#incorrect quotes: watchmen

[itaroma42]

Rorschach: Man, I hate the gays! All their "meh" and their "bleh"!

Dan: [Literally a wtf face cause they JUST had sex and are openly dating.]

[thegoddamnedwatchmen]

Rorschach: love isnt real

Laurie: You’re literally making a Valentine’s Day card for Dan right now.

Rorschach, brandishing a glue gun: on thin fucking ice, Miss Juspeczyk

[inkorrect-watchmen]

[incorrectcomicbookquotes]

Imminent DC Reboot

Impulse: Well, if we're all about to die, there's something I need to get off my chest... I did not care for Watchmen.

Wonder Girl: What?!

Impulse: Did not care for Watchmen.

Secret: How can you say that, Bart?!

Impulse: I just - didn't like it.

Wonder Girl: Bart, it's so good! It's, like, the perfect comic book!

Impulse: This is what everyone always says, whenever I say-

Secret: Rorscach, Silk Specter, Nite Owl, I mean, you never see - Dr. Manhattan!

Impulse: Fine-! Fine characters. Did not like the comic book.

Robin: Why not?

Impulse: Didn't - couldn't get into it.

Wonder Girl: Explain yourself, Bart. What didn't you like about it?

Impulse: It insists upon itself, Cassie.

Wonder Girl: What?

Impulse: It insists upon itself.

Wonder Girl: What does that even mean?

Secret: Because it has a valid point to make! It's insistent!

Impulse: It takes forever for the story to pick up, and it just goes on and on about politics and how superheroes are bad! I mean, I couldn't even bring myself to read the whole thing. Never even seen the ending.

Secret: You've never seen the ending?!

Superboy: Well, how can you say you don't like it if you've never even finished it?

Wonder Girl: I agree with Conner, Bart. That doesn't seem fair.

Impulse: I have tried on three separate occasions to get through it, but then I get to that one chapter where Dr. Manhattan and Silk Specter are on Mars-

Wonder Girl: Yeah! That's a great chapter! I love that chapter!

Impulse: I have no idea what's going on! It's like they're mixing morality politics with personal problems-! Y'know, that's where I lose interest.

Wonder Girl: Y'know what, Bart-?

Secret: They're trying to humanize gods! It's like a metaphor!

Wonder Girl: Y'know, the storytelling the book uses is subtle, okay, Bart? It's something you don't understand.

Impulse: I love DC: The New Frontier. That is my response to that statement.

Wonder Girl: Whatever.

Secret: I like that one, too.

[harringroveera]

Stranger things season 5 spoiler: They fuck

[ffvii-series-incorrect-quotes]

[incorrectfallout-4quotes]

Hancock, tripping on Mentats: There is no future. there is no past. do you see? Time is simultaneous, an intricately structured jewel that humans insist on viewing one edge at a time, when the whole design is visible in every facet.

Piper:

Preston:

Curie:

Everyone Else At Hancock’s Surprise Birthday Party:

Sole: All I asked was if you wanted to cut your birthday cake first.

[incorrectquotesideas-deactivated]

Person A: Having a worthy adversary helped keep me sane.

Person B: Was I a worthy adversary?

Person A: No.

[dark-nymphs-fanfiction]

Doctor Manhattan: I just need you to stay calm.

Silk Spectre: Calm!? I’m on an alien planet!

Doctor Manhattan: It’s just a planet. You’ve been on a planet before.

Silk Spectre: Yeah! One!

Doctor Manhattan: Now you’ve been on two. That’s a good thing. It’s a new experience.

[dumpsterdivings]

Watchmen AU where everything is the same except Rorschach behaves like an Oblivion NPC

"Be seeing you, Daniel. [proceeds to walk continuously into a wall]"

[fridgemagnethusband]

ethan winters, smashing every last bit of glass in castle dimitrescu like the petulant brat he is: I'M NOT LOCKED IN HERE WITH YOU, YOU'RE LOCKED IN HERE WITH ME

[itaroma42]

Nite Owl II: You told me you loved me.

Rorschach: Yes.

Nite Owl II: While you thought I was dying in your arms.

Rorschach: Yes.

Nite Owl II: Well, I'm still alive. Care to repeat that?

