#including the person who actually inspired my name and made me feel way better about being openly genderqueer. like.

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

me spending two days in a row doing a Taxing Thing followed by a very long night out with people being social (something i know for being exhausting even though i enjoy it): why the fuck am i so exhausted

[leonslutkennedeeznuts]

The Wedding Date | Leon x Fem!Reader

"From the first meeting to rehearsal dinner everyone had fallen in love with him. Including you." | One-shot inspired by The Wedding Date (2005): Leon's an escort. You hire him and fall in love. (AO3)

It was an expensive, totally stupid impulsive thing to do- book a male escort as your wedding date to stick it to your ex (and nagging mother) that you weren’t a lonely, miserable spinster. You weren’t ugly or anything, just lazy with a specific plan- to rub it in your ex fiance’s face that you were 100% over him and moving on by “dating” someone way more attractive and totally smitten with you.

His name was Scott, or so he said as per his website details. He was 6 '0, clearly worked out, had dirty blonde hair in a boyband haircut and per his many reviews was a skilled lover- but that part was totally irrelevant to you. It had taken a few days to finally bite the bullet. Your career was stable, you had the money- it just made sense to go this route versus swiping on Tinder. You’d never done this before but were admittedly desperate. You needed a professional, someone that nobody in your friend group knew who could lie his way in and out of any conversations and questions they’d be sure to ask him.

He just had to look good, pretend to be in love with you, get paid and then fuck off never to be seen again when the wedding was over.

—

You’d met up with him at a bougie brunch spot on a Sunday afternoon, having chugged one mimosa with a shot of vodka before he even showed up to ease your nerves.

“This is the weirdest outcall I’ve ever been to,” he’d joked after introducing himself to you, his hands so soft and his cologne making you wet. “Nice to meet you, Y/N.”

Scott was funny, naturally charismatic and beautiful to look at. He clearly took care of himself and didn’t seem phased by your plan at all once revealed to him.

“Alright, we need to go over the questions they’ll ask you, about us, your life, yadda yadda,” you’d instructed him. You tried your best to be assertive and not give into the butterflies flying wildly inside your stomach. “This has to be very convincing.”

You had tried to rehearse his answers with him but Scott refused while gazing at you intently. You’d definitely need new panties after this but he didn’t need to know that.

Scott had said he’d prefer to see how everything worked out before accepting payment. This plot of yours amused him greatly, he had said as much several times. Nobody had ever hired him to be arm candy until you. He planned to enjoy every second of this.

“They’ll know I’m lying, sweetheart. It’s better to just wing it. Trust me, Y/N, I won’t let you down.”

And Scott didn’t let you down. He’d passed the “test” with flying colors. From the first meeting to rehearsal dinner everyone had fallen in love with him. Including you.

—

It was late one night after having to help with decorating the church and you just wanted to relax. One bottle of wine later and you were getting a little bold and very nosy about Scott’s personal life as he gave you an exquisite foot rub.

“I didn’t make it into the police academy. I was 21 years old in a new city with nowhere to go so I started stripping. Then stripping became this.”

You gave him a reassuring smile, your hand patting his shoulder while the other held a glass of sweet burgundy wine. Scott had chosen whiskey for himself. Wine gave him bad hangovers, he’d admitted. 

“I thought about being a stripper once,” you revealed. “I almost auditioned actually but my dancing is terrible without heels so with them on I’m sure I’d break my ankles.”

Scott laughed, as if he’d imagined you in a pair of clear heels attempting to dance around a pole and failing miserably. Making him laugh made you feel warm all over.

Conversations with him came naturally, he felt like an old friend. It was none of your business, truly but he’d answered you unashamedly. A part of you wished you’d met him under different circumstances for a chance at something real.

“Why aren’t you married yet, Y/N?” 

You definitely weren’t expecting him to ask that. Your previous relationship was still a sore subject- he’d been your highschool sweetheart and first love. With a job promotion and more money, your ex had wanted to date around and see what else was out there a few months after proposing.

“One day he just decided that he didn’t want me anymore,” came your solemn answer.

You took a big gulp of wine to keep from crying. This was the guy that you thought you’d be planning your wedding with at this age. Instead you hired a male escort that you developed feelings for. C’est la vie!

“What a fucking idiot, seriously. You’re beautiful, Y/N, inside and out. A total catch,” Scott asserted. “Dude is a loser for letting you go.”

That remark made you smile, bringing a feeling of peace that washed over you from within at his words. You really enjoyed being around Scott. He was damn good at what he did: making women feel desired. Even though this was his job, it just felt natural to lean in and kiss him so you did. To your surprise Scott kissed you back quite fiercely, the taste of whiskey on his tongue almost like a poison bringing you deeper under his spell.

“Let me take care of you tonight,” he’d offered.

Scott was indeed a skilled lover. 

He lifted you up effortlessly, laying you on the bed before teasing with kisses up and down your body. You were so wet it hurt and ached. Your clothes quickly became a crumpled up heap on the floor while he stayed fully clothed sans a shirt.

“Such a pretty pussy, baby.”

He never stopped touching or tasting you that night, making sure that you came hard on his face and with his fingers, refusing to let you return the favor. You rode his tongue to completion, let him flip you onto your back and bucked into his mouth almost crying at how good he made you feel.

“You taste so good, Y/N.”

Your ex had been selfish in bed, all about receiving and barely giving. You thought you’d had an orgasm before but now you knew better. Scott made you cum almost violently, begging, writhing and almost screaming every time he sucked your clit or filled you up with two or three fingers.

“Can eat you out all fucking night.”

You had to push his head away before he finally stopped, looking so pleased with his work as you watched him through heavily lidded eyes. He kissed you one last time, the taste of yourself on his tongue giving a sense of pride. This gorgeous man had dined on you like he’d never get enough, licking and eating your cum like it was a delicacy. You wanted to taste him too, to look into his eyes as he slid into you and fucked you so deep and hard that your headboard banged against the wall.

But instead, he cuddled you until sleep finally took over. 

—

Scott wasn’t there when you awoke the next morning.

You awoke in a panic, your head pounding as the events of last night started to replay in your head. Wine. Scott. Orgasms. Your thighs were sore.

“Shit,” you exclaimed. The wedding. Your wedding date. Scott. Was he going to show up now? Would it be too awkward? Was it all just a wine induced episode of lucid dreaming?

You hurriedly got out of bed and took a shower. The envelope with his payment was still in your dresser. Did he even know it was there? You tried to focus on everything but Scott on your drive to the venue, going through the motions of getting dressed and sitting still for makeup.

When it was time to walk down the aisle with your ex-fiance as part of the wedding processional, your eyes glanced around nervously looking for any signs of a GQ model with dirty blond hair sitting in the pews as you tried not to fumble with your bouquet too much.

This was the church you had always wanted to be married in. You had thought that your ex fiance was the one but now you knew otherwise. Walking down the aisle with him, even in this context, made you feel uneasy like you were cheating. You almost didn't see Scott giving you a thumbs up and blowing you a kiss when you finally stood with the other bridesmaids. It was embarrassing how your mood instantly lifted.

Everything was going to be okay. You'd convinced everyone that this was so real, you'd even convinced yourself. Once the wedding was over Scott would go back to his life and so would you. It was a painful thought.

It wasn’t until the wedding reception that you spotted him again. He was standing off to himself while most of the single ladies and a few men crowded the dance floor for the bouquet toss. His tuxedo fit perfectly and now that you knew how he looked shirtless, a part of you wanted to rip it right off.

You caught the bouquet purely by accident, not even paying attention until a blur of pink roses came into your peripheral. Scott’s eyes never left yours as he walked towards you, cool as a cucumber like on the day you met.

He leaned in to kiss you so intensely that your knees buckled. You heard your mom cheering the loudest. Your ex stormed off in a huff, clearly regretting his choice to let you go- convinced that this man kissing you was your new forever and not a paid actor. Scott had done his job perfectly, too perfectly. You tried not to look so crestfallen when the kiss ended.

—

The walk back to your car seemed to take forever, so much you wanted to say, so much was going unsaid but didn’t want to come across as that one creepy client who took things too far.

“Definitely a 5 star experience,” you stated honestly yet awkwardly avoiding his gaze, wanting to make light of it all. “I really can’t thank you enough Sco-”

“Leon,” he cut you off. “My real name is Leon.”

The tension in the air was thick. Was his name really Leon or was this another part of the act? Your mother was now convinced that Scott, well, Leon would propose someday. How were you going to explain that everything was all a lie?

Should you address the kiss, the amazing oral sex and show vulnerability? Or hand over the cash and move on? You just wanted a nice clean break, no more emotions to overly complicate things. He did his job, nothing more nothing less. It would hurt more to be rejected than to wonder what if.

“I can’t thank you enough, Leon.” You looked a little too long at his lips, wanting and wishing you had the courage to just lean in and close the gap between you two again and again.

Instead, you handed him the bouquet of flowers so you could reach into your clutch for his payment.

“You can count it now if you’d like. It’s all there, I promise.”

Leon tensed. His face which usually sported a knowing smirk or stoic expression now looked confused, almost disgusted. He didn’t reach out to take the envelope.

“Leon, you did exactly what I asked you for. Of course I’m paying you plus tip,” you said trying to sound calm yet internally freaking out. “Thank you for this.”

Thank you for eating me out so well that no other man will ever compare, you thought.

You were ready to drive home and cry into your pillows about what a mess you’d made- falling in love with your hired boyfriend who probably always had clients obsessed with him and unable to distinguish reality from fantasy.

“I don’t want your money, Y/N. I want you.” Leon took your envelope with his free hand and placed it back into your clutch. “God, that was cornier than it sounded in my head.”

Your mouth opened but nothing came out.

Confusion painted your face. Realization hit you afterwards but before you could think of what to say in response, his lips were on yours. The bouquet was forgotten on the ground as you let Leon take you into his arms, your heart threatening to beat out of your chest.

“Y/N, this has been real for me no matter how hard I tried to fight it. I love you.”

You felt like you were floating, the world beyond Leon in this moment failing to exist. 

"I love you, too. So much," you proclaimed proudly.

Leon slowly pulled away from you, his eyes taking you in. “I don’t do this, I don’t date or get too close but you, you’ve awakened something inside of me that I can’t live without.”

His hands gripped your ass and you felt the promise of more, thick hard and straining against his slacks. “And you have the sweetest pussy I’ve ever tasted,” he quipped.

With a laugh you gave his bulge a light squeeze, ready to finally consummate your relationship with the gorgeous man standing before you.

---

With each deep, slow, tortutous thrust you were crying out his name, his real name, over and over. Pathetically begging and pleading for Leon to fuck you harder. You'd never felt like this before, your body on fire with lust and greedy for more, more, more.

"Look at you, taking me so well like this," he whispered into your ear as you tightened and throbbed around his length. "Love you so much, so fucking much."

You were sucking him in to the hilt, nails digging into his back and biceps as you took every inch coating it in your slick.

"Fuck, Leon, love you too," you grunted out almost painfully. "Gonna cum, oh!"

Leon loosened the grip on your throat, kissing you lazily as you cried out his name cumming hard around him while he never stopped pounding into your tight, hungry cunt.

"There you go, baby, cum all over me." He ground his pelvis into you wanting to feel all your cum gushing out against him. "Wanna cum inside you, fuck!"

It was almost a whisper but you'd heard it and God, you wanted him to. Wanted him to fill you up so deeply that you'd feel it slipping out throughout the day.

"Yes, please cum inside, need it, Leon."

He looked into your glazed over eyes smirking at your blissful face knowing only he could make you feel this good, only he had taken the time to learn your body and make you cum with your whole body shaking and jerking against his.

With a few more hard, short thrusts Leon's hot cum started to fill you up. You instinctly wrapped your legs around his waist pushing him in even deeper, his balls throbbing against you as he emptied himself into your eager pussy.

"Mmm, are you ready for round three," he inquired against your sweated out hair.

He took you from behind, from the side, with you on top and even picked you up and fucked you hard and fast in his arms as you cried out your release.

The man's stamina was unmatched. You were a sweaty tangled mess of limbs not knowing where his body began and your body ended when he was finally done with you.

---

You quickly settled into domestic life quite easily. Leon moved in with you while mulling over his career options now that being a boyfriend for hire was over.

Leon had made you dinner to celebrate your recent promotion, your favorite meal of filet mignon and lobster tail. He'd mentioned in passing that he was letting the website domain expire soon to pursue his other dream: being a scuba diving instructor.

"Scott's Scuba School sounds good, right?"

You nodded, considering how often he went down on you without needing to come up for air. Yeah, he'd be an amazing scuba diver. Although using his previous alias gave you some pause. What if one of his past lovers recognized him and wanted more? Silly little insecure thoughts like that were becoming less usual as time went on.

If you'd thought Leon was an amazing hired boyfriend, he was even better without the promise of money. He refused to let you pay for anything or want for nothing. From having roses delivered to your office to cooking you dinner, planning out romantic date nights to making love to you until you begged him to stop. He was perfect and he was all yours.

"Best wedding date ever," Leon read aloud to himself, seeing the new notification popping up on his previous work phone. "So good you'll think he's really in love with you."

He shot you a knowing glance before giving you a slow lingering kiss. With the simple tap, his website and review page were deleted and his new, real life with you could truly begin.

