#in which i ms paint myself too close to the sun

[incognito-insomniac]

Tagged by @captastra and @the-lastcall for this absolutely adorable picrew.

I call this series "lets kiss all my elven OCs on the mouth" because that's just what happened. (Avalyn I will get your half-elf butt kissed once we know who the hell you're romancing)

Left: Skordo and Vadevynia (ESO) Right: Stenvar and Anla (Skyrim) Bottom: Liam and Erim (DA:I)

Tagging @bryndeavour, @funkypoacher, @strangefable, @galaxycunt, @kyber-infinitygems, @twosides--samecoin , @confidentandgood, @socially-awkward-skeleton, @csphire and anyone else who wants to kiss their OC on the mouth.

[lubdubsworld]

物の哀れ ( ‘the sadness of things’.)

Alpha Jungkook x Omega Oc!

Genre : Angst , Hurt/ Comfort.

    Chapter 1  ⋆  Chapter 2  ⋆  Chapter 3     Chapter 4  ⋆  Chapter 5   ⋆   

    Chapter 6   Chapter 7     Chapter 8

Summary : Nine months after her marriage ends, Kim Heejin is a reclusive artist, who works out of a renovated warehouse in Busan, her days and nights spent with canvas and paint. Its exactly what she’s ever wanted, to be left alone. And yet, that nagging feeling of incompletion keeps her on her toes. And perhaps, it is that longing for something substantial, something real that pushes her to give her flawed but lovable ex-husband another chance.

Chapter 9

 “I… No. Just… please tell him I’ll be down…I’ll come down to the lobby to meet him.” I said quickly, panicking at the idea of having him here. I’d barely been here a day but this was still my space. And if I had him here then his scent would just seep into every nook and corner. 

The room would smell like him then… And what would I do after he left?

God, what was I even thinking? Head swimming, I crawled to the edge of the bed and breathed shakily. 

It felt surreal, climbing out of the bed and moving to the vanity . I stared at myself in the mirror as I grabbed the makeup bag I kept with me all the time. Wide eyes and parted lips, creamy gold skin turning lily white because of how the blood had just drained after that phone call. 

I looked petrified .

Jungkook… I thought numbly. Jungkook’s waiting downstairs and I’m going to see him. 

What is he thinking.... What is he feeling... why is he even here? 

You’re not responsible for his emotions, Taehyung’s soothing voice in my head helped a bit but not a whole lot. What about my emotions, I though desperately, grabbing the tube of gloss and slowly uncapping it. I ran the end of it over my lips and felt my fingers tremble because I didn’t know why I felt this need …to look beautiful.

I didn’t need to, I though miserably. Everyone knew omegas were beautiful. Beta supermodels were beautiful yes but they couldn’t hold a candle to me, at least for someone like  Jungkook. He was an alpha, his brain was built to find me attractive. I had evolutionary genetics on my side, which mean that if I ever actually wanted to seduce Jungkook , he wouldn’t really stand a chance .

But I didn’t want that.

I had had enough of that. Enough of seeing handsome, rich alphas being reluctantly attracted to me. They made it obvious too. Most of the hate mail I got stemmed from angry wives or girlfriends accusing me of seducing their men , even though  I’d never so much as laid my eyes on them. It was so unfair. 

I didn’t enjoy watching them lose their minds at the sight and scent of me, because i knew that deep down,  they thought that all omegas were scum. 

Manipulative, sex driven , greedy and selfish . Those were the labels I got plastered with , on the media and on the streets. 

And Jungkook wasn’t different, I reminded myself firmly, pulling away from the mirror and grabbing the loose powder and dusting down some of it on the apple of my cheeks and down the length of my nose. 

He didn’t think any different than the others. Jungkook’s views on omegas were just as archaic and bigoted as everyone else’s .

He just didn’t act on them .

Sighing, I dropped the lipgloss back in the back and brushed my hair off my face. On a whim , I pulled off the hair tie holding the thick strands together, letting the wavy tresses fall over my shoulder. I hadn’t cut my hair in a long time and it felt to my hips now. My stylist was adamant that it added to my aesthetic.

  A primal siren, she had said staring at me in awe, like something eternal and beautifully dangerous. We’re lucky you seem incapable of hate, Heejin ...because I think you could bring grown men to their knees with that body and that face. 

I felt nauseous at the thought of it.   

Walking to the elevator felt like walking the plank and I had stop a couple of times, just to breathe deeply. I had to be smart about this. I was in therapy. Taehyung had taught me how to handle situations like this and while my heart was pounding too hard and my brain was too scrambled to use any of his therapy techniques, I still had some of my cognitive abilities intact. 

He came here, i thought desperately. 

He came looking for you and that means he isn’t nervous or worried or overthinking this because he doesn’t have feelings for you. If you want to come out of this  unscathed, you need to get your head on straight. You need to pretend that you didn’t just have a minor mental breakdown at the thought of him dating someone else. 

I took a deep breath, exhaling sharply before stepping into the elevator. The ride down to the lobby was barely a few seconds and when I stepped out, I realized the place was way too crowded for such an exclusive Hotel. And then I remembered that people were here for the Art Festival. I glanced at the reception desk, covertly, noting a conspicuous lack of Jeon Jungkook. The lady behind the desk held her hand up when she spotted me .

“Ms. Kim? Mr. Jeon just went to get you a drink...He’s over by the breakfast counter over there.” She pointed out the dining space where people were walking about getting breakfast and I swallowed, feeling hot and cold as I cautiously stepped into the crowd, trying to find a that familiar head of thick dark hair. 

I felt the apprehension build as I tugged on my bottom lip between my teeth, trying to reign in the chaos in my mind but it was impossible, everything too loud and too messy. I looked around and then, it hit me. 

His scent. 

I felt my lips part in surprise, and it felt like someone had turned the volume down , noises fading into a dull hum at the back of my mind as I stared at him. He hadn’t spotted me yet and I took a second to just....look.

He looked incredible.

There was really no other word for it. Incredibly handsome, Incredibly beautiful and so incredibly perfect as the late morning sun lit up the room, picking out the shine on his white silk shirt. I breathed in deep, my mindeasily picking out the musky pine scent of him and I stepped closer, moving straight towards him and I caught the exact moment my scent his senses.

He jerked a bit, nostrils flaring and eyes going wide before he turned, lips parted and gaze a bit unfocused as he looked around.

When he caught sight of me, he just blinked. 

I smiled weakly, body going limp with relief because.... because this was Jungkook. Not some monster I had to run from. This was Jungkook....even at his worst he had been better than some of the other people I’d met in life. 

I looked down at the drink in his hand and smiled a bit as he made his way over. 

“ This isn’t the same as buying me a coffee.” I said shakily as he finally stepped upto me.

His eyes danced with warmth. 

“What makes you think I can afford one? Besides, aren’t you the hotshot artist? Shouldn’t you be the one buying me stuff?” He said softly. 

“Just saw you on the front cover of a magazine. We both know you’re far from destitute..” Even through the smile, I felt the tug of emotion as I stared at him, felt the difference in him like night and day, the light and joy and ...contentment that seemed to radiate off him .

He smiled and held the drink out to me gently.

“ Heejin-ah.” He whispered. 

And somehow it was the sound of his voice, wrapping around the syllables of my name that finally did it. 

I felt the tears brim over, my lips parting in choked laughter as I stepped close and wrapped both my arms around him, burying my face in his neck and breathing him in. I felt him hold me, infinitely gentle and I exhaled sharply.

“I didn’t miss you,  at all.” I said shakily. He laughed lightly. 

“I missed you , too.” He stroked the back of my head gently and I sighed, fingers curling on the silk of his shirt. The fabric felt like liquid in my fingers and I played with it for a second, intensely aware that people were starting to stare. That this embrace had gone on for longer than social norms dictated but I couldn’t bring myself to care, letting my chin rest against his shoulder blades. 

And it was almost frightening.....how easy it was to pretend we weren’t broken at all. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“She was so small when I last held her... I can’t believe she’s running around.” I said, awed, listening to Jungkook tell me about how Mina liked to climb everywhere. He laughed, shaking his head. 

"She’s growing bigger everyday. I can barely keep up.” Jungkook smiled, holding a hand out for me to step over the wooden slats that lined the tiny archway that led to the door to his building. I hesitated before lightly gripping his hand in mine, the gesture somehow feeling more intimate that it was. 

“You’re not staying at the Firenze?” I asked curiously, resisting the urge to reach for his hand again when he let go.

it was such a ridiculous thing but I’d never held hands with him. And It felt ridiculously nice, to slot my fingers with his, feel them in between mine. His palm against mine, calloused but somehow so comforting. 

 I’d forgotten how warm he was.

 Don’t. Don’t fall down this rabbit hole again, Heejin. We talked about this. He doesn’t think of you that way. He doesn’t. And neither should you. its unfair to him. He doesn’t deserve that. 

“No... As you can see my apartment is barely ten minutes away and Soeun has her exams so its easier for her to watch over Mina here at the apartment.

“Soeun?” I asked curiously.

“Park Soeun? She’s a University student who lives with me. She’s doing a correspondence course in fashion . So she’s home all the time and she helps out with Mina. And she speaks Italian so that’s a huge plus... ” He smiled. “ you’ll like her. She’s a good kid.” 

 Don’t make that face. Don’t fucking make that face, Heejin.

I struggled to keep my face straight , like I wasn’t feeling the weight of a dozen bricks at the base of my stomach. 

“A roommate...then..?” I asked quietly and he shrugged.

“Something like that. But mostly she helps take care of Mina when I’m out on an assignment.” He smiled and led me past two flight of stairs up to the studio apartment. 

I wrapped my arms around myself as he stopped in front of a wrought iron grill, gripping one end and sliding it open with ease. And then he rang the small bell n the side. I shuffled back and forth on my foot, heart racing. 

The door opened and I blinked because of how young the girl who opened the door was. A second later she was beaming, moving forward and wrapping both her arms around me.

“Unnie!” She squealed, hugging me so close that I almost choked. Completely thrown I could only gape at Jungkook who was laughing . 

“Oh, I forgot to mention..she’s a bit of a fan. “ He teased lightly and I smiled awkwardly, watching as she pulled back to stare at me, her gaze trained on my face unblinkingly. 

“Whoa...” She reached out and lightly touched my cheek with her forefinger making me jump. She flinched as well, flushing red.

“Shit..sorry...I just... I’ve never... I’ve never met an omega before.” She said softly. “ You’re absolutely breathtaking.”

I felt my heart pound, steeping back instinctively, an overwhelming urge to hide , anxiety pooling in my stomach as she continued to stare at me. I hated the attention and I wrapped my arms around myself. 

“Soeun, enough. Don’t make it weird.” Jungkook said sternly, voice hard and the girl immediately flushed, bowing apologetically. 

“Sorry...I.. sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable ... You’re pretty.” She said again before turning to Jungkook.

“I have to get some stuff for my exhibit, Jungkook oppa... Mina’s asleep. i’ll be staying over at Vince’s place for the night though. Is that okay?”

“Sure..have fun.” Jungkook smiled, “ Vince is her boyfriend.” He explained and Soeun nodded happily. 

“Italian men are absolutely amazing unnie...you should try some.” She winked and I laughed despite myself.

“I just might...” I said with a grin, watching as she walked over to slip on a pair of sneakers from the small shoe closet near the door. She waved enthusiastically all but bouncing away and I blinked at him , shaking my head.

“I feel a hundred years old right now.” I said softly, still stunned by the girl’s exorbitant energy. Jungkook laughed at that

“She definitely has that effect on people... Come on, I’ll show you around.” He held his hand out and I smiled , taking his fingers mine and letting him tug me further into the studio apartment. 

I looked around, taking in the full blown prints of Mina and Jungkook , caught in adorable poses in front of different tourist spots in Florence. I saw how much she looked like Jungkook now, and how openly affectionate they looked together, the love evident even in the still photos. 

And then my eyes fell on a familiar painting , my stomach lurching. 

“You... “ i turned to him in a rush and he was staring at me with a small smile.

“I had to bring that. It pretty much saved me, that painting.” He said casually, stepping close and running his fingers all over the print. 

“When you told me this is how Sooah saw me...” He traced the picture carefully before glancing at me,” it made me realize that Sooah didn’t just want a baby.....she wanted a baby with  me. She saw me as a father. As someone who could raise and nurture a tiny human  and that... that’s amazing isn’t it?” He sighed, staring at me.  

He looked beautiful, I thought with an ache deep inside me. The most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my life and it seemed almost too good to be true. That he was here, at reach. So close. I wondered if this was it. This had to be a sign. A sign that we’d come full circle. That it was over. That we could finally break free from all that we’d been through, and look back at Jungkook’s past with fondness instead of pain.

And perhaps, just perhaps I could reach out and touch him with something more than just the love you have for a friend. . Perhaps I could reach out and touch him, without feeling guilt and foreboding.

I exhaled shakily stepping up and running my fingers over the canvas. It was nothing fancy... Just a painting a painting of Jungkook holding Mina up by her waist, high over his head, staring up into her face with all the love and adoration in the world, The child in the painting doesn’t look exactly like Mina, of course, but I’d had no idea , seeing as Sooah had commissioned the painting when she was pregnant. But Jungkook.... Jungkook looked exactly like he did now : Happy and at peace. 

“You’re alright, then?” I asked quietly , a wealth of meaning behind the words and he smiled , nodding gently. 

“I’m fine…” He whispered , “ And I’m so glad I can tell you that, like this. Thank you for coming , Heejin-ah . I know you owe me nothing but.. I wanted to show you that… it wasn’t all bad you know. What we went through… Something good did come out of it.” He whispered.

I choked out a sob.

“I lied.” I whispered. “ I did miss you. Even when I knew I shouldn’t.”

Jungkook’s gaze softened.

“I have a lot to be sorry for. But I don’t want to remind you of those things. I just want you to know that… I understand what you went through…those six months. I understand that it was difficult and painful and i… I’m grateful that you didn’t give up on me. And I’m grateful that you stayed in my life.  Because I know I didn’t deserve that.”

“You deserve to be loved Jungkook.” I said quietly. “ Its not wrong to move on. You deserve to… find happiness again.”

He stared at me, his gaze soft and gentle.

“I can almost believe it, when you say it that way.” He laughed. “ And… you know… I’m not sure if its love. But there’s someone I’ve been…. Well, I can sort of see myself with her. .” He grinned a little, smile boyish as he ran his fingers through his hair. He glanced at me and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Wait… was he going to?....

“ I met her at Taehyung’s practice, a year ago. Her name is Lee Hyorin.” Jungkook looked at me, doe eyes shining with excitement.

And just like that the world ended.

Or so it felt.

It was like being dipped in icy cold water, the shock of it rendering me speechless, lips parted and breath catching in lungs.

Blood rushed through my ears, so fast that I felt lightheaded, my legs nearly giving out. White noise filled my skull, pain lancing sharp through my heart like a thousand paper cuts, and I couldn’t really breathe. It took a few seconds…. For my heart to catch up with what my mind had just processed. And when it finally did, the pain was so excruciating, I had to clench my fists, nails digging into the flesh of my palm to ground myself.

“She’s an alpha…and she lost her husband around the same time Sooah passed..” Jungkook gave me a soft smile. “ She’s actually a curator at one of the museums here. She’s the one who made all the arrangements for me to move here to Florence. ”

“Wow… That’s…” devastating,. “ That’s good news. Jungkook.. I.. How long…” My voice cracked, and I had to swallow. “ How long have you guys been dating?”

“About three months now. We’re taking it very slow, because we aren’t really ready. She has a son too. He’s three years old. Mina loves him so that’s a plus.” He laughed.

My lungs constricted, breathing difficult and my head swam because ….. what. Realization set in so quickly, I was left reeling. I was in love with this bastard, I thought miserably. So in love with him that it felt like he was shredding my heart into ribbons. Every word of his mouth felt like a sharp deep stab, straight through the center of my heart and the pulsing, beating organ was on the verge of giving out.

“She’s going to be there at the dinner tonight at the Festival. She’s one of the organizers by the way. She’s kind of the reason I got in, I think.” He laughed , looking abashed and what a load of bull that was. Jungkook was successful and well known. Superbly talented at his chosen field. She was lucky to have him.

How can she have him when I’m the one who fixed him? How is that fucking fair?

“She really understands the things I’ve been going through, the past few months and because we both still attend therapy with Taehyung, we’re able to talk about a lot of stuff. Stuff I can’t share with others…” Jungkook was saying and I tuned him out, not wanting to hear another word.

I swallowed, choking on bile. I could feel sweat gathering on my scalp, my skin clammy and damp , the air between us shifting into something poisonous and filled with so much dismay, it was a miracle he hadn’t picked up on it.

Couldn’t he sense how distressed I was? Couldn’t he see how his words were hurting? Couldn’t he fucking see that I couldn’t live without him? Why on earth couldn’t he see me the way he apparently saw every other woman on the damn planet…..

Because he’s a shitty Alpha, I thought miserably, willing myself not to burst into tears. He was a shitty excuse for an alpha back then and he’s the same now.

A low, distressed cry began somewhere behind him and he jumped.

“Oh, shit she’s up… come on, Heejin.” He said with a bright smile, turning around and rushing down a small hallway and I willed myself to breathe in deeply, reminding myself that this wasn’t the end of the world. I could get through this. Besides, it was Mina.

Beautiful, perfect Mina who had been there for me. She would see me and she would give me that sweet gummy smile of hers, does eyes twinkling and I would get through this. Because her smile was what was important. Her smile and her joy and her happiness.

The sobbing had slowed down to small hiccups and I stepped past the threshold cautiously, watching as Jungkook bent over the large crib, carefully lifting her out and into his arms. She looked breathtaking, an absolutely gorgeous little girl . I stared, mesmerized as I stepped closer. My arms ached, and my chest tightened. Lips wobbling, I exhaled sharply, moving to reach for her.

She turned to glance at me and just as my fingers brushed her cheek, she recoiled.

Hard.

A loud wail tore through her tiny body and I felt my eyes go wide. Her casual little cry had turned into a sobbing , loud wail and I could smell the distress in her , the fear and distrust as she curled away from me.  Jungkook looked stunned as well, instinctively drawing her close and embracing her, moving away from me because….

Because I was the reason, she was distressed.  

My skin went ice cold at the revelation and I stumbled back, stunned.

“I… I’m sorry.” I choked out, confused and disoriented. Jungkook looked stricken, gently rocking her back and forth and she clung to him, gripping his shirt and I bit my lips, moving further back and I glanced at him, my heart shattering.

“She’s …She’s still sleepy… She doesn’t do well with strangers…” He said softly, looking upset, “ Maybe you could…wait outside…”

Stranger…. Was that what I was?

“I… I’ll go. I’ll just go.” I turned on my heel, rushing out of the door and struggling to breathe in air, my heart clenching so hard I was sure I was going to pass out. I felt my knees give out when I reached the couch, dropping down and drawing my knees up , wrapping my arms around my legs . I didn’t know how long I sat there, fighting sobs and choking on air…and when I finally came to myself, the sobs from the room had died out.

“She’s fallen asleep again.” Jungkook’s voice cut through the silence and I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I felt him move closer, felt his scent hit me as he stepped right up to me, kneeling on the floor in front of me.

I looked up at him, lips wobbling as I took in his handsome face.  A face that was so deeply carved into my heart and my soul, I couldn’t imagine living without it. Without him. The tears came then, helpless and endless and so painful.

He pressed in closer, cupping my face in his palms, thumb brushing the tears that spilled over so relentlessly.

“Heejin…” He whispered and I let my fingers curl around his wrist as his thumb kept brushing the curve of my cheeks. I took a deep , shaky breath .

“She doesn’t remember me….  “ I whispered, “ She doesn’t recognize me at all…She hates me……” I choked out , despair filling every last crevice of my insides, gut twisting as I remembered how Mina had twisted away from me, how her scent had soured in distress at the sight of me, at the touch of my fingers.

 And I wondered if it was different with this other woman..Hyorin, wasn’t it? Did Mina climb into her arms with ease? Did she curl into her chest and sleep? The way she used to with me,  when she was a month old and missing the warmth of a mother.. ….

All those nights spent in that tiny nursery, lying on the cold unforgiving floor, watching the rise and fall of Mina’s chest through the dark room…telling myself it was worth it… it was worth being touched against my will, worth being treated like filth by a man driven mad with grief and anger….all because of this baby…this tiny little baby who had needed me….

And now…she didn’t even know who I was…..worse…she was repulsed by the very sight of me… I couldn’t cope.

“Look at me…” Jungkook rasped, voice raw and cracking. “she doesn’t hate you, Heejin… she just … you feel new to her… different…” 

I shook my head, unable to think about anything beyond the sheer devastation that filled me, the way his daughter had pulled away and run, had refused to come anywhere near me. I realized with lancing pain that I’d wanted to see her, way more than I’d wanted to see Jungkook .

Because she was the reason I’d hung on for so long in that marriage which had been the biggest fucking mistake of my life…. the only reason I’d stuck around . Mina …Having her in my arms, her scent against my face, that had been the only genuine happiness I’d experienced  in a marriage filled with sheer , unending misery. 

“I… she… Why doesn’t she remember? “ I breathed, sagging into his arms, tears soaking his shoulders and his palm ran up and down my back.

“Because she was a baby. Heejin…. I left when she was a baby…”

“Why did you?” I snapped. “ Did it hurt you so much? The thought of living under the same sky as me ? Why you did you go?” I demanded.

Jungkook pulled back, hands coming up to grip my shoulder, holding me at arms length.

“Look at me.” He whispered. “ I had to … You know I had to go….I was hurting you. I was… I was draining you of life. Destroying you… “

Jungkook’s words reminded me of who he was. Of who I was… Of who I was to him.

I choked out, sobbing.

“I hate you. You treated me like scum. Like a crutch….. Like some sort of tool to get better and you just left… you…”

You found someone better. You broke me down and now you’ve gone and found someone better….because I was never good enough for you… I was never someone you could love….

“I had to let you go. I had to end that relationship because it was tainted with so much grief and anger and selfishness and greed. I knew that anything I did afterwards would be tainted by my actions… I… I had to make amends, Heejin. And do you think for a second, that it wasn’t the hardest thing I ever did? That walking out on you wasn’t one of the most devastating things I’ve ever experienced? But I did it for us… for this…” 

I stared at him.

“And what is this?” I asked brokenly.

“This is me, being able to touch you like this.” Jungkook pressed a palm to my cheek, “ And not feeling guilt or sadness or grief or loss.  I did it so we could have this…this… This thing where I can look at you and hold you and see that you’re healing. That you’re doing better… That you’re living the life you want…. That you’re happy. This is me standing here , in front of you and smiling because I’m happy too. Happy that you’re here.  ” He exhaled, “ I’m happy that despite all the hurt we’ve been through for and because of each other, I can look at you now and tell you, honestly, that I’m glad to see you.” 

What a joke.. What a fucking joke.

I smiled shakily.

“Well… “ I said softly, my stomach churning because I was done. Done with him and mostly with myself. “ Isn’t that absolutely wonderful.”

His gaze softened and he smiled.

“I want us to be friends, Heejinah. Even though we don’t see or talk to each other, I think of you often. And when Mina’s old enough to understand , I’ll tell her all about you… I want you in our lives. You’re a friend. ”

I stared at him , feeling the words echo in my skull . It left an acrid taste on my senses, the way he put me into this neat little box, friend. So ….insignificant. Everyone had hundreds of friends. There was nothing even remotely special about being someone’s friend.

Friend just meant replaceable and forgettable. And just like Mina didn’t remember me…. Someday Jungkook wouldn’t either. The knowledge filled my veins spreading all over my body and leaving a fierce, heavy ache in my chest.

It was my fault, I thought despondently. My fault because I had been an idiot.

Jungkook was the sane one here , I thought miserably. These nine months, while I’d been dwelling on him and worrying for him…he had done the healthy thing , by moving on with someone he could actually envision a future with….

What had I done, these past nine months? Dreamt up a fantasy world where somehow we found our way back to each other and built a life together… It seemed so foolish now, in the light of Jungkook’s words and his confession….

Jungkook had done all of this, not for me…but for himself. For his daughter whom he loved and for his wife , whose memory he wanted to honor. And perhaps it was my own delusion that made me think that I’d played some stellar role in his healing…. Maybe if I hadn’t been there, he would have gotten better just the same…. Maybe I hadn’t been a tool …as much as a hindrance …to his healing.

I shook my head, bitterness coating my tongue.

“I should get going.” I whispered , voice shaking.

This is it, I told myself. This is the last time you look at him with that heaviness in your heart. You deserve better. You deserve… a lot of things. And just because people don’t give it to you doesn’t mean you have to settle for less……

“So soon? Hyorin will be back in a couple of hours… I could show you some of my work, and we could get lunch ….”

I shook my head quickly. I didn’t want to meet her in his home. Didn’t want to see him being domestic and affectionate and …normal with her when all I’d ever seen was Jungkook in his anger and grief, either yelling abuses or gripping me with a lust that was tainted with violence and rage. I stared at his hands, the ones I’d liked holding….

How did I forget? That those were the same hands that had held me down and done things that should, rightfully have landed him in prison?

I shook my head, to clear the images out of my head. Looking at him now,  Jungkook looked eager, happy and healed. And I realized that he’d just pushed all of his own actions out of his mind. Forgotten all about it. And that was fair. He probably didn’t even remember any of it. He had been drunk out of his mind, lost in his head and surely, forgetting must’ve been easy… A relief.

I didn’t begrudge him that.

But…

I hadn’t been drunk. I’d been stone cold sober under him on that bed and so, maybe forgetting didn’t come that easily for me. And I was glad that Jungkook could move on and be happy but….

But I couldn’t stay here and pretend that it was the same for me. I wasn’t happy or healed, I thought miserably. And maybe , maybe the sight of him moving on was a sign that I had to stop thinking that healing meant going back to him and his daughter.

“Heejin… What’s wrong? Is it because of Mina.. she’s just not used to…” He began but I quickly pressed a palm to his chest, smiling.

“Strangers.” I said softly. “ I know. That’s not it… You know I have to introduce my exhibit at dinner tonight. I don’t know what the itinerary is or what I’m supposed to say…. None of it.. I need to meet my agent and prep myself a bit. Its alright…I’ll see you tonight.” I said softly.

“I’m sorry… I can’t walk you back because Mina-“

“Of course. Don’t worry about it…. I’ll just…”

The doorbell rang, startling me.

“Jungkook!” A strong voice called out and I went still.

“Hyorin?” Jungkook’s face lit up and I felt my stomach churn. God, the universe really was against me wasn’t it? Sighing in defeat, I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting back down on the couch and waiting.

Behind me , I could hear hushed whispers, soft laughter and shuffling feet. My mouth went dry.

“Ms. Kim….”

I turned around, greeted by the sight of a tall, strapping young woman, pretty by any standards. She was dressed in a pant suit , her hair long and straight, hitting the top of her shoulders. She looked smart… Important.

“Ms. Lee… Its nice to meet you.”

She held her hand out and I shook it gently.  Jungkook smiled at her fondly and his phone rang from somewhere inside the studio.

“Hang on that’s probably Soeun…” He smiled at me and moved away and I watched him leave before shifting my gaze to Hyorin, who was staring down at me with a small smile.

“Are you here in Italy by yourself? Or with one of your many …uh… patrons ?” She smirked.

I blinked.

“Patrons?” I asked softly. “ Excuse me?”

“Jungkook and I’ve been following all the stories about you, back in Korea. You get around quite a lot… don’t you? Every alpha within a 100 mile radius wants a piece of the lovely Kim Heejin… And honestly, could anyone blame them? You look exquisite.”

I stared at her, stunned. The implication was so obvious that I would be an idiot not to realize what she was hinting at. So this was the woman , Jungkook chose? Yet another prejudiced bigot?

I laughed a bit, feeling my heart sink.

“I’m not seeing anyone. If that’s what you’re asking.” I said quietly.

Hyorin smirked at that.

“Of course you aren’t… We all know that isn’t really something your kind does… monogamy, right?”

“Do you have a problem with me Hyorin ssi?” I asked roughly and she laughed.

“Oh come on.. we’re all adults, here. And Heejin, you  agreed to be a part of this festival, knowing full well, that’s what we think . Its because deep down you know I’m right….. Omegas can’t stay with one alpha. They need sex to survive and they are usually open to it with anyone. Not that I’m blaming you or judging you for it. It’s just how you’re built.”

I smiled wide, ignoring the urge to claw at her face. .

“Well, you’ve definitely got me all figured out haven’t you? “ I shook my head, glancing at Jungkook who was making his way over.

“What are you talking about?” He asked curiously and I smiled, glancing at her.

“ Hyorin ssi was just telling me how my sub gender makes it impossible for me to not go around whoring with every alpha I see…….” I glanced at him and Jungkook straightened, looking stunned, “ Well, I hope you two enjoy your beautiful monogamous relationship with each other something an omega like me can only fantasize about…. Right Jungkook?” I smiled and he looked completely lost.

“Wait…What? Hyorin what did you say?” He demanded and she was glaring at me now.

“Please don’t take it personally, I was only talking about omegas in general. “ Hyorin frowned, before bowing and moving away to stalk off in the direction of the bedrooms and I watched her, feeling dirty and terrible.

“Heejin, ignore her.. she’s just old fashioned and-“

“Is that what you’re going to call it?” I snapped and Jungkook froze.

“Heejin…”

I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’m not upset about what she said. I’m upset that she feels comfortable enough, spouting that bullshit to me , in your house. Makes me wonder what else she’s told you about omegas, and how much of it you probably agreed with.”

Jungkook stared at me , lips parted.

“I… I don’t feel that way. You know that.” He said stiltedly.

“Do I? All I know is that she knows about me, about who I am and apparently, she can call me a slut…. In front of you, without worrying about it upsetting you. And that tells me you’re as much of a bigot as she is.”

