#inadvertently hurting them as a result

[lyricalchrysanthemum]

I need to inject dawn lyre with more orpheus coding

[quietwingsinthesky]

it’s running concurrent to my headcanon that. well. the universe is so lacking in constants for the doctor, and if it’s after he’s experienced the loss of a companion, he’s not going to go have tea with someone else he once travelled with and had to leave behind.

it just makes sense to me, that he’d go seek out the master. especially if he’s barely restraining himself from making bad choices about breaking fixed points in time and causing paradoxes. and he’s right there, playing harold saxon for the world to see, and he’s right. there. the doctor can just go and see him whenever he wants.

[fivepebble]

hi this might seem a bit weird but just to clarify first and foremost this is directed mostly at my YT fans since. i’ve gotten a lot of those really fast. i’m just not comfortable posting this directly to my youtube.

I like to talk, I like to answer questions and when I do I tend to elaborate a lot. I heart comments liberally because I really appreciate all the feedback I get and my viewers are awesome and always say things that are very sweet and tend to be respectful more than I’d expect from the site.

That said, when I do respond, it does not mean that I want to be friends. I’m naturally a very friendly person and I like sharing my work and my thoughts online and interacting with the people who enjoy it, but it doesn’t go beyond that. I'm extremely antisocial and introverted. It’s not personal I just would get very very quickly overwhelmed if I tried to be friends with every single person

[helluvapoison]

4. Trying to hide your injury from them, but failing miserably once you faint right in front of them, "5. Where does it hurt the most?" with Lucifer and reader

Injured Prompt

Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Did you know when you roll your ankle you’re not supposed to walk on it? You might’ve known that if the Pride Ring’s hospital ever answered the fucking phone!

ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•��•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ

If your boyfriend Lucifer wasn’t out and about today, making up for some odd months of meetings, he could’ve teleported you there in no time. Then again, if he was here he might summon Belphegor themself. Not wanting to bother anyone, you told yourself it would be fine. Besides with Hell’s “no checking out early” healing abilities, it would right itself on its own by tomorrow! That continued to be your mantra but as the day got away from you it became harder to ignore that stabbing pain in your foot.

It certainly didn’t help that you’d overexerted yourself by helping Charlie move things up and down the hall because Nifty had clogged the pipes (again) which resulted in minor flooding damage. The whole time it felt like Vaggie’s suspicious stare saw right through your poorly worn mask. Charlie asked no less than 22 times if you were ok to which you waved off her concerns. It took a few hours but the furniture was moved out of the room, leaving only a mushy carpet to deal with. Neither Kiki nor Alastor could be found and since Lucifer wasn’t there to snap the problem away, the princess attempted herself. However her powers were still a bit… undisciplined. The best she could do to try and evaporate the water had actually set the carpet on fire.

Vaggie rested her hand on Charlie’s shoulder with a soft smile, “It might be time for a break, babe. Don’t want you to overdo it.” She pointedly shot that part at you.

With a sigh the blonde conceded and allowed Vaggie to usher her out.

Simultaneously grateful but cursing the downtime, you waited a minute before leaving yourself. Now that you've slowed to a stop your ankle throbbed with vengeance. Peeling your sock back to take a peek, you gasped. Your foot was definitely not purple this morning! Shit shit shit, it was definitely time for a break!

You limped to the elevator, using the wall for support when Lucifer rounded the corner. Like the wall had tried to bite you, you yanked your hand from it and forced both feet flat on the ground. You grimaced, poorly trying to conceal it with a smile.

“Duckie!” You greeted through a wheeze. Has breathing been this hard all day?

With much more enthusiasm in his voice, he sang your name and rushed over. Lucifer lifted you off the ground to spin with you in his arms, unknowingly providing momentary relief. His laugh and smile were infectious. Just a second with him had swept you into the world you shared and washed away your troubles. Unfortunately they returned once he set you down and despite how gently he did, you hissed when you touched the floor again.

“What was that?” He asked with a tilted head, holding onto your waist.

“Oh, uh, I’m practicing my Sir Pentious impression!”

You’re unsure why you lied. Maybe a part of you wanted to pretend for a little longer. You think back to the time you got a paper cut and he forced you into bed rest for three days. Once he found out about your ankle nearly snapping in half, you would, inadvertently, send him spiraling into his mother duck state of mind! And the poor man never seemed to catch a break! You didn’t want to stress him out over something that would heal.

He seemed to believe your fib.

At least someone did because it was getting harder to convince yourself.

“It’s good, it’s good!” Lucifer nodded thoughtfully, narrowing his eyes. You instantly knew he was trying to recall just who the serpent fellow was. “Anywho, I ran into Charlie just now. Heard this place almost fell apart without me, huh?”

He nudged your arm with his elbow, prompting you to laugh instead of focusing on the pain. You forced the sound out a bit too much to try and make leaning against the wall look natural. It didn’t. You almost collapsed against the surface, sliding down as your leg began to give. Lucifer slipped his hands under your arms, doing the majority work of holding you up. Your head began nodding off and you realized you were face to face with him. Not a good sign considering your height difference. He was wearing his nervous grin that you knew all too well he only put on before he started panicking internally.

“Darling, is this part of the Sir Pina Colada impression? Starting to, uh, worry over here.”

“Nothing, nothing. I think… I just… nee..”

The last thing you see is Lucifer’s smile dropping entirely, pupils shrinking to worry-filled slits.

Then black.

~

There’s a moment while waking up where it’s pure bliss. You’re not you; you’re not anyone. You barely exist— and then you do. The worries, memories, pain; it all comes rushing up on you like a train and hits you just as hard. You scrunch your nose and pull your eyebrows together as you attempt to sit up. Silk under your palms have you acutely aware that you’re not in your bed, but Lucifer’s. And you know what they say about speaking of the devil.

“Oh no! Nonononono, I don’t think so,” He sings, gently pushing your shoulders back until you’re flat against the plushy pillows, “You’ve got some explaining to do. ”

“Fuck, ‘m sorry,” You groan, “I thought I had it under control! I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Au contraire, darling, I want to worry about you! Just maybe not that much next time, alright? I think I had a heart attack! If that’s what those feel like… Ech.” Lucifer was wracked by a shiver, shaking off the final wave with his head.

You let out a breathy laugh.

The man smiled at the sound and honed his full attention on you, forcing a serious, but soft, tone, “Now! Doctor Morningstar is here to help, so tell me, where does it hurt most? ”

“My ankle.”

You recoiled when he attempted to peel away your sock. He muttered an apology, studying your foot rather unfazed. As interesting as it was to watch him get truly somber about something, you couldn’t appreciate it right now. The fire spreading from your ankle stole all your senses and he wasn’t even touching it anymore.

“It wasn’t all purple-y yesterday right? We might have to amputate.”

“Lucifer.” You growled through grit teeth.

He chuckled. “Sorry. That one killed when Charlie was younger. Ok, ok! Pain management first, jokes later.”

There was a heavy knock on the door that made both of you turn your heads. Your eyes narrowed while a bright grin spread across his porcelain face.

“Are you expecting someone?” You asked suspiciously.

“Belphegor, of course!”

Of course.

[a-town-called-hometown]

yippee! apologies if my takes are horrendously bad

my personal take on the matter is that i definitely think the dark worlds can work as a metaphor for escapism without undermining the darkners' personhood. it can be more than one thing, yknow? the darkners are important, their lives matter. and the lightners do go to the dark world as an escape from the problems they face in their own life. but that's not the darkners' whole PURPOSE, yknow? i mean. according to the laws of the universe of deltarune yes darkners' "purpose" is to serve the lightners but like it's not their whole purpose in the STORY.

it's sort of like how, in UNDERTALE, LOVE represents how distant you've become, how easy it is for you to hurt people. but it also literally gives you the power to destroy the world.

i think the biggest reason i believe escapism is at least a part of deltarune's narrative is queen.

queen's whole speech in both of her fights is about how she intends to provide escapism for the lightners (so that they will worship her but also so that they will he happy). she wants to turn the whole world into a dark world, so that everyone can live in bliss and not have to worry about the woes of the light world. she mentions "Staring, Tapping, To Receive Joy. Staring, Tapping, To Avoid Pain." which is like pretty much the definition of escapism

she wants to help Noelle with the problems she faces in the light world ("Noelle. Who Will Be There To Help Her? Her Strange And Sad Searches" and "My One Idea To Help Noelle, Failed") by just... shoving it away for a blissful fantasy world ("Wake? No, She Has Already Awakened Too Much. Let Her Close Her Eyes And Sleep Away, Into A Darker, Darker Dream.")

...i forgot the rest of what i wanted to say!

well first off, thank you for your ask! I'm going to get extremely in depth in my answer, so bear with me here. sorry it took several weeks to write this. the escapism reading of deltarune is pretty deeply entrenched in fandom, and to refute it, I felt it required a full-length essay to completely explain my viewpoint.

yes, "the lightners desire escapism" does not automatically translate to that being the darkners' actual narrative purpose. escapism can be a theme without dehumanizing those who are used in order to escape - in fact, I've read a number of stories that use someone's desire to escape to HIGHLIGHT how they're hurting others in pursuit of that. I believe that toby fox is definitely capable of telling a story about kids having a valid desire to escape, and about them grappling with having inadvertently created a world of real, living people as a result.

(I'll reiterate again that this is not the story arc that generally shows up in fanon. the common consensus is that the game will end in an omori-esque "growing out of" the dark worlds. it's why I have a huge dislike of the fanon escapism reading, given that the darkners are shown as people whose lack of agency parallels kris' own. it would feel cheap if the resolution to that plot was that the darkners were actually never meant to be agents in their own fates. but this is a digression.)

the reason why i DON'T believe that this is a story that toby fox is telling is because of the way the world, themes, and characters are written. put simply, it just doesn't come across as congruent with the story being told.

deltarune's main themes are agency, fate, identity, and control. this is a conflict that shows up in nearly every major character, is baked into the worldbuilding, and is the central struggle involving us, the player. the protagonist of deltarune is literally possessed by us against their will. the darkners are objects that have no choice but to serve and be discarded. over and over again, there is emphasis on roles that characters play - and crucially, roles that are imposed on them.

what would escapism mean, in this thematic context? in real life, escapism can represent any number of things, but in a story, a major narrative theme generally has to dovetail with other major narrative themes in the work. I would argue that escapism in deltarune would likely mean going to a place where characters are able to choose for themselves what roles they embody, or even to discard the notion of roles altogether. a fantasy of control is the only way to escape a reality where you have no agency. and honestly, it's hard to imagine that something could count as an escapist fantasy if you don't even get to choose whether or not you participate in it.

let's talk about kris.