[needlesandnilbogs]

writer asks! 13, 36, 81

ask game in question

13. talk about a writing experience that has pleasantly surprised you.

uhh... I have too much of a Complicated relationship with mirrorverse to totally call it pleasant, but it's nice that I've managed to stick with it and I'm still happy to write it most of the time, that should count?

really, a better answer might be the recent fic I published about mb going to the equivalent of the state fair, which popped mostly formed into my head, complete with both format and several lines already written, so it didn't feel like I was ever stuck on it! I liked that a lot lol

36. do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.

Sort of. I steal bits of outfits and personality from people I know for canon characters, but really the one-off OCs are more of real people. Two examples come to mind obviously: high school au mensah, who is very much my school's stage manager during my jr year, a senior who was like the epitome of coolness to me that year and remained enough of an inspiration to be a big part of HSAU Mensah, and Arden fairoak, a character I made up for a one-off mirrorverse thing who is now. not a one-off character. and also is very much based off my high school best friend.

the rest of the mirrorverse one-off OCs, excluding Arden's family who are all except for Bharadwaj named for local libraries, are named and loosely personality based off of historical figures or fictional characters, including: Caroline Bingley and Emma Woodhouse from Jane Austen books, Nikita Gill, Vikram Seth, Fabiola Cabeza de Baca Gilbert...

81. if you could go back in time and give your younger self a piece of writing advice specific to you, what would it be?

Okay, there's two answers to this. both apply to my past self in 7th-9th grade

Generically: Stop being embarrassed of your stuff, idiot. (Expanding slightly more on that, you're not going to be seen as stupid for writing fanfic and (tagging @kellumnights and @clustxr because they'll know who and what I mean and laugh) if kellum could literally do That Story and JdS could do Hot Day in Hotwrong about it, you could totally put your stuff in the writers guild magazine and not just rolls and role-players original flavor.)

extremely specifically, re a thing I started then which became my favorite original universe:

Dear Past!Prime!Bardic,

actually write down exploring frontiers, please. I want that stuff now and I want more than I put on paper.

relatedly, you did not need to write the whole boring story to introduce everyone before you wrote the fun chapter. but thank you (genuinely) for the seven paragraphs of auri lore that I needed in eleventh grade when I restarted it

you did not need to feel so embarrassed about Plory and Ara having A Thing. it was what you needed to write at the time.

stop naming characters after your irl cousins bc eventually they find it and mock you

don't name the main character after yourself. they might be a self insert but you'll make it ten times harder to share it when you're my age because then you have to check every snip and make sure you renamed [name] to Ampara every freaking place.

seriously. names. Ampara, not [name]. Danessa is good, keep that. Savfira is gonna become stupidly hard to get spellcheck to understand but it's fine. Zynnia's great. dump Ariya and find a better R name that still lets you use Rya as a nickname. Ladira, not Lady. also by the way you add a seventh house later.

love,

present!prime!Bardic (PS we change our name.)

[tinyozlion]

Gundam Wing: Minutia and Trivia

On my long and winding way down research rabbit holes, I often stumble on bits and pieces of trivia that I find quite interesting, but don't really fit anywhere in my usual commentary on Gundam canon and are far too niche and inconsequential to merit a post of their own. HOWEVER. Since I know in my heart that you, dear reader, are also the sort of person for whom background details of the absolute least consequential variety are a source of delight and inspiration, I am compiling some of my discoveries here, and perhaps if I find more, there will be follow up posts. This one happens to be, in a very loose sense, mostly about Romefeller, OZ, and its Special Eyebrow People, because that is where my brain worms are currently converging. Here is my collection of useless trivia. I lay them at your feet like weird pebbles. Look at them. They're neat.

1. The Daily Kingdom Newspaper

It's quite likely that this has already been done, but in the grand spirit of this blog, I have decided to take the path of highest effort for the stupidest reason, and transcribed this paper. This page of After Colony news, ostensibly from July 14th, A.C. 195, appears to be reporting on events that happened towards the end of World War II. It's apparently been a slow news day for the Sanc Kingdom press for several centuries. I found myself getting kind of wrapped up in the stories and was disappointed I couldn't turn the page and find out what happened next. (I mean, I know what happened next, broadly speaking.) Of particular interest were Henri and Camille Dreyfus, Swiss chemists who made a lot of innovations during both world wars. ...They were also apparently noted OZ supporters? Well, what can you expect from a big industrial supplier of*checks notes* acetyl intermediates.

2. The OZ doggy

Pictured below: Treize's well-heeled hunting pet

and a dog is there too *BA-DUM tsch!*

This spotty and behaved hound is a real breed of hunting dog, the German Short-haired Pointer, or GSP! Did you know this, dear reader? I did not know this. This is new Dog Lore to me.

from the wiki: "It is a pointer and retriever, an upland bird dog, and water dog. The GSP can be used for hunting larger and more dangerous game. It is an excellent swimmer but also works well in rough terrain. It is tenacious, tireless, hardy, and reliable. German Shorthaired Pointers are proficient with many different types of game and sport, including trailing, retrieving, and pointing pheasant, quail, grouse, waterfowl, raccoons, opossum, and even deer."

Seems like a perfect bird-hunting companion for Mr. Treize. She'll probably go retrieve the beautiful red phoenix he murdered. I've decided she's named Oscar (after the Rose of Versailles) and she is a very good girl. Braver Oscar! Braver Hund!

3. Luxembourg Castle

This is Treize's abandoned Disney castle in Luxembourg. I owe the background artists of this scene an apology, for in my heart I assumed this was a random assemblage of spare castle-parts they found at Ludwig II's rummage sale. Reader, I was wrong:

THIS is Schloss Viandin, a restored castle in Luxembourg. Look at this place, it's gorgeous! You can hardly tell there's a secret mobile suit bunker in the basement. Frankly, I'm jealous I'm not being confined there, Treize! Stop sulking in the catacombs and go relax in the pretty princess bed until you feel better. Gaze upon the signed picture of Patrick Swayze; let him inspire you.

4. Romefeller's Secret

This one comes to us from the Battlefield of Pacifists manga, which, I've learned, is pretty good actually. (I mean it's not GOOD good, but it contains some interesting stuff). Now, come: I am taking you with me on this journey:

I feel extremely vindicated knowing that there's semi-canonical support for my theory that the Romefeller aristobrats are Austrian. I knew it. I KNEW IT. According to this manga, Romefeller was officially founded in Vienna-- the wording is a little ambiguous in this translation, but if Romefeller had members joining it in 1862, then it had to have existed in some form since then-- which means that the "Glorious Year" of 1956 is something other than its founding date. So what exactly happened in 1956? As I am a hack and fraud, and have been one all my life, I have looked to wikipedia for guidance. Mostly what was happening was the Cold War, colonialism, uprisings, Elvis, research and debate over artificial intelligence, both the hard drive disk and the snooze-button alarm clock being invented, Japan joining the UN, and wait what's this--

COMPUTER, ENHANCE:

...My god...

It's all coming together.

Eurovision is a plot by Romefeller.

The evidence is all here. There is simply no other conclusion we can come to.

--For this, and many other reasons that are well beyond the scope of a fandom blog, you should probably boycott them.

I rest my case.

5. The Romefeller Coat of Arms

I'm no vexillologist, and my heraldic experience is limited to adoptable pixel dragons, but what I am is an insane person with too much time on their hands. And so, to the best of my ability, I have blazoned the Romefeller coat of arms:

Supporters: Two Unicorns Rampant 

Crown: Purpur Crown of Peerage or Lord of Parliament  

Escutcheon: Heater with Two Engrailed Wedge Top - party per pale (halved vertically)

Blazon: Sinister (Right): Argent, Bend Sinister Sanguine; Dexter (Left): Bleu Celeste, Charged with a Ringed (or Celtic) Cross Argent 

Motto Scroll: UPRTUN or UPRTVN

--I don't know what UPRTVN is meant to stand for, but there are truly SO many ways you could play Latin Mad Libs and get a reasonable-sounding answer. At a stab, knowing Romefeller's priorities and values, I would guess it probably contains a, you know, "Unity/Peace/Rule/Tradition/Victory/Necessity", "Unity Through The Rule of Tradition Is Our Victory", or some such deeply worrying thing. Take your pick really.

6. "Herbst" / "Autumn"

The Rilke poem Treize quotes in "Frozen Teardrop" is not terribly difficult to find online, but if you're not sure what you're looking for it can be difficult because he has multiple poems about Autumn, and Autumn Day is perhaps better known; also the internet is absolutely filthy riddled with despicable bots and farmed content that has lost its attributions, so you do have to dig to find where different translations have come from (bless this very Web 1.0 page for carrying on the lord's work in basic html). Here is the original in German, and two complimenting translations:

Herbst -Rainer Maria Rilke Die Blätter fallen, fallen wie von weit als welkten in den Himmeln ferne Gärten; sie fallen mit verneinender Gebärde. Und in den Nächten fällt die schwere Erde aus allen Sternen in die Einsamkeit. Wir alle fallen. Diese Hand da fällt. Und sieh dir andre an: es ist in allen. Und doch ist Einer, welcher dieses Fallen unendlich sanft in seinen Händen hält.

This translation by Horst A. Scholz (linked here so I don't get into trouble) is the most spare and one-to-one translation into English I've found-- I always appreciate having a comparison between the very literal meanings and a more creative reconstruction when I'm reading translated poetry.

Meanwhile on the other end of the spectrum, this translation by Robert Bly is very freeform and agnostic; for my own purposes, I think the use of "Space" instead of "Heaven" happens to fit nicely with the themes of Gundam:

Autumn -translation by Robert Bly The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up, as if orchards were dying high in space. Each leaf falls as if it were motioning "no." And tonight the heavy earth is falling away from all other stars in the loneliness. We're all falling. This hand here is falling. And look at the other one. It's in them all. And yet there is Someone, whose hands infinitely calm, holding up all this falling.

[mj-iza-writer]

This story was requested by a mutual of mine, but I will be using their second account @anonwithwhumperflies as they typically use this for most things.... including writing a few stories based on inspiration from my sick fic prompt.

They requested a story based on meningococcus, so I am going to actually explain what that is first, as I have never heard of it, and I'm sure some of you may have never heard of it either.

Also I am so sorry that this took so long... I'm afraid they stumped me a little on this. I actually enjoyed learning about this disease and, of course, torturing Whumpee with it.

This is your story warning also.

Meningococcus disease is a gram-negative bacterium that can cause meningitis and other meningococcal diseases. It is caused when the bacterium invades the bloodstream. This could cause sepsis or blood poisoning. It could also get into the lining of the brain, which then would cause the meningitis. Of course that's not all, it can get into other parts of the body as well and cause issues, such as pneumonia. It can be spread by close personal contact such as living together, kissing, or sharing things like drinks. It can kill within 24 hours if it's not caught and treated in time. Even in ICU, someone may not survive. The best way to treat it is breathing treatments and antibiotics. The best way to not get it is prevention. Their are also vaccines to help prevent it.

This is absolutely why I do not share drinks with anyone anymore. I've never heard of this, but it is now on my list of reasons.

Caretaker frowned when they heard a knock at their door.

"Who is out here at this hour?", Caretaker frowned as they looked out the window.

They could see the frame of a hunched over person staring nervously at the door.

Caretaker sighed and went to the door, already knowing what was coming. They had helped a homeless person a while back. Now there was a rumor of a doctor in the community being willing to help homeless people for cheap. They had lost count of how many people who had come to them seeking help.

Caretaker didn't fully enjoy it, but they just couldn't say no. These people needed help after all. Caretaker just wished they didn't come to their home for help. Especially at night.

They opened the door and watched the person almost turn and run.

"You've already bothered my dinner. If you run, I'm chasing you down", Caretaker studied them, "what can I do....? You look terrible."

The person looked over themself sadly and nodded.

"What's going on?", Caretaker reached for a mask they now kept by the door and handed it to the person.

They looked over the mask for a second before putting it on. They were then handed gloves.

"I-I don't know. I-I woke up really stiff, then I felt lightheaded and nauseous. Everything hurts. I thought I was just somewhat sick, but some other homeless people in the community said I fainted. They told me of you and that you're a miracle worker. I was hoping you may at least know what I could do."

Caretaker started to mask and glove up, "does your neck feel stiff?"

They answered with a sad and weak, "yeah."

"Okay.... come in", Caretaker opened the door wider, "I made one of my guest bedrooms into a makeshift area for all of you. Come this way."

The person followed nervously behind Caretaker, and couldn't help themself but to look around. It had been a few months since they had been inside of a house, but they had never seen a house so big.

They looked at a table as they passed and saw it was set for dinner.

"Oh no, I'm sorry. I am truly bothering you, I can come back... or you know, I think I'm feeling better, so thankyou", they whispered hoarsely and started to turn.

"You've already bothered me, but I'd rather you not leave. If you have what I think you have, and it has been going on all day.... I'm afraid you might not have much longer", Caretaker opened a door, "no worries about my dinner. Let's get you taken care of. What is your name?"

"Uhm, Whumpee", they couldn't take their eyes off the meal until a wall blocked the view, they hadn't eaten for a few days. Even in their nausea, they would have loved to eat the food sitting there.

"Whumpee?", Caretaker turned, "that's quite a name."

Whumpee was now laying in a bed with a thermometer under their tongue.

Caretaker took it when it was done and studied it closely.

Whumpee waited quietly.

"103", Caretaker looked up, "that is uncomfortably high."

