#incorrect jedi padawan

[crashlanding-skywalker]

[Obi-wan chilling with the 212th in a scape-pod after blowing up a whole Republic fleet]

Force ghost Qui-gon: Obi-wan...

Obi-wan: Oh no, "Obi-wan" in B flat.

Obi-wan: You're disappointed.

[obes-kenobes-benos]

Mace: Some padawans might have gotten into a bar brawl.

Tholme: Well, that was entirely predictable.

Mace: One of them punched a gang member.

Tholme: Quinlan?

Mace: Obi-Wan, actually.

Tholme: Oh, that was going to be my second guess.

[darth-kote]

Qui-Gon: Padawan, I need you to return to the Archives and- Obi-Wan [long drawn-out sigh]: Master Nu already said the holocrons and scrolls won't hold any information on Master Yoda's species. Qui-Gon: ... that's.. not what I'm researching. Obi-Wan: You can't live forever, Master. [breezing out of the room] Qui-Gon: watch me.

[totallycorrectjediorderquotes]

Ahsoka: Is it true that whoever wins in a fight against you becomes the Master of the Order?

Mace:

Mace: Yeah?

Cal: Can we fight you for it?

Mace: It’s a shitty job though

Mace: No one should want this job

Mace: Why would you want this job?

Ahsoka: Bragging rights?

Cal: I want to outrank Master Fisto!

Mace: Yeah, good enough

Mace: Cal, rock paper scissors me for it

[curlygirlybitchachos]

Padawan Reader

Cody: Y/n's at that very special age when a teenager has only one thing on their mind.

Obi-wan: Love?

Cody, smiling: Homicide.

Obi-wan, shocked: what?

[incorrectskywalkers]

more disaster lineage cal au incorrect quotes because i really want to write a fic about this but writer's block be damned so i'm doing this instead

~~~

Anakin: I lost Cal. Obi-Wan: How did you LOSE Cal?! Anakin: To be fair, he is very small.

~~~

Obi-Wan, watching Cal do something stupid: Anakin, you're officially only the second highest risk here. Anakin: Hell yeah! I'm gonna— Obi-Wan: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

~~~

Obi-Wan: Cal, please get that hideous thing out of the living room, would you? Cal, to Anakin: Obi-Wan wants you to get out of the house.

~~~

Anakin, to Cal: Okay, I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died- Cal: Twelve, actually. Anakin: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that? Cal: Yours. Anakin: That's right, no one's. Also don't tell Obi-Wan about this.

~~~

Anakin: What’s wrong? You look 10 seconds away from ripping someone’s throat out. Obi-Wan: Cal and Ahsoka were trying to invoke one of the minor gods again last night. I didn't get an ounce of sleep, thanks to their bloody chanting.