I see a lot of discussions around kris that say that kris goes into the dark worlds to escape. the dark worlds are posited as kris' fantasy of heroism. it's a world where they can seem heroic and cool, a world where they can have friends. this theory makes a decent amount of sense on the surface level, but only until you consider that kris is being controlled in order to go into the dark worlds. and it is not a control that they appear to welcome.

if those worlds represent kris' fantasy, then why don't they get to choose what happens in those fantasies? why are they being controlled by an external force, one that they actively push back against? if it's really an escape, then why does everything about this world reflect their lack of agency? if they really think this world is just a pure fantasy, then why do they care if spamton falls when his strings are cut?

because they're being deliberately obscured to the player, it is hard to say how kris actually feels about many subjects... but I do seriously doubt that they view the dark worlds as an escape. they don't act in a way that is consistent with that. they resist their lack of agency, and what little we do see of their reactions to darkner characters doesn't suggest that they view those characters as part of a disposable fantasy, either. they seem to have complicated feelings on ralsei. and of course, one of their biggest emotional reactions in the game is to the spamton fight. I would argue that that suggests they have empathy for spamton, which is a hard emotional reaction to have if you believe he's just part of a fantasy. not impossible, mind you, but it seems unlikely that kris believes that all this is simply fantasy.

also, considering that snowgrave both actively discredits the idea that the dark worlds are mere fantasy and is actively traumatic for kris... I seriously doubt they'd open another dark world in chapter 3 on a snowgrave run if their motive was purely to escape. on that route, they've seen the damage we can cause in a dark world. they know that berdly has sustained lasting damage due to our actions, assuming he's not outright dead. why would they want to try and "escape" to a place like that again now that they know what can happen?

the only answer is that they have a motive that isn't escapist.

now, as for ralsei... what part does he have to play in all this?

ralsei does play a lot to the fun, fantastical elements of the dark worlds. he delivers the prophecy that kickstarts the adventure. he flatters both kris and susie endlessly when they act appropriately heroic. he welcomes them into the castle and even makes nice rooms for them. he initially seems tailor-made to enable a fantastical experience where no real issues can ever complicate anything, and where the pain of reality can successfully be hidden from. but there's a lot of complications to the idea that he might represent an escapist fantasy.

the first, and what honestly seems the most important to me, is that he doesn't encourage kris and susie to remain in the dark worlds. he is welcoming and kind, but once the adventure is over, he prompts them to return to the light world. he wants them to deal with their more "real" problems like homework. that doesn't feel like he is trying to facilitate escapism in them. a real fantasy would encourage you to stay in it, wouldn't it?

and while ralsei is definitely invested in making sure the lightners are happy, there are always cracks that show. he isn't able to make kris ignore what happened in the spamton fight. he isn't able to convince susie to be peaceful and kind. and in his very essence, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas. very importantly, he represents a number of uncomfortable ideas to kris.

this probably ain't your first fandom rodeo, so I'm not going to explain all the different ways that ralsei interacts with kris' personal issues. there's plenty of posts on it out there. what i will point out is, once again, it feels odd that a character who seems tailor made to bring up kris' most uncomfortable associations with their lack of agency and their outsider status in their own family would be part of a fantasy of escapism to them. you'd think that they'd prefer something that didn't have an inbuilt hierarchy, a prophecy that denied them autonomy, or especially a person that reminded them how little they fit into hometown.

that doesn't mean kris doesn't care about him at all - it seems very likely that they do. what I mean to say here is that he just seems ill-suited to an escapism reading, both behaviorally and on a conceptual level. it doesn't seem like that's at all part of his servitude towards the lightners.

of course, there is another non-lightner entity that ralsei seems diegetically engineered to serve. but I'll discuss that later.

now as for susie...

yes, susie definitely views the dark worlds as more fun than the light world. and why wouldn't she? the light world sucks for her, and she doesn't seem very aware of the fact that the dark world can also suck. you could definitely make the argument that she views the dark worlds as a fantastical escape from reality... were it not for the fact that she treats her darkner friends with just as much importance as she does kris and noelle.

can someone treat components of an escapist fantasy as real and important? of course. but given deltarune's themes of agency and control, as well as the fact that darkners exist in servitude to the lightners, I feel like you'd have to make escapism tie into forcing others into a lack of agency if you wanted the theme to feel coherent with the rest of the work. this would require susie to be limiting the agency of the darkners around her. and obviously, she doesn't do that. her presence around them might be inherently limiting, just by simple virtue of being a lightner, but she isn't aware of it, and clearly is uncomfortable with the idea of limiting anyone's agency. she encourages ralsei to make choices. and she supports lancer in basically anything he wants to do. her treatment of lancer is integral to chapter 1's narrative, and it seems like that treatment of ralsei is integral to the ongoing narrative as well!

her preference for the dark world feels very rooted in her engagement with it as its own reality. rather than trying to avoid her real-life problems by engaging in a pretense, she seems to simply want to spend time with her friends in a place that isn't cruel to her. she isn't ignoring any of the dark world's problems in service of that, either. she notices when things don't line up. if she thought of it as a fantasy, wouldn't she be inclined to ignore issues that impede the fantasy?

and critically - like kris, she does not intentionally choose her imposed role in the prophecy at first. she steps into the role of bad guy to resist it, but that role is limiting too, and she eventually acquiesces to being a hero. it's never something she's completely on board with, though. she actively pushes back the limitations that the role places on her. I find this important to reiterate when we are discussing the notion of the characters viewing the dark worlds as fantasy.

noelle has a complicated relationship to the dark worlds. susie tells her that it's a dream to make her accept the strange reality she finds herself in, which works well on her. she continues to think of it as a strange dream throughout the chapter. (though, like the others, it is not a 'dream' she entered of her own volition!)

it is also a markedly unpleasant 'dream' at times. she has her agency restricted, is kidnapped, has to evade a controlling monarch, and is even tied up in a weird evangelion cross thing on the hand of a giant robot. it's not purely fun. noelle does like scary things, and while it might be healthy for her to have an experience where she stands up to a controlling adult figure... again, the circumstances make it difficult for me to assume that this is a fantasy she would choose for herself. not impossible, mind you, but it's not the first reading of the situation that comes to mind.

and while she does say she wishes she could dream like this every day in the normal route, that does happen specifically because she was talking to the girl she likes. it makes sense she'd find that pleasant. I don't think that necessarily equates to her finding the dark worlds escapist.

and importantly, this isn't the sentiment that she expresses in every route.

again, there's a lot of analysis on snowgrave, so I won't bother regurgitating it much here. but it's nightmarish for both kris and noelle, and very likely fatal for berdly. noelle needs to believe that the event is a dream, for her own psychological safety, but one of the most important parts of snowgrave...

...is that its events, and the world it took place in, are very, very real.

noelle wants to have the strength to face her problems, both in the regular route and in the snowgrave route. rather than escaping from them, she views the "dream" as a chance to practice dealing with her day-to-day issues. it's just that in the regular route she finds that strength authentically, and in the snowgrave route, that desire is manipulated and pushed until she is forced to kill berdly. she doesn't interpret snowgrave as an escape gone wrong. she views it as a dream that became a nightmare. and those are two extremely different things.

but i haven't even gotten to the biggest thing that undermines the concept that the dark worlds are a metaphor for escapism! which is: this fucking guy is dead wrong about everything.

so full disclaimer - I really love berdly. I think he's slept on a lot in the fandom because he's annoying and weird. which is fair, I suppose, but I think ignoring him hinders a lot of people's understanding of deltarune's overall narrative. because berdly often illustrates a lot of concepts in the game, but his narrative framing as a joke (usually...) prevents the player from taking it completely seriously. he has things to say and ideas to show off, it's just that he's often very loud and kind of dumb in his expression of them. which is kind of the point!

ralsei brings up the idea that the darkners are meant to serve the lightners very seriously in chapter one. by extension, and by way of the literal mechanics involved in a dark world's creation, we can infer that this logic is probably something that also applies to the dark worlds themselves. they are allegedly worlds and characters that only are supposed to fulfill a dream of the lightners. but due to narrative framing and deltarune's themes, we know that that's not the full truth. however dark worlds and darkners are created, they deserve to have their own agency. they can't just exist to fulfill a higher being's wishes.

you know who else undermines that view of the dark worlds? berdly! berdly does!!!!

because berdly is the only lightner in the game so far who does take the dark worlds to be an escapist adventure! he wants to turn cyber world into smartopia. he views this as a chance to be a cool hero. he believes he's going to get the girl, he's going to shape this world to his own liking, and maybe also he's going to get queen to acknowledge him or something so he stops being a forgettable little bluebird. and not only does none of this happen, his steadfast belief that it will happen is continually a joke within the narrative!!

berdly's wishes for uncomplicated escapist fantasy are flat-out denied by the dark worlds themselves. as a lightner, those worlds should be serving him. he should have the power to do whatever he wants within the bounds of an escapist fantasy. these npcs should be singing his praises!

but he doesn't have the power. and this world doesn't sing his praise. because it just isn't an escapist fantasy. he isn't right to view it that way. his wishes for heroism are always going to be thwarted.

so now that I've gotten all that out of the way, let's swing back over to the subject of your original ask. queen.

because, like berdly, queen's entire character arc is about how she's completely wrong about what the lightners actually want.

queen would in fact like nothing more to place the lightners into an escapist fantasy. she believes that that's the best way to serve them and make them happy forever. as a darkner, queen has very much internalized the idea that a lack of control is what actually makes people happy. since darkners have no choice in their destinies and are supposed to be happy in it, and since she personally finds her role as a darkner fulfilling, she believes that that's true of all people everywhere. if you want to make people happy, you just have to remove that pesky personal agency!

so she spends the story trying to force the lightners and particularly noelle into situations where she controls them in order to make them ostensibly happier. she does genuinely believe that this is the right thing to do, but as she finds out eventually, she's just wrong. noelle doesn't want that. queen believes that escapism is why the lightners use the internet... but that's totally wrong too.

while there are other searches mixed in, noelle is trying to use the internet to find her sister. instead of trying to hide from whatever happened, noelle wants to figure it out. queen's thesis about noelle and the lightners is proven wrong even before she personally encounters noelle in the dark world. it's just that queen doesn't realize it due to her limited perspective.

the concept of escapism being brought up with both queen and berdly is not there to say that the dark world is escapist. rather, it's there to say that it isn't. despite the dark worlds being a fantastical place, they are extremely real. to view them as a means of escape is foolhardy at best. you cannot act as though you are above consequences within them.

themes and ideas exist within the story for a sake of an audience. so let's get into the final character I need to discuss here. hopefully this will tie my thesis of deltarune together neatly.

that character is of course us. the player.

when creating a piece of fiction, an astute author will often identify and anticipate an audience's reactions to certain things in their work, and write things in such a way that they elicit the desired reactions. in essence, a writer is directing the "character" of the audience. how we feel and how we are anticipated to react to things is an integral part of nearly every fiction.

that effect is far more overt when dealing with metanarrative fiction that diegetically involves the audience. since the fiction is saying a lot of things about the general 'you,' the audience in aggregate, your reactions to certain things in the story have to be finely cued and anticipated by the author, so that the author can thus commentate on the reactions that you have to the story. the "character" you are assumed to inhabit is posited by the author to have certain traits.

to explain what I mean in plainer terms, I'll use the player of undertale's no mercy route as an example. because undertale is commenting on the way rpgs generally work. the player's behaviors in no mercy are attributed by characters in the story to be the result of us acting like a typical gamer. we kill the characters in the game because we want exp. and more than that, it's because we want to see everything the game has to offer. the role we inhabit in this role-playing game is that of a completionist. you could say that that's assumed to be our "character" in no mercy.

deltarune also posits that certain things are true of its audience. by being written to evoke certain cultural ideas, rpg tropes, and references to undertale, it guarantees that its audience will probably have certain traits, and spends a large amount of its conceptual focus commenting on those traits. one of those traits is nostalgia, which is probably an idea that I'll expound upon in a further essay because it's quite integral to my reading of deltarune. but the main one I mean to discuss here, and why I went off on this tangent about how audiences are dealt with in metafiction, is that we are posited as someone who believes in the logic of certain narratives.

deltarune's writing evokes a lot of portal fantasy narratives. alice in wonderland, narnia, pretty much every story where it's revealed at the end to be all a dream... the story of deltarune superficially resembles a lot of those. this, I think, is responsible for the popularity of the escapism theory. because those stories are often at their end about a child learning to put away fantasy and grow up, people tend to believe that deltarune must be about the same thing. but I truly don't think that deltarune is trying to do anything with that aspect of portal fantasy narratives, at least not directly. its main characters aren't involved in that exact type of coming-of-age arc.

instead, deltarune is very concerned with what happens to characters in fantasy, and specifically fantasy rpgs. if your world is deemed to not matter because it's a dream, what does that mean for you, who has no choice but to live in it? if you are an npc whose role has been predetermined for you via script, then can you ever decide for yourself what you want? what if you want to matter? what if you want to be your own person?

as the major controlling force of deltarune, we are initially cued to believe that deltarune is like a dream. it superficially fulfills so much of what we want from undertale fanon. hometown seems like it's a perfect idyllic town, at least until you start noticing the obvious cracks. and remember what I said about ralsei earlier? he is so reminiscent of asriel, and extremely eager to help us. it's not a stretch to say that making us specifically view deltarune as dreamlike and idyllic is probably part of his purpose in the game.