“Heejin… You know that’s not it. We all grow up being fed certain things and –“

“But you did grow up right?” I snapped. “ you grew up and you can think and act for yourself. As can she. Once you’re an adult, you don’t have a single fucking excuse for being racist or homophobic or bigoted because being an adult means having the ability to unlearn the toxic things you’ve been taught and relearn how to be a decent fucking human.”

I shook my head as he stared at me.

“And you know what…please just… just don’t call me or consider me as a friend.” I laughed. “ Because I don’t think I can consider you one. Not anymore. You can’t…...You can’t just love certain parts of me and be disgusted by others you know? I don’t need a friend who can care about me and love me and help me as long as he can forget that I’m an omega….. I need a friend who can love every jagged, broken , part of me. Who can call out people who talk bullshit at me , who can look someone in the eye and tell them they’re wrong when they’re calling me names  and that’s not who you are……. You’re not it.” I snapped.

Jungkook looked stricken, reaching out to hold me and I stepped away, annoyed.

“I’m sorry, Heejin, you’re right … I’ll talk to her… I’ll…” He began but I shook my head.

“Whatever.  Just don’t call me a friend. We can’t be friends. Let’s just be what we always were , yeah? A big fucking mistake that never should have happened.”

I stormed out of the door, shaking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean, there are no flights available for today?” I snapped. “Tell them money isn’t an issue. I need to get out of this place right now.”

Minho looked incredibly stricken, hair messy from how often he’d run his fingers through.

“ We just arrived seven hours ago, Hee. Of course there’s no flight yet…. We can stay another day…attend the dinner and-“

“No.” I snapped. “ Absolutely not. I’m not here because they find my art good  or worth putting up. I’m here because they know the alphas around here will want to pay more , to pour in more cash for a chance with me.” I held the embossed booklet up, waving it in his face.

“Heejin…” He protested but I shook my head.

“ Did you see the cost to get into my pane ?. Extra ….for alphas? And yet…apparently they had to pre book it and its filled? You think any of the lecherous bastards who paid money to see me , gives a shit about my art?  And apparently, there’s a meet and greet, for alphas only if they purchase seven or more paintings worth over 10000 Euros. Do you think, that’s what I’m worth?”

Minho looked down at his shoes, ashamed.

“I .. I’m sorry, Hee. You’re right. Its offensive . And an insult to your art and talent. We shouldn’t have come here, you’re right. And I regret it… But just… give me a few hours, yeah? I’ll find a way to get us out of here….”

I exhaled sharply, exhaustion weighing heavy on my head. I felt like I’d taken a pounding, physically and mentally and I wondered how a day that had started so well, could go so wrong, so fast…

Shaking my head, I trudged wearily to the elevator, knocking on the buttons before sagging against the wall, letting my eyes flutter shut.

Jungkook was dating.

Jungkook was dating. His girlfriend thought I was a slut and here I was about to prove her right.

I wanted to slit someone’s throat.

Sighing, I watched the door slide open, grabbing my keys out of my bag,  and moving to the suite. I opened the door before making a beeline for the bed. I collapsed on the soft duvet, groaning. I was torn between wanting to call Taehyung to yell at him about Jungkook and calling Minho to demand an update on the flights.

I was spared the dilemma when the phone in the room rang. Groaning, I moved to swat at the phone, turning on the speaker.

“Ms. Kim? There’s a Mr. Jeon here to see you?”

I blinked, feeling disbelief swell inside me. Did he not get the hint?

Annoyed, I sat up.

“Send him up.” I said, in no mood to go all the way down to see him.

“Up?” She sounded surprised, “ To your room?”

“Yes. To my room. Is that a fucking problem?” I growled, annoyed.

“Not at all Ms. Kim. He’ll be right up.”

I got out of bed, shrugging off my jacket and taking off my dress as well. It was a little damp because I’d sweated through the fabric. I grabbed one of my oversized t shirts , slipping it on and moving to open the door before retreating back to the inner room. Feeling annoyed, I walked up to the vanity and grabbed the hair brush, running the bristles through my locks. I heard his footsteps outside and stiffened.

“If you’re here to defend your shitty girlfriend, you can just leave Jungkook. I swear to God, I’ve had enough of this.” I shouted. He didn’t reply and my hackles rose.

“Listen, I’m sorry if I said something harsh-“ I froze when I reached the doorway, staring at the man in front of me. He had a large , almost humongous bouquet of wild orchids and roses in his hand and I stared at his face.  

This was definitely not Jungkook.

“Umm… hi.” The man bowed awkwardly, his gaze going straight to my legs, where my t shirt ended, just a couple of inches past my waist. I felt the blood rush to my face.

“Who are you…Get out !!!” I shouted, horrified, diving for my jacket and holding it up against my bare thighs. The man held both his hands up, eyes wide..

“I’m sorry… I… you said I could come up to your room….” He protested and I scowled, confused.

“What? “ I stared, stunned… “ Who…what?”

“I’m Wonwoo. Jeon Wonwoo. I’m uh….one of the sponsors for this festival. And a fan. Huge fan.” He was staring at me beseechingly and I felt my head begin to throb.

The sheer relentlessness of this day…..

“I… Mr. Jeon…” So weird, God, “ There’s been a misunderstanding. I’m not…. I thought you were someone else.”

“Jungkook yes…your ex husband, right? You were married to him for six months after he lost his wife….. He’s also one of the artists exhibiting their work here.” He nodded quickly, running long fingers through thick glossy hair, lips parting in a hesitant smile and I stared at him.

“How do you know all that? ” I demanded, heart pounding. He immediately held his hands up again.

“I’m sorry… I sound like a stalker, shit. But Trust me I’m not. I just am a huge fan.. I looked up some stuff about you….before.” He shuffled a bit awkwardly, finally looking up at me.

I tried to catch his scent. No scent to speak of. A beta then. Relaxing just a bit, I swallowed. At least I wasn’t in any immediate danger. But still, I had no intention of letting him see me in nothing but a t shirt. Embarrassed, I gripped the jacket tighter.

“Why are you here?” I demanded angrily, taking in his appearance. He didn’t look like a hoodlum or someone dangerous. He was good looking, dressed in a white t shirt and black Jacket over plain black slacks. His shoes looked expensive and I didn’t miss the shiny Rolex on his wrist either,.

“Well, for one thing I own the Hotel.” He chuckled and that made my stomach turn. “And also like I said, I’m one of the main sponsors for the Festival itself.”

“Right.” I was too disoriented to process this, head throbbing. “Of course. Is there a reason why you wanted to see me?”

“I was downstairs…just now… I couldn’t help but overhear you with your agent. You wanted to leave as soon as possible. To pull out of the event and I’m just here to try and change your mind, Ms. Kim.” He smiled earnestly and I realized he was really quite young.

I sighed.

“Could you… Could you wait outside? I want to put some clothes on before we talk any further.” I said tiredly and he bowed quickly.

“Uh… These…I’ll just leave these here.” He placed the large bunch of flowers on the table before quickly leaving the room and I swore, racing to the suitcase in the corner. I quickly grabbed a pair of jeans, slipping them on hastily and zipping myself up before glancing at the mirror again. This would have to do.

I moved to the door and opened it, finding him right there, looking lost.

“I… come in, please.” I said hesitantly and he bowed again, moving in and waiting for me to close the door and take a seat on the couch, before sinking into an arm chair across from me.

“Did you see the itinerary? It doesn’t get more sexualized than this.” I waved the booklet and he flushed.

“I understand you’re upset about … certain things. I’m sorry that you feel objectified , in the festival. It wasn’t the intention I had when I first told Hyorin and the others that I wanted them to invite you. But , I’ve been busy the past month, and I didn’t go over the complete agenda. If I did, I definitely would have made sure that you were treated with just as much respect as the others. Unfortunately, there’s not much I can do now, but I’ve had a word with all of the panelists and also the hosts. We won’t entertain any question or comments of a sexual nature and if anyone tries to insinuate anything , I’ll have them removed from the panel myself. “ He said firmly.

“I’m only here because you told me you would exhibit my mother’s works too.” I said sharply and he bowed.

“ Your mother’s works are just as exquisite and I’ve arranged for them to be displayed right at the center of the arena, with a running slide show of her childhood , her art technique and the great love she had for her daughter.” He said firmly.

I could only stare. He sounded incredibly sincere and there was no mistaking the earnestness in his tone.

“I’m….” I bit my lips, “  Listen, Mr. Jeon, I’m flattered but honestly, I never wanted to be here. I… there was … something else that made me want to come and well, that turned out to be a huge mistake. To be honest, I’m not sure if I have it in me to suffer through days of people treating me like I’m some kind of sex crazed bimbo.” I shook my head.

“how about this.? You let me be your date for tonight and you let me display your work, today at the dinner itself. I’ll be right by your side. And then, I’ll have my private jet on standby and we can fly back to Korea. You deserve the spotlight, Heejin and I want people to see how good you are at what you do. I don’t care if I lose money over this… As long as you’re comfortable. ”

I gawked at him, stunned.

“Private Jet?” I choked out. “ Okay, now I’m genuinely concerned.”

He laughed.

“I’m a Hotelier, and I have properties all over the world and I like to inspect them personally most of the time. Its more practical to have a private jet than to try and align my schedules with everyone else.” He smiled.

“Right. Convenient.” I shook my head. “ I’m no stranger to excessive wealth, Mr. Jeon and trust me, it’s always left a  sour taste in my mouth.”

“I don’t flaunt my wealth, Ms. Kim. These clothes? Got them on the streets of Florence. I drive a Mazda. Wealth has no meaning to me. People do. People like you, who bring beauty into the world with their craft. You’ve made my world beautiful and I just want to repay , in some way.” He smiled,  “ Also,  You’re very  beautiful.” He added and then immediately looked away. “ I’m sorry. That was… dumb . I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable.”

Endeared against my own wishes, I found myself fighting a small smile.

“Just tonight’s dinner?” I asked quietly.

“Just the dinner party.” He assured me quickly.

“Alright. But I’m not getting into any private Jet. My agent will book me tickets and I’ll find my way back to Korea.”

“As you wish. I’ll pick you up at seven. What color is your dress?” He asked casually and I blinked.

“Uh… Wine red? I guess? Why?”

He grinned, looking boyishly handsome.

“I’ll see you at seven, Ms. Kim.”

He bowed, before pausing by the bouquet. He grabbed a couple of  flowers, holding them up for me to see.  

“Daffodils and Lilacs.” He grinned, “ To finding something new to love. And to new beginnings.”

Wow.

Subtle.

I shook my head, momentarily forgetting all about Jungkook as I grinned all the way back to the bedroom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I told you… coming with me will earn you major points.” Wonwoo smirked as he pulled me in by my waist , holding my dress up for me as I stared at the sleek black limousine at the Hotel entrance. I watched as he held my wrist gently, latching a string of sterling silver and red rubies around the delicate curve of it.

“This is too lavish…I don’t want this…Who are you?” I demanded, flushing because of the way the flashes went off in every direction, reporters scrambling when they caught sight of him. He was clearly popular, if the number of photos being clicked were any indication. I regretted everything.

Wonwoo pressed a kiss to my wrists, right near the bracelet and gently placed my palm on the curve of his elbow, leading me over to the car and I watched the chauffeur open the door for us.  

“ Someone who can get anyone here fired. Be careful , sweetheart.” I watched in mute horror as he bent low, picking up the hem of my skirt so I wouldn’t trip, while climbing into the limousine. The reporters began whispering excitedly and more flashes went off . My face completely red, I hastened to climb in.

“These people look at you like you’re some kind of King.” I stared out of the tinted windows seeing the sheer multitude of people and Wonwoo chuckled.

“ That’s because I am. At least for tonight. And that’s why I’m the perfect guy to protect you Heejin. They’re all terrified of me.” He winked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jungkook found me, fifteen minutes into the event. I hung by the large archway, near an alcove, sipping champagne and nibbling on some hors d’oeuvre as people threw glances at me. I noticed the conspicuous lack of a date on his arm and straightened, sighing and bracing myself for more unpleasantness as he picked his way through the crowd, eyes trained on me.

“Can we talk?” He said, the minute he was at hearing distance and I exhaled.

“No.” I said casually and he made a noise of impatience.

“Fucking, hell Heejin..just…” He swore again, looking upset. “ Why are you doing this to me? What do you want from me huh?”

I stared at him in disbelief.

“What do I want from you? Oh, fuck off Jungkook. I want nothing from you.” I snapped, turning on my heel, ready to leave but his hand shot out, gripping me right above my elbow, fingers curling in hard.

“Fuck.. listen. I don’t know what she said to you. I .. I’m sorry if she offended you…. Alright? She’s an alpha… I can’t change the way she thinks…”

“I didn’t ask you to. I merely said that if you associate yourself with people who think I’m scum, I won’t let you into my life. Because I respect myself too much for that.” I said firmly.

“She doesn’t think you’re scum, Heejin come on. She just has some misconceptions about certain things.”

“God, Jungkook…just stop. Alright? Stop. Because I’m not asking you do anything. I’m leaving on a flight tomorrow morning and you’ll never see me again. That’s all there is to it.”

He froze at that, fingers curling harder around my arm and it hurt, the skin turning red. Stupid fucker, never knew his own strength.

“Ow, Jungkook let go.” I whispered, and he did, albeit reluctantly.

I rubbed at the bruised skin, furious. I watched as the redness healed over, the pain fading to a throb and then into a pleasant heat and I hated it. Hated that being an omega meant that Jungkook’s rough touch turned to pleasure on my skin.

“What do you mean you’re leaving tomorrow? The Festival is for two weeks.”

I sighed.

“I didn’t come here for the festival. I came here to see you. To see if you were as hung up on me as I was on you…but apparently not.” I snapped.

Jungkook went perfectly still at that.

“What the fuck does that mean?” He said softly and I laughed, shaking my head.

“Wow. You really never even considered it huh? Us? Together.?” It wasn’t funny at all, but I could only laugh. Probably because I’d been so sure.. So certain that there was something there.

He opened his mouth to answer but I felt a warm solidness behind me, an arm wrapping around my waist and a second later, Wonwoo was there pressing up against me.

“Jungkook-ssi… Such a pleasure to meet you.” He held his hand out, and Jungkook frowned, his eyes trained on where wonwoo’s fingers curled around my waist.

“Get your hands off her.” He said shortly and Wonwoo blinked, pulling away from me and stepping back .

“What the-? No. Fuck you.” I snapped, glaring at Jungkook before grabbing Wonwoo’s hand and bringing it back around me. “Don’t you fucking dare take your hands off.” I held my finger up at his face and Wonwoo looked momentarily stunned.

“Really, Heejin? You’re doing this?” Jungkook glared at me. “ We need to talk.”

“So talk.” I snapped. “ Tell me why you think a bigoted bitch is the best you can do in terms of dating. Tell me why she’s the only one who can ‘ understand’ “ I made air quotes, shaking my head, “ You think you and your shitty have monopoly on grief Jungkook? I’ve lost people too. Just because I haven’t screwed other people over because of it, doesn’t make my grief invalid….yeah.”

Ringing silence followed and I regretted everything.

“Fuck.” I whispered, shaking my head. “ I .. Shit. I need to get out of here.”

I pulled away from Wonwoo, moving out of the huge ballroom and Jungkook was right behind me, of course he was.

“Heejin…fuck. Wait. You’re right. I didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t understand me. Of course you did. Its why you stuck around… I know that. And you’re right, she had no business talking about you like that. I’ll have a word with her… But…”

I sped up, wanting to get away but he grabbed me again, tugging me closer out of the hall way and into a darkened alcove and I flinched when he pushed me up against the wall, caging me in, as he pressed in closer.

“What did you mean by that?” He demanded, hands coming up to grip my waist, curling gently and my chest heaved at the touch of him, the enclosed space making his scent turn potent, strong and impossible to avoid. My nostril flared as I breathed him in, familiar and yet so foreign, comforting and yet so fucking dangerous.

“By what?” I snapped and his hands moved up, shaping the curves of my body , thumb grazing the tip of my breast and making me jump, before moving up, gripping my face, gently. He pressed his thumb into my lower lip, rubbing back and forth, face impossibly close and I swallowed, throat sandpaper dry.

“About us? Together….” He breathed and I exhaled shakily.

“You know what I meant.” I whispered. “ If you don’t then I can’t explain it.” I whispered and he swore, head dropping against mine, forehead resting against mine, and lips less than a hairsbreadth away.

We’ve never kissed, I thought suddenly. I licked my lips, turning my face away but his fingers gripped my chin at once, yanking me around to stare at him again.

“Look at me, baby. Tell me… You thought about us together?” He whispered .

I breathed shakily.

“Of course I did…. “ I snapped.

“Then clearly therapy isn’t working for you.” He snapped right back and I flinched.

“What-“

Jungkook pulled away staring at me.

“ Do you even remember all the shit I did to you?” He asked quietly. My stomach dropped.

“Jungkook.”

“I broke your ribs.” He said calmly. I swallowed.

“That.. That was an accident. You didn’t mean to.” I protested. “ And we’re past all that… I don’t… I don’t blame you for it.” I said, which was honest enough.

“And what about the nights I got drunk, Heejin….” He said softly and my skin went cold.

“That… That was just… It was just an outlet for your grief… “ I looked away and he scoffed.

“You’re calling it an outlet for grief. I believe the world calls it rape.”

I felt my entire body shiver at the word , moving up to wrap my arms around his neck, trying to pull him close but he was stiff as a board.

“ Don’t” I snapped. “ Don’t …. Its over…it’s in the past.”

“It was still me. I was the one who did it and I can’t… I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.”

I pulled away to glare at him.

“So , what? You won’t give us a chance because of something I’ve already forgiven you for?”

“Yes.” He said shortly. “ Because you may have forgiven me, but I haven’t forgiven myself.”

I felt my body sag in disbelief.

“Jungkook that’s-“

“You deserve better. You always have. I’m not… I don’t deserve someone like you Heejin. You’re kind and breathtaking and I’m just… a broken mess of a man who’s barely getting by.”

“Oh, right… So broken.” I scoffed. “ You’re on the front page of magazines, you have a successful career and a beautiful girlfriend,,,,forgive me if I’m not breaking my heart over your failures.”

Jungkook exhaled shakily before looking up at me.

“  You wanna know the truth about me, Heejin-ah?” He swallowed. “ I just got out of rehab last week.”

I went still.

“What?” I was sure I’d misheard.

“I… I came here and about a month or so in…I started drinking again…” He glanced away and my heart turned over inside me.

“Jungkook, what?” I demanded, horrified.

“I got drunk and got into an argument with a cop. I hit him. They found out I was a single father and-“ He shook his head, “ I got arrested for disorderly conduct , Public intoxication and assault.”

I stared at him in disbelief, unable to keep the disappointment out of my tone.

“ Arrested for assault... Jungkook why?” I breathed and he flushed.

“I know…. It was stupid.. I… I was stupid.” He said softly.  “Soeun isn’t a baby sitter. She’s a social worker. She’s here to keep an eye on me because they want to make sure I’m not a threat to Mina. If I slip up, they’ll deport me back home and then the state will likely take her away from me. Soeun likes me….so she agreed to lie to you ……And as for the girlfriend…” He laughed, shaking his head, “ Hyorin broke up with me after I got arrested. We’re not… We’re not dating. She was only there to get some prints for the panel tomorrow.” He finished shakily.

I stared at him.

“Why?” I demanded . “ Why would you lie to me… Jungkook ….”

“Because I didn’t want you to think I was a screw up.” He said shakily. “ I know I’m supposed to be getting better and I have but… But sometimes I just…I miss…. I miss home. “ He shuddered. “ And you.”  He looked up at me. “ I miss you a lot, Heejin and it hurts and I feel like the only way I can forget about you…about us together is if I drink. And I’m sorry. I know I don’t have the right to miss you, not after everything I put you through but I… it’s how I feel. ” He glanced away, trembling a little.

I wrapped my arms around myself, stepping away, feeling myself go cold.

We stayed quiet for a few seconds, both of us staring at the floor lost in our own thoughts. I felt drained. Miserably so. Like someone had sucked all the strength out of me. I realized how badly I had wanted Jungkook to be okay. To heal and be himself again. And I’d spent the last nine months, fully convinced that he was. That he was doing what he loved, bonding with his daughter building a life for himself.

But apparently, he was also spiraling back into addiction as well.

It was like we were back in that apartment, both of us miserable  but desperate to be something we clearly were not : Okay.

“Does Taehyung know?” I asked finally and Jungkook hesitated before nodding.

“He was at my court hearing three weeks ago. He’s the reason I haven’t already lost her.” Jungkook whispered.

“What did he say?”

“He thinks I should come back to Korea.” Jungkook said quietly. “ He wants me to start therapy again with him. Every week. “

I nodded.

“Fair enough. And what do you think?”

“I think I will. My probation ends in three days. I’ll… I’ll start making arrangements afterwards. I’ll probably be back in a few weeks time. ”

I stared at him, finally seeing the things I hadn’t noticed this morning. The shadows beneath his eyes, the worry lines on his brow. I wondered if he would have ever told me the truth, if not for this little confrontation between us.

Silence descended again and I bit my lips, a million thoughts running through my head. I felt the pull of his scent through it all, an instinctive urge to reach out and touch and draw him close and I wondered if this was it. That for the rest of our lives we would just be drawn to each other, reluctant and hurt but unable to stay away.

“You’re leaving tomorrow then?” He asked quietly breaking through the fog in my head.  

“Well obviously not.” I snapped. “ I’m not leaving you. I’ll tell Minho, we’ll be staying here for a few weeks. Do you actually have a possible job back home? If you don’t I can ask my agent to find one for you….”

Jungkook was staring at me like I’d grown an extra head.

“ What?” I asked roughly.

He swallowed.

“No.. I .. I don’t have a job there.”

“We’ll get you one. And my apartment is big enough so you can stay with me till we find you a place of your own. And I think it’ll actually be good for you, because there’s a Fine Art photographer, pretty well know guy who stays just a few blocks away and e can probably- “

“You haven’t really changed have you?” Jungkook cut me off in the middle of my rambling .

I flushed, looking away.

“What do you mean?”

“Back when we were married… it was just like this.. I’d fuck up and do something awful and you’d just take it all in stride, get ready to help me out of it….”

“I don’t know what you mean…” I said quickly, “ Let’s go back to the party we’ll talk later-“

He grabbed both my arms, pulling me back to face him when I tried to get past him and I yelped, staring up at him in surprise.

“What?” I demanded. “ What is it now?”

“How do you do this thing, Heejin ?” He asked roughly. “ How do you just get ready to clean up every fucking mess I make like it doesn’t hurt you? Like I don’t hurt you?”

“What are you talking about?” I tried to wriggle out of his hold but he tugged me closer.

“How do you just…” He shook his head, “ accept me so unconditionally? Like… Its like no matter what I do, you’re just willing to look past it and I don’t fucking understand Heejin… why do you put up with me, damn it?”

I stared right at him. Caught his gaze and held it, refusing to look away.

“You know why.” I whispered, licking my lips, throat dry,  “ And if you don’t…. I’m not going to tell you.”

His eyes widened , lips parting and he exhaled sharply, before letting me go and stepping away.

He looked away, shaking a little and I sighed.

“Let’s just get this night over with, yeah?” I said quietly. “ and then we’ll talk.”

He didn’t reply, merely standing aside and motioning for me to leave first.

I shook my head, moving to grip his arm instead.

“Together.” I said firmly. “ We’ll get this night over with, together.”

 Author’s Note : i love these two. i’ve never wanted two people to be together so much. 

@taeshuworld  .@girlinthemikrokosmos  @xius-exos  @sugainfireslex  @yunkichiee@kpopstudybee @ephyraaaa  @peachoney9795 @ggukkieland  @veronawrites  @blr1004   @tinyhoagiepartylover @btsis7okay @squishyjk  @itsdingdong @emmmui  @honeeybunneey  @yeonkiminnie @just-me-and-myselfs  @delicate-snow-flake  @kpop-lore  @beautifulvirgobutterfly @sumzysworld  @btsmylife21  @teresaisla .@melrosaeparker @taestannie @dchimminie  @ meraki–life  @somewhereinthestates  @mawwnsterr  @kookiesbreaky  @chimchoom  

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[simpingfortheages]

//EYE CONTACT//

CORDELIA GOODE X FEM READER

(ANGST AND FLUFF)

A/N : she be looong as fuck sorry nat sorry 😂

Eyes are the gateways to the soul, words and feelings can be exchanged by a simple act of making eye contact.

Cordelia is busy and seems to no longer have time for the reader . All the reader wanted to do was help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~♤~~~~~~~~~~~~~♤~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cordelia knew that being Supreme was tiresome, but she never thought that it would be to this extent. She hasn't slept in almost a week and she is pretty sure that there is coffee coarsing her veins instead of blood. Cordelia has been up, keeping track of all the suspicious activities happening around the world in hopes the cause is a witch. That's just Cordelia for you. She is always looking out for others before herself. Putting the needs of others before her own. Staying up all day and night so that she can grow and teach those in her coven. She really is deserving of Supreme. Cordelia has been trying to rub the sleep out of her eyes for the past while. Her head bobbing while filling out documents and having to shake her head ever so often to keep on track of whatever file she was reading. Cordelia's new project has been her trying to track down this other witch, however her attempts have been futile. Everytime she thinks she has a lead on the witch she seems to change location and vanish . The witch is powerful and would be a great addition to the Coven. This took a toll on her, She was snappish and everyone knew it, but no one blamed her because she was stressed, even Madison didn't annoy Cordelia or made any snarky comments. After internally debating with herself, the choice of sleep won. She shifted the stack of paper that she was currently working on to the side of the mahogany desk. She laid her arm on the desk and laid her head between the crook of the elbow while her other hand tried to massage away the 3rd on coming migraine. Her migraine for the past days were seemingly becoming worse, as though her body was begging her to stop and reset herself. She didn't have a choice at this point, she needed to rest otherwise she would have crashed and gotten less time to get work done.

Y/N's POV

I am fairly new to Ms Robichaux's academy, I was "enrolled" 3 months ago, not by choice but by force. I set my mother's boyfriend on fire out of accident. YES BY ACCIDENT.... Well maybe not all the way an accident. I got angry and let my temper get the best of me. Surprisingly I didn't get in trouble from my mother, she said something about a witch bloodline. I didn't really pay much attention to her words or have much time to react to what i did,because my mother was quick to call some witch lady whose hair was firey red and the way she spoke was regal. I later learned on the ride to the academy, that her name was Myrtle Snow. I have learnt the names of my fellow sisters Madison, Zoey, Queenie, Coco and Mallory. So far they have been fairly nice to me but I don't really interact with them much. Most of the times I keep to myself and listen to Fleetwood Mac in my room all by myself. Apparently everyone has someone to room with but me,not that I am complaining. But i must say, out of everyone in the Coven whom I've met so far, my favourite is the Surpeme. The first time we met I was taken aback by her beauty. The way her blonde hair rested delicately on her squared shoulders , the way her makeup was done in such a way that it highlighted all of her best features, which by the looks of it. It was her whole body. Her eyes were captivating , she smiled at me through them. I couldn't help but stare right back into her dark brown eyes, they held power and safety. The eye contact wasn't uncomfortable, it was an unspoken exchange.

Cordelia took it upon herself to show me around my new home. It was majestic, I took note of every detail ,from the paint brush strokes done on the painting that hung on the walls to the crack on the 4th step going up the twin staircases. My favourite place however was the Greenhouse. Well, her greenhouse. She told me that it was her place of relaxation,her get away from it all. The walls were covered with vines, the sunroof allowed the golden rays of the sun to filter into the room and paint all that it touches. The walls variety of plant species and herbs that she has collected over the years was quite impressive. It was beautiful. Overtime this became our habit. After dinner or lunch we would both make our way to the Greenhouse to create new concoctions. Whether it would be sleeping potions, manipulation potions or simply love potions. We never used on each other , it was just done merely for the fun of it. I felt happy for the first time in many. The little hugs ,inside jokes and nicknames we would share. It was all innocent fun at the time until, one time I was making a potion and Cordelia stood right behind me watching my every moves. I don't know what came over me, I dont know if it was the closeness of our proximity ,the warm breathe of her breathing that brushed my neck whenever she exhaled or the fact that she kissed my cheek right after telling me how good of a job I was at following orders. After that day I can't help but blush whenever we locked eyes. Light brown on dark brown. Neither of us looked away. Her eyes felt like home, a place that i longed to be. These few months I've developed quite an attachment to the Supreme,one might even say a crush on her.

However these past days I noticed that she was quite distant. She wouldn't catch on to the jokes I made, like she normally would. The amount of times she paced up and down the walkway in the Greenhouse, the layer of dirt and colour of orange on the brick floor started to fade. Cordelia kept ranting and complaining about finding a certain witch. Of course I didn't mind her talking to me. I always liked to know what new projects she was up too. But It was evident that this one occupied her mind. When she was with me, she wasn't with me mentally just her physical appearance. She would sometimes forget about our daily meet up, some days turned into few days and eventually a few days turned into none. I didn't hold anything against her. She was busy. I took it upon myself to help her find who this witch was. So you know she can spend more time with me,it wasn't a selfish act. Just killing two birds with one stone. Cordelia would be able to finally relax and I would get to spend time with her more often. It's a Win/ Win.

Cordelia just went into her office so that meant I had basically the whole evening until dinner to find out who this witch was. As I sauntered my way to my room. I began to recollect all what Cordelia told me. It was a little witch on the run, maybe she didn't what to join a Coven like me. Cordelia knew every thing about the little witch. She was a slippery one, evading the hands of the Surpeme. I remember her saying that the witch was a little younger than I was, with black hair and green eyes. Her speciality is Cloaking, she could cover her tracks very well. A rare skill some witches possess.I laid out my pens and my leather bound notebook on the bed and started to make notes of what i knew so far. After I was done, I realised it wasn't much information. I needed more if i was going to help Cordelia. I needed to see from another set of eyes. I shifted my notes aside and laid flat on the bed. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing. No one knew but i was Clairvoyant. I could make myself hear and see what someone was thinking.