Caretaker took note of Whumpee's breathing and how labored it was.

Caretaker watched as Whumpee seemed to grow weaker and more compliant within seconds.

"Have you...?", Caretaker asked causing Whumpee to startle and look up.

"Sorry, I haven't been in a bed for a while", Whumpee sighed.

"I understand. So tell me, have you noticed any discolorations or rashes. Purple brown or even black?", Caretaker felt around Whumpee's neck and abdomen.

"O-on my arm", Whumpee nodded, "i-it was somewhat there last night, but worse this morning."

"And have you been sharing any drinks or anything lately?", Caretaker reached for their stethoscope.

Whumpee looked down and nodded, "I-I couldn't find a cup, and they said I wouldn't get any water if I didn't hurry", Whumpee whispered, "I was so thirsty."

"Was this they by chance Aiden?", Caretaker sighed, remembering the case that snuck into the hospital to find Caretaker. Aiden had died of an illness that Caretaker didn't get a hold of soon enough.

Whumpee nodded again, "I wasn't nervous until a few others said Aiden was displaying the same signs, then died. I-I don't want to die."

Caretaker jumped up and started to get some things together.

"Hospital now, I can't do anything here. I'm not losing another patient to this thing", Caretaker wrapped a blanket around Whumpee and carried them out to their car.

"Care...Caretaker I really can't afford a hospital", Whumpee watched as Caretaker got into the car.

"Don't worry about that", Caretaker pulled out of the driveway.

Whumpee kept quiet during the drive, and while Caretaker carried them into the hospital.

"Meningococcal disease... get on proper PPE. Open up a quarantined room. If you are not vaccinated for this.... keep away from the room", Caretaker made orders, most of their team had gotten their updated vaccine after taking care of Aiden.

Whumpee was laid on a hospital bed.

They looked around nervously as several people raced into the room.

"Start fluids... they are severely dehydrated", Caretaker started to get cleaned up and dressed in PPE.

Whumpee's eyes closed for what they thought was a moment. They opened to hear someone say something about a seizure. Their eyes closed and opened again. This time they could see Caretaker looking at them with a concerned face. Their eyes closed again.

Whumpee jumped when they felt something wet wipe across their forehead.

"Shh, it's okay", someone gently held them down.

Whumpee looked up and saw Caretaker standing beside the bed holding a wet washcloth.

"Wh-what happened?", Whumpee whispered. They looked over at their arm, "wh...what happened?", they almost shrieked.

"Unfortunately, a lot of things happened", Caretaker dotted the washcloth along Whumpee's forehead a few more times before setting it down and sitting.

"M-my arm?", Whumpee looked at it again, "what hap... why did you take my arm?"

"The rash on your arm along with your poisoned blood caused your arm to be septic. Unfortunately, I think you've been battling this for a bit longer than you expected. I almost lost you for a few minutes", Caretaker frowned, "I couldn't lose another patient, not in the same week."

Whumpee looked nervously at Caretaker, "am-am I-I okay now?"

"Time will tell", Caretaker sighed, "I have you on antibiotics, which is about the only thing we can do for this. You probably have noticed you have oxygen as well. You, uh, have a good chance, but unfortunately, some have died because of this. There is a fifteen percent mortality rate. We will keep a watchful eye on you for a few days. Then I would like for you to come home with me for more observation. We will see what happens after that."

Whumpee looked around, "I-I can't afford any of this though. I don't even know how I'm going to pay for what you've done already. I-I don't have insurance... how much is an amputation anyways?"

Caretaker smiled weakly, "you let me worry about that."

"I-I need to worry about that though. I have to worry about a lot of things. Maybe I would have been better off if you had let me die. I can't do anything now. Already, no one wanted to hire me because I'm homeless, now I am disabled", Whumpee's voice started to crack as tears fell.

Caretaker's heart broke as they listened to their patient. They couldn't have let Whumpee die on their table, but at what cost. Whumpee would still be homeless. They would still get sick, possibly even have another run-in with meningococcal disease.

Caretaker had taken care of quite a few homeless patients now, and none of them affected their heart like this. Of course, none of them, except Aiden, required this much of them. Normally, it was just a quick check-up or bandages. They had done a full amputation on Whumpee. It almost felt like they had bonded with each other.

Caretaker sighed, "how did you end up on the streets anyways? You seem quite young. One of the youngest that I've had come to me in fact."

"I uhm, my parents fell on hard times, in that they became really cold and hurtful. I had to get away from them", Whumpee kept looking at their arm, "I didn't think it would... that really hurts. I feel like my arm is having stabbing pains, but it's not there anymore."

"Phantom pains", Caretaker stood, "I'll be right back with some pain meds."

Whumpee whimpered a little as they thought about their past, and what they were going to do now with one arm.

Caretaker came back in and saw Whumpee staring at the nub of their arm. They sighed knowing how hard it must have been.

Caretaker had to make the life-saving decision. They knew that. Whumpee was septic. The arm had to go. Whumpee had gone unconscious several times with seizures. They didn't have time to sign a waiver for permission or a Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) order. Caretaker had to do what they thought was necessary. Aiden didn't want to die, and Caretaker lost them. Caretaker also recalled Whumpee saying they didn't want to die earlier. Caretaker wouldn't allow it to happen again. Not without that DNR, at least.

Whumpee looked up at Caretaker.

"Oh, sorry, uh, here is the pain medicine. Your nurse will be in to check on you", Caretaker came in.

They helped Whumpee take it, and helped them lay back down.

Whumpee tiredly blinked at them.

"You can rest, your body will need plenty of it", Caretaker gently pet their head, "I'm going to go back home for a little bit. I will be back tonight though for my shift. You will have a different doctor watching over you. They will update me on anything that you need."

Whumpee tiredly nodded and looked at the nub again.

Caretaker stood in their kitchen. They had already disinfected the room Whumpee had stayed in. Plus everything else that could have been infected. They were staring at what was supposed to have been their dinner the night before.

"I didn't even eat dinner last night", Caretaker realized as they dumped the food, "I was so busy."

A knock came at their front door.

"Seriously, I just want to rest", Caretaker rubbed their tired eyes as they walked toward the door.

They opened it and saw a group of clearly homeless people outside.

"Please tell me you're not all sick", Caretaker pleaded. Also internally pleading it wasn't more cases of meningococcal disease.

"No", someone started, "we were hoping to find out what happened to Whumpee. We had kept our distance from them the last few days, which is hard amongst the homeless community. Are they, uh, still alive?"

Caretaker relaxed a little, "they are alive. The illness is called Meningococcal disease. I'm only telling you what it is called so you all may know how to avoid it. It is what took Aiden, and I had to remove Whumpee's arm. You all must be careful about sharing things with each other. Especially if you live in close quarters. It's how it is spread. You all need to be careful. There is a free health center in town. They carry the vaccine there to help with prevention. I went their myself to get it. I highly recommend you all go get it as well."

Caretaker looked at them all, "as your doctor. That is my recommendation to all of you."

The crowd's faces lit up.

"So what happens to Whumpee now?", one of them asked.

"A long recovery", Caretaker frowned, "they will have to stay with me for a whi.. a while to make sure they are safe. I wish I could bring you all here for shelter."

"We wish that to", another commented, "you are the only one who seems to care about us in this city."

Caretaker nodded, "I do care. I will be honest though. When I started to receive your visits I didn't take it graciously, and I may have been cold hearted. I do apologize for that. You have all shown me what it was to be a doctor. You've allowed me to see my practice in a different light. I care about all of you... I will try to find a way to help you all."

The crowd erupted in appreciation.

Caretaker went to the hospital about an hour early to be with Whumpee before their shift started.

Whumpee fluttered their eyes open a few times and looked around.

"Hey sleepy head", Caretaker smiled.

"Hi", Whumpee smiled weakly.

"So I was wondering. Would you help me with something?", Caretaker sat down.

"You want my help?", Whumpee stared dumbly.

"Hmm, yes. It seems I do have a job for a one armed homeless person if they're interested", Caretaker grinned again.

Whumpee giggled lightly.

"I was visited earlier by some of your friends. They were checking in on you. I did tell them what was going on and how they could prevent it. I let them know of the passing of Aiden and that you had an amputation. I don't normally discuss those things with others as it is private, and I do hope you'll forgive me for that. I wanted them to understand the dangers of this illness though. I told them I accept the job of being their doctor.. all of them."

Whumpee nodded, "I understand, I would rather them know so they don't get this illness."

Caretaker smiled, "so all afternoon I've been thinking about something. They need a place to go where they can receive help, and it not be my home. My home isn't set up for something like this, and unfortunately, the medical world is sometimes money hungry. I am even guilty of that. It took helping all of you to help me find my love of practicing medicine again."

Whumpee listened with interest.

"I want to create a shelter here in town. It will be a med center, and maybe at some point, I will even be able to make it into more for the homeless community. I will change around some of my hours in the hospital and offer a few hours a day at that med clinic. We will close one day a week there so I can rest up, but they can step in and use a phone that directly calls me if they have an emergency."

"That would be great, but how would you be able to support something like this. No one wants to help the homeless community. You won't be able to run it by yourself", Whumpee frowned.

"We will work out the details. I want to help though. I want to do something for this community", Caretaker sat quietly for a moment to think, "it would be nice to even bring in a dentist and even other specialties."

"You said you needed my help though?", Whumpee frowned, "I don't know how I'll be helpful in that. I'd definitely use your clinic though. If you'll let me now. I'm sure you're sick of me."

"No, quite the opposite, actually", Caretaker smiled, "I don't know what it is, but I feel like I've connected with you more than anything or anyone. Whether it was the deep yearning, I had to keep you alive after losing Aiden or performing all of the medical care I had to perform to help you. There is something about you that has grown on me."

Whumpee listened with big eyes.

"You and your community helped me remember why I became a doctor. I had hoped you would stay with me and help me have a constant reminder of why I'm a doctor", Caretaker smiled, "I have an empty house, I would love to have you there with me. You can pick one of the bedrooms, we can have a family. I can keep you safe. I can also help you get through the amputation."

"Y-you really want me though?", Whumpee whispered, "I-I'm won't be any good to you. I'm just useless."

"Whumpee you're not useless", Caretaker reached for their hand and squeezed it comfortingly, "you got yourself out of a bad situation, and you kept yourself alive for a long time. Then you got yourself help. You did a lot of good things at a young age. Let me help you. I promise I will give you someone you can count on.... if you'll let me at least. I know you've probably been hurt by others, but I want to help you."

Whumpee quietly looked down over themself, then at their missing arm.

"You really wa..want me? Really?", Whumpee felt tears gathering in their eyes, "no one has ever wanted me before."

"I want you Whumpee. I really do" Caretaker nodded.

"Okay", Whumpee nodded, "okay!"

Caretaker smiled, "I'm glad to hear that. Let's get you feeling better. We can start planning the clinic and everything that needs to be done for it. Your job will be to help us know what we need to do to make this work for the community. Hopefully, by the time you're feeling better, we will be able to open."

Whumpee nodded again, "can I name it? I've always wanted to name something", they smiled mischievously.

Months later, Caretaker stood in front of a crowd of people. All excitedly looking at the building with a ribbon tied in front of the door.

Whumpee watched from the side of the crowd. They were still a bit weak from the meningococcal disease. So Caretaker didn't want them to be shoved around in the crowd.

Caretaker smiled at everyone.

"This practice is possible only because everyone here has played a big part in planning and supporting this goal and dream. This practice will be here to support anyone who needs a miracle, no matter what. I want to thank the people who helped me remember the reason why I became a doctor. I wanted to give them a place where they could go. I also want to thank Whumpee, I am so honored that they became part of my home. I don't honestly know what I would do without their smile brightening my life now. Thankyou to the city also for becoming supporters in this movement. So without farther ado. I want to introduce all of you to The Miracle House, named by Whumpee."

Caretaker allowed the crowd to settle, "this clinic will, as of right now, offer two doctors and a dentist. This clinic is here to service anyone who needs us", Caretaker looked around, "one last statement, and we will cut the ribbons. I am also working with city officials. We hope to open a shelter within a few months before it gets cold. Unfortunately, I was so involved with my little life, I was never aware this city didn't have one. Whumpee has already named the shelter as well. It will be called, uh", Caretaker struggled to read the note, "Whumpee I can't read your writing", Caretaker turned to where Whumpee was, "what is it?"

The crowd went quiet to let the soft spoken Whumpee talk.

"I couldn't spell Caretaker", Whumpee called as best as they could, "I was hoping to call it Caretaker's Caring House."

"I like that... Caretaker's Caring House everybody", Caretaker smiled as the crowd cheered.

Whumpee also smiled excitedly.

The ribbon was cut... everyone poured in to see the long-awaited reveal. Those employed to work their, hurried to their stations.

Caretaker held Whumpee's hand as they walked into the building.

"It's amazing Caretaker", Whumpee marveled.

"It is. It's in honor of you. You and your friends", Caretaker smiled, then turned, "can I ask why you chose The Miracle House? I like the name, but what was your thought process?"

Whumpee made a mischievous grin, "when I was told about your home, they called you a miracle worker. You worked miracles out of your home. This is where you want people to come to seek your help now. So you'll be working miracles out of this house now. Caretaker's Caring House is the same concept."

"Ah, I see. Well I very much enjoy it. I'm very excited to see what this place will do."