I would not say that we are posited as escapist. but the idea of escapism as brought up with queen and berdly is meant to strike at the heart of a much deeper idea that deltarune is trying to deconstruct. because if we view deltarune as a dream, escapist or otherwise, then we are inclined to write the internal realities of the characters inside off. the dark world can disappear without it mattering. we can control kris without it mattering. if it's all a dream, what does it matter? why should we care to let its characters go free? aren't we supposed to be in control?

if deltarune is an rpg... what is the significance of us interacting with it?

[rainydetectiveglitter]

𝔸𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝 ℝ𝕖𝕛𝕖𝕔𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀𝕤𝕠𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟

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Specific signs and placements can offer valuable insights into potential life challenges, such as feelings of rejection, isolation, or a sense of not quite belonging. While it's important to remember that astrology doesn't guarantee these experiences, it does provide us with clues about certain predispositions. Let's dive into each astrological placement and explore their nuanced, occasionally less favorable aspects. Shall we?

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Aquarius Sun or Aquarius Rising: Aquarius individuals are renowned for their unorthodox perspectives on life. Their innovative concepts and forward-thinking can make them trailblazers, yet their very distinctiveness may lead to alienation from the mainstream. Feeling like an outsider could be a consequence of their resistance to conformity. Capricorn Moon: The Capricorn Moon embodies emotional restraint and a penchant for seeming distant. While this serves as a protective mechanism, it might project emotional unavailability, causing others to perceive them as distant and possibly rejected. This distancing may result from an innate fear of vulnerability, creating an emotional wall that prevents close connections. Aquarius Moon: An Aquarius Moon can cultivate emotional detachment. While esteeming independence is empowering, it can also translate to challenges in forming profound emotional bonds. This emotional detachment could leave them feeling like strangers in situations that require emotional closeness. Their desire for emotional freedom might inadvertently lead to isolation, leaving them longing for deeper connections. Uranus in the 1st House: Uranus' placement in the 1st house fuels a yearning to break free from societal norms. While this rebellion can empower, it might also attract resistance from those who prefer conventionality, potentially evoking feelings of isolation. Their pursuit of individuality may inadvertently push away those who struggle to understand their need for autonomy. Saturn in the 11th House: Saturn's presence in the 11th house can give rise to concerns about rejection or isolation within social circles. The quest for like-minded companions could lead to a sensation of not entirely belonging or being embraced. The fear of rejection might cause them to hesitate when forming new connections, leading to self-imposed isolation. South Node in the 7th House: A South Node in the 7th house hints at past-life patterns of assigning excessive importance to relationships. Consequently, a tendency to feel incomplete or rejected when not in a partnership might eclipse personal growth. This longing for companionship might cause them to rush into relationships that aren't aligned with their true selves, leading to a cycle of feeling isolated within partnerships. Chiron in Challenging Aspect to Personal Planets: Chiron's influence in demanding aspects (conjunction, square, opposition) to personal planets can rouse wounds linked to rejection and being an outsider. These wounds could manifest as deep-rooted insecurities and difficulties forging connections. These wounds may stem from early experiences of rejection, causing them to put up barriers to protect themselves from further hurt. 12th House Placements: Planets situated in the 12th house, particularly personal planets, can evoke a sense of isolation and confinement. This may materialize as an internal struggle to convey oneself to the external world, triggering feelings of rejection. They might battle with a sense of invisibility, struggling to express themselves authentically to others, leading to feelings of isolation. Difficult Aspects to the Moon: Challenging aspects to the Moon (conjunction, square, opposition) can indicate emotional hurdles that impede emotional expression. This could result in a sense of isolation or feeling unaccepted by others on an intimate level. These emotional challenges might result from past experiences of emotional rejection, leading them to withhold their true feelings to avoid being hurt again.

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While these astrological placements might harbor the potential for encountering rejection or isolation, it's essential to recognize that astrology serves as a tool for self-awareness and growth. By acknowledging these inclinations, individuals can actively strive to embrace their distinctiveness, heal past wounds, and cultivate self-belonging, even in the face of adversity. Through comprehension and self-acceptance, we can transcend the challenges that these placements may present and embark on a more gratifying trajectory.

[trans-queen-administrator]

Hey, can I hear about your shatterbird thoughts? She's always been my favourite member of the nine :]

[@faultlinescrew]

Oh I'm about to type for entirely too long.

Alright so a chunk of this is kinda headcanon, but any of that is fully based on canon. I had a giant fanfic planned that was literally an expanded telling of Shatterbird's life from trigger to death, and some plot points there may bleed into this unconsciously.

Number one favorite thing about Shatterbird is that initially, she did nothing wrong. She was unwillingly dosed with a Cauldron vial, and her scream and subsequent exploding of Dubai wasn't her fault. She had no intention to hurt anyone, it was done entirely out of her control as she gained powers and she should not be blamed for her first time destroying a city. The thing is, that doesn't matter in universe. She's still going to be hunted down by countless capes because she killed an untold number of people with that scream. No one's going to just let her go because it wasn't her fault, because she's the only person who can be blamed. People want revenge for their loved ones, and I'm willing to bet that she had a sizable bounty. It's similar to the situation we see with Rachel, where she can't have a normal life because she killed someone in her trigger and her identity is public, but on a much much larger scale.

I think the guilt ate at her so fucking bad at first. She killed her dad, her friends, her sister, her mother, countless others, and as much as it wasn't her fault she's still the one that did it. There's no way she doesn't blame herself for what happened, but when does she even have time to mourn? She's fled to a desert, she's gotta be struggling with food and water, and she's being hounded at every turn by people who want her dead. What's she supposed to do, let them kill her so she can atone for what she did or something?

I just love what a tragic backstory this is. She's one of the most horrible people we meet in canon, and I don't think it's unreasonable to say she has one of the highest body counts on Earth Bet, but she started as someone innocent and desperately trying to survive. And as much as I love this backstory and will defend to the death that she did nothing wrong at this point, it doesn't excuse who she becomes.

Shatterbird laughed.  “There’s only two ways to recover from something of that magnitude, to deal with the fact that you inadvertently killed thousands and thousands of people, and hospitalized twice that many.  You break, or you become it.”

(quote is from the missing interlude)

This is the quote that puts her entire character in a nutshell. The biggest question to me is... when did she become it? She implies in that interlude that it was rather quick, and that she went to Britain so she could hit a big target, but the Tattletale clone calls this out as a lie. She was running, the desert that she'd been in for months was unbearably loud with all that sand, and I think she was sick of living on the run. She wanted society, structure, something to make her feel human. I think she's full of shit saying she went there to destroy it, some accident or desperate confrontation occurred (timeline fits well enough for it to be a result of the Simurgh's attack, but that's just one possibility) and she broke London just as bad as she broke Dubai. What do you even do from there? Any slim hope of clearing her name is gone, she just has to keep running and try to ignore the guilt. And she ran to America, where the Slaughterhouse Nine found her.

The recruiting of people by the Slaughterhouse Nine fascinates me, because most are unwilling to join at first. Unfortunately the alternative is to die. No one in Brockton Bay was jumping to be the lucky winner, and the only people we know nominated themselves are Cherish and I think Siberian. Shatterbird (ever notice how she's the only S9 member with no canon first name? drives me nuts) was dragged into the recruitment process with no say in the matter just like most everyone is. Someone in the Nine found her, thought she would be a good fit because of London and Dubai (and how would that feel, to have someone on the S9 see you as just as bad as them?) and even if she explains that was on accident... what does it matter? It never matters that it was an accident. It never will matter. It's just something that she can tell herself to keep her sane.

So she's doing the fun little tests, I'm actually very curious how she altered herself for Mannequin's since he always does the same test, she's a very vain person, but that's off topic. Atrocities, horrors, being hunted by the Siberian, and suddenly she's at the end. Her and someone else.

“That’s not really a test,” Shatterbird spoke, “There hasn’t been a round of testing since I joined the group where we didn’t whittle it down to one candidate.” “We could forego the final test, pitting them against one another.” Shatterbird turned to him, “Ah.  But, again, the last test where we had to go that far was… mine?”

And she kills them. Dubai, London, those were accidents. This was on purpose, maybe even the first time she's done it on purpose. She could either break and decide she couldn't live with herself as a member of the nine, or she could just as horrible as everyone sees her. All her choices were rigged, there was never much of an opportunity to get better since so many paths closed off to her, but she voluntarily chooses to get worse. What's the point in holding on to the fact that it wasn't her fault at the beginning? She's never escaping what she did, so she'll become the monster everyone sees her as. You break, or you become it.

And there's not much of the more sympathetic side of Shatterbird in canon (partly because her backstory chapter was removed). She's fully embraced herself as a mass murderer. She revels in the attention, the fear. She parrots Jack's philosophy as a way to feel better about what she's doing, and eventually she doesn't need to feel better because she enjoys who she is now.

I don't know, I rambled for a while there but it boils down to me being fascinated by the circumstances of her gaining powers, and the shift from innocent but hated/feared to making damn sure that fear is justified.

Ok, so moving on from the backstory analysis, other miscellaneous details. Fuck it, I'm putting every thought I have on Shatterbird in this post.

She's the Nine's primary recruiter! Woo, good for her. Notably, she recruits Burnscar. Mimi is in a similar position to Shatterbird's past self with the whole involuntary mass destruction, although on a lesser scale (it'll always be on a lesser scale, Shatterbird has the worst trigger event out there in terms of consequences and she didn't even trigger). Mimi was on the streets and trying not to use her power, and Shatterbird scooped her up into the Nine.

“I- before I knew it, the Slaughterhouse Nine had found me.  Shatterbird recruited me.  And now I’m stuck.  I’m trapped.  You know there’s a kill order out on me?  If I try to quit, either the Nine or the cops will off me.  So I keep going, I work for them, and it all just gets worse.”

It's a situation Shatterbird can very likely relate to, but she's perpetuating it and making Mimi suffer like she did. No sympathy, no helping someone get through it and avoid the pitfalls she fell into, she's dragging other people down with her like a crab in a pot. Worth noting that I believe she's still bitter about the hand she was dealt even if she's embraced where it led her to, she remembers how horrible it was to be forced into everything and she does not care if she inflicts it on others.

But if someone else willingly joins the Nine, she takes it personally. Cherie says Shatterbird hates her, and that's because Cherie chooses the life Shatterbird was locked into. She's bitter that she never had that choice, and so she makes sure Cherie understands what it's like by chasing her for days for her test, not allowing any rest or sleep. However, this could also simply because Cherie sucks and is an unpleasant person to talk to, and Shatterbird is stuck-up.

Another thing I like is Shatterbird's appearance of knowledge and elegance. She's trying to appear put together, confident, in-control, and to be fair she does a pretty good job, her costume and theming are great. But under that is someone violent and angry, she's keeping up appearances to everyone else but also to herself. The fact that she's always trying to keep up appearances, even when locked in a room and doomed to die with one Witness (haha get it) she's trying to make it look like she was calm and in control when her body is found, is what 100% convinces me exploding Britain was an accident. The Tattletale clone calls her out, and to me it seems like another attempt to seem in control by framing it as deliberate.

Anyway, my attempts to woobify a mass murderer aside, I also like that she was a spoiled rich kid before all this and her prim asshole attitude points to that. She quotes Edgar Allen Poe, she reads because it makes her feel better than others, she's just so pretentious and unpleasant and to be clear I love this as a character trait, it's fun and leads to her speaking in overdramatic ways.

