#in the first couple of episodes she's there to challenge jeff

[sonechkaandthedynamos]

some repeating elements in community that i have only started to notice upon the 3rd rewatch (spoilers ahead btw):

troy is into butt stuff

troy and the mouth motif (self-eating thought experiment donut, eating a troll that's on fire, saying that he sometimes thinks that he lost something but it turns out he ate it)

britta and troy being attracted to each other has slowly been building up from the first season

britta and annie being curious about each other

britta def being bi

britta being a "wild card"

annie and troy screaming

annie being a quick-thinking criminal (the chloroform, carrying a gun in her purse, planting the broken dvd)

there's actually not that much evidence for britta being a buzzkill

[straightbaittournament]

only the straightbait with the lowest percentage will be eliminated; everyone else goes on to round 2! propaganda under the cut:

kit tanthalos and graydon hastur:

Classic arranged marriage trope but the she-hates-him part never goes away because she’s in love with her best friend/bodyguard Jade

tobias funke and debrie bardeaux:

It’s maybe not exactly right but Debrie starred in a series of softcore gay porn films called Straightbait where she seduces a guy but tells him he has to sleep with another man before he sleeps with her to prove how attracted to her he is, thus proving he isn’t gay. Tobias is also super gay. They date for like 40 episodes and raise a son together. Tobias gets left by his first wife for not being sexually attracted to her and then has an affair with a gay porn actress from a series called straightbait I just think it’s pretty funny.

izuku midoriya and ochako uraraka:

It’s the classic main character x friend who is a girl ship. They have no actual romantic interactions outside of their friendship. Ochako has “feelings” for Izuku, but they are clearly feelings of friendship until one of her friends insists that she must have a crush on Izuku, making her feel confused and embarrassed. Izuku clearly sees Ochako as a good friend, but when they first meet, he blushes and thinks “I can’t believe I just talked to a girl.” On the same day, he also blushes when he sees that a famous male hero is proctoring their exams. It’s literally so boring as a romantic ship. They have no chemistry as a couple.

willow park and hunter:

THEY ARE NOT STRAIGHT THEY R BI4PAN BUT IT IS AN M/F RELATIONSHIP They are an M/F relationship in The Gay Show and they are hinted and teased but never confirmed

travis touchdown and sylvia christel:

in the first game travis spends the entire game trying to get with sylvia (HE FAILS MISERABLY) and inbetween the sequel and the spin-off they get married, have kids, you know the drill HOWEVER COMMA in that same period of time travis runs away from said family and later moves in with a man. So.

raleigh becket and mako mori:

Literally everything about the writing of Pacific Rim make it seem like they're setting up for a romance between these two and then they just. Don't. Despite this, "drift compatable" was one of the most popular AUs for couples after the film came out for a hot minute because of how romantic they made the concept seem. *gestures to the entire movie* seriously

jeff winger and britta perry:

the show starts off with jeff creating the study group so that he can get with britta, they serve essentially as narrative foils, with jeff not caring about people and britta caring too much about people, they nearly get married on THREE (3) separate occasions, they're secret friends with benefits for an entire season but break up when the group finds out, they're the only two people from the core group left in greendale when the show ends; but in the end they make jeff's "true love interest" the girl who was half his age when the show started (36/18)...

asuka tenjoin and yuki judai:

The ship name (fianceshipping) comes from the episode where Judai *accidentally* duels some guy to become Asuka's fiance (said guy never asks Asuka how she feels about this, ugghhh greater Duel Academia student body be normal about ladies challenge). Turns out that he *didn't know what a fiance was* and just wanted to have a good ol' time cardgaming. I think that this says more about this ship than anything else I could tell you. During the final season, Asuka almost confesses to him but cuts herself off & they then thank each other for giving each other some clarity of mind because they're both going through pretty rough times at that point in the plot. Looks concerningly like they're about to do a whole "ohh we need to make the main girl and boy romance out of obligation" bit and then they just don't do it. It's great. I have no idea if this counts because I didn't personally feel baited but I think they're very fun as a pair and I like them 🫡. judai is the gayest guy of all time (subtext) and im like 80% sure asuka was experiencing comphet bc he's the only guy in their grade that treats her like a person. besties 4ever!!!!!!!! straightmod has been informed that judai is also textually queer because he is canonically attracted to a non-binary character.

kwan and win:

This is a Thai teen drama that focuses on many teens going through hardships and it's very dramatic and very fun I love it so much THESE TWO. They circled around each other for two whole seasons and the tension was there!! He was a bad boy, she was a good girl, every time they spoke there was something in the air. They were both arguably the leads of an ensemble cast and it really felt like they were being set up to get together but then it just... never happens. This show has been out for 10 years and I'm still mad about it. THE WASTED POTENTIAL OF IT ALL

valkyrie and thor:

Like a lot of ships with a white man and a woman of color, their chemistry and history get shunted to the side by racist writers and fans who refuse to acknowledge them as anything other than friends.

good luck everyone! now go vote!

[tilbageidanmark]

Movies I watched this Week # 152 (Year 3/Week 48):

7 more with gorgeous Belgian actress Virginie Efira:

🍿 Continuing with the rest of Justine Triet's work, In bed with Victoria was a study for Triet's later 2 films. Like 'Sybil' and 'Anatomy of a fall' it is fascinated with the process of elaborate legal machinations, a strong women's sexuality, great kid performances, intellectual analysis and delightful sensuality.

Virginie Efira is a single mom and a powerful criminal lawyer here trying to balance her work and love life, but she is confused, and so is this movie. Still, they are both a delight to watch. 5/10.

🍿 A boilerplate, fast-paced romantic comedy of a hot "cougar" falling for a 19 year old boy, It Boy, predictable and formulaic, but she's such an eye candy, it's impossible to hate.

🍿 An Impossible Love, my second challenging film by Catherine Corsini (After 'Summertime'), 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. A difficult and elusive drama about a beautiful woman who passionately falls in love with a dashing young man. But as soon she becomes pregnant with his child, he leaves her, and refuses to take responsibility for their daughter. What starts as a romantic fairy-tale, turns in the course of 30+ years, into a nightmare of cruelty, abuse and heartache. The dynamics of a horribly narcissist father and his hold of the women who wants to trust him are very hard to watch. Beautifully sad and brilliantly dark. 9/10.

On the other hand, in every one of the 8-9 movies that I've seen with her so far, she always have some 'steamy' sex scenes (but they are usually perfunctory and all are similar in style). I am absolutely not complaining, but is it part of her contract?

🍿 Just the two of us, her most recent film from 2023 is similar in parts to 'An impossible love'. This one too is about a gaslighted, terrorized wife, whose cruel, possessive husband is a disgusting, hard to watch abuser. For some reason she plays here a double role of twin sisters, and her laugh (when she does) lights up the screen. But this was an ugly and unpleasant experience.

🍿 Night Shift, my second by Anne Fontaine (After 'Adore' with Naomi Watts), It's a police procedural, a somehow-updated, French version of Hal Ashby's 'The last detail'. 3 police officers must escort an illegal immigrant from Tajikistan back to his country, knowing he will probably be killed there. I did not expect it to be so captivating. 9/10.

🍿 Paris memories, my second by French director Alice Winocour (She co-wrote the Turkish award-winner 'Mustang'). Efira plays a lovely woman traumatized from having survived a mass-shooting in a Parisian bistro. Going through similar mental agonies as Jeff Bridges did in 'Fearless', this one felt like banal film-making with no real depth. Some moments of pathos when the POV shifted to a couple of the other characters. (Photo Above)

🍿 Because I'm a completist (and sometimes a masochist), I checked out one episode (S2 E1) of Call my agent, a fast-paced French serial of the Netflix kind (i.e., slick, shallow, "funny" with constant muzak in the background). It's about a Parisian entertainment talent agency, and each episode stars a real celebrity. 2/10.

🍿

Young Picasso, a simple British documentary about the early years of the 20th Century's greatest artist. From his birth in Malaga to 1907, when he created Les Demoiselles d’Avignon, "The first modern art masterpiece". Absolutely riveting. 9/10.

🍿

2 by Alexander Payne, both starring Paul Giamatti as an unsuccessful teacher with an unfinished manuscript in his drawer:

🍿 The holdovers, Alexander Payne's 8th feature, and my favorite of all of them (Even more than 'The Descendants'). Absolute pleasure from the very first chords, like listening to Simon and Garfunkel for the first time. 10/10.

🍿 "...If anybody orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I'm not drinking any fucking Merlot!..."

Rewatch: Sideways, the film that helped cause a real growth in pinot noir sales worldwide. I forgot how wonderful it was: It really got better with age... With "Gretchen Schwartz" as Miles' Ex-wife.

[It reminded me of one of the happiest summers of my life, in 1974, when I worked the grape-picking 'vendange' season in the south of France. I started in Perpignan, and together with other free-spirited hobos, hitchhiked north every two or three weeks to a different vinery, and ended up in Champagne. We were housed in worker's quarters, worked long hours in the field, were fed fantastic rustic French food, and received (beside the meager wages) two bottles of red wine each - every day.]

🍿

'The Holdovers' was a modern adaptation of a 1935 French drama, Merlusse, directed by Marcel Pagnol. It also tells of a reclusive teacher assigned to watch over some pupils over the Christmas holidays. And he also has a glass eye, and stinks of codfish, etc. The new version was much superior.

🍿

Re-watch: Umberto Eco, A Library of the World, a wonderful documentary about the private library of the Italian medievalist, philosopher, semiotician, novelist, cultural critic (and flutist).

Roaming through the many rooms hosting his vast MIlanese library of 1,200 rare books, and 50,000+ newer ones is any bibliophile's masturbatory wet dream.

It features the same Carl Orff cover that Hans Zimmer adapted to 'True Romance' under the name 'You're so cool'. 9/10.

Now I want to watch an adaptation of Foucault's Pendulum if there ever was one. Or at least re-watch his 'The name of the rose'. I also wish there was a movie about Eco's favorite writer, Athanasius Kircher.

🍿

So instead of reading all of Borges books again, I was looking for movies based on his stories. Bertolucci's The Spider’s Stratagem, made in the same year as 'The Conformist', is the first that came to mind. An operatic web of truths and lies, symbols of murder & betrayal. "Athos Magnani arrives at the sleepy town of Tara, where years ago, his father—also named Athos Magnani—was assassinated by Fascists while attending a performance of Verdi’s opera Rigoletto." Memory, identity, stagecraft, a trip to the kingdom of the dead.

🍿

From a recent list of '30 best mobster movies', The Traitor, an epic Italian saga about Tommaso Buscetta. He was the first Sicilian Cosa Nostra boss to turn informant, and whose collaborations were used at the big anti-Mafia trials of the 80's. Not as great as 'The Godfather', but a solid entertainment piece. 7/10.

🍿

I struggled with the new disjointed psychodrama May December, my 5th film by Todd Haynes. I found it pointless, confusing and lacking emotional focus. Not close to the pathos of his two earlier masterpieces, ‘Carol’ and ‘Far from heaven’. Natalie Portman was an unreliable narrator, and Julianne Moore‘s family was unconvincingly flat. It felt unnecessary. 3/10.

🍿

The platform is a cruel Spanish horror / science-fiction story, with an unusual hook: Prisoners are held in a 300-floor vertical tower, two to a cell. Once a day they receive food lowered on a platform to their level, and they have only two minutes to eat as much as they can, but the lower you're in the system, the less you're left with. This is not something I usually enjoy, and indeed I despised this unpleasant, disgusting parable of inequality.

🍿

First watch: I kept reading that the sequel Hot Shots! Part Deux was better than the original, but really not by much. A few funny jokes in otherwise lame and lazy spoof. 3/10.

🍿

4 more documentaries:

🍿 Innocence, a painful Israeli documentary by Guy Davidi about Israel's compulsory military industrial-cultural complex. How it indoctrinates, brainwashes and overwhelms (nearly) all its children to become cogs in the war and oppression machine. Told from the prospective of some soldiers who had committed suicide while serving in the army, it's a depressing, evil and unjust story. But it is told in an irritating 'poetic' voice-overs, and I hated everything about it. 3/10.

🍿 Memories from Palestine, a Danish documentary about a tiny museum in the refugee camp of Shatila, Lebanon. It’s a rather small, decrepit room, where the elderly caretaker Mohammeds had been collecting some old keepsakes from 3 generations ago.

🍿 Coded, a lousy documentary about gay illustrator J. C. Leyendecker. The famous commercial artist cloaked his sexuality while producing popular magazine covers for 50 years. 1/10.

🍿 Bob and Don: A Love Story, a light 20-minute documentary by Judd Apatow, about the friendship between the two comedians. Not much meat on it, but OK.

🍿

Summer in Tyrol, a 2010 Danish short about an old couple who argue with each other, even as the old lady dies in a hospital room.

🍿

(My complete movie list is here)

[runningoutofteardrops]

don't get cocky, kid

survivor! that show where people go "huh, it's still going on?". the show where people get the line "you have been voted off this island"... which isn't what they actually say, at all. it's "the tribe has spoken". sometimes they're not even on an island! see: seasons australian outback, kenya, brazil, guatemala, china, gabon, nicaragua... anyway they're forever in fiji now

my friend got me into it and we watch it together in a discord call, and this season (s44) we get to watch it week-by-week as it airs. i was trying to eat my dinner at the dining hall and then i glimpse at the tv and i see kane giving a confessional saying "don't get cocky, kid" and i was like oh shit oh god don't spoil me aaaaaaa

anyway we watched the episode like three days later.

my pre-season winner pick is frannie and last episode her showmance partner, matt, got voted out and became the first member of the jury so i was afraid she'd get booted next! if she doesn't win immunity then it's going to get dicey

but then we see carson throwing up in the bushes because he got sick from eating the pb&j sandwiches from the reward last episode. this season has already had a medivac and a quit (due to medical reasons) which hasn't happened since micronesia (s16)!

depending on what the upcoming challenge was he could still be able to partake -- he's been a challenge beast because he's smart, strong, and has had tons of practice with previous iterations of puzzles which haven't been changed at all from past seasons. they're told to make pairs but aren't told whether they will be working together or against each other.

the pairs are carson and carolyn; frannie and heidi; jaime and yam yam; brandon and kane; danny and lauren.

we get to the challenge and oh god it's that stupid untwisting net tunnel in mud obstacle at the start! we saw this last season (s43) and two people got so stuck in them that they had to cut the rope to get them out of it.

so yeah guess what, carolyn gets stuck in the net. carolyn so far has been the most prominent character of the season-- the season even starts with a cold open of the making of a carolyn confessional. as she's stuck in the net, squawking like a bird, carson is trying to cheer her on but he does it in such a weak voice it makes the whole thing hilarious. needless to say, they are eliminated from the challenge.

honestly i didn't pay attention the second part but frannie and heidi & jaime and yamyam got eliminated at this step so that's not good for frannie. either she has to get two people to flip in order for the vote to go 5-4 on someone else or someone has to play an idol on her, or she's gone.

the last part of the challenge, the pairs are split and now it's a 1v1v1v1 where they have to balance their feet on little footholds. at certain intervals, they have to step down onto smaller holds - it's a live transition, so if they fall during it they're out. this obstacle has been seen plenty of times before but here, they're caked in mud.

the challenge favors smaller and lighter people. after stepping down two levels, kane drops soon after and everyone compliments kane's hair (which is tied up into a bun) as he walks over to sit with the others. later on, brandon also drops.

danny says jeff's name. jeff says danny's name. danny farts, and everyone laughs.

danny and lauren go down to the last level. they squirm for a couple of seconds, and finally danny drops. girls get it done, woo!

here are the tribal lines at the moment:

ratu (orange) is brandon, kane, lauren, and jaime. sotu (green) is danny, frannie, and heidi. tika (purple) is carson, carolyn, and yam yam.

as they head back to camp, danny admits in a confessional that he would've been gunning for lauren if she hadn't won, but regardless he's going to aim for a member of old ratu because they have the majority and have been running the game.

brandon and kane want to vote frannie. danny tells heidi that he has an idol and is going to play it for frannie. heidi tells yam yam and carson. we then actually see danny telling frannie his plan. carson tells danny then heidi spilled the beans.

so we get to tribal council. it's common for someone who's in trouble to be sitting closest to jeff and you bet frannie was in that seat. they make analogies as always and then they go to vote.

danny plays the idol on frannie. i cheer as the ratus look nervously at each other. frannie and matt are making lovey-dovey smileys at each other across the room.

jeff reads the votes.

frannie, does not count. frannie, does not count. frannie, does not count. frannie, does not count. frannie, does not count. frannie, does not count...

brandon. brandon, two votes brandon. ninth member voted out and the second member of our jury... brandon, that's three, that's enough!

as they head back to camp, danny tells jeff "good night" and frannie gives one last smile to matt.

my girl's still in! now that the tribes have even numbers, it should get the target off her back for a bit.

danny might have some heat on him but so does kane, given that he was very close with brandon. kane successfully diverted votes off him in the past but we'll just have to see next week.

[dr-drckken]

Day 23: The Final Labor - Survivor AU

Tropes Used: 1. Blindside at Tribal Council 2. Remaining loyal to your tribe members even when you've merged 3. That One Guy who's just really good at fishing 4. Challenge Beast 5. The one person who's really good at the puzzles 6. Shelter make-over 7. Giving away your reward to someone but not because you want them to have it, for other, more nefarious purposes 8. Someone flirts with Jeff (for the purposes of this, this is set beFORE he got married <3) 9. One of the finalists kills their chances by revealing something stupid to the jury who would have otherwise voted for them 10. Power couple: a duo from the beginning of the show makes it a long time through the run by working together and staying loyal, even if it's not in their best interests, and become friends even after filming.

also for reference: 📽️ = a confessional and the italics are Jeff's voice over at the beginning of the episode. okay, thank you for coming.

Fiji. This will be their home for the next 39 days. They must learn to adapt, or they’ll be voted out of the tribe. In the end, only one will be able to claim the million dollar prize. Who will have what it takes to outwit, outplay, and outlast all the rest? 39 days, 18 people, 1 survivor! 

Previously on Survivor. 

After voting out Skip, Su is having a tough time trusting the people of her former tribe. 

“I just don’t get how the voting worked out. It doesn’t make sense. Someone had to have flipped.”

At the reward challenge, Eda had best aim. 

“Eda wins reward!” 

“Say that again, Jeff, but slower and with your second button undone.”

She decided to take Hatter with her to enjoy a breakfast feast where Eda hatched a plan to get rid of Drakken. 

“We’ve gotta get that guy out of here. He’s driving me up a wall. We need to make friends with the one with glasses.”

“...Toby?”

“Wow, you know his name? I’ve just been calling him The Little Guy in my head.”

At the immunity challenge Toby guaranteed himself  by defeating all the others in our trivia based game. 