******time skip*******

THAT'S IT !!. I found the witch. She was running from something or someone. The little witch was seeking safety,maybe she did need to be in a Coven. Without any time to waste. I quickly wrote down all that I gathered into my note book. I couldn't contain my excitement, Cordelia and I will finally get to hang out like old times. I scrambled off my bed and made a beeline towards her office. *knock knock* "Dee I found out how to get the witc-" I began,but she wasn't in her office. Huh where is she then? . After a few minutes of futile searching in the upstairs I decided to check the kitchen. As I walked downstairs, the kitchen came into my view. There she was. My supreme making her possible 7th cup of coffee. I couldn't help my heart from fluttering at the sight of her. We haven't spoken in so long. " Hey Dee, do you remember when we used to hang out in the Greenhouse, i miss those times but thats not the point, anyways you always used to speak about this witch you couldn't find??Apparently I never told you but i am Clairvoyant which is really handy beca-" I rambled but was quickly cut off by Corldeia," Y/N! Be quiet . Stop talking Oh my God shut up. Please can't you see that I am busy and tired??"

Immediately I felt small, wishing the ground would just swallow me whole. Her eyes were locked on mine, the once safety and calm that I loved were replaced with anger and annoyance ....at me. I could feel my chest tighten, so tight that it began to squeeze my heart till it slowly cracked. I bit my tongue to hold back the tears that threatened to fall. It was evident that Cordelia's expressions changed based on my now small demeanour. I forcefully swallowed the lump that built in my throath. Out of hurt I threw my notebook on the marble counter where she rested her half way made coffee. The only words i spat out were "There's how to get your witch to join this shithole Coven Miss Goode". Her mouth was now slightly ajar at my words. No longer wanting to stay in her presence, I turned my heels and made my way back up to my room as Cordelia struggled to find her words.

*******TIME SKIP PT 2********

Thanks to me Cordelia managed to get in contact with the witch who will be joining the Coven in 2 weeks time. For these past few days I have suscessfully managed to avoid Cordelia. Of course I didn't avoid her presence. I had more dignity than that. I just made sure that I was never alone with her. That way she couldn't "apologise"or ask me the questions she really wanted too. I was mad at her. She didn't have to yell at me,I know i am talkative to people when i get comfortable with them, but still out of everyone to yell at me I would never suspect that it would be her. I no longer joined her in the Greenhouse to help her with her potions. Having breakfast and lunch with everyone was the worst. I no longer sat next to her at the table, instead I sat next to Madison,but that didn't stop her from trying to talk to me. As everyone else engaged in mini conversations at the table, Cordelia silently spoke to me from the head of the table " Y/N how have you been?". I lifted my head and focused my gaze from my tea cup to the silver in her bracelet, dismissing the hopeful look in her eyes. "I've been better Ms .Goode" I replied with extra emphasis on her last name. You know for an extra punch of guilt. Cordelia has noticed my lack of eye contact over the past days and she couldn't help but feel hurt at the act.

********time skip pt3**********

It was probably about 7 pm when i heard the clattering on heels on the floor. Shifting my attention from the crackling of the fireplace I looked over my shoulder to see that all the girls were dressed up and ready to head out somewhere. "Hey? Where are you guys going?" I questioned. "Out." Said Madison. I couldn't help but scoff at her reply. "Okayy???And you didn't ask me because??". Madison abruptly turned around "You and Cordy need to fix whatever is going on between you too. Don't think we haven't seen the change" she commented as she roughly pressed her index finger into my chest. Before I could even find my words. The door was slammed in my face. If Madison and the girls think that I am staying alone in the academy with Cordelia alone they are wrong. In another situation I would have taken that chance in a heartbeat. Lost and confused at the exchange that just happened, this gave Cordelia time to enter the living room. " Y/N?" She spoken almost in a whisper. I swear to the ex Supreme herself my eyes almost jumped out my eye sockets . My movements were stiffened as i tried to turn around. I took a deep breathe and attempted to make the situation fall into the better of my hands. " Yes Ms Goode? How are you?" I asked, while facing the floor. " I am sorry y/n I didn't mean to yell at you, you helped me a lot on my project and I cannot repay you enough" Cordelia spoke. I genuinely smiled at her gratitude "you're so very welcome Ms Goode" . Suddenly I felt her hands wrap around my form pulling me in a strong hug. I was stunned for a while and didn't know how to react. Sobs and small apologises fell from her lips as she buried her head into the crook of my neck. I reciprocated her hug but this caused her to cry even more. " Ms Goode please don't cry" I tried to comfort her, but all that left her mouth was a small, muffled "no". As she calmed herself she pulled away and wiped her tears away as she tried to look presentable. "Don't call me that. Call me by my nickname" she demaded. I chuckled at her command " okay dee." She cupped my face into her soft palms. I could smell her vanilla lotion that she regularly applies on her hands. She lifted my face to hers, but my eyes still didnt need hers. " y/n look at me" she whimpered. " Dee I am looking at you" I said smiling nervously as my eyes darted over the beautiful features of her face, never settling on her eyes. " baby..." she whispered. My heart constricted . Cordelia repeated the statement to look at her once more. This time I complied. Did she really mean that? does she like me back?. Her eyes were watering, her gorgeous brown eyes even when they hold the emotion of hurt. I still cannot help but stare in awe. Her eyes were filled with longing and hope. I don't know who closed the gap but our lips met in the middle. Kissing Cordelia was pure ecstasy, the kiss was one of tender and love. It felt as though part of me was finally completed. After a while we both pulled away, she delicately laced her slender fingers together with mine, interlocking our hands. Both of us trying to catch our breathe , Cordelia slowly leaned forward and gently rested her forehead against mine. Ever so quietly whispering to me the sweet words," and I do feel the same..."

[calicocatwrites]

Ass, Titty, Or Thighs?

Word Count: 1,970

Warnings: Talk of titties and ass, kind of a given, a little bit of swearing in Bakugou and Shinso’s.

Headcanon: Do the BNHA boys prefer ass, titties, thighs, or magical answer number 4?

Characters: Iida, Bakugou, Kirishima, Todoroki, Midoriya, Shinso

Author’s Note: Just my take on this idea, of course you can have different opinions than me, this is just what I think!

Tenya Iida:

This is a titty man.

Hear me out with this one.

He looks respectfully, obviously, this is Tenya Iida we’re talking about, but just the way they move has Iida in a different state of mind.

His favorite subject is jiggle physics (I will take myself out-).

Like, how do they move? Does it hurt? Fascinating, truly.

He doesn’t care what they look like, as long as they’re on you, the person he loves, he’s happy.

You’re watching TV in your dorm room when Iida furiously knocks on your door. Pausing your show, you get up and open the door for him.

“Hey, Iida! You need something?”

He quickly glances around your room, as if checking if someone is there, and stutters out his request.

“Ms. Y/N, i-is it ok if I may ask y-you a question I’ve prepared?”

Not seeing any harm in inviting him in, you gently crack open the door a bit more, gesturing for him to enter. Iida gladly takes the invitation and darts into your room. You sit back down on your bed, expecting him to do the same. However, Iida carefully stays standing, looking down at you. Silence starts to take its place in between the two of you, and you finally speak up.

“So, what is it you wanted to ask me?”

“U-uh, y-y-eah, right. I w-was just wondering if I could a-ask you a question about-”

He cuts himself off, almost as if choosing his follow-up words very carefully.

“A-about your… chest area.”

Now it’s your turn to blush, although not nearly as much as he is. At this point it looks like he’s melting from sweat.

“Uh, yeah, you can, is something wrong?”

“N-no! I-it’s just that I w-w-was wondering i-if they work as… comfort. The tissue in breasts is noted to be much more flexible than average, and I assumed that would lead to them being s-softer than average, but does that mean that they hurt? I’d like to test my theory, o-of course not with my hands or anything! That would be extremely disrespectful and as Kirishima would say, ‘unmanly’, but maybe there’s… another way?”

It finally clicks.

“Iida, are you trying to lay on my boobs?”

“P-p-precisely.”

Laughing, you bring him over to lay down as he wanted, and unpause your show.

Katsuki Bakugou:

So we all unanimously agree this is an ass man, right?

If we’re all in agreement, I’ll continue.

But yeah, Bakugou just screams ass man.

He always has a hand in your back pocket when you go places, or stares at your ass when you’re wearing shorts (or even when you aren’t-)

Just like Iida, it’s jiggle physics, astounding.

He’ll buy you clothes that are specifically to show off your ass-

You get ready in your outfit, Bakugou wanting to take you to a new restaurant close to campus. It wasn’t anywhere fancy, just a sushi place, so you didn’t get dolled up or anything, just some leggings and one of Bakugou’s hoodies. You call over to Bakugou, checking if he’s ready to go, and when both of you have your shoes on, you take off to try some sushi.

Upon arriving at the restaurant, Bakugou instinctively goes to put his hand in your back pocket, something he always does when you’re out. However, you opted to wear leggings, something comfortable and easy to throw on.

“Y/N, back pocket, not there, what the fuck?”

“I didn’t wear jeans.”

“Well how is everyone supposed to know you’re mine?!”

“Babe, I’m wearing your hoodie.”

“Other people don’t know that’s my hoodie.

“Katsuki, your hand is literally on my ass.”

“Well you didn’t wear something with back pockets, where else am I supposed to put my hand?!?!”

Eijiro Kirishima:

t h i g h s

This man is the actual definition of a thigh man.

He lives for your soft thighs as opposed to his super muscular ones, you just balance him out perfectly, he loves you so much.

He loves laying on your thighs, in between your thighs, with his hand on your thighs, your thighs literally only exist to be perfect and for him.

Oh and the way certain pants compliment your thighs, he would literally buy you anything you want.

Constant thigh compliments, also little kisses on them.

You and Kirishima are just laying together in his dorm, you leaning on Kirishima's shoulder, watching videos pop up on Kirishimas For You Page. Suddenly, as if TikTok knew exactly who Kirishima was and what peaks his interest, a trend came up with a guy in between his girls thighs. Next video? Yep, a girl in between her girls thighs. As soon as the videos came up Kirishima looked at you with the biggest puppy dog eyes you or anyone else on Earth had ever seen.

“Babe! Pleaaaase???”

“Not right now, baby.”

“Y/N, I’m four times stronger than you, this isn’t really up for discussion anymore.”

“KIRI-”

Before you know it, Kirishima has pinned you face up on the bed, and laid his head in between your thighs, snuggled up like a little baby in a crib.

“Kiri, I want to have a blanket on my legs, y’know.”

“Then put one on, I can’t be suffocated by sheets if my breath is taken away by your beauty.”

He’s not budging, and will probably fall asleep like that.

Shoto Todoroki:

The next three boys are ‘magical answer number 4’ boys.

This, my friends, is a hand man.

Ah ah ah, hear me out. He loves comparing hand sizes because it makes him feel loved, no matter if your hand is bigger, smaller, or the exact same size, he just likes the feeling of bonding in a loving way.

He loves hand-holding and painting nails (yes, he lets you paint his nails, he also likes painting yours), little hand actions.

He absolutely adores tracing your hands, the outline and any scars, freckles, or crevices. He likes his hands traced as well.

It’s just such a sweet, innocent action.

You and Todoroki are just sitting in his dorm, eating cold soba he got dropped off at the house. You have little trays and are eating on his bed, just talking about whatever comes to mind. Suddenly, Todoroki finds a fitting topic he wants to talk about.

“Your hands are really nice.”

It’s a weird thing to come up with out of the blue, so you just casually dismiss it, a quick ‘thank you’, and more bites of food. Todoroki isn’t really ok with you just ending the conversation like that though, so he takes a more forward approach.

“Y/N, can I hold your hand?”

“Shoto, I need my hands to eat.”

“No, you only need one hand.”

Realizing you aren’t gonna win this battle, you slowly place your hand near him, which he swoops in and takes almost immediately. He starts tracing the outline and shape of your hand, then your wrist, then any scars or freckles, then any little crack or crevice in your hand, sometimes going over your knuckles.

“Shoto, are you going to eat your food or just look at my hands all day?”

“My food will be fine, not like it’s going to get cold, it’s cold soba.”

Yeah, he goes for the later of your suggestions.

Izuku Midoriya:

Ass? Nah. Titty? Nah. Thigh? Nah.

Tummy.

Midoriya loves your stomach, no matter what it looks like, no matter the size, or if there’s scars there, it doesn’t matter.

He likes to pepper kisses all over your belly, and holds you around your waist whenever he can.

He likes laying on your stomach, and falling asleep like that (more than he likes to admit-)

It’s just a beautiful thing, and he loves your belly so much.

You decided to wait for Midoriya in his dorm to surprise him, he went out training today, so you thought it would be nice to see him when he gets back, even if he is tired and desperately needs a shower. Finally, when he’s half an hour late and you’re about to call him to make sure he’s ok and safe, Midoriya stumbles through the door and into his dorm, where you lay on his bed, patiently waiting for his arrival.

“‘Zuku, you’re back, finally! I was getting worried.”

“Y-Y/N! Hey! Y-you should’ve told me you were here, I would’ve finished training faster.”

“Oh, it’s ok!”

Midoriya walks over to his bed, and, exhausted from training, gently flops onto his bed, placing his head on your belly.

“Um, baby, do you want me to move so you can lay on the bed and not… on me?”

“Hm? No reason to, I’ve got my favorite pillow right here, u-unless this bothers you! Then I can totally get up and relocate.”

“No no no, it’s fine, Izuku. Just go to sleep, you’re probably tired from training for such a long time.”

Midoriya gently closes his eyes, and you carefully play with his hair, petting it every so carefully, like it’s a glass vase tilting on an uneven surface, a wrong move and everything breaks. After a while, you hear soft snores coming from your boyfriend, and decide it’s probably best if you fall asleep too.

Hitoshi Shinso:

Kind of a stretch, hear me out.

Eyes man.

This man absolutely loves your eyes. No matter the color, shape, whatever, he just loves eyes.

How they seem to light up when you’re excited, and how they look in that one specific kind of sunlight that makes the whole world shine like gold and bronze.

He loves holding eye contact and doing your eye makeup, even if it looks bad.

Eyes are the gateway to the soul, and Shinso strongly agrees with that.

You and Shino are out at the park. The sun hasn’t quite started setting, but it will soon, in about a half-hour. Shinsou took you out to have a picnic, where he bought ramen noodles and cake and sushi for you guys to eat. Unbeknownst to you, he also brought black eyeliner, makeup remover, and a little gold eye makeup product. Granted, he had no idea how to use them, but maybe today he could learn. After you’ve both eaten, the sun is starting to set, making the whole world almost as beautiful as you, he whips out the cosmetics and explains his plan.

“Y/N, I want to try doing your eye makeup. Can I?”

It takes a good amount of time to process his request, but you agree and let him give it a shot. Laying down, he carefully crawls on top of you, pulls out the eyeliner, and focuses only on your eyes. As much as he wants to pay attention to the eyeliner applicator, for a brief moment he gets caught up in how beautiful your eyes look in the light, and slips up.

“Shit, I messed up.”

“It’s ok! Just take some makeup remover on a Q-Tip and try again, babe.”

After a couple slip ups, he finally gets the eyeliner and the little gold shimmer on your eyes, and brings you up to your feet so you’re both standing.

“Wow, you look incredible.”

“Thank you, Shinso, you look great too.”

He pecks your cheek, packs up the picnic, and you two are on your merry way, Shinso excited to look at your eyes again and again, grateful to call you his significant other.

[dcbicki]

holding my breath for you (crowd my grave)

A Rick/Harley fix-it fic • Chapter 1/?

To say he’s surprised to see Harley Quinn standing in the doorway of his shabby, middle-of-nowhere motel, in shredded jean shorts and heart-rimmed sunglasses, would be a serious fucking understatement. And it’s not because it’s one o’clock in the morning and the sun went down hours ago.

“How the hell did you find me?”

She shrugs, picking at a long thread on her jacket, “I know people.”

Rating: T/M • Characters: Harley Quinn, Rick Flag, and mentions of others • Read on AO3 or below the cut

“I think I just walked in on someone screwin’ a goat.”

To say he’s surprised to see Harley Quinn standing in the doorway of his shabby, middle-of-nowhere motel, in shredded jean shorts and heart-rimmed sunglasses, would be a serious fucking understatement. And it’s definitely not because it’s one o’clock in the goddamn morning and the sun went down hours ago.

“How the hell did you find me?”

The blonde shrugs, picking at a long thread on her jacket. “I know people.”

“Better people than mine, apparently,” Rick rasps, and he runs a hand through damp hair. Thankfully he’d managed to trade in the towel for sweatpants before she’d started pounding on the door. “So much for flying under Waller’s radar.”

“Nah, you’re good,” Harley says, and the sunglasses slide down the bridge of her nose when she dips her head to shoot him a devilish look, single brow raising, “I promise she don’t know I’m here.” Suddenly there’s a hand in his face and she’s wiggling her right pinkie finger as if that'll prove anything.

She taps one foot against the carpeted floor then, toe of her boot crossing the threshold, and Rick has decided she reminds him of a vampire; one covered in sparkles and tattoos with a pink, fluffy duffle-bag dangling from her fingertips, but a bloodsucker all the same. “Ya gonna invite a girl in or what?”

“You plan on telling me what you’re doin’ here first?” he asks, but then he’s moving out of the way so she can duck under his arm and enter. Harley breezes past him, tossing her bag somewhere across the room, and she plops herself down into the old, worn leather seat by the television. There’s some Spanish soap opera playing to itself on the screen.

“Mi casa es su casa… and all that.” Flag grumbles, pulling the door to a close behind her—but not before shooting a quick look out over her shoulder towards the parking lot. He locks it, then turns and presses his back up against it, hands on his hips.

“You can stop looking so constipated, Flag, I told ‘ya. I’m off the grid myself these days.” She taps the side of her neck twice. “The old dragon lady ain’t coming for either of us.”

“Right.” A nod, then, “Dubois told me about that.” The deal. The squad forcing Waller to meet them halfway and offer freedom in exchange for silence.

(He hadn’t exactly been shocked to find out Dubois was still in possession of the drive. It was a smart move; not the best one, or the right one, and it was a far cry from the one Rick had fucking died trying to pull, but not everybody lived by a code of honor. He couldn’t blame the rest of the team for following suit.)

“Milton knew?! He knew where you were this whole time and didn’t tell me? That mother fucka!” She grits her teeth, nails strumming atop the television cabinet.

(He doesn’t ask about Milton. It’d probably be a long, convoluted story and he’s not exactly in the mood for one of Harley Quinn and her gift of gab. Not that he has much of a choice right now...)

“Now you wanna tell me what you’re doin’ here?”

Ignoring him, Harley takes in her surroundings, chewed-end of her plastic sunglasses between her teeth as she eyes the dingy room. It’s cramped for sure, dull magnolia paint is chipping off the walls, and there’s a queen-sized bed with crumpled up grey sheets and three flat pillows, a sign of recent use. Odd number, Harley notes. Would four kill them?

The little washroom is beside the dresser, and there’s a towel hanging from the bathroom doorknob, wet footprints still clear on the tiled floor. It’s only then that she looks up and realizes he’s shirtless. Oh.

“This place got food? I could so do with a burrito right about now.”

(A place this rundown probably doesn’t even have a cleaning crew, much less any other kind of service. Although, there was half a pack of mints beside the sink when Rick first rented the room so does that count?)

(He’s not ashamed to say he finished them off.)

“I got whiskey and half an eggroll, that do ‘ya?” Rick quips, and there’s a smirk starting on his lips.

He’s still waiting for an explanation as to why the hell she’s here, how the hell she’s here, and what the fuck she thinks she’s doing by checking up on him in the first place. He’s supposed to be laying low—supposed to be dead—and she’s supposed to be free. Or at least as free as someone like her can get, which probably isn’t very free at all.

But there’s something off about her whole demeanor, something decidedly un-Harley, and the man can’t help but feel like he’s just waiting for something. Whether it’s one of Waller’s goons bursting through the door, or Harley herself finishing the job or, hell, Harley breaking down (and God, he hopes it’s not that), he’s not sure. He’s not great with emotions. And she’s without a doubt the most expressive person he’s ever had the (dis)pleasure of knowing.

“Hi, Harley. You know, I’m doing pretty good after havin’ my heart practically ripped apart by a fuckin’ toilet seat. How ‘bout you?” She lowers her voice as if to match the bass in his own and goddamnit he finds it charming.

(He doesn’t have the heart to correct her.)

“You know, a little heads-up that you weren’t DOA might’ve been nice, Colonel.”

“Wasn’t exactly high on my priority list,” he informs her, voice dipping as he nods, slow. “Staying alive kinda won that round. You know, ‘cause of the shit jammed in my chest.”

“They said it came out the other side, ‘ya know. My guys. Wanted to see for myself.” She stands up then and walks to him until she’s about four inches away from his face, taking in the long gash above when his heart lies. “I’m thinkin’ they lied though because that don’t look too deep to me.”

“Yep. Not much to see.” He shrugs, heavy as though there’s weight on his shoulders, casting a glance down at his chest when she raises a hand. She doesn’t touch him; just lets her fingers dance in the air above the skin. “Sorry to disappoint, Doc.”

The scar runs right down the middle of his chest. From left collarbone to navel; a rushed surgery in a (probably, totally) sketchy makeshift hospital. It’s not a good look. But she’s seen worse. “It’s healin’ just fine. I’m getting plenty of fluids and I’m takin’ my meds. Think you can be on your way now you’ve done your check-up.”

“I thought you died.”

“False alarm.”

“You died,” Harley repeats, and there’s an edge to her voice Rick doesn’t recognize. She moves from one foot onto the other, swaying back and forth on her heels, eyes unmoving from off of his chest. “And I didn’t even get a goodbye out of it.”

“Was I…” he pauses, considers the look on her face for a moment. “Apologies.”

“That’s not good enough.”

“The fuck you want me to do? Go back in time and tell him to wait so you can make it about you first?”

“Just think it’s kinda rude for one of my friends to go off and die and leave me alone like that.”

“Tad dramatic, don’t you think?” Rick asks before remembering who he’s dealing with. Harley Quinn is theatrical and melodramatic and showy. Of course, she’d turn this into a whole fucking thing. “You’re a grown ass woman with a criminal record and probably a couple dozen bounties on your head, I think you can handle getting on a plane without a handler.”

She stops swaying. But the look on her face is ice cold and calculating and if he didn’t know her any better, he might be slightly terrified. So this is the infamous killer queen, huh? She wouldn’t hurt him. Maybe once upon a time, a few years back, but not now. Not after… “You’re supposed to be the leader.”

“You had Dubois.”

“But not you. And I know Milton’s a fine leader an’ all, but he’s not exactly a great conversationalist. Or much of a hugger.”

“I ain’t either.”

“But you humour me. ‘Ya put the effort in, Flag.” The blonde pokes his chest, manicured and pale fingernail against his sternum, skin hot to the touch. “And no one else is gonna do that for me, so yeah, I’m kinda mad that you went and got your heart broken into little tiny pieces and didn’t think to let me know you weren’t buried under a fuckload of concrete. Not very friendly of you.”

“And since when are we friends?”

There’s a silence then, and now he’s reconsidering not showing any signs of fear. He’s in no position to fight her. Harley is… Well, one kick and it’d be lights out for Flag.

(Since Waller forced her to take swimming lessons with a mean, ‘It’s a basic life skill, Ms. Quinn. No one else is going to have your back out there'  and he made sure he was her assigned instructor. Even brought her a cute two-tone bathing suit that wasn’t Belle Reve-approved and all. Since everyone in Gotham decided they wanted Harley Quinn six feet under and he let her crash on his couch that one time—those three times—and he made her bacon and eggs in the morning. And he didn’t even get mad when she got ketchup all over his carpet. Since she got drunk that second time and kissed him out of loneliness and he never held it against her.)

“Whatever,” she backs away from him with a huff, but her eyes are still dark; a sure sign that she’s not happy. “I’m starving.”

“There’s a place around the corner.”

“Aces,” she grins, then picks up a discarded shirt from the foot of the bed and tosses it to him.

    There’s no mention of her getting her own room. It goes unspoken: she’ll be staying here with him.

“Not sayin’ this is better than sex, but it’s definitely better than a lot of the sex I’ve had lately.”

“Good for you,” Rick retorts, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He glances around the restaurant. There’s only one other patron in there aside from them, and the chef is off somewhere in the back. He glances down at his watch, then fists the napkin in his other hand.

“Am I keeping you up?” Harley jests, curling her legs up beneath her on the stool. It squeaks under her weight, one of the metal legs unevenly balanced on the patterned tiles. “Got plans I’m disruptin’?” She clicks her tongue, a devilish grin in full swing.

“Nope. Just rest ‘n recuperation, right, Doc? That your diagnosis?”

“Prognosis,” she corrects him, then drops the rest of her tinfoil-wrapped burrito onto the little round table, a thin layer of grime coating the surface. “And yes,” Harley says with a light nod,  putting on her best matter-of-factly voice. She feigns pushing glasses up her nose, head tipping back to look down at him for a change. He’s leaning against the table with his forearms crossed, tanned skin pressing against the greasy tabletop as his sharp chin rests on a curved wrist. “Sleep and that bottle of bourbon my little eye spied hiding under ‘ya bed will do the trick just fine, Colonel,” she says cheerily.

He nods, only half-listening. “Can’t wait.”

“You could smile every once in a while, ‘ya know. I came all the way to Ti-fuckin’-juana to make sure you weren’t rotting away and letting yourself go in some ol’ shitshack. Would a little appreciation for the thought go amiss?”

“I didn’t ask you to,” the man tells her, leaning back in his chair. He clasps both hands in his lap. “Matter of fact, I’m still wondering why you did. What’s the deal, you get bored running from the feds for a change? Didn’t think you tired so easily.”

“What if I just missed you, huh? ‘Ya consider that possibility, soldier?” She pushes her hands out, her chair scraping back against the floor again. Harley picks up the rest of her food, casting him a dark look. “You’re no fun.”

“Never have been, Harley, that shouldn’t be news.” He follows after her, rushing to keep the door from swinging back in his face when she exits the restaurant in what he can only assume is anger. Or maybe she’s just messing with him; truthfully, it’s hard to tell sometimes. “You’re not exactly a ray of sunshine yourself, you know.”

“I am a delight,” she says, whipping around to face him, palm flat against her chest. The many rings on her fingers tap against her necklaces, and she stares up at him with furrowed brows. “Everybody loves me.”

“Pretty sure that’s not true, either.”

“OK, well not everybody hates me, how’s about that?” The scowl on her face turns into a smile then, teeth-baring and wicked. Her eyes are blown wide like saucers, and the crimson lipstick on her mouth suddenly becomes the only thing Rick can focus on that isn’t… Doesn’t...  Deranged, he thinks.

Harley Quinn is an absolute basket case and he must be out of his fucking mind for finding her so damn… what? Fascinating? It’s as close as he can get to thinking of a word to describe her that isn’t derogatory. She’s a character and a half, a whole clown car full of crazy jam-packed into one tatted and made-up doll of a woman, but God help him if he doesn’t kind of want to--

“That’s more like it.” She’s probably hard to love, but she’s not easy to hate.

Rick smiles back, finally, then reaches out a hand—tentatively. She’s still her and he’s never a hundred percent certain she won’t slit his throat with a Hello Kitty keyring or something—and wiggles long fingers. “Wanna get drunk and watch god awful late-night television?” He leans down; not too close, not close enough for her to grab, and adds, “Friend?”

Whatever that thing was he’d been waiting for, that unidentifiable something he’d felt looming over them since she showed up in his doorway an hour ago, looking somehow both tired and elated, finally revealed itself; in the form of tears in Harley’s eyes and a shaky hand accepting his.

She nodded and excitedly said ‘yes!’ and then he realized all she’d been after was a friend; the comfort of knowing that there was someone in the world who wasn’t out to get her, who had nothing to gain by being good to her.

And she’d almost lost that. Lost him.

(So when she hogs two of the three pillows on his bed and helps herself to one of his shirts—his favorite, actually. An old wife-beater with torn sleeves and a faded wildcat on the front—Rick doesn’t say a thing. Just lets her curl up in a ball beside him, red tips brushing against his bare shoulder, and rest.)

[dalamjisung]

messing with my head ❀ im jaebeom

word count: 6515

genre: hospital!au, fluff

pairing: neurosurgeon!jaebeom x baker!reader

description: he always care for everyone, but no once cares for him. until you show up. 

It’s a condition in which there is an over-accumulation of fluid in the brain… surgery for a shunt… potential brain damage… some complications can occur… if not, he’ll live a normal, happy life… timely surgery… fatal. 

                                                                ————————

The day your little brother was born was the happiest day of your life. Eight years ago, little Taehyung gave you a sense of purpose. You were now a big sister– you had someone to love and protect. You had someone to teach, and someone to learn from. As a daughter, you might not have been the best; you rebelled and partied for a while; insisted on bad decision; hung out with the wrong people. But that all changed once you turned 16, and Taehyung turned one. You still remember the moment that the change happened. It was his birthday, and he looked as tiny as ever in his little overalls and fuzzy socks. Just as you were about to blow out the candles for him, he giggles and points his chubby finger at you.

“Y/N!” He screeches, laughter following. “Y/N! Y/N!”

Your mother looks at you, eyes wide and tearful. “That’s right, Taehyung-ie, that’s your noona, Y/N.”

“Y/N!” He screams again and wiggles out of your father’s grasp, crawling to you. 

You pick him up, hugging your little brother close. Tears fall on his head and you let out a gurgled laugh, allowing your parents to hug their children. After that day– the day that Taehyung’s first word was you,– you promised to be better. For your parents, for Taehyung, for yourself. It was time for improvement. You started looking for part-time jobs, stopped hanging out with those bad people, and only attended parties every once in a while. You were lucky your grades never slipped, so you kept up with your studies easily. 