"Me to", Whumpee smiled, "me too."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

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@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr

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@jasperthecapser @does-directions

[wandixx]

Hey! As you may or may not have gleaned from my deranged rambling in your comments section, I absolutely love your writing, and I love your Danny/M'gann ship. Anyway, I got super inspired after reading the "relationship reveal with ghost summoning on the side" one shot you wrote, and the rest of the Spearmint one shots, so I made you fanart! It's acrylics on watercolor paper.

It's the scene where M'gann summons Danny during the fight with Desiree! The circle is my take on Danny's summonings; I know you said that it was drawn fairly simply in chalk, but I figured that once the summoning began the circle colored itself in or added detail or something. I like to headcanon that a ghost's personal summoning circle is very, well, personal, and has their death, their mentor, their greatest title, and their obsession on it, plus whatever they hold dearest. So, Danny's circle has the "on" button from the portal, the hourglass for Clockwork, the crown for defeating Pariah, and Danny's own symbol of protection (I kind of just went with protection being his obsession for this painting). The outside flower wreath is for Sam, and the sun is for Tucker. Space is in the background because I headcanoned that he had a space core for this, and the red circle in the middle is Mars, for M'gann (she's literally in the center of his universe)! That is supposed to be her hand reaching over the summoning circle, though I'm not very good at drawing hands yet, so you'll have to excuse the wonky fingers. The circle's supposed to be glowing/splitting as the portal opens for Danny to come through. Oh yeah and the crown is made of ice for Frostbite and the yetis (I tried to include as many parts of Danny's titles/the incantation that M'gann said in your story that I could).

Anyway, sorry, that was a lot of explanation for one painting. Main point is, I absolutely love your writing, and I hope you like the fanart! Have a good day, friend!

From,

Pickle :D

Pickle, Pickle, you're making me loose words in very best possible way. Like, I literally spent last twenty or so minutes just internally screaming in absolute excitement and joy and wondering how I can convey it all into language. I'm dangerously close to opening thesaurus and writing down every synonym for positive emotion I can name in English and I don't think it'll be enough to express all of the feelings I have.

It's absolutely stunning artwork, and level of attention to detail is making me giddy, over the course of these few dozens of minutes I read your explanation at least five times because it all just makes sense and I'm just... ugh, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love the idea you went for when designing this summoning circle and you actually reached to who Danny is deep down and put it in a single painting that is just perfect.

Like, I wasn't really imagining this circle in any way (ah aphantasia my beloathed) but I feel that there is no better way to do it than you. Like, not only did you fulfill this sentence:

"Drawn representation of who he is, the deepest and truest parts of his soul written in the language that only Universe itself could fully understand."

but you also did it in a way that we don't need to, you know, be The Universe themself to understand it.

And this thing about what's dear to him being his friends and M'gann as a center of his universe is so cute I can't. Just kjnonkpehwiwjenpiuweriveowvweeweeow

And this hand looks great, different textures are just *chef's kiss* it all looks fantastic, if my friend lived a bit closer I'd brave snow and late night to run barefoot to show her in person to share the happiness but as it is, we're freaking out over messeges because I can't reiterate it enough, this is absolutely breathtaking

Also, serious question, would it be okay if I tried printing it to hang by my desk?

[mdhwrites]

The demon realm isn’t diverse despite the show saying all myths from the demon realm influenced Earth even back in the deadwardian era it very European inspired there are also POC witches but their skin color makes no difference and the demons in the show barely have any resemblance to demons from mythology or religion I feel like the Crew could not write different Cultures and sticked to the Fantasy European Model because it easier and because some people will take issue with the show depicting their monsters as demonic What do you think?

Punctuation. Is. Important. This post is... weird without it. BUT it does actually bring up an interesting point, in part because... Well, I'd be in a pretty similar boat unfortunately.

See, western/European fantasy may have a WIDE variety of options but it also has the easiest when it comes to having a good selection of easily available creatures, settings, etc. to take from. Everyone knows dragons, dwarves, elves, gnomes, etc. At least, here in the west. Unless you do deeper digging, a lot of people will have a pretty limited reach for what they can do monster wise and I think that is reflected in the show.

And I suffer from it myself. I've never done real deep dives into all the monsters out there so while I like them, my mind ends up freezing on only a handful of common ones to use in my writing or the like. It's something that I would like to get better about due to just the sorts of things I enjoy writing. But because a lot of fantasy sticks to these close knit groups of easily useful monsters and myths, you kind of get stuck in a loop.

The show did give itself an out though for worry about potentially insulting other cultures and that was that everything is BASED on something from the Isles. They didn't have to make one to one portrayals but could have taken inspiration. Theoretically, that is in fact what the show did since we don't actually get anything named after a regular monster. The closest are the fact that the witches and wizards actually use those terms and I guess giraffes. Otherwise, they're all purely made up. Which, you know, isn't a bad thing so long as they're interesting.

Unfortunately they're not for most of the like... five that show up in the series? Cool designs usually but little in the way of making them unique obstacles or having real personalities besides "Creature."

The other potential excuse is that the style of the Isles was specifically based on a Dutch/Netherlands artist named Hieronymus Bosch. While his art is weird, it still is steeped in his culture as his buildings and the like are still European in inspiration. Of course, then we get into the fact that they don't include any of the actually surrealist elements of his art which is part of why the Isles is so boring. Strip that part away and all you're left with is... Europe but it's a little weird.

However, the reuse of European history, even including people who look like Vikings, is much weirder to me. At that point, you're not basing this on artwork or fantasy... You're just copying history. Like you point out: Their architecture, style of dress, etc. like that actually mimics common, HUMAN clothing trends just as much four hundred years ago, before a human ever ruled them, as it does in the present day. That's a bizarre disconnect that adds to the feeling that this is just kind of a lazy fantasy setting.

And no, I don't expect every fantasy world to look like Hylics and be this unknowable, abstract landscape. I am fine if something just steals medieval fantasy for its style and creatures after all. The thing that makes most fantasy distinct are its cultures and the interplay of them, or how they diverge from our world despite being so close to it at the same time. Skyrim is not a bad or boring fantasy world because it is THE style you go for with generic fantasy. It's world is vibrant to many because it feels more alive and like there are conflicts that are motivated by things like magic, monsters, etc.

It doesn't even have to be something big. My favorite book series of all time is a medieval fantasy series with some magic for two books and then NEVER BRINGS IT BACK. The mythos around the Rangers of Ranger's Apprentice though, them genuinely engaging with the different countries they come across (even if many are just replacements for real world countries) and the exploration of those cultures, how they differ, their beliefs, their tactics, etc. helped make each place feel like a unique challenge and world in and of itself even though it was lifting so much from reality. It drips with what makes these countries interesting and fun to take from for a fantasy world.

TOH though? They wrote in explicitly an excuse to take literally EVERY fun part of every religion, story, myth, video game even, etc. that has EVER been told... And decided to snark at all of it instead and act like it was better than all of that. Which is potentially a reason to go with the generic, European-centric style BECAUSE it is the most generic. Because most people will know about it from Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones. As such, it is the one that is the easiest to ridicule because they are actively choosing the elements that are the easiest to mock. It's like when people say that Madoka Magica is a deconstruction of the magical girl genre because they have literally only seen Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura.

And yes, there is an argument to be had about Dana potentially not feeling comfortable including other cultures' mythologies due to cultural appropriation and... I'm not going to try to deliberate that. I am the second to last person to get to behind the British. I also won't say it would be exactly a bad reason to avoid it even. Just that it is a thing and... *shrug*

A lot of this in fact kind of doesn't have a conclusion besides a shrug. After all, I like D&D. I like the Forgotten Realms. They are not, by default, that unique a fantasy world, in part by design. But, you know, a good DM makes that generic world into a playground. TOH never feels like it's willing to expand to even add a slide.

======+++++======

Btw, if you want a monthly-ish D&D show to watch, I HIGHLY recommend Dan Jones and Dragons. It has a more casual feel to it than I feel like a lot of D&D stuff I've watched tends to have while not devolving into jokes and gags. Everyone is taking it seriously but they're willing to diverge for thirty seconds about a good joke that happens. All of the characters, their personalities, the drama they go through and the care they have for each other is also just SO GOOD. Cannot recommend enough.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[icegirl2772]

7, 11, 12. 29 for the secret ask list!!!

7: What fantasy class would your OC be? Would they be a different race?

I could picture Kaelyn being a Druid. She would appear human, but would have all the abilities that come with being a druid, including healing and being able to morph into animals or elemental spirits.

11: What was your inspiration for your OC?

It's actually kinda hard to accurately describe my inspiration for Kaelyn. But I can tell you it came from when I was rewatching the show during the COVID lockdowns. I was thinking about how James (and Carlos, but mostly James) ended love story wise and thinking, "He deserved better." (Besides, I see him and Lucy being the trouble-making male-female best friends who will call each other out on their shit and absolutely be in each other's corner when needed.) Then, I started thinking about the other versions of the pilot, particularly where Katie was portrayed by a different actress (and a different name, if I remember rightly) and was around the same age as the guys. So, it had me delving into, "Knight sibling. Love interest." Before I knew it, Kaelyn was born.

I think I mentioned this in another ask, but Kaelyn actually went through a few different iterations. I had a version where she was deaf. I had a version where she was mute and communicated through sign language and songwriting because that was her voice. Would've led to some amusing moments where she did some signing and the guys respond in a way that makes it amusing.

I actually pictured this moment in Big Time Moms where Kaelyn uses sign to threaten James into telling the others about what happened when the other mums confronted Brooke at the Pee Wee Hockey Party and the others gasp.

"Is that anatomically possible?" Carlos asked.

"I'm shocked!" Logan gaped. He then turned to Carlos and said in amazement, "You used a big word correctly!"

12: Does your OC interact with other people's OC?

Kaelyn doesn't actually interact with anyone's OCs. Considering how similar our OCs are (songwriters, James' love interest), I wonder what would happen if Kaelyn and Roxy interacted. Match made in heaven or recipe for disaster.

29: Imagine a mood board for your OC! What's on it?

(And I totally didn't have to google a Mood Board to answer this question.)

I feel like Kaelyn's mood board would consist of a lot of musical stuff. Songwriting ideas. Instruments. Pictures of the guys performing.

But personally... her mood board would contain a lot of peaceful images. It'd be something from when she was battling cancer and it would give her peace in hard times. Her mum, sister and the guys got together to make it for her.

[snowdropsandtigers]

Book asks: 2, 3, 4, 16, 25?

Thank you for asking! I’m sorry this is a few days late.

2. Did you reread anything? What?

This month I finished my reread of Wicked by Gregory Maguire! As ever, I love Elphaba so much. The book is my preferred version of the story in a lot of ways, but particularly for the construction of her character: that passion which can sleep but not go away--I love that bit where the narration notes she's furious at hearing about the world because she had wanted to forget the doings of evil men, and retire into a cave, but she just can't stop caring, even as she can't find an explanation for what's going on or how to stop it. She breaks my heart and thrills it.

That said, I do love the musical and am glad it gives her a little personal happiness, along with fulfilling some of the wishes book Elphaba had. I knew someone who said Heathers wasn't really right for a musical because of the particular ways it was a dark and cynical movie, so of course the characters, particularly Veronica and J.D., ended up changed in the adaptation. I wasn't sure I agreed, but Wicked--seeing the movie, and the seeing the show for the first time in sixteen years--made me think of that again, especially once I read the original outline for the show. That version was definitely peppy in its ending; I was intrigued by the ways the final version was actually pretty similar. It already made sense to streamline things by focusing on the Elphaba and Glinda of it all--coalescing all the different voices and Elphaba foils/reflections into Glinda--but I understood it better after seeing how they started out. It helped keep the story a tragedy, while still allowing for that musical happiness.

Before this, I was rereading the Books of Pellinor (The Naming--or The Gift in the original Australian release--The Riddle, The Crow, The Singing) by Alison Croggon. I seem to have loved a lot of Australian fantasy in my life--Trudi Canavan, Garth Nix, Juliet Marillier, and Croggon. My memory of it was that the books had their Tolkienesque vibe, but with a female protagonist; that is true, but they do feel different enough to stand out to me. Maerad is a great protagonist; the baggage from the loss of her mother and their enslavement informs her and the story's development well. The series also has an interesting quality; of the four books, the third is entirely about her brother Hem. This bothered me intensely when I first read it--this is Maerad's story!--and it bothered me this year too, enough to mention. And yet! The world, already expanded in the second book to include the northern circles of the world, is expanded even further, as Hem goes to the south, roughly to the North Africa-inspired sections. This in turn allowed the Saliman character to become more central, and introduced Zelika, a new female character who is central to that book.

The writing is lovely, and the story has that melancholy, that bittersweet joy that I also like in Tolkien, so that particular similarity is a good thing.

There are things that made be like "Oh that. That's a thing you did." I did overall enjoy my reread though, and remembered what I loved about these books over a decade ago.

3. What were your top five books of the year?

In no particular order:

The Moonday Letters by Emmi Itäranta

Finnish science fiction/fantasy, gorgeously written, and I will be going on a bit more about it in the new author question below.