“And with that answer, Toby has immunity.” 

Back at camp Cruz was feeling vulnerable and tried some last minute strategizing. 

“Su, if you can get James, then we can get Drakken this week and probably Toby the week after that.”

But at Tribal Council it wasn’t Cruz who needed to be worried. After playing an immunity idol, Drakken, who had gotten four votes, it was someone else who had to pay the price. 

“Gabriella. Your tribe has spoken.”

She became the first member of the jury. 

8 are left. Who will be voted out tonight? 

--

The beach was particularly quiet that morning. Where people were usually handing out chores or discussing the events of the previous night, there was only the gentle hot breeze and lapping of the waves. 

Hatter sat by the fire, stoking it and building it back up from where it had burned down in the night so that he could get started on breakfast. Su came to sit next to him, resting her chin on her hand. 

“Morning,” he said.

“Good morning,” she sighed. 

“Sleep alright?”

“No,” she shook her head. “I feel so stupid.”

“Don’t,” he said. “He got all of us.”

“But we’re supposed to be part of his alliance,” she said. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“How could he not have said anything?”

Hatter glanced sideways at her, then up to where the camera was zooming in, giving it a confused a look. Or rather, the camera operator the confused look since he was the one currently listening to this conversation. They offered no response, but Hatter couldn’t really believe the young woman was saying that. About the man who had been playing their team like puppets on strings. 

“It’s a game,” he said. “Despite what people may say, we’re all playing to win.”

Su frowned, turning her head to look at him. “You’ve never lied. Even when it probably would have been in your best interest.”

He huffed, “I’m old. Keeping up with all the lies gets too tiring.”

“You’re not that old,” she said. “You’re here! Top 8.”

“Woo!” whooped another voice. James Jones the II slid to the edge of the shelter, reaching into the crate he had been using to keep his prosthetic in to keep it away from the elements as best he could. He began to start putting everything on, “Top 8! Only gets worse from here, lads!”

📽️

CruzSwynlake, UKAthlete

“I’m getting really sick and tired of James’ brand of humor. It’s just so juvenile and annoying. He’s the youngest one here, but only by like a few weeks! You don’t hear my hooping and hollering in the morning after we just sent someone who didn’t deserve to go home. It’s insensitive. Like, sure, we’re all still happy to be here, but have some grace.”

She sighed, looking away from the producers and camera to shake her head with her disappointment. 

“I feel so stupid after last night. I’m the reason Gabriella is gone. I had a complete misunderstanding of what we were doing. If I had known what was going on I would never have written her name down and maybe she would still be here...Because if I had written Drakken, like everyone else, then Ken and her would have tied and we could have probably voted James or Su out. I need to talk to Su again. It might be easier to convince her to flip after Toby and Drakken’s stunt last night. I know her biggest ally is James so they’re a package deal but– ugh. I’ll just have to grit my teeth until we can get him out after the other two.”

📽️

When Su asked for help in getting water from the well, Cruz popped up to join her. Everyone eyed them but said nothing.

She noticed James shoot Su a glance, his brows furrowing. Su just smiled and nodded before turning that bright expression to Cruz and nodding to the path to the well. 

Cruz waited until they were a ways away from the camp before turning the conversation over into strategy. “Soooo, that Tribal was pretty crazy huh? You guys pulled that blindside off, like, perfectly.”

Su frowned, “I…I didn’t know that’s how they were voting.”

“Really?” Cruz feigned bemusement. She blinked, turning as if to think it over. “But– but there were three votes on Gabriella’s name.”

“I know,” she said. “I don’t get it either.”

“So James didn’t write it?”

“No, we thought we were all voting for Ken,” she admitted. “He’s great around camp and super nice but…the challenges moving forward are probably going to be pretty physical and he’s just so good at them. Only way we have a shot is if there’s puzzles, too.” A beat passed before Su’s eyes widened. “Oh that was so mean! I’m sorry! I think he’s great but–”

Cruz giggled, shaking her head. “No, no. I get it. And you’re right! But that still doesn’t explain where the third vote came from. Are you sure James voted with you?”

“Positive,” she nodded. “Who else would have voted for Ken?”

“Me,” Cruz said.

“You voted for Ken?”

It was a risky move, Cruz knew. But she needed to be risky at this point in the game. “Like you said, he’s a threat. And I thought I was going home last night, so I just wrote him down thinking it would be funny if there was just a random Ken in the pool.”

Su smiled at this then frowned as the implications set in. “I can’t believe they wouldn’t have told me, though…wouldn’t it have been better to have four votes to three? Just in case?”

Cruz made a face, reaching out to touch Su’s arm. “I’m telling you, Su, they don’t trust you. It’s a boy’s club. I saw you this morning, Hatter already likes you and Eda doesn’t care, so long as Drakken is the next one out. And you know Ken.”

“Just happy to be here,” Su nodded. “But what about James?”

“What about James?” Cruz shook her head. “If he’s working with them and didn’t tell you, you can’t trust him anymore.”

Su’s lips pressed together, squishing to one side of her mouth as she approached the well to start collecting the water. They remained silent on the trip back to camp, plenty to think about. 

📽️

James Jones the IISwynlake UK Musician

“Hatter and I are the providers of the group, which I enjoy, you know. Everyone lets me take the fishing equipment down to the beach and it’s the only time I have away from the crazy lot. I love them to death, don’t get me wrong, but when you’re stuck with these people for weeks on end and everyone’s all paranoid and biting each other’s heads off all the time– it can get pretty annoying. Sometimes you’ve gotta just get the [BLEEP] away from everyone.” 

📽️

Drakken was hard at work improving the camp grounds. 

His original design had served his original tribe well, but since he had the time and energy, he decided it was time for an upgrade. They still had weeks left on the beach and he intended to spend it in as much comfort as he could muster. 

He had adapted pretty well to using the tools he had created from the wood of the trees and the rocks he’d found lying around. It made it easier to collect more supplies, and of course Toby had no problems helping when Drakken asked. Even Eda pitched in.

“But only if you can make me a hammock,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

“That can be arranged.”

He enjoyed these days in between Tribal and the challenges. It meant they could try to recuperate, though it was hard in these conditions. Still, they water and James and Hatter always brought in enough food for everyone, Hatter preparing it and Su learning the ropes with his guidance. They didn’t have to worry about the basics, just about the constant bugs and heat. 

It quickly became a team effort, with Ken offering his help as soon as he saw Toby struggling with the wood he had collected. 

The only person who wasn’t helping was Cruz. 

He didn’t know where she had disappeared to but it was clear that the rest of the camp was wondering where her extra pair of hands had decided they would be better used for, too. Which was fine by him. 

He knew that the former Kaven tribe was his biggest fan and that they had been targeting him since their merge. It was why he had been over the moon that Toby, his greatest ally, had taken the former immunity challenge, ensuring their safety after he played the idol he had been lugging around with him since the beginning of their time here. He hadn’t needed to use it, as his tribe had been filled with people better suited to leave before himself. 

It had just been good fortune that they had won about the same amount of challenges as the Kaven tribe, trading Tribal Councils back and forth until they’d each been whittled down to nine people in total. Drakken had needed to form a strategy to get one of them to flip so that his tribe wouldn’t be picked off one by one, keeping them from the final five. 

And, as it turned out, they hadn’t needed to do much. 

He had known within five minutes of speaking with Toby that he was in the presence of someone who would be able to manipulate the social game of this experience as if it were a mere blade of grass between his fingers. The best part was that everyone underestimated him because, well– Drakken had to be honest, he didn’t exactly have the presence of someone to be fearful of. It was why Drakken had approached him in the first place, thinking he would be easy to get on his side if only he showed him some extension of friendship.

They had been a perfect pairing, if Drakken did say so himself. Drakken would point the finger and Toby would lay the groundwork in getting the person to fold in on themself and get everyone else to send them home. 

After Toby had own immunity and Su and James had said they should vote Ken, Drakken had agreed with them. But saw another opportunity after Su had informed everyone that Cruz had said she thought she was who was next on the chop and block. Clearly there was a misunderstanding between her and the other former Kaven’s and with a simple push, they had gotten her to send Gabriella home instead. 

The only problem moving forward from there would be getting Su and James to trust them again after betraying them and not getting Ken out. Drakken agreed that the furniture maker needed to go, a threat to everyone aside from perhaps Eda as far as physical challenges went, but it had been a much more elegant way of getting Gabriella out. And, at the end of the day, this was a game! Drakken wanted to play at a higher level than just getting the easy target out. 

When James had returned with his catches of the day, they had made a good dent in the refurbishments to the camp. The shelter was getting built out, allowing them more room, and had a better constructed roof that would protect them against any rain that decided to roll in. They had made another fire pit so that food could be made faster for everyone, instead of having to go one at a time. Drakken had even been able to start assembling the bases for raised beds for everyone. 

And, of course, he had made Eda her hammock, which she laid in while Hatter and Su began cooking the fish, as well as the coconuts Hatter had acquired

📽️

EdaThe Boiling Isles, Ingary

“I hate admitting this but I guess I will since he won’t see this until it airs– but Drakken isn’t kidding around when he says he knows his way around a tool box. He was over there drawing his ideas in the sand, explaining it to everyone. I didn’t really understand but, hey, if he was going to make the rest of the stay here that much more comfortable, I wasn’t going to stop him. And if this is what he can do with a bunch of sticks, a hatchet, and a rock for a hammer, then what can he do with an actual tool box? 

“Don’t get me wrong, I still want him gone, but that doesn’t mean I can’t get something out of his time left here, right?” 

📽️

Before anyone knew it, they were traveling to meet with Jeff for their reward challenge. 

Eda, who had been keeping up the bit of flirting with the host ever since they had met, blew the man a kiss. To which Jeff cracked a smile and reached up to catch it, stuffing it in one of his shirt’s breast pockets and patting it. 

“Come on in everyone,” Jeff said, putting his hands back on his hips as everyone fell into line across from him. “Let’s get to it. For today’s reward challenge, you’ll take part in an obstacle course. You’ll be running in teams of four, which you will draw for. Throughout the course will be bags of puzzle pieces you will be racing for. On my go, both members will race for their bags, come back up to this platform to place their bags at your team’s table and tag in your next team member who will jump down into an awaiting net to begin their part of the course. Once you have all the pieces, you will use them to solve a puzzle. The puzzle will help you solve a combination lock. The first person to finish and raise their flag will wins reward. Do you guys want to know what you’re playing for?”

Everyone nodded. 

“The team who wins will get to hop aboard our luxury yacht where there will be a buffet style meal waiting for them. Now, let’s draw for teams,” Jeff said, picking up and shaking the bag full of black and white rocks. 

One by one the contestants stuck their hand inside and pulled out a rock, resulting in two teams of four.

Toby, Hatter, Su and Cruz on one team. Eda, Ken, James, and Drakken on the other. 

“Here we go!” Jeff yelled from his spot on the platform beside the puzzle tables. “Looks like we have James and Su going up against one another to start us off.” 

“Good luck!” Su smiled, waving at James. 

“You, too, Su-Su,” James grinned back before the both of them turned and set their sights on the ledge they were jumping off of 

“Survivors ready! Go,” Jeff said, lifting a hand above his head. 

“Su and James, neck and neck. Both of them struggling to get out of the net, but it seems like Su’s got her footing a little before James has rolled out of the net. Didn’t look too graceful but whatever works. Su with her edge is pulling herself across the way to get to her bag, and it looks like James is going to be able to catch up with her here. Su working to untie her bag. Oh, it looks like James has already got his and is getting back across the line. Su has hers now, too, close behind. 

“James makes it to the staircase first, but Su is right behind him. Both of them bounding up these steps, able to tag in their teammates as soon as those bags are on the table. And there goes Eda, down into the net. Toby goes right after. Also doesn’t have the most graceful of landings, where Eda is already making her way across the ropes. Balance always impeccable–”

“Thank you, Jeff!” 

“Toby is up and finally over to the ropes, but Eda is getting her bag loose. Seems to be struggling with that knot, though, as Toby stumbled his way under that tunnel. Eda has her bag and is back under, trying to get across those ropes once again. Toby has his bag and– oh, putting it in his mouth. Okay, I guess that’s one way to do it. Eda is through the ropes and making her way to the stairs. Toby is still struggling. Here comes Eda, a few more steps and she has her bag down tagging in Ken who– whoa! Ken dives head first into the net. Dangerous play but it seemed to work out as he is already up and out of it

“Toby finally making his way to the stairs but Ken is already out of the net and hopping with seemingly no problems across the obstacle. Cruz finally able to tag in and makes quick work of the net.. Ken with his bag is starting to make his way back but Cruz , who has her foot on the gas pedal, is working on getting her bag already. Here comes Ken up the stairs. Cruz, who has single handedly made up for a lot of lost time for her team, is right there!

“Now Hatter is tagged in, and Drakken. The last of the bags need to be collecting before the teams can get started on this puzzle that will give them a clue on how to solve the number lock. Both Drakken and Hatter having a little trouble getting up and out of the net, but manage. Hatter looks like he has a slight edge up on Drakken as they make their way across the bridge. Here we go, who is going to get their bag first? Looks like it’s going to be Hatter, who is starting to come back across his bridge. Drakken now, too. They still have a long stretch of stairs to climb up, which should not be underestimated. After all this time spent out in the elements, testing the body physically and mentally, a stretch of stairs is brutal. But they both have made it up and have their final bag for their team! 

“You must first solve the puzzle, then follow the instructions. Here’s where the mental game starts, after all that running, you gotta keep your head and not panic so you can fit these pieces together before the other team. Drakken is quickly getting on it, as usual. Toby, Cruz, Su, and Hatter working through the puzzle. Everyone on Drakken’s team seems to be letting him do the work while all four on the other team are trying to work together. Drakken seems to be making a lot of progress though. It’s going to come down to who can finish this the fastest. Right now it looks like Drakken has the leg up. This puzzle contains clue, these clues will help you solve the combination lock. That lock will release your flag, and that team will be rewarded with an afternoon on a luxury boat with a full buffet. It’s that simple, and it’s that complicated. 

“Drakken continues to make progress on his team’s puzzle, but the other teams looks close, too but they need to pick it up. Looks like Drakken has…solved the puzzle! Now his team is trying to solve the clues. Everything you need is right there, if they read them, they will be given the answers to solve the combination lock. Eda jumps back off into the net to go seek out information, Ken going with her. 

“Looks like the other team has their puzzle together and are trying to read the clues. Ken is back from wherever he went to tell Drakken something. Now Drakken already has four of the six numbers they need and here comes Eda back up the steps. Does she have the right information? Drakken is putting in the last two numbers, given to him by Eda, giving it a try. Will it work? It does! Eda, Drakken, James, and Cruz win reward!” Jeff yelled, tossing up his hands with the double peace signs far above his head. 

Once everyone had gathered back down at the bottom for production, the winning team standing next to Jeff while the other four sat down on a log, Jeff spoke again. “Alright, to review, you four have won an evening aboard a yacht where you will have access to a full buffet meal. You can keep it for yourself, but if you want to give it up to someone else, you can do that as well.” 

“I’m keeping it,” Eda is quick to say. 

James and Ken nod their agreement. 

Drakken, though, raises his hand. “I’ll give mine to Cruz.”

This startled everyone. Even Jeff’s eyes widened. 

“Cruz?”

“Yes,” Drakken confirmed. “She worked really hard to give her team a fair shot, and hasn’t been on a reward at all this whole game. I think she needs it more than I do.”

“Okay,” Jeff said. “Drakken is giving his reward up to Cruz, everyone else is keeping theirs. The yacht will pick you four up. Everyone else, good effort. Head on back to camp.”

📽️

DrakkenSan Antonio, Texas

“Everyone might be thinking, why would I give my reward up to the girl who didn’t lift a finger to help us spruce up the camp? Well, to be honest, I think it will be good to send her with those three. James will stay loyal to Su. That much has been clear to me since the beginning. They’re two peas in a pod. Which is great, but Toby and I need to get her back on our side. If we have her, then we have James, too. And Su is close to Hatter. She might be able to get him to flip. Meanwhile, I know Cruz is going to be on that boat as the only person who didn’t earn her place there. That will create resentment. At least, I believe it will. Ken probably doesn’t have the brain width to care, but Eda and James will. Especially if she’s talking to them, trying to be positive like she always is. That’s not their personalities. It will just grate on them. It’s perfect! Sure, I miss out on food, but what else is new?  

“And I didn’t want to go if Toby couldn’t come. This way I can continue working on the beds I’ve designed. Hopefully get them together before the next Immunity challenge.” 

📽️

Almost comically, Drakken’s predictions go exactly as he had thought they would. 

While Ken was busy putting away plate after plate of food, Cruz attempted to cozy back up to Eda, who didn’t want to hear it. Her attempts to talk to James are futile as well, as he kept his mouth full or gave her monosyllabic answers to any questions or offers she threw out. 

Back on the beach, the remaining four carry on with chores around camp. As soon as Hatter disappeared into the forest, no doubt to go collect his usual run of fruits and other plants, Drakken and Toby sit down to help Su start cutting up coconuts. 

Drakken cut right to the chase. “We’re sorry we didn’t tell you or James about the vote.”

“Why didn’t you?” Su accused.

“Because we knew you were close with Gabriella,” Toby admitted.

“And you didn’t think I would vote with her? Even if it was with you guys?”

“No,” Drakken said. “We didn’t want you to have to vote for her.”

Su frowned. “But it would have guaranteed you sent her home if you had my vote as a fourth.”

“Three was enough.”

She sighed and then nodded. “So now what? You guys are back to talking to me again? Just like that? Because you need me?”

“Yes,” Drakken said, uncaring that it may have seemed weak. This was the game. “And you need us. You have James, sure, but you know everyone will be wanting to vote me off. The last Tribal showed that. And if I go, then they’ll pick you three off one by one.”

“You think they’re still loyal to one another?”

“Seems to be that way,” Drakken shrugged. “We are.”

“Are we?”

“Only if you want to be,” Toby said. 

“And,” Drakken added, glancing over his shoulder in the direction Hatter had gone. “If you can get Mr. Hatter to flip, we can save ourselves another round here.”

“But…then who are we voting out? Ken?” 

Toby and Drakken glanced sideways at one another. 

“Assuming he doesn’t win immunity, sure. If not, we’ll have to think about someone else,” Drakken said. “But do you think you can convince Mr. Hatter?”

“I don’t think I need to convince him,” Su said. “He’s smart. He knows Ken will go on an Immunity run if we let him. If I let him know that’s what you guys are doing, he’ll probably agree to take the opportunity to get him out while we can. And–! Him and Eda are friends, he would probably tell her, too.”

“Perfect,” Drakken smiled and then stood. “Alright! Well, I’m going to get back to work. Let me know if you need anything.”