One day, after school, you were walking back home with a friend when you passed by a small, white bakery. No name, no advertisement, nothing but a small we sell delicious baked goods! on the window.

“You go ahead,” You tell your friend as you walk to the bakery. “I’m gonna check this out.”

“I’ll go with you,” Hyejin says, smiling. “Moral support and all.”

Out of all your friends, Hyejin is the only one you knew to be real– she was unforgivingly herself, and you admired that a lot. She’s always been by your side, supporting you and calling you out on your shit. Her friendship is one you’ll never give up on. 

You two walk in, arm in arm, and initially you see no one, but then you hear a pained grunting from behind the counter and you lean over, looking at an elderly woman trying to carry a box that was visibly too have for her. 

“Let me help you, ma’am,” You smile, walking around the counter and easily picking the box up. “Where shall I put this?”

“Ah, thank you so much,” She says smiling, and once you notice how her eyes almost disappear under such bright and wide smile, you feel something inside of you telling that you belong in that place. “I’m getting too old for this…”

“Not at all,” You joke. “I just eat a lot, so I’m freakishly strong.”

She laughs at that and you already feel oddly fond of that woman. 

“You remind me a lot of my grandson, young lady,” She says and start moving around, grabbing things; first a plate, then a cup. “Sit over there, sweetie, I’ll get you and your friend something to eat.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” Hyejin says, smiling kindly. 

“Please, let me do at least that,” She says, and you two sit down, keeping an eye in case she needed any more help. She brings you two pieces of cake and iced tea, and you are sure you saw stars when you took the first bite, humming in appreciation. “Ah, I’m going to miss this– the look on your faces just made my day…”

“Are you leaving, ma’am?” You ask frowning in disappointment. You had just found out about this place…

“Unfortunately, I might have to close the bakery,” She sighs, looking down at her feet. “I’ve been running this place for almost forty years, with some help here and there, but now I’m old, and I can’t do the things as fast and efficiently as I used to.”

“Have you been working here by yourself, ma’am?” Hyejin frowns.

“My grandson used to help me when he was in high school,” She smiles proudly. “I had to practically kick him out of here so that he’d go to college… but ever since, it’s been just me.” “Let me work here.”

The request comes out fast and strong and you think that’s what makes the owner consider, looking you up and down.

“And why would a young, beautiful girl like you want to work with an old woman like me?” She laughs, dusting her hands in her dress. “You should be enjoying your youth, little girl.”

“Done that already,” You smile, following after her with your used plates and cups. “I want to help my parents. I want to be a good daughter. And I want to be happy while doing so. Let me work here… please.”

“What makes you think you’ll be happy here? Look around you, sweetheart; this place is run down. Customers barely come, anymore, and all I have left are my recipes and good memories. I can’t pay you much, and it’s a very time consuming job, I don’t thi–”

“I don’t care about the pay,” You smile, leaning over the counter. “Ma’am, this place is incredible. My mother’s been backing ever since I was born, so I know a thing or two. I see how happy she is when she’s baking and I see how happy you look in here… I’m sorry if I sound crazy, but please. Let me work here. I can come everyday after school, and even before if you need help prepping ingredients and–”

She raises her hand, silencing you in the process. She has a stern face, observing you. Your smile falters.

“I’m sorry,” You mumble, suddenly embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to press you or disrespect you.”

“Crazy,” She says, squinting. “Might just be what I need… can you start tomorrow?”

And that’s how it all begun. 

                                                               ————————

Seven years after that, you now manage Sweet Dreams alongside Ms. Im. At first, your parents were a little unsure about you working at the bakery, afraid that you’d not handle the weight of school and work very well, but you proved them wrong with each day that passed, improving not only your grades, but also helping out at the house. They refuse to let you help with expanses and told you to put all your paychecks in a saving account, so that you could go to college comfortably. You are now 23 and although you have plans for college one day, you just can’t seem to leave Ms. Im and the bakery behind. The amount of work you put into the place made it your home; you named it, painted it, fixed some of it. Ms. Im has been your mentor ever since you were sixteen and leaving her behind would be like leaving family– and you’d never leave your family. 

Especially not right now.

“How’s the little guy?” Ms. Im asks as you arrive, the sky outside still dark. You had to start prepping the ingredients and baked goods early in the morning, waking up before the sun and observing as it rises along with your cakes. 

“Sleeping a lot still,” You mumble, sounding as worried as you feel. “He complains about headaches all the time and he’s always sick… I’m really worried about him.”

“Are your parents working today?” Ms. Im asks just as you are about to put your apron on. 

“Yeah,” You sigh, suddenly getting a headache yourself. “He’s with grandpa right now, and we think that Advil has been helping, but we can’t keep pushing it much further… it’s been four days already.”

“Take that apron off,” Ms. Im demands and you do it without questioning. “We’re not opening the shop today.”

“What?” You shriek. “But Friday is one of our busiest days!”

“And one of the mellow days at the hospital,” She winks. “Let’s go, I’m driving you.”

“Ms. Im,” You follow her outside, shivering as you haven’t had the time to even put your jacket on. “I can take Taehyung myself, you don’t have to bother, really!”

“You walked into my shop seven years ago begging for a job,” Ms. Im says as she starts driving to your house. “Not only I gained a reliable worker, but I gained a daughter. Now stop complaining; Taehyung can’t see his sister freaking out like that.”

“Thank you,” You smile, wiping a few stray tears away. “Thank you so much.”

“No problem, dear,” She chuckles. “I promise it will be quick– if I’m not wrong, he’s still at the hospital doing an early shift.”

“Who?” You ask.

“My grandson.”

In seven years of working for Ms. Im, you are pretty sure you’ve heard about her grandson at least twice a day. She is incredibly proud of him; he went from a trouble maker to a very successful doctor, it’s all you remember. You are not sure what he does exactly, but you always noticed the tinge of sadness in her voice when she talked about him. In seven year, you heard about him everyday; but in seven years, you’ve never seen him at the shop. 

“Go get the kid,” Ms. Im says pulling up to your house. “I’ll wait here.”

You manage to not wake up you grandfather in the process, but you make sure to leave a note in the fridge telling him that you’re taking your brother to the hospital. 

“Where are we going?” Taehyung asks, groaning as you pick him up from his bed.

“Where going to the hospital, baby,” You say soothingly. “Remember how I went to see a nice doctor when I was in pain and then I felt good? I’m going to take you to see a nice doctor, too.”

“Okay,” Taehyung says and lays his head on your shoulder, drifting back to sleep. 

You text your parents from the car and you promise to keep them updated in case they have to go to the hospital too. Ms. Im parks the car and guides you through the maze that is the hospital, walking as if she owned the place. Some doctors stopped to say hello but she’d keep walking, marching with a purpose, almost. 

“Ms. Im,” You plead, looking around nervously. “We have to get in line, or maybe talk to a nurse, I don’t think we–“

“Ya!” She shouts, waving her small arms above her head and getting everyone’s attention. “Yugyeom!”

If you could hide, you would; but at the same time, you’d never been more thankful towards her, who’s done so much for you as it is. A tall doctor looks around, looking for the source of the ruckus, and he smiles widely when he sees her, jogging his way over. 

“Halmoni!” He shouts and hugs her tightly.

So this is him?, you think to yourself, holding Taehyung tightly against yourself. Is this the famous grandson?

“Y/N,” Ms. Im calls. “This is Yugyeom. Or Dr. Kim, as he is known around here. He is one of the best pediatricians in the city, so I am sure he can help. He’s friends with my boy.”

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you,” He smiles gently. “Who’s that little guy?”

“Oh!” As if you have just awaken from a trance, you bow to him as best as you can while holding your brother. “It’s nice to meet you too; I’m sorry for the sudden visit, Doctor, but–“

“Will the nice doctor help me?” Taehyung asks, looking at the tall man. 

“Yes, I will,” Yugyeom smiles. “What’s your name?”

“Taehyung,” He yawns, and then raises both his hands, putting down both his thumbs. “And I’m eight.”

“Ah, you’re a big guy already,” Dr. Kim says. “Follow me, please. We can talk better in my office.”

While Taehyung played with an alien stuffed doll, you explained the situation to Dr. Kim Yugyeom; your brother has been sleeping a lot these days, and complaining of headaches and dizziness. He’s been sick and crying and you are desperate. 

“Ah,” Dr. Kim’s face changes and he looks almost in pain. His brows are furrowed and he looks at Taehyung with worry. “Would you mind if I called a colleague here? I want a second opinion on something and he might have a better understanding of it than me…”

“Oh, yes, of course,” You mumble, hands fidgeting. 

Ms. Im stands by your side, and she puts a hand on top of yours, silently promising support. She’s been there for your first heartbreak; she’s been by your side through arguments, and fights, and birthdays, and celebrations. The fact that she is with you in that moment made things less hard; it made you believe that everything would be okay. 

“Excuse me,” Someone calls from the door. “Hello, I’m Dr. I–“

“Ya, Im Jaebeom, you ungrateful child!” Ms. Im shouts and you jump from your seat a little, surprised with the outburst. “Do I have to come all the way over here and bother your friends to finally see you?”

Ah, you think, holding a chuckle back. This is him. 

The man blinks, lost and confused, before smiling wide. That was the confirmation you needed– the way his eyes disappear under his wide smile was exactly the same as Ms. Im.

“Grandma!” He hugs her tight. “I’m sorry, halmoni, things have been crazy here in the hospital…”

“You could’ve called,” She pouts and hugs him back. “But we’ll talk about that another time. Dr. Kim called you here for another reason.”

“Is everything okay?” He asks, looking at his grandmother. “Are you eating properly? Do you have any joint pain? Backache?”

“I’m strong as a bull, child,” She laughs. “It’s Y/N that needs your help.”

You respectfully bow to him. “Nice to meet you, Dr. Im. I’m Y/N, and this is Taehyung.”

He looks at you and bows back. Dr. Im Jaebeom looks a little taken aback and you move uncomfortably under his gaze, bringing your brother closer. 

“So you are the crazy girl that my grandmother talks so much about,” He says, and there is a certain something in his voice that you just can’t seem to grasp– an edge that made you shiver. “What can I help you with?”

“It’s the boy,” Dr. Kim says in a soft voice. “He’s only eight and he’s been experiencing strong headaches. He sleeps a lot and is always dizzy and sick… all symptoms seem to add to hydrocephalus, but I wanted to consult with you before diagnosing him. Can you take a look?”

“Of course,” Dr. Im moves quickly and efficiently, crouching in front of Taehyung. “Hi there, buddy– would you mind if I touched your head really quick?”

The consultation goes by quick and you don’t understand any of it; they talk in medical terms and when they finally take the time to talk to you, your brother is already being admitted to the hospital. You numbly sign all the necessary paperwork and when you come back to your senses, you are standing outside of Taehyung’s room, and Dr. Im is moving his lips, but you can’t hear a thing.

“I’m sorry,” You sigh, frustrated. “Can you repeat that? I don’t know what happened, I just– I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

He frowns and you feel like hiding again. His gaze is burning on your skin and can only wonder how dumb he must think you are.

“Sure,” He clears hi throat. “Taehyung-ie has a condition called hydrocephalus, in which the over-accumulation of cerebrospinal fluid inside the skull causes pressure on the brain. This is why he is having headaches and dizziness. When did this start?”

“Around four days ago,” You choke on your words. “Is it dangerous? Can you treat him?”

“All conditions have potential to be dangerous, but you did good in bringing him here as early as you could,” Dr. Im says, nodding to himself. “Unfortunately, this is not something that just goes away with time, nor something that can be medicated. The only solution is surgery.”

“Surgery?” You whimper, letting your shoulders fall in defeat. “What is the success rates of this surgery, Doctor?”

“The shunt surgery has a higher success rate for children,” He explain carefully. “But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have risks. Because we will insert a shunt inside of him to help with the circulation of the fluid accumulated in his head, things like shunt failure or infection can happen, but that’s why we’ll keep him in the hospital for an observation period.”

You nod, processing everything he’s telling you. 

“Alright,” You whisper. “Okay. What are the next steps?”

“You’ll have to go to the Financial office to talk about the expenses,” As he talked, you could only fixate your eyes on the embroidery of his coat. Im Jaebeom. “We’ll schedule the surgery for tomorrow. The sooner we do this, the better. We only need his mother to sign the consent form.”

He extends some papers and a pen towards you and you look back at him, suddenly at a loss of words. 

“I… uh, I-I’m not his mother,” You smile tightly. “I’m him older sister.”

“Oh, I apologize, I assumed that–“

“Haven’t I raised you right, Im Jaebeom?” Ms. Im asks, coming with two cups of coffee in hand, and you frown alongside her grandson. “Never assume… tsk, for a doctor he is really stupid, isn’t he, Y/N?”

You chuckle. “You must think we’re all idiots here if you intend on drinking that coffee, Ms. Im. You know it’s not good for you!”

She laughs. “This is for you two,” She gives one to Jaebeom and the other to you. “To keep up the energy.”

“When my parents arrive I’ll ask my mother to sign the papers,” You turn to the doctor, still too intimidated to look him in the eyes. “They should be here soon, so you can schedule the surgery for tomorrow.”

You don’t even see him leaving, allowing your body to fall on a waiting chair. You are not sure if you fell asleep or simply gave up, but when you open your eyes again, you are on the couch inside your brother’s room.

                                                               ————————

Taehyung was prepped for surgery and you couldn’t even look. You held his tiny hand, but your eyes were fixated on Dr. Im Jaebeom’s. He looked at you as intensely as you looked at him, and although you had a weird feeling that this man hated you, his piercing eyes on yours were the only thing holding you together. You couldn’t cry in front of Taehyung, and you couldn’t cry in front of Dr. Im. Simple as that. 

“We’ll take him now,” One of the nurses tell you and you nod, walking behind them and behind Ms. Im and her grandson. You feel alone at that moment, with your parents supporting each other, with the Im’s chatting together, and with your little man going into surgery. He’s the one that walks with you, and you feel as if you failed him. 

Dr. Im turns around and looks at you. “The surgery will last from about an hour to two hours. If it takes a bit longer, don’t worry, it just means that we’re doing our best to make everything right. I prefer to take my time and have a successful surgery than to rush things. A nurse will keep you updated so that you are aware of everything that’s happening in there.”

“Take care of him,” You say, voice strong, surprising everyone. “Or I will kill you.”

And for the first time, you’ve seen Im Jaebeom smile at you. You mother slaps your shoulder, but you ignore the sting, maintaining eye contact.

“We’ll do our best,” He says chuckling. “That is all I can promise you.”

“That’s all I need,” You say and nod at him. “Thank you, Doctor.”

You are not sure what happens in between, but Dr. Im comes out through the doors and in your head only thirty minutes passed; instantly you are washed with dread. You try to stand up but your legs give out and you’d be on the floor if not for his reflexes.

“My brother,” You breath out, frantically looking into his eyes as he tries to talk to you. “Taehyung-ie– is he okay? That was too fast, it was too quick– what happened? Dr. Im–“

“The surgery took two hours and he’s perfectly fine,” Dr. Im says, frowning deeply. Is he always frowning?, you wonder as he drags you to the nearest chair. “Taehyung is doing fine; he’s still asleep because of the anesthesia, but he’s under observation and he’s safe.”

“Thank you,” You whisper, starting to cry. You slouch your shoulders forward and burry your face on your hands. “Thank you so much, oh my god, thank you Dr. Im.”

“Y/N,” He calls, pulling your face up. He looks at your eyes, puts a hand on your forehead, and frowns even more. “Are you feeling okay? You look like you’ve been in and out of reality for the past two days… you feel warm.”

“I’m good,” You smile. “Just haven’t eaten in a while. I’ll do it as soon as I see my brother.”

“No, stay here for a second,” He says and leaves with long strides.

He’s okay, you think to yourself, trying to stop the tears. Taehyung is okay. Pull yourself together, Y/N.

“Drink this,” Dr. Im puts a cup on your hand and gives you an energy bar. “And eat this.”

“What about you?” 

His eyes widened. “I-I’ll eat something later…”

Is he embarrassed?

“You have to eat, too, Doctor, you look worn out,” You smile. “You care about everyone, but yourself, huh?”

“Yah,” He laughs, and you chuckle with him, suddenly feeling your energy coming back although you didn’t eat yet. “You sound just like my grandmother.”

“Well, she did mentor me for seven years,” You shrug your shoulders, with a fond look on your face. “Your grandmother means a lot to me…”

“The fact that you took care of her all these years means a lot to me,” He admits, looking slightly guilty. “After I left to go to medical school, I couldn’t come back and check on her as often as I wanted. Then one day she called me, and she told me about this crazy, beautiful girl, who begged her for a job in her run down bakery and… well, I worried for a while, because she did say the girl was crazy, but then she tells me how good this girl is, how kind, and I know I can stop worrying all the time. I know she’s not alone… I might have been jealous, sometimes, I’ll admit, but thank you, Y/N. For everything you’ve done for my halmoni.”

You are at a loss of words. For someone who looks so cold and collected to sound so emotional and true was a shock. 

“I am the one that should be thanking you,” You chuckle incredulously. “You saved my brother’s live.”

“But that’s my job,” He smiles, looking to the floor and then looking back at you. It is almost as if all the air in your lungs disappeared, and you suddenly don’t know how to breath. “Taking care of my grandmother is not your job.”

Before you can say something his phone beeps and he gets up.

“Taehyung is awake,” He smiles and did he always have those moles under his eyebrow? “Let’s go.”

You let him guide you through the halls and you wonder if anyone cares for this doctor that cares for everyone else but him. 

                                                               ————————

“You should go home,” Dr. Im says. It’s been two days since the surgery and you were the only one that hasn’t left the hospital yet. One of the nurses was kind enough to let you shower in their bathroom, but had to admit, just showering wasn’t doing much. You’ve been wearing the same clothes and even your parents went home to sleep, but you refused to leave once they got back to the hospital. 

“I don’t want to leave without him,” You mumble, caressing Taehyung’s hand as he sleeps. “I promised I wouldn’t.”

He nods. “Follow me, then,” And leaves.

You have to jog a bit to catch up to him, but soon enough you are in his office, and from behind his desk, he produces a duffle bag. Grabbing a few things, he gives them to you and tells you to go take a long, relaxing shower. Doing as he says, you take your time, asking a few nurses if it’s okay to take a shower since they are only starting their shifts and won’t need the shower for a while. You’ve become acquainted with a few of them and they all give you the okay. The sweatpants and t-shirt he gave you are obviously too large for you, but you like the way it looks anyways. Smiling at yourself, and at how stupid you must look, you stop by the vending machine to get a snack. You get two energy bars, knowing that Dr. Im will be with Taehyung when you get back. Said and done; Jaebeom is laughing at something that your brother is doing and you wonder if one day you’ll get to call him Jaebeom out loud. 

“Hello there,” You say lightly, blushing a little at the way Jaebeom looks at you in his clothes. “Thank you for the clothes, doctor.”

“No problem, Y/N,” He smiles, and you don’t fail to notice the redness in his cheeks. 

“I got you this,” You say giving him one of the energy bars, and putting the other in his pocket. “You need to eat to take care of other people.”

He laughs and one of his hands fly to push his hair back and grab at the back of his neck, a habit you notice he does whenever he’s embarrassed. “Thank you.”

“Eat it,” You squint at him playfully. “Right now.”

“I have to check on a patient,” He says taking a huge bite, finishing it almost in one go. “I’ll be back to check on you, okay?”

“Alright,” You smile, and you don’t call attention to the fact that he said he’d be checking on you. You like it. “See you later."

You don’t– see him later, that is. You are not sure what happens but Dr. Im doesn’t come around anymore; another day goes by and even Taehyung notices the change, asking for his doctor to the nurses. She all just say he’s busy taking care of other people, but there’s something off about them, too. One of them, Nurse Lee, asks you to follow her to the counter where you can sign the discharge papers so that you can finally take your brother home, and you hear a couple of other doctors talking.

“…yeah, they died,” A shiver runs through your spine with those words and you take a deep breath and focus on reading the papers in your hand. “Jaebeom did his best, but not everyone can be saved.”

“You know how he is though,” The other doctor sighs. “Is he alright?”

“No,” They shake their heads. “Definitely not.”

Signing everything, you tell the nurses you’ll be right back, and you run to the office you’ve gotten to know so well. During your brother’s recovery, Dr. Im has been you friend, you dare to say. You’ve silently eaten with him in his office as he did some work and you read a book; you’ve talked to him about his grandmother; you’ve taken snacks to his office late at night. It was your way to repay him, after everything he’s done for you and your family. You went from thinking he hated you, to understanding how hard his job is on him. And right now, it was exactly one of those moments, in which the harshness of his reality is laid upon him, and you can’t do anything but knock on his door and pray that he’ll open. 

“Yes?” 

His voice sounds harsh and used out. His eyes find yours instantly and they turn back into those scrutinizing eyes you first met.

“Hi,” You say, suddenly uncomfortable. “You didn’t come by yesterday and today and I–“

“I am too busy to attend just to you and your brother,” He snaps. “I have a whole lot of people needing me, too, you know?”

The coldness from his voice reminds you of the first time you met him, when you stood under his scrutinizing gaze. 

“Or do you think I have nothing better to do than to have to waste all of my time–“

“With me?” You interrupt him. “Just so you know, you didn’t have to spend your time with me, but I guess I should thank you, since you did, right?”

“Wha-“

“You don’t have to worry anymore, doctor,” You sneer. “We leave tonight. Here, this is a small thank you gift for wasting time with me.”

You give him the plastic bag with all snacks from the vending machine– literally all of them. It wasn’t much, but it would last him a few shifts, at least. All you wanted was for him to get better too; you weren’t dumb, you could easily see the suffering in his eyes, even at that moment– specially at that moment,– but you couldn’t just let him walk all over you like that. You had to stand your ground, like you did ever since you met him. 

“Whatever happened,” You say through gritted teeth. “It’s not your fault. Nor mine. Remember that.”

You leave him and you go back to Taehyung. 

Fuck Dr. Im, you think, furiously wiping a tear. It seems as if all you do is cry, and you are tired of it. I have Taehyung, alive and well. That should be enough.

                                                               ————————

Your days are back to normal– you wake up, check on Taehyung, and go to work, where you’ll spend hours and hours until you don’t have to spend any more time in there but you do still, baking a fresh batch of a different good every night, before calling the delivery man to take it away. 

Today, you make chocolate scones, using Ms. Im’s recipe just how she taught you years ago.

“Still baking?” She asks. “Is something wrong?”

“Not at all,” You smile, and put a scone in a take away box. “Here, for the trip.”

“Thank you, dear,” She smiles. “These used to be Jaebeom’s favorite.”

You smile and wave her goodbye, promising to close the store and go home soon. You do whatever task you have to keep you busy– cleaning the tables, wiping the floor, washing the dishes, freezing the dough. Anything to keep you from thinking about him. But it’s impossible. You think about him even more now, having a face to the name. Im Jaebeom. Ms. Im still talks about him every day and there’s nothing you can say or do that would justify the reason you want her to stop. 

He saved my brother’s life, and in the process he saved mine, too. He is kind and selfless and honest, but he is also tired and confused and overwhelmed. I want to care for him like he cared for me. Is this love?

No, you couldn’t say that to her. Much less to him.

“Excuse me, are you still open? I heard you guys had chocolate scones and I just had to come get one.” 

You freeze, body already stiff from work now barely being able to move.

“We’re closed,” You mumble, not looking at him. “But I can get you some scones to go.”

“If I take them to go,” He asks and you can see his feet, clad in black sneakers and tapping nervously on the floor. “Will you come with me?”

“Is this a pick up line?” You scoff.

“No, I just want to have these with you,” He chuckles and you can’t help yourself, you look at him, craving to see his eyes disappear when he smiles. “A thank you for all the food you’ve been sending to the hospital every night…”

“I’m glad,” You smile tightly, taking the apron off and hanging it on the wall. You push the cardboard box towards him. “Here you go. Have a goodnight.”

His smile is gone in a second. “Y/N…”

“You were very clear, Jaebeom,” You say sternly. “I’ll call you Jaebeom now, since we’re not in the hospital– you were very clear, Jaebeom. You are wasting your time with me; patients are waiting for you, families, friends. I’m just the girl that works with your grandmother… You have nothing to worry about, I won’t tell her anything, but it’s best if we stop this here.”

“Stop?” He asks, eyes wide. “I don’t think it’s that easy, Y/N. I missed you– did you know that? Of course you didn’t, but I’m here telling you: I missed you, goddammit. I’m a doctor, and I’m always frustrated about something, and stressed, and tired, but for the week you spent there, I felt completely okay, because I knew that in the end of the day, I’d have a constant thing in my life; Taehyung-ie and you, waiting for me with snacks. Asking me about my day. Asking me if I’m okay. People don’t do that, in the hospital– they have their own problems, and every day is a different surprise, but it felt good to have a constant, even for a little while.”

You say nothing, taking your time to process everything he’s saying.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole,” He chuckle. “I had just lost a patient; there were complications with his condition before surgery but we couldn’t wait and I lost him… But you were right, it’s not my fault, and it’s not yours. You shouldn’t have to put up with my anger, but I really, really hope you chose to put up with me despite my anger. I won’t lie, this happens a lot– the angry part. It comes with the job, even though we try our hardest to hide, but I promise to try my best to never let it all out on you ever again… please forgive me.”

You sigh, walking to him. He was wearing casual clothes and he finally looked his age, the gray hoodie and blue jeans bringing out the youth in him.

“You haven’t been eating regularly, have you?” You frown, hands holding his face. Your thumb brushes his cheekbones and his eyes are shining with something unknown to you– want, maybe. “I send you freshly baked goods everyday and you still look like you’ve lost weight…”

“What are you doing to me?” He mumbles, nuzzling his face in your hand and pulling you closer by the waist, resting his forehead on yours. “You’re messing with my head, Y/N…”

“Nah,” You chuckle, kissing his nose. “That’s your job.”

“That is possibly the lamest joke someone ever made about my job,” He laughs, and ah! there it is– cute little slits. The reason you love that so much is that it makes you all warm inside to know you can make him smile so hard that his eyes disappear. “But I love it anyways.”

“Does that mean I can make more of those?” You ask animatedly, pulling away slightly. “Cause I have a bunch of neurosurgery jokes I can ma–“

He shuts you up with a kiss and you instantly know he ate your scones before coming over, tasting the sugar and the chocolate in his mouth. It lasts long, and you prefer it that way– you want to take your timing discovering everything about Jaebeom. From the way his mouth drags over yours, chapped lips kissing you softly, to the way his hands find their way to your hair, your jawline, your waist. He pulls you closer, hugging you to him, and just as he is pressing you against the counter, you feel a vibration coming from his pocket. 

“Please tell me that your phone,” You snort a little, trying to hold your laughter in.

“Hilarious,” He says, rolling his eyes but smiling nonetheless.

“Do you have to go back?”

He nods. “Yeah, one of the patients needs surgery sooner than we thought… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ever apologize for saving lives,” You frown, pecking his lips. “Text me when you get home?”

“Absolutely,” He kisses you deeply. “I’ll see you soon.”

He sees you sooner than he thought he would. The next day, when he texts you his shift is over in thirty, you go over to the hospital, with croissants and tea. When he sees you waiting by the main entrance, he can’t help but laugh out loud.

“You said that having a constant was nice,” You shrug as he kisses your face allover. “I’ll be your constant from now on.”

“I’d love that,” He says. “Love you.”

“Love you, too,” You smile. “I think.”

“You think?” He shrieks, pulling you to his car by the hand. 

“Yeah… can you take a look inside and find out for me?” You say tapping your head. 

He just looks at you, no emotion.

“If I ever get a song stuck in my mind,” You say, buckling up when Jaebeom starts the car. “Can you get it out for me?”

“Oh my god,” He lets his head fall on the wheel. “Is this what I signed up for?”

“Absolutely,” You giggle, and he turns to look at you. “Regret it yet?”

“No, but I’m sure you’ll get me there by the end of the night.”

“Yah!”

“I told you,” He grabs your hand, laughing. “You mess with my head. Crazy girl… tsk, gonna me crazy too.”

“By the way,” You start. “How will we break it to your grandmother?”

“What do you mean,” Jaebeom laughs. “She knows. She’s known for about seven years, now.”

“What?” You shout, head turning to look at him. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know about you,” He shrugs. “But she’d talk about you a lot. Good things only– such a pretty girl, so kind, so nice. Ah, Jaebeom-ah, you remind me of Y/N… you two would get along so well. I’m pretty sure I fell in love with you before even knowing you.”

“Oh my god,” You gasp. “Ms. Im is a love genius.”

“I had to take after someone, you know?” Jaebeom brags.

For the rest of the night, you two bicker, laughing and kissing in between, and even though you promised to be his constant, barely did he know he’d be yours. 

---------------------

hello lovelies! I decided that I will now post a new part of the General Hospital series every weekend, so here it is Jaebeom’s story! He is my ult bias and I love him so much so i really hope you all enjoy it ❤️ please leave a comment and share it if you like the story! It really means the world for us writers when we get feedback :P Love you all and thank you for your endless support💕

[nadisabug]

Tea Girl // Prolouge // Pt1

Pairing: eventual Zuko x fem!reader

Warnings:  Annoying little brother lol, mean grumpy old man, just filler, a lot of setting up and explaining backstory, some cursing bc I am A Sailor, a lil surprise at the end ;)

Summary: After Y/n’s little brother wakes her up, she goes through her daily routine. 

A/N: Ahh so this idea stemmed from a short one shot I wrote and now it’s a whole new thing 0.0 I don’t have a posting schedule for this yet, but it will be slow since I will also be working on requests as well during this. Also this reader’s background is super specific and detailed so if you don’t like that avoid this. Anyways I hope you all like it because it’s my first series on this app so I am a little nervous I know it’s trash but I hope you like it enjoy <3

Series Masterlist // Part Two 

The sun filtered in through the blinds of my window, gently nudging me awake. I rolled over away from the offending light source, desperate to escape my daily life. I snuggled into my pillow. Just a few more minutes.