The Broken Earth Trilogy (The Fifth Season, The Obelisk Gate, The Stone Sky) by N. K. Jemisin

These had been on my tbr list forever. I devoured them. These books raised my standards for the epic fantasy: the excellence of the worldbuilding, and the way it is integrated into the characters, the plot, and the themes, is just on another level. The characters are so shaped by the tragedies and oppressions visited upon them, in ways that just make sense for each one; Essun and Nassun break my heart. I love the mother-daughter cycles and narrative at the center of this trilogy. I loved reading about the different apocalypses, and the bits of the world's past, how knowledge would be shaped and how people's ability to even envision certain things could be limited or nonexistent. Essun was an incredible protagonist, and I adored her. This is a far-future take on what humans do with the Earth, and the aftermath of its apocalypses makes it stand out within the genre. It's been long enough that I don't know what else to say about them right now, but man. These books are quality adventures.

Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire

I already talked about it above, but I am just going to note again how well the book builds Elphaba's character, and how beautifully it both centers her and uses her to gather up all these themes that blend into the world and paint it, if that makes sense.

4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

Not quite sure whether this counts: I started reading The Moonday Letters by Emmi Itäranta last year in June, but real life reasons led to me stopping for about a year, until this last June. It was absolutely beautiful in prose, story, and theme. A bit slow at first, but that's enjoyable too. The premise is that Lumi, a shaman healer in the near future, is trying to meet with her spouse, but the scientist appears to be involved in an ecoterrorist plot, and they never show up to meet her. You get to know how the Mars colony exploits the Earth, how other satellite colonies exist, how immigration from and to Earth works, what happened to its environment and inhabitants (human, animal, plant). Lumi is a refugee and an immigrant. The book is suffused with loss, grief, memory, and regret. The format isn't letters per se; the letters are more like journal entries written as letters, to be shared when the partners can meet again, and there are other types of texts in there, like communications and excerpts.

It's a wonderful book, and I hope to read the author's other works.

An interesting detail; she wrote this one in Finnish and English at the same time, rather than translating it to English after it was already written.

16. What is the most over-hyped book you read this year?

Starling House by Alix E. Harrow. I feel a little guilty, because it's not like I got it based on huge buzz; still, it was apparently a Reese Witherspoon book club pick, and the blurbs on the books made it seem really interesting. I did like the art and the concept, but it didn't feel like the gothic fantasy it was described to be. Not dark enough; the love story was sweet, without real bite to complement that, and the house felt so cozy. It wasn't bad, but it also didn't live up to my expectations.

25. What reading goals do you have for next year?

I was hoping to read Mirrored Heavens by Rebecca Roanhorse; it was originally coming out last year and then came out this year instead! It's the conclusion to the epic fantasy, Between Earth and Sky. But I was already partway through my reread of the Books of Pellinor, another epic fantasy, and wanted to finish the series before getting into another tome with that kind of energy. That finished, the semester started again, so between grad school and a full time job I didn't actually start. Wicked was the only dense book I managed to read these past few months.

So, I hope to read the book not long into the next year! I also want to sink into more of my Puerto Rican books--particularly the Marta Aponte Alsina essays, and some poetry--some Sofia Samatar books, and a few science fiction/fantasy/horror titles that have been waiting. And finish the Sookie Stackhouse books; am already halfway through. Additionally, my non-resident's New York Public Library card expires at the end of February, so I need to take advantage of that while I can, even if it means DNF'ing some books I can't get through for now.

[deathdetermineslife]

Hehe hello :3

💍, 🫧, and 🪼 for the ask game, if these weren't answered yet?

- @puppeteeredheart

IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE! TURN IT UP!

(also 🪼 was answered here)

💍

in my head we are married. so married. we don't wear matching rings though. he keeps a picture of me in (what I choose to believe is) his locket. will attach picture below ↓. I'm a big necklace and locket person and me personally I would keep a lock of his hair in it. not a lot, just a small enough piece to keep inside a trinket I'll wear!

some people think it's a clock? I like that idea also but I love the idea of a locket more.

🫧

OKAY SO I HAVE A LONG LIST AND WILL OFFER MANY AN EXPLANATION FOR EACH (some of these only make sense in my head but that's okay) ((also, warning for mentions of kiyos backstory, which include referenced csa))

cherry waves by deftones - I said I'd offer an explanation for each of these but I honestly only feel this way bc of vibes

old friend by mitski - something about the lyric "I haven't told anyone, have you?" reminds me way too much of his backstory and it devastates me daily

please just stay dead by nicole dollanganger - a backstory thing again. "this time please just stay dead/and I guess I can't blame you, but I hate you all the same"

13 angels standing guard round the side of your bed by silver mt. zion - haunting. I don't have a better explanation

hard times by ethel cain - backstory, again. I actually made an art piece inspired by this for his birthday last year! it's on my main!

helena by my chemical romance (specifically the nicole dollanganger cover) - vibes. hes very,,, "death coded" character. so the imagery of hearses and death fits him.

gommene gommene by kikuo - self explanatory. fun fact, right after I finished trial three for the first time, I hit shuffle on my Spotify to have a good cry and this song came on. I haven't recovered from that.

alligator blood by nicole dollanganger - vibes. also, "grow up weak or grow up tough"

family tree by ethel cain - I have an illustration cookin up in my brain I wanna draw for this...

first love/late spring by mitski - I had a dream like three years ago about him and this song was playing in the background.

sweet dreams are made of this by marilyn manson - vibes. and like, disturbingish dark alternative music reminds me of him

iowa by slipknot - same as before

pet by a perfect circle - ↑ (also this song just fucks so hard)

bernadette by iamx - do you see the vision. do you see it. do you see the vision please—

insomnia by iamx - the lyric "oh my god, you're beautiful" did something to me when 10 year old me heard it for the first time then eventually I found Kiyo and thought "no so actually this is so him"

motion sickness by phoebe bridgers - I found this song in 2021 when someone made a post "no but this is his song" on TikTok and I agree whole heatedly everytime I go to cry to it I end up crying harder bc it's actually just so him it hurts </3 "I hate you for what you did, but I miss you like a little kid"

who is she? by I monster - back story. it's such a hauntingly beautiful song too. it fits him perfectly. "a misty memory, a haunting face. is she a lost embrace? I call her name, across an endless plane. shell answer me, wherever she may be."

heroin by badflower - same reason as last one. hauntingly beautiful. it's a beautiful song and it needs more recognition. "now she's in me, and I can't let her go" (I mean her spirit is literally inside this man like, hello)

I can't decide by scissor sisters - y'all remember when this was big in the fnaf fandom? yea same reason.

after dark by mr kitty - my ex like, fourish years ago told me this reminded her of Kiyo and I haven't let that go

I love you by HIM - vibes. fucks so hard, fantastic song

heaven tonight by HIM - same reason ↑

televangelism by ethel cain - made kiyo art inspired by this. I'll link it here, it's probably my favorite Kiyo art ever (ignore the hard times quote)

august underground by ethel cain - deep foreboding tragic instrumental. also made art for this.

hate me! by leæther strip (specifically the funker vogt remix) - vibes again. the beat, mostly.

the mind electric by miracle musical - reminds me of his trial

evelyn evelyn by evelyn evelyn - self explanatory

rule #4 by fish in a birdcage - I can't explain this one it just does

we will commit wolf murder by of montreal - same thing. just reminds me of him. no reason.

you are the moon by the hush sound - just a sweet and lovely song that makes me think of him. "you will see your beauty in every moment that you rise"

life fades to a funeral by carnifex - dark instrumental, also the title

summit song by nicole dollanganger - ↑ another instrumental

memoir #2 [06.12.09] by maria pseftoga - sad creepy instrumental

all of these songs are very good and I recommend all of them. also there's tons more but I have Kiyo art I wanna make and don't wanna spend all my time on this teehee

[everlasting-rainfall]

Hi just wanted to say ignore the haters there acting like d.cks, I find your ocs really interesting. What inspired you to create them ? I like Arabella sounds she sounds really cute I wonder how does her devil fruit work ?

Oakleigh already deserves a hug for having to deal with Judge ( aww Sora x Zeff~) , I wonder what made him love her ? If there do have kids would there like Sanji sibling ?

I already like Lyra already XD I wonder has Lyric ever tried to convince the Blackbeard pirates to show mercy or has she failed ? How do Lyra and Lyric react each other situation with one being pregnant and the other got a lot of husbands ?

I feel like Harmony and Apoo music playlist has some songs from the book of life film (Heaven knows your name , I’ve been praying🎶 For an example)

Aww hope we get more moments with Mabelle acting like a mother figure to Luffy and Uta 🥺

I really like all your ocs , I wonder will we see more of them in the future or maybe see new ocs ~

Hey there, friend! Thanks for sending in this ask about my OC’s as it makes me really happy to talk about them like it always puts a smile on my face! Unless it’s an angst scenario of course in which case I usually just cry…

But hey! Nothing wrong with crying especially if it makes you feel better afterwards! It’s always just good to have a good cry sometimes!

Anyways…

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FOR ANY REASON-!

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

OC x Canon, Image of a Syringe, Images of a Hospital, X-Ray Imagery, Horror Images, Stalking, Kidnapping, Forced Marriage, Pregnancy, Death of a Loved One

!-POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNINGS-!

!-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT FOR ANY REASON-!

So what inspires me to make these characters is personally private information that I will only disclose to friends as I don’t feel comfortable telling people what inspires me to create these characters but I can tell you the process of how I make them

So the idea for the character hits me in one of two ways and it’s through getting lost in my thoughts or thinking about random topics while I’m in the shower

I do some working, run it by another friend of mine whose more knowledgeable about One Piece then I am to see if it makes sense in terms of the OP world, design them in Gacha Club once I have an idea of what I want the character to look like, make jokes that give way to new character traits and development, read through a long list of names to pick one out, and boom! There’s a new character!

All in all though, I have about 20+ OC’s who are meant for being shipped with canon characters with the most recent one being an unnamed one that I have named Goth Bunny who is the S/O of Penguin and Shachi while one that I still need to design is one named Ember who doesn’t have anything going for her other than that she’s Ace and Sabo’s S/O and I wanna make her be related to water in some way

Anywho, I actually do have some Aesthetic Boards for these characters too which I will include after I have finished answering your questions!

Arabella was actually my first OC x Canon and believe it or not, she didn’t actually start off as a writer or even a One Piece character as she was just a woman that I designed one day and after I didn’t like how the Admirals original wife turned out, Arabella stepped up to the plate after a dumb scenario that I had a long time ago where her Devil Fruit went out of control and she started Godzilla Rampaging only for the Admirals to be dispatched to deal with her and them seeing that she’s just a normal lady when they knock her unconscious and she reverts back to normal

As for how her Devil Fruit works, Arabella’s Devil Fruit causes her to constantly have horns on the sides of her head, eyes that resemble that of a goats, and the tendency to grow wool around her neck like a scarf. Other than that, it acts like a typical Zoan Devil Fruit would.

Not too much special about it in all honesty besides the fact that she can have those parts even as a fully fledged human and the fact that she has a much stronger skull that’s meant for ramming into things

Oh! And she actually does have a Dad whose a canon character as well and if you’re familiar with One Piece Film Z then it’s actually Z himself, he had her with his wife when he was younger so the age difference between her and the Admirals isn’t too egregious

They actually didn’t know that her Dad was Z too until much later in life as they always assumed that she was another trainee until they married her and got her pregnant only for Z to come crashing through the entirety of Marineford by himself to fuck up the people that dared to knock up his daughter

Also if you’re wondering why Arabella didn’t invite him to her wedding, it was because she had lost contact with him a year after he had formed the Neo-Marines to the point where neither had any clue on how to contact the other

They had only just figured out how to talk to each other again when Z found out that she was pregnant and went on a Godzilla Style Rampage through Marineford sending Marines flying everywhere that he went

Z did eventually calm down and talked with Arabella for a long time before the two of them exchanged contact information and parted ways with Z promising to teach her Haki after she gives birth so she can properly get revenge on Kizaru if he starts being very, very annoying

I also did give Arabella a body type shape so if she did have a body type shape then it would actually be a Strawberry and Arabella prefers to walk with her hands clasped in front of her

—————————————

Yeah, I’m not gonna lie when I say that sometimes I feel sorry for Oakleigh as well especially considering that she’s married to Judge

What caused Judge to love Oakleigh wasn’t anything on her part as she wasn’t trying to make him fall in love with her, she was just trying to make sure that the King didn’t die from sadness by giving him the best therapy that she could about every week

It was all just talking about how Sora leaving him for a cook out in the East Blue was making him feel and things that he could potentially do in order to feel better that wasn’t stalking her or attempting to make plans to get her back

Things were going quite well but way back when Judge initially woke up after losing consciousness, he did mistake Oakleigh for Sora because he had never met her before and she looked somewhat close to her but turns out that it was just Oakleigh

During the therapy sessions, he started thinking about things more and more until he finally decided on something that could really truly help him which was to get down on one knee in front of her and propose to her, she did try to refuse at first but it’s Judge so he forced her to marry him

She was a bit of a replacement for Sora but don’t get Judge wrong as he does know that Oakleigh is not Sora to an extent but he’s lonely and misses his ex and Oakleigh looks like his ex so… That’s kind of how he wound up falling for her, it’s the fact that she looks like Sora and she was so kind to him…

There are scenarios actually where Zeff and Sora meet Oakleigh like a while after they get married because Sora and Judge agreed to visitation with the kids like one week with Sora then one week with Judge but Sanji never goes to Judge’s

Anyways I’m getting off topic but when they meet Oakleigh, sometimes they decide that they like her too and want to be able to marry her as well because she’s cute, she’s great with the kids especially Sanji, she’s caring, and she’s a fairly good cook on top of that

