#incorrect knb quotes

[elasgottoomuchfreetime]

*The gang is learning CPR on a test dummy*

Midorima: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?

Kise: No, Midorimacchi. They are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs.

Midorima: No, that’s not part of it—

Kise: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what kind of quality of life do we have there?

Murasakibara: I would want to live with no legs.

Kise: How about no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Murasakibaracchi. You don’t do anything.

Midorima: All right, well, lets get back to it. ‘Cause you’re losing him.

Kise: *pumps frantically*

Midorima: Okay, too fast. Everyone, we need to pump at a pace of a 100 beats per minute.

Kise: Okay, that’s uh, hard to keep track. How many is that per hour?

Kuroko: How’s that gonna help you?

Kise: I will divide and then count to it.

Kuroko: …right.

Midorima: Okay. Well, a good trick is to pump to the tune of ‘Staying Alive’ by the Bee Gees. Do you know that song?

Kise: Yes, yes I do. I love that song. *clears throat, begins to sing* First I was afraid, I was petrified.

[knb-incorrect]

Kuroko: I apologize if I am bothering you with this.

Lifeguard, pulling him to the shore: what..

[iwas-tooru]

inosuke: change is inedible zenitsu: uh, don't you mean inevitable? inosuke: *spits out coins* no i do not

zenitsu: tanjiro:

[kagamischain]

Kagami: Are you an idiot?!

Aomine: Yes.

Kagami: Shut up, don't try to deny- What?

Aomine: Did you really expect me to say no?

Kagami: I mean I didn't think you would agree with me?

Aomine: Fuck, you're right. Okay, ask again.

Kagami: Ready?

Aomine: Yes, go on.

Kagami: ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!

Aomine: NO, YOU ARE THE IDIOT!

Hyuga: What the fuck are they doing?

Riko: Don't mind them. Just two idiots hanging together.

[the-port-mafia]

Tengen, hungover: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was King of the Ducks

Rengoku: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of the Ducks

[mcverse]

Incorrect quotes?

You: I dunked before, went over Kuroko’s head like a bird babe a bird

You: I even have the video to prove it here look *holds up phone*

Kise: *actually believes you but sees a video of kittens* *cue dramatic betrayal face*

You: I’m this short, be for real Kise

You: But on the real I have dunked before

Kise : You just said ——

You: With assistance. *show videos *

You: Here’s me using Koganei face

You: Here’s me using Mitobe back, missed both times

You: At this point Kagami got annoyed and dunked the ball with me attached

You: Technically I still dunked

[kurokonobrainrot]

Part 13

[evelhak]

Aomine's turn.

[kaitoknb]

[texting]

Aomine: i’m gongig t.o go rst

Kuroko: What.

aomine would totally spell horribly over text

[takaobestboy]

Aomine: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.

Midorima: You people already know too much about me.

Takao: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

[sweetlikesuga]

Hinata: Just need to go to the bathroom real quick.

Sugawara: Don‘t take too long, the game will start in 20 Minutes and you haven‘t warmed up yet!

Five minutes later, Hinata is lost and somehow ended up in the basketball section.

Kagami: Oi, are you lost or something?

Hinata, scared to death: you have split eyebrows!!

Kagami: huh?

[elasgottoomuchfreetime]

Midorima: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Murasakibara will and will not eat.

Takao: Grass? Yes!

Himuro: Moss? Yes.

Takao: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Himuro: Shoelaces? Strange but true.

Takao: Worms? Sometimes!

Himuro: Rocks? Usually not.

Takao: Twigs? Usually!

Himuro: Momoi's cooking? Inconclusive.

Kagami: How did you… test this?

Takao: You just hand him stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if he eats it, he eats it.

Kise: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Aomine: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

[knb-incorrect]

Akashi: What's everyone for Halloween?

Kuroko: I'm gonna be superman

Kise: A clown!

Midorima: So I'm guessing we don't need to get you a costume then?

[wildflowertips]

how thoughtful 🥹

[kagamischain]

Kise: So, where do you work?

Starbucks employee:

Starbucks employee: Sir, are you trying to play a game?

[rossivette]

Kuroko no Basket

incorrect quotes

kagami, who didnt sleep the night before and is sleep deprived: kuroko, can I ask you a question?

kuroko: shoot.

kagami:

kagami: okay. *shoots his basketball and makes it*