swords; you know not what you do.

[atuzunenayisi]

stiles: derek, derek, wherefore art thou, derek? derek (confused): i'm right here, babe...? stiles: "wherefore" means "why" not "where" you dumbass. derek: i strongly believe that misunderstandings like these are what defines our relationship.

[mercutio-no]

Romeo: What does ‘take out’ mean?

Benvolio: Food.

Juliet: Dating.

Tybalt: Murder.

Mercutio: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU’RE NOT A COWARD!

[incorrect-tyvolio-quotes]

Mercutio: Hey, do you know the password to Tybalt’s computer?

Benvolio: Fuck you, Mercutio.

Mercutio: Hey!!

Benvolio: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouMercutio".

Mercutio: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

[sparklingrainbowdragon]

Romeo, trying to be friendly: Hey, Tybalt. Uhm. Nice top!

Mercutio: Why, thank you!

Benvolio: (*wondering if 10 am really is too early to start drinking*)

[incorrectandjuliet]

Francois: Oh, to be a bored heir to the throne who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener. May: Oh, to be a cute gardener who secretly places roses in the heir’s room because they are in love with him. William: Oh, to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener up the wall for their secret deliveries in the middle of the night. Romeo: Oh, to be the heir’s best friend witnessing the two fools dance around each other while knowing damn well that the two like each other. Juliet: Oh, to be the noble suitor from another royal family who comes to know of their love instantly and plans an entire plan to get them their happy ending. Anne: Oh, to be a medieval peasant who knows nothing about the heir’s personal life and who dies of dysentery at age 23.

[juliets-roller-derby-awesomeness]

"juliet please come back down to the station. you me and the biscuit lady are the only women in that whole building and without you i'm the only one who didn't "sorta" make out with carlton at the company picnic"

"we're women working in the late 2000s so i know damn well you're only spending your day with traffic cones because you feel like you have to. come back. please. o'hara take as much time as you need but come back soon unless you got a 98.4 on the DET to look at traffic lights for the rest of your career"

-karen vick probably

[deadboyquotes]

Charles, to Edwin: All I've ever been is a sexy young man with a tight body and a lot of feelings. But then I met you!

[tending-the-hearth]

Juliet: I’m proud to identify as moronsexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Romeo asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.

Romeo: What kind of animal is the pink panther?

Juliet, already taking off her clothes: God Romeo, you’re so fucking stupid.

[the-hipster-nugget]

Mercutio: On benvolios soul, Tybalts in love with me

Benvolio: STOP PUTTING MY LIFE IN DANGER

[wheretobuygoodurl]

Shakespeare characters as random things in my notes app

Lady Macbeth: It was so cunt of him to die

Hamlet, talking about Claudius: He looks like his hairline got a restraining order from his forehead.

Also Hamlet: After I found out I had a silly little mental disorder, I was like, “what if I went to England?”

Mercutio, angrily: If I was a shark, I would eat Tybalt.

Hamlet, with an idea for a play: I say, “beef jerky.” The camera pans to you, saying “No! Please no!” Then it pans back over to me. I am beef jerky.

Hamlet, with another idea for a play: I’m gonna write a one-act comedy of The Last Supper. Yes, “Judas, you’ve been awfully quiet.”

Laertes, to the tune of Creep by Radiohead: 🎶 I’m a crêpe 🎶

More to come.

[lesbocrocker]

Benvolio: Okay then, if you aren’t gay, why are you always holding my hand and kissing me and telling me I’m your boyfriend?

Mercutio: Oh my god, bro it’s SATIRE

Benvolio: THAT’S NOT WHAT SATIRE IS

[mercutio-no]

Benvolio: Why is Romeo crying on the floor?

Mercutio: He’s drunk.

Benvolio: And?

Mercutio: He saw a picture of Juliet’s husband.

Benvolio: But he IS Juliet’s husband!

Mercutio: I know!

[lunaxx08]

juliet varadha : o romeo, romeo, wherefore art thou, romeo?

romeo deva : i'm right here, juliet...?

juliet varadha : 'wherefore' means 'why', not 'where'.

romeo deva : misunderstandings like this are what define our relationship.