Oakleigh really can’t catch a break especially as I have a small headcanon that Sora is rather possessive like not to the level of a full blown Yandere but close so imagine walking in on your forced husband and his ex discussing how they want to split time with you

To answer your question about the children, it’s likely that if Oakleigh ever fell pregnant then I think that Judge might try to see if the kids belong to him or Zeff as if they’re Zeff’s then he’s going to let them be Zeff’s problem but if they belong to him then those babies will definitely turn out like Sanji’s brothers

However I can also see Judge being an incredibly overprotective partner when Oakleigh is pregnant as although he did let the same thing that Sora went through happen to Oakleigh, he’s overprotective in other ways

To give you an example, Oakleigh will be walking calmly along then turn around. There’s a soldier following her. She continues on her walk and turns around again. Now there’s two and this continues until she has like ten soldiers following her all trying to be inconspicuous but failing really badly

Also just like Arabella, she actually did have a previous concept that I’ve completely dropped for her in favor of her current one. Her original one that she was actually a creature that liked to make people fall in love with her so she could eat their love then leave them heartbroken but couldn’t leave because Judge wouldn’t let her and she could never get close enough or be alone long enough to eat his love but I dropped that in favor of her current self

——————————-

Lyra was actually a character that I completely pulled out of my ass when I first made her up as I had no inspiration for her and came up with it while I was designing her as she was an investigative reporter seeking out the truth behind recent disappearances only to be led to Thriller Bark. She eventually did evolve into a Mortician after I watched the Mortuary Assistant

Lyric also was different too as Lyra and her weren’t even related at first and originally Lyric was based off of the game Changed where she had this bag of bottled liquid that when poured on her would turn her into an animal/human hybrid that could help out with things but she could also only be turned back by sea water as it would wash off the liquid that turned her but I dropped that as it didn’t feel like it quite made sense with the One Piece world and eventually she became an Acrobat

To answer your question about if Lyric has ever been able to stop them from doing bad things, she can if it’s something small but these people burnt her circus to the ground leaving her as seemingly the only survivor just because she didn’t want to go with them so there’s not much that she can convince them to not do

Lyric is very strong and somewhat intimidating for a lot of them but at the end of the day, they’re much stronger than her and if she puts up too much of a fight then they can’t easily just lock her up until it’s over

To give you an example of things that she has been able to talk them out of versus things that she hasn’t. She has been able to talk them out of just killing one random person who insulted them, she can’t talk them out of pillaging an island

As for the showing mercy part, she might be able to depending on the situation but no matter what it is. If they’ve already started doing it then it’s very unlikely that she’ll be able to convince them and if she does then Teach usually makes her give them something in return like pleasing them in some way

And although Lyric does hate doing it, she tries not to care too much as long as they keep their end of the deal on showing mercy and she doesn’t wind up pregnant as although she loves kids, she doesn’t want to have any with them as at the end of the day, she is a prisoner

If Lyra and Lyric were to meet after Shiryu takes Absalom’s Devil Fruit then the two of them would talk for a bit, they’d be happy to see each other at first but then Lyra would reveal that she’s a single parent now

Lyric would feel so sorry for her and eventually when she gets details about Lyra’s ex-husband, she’s pissed as she’d excuse herself. Go straight to the Blackbeard Pirates with her head hung low, they’d try to ask what’s wrong with her but proceed to her calling everyone to one room and going on such a long rant about what they did that they’re all sitting on their knees in front of her

Don't try to stop her either as Teach tried to and she’s now holding him tightly by his ear basically turning him into her bitch for as long as she’s on this rant

Eventually though she’ll chill and it’s after Lyra came to find her when Lyric was gone too long, Lyra followed the shouting and found her chewing out the Blackbeard Pirates

They all expected Lyra to get it too but plot twist when Lyric let’s go and gets down onto her hands and knees in front of Lyra to beg for the woman’s forgiveness in what happened to Absalom

Lyra would be pissed and would show that rage strength isn’t just something that Lyric has as Lyra goes right up to Shiryu and beats him so bad that he’s in the hospital for like two days, she just didn’t kill him because she isn’t a murderer

Lyric would do her best to comfort Lyra after that but as for how Lyra would react to Lyric’s new life as the crew wife of the Blackbeard Pirates, she would actually feel sorry for Lyric like she knows that she can’t do anything for the Acrobat though because it’s the Blackbeard Pirates

She does try to give advice to Lyric though on things that she thinks would be useful for Lyric to escape though and even tries to help her figure out what would be the best island to run away to if Lyric ever did manage to escape

————————————

I have to say that I’ve actually never heard that song but it sounds like it will be good, I own the movie The Book of Life though so I’ll watch it the next time that I have time to kill

Here’s something about Harmony though, she actually isn’t biologically related to Lyric and Lyra as she was basically adopted by the two of them as their cousin and stuck with that story and where Harmony came from is incredibly chaotic but that’s a story for another day

As for music that I could see fitting Harmony and Apoo, I gotta say that I’m not entirely sure as I’ve never been too good at assigning songs to people but I do know that Harmony would dedicate some soft and quiet love songs to Apoo while he probably dedicates some more loud and funky sounding love songs to her that probably consist of rapping

Thing is about their music tastes as well is that if they were to ever have a child together then the child would inherit both of of their parents music styles meaning imagine either really soft and calm sounding rap that you can fall asleep to or a singer whose really loud with lyrics that would belong more in calmer style of music

————————————

You’ll find out more about Mabelle later as there was an ask about her and I intend to speak more about her there

As for my other OC’s then I can list them all off right now with their partners!

Sleepyhead Estelle and Caesar Clown

The Snow Woman Talvi and Dalton

Infiltrator Thalassa and Magellan, Sadi-Chan, Domino

Investigative Reporter Honey and Big News Morgans

Time Traveller Paislee and Joyboy

IRL Girl Vanessa and Baccarat, Whitey Bay, Wanda, Hina

Clothing Designer Morticia and Law, X-Drake, Hawkins, Sanji

NSFW Star Nova and Oven

Travelling Selkie Lorna and Laskey

Community Leader Esther and Garling (DON’T LOOK HIM UP IF YOU DONT WANT MANGA SPOILERS)

Glass Artist Soleil and Cobra, Pell, Chaka

IRL Artist Ariel and Kalgara, Herb, Noland, Acorn (Noland’s Wife)

Something Something Water Ember and Sabo, Ace

Morticia’s Model Unnamed Goth Bunny and Penguin, Shachi

[daekie]

so...... ⚾ Blaseball, huh?

see the thing with putting all my work in a one-last-hurrah message in the fanwork channel is that i don't have enough characters left to talk about almost anything else. so INSTEAD here's a masterpost of my work i guess!

and it's all of the eyes on the way it's going

There was something... there was something they were supposed to say. Something they were meant to carry through the rift. Some information Wyatt Mason wanted to hold close to their chest, because it could change everything, if they just - but there’s nothing there except the same crackling static that would make them jump, if they felt alive enough for that. Wyatt Mason III was pulled through the Rift. Wyatt Mason III Localized into the Georgias' lineup.

2938 words, 1 chapter. Written before I actually had any real feelings or opinions on that wet little guy (said with immense fondness) & the first real piece of writing I did for Blaseball. I think I've gotten a lot better since this, but it's not bad, and I'm still pretty proud of the workskin I made for it.

for you, home is a cemetery

The light shining overhead casts everything in dangerous gold, and the players standing in perfect rank and file are no better and no safer: the Aequitas Representatives, here to take the challenge proposed by the Seattle Garages, here to remind a pesky little team what their place is and how foolish it is to fight a god. 6x200 snapshots of those terrible, brittle years, smothered and kept and preserved under a god's thumb for her purposes and her purposes alone.

1200 words (6x200), 1 chapter. AO3 says it's 1201 but it's lying I think. The Wyatts Mason, in a world where the Coin arranged their Localization and corporate drone teenagers scare the living shit out of me; inspired by @zayphora's original Aequitas AU.

you'll lead all your friends like lemmings to a slaughter

Season 14, Day 86. Wy█tt M██on III Ech█ed █yatt Mas██ ███ — ECHO Wyatt Mason III STATIC ECHO Wyatt Mason VIII STATIC

3387 words, 1 chapter. The aftermath of and it's all of the eyes on the way it's going. Wyatt Mason III Three hasn't even picked an actual name yet besides 'not Wyatt', and they've only been alive for fourteen days, but they know they're not walking off that field at the end of this game. Written after I'd been playing them on Twitter for some time, so it's a lot more consistent with a lot of things!

i'm no ghost, no fool

The first thing David Gray needs you to know is that their name is not David Gray. (is this worth crying for? is stepping up to bat worth dying for?)

2852 words, 1 chapter. Dialogue-only. In a Short Circuits world, Atlantis Georgias shadows player David Gray has some things they need to get off their chest, and a Fan's the only person who can hear them say it (literally). Good thing they can spot a Fan at a hundred paces.

a short list of stars that died this year (or: i’m screaming every requiem i know at the suns)

i’m screaming every requiem i know at the suns & someone is singing a mourning song. Nagomi Nava reflects, after the end of the world.

6967 words, 2 chapters. Written as part of the Sunbeams' 2022 Solstice exchange for orionexperiment#0951. Nagomi Nava experiences the Semi-Centennial, makes an odd friend in Tillman Henderson while she's at it, and makes her way through Season 24 and the end of the universe. This thing fucking rocks honestly, I don't even think it reads too well but I'm incredibly proud of it still.

radio station 19.14

11666 words spread across two fics. Written for the Tokyo Lift Fic Exchange. Jessica Telephone Voicemail and Wyatt Mason (Season 14 birth) Jasmine Mason have a midnight talk about not being that person you took your name and face from, and what it means to be you, and the team that loved a girl they barely even got to know. Fics can be read in any order. Includes:

the only way i know how to say sorry is "better luck next time"

One day, in the static she hears every time she picks up a phone, she hears a voice. The voice doesn’t sound like Jessica Telephone. If it did, she’d put the phone down immediately; deals like the kind Jessica made can’t really be taken back, but that was a determined girl, and she’d make a determined haunt, too. But it doesn’t sound like her voice, or her own, or otherwise. It sounds like a teenage girl. Jessica Telephone isn’t the only girl here who might as well be someone else's ghost.

5533 words, 1 chapter. I tagged this with Minor Parasocial Relationships / alt jess is weird about jessica. its parasocial its antagonistic its envious its Really Something / JESSICA ISNT EVEN HERE GIRL. WHAT ARE YOU HUNG UP ON and I stand by that. This is Jessica Voicemail's side of the conversation!

my theologies strewn out in the dark

At least she herself was able to say that’s not me, that’s my name, that’s not me, I want to be something else. She doesn’t think Jessica has said that, or maybe even thought it to herself; who wouldn’t want to be Jessica Telephone? From the outside, wouldn’t it be a gift, to live a life so rich? (Wouldn’t it be a gift, to be a splinter of a god who saw everything but never saw it coming? It always looks better from the outside.) Jessica Telephone isn’t the only girl here who might as well be someone else’s ghost: or, what that looks like from another camera angle: or, hey, who decides what the real Ship of Theseus is, anyway?

6133 words, 1 chapter. Jasmine's side of the conversation. Eldest daughter syndrome applies even if you're a weird sound ghost and Jas has got it bad. When she can't do anything, why would she ever let herself do anything less than as much as possible?

spinning on this infinite road

a collection of fics written for the game band's blasetober 2022 prompts, all written as 12x100s.

8675ish words, 6 chapters. Covers prompts THE BOOK, CERTIFIED BLASEBALL MOMENT, BIRDS, PEANUTS, A BLESSING, A CURSE, and PARKER.

oh, it's time for another vendetta

This is a body he hasn’t known since before the PODS. This is a body he had no say in leaving behind. This is a body that is his and is not his. York doesn’t know he’s crying until he feels the heat on his face. or: york silk backslides on his mental health recovery, because who ever put 'being eight years old again' in their twelve-step plan?

1628 words, 1 chapter. Set in Sonder's Salmon & Snake AU, where post-S24 the League resets back to S1 but with randomized rosters, and the only players who remember the original timeline are Hall Stars and Legends.

I've also done some ficlets from ask memes -- York Silk's protagonist halo & the vault's heel population, and Trip Mason & Jaybot and accepting the fact things won't get better. And I roleplay(ed) Wyatt Mason III & Siobhan Chark on Twitter!

Non-fanfic stuff I've made includes the following (it's 99% community-billboard stuff):

Everything on this I can back up except putting the Wyatts and Wyatt Prime on separate levels.

(at some point i WILL make a final version of this; this one doesn't include s24 + short circuits i think. but. yknow. it is what it is.)

mock takeovers for fan-entities the Archivist (the first two) & the Catalyst (the third one)

propaganda for early expansion era -- i think this is s13-s14?

late expansion era propaganda. the second one isn't even a good edit but i still think it's funny.

propaganda for short circuits. we could've been the atlantis peanuts.... i wanted it so bad

& some coronation era propaganda. very happy with that first knight ump one.

...and then i also did some playlists (raw meat, static echo)...

and during coronation, i drew my design for mckinney vaughan...

...and i did a moodboard for MaX (Wyatt Mason X)...

oh yeah and I also did text post memes. first set, second set, third set, georgias set.

it's been a good run, yall! onwards to whatever comes next. (& ofc i'll still be blaseballing -- i'll probably be playing around in this setting forever and ever.)