“Then you should know, nearly-Tattletale, that I’ve spent too long in the company of monsters to be scared by words.”

She thinks she was soooo cool saying that.

I also want to look at the last few weeks of her life. She spends so much effort propping herself up as great and in control, only to be locked in a box and puppeted around against her will. Genuinely I cannot think of anything more humiliating and agonizing for her to endure. She has nothing to do but think as she's used as a marionette.

She had a long time to reflect on her life, to look back at how she got here and what she regrets.

But I think she spent it stewing in her rage, itching and planning to get violent revenge and keep hurting others to be respected. She's unwilling and unable to go back, she'll double down on this forever because this is who she is now. And because 99% of characterization for Shatterbird isn't in Worm anyway, I may as well toss in this minor AU summary by Wildbow. If she escaped, she would have started her own version of the Nine with Damsel of Distress and Trickster. There is nothing left to sympathize with or redeem Shatterbird by the time we see her in canon, she's simply past that point. Side note but Shatterbird + Damsel of Distress + Trickster as a team is perhaps the funniest combo ever and I really wish those 3 fuckers got to interact in canon. Weirdo assholes who dress up fancy and have a taste for theatrics as a murder crew, we were robbed.

I could analyze the Hookwolf interlude but I don't want to. I'm very annoyed that Shatterbird (still no first name) is the only member of the Nine to lose the fight against her recruit instead of appearing terrifying and unstoppable. How come Burnscar can solo Faultline's crew but 3 nazis can take out Shatterbird, who has way more experience? It's pretty uncomfortable to have the only member of the Nine who isn't white be the one that loses to nazis, while one calls her a slur in his internal monologue, in the interludes where everyone else on her team is introduced as a force of nature. I think we should just collectively agree to make this interlude not canon and un-retcon the Witness interlude. While I'm on the topic it's also a bit questionable to have Sophia and Shatterbird (no first name. I am annoyed by this) as the only named capes puppeted by Regent?

But that's not the topic I wanna explore. The topic is that Shatterbird is a great character and I wish that she had depth in the story itself rather than scattered through 20 different sources, because she's legitimately my favorite non-undersider in the story. There is a lot of potential to explore her, one could interpret her backstory in a less charitable way than I did just for an example, and I really think she's neat! She takes hurting someone in an accident and then becoming the monster people see her as, something we see a few times throughout worm, to its ultimate conclusion in terms of scale. That alongside her outer layer of intellectualism and pretentiousness, which I'm a massive sucker for as a trait, and she's just perfect. Did nothing wrong (citation needed). I love her and I do hope that at least some of the stuff written her makes someone appreciate her character more.

Ok! That was... 2.2k words about Shatterbird (no first name). Woo! If some stuff seems inconsistent between paragraphs here, it's probably because I wrote this in chunks over the course of a few weeks and my feelings at the time can influence my interpretation of things and my writing to feel different when read all at once and compared. If you think I'm woobifying her too much, cool. I think it makes her more compelling to examine how much we know was her fault and how much she shouldn't be blamed for, and making her have less agency makes her more tragic which I always like. If you actually read this to the end, thank you! Have a nice day!

[shaunashipman]

Eddie was definitely more queercoded than Buck. He is written as a repressed gay man in comphet relationships. Buck's queercoding mostly consisted of one-off jokes while Eddie's has been baked into all of his romantic storylines. Also no one is saying he's gay because he treats women poorly. The reason he inadvertently hurts his partners is because he is trying to force himself into relationships that will never work. Calling that homophobic is laughable because so many gay men have dated women as beards which obviously ends up hurting the women. It's just a fact. It's honestly homophobic the way so many bucktommy shippers are obsessed with eddie being straight even when a multitude of gay people see themselves in him. Or does the gay male perspective only matter when in concerns tommy lol

ok, I wasn't even going to get into this. idc if you see eddie is queer, that's your prerogative. but you brought this into my inbox.

to start with, there are plenty of bucktommy shippers who also think eddie is gay. and the ones who don't are not obsessed with eddie being straight, we're just tired of it being touted as the only possible reading and if you don't get that then you're stupid. kind of like how they are with buddie

also buck's queercoding has not been one-off jokes, y'all just seem to think that queercoding that isn't angsty is being played for jokes.

but let's get into the queercoding of eddie

"baked into all his romantic storylines" all 3 of them? that gigantic number? let's go through them.

shannon. yes, only married because they got pregnant. but they got pregnant through having sex, which eddie was shown, multiple times, to enjoy having with shannon, a woman. she left him (not going deeply into her reasons, I've talked about what I think of shannn and her leaving) and eddie's response was to devote himself to being a father, then moved across country to the same place she was, implicitly because he wanted to make up with her, but couldn't work up the courage until forced. when he did contact her, his initial refusal to let her see chris was both because he didn't yet trust her again with chris and because he didn't trust her with himself. while deciding whether or not to let her see chris, they were fucking like bunnies. again, that eddie was shown very much to enjoy, to the point that it is explicitly something he fantasized about in s7. after he let her see chris again, we didn't see as much of them, but what we did see was the actions of a normal couple. then she said she thought she was pregnant and he re-proposed. could it be that eddie simply felt trapped again? sure. but if that were the case he could have simply not began a relationship with her again to start with. he had the excuse ready baked in of "we need to focus on chris". then she turned out not to be pregnant, asked for a divorce and died, and he's spent the last 5-15 years mourning and pining for her.

ana. initially met as a teacher at chris' school who eddie had an immediate crush on. didn't go anywhere that season because she was chris' teacher. when they met again eddie's only hesitance to date her was framed as trauma from shannon divorcing him and dying. then we get to s5 and his panic attack. which most took as being about the "ready-made family". I took as, the shop worker called ana chris' mom, chris' mom died, ana could die, cue panic attack. the only part of this relationship that I can remotely see as being indicative of sexual repression is how the break up went, which could also just be a result of his slow breakdown which had already been cooking for several months.

marisol. who eddie perused after he got out of the date his tía set up, talked to some people and decided he was ready to date again. then we didn't really see them again until the nun episode. also the point where so many ignored the majority of the ep just because eddie was talking about religion. also basically the only time religion has come up for eddie in more than passing, despite religious repression supposedly playing a large role in his queercoding. again, a relationship where eddie is shown to enthusiastically enjoy sex with women. his sudden hesitance to have sex with marisol was completely about her having been a nun, which if anything is about the madonna/whore complex, not about eddie's sexuality. and then eddie fucks up the relationship due to the shannon!doppler, because he's still in love with shannon NOT because he's closeted.

so where is the plethora of queercoding in all his relationships? and if all his relationships are comphet, but he's never shown an attraction to men (and he hasn't, not objectively, because him "looking" at buck is not attraction) why is him being gay the only option? what about asexual? or aromantic? or even bisexual, since as I've pointed out, he clearly enjoys sex with women.

also his poor treatment of the women he dates can very easily be traced to him growing up in a very patriarchal household, where dad works to the detriment of not knowing his kids, mom's job is to take care of the kids, and he as the only boy was delegated to the "man of the house" at a very young age. an extremely common family dynamic, and one that despite working on in other aspects, eddie clearly still ascribes to in some way, by how he's continuously looking for a wife and a mother, not a partner. could be that he's gay, could be that he was raised in a misogynistic world.

If you see him as gay, great, good for you. but to insist that that's the only correct view is wrong. and since you ended with an "lol" showing how seriously you take this, I'm gonna end with this

ryan, the one who plays eddie, has said multiple times now that eddie is heterosexual. and before you start, oliver at no point ever referred to buck as straight before the bisexual arc so 🤷‍♀️

[disneydarlin]

Encanto: Bruno Madrigal —Aesthetic

Bruno Madrigal's Character & Personality

Bruno is a man somewhere in his fifties who's the youngest triplet child of Alma and Pedro. He was gifted with the ability to see the future. Due to his precognition gift, Bruno has been labeled as someone who "makes bad things happen" by others when he's merely the requested bearer of the news. He's kind-hearted, caring, fairly comical, quiet and shy. Unfortunately, Bruno is easily nervous and suffers from anxiety. He's insecure and avoidant because he believes others' accusations of his gift causing problems. Bruno is described as introverted and socially awkward. Whenever he had a prophecy, he inadvertently hurt or angered people, causing him to retreat from society to avoid upsetting anyone. Bruno's gift made him paranoid and fearful of his surroundings. Thus, he uses a sand-based ritual to help focus and control his power. As a result of living ten years in isolation, Bruno developed odd behaviors, like knocking on wood, stumbling, muttering, and two alternate identities to keep himself occupied. Though he claimed to be fine alone, he actually missed his family and wished to be with them despite their negative perceptions of him. Since his gift didn't live up to his mother's expectations, Bruno is intimidated by her, even though he wants to make her proud. Beyond this, he's gentle with animals. Bruno befriended the rats living in Casa's walls, sharing what little food he has with them and enjoying their company. When the house crumbles, he takes them with him before escaping. Bruno even accepts his nephew's animal friends, letting his capybara's join the vision and allowing the coatimundi to hang from his shoulder. More than anything, he's selfless with a strong love and loyalty to his family. Despite the way some treated him, Bruno isn't spiteful and has a forgiving heart. He's willing to do anything to protect his relatives from being treated the same way he was. This is because Bruno's greatest wish is to help his family, especially his older sisters and brother-in-laws. The misunderstanding at Pepa's wedding arose from his attempt to help her relax and embrace her emotions with an ill-worded joke. Although the townspeople were afraid of him, Bruno happily works with them in rebuilding the house, having a close bond with them. After he's reaccepted into his family, he becomes more cheerful and enthusiastic.

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART FIVE: NUDES

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Mentions of Depression, Anxiety

PLEASE COMMENT AND ENGAGE!

A few more days had passed and, even though you saw Cillian every day at school, the situation between you had not changed.

You tried to keep your distance from each other and, again, he never called you out to answer any questions which, at least to James, seemed strange.

On several occasions, he asked whether Cillian was intimidated by you and, of course, this comment itself amused you.

“Why would he be intimidated by me? I am his student” you explained which is when James put the lack of interaction between Cillian and you down to the fact that you were doing well in his course. Perhaps, Cillian did not have to call you out because he knew that you knew the answers to his questions.

Despite your lack of interaction with each other though, quite often, you noticed Cillian glance at you in a very unconventional way. It was almost like he was day-dreaming about you and you enjoyed this kind of inadvertent attention from him. It was a fixation and desire of some sort, which was undeniable for you both and it made you feel wanted and desirable.

Unfortunately for you though, his interest in you grew to a point where he noticed everything, but not in the way you had expected. He noticed the changes in your behaviour when you were around him and he noticed that, during the past few days, you had been standing up to James who, as usual, was criticising you for not wanting to go out partying with him.

Then, on Tuesday morning, when you arrived at school, Cillian also unfortunately noticed some bruises on your face and wrists which, despite your best efforts to hide them, you could not.

You had already taken a day off because of them but, since you needed to comply with your scholarship conditions, another day of leave was not an option for you without a medical certificate.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Cillian thus asked pretty much as soon you walked into the lecture hall before anyone else had even arrived yet. You had ballet practice at seven o’clock that morning and were early as usual.

“Nothing, I just fell” you lied, not wanting to tell him the truth.

“You fell? How?” he enquired, not believing a word you had just said to him.

“When dancing. Don’t worry. I am fine” you reassured him while, the truth was, that you were far from being fine. You were hurt, upset and scared.

The bruises were not the result of an accident during your routine at all but rather the wilful act of your very own boyfriend. It was not the first time he had done this and you knew that it would not be the last. James had hit you in a drunken state after he found out that, during the break you took from each other, you slept with another man.  

Whilst he did not know who the man was, he knew that he was much older than you and this bothered him. It was something your friend Lorraine had told him after Lorraine and you had a fight the day prior. She thus broke your trust and her promise to secrecy, accusing you of getting involved with a stranger at a bar who was twice your age.