Su nodded, and her and Toby continued cracking coconuts, discussing movies together until Hatter returned to start cooking their dinner, which wasn’t a buffet, but it was

📽️

KenDallas, Texas

“Where do you guys get your food! That stuff was great! I think I are at least– I don’t know ten steaks? I mean, I felt like puking by the time I was done, but James had challenged me to that watermelon off and I couldn’t say no.” 

📽️

“Come on in guys!” Jeff said, watching the contestants make their way across the beach toward him. As everyone lined up, he made his way over to Toby. “First things first, I’ll take back the idol.”

Toby presented the necklace of feathers, beads, and plates of metal back to Jeff, who walked it back over to rest on a post where it would remain until the winner of that day’s challenge would get to claim it. “Once again, Immunity, back up for grabs. Okay! Let’s get to today’s challenge. You are going to be attached to a rope that it attached to a precariously balanced bucket of water above your heads. If you drop your arm, the bucket of water will fall, and you will be out. The last person to let their water rain down will win Immunity and be guaranteed a spot in the final seven. Losers, Tribal Council, where someone will become the second member of our jury.” 

 Once everyone was fastened into the bracelets, their arms stretched up above their heads, Jeff raised his hand. 

“And begin.”

Silence stretched over the contestants aside from the occasional sniff.

After the first twenty minutes passed, Jeff started to walk around. 

“Feeling anything James? Back starting to get to you a little?”

“Yeah,” the boy nodded, reaching up to push his buff back out of his eyes. He’d been wearing it there like a sweat band to keep his curls from sticking to his forehead and out of his eyes. “But it’s mainly my ass that’s hurting.”

“What?” Jeff laughed a little. “Why’s that?”

On either side of James, Ken and Eda laughed, too. 

“They know. They were there,” James smiled. “You see, Jeff, yesterday when I was on that big fancy boat, I slipped on deck and smacked my butt against the floor.”

“Oooh,” Jeff winced. 

“Exactly,” James nodded. 

“Well hang in there,” he said and moved along to where Eda was waiting for him. “How are you today, Eda?”

“I’m wonderful now that you’re here, Jeffery, how are you?”

“I’m doing good,” he smiled.

“Ugh, careful, you show me those dimples any longer and I’m going to have to dump this bucket of cold water all over me.”

Jeff ducked his head, quick to move along to where Drakken was standing, who was quick to point out, “Eda, you made him blush!”

Toby was the first one out, his bucket coming down at the half hour mark. But as soon as his tipped, so did Su’s. The pair of them went to go sit on the shaded wood benches off to the side, smiling and shaking their heads at one another as they wiped their water logged faces off. 

Drakken’s came next at around 45 minutes, and then Hatter’s just before the hour. 

After an hour and a half, James started singing. 

“What is that?” Drakken asked, looking to Su who was rolling her eyes. 

“Baby Shark,” she groaned and then cupped her hands around her mouth. “Shut up! You’re going to get that stuck in my head.

James only got louder. 

At two hours, Jeff was back and he had a plate with a cheeseburger on it. “Wouldn’t be Survivor without a little temptation.”

“Come on, Jeff!” James said. “That’s just cruel, man.”

“What are you talking about? You just had a full buffet not too long ago,” Jeff shot back. 

“I was talking about the other ones over there.”

“You could give it to them, if you got out,” the host goaded. “It might not win you Immunity, but it could get you a vote in your favor.”

“Sneaky, sneaky, Probst,” James shook his head, but did cast a glance over to where the other four were all sitting out. 

“Don’t do it, James!” Su called out. “Hang in there!” 

James looked back to Jeff, smiling, “You heard her.”

Jeff moved along, holding the plate underneath Ken and Cruz’s noses. But when everyone passed it up he wandered over to Hatter, Drakken, Toby, and Su to hand off the plate. They each took turns taking a bite until it was all gone. 

Cruz’s bucket came down about half an hour later. 

Unfortunately, when Jeff brought out a plate of chocolate chip cookies, James was quick to take the plate. He brought it over to the bench to share the spread and watch as Eda and Ken continued to hang in there. 

“Come on, Ken,” Eda started to haggle at four hours in. “You know you want to.”

“I do,” he nodded but offered nothing else after this, going back to staring at nothing. 

Eda huffed. As simple minded as he was, sometimes it sure didn’t work in anyone’s favor but his own since he wasn’t even picking up that she was trying to talk smack to him.  

Finally, after the six hour mark, Eda’s bucked wavered and fell over her head. 

“Ken wins Immunity!” Jeff called from his spot on the ground under some trees, he pushed himself to his feet. “Eda put up a good fight, but in the end, Ken takes it.”

Ken smiled wide, undoing his wrist band to meet Jeff and bend down a little for the host to put the idol around his neck. 

“Safe from tonight’s vote, three more days out here. Immunity is valuable, as you know, and you can assign it to someone else if you want. You’ll have this afternoon to think about it. Everyone, you can head back to camp, but I will be seeing you again tonight for Tribal Council.”

📽️

TobyGlen Waverley, Australia

“Since Ken has Immunity, we had to rethink what we’re going to do for tonight. It was actually a lot more simple than I thought it was going to be. Su and James agreed with Drakken and I, and then Su said that she would talk to Hatter and see where his head was at. I didn’t necessarily have the best feeling she’d be able to convince him to vote with us, but that’s probably because the man’s only ever said a few words to me. He’s quite scary when he wants to be, have you noticed?

“Anyway– I about had a heart attack when both he and Eda came over to me while I was on the beach. I thought I was going to be the first person murdered on this show. But they were just coming to see what the deal was that Su was trying to talk them about. I explained it better and I think we’ve all agreed on what to do. I asked if they wanted to include Ken in on it but they said they’d talk to him. So. We’ll see. If not, I’m confident we’ll have four votes. But if they’ve got four votes…we’ll see.” 

📽️

CruzSwynlake, UK

“So I saw Su talking to Hatter while they were making dinner and thought, Hmm, because soon after he got up and went to poke Eda, who also got up and walked with him down to the beach. Now, they had told me that we were going to vote for Toby because I didn’t want to vote for Drakken after he gave me his reward. But if Su was still loyal to him and Drakken, I wanted to know if she was trying to get Hatter to flip because the only other option would have been for me or Eda since Ken has Immunity! 

“I go over to Su and get the scoop. Turns out Su and James are the ones who are flipping on Drakken and wanted to let them know that if they vote Drakken, they were with them. And I was like–” Cruz put a hand to her chest, breathing out and then smiling wide. “Woo! I mean, yeah, I feel bad but it’s a good move. If we blind side him then it’s a great move, and we get him out. Then we just have to get Toby out, which will be easy, and their votes will go to whoever makes it to the end. And I plan on one of those someone’s being me.”

📽️

Everyone took their seats on the benches at Tribal Council after placing their torches in their designated holds. Jeff watched them from the other side of the fire, the flames higher than usual. 

“We’ll now bring in the first member of the jury.”

Gabriella walked out, looking clean and lovely in a sundress. Her hair was down around her shoulders, bangs no longer in the disarray everyone had gotten to know as she spent time out in the water with James fishing, the salt water and sun drying it oddly. An interpreter joined her. She smiled and waved, beaming at Su and Cruz as she took her seat. 

“Gabriella is here merely to observe, gathering information to help him make a very important vote at the final Tribal Council,” Jeff went on before taking his own seat on the cushioned stool. “Okay. You all have been out here for a long time now. Toby, is there anyone in this tribe you couldn’t survive without?”

Instantly, the man’s finger pointed to James, “This one. His ability to catch fish and do it every day might be the only reason I haven’t died. I think we’d be in much worse conditions without him. Or Hatter.”

“Eda, how important are James’ fishing abilities, would you say?” 

“Very important,” she agreed, turning to wink at the kid who smiled back at her. “Yeah, I mean, he and Hatter are the hunter gatherers. Hatter and Su do the cooking. I’m not complaining at all.”

“Would you say there’s anyone here who’s getting a free ride?” Jeff asked. “Are you?”

“I pull my weight, everyone here does, honestly. Drakken over here has been renovating the camp in his free time and we’ve all been pitching in to help,” Eda said. “Well. Almost everyone.”

“What’s that mean?”

Eda shrugged, grinning. “It means what it means, Jeffery.” 

“You’re not going to name names?”

“They know who they are. Everyone does.”

“I don’t!” Jeff grinned, making everyone laugh. “But okay, I get it. Ken, you have Immunity. It’s yours to keep, or give away to someone else. If you want to.”

“I’ll keep it,” Ken said.

“Wise decision,” Jeff said. “Alright, that being said, Ken cannot be voted for tonight. Everyone else is fair game. It is time to vote. Cruz, you’re up.”

One by one, everyone rose from their seats to go write down a name and put it into the vase with the other votes. When they had all done it, Jeff went to grab the vase and bring it over to the little table in the place his stool had once sat. 

“Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The person voted out will be asked to leave the Tribal Council area immediately. I’ll read the votes,” he said and took the lid off. Jeff took a paper out, turning it around to face them. “First vote. Toby.”

Drakken reached over to put a hand on his shoulder and Toby smiled at him before they both looked back to Jeff who pulled out the next paper. “Drakken. One vote Toby, one vote Drakken.” 

Cruz turned her had, glancing over at the pair, feeling a little smug. 

But neither of them looked worried. She blinked and turned her eyes to the other players there. The only person who did look a little confused was Ken but– when didn’t he look confused at Tribal Council?

“Cruz,” said Jeff, making her head snap in his direction, eyebrows raising. “One vote Toby, one vote Drakken, one vote Cruz.” 

He pulled out the next paper. 

“Cruz.”

And the next. 

“Cruz.”

And the next two, which all read Cruz.

“The ninth person voted out of their tribe,” Jeff said and turned the paper over to reveal another one that read Cruz. “Cruz. You need to bring me your torch.” 

Numbly she stood up, pulled her torch from its spot, and carried it over to Jeff. She looked over the other players, and saw Eda smiling at her. Cruz couldn’t believe it. She had been the blind side all along? Cruz blinked, her stomach sinking, as she faced Jeff. 

“Cruz, your tribe has spoken,” he told her and put out the fire of her torch. Smoke replaced the flames as Cruz walked down the path away from Tribal Council, still trying to work out where exactly she had gone wrong. The host addressed those that remained, “You guys can head back to camp. Good night.” 

----

36 days ago, 16 contestants began the adventure of a lifetime. Wearing only their street clothes they journeyed to Fiji where they were thrown into their first challenge. Literally. 

“You will jump off this boat and swim to gather the supplies you and your tribe will need to survive your time on the beach.” 

Right from the beginning the Kaven Tribe were antagonistic and refused to work together, while the Jaber Tribe seemed to click instantly. Once at camp, the Jabers continued to do well, using their strengths to come together to help one another. The Kaven Tribe were finally able to find their footing after Eda emerged as a leader and got everyone to work together to build a shelter that would keep them dry those first nights. 

The tribes traded the Immunity Idol back and forth throughout the first days, but each would see half of their tribes eliminated as the days wore on. On day 21 the game changed and the two tribes were merged. They became the Anabars. 

Old alliances broke down when Cruz made a few dangerous mistakes. First, in being the one to help vote out Gabriella and making her the first member of the jury. Then, when trying to convince Su that she was the one that voted with her, accidentally exposed herself as being a liar. 

“She said what?” James yelped, only to get Su’s hand pressed to his mouth. 

“Shh!” Su hushed. “Obviously I know she’s lying. Your handwriting is too distinct.”

 In the end, Cruz was the next to go as the former Jabers convinced two of the former Kavens to vote with them to get her out of the game. 

Hatter and Eda made a pact to stay together. And Drakken, Toby, Su, and James continued their bond in having once been in a tribe together.  Uneasy with the bond they seemed to have, Eda used Hatter to try to break Su away from Drakken and Eda, and bringing her alliance with James along with her. 

Meanwhile, Ken continued to dominate and won three consecutive Immunity challenges. 

“Ken wins Immunity!” 

“Ken wins Immunity!”

“Once again, Ken wins Immunity, guaranteeing himself a spot in the final four!” 

Three tight duos continued to battle it out, trying to break one another up. Eda and Hatter versus James and Su versus Toby and Drakken. Loyalties ran deep as everyone tried to convince Ken to be their third vote. But in the end, Drakken was able to convince Su and James to vote with him and Toby to get Eda out, breaking up her and Hatter. 

Only then, with James and Su thinking they would take Hatter out next, Drakken got Hatter on his and Toby’s side, along with bringing in Ken, to vote out James. 

The last of the duos standing, it was Toby who went home next, as Su, Ken, and Hatter came together to break them up. 

After that Hatter went next as Drakken was able to convince Ken to vote with him after giving Ken the reward challenge of seeing his loved one. 

The final Immunity challenge resulted in an upset, as Drakken took the Immunity Idol, leaving Su and Ken to start preparing for the Fire Building Challenge to see who would get to join Drakken as the final two survivors to plead their case to the jury. It seemed that everyone, even Ken, knew Su, who had been starting fires throughout their stay here alongside Hatter to prepare meals, would be taking the victory. 

In another surprise, Drakken gave his Immunity to Ken. 

“I’ll be making fire against Su tonight, Jeff.”

“Wow.” 

And in a memorable Fire Making Challenge, it was Drakken who took the lead, leaving Su to become apart of the final jury who will vote tonight to see who will be the sole survivor. 

--

“Drakken. Ken. We will now bring in our final jury,” Jeff said, listing out the names of the former players as they filed in to fill the benches. “Gabriella, Cruz, Eda, Hatter, Toby, James, and Su.” 

Jeff also took a seat, smiling at the pair. “Welcome to your final Tribal Council. The game changes tonight as you are no longer in control. That power belongs to your former Tribe members, seven people that you had a hand in voting out of this game now control your fate entirely. Your task tonight will be to convince this jury that you are the most worthy of the title of Sole Survivor and the million-dollar prize. Here’s how it will work, I’ll give you the chance to make an opening statement. That will be your time to convince your jury that you’re worthy. The jury will then get an opportunity to ask you a question. You’ll then get to make a final rebuttal. After hearing your responses the jury will vote. The biggest vote in 39 days is going to happen tonight. Ready to get started?”

Ken smiled, nodding, “Let’s go!”

“Okay, with that enthusiasm, Ken, why don’t you go first?”

“Hi, everyone,” Ken said as he turned to face them. “I’m really happy to get to see you all again. Pondaosa looks like it’s been treating you all very well. So, I feel like I deserve to win because I’ve shown that I am a survivor! I’ve won the most Immunity challenges, and I think everyone can agree that I was able to get Kraven a lot of those wins. I may not have been as good at catching fish as James, or could cook like Su or Hatter could, but I helped where I could. And I was always a team player! Any time anyone came to me with a plan, I would back them 100%. I never doubled back on my word, even when the people I thought I could trust left me out of their decisions. But my strategy was to make sure I could be the go-to guy and for those last few Tribal Councils, I was that guy. I was the one you all came to me, hoping to get my vote.” 

Jeff nodded, then gestured, “Drakken.”

“I know many of you here don’t like me. Either I was too assertive for your taste or you didn’t like the way I spoke to you. That’s fine. I accept that. But I want to ask you all to think about this game and all that I have done. I found two Hidden Idols, using one to save a fellow teammate of mine at the beginning and then myself while me and Toby were able to get Cruz to willy nilly write a name she didn’t even think would mean anything, until she wound up voting with us and getting Gabriella voted off. Then I was able to blindside Cruz herself and get her own tribe alliance to flip on her. And, it was thanks to me that we all had beds to sleep on instead of the ground for those last fatiguing days at the camp. I think I deserve to win because I played a smart game. When given the opportunity, I didn’t just walk in here because I couldn’t be voted out. I chose to earn it and show why I deserve to win. I can make shelter, I can build a fire, I can designate the work where it needs to go, and I can survive all 39 days without going on a single reward challenge.”

“Jury,” Jeff said, “in a moment you’re going to have a chance to ask Drakken and Ken a question that will help you decide who you think should be the Sole Survivor. We’ll give you a second to think about what you want to say.” 

 Time passed and when those fifteen minutes were up, Jeff spoke again. 

“Alright, jury, the goal here is to gain information to help you make an important vote. So do not waste this opportunity.” 

“Why are you looking at me?” James asked.

Jeff shrugged, “I was just making sure you were paying attention. Gabriella, you’re up first.”

The girl stood, her interpreter standing beside her, translating aloud as she signed, “Congratulations, you guys.”

“Thank you,” Ken smiled while Drakken nodded in reply. 

“Ken,” Gabriella signed, “you were given the Immunity Idol at the end and a free pass to sit here. Why should I give you the million dollars when Drakken decided to earn his way here?”

“Well, I don’t think I got a free pass. I think I earned my way here, too. I won the Immunity challenges to get here which, you all know, are no easy task. Especially when going up against people like Eda, who is an absolute power house, or Su, who is deceptively fast! There were some close calls in there, but I managed and I think that should count for something.”

Gabriella nodded, “Thank you. Drakken, my question for you, do you think you would have made it this far without Toby?” 

“Honestly? No, I don’t think so,” he shook his head, glancing over at the man in question. He smiled as he spoke, “Toby served as my filter for a lot of the game. I think without him, my first Tribe would have voted me out a long long time ago. But he was able to help me and advocate for me. I appreciate him a lot, but I will say that it was because I didn’t underestimate him like everyone else that I was able to bring him to the forefront of this game as well. We worked together. Without him, I wouldn’t be here, but without me, he wouldn’t have gotten this far either, and I think he would agree.”

Toby nodded earnestly when Gabriella turned to check. “Okay, thank you.”

“Thank you,” Drakken signed back, making Gabriella smile as she returned to her seat. 

“Cruz,” Jeff beckoned. She bounced up and over, waving.

“Hi!” she grinned. “So, I’m actually super impressed with the both of you! But my question is super basic and it’s for both of you. What would you do with the million dollars?”

Drakken cleared his throat, indicating he was going to answer first, “I’m a science teacher, and in my time in that profession I recognize that education is vital. But it’s so underfunded it’s ridiculous. So, while I would use a portion of that money on myself and mom, who deserves to be papered a little, I would also try to find politicians and organizations to help that would start the fire burning on education again. We are in dire need of it. Kids should be given the resources they need to, forgive the pun, survive in this world. We’ve failed them, but I want to try to make up for it. Or at least start to.”

“Wow, that was…that’s a really good answer,” Ken nodded before blowing out a breath, running a hand through his hair. “I think I would donate it all.”

“All of it?” Cruz questioned. “You wouldn’t take any of it for yourself?”

“Nah,” Ken shrugged. 

“Wow,” Jeff said. 

“It’s not like I need it.”

There was a round of silence that passed over the scene and Ken frowned, looking around at the shocked faces, mouths agape. 