~~~

Cal: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective? Ahsoka: *crouches down* Obi-Wan: *kneels down* Anakin: *sits on the floor* Cal: Cal: I hate all of you.

~~~

Anakin, driving and singing to the Little Einsteins theme song: We’re going on a trip- Cal: In our favorite piece of shit! Ahsoka: Doing 95! Obi-Wan: We’re going to kriffing die!

[oftenlyshitposting]

*ezra and sabine sibling-arguing heatedly*

shin: ...what's going on?

ahsoka: entertainment

hera: more like repeated history, i say

shin: what? what do you mean?

jacen: they're doing the 2nd mandalorian-jedi war

ezra & sabine: ENOUGH OF THAT JOKE

shin: you're right, 'soka, it is entertainment

[bibannana]

Qui-Gon *looking at a sign while stroking his beard*: It's a sign from the force.

Mace *blinks and re-reads the sign*: Uh no this sign is from a bar? About half off drinks??

Qui-Gon *inputting the co-ordinates of the bar*: A truely compelling sign.

Kit *turning the speeder around*: Has me convinced.

Plo *shrugs*: Completely convincing.

Taglist: @soliloquy-of-nemo @nekotaetae @staycalmandhugaclone @jiabae @sexy-rex

[gringle-pringle]

Been reading Star Wars Fan fiction lately and I need to share this idea.

Corusant. Between episodes 1 and 2.

Imagine. You’re a newly knighted Jedi about to be debriefed for a mission with your two fellow knights and master Obi-wan Kenobi arrives with a little 13 year old Anakin trailing behind him who looks to have a sour expression over something. So Obi-wan begins to explain the mission to you and your friends.

But as obi-wan begins to gesticulate, talking about the politics and culture of the planet you’re visiting you notice the little golden-haired boy put on a very serious expression and begin to copy his master tit for tat. He ever got the beard stroke down to a science. You try to keep a straight face. You really do. But luckily your friend, Illumna breaks first, snickering. Obi-wan’s brow furrows in confusion, hands on his hips, “is something funny?”

The Padawan furrows his own brows, arms akimbo in a perfect copy and it’s just too funny, you break, bending over with laughter, and suddenly your two friends are cracking up alongside you. Obi-wan looks completely confused, looking around before turning around and staring pointedly at his padawan who stood in model deferential position, a look of pure innocence on his face before his master turned around.

“Anakin.” Obi-wan raised a suspicious eyebrow, “Why are my three jedi knight debrief-ees laughing in hysterics?”

Anakin shrugged, lips pursed, “I haven’t the faintest.”

[crashlanding-skywalker]

Anakin: You call it outfit repeating

Anakin: I call it strong branding

Anakin: If I had to throw a birthday party tomorrow and ask everyone to dress exactly like me

Anakin: they know exactly what to wear, okay?

Anakin: I have a default Sim outfit and I'm not ashamed of that.

[thechaoticfanartist]

Palpatine think he has Grim figured out but there is nothing to figure out.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlinkedd @milfspectre1 @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @roseofalderaan @keoxus  @tranakin-thighhighwalker @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @purgetrooperfox @amelia-song-pond @kohtoyah @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo

[jewishcissiekj]

as much as I like Cavan Scott and Dooku: Jedi Lost I can not wrap my head around Ky Narec willingly staying on Rattatak with A FORCE-SENSITIVE CHILD HE SHOULD'VE TAKEN TO THE TEMPLE for like about 20 years because he thinks he should be in exile??? I might have misunderstood it but that's such an insane concept. What would make him do that.

[sinvulkt-moeta]

[sunflower-chai]

THANK YOU the acolyte for disproving the “jedi steal kids” sentiment held by so much of the fandom. they ask for permission from a guardian before children can be tested! and even if they pass it is their choice to go or not!

also thank you for giving me more physically affectionate jedi!! other than kanan and ezra, and one time with anakin and ahsoka after ahsoka literally died, i feel like we never see masters hug their padawans. sol and osha’s hug gave me LIFE.

really curious about what exactly the coven on brendok is. they don’t seem to be nightsisters yet they call themselves witches. they seem a little sus since they discourage osha from going into/learning about the outside world, which feels slightly cultish. but also mother aniseya clearly loves her girls and they clearly love her. she does not physically harm them (other than the force push during the training exercise) and she is warm and nurturing. it’s very complicated and i hope the show delves into that further. also what is it with force-sensitive children not having fathers?? lol.

i liked the contrast of mae wanting to share everything with osha while osha wants to discover who she is as an individual, creating some interesting tension in their relationship. i also feel like mae was a really good example of what unhealthy attachment actually looks like. if she cannot have osha, no one can. and she does not care about the potential repercussions for everyone else. i think mae might have realized she went too far near the end when she begged osha to jump over to her, but then she fell and it was too late. and her hatred for the jedi has twisted her mind so much that she does not blame herself for what happened but projects it onto them. they are the ones who wanted to take osha away. they are the reason osha is (presumably) dead. she is not at fault. they forced her hand.

it’s a really intriguing thought process, and i’m wondering where it came from. has mae always been this way? did the ascension ceremony change her nature in some way? this sort of goes back to my questions about the coven. mother aniseya said they were exiled for using “dark” powers. so are they dark side users? it’s interesting how they refer to the force as “the thread” and place more emphasis on individual agency over destiny (i.e., “the will of the force”). but mother aniseya also criticizes those who see the force as a “power” to wield rather than something that connects the galaxy. which is just… misinformed? the jedi also don’t see the force as a power? literally “the force surrounds us. it penetrates us. it binds the galaxy together.” so maybe they have some incorrect assumptions.