With that knowledge, and in a rather drunken state, James did the unthinkable to you. He hit you across the face and called you a whore before threatening you if you ever thought to leave him again.

“I am not an idiot Y/N. I know what these bruises are. They aren’t the result of an accident” Cillian told you but you did not want to talk about it any further.

“Please Cillian. I am fine. This is none of your business” you told him but Cillian would not let it go.

“James did this to you, didn’t he?” he asked, causing you to sigh. “You need to report him” he then went on to say, but you shook your head.

“No. I can’t. You wouldn’t understand” you said just before a few students walked into the room, interrupting your private conversation.

“Let’s talk later, alright?” Cillian then asked and you nodded before getting yourself another coffee from the cafeteria.

Two hours later…

While Cillian thought about you and pondered about what happened between you and James and why, after all this, you would be staying with him, he knew that he had to concentrate on class. He had to focus and put his mind at ease which, in the end, he did.

He continued with the curriculum as planned and literally none of the students were prepared for what he had in store for them that day, including you.

“Now that everyone has been assigned an individualised role to work on with me in a one on one lesson, we will also be working on a character role in a group scenario. Every student will perform the exact same scene and I can tell you that it will be a challenging one” Cillian said to the class as he was introducing a new play to his lessons.

“You will each be given a partner to act out this scene and the point of this exercise is for you to learn how to improvise on stage. You will each only get thirty minutes to rehearse and this means that, whilst you need to try and remember your lines in a short amount of time, I do not care much about how accurate your repetition of the lines is when you are in front of an audience. So long as you play the part and improvise, you will be fine…alright….” Cillian went on to say before explaining that, in the end of your subject, and after you have been assessed on both performances separately, namely this one and your individualised one, you will be writing an essay, comparing both roles and experiences.

“Does this make sense guys?” Cillian then asked and, after everyone nodded, he carried on.

“Good. Now, since we have an uneven number of students in this class, I will be participating too and, unfortunately for the person paired with me, we will be going first” Cillian announced before asking Lorraine to come up and assist him with the drawing of names, noting that the couples were to be selected at random from a large plastic bowl filled with snippets of paper, each containing one name.

“Yes, of course, Mr Murphy, but only if I can role play with you“ Lorraine teased in the most seductive way possible, causing you to cringe and Cillian to furrow his eyebrows.

“Trust me Lorraine, you don’t want me as your partner for this exercise. It will be much easier with a fellow student” Cillian told her almost sternly, but she would not relent.

“Well, doesn’t that depend on the kind of exercise and role play you want us to partake in? I mean, none of us know what the scene will be yet and, for all I know, it could be rather kinky” Lorraine then joked but Cillian did not appear to be amused.

“Moving on…” Cillian thus gestured and, with that, Lorraine adjusted her tight skirt and walked up towards Cillian in order to help him with the draw.

Unlike her, you hoped that your name would be drawn with someone other than Cillian (or James for that matter) and, when you heard James’s name come up first, your heart began to pound rapidly. He was your boyfriend, yes, but he was also a terrible actor who, just two days ago, had hit you across the face, causing you to break up with him once more. Plus, he most certainly did not take this unit seriously and this, too, bothered you more than a little considering the effort you had put into your education.

Luckily for you however, and unfortunately for Lorraine, she was paired with James as her name was called out second in line and even Cillian’s sense of relief was obvious to you when Lorraine pulled her own name from the hat. He was becoming annoyed by her constant sexual advances towards him and so was the remainder of the class. They were appalled and, ever since your fight, her behaviour had gotten worse.

Then, a few more names were called out until, eventually, your name was drawn and written on to the chalk board by Cillian.

“And Y/N will be paired with…” Lorraine began to say after discarding the piece of paper with your name on it and reaching for another.

She unfolded it slowly and then sighed with frustration. “Cillian” she sighed and your heart sank into the ground. Ideally, you wanted to request a redraw but you knew that, if you were to request such redraw, you would be looking like a fool. So, you remained silent until all the names had been drawn.

“Great, now teams, you have thirty minutes to learn and rehearse your lines and, if you forget some of them, don’t worry. The play is a difficult one and I want to see you come up with some improvisation skills on stage. This is what acting is all about” Cillian explained and, when you read through the script he had handed out to you and the rest of the class, you realised that this was a play you were familiar with. You had read it before, more than once. It was a piece that fascinated you. It was one of your favourites and made you smile.

The play was called “Yerma” and had been written by the Spanish dramatist Federico García Lorca. It was written in 1934 and first performed that same year. It was a tragic poem in which a woman by the name of Yerma had to deal with the inability to conceive a child with her husband Juan, in this case portrayed by Cillian, after he had prompted you take on the role of Yerma herself.

 Since the play was dealing with the themes of infertility, isolation, passion, and frustration, you knew that your character was a difficult one to portray. It was all about showing Yerma’s emotions while taking into account the underlying themes of nature, marriage, jealousy, and friendship.

It was intense and you knew that acting this scene out with Cillian could become somewhat problematic.

“How is this not going to be awkward?” you whispered to him as, just like the others, Cillian approached you and sat down with you, one on one, to rehearse your lines.

“It won’t be if you just focus on your character, I promise” Cillian then said reassuringly and, much to his surprise, you turned over the script and began raddling down the lines.

The act he had chosen was the final act of the play where Yerma kills her husband and you already knew how it panned out.

“You know the lines?” Cillian asked surprised as you spoke them quickly, causing you to nod.

“I read that play over and over again a few years ago when I was going through some things. It is an amazing piece of writing and it is one of my favourite plays” you told him and he was clearly impressed by the fact that you knew about it.

“Did you ever see it being performed?” Cillian then asked and you nodded again.

“Yes. But only through a stream online” you told him while you already knew what he was about to say next. He wanted you to show your emotions, in front of the entire class and you were afraid to do so.

“Right, then put some emotion into your performance Y/N. You can do it. I know you can” Cillian reassured you and you tried it again, and again until, eventually, you got there in the end and he pulled you up on stage.

Of course, just as you were standing in front of the class with him, your nervousness sat in and when you heard James and Lorraine giggle in the background, you felt sick to the core and immediately forgot your very first line.

“Breathe and forget about them. I can hear them too, but I choose to ignore them. You can do it too” Cillian whispered so that only you could hear him before addressing the class once more, asking them to be quiet while you performed this scene with him.

The scene began near a hermitage high in the mountains, a place to which many barren women, including Yerma, had made a pilgrimage. Young men were there too, hoping to father a child or to win a woman away from their husbands and your respective dialogues began just after an old woman told your character Yerma to leave her husband Juan and take up a relationship with her son instead.

But, in this scene, Yerma held on to her sense of honour and dismissed that thought which was something her husband Juan overheard. Juan then told his wife to give up wanting a child and to be content with what she had.

***Start of Scene***

 Cillian: This is your last chance to resist this continual lament for shadowy things, outside existence, for things that are lost in the breeze.

Y/N (with dramatic astonishment): Outside existence you say? Lost in the breeze, you say?

Cillian: Things which haven’t happened and neither you nor I can control.

Y/N (violently and filled with anger): Go on, go on!

Cillian (emotionally and upset): For things that don’t’ matter. Do you hear? That have no importance to me. That’s what I had to say to you. What matters to me is what I can hold in my hands, what I can see with my eyes.

Y/N (falling to her knees, desperately): That’s it. That’s it. That’s what I wanted to hear from your mouth. Truth is not felt when it’s inside oneself, but how vast it is, how loud it cries, when it emerges, and raises its arms! It’s doesn’t matter! Now, I’ve heard you!

Cillian (approaching you and embracing you in order to help you rise): Think that it had to be so. Listen to me. Many women would be happy to live your life. Life is sweeter without children. I’m happy without them. It’s not your fault.

Y/N: What did you seek in me, then?

Cillian: Yourself.

Y/N (excitedly): You wanted a home, tranquillity and a woman. But nothing more. Is that true?

Cillian: It’s true. As everyone else does.

Y/N: And the rest? Your son?

Cillian (firmly): Didn’t you hear, it doesn’t matter! Don’t ask me again! Do I have to shout it in your ear so you can understand, and live peacefully for once!

Y/N (pulling Cillian onto the ground): And you’ve never thought about it even when you could see I wanted one?

Cillian: Never.

Y/N: I’m not to hope for one?

Cillian (before embracing you): No. But we shall be living peacefully. Both of us: in gentleness and friendship. Embrace me!

Y/N: What do you want?

Cillian: I want you. In the moonlight you are beautiful.

Y/N (crying): You want me as if you were wanting a pigeon to eat.

Cillian: Kiss me…like this.

Y/N (before grasping Cillian by his throat and acting out his death and then your own): No! Never! I’ll sleep, without waking with a start to see if my blood announces new blood. With a body barren forever. 

Y/N (addressing the audience in tears): What do you want? Don’t come near me: because I’ve murdered my child! I’ve killed my own son!

 ***End of Scene***

 Just as you finished the scene with only some minor improvisation on your part, Cillian glanced at you with surprise. The way you portrayed Yerma was incredible and it took you a little moment to snap out of your character again.

You were well and truly surprised by your own abilities and, for a short moment, you were lost for words until reality sank back in and you heard them again.

James and Lorraine were giggling still while Cillian addressed the class and thanked you for your performance.

“Jesus Christ Y/N! This was intense. I am surprised you didn’t just make out with our lecturer on stage. So inappropriate” Lorraine teased, causing James too laugh. “I would call this sexual harassment Mr Murphy” he said, trying to annoy you and causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow.

“Do you guys have anything of value to add, perhaps? Because, if you do not, then I would like to move on without any further interruptions from you” Cillian then said, causing Lorraine to flinch and James to laugh.

“Should I be jealous of our lecturer Y/N?” James teased, seeing that Lorraine had turned quiet now rather quickly. “I mean, clearly, he was holding back a little when he told you to kiss and embrace him. Maybe he fucking wants you and, knowing what I know now, you probably like him too. He is old enough to spark your interest, isn’t he? Twice your age, just like that dude you hooked up with a few weeks ago? Bloody disgusting” James said as you sat back down in front of him and, by this point, you were well and truly fuming with anger.

“Shut up James. I was doing what we are meant to do. We are here to learn how to perform on stage but all you do is act like a little brat. Because that is what you are, a spoiled little child” you spat so that at least half of the class could hear you, including Cillian.

“Oh, I act like a child now, do I?” James asked. He was angered. Very angered. “You just fucking cried like a baby about some stupid play while hitting on our lecturer like a slut” he then laughed, referencing your tears on stage and, luckily for you, Cillian heard everything what was said.

“James, enough. What is going on?” he asked sternly, wanting to pull James aside to tell him off.

“Nothing. I am just having a word with my girlfriend” James explained but you were emotionally drained and rather upset by this point.

“I am not your girlfriend anymore” you reminded him but James shook his head.

“We will see about that” he told you and, again, you sighed with anger.

“No James. I done with this. I am fucking done with you. No matter what you do I am fucking done” you said quietly but sternly and James quickly took hold of your wrist before pressing down on it harshly.

“No you are not done with me” he spat. “You always come crawling back to me because you have no other choice. Just remember that” he then went on to say while you tried to pull away from him, which is also when Cillian intervened.

“Enough James! Let go of her arm! Now!” Cillian said as he approached James who quickly retreated from you.

“Alright man, here…I won’t touch her again. She is a fucking whore anyway” James chuckled and, by this point, Cillian had enough and asked him to leave the class room with him.

“Come with me James” he ordered while waiting for him with his arms crossed.

“No” James responded bluntly but Cillian would not and did not relent.

“You either come with me now or I will call security. Behaviour like this is intolerable and needs to be addressed by the board. Now stand up and move” Cillian said, forcing James to follow him while giving the other students a break and telling them to keep rehearsing their lines.