"Sissy, wake up. The sun is up!" I felt a presence behind me, small hands pushing into my side.

"No Kai it isn't, go to bed," I grumbled, turning away more.

"Yes it is, get up!" I felt as my younger brother flopped onto me, crushing my rib cage and restricting my breathing.

"Oof, ugh, get off of me fatty," I groaned and tried to roll away from him.

"I am not fat," Kai sat up off of me, but still left his hands on me, his palms digging into me. "I am in peak physical condition. But I won't be if you don't get me to training on time."

"Ugh, fine," I sighed and pushed him off of me. I sat up and pulled the covers off of me blinking blearily into the room. Slowly my eyes adjusted to the dim light and I surveyed our sparse room. There was the mattress I was currently sitting on and a chair in the corner with clothes piled on it. Other than that the room was pretty much empty, the only decorations the on the walls were the ones that came with the house. The normal Earth Kingdom wallpaper along with a few paintings of landscapes. Nothing of ours adorned the walls.

I got up from the bed and stretched. I heard behind me a small cheer as Kai happily hopped off the bed and rushed to the closet to pick out clothes for the day. I followed him slowly, letting him get there first. I didn't have to pick, seeing as I would be wearing my normal uniform for my job at the tea shop.

We got around in the small bathroom attached to my room, seeing as it was the only bathroom in the small apartment. Luckily, I had earned enough money recently to move to a two bedroom apartment, so I had my own room now. I used to stay in the living room area and let Kai have the room, but with my recent raise at the tea shop we were able to move. That was another reason that the walls were so bare, we hadn't finished unpacking yet. Boxes were piled up in the small living room area, most of them still full. Our kitchen area was sparse too, seeing as most of the kitchen ware was in boxes.

I got around quickly and Kai and I were ready before the sun was all the way up. We got everything we needed and left the apartment, braving the cold weather.

"Sissy, I'm cold," Kai pouted as we walked to his teacher's house.

"I know, but there's nothing I can do about that," I sighed and reached over, tugging on his jacket. He frowned and pulled away, not liking the attention. "Tell me about what you are supposed to learn today," I suggested.

"Oh!" Kai exclaimed happily. "I know, we were going to go over holding our stances while we fight..."

I nodded along, but slipped into my mind while he talked. I was so glad that he was enjoying his martial arts classes considering his past. He was a nobleman's child I found wandering the streets when I lived in the lower ring of Ba Sing Se. I picked him up immediately and found out that he was disowned because he was not showing bending abilities. Yet, despite not having that ability, he had a different one. He had a knack for art. He loved creating on any media, whether it was charcoal from our fireplace or color that I got him for a special present.

I hated having to make him go to martial arts classes, but it essence it was a babysitting service so that I could work longer days. School only went from midday to afternoon, and I didn't want to leave him alone in the house being that he was still only 9. It was a a special class for those who could not bend but still wanted to learn how to defend themselves. It was a really good class, and he really liked being around other kids like him who couldn't bend. I wanted to be there for him but-

"Okay we're here!" He announced, pulling me from my mind.

"Okay, so remember what we talked about-"

"No walking to school alone, wait for you to come pick me up," Kai nodded. "I know, I know."

"And then after school?"

"Stay in the art teacher's room until you come and get me." Kai folded his arms and stuck out his hip. "I don't get why you always have to tell me this everyday."

"So you remember," I answered, bopping him on the nose after I did. He scrunched up his nose and faked a grimace.

"Whatever, I'm going to training, see you." Kai turned around and disappeared into the tall gated yard of his instructors house. I watched as other kids filed in behind him. I waited an extra moment to make sure he didn't need anything and I set off to work.

It was a long walk but I didn't mind. I made it before long and found the shop closed, as always. I waited in front of it for my boss who would soon open up the shop. I had asked for a set of keys before so I could start the preparations, but he had denied saying he couldn't trust me. The man was crotchety and old, not the nicest, but he let me leave to walk Kai to school and paid me well so I couldn't really complain.

"Well, here it is, Ms. L/n early again," I heard a rough voice from around he corner and turned to find my boss. Speak of the devil. He was old, maybe late 70s, with wispy white hair along the side and back of his head with a giant bald spot in the middle. He was wearing traditional Earth Kingdom clothes with some alterations that constituted our uniform.

"Yes, Kai insisted on getting me up-"

"That was not an invitation to tell your life story," my boss snapped. I closed my mouth immediately, shutting up. Again, quite gruff but he let me get away with a lot so I stayed.

We filed into the tea shop and began getting it ready. I pulled the chairs down from the tables and started pulling out chinaware. When I went to the back to get the stoves ready, my boss was in the front already greeting customers.

Shit.

I forgot to heat the water as soon as I came in. Now I would have to wait for the water to boil, which would take a long time, thus getting my boss mad at me.

A small voice in the back of my head whispered, or I could do it myself...

I shook away any doubts that I had. I didn't want the boss pissed off at me so early in the morning. I looked around to make sure no one was watching, then took off the gloves I always wore. I placed my bare hands around the cold kettle and focused for a second. Then, after a few seconds, the water was boiling.

Boom. Done. Boiling water. And no one was none the wiser...

[suggiebabe]

A Whisker Away

Imagine (Part 5)

↳ “The line between human and animal starts to blur after a girl transforms herself into a cat.”

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki × Fem!Reader

Warning! NO quirks (this is an au), characters may seem ooc

Word Count: 1.4k

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

A/n: This was made a collab with @bozowrites​ so check her out! We actually worked on this SUPER COLLABORATED LOL!!!! Like I would stop in the middle of a sentence, then she would continue it, then vise versa, ITS CRAZY IF U THINK ABT IT!!! 

L/N laid in Bakugou’s arms, a warm feeling spreading through her heart. It was strange being so close to someone who she used to only admire from afar. Now she was seeing a whole different side of him and feeling his calm heartbeat against her paw. She felt his breathing become calmer, and when she looked up at his face, he was asleep.  

Slowly, she removed herself from his embrace, deciding that now was the time she should probably go home. Though she’d rather stay there and remain in his warm embrace, she knew her dad would eventually find her missing from her room. She quietly snuck out of his room, through the window.  

“Did you tell him?” She heard a familiar voice came from a nearby vase. The suddenness of his words and form popping from the small vase scared her. “What? No, of course not!” 

“So, at this rate, you’re never going to tell him, you may as well stay a cat forever then... You’re closer to him this way anyway.” 

“No way! I can’t do anything for Bakugou if I’m a cat!” She yelled out at the larger cat. 

“You can’t help as a human either.” The mask seller grinned, knowing he was getting under her skin. It was all part of his plan... 

“That’s not...” 

“It’s not true?” He interrupted. She looked down in defeat, knowing he was probably right. “As a cat, you’ll be able to stay close to Bakugou! You’ll be able to observe him, sleep, have him feed you, sleep, poop, sleep! Isn’t that wonderful? Bakugou will be happy too-” “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” L/N yelled, shaking her head. Not wanting to hear any more of his words, she ran back to her house as fast as she could, turning back into a human in the process. 

When she got back to her room, she had this strange feeling that someone had been inside. Like, something was different in the atmosphere of her room. “Something doesn’t feel right. Was Ms. Kaoru in my room?”  

She lightly walked over to her living room, where she heard both of her parents conversing, trying to figure out where she went.  

Her shoes are still here... She must’ve gone out the window, she’s been sneaking out lately.” she leaned closer to the door, trying to listen some more. As she turned her head to put her ear up against the door, she noticed Kaoru’s cat sitting across the hallway staring at her. L/N swore this cat had something against her, because as soon as she noticed her, the cat began to meow loudly, then she pounced on L/N, making her fall on her butt. 

“Y/N?” She heard her stepmom call out to her. Slowly, she got up, glaring at the cat, and walked to the living room to face her parents. 

“What is it?” She asked, quietly closing the door behind her. “Did you go somewhere? I went into your room to see if you wanted to have tea together, but you weren’t there.” She could hear the worry in her stepmom's voice. “Oh... I was on the roof!” She lied straight through her teeth. “I just wanted to uh, to feel some air on my face is all! Well, I’m feeling pretty tired, goodnight guys!” She faked a yawn and quickly walked out of the room back to her own. “Goodnight...” Her parents said in unison, confused as to what their daughter could be up to. 

She sat at her desk looking at a blank piece of paper. She knew she what she wanted to tell Bakugou, but she didn’t know how to put it into words.  

“I don’t want empty words to protect myself. I’d rather have Bakugou’s scathing instead.” She shook her head as she read what she wrote down out loud. “That just doesn’t sound right...” Her hands found their way into her hair as she tugged on it in frustration. “Who needs Y/N L/N? Y/N Bakugou...  That sounds better.” 

The next morning, as L/N sat at her desk she let out a loud yawn, tired from staying up so late into the night. “Did you really stay up studying? That’s unlike you...” Jirou asked, looking over at her. “I was thinking about my life.” She said, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.  

“Hey, Bakugou!” Kirishima yelled out as he saw Bakugou enter the classroom. The blond just grunted in response and stomped to his seat. L/N had her eyes on him the entire time, silently whispering a “good morning” as he walked past her desk, to which he didn’t respond.  

It was weird to L/n. Bakugou could be this angry person at school, but at home, he showed small smiles and laughed. He was someone completely different at school and she could only wonder why. He’d never tell her of course. Why would he?  

Her eyes followed him, and once he sat down, she knew it was her time to strike. She stood up and marched over to his desk. When she reached him, she held out an envelope with his name on it. He looked up at her, his usual scowl turned to slight confusion. “The fuck is this?”  

“That’s a good question, Mr. Sparky! What exactly is this?” Monoma asked, that well-known smirk across his face. “Go away, Monoma.” She glared. Her heart was beating hard already, but the added tension from Monoma made things worse.  

“I don’t think I will. So, L/n, let us see.” L/n retracted the envelope. She didn’t need the whole class to see it, just Bakugou. Bakugou could only look between the two. He didn’t care, nor did he want to know what was in the envelope.  

Bakugou sat at his desk, a bored look on his face as he watched L/N and Monoma wrestle for the piece of paper. Once Monoma was able to shake her off, he ran to the front of the classroom and stood behind the podium so she couldn’t reach him. He grinned at the frustrated girl, and stuck out his tongue. After she seemed to accept the fact that she wouldn’t be able to reach him, she just stood there, her face painted with a rotten expression.  

“Now... let's see what's in this piece of trash.” He said as he started to tear into the envelope, L/N’s eyes widening. She didn’t think he would open the envelope! Her feet were frozen, the thought of her letter being read out loud caused her head to go blank.  

Monoma tore open the envelope and started to read her words out loud for everyone to hear, especially Bakugou.  

“Bakugou... You remind me of the sun on a warm summer's day! Words cannot describe the way I feel about you...” he read the letter dramatically. Once she heard the words coming out of his mouth, she came back to her senses and jumped towards him, trying to get her love note back. Seeing how upset Monoma was making L/N, Kirishima, Kaminari, and Jirou all also tried to catch him, running around the classroom.  

Though he hated to admit it, Bakugou felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach, but he still sat at his desk, not feeling guilty enough to do anything. Monoma once again ran to the front of the classroom, L/N trailing behind him. He raised it over his head making her jump up to try and get it. “Is this that embarrassing for you?” He grinned. “My feelings aren't for you to make fun of! Give it back!” She yelled at him, continuing to jump up, trying to reach it. Monoma narrowed his eyebrows, almost feeling a bit of remorse for the poor girl. Once he remembered his task, he looked over to Bakugou. 

“So, you gonna accept her confession boom boy?” He said, the grin on his face becoming wider. Bakugou stood up and marched over to the bully, snatching the paper away once he reached him. L/N looked at him, a bit of hope in her eyes, would he accept it? He had told her he admired her personality while she was a cat, would he accept her feelings?  

“Bakugou...” He looked at her, with what looked like a glare? “I-I just wanted to make you feel better, I’m just like you! I have a hard time saying how I feel too!” “Shut up idiot,” he said coldly, sending shivers up her spine, “You don’t know how I feel. Don’t you understand that this is just a distraction? Gosh... I hate people like you.” He said, turning back to his desk, the whole room silent. “Th-then if I were to tell you in person...” “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I SAID I HATED YOU, NOW BUZZ OFF!” 

“You... hate me?”

Taglist: @katsushimaa​ @effmigentlywithachainsaw​ @sir-knight-slytherdor​

[oneweekoneband]

a hugely inexpert, absolutely correct examination of The Planets and their role in taylor swift turning out to be such a freak

Astrology is real. Astrology is made-up nonsense. Made-up nonsense is real. One person’s chosen organizing principle for living is no more or less stupid than anyone elses. All of this is true or maybe it isn’t. Don’t roll your eyes too hard, but Joan Didion wasn’t lying—we do tell ourselves stories in order to live. It’s about all we do. I don’t understand the stars and planets because I don’t believe it’s my business what happens up there, plus I’m a little dumb, but I, like any blubbering narcissist, enjoy being told something about myself, and what is a horoscope but an opaque little love note designed to be interpreted by the reader in whatever way suits them best. There are astrologers who write beautiful, empathetic horoscopes that are a balm whether you believe them or not, and in this way astrology has a cultural value which makes any dubious scientific purity irrelevant. I don’t understand the stars and planets, but I have friends that do, and I like hearing whatever they sort out. Certainly, I’m not immune to believing in spurious little rituals; I was raised Catholic. Thinking that your star sign is responsible for certain aspects of your personality is no more impractical than keeping a Saint Christopher medal in your car to protect you from danger while traveling. These days I do both. Astrology is possibly real or possibly is not and maybe it matters what “real” means or else it might not, yeah, but the philosophical questions recede in the face of one fact upon which we can all agree: Taylor Swift has a profoundly upsetting birth chart.

Right off the bat, just from an aesthetic standpoint, this image (above) is not inviting. I don’t like to see it. When I wrote about Taylor Swift on this site in 2013 I didn’t know my moon or rising signs. This knowledge was not yet mandatory for trying to date girls and/or understanding jokes online. I was, at that time, far from even the semi-astrologically-literate state I am in now, yet even then if you’d have shown me this image, I know I’d shudder. It doesn’t take a scholar of any kind to see this and feel a chill down your spine, the itch of cold, spectral fingers closing around your wrist. Look at it again. The painful bisection by those angry blue lines. If you found this painted on a cave wall you’d turn and run back towards the fresh air of the opening, blinking back tears, certain some undead beast was following in your wake. This is a birth chart that says I am capable of writing songs like “All Too Well” but sometimes what I like better is to name a cat after the worst David Fincher movie and do a anti-homophobia music video that actually is so bad it felt somehow like it itself was homophobia. This is a birth chart that says I am going to release my new album, Red (2012), with a promo wherein Papa John’s will bring you a copy of it along with your pizza. This is a birth chart that says yeah, I used to do a fake twang as a teenager, and then I dropped the fake twang, but I can bring it back with no notice sometimes so all the girls (mentally ill adult women who have a Pavlovian response to anything that kinda sounds like “Hey Stephen”) go wild.

Taylor Swift is a Sagittarius. That’s the one with the arrow. It’s one of the good signs, theoretically, because it’s one that I have a lot of in my own chart, and because it’s in November and December, which are months where you can wear all your coats. Some other Sagittarians include Brad Pitt, Britney Spears, Janelle Monae, 8th US President Martin Van Buren, Jane Fonda, my friend C., who, in fact, happens to share all three major placements, sun, moon, and rising, with Ms. Swift, but I still don’t think she’s murdered anyone, and, of course, Jake “Twin fire signs / Four Blue Eyes” Gyllenhaal. So we have basically a lot of hot people and one guy who died of asthma, but who did manage to get the highest ranking job in the country first, though the country was a lot smaller then, and didn’t even have McDonalds yet to serve to teams that win college football tournaments. All in all, seems okay. Her moon is in Cancer. I think this connotes something about the watery depths of her emotional self, and it’s the only astrological placement which gets a shout out in the Joni Mitchell song “Little Green”. Her rising sign is Scorpio which is, like... Well, Scorpio to me is Halloween and Blair Waldorf from Gossip Girl. Medically speaking, I think that influence is how the stylings for the reputation era turned out so very Hot Topic. My moon is in Scorpio so this is a self-own as much as anything else.

Now look at this. What does it mean? Impossible to say, but that will not stop me from concluding that whatever it does mean is definitely bad. It will not stop me from extrapolating that probably a “multiple planet opposition” is the kind of thing that makes a person go to Stonewall during Pride for a surprise appearance but perform “Shake It Off” instead of any of the actual really good and sexy songs. But then, I bet it probably also factored into her developing into the kind of creative mind who would write something as weird and funny and vital as “And I’ve been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why,” so possibly bad is good and good is bad and the various astrological signs just signify the different ways we relate to death. I don’t know. I’m scared.

In the documentary Folkore: The Long Pond Studio Sessions, released on Disney+ last month to accompany the record, because this daughter of three generations of bank presidents is nothing if not a money-maker, Taylor wears a terrifying outfit that I started to like rather than recoil from by about halfway through, and while wearing it espouses a belief that we are all monsters, which I happen to figure is correct. In Madame Clairevoyant’s Guide to the Stars, essential book on astrology and, importantly, the vagaries of the human heart, the incomparable Claire Comstock-Gay writes, “For Sagittarius, the desire is shifting and undefined. This is a drive, above all else, to see, to learn, to experience, to continually seek knowledge. It’s a drive to live a life that never asks or requires that you cede your freedom and never requires you to stop searching.” Certainly, this is the kind of internal compass which would lead to making the unusual, dramatic, and frankly very cool decision to entirely re-record your first six albums when ownership of the original masters has fallen into the hands of a little creep named “””Scooter””” who refuses to relinquish this morally, if not actually legally, false claim. For years I have speculated that actual murder of a human would not be outside of Taylor Swift’s capabilities. This is a statement made with neither praise or criticism attached. It’s a clinical observation from a sterling mind. What I feel with equal conviction, but admit more grudgingly, is that, if it happened, she’d have a perfectly logical reason. (Note: Taylor, if you’re reading this, I am not the type who’d rat anyway. It’s fine. Please don’t sue me.) I’m positive the astrological facts support my findings on this, and if I’m wrong, fortunately I will never find out. Anyway, the next full moon is in 22 days. I always want to look at it and then I forget. There’s a lot going on in space, and while I do feel that any cosmic forces which would put me and Taylor Swift on Earth at the same time are sort of inherently malevolent, I guess it’s been pretty fun, too.

[crystalwillow]

Count My Blessings

Pairing: Noah Harris x Anna-Rose Price

Features: Mason Jennings, Hazel Harris, Elijah Harris & Ms. Harris

Mentioned: Samantha Lawrence, Mackenzie Price, Dave Price (Mc & Mack’s dad)

Word Count: 4.7K

Inspired by the finale of My Two First Loves. I wanted to write something for us who took the route of romancing Noah. Having Mason and Ava as friends. I do want to quickly disclaim that I chose to rename Ava to Samantha, to give Elijah one last chance and not turn him over to police, and to take the sweet route in the finale, not the steamy one. So this will mostly be fluff with slight steamy moments between Noah and Anna-Rose. 

I am using the names of the characters in my play through, and I am referring to Noah, Elijah & Hazel’s ma as Ms. Harris. 

I will at some point replay the book a further two times so I can write something similar to this for both Mason and Ava. But I do ask you to just bear in mind that Ava might be called Samantha because that’s what I’m choosing to call her. 

Also, this is written in first person, which is different for me as I usually mainly write in 3rd person. But nonetheless, I hope you enjoy this fiction. 

=============================================================

The night after the recital, I sat around the dining table in Noah’s home with his family. Ms. Harris had no idea what to make for dinner, so in my infinite wisdom, I had offered to pop by the store earlier in the day, and with the help of Mason, I was able to get all the ingredients I needed to make my favourite pasta dish. We’d also stopped by a clothing store to buy a couple of new outfits for me to choose from to wear for dinner. But of course, now being part of the family, I couldn’t not get anything for Hazel. So naturally, I spent hours browsing the shelf for the little rascal whilst Mason went through the women’s section, picking out potential options for me. I was starting to feel hopeless in the store we were in when I saw something that was screaming Hazel right at my face. Red is a colour that has always suited her, so when I came face to face with a beautiful red dress, with golden stars printed onto the material and a headband to match. I screamed, snatching up one in her size almost immediately. I was adoring the dress when Mason came rushing round the corner with what looked like a dozen dresses over his shoulders.

“Anna-Rose!” he panted, slightly out of breath.

“Mason? What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked, confusion clear on my face.

“You screamed.”

My face fell before breaking out into a wide grin and eventually laughter erupted from my throat.

“What? Why are you laughing? I don’t get it.” 

“I just found the perfect dress for Hazel, I’m not in danger.”

He scowled at me as I grinned at him before breaking out into laughter of his own, realizing how ridiculous our current situation was. “Right... You didn’t shout the..”

“Codeword of shobaloobagoobleflop.”

“Yeah… that.”

We stood in the moment for a while longer before heading to the fitting rooms for me to try on the dresses he had picked out and carried over his shoulder. After a further 45 minutes in the store, I’d narrowed it down to three options. A stunning silver bodycon dress, but it looked more like something someone would wear to an award show. A beautiful flowing sun dress in a beautiful midnight blue mixed with a little purple colour. And my personal favourite. A simple yet effective shirt dress in my favourite colour and made from my favourite material. Navy blue denim. I already owned a dress similar to this one, but in all the excitement of getting back to Eastridge to support Samantha at her first recital, I’d forgotten to pack it. And nobody can ever own too much denim. Or too many dresses. Right? 

“How’s it going Anna-Rose?” Mason asked loudly from outside the changing room. 

“Uhhh… I don’t know which to choose. I don’t want it to be too much and inappropriate for the dinner table. But I also want to look rejuvenated after actually spending the time cooking which is going to make me tired.” I shouted back.

“Well.. what options do you have left?”

As I told Mason the options I had left in the changing room with me I heard him reacting. 

“Okay. so you so do not want the bodycon. Hand that back.”

“Okay..” I replied as I stuck my arm out of the curtain, dress hanger in hand.

“Thank you, I’ll just pop this back. One moment please,” Mason said and I heard his footsteps retreat, I sat on the stool and looked at myself in the mirror and let out a small chuckle. Six months ago the girl looking back at me was going through so much she thought she might just not wake up one day due to exploding from stress in her sleep. But now, she’s a student at NYAI, is certain in her future, is lucky to have the friends she has and is proud of being the girlfriend to one of the most handsome people she has ever seen.

As I sat staring in the mirror waiting for Mason to return, my phone pinged on the side with a notification. It was a voice note from Noah in response to a message I’d sent whilst I was shopping for groceries with Mason. 

“Anna-Rose, you’re already too sweet for me. But it sounds like a good idea for you girls to get in some premium bonding time. I guess I could spare you for... Let’s say… 2 movies.”

I smiled as I listened to his chuckle and small whispering of “I love you” at the end, I held down the button to record and send my own response to him. 

“Noah Harris, you are not getting out of spending time doing face masks and painting your nails with myself and Hazel by slinking away to watch your videos about macho racing cars, or whatever it is you do. Plus I got our favourite candy! You can’t say no to that!” 

I followed the voice note with a picture of me pouting in the changing room mirror. Just as I locked my phone, I heard Mason return saying my name after clearing his throat. 

“I’ve just spoken to a shop assistant and she said that you should definitely go with the denim dress. It’s perfect pair with black heeled booties and your hair in a braid, pretty much how it is now.”  

I smiled as Mason relayed the information to me and got dressed back into my own clothes before making sure I had everything and pulling back the curtain. These two remaining dresses in hand. 

“Then I guess we’re putting back a sun dress.” 

Mason smiled and before we knew it he was dropping me back off at the Harris household, helping me inside with the bags before bidding me goodbye and leaving to head home. I was unpacking the groceries when I heard small footsteps bounding towards the kitchen, followed by much bigger ones. 

“Anna-Rose! Thank Goodness!” Hazel gasped as she ducked behind my legs as a grinning Elijah rounded the corner. He straightened up upon seeing my presence and swallowed harshly as he cleared his throat. 

“Anna-Rose. Ah. I um-”

“Was just doing what big brothers should do. Playing with their younger siblings and making them happy. Carry on, I just need to unpack these groceries and then I’m going to start preparing for dinner. But, I do want you two to clean up and be settled before your ma and Noah get home from work, okay? They’re going to want some peace and quiet before dinner.”

Elijah and Hazel looked at each other, talking with facial expressions before turning back to me and nodding profusely with large grins. “Okay, Anna-Rose!” they said in unison before carrying on with their game. 

Later on around 5:30pm, the door opened and closed as Noah returned from work, taking a deep inhale. 

“Something smells delicious.” he commented. 

“Anna-Rose is cooking dinner for us sweetie.” Ms. Harris replied as Hazel and Elijah bickered over a crayon’s shape on the floor. 

“No! I’m telling you Elijah. It’s a mermaid!”

“Nooo. it’s definitely a shark.”

Noah looked at them and chuckled from behind me before greeting me with a kiss. 

“Hey gorgeous. Miss me?”

“Of course I did.”

He smiled at me and we shared another kiss before he sighed. “As much as I’d love to stand her and cuddle you whilst you finish cooking, I’m gonna go jump in the shower. I’m covered in grease and brake fluid. It’s not the best smell.” 

“Okay. Dinner won’t be long, only about another 10 minutes maximum.”

“Alright. I’ll try not to be too long.” he winked before walking in the direction of the bathroom. 

I listened back to the conversation happening between Elijah and Hazel.

“But you said that basketballs can be customized to be rainbow. And that you’d get me one with my name on and everything. Even teach me how to play. And you still haven’t.”

“That was before. When my ways weren’t moral at all. I used to be a bad guy, like dad. The only difference between us is, I had a brother and a girl that’s very special to him, show me it’s not too late to be good before I was a copy of dad. So I’m not going to jail. Noah isn’t going back to jail. Ma will be around more often soon too. Things are only going to get better from now on. Okay, kiddo?”

I smiled softly as Hazel turned her head to look at me before looking back at her brother and breaking into a soft smile of her own. “So you’re a good guy now?”

“I’m at the very start. But it was the tortoise who won the race, wasn’t it?”

Hazel nodded with a smile and launched herself into Elijah’s arms. He looked over her shoulder at me and mouthed a “thank you” as tears glossed his eyes. And I knew he meant it. He was on the edge of no return when Noah, Mason, Samantha, Mack, and I found him in that warehouse that night. We could have made the total wrong decision giving him one last chance. But he wasn’t wasting it. It took for him getting severely injured for the danger of the lifestyle he was choosing to register in his mind. But I could tell he was truly sorry for all the pain he had caused. And I could tell that Ms. Harris was happy to have her eldest son back at home safe and away from being a criminal. Just as I was plating up dinner and Hazel was setting the table, Noah walked back into the kitchen, freshly showered and in some cleaner, more comfortable clothes. 

“Hey, Hazel?”

“Yes, Anna-Rose?”

“I could use your help quickly. Would you mind?”

“No, I’m coming!” she chimed and took my hand, following me to her bedroom. 

As we entered she immediately noticed the bag hanging on her door handle. “What’s in the bag?”

“Why don’t you go ahead and take a look?” 

“Okay…” Hazel cautioned as she opened the bag, taking out what was inside, screaming happily. “AH! ANNA-ROSE! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANTED THIS?!” She abandoned the dress and headband in her bed and rushed into my arms hugging me tightly. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!” 

I chuckled as she hugged tighter before letting go. “Can you help me put it on?! I want to show Noah and Elijah how many heart’s I’m going to break when I grow up!” She enthused

“I don’t know about that.” I chuckled. “I think they might be a bit protective of you.” 

She gave me her best “and you think I care?” look before we burst into a fit of giggles. I helped her into her dress before disappearing into the bathroom and changing into my own. As we were inside, I didn’t bother with heeled booties as suggested. Instead I put in some fluffy black slippers and gave Hazel a matching pair, then together, we applied some lip gloss before rejoining the rest of the family for dinner. 

“Ohh Hazel! Look at you! You’re so pretty my sweet.” Ms. Harris cooed as she engulfed her in a hug, whilst Noah and Elijah gave me matching skeptical looks.

“What?”

“Do you know-”

“Are you aware-”

They stopped and looked at each other, mumbling an apology at each other. 

“Oh. I get it. You boys are jealous I got Hazel something and not you. Don’t worry. Elijah you’re after your mom who is next month and then Noah, you’re after Samantha, who is after Elijah.” I teased with my best poker face but couldn’t help but break out in a smile as Elijah failed to remain his own poker face beside me at Noah’s twitching eye.

“I’m teasing! Of course you’re next month with your mom. You two deserve something nice with all the hard work you do. I’ll send you details in the post.” I winked at Noah before taking my place between him and Hazel, Ms. Harris flashing me a kind smile. 

“Thank you so much for making us this meal Anna-Rose. I can’t express my gratitude enough.” 

“Your smile is all I need ma’am. Nothing more.” 

“Oh.” Ms. Harris replied as she choked back a sob. “Noah. Don’t you ever do anything foolish and lose this girl. Because I will personally rearrange your entire being myself.” She warned and Noah flashed a grin.

“Don’t worry ma. I don’t plan on it. She’s my everything. I wouldn’t- WE wouldn’t be where we are, had she not come into my life.” Noah reassured her, looking at me lovingly as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. 

“You’ve got to teach me the game Noah.” Elijah stated.

“What game?” He responded, his adoring gaze never leaving mine.

“The one of scoring a girl of my own with a heart of gold.”

“There is no game.” He said, a small smile gracing his features. “You just have to be your true self, give them your everything and let them know they have you, even if for a while you don’t have them. If they need space to figure out who they are for them to then figure out what they two of you could be. Give it to them. Because if you don’t. You’ll lose them. Forever.” 