“What do you mean?”’

“Well, I’m pretty well off,” Ken said like this was obvious. “My family’s business is big! Carson’s furniture.”

“Carson’s Furniture company? That’s what you meant by you’re a carpenter?” Eda said from the benches. 

“Okay, okay, okay!” Jeff cut in. “If you want to ask a question, Eda, you’ll have to wait your turn.” 

“Sorry, Jeffery,” she said, holding up her hands. 

“Cruz, if you’ll return to your seat. Eda.” 

The older woman replaced Cruz’s spot, “So, Ken, you’re rich? Why are you even here?”

“I’ve always loved the show! I thought it would be fun. I liked getting to meet everyone and make friends, it was a really nice time.”

Eda blinked her eyes in disbelief, laughing in a way that sounded more like a scoff. “Right…great. Okay, well, Drakken, why did you decide you wanted to build fire against Su when you already had Immunity?”

“I wanted to show everyone that I earned my place here. We were all aware that apart from Hatter that Su was the best fire maker out of us. If I won, it would be another thing to add to my resume. It was risky, but I spent the whole game making risky plays. I was able to get out James and Hatter with these strategies. High risk means high reward and since I’m over here, and you all are over there, it worked out.”

Eda shook her head, “Do you always have to be such an ass?”

Drakken smiled, “I think Jeff told you that you only had one question to spare.”

Eda stuck out her tongue to him.

“Satisfied?” Jeff prompted. 

Eda turned, giving him a once over, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

Jeff blinked then quickly recovered, waving her on. “Sit down. James, you’re up.”

“Alright, how about you guys tell me why the other one doesn’t deserve to win the million dollars? Ken, you can go first,” James said. 

Ken made a face, looking at Drakken, who laughed at him. “Come on, you were asked, you have to answer.”

“I don’t know!” Ken shrugged helplessly. “I– I mean he was kinda mean and disrespectful a lot of the time but everyone would say stuff!”

“Not you, Ken,” Su piped up.

“That can’t be true,” he shook his head.

“No, I think it is,” Drakken agreed. “You’re pretty much the only one here who didn’t make enemies.”

“Yeah,” James nodded. “We all hate you because you’re so fit and still manage to look like that after nearly 40 days on a beach with only fish and coconuts to eat.”

Ken laughed, rubbing at his bearded face. 

“My answer to this question,” Drakken said, “would be to cite what Ken just said. He doesn’t need the money. He’s already rich, he came here for the experience, which he already got.” 

James nodded, lower lip jutting out, and returned to his place. 

“Toby,” Jeff nodded. Toby rose from his spot, stumbling a little as he stepped down from the second row, but recovering as he made his way to the designated spot for the camera. 

“How you going?” he greeted, smiling at them. “Ken, I have really admired your optimism throughout this whole experience. Honestly, some days I would get up and not want to be sitting in the sand or doing those hard challenges every few days, or getting in my head, paranoid about who was thinking what, but through it all you were always so positive. Always just– so happy to be there! How did you do that?” 

“Thank you, man. That– that means a lot to me,” Ken said, having to swallow to clear his throat, which had become tight with emotion. “Um, I don’t know! That’s just kind of who I am. Like I said, I wanted to be on this show because I’ve always liked watching it and thought it was such an honor to be chosen. And the people I got to be on it with! I know this sounds corny, or whatever, but I love you guys. You were the reasons I wanted to get up in the mornings. James and Eda’s jokes, Drakken making some really funky contraptions with nothing but leaves and sticks. Hatter and Su able to make fish not feel like the same dish over and over again. And you, Toby, you would always come talk to me about some really deep stuff– yeah. That’s my answer. You guys.”

“Thank you,” Toby said and then turned his attention to Drakken. They smiled at one another, obvious warmth between them. “Hi.”

“Hello, Tobias,” Drakken said getting a round of chuckles from the group. 

“I don’t really have a question for you because I think we all know we were close and I know a lot about you by now. I just wanted to say that I’m so grateful for this experience and that you decided to come talk to me that day you did, because– well I’ve never had a best friend. I’ve never had a friend, so I didn’t know what that was like growing up. But I finally do and even though I didn’t win, I still feel like I did, since I know you. You made me a better person, showed me I was capable of things I didn’t think I was. And I really appreciate that.”

Drakken, who had gone glassy eyed, merely nodded his head and turned away, rubbing at his eyes with his sleeve.

“Thank you, Toby. That was– very emotional,” Jeff commented. “Hatter, you’re next.” 

Hatter stayed where he was seated, “I don’t have any questions.”

“Really?” Jeff asked. “You’ve already made up your mind?”

Hatter nodded.

“Okay then,” Jeff said. “Su, that leaves you.”

She stood up, smiling at them. “First, I just wanted to say congratulations to the both of you! It was really great getting to be there at the end with you both, so…um, but yeah! So for me, this is coming down between Ken having the survivability and physicality of the game, but Drakken, you having the strategic and mental game. I want to know why you think those strengths should win out over the other?”

“The game is called Survivor,” Ken said. “Right? In order to survive, you need to know certain things. How to build shelter, get water, start a fire, and get food. As well as being able to survive the elements. I think through these challenges and our time at camp, I’ve shown I’m capable of that. And I didn’t really have the strategies that other people did. I wasn’t even aware of that stuff going on! But I’m here, and that’s because of my abilities, physically.”

“Ken’s right, there are a lot of advantages someone of his physic are afforded,” Drakken said. “But, he played an easier game than me. I don’t think the challenges are easy, obviously, they’re designed by the team here to drive us out of our minds and to each other’s throats! That’s only a small portion of the game though. The thing that makes this show, this whole concept, continue on is the fact that there are different people here each time. No one person is the same, no one season of this show is the same because of the different cast. That’s what makes it interesting, seeing how we play against all these different people. And that’s where I think I thrived. It’s a greater strength to have than any amount of the physicality because while I could have lost all the challenges, so long as I tugged the right chords with people, I was able to make it here. And at the end of the day, it’s the social aspect that is going to decide, because you all are going to be biased one way or another, and it’s the people who will vote. Not any challenge between us. Otherwise they’d have us facing off right now instead of doing this, right?”

“Okay,” Su nodded, one corner of her mouth curling up. “Thank you!”

“Thanks, Su,” Jeff said, letting her return to her seat before speaking again. “Ken, Drakken, you’ve endured the questions and comments from the jury. In just a moment I’ll give you a chance to make a final rebuttal. I suggest you take this time to think about what you want your last words before the vote to be. Ken, we’ll start with you.”

“Right. I know I said earlier that I didn’t need the million dollars, and while that is true, I do still want to win! I made it this far and think I did all that I could in order to show people that I was capable of it. I did not just walk in here with a free pass, I won challenge after challenge, and stayed loyal to people when they asked that of me. I played this game the only way I knew how. I was never deceptive or tried to be anyone I wasn’t. I’ve always just been Ken. And I have no regrets about that. Thank you all for your time! Like I said, I loved this experience because I got to do it with all of you.” 

“Drakken,” Jeff said. “Last chance to convince the jury to give you a million dollars.”

“No pressure,” he said, getting a soft chuckle from both Jeff and the jury. “I deserve that million dollars because I want it. I have wanted it from the time I signed up for this show all the way up to this point. It wasn’t my only motivating factor, but it’s been there in the back of my mind, like it has all of ours. I was willing to do whatever it took to get here. I played the game and I played it well. You all were witness to that. I was always thinking ahead, I had plans set up in case anything happened and then some! I had help, but we’re human. We all need help. That’s why they don’t send us to this island alone. I showed you all what I was capable of, and I continued to do that until the very end where I had the opportunity to just sit back and watch as Su and Ken duked it out but instead decided to show everyone, and even myself, that I could make fire and beat someone else at doing it with the pressure of that million dollars resting on my shoulders. It would mean a lot to me to have that money, and it would mean a lot to my mother, and the education system that I plan on revitalizing with it. Thank you.”

“Okay,” Jeff said. “Drakken, Ken, thank you for your comments. Jury, thank you for your questions. It is now time, finally, to get to the vote. Voting is a little different tonight as you are not voting someone out of the game. You will be voting for who you think deserves to win. You are voting for the person that you think is most deserving of the title Sole Survivor and the million dollars. So you want to see your name on the parchment tonight. It is time to vote. Gabriella, you’re up.”

And in the familiar way they had all grown accustomed to in their time on the island, one by one the members of the jury rose to go write a name down and cast their vote. They held up their paper for the camera to give their last comments. 

Gabriella signed, “Drakken, I may not have liked you, but you played a good game. I was completely surprised every Tribal Council when something would happen and you would have this knowing look in your eyes, like you had been planning for it. You deserve to win.”

“Drakken,” Cruz said, “I’m only voting for you after finding out Ken’s actually been rich this whole time. He’s nice and beat all our asses in the challenges, which I admired a lot! But since you’re right, if he was just here for a good time, then he got that. You should have the money and the title.”

“Unfortunately, I’ve gotta give it to Drakken,” Eda rolled her eyes as she held up his name on her piece of parchment. “Ken’s a nice guy and all, but Drakken really played the game. I hate saying he’s smart, but he was. And…ah, [BEEP] it, if he and Toby don’t wind up being best friends after this, then I’ll track him down and throw him into the ocean myself.”

“Drakken, I’m giving it to you so you can get those kids their beakers or whatever the hell you were on about,” James said as he cast his vote. “And, yeah, you’re a smart bloke. I hope you can turn that million dollars into something good. You’re not as beautiful and lovely as Ken, but that’s not the game and I won’t let myself vote with my heart knowing he’s just some rich bloke who wanted to have a beach get away. Even if he is really nice and probably didn’t know he’d get a million dollars at the end of this. Anyway, congratulations. You’re still a bitch, though.”

Toby smiled at the camera as he held up Drakken’s name, “I know this isn’t a surprise or anything but I really think you deserve this. You played an outstanding game! I couldn’t have asked for a better partner and friend throughout my time here. I think you’ve proven to all of us why you deserve to win.”

Hatter made no comment, simply showed that he had written Dr. Drakken on his parchment and went back. 

“I really wanted to vote for Ken,” Su said, showing she had written Drakken’s name with a smiley face next to it. “But he shot himself in the foot. Drakken, you do deserve this, even if you were kinda mean.”

When she returned, Jeff said, “For the last time, I’ll go tally the votes.”

He returned with the vase, “I know you guys would want me to read these votes out now but it’s going to have to wait. I’ll see you all on the other side.”

Jeff tucked the vase under his arm and walked out of Tribal Council, making his way across the beach in the light of the moon. 

–

Everyone returned for the reunion, where that final episode was being shown to the live audience. Up on stage, Jeff walked out with the vase, as if this was a seamless transition from the end of the film to the show being recorded now. Cheers erupted, the band picked up where the music from the show had dropped off, and the whole cast of that season sat waiting on the stage, looking far better than they had during their time on the island. 

Drakken and Ken, in particular, looked vastly different. As they had been the last two seen in their island garb and worn features. Both of their facial hair had been trimmed, their hair trimmed and styled. Ken wore an expensive looking outfit while Drakken merely looked put together in comparison. 

Jeff placed the vase with the votes on the little table, smiling out at the crowd. 

Eda, who had yet to let up on her bit, and that the cast and general crew of the show was thinking was very much not a bit anymore, stood up from her place to whistle loudly, using her fingers between her teeth to get it to sound above all the general noise. Jeff looked toward her and she grinned at him, sitting back down. 

Finally, when the audience settled, Jeff spoke. “All right. Let’s get to it. Ken and Drakken, our final two, have been waiting a long time to hear this. Congratulations. Jury, thank you for a very good final Tribal Council. Like I said earlier, this is the time when you want to see your name on the parchment tonight. The person with the most votes will be declared our winner of the million dollars and given the title of Sole Survivor. There are seven votes inside here and it will take four to win. I’ll read the votes.”

One by one, they were read out. Seven votes for Drakken. Zero for Ken. Everyone had already started cheering by the time the fourth vote was read out, but Jeff quickly got through the next three to let the true celebration begin. 

“In a unanimous vote, that makes Benjamin Drakken the winner of this season of Survivor!” 

Toby had jumped up from his seat, meeting Drakken on the other side of the stage in a hug. Other followed, giving Ken his dues and getting their congratulations in for Drakken as well. The crowd applauded, and Jeff approached to give both finalists a hug. 

Eda, of course, was waiting for him to be finished to gather the host in a hug, too. Which he accepted. 

But it wasn’t like he had much of a choice. 

“Drakken!” Jeff called over Eda’s shoulder, getting his attention. “Go on down stage, you mom’s here! Go give her a hug.”

Drakken started that way, but grabbed Toby’s sleeve to pull him along with him to go greet Ms. Lipsky where she had walked onto the stage. She was crying, and wrapped Drakken up into a hug while Toby stood, waiting. Drakken introduced them and Ms. Lipsky grabbed Toby by the face, pressing large kisses to his cheeks. 

Jeff, who still had Eda’s arms around his middle, looked at the camera, “Join us for our reunion! Coming up next! This has been Survivor!”

[laresearchette]

Wednesday, December 28, 2022 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: HILLSONG: A MEGACHURCH EXPOSED (TLC Canada) 8:00pm MY DNA MYSTERY (TLC Canada) 10:00pm

WHAT IS <i>NOT</i> PREMIERING IN CANADA TONIGHT THE 45TH ANNUAL KENNEDY CENTER HONORS (CBS Feed) THE GIFT: KINDNESS GOES VIRAL (CBS Feed)

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

CBC GEM THE GREAT BRITISH BAKING SHOW (Season 12 New Year Special)

DISNEY + STAR ENCANTO AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL ME & MICKEY (Season 1) — Shorts

NETFLIX CANADA 7 WOMEN AND A MURDER THE CIRCLE (Season 5) A NIGHT AT THE KINDERGARTEN STUCK WITH YOU

IIHF WORLD JUNIORS (TSN/TSN5) 4:00pm: Slovakia vs. United States (TSN/TSN4/TSN5) 6:30pm: Canada vs. Germany

ROYAL VARIETY PERFORMANCE 2022 (CBC) 4:00pm: Global acts and stars of the West End are brought together for one night only.

NHL HOCKEY (SN) 7:00pm: Habs vs. Lightning (SNWest) 10:00pm: Flames vs. Kraken (SN360) 10:00pm: Knights vs. Ducks

NBA BASKETBALL (SN Now) 7:00pm: Bucks vs. Cavaliers (SN1) 7:30pm: Lakers vs. Heat (SN Now) 8:00pm: Bucks vs. Bulls (SN1) 10:00pm: Nuggets vs. Kings

THE OTHER SIDE (APTN) 7:30pm: In Alameda, Saskatchewan, there is a small house that was once the only hospital for miles; an investigation of the house leads Jeff into a risky confrontation with a spirit; the team feels reaffirmed about their work.

BEST IN MINIATURE (CBC) 8:00pm/9:00pm: The remaining miniaturists create tiny cakes for the mini challenge; they must create unforgettable dining rooms that will impress the judges.  In Episode Two, the remaining artists get personal when they make a miniature inspired by loved ones; they build little offices that make working from home bearable.

DATING THE DELANEYS (Global) 8:00pm: Three generations of Delaney women explore the highs and lows of modern-day dating, learning that love and romance can be found at any age -- and sometimes where they least expect it.

CROSSWORD MYSTERIES: RIDDLE ME DEAD (CTV2) 8:00pm:  Tess gets invited to be part of a popular game show, but when the host is unexpectedly murdered, she and Detective Logan O'Connor try to discover who was behind it all.

SPIRIT TALKER (APTN) 8:00pm:  Shawn takes the ferry to Lake Simcoe's Georgina Island to meet with Vicky Wolske and to take part in a seasonal water ceremony; the spirit of a father who died tragically comes through and a young musician receives a powerful message.

GHOST HUNTERS OF THE GRAND RIVER (APTN) 8:30pm:  The ghost hunters take on one of their biggest investigations yet at the renowned Niagara Parks Power Station, where the plant creator's widow is said to wander in search of her long-dead love.

MARRIED AT FIRST SIGHT (Lifetime Canada) 9:00pm: A look at the intense process that goes into matching five Nashville, Tenn., couples; the final 10 singles are surprised with the news that they are instantly engaged and will be marrying a complete stranger in just two weeks.

[kalinara]

Dream Show 2.0

It’s time for the second annual “Dream Show Challenge”!

The rules are a little different this year: we were given someone else’s dreamshow cast from last year and asked to make a new show.

Since it’s very possible to end up with a cast list full of names we don’t recognize, we were allowed one trade.

This is my cast:

Jeff Goldblum, Jennifer Connelly, Alan Tudyk, Mandip Gil, Lee Pace, Elliot Page, and Matt Berry.

Since at the time I started this, I had no idea who Matt Berry was, I decided to trade him out for a different white British comedian: Jack Whitehall.

So now I present to you:

The Gates of Kallipolis

Synopsis:  When Lydia Nowlan receives an invitation from her estranged uncle, she has no idea what to expect.  She had no idea that she had an uncle.  And she certainly had no idea that he had invented a working time machine.  

But Dr. Nowlan called her for a reason.  Time is behaving strangely, and there are people scattered through time who need their help to get home.

Characters:

Lydia Nowlan - Jennifer Connelly (2021 CE): For as long as she remembers, Lydia Nowlan never had much in the way of a life.  She worked, she slept, and she worked again  She had no time for things like friends or family, even pets.  But now her work is completed and she has no idea what to do next.  Fortunately, a mysterious letter from a long lost uncle comes at just the right time.

Dr. Mark Nowlan - Jeff Goldblum (2021 CE):  Lydia’s estranged uncle.  An experienced time traveler with a temperament that makes Lydia look like a people person, Dr. Nowlan is in over his head.  But fortunately, he’s not in this alone anymore.

Bibi Khunza - Mandip Gil (c. 1550 CE):  Widow of a king, mother to another, Bibi Khunza knows how to fight and how to rule.  But as to how this sixteenth century Indian warrior princess ended up at the center of a witchhunt in seventeenth century rural England is a really interesting question.  Especially since she’s not the only one lost.

Augustus Cole - Elliot Page (1875 CE):  The life of a chimney sweep in Victorian London is a hard one, but Augustus Cole knows exactly how to translate those skills to something a bit more lucrative: cat burglary.  And never let it be said that the man will miss an opportunity: a futuristic sailing ship is the perfect place for a bit of breaking and entering.  But what’s that about an iceberg?

Xavion Knox - Lee Pace (2320 CE):  Grown in a lab, built for war, Xavion Knox has known very little except violence.  He hasn’t cared much about anything since the death of his partner, but perhaps that will change now that the man’s stuck in the distant past, reliant on a couple of barely competent time travelers to get home.  Wherever that is.

