#incorrect quotes deadpool

[hugsandchaos]

Deadpool: Oh, bisexual of mischief, what is your advice?

Deadpool:

Teen Loki: *comes out of the fireplace*

Teen Loki: If you can’t find a hottie to step on you, become that hottie and step on your significant other if they so wish.

Teen Loki: *leaves*

[captainmaxatx]

Laura: oh, nice flag!

Wade and Logan: SHHSSHHHHH!!!!!

Blind Al: you dumb gay fucks, I know you put a queer ass pride flag in the damn kitchen! Don’t know why you felt the need, everyone who comes in here already knows about you two gay fools!!

Laura: *looks back at the Canadian flag*

[stoeptepel]

Wade: "Sorry we're late, Logan was fingering me, and it left a wet mess, so I had to change."

Logan: "Stop describing it like that, I was stabbing him and he got blood on his clothes."

Wade: "Tomato, tomahto."

[lovethebadguy]

[incorrectanything]

Y/N: Can I go to the movies tonight?

Logan: Bub, I'm not your dad, you can do whatever the hell you want.

Y/N:

Y/N: Okay-

Logan: Be home by ten, don't talk to strangers, and remember to look both ways before crossing the road.

Y/N:

Logan: Here, ten bucks for popcorn.

[of-many-incorrect-quotes]

Logan: I cut my finger

Y/N: I can kiss it. That way it'll get better

Logan: *confused*That works?

Y/N: Yeah, my mum used to do it all the time when I was little

Logan: Huh…

*later*

Logan: I need you to punch me in the mouth

Wade: *has waited his whole life for this* I thought you’d never ask

[chiefblossom]

Logan: Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake

Laura: You're literally making a Valentines card for Wade.

Logan: *pointing a hot glue gun towards her* You are on thin fucking ice.

[taintedmind6669]

Wade: *stroking Logan’s hair* you’re so tiny.

Logan: *sleepily* I could beat the shit out of you.

Wade: *lovingly* I know.

[tadhannahj]

[arachpool]

Wade: My kink is doing stupid shit and watching Logan speed-run the five stages of grief as he realises that he still wants to fuck me.

[techwrecker]

[mourningliliesmorningglories]

James: there’s 206 bones in the human body

James: 207 if I’m watching the new Slytherin seeker

Sirius: what the fuck…

[super-marvel-dc]

Steve: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.

Bucky, Wade, and Y/N: Ok.

Steve: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.

Bucky: Bold of you to assume I have money.

Y/N: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.

Wade: Bold of you to assume I can die.

[incorrectanything]

Wade: Logan and I are having a baby!

Y/N: That's gre-

Wade, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.

[demigoddessqueens]

still rotating this movie around in my mind

Wolverine: I wasn’t that drunk last night

Deadpool: you asked them if they were single

Wolverine: so?

Deadpool: and then cried when they said they weren’t!!

Y/n: why are Wade and Logan sitting against each other?

Blind Al: they got into a fight

Y/n: why are they holding hands?

Blind Al: they get upset after fights

Deadpool: I’ve been trying to call him for an hour but he’s not picking up

Y/n: here, let me try

Deadpool: right, like you’ll have better luck with —

Wolverine, picks up: hello??

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Wade: You’re dating Black Widow?

Y/N: What? You didn’t think she’d be my type?

Wade: I didn’t think she’d lower her standards.