[smzeszikorova]

Magic Inspiration tag

Another tag game from @dogmomwrites! Thanks so much :D

I think @adrielcastlyre might be a better person to respond to this one than me, actually. While I invented the magic system originally, they took charge of its evolution as our story's changed. Nonetheless, I will do my best.

I'm very tired today, and also not entirely sure who among my mutuals gets excited about tag games. So I'm leaving this one as an open tag, and inviting my mutuals (and anyone else, really) to let me know if you want me tagging you for this sort of thing.

Rules—share the inspiration/s for the magic system in your WIP.

I don't know if there were any specific external inspirations. We kind of just made it up as we went. And it evolved a lot along the way. Magic users went from being ridiculously OP, to practically useless in combat, to OP again, and slowly we began cementing something in between. This is the result.

In the P&K universe, magic is a biological function. Users are born with a pair of extra organs—producers—which typically appear in the upper arms. Their function is pretty self-explanatory. They produce magic. Not everyone possesses them, but a lot of people do. Then there's the network of vessels that exist as part of what's called the trazian network. (As a bit of totally useless lore, the reason it's called that is because the scientist who named them was called Henry Traz.) These vessels transfer magic from place to place. Originally, though, magic as a network of vessels resembling the cardiovascular system was a bit unheard of. What the scientists of the day knew were the producers, the "trazian tendons"—renamed "major trazian vessels" once people began specializing in magic science and churning out studies on the subject of the network's various parts and their respective functions—and the stoppers at the ends of the wrists, which allow for magic release. Magic science is a very, very new field of study. Little is known on the subject, so specialists like Winson are valued highly. (Another fun bit of useless lore: the misnomer "trazian tendons" became ubiquitous pretty quickly in non-scientific circles, and because the Kenacian and Pemokese populations, by and large, aren't avid readers of Kuryeizki scientific literature, a lot of them still call the major vessels tendons. This includes Levi, on occasion, but not because he doesn't understand the difference. He just likes pissing Winson off.) Similar to your system, @dogmomwrites, magic in the P&K universe is something that needs to be learned. Typically, the muscle allowing for stopper movement is something that loosens around puberty. So really young kids, with few exceptions, don't make especially powerful magic users. But like I said, there are exceptions. Generally, the reason for this is that some magical abilities work within the body rather than operating on external things, and since those abilities don't need to be channeled, they don't require a flexible trazian stopper. Abilities like this weren't very well understood until one Kuryeizki scientist proved the existence of a trazian network, and given the recency of their discovery, scientists haven't really decided on the official name for this "magic dichotomy". Some scientists say "transferrable vs. reflexive abilities". Others say "channeled vs. intrinsic." Some prefer one over the other. Winson switches back and forth depending on what he feels is most relevant to the situation at hand. Magic users are very dependent on their magic. They can release it in small amounts, but there's a failsafe in place to prevent them from using too much at a time. (They pass out, as with your system, @dogmomwrites, and more often than not, it doesn't get to that point. Every once in a while, you'll get someone whose energy spikes when they use magic, but it's a temporary high, and those types tend to crash much harder.) This is essentially the foundation on which book one operates. There's a lot more complexity to magic than that, and I'm not going to go into stuff like genetic inheritance, blockers, illnesses, enhancements, exceptions, etc. here. You'll get all that in the book. If/when, in the distant, indefinite future, my book is published, pay attention to the stuff Winson, Adriel, and much later, Lviszki, say about magic systems. As the story progresses and the characters learn more about it, you'll notice the way the science evolves.

Thanks again for the tag. This was super fun!

[ancestralwealth]

About

My name is Gogo Jillian Walker and I am the writer, researcher, embodier, and focalizer of Reclaiming Ancestral Wealth.

My background is as an Artist working for years in live performance (writing, composing, performing), a Dramaturg (visioning, researching, curating), and most recently an initiated Priestess (Seeing, prophesying, healing).

These are identities I have been asked repeatedly by our culture, to separate. And that cannot stand.

Distilled down to an integrated essence, my favorite way to talk about my work and what I do is to say

I incite and inspire sublime new forms of Art, structures, and communal systems that break the brutal boundaries of the colonial imagination.

Self-portrait by Gogo | Doing research + reparative healing work in Bahía, Brasíl, 2024.

And that essence-signature has guided me to break out of how and what I have previously known my work and my identities to be, to bring you this blog.

Reclaiming Ancestral Wealth is my next multiyear project, born from years of formal and informal study as a veryrecent-past cash-broke, Artist class (born middle class), Black/African-American, female daughter of the dust and the empire, with incredible access to worlds over and under ground. I feel really pushed and challenged by this work, but it feels important to do, and to do it publicly. I know from talking to clients, friends, fellow artists, healers, collaborators, family, my teachers, elders, and lovers, that we are all asking ourselves how we really do wealth–especially during this time when we are so clearly challenged to proceed in ways that are actually sustainable for us, the planet, and our children. Can we reimagine wealth beyond what has been *directly* inherited from generations traumatically impacted by history? What if we look toward a deeper inheritance? One we can tap into that could serve and support us in revising our relationship to wealth to be wholistic and total? Generationally sustainable and healing?

Through sharing my thoughts, personal and historical research, field notes from healing sessions, curating inspiring images and evocations, and more here on the RAW blog, I aim to build an archive we can access and be inspired by to further and expand the dialogue about wealth so that it includes our very alive Ancestors who are asking to be heard when we talk about wealth; what it means and what it is. I include them in this dialogue, because, frankly, as an ancestral healer, it is my charge. And also because Ancestors are an automatically decolonizing force for the modern conversation about wealth.

I believe that can get us somewhere. Better.

It wasn’t until I developed a deep personal relationship with the Ancestors necessitated by my healing journey, that wealth truly felt real to me and quite honestly, important. There are contributions I want to make to our conversation(s) because of Them.

I want those Ancestors to be respected and taken seriously. I want for us all to be reconnected.

I want the separations between our identities and the way we think about our lives and our work to fall so that wealth can truly pour in and be given back out, looping infinitely.

I want that, always.

With this project, I personally desire

To create ways to move as an artist/priestess and healer that are in line with the wealth my Ancestors have made clear over and over is real, accessible, and available to me at all times. 

I want to remember wealth and be remembered by it.

I want community, aligned people and Beings to talk and grapple with me beyond colonial ideas of wealth as a metaphor, a destructive force, or something we have to get or gain.

I want wealth to be returned to its true definitions and true origins, once and for all.

Reclaiming Ancestral Wealth is repair, it’s reconciliation, it’s recollection, it’s reckoning, it’s restarting the world in a non-colonial image.

It is healing. Work. A performance of great proportion.

And it all starts within me. And within you, if you want. 

I hope my embodied journey with this project inspires and provokes you toward your own greater healing and wealth on every conceivable level and levels past our conceits. 

Please reach out and connect if this resonates with you and you want to share how. Also, follow the journey on the blog and stay in touch as a witness. The Call to Reclamation might interest you, too.

x

Gogo

[kafkaoftherubble]

Okay. Bruh, not gonna lie. Seeing these OC Ask Game(s)'s answers really intrigued me. Kinda makes me wanna play them too, but I don't have any OCs...

Except whatever the fuck Lyn of 2014 or 2015 haphazardly made up, with the more barebones characterization...

OC's Name

Huayin's name is normal and plausible. It has a very feminine and literary quality, though, so it's a name you'll typically see in novels, manhua, or video games (or trashy media). If someone heard another person with a name like Huayin, they will think their parents have gotta be some kinda poet or artist.

Guen: you already know what I thought about "Guen." Is it pronounced "Gwen?"

Haru: The first fucking name I could think of is fucking "Felix." This only reminds me of Dimitri's complicated best friend, Felix, who's a tsundere. If you're fishing for Chinese name, there's 宝瑞 (Baorui), which was really us attempting to give Byleth (of Fire Emblem Three Houses) a Chinese name that reflects their personality and sounds believable back then. It means "treasured prosperity" ("treasure, precious" + "good luck, fortune").

Any person they really give a damn about

There is no way you just teased this "kind older brother figure," whom both Huayin and Guen like/care about, and then said nothing. I DEMAND LORE.

Guen and Huayin have a distinctive codependent mutualism going on there, don't they? Reminds me of Emoshiki and Hikaru's dynamic, especially before the two got around better with each other.

Haru is steadily approaching a class of characters I shan't reveal until later.

What do they do best?

Here's where I find Guen perplexing. She's more socially-adjusted than Huayin, and is a lot more popular and well-liked. She's also a people-fixer, according to her string of romances with an unfortunately needy, masochistic tone.

And yet she's actually "not good at understanding people."

In that case, how did she know how to fix people/get people/make people like her while simultaneously "not understanding them?"

Not saying it's impossible or illogical, because I know at least one person who seems to be like this (I see them in passing when I walk by very polished store windows). But it's probably a good area to explore to flesh out those causes and effects.

What originally inspired the OC?

Huayin is JUST YOUR TSUNDERE-LOVING ASS SHOWING, BRO. Like dude this is so ASUKA. Like you better not let me see Asuka holding big ass sword. Wait, she held a big ass battle ax last night! (This morning).

What genre do they belong in?

OH MY GOD. That TikTok series?! Seriously?! Does Haru have a twin brother born SEVERAL FUCKING HOURS LATER after a car crash?! Maybe Haru should just be named Prajna!

However, his traits are stacking up... shaping him to become a member of that class.

The "My Sister Will Love this Dude" Class!

earnest

smart (likes studying)

likes make-up and fashion

shonen as fuck

goodest boy with grandpa and sister

popular with people (including girls)

originally Alma-looking, which is what my sister will lap up.

Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Well, you know how I feel about Huayin and Guen!

Haru's one-sided rivalry with Huayin is just so shonen and endearing? Bruh this dude is gonna be my bias soon enough.

Them looks

Huayin looks so unamused in her latest incarnation it's seriously funny ahhahahahhah. Please, Huayin in a hanfu or changshan (male counterpart to a qipau) or in a qipau?

Guen's hair is so wispy I thought it was some ribbon. She looks like she can be played by Tilda Swinton or your favorite uncanny-valley girl, Anya Taylor-Joy.

Are those acnes on Haru's face? ARE THOSE TRAFFIC LIGHT EARRING OH MY GOD. WHAT IS THIS, REMEMBERING THE CAR ACCIDENT FROM HIS BABYHOOD? AHAHHAHAHHA

I can actually see Hikaru in the last picture!

Okay, this is the shit I need in order to learn about your "mystery choices"!

For ALL "Kickass Sword", "Lyn Bait," and "Besto Furrendo":

✨, 🌺 (or just any person they really give a damn about), 🎹, 🎯, 🧊, 🍀, 🌂, 🧠, 🍩.

It's not part of the ask, but I lowkey wanna see how they look like for 🧊, if you have a sample!

Okay, I feel like I torture you enough this way.

✨ How did you come up with the OC’s name?

Mystery choice #1: Huayin (花音). I don't need to explain what it means to you... I wanted her to have a very gentle, pretty name at odds with her personality. And for some reason, I've always associated her with flowers. Let me know what impression it gives you! Is it a common name? Or does it sound like something really flashy a main character would be called.

Mystery choice #2: It's Guen, short for Guenevere. In Arthurian legend, Queen Guinevere is married to the king, but she grows disillusioned with him and has an affair with one of his knights. Her name comes from the word for "white" in Welsh. Guen is some type of albino, so it seemed fitting.

Mystery choice #3: Haru. It was just supposed to be Hilal's cheesy nickname for him but I used it as a placeholder for too long and now nothing else sounds right. I'm taking suggestions!! I want to find a name that means something auspicious, like "precious" or "good fortune." Because his grandpa named him with love.

🌺 Do they have any love interest(s)? -> or just any person they really give a damn about

Huayin: The person she likes the most (the only person she likes) is the guy who's letting her and Guen stay at his place. He's like a kind older brother figure. She thinks that strangers take advantage of his kindness (by moving in with him, for instance), so she's always looking out for him and then denying that she cares! Besides that, she also cares about Guen. Though it's not the affectionate kind of care. "The opposite of hate is indifference." Because Huayin has strong (negative or positive) feelings about Guen, she undeniably gives a damn.

Guen: Same as Huayin. The guy they're staying with is someone who has all the qualities she wants to emulate, so she holds a lot of respect for him. In addition to that, she has a constant stream of shitty boyfriends who she breaks up with as soon as they get less shitty. She attracted to them because they make her feel needed, so when she's not "needed" anymore she breaks up with them. For the same reason, she'll never cut ties with Huayin because in her eyes, Huayin will always need to be fixed.

Haru: He loves and feels indebted to the people in his family who took care of him growing up: his grandpa and his older sister. He has a confidant who lives inside his head, who he shares everything with. He has a lot of romantic interests too: a childhood sweetheart, a girl who he starts dating in the middle of an existential crisis, and Hilal, who's also his best friend. The problem is, all of these people who he cares about have conflicting interests. He can only prioritize one.

🎹 Do they have any hobbies?

Huayin: She just does chores or trains.

Guen: She likes gaming in her free-time.

Haru: He's into fashion, and makeup. He also studies a lot.

🎯 What do they do best?

