#incorrect armed detective agency

[mackerel22]

Fukuzawa: And, as always, here's your weekly reminder that therapy and other psychiatric services are covered by the ada healthcare plan.

Dazai:

Dazai, whispering to Kunikida: Why does he always look at me when he says that?

[exymylove]

Kunikida: I currently have seven empty notebooks, and I have no idea what to put in them. Any suggestions?

Dazai: Put spaghetti in them.

Kunikida: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you.

Ranpo: Put spaghetti in them.

Kunikida: I am currently taking suggestions from everyone but you two.

Yosano: Put spaghetti in them.

Kunikida: I am no longer taking suggestions.

[chuuyaxsupremacy9]

Dazai: good morning, chibi! You look beautiful today

Chuuya, blushing: wha—

Dazai: April fools!

Chuuya:...oh...

Dazai, panicking: you look beautiful everyday

Chuuya: ...OH—

[need-a-name-101]

Mori: Chuuya keep an eye on Dazai today he is going to say something to the wrong person and get himself punched

Chuuya: sure I’d love to see Dazai get punched

Mori: try again.

Chuuya: I will stop Dazai from getting punched

[fairybonesandstardust]

ranpo after coming out to fukuzawa as gay and telling him he has a bf standing there nervously:

fukuzawa who thought ranpo was out but never said anything because that was ranpo business and now has no idea what to do (he clocked ranpo and poe as dating within 2 minutes of seeing them together): ………ok? congratulations?

ranpo hugging him and crying: i had no idea how you would react, i was so scared about this going wrong

fukuzawa staring at ranpo because he definitely introduced ranpo to his significant other on multiple occasions, he has a mini lesbian flag yosano gave him years ago sitting on his desk, and ranpo has most definitely heard him talking to kyouka about gender: ……….

[radvelvetcakez]

Kunikida: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. Dazai: Mine just says "Dazai no." Kunikida: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

[daimadiamante]

Kunikida: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. ADA: Awwww- Kunikida: And I tell myself "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." ADA: Oh.

[inamagicalhallucination]

do u guys remember my grounded post

well im thinking about it again so

fukuzawa: considering that you all disobeyed orders and fought with the mafia i am hereby...

ada: *tense silence*

fukuzawa: grounding you.

junichiro:

junichiro: can- can you do that?

kunikida, trying not to cry: president i will never let you down

dazai:

kyouka: i... was grounded before

kenji: what does grounded mean

naomi: wait am i included in this

yosano: no one here knows wut grounded is

fukuzawa: oh is that so

ranpo: dummies

junichiro: i- i know what grounded means

kunikida: i too know what it means and it's a dishonorable thing to go through but alas i will go through this punishment-

dazai: ...grounded...

atsushi: i think i know... what grounded means

ranpo: i doubt it

atsushi:

atsushi: i think ive been grounded before

kyouka: me too

atsushi: its when they nail you to the floor right? its pretty painful... but i guess since-

kunikida, shouting: that IS NOT WHAT GROUNDED MEANS ATSUSHI WHAT THE FUCK

junichiro, pale: one day im going to learn something about you and it will be happy

naomi, also pale: doesn't have to be happy, just okay

kyouka: i think ive been grounded wrong then

kenji: that sounds awful!!

fukuzawa: atsushi, please report to yosano for a check up. again. also that is not what i mean by grounding.

atsushi: ...oh

atsushi: then i don't know what grounding means

dazai, patting his head: don't worry atsushi-kun. it made sense to me

[flamie-42]

Joint Missions

*ADA and PM joint mission* Atsushi: Ok I think we got all of them. Akutagawa: yeah, thanks for your help weretiger Kunikida: what's up with those two? Hirotsu: *draws a heart with fingers* Kunikida: for fucks sake *facepalms* ... Kunikida: *looks around* wait where's Dazai Hirotsu: you don't wanna go looking for him, mate. Kunikida: *suspicious* why? Hirotsu: do you see Chuuya anywhere? Kunikida:...OH Hirotsu: yeah... Kunikida: *sighs* alright. Atsushi! Stop flirting with the mafioso. DAZAI! Get the fuck out here! We are heading home! Atsushi: *flustered* I wasn't flirting Kunikida-san! Dazai: *walks around a corner with an unbuttoned shirt and blushed face* I'm here, ready to head out! Kunikida: I'm disappointed in both of you. Atsushi: *looking shyly over his shoulder at Akutagawa* Dazai: *smirking and waving at an equally unkempt Chuuya* Kunikida: am I the ONLY one who isn't fucking the mafia! Dazai: I can help you get a date if you want~ *gets punched*

Part 3 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 1

[forthetaintedmemes]

Dazai: Fukuzawa can we keep this orphan?

Fukuzawa: That's not a good idea.

Dazai: He turns into a big cat.

Fukuzawa: Lead with that next time. Obviously he needs us.

[beebeeswee]

not only are poe and ranpo dating, they're both completely obsessed with each other. ranpo will proudly use his 'ultra-deduction' to let the armed detective agency know that he knows they're all jealous of him.

ranpo: i've used my ultra-deduction to determine that poe is the best boyfriend by every conceivable measure, therefore you are glaring at me in defeat, because i have won! i have the best boyfriend!

the rest of the agency who has had to hear about poe's newest mystery novel in excruciating detail for the past hour: ...

[mackerel22]

Dazai: Kunikida and I get along perfectly. Don't we, Kunikida?

Kunikida: I have never been so stressed in my entire life.

[exymylove]

Kunikida: Why did you get here so late?

Atsushi: Well…

Dazai: We were in the elevator for fifteen minutes panicking thinking we were stuck

Dazai: Only to find out that neither of us pushed the button

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*early on in the ADA*

Kunikida: *chokes on something*

Yosano: Jeez, Kunikida, don't die on us.

Kunikida: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

Yosano:...

Ranpo:...

Kunikida:.. I apologize, that was instinctive.

[welivetodream]

Dazai: We're like a big happy family! And I am the dad, and Kunikida's the mom!

Kunikida: why am I the mom? What gender roles are we pushing here?

Atsushi: I know they are probably thinking I am the son. But I am not. I will be the gay emo cousin.

Junichiro: I will be the son, that hotshot whose only dream is...to be a star✨

Ranpo: I feel like I'll be a fresh out of jail uncle

Yosano: and I am the sassy aunt, who talks shit about everyone

[doublesuicide19]

[Dazai @Atsushi texts]