I smiled back at Noah softly and gently reached up, swiping the tear from his cheek that left his eye and he voiced the alternative of what could’ve happened to us.

“Noah.” Hazel piped up.

“Yes, ballet master?” 

“You haven’t told Anna-Rose how pretty she looks. That’s really rude. Ma raised you better than that. Also. This pasta is delicious, thank you Anna-Rose.” 

Everyone chuckled at her bluntness as she chowed down on her food. 

“She’s right. I haven’t. You look stunningly gorgeous tonight babe. Thank you for the effort you’ve put in.”

Elijah piped up too. “Yes. Thank you Anna-Rose.” 

“Oh. Guys. It’s nothing, seriously. I just wanted to cook a nice meal for my family.” 

Elijah, Hazel and Ms. Harris froze mid-bite and looked at me. Elijah lowered his fork back to his plate before clearing his throat to speak.

“We- you- but you two aren’t-” he stuttered. 

Noah smirked. “How do you know?” He teased. 

“You didn’t…” Elijah gasped

“Maybe I did.”

“But she would have…”

“Not necessarily.”

“Bro, did you seriously…”

Noah was about to respond when their mom interjected.

“Noah, stop winding your brother up.” 

“Ah, maaa! You ruined the fun. Just look at his face!” Noah chuckled with a gleam in his eye. 

Elijah looked between the two of us for the rest of dinner, I could see the gears turning in his head. Trying to figure out if Noah had popped the question. Even though the answer right now was an obvious no. 

After dinner was done, Elijah offered to do the dishes whilst Ms. Harris announced she was off to bed, leaving myself, Hazel and Noah to take up the living room and watch movies whilst doing face masks. 

As the night wound on, I flooded my Pictagram stories with small videos and various pictures documenting our night. Being careful to stick to Ms. Harris’ rules of not showing off the location of their house. By 10:30pm Hazel was sound asleep on the couch, whilst Noah and I were snuggled on the floor under blankets. We were engrossed in a movie when Elijah stuck his head in the room startling us as he spoke up.

“Hey. Ma wanted m-”

“Ah!” I yelped quietly, Noah gasping beside me.

“Sorry.” Elijah apologized, “Ma asked me to check up on you three. She’s now going to sleep but could help but worry.”

“Oh. Well. Hazel’s asleep. And we were just finishing the movie before heading to be ourselves.” I explained.

“Okay. Let me carry her to bed. Oh, and Anna-Rose?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. Again. When are you going home to see your dad?” 

“Uhh… tomorrow. Why?” 

“Could I.. tag along? I owe him a massive thanks for risking his job to save my life.” 

I let the question hang in the air for a moment before smiling softly, “Sure. But… you’ll also owe him a profuse apology for leaving his daughters to get arrested for a crime they didn’t have any active part in.” 

“I… yeah. I do. I’ll work on it tonight. Noah?” He jerked his head at his younger brother. Noah raised a brow back at him. “Am I crashing in your room tonight?” 

“No. There’s 15 minutes of this movie left. You can settle on the couch and wait for us to leave, we won’t be long.” 

“Okay. Cool.” 

As the movie finished, I spared a glance over at Elijah who had rejoined us after putting Hazel to bed, and was now asleep on the couch. I felt my brow furrow with concern as I watched him flinch and whimper in his sleep, a cold sweat taking over him before he sat up with a shout, scaring Noah, who was putting the DVD’s away. 

“Hey. It’s alright. You’re okay. You’re safe.” I said softly, gently rubbing his back in circular motions.

“Wha- Where- …”

“You’re at home. With your family.”

He looked at me and his eyes widened in terror.

“You!” He exclaimed pointing an accusatory finger at me. “You’re lying about your full name. Noah doesn’t know it. He only knows the shortened version.”

Noah looked at Elijah suspiciously. “Hey. Are you… okay? What nightmare did you have this time.” 

“She’s a criminal Noah.”

“What? Elijah. She’s not. It was just a bad dream. Anna-Rose, can you grab a bottle of water from the fridge?”

“Sure.”

“No!” He yelled as I turned to leave the room. “She’ll poison it.” He whispered to Noah, earning a confused look in return. 

“Elijah. You’re being silly. Who do you think I am?” 

“The largest serial killer known to man.” 

“What? No. I’m Annabella Rosaline Marianne Price, 1st daughter to the late Sheila Price and her husband Dave Price. I’m a graduate of Eastridge High and am currently pursuing my passion of photography at The NYAI. I’m no murderer. I’m your brother's girlfriend. And I see you as family too. I helped make sure you survived a horrible attack. If I wanted you dead I would have left you.”

I looked on with a steel gaze towards Elijah despite Noah looking at me with his cute puppy dog face. Once Elijah came out of his trance and nodded I turned to Noah and raised a brow.

“What?” I asked softly.

“You’re full name.”

“What about it?”

“It explains why you’re so beautiful… Annabella Rosaline Marianne Price. The woman I will one day, make my wife. I- … Wow.” He whispered softly with a smile, which I gracefully returned.

“I’ll go get that water.” I said as Elijah cleared his throat reminding us of his presence.

--- The Next Day ---

As the sun beamed through the crack in Noah’s curtains, I stirred awake and turned to face the wall with a groan. It couldn’t be morning already could it? I smiled as I felt a soft tickle of breath against my neck followed by Noah’s voice.

“Good morning, beautiful.” He whispered in my ear and I could hear the smile on his face.

“Shhhhhh.” I said back, earning a small chuckle from him as he wrapped his arms around me and snuggled as close as possible. 

“We have a couple hours until we need to get up. How long do you wanna stay like this for?”

“Forever. You’re so warm and snuggly. I’m gonna miss you so much when I go back to New York.”

“I’m gonna miss you too. Though. I have a question.”

I opened my eyes as I turned to face him, his bright blue skies meeting my forest greens. “Shoot.”

“When moments are special. Like this one right now. Can I call you my Annabella?” He blushed.

I smiled at his cuteness. “Only if I can call youuuu…”

“Noah Maurice Harris?”

“What?”

“My middle name. It’s Maurice. After my late grandfather on ma’s side.”

I smiled for a moment bringing my hand to his face and cupping his jaw, caressing his cheek with a gentle thumb. I watched as he closed his eyes and inhaled, peace etching itself on every inch of his face. He somehow looked even more angelic this way than when he had his eyes open. 

“I don’t want to call you your full name. I just want to call you mine.” I whispered, placing a soft kiss on his forehead as his bedroom door opened. Ms. Harris poking her head inside, giving us a smile as she laid her eyes on us. 

“Good morning Anna-Rose. Morning Noah.”

“Morning Ms. Harris”

“Hi ma.”

“Oh. Anna-Rose. Thank you.”

“What for?” 

“I haven’t seen or heard my little baby so relaxed for years. You two truly are meant to be. Thank you for being a safe person for him.” She whispered, gently stroking Noah’s hair and we watched as a small smile crept onto his face. 

“Ma. You’re gonna seal the deal and put me back to sleep in a minute.” Noah smiled lazily and I chuckled softly as Ms. Harris smiled. 

“It’s… nothing Ms. Harris. I… I love him. He’s amazing. His past doesn’t define who he is at heart. A soft, sappy, kind, warm, loving, hopeless romantic. And… and someone who I can see my future with. I would trade what we’re starting to build for ourselves for anything in the world. You’re an amazing mother Ms. Harris. And it’s reflected in both Noah and Hazel. I’m hoping one day we’ll see it in Elijah too. I know it’s there. He just has to stop being afraid to let it shine through. Please never doubt yourself because every one of your kids has the purest of hearts, just like you.”

I reached out and took Ms. Harris’ hand in my own as she sniffled and a tear fell from her cheek onto the pillow beside Noah’s head. 

“I couldn’t ask for a better daughter-in-law than you Anna-Rose. You’ve done so much, not only for this one here but, for Hazel and you helped bring my other boy home. Things feel more complete now, and we have you to thank.” 

I smiled at her as we squeezed each other's hands in an understanding gratefulness. I was thanking her for bringing Noah into this world and she was thanking me for loving him despite the rumors and harsh things being said about him, for reaching deeply and seeing Noah within. Who he truly was. Our moment was interrupted as Elijah poked his head in. 

“Is he not up yet? We’re supposed to be leaving for our morning run in 5 minutes.” 

“Oh shut it Elijah. I’m in a moment of bliss. Go for the run on your own.” Noah slurred. Ms. Harris and I chuckled quietly as Elijah let out an exaggerated sigh with an eye roll before leaving. 

“Well, I popped in to remind you not to be late for work today Noah. And tell you your lunch is in the fridge. I need to be off to work myself. I’ll see you later.” She smiled and pressed a kiss to Noah’s temple and one to my forehead before collecting her bag from the floor and leaving, quietly shutting the door. 

After she had gone, Noah slowly opened his eyes and smiled at me. 

“What?” 

“Nothing. I just… thank you. For treating her so well. She means a lot to me and well… she’s the only parent I’ve got. If it wasn’t for her..”

“Hey! It’s okay. I… it’s been a while since I had a mother figure in my life. And well… your mom’s not exactly mean is she? She deserves the nice words, gifts, and love. To be cherished and shown how amazing she is. Plus. Being rude isn’t in my nature.” I whispered softly

He smiled back at me and I stroked his hair, sighing contently before pushing himself up. “I should join Elijah for our morning run. Then we can cuddle up again when I get back okay?”

“Yeah, sure.” I smiled, sharing a kiss with him before snuggling under his blankets and hugging his pillow.

“NOAH I'M LEAVING!” Elijah shouted.

“ONE MINUTE, I'M TYING MY SHOES!” Noah shouted back and gave me a wink as he pulled his shirt over his head, grabbing his shoes from the rack by the door and walking out. 

There wasn’t much to do whilst he was gone, but put the dishes away from last night's meal and have a shower myself. I was reading a book, coffee mug in hand when Hazel came into the room, plopping herself down next to me. 

“Good morning, Anna-Rose.”

“Good morning, Hazel. Can I get you breakfast?”

“Can you make pancakes?”

“I make the best pancakes. Shall we see if we have all the ingredients?” 

Hazel nodded and together we made pancakes before getting up and dressed. When the boys returned we were sitting watching TV. The rest of the day passed by how you would expect. We played board games and drew pictures, when Ms. Harris arrived home from work, Elijah, Noah, and myself set off for my dad’s house. When we arrived he received us with a warm welcome. Firstly Elijah apologized profusely to dad for the mess he got myself and Mack in. Then he apologized to Mack for even putting her in that position in the first place. By the end of the evening everything was smoothed over and starting to heal. The next morning Mason knocked on the door, he was taking me back to New York today. There were some things I needed to get before college started back up and it was gonna take a while. 

Elijah decided to make his own way back home but Noah was coming with us too. I’d promised him I’d show him the sights. As we travelled along the highway, I couldn’t help but feel sadness. Being miles away from your friends and boyfriend sucks. You just want to stay close forever and make a tone of memories together. But everyone has to lead a life of their own eventually. Mason was Noah’s ride back to Eastridge so he parked in the parking spot outside my dorm and the two helped me inside with my bags. After they were secured safely, I locked my dorm and we headed out to see the sights and go shopping. 

Eventually the part I had been dreading came and I teared up as I stood on my dorm doorstep with Noah, clutching his hands tightly in my own. 

“I wish you could stay.”

“I wish I could stay too. But we’re blessed with phones. We can hear each other daily.”

“It’s not the same as being able to hold you though.”

“I know. But we’ll see each other again over our next break.”

“Promise?”

“Wholeheartedly so, my sweet Annabella.” Noah whispered and I closed my eyes as he pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead before pulling me into a tightened embrace. “Did you hug Mason goodbye?” He mumbled into my hair and I shook my head.

Noah turned to the car and motioned for Mason to join us. He walked over and cleared his throat.

“What’s wrong?”

“You haven’t hugged your friend goodbye. That’s pretty rude Mason.”

Mason sighed and looked at me, opening his arms and I dove into them, squeezing him tightly too. “I'm going to miss you. Have fun in the Navy.” 

“I will.”

I stepped back inside and waved goodbye, watching as Mason's car drove off into the distance. When I could no longer see it, I closed the door and climbed into bed. I had just settled when my phone pinged. Opening the message from Noah I chuckled. It was a goofy selfie of him and Mason pouting as they sat in traffic, captioned “We miss you already 😢” 

Sighing I sent a pouting selfie of my own back captioned “missing you guys too! 🥺😢💔”

Usually I found it hard to fall asleep being away from everyone, in a big city all on my own. But there was something different, I realized as I was drifting off to sleep that all I had to do was count my blessings.

[alchemabotana]

Horoscopes for the Summer Solstice 2021

Antonina “Little Thunder” Whaples - @whaplesantonina

If you find these astrological musings useful for your current journey or life path, please consider paying it forward by voting for me as Ms. Health and Fitness 2021 for Muscle and Fitness Hers Magazine front cover. Voting is every 24 hours and is free, unless you’d like to bump my votes with a “warrior” vote donation for disabled veterans. I am currently in 5th place in my division, and appreciate your support: https://mshealthandfitness.com/2021/antonina

Digital Painting “The Sacred Mountain Jomeokee,” by Antonina Whaples

Horoscopes for the Summer Solstice 2021

11:31pm EST N. Hemisphere, Sunday June 20th 2021

We welcome the turning of the seasonal year & mark the pinnacle of the Sun’s radiative force as Summer Solstice opens us to Cancer Season. This season of the water sign brings us the warm waters of Spirit to soothe the collective experience of the internalized personal battles stirred up during Mars in Cancer. In it’s echo, we turn to the Archer, Sagittarius, to take those hard won personal lessons of the past season as fuel for the fire of the next movements ahead. With Saturn and Mars opposing each other, it may seem that tensions are still what’s holding everything together. However, with Mars protected by Saggitarius, and Saturn being homed in the cool interior of the Aquarian, we may see tensions become bridges, and complaints become solutions quicker than we could have imagined. With these forces in homes that like to get things done, and not at the expense of others, we may want to check in on our strong friends. With Mercury Rx trining Saturn in Aquarius, there are large backroom system updates churning away at the etherium of our mental banks. Past problems, patterns, scenarios, and conflicts may appear in your consciousness, but not be actually reflective of the world outside you. Take this time to appreciate the dimensionality of the human experience, our relationship to perceived time constraints, and the pieces of your identity you’re willing to bring back, or let go of, in order to make the next quantum leap. This Solstice may feel like a true cathartic experience of release for many, with much of this release coming from the work of the prior eclipse work done intentionally or otherwise. The Past comes through for us in unseen ways, as the monsters, myths, and legends of our ancestral lineages & collective human condition, come to the council meetings of our inner spirits to help us ascend to an improved iteration of the stories of our lives. 

Aries:

On this sacred Solstice day you can best support your internal needs by focusing on problems that do not distract you from your feelings of internal balance. When our fire feels out of place, or as if it has been stolen in some way, we can tend to look at ourselves in too negative a light. Refocusing your gaze on activities and pleasures that act as the Tiger Balm of your psychic muscles will help your recalibration efforts that have been secretly keeping your wires running a bit hot. There is always time to re-compartmentalize the data you’ve invested in, as well as space to enjoy the new ways of thinking that are not-so-secretly your thing. With this watery opening, remember that steam is a great way to open your aura and vent out the pieces of psychic and emotional debris that has been weighing you down. Embracing self-care as the to-do of the day will have your mental streams flowing into all new pockets of intel easily digestible by your system updates.

I hold my words as sacred to me. I’ve learned how powerful my words can be to me, and the world around me. I recall that I can ground my feelings of uncertainty in the changing world around me with my words. I choose empowering words that bring me joy, and let the planetary duels go on without me. I’m a warrior and I use this Solstice Energy to let go and honor the battles of my past by honoring my present. I create a sacred space inside myself to process experiences I have not yet found the words for. I trust the guidance of my intuition, and learn to read my signals in an epic feat of self-discovery, which I can choose to share or keep private. I enjoy a sense of self worth as I remember my growth and honor the goodness of my human nature.

Taurus:

This hot spot of activity in the turning of the wheel could be poking at a few sore spots in your emotional world. It’s best in these situations to watch out for unanticipated hungers and desires that seem forbidden - not because they actually are, but because your system is upgrading naturally to new experiences of pleasure. It’s ok to feel a bit off balance, especially if things in your work/career experience seem too good to be true, or your focus is drawn to the neverending litany of mistakes and errors you’ve been quietly tidying up. The good news is that problem-solving unnecessarily is about to get a facelift of some sort from a mysterious sector of beneficiary energy. In your in-between times of rest and respite, let yourself feel the inherent recharge of the season as a blessing meant especially for you. Laying in the soft pasture of your pastimes is definitely approved of by the Gods at this particular juncture.

I am thirsty for relief in major abstract areas of my life. I am beginning to see dimensions of these abstractions come into focused clarity, and the definitions are a bit jarring. However, as I define my parameters for a healed daily experience of life, a sense of calm greets my future. In this space of duality, I send healing to myself, recognizing that I am an important asset to myself. I do not need worldly praise, although I know I am worthy of it when it appears. In his healed state of grounded ego, I can look at myself with the compassion I’ve been craving to receive from the world outside.

Gemini:

This Solstice is a rare opportunity to return to yourself in all the ways you’ve been craving. You’ve been peeking into your secret closets of spiritual, psychic, and sexual resources and you kinda gotta admit you’ve got a lot to work with. The mirror that your shadow provides has been pointing you down certain rabbit holes of self appreciation and maturity since this past eclipse. You’ve begun to realize that you allow certain Spirits to pass through your gateways, and it is entirely possible to change the passcode on the wormhole’s gateway. Less of a struggle with your duality, your recent healing journeys have brought you to a place of integration and stability in your identities. There may still be things you are not yet ready to look at from the past, but you trust the spiral of the universe will lead you through the experiences necessary to feel as whole as you really are. This Solstice invites you to close the curtains, turn down the volume, and rest into the spirit of curiosity that most piques your fancy today.

I come face to face with my shadow self regularly, and I need not be afraid of my abilities to compartmentalize complex trauma. When I meet my shadow in the world around me, I see an opportunity to integrate my communication methods. I know that I process vast seas of information regularly, and I thrive when I’m consuming a vast array of juicy tidbits. I stop to breathe and enjoy the flowers, and I make sure to look up at the skies above me. I know that wherever I am, I am at home and connected, when I feel comfortable exploring what it means to “be myself”. There’s no reason to fear when others' needs are louder than my own, because I know there are still magic algorithms working in the background to help me navigate. 

Cancer

You’re feeling a bit louder and prouder than you’ve allowed yourself to feel in quite some time. Maybe it has something to do with slaying the dungeon boss on that last level of intergalactic video game of life? Whatever you’ve recently conquered is feeding your home and community, and that is just the panacea for your warrior heart. You’ve swung the hook of Valour on your medicine pack, and it’s no surprise that your shine is quite attractive to the fishies of the sea. You can choose what schools to harvest from, and it’s important to you to be seen and loved for the intellectual matters you bring to the table. Your feelings often inform your thoughts, and you’ve come to understand that might be what’s missing from the world around you right now. Don’t shy away from the beaches or the rays being cast upon your exterior motivations - turns out, you already knew it, they’re the manifestation of your internal work & people can’t help but listen to your come-up!

My sense of self can rapidly shift within myself, and sometimes it feels scary to set boundaries with my own self. I’ve been feeling extra shiny in certain aspects of my sense of self, and I’m becoming more aware of what is mine to offer to the world. When I am confronted by the spirals of the universe, I ground myself in sacred awareness of my connection to the Great Mysteries of life. The depth and breadth of the waters of life call me to define spaces within my ocean of emotions where I can chill, be industrious, communicate authentically, and grow. I give myself a gold star for the growth I’ve made so far in the coral reefs of self restoration.

Leo

You’ve been inspired by the movement of the seasons towards the tone of sunlight that recalls your forthcoming rebirth, Leo. You’ve worked too hard, and too long, and for much too little to not recognize when the Gods themselves are raining down the magical fairy dust of your preference into the spheres of life that need the extra grease to make your motor hum. It’s ok to while away the hours just looking at the flowers at the tea party of your creation. You’ve been looking for a moment to invite a mental list of allies to your inner sepulchre where Kingly rewards await them. This is a pivotal time for recalling the power of your influence on the energies to come for many in your community. Instead of anxiously awaiting the arrival of fortune, you are able to ground yourself in truisms gained from a lifetime of watchful awareness. Tune into the rhythms of your soul to find the right cadence for your upcoming symphony debut.

I carefully test my re-entry to the Pride. I’ve developed a strong sense of community duty, and the fulfillments of those obligations was worth my effort. I can see clearly my impact on my community and feel a sense of grace and ease in the unfolding of this seasonal breeze. I use this eclipse to hunt the horizons of my psychic periphery, knowing that personal boundaries need not be treacherous territory. I am in awe and inspired by the mystery of the circle of life, and I find within this meditation, a place to use my energy for the highest purposes.

Virgo

This Solstice moment brings a recharge to the spaces in your creations that you’ve been abstracting for some time. As the picture becomes more clear, you find yourself refreshed to find that you don’t need to fine-tooth comb-over the facts, details, and opinions flowing through your consciousness. Instead, when you’re able to find the moment inside the moment, you are able to create new portals of connection between your tabulated reference points in time:space reality. You’ve been transversing the realms of the Gods supplicating for keys to unlock gateways even they didn’t know existed. Don’t be discouraged by the roles and archetypes of your family/community centers when you check back in for more data on the status of Love in your life experience, you may be surprise to find the speakers just weren’t set at the right volume. More than anything, the Solstice itself pays honor to your goddess-like stature in the earthly spiritual realm, giving you resources to grow and spread the vines you most wish to cultivate.

When I choose to use time as a mile marker for reflection, I remember to build in new generosity for myself on the next round of self mastery. I don’t apologize for the pace the treadmill of life forced me to run, but I’m willing to accept that the treadmill is transforming and my new experience begins to feel like a cosmic dance. Looking around, I can see the planets and stars are moving to a drum beat I can easily attune with and this helps me move smoothly through the spot-lights I walk under daily. When I shine my torch into the darkness of my fears around perfection, I take a deep breath and accept the quality of my work.

Libra

This Solstice is your chance to balance on the winds of time. The celestial storm clouds will settle the scores you haven’t had the energy to tally up for the cosmic account keepers that knock on your doors of consciousness. Forgiveness is a friend of yours, and you’ve found ways to communicate to this friend your need for space, time, and ultimately: boundaries. Forgetfulness is not a close companion, and you’re being encouraged by the growth of new generations of heart-filled warrior spirits to let your burdens be lightened (at least the psychic ones!). As the earth itself comes into celestial balance in the scales of the universal tow, so your scales of justice meet at just the right angles to allow safe passage for yourself, and others, to a promised land of personal liberation. What this liberation contains is ineffable courage to be and define yourself.

I am a universal quantifier and qualifier, adding the standards of the system I was created to define to the larger collective. I understand that my ability to weigh any situation is informed by the object of the inquiry. I choose to object to judgements that use me as the instrument. I can look at the past scenarios popping up for my attention and level the playing fields of the fair-and-square variety, with the power of my spirit. I use this eclipse to connect with communications & positive influences of the past as I moor my boat and wait for the right time to set sail again. 

Scorpio

On this Summer Solstice you are pleased to discover that all the fairies, gnomes, wee creatures of the land, and other critters of the spiritual realm have accepted your invitation to convene for conference. In the quiet nooks and crannies of your subconscious, to the secret spaces you build and find retreat in, the healers of the land take you by the hand and call you a friend. On this day it would encourage your spirit and charge your secret batteries to find time to whisper to the winds you believe carry prayers. As the elements of nature converge to recreate the Earth for another seasonal spiral, you can be the catalyst for change the more you believe in your power as an animal of the earth. You are learning and evolving at a rapid rate, and this grounded meditation on your connection to the Sacred Circle of Life expands you into the identities waiting for your perfect fit.

As the season rotates, I pay special attention to my early experiences of warmth. I notice where and when it feels sage to share my emotions with others, and find relief in my own solitary experiences of beauty. I am co-creating on multiple layers of my personal and family realities. I tune myself into my power anthems of life to find the right vibrations for my focus on the present. I want to use this eclipse to find hidden caves and nooks where the small things can be appreciated. I am practicing new ways of being with myself and the scenarios my imagination reveals to me as inspiration for an archetype only I can define. 

Sagittarius

This Summer Solstice gets especially toasty as you learn to actualize your various power sources and fuel supplies. You have been the secret scientist of your own soul, and you’ve got a lot of internalized data to download into a worthy project. Although the bumps along the road of the past year have been jolting, you have also realized that this spaceship could have blown a gasket a while ago if you weren’t so good at wielding that long-term magic. In fact, you’re so good at the longer vision, that you’ve been surprised to discover special pockets of untapped potential in stashes of energy you planted for yourself to find along the way. Paired with new discoveries of ancestral investment into your sacred identity, these resources remind you of your potential for growth, and the security you have in the patterns that create successes.

This Solstice I tie a rope to my arrow and go deep sea diving for hidden treasures in the emotional realms. In this underwater kingdom I discover channels of air-pressure release, ventings to let off steam, and ways to safely grow and contain my regenerative fiery spirit. I call on these powers of restorative calmness to empower my missions in life, and command the respect deserving of my very existence. No matter the oaths or promises of the past, I recognize that self-loyalty is a virtue, not a sin: “to thine own self be true”.

Capricorn

The Summer Solstice is a special retreat for you this year, dear Capricorn. You embody the merriment  of Pan along the labyrinth of your inner workings. You’ve been inspired by the tales of the past to create visions for the future, and this Solstice acts as a gateway (not just a path) through the space:time continuum you’ve been awaiting an escape to. But it’s more than an escape, this opening leaves a lingering effect in your psyche, allowing you to bring back medicine from the land of the Giants for the village people awaiting your proclamations. If they’re not listening now, those who have the capacity to tune into your transmissions might be looping back around to catch your vibrations when the Full Moon lights up your sign’s splendor June 24th 2021.

As I reach another pinnacle of self discovery, I allow myself to heal by accepting real love into my mind and heart centers. In this space I allow myself to forgive others in the ways I allow forgiveness for myself. When I reach this reflection within me, I use the light of my higher self to empower my healing journey. I accept that on a journey with no destination, I can take the time I need to view all the peaks, valleys, and pinnacles of life’s successes. I am a free and easy wanderer in my own spiritual way, and this freedom within empowers my daily ritual success. I return to my herd when the signals are right, and share my wandering tales as the bard of my own campfire. 

Aquarius

Although you’ve not so secretly been trying to go hard on yourself through these last few eclipses, you can give Saturn a place to chill out of the heat of the Solstice Sun by recognizing the work you’ve accomplished against all odds. Your sacrifices need a special space to be honored in during this seasonal shift, and you’d be wise to water your soul with the sounds, sights, and feelings that make you want to cross any horizon for the abstract experiences your soul has been craving. Instead of contrast, this Solstice celebration brings you vibrations of hues, tones, and shapes that give focused healing to the centers of your mental staples that feel un-pronged. You may want to create a pillow fort where your inner child can let out their emotions, so that you can discover the words you’ve been searching for. Things feel less topsy turvy when the spirit world is partying with everyone else, and it's ok to use this moment to isolate the things that mean the most to you. It’s not like you ever really check out anyway, so when you do allow yourself the journeys of internal dreaming, know you’re safe to do so.

As I watch the clouds traversing the skies, I’m reminded that expansion is a friend of mine. I’ve learned to hone my vibrational awareness and I tune out or eradicate frequencies within & without myself to conquer my fears. I am a cosmic warrior of superb proportions and to unwarily go sparring is not a quest I seek. I seek to conquest the unknown regions of myself, and strive to make room for myself during these gemstone level uploads, downloads, and reprogramming. I make sure that I have plenty of water for the gardens of my consciousness, and I feel safe knowing the good seeds I’ve planted within myself were worth sowing and cultivating.

Pisces

You know how to move information along the waterways of the human experience. Through your feelings you make small ripples find their waves and wash into the right bays. This Solstice the water magic meets-up, harmonizing with the deep resources Earth holds for our continuous growth. You can be sure that your wells won’t be drying up anytime soon, and that your internal psychic resources have a part to play in that. When you take time to name the gifts that others rarely do, you give those gifts permission to grow. Right now your gifts of many flavors and varieties are ripening on the trees and bushes you’ve cultivated in your personal emotional and spiritual Oasis. This Solstice as the sun casts its haze into the deserts of your life, notice how the heat waves keep your temples of beauty hidden, and where the shadows cast are hidden passageways meant for future exploration. In this sacred matrix of rejuvenated protection, the Solstice asks you to enjoy your own personal genius. 

I’ve been shedding pieces of myself in the past:present that is allowing fuel for the passion of purpose in my life. I am a philosopher of Eudaimonia, and I find new ways of flourishing regularly. My energetic pulse sends out ripples of shift, growth, and change simply through my existence here on this planetary mass called Earth. I am aware that my very nature asks me to speak my message on the waves of the moon’s scheduled tides. I am no stranger to emotionally informed phenomena and I can speak clearly to the nuances of my school of fishes. I’m my own iconic merecreature, and my propensity for spirit connection guides me to new healing modalities that build this freedom kingdom within me. 

[secretlynestaarcheron]

Chapter Fifteen + Sixteen

The Selection Au -acotar 

Thank you for all of your patience. 

tagged: @justgiu12 @blxckbeaks @justabunchoffandoms @swagbookmaster @my-fan-side @heyitsrhysand @acourtofmarauders h

Chapter Fifteen: Nesta 

Nesta opens the door slightly out of breath, kicking the luggage that was still by the door farther into the living room. “You’re acting like you’ve never had a conversation with him,” Cassian retorts behind her with an eye roll. 

“Shut up,” she murmurs, and he lets out a loud laugh. She had never heard him actually laugh before just sarcastic chuckles here and there. “This is my home, he’s meeting my family, I was nervous for you to meet them too.” 