***

With James gone and the likelihood of him being temporarily expelled from school over his conduct in class, Cillian postponed the remainder of the lecture until tomorrow while dealing with some administerial concerns.

Not only did he have to write a report about James and his conduct in class, but also did he have to speak with you and the student counsellor about the possibility of you bringing assault charges against him.

Knowing what you have been through in the past however, Cillian was aware of the fact that you might not like to speak with the counsellors at the school and, thus, he gave you the opportunity to speak with him first, in private.

With that in mind, you walked to his office after the lecture had been postponed and just as he opened the door and you entered the room, you broke out in tears.

“I am so sorry. I feel like a fool” you said while, somewhat inappropriately, Cillian took you into his arms, embracing you in a tight hug.

“So, you feel like a fool?” Cillian asked while holding you tight. “It should be James who feels like a fool, not you. You did nothing wrong” Cillian then told you and you pulled away from him, simply just to look him into his eyes.

“No, it is me. I am acting like a fool. I should not have gone back to him after what he did to me. It wasn’t then first time his hand slipped and, to tell you the truth, I am just used to being treated like this” you told Cillian who used his thumbs to wipe away your tears.

“No one should treat you like this. You are a strong woman and should stand up for yourself” Cillian then said while gently brushing over your bruises and you nodded reluctantly in response.

“Is he being expelled?” you then asked and Cillian sighed, seeing that you still cared about James.

“That depends on what I write in my report” Cillian told you before asking you what it was that you wanted him to write.

“He went through a lot as well. He’s been through therapy and all…” you began to explain to Cillian who interrupted you quickly.

“There is no excuse for his behaviour. I know that you love him, but he cannot treat you like this. He is being abusive and it needs to stop. You are a smart woman and surely you can see that he is hurting you” Cillian lectured you and you were quick to respond.

“I do not love him Cillian. I haven’t loved him for a long time but he is fucking obsessed with me and has threatened me many times” you said and Cillian queried your use of the word “threat”.

“Threatening you with what?” he asked and you turned silent again before taking in a deep breath and telling him everything.

“Violence. Exposing things that I have done and exposing pictures he has of me. Many things really” you told him but Cillian still believed that you should report his abusive behaviour to the school board as well as the police.

“Maybe one day I will, but not now” you told Cillian just as you heard a knock on the door to his office.

“Mr Murphy? It’s Janice, the school counsellor. I have been told that there was an incident in class with a male student attacking one of the female students” she blurted out from outside the door and, just as you were ready to leave, Cillian opened the door and allowed the counsellor to come inside.

“Is this the student?” was what she asked right of the bat when she saw you and, just as Cillian confirmed this to be the case, you spoke up.

“I am but I am not in need of counselling” you told her sternly before informing her that you already spoke to Cillian about the incident and have asked him to file a report on your behalf.

“Alright then, but if you change your mind, this is my number” Janice told you while handing you her business card and you took it quickly, shuffed it into your back and then said goodbye to Cillian and her.

The following two days…

Following numerous calls from James and messages containing both threats and apologies, he was expelled from school while the board began their investigations into the incident.

Just as you allowed it to happen, Cillian filed the report following your ex-boyfriend’s behaviour in class and this was enough for the dean to formerly remove him from all lectures and workshops on campus.

He was not allowed to come near you when you were on school premises but, since you did not have an apprehensive violence order against him, nothing prevented him from rocking up at your house.

Thus, just as you got home on Wednesday night, you found a note from him under the door with yet another threat and another apology and whilst you did not think anything about his somewhat obnoxious behaviour, nothing could prepare you for what you were about to wake up to the following morning.

The next morning, just after Emma had left the house in order to attend a three-day conference in Cork, you looked at your phone and were shocked to see that you had received over twenty notifications, being both calls and messages across all of your social media accounts.

You opened them all, one by one, to see what was going on and there it was. The unthinkable. A picture of you from two years ago which James took without your knowledge.

You were completely naked, laying on his bed in a compromising position and literally every inch of your body was visible to everyone who received this photograph.

To be continued…

Please comment and engage. I love getting comments and predictions pretty please!

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[rosemaidenvixen]

Between Daylight and Darkness

Chapter 5

<Previous Next>

Ao3

Over his many years in Trollmarket, and even Dwoza before that, Blinky had inadvertently found himself at the root of several market-wide disturbances. Usually as a result of his attempts to root out conspiracies. While Blinky considered a temporary chaos a necessary sacrifice in rooting out hated conspiracies from their market, others did not share this view, namely Vendel…among others.

But while today's events hadn’t been the result of one of Blinky’s attempts to uproot a conspiracy, the fact remained that this had the potential to be the largest catastrophe attached to his name yet.

Blinky cautiously peeked outside the stairway entrance, the cacophony of noise having greeted him halfway up the stairs, dreading what he might see.

Dozens of trolls rushed about, nervous chatter passing back and forth in voices ranging from hushed to booming. The word Trollhunter repeating again and again, underneath that was the occasional muttered ‘fleshbag’. Both the young Trollhunter and wayward humans had been lost somewhere in the crush of the crowd and the maze of buildings. The absence of their new Trollhunter and a lack of new information was making the crowd’s energy rise to a fever pitch. It would surely boil over unless someone stepped in and calmed them down.

And unfortunately it looked as though that someone was him.

Blinky climbed to the top of a large boulder, clearing his throat in preparation of raising his voice “Friends friends settle down! No need for a panic,”

Not every eye in the crowd turned towards him, but enough of them did that Blinky had to stop himself from squirming under their gaze.

“The new Trollhunter’s been chosen!” a voice called out from the back of the crowd “I saw them! They were here and then they ran off!”

Folding his two left arms behind his back Blinky used a right to point at the shouter “Right you are. The new Trollhunter is here, AAARRRGGHH and I escorted them to our fair market and their training will start post haste. So no cause for an uproar. You may all go about your bus–”

“They can’t be the new Trollhunter!” a new voice closer to the front cut in “They’re too damn young! Practically still a whelp!”

“Well you see–”

“And what about the fleshbags!? How’d they get in here?”

“Ah that’s an easy explanation, our new Trollhunter was protecting them from Bular–”

The second the Gumm Gumm prince’s name left his mouth a spike of alarm shot through the crowd, murmurings turning to panicked shouts and roars. 

Blinky froze, one hand still perched in midair.

Oh dear….

“But never fear! Bular was halted by the wards! There’s no danger here–”

His voice was lost in the din of the crowd, the trolls before him working themselves up into a frenzy, threatening to–

“What is the meaning of this!” 

In an instant every troll present in the square fell silent, Blinky included, swiveling towards the new voice. The crowd parting like all of the sea as Trollmarket’s elder made his way through.

“What sort of calamity justifies this ruckus?”

Both sets of hands netted behind Blinky’s back as he grinned down sheepishly at the approaching Vendel.

“Ah well it’s quite simple really, AAARRRGGHH and I found the new Trollhunter on the surface. They were in the process of rescuing a group of humans from Bular. Me and my mountainous companion then guided them to the safety of Trollmarket where…where…ummm…”

“Where you lost them,” Vendel said flatly “And unleashed a group of panicked humans upon our peaceful market,”

Blinky forced his grin so wide it hurt.

Vendel let out a low groan and kneaded the skin between his eyes with one hand, after a few moments he lifted the hand away from his face, jabbing a finger at Blinky then down directly in front of him.

Guts twisting in on themselves, Blinky got down from his perch and approached, AAARRRGGHH joining them until the three were bunched together.

“Only you could turn a simple retrieval mission into complete pandemonium…” Vendel muttered with a shake of his head.

“But at least we found the Trollhunter!” Blinky cut in “And brought them safely here, both them and the amulet out of reach of the dark clutches of Bular,”

“Believe me I know,” Vendel raised his head to look back at him “And I am more grateful than words can say for your doing so,”

Blinky felt all six of his eyes go wide  “Really!?”

Vendel flashed him a rare smile “Yes, but now that the immediate danger is past we must do damage control,”

He pointed the head of his staff at Blinky “Find where in Trollmarket our new hunter has run off to,” the staff pivoted up towards AAARRRGGHH “You gather the stray humans. I will settle the crowd, we’ll meet back up at my dwell with the Trollhunter to discuss what comes next,”

Both Blinky and AAARRRGGHH nodded affirmatively at this then began to move away to carry out their assigned tasks. Blinky made it a few steps then paused and turned back

“Ah! Vendel, what shall we do about…” he trailed off, the words sticking in his throat.

“About what Blinkous?”

“About…Draal,”

The mood between the three trolls shifted instantly, a shadow falling across Vendel’s face.

“We shall deal with Draal when the time comes, for now let’s focus on the problems we can control,”

With a quick nod and a heavy heart, Blinky turned away  and left the others behind as he headed down to narrower, less populated corridors of Trollmarket. Scanning every alley and crevice as he went.

Now if he was a wayward Trollhunter where would he hide? He was familiar enough with the various avenues to guess at which corridors to start, but Trollmarket was vast with many hidden nooks and crannies, more than enough places for a young troll to hide. Thankfully the commotion at the main entryway had attracted a large chunk of the market’s population, leaving the rest of the market sparse, so he wouldn’t have to fight through crowds while on his search.

Not to mention fewer trolls to hover over their new hunter and frazzle them more than they already were.

Reaching a crossroads, Blinky paused as he surveyed the paths ahead of him, tapping his chin thoughtfully. After a moments debate he chose his path and hurried on ahead.

It was no wonder the whelp had become overwhelmed and run off. There were full grown trolls that would quake at the responsibility of bearing the amulet of Daylight, to say nothing of how an unblooded stripling would react to such a monumental–

A blue flash in the corner of Blinky’s eye stopped him in his tracks, pulling his attention to a small alley. Moving quickly, he hurried over to the narrow stone corridor, sending a quick plea to Gorgus that his search was at an end. 

And perhaps Gorgus did decide to take pity on him because the Trollhunter sat just inside the alley. They were huddled on the ground holding their knees to their chest, breathing so fast and hard their whole body was quivering. Blinky fought to keep from wincing but couldn’t quite keep the grimace off his face.

This troll was so so young. Tusks small and horns rounded, nary a scar or a gouge to be seen. Where had this young troll come from, let alone come across the amulet? Blinky was familiar with all the whelps and striplings in Trollmarket and this fellow wasn’t any of them. The only thing he could think of was that they were part of a clan of surface dwelling nomads. But who would struggle with a whelp on the surface when a protected market full of resources was right below their feet…

Blinky shook his head. However it happened the amulet had chosen this stripling and they were here. It wasn’t within Blinky’s power to lift this burden from their young shoulders, but he could provide them sanctuary and the training to grow into their calling.

He cleared his throat softly, just enough to grab their attention.

The stripling stiffened, instantly going stone still on the ground.

“Are you alright?” Blinky spoke quickly, hoping to stop the young Trollhunter from running off in a panic again “You weren’t injured in your struggle with Bular were you?”

“No I–” the stripling gulped down a deep breath “I– I’m fine. That…Bular guy, is he…gone?”

“For all intents and purposes, yes. He cannot penetrate Trollmarket’s wards, you, and those humans you rescued, are safe down here,”

The stripling flopped back against the wall, arms and legs tumbling limp at their sides, practically melting into the stone, a deep shuddering breath escaping their chest.

“Oh, oh good, they’re…they’re safe,”

The corners of Blinky’s mouth twitched up into a smile. To have such care for even humans, going out of his way to rescue them from Bular when many a troll would have let them be slaughtered rather than risk their own stone. The young troll in front of him was still very much a stranger, but Blinky knew they had a kind heart. A thing which would serve them well as Trollhunter.

“So…this place is…Trollmarket?”