Zeta-5 - Jack Whitehall (2440 CE): An Alien.  Zeta knows his science.  He knows his technology.  He knows the intellectual capability of humanity, and he damn well knows that time travel is impossible.  But try telling that to Mark and Lydia Nowlan.  (He has.  Many times.)

Grok - Alan Tudyk (c. 190,000 BCE):  The manservant of Dr. Nowlan, and human being who predates any recognizable culture or society.  He may even predate the development of spoken language, or at least any language that the translator can recognize.  Because of his communication difficulties, he has yet to provide Dr. Nowlan with sufficient information to get him home.  He seems happy enough where he is, and well, good help is hard to find.

--

Important Concepts for the Show:

The Reese-Hartnell Effect:  It is impossible for a living being to be in two places at once.  Because of this, it is very important that a time traveler never “cross their time stream”, meaning they should never visit a time when they themselves are alive.  If at any point, a time traveler ends up in the same time period as their past or future self, they will merge together.  

In the best case scenario, the knowledge and memories of the future self will remain with the past self, allowing the time traveler to make any desired changes to his own future.

In the worst case scenario, the time traveler’s mind is completely obliterated.

The Ultimate Translator: Lydia Nowlan’s life work.  The great translator is somehow able to take spoken language from any point in time and enable it to be understood by any time traveler in the vicinity.  Because of his origins, Grok is unable to use the translator.  Instead, he communicates through gestures, pictures, expressions, and occasional broken English.

Origin Time: In order to return a lost time traveler, the machine must be calibrated with the exact time and place that the traveler disappeared from, down to the nanosecond.  Too soon, and the time traveler risks the Reese-Hartnell effect destroying their mind.  Too late, and the resulting gap of “non-existence” could create catastrophic effects down the timestream.  

The Time Machine: Dr. Nowlan’s invention.  The Time Machine is not a ship, but rather a stationary set of silver gates that open into a pre-set location.  The gates can be concealed but not closed while the machine is in use.

--

Episodes:

Episode 1 -  Witchhunt (1645 CE)

Lydia Nowlan, linguist and engineer, has just finished her life’s work.  She unwinds by answering an invitation from her estranged uncle.  When she arrives, she finds a surprisingly high tech laboratory, a strange device and her uncle nowhere to be found.  She is startled by the sudden appearance of Grok, her uncle’s assistant, and accidently activates the device, which turns out to be a time machine.

Lydia finds herself in medieval England, where her strange appearance and even stranger knowledge quickly makes her the target of a witchhunt.  But she isn’t the only time traveler at risk.  She meets fellow prisoner, Bibi Khunza, and the unlikely allies work together to escape.  Lydia’s uncle, Dr. Nowlan, comes to find her, bringing with him a time-lost space marine and a lot of questions.

The foursome, assisted by Lydia’s invention, agree to work together and find out what’s causing all these time disturbances and try to find a way to return everyone home.

Episode 2 - the Titanic (1911 CE)

Lydia’s invention continues to facilitate communication between our heroes, with the exception of the caveman, Grok.  They investigate another anomaly, this time aboard the HMS Titanic, where they meet the Victorian, Augustus Cole.  Khunza encounters some racism, which does not end well for the racists, while Lydia repeatedly attempts to warn about impending doom, and learns the regrettable lesson that some things can’t be changed.  She is introduced to the concept of the “Reese-Hartnell Effect” which prevents any time traveler from being able to make multiple attempts to influence the timestream.

As the now fivesome return back to Dr. Nowlan’s lab, they meet Zeta-5, an alien from the far future, who is very armed, and very insistent that he be returned home.

Episode 3 - Ancient Greece (399 BCE)

A comedy of errors involving Zeta-5’s weapon (actually a zoological inseminator) and the time machine sends most of the crew to ancient Greece.  Dr. Nowlan has an interesting conversation with Socrates, while Xavion gets to punch Plato in the face.  Khunza and Augustus find unlikely common ground as they solve a Philosophical Conspiracy.

Meanwhile, back home, Lydia, Zeta-5 and Grok have to find a way to repair the time machine and get the others back.

Episode 4 - Utopian Dreams (3505 CE)

The concept of utopia comes up again, when Dr. Nowlan takes the crew to the futuristic city of Kallipolis.  The peaceful surroundings inspire introspection: Khunza revealing her desperation to reunite with her young child, while Augustus and Xavion admit that they don’t have much of a home to return to.  Lydia has a cryptic encounter.

Nowlan’s plans to access the Kallipolitan Hall of Records is thwarted when a sudden insurrection scatters the crew to the four winds.

Episode 5 - Dystopian Nightmares (3505 CE)

Loyalist factions capture Lydia and Xavion.  Augustus gets to plan the heist of any number of centuries to get them out, while Zeta-5 discovers his inner revolutionary.

Lydia’s interrogation has some particular after effects that lead to some shocking revelations: namely, both she and her “uncle” were members of the Kallipolitan Time Agency, but her mind had been destroyed by the Reese-Hartnell Effect.  Dr. Nowlan had set everything up in an attempt to restore her to herself.

Episode 6 - Finale (???)

Dr. Nowlan has fled into the timestream having accomplished his goal but at the cost of his career and reputation, and possibly his life, should the Time Agents track him down.  Lydia and the others race to find him first, engaging in a merry game of chase and sabotage against their rival pursuers.

Dr. Nowlan does ultimately surrender himself into Lydia’s custody, but reveals that his notes have been destroyed in the chaos, meaning that now he genuinely can’t return anyone home.  Lydia must reconstruct his work, which she does, with some unexpected assistance: the caveman Grok.  He had observed most of Dr. Nowlan’s work and actually comprehends a lot more than anyone realizes.  The crew are finally sent home...for the most part.

Bibi Khunza returns to her kingdom and her son, and is able to resume her Regency without much incident.

Augustus Cole does not return home to Victorian England.  Instead, seeking a new challenge, he appears in Khunza’s court and is welcomed as a new “foreign advisor.”

There was a “miscalculation” and Xavion Knox is not returned to his own time, but rather six months earlier, to the incident of his partner’s death.  Due to the Reese-Hartnell Effect, Xavion has an opportunity to save the man that he loves and he doesn’t intend to waste it.  And this time, he won’t be alone.

Zeta-5, citing his race’s long lifespan, decides to go to Xavion’s time instead of his own.  He realizes that there is a very good chance that the Reese-Hartnell Effect will come into effect in about fifty years, but it might be interesting to live his life again from infancy onward.

Dr. Nowlan is serving out his sentence at the Kallipolitan Time Agency.  He’s treated well and receives many visitors.  He is, by all accounts, quite content.

Lydia Nowlan has received tacit approval to continue her linguistic studies across the timestream.  She is accompanied in this effort by her new partner, Grok.

--

Bonus:

As this is a Rip Chat challenge, of course I have slipped Arthur Darvill in here somewhere.  He has been cast as Dr. Pierce Draxton, head of the Kallipolitan Time Agency.  Because the man’s played a rebel.  Now I’d like to see him actually in charge.

[curiosi-tea-writes]

Outcasts (One Survivor pt. 1)

Pairing: Din Djarin x Cobb Vanth

Setting: Survivor AU / Modern AU

Summary: Grogu begged his father to spend 39 days stranded on an island with 15 strangers, and who was Din to deny his son such a simple request? What he didn’t anticipate was meeting Cobb Vanth while on the island and developing the largest crush he had ever had on a person. But in the game of Survivor, you can anticipate nothing.

Disclaimer!!! : While you don’t need to have seen Survivor in order to understand this fic, it is based off of 07x07-08 of Survivor. (Also a bit from an episode from Season 6, though I cannot recall the episode.) So if you have not seen those seasons, read at your own risk. 

--------------------------------------------------

When Din had signed up for 39 days stranded on an island with 15 complete strangers, he was mostly doing it as a joke. His son was fascinated by the show, insisted that they watch it every week. Din thought he just liked the drama of it. It was Peli who brought up one day that Din should go on it. 

“Papa, pleeeeease,” Grogu had begged. And Din would do anything to please his son. So, he agreed to give it a shot. 

It was honestly fun, he had to admit. Seeing Jeff Probst in person was honestly one of the coolest moments of his life. And then he saw him.

Silver hair, just a little bit taller than him, gorgeous eyes. But the thing that caught Din’s attention most was his red scarf. Never mind that it was 110* on the island, but man could this guy pull off that scarf. 

Din felt it was destiny when he watched the man slide a red buff around his wrist, matching his scarf almost perfectly. However, his heart broke as he pulled a blue one over his head and settled it around his neck.

It slowly started to become an issue. Din would slack in challenges because the guy, Cobb he had learned after a day or two - though most of his tribe called him Cowboy, would show up shirtless. It was distracting to say the least. All of his tribemates were getting increasingly frustrated with him but Din couldn’t care less. His tribe was winning most of the challenges, so what was the big deal if he was like a deer caught in the headlights every time he had to go up against Cobb?

Sometimes Jeff would even call them out. During one challenge where they had to play a matching game, Din kept going to Cobb to ask him for items and Cobb kept going to Din.

“Din,” Cobb called with a smirk and he chuckled as his tribe groaned for the fourth time at him. When he got a hum in response, his smirk turned into a charming smile. “Do you maybe - possibly - have a seashell?”

Jeff laughed and shifted, crossing his arms. “Cobb, why don’t you just ask him what you really want to ask him?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jeff,” Cobb tried hard not to laugh, “Din?”

“Can you see into my box, Cowboy? How do you keep doing this?” Din laughed and walked the shell over to Cobb. He tried not to notice how Cobb’s calloused hand lingered on Din’s for a second longer than necessary - the way their hands had been lingering on each other’s the entire challenge.

------------------------------------------

After what felt like far too short a time, Din’s heart shattered. 

“Noyapara, getting a look at the new Marseydotes tribe,” Jeff said as the other tribe came onto the beach. 

“Oh my god,” Fennec sighed and Din whipped around, his eyes wide.

“Cobb voted off at the last tribal council,” Jeff finished as Din tried not to show too much emotion for a guy he hardly really knew.

Fennec, the only member of Din’s tribe he had told about his little crush - really, she confronted him and he had no choice - took a step closer to him as Jeff continued speaking. “So close to the merge too,” she mumbled. 

That’s what Fennec kept telling him. “Just wait until the merge and you’ll be able to get to know him!” and “There’s no way they won’t keep him until the merge at least!” Din sighed sadly. The merge was any day now. They were so close and his tribe just had to vote him off.

“Alright,” Jeff spoke clearly, bringing Din out of his thoughts. “By now, you have collectively voted off six members from this game. And now, that’s gonna come back to haunt you.” The final ten players turned around and looked at each other. “Come on in, guys!” 

The six players who had been previously voted off came out on to the beach and Din and Fennec shared a bright smile as Cobb jogged out as the last person. It was impossible not to catch the wink Cobb gave him as he made his way past Din.

“Here’s how it’s gonna work,” Jeff started as Cobb took his spot on the third mat. “There are now three tribes - Marseydotes, Noyapara, and the Outcasts - the six people you have voted out over the last couple of weeks now have a chance to rejoin the game. Today’s challenge is for immunity. Whichever team loses to the Outcast tribe has to go to tribal council. That means, if both tribes lose, two tribal councils. Then, the Outcasts will have their own tribal council to vote in members to fill the slot of the people you just voted off.”

Din looked over to see Cobb and some of the other Outcasts smiling at each other proudly and Din couldn’t help the smile of his own. At this point, he was hardly listening to Jeff.

“Additionally, anybody voted back in from the Outcast tribe will be immune for the first tribal council following their return to provide them time to reintegrate back into the game.”

After explaining what they had to do for the challenge, all the Survivors took their places. Din watched, tied to the wooden gate, as one member from each tribe rushed to begin untying their teammates. Of course, Cobb was one of them. Fennec was flying through the knots for her and Din’s tribe but Din could see that Cobb was far ahead. He wasn’t surprised at all. 

Once he was untied, Fennec yelled at him to start helping with finding the key but he hardly heard her. “Djarin!” she scolded harshly, forcing Din’s attention to her. “Stop staring and help us!”

It wasn’t much use at that point. Cobb’s team had already gotten the key and was unlocking the gate. “Outcasts win immunity!” Jeff yelled and there was cheering from the tribe. He opened the other tribes’ gates and addressed them, “Two tribal councils. Two people will be voted out tonight, and two members will rejoin your tribes. You have the rest of the day to decide who’s going home. Head back to camp.”

----------------------------------------------

Din breathed a sigh of relief as Jeff read the final vote and it was neither him nor Fennec. Both knew that pairs can go far in this game if they play their cards right and Din and Fennec were determined to add their names to the list of pairs that prove that statement. Fennec bumped his shoulder as they carried their torches back to camp. 

“Hey,” she whispered, “maybe Cobb will get voted back in and end up on our tribe.”

Din chuckled and shook his head, shifting to rest his torch against his shoulder as he walked. “Don’t you dare get my hopes up.”

-------------------------------------------

Cobb took his seat next to the other Outcasts. At first, he couldn’t believe he had been voted off and he was furious. He was easily one of the strongest guys out there, definitely the strongest in his tribe. But he knew his tribe was preparing for the merge. Boba had teased him endlessly at camp about his crush on the other tribe. Cobb and Din had hardly spoken, just quick comments to each other during challenges, but he knew there was a connection there- physical if nothing else. It was understandable that his tribe assumed in the case of a merge, he might flip his alliance to be with Din. Cobb knew that wasn’t the case, but his tribe didn’t. And now, after almost his whole tribe voted him off, that was definitely going to happen if he had the chance. Sweet revenge.

“Here’s how this is going to work,” Jeff started once everyone was settled. “You’ll all have the chance to plead your case as to why you should be voted back into the game. Then you’ll vote. Two names, on two different parchments. Two people with the highest number of votes get put back into the game.” Once everyone nodded their understanding Jeff smiled and gave his own nod. “Cobb, let’s start with you.”

Cobb sighed happily and turned to address his tribe of fellow outcasts. “All I can really say is that I know I kick their asses. If you want an Outcast to win the game, I think I’m your best shot. Once the merge hits, I know exactly who I’m going to align with. I beat any of them at any physical challenge and I’m quicker in puzzles than half of them. I think I have one of the best chances out of us to make it to the end of this game if I get back in.” 

Everyone nodded and Cobb’s head began to spin. All he could think was, “did they all just agree with me?”

He listened to the other Outcasts plead their cases and then it was time to vote. Cobb casted his votes and dropped them in the urn. His heart was beating impossibly fast as Jeff said the words that are typically so dreaded and now held so much hope, “I’ll go tally the votes.”

Cobb shared a look of hopeful anxiety with his fellow Outcasts as Jeff came back with the urn tucked under his arm. Jeff cleared his throat and smiled and all the Outcasts couldn’t help but chuckle nervously. “Once the votes are read, the decision is final. The two people with the highest number of votes will return to the game.” Cobb attempted not to cringe at the change from the usual dialogue. “I’ll read the votes.”

Cobb held his breath as he name came up first. Then again. The somebody else’s. Then his again. Then again. “Sixth vote- Cobb. That’s five, our first Outcast revived in the game.” Cobb felt someone pat his shoulder and another tell him congratulations but he could hardly process it. *He was back in the game!*

“Alright,” Jeff continued once the second person, Bo Katan, was chosen and everyone had congratulated her as well. “Bo Katan, Cobb, the tribe has spoken. Come on up here, and relight your torches.”

Bo Katan and Cobb shared an eager smile as they steadily dipped their torches into the fire at the center of the counsel area. Cobb felt a wave of pride as he looked back at the other Outcasts, seeing their excited faces. They had all agreed in their time together that whoever was going back into the game, everyone was going to be proud of them. Sure, everyone wished it was them going in, but the fact that any of them had the chance was more than enough for them all. 

“Now time to choose what tribe you’ll be going to.” Jeff held out a bag to the two of them. “Who’s going first?” Cobb nodded at Bo Katan with a smile and she nodded back before turning back to Jeff with a smile, stating she would. “Alright. Since you were from opposite tribes to begin with, if Bo Katan pulls a red buff, you’ll be returning to the opposite tribes. If she pulls a blue one, you’ll be returning to the tribes that voted you out.” 

He held the bag out to Bo Katan and Cobb held his breath, attempting to will the universe to have her pull a red buff. 

---------------------------------------------------------------

Din and Fennec had stayed up to wait and see who would come to their island. It was getting later and later and eventually, Fennec laid her head on his shoulder. 

“When Cobb shows up, don’t throw me off too quickly rushing to him,” she mumbled.

“Why do you keep saying ‘when?’” He questioned back, still fully awake. “What makes you so sure he got voted back in?” 

Fennec hummed and smiled. “Because, you two are destined.”

Din rolled his eyes. “You’re ridiculous.” He squinted his eyes a little to see out towards the ocean. He could just barely make out the outline of a boat. “Fennec,” he shifted his shoulder so she’d sit up, “they’re here.”

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Cobb leaned against a pole on the boat, taking in the feeling of the ocean mist on his face. He ran a hand through his hair before dropping it back into his lap. He let out a small chuckle as he rubbed the fabric of the buff on his wrist between his fingers. It had been such a long and taxing day. He could only hope that he would be able to get some rest once he made it back to camp.

He thanked the man driving the small boat as he hopped over the edge. He sighed as he took in the island before him, slowly making his way through the water towards the beach. He saw a familiar figure walking down the beach to meet him and he smiled brightly and honestly.

“I knew you’d get back in, Cowboy!” he heard them call to him with a laugh. 

He walked a little quicker to get up the beach before pulling the other man into a tight hug before pulling back and getting a good look at the other man. “Hey, Boba,” he sighed.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Din’s tribe walked out onto the beach first. Din’s heart raced as he willed himself to turn around to see the other tribe come in. 

“Marseydotes and Noyapara, getting a look at each other’s new tribes,” Jeff said as the other tribe entered. “Bo Katan voted into Noyapara and Cobb voted into Marseydotes at the last tribal council.”

Din could hardly contain his smile. Now if both of them could just stick around until the merge.

There was mumbling among the tribes, each talking about who was voted back in for the other tribe. Jeff cleared his throat, drawing the attention back to himself.

“As you have all figured out by now, this game is always changing.” Everyone chuckled and nodded. “It’s about to change again. Everyone drop your buffs,” he tossed a bag to Din who caught it easily, “and put on your new ones- you are merged.” 

Some members cheered, some gasped, but everyone had the largest smiles on their faces. Din reached into the bag and began pulling out the fresh purple buffs and handed them to the members of the new tribe. He tried not to care when Cobb took the buff from him the same way he had taken the sea shell just days prior. He also tried not to care that his face was burning, though he attempted to convince himself it was the heat of the sun. His heart jumped as Cobb started to say something but their attention was quickly drawn away from each other and back to Jeff.