He raises an eyebrow but before he can say anything else she throws the door open. “Oh Nesta, I didn’t realize you would be here,” Liz says, before holding up a basket. “My mom wanted me to bring over some food for the girls, I am glad you here!” 

She motions for her to come in, closing the door behind her, as she turns she sees Elain peeking around the corner and Feyre leaning against the doorframe cutting up her french toast, at least she was using a plate this time. 

“Cassian, this is Liz, her family owns the bakery by my work,” Nesta says to Cassian before turning towards Liz, “Liz , this is Cassian, he’s a captain of the guard for the palace.” 

She falls into a curtsey quickly and Nesta wants to laugh at the expression on his face, she assumes he had never had any curtsey to him before and he wasn’t quite sure what to do. “That's really not necessary,” he retorts. 

There's another knock and Nesta turns on her heel to answer it as Liz moves to the kitchen. Liz says something but Feyre shushes her and Elain explains that they were waiting for the prince. “Nesta! Our lovely Nesta, it’s so good to see you! We’ve been watching you on the television!” Ms Cohen as she pushes into the doorway followed by another lady holding a basket. 

Cassian stands straighter as the woman pushes through but Nesta waves her hand. “These are my neighbors, Ms Blain and Ms Cohen,” Nesta explains. 

“Who is this tall drink of water,” Ms Cohen says, making a show of looking him up and down which makes him more uncomfortable than he already was. “I would have guessed the prince but I know the television doesn’t add that much muscle.” 

Ms Blain rolls her eyes and looks over at Nesta, “We just wanted to bring some food over for your sisters, we had no idea you would be here,” Ms Blain replies. Nesta knew how gossip-y they both were, they probably saw the car sitting outside of her house and wanted to come and see if the prince was here. 

“Oh what is that smell? You must be having guests,” Ms Cohen says, making her way to the kitchen. Ms Blain smiles apologetically at her before following her into the kitchen. She can hear Ms Cohen critiquing and complimenting all the food as she tried it. 

“Welcome to my life, you will not get any privacy even if you wanted it,” Nesta explains to Cassian, feeling exasperated. As the day progressed more neighbors and people that Nesta knew came where it got to the point that you were constantly brushing shoulders with someone. 

Nesta escaped to the backyard, sitting amongst the flowers that Elain had been working on while she was gone. “Rhysand called, there were a few things his dad wanted him to finish up but he’s getting on a plane now,” Cassian says, coming out to find her out in the garden. “You aren’t much of a party person, are you?”

She shrugs, “It’s more so that I was feeling claustrophobic, and I know that none of those people are here for me, my family, or even my dad. They’re here for a glimpse of the prince, or the chance to be on television,” she replies, leaning back on her elbow and staring up at the sky. 

“Do you want me to kick them out? I can tell them it’s a safety hazard,” Cassian offers. 

She shakes her heads at the suggestion, “No, it’s okay, I just needed some air,” she replies, rolling an idea in her head before saying. “Would it be a safety hazard if I went on a walk? The palace is great and everything but I really missed my run down town.”

He laughs and then pretends to mull over the idea. “That could probably be arranged, especially if you have the Captain of the guard escorting you,” he replies as he reaches forward to help her stand, she rolls her eyes at the comment but reaches forward for his hand.

“Are you okay?” he asks as they make their way down the road. 

She shrugs, kicking at a rock, as she looks over at him. “Yeah, I will be. I guess it’s just hitting me that he’s really gone, I always hoped that he would wake up one day and be the father he used to be,” she replies, looking off into the distance as the sun began to set. “It’s not helping that none of those people are actually there for my father or even me, they’re there in case they have a chance to be televised.” 

He’s quiet as he listens to her ramble, she’s glad, she didn’t think she could handle him trying to comfort her. She wanted to be angry at the world even if it was unjustly. He wasn’t pushing her to share, she didn’t really know why she was sharing to begin with. The more time she spent with him the more comfortable she was becoming. 

“When it rained all the kids on the street used to come out and jump around in the potholes,” she says, looking up and down the street. It was the only time she felt like a kid growing up, taking off their shoes and rolling up their pants as they splashed around. 

“You weren’t worried about getting hit?” he asks, as he examines the street as they cross, going towards the town. 

“No one can afford cars around here and those who could don’t come around here,” she replies, pointing towards the first shop. “That’s where I would pick up some sewing work, the paint is chipping on the window but that was the first painting Feyre did publicly. Mr Gregory saw her painting the walls of our house when he stopped by to drop off some work for me and commissioned her to paint for him. He couldn’t give much but he let her keep the extra paint,” she says as they move past it. 

She watches as he studies it for a moment, a ghost of a smile on his lips as he says, “She’s very talented.” 

“Yeah, she is. She tried to teach me but my cats always turned into blobs of paint, I eventually gave up,” Nesta retorts as she points to the next house. “That’s the bakery where Liz’s parents work, one year for her birthday we were invited over and we got to bake cookies. We were supposed to decorate them with icing but we all ate it while the cookies baked. Our faces and clothes were stained blue.” 

“That’s where I waitress,” she says pointing to the last building on the row. It was a dull grey building with barely any windows, the sign in the front was crooked. She felt more embarrassed showing him than she did her own home. 

“That’s where you met Tomas?” He asks, she watches as he examines the establishment. He was probably thinking the same thing that she was, why someone of his status and ego would be found frequenting a bar in caste seven that looked like that. 

She shrugs, looking away and back towards where they came from. It was getting late and they should probably start heading back. “Unfortunately,” she replies as they begin to make their way back to her house. She hoped everyone was gone by the time they got back. 

They walk in silence for a bit, she wonders if he thought she had anything to do with the rebel attacks. It had to be suspicious that she knew someone so involved without realizing it. She wraps her arms around herself in the night breeze sending a chill through her. 

“Here,” he says, unbuttoning his jacket and handing it to her. He seemed so assertive she didn’t want to say no and she’s grateful she didn’t as she slips her arms into the warmth. 

She smiles gratefully. “Not to make myself sound like a guilty party but I heard rumors about rebels recruiting around here, I never made the connection with Tomas until he showed up that night. I thought he was here for-,” she trails off but he gives her a confused look.  “For other business.” 

“What other business?” He eyes her confused, until realization dawns on him he looks away. “Oh, I get it.” he says, pulling at the collar of his shirt. She hadn’t seen him this fluster before, even when Liz tried to curtsey to him he hadn’t gotten this red. 

“I didn’t,” she replies, she felt like she had to say that in case he went back to the prince with this information but with this new revelation sent him into another wave of fluster. “We were never bad enough that I had to think about doing anything.” 

“I didn’t think- I wasn’t-,” he pauses trying to collect himself as they make their way up to her front door. “I wouldn’t have judged you if you had,” he finally says and she can see that he means it. There’s something behind his eyes that tells her there’s more to the story. 

She turns to open the door but pauses turning quickly to face him, “Thank you,” she says, swallowing as she realizes how close he was to her. Her cheeks burned and she blamed it on the brisk air. “Not just for the walk, but for listening to me.” 

He shrugs as if it wasn’t a big deal but it was to her. She never opened up like anyone but there was something about him that made her feel safe. Was this what she was missing? What she didn’t feel with Rhysand. Why she knew that Rhysand wasn’t meant for her. 

“I’ll always be here if you need someone to talk to, especially when we go back to the palace,” he says, pulling her out of thoughts. He was close enough to her that she could feel his breath against her skin. She wanted to turn away but she couldn’t, she felt drawn towards him as her eyes flicker from his stare to his lips. 

The door behind her opens and she falls backwards, he quickly grabs her elbow to steady her and she turns to see Elain standing in the door apologetically. “I am so sorry Nes, I didn’t realize you were back! I was just going to get some firewood,” Elain says, gesturing to the pile by the side of the house. 

“I’ll go grab it,” Cassian says as cool and collected as ever, maybe he wasn’t about to kiss her. Maybe he was just offering to listen whenever she needed to as a friend. Her cheeks burned from embarrassment. She was glad that Elain looked clueless as to what was about to happen. 

“I didn’t know when you would be back,” Elain says as she moves from the door to allow Nesta to step into the house. Nesta turns to see Rhysand sitting criss cross on the floor with Feyre sitting across from him with a smug smile. 

“Feyre has graciously been teaching me how to play a card game,” Rhysand announces as he stands up. Feyre stands up along with him and nudges him in the elbow as she says, “Saved by the bell, you were able to lose for the-,” she pretends to count on her fingers, “The sixth time?” 

He rolls his eyes and it was weird for Nesta to see him in this type of environment. It was like he was a normal teenage boy, no titles or crowns. She wonders how Feyre could be so confident with him. She never saw her open up to someone this quickly before. 

Cassian walks up behind her, holding a couple logs for the fire, she moves out of his way quickly. “My apologies, I’ll implement the game war into all of my counsel meetings now. I’ll be a pro in no time,” he retorts his voice dripping in sarcasm as he looks over at Nesta. His eyes fall downwards and she realizes that she’s still wearing Cassian’s coat as his eyes trail towards Cassian and how they were acting towards one another. 

“I want to marry whoever made these biscuits-,” A tall blonde with bright eyes and a red dress pauses mid-bite as she walks through the door leading to the kitchen. Nesta recognized it as the girl that made Cassian laugh at the first impressions.

She glances behind her as Cassian raises an eyebrow and smiles at the newcomer. “Mor? What are you doing here?” Cassian asks as he takes the few steps to embrace the girl. Nesta ignores how her cheeks burn and she hopes that no one notices her embarrassment. 

She slips off the coat, the cold air hitting her arms as she drops the coat on the chair. She moves past the Cassian and Mor muttering something about making tea. She wished she could just crawl under her covers and wake up from this nightmare she created. 

Chapter Sixteen: Cassian 

“Rhysand mentioned he was heading out of the palace for a few days and I had to come along,” Mor says to Cassian as she looks around the room. “Feyre and Elain have offered me the extra room while Rhysand bunks out here with you, isn’t life great?” 

Rhysand pipes up from where he was playing cards and says, “It’ll just be like old times,” he says smiling mischievously at Cassian but when Feyre makes a satisfied noise he looks down his mischievous smile quickly slipping into a frown. “I had good cars this time!” 

She smiles smugly, “Just not as good as mine,” she replies with a shrug turning to face them. “Anyone wanna join? I am starting to feel bad.” 

“I will!” Mor says, moving to sit on the floor. She looks back up at Cassian, “You joining?” He looks back towards the kitchen where he could hear Nesta moving around. He wanted to talk to her but Mor reached a hand out and pulled him towards the group. “Come on, one game, it’ll be fun for all of us to beat Rhysand.” 

Cassian sits down relentlessly, glancing up at the doorway ever so often to see if Nesta would appear. “Here,” Feyre says reaching forward and handing him a stack of cards. “I’ll teach a new game, hopefully Rhysand will be a little bit better at this one. It’s all about catching bluffs, as a prince you should be able tell right?” 

Cassian notices how Rhysand’s eyes linger for a moment as she continues to hand out the rest of the cards oblivious to his stare. Cassian raises an eyebrow as Rhysand glances towards him, he frowns looking back down to his cards as if he was a kid caught stealing from the cookie jar. 

Feyre begins to explain the rules as Nesta walks back into the room holding a book and a mug of tea, she sits down on the sofa next to Elain who was still attending to the fire. Cassian glances at the books she was opening and realized it was one of the ones he had dropped off for Nesta teaching about Prythian Folklore. 

He turns back as Feyre announces that they are ready to start and sees Mor staring at him quizzically. He wonders if this was how Rhysand just felt when Cassian had caught him in the act, he holds her gaze but she shakes her head and looks back at her cards. 

They continued playing cards but he wasn’t focused, his mind on what Mor knew or what she thought she knew and how Nesta was feeling after their possible kiss. He regretted it but only based on the fact that his foolishness could lead to Nesta being killed for treason. 

They finish a couple rounds before Mor announces she’s going to bed, Feyre and Elain follow suit, cleaning up the game and disappearing into their room. Nesta follows behind, heading into the kitchen, to clean up the baskets that were brought earlier.

He follows her while Rhysand heads into the washroom. “Are you alright?” he asks for his own selfish purposes, he wanted to know what she thought whatever happened out there was. He wanted to know if she felt it too, the connection between the two of them, the fact he knew even thinking about her the way he thought about her was against the rules of the selection. 

She shrugs, her back still facing him as she pulls the food out of the baskets and places it on the table. “I think the day is just getting to me, I feel a migraine coming on,” she replies and Cassian makes note that she didn’t mention him at all. Not that she should or that it would even be in her best interest to profess her love for him, was it love? Is he delusional? He shakes the thoughts, he was quickly spiralling out of control when they’ve only had a few serious conversations together. 

“Do you need help?” He asks, stepping forward, she shifts away from him as she feels his presence. He got his answer, she didn’t want anything to do with him, she probably never did. 

“No, I am alright,” her voice low and quiet as she moves the contacts of the basket to their respectful places in the pantry. “It’ll be good for me to have a moment to clear my head, I haven’t had time to fully comprehend everything that happened.” 

He wishes she was talking about what had happened with them but then he realizes how selfish that is when her family has just suffered a loss, although he was cruel towards Nesta it must be hard for him to think of him as being gone without a chance to say goodbye. “Okay, I’ll be out there if you need anything.” he nods towards the doorway and hopes that she’ll at least look at him. 

She doesn’t. So he turns on his heel and heads back out in the living room where Rhysand has already sprawled out on the couch. “Hope you don’t mind, I am a prince after all,” Rhysand mutters half asleep as he waves down to the floor where he put one blanket and a pillow. “At least I didn’t leave you with nothing.” 

Cassian doesn’t reply, just lays down on the floor staring up at the ceiling, his ears straining for every movement in the kitchen. 

~*~

“Wakey wakey eggs and bakey.” Cassian blinks up at the light while Mor crouches over him smiling as she pokes his shoulder, nudging him awake. “Rhysand had a full royal breakfast sent over, Feyre has practically eaten it all so if you want some you better get up now.” 

Cassian pushes himself into a sitting position and looks around the room. The sun was already beaming through the windows and he could hear people chatting in the kitchen. Feyre pops her head in, “Rhysand wants a tour of the town, you guys coming?” she asks as she pulls on a pair of muddy boots. 

“Do you really have to put those on now? You’ll track mud all over the place,” Nesta calls from where she was in the kitchen. Feyre rolls her eyes as she finishes tying the shoelaces and turns back towards the kitchen. He couldn’t help but analyze her tone, she didn’t seem angry or even upset, he wondered if that would change once he saw her awake. 

“Come on, get ready,” Mor replies, standing up and dusting off the jeans she was wearing. He raises an eyebrow at the sight, Mor loved her fancy dresses. “Stop looking at me like that, Elain let me borrow a pair. Now, get dressed. I am going to grab you some food.” 

He rolls his eyes and stands up as she moves towards the kitchen. He heads into the washroom to get ready and by the time he gets out Nesta and Rhysand are heading down the road, Feyre and Elain behind them, and Mor waiting by the porch with a sack of food. 

He takes it from her as she puts an arm through his. “So,” she announces as they begin down the road. He watches Nesta point out the buildings she had done yesterday with him to Rhysand. Feyre would chime in every once and a while and Rhysand would look back at her with a sparkle in his eye. “What’s going on with Nesta?” 

He pauses, looking over at Mor who was examining him, she wanted to see what his reaction was when she said that and he practically handed her his obvious feelings on a silver platter. “I am not sure what you mean,” he says, his face stoic as he looks ahead. “She’s a part of the selection, I get paid to protect them, what else do you need to know?” 

She chuckles shaking her head. “I am not an idiot, Cas. Anyone could tell that Elain caught you two in some kind of act,” she retorts. 

“We were not in some kind of act, I was walking her home because she didn’t want to be in her dead father’s house surrounded by people that didn’t care,” he replies, but he remembers the look Rhysand gave him as they walked in and saw that she was wearing his jacket. However, Cassian had seen his eyes linger a little too long on Feyre last night while playing cards. 

“Cassian, I’ve known you for a while now-,” she begins, and he can't help but roll his eyes. Just because they grew up together she thought she knew ever thought that went through his mind. She was right but he didn’t want her to know that. “And I can see right through of your lies. You should tell him.”

He looked up at Rhysand who had fallen back to walk next to Feyre, Nesta was still looking towards them and describing everything around them. He wondered if she didn’t care or if she didn’t see how much Rhysand had taken to Feyre. “Yes Mor, let me confess my non-existent feelings for a selected girl to my friend who is the one that technically owns her. So that we both die of treason.” 

“Rhysand wouldn’t turn you in,” Mor replies in an obvious tone. Rhysand wasn’t what Cassian was afraid of. They walk down the road and Cassian see’s a black car sitting in front of the house. As they get closer he hears Rhysand say, “I’ll have a visit arranged soon. Azriel, our grounds keeper would gladly show you around the grounds,” he finishes talking to Feyre and turns towards Elain. “He also takes care of the garden.” 

Elain smiles in thanks as Rhysand turns towards Nesta. “I’ll see you soon back at the palace?” he asks. 

Nesta pauses and Cassian finds himself holding his breath. He didn’t realize there would be a chance that she wouldn’t return. He finds her watching her every movement, letting out a sigh as she nods her head. “Once we finish moving I’ll be back,” she replies. 

He smiles before finally turning towards Mor and Cassian. “Are you staying?” he asks Mor. 

She turns towards Cassian before nodding at Rhysand. “I think I’ll stick around, this is much more entertaining than anything at the palace,” she pipes up. 

“Good, I’ll see you soon then. A word, Cassian,” Rhysand says and they walk around to the other side of the car. “I want you to stay as well. Help them move then escort Nesta back to the palace. I am not sure how the crowds will react to a selected girl moving alone.” 

Cassian glances over at Nesta who was watching them intently but turns away quick when she sees him looking. He sighs turning towards Rhysand, he probably didn’t want her anywhere near him. “I have a lot of work to do back at the palace, I’ll send my best guards,” he replies. 

Rhysand shakes his head, “This wasn’t a request, this was a demand,” he replies, and Cassian eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Rhysand was his boss technically but he had never ordered him to do anything. “I want you to be happy, Cas. You’re my best friend. You need to be here.” 

Cassian opens his mouth to ask what that meant but Rhysand steps into the car and slams the door behind him. The car quickly moves down the street and Cassian is left standing across from Nesta, the other girls already inside getting ready to pack. 

“You’re staying?” she asks. 

He looks down towards the road where his ride was already almost out of sight. “It looks that way,” he replies and because he can’t help but crack a joke he adds, “You’re stuck with devilishly handsome captain for a few more days.” Which earns him a small smile from Nesta.

[mhdiaries]

Wave 4 Venus McFlytrap Diary

9*9

Today I got in trouble for not paying attention in class. It’s not like I wasn’t interested in what Mr. Hackington was saying but after a week of clouds and rain the sun was calling my name. Shouting it actually - “HEY VENUS - YEAH YOU MCFLYTRAP! DON’T JUST SIT THERE LIKE A POTTED PLANT GET OUT HERE!” I HATE IT WHEN THE SUN SHOUTS AT ME; SO RUDE AND STISTRTACTING. Plus Mr. Hack’s classroom is so cold and dank. Not exactly the kind of place where a ghoul wants to put down roots. Good thing I knew I knew the answer to the question Mr. Hack was asking, even if I didn’t hear it the first time he asked me. “Photosynthesis!” “That’s correct Ms. McFlytrap… did you know or guess?” What I wanted to say was, “Oh, was that the answer?” I though I was placing my lunch order.” Instead I just pointed to my notes, which seemed to satisfy him for the moment. Mom always says, “Be a flower not a weed.” Of course the difference between a flower and a weed depends on the gardener. Whoa. I’m not even sure what that means but next time mom tells me not to be a weed I’m going try it out on her and see what happens.

9*15

I went outside to eat lunch today and saw Operetta sitting under a tree playing her guitar. I walked over to ask if she minded me sitting down to listen and she immediately stopped playing. She looked up at me and wrapped her arms around her guitar like she thought I was going to try and take it from her, “This guitar was made for me by my best friend out of ah hard rock maple tree that blew down in a storm and I ain’t about to apologize or give her up for one made from recycled plastic bottles so you can just save your speeches.” She really hurt my feelings but I wasn’t about to let her see me wilt so I yelled back, “I don’t care what your dumb old guitar is made of I was just going to ask if I could sit here and listen to you play!” She looked surprised at first then she threw her head back and laughed! “All right, all right pull in your thorns ghoul friend and have a seat.” I sat down and she played. She is scary good. I told her being a plant monster means I get all my nourishment from the soil, air and water around me so living in a clean environment is important. I know it may seem selfish but I bet if other monsters saw garbage being dumped into something they were about to eat they’d be all up in claws too and it’s not like I want to build a big fence around the outdoors so no other  monsters can enjoy it cause that wouldn’t be fair either. But I don’t think it’s too much to ask for monsters to throw something that can be recycled into the recycling bin and not treat the environment like their own personal trash  can. Operetta said, “I reckon I see your point but I’ve also seen you do that pollen think to monsters who don’t agree with you an no monster wants to feel like they’re being manipulated into doing something even if it’s something good and that’s why some of ‘em run whey they see you coming.” Whoa. Then she told me why she doesn’t sing in front of audiences. “Monsters who hear me sing live will believe and do whatever I tell ‘em to just like they do for you – only they’ll keep doing it till I tell them to stop.” I almost laughed but I realized she was dead serious. “Now I reckon I could be the biggest music star in the monster world with that ability but I’d rather my music be listened to cause it really is the best not just because I tell monsters it is.” I guess I see her point too.

9*19

I guess I’m getting adjusted to Monster High but it hasn’t exactly been easy. Probably cause I’m really not very good at going along just to get along. Even when I was just a little sprout I wanted to do things my own way. Like one time these monster aphids infested my whole class but instead of using that nasty shampoo or letting my mom comb them out of my hair I totally pruned my head. I looked like a dandelion that had lost its seeds for a while, but at least I didn’t have aphids anymore. I even decided the pruned look was scary cool so I kept it that way on the one side. At my old school all the classes were taught outside so that we were always in our element so to speak. Being indoors all day was really making me droopy but I didn’t want any monster to think that I was some kind of fainting violet cause I’m not. Lagoona must have noticed though cause she told me that I should go talk to Headmistress Bloodgood and let her know I was having a problem. I was like, whoa. I didn’t really want to cause the last time I had to go see her was when she caught me using my pollens of persuasion to make Meowlody and Purrsephone pull aluminum cans from the regular trash and put them in the recycling bin. I got a very long lecture on the need for self-control, and assignment for an even longer paper on the ends not justifying the means, and I had to apologize. Lagoona kept bugging me until I finally made an appointment with the Headmistress. She told me her old assistant was a plant monster and she turned a supply cabinet into a special grow room with lights that mimicked the sun . Headless Headmistress gave me the key and said I could use it any time I was feeling droopy. Amazing,… just amazing.

10*2

I had my meeting with Mr. D’eath, the school guidance counselor today. He wasn’t there when I got there so I had to wait for him. I wasn’t really looking forward to it at all. He always seems to be sighing about something and he cracks his knuckles… a lot. It sounds like dry branches snapping which is like claws on a chalkboard to me. The other day I overheard Miss Kindergrubber telling Mr. Hackington that unlife had not been very kind to Mr. D’eath this year and that lately he was looking more gaunt than usual. I’m not sure how that could even be possible. Of course Miss. K. is always telling some monster to eat cause they’re just “skin and bones”. Guess it must be a prerequisite for her job. Anyway, Mr. D’eath’ss office always smells like herbal tea… can’t really even think about that… and his walls are covered with motivational posters. There’s one with this troll sitting on top of a bridge instead of underneath it that says, “Don’t be afraid of a new perspective.” Whoa. Deep. I’m sure they’re supposed to be profound and encouraging but they’re really not my kind of fertilizer. There was also a picture of him and some other teachers white water rafting down the River Styx. It would take a pretty penny for me to do that. He finally came in with my records, sat down and started flipping through them:

Hmm… okay… I see… oh ho! Well Miss Yelps I think you have a bright future and, if I may confide in you for a moment, over the years a job like mine can make one rather brittle. It gets so discouraging when students don’t listen to my advice especially after all my years of education and seminars which I am beginning to suspect are taught by monsters whose last interaction with students was back in the day of the quill and inkwell. You mention something as simple as an iCoffin and they look at you like you’re speaking zombie… no offense.

He went on about how according to my permanent file I, (Ghoulia), could go to any poison ivy league school that I wanted. He said some other really nice things about me (her.) and then gave me a bunch of college brochures. He told me it had been a real pleasure and that I could come back any time. I didn’t have the heart to correct his error so I just moaned and shuffled out. I’ll probably get in trouble for it later but I’ll sit on that bridge when I come out from under it.

10*15

I got some new art pencils today so I did some sketches of Chewlian who wasn’t being very cooperative. I think he was mad that I closed my window when I went to school. He likes me to leave it open in hopes that lunch will come creeping, crawling or flying into my room. I don’t like bugs nearly as much as he does though and sometimes I forget and close it. I finally had to tell him that I’d let him spend the day out by the compost heap if he’d be still. He was pretty good after that and I was happy with the results.

11*15

When I got called into Headmistress Bloodgood’s office, last week, I was thinking it was because she found out about my appointment with Mr. D’eath but it turned out to be an “opportunity for growth” that would involve me rooting myself in a face painting booth at the middle school carnival. So today I sat in a booth with Draculaura turning werewolves into zombies, vampires into skeletons, zombies into Dead Fast… okay that was just Ghoulia… and cute little ghouls into “scary” normies. Draculaura was happy to do all the kittens, bats with pink bows and the occasional full on mini-makeover although it was mostly the moms who requested those. It also gave me a perfect audience to talk about the importance of keeping the world around us clean. Then we got to watch Robecca, who is a wonder of sustainability, do an amazing stunt. Whoa. It was really scary cool. I think every monster from that time on wanted me to turn them into a robot. Lagoona and Gil even came by and Gil let me paint his helmet to make it look al steam punkish. Not sure I did any growing but I got to spend time in the sun with my beasties, use my art skills and maybe plant some seeds about taking better care of the world around us.

[wonderland-irwin]

Neighbour!Ashton

Word Count: 1862

Warnings: None

Summary: Bella gets locked out of her house when a cheeky friend from her past pops up to her assistance.

A/N: This may become a bigger story, I’m not sure what will happen. Let’s see how much people like this one! Neighbour!Ashton is not the title, its the current concept lol until I find a title. Enjoy! Let me know if you want me to continue this story line! If you wanna be tagged in other parts, let me know! (Also I tried to remove unnecessary commas! I edited the best I could)

~*~*~

Unable to get my feet under me, I slipped on the towel I’d placed on the bathroom floor instead of the bathmat and as I fell to the floor, I grabbed the towel rack for aid, and it crashed loudly beside me. Muttering curses under my breath I stood, snatching the nearest towel and wrapping it around myself. 

I fumbled with the lock in the door knob, then once I finally got it open, I hurled myself into the hall. Why was I never able to do anything? All I’d wanted was a shower to wipe the thin layer of sweat I could feel over my entire body off, but I’d barely stepped in and the dogs had begun to bark and howl at something.

I crashed down the stairs, spooking Olive, our grey tabby, and I raced into the front living room. Our shih-tzu’s - a breed of small dog that should be rather chil, however ours were far from - Peekley and Mushroom were standing on the back of the couch in the bay window, heads thrown back barking as loud as they could. 

“Hey!” I hollered, pulling my towel tighter around myself, “shut up!” Usually when they did this there was a person walking past with a dog or the poor paperboy. The dogs refused to stop, and I collapsed on the couch, leaning over them to pull the curtain back. Their barking was slightly valid when I saw the white mail van pull away from our house. 

“Stop,” I hissed at the dogs as the van drove around the crescent. They were usually good with their barking and stopping, but sometimes they got excessive. It was ridiculous.

I pat to the front door, pulling it open, stepping into the hot summer’s day, then pulling the door shut to keep the air conditioning in. There was barely a cloud in the sky and those home during the day were doing garden work. I grinned when I saw the box on the bottom step. A few days ago I had made a large order of novels I had wanted to read on my summer break, and it seemed to have arrived. I expected it to arrive at the house’s mailbox down the road, but it was so big that they had to deliver it right to our doorstep.

Adjusting the towel around me again, I bent to pick the package up when I heard the front door click shut. I shot up, sprinting up the steps and trying to push the door open. It rattled and I cursed. Our front door had an automatic lock that could only open with a key. My dad worked for a lock company and was testing it on our door, and long story short the thing was useless. 

“C’mon,” I begged, rattling the door. It refused to budge and my key was hanging on the hook by the front closet. The dogs started barking from the window, and I shouted for them to stop, the horror that it was mid-afternoon and I was stuck outside in my front garden in nothing but a towel was occupying my mind. I realized I may have left the back door unlocked, and I leapt from the porch, adjusted my towel yet again and darted down the cobblestone pathway, across the hot driveway and up the side of my house to the gate. I reached over to find the hook on the gate, then my stomach turned hollow as my fingers brushed a hard padlock fastened to the hook.

I cursed, balling my hands into fists and I stormed back to the front door. As soon as my dad got home from work I would demand he remove that lock and burn whatever prototypes his company had created. What an awful design.

My parents weren’t going to be home until that evening, and my sister was out with her friends at the amusement park. I was going to be stuck out there forever. 

“Bella?”

I whirled around, grabbing the top of my towel and clutching it to my chest in protection. I stared at the person. It was Ashton. I hadn’t seen Ashton or spoken to Ashton in years. He lived across the street, and we’d grown up as best friends. We got to high school and interests changed, our lives got busier, and we started to drift apart. I missed him sometimes. Sometimes someone would remind me of him, or I’d see him when he was home from college in the dark hours of the night lit by the street lights riding his yellow trick bike in aimless circles. Sometimes I saw his posts on Instagram, or I’d simply just think about him. And I missed him.