Huayin: She's good at fighting, because while she's moving she doesn't have to think about complicated things (like emotions and moral quandaries) and just focus on getting the job done. It's satisfying to land a clean hit—she relishes in it, so she has an incentive to keep getting better.

Guen: She's also good at fighting. But unlike Huayin, it's a natural talent and she detests it. She would much rather find a peaceful resolution than use physical force. Unfortunately, she sucks at that because she doesn't really understand other people.

Haru: From his perspective, he doesn't have a stand-out skill. But he's actually quite good at negotiations. He's got a mix of logic and genuine emotion that's really convincing. I guess he's best at just being human and trying hard.

🧊 Is their current design the first one?

Huayin: Surprisingly, yeah. Usually I have to reinvent my OCs several times over, but in both looks and personality she's stayed almost completely the same.

Guen: She was originally shorter than Huayin, and she had fluffy, light blue hair. Now she's taller, and her hair is white blonde and very fine. I think her features have slowly morphed over the years... She used to be a trans guy too, but I changed it.

Haru: I can't even remember what he originally looked like. That's how different it is. I think he used to look kind of like Alma? Very typical shounen protag.

🍀 What originally inspired the OC?

Huayin: I wanted to draw a main character. Someone with an "I am the protagonist," "the world revolves around me" mentality. The kind of main character who starts out with significant flaws, but gradually improves throughout the course of the story. That's Huayin.

Guen: I needed someone to fill the role of Huayin's reluctant but steadfast companion. And so, Guen was created. She had to be someone who would actually stay by Huayin's side, so a lot of her character traits were determined by necessity.

Haru: ...This is embarrassing. During my shounen phase in high school, I did a lot of daydreaming about the "best friend/rival to traitor" trope that appears in practically every shounen action story. I kind of wanted to see characters in a similar setting who subverted it! Haru initially came out of that.

🌂 What genre do they belong in?

Huayin: Action! One of those edgy, "dark" stories where the main character's lack of morals is what the fans love about them.

Guen: Like a slow, slice of life where some sad person from the city moves to a farm and learns to live their life and be happy.

Haru: Family drama. You know, like Downtown Abbey and stuff? Or that new TikTok series The Mother of Twins, Wins. Have you heard of it? Those plots about socialites fighting over who's getting the inheritance. If it was his decision, he would be in a fairy tale.

🧠 What do you like most about the OC?

Huayin: She has moments where she does what no one else is willing to do, which I think is pretty cool. On a deeper level, I like how she chases after what she thinks she wants, and it leads her away from what she actually needs.

Guen: She reacts strongly to little details most people wouldn't notice or care about. That means she gets upset easily, but she also gets really happy about things that seem inconsequential.

Haru: He's very earnest. Even though he thinks that's his biggest weakness, he's even earnest in his desire to stop being earnest. He acts secretive but he can't hide the emotions on his face. It's cute!

🍩 Who is your OC’s arch-nemesis or rival?

Huayin: Guen, obviously. Someone like Huayin, who's spent her whole life trying to be strong and who's never mattered to anyone, doesn't take kindly to some stranger sticking onto her like glue and telling her to change her entire life. To Huayin, Guen's optimism is idealistic and fake—and therefore, a pointless lie. It stings to see how much other people adore Guen for the things Huayin thinks are bullshit. It just doesn't line up with Huayin's reality at all, so she spends all her energy trying to prove that she's right and Guen's wrong. Because the notion that she genuinely matters to someone is just... unbelievable.

Guen: ↑ The feeling is mutual. Huayin constantly forces Guen to question her belief that humans are fundamentally good. She's the only person who's able to make Guen genuinely angry. It's not obvious when she's not around Huayin, but Guen has her own stubborn streak. In her mind, if she gave up on making Huayin a better person, it would be like she lost at something. Despite all of this, she calls Huayin her friend. She claims it's because she can see how good Huayin could be if she actually tried, but... deep down maybe it's because even when Huayin's at her worst, Guen feels like the best version of herself when they're together.

Haru: Although like I mentioned earlier, the first iterations of Haru and Hilal were rivals, that aspect of their friendship is much less present than it used to be. Now, rather than competing with each other directly, they're both jealous of what the other one has. Haru has a lot of other people to compete with: there's his sister who's a much better leader and strategist than he could ever hope to be, and there's his childhood crush I mentioned earlier. They used to share everything as kids, but they've gone in separate directions. There's also Huayin! She just finds Haru irritating and untrustworthy, but he respects her skills and wants to prove that he's better than her. It's a one-sided rivalry.

That's it! I have some sketches of what they look like, but before you see them I want to hear your impressions! Based on the information I've given you so far, how do you think they look? It'll help me gauge how well their designs convey their personalities.

The sketch on top is a lot older than the others. You can see how Huayin's face is much sharper in the later iterations. Her expression is also a lot sharper. Maybe the first one can be from when she was younger, or something.

This is the most recent thing here, so this is the most up to date reference for what Huayin and Guen look like. You wouldn't know about it from the way they talk about each other, but they're pretty close.

Guen overheats easily. The bigass hat is a recent addition, I think she would probably keep her face covered in public.

You can tell how old Haru is by the state of his hair and how much of the light has left his eyes. I noticed when I was practicing drawing 'Hikaru' that his face actually looks a lot Haru's. Maybe you can't tell from these sketches, but I thought it was funny.

[veinsandknuckles]

Reflect what you are, pt 2

Abed Nadir/Autistic f!Reader. In love and at a loss, Abed turns to self professed woman-expert Jeff Winger for advice with mixed results. Part 1 Rated: pg Warnings: casual ableism, casual sexism, autistic stereotypes, reference to the The Big Bang Theory. If I’ve missed anything, let me know. This fic hasn’t been BETA’d. As a disclaimer, I’ll say upfront that the reader insert’s experiences with and outward signs of autism are based on my own. It’s always impossible to write a reader insert neutrally enough to be projected onto by everyone and I think that’s especially true when portraying a disability that is at once so specific and so varied.  ——–

“...I think I’m in love.”

“Really.” Jeff didn’t look up from his phone.

Abed wasn’t sure why he’d picked Jeff as the right person to talk to. Perhaps it was just because Jeff had lingered in the study room after their last session, leaving them alone in the room, and if Abed didn’t tell someone, anyone, he might literally explode. “Yes. Definitely. I show all the classic signs.”

Jeff didn’t respond. Had his sarcastic, disinterested tone been more pointed than usual? It was hard to tell.

“Did you already know I’m in love?”

“With what’s-her-name, your new study buddy?” Jeff gave Abed a look. “Uh, yeah. I’m pretty sure everyone knows.”

“Oh.” Abed tapped his pen against the table and thought this over. “Do I talk about her a lot?”

“Not really, but we know you. It’s pretty suspicious if you take an interest in anyone who isn’t a fictional character.” Jeff put his phone down and leaned his elbows on the table. “Does this mean you’ve finally come to me for dating advice? It’s about time.”

“Normally, I wouldn’t need advice...”

Jeff’s eyes narrowed. “Because women throw themselves at you, for some reason.” He sounded resentful. “Yeah, I remember.”

“And usually I don’t really care either way.” Perhaps this wasn’t the best approach if he wanted Jeff’s help, but it was the truth. “I mean, the attention is nice, but it’s not important.”

“Well, if you’re ‘in love’” (here, Jeff made so many air quotes he threatened to sprain a finger) “that’s a whole different story.”

“Yeah. I’d be pretty upset if she didn’t like me back.”

“I’m sure. So what have you tried so far?”

“Hm.” What had he tried? Shockingly little, now that he came to think about it. “I’ve talked to her a little. We’re working on a project together for class. Oh, and yesterday I threatened to beat a guy up for disrespecting her.”

There was a long pause. “See, this is why you should come to me for inspiration instead of turning to the movies.”

“Yeah, but it was warranted. He’s a bully.”

“Yeah, but still. I never figured you’d go for the caveman approach.”

Abed shrugged. “I don’t really have an approach.”

“Yeah, we established that. So what’s this girl like?”

“I think she’s autistic.”

Jeff’s eyes widened and his mouth seemed to twitch. He didn’t make a face, but it seemed to take him some effort not to make a face. What was he trying to hide? Surprise? A lack of surprise? Amusement? Ridicule? Probably not envy, but what did Jeff know?

“Abed, that’s not a very nice way to sum up a person. We taught you better than that.”

Abed had it on pretty good authority that Jeff had pointed him out to strangers as ‘the robot’ and ‘just don’t call him Sheldon’ several times just this month, but for some reason, people tended to get uncomfortable if the spade joined in and also started calling itself a spade.

“Okay, this is clearly a sensitive issue for you. If I tell you she’s also beautiful and funny and attentive and kind and clever and beautiful, does that make you feel better?”

“That’s a pretty long list.” Jeff smiled. “Beautiful made it in twice, huh?”

It was a fair summary as far as Abed was concerned, repetition included, but Jeff needed to be brought down a peg or two.“I thought that would reassure you.”

Jeff stopped smiling. “Whatever. So if you care so much about her supposed personality, what do you guys actually have in common? Apart from, you know. The A word.”

“I’m not sure. We both pay attention in class, so we already have some similar interests.”

“Okay, so get her talking about those. Women love it when you pretend to care about their dumb opinions.”

Abed was very much convinced that this was not an uniquely female trait and he knew that if he chose to make a rebuttal, Jeff himself would make for an excellent exhibit A. But Jeff depended on his 90’s stand up comedian understanding of gender roles and it would be unfair to take that comfort away from him. Instead, he chose diplomacy. “If she has dumb opinions, I’ll lose interest. Even if she’s beautiful twice.”

“Yeah, you’re weird like that.”

“But I get shy around her, and I’m not used to being shy. I try to plan our conversations in advance, but then when I talk to her I forget everything I was going to say... And I don’t want to pretend to be someone else.”

“You’re overthinking this. Just go up to her and talk, ask more questions than you give answers and if she smiles and laughs at your jokes...” Jeff thought about it, then shook his head. “Huh. Yeah, I see the problem. You still can’t really read anyone. Even I can’t read you and I’m a master manipulator who’s known you for years. If she’s like you...” He seemed at a loss for words. “Don’t you have, like, a secret language or something? Bleep, bloop, Star Trek good?”

How should Abed know? It wasn’t like he’d been ushered into a secret society or subscribed to the local autism mailing list. Maybe there actually was a club and he just hadn’t been invited - that would be a fun, ironic twist. “Not one I know of.” The trekkie accusation he filed away for a later argument.

“Alright. So, when she’s happy or annoyed or on the rag, can you even tell?”

“I think so.”

Abed worried that Jeff misinterpreted the reason for his interest. He couldn’t tell if Jeff wanted to over or under emphasise the autism part, but he could tell Jeff didn’t get it. Sure, it was exciting to meet someone who functioned the way he did, but not because he expected or even wanted you to be a copy of himself. He wasn’t looking for the comedy staple where the weirdo, slash robot, slash dog’s love interest was played by the same actor, slash costume, slash dog in a wig or a pink bow. He was just as desperate to explore all your differences as your possible similarities, and the disability thing was just a small part of that. And he’d underplayed the “beautiful” part, but your mind really was not the only thing he wanted to explore. After all, you’d already turned his head months before he’d realised what you shared.

It dawned on Abed that he really would be just as excited to talk to you if the topics you chose made no sense to him - whatever you said would interest him, simply because you were the one talking. And if he ever accidentally tuned you out, he’d be happy just to watch your lips move.

How could he even begin to explain all of this? Or any of it? If Jeff had ever felt the same way, he would never admit to it.

“She emotes a lot.” By Abed’s standards, anyway. “I don’t think most people can really tell she’s autistic.”

“Why are you so fixated on this?”

“Well, in this case, I mean I think she’s more of a people person than I am. She blends in better than I do and that would take a lot of practice.” He paused. “I never really made friends before I got to Greendale, but...”

“You’re worried you might have some competition?”

Abed shook his head. If anything, competition would be reassuring. But why? “I don’t want her to like me because she has no other option. I want her to choose me.” If that was true, why did admitting it make his stomach feel so cold? Abed swallowed and voiced a fear he hadn’t even been conscious of before. “I’m worried I might be too weird for her.”

Now Jeff made a face even Abed could recognise, if only because he’d seen it so often over the years. It was a face of pained, awkward pity.

Abed was seriously starting to regret being so honest, especially with someone who clearly still expected him to be more ashamed of himself than he really was.  

But Jeff surprised him and his expression changed gradually into a less familiar smile. “Yeah... I think we all feel like that sometimes. I mean, not me, obviously.” Abed nodded and Jeff continued. “I hate to be a cliché, but if you absolutely have to be in love, I really think you should just try to be yourself. If she doesn’t like you, it’s better you rip the band-aid off quickly.” He reached out as if to give Abed a pat on the shoulder but seemed to think better of it and let his hand fall. “Who knows, she might like you better for being a bit weird - I know I get sick of hanging out with normal people all the time. Whatever that means.”

Abed nodded. Especially the band-aid argument appealed to him. Right now he felt that if he didn’t either get to touch you or let go of this obsession within the week, he’d just wither up and die. Wow. He might actually have to resort to a weekend of 80’s rom coms, either to look for inspiration for some big dramatic gesture of his own, or to do what most people probably did when they watched rom coms - daydream about his own crush and imagine you and him up there on the screen instead, kissing and holding on to each other for dear life while the music swelled and the rain pored.  This was so much worse than he’d thought.