Once the matter of which camp was better was sorted, the now merged tribe was sent off for a merge feast and getting to know one another. 

---------------------------------------------

When the food was done and everyone was broken off into small groups, Din excused himself from Bo Katan and Fennec to search for firewood. He wasn’t far into the jungle when he heard someone clear their throat behind him. With a jump he turned quickly to see Cobb just a few feet behind him.

“Sorry,” he laughed holding up his hands, “I didn’t want to startle you.”

Din sighed with a smile. “Good to see you back in the game.” He turned his back to Cobb as he picked up a dry branch. 

“Yeah, you’re telling me,” Cobb spoke softly, taking a few steps closer to Din. “I had been hoping the whole game to make it to the merge.”

“I think that’s everyone’s goal at the least,” Din tried desperately to sound casual, despite that he could feel Cobb’s eyes on him as he moved to pick up another branch.

Cobb chuckled and finally took the final steps up to Din to pick up a branch of his own, causing them to stand up straight at the same time, their faces just inches apart as they looked at each other. Cobb couldn’t help his smile as he watched Din’s eyes flicker down to his lips before coming back up to meet his gaze. 

“I don’t think everyone had the same reasons for wanting to merge as I did,” Cobb whispered, attempting to keep the atmosphere they had created.

Din stuttered for a moment, shifting the branches in his arms nervously. “And- uhm-” he cleared his throat, “what reason would that be?”

“You.”

There was a beat of silence as they stood inches apart. Din’s eyes continued to flicker up and down and Cobb would be lying if he said his weren’t as well. Din’s heart was beating impossibly loud, he was surprised he could hear anything over it, let alone hear Cobb’s breathing. Din took half a step closer and Cobb followed suit. They were impossibly close, both smiling brightly, having waited for this moment since the beginning of the game when-

“Hey, lover-boys! Hurry up with the wood, we need to boil water!” Boba called from around the bend of the path. Before shaking his head and walking away again.

Din and Cobb didn’t pull apart, just started laughing. They could feel each other’s breath and they took a moment to calm down.

“I suppose we should go back,” Din whispered.

“Yes, I suppose we should,” Cobb mumbled back, still allowing his eyes to flicker down and back up.

But neither moved. 

Before either of them knew it, Din quickly leaned in and placed a small kiss on Cobb’s lips. It was soft and sweet and Cobb thought he was in Heaven, he almost dropped the branches in his arms. It was over before it really began and Din was walking away with a smile. Cobb held back a frustrated groan because he didn’t get the chance to really kiss back. “Come on, Cowboy. They need to boil water,” Din called over his shoulder.

Cobb stood awestruck for a moment, watching Din walk away. He could still feel Din’s presence on his lips and all he could do was stare and smile.

“You coming?” Din called from up the path with a laugh. 

Cobb shook his head clear and grabbed another branch to add to his pile. He cleared his throat as he stood straight again and jogged to catch up to Din. 

They were only a couple of steps down the path when Din bumped Cobb’s shoulder with his own. “We should get fire wood together more often,” he spoke with a chuckle which soon turned into a laugh as he saw a light dusting of red spread across Cobb’s cheeks.

Cobb gave his own small laugh. “Maybe next time Boba won’t interrupt us so soon.”

“Let’s hope not,” Din replied as they entered camp and the conversation was quickly dropped.

The next time Fennec made a passing comment about needing more wood, Din tried not to laugh at how quickly Cobb volunteered. Meanwhile, Cobb tried to ignore Boba’s laugh at how quickly Din offered to join him. Both sent Boba a glare that screamed ‘don’t bother us this time,’ and thankfully he got the message.

[tricksters-captain]

FP Jones/Andrew’s Family/Riverdale imagines - Oh Dear Part 35 - Final Chapter - A Sore Goodbye

A/N: This is based on the memorial episode for Luke Perry. Watching and writing this was very hard and I miss him as do many fans and everyone who ever knew him. My characters pain here is almost real as it pained me to write about Fred’s death knowing that we didn’t just lose Fred Andrews, we lost Luke Perry. I hope you enjoy this final chapter of ‘Oh Dear’. It’s been a wild ride and I thank every single reader, liker, etc. I love you all.

MASTERLIST LINK (HERE)

Overall Summary: You’re Archie’s older sister and you have a thing for a certain Serpent.

This chapter: Based on Season 4 Episode 1 - (Y/N) has been living away from Riverdale for two years now. Only keeping touch with her family every now and then but (Y/n)’s brother, Archie, and herself never allowed any Riverdale drama to pull her back to the town which held the man she loved but couldn't have. But the sudden death of her father meant she had to finally return...

Pairing: Reader x FP Jones, Sister!Reader x Archie Andrews, Daughter!Reader x Fred Andrews, 

Word count: 8,864

Warnings: Very emotional. Loss of a father. Some strong language. Some smut. 

“(Y/N).” His voice was like velvet as his arms snaked around you. 

You slowly moved in his arms to face him. Your smile widened as you met his eyes. 

“You’ve been gone ages–” Fp’s mouth cut your words short as he kissed you deeply and with a hunger you could feel in the pit of your own stomach. 

Your fingers tangled themselves in the older man’s hair within seconds, your hips pressing against his as he held you tightly. 

You dragged the man backwards to the bed behind you and allowed yourselves to fall down onto it. FP’s hands rushed to rip the clothes from you. 

You let your eyes roll backwards at the feeling of his hot tongue against your neck. 

His hands left your body for a moment which made you pout and whine in desperation. The empty feeling didn’t last long as hands placed themselves back against your soft skin; but the feeling was different... Not completely foreign but not him. 

Your eyes fluttered open to see Malachai’s face. The air flooded your lungs in a sharp gasp but before you could make another sound, Malachai’s hand trapped your lips beneath it. 

You screamed into his hand and tried to fight underneath him but his body felt like a deadweight. 

You watched him with wide eyes as he moved closer to your face; his lips and eyes blood red. 

You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling his fevered breath against your cheeks, trying your best to mentally escape this. 

You finally felt the weight lift from you when you snapped your eyes open and thrashed forward, sending your bedsheets across the floor. 

Sweat drenched you.

It took you a minute to realise you were alone in your apartment, not in Riverdale. 

You shifted your legs off the side of the bed and rested your elbows against your knees with your head low whilst you tried to slow your breathing. 

It'd been months since you dreamt of Riverdale; of FP; of Malachai and that night. 

You lifted your mobile from the bedside table and a glaring 4:43am flashed back at you. 

It was July so the sun was already rising outside. 

You pushed back your curtains and opened your window to let some air into the stifling room. 

It wasn’t likely you’d be able to sleep against after a dream like that so you just headed to the shower and put some coffee on for yourself. 

You kicked some of the dirty clothes from the night before towards your clothes hamper as you entered the bathroom to cool off and clean the nightmare from your body. 

Your apartment was small and you hadn’t been there very long but it was perfect for you. No one had been inside it but you since you moved in so you felt like you truly had a place just for yourself. 

You let the water cascade down your body and through the tangle that is your hair. 

You thought after all this time why would the dreams be coming back?

The dreams plagued you for weeks when you first left Riverdale but after your first short relationship with some barista that you met in your first town, they’d completely disappeared. They’d only ever come back if you had been heavily drinking but you hadn’t gone out drinking for weeks so why would it happen now?

You managed to waste some time in the shower, clearing your head before you slipped into some clothes and went to get your coffee. 

You checked your phone again to see that only 40 minutes had passed so you decided to go through your unopened messages. 

Archie had texted you last night asking how you were but you must've been asleep when he did. 

You had to admit you missed your little brother, you had always been there for each other even when you disagreed with each other. It was hard for you to stay away from Riverdale when he was arrested so soon after you left but Archie had convinced you to stay away. He always convinced you any problem in Riverdale was smaller than it was in order to stop you from leaving your current life to return to one you didn’t really want. 

You contemplated calling him but you knew that he'd be asleep. That boy always tended to sleeping if he wasn’t with Veronica or facing whatever problem Riverdale currently had. 

You put down your phone and walked over to your small portable radio to switch it on. Your footsteps pattered around the apartment whilst the quiet music began to fill the space. 

You had work today but it wasn't until 8, it was a small bookshop a few blocks down so there was no need for your bike. Still you eyed your helmet and keys and wondered where to go. 

You downed your coffee as the idea came to mind then grabbed your keys, heading down to the apartment blocks private garage. 

The wind challenged you as you rode towards the smell of the ocean. You inhaled deeply as you pulled up to the sand, slowing down to eventually switch off your engine. 

You had travelled all over the U.S. and some of Europe too but you always ended up somewhere near the sea. It was calming and even during these hotter months where the beaches became overcrowded and noisy, you somehow always found the most peaceful area or time to just come and sit. 

You fought the urge to go swimming over the couple of hours you sat there due to the fact you knew you'd have to head to work shortly. 

“Morning (Y/n).” The son of the owners of the book store was sat behind the counter with an open book on his lap. He was about Archie’s age and was very polite and nice enough but you knew that he held a small crush on you which made it a little difficult to converse sometimes. 

“Morning Jeffrey.” You smiled as you passed him to walk into the small staff room to place your bag inside. 

“That book for your dad arrived yesterday afternoon while you were off.” Jeffrey hopped off his stool to collect the novel for you. 

“Perfect. I wanted to write a note inside it before I sent it to him.” You explained to the boy about why you didn't just order it to your old home. It was that and the fact it was way more expensive to order the book to the house rather than the bookstore. 

“Well if you need me to run it down to the mail for you, I’m heading there at lunch?” Jeffrey offered as he leant against the counter, close to your side. 

“Thank you, Jeff, but I’ll probably write in it tonight and send it off before work tomorrow.” You passed on the offer which made the boy look a little disheartened but you brushed it off and asked what other orders came in yesterday so that you could start on calling the customers to inform them. 

A couple hours into your shift you kept feeling your phone vibrating in your pocket. You excused yourself to use the bathroom and checked it to see it had 1 missed call from your Dad, 3 from your Mom, 2 from Archie and 3 from Jughead. 

You called Jughead since his was the most recent number and he answered within two rings. 

“Jughead? What the hell is going on? I’m at work and my phone’s been exploding with missed calls from you, my mom and Archie?” You didn’t bother with a hello since the calls seemed so urgent.

“(Y/n)...” Jughead swallowed. “(Y/n), you need to come back to Riverdale. It’s your dad...” 

“My dad? What’s happened? Is he okay?” You felt your chest tighten. 

“(Y/n), he... He died.” 

The words spun around in your head like a marble in a bowl. 

“Jughead... Whatever you’re playing at...” You started, trying, hoping, that this was some stupid game or prank. 

“(Y/n), it’s true. Archie got the call from the hospital. He was in an accident. The details aren't clear at the moment but––” You hung up as Betty took Jughead’s phone and spoke the truth. 

You threw your phone across the bathroom which resulted in your screen cracking but it didn't matter. All that matter was that your dad, Fred Andrews, was dead.

The events that followed were a blur. 

Jeffrey sent his mother into the bathroom, an elderly woman with kind eyes and red hair. She found you collapsed on the floor with tears streaming down your cheeks and tried to help you as you gathered the words together to tell her what happened. 

The next thing you knew was that you were at your apartment, packing a small rucksack full of essentials with your bike keys in your hand. 

The only moment that became clear in your memory of that moment was when you pulled open your closet door to find your old Serpent jacket. 

You held the rough leather material in between your fingers as you reminisced your old life. You ran the tips of your index and middle finger over the embroidered snake but only Fp’s face flashed before your eyes. 

You pushed down the memories of the Serpents and continued to pack.

You didn’t know how long it took you to travel home. You knew you didn’t follow the speed limits but you didn’t care. You needed to be home. You needed to know if it were all true. Really true. 

You passed the old sign at the border of the town and what felt like a hundred different emotions all seemed to hit you like once. 

WELCOME TO RIVERDALE

You hadn’t stepped foot into the town in a couple years now. It felt like a whole new place now. 

That is until you hit the top of your road where your old home resided. 

You pulled up in front of the house and stared up at the front door with tears in your eyes. 

Your dad's truck wasn't here. 

“(Y/n)?” The door opened whilst you were lost in your head. Archie must've seen you from the window after hearing your bike pull up. 

“Arch?” Your eyes met his with the question you didn’t want answered. 

A tear fell from Archie’s eye. You immediately rush up the stairs and took him in your arms. 

“(Y/n)?” Your mothers voice crept up behind Archie. It was almost a disbelief in her voice.

“Hi Mom.” You wiped your nose and faced her. In that moment, all hatred and betrayal washed away and you just wanted to be a family again. 

The three of you held each other in the doorway, sharing the same pain, crying the same tears. 

When you finally parted, Archie was the one to notice his friends had gathered outside. 

“It’s good to see you, (Y/n).” Betty was the first to greet you. “It’s been too long. I’m sorry this is why you had to come home.” 

You could see the pain in Betty’s eyes, the sadness, the sympathy. 

“Me too.” You whispered, returning her hug. 

Veronica then hugged you and so did Jughead but when Reggie made some comment about how good you looked you decided to leave them be.  

You tiptoed up the stairs to your old room. It was just the same as you left it, not that you stayed in it much towards your final few months in Riverdale. 

As you sat down on your bed, you looked towards the door, half expecting to see your dad’s head poke around it to check on you. 

You heard commotion in the garden. Archie and his friends were all putting seats around in a circle and chatting. 

“When things started getting bad with my dad and drinking, my mom would call up Fred... for help.” Jughead’s voice caught your attention as you sat by the window. “And he would drive to the bar, and he would pick up my dad and he'd lay him on the couch. And he'd always stay a little while... just to talk to me... to see how I was doing in school, and... if I'd eaten dinner. He just wanted to know if I was hungry. I always was.” The group chuckled lightly at Jughead’s comment but the story just reminded you of FP. How you looked after FP when Fred could no longer do it...

You wondered what he was doing. How was he handling this? 

You mentally scolded yourself for thinking about him when you were Fred’s daughter. You should be thinking about you and the pain you feel.

You heard a knock at your door. It was your Mom. 

“I thought you’d want to know about the accident.” She sniffled as she entered. 

You nodded your head. You wanted to know if he died in pain, if it was his fault or someone else's, something else’s...

“FP spoke to the Sheriff at Cherry Creek. He knows all the details. I don’t know if I can––” Your mother broke down in tears once again and you found yourself comforting her with a short embrace. 

“FP? Why would FP know the details?” You pulled away, a little confused. 

“FP is Riverdale’s Sheriff.” She managed to string together. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. You were almost convinced this was all some crazy nightmare. 

“Okay. I’ll be back soon.” You hurried past your mom and down to your bike. 

You were at the station within minutes. 

It took every ounce of energy you had left to walk through those doors at the station. Your feet felt like rocks being dragged through the mud at Sweetwater River. 

The station was busy, people rushing around and talking to one another. 

You found yourself outside the sheriff’s office, peering through the small glass window at a man you knew you recognised despite the khaki disguise. 

He was on the phone, wrinkles frowned on his face and his eyes were glassy but focused. 

You watched him put the phone down and pinch the bridge of his nose. He slid off the corner of his desk and moved around to his chair where he finally became horizontal to you. 

His eyes finally lifted from his desk and upon seeing you, the colour seemed to drain from his face. It was as if he’d seen a ghost. 

Suddenly, your flight mode kicked in and you turned to leave. 

“(Y/n)!” FP’s voice seemed to freeze every joint in your body even though your mind was screaming at you to walk away. 

“I only came to know what happened. What happened to my dad.” You couldn't stop the tears rising to your eyes but you refused to let them fall. 

“Come... Come inside.” FP held his door open for you and you forced your feet to move in that direction. 

“It’s, uh, good, good to see you.” FP seemed almost as nervous as you felt. 

“It’s been–– Please tell me what happened.” You couldn’t do small talk right now. You were desperate. You wanted to know if it really were an accident. 

“Fred was driving home to Riverdale when he pulled over to help someone's car that was stalled on the side of the road, and, uh... Another vehicle... came upon them way too fast and... He was struck by it.” FP could barely get the words out himself. 

You buried your face into the palm of your hands as you broke down once again. He just wouldn’t ever say no to helping someone. And now he's dead because of it. 

“I’m so sorry, (Y/N).” FP placed his hand on your back and the electricity almost made you jump backwards but you managed to stay sat.

“I kept dodging his calls. I hadn’t spoken to him in three weeks. I was sending him this stupid collectable book to apologise for my distance and now, now he’s... he’s...” You couldn’t help but let the words fall from your lips. 

“Hey. Hey, now.” Fp pulled you towards him and you let yourself engulf in the man. His arms felt familiar, safe and warm. His scent flooded your nose which brought you some peace. “It’s alright.” He tried to assure you but seeing you in this much pain only made his pain worse. 

You were even more beautiful than ever. His heart almost stopped when he saw your (y/e/c) eyes shining through the window. Sad but still bright. 

“Sheriff?” The door swung open which made you pull away from the man out of habit. “Sorry to interrupt but there's a call waiting for you, sir.” The young deputy recognised you as Fred’s daughter and sent an apologetic look your way. 

“I should be going. I shouldn’t be bothering the ex-Southside Serpent sheriff anyway.” You laughed a little trying to lighten the mood but nothing could lighten the darkness inside your chest. 

You returned home and found yourself in your fathers closet. 

You pulled out one of his favourite shirts and pressed it against your face. You hadn’t even gotten the chance to hug him since you last left Riverdale. 

You pulled it on and retired for the evening to your bedroom. 

Dreaming of you as a little girl in Pickins park with Betty as you took turns on the father/daughter potato sack race with your dad. 

You woke in the morning to your mothers stern voice downstairs. She was clearly on the phone with someone who’d upset her. 

You pulled yourself from bed and trudged down the stairs. You held on to the banister as you swung around to see your mom at the end of the hall in the kitchen on the house phone. 

Your mother hung up before turning to face you. The irritation she once felt from the call had disappeared when she saw you stood at the bottom of the staircase with your father’s shirt on. You look almost as innocent and sweet as when you were a child, a picture image of you 8 years old in your dad's shirt to go play ball in the garden with your father and Archie came into her mind. 

But today you were different to that little girl; dark circles clung to your eyes and  your skin seemed to dull in colour. You weren’t a little girl anymore, you were a woman, but it seemed that both of you were desperately wishing times were different in this moment. 

“Who was that?” You asked, you didn’t realise how hoarse your voice was until you spoke, it must've been from the crying during the night. 

“Your brother. He went all the way up to Cherry Creek to fetch your fathers body.” Your Mom sounded almost as shocked as you felt by the news. 

With that, you darted back upstairs and grabbed your cell. 

“Archie?” You were fuming as Archie answered your call. 