But mostly I tried to push that missing feeling away. Tried to pretend it didn’t exist.

“Hi,” I said quietly, staring at him. He was the same as the last time we spoke, which was at our high school graduation and our mothers demanded a picture of the two of us together. He still wore dark jeans and ripped band tees. He still wore black converse. Still had those pretty hazel eyes I knew every girl gushed over. He was a little older, had a couple of tattoos, but he was still recognizable as my old Ashton. 

“You okay?”

Mm, he still also had that cheeky grin. 

His eyes roamed up and down me, and I felt briefly violated before realizing he wasn’t looking at me in a way that meant he wanted to rip my towel off. He was being his usual cheeky self, and was probably very concerned why I was out in the street in my towel.

“It’s a whole thing,” I told him, “but my dad’s stupid lock locked me out of the house.”

“Ah,” he nodded. I nodded in return because I felt awkward, and a silence fell between us.

“Why don’t you come over to my place until your parents get home,” he offered.

I raised my eyebrow, “are you sure?”

“Of course. You’re  family.”

“Thanks.”

I adjusted my towel again, and took the steps slowly. Ashton scooped up my large box of books and quirked his eyebrow at me as he tucked it behind a planter on my porch.

“Books?”

I smiled, “of course!” He chuckled as we made our way across the street to his house.

“The water droplets on your shoulders sparkling in the sun are very pretty, Bella,” he said as we walked up his front porch and he opened the door for me to step through.

“Oh,” I said as he pulled the door shut, feeling off guard, “um, thank you.”

He flashed another smile before calling out to his mum, “Bella’s over!”

Ms. Irwin appeared from the kitchen with wide eyes, “Bella?”

I wondered when the last time was that Ashton and I stepped through the Irwin’s front door like this.

“Hi Ms. Irwin,” I waved, my face flushing.

She beamed, “hi, Sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m fine,” I nodded, “you?”

She just nodded and said, “you two be good,” before disappearing again.

Ashton rolled his eyes with a grin before putting a hand on my back between my shoulder blades and guided me towards the stairs. As we climbed, I looked at the photographs that lined the wall of Ashton and his little sister and brother. There were photos that had been hanging there for as long as I could remember, but some, like school photos, now showed them as older kids, Ashton as an adult. 

There was one photo that made my heart stutter. It was Ashton and I when we were about six. We were at the zoo, sitting on a bench laughing, my head on his shoulder, his head against mine. We each held a melting popsicle, the red and pink syrup all over our hands, around our mouths and on our chins. I don’t think a photo has been taken of me where I’ve looked that happy since.

“I love this photo.” I pointed it out.

“Yeah,” Ashton who had been at the top of the stairs, hopped down the last few to join me, “that was a fun

day.” 

We looked at it for a moment, then continued to Ashton’s room. I laughed when I entered.

“What?” He asked, rummaging around his closet.

“Ashton, it looks the same!” I wandered around the room. The room itself was painted a dark blue. Ashton’s bed was unmade, clothes were in piles on the floor. He had a desk, where his laptop sat, and in one corner his drum kit, the other a black bean bag chair. Knick knacks and odd belongings sat on shelves and in odd spaces on the floor.

“Like yours doesn’t?” He grinned, passing me one of his t-shirts. 

“Okay,” I laughed, “it might be.” My room was still purple and green. The doll house my dad had made me that I made Ashton play with me numerous times still sat on its shelf. I still had fragments of LEGO upon my shelves. My books cluttered every corner. Posters from movies and musicians covered my walls.

He chuckled, moving to his drawer and rummaging around. I pulled on his shirt, a Guns N Roses shirt with minimal holes, and pulled it down as far as it could go. Ashton passed me a pair of boxers, and sat at his desk as I pulled them on and ditched my towel on his floor.

I felt better now I wore clothes and stepped over to him. Folding my arms across my chest, I leant over his shoulder to see what he was doing. A message appeared on the screen once he’d logged in, and he clicked it.

_dirtycliffo: log in!

I grinned, “Ashton, is that Michael?” I hadn’t talked to our old friends  in a long time.

“Yes,” he frowned, typing back.

weeniebeanie: no

I suddenly exploded with laughter, clutching at my stomach. Then I leant over his shoulder so I could see his face.

“You still have your screen names from eighth grade?”

“Yes,” Ashton grumbled. He was avoiding looking at me, but I could see in his eyes he was smiling.

weeniebeanie: i hate that game

_dirtycliffo: c’mon. Luke n cal also suck

bread: heyy

“You still act like you're in grade eight too,” I laughed, resting my chin on Ashton’s shoulder as he logged into the game.

“Here,” he said, passing me a headset that was on his deck, “listen in.”

I twisted the headphones so we could both hear and Ashton could use the mic.

“Good, you’re here,” came Michael’s static filled voice.

“Yeah,” Ashton sighed, “but it’s not just me here.”

“Oh?” Calum’s voice came. It occurred to me that even though I wasn’t as close to them as I was Ashton, I kind of missed them too.

“Yeah. Bella-Wella is here too,” he replied, calling me my grade school name.

“Stop,” I laughed, nudging him, and he grinned.

“So it’s just like old times? Hey, Bella.”

“Hey,” I called back, and the boys started their game, talking about weapons and strategies. And I listened along. Just like old times.

[go--ask--alice]

Ephemeris

Four

14 Days.

336 Hours.

20,160 Minutes.

That is how long it's been since I've spoken to my Joker. I don't know what happened.. I still don't know what the fuck is going on. We were suppose to temporarily move into this god forsaken townhouse together yet here I sit alone. It has taken me that long just to gather my thoughts enough to even write them down.

That morning two weeks ago started so normal. I woke up to find myself alone in bed which honestly isn't that abnormal in itself, J sometimes doesn't sleep and gets his best work done in the middle of the night. I did my usual morning routine hoping he would make an appearance as I stood in the shower under the scalding hot water. He loves to surprise me and join in for some early morning shower sex after a long night of insomnia. I had it set in my mind to give him a bit of a show since he hadn't appeared yet. I put on a modest yet cheeky outfit and set off to his office hoping to interrupt a phone call and tease him as he tried not to acknowledge me. It's a game I love to play with him and gets the most amazing reactions from him. But as I reached the wing his office resided in there was nothing. No Frost at the door, no yelling at incompetent goons over the phone, not even the soft sound of classical music that sometimes floats through the halls when he's deep in his plans.

All of a sudden this massive mansion felt empty, I knew in my gut that he wasn't here. There had been a handful of red flags recently that something bad was brewing but honestly I just expected him to ask me to cut him again. It's something we started doing last year to release some of his darker demons and as far as I knew it had been working. I try to let him come to me with the request rather than pushing. His madness is part of what I love about him and such a key ingredient in what makes him The Joker and I never want to change that.

After I took a few moments to collect myself I called J, maybe there was a perfectly normal reason for his absence? Maybe I had forgotten about a meeting and he left without me? We are rarely apart, even for a few hours, but it does happen.

9:32am no answer

9:39am no answer

9:56am no answer, not even voicemail

This wasn't like J. He may be a psychotic crime boss but he is still always available for me. Worse case scenario my missed called are answered by a text from Frost letting me know what's going on and oh boy was he next on my call list!

......Five missed calls later and I still didn't have any answers. I was ready to burn this place to the ground if someone didn't give me some information.

Finally at around 11am I got a text from Frost.

[Ms Alice, please be ready to leave for the townhouse at 2:30 this afternoon. Boss will explain later.]

My blood boiled as I read the text. It was so generic, so cold. I knew he was only following orders but I felt so betrayed by Johnny. He has become my one confidant in this crazy world I now reside in. He is the only other person who knows what it's like to be in the presence of The Joker's madness and not be a target of it.

I had no choice but to follow along and continue with the plan. My bags were already packed and in the trunk of my new and still barely driven Lambo Aventador. Apparently I would be driving myself seeing as both J and Frost were MIA.

I didn't even want to leave at this point. I felt like a child who has lost their parent in the department store. "If I just stay put they'll have to come back and find me right??" I didn't want to leave just incase J showed back up and I could get an explanation straight from him.

I spent the remaining time going over every red flag I've seen since before our wedding, anything to clue me in to what might be going on. It had almost seemed like J was apprehensive to come back from England, we both knew he needed to return and take care of business in Gotham but England had become a kind of safe house where all the everyday problems could be put on hold and his stress levels really did begin to mellow out in the last few weeks of our stay. From the moment we hit the tarmac here at home there was a noticable shift, the tension in his jaw was back and the twitch under his eye reappeared more quickly than I had anticipated.

I have learned that he lives his life as a series of distractions. Some good some bad but all carefully crafted to distract from the demons in his mind. He immediately began planning our wedding, looking into new properties to acquire, and most amusingly he began building and collecting model cars. If I ever need a good laugh I just like to stop and picture Johnny Frost, lethal weapon, standing in line at the hobby store with a basket full of paints and parts to replace the ones J had broken the night before!

I also thought back to his increased drug use. The coke has always been more of a last resort than recreational to help calm him but recently I know he's started using alot more often. It's a big part of the reason he hasn't been sleeping. I honestly attributed his more erratic behavior to the drugs and insomnia but maybe they were just side effects of a bigger problem? No matter what is going on he is always kind and gentle to me, a courtesy he does not extend to any other living soul. I have seen a level of violence I never thought possible in his presence, it's something I have started to become almost jaded by, but I will never doubt the evil that resides inside that beautiful damaged man. He has also recently taken to personally dealing with some of the lower level thugs in his employ, a task that has always been delegated to Frost or one of the other higher ranking bodyguards. I assume mainly so he has a constant supply of fresh meat for his experiments or even just target practice. I tend to not ask a lot of questions when it comes to the more violent aspects of his empire. If he does not explicitly involve me then I simply do not ask questions.

When the time was right I went down to the garage doors, my last bag in hand and expected to see my car in it's customary spot next to the Benz but it wasn't there. At this point I wasn't sure I could take much more of this bullshit and just began to cry. All the worry and frustration from the day just hit me like a ton of bricks and I didn't want to think anymore. I wanted my husband, I wanted to be clued into whatever the fuck was happening, and goddamn it if I had to leave I just wanted to get in my own car and drive away. After a few moments I wiped my eyes and grabbed my things before heading out the side door towards the front of the building. As I turned the corner a laugh bubbled up from me that sounded foreign and cold. There she was, my beautiful Ghost, J had teased me for naming my car but it's something I have done with every other junk car I ever drove so something as exceptional as this car deserved it too! She was running, her engine humming a low purr and the driver side door was open. This was starting to get even stranger.. I felt like I was in a movie and people were watching from behind the camera lens. That's when I spotted the blacked sedan, it's engine was also running and as I approached Ghost they flashed the high beams at me. It didn't feel like a trap or anything nefarious so I climbed in and slammed the door. My frustrating hitting record levels. On the screen the GPS was already programed for the townhouse. Just as I was about to put her into drive a text popped up on my screen, it was Frost.

[At the rear, head to the destination. -F]

My anger bubbled to the surface and in one swift move I rolled the window down and raised my middle finger as I hit the gas. My sharp black nails and wedding rings glittered in the winter sun, my rear wheels kicking up gravel as I pulled out onto the public road, the blacked out car following closely behind. I knew it was Frost behind the wheel but I had a terrible feeling in my stomach that J was in the backseat. Why was he doing this to me? All morning I had been trying to think of what may be wrong with him, now my thoughts turned to myself. Had I done something to cause this? Did I make a mistake or cross some line I wasn't aware of? From the moment we met it seemed I could do no wrong in J's eyes. Had he finally gotten tired of me? Did he think getting married was a mistake? Was this his way of getting rid of me? All these questions continued to race through my head the entire drive.

The townhouse is approximately 30 minutes outside of downtown Gotham, close enough to still feel metropolitan but far enough out to give the illusion of privacy. J had showed me the floor plan weeks ago as we planned for our extended stay. The building is a four story brownstone with an enclosed garden accessible only from our unit's kitchen. There are three other units on the block, all of which are owned by J, most are empty except for the far end that was occupied but I have no idea who actually lives there or if it's just a front for something else.

As I turned onto the block I hesitated, realizing I had no idea where to park. I never planned on driving here alone so the thought never crossed my mind. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Frost's black sedan take the corner alittle too fast and barrel past me. The back passenger window was rolled down a few inches just furthering my suspicion that J is in there too. I said fuck it and park right infront of the unit and storm out of the car. I stalked up the brick stairs and planted my heels at the front door. I had no key so someone needed to get out the fucking car and talk to me.

[Stay there, I have the keys. -F]

My phone buzzes with another useless text message. I stifle a sigh of annoyance as I see the door open and a visibly uncomfortable Frost make his way towards me. I've never seen him look so unsure of himself? My nerves flaired up again and he hands me a set of keys and a sealed envelope. My name is written in J's messy script and my heart thunders in my chest. I implored Frost for any information he can give and all I got was a nervous chuckle and a sidewards glance towards his car which was still idling halfway down the block. Before turning away he tapped the envelope clutched in my hands. "This is bullshit Ms Alice. Give it time." I didn't even have a chance to ask before he turned and quickly returned to the car. No use waiting for him to pull away, I unlocked the large wooden door and shuffled inside. As soon and the door clicked shut behind me I sunk to my knees and began to cry. All the tears I'd been saving up since this morning came pouring out, I let my emotions flow for several minutes until I saw J's letter discarded on the floor infront me. I took a moment to trace my name written in my loves scratchy script, almost as bad a doctor's, before tearing it open. Inside I found a short note. It was written in deep purple ink so I know it came from the stationary in his office at home.

"Darling, I need to be away for a while to deal with {multiple words scratched out} some sticky fingers at The Smile and Grin. {scribbles} I gave Frost the week off and now I need to handle some of the staff myself because someone’s dipping into my bourbon stash and I need to figure out who."

The whole thing was sloppy and disjointed, it looked rushed and made literally no sense at all. This was all so ridiculous.. The Joker is not a coward yet he couldn't come to me, his wife, and explain what ever the fuck was going on. I crumpled the letter and threw it across the room.

So here I am. It has been two weeks and still nothing. Thank God we had already hired a small staff for this place or I would be screwed.

This is all fucking worthless. When that clown finally shows his face back up here I'll give him a reason for that goddamn metal grill he's got.

-Alice

[7-wonders]

Shatter pt. 6

Summary: After your interview, you find that you can’t stop thinking about Langdon. Imagine your surprise when he can’t stop thinking about you either, turning up unexpectedly in your bedroom. 

Word Count: 3346

A/N: A long one this week! TW for mentions of death and guns. Feedback is always appreciated, let me know what you think, and my inbox is always open if you wanna chat!

Read Part One HERE | Read Part Two HERE | Read Part Three HERE | Read Part Four HERE | Read Part Five HERE

If it weren’t for Ms. Venable’s stupid curfew rule, you would run immediately to find Gallant so he could help you dissect what just happened. Instead, you’re escorted back to your room by a Gray, who locks the door behind you so you can’t get out. The doors didn’t originally lock from the outside, but after every single resident had gotten caught sneaking out within the first month, Ms. Venable had quickly made sure that sneaking out wouldn’t be a problem anymore. As you start getting ready for bed, you can’t stop thinking about your interview with Langdon.

You know that you should be scared of him; that’s the aura that he puts out to all of the residents of the Outpost, after all. You, however, can’t help but to be intrigued by him. Where the ice cold hue of his eyes sends shivers down other people’s spines, you feel comfort when he looks at you. While his speech about leaving you to die if you lied would undoubtedly intimidate everyone else, something in you took it as a joke. If you had a sneaking suspicion that you used to know him before you lost your memory, the interview basically confirmed that he absolutely knows you. Really, it’s not at all shocking when you fall asleep an hour later and immediately dream of the blond man. Only this time, you can actually see his face.

“Show me again!” You demand excitedly, making the man in front of you chuckle. His hands are on either side of your head, blocking you in against the rough bark of the tree you’re leaning against. The sun’s just starting to set, and the golden light makes his hair glow.

“You’re the only person I have ever met who isn’t repulsed by this.” He comments. You respond with a shrug and a cheeky smile, kissing him quickly.

“How could I be? It’s a part of you, nothing about you could scare me.” He rolls his eyes, but the blush painting his cheeks tells you he feels differently.

“Alright, but after this you show me what I want.” Your eyes widen before you realize what he really means.

“There’s not an actual Demonomicon, it’s from a movie! I was joking!” You giggle.

“Mmmhmm, I bet that’s what Cordelia told you to say.” He smirks, taking your bottom lip between his teeth and pulling. “I’ll wear you down eventually.”

He knows that you’re telling the truth, can sense it, but he still likes to tease you.

“Yeah, you’ll wear me down into making you watch Evil Dead again so you can pay attention instead of feeling me up the entire time.”

“Can you blame me? How do you expect me to sit down next to you for two whole hours and not keep my hands to myself?” He’s stalling, you know; he still worries that showing you will make you run off screaming and demand to never see him again.

You smile widely at him, letting him know that you’re still waiting. Sighing deeply, he nods before looking down at the ground and closing his eyes.

“Don’t get scared.” You caress his cheek, smiling slightly when he leans against your hand.

“I could never be scared of you.” You reassure him. After a long moment, he looks up and you laugh in excitement.

His face, normally sunkissed, is pure white and marred with cracks. Although he has a chiseled jaw and cheekbones, they’re almost gaunt in this form. He stares at you, once-blue eyes now pitch black. Even with the lack of color in them, you can still see how he looks at you adoringly.

“You’re beautiful.” You whisper in awe, kissing him deeply. The demon growls from deep inside his chest, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you flush against him.

Sitting up in bed, your chest heaves as you attempt to catch your breath. You run a hand through your hair, trying to dissect what you just woke up from. First things first, that was definitely Langdon in your dream. In the two years that you’ve been dreaming about the blond man, you’ve never once seen his face. Was it just a coincidence that tonight was the first time you actually got to see his facial features, or was something in your subconscious triggered at the arrival of this man? If that was a memory, what the fuck was up with Langdon’s face? How was he able to make himself look like that?

After reaching over to light the candle that sits on your nightstand, you have to slap a hand over your mouth to stifle a scream. Langdon sits in the chair that normally faces your small bookshelf, staring at you intensely. He’s still dressed in the same clothes he wore earlier, legs crossed like he’s casually enjoying a cup of coffee. He smirks at your fear, nostrils flaring like he can smell how scared you are.

“What the-how are you even in here? Venable locks all of our doors.” It’s probably not the best question to start with, but you’re still half-asleep and blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Langdon stands, gracefully crossing the room and settling on the edge of the bed. You lean further back against the headboard, pulling the blankets close to your chest. It’s silent, and you’re not sure what Langdon’s waiting for.

“I have my ways, (Y/N).”

“She gave you a key?” Again, not the best question to ask. The patronizing half-smile that he gives you lets you know that he most likely doesn’t have a key, which is a little alarming.

“Tell me about your dream.” He knows your dream, you’re sure, and you yawn in annoyance.

“You know what that dream was about.” You narrow your eyes at him, and he chuckles.

“Indulge me.”

“Fine.” You sigh, rolling your eyes and settling back against the pillows. “That was you.”

He nods, confirming what you already knew.

“We were...up against a tree. I asked you to show me something, and you looked down. When you looked up again, your face was white and had cracks in it, almost like it was marble. Your eyes were completely black, too.”

“Were you scared?” His melodic voice floats towards you.

“No.” There’s no hesitation, and that mildly shocks you. “I wasn’t scared.”

A real smile spreads across his face, teeth glinting from the low light of the candle. It looks just like the smile in your dream, yet somehow even more beautiful and radiant.

“I knew you wouldn’t be.”

“Langdon?” He hums, letting you know you’re permitted to ask your question. “Have you been the one giving me those dreams?”

“Just the one you had tonight. I’m not responsible for your other dreams, though. That is all you.”

“Why give me this one, then?”

“I needed to make sure that you weren’t lying to me.” He places his hand on top of yours, but you don’t pull away. It feels comforting, in a way.

“Lying to you about what?”

“Lying about not remembering me. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised; Cordelia was always one for taking extreme measures against me.” You gasp, eyes lighting up.

“You do know who I am!” He nods, and you laugh triumphantly. “So? Who was I? Help me remember!”

“You are somebody very special to me, (Y/N).” He stands from the bed, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion.

“That’s it?”

“For now, yes.” You frown, grabbing his arm.

“You don’t just get to come in here, plant dreams in my head, tell me that you know who I was before I lost my memory, and then decide to leave! I want answers; I deserve answers!” Hot tears of anger prick at the corners of your eyes, but you don’t really care about looking weak right now. Who is he to withhold this information from you?

“I know that you do, and you will get your answers. I just need you to wait for another day or two. Can you do that for me?” You don’t want to, but you find yourself reluctantly nodding. “Good, thank you.”

“You promise that you’ll tell me after that?”

“You have my word.” He gently pries your fingers off of his arm, moving to gently grab your face in his hands. “I don’t want you to be mad at me for what I’m about to do.”

“What are you about to do?” You ask, being drawn in by the various shades of blue that make up Langdon’s eyes. It’s almost hypnotizing, and soon you find that you can’t look away from him.

“When I leave, you’re going to fall right back asleep. You’ll wake up tomorrow and you won’t remember that this encounter happened, just that you had a very odd dream that you can’t recall. Can you repeat that back for me, angel?”

“I’ll fall asleep when you leave, and tomorrow I won’t remember that this happened, just that I had a very odd dream that I can’t recall.” Your voice sounds detached from your body, like it’s not you that’s actually speaking the words coming out of your mouth. Nevertheless, the words sink into your subconscious, filing themselves away next to the powder that Cordelia used on you years ago.

“I love you, (Y/N).” He disappears in a split-second, and your body goes limp and falls back against the mattress like he requested.

The entire day, you can barely stay invested in the conversations that are happening around you. It takes Coco shoving you against a wall for you to have any sort of reaction, and even then it’s just mild annoyance instead of the angry yell you would usually have reserved for her.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Gallant asks at dinner, looking far-more disheveled than you’ve seen him in a long time.

“Just a really weird dream that I can’t quite remember, it all feels hazy. What the hell is wrong with you?” You fire back.

Gallant proceeds to tell you the events of last night, which you discover was far more fucked up than yours. Even though your interview lasted past curfew, Gallant still got called in for his. Afterwards, a man in a rubber suit that Gallant swears was Langdon showed up at his room and gave him “the best dicking down” of his life. An odd bolt of jealousy hits you when he recounts how the Cooperative official fucked him, but it’s quickly swept away when he tells you that his Nana snitched on him to Venable, who proceeded to whip him until he was bleeding.

“Oh my God, Gal! I’m so sorry.” You coo, running a hand through his hair to comfort him. “How long did she whip you for?”

“Like fifteen minutes but, get this. Langdon showed up and told her to leave.”

“And she listened to him?” Gallant snorts.

“She kind of has to, y’know? I think he’s pretty high up on the Cooperative’s ladder. Anyways, it didn’t go at all like I had expected it would.”

“He didn’t…?” You trail off, cheeks flushing red at the mere thought of the sinful things that the two could have done.

“No! And I was all chained up and everything, which you know I love. Instead, he insults me, tells me that he wasn’t the one who fucked me and that he wouldn’t fuck me even if I were the last man on Earth.”

“You almost are.” You point out with a smirk.

“Shut up, he said that shit too and it wasn’t funny then, either.” You giggle, taking his hand in yours.

“Are you gonna talk to Evie?” Gallant sighs, shrugging.

“I know that I should, but I just...she’s always been like this. I’m the family disappointment. I was never the perfect gay for her, did too many drugs, my first salons failed. I’m sure she’s wanted me dead for a while, now was just the perfect chance for her.” You pout at hearing this, scooting your chair closer to his.

“Gal, no! She’s your grandma, she still loves you! Besides, you got her the…” You trail off when you hear a commotion outside of the dining room, both you and Gallant craning your necks in an attempt to see what’s going on.

Andre comes crashing into the room, eyes wide and a sick grin on his face. He whispers something to Dinah, his mother, before pulling her up and starting to tug her along with him.

“Andre! What’s going on?”

“Timothy and Emily finally said ‘fuck it’ and decided to fuck. Venable caught them and now she’s gonna kill them!” They run out of the room together, leaving you with your eyes wide and your mouth hanging open.

Besides Gallant, Timothy and Emily are your closest friends here. You’ve seen them struggle with restraining themselves, holding back to a single kiss a week so as not to break Ms. Venable’s rules. In all honesty, you’re a little shocked they didn’t have sex sooner. There’s no time to be impressed with how long they held out, as some sort of reflex kicks on inside you and you decide that you have to go and save them. Sliding your chair back, you shoot Gallant an apologetic look as you stand.

“I’m so sorry, I’ll be right back. I need to stop this, though.” He nods, seeing the worry on your face.

“Go, I’ll be fine. Besides, I can go and talk to my Nana while you’re saving the day.” With that, you’re out the door like a bullet. You pick your dress up in your hands, thankful that you wore flats today as you sprint down the hallway towards the commotion.

A few of your fellow residents are posted around the corner from where Timothy and Emily are both yelling, a mixture of Purples and Grays all ready for this sick entertainment. You shove past them, heart beating out of your chest when you can finally see through the open door. Both of them are stripped down to their undergarments, forced to their knees while Venable sneers above them. They’re crying, pleading with her to not kill them, that they know she’s been making up rules and that she was killing them for no reason. It doesn’t really surprise you that the evil woman made her own rules, but you push that thought to the side.

“Stop! Don’t kill them, please!” You run into the sterile white room that already reeks of death, stomach clenching when you realize that this is where they killed Stu. Venable looks at you, glowering.

“Ms. (Y/L/N), please leave. This doesn’t concern you.” She grits out.

“You can’t kill them!” She laughs harshly, and you freeze when Ms. Mead points the gun at you.

“And why should I allow you to tell me what to do in my Outpost? Timothy and Emily broke the rules, both knowing fully well what the punishment is.”

“Kill me instead.” You say suddenly, and Emily lets out a cry behind you.

“Very chivalrous of you.” She mocks.

“I’m being serious. They were both selected because of their genetic material, they’re meant to help create the New World. I’m nobody, I just got lucky enough to have my name on some list.” Ms. Venable’s dark lips purse as she ponders the case you’ve just made. She raises her eyebrows, a silent challenge that you return with a defiant stare.

“Very well then. Up, you two.” She barks at your friends. They scramble to their feet when Ms. Mead points the gun at them again, gesturing for them to listen to Venable.

The woman uses her cane to shove you harshly in the back, forcing you to your knees in front of her. Timothy has his arms wrapped around an inconsolable Emily, and you force a soft smile towards him and nod. You turn back to look at Venable, smirking at the situation. She thinks she’s won when, in reality, you have. You don’t fear death; the thought of living life as a stranger, something you’ve done for years, is far more terrifying than the end. Besides, a bullet in your skull also means you escape these Draconian rules you’ve had to live under since the end of the world. For you, death is a solace that you so desperately seek.

“Ms. Mead.” She commands, and you stare right down the barrel of the gun.

Before she even gets a chance to cock the weapon back, Timothy lunges for it with a scream. It falls to the floor, and he snatches it up quickly, pointing it at Venable and shooting. Unfortunately, Ms. Mead jumps in front of her, using her own body as a shield. The bullet strikes her in the abdomen, and she cups her hand around the wound before stumbling out of the room and down the hallway. Venable’s too shocked to actually do anything, so the Hand pistol-whips Timothy with their own gun.

“Stop this right now!” A deep voice commands, and your eyes widen when Langdon storms into the room. “Release them, Ms. Venable.”

“These two broke the rules. Luckily for them, (Y/N) so kindly volunteered her life instead. You can take the two, but (Y/N) will still be punished for the events that have occured today.” Langdon smiles patronizingly, tilting his head to the side.

“None of the three will be dying today, Ms. Venable.”

“You do not tell me what to do. I run this Outpost, Mr. Langdon.” They both stare at each other, a silent power grab taking place as Langdon gets impossibly close to Venable.

“And I outrank you. Therefore, this is my Outpost.” He turns to look at the three of you huddled together, eyes focusing right on you. “Come, you three.”

You and Emily both help a dazed Timothy up, stumbling out of the room before Langdon can change his mind. Immediately after you’re out of Venable’s sight, Emily envelops you in a crushing hug.

“That was so stupid, why would you do that?” She cries out, burying her head in your shoulder before pulling you back to look at you. “Never mind, I’m just glad we’re all okay. Thank you.”

“Emily.” Michael speaks lowly, and you both turn to look at him. “Take Timothy to the library, I believe there’s first aid supplies and a few knowledgeable Grays there.”

She nods, slinging one of Timothy’s arms around her shoulders and helping him through the hallway and down the stairs. You watch until long after they’re both gone.

“She’s right, you know.” Michael’s cool voice sounds, and you turn around to face him.

“About?”

“That what you did was extremely stupid.” You roll your eyes, scowling in his direction.

“Why do you care who lives and who dies, Langdon? Some of us are gonna die anyways, why not make it easier on yourself and let Venable take us out one by one?” His ever-present smirk falls off of his face, and his eyes grow cold.

“Because, (Y/N), I am the only one who decides what happens to the occupants of this Outpost. Not Venable, not Ms. Mead, not even the petty bickering of your fellow Purples as they talk about what it would be like to slit someone’s throat. I decide what happens to you, and I am not going to let you sacrifice yourself because you have a fucking hero complex.” He stares you down, backing you against the wall until he pins you there with the weight of his body.

“And what’s going to happen to me, Langdon?” Your faces are mere centimeters away from each other, and you can feel his hot breath against your cheeks as his eyes wrack over your face.

“The second part of your interview shall commence in an hour. You will be at my office, and you will be punctual.” With that, he pushes away from you and walks down the hallway, leaving your head spinning as you lean back against the wall.

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