[dorkydames2112]

I love the detail of his usual speaking style! xD

Rorschach: love isnt real

Laurie: You’re literally making a Valentine’s Day card for Dan right now.

Rorschach, brandishing a glue gun: on thin fucking ice, Miss Juspeczyk

[inkorrect-watchmen]

[incorrectsmashbrosquotes]

Watchbros.

Snake: I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. "But doctor..." he says "I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

-

Ganondorf:  I'm not a comic book villain. Do you seriously think I would explain my master stroke to you if there were even the slightest possibility you could affect the outcome? I triggered it 35 minutes ago.

-

Link: What happened to us? What happened to the American Dream?

Wolf: "What happened to the American Dream?" It came true! You're lookin' at it...

-

Samus: Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a supervillain just so he could get beaten up all the time?

Link: Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked away. He starts following me down the street in broad daylight, yelling 'Punish me! Punish me!' I'm just saying 'No! Get lost.'

Samus: God. Whatever happened to him?

Link: Well, he pulled that on Snake, and Snake dropped him down an elevator shaft.

[pause, then both laugh]

Samus: Oh my god. That isn't even funny.

Link: [laughing] It is a *little* funny.

-

Snake: We need to squeeze people.

Link: [sarcastic] Sure. We'll pick them out of a phone book.

Snake: You forgot how we do things, Daniel. You've gotten too soft. Too trusting. Especially with women.

Link: No, listen, I am through with that! God, who do you think you are, Rorschach? You live off people while insulting them and nobody complains because they think you're a goddamn lunatic!

[Snake approaches Link, who sighs and turns to him]

Link: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that, man.

Snake: Link? You are a good friend.

[extends his hand and Dan takes it]

-

Wolf: Justice is coming to all of us, no matter what the fuck we do. You know, mankind's been trying to kill each other off since the beginning of time. Now, we finally have the power to finish the job. Ain't nothing gonna matter once those nukes start flying; we'll all be dust. And Ganondorf here will be the smartest man on the cinder.

-

Kirby: Will you smile? If I admit I was wrong?

Samus: About what?

Kirby: Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Wolf O’Donnell, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It's like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so... I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and let's go home.

-

Ganondorf: Do you see? It's your super powers retreating from war. I've saved the Earth from hell. We both have. This is as much your victory as it is mine. Now we can return. Do what we were meant to.

Snake: We were meant to exact justice! Everyone's gonna know what you've done...

Ganondorf: Will they? By exposing me, you would sacrifice the peace so many died for today.

Link: Peace based on a lie.

Ganondorf: But peace! Nonetheless.

Kirby: ...He's right. Exposing Adrian would only doom the world to Nuclear destruction again.

Samus: No... we can't do this.

Kirby: On Zebus, you taught me the value of life. If we hope to preserve it here, we must remain silent.

Snake: Keep your own secrets...

[the others look as Snake leaves, then Kirby and Ganondorf make eye contact]

Link: Don't even think about it.

[Goes after Snake]

Link: Snake! Wait.

Snake: [Turns] Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, Link.

[Leaves the building]

Ganondorf: I've made myself feel every death... see every innocent face I've murdered to save humanity.

[Turns to Kirby]

Ganondorf: You understand, don't you?

Kirby: Without condoning... or condemning. I understand.

Snake: [Outside, in the snow, Snake comes across a copy of Kirby standing in the snow] Out of my way. People have to be told.

Kirby: You know I can't let you do that.

Snake: Suddenly you discover humanity. Convenient.

[Takes off his bandana, given to him by Meryl, all those years ago]

Snake, accusingly: If you'd cared from the start, none of this would've happened.

Kirby: I can change almost anything... but I can't change human nature.

Snake: Of course, you must protect Ganondorf's new Utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well, what are you waiting for? Do it...

[Kirby hesitates]

Snake, tears in his eyes: DO IT!

[Kirby swallows Snake, condemning him into oblivion]

Link: NOOOOOOOO!

[Link falls to his knees, crying. Snake’s bandanna floats down to the snow covered ground, just another piece of fabric]

-

Kirby, sitting alone on the Moon: I am tired of Smashing. These Bros. I am tired of being caught in the tangle of their tournamnets.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Sollux: iit'2 2o 2ad that 2teve job2 diied of liigma

Eridan: wwho the hell is stevve jobs

Sollux: liigma ball2