“(Y/n)?” Archie responded. 

“Why did you go to Cherry Creek? Why didn’t you say anything? Why have I travelled all the way back to Riverdale just to be alone?” The questions seem to leave your mouth like a flood. “He’s my dad too, Archie. You didn’t think I’d come with you to bring him home? I waited so long to see him and now it’s too late.” 

“(Y/n), I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d want––”

“––want to travel hours away to bring dad home? Want to see him as soon as possible?” Your voice broke as tears flowed from your eyes. 

“I’m sorry, okay?! I had this nightmare and I left as soon as I woke up. I just couldn’t leave him here. I didn’t want you or Mom questioning or dictating to me about this journey. I’m sorry, (Y/n).” Archie sounded emotional himself. You wondered if he had seen your dad yet. 

“What if I get on my bike and come up now? I’ll leave within minutes.” You suggested. 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, (Y/n). It’ll take you a few hours to get here and by the time you arrive, we’ll be allowed to take dad and leave. You might as well stay there and make sure Mom’s alright. We’ll be back as soon as possible.” Archie discouraged your idea and as much as you hated it you knew it was best if you stayed and waited with your mother. 

You heard the doorbell go off downstairs by the time you hung up the phone and got dressed for the day. You knew you had slept in your dad’s shirt but his scent clung to it so strongly you didn’t want to take it off. 

The sound of high heels downstairs gave you an idea of who might have arrived so you weren’t surprised to see Cheryl and Toni in the hallway, embracing your mother. 

“(Y/n)! Oh my god! Wait ‘till the Serpents hear your back!” Toni almost ran towards you when she saw you. You hugged the girl back and smiled at how grown and beautiful she’d gotten since you left. 

“I’m terribly sorry for your loss, (Y/n), but I must admit seeing your face has made it a happier time for Riverdale.” Cheryl hugged you once Toni finally let you and all you could do was force a smile onto your face as you tucked your hands into your back pockets. 

“The girls say they’ve come to ask us something.” Your mother chimed in. 

“Actually I’m going to head out and look around town. It feels too heavy in this house without dad.” You admit, sending an apologetic look towards Toni. 

“It’s alright. Maybe you can stop by Pop’s later and we can get some food and catch up?” Toni asked,

You just nodded before taking hold of the front door handle and escaping. 

Just as you looked up from the concrete floor, leaning against the house door whilst letting out a deep breath of relief, there stood at the bottom of the steps on the sidewalk was FP.

You watched him remove his hat before stepping towards you. 

“Are you alright?” He asked, his face full of concern. 

“Just feeling a little claustrophobic.” You admitted you felt a little closed in with the visitors this morning. 

“I see you kept your bike.” FP gestured to your motorbike on the side of the road. 

“She took me all around the country. Broke my heart to leave her here for a while when I travelled Europe. I plan to take her to Italy in the future. I rode a bike there but it just wasn’t the same.” You found yourself talking about his gift to you with ease. It was the first conversation you had that wasn’t about your father. 

“Wow, Europe? That’s further than most people from Riverdale get.” FP saw how you gushed over your bike and it made his heart squeeze knowing he was the one who got it for you. 

He still couldn't believe you were stood in front of him. When you rode off and out of Riverdale he figured he wouldn’t be seeing you for a long time. Perhaps ever again. 

You had grown in more ways than one. He could see the travel helped you find yourself or at least figure out yourself a bit better than Riverdale could ever do. 

Even though you looked worn from the news of your father passing, he could see that you were comfortable in your skin, any insecurity you had previously shown was gone or hidden. He admired you from afar. 

“How are you? How did you even become Sheriff? Are you seeing anyone?” You couldn’t help but let the last question be spoken aloud. 

“Uh, it’s complicated.” His response seemed to answer every question. You noticed his eyes flicker to the Coopers household. 

Alice. 

“Do you, uh, do you want to get out of here?” You pointed your thumb down the direction of the street as you looked around. 

“Um, (Y/n), I––” FP started, tugging on his belt loops with his thumbs as he too looked around but his answer only began to panic you. 

“––No, it’s fine. I shouldn’t have asked. Things have changed, I get it.” You rambled on, hugging your arms around yourself as you retreated. 

“I’d love to.” FP cut any more rambles from your mouth off. 

“Your ride or mine?” You asked, nodding towards the sheriff wagon across the street. 

FP chuckled and shook his head, 

“Mine.” He made his way to the car, and opened the door for you. 

The gesture was so small yet so large. Who was this man now? Has he changed much? His smile hasn’t changed. It never has. 

He had his radio on quietly, probably so he wouldn't miss any calls on the police satellite. You tend to be busy as the sheriff of the town called Riverdale. This crazy, surreal like town. 

“How’s Red handling it?” Fp asked,

“He, um, he went up to Cherry Creek last night. Arrived this morning to collect my dad. He didn't tell me or our mom. He just went with Jughead, Betty and Veronica and left. Called Mom this morning asking her to sign some paperwork so that dad could be released to Archie.” You stared out of the window as you spoke. The town floated by as if it hadn’t been bothered by Fred’s death. 

“He what?” FP furrowed his brow as he looked over at you for a moment. “That boy...” FP started but you finished it with a light chuckle and a ‘I know’. 

FP pulled off the main streets of Riverdale and toward the river. 

“So, what happened the last time you spoke to your old man? You said you didn’t speak to him for three weeks after that.” FP was careful to poke due to the sensitive topic but for some reason, you felt calm enough with him beside you. 

“Nothing. The usual, asking questions where I'm living, if I’m eating, have I met anyone? Have I got a job? But he kept talking about me coming to visit Riverdale now I was a little closer. He kept on about how much my Mom wants to see me and how happy it’d make Archie but... But I just didn’t know how to say that I didn’t want to come back yet.” You admitted honestly. 

FP’s car wheels came to a squeaky stop as he pulled into Sweetwater River. 

“I know it’s stupid and selfish and I should have come back when he asked. I mean he only wanted me to visit and now it’s too late. Now I can’t... He can’t... He’s not here.” You felt yourself crumble throughout the sentence and FP watched with tears in his own eyes. 

“Hey.” He pulled you towards him, hugging you tightly. “It’s not your fault. You had only just got the hell out of here.” FP tried to comfort you. 

You gripped onto his shirt as you buried your face into him. 

“We all should have spent more time with him. Life likes to play these dirty games with us.” FP could feel the pain radiating from your body. 

You seemed so small and fragile in his arms. You felt like the person you used to be right at the beginning of your relationship, when all you wanted to do was look after him and make sure he was alright. Now, he just wanted to make you feel alright. 

“I remember when Fred found out that he was having a baby girl. He couldn’t have been more excited and terrified at the same time.” FP laughed softly, “Little did he know that little girl would grow up to be one of the kindest, strongest and damn-near smartest women in this town. Fred knew you were beautiful in and out, (Y/n). He believed you could do anything you wanted to.” FP explained, trying his best to bring some happiness to the memory of your father. 

You pulled away slowly to look the man in the face. He took hold of your cheeks and tried to smile but you could see the sadness in his eyes. 

“And I can’t believe that little girl grew up to change my life. She used all of her kindness and strength on a hopeless drunk who couldn’t hold down a job.” There seemed to be a hint of regret in FP’s eyes. Not regret for the relationship but perhaps regret that he had dragged you alongside him for so long.

“That man has turned out to be the sheriff today. Ex-king of the Southside serpents and sober. He helped me find a backbone and gave me something to fight for.” You argued with his negative outlook. “My dad must've been so proud to see you as big dog in Riverdale.” 

FP lowered his eyes and shook his head with a smile. 

“He wouldn’t have been proud much longer if he found out that his best friend had been in love with his only daughter.” FP’s words seemed to fall from his lips in slow motions as you processed what he had said. 

You had no control over your body when you found your mouth meeting his, lifting his head back up. 

FP didn’t expect the gesture but welcomed it as one hand found the back of your neck and the other squeezed your waist. 

Your tongues danced together like two lost lovers had finally found each other again. 

You tried to lean forward to press your chest against his but the position of the car seats wouldn’t allow it. 

It was the police radio that interrupted you both, a deputy calling for ‘Sheriff Jones’ to return as there was new information on the Fred Andrews case. 

You fell apart as quickly as you came together. 

You shot your eyes down to your feet as you tried to catch your breath. 

Fp stayed silent as he panted beside you. 

The car came alive as he cleared his throat, pulling out of the famous riverside and back onto the main road. 

You both remained silent until you pulled into the station. 

Your skin felt like it was on fire from the passionate kiss but the news about the case overtook your thoughts.

You both rushed into the station and to the sheriff’s office where FP picked up the phone, dialling the Cherry Creek police. 

You sat in the rigid uncomfortable chair opposite FP’s desk and bit down on your thumb nail as you waited anxiously. 

You sat up in anticipation as FP hung up the phone. 

“So?” You asked, your voice was soft, almost a whisper. 

“The guy that hit Fred. He turned himself in this morning.” FP informed you, dialling a number on his cellphone. 

“So they’ve got him? He’s off the roads?” 

“He, uh, he made bail. He’s been released. It’s just how these things go sometimes.” FP could see the anger on your face when he said that the guy was released. 

“But he killed my dad.” You felt sick knowing the man who killed your father was out walking around. 

“And he’ll get justice for it.” FP said it in a way that you immediately it was a promise than a statement. 

“I’m gonna call Red. Go ahead and inform your mother.” FP instructs you and you do as you’re told. Telling her only what you know. 

When you returned to the office from taking the call outside, you could see the worry on FP’s face. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked, 

“Your brother. I think he’s gonna try and take justice into his own hands. I’m trying to get through to Jughead now.” FP held up his phone. 

When Jughead finally answered, FP told him everything and Jughead said he’d take care of it. 

“Jug will get to him. Archie might be mad but if they get to him first then no one should get hurt.” You tried to be optimistic. You didn’t want Archie starting a fight he might not win. Who knows who this guy is! 

FP leant back in his chair and ran a hand over his face the way he usually does when he’s stressed. 

“For some reason, it doesn’t feel real.” You murmured as you folded your arms across your chest and moved yourself in front of FP. Leaning back against his desk, standing between his legs. 

“I keep thinking that I’ll go home and his truck will be there. He’ll be stood in the kitchen, buried in some paperwork with a beer bottle in his hand. He’ll moan at me for staying out so late and we’ll argue about how I’m an adult. But at the end of the night, he’ll still be leaning in bedroom doorway to say goodnight.” You didn’t realise you were crying against until the salty tears found your lips. 

“This town’s not gonna be the same without him.” FP met your eyes with his own glassy ones. 

“I didn’t tell him I loved him in three weeks.” You broke. 

Fp rose to his feet and his hands squeezed your upper arms as he tried to get you to look at him. 

“You didn’t need to say it. He already knew.” FP embraced you once again and you relaxed once more. 

“Look, while you were on the phone to your mom, I got a call from Cheryl. She has this whole parade planned for when Archie returns with Fred. A special way to honour him and I gotta be the one to stop Archie from going straight into town. We’re gonna give him a police escort and let the town say goodbye.” FP thought the idea would give you something to look forward to. Something to be apart of. 

“This town really loved him, huh?” You wiped at your nose and smiled sadly. 

“Yes, they did. Now, if you’ll have me, I’d like for you to ride in the wagon with me out front.” FP knew it was a risky move but he knew you’d appreciate it. 

You nodded your head, letting another tear slip from your eye. 

FP caught it with his thumb. 

The next thing you knew your lips were gently pressing against his. 

Fp nor you could fight these feelings. Fp knew that if Alice or Jughead’s mom found out.... His thoughts seemed to disappear when your hands caressed his arms, leading up to your neck. 

He deepened the kiss, closing the small space between you by lifting you up onto his desk. He fitted nicely between your legs and you arched your back against him as he kissed down your neck. 

You internally rejoiced when you noticed the blinds on the office door were shut. Hopefully prompting anyone who needed to enter to knock. 

You straightened back up to reclaim his lips as his hands moved up your shirt to your chest. 

“FP.” You whispered, your hands were on his belt buckle but you didn’t make any movements to loosen it yet. 

The pain of the past couple days seemed to melt away at the touch of one another. You were like each others morphine. 

FP took the hint and yanked at your jeans, pulling them down your thighs to your ankles. You clawed at his belt, hissing when he brought you forward and sank his teeth into your shoulder. 

You threw off your top and fixated your arms around the older man. 

He could feel your want on the outside of your panties. 

A moan escaped as his fingers brushed your sex as he moved your panties to one side. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve needed this. You.” FP spoke against your skin as he pressed himself inside you. 

You threw your head back for a moment before resting your forehead on the man’s shirt.

Fp lifted you slightly to get a better angle as he thrusted in and out of you. 

He felt so good that the world around you seemed to become white. 

“Fuck.” FP snarled as you rolled your hips against his. 

His name left your lips as you both picked up the pace. You could feel yourself drawing close to climax already. 

His hand buried itself in your hair and tugged as you bit down on your lip to stay quiet. Your cheek burned against his with the friction of his beard and the heat from you both.

With your bodies moulded together, the desperation of a release built. 

You bit down on his shoulder as you unravelled, throbbing around him which only brought his release closer. 

You let go of his shoulder and silently cursed at the wet teeth mark you left on his khaki shirt but you quickly forgot as he pulled his length from you and emptied his seed over your thigh. 

He rested his forehead against you as you both caught your breath. You were glad you tore off your shirt as you were coated in a thin layer of sweat. 

FP reached over to the box of tissues in the office and began cleaning up his mess.

He looked up from your thighs to catch something he had forgotten about on your shoulder. 

A very obvious ‘M’ was scarred in your beautiful skin. 

You watched him stare at you with a twisted look of pain. His thumb ran over the mark which made you flinch away slightly. 

It was just a horrid reminder of what nearly happened that night. However, you refused to cover it with a tattoo as it also reminded you that you survived it. 

You slid off the desk to tug up your jeans and scoop up your t-shirt. 

You cringed slightly as you realised what you had done. You had thrown away your dad’s shirt to fuck his life long best friend on the sheriff’s desk. 

FP must've noticed your face pale as he asked if you were okay. 

You could hear his belt being done up and you muttered a swift apology about his shirt before turning the handle on the door. 

“Hey! Wait!” FP called after you but you tried to escape the building as fast as you could. 

As soon as you were out the station doors and the warm summer air hit you, you started sprinting. 

You ran until your legs ached and when you finally stopped. 

You were at the play park. 

It wasn’t too busy considering what the day was. 

You sat down on an empty swing and took a moment to catch your breath. 

“I’m sorry, Dad.” You looked up at the sky as you spoke. You didn’t know whether you were happy he never found out about the affair or sad because all you did was lie to him for years.

The internal conflict you had only worsened the pain you felt. 

“I didn’t expect to see you here.” The voice was enough to almost make you groan audibly. 

“Don’t think anyone did.” You pressed your lips into a thin line as Alice approached you. 

“No. I mean in the park. Of course, you’d come home for your fathers funeral.” Alice looked like she had been crying but her words were stable enough. 

You didn't respond. 

“I’m sorry for your loss, (y/n). Fred Andrews was one of the best men this town ever knew.” Alice stated.

“Yeah, thanks.” You pushed yourself off the swing and started to stride away from the woman when she caught your wrist. 

“Hey, you need anything you let me know? You and Archie are as much family to me as my own.” Alice sent you a sympathetic smile and you couldn’t help but remember all the times you’d play with Polly and Betty at their house. 

“Thank you, Alice.” You softened your words before turning to leave again. 

“(Y/n)! (Y/n)!” Not long after you left the park you heard a man calling your name. 

You faced the direction of the call to see FP shutting his car door to come towards you. 

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Archie’s almost back.” FP announced. 

“We better head to the edge of town then.” You brushed past his shoulder to enter the car. 

“Hey.” FP took hold of your wrist and made you look at him. “What happened?” 

“I just... I’m wearing my dad’s shirt today. It smells like him. I threw to the side to be close with you and when I picked it up... I couldn’t help but think about how much I’ve lied to him. How many lies I told and how many secrets I kept.”

“Sometimes we have to keep things from others to keep them from getting hurt.” FP’s eyes darkened at the mention of your secret relationship. 

“There’s just so much I never said.” You sighed, closing your eyes to prevent any more tears. 

“Fred knew all of the important stuff you needed to say. We all kept a few secrets and lied to your old man, that’s the way it is in this town. We can forgive ourselves for it or we can let it turn you into a sour old drunk that can’t even feed his kids.” Fp’s eyes flashed with regret and sadness from his past mistakes. 

Your throat was locked shut so you just nodded your head. 

“Let’s go get your old man.” Fp opened the car door and you followed. 

You didn’t have to wait long on the side of the road before Archie emerged in a hearse with your dad’s truck, driven by Betty and Jughead, behind him. 

Fp pushed himself off the front of the car where you both had sat to wait, you lifted your head from his shoulder to watch him stand and raise his hand to slow Archie down. 

“Everything all right, Mr. Jones?”

“Everything's good, Red. I, uh, heard what you, and Jug, and the girls were up to, and I wanted to be a part of it. I'd like to give your dad a police escort the rest of the way home, if you're okay with that. He deserves it.”

“Yes, sir.” Archie looked past Fp to you. You smiled as much as you could manage and quickly wiped away any water escaping your eyes. 

“All right. Follow me then.” Fp leaving Archie’s side gave you the signal to climb into the wagon. 

As you drove towards town, you couldn’t help but hold FP’s hand. He held onto you tightly and gave your hand a tight squeeze here and there when he caught you getting emotional again. 

“He’d be so happy to see you home.” Fp told you. 

“I know.” You agreed. 

That's when the parade became clear ahead. 

You smiled as you cried silently to the cheers and appraisal your father was getting. 

You couldn’t help but laugh as the Serpents all cheered loudly as you passed. You blew them all a kiss as a thank you. 

You didn’t stop crying until you pulled up in front of the house. 

All the signs and familiar faces tore at your heart and made you think about how well known Fred actually was. 

He changed a lot of people’s lives and you were so thankful he was always apart of yours; as your father. 

As Archie exited the hearse, you opened your own door. 

You rushed to his side and wrapped an arm around his waist as he approached your mother. 

“I couldn't leave him there, Mom.” Archie confessed, taking both you and your mom into a tight embrace

“I know.” Your mom said as she snivelled repeatedly. 

“I brought Dad home.” Archie looked between you and your mother. You only smiled and tucked yourself under his arm. 

“You did. You sure did. I'm so proud of you. I know he would be, too.” Your mom gushed, Archie pulled her back into the group hug and you all just stayed there for a minute. 

Fp watched from a distance as you hugged your family and he knew that things would never be the same in Riverdale ever again. He once thought that when he saw you leaving but now, now he knew that he truly meant it.

