#bungou stray dogs incorrect quotes

[iwanttohugsigma]

Dazai: *Flips a coin* Heads you kiss me, tails we make out.

Chuuya: *Makes coin float away*

Dazai:

Dazai: Alright, we’re fucking.

[f1ght-or-flight]

Dazai, in a high voice, holding Barbie: hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Chuuya, in a deep voice, holding Ken: nonsense Barbie. You're staying home and having my kids

Kouyou: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Dazai, still holding the Barbie: playing systematic oppression

[chuuyaxsupremacy9]

Dazai: realises that he is in love with chuuya

Dazai: I'm supremely fucked

Dazai: and I also want to be supremely fucked

[candysmiles373]

Atsushi: "You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?"

Kunikida: "Several traffic violations."

Yosano: "Three counts of resisting arrest."

Ranpo: "Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks." <-- Drank all of them.

Dazai: "Also, that's not our car."

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Incorrect Quote

*some time in the future* Chuuya: Looking good today, Dazai Dazai: We've been married for three years, Chibi. You don't have to call me by my surname anymore. Chuuya: Huh? *turns away from the mirror to face his husband* Oh, I was talking to myself.

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*early on in the ADA*

Kunikida: *chokes on something*

Yosano: Jeez, Kunikida, don't die on us.

Kunikida: Don't tell me what to do, I'll die whenever the hell I want!

Yosano:...

Ranpo:...

Kunikida:.. I apologize, that was instinctive.

[b33sblog]

Atsushi: I owe you one.

Dazai:Thats ok. You can just date me.

————————-

Dazai: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. no response

Atsushi: wow they sound stupid

Dazai:But they’re not, they’re really smart actually just dense

Atsushi: Maybe you just need to be more obvious. Like I don’t know….”hey! I love you”

Dazai: I guess your right. Hey atsushi I love you

Atsushi: See! Just like that

Dazai: Holy fucking shit

Atsushi: if that flys over their head they are way to dumb for you dazai!

Dazai: Atsushi.

————————

Atsushi: so if you where in bed with me what would you do?

Dazai: that depends…..is your bed comfy?

Atsushi: I would like to say so.

Dazai: I would sleep.

———————-

[all-too-random]

BSD Incorrect Quotes

Chuuya: I’m going to take you out

Dazai: Great, it’s a date!

Chuuya: I meant that as a threat.

Dazai: See you at five!

[sakyira]

Dazai: We are taking this young lady hostage!

Chuuya: No. Overruled.

Dazai: I overrule your overruling

Chuuya: Must you be so difficult?!

[iwanttohugsigma]

Chuuya: How do we wake him up?

Dazai: True love’s kiss!

Chuuya: What?

Dazai: I kiss him and he wakes up.

Sigma: *Sits up* I’m awake! Don’t kiss me!

[emomarktwain]

INCORRECT QUOTE AS THINGS MY FAMILY HAS SAID (PART 20!)

John, walks into Lovecraft's room: glad to see you deciding to-

Lovecraft: No.

Lovecraft proceeds to cover himself in the entire blanket:

[darkreunioniscoming]

Head canon: Ranpo hates the dentist.

Kunikida whispering: how are we going to tell him!?

Dazai: I don't know!

Atsushi: What are you guys talking about?

Yosano: We have to bring Ranpo to the ahem-

Yosano as silently as possible: the dentist.

Atsushi: I don't see the problem?

Kunikida: Have you seen how many sweets he eats? It's literal hell when he goes to the dentist!

Fukuzawa: Ranpo.

Ranpo: Yeah?

Fukuzawa: We're taking you to the dentist.

Ranpo: No.

Fukuzawa: Too bad because either way you're going.

Ranpo: YOU CAN'T FORCE ME!

Fukuzawa: Yosano, we're going to have to strap him down to the car.

Yosano: Roger that.

Ranpo being dragged out of the Agency: PLEASE HELP ME! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Atsushi: Wow.

Dazai: Lets just hope he doesn't have any cavities or else we are in for a treat..

[rae-pss]

(y/n), at dazai's funeral: i need a moment with him.

everyone: of course. they leave

(y/n), leaning over dazai′s coffin: okay, listen here you little shit. i know you’re not dead.

dazai: yeah, no shit.

[knockyasocksoff2022]

Atsushi *trying to have the "define the relationship" talk with Ryuunosuke: So, uh, Ryuu, you know how I feel, at least I hope you do, but, uh, I really really like you *already red as a tomato* Akuatgawa: I feel that has already been established. Clearly, you are not such a pushover that you would choose to spend so much of your limited free time with someone you do not like, Jinko, much less share clothes, and food, assign them pet names, and engage in lengthy physical contact. (A/N: He means hugs, ofc, what else could he be talking about, get your minds out of the gutter lmao) Atsushi *somehow blushing more if that's even possible*: Well, duh, but like . . . What are we? Akutagawa *confused*: We are humans, Jinko. Have you hit your head? Atsushi: No, I mean yes, but no. No, I haven't hit my head, but yes I know I'm human. . . mostly. But what are we? Akutagawa: We are ability users. Atsushi *shakes his head, sighing, unsure of how to phrase it to make Ryuu understand*: Ugh, yes, that's true, but what are WE? Akutagawa: Your past may be something of a mystery but as far as I know we are both Japanese. Atsushi *a little frustrated now*: Ryuu . . . do you LOVE me, or not!? Akutagawa *even more confused now and a little sceptical*: Of course, but what does that have to do with your sudden existential crisis? Atsushi *sighs, feeling reassured*: Oh, nothing. Just shut up and kiss me. Akutagawa: Jinko, as I hear it, it is you doing most of the talking. Atsushi *steps closer, placing a finger over Ryuu's lips* Ryuu . . . Akutagawa *steps forward to meet him with a small but gently teasing smile as he cranes his neck so his lips meet his lover's*: Fine, do as you please, Atsu . . . you are after all my boyfriend.

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

Dazai, literally just existing:

Kunikida: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

[b33sblog]

Kunikida: It is so dark in here

Dazai: I got you man

Dazai: *stomps feet and sketchers light up*

——-

Dazai : Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? 
Atsushi : Oh, I’m always running 
Atsushi : The question is from what

——-

Dazai : Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-
Atsushi : Twelve, actually.
Dazai : Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?
Atsushi : Yours!
Dazai : That's right: no one's.

———

Dazai : Here's some advice
Atsushi : I didn't ask for any
Dazai : Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

————

Dazai : I can explain.
Atsushi : Can you?
Dazai : If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

——————

Dazai : I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.
Atsushi : Only if you also don't ask why
Atsushi : *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Dazai :
Atsushi :
Dazai : This one is fine

———

Btw I am working on the YouTube stuff