wondering if mae’s current master finds her on brendok after the fire. i feel like that would make sense. she’s eight years old and the only person left alive on the planet, she would need someone to find her. and continue to cultivate that hate within her and form her into the living weapon she is today.

[awkward-tension-art]

Darkness on Umbara Chp.1 (Rex x Reader)

Hey everyone! guess whose in too deep!? me! I've clung to these fictional copy-paste men so much, you can call me a fucking LEECH!

Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5. Chapter 6. Chapter 7. Chapter 8. Chapter 9. Chapter 10. Chapter 11. Chapter 12. Chapter 13. Epilogue

Landing on Umbara

cw: Rex x Reader, Reader is a medic, incorrect military procedure, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, swearing, death and battle, Spoilers for the Umbara Arc, reader insert, reader is gender neutral, no use of (Y/N), if i miss a tag LMK

This is very briefly proofread so I die like a man

Minors DNI, even if theres no smut

Umbara was dark. From what you gathered, it was extremely fucking dark. 

You prepared your supplies with Kix. As medics, you both needed to double and triple check every pack, case and box. 

Kix would be on the front. His expertise was more front line first-aid rather than your position behind the forces. He would keep the men alive long enough to get to your hands where you’d focus on the more intense medical care. While you would be armed to defend yourself, it was better if you stayed out of the line of direct fire.

Your safety and position were tied to the status you were given. As a natural born human in the GAR, your life was inherently seen as more important than the clones. This thought process was something you were vehemently against. You and your fellow soldiers were on equal ground. You’ve always tried to treat them with respect, kindness and patience.

On several occasions nat-borns would disrespect or belittle clones in your presence, which usually resulted in a verbal lashing from you. Much to the joy of your General Anakin and his padawan Ahsoka. 

And the affection of a certain Captain Rex.

You peered up from looking over the medical supplies you were supposed to carry. Currently your secret lover was across the hangar meeting with the Jedi generals, ARC troopers and commander of the 212th. 

Despite being in his helmet, you knew you caught his eye. Rex didn’t give anything away except a small movement of his hand. Something Fives didn’t miss, who gave you a small wave.

He knew of your relationship with Rex. So did Anakin. But other than those two, it was secret. All for his protection, as clones were forbidden from romantic partners.

There was a surge of energy in the hangar and you looked around. Your eyes met Kix’s before you nodded to him, “Showtime.” The first wave was loading up ready to get to Umbara’s surface. 

“I’ll keep Rex safe until you touch down.” Your medic friend winked at you before he stood, got his helmet on and got to his transport. 

Scratch that, Kix knew about you and the captain too. 

Several of the gunships lifted, flying from the hangar down to the planet below. The first wave of troops, including ARF troopers, were being sent down to clear the field. From there, a second wave of back-up, your wave, would join them. Your command was temporary. All you had to do was get them to the ground before they took orders from Rex and Anakin.

You adjusted your gauntlet with the communicator on it. T-minus 5 minutes. Your fingers danced over your supplies, double-checking everything you had. 

Bandages, tourniquets, laser cauterizers, laser scalpel, bacta, patches, emergency suture kits…

“Ready, doc?” A trooper, Ringo, took you out of your thoughts.

With a nod, you lifted your pack and stepped up onto the gunship, “Ready. Let’s load up.”

Others followed your orders and soon, you were in the sky above Umbara. 

Despite the first wave’s efforts, chaos still reigned. Almost immediately your gunship was assaulted by artillery fire. A shot exploded next to you, shaking the entire air vehicle. A ship to the west of yours burst into an explosion of flames.

In response, your second hand shot up for stability. A trooper had their hand on your shoulder to help keep you steady. After a moment, the transport stabilized and you let go, stepping to the back where a crate of supplies waited.

“Dare, how close are we?” You chimed on your communicator. Hopefully you didn’t startle the pilot.

“Landing in 30, I can’t get to the landing site, so you’ll have to walk some to the staging area,” he responded.

“Play it safe,” You commanded, “Land where you can. And try not to crash, I like living and I'm sure the other men do too.” A couple of clones snickers in their helmets. Your little quip helped ease the atmosphere it seemed.

You prepared a speeder. The small vehicle had been modified to carry a patient and allow you to transport extra medical supplies. It was outfitted with some extra armor and protection as well, so in an emergency you could activate a rayshield at the cost of the vehicle's speed.

“Doc, landing in 10.”

“Good job.” You spoke into your communicator before getting on the speeder. You counted down in your head, and just as you got to 1, the doors opened. 

The troopers unloaded, guns ready. Shots were fired, though it didn’t seem as concentrated. Explosions were going off, but at a relatively safe distance. Seemed the first wave did a better job than you originally thought. Your speeder got to the ground, and you made your way to the staging area with the rest of the men.