In an instant the smile dropped off of Blinky’s face. The stripling’s unfamiliarity with their surroundings was…troubling. Even exiles and surface dwelling nomads were still aware of Trollmarket. The only reasons he could think of such a young troll being completely oblivious were…tragic ones.

Blinky shook his head and stepped into the alley.

Well whatever their background was, this whelp had a home and community now.

“Correct, Trollmarket is hearth and home to many a troll,” he extended a hand down towards the stripling “Including you,”

The stripling blinked at the offered hand before turning their gaze up towards Blinky “T– troll, right,”

After a brief moment of hesitation they gripped the offered appendage and allowed Blinky to assist in pulling them up, standing on shaky legs.

“I am known as Blinky, son of the Galadrigal clan, Trollmarket’s principal librarian and scholar. Might I have something to call you?”

“J– Jim, son of…Barbara?”

“Well then young Master Jim, I am sure you have many questions,” Blinky stepped backwards out of the alley and stretched out his two right arms “I am happy to provide you with answers. If you would be so kind as to follow me, I know where we can discuss these matters in private,”

Jim appeared startled at his words, but he nevertheless stepped out of the alley after him “That– that would be great, thanks,”

Blinky fought down another smile as he turned and began leading the new Trollhunter towards Vendel’s dwell. Feeling not entirely at peace, but lighter than he had since before Kanjigar’s fall.

[song-birds-stuff]

FOP Fae Lore Hcs

- Many years before godparenting became a practice to the fae, they still hailed in the human realm, earth, forests were more enchanted and granted an amount of protection from magical predators.

- One of said predators is the fae's biggest and most dangerous predator, the tonorion, a massive insectoid beast that absorbs the magic in the air, eating fae of all kinds whole and alive, it's also known to attack humans who have the scent of magic on them, such as humans practicing witchcraft or godchildren, the attacks are in part due to tonorions mistaking them for fae, the attacks are usually mistaken as bear or other wild animal attacks by humans.

- It is harder for tonorions to find and attack fae that are in a group, for this reason godparents are typically in pairs, solo godparents are usually assigned to kids that are away from tonorion territory; that being forests so typically rather rich kids that are unlikely to go in a forest, this is especially common for brand new godparents.

- Fae created the fae realm, now known as Fairy World, for protection, portals to Fairy World come in the form of Fairy Rings, as their usually found in forests, this is why tonorions are typically found there.

- Back before godparenting became a practice, fairies would steal misbehaving human children, replacing them with a fae known as changelings, but over time fae began to care for humans, seeing these were not naughty awful children, but hurt and traumatized in need of help, so instead of stealing troubled children, they would guide and help them through childhood, rules were added for safety of both fae and humans alike but the rules became more strict over time until Da Rulez of today became known.

- Unfortunately, the changelings did not want to stop the old practice, they became dangerous, trying to lead godchildren to doom disguised as their godparents, steadily becoming more drastic and a danger to fae and humankind alike, eventually banned from both Fairy World and Anti Fairy World due to how truly deadly and harsh the changelings were.

- No one nowadays knows the true form of a changeling, they prefer to take the form of the last life they took, be it inadvertently or directly, changelings are considered severely dangerous, over centuries they have been known to intentionally cause godparents to go through magical backup, sell off fairy and anti-fairy wings to black markets on earth, kidnap fairies to sell them to humans practicing witchcraft looking for fairies for potion making, they have been known to also eat fae, particularly the anti-fairies exposed form as it gives them more magical power especially when eaten whole and wriggling.

- As a result of how dangerous changelings are, fairies and Anti-Fairies have a silent agreement that if there are any changelings causing trouble they must assist in stopping whatever trouble it's causing and ideally, take out the changeling for good.

- Fairies and Anti-Fairies were not always enemies, even after godparenting became a strong practice, fairies and anti-fairies were happily living in harmony in Fairy World, Anti-Fairies have existed from the beginning of fae kind, but being the opposite of their counterparts did not make them naturally evil, quite the opposite, fairies and their anti-fairies were often raised together, considering each other family, some even calling each other cousins, hating their counterparts or wanting them gone was not only seen as strange but foolish, a fairy and anti-fairies life is forever linked together if one dies the other will too.

- The anti-fairies job back then was dominion over all forms of luck, good and bad and how to dispute it to humanity individually, some even co-parented as godparents for children that needed a little extra luck, there was nothing in their magic that made it strictly negative especially in terms of luck related wishes.

 - The reason Anti-Fairies no longer live normally in Fairy World is because many centuries ago there were some fae that did not believe the Anti-Fairies belonged, that wanted them out, spreading rumors and making anti-fairies look bad to the public until the anti-fairies were banished after one of these fae framed the then leader of the Anti-Fairies for the murder of a fairy, the fae did this after striking a deal with a changeling in secret, when the fairy's blood is on their hands, not the Anti-Fairy, leaving the Anti-Fairies in what would become Anti-Fairy World where the Anti-Fairies were deep in poverty and struggling to keep their wand functioning nearly daily.

- History was completely rewritten and propaganda spread, making both fairies and Anti-Fairies believe Anti-Fairies being a fairies opposite meant they had to be evil and could never be anything that's not dictated by their fairy counterpart, most fairies aren't old enough to remember a time when the two weren't enemies, not even Jorgen knows the truth of the propaganda, the few that are still around still perpetuate and spread bad faith on the Anti-Fairies, some even framing the bad deeds done by changelings as Anti-Fairies doing evil.

- The true form of fairies is very large, glowing bodies usually with many eyes, large wings, as well as other attributes depending on the fairy, they hide their true forms as not to scare or traumatize human children even those who aren't godparents in case humans come to Fairy World for any reason, revealing their true form is considered a severe threat in fae society, not needing a wand for such power without their glamor put pure, raw, natural magic to use.

- The true form of Anti-Fairies on the other hand, is much smaller, barely larger than a fist, having a sort of  bat-squid appearance with a single eye with black skellera and sideways pupil, as well as a long tail with the shape of an upside-down heart at the very end, usually compared to a devils tail; unlike fairies, Anti-Fairies don't have glamor the same way their counterparts do, their true form is protected by the body one usually sees, their Husk, they can shapeshift it like fairies do with glamor and their bodies, but it's more limited for Anti-Fairies, they can't change the color, they are always blue which makes it very impossible for them to have a human disguise at least not one that can actually pass as human.

- It is extremely difficult to get the Anti-Fairy out of their Husk, the chest would need to be caved in to get the squishy body out, that sort of damage is not easy to do to a fae without excessive force, out of the Husk an Anti-Fairy is far more vulnerable, unlike their counterparts, far more susceptible and sensitive to getting hurt or even killed in the right circumstances, once the Anti-Fairy is put back in the Husk's chest the damage seals itself back up, as well as any damage of before the Anti-Fairy was put back into its Husk, this doesn't mean they have a flawless healing factor, their still capable of physical disabilities and issues.

- If a Husk is destroyed beyond repair, an Anti-Fairy can have a new one created but this takes a lot of magic, usually multiple Anti-Fairies and the new Husk is physically weaker, usually coming with chronic pain and weaker magical capabilities, some even losing the ability to fly, there are some Anti-Fairies that are unable to get a new Husk due to how much magic it takes and needs help due to how vulnerable their true form is.

- The reason godkids are not allowed remember their fairies or magic is due to an incident known as The Dark Hour, a grown godkid that took to the dark arts side of witchcraft, used the trust gained from fairies that knew him as a child and tricked dozens of fairies and took them away to use for potions, it took an hour to find and rescue the fae but many were already lost, to avoid it ever happening again godchildren had to forget when they grew up and their godparents were forbidden from seeing them again on the off chance it jogged their memories.

- Fae have a large weakness to iron, it burns their flesh worse than acid as well as harshly weakening their magic when near it, all fae are affected by iron and it's one of the few things that can kill them.

- Magical moss found in Fairy World aids fae in shapeshifting, it's usually eaten and used as a medicinal material for those having difficulty with glamor and shapeshifting, especially fed to baby fae to help them develop their glamor and shapeshifting magic.

-Fae of all kinds are naturally attracted to rather shiny objects; it's mostly subconscious and somewhat hypnotic; their instincts just tell them to hold onto the shiny object with rationale not registering in their minds.

- Godparents have an enchantment on them and their wands they cannot use magic not related to wish granting or caring for their godchild, this cap on their magic is to prevent rogue wishes and disorganization, the enchantment is removed if the fairy has a career change or currently without a assigned godchild.

- After the birth of Peri and the godparent shortage being more apparent, the ban on fairy babies was lifted, though new babies were given a lot of precautions and special training wands to avoid the same dangers Peri faced and posed due to his highly powerful and unstable magic.

[unconventional-lawnchair]

Random fic ideas

These are just random xreader ideas that I haven't started yet. If this interests anyone you can use the prompts/stories or just voice your opinions about them! Really just need them out of my head. (If you do use them pls tag me I'd love to read em 🥺)

Time travel scenarios:

- Lightning Era Reader goes back in time for a year, only to come back to a shattered timeline. Finding out that Barty Crouch Junior has broken everything to be with her again. (Hurtless by Dean Lewis)

-Marauders Era Muggleborn!reader goes back in time to Tom Riddles Era, where he finds out about her blood status. He tries to get a hold of this oddly powerful wix, only to find she's actively sabotaging his plans. (This isn't a Tom x reader fic, but it will center their relationship from rivals to friends, only for her to go forward in time once more and unleash a new wave of abandonment charged rage against the wizarding world) - (Hunter by Paris Paloma)

-Given the choice, Remus Lupin would go back in time and never involve himself with the Muggle!Reader he lost. Only in his plan to stray away his younger self, he meets her again. Truly to convince himself to walk away from the woman he loves all over again. (LOML by Taylor Swift)

-After James dies, the reader discovers a way to travel back in time to see him one last time, but she’s warned it can only be for one brief encounter. (You Said You'd Grow Old with Me by Michael Schultz)

Normal scenarios :

- Poly!Wolfstar x Reader fic, after the events of Halloween 1981 Sirius is jailed- Remus and the reader have a falling out that results in him leaving. 12 years later they are forced to reunite for Harry. (Clean - Taylor Swift)

- James Potter will stop at nothing to stop Fred Weasley from coming around his daughter. The only reason he can give; 'he reminds me of myself.' (Magic! By rude)

- Barty x Tattoo Artist!Reader who can't stay out of his lap (I wanna be your Slave by måneskin)

-Slytherin wins the Quidditch cup for once, but what everyone is really paying attention to is how Regulus Black of all people, ran to Potter!Reader before anyone else. (Alchemy by Taylor swift)

-During the peak of the wizarding war, the reader is a Muggle who inadvertently befriends Remus and the others- learns about the magical world. She becomes one of Remus's closest confidants and helps him through some of his darkest moments. But after the Potters are killed and Sirius is imprisoned, Remus obliviates her to keep her safe from everything he had told her. This leads to complications, where she believes she is having flashes of a 'past life,' when the spell begins to fade. (All Too Well by Taylor Swift)

-During the First Wizarding War, the reader and James are are separated as he’s rises the ranks of the order, getting more missions and having to keep more and more secrets from her. To cope with her fear, the reader writes him letters every night, pouring out her love and worries letters she never intends for him to read. (What a time by Julia Michaels)

-Loving James Potter was knowing he'd give you up to save the world. Loving Barty Crouch Jr. was knowing he'd end the world rather then lose you.

-Fred Weasley fic about a Slytherin reader who never entertained Fred's advances. After the war, George sends her a post with one of Fred's old ideas books. Fred kept filled with jokes, pranks, and ideas for future products he never got the chance to share. Each page is filled with his personality, and she can almost hear him laughing with her. The book signed "for her, always."

-Sirius and the reader have always clashed, unable to see eye-to-eye on anything. But when he accidentally ruins her notebook in a prank gone wrong, she storms out feeling humiliated and hurt. Sirius, surprisingly, follows her to apologize.