“Hey, I found something in Dad’s truck.” Archie parted from the hug and dug into his pocket. 

What he pulled out was a photo of you, Archie and your dad. All together. Happy. 

You laughed weakly as you stepped towards your bike, pulling up the seat to get into the under compartment. 

You put your hand into a small bag inside and out came the exact photo but more crinkled and torn. It has travelled with you always. 

“I can’t believe he’s gone, Arch.” 

“I know. Me either.” Your brother buried you in his chest and it wasn't the first time you felt like the younger sibling between the two of you. 

The funeral didn’t take too long to put together and before you knew it, the casket was being walked towards you and your mother at the graveyard. 

You watched your mother press a kiss against the closed casket as she lay her rose on top. 

You were shaking when you found the courage to step forward yourself. 

You wrapped your arms around the casket and pressed your cheek against the cold wood, letting your tears hit it below. 

“I love you, Dad.” You were heartbroken. Here lay Fred Andrews, never to be seen again. Not outside of pictures or videos. 

Archie had to be the one to come forward and move you along as the crowd watched with agony in their hearts. 

“And now... Fred's son, Archie, would like to say a few words.” 

You watched Archie take the podium with more strength than you could even muster that day.

“‘Uh, earlier I was thinking... on the drive over here... how much of Riverdale my dad built... or just fixed up. Houses, office buildings... A bit of everything. He helped build this town. And one day if I'm lucky enough to have a son or a daughter of my own... I'll be able to point to a building or even just a brick in the building, and say, "Your grandpa made that... with his hands."” Archie paused, you smiled at the idea of a little Archie running around Riverdale.

“It's the 4th of July. I remember this one th... it was raining. The fireworks show was canceled, and, uh, I was so bummed, I remember sitting in the backyard just bawling... Until my dad came home with all these fireworks. I mean, enough to burn our house down, you remember that, (Y/n)? Mom?” 

You and your mother nodded with a smile as she took your hand. 

“And, uh... we lit them in the backyard, it was just... it was the best night. My dad was here for every high and every low. He's the greatest man I've ever known. It hurts me that I never got to say goodbye. That I won't get to see him again or talk to him. But his spirit and his memory lives on... in this town, and in everyone he's met. Fred Andrews will always be a part of Riverdale. I love you so much, Dad.” Archie finished his speech and you felt like you couldn't even move. 

You felt horrible that you couldn’t say anything but you could barely get a word out without breaking down completely. 

Once the funeral was over and you had returned to your childhood home, you went upstairs and draped one of your dad’s flannels over your shoulders and your dress.

“I miss you, Daddy.” You curled up on his side of the bed and buried your face into the sleeves of the flannel. 

Archie could see you from the hall and he considered comforting you but the sight of you so broken was too much for him to bare at that moment. 

You knew you couldn’t stay in Riverdale without Fred being there. 

You knew you couldn't even stay a week just to stay with Archie. 

You had spent so much time in the past fighting to stay in the town but now all it held was memories of your pain. 

You returned to your room after what felt like hours, you must’ve fallen asleep at some point as you felt groggy when you finally lifted yourself up to gather your things together. 

“You’re not staying for the fireworks?” Your mom appeared at your door. 

“I can’t.” You tried to keep yourself composed. “I can’t, Mom. I can’t be here without him. He was always there. Always. When you left, when I'd fight against him, when I left. He was always right here.” 

“I understand.” Your mom surprised you with her answer and even more with her hug. She kissed you on the cheek and pressed a smile onto her lips. 

“I love you so much. Please don’t be a stranger in the future.” She begged, 

You kissed her forehead as she lowered her head. 

“I promise I won’t.” 

As you moved away, you noticed she had changed and redone her makeup. 

Archie was downstairs from what you could see from the top of the stairs and he too was dressed up. 

You descended with your mothers hand in yours and your bag in the other. 

“We’re about to start...” Archie’s words trailed off when he saw you were holding your bag. 

“I’ve got to go. I’ll visit you real soon little brother.” You placed your bag down as Archie watched. 

“Already?” Archie pouted, 

“I have too. We all have our ways of coping. I can’t move past this if I stay here. I can’t stay here without him.” You were honest with your little brother. 

You awaited an explosion but Archie followed in your moms footsteps and simply hugged you. 

“Promise me this isn’t the last time I’m going to see you.” Archie whispered against my ear. 

“I promise.” You kissed his cheek and pulled away. “Tell the others it was good t see them.” You didn’t want to deal with any more goodbyes. 

“I will. You ready?” He turned back to his mom and she said she was. 

You didn’t stay to watch them head out to the garden to watch the fireworks.

You put on your helmet and mounted your bike. 

As you drove away, you smiled as you saw the fireworks in your wing mirror. 

At the end of the road you noticed FP’s sheriff car parked and FP dressed in his usual get up of jeans and a flannel. 

“Didn't think you could skip town again without a goodbye.” FP smirked as you stopped your bike. 

“How’d you know I’d leave tonight?” You rose your voice enough to be heard over the fireworks. 

“’Cause...”  He shrugged and swaggered towards you. 

“You think you can just smile at me and everything will be alright?” You removed your helmet as you spoke. 

“I wanted to tell you something. Something I should have said a long time ago.” Fp only grew closer to you. 

“I’m all ears, Sheriff Jones.” 

“I loved you, (Y/n). I always loved you. You were this unexpected gift that came into my life and kicked the crap out of the old me. You taught me what it was like to feel again. You were better than any drink I had ever had.” FP began to confess to you. “I know I didn’t deserve you and I know we can never be together in the way I wanted to but those many months of my life with you by my side. My Serpent Queen. They were some of the best days of––”

You kissed the man after hearing the words you had always wanted to hear. 

You knew he loved you that time ago but he never said. Never told you. 

“I loved you too, FP Jones.” You let your lips part from his slowly as you breathed out the words. 

“Keep on fighting. You’re stronger than you know.” FP pressed his forehead against yours as he looked into your eyes. 

Those eyes. Those hypnotic eyes. 

“Stay out of trouble. Don’t make me come back and kick your ass back into shape.” You half-kidded. 

FP sighed and kissed you once more. 

“I’m forever yours, FP Jones.” You let the man know as you backed away from him back towards your bike. 

He watched you climb back on but before you replaced your helmet he remembered something...

“Wait.” FP pulled a piece of paper from his pocket and as he got closer with a slow jog, you realised it was the polaroid. “It’s your turn to keep it.” 

You took the photo without any fight and tucked it into your jacket. 

“Look after yourself, Jones.”  You brushed your lips against his as you held his cheeks between your fingers. 

“Don’t break too many hearts, (Y/n) Andrews.” FP took a step back. 

“Can't make that promise.” You winked. The only heart that ever mattered to you was his. 

You revved your engine as you finally rode away. 

Watching the man only disappear in your mirror as the fireworks only continued. 

The End. 

AN: That’s a wrap folks. I hope you enjoyed this story and I hope this ending wasn’t too awful for you all. I want to say that I hope all of you are safe and doing well. I hope those who are rioting are staying safe and protecting themselves. This chapter is dedicated to Luke Perry may he rest in peace. Goodnight my lovely readers and thank you once again for reading. 

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[gaiapaia]

Kermit And Friends: Tony Ricca WWE

Imagine a church where the reverend is threatened to be locked into a chicken coop by his fiancé at the beginning of service and then threated to be killed Nicole Simpson style by a love interest of said fiancé towards the end of service.

Ladies and gentleman, I welcome you to Kermit and Friends!

The show started off this week with both bad news and good news. The bad news was that Jennifer Lopez’s 6th engagement broke off, but the good news is Elisa’s very 1st engagement is still going strong!

That’s right, despite all the naysayers, Elisa Jordana and Andy Dick’s engagement has survived yet another week. Elisa even has 4 new rings to show for it! But let me tell you... it almost did not survive this show, literally.

First off, Elisa is getting fed up with not being able to reach Andy whenever she wants, so she came up with this brilliant idea of building a chicken coop to keep him locked in. I mean, why not? Andy’s skinny frame combined the long neck sort of does resemble a chicken, so it seems like the perfect fit! Andy doesn’t seem to keen to the idea though so he better just get his act together and start answering every time he’s blessed with a phone call from his gorgeous fiancé Elisa.

This week’s KAF special guest was none other than former WWE Superstar, Tony Ricca. Elisa has a little history in pro wrestling, appearing on WWE Monday Night Raw and starring in a reality show that was hosted by pro wrestling star Chris Jericho. Kermit and Friends also has big wrestling fans on the show such as Socky, Corey, Johnny B, and many more in the chatroom.

Elisa started the interview off by asking Tony about why he wanted to become a pro wrestler. Tony shared it was actually his friends who wanted him to do it, and Andy revealed that’s exactly how he got into acting.

There was more wrestling talk and Tony kindly answered questions from Socky the Sock Puppet, Corey, Eric and other KAF superstars like Trumpster Bob asking Tony to partake in his “Butthole Challenge.” Andy Dick also got Tony to show off his abs so he could gush over his hairy belly. The interview went swimmingly, if you ask me.

During the interview, Andy started facetiming with his handsome friend Lucas. This caught Elisa’s eye and she immediately pounced. “THE Lucas? Aren’t you Andy’s ex, Lucas?”

Lucas denied the claim but Elisa is no fool. She can read Andy like a book and she knows when Andy is really into someone. But Elisa put the claws away and started to have a nice normal chat with Lucas about Andy. As it turns out, Lucas is also a former pro wrestler so he asked Tony a couple of questions too. Maybe we’ll see Lucas back on the show very soon and get to the bottom of him and Andy’s true feelings toward one another.

Kermit’s old friend Kleenex (screenname Christopher Dick) made his return to Kermit and Friends this week. Sitting in his car smoking cigarettes, I could sense Kleenex was in prime form ready to steal the show as the premier Dick on it. After complaining about Elisa’s lack of enthusiasm in her introduction of Kleenex to Tony and Lucas, Kleenex hounded Elisa about the content the show was producing compared to when it first started back in November. Kleenex then set his sights on Elisa’s relationship with Andy Dick, and just as Kleenex’s meter was about to hit red... All. Hell. Broke. Loose.

But not from Kleenex... from ERIC RIGGS! That’s right, Elisa’s friend Eric came flying in like a bat out of Hell and relinquished his fury on Andy Dick.

It was unbelievable. To this point, Eric has perhaps been the sweetest guy on the show. Yeah, he’s out there and his love for Elisa has probably left people baffled, but he’s been consistent in his sweet nature. To see him snap like this was surprising, to say the least.

So what set Eric off? When he talked with Tony Ricca before, he seemed perfectly fine. What I personally believe got Eric’s blood boiling was when Andy bragged to his friend Lucas that Elisa invited Andy to spend the night at her apartment Sunday night.

I did a break down of Elisa’s love history on Kermit and Friends for Valentine’s Day. You can read it here. Eric is featured in the blog. Elisa first met Eric at work, and he became very smitten with Elisa. Hey, who can blame him? He even proposed to Elisa, but Eric had to move to Seattle not long after, so their 'relationship’ became a long distance 'relationship’ following that.

Did they really date? Was Elisa really engaged to Eric?

Elisa is too sensitive towards Eric’s feelings to give a straight answer to these questions, but I know the answers and I will give them to you.

Elisa hung out with Eric many times. His desk was right behind hers at work and naturally as a group they spent many lunches and ‘happy hours’ together with other co-workers. Is that dating? Eh, I’m fine with calling it that if Eric really wants to but you can see where the line is blurred.

As far as Eric’s proposal... there’s an episode of the 90′s sitcom Full House where DJ Tanner’s baby sister Michelle (who is 5 or 6-years-old at the time) falls in love with DJ’s boyfriend, Steve. Michelle asked Steve to marry her and of course Steve said yes to play along and to not hurt Michelle’s feelings. That episode pretty much describes what happened between Elisa and Eric.

Eric proposed in a public setting and Elisa did not want to embarrass Eric by saying no, but she also never led him on by making promises, flirting, doing anything sexual, etc. She genuinely adored Eric as a friend and knew he had a puppy dog crush on her and wanted to never hurt him.

Eric’s move to Seattle was a blessing for Elisa because it meant she never had to break his heart. If you remember the Forgiveness episode of Kermit and Friends, Eric told Susan Shapiro that he was finally over Elisa and looking to move on. Of course, since then Eric has professed his love again with poems, songs, and even a damn book, but still... you just had to think he was somewhat over the idea of truly marrying Elisa.

Boy, is that NOT the case. Not the case at all. Eric full on believes he’s the next Jeff Benzos and that he will help skyrocket Elisa’s career by booking her to perform with him as a duet at Madison Square Garden. And they will do this as husband and wife, despite the mafia, Vice Lords and the people who shot down Kobe Bryant’s plane all being against the idea. In Eric’s mind, the power of he and Elisa’s love can overcome anything. Including and especially Andy Dick, who is a part of the Satanic Cult of Walt Disney, according to Eric.

Eric claims to have super powerful Jewish friends in super powerful places. One phone call from Eric and he can have Andy wacked like OJ Simpson killed his wife Nicole. Or Eric will just do it himself. This would probably be a very scary threat if it wasn’t coming from someone as harmless as Eric Riggs, so it’s just funny. Very funny.

But it’s also a bit sad. Eric obviously has some issues upstairs and has created a fantasy World for himself. Honestly, Kermit and Friends is a wonderful fantasy World as well but most of us are capable of separating our fantasy Worlds from reality. We can tell which is which. Eric doesn’t seem to be able to tell the difference and that’s very unfortunate.

Eric’s rant lasted nearly 30 minutes straight. Non-stop. No one could get a word in edgewise. Elisa didn’t even try for the most part; she was completely silent for well over 10 minutes after it first started. Whenever Andy tried to chime in, Eric was not having it. Thankfully, Andy took it in stride and seemed amused by it all. It was one of the most surreal half hours you will ever witness if you’re lucky enough to watch this incredible show every week.

Elisa abruptly ended this week’s Kermit and Friends after asking Andy if he was ready to go to the Four Seasons during Eric’s tirade. This is one KAF episode that will never be forgotten. If you have not watched it yet, this review is nowhere near giving it justice. Just stop whatever you’re doing right now and click play.

[straightbaittournament]

only the option with the least votes will be eliminated! the rest go on to round 3. propaganda under the cut (and more always welcome!):

kit tanthalos and graydon hastur:

Classic arranged marriage trope but the she-hates-him part never goes away because she’s in love with her best friend/bodyguard Jade

tobias funke and debrie bardeaux:

Tobias gets left by his first wife for not being sexually attracted to her and then has an affair with a gay porn actress from a series called straightbait I just think it’s pretty funny. Debrie starred in a series of softcore gay porn films called Straightbait where she seduces a guy but tells him he has to sleep with another man before he sleeps with her to prove how attracted to her he is, thus proving he isn’t gay. Tobias is also super gay. They date for like 40 episodes and raise a son together.

izuku midoriya and ochako uraraka:

It’s the classic main character x friend who is a girl ship. They have no actual romantic interactions outside of their friendship. Ochako has “feelings” for Izuku, but they are clearly feelings of friendship until one of her friends insists that she must have a crush on Izuku, making her feel confused and embarrassed. Izuku clearly sees Ochako as a good friend, but when they first meet, he blushes and thinks “I can’t believe I just talked to a girl.” On the same day, he also blushes when he sees that a famous male hero is proctoring their exams. It’s literally so boring as a romantic ship. They have no chemistry as a couple.

willow park and hunter:

THEY ARE NOT STRAIGHT THEY R BI4PAN BUT IT IS AN M/F RELATIONSHIP They are an M/F relationship in The Gay Show and they are hinted and teased but never confirmed

raleigh becket and mako mori:

Literally everything about the writing of Pacific Rim makes it seem like they're setting up for a romance between these two and then they just. Don't. Despite this, "drift compatible" was one of the most popular AUs for couples after the film came out for a hot minute because of how romantic these two made the concept seem. *gestures to the entire movie* seriously

jeff winger and britta perry:

the show starts off with jeff creating the study group so that he can get with britta, they serve essentially as narrative foils, with jeff not caring about people and britta caring too much about people, they nearly get married on THREE (3) separate occasions, they're secret friends with benefits for an entire season but break up when the group finds out, they're the only two people from the core group left in greendale when the show ends; but in the end they make jeff's "true love interest" the girl who was half his age when the show started (36/18)...

asuka tenjoin and yuki judai:

The ship name (fianceshipping) comes from the episode where Judai *accidentally* duels some guy to become Asuka's fiance (said guy never asks Asuka how she feels about this, ugghhh greater Duel Academia student body be normal about ladies challenge). Turns out that he *didn't know what a fiance was* and just wanted to have a good ol' time cardgaming. I think that this says more about this ship than anything else I could tell you. During the final season, Asuka almost confesses to him but cuts herself off & they then thank each other for giving each other some clarity of mind because they're both going through pretty rough times at that point in the plot. Looks concerningly like they're about to do a whole "ohh we need to make the main girl and boy romance out of obligation" bit and then they just don't do it. It's great. I have no idea if this counts because I didn't personally feel baited but I think they're very fun as a pair and I like them 🫡. judai is the gayest guy of all time (subtext) and im like 80% sure asuka was experiencing comphet bc he's the only guy in their grade that treats her like a person. besties 4ever!!!!!!!! straightmod has been informed that judai is also textually queer because he is canonically attracted to a non-binary character.

kwan and win:

This is a Thai teen drama that focuses on many teens going through hardships and it's very dramatic and very fun I love it so much THESE TWO. They circled around each other for two whole seasons and the tension was there!! He was a bad boy, she was a good girl, every time they spoke there was something in the air. They were both arguably the leads of an ensemble cast and it really felt like they were being set up to get together but then it just... never happens. This show has been out for 10 years and I'm still mad about it. THE WASTED POTENTIAL OF IT ALL

valkyrie and thor:

Like a lot of ships with a white man and a woman of color, their chemistry and history get shunted to the side by racist writers and fans who refuse to acknowledge them as anything other than friends.

good luck everyone! now go vote!

[everybodylovesrand]

Raje Judkins answered some questions about the show. Filming spoilers for the show below:

Q: What part of the books should you be caught up on for the first season?

A: Depends on if you like to read something before you watch it or not.

Q: What are you finding most challenging about going from book to screen? A: The hardest thing is the physicality of production. In the first book alone they go to more than 20 villages and cities. To try to do that is physically impossible for the show, so most of the work we don in the room is geographical, figuring how to condense the story and move it through places we can physically create.

Q: Do you have a favorite chapter from the whole saga? Mine is Veins of Gold. A: So many. But Honey in the Tea is the one off the top of my head.

Q: We can’t wait to see Elayne, Aviendha and Min

A: Me either. Three of my favorites.

Q: Has