The battalion had established some trenches, allowing a brief moment of rest and preparation for everyone. You stopped right at the small medical area Kix had skillfully established. Already there were injured in the double digits. Without pause, you got to work.

“You nearly missed the party,” Kix snarked, handling a blaster burn on the thigh of a shiny.

“I’d call this fashionably late,” you quipped back, getting your hands on a different soldier. Blood was seeping from the bottom of his damaged helmet, staining his blue and white chestplate in red. Your mind kicked into training, “What's your name?” You asked, voicing a kinder tone. 

The poor clone was clearly in agony, responding with a tremor to his words, “S-Stag.” He swallowed, trying to control his mental state.

These damn soldiers liked to pretend everything was fine. 

“Alright Stag, I’m gonna remove your helmet.” 

He didn’t argue when you pulled it off revealing the extent of the damage. 

Severe blaster burn. Missing eye. Jaw visible. Shrapnel from the helmet had pierced his cheek and temple. Concussion possibly. 

His remaining brown eye looked wildly at you. You recognized fear. terror.

So, you gave him a reassuring soft smile, “Not too bad, I’ve dealt with worse.” Your fingers quickly wrapped around an injector filled with painkillers, “Here, I’m gonna give you something to help with the pain.” Your words seemed to have a positive effect because he nodded and let you treat him.

You worked quickly and efficiently, stemming the bleeding and getting him stabilized. When you were finished, he had calmed down considerably. Once Stag was stable, you moved on to the next trooper. 

By the fifth, you realized one of them couldn’t be saved.

He was a shiny. Barely off Kamino you guessed. The plastoid of his chest piece looked to be shattered and singed from a bolt to the chest. His breathing was shaky as he leaned against the dark trunk of a glowing tree. 

“I need a trooper.” you called taking the soldier’s hand in your own. You learned quickly into the war that the clones always wanted to die with a brother near them. A reminder that they weren’t alone.

“I hope I’m good enough.” 

That voice. 

“Rex,” Your head turned, looking up at him. You wished you could smile, but you had to keep your excitement under a mask. Plus, the situation didn’t call for it.

His warm eyes were on yours as he pulled off his helmet and knelt. There was clear sadness, knowing that this was the end for one of his men. So the only thing he could do was offer comfort.

“Fyre.” The captain spoke softly, “You did well.” He put one armored hand on the dying man's shoulder. 

Wordlessly, you gave Fyre a shot for the pain and held his hand, “Everything is alright now.” you whispered to him. This wasn’t uncommon, when you or Kix were too late to save someone. 

At the beginning you would burn through supplies trying to save everyone, only to fail and lose them anyway. Over the course of the war, you knew to recognize when all you could do was ease their pain and let them slip away. 

It was the grim reality of the war. You couldn’t save them all. 

Fyre coughed and squeezed your hand. His eyes closed and the clone took his last breath. 

“Damnit.” you swore, checking his pulse. You only felt stillness. He was gone.

Rex sighed, “You tried. So, thank you,” He stood and helped you stand. He couldn’t let his grief from the loss overwhelm him, “I wish you stayed on the ship.” The clone captain admitted, “I get the feeling Umbara is going to be brutal. More so than previous battles.”

“You can’t get rid of me so easily,” Your eyes quickly scanned around. No one seemed to be close enough or paying attention to the two of you, “My darling.” you added, interlocking your fingers.

Your lover looked around quickly before he responded quietly, “Mesh’la, be careful what you say.” Despite his warning, he made no move to pull away. In fact, he stepped closer, “For now, at least.”

Of course, you knew the two of you had to reign in your love and affection in front of others. On the battlefield he was the captain and you the field doctor. Trying to push those boundaries would stress him out. Afterall, if his romance with you got to Kamino, they’d call for a decommission. Something Anakin would never go for, but better safe than sorry.

However, he warmed to small touches and brief moments whenever the situation allowed. 

Your lips had a small smile, “I’m glad you're not hurt.” you raised one palm to stroke the side of his helmet. The battle wasn’t even an hour in and already his armor was dirty.

“Promise me you’ll be careful.” Rex murmured, keeping his voice down, “Please, ner kar’ta.” He was being protective again. Normally the captain was better at prioritizing. He was the leader of the battalion first and your lover second. But right now he seemed…spooked. Were things getting bad already? 

Umbara must be getting to him. After all this assault was much different than other battles.

“I’ll promise if you promise,” Your lips quickly pecked his visor. It was chaste and fast, so no one could see. Just a sweet kiss between the two of you.

He was about to respond when his communicator went off. 

“General Skywalker,” Your lover pulled back and raised his wrist up. 

“Come find me, I need the status of our men.” Anakin’s voice sounded on the other end, “and tell our good doctor I said hello.” 

You snorted.

“Right away, General.” the clone captain said, returning to his professionalism. He looked at you one more time before stepping away to find the jedi.

You sighed, “Back to work.” Without waiting a second, you found another injured soldier and began to treat him.

Your eyes glanced at the shadowy sky for a moment, unable to shake the pit in your stomach. It felt like something was deeply wrong.

The darkness on Umbara must already be getting to you too.

[oftenlyshitposting]

sabine: i've been told that i have a really unique way of lighting up the rooms i enter

shin: .... and that is a really unique way of telling us you are a pyromaniac arsonist

ezra: you literally have ten arson charges, sabine