-James and the reader are fierce rivals in the dueling club, always challenging each other to duels that usually end in both bruised egos and bruised bodies. But one night, after a particularly intense duel, James notices the reader is hurt and insists on helping her. (Much to no one but the reader's surprise)

-As captains of rival Quidditch teams, James and the reader have always been fiercely competitive, constantly taunting each other and getting into shouting matches on the pitch. When she beats him in a close match, he becomes noticeably sour and can’t hide his jealousy when other players congratulate her. "Why do you like everyone but me?"

- Sirius doesn't know what he hates more, your attitude or you going to the winter formal with Evan Rosier and not him.

- James Potter has always been a thorn in your side, with his constant flirting and his annoying cocky attitude. But when he starts to flirt and playfully banter with Lily Potter you can't stand it, but James just loves your reaction

[imitationgame77]

ART and Human Adolescents

~ Reason Why ART Befriended Murderbot in AC ~

A sort of theory...

In Network Effect, Murderbot notes several times that ART likes adolescent humans. For instance,

I'd noted that ART's tone when it spoke to Amena was completely different than it was to the other humans. [...] Whatever else ART was, the classroom space and bunk-rooms said it was actually, on a regular basis, a teaching vessel. And before this when I was stupid and we were still friends it had talked about human adolescents in an indulgent way.

[Network Effect, Chapter 9]

Murderbot uses ART's soft spot for adolescents to its advantage!

And then, a couple of chapters later,

Amena still had questions. "Then why did you do it? You didn't - you don't care about me. You didn't really even know me then."

Why does ART like adolescent humans? This was exhausting.

[...]

ART must be recovering because it had to butt in with, Tell her you care about her. Use those words, don't tell her you'll eviscerate anything that tries to hurt her.

[Network Effect, Chapter 10]

ART does show protectiveness towards Amena's feelings, and urges MB to do the same.

ART also shows indulgence towards young people, who probably have left adolescent recently. In Artificial Condition, Murderbot's young client Tapan gets herself into a dangerous situation (again), then in a relatively safe environment of a hotel accommodation, inadvertently upsets MB with personal questions. ART helps MB calm down by playing its comfort media's soundtrack, then

In my feed, ART turned down the soundtrack to say, Young humans can be impulsive. The trick is keeping them around long enough to become old humans. This is what my crew tells me and my own observations seem to confirm it.

[Artificial Condition, Chapter 7]

An American psychoanalyst Erik Erikson has developed a theory of personality development which consists of 8 stages from infancy to old age. Each stage has a central theme with basic conflict. Successful resolution of conflicts at each stage results in development of healthy personality and acquisition of virtues.

Adolescence (12-18 years) is defined by its conflict of Identity vs. Role Confusion. Adolescents search for a sense of self and personal identity, through exploring values, goals, interests, and so on. If they are not given enough support and/or restricted in their exploration, they are left with role confusion - struggle to identify their purpose in life, not knowing who they are and what they want. Social relationships are also important in finding their roles in society. Successful resolution of this stage will lead to the virtue of fidelity that involves being able to commit one's self to others on the basis of accepting others even with differences.

The next stage is Early Adulthood (19-29 years), whose basic conflict is Intimacy vs. Isolation. This is when people learn to establish intimacy and relationships with others. If an individual can successfully form intimate, reciprocal relationships with others, love is the virtue to be gained. But, unsuccessful resolution in earlier stages can cause failure in this stage, resulting in isolation. Isolation can be the result of unresolved identity crises, fear of rejection, etc.

This stage thoery was developed in the 1950s. Since then, societies have changed somewhat and many young people can afford to be in "not a child, but not quite grown-up yet" stage for longer.

Presumably, machine intelligences, however sophisticated like ART, do not need to be influenced by physiological changes associated with hormones. Humans are largely influenced by nature part of nature/nurture, but for AIs, nurture (experience) is a lot more significant in forming their personalities. Having been "brought up" in loving human family environment with Iris as its "sibling", ART has developed very good understandings of human development as well as enormous tolerance. Having been interacting with many, many university students (presumably still 18-22 ish), it knows how important adolescent is to their later development in their characters.

One of the fundamental reasons why ART immediately took to Murderbot, in my view, is that it recognised adolescence in it. Whatever its human-equivalent chronological age was when they met, MB had only been governor-module-free for 4 years or so, and its experience of interacting with real people autonomously was very limited. MB was smart and competent in its functions, but also extremely vulnerable and awkward. It fits the definition of adolescence of not knowing its new role (not an appliance anymore)in the world.

So, ART's initial interaction with MB and protectiveness it exhibited were largely because ART was basically kind to vulnerable young people and MB was one. (Their 'relationship' evolves rapidly, but it is getting too long, so I stop. For now.)

----

Addendum

ART was not exactly gentle to Three which had had less-than-1-cycle of experience at being autonomous. It was more like a colt than a human adolescent. Must have been stress and anxiety talking.

Does an advanced AI have an equivalent of adolescence?? (probably mild, being hormone-free)

[cat-mentality]

More of my favorite silly qsmp headcanons that have zero evidence in canon

The Spanish version:

Willy has creeper dna and he can communicate with them

He however has literally declared the whole species his mortal enemies, and the feeling is mutual

For some reason turtles really like Willy, Tallulah's turtles once staged a break just to hang out in his base (Philza was not pleased)

Vegetta and Rubius fought once and Rubius cursed him to be a werewolf, it was supposed to be temporary but Rubius legitimately forgot about it and Vegetta kinda of likes it now

Vegetta as a result will sometimes howl at the moon and he is like, weirdly, into smells, especially Foolish's for some reason

No one really questions it even if Maximus is the only one who knows he is a werewolf

Maximus is one of the only humans in the Island so he just takes the weirdness on strike, nothing fazes him

Maximus doesn't won a single matching pair of socks and its on purpose

He also owns more sunglasses than he does furniture

Roier is a spider hybrid and he can climb walls like one, he uses that power to scare the living shit out of people

He doesn't do it to Rivers anymore because one time her first response was to set him on fire and then yell at him while he was burning

One time he also took her makeup without asking and she chased him around with a ax

Mariana recorded the whole thing

As a payback Roier stole his glasses and Mariana had to walk around the Island seeing jack shit, he ended up groping so many people by mistake that he legitimately buried himself into the sand until Luzu made him some new glasses

Arin will sometimes hang out inside of people's machines just for fun (He is the one that taught Pierre's machines to swear)

Arin and the codes are enemies with benefits (Luzu refuses to acknowledge this)

Pol pulls out the "old man" card literally every time something mildly inconveniences him or when he wants someone to do something for him

Roier and Quackity always end up getting falling for it

One time Willy and Vegetta blew up a part of his studio and he dead ass pulled their ears and made them redo the whole thing

No one has gathered the courage to ask Pol what he is, but let's just say that when he says old, he means old

He and Abueloier are childhood friends

The reason Missa takes so long to come back every time he leaves is because he has the worst sense of direction ever, he has inadvertently managed to map out the whole Island when he just wanted to find a river.

The mobs just kinda stopped attacking him at some point because it genuinely made them feel bad, they will try when he is with someone else and some token attempts from time to time but mostly they just ignore him

Quackity will say the most absurd things about the Island with a very straight face and he always end up tricking at least one poor soul in believing his bullshit

Quackity can speak to ducks and they have very long and deep philosophical conversations about the meaning of life and the mysteries of the universe

Luzu one time found him while he and the ducks are discussing the dangers of capitalism and he just backed away very slowly

German got lost trying to walk around the Island and he still haven't found his way back, on a good note he has been adopted by the slimes because they like his shirt

Rivers can talk to chickens and they obey her orders, Mariana was once chased down by an army of chickens and he still doesn't know how that happened

Luzu can literally sleep anywhere, he once feels asleep in a bush of thorns

Roier however can only fall asleep in the best sheets with the most luxurious mattress, but he sleeps like the dead, Quackity likes to play a game called "how many random objects can i stack in Roier before he wakes up"

Roier still doesn't know who does that

Missa doesn't know that he can be really fucking scary when he approaches someone in the darkness and he has hurt his feelings many times when people screamed when he wanted to say "hi"

[156l]

sample concept redraws of Ancient Dragons Ice / Fire / Shadow, + Shade-afflicted versions... + Lore Rewrite

HUGE WRITEUP what I would fix overall lore / storywise / physical traits under the cut

I might also post this in Creative corner for my own lulz, but yeah. I just needed this out of my system lmao. I don't think I will do the other breeds but here's a sample gist of it

Bigg TL;DR : Too much potential wasted

FR places huge emphasis on how the Shade was a huge force to be reckoned with. At the end of the Third Age, the Shade had broken the barrier and clearly destroyed "their best ward", before leaving.

In the Gaoler story, there is a huge emphasis on being "Shade-touched", and the Gaolers make it a serious duty of imprisoning Horrorbeasts, which are massive Shade creatures. There is massive potential of what these beasts could be and from just smelling it, anything from just a drop of Shade to full corruption is taken seriously.

Think of Code Corrupter from Halo : they are to be eradicated as swiftly as possible because they are just that strong.

Bounty Of The Elements Core Rewrite :

What I'm saying is, Bounty of the Elements could be the events of the Lightning Flight screwing a massive leyline that runs through Sornieth, causing a HUGE shockwave that causes the other stories to happen.

This could inadvertently reawaken many elemental energies and lines, but also cause Shade fragments to awaken, and also revive Ancients that have been extinct for a long long time. Some are properly reawakened and normal, but most of them have already fallen prey to the Shade of a war long long ago...and become monstrosities...thus what we have in the Fortress of Ends!

The result, the uncorrupted / still sane Ancients try to find their way to get help / help the poor Modern dragons and Beastclans that are confused by all these Horrorbeasts. The Ancients,Moderns and Beastclans can then share their knowledge to try at the very least contain the Shade's influence.

[ GAOLER ]--------------------------------///

To me, the Gaoler are almost perfect lore and designwise. The only things I would change would just be the stubby wings and fully convert them to muscular arms that are for beating down enemies. They are jailers and they would need a TON of power to muscle rampaging Beasts.

This makes them formidable warriors, but should any ever be corrupted, they are hell to deal with.

[ BANESCALE ]--------------------------------///

Chicken was the literal first thought to mind and that thing hurt to look at. The banescale are mentioned to be huge fans of crafting and armour and this is a huge massive point -- they could have been capable of things that bested the Shade's attacks.

I would make their design to be more stocky akin to a typical Wyvern and have more armour plates all over. They are bulky at the top, but their wings would be leather as the Flamecaller. The armour they make would augment their already ridiculously buff scales and massive spike tail.

The Banescale would have been revived underground by the elemental energies, and would have carried on creating everything, as if time was just frozen from them. Only in the events of Temper, Temper do they realise that they can get out and realise the world has changed drastically, and on learning the situation, work with the Fire Flight's denizens to create fantastic armour with modern materials.

[ Veilspun ]-----------------------------------///

Just bug on the wings??? Come on man. A portal is a powerful device and there would have a been a reason they were locked away. The energies would have awakened them, and there could be a elemental reason; Shadow flight is ironically more susceptible to Shade influence than the rest of the other flights, bar maybe Plague.

The Shadowbinder is a huge huge trickster and the flight reflects that, but even more to the design of everything. Nocturnes are a, personally, imitation game gone wrong. But they have something right and it's them mimicing behaviours when needed.

The Veilspuns could have been utter masters of deceit right down to the design, based off a Leaf Insect and legs of a chameleon. Since they are tiny, they can be in the THOUSANDS, and this force would even make a Shade touched go down for the count. The massive drawback would be that the Shade easily "infects" them by the numbers, leading to whole wars between infected and normal Veils under the darkness of night.

They can teach other dragons the art of stealth, even when they are massive creatures, but requires a lot of magic, and the massive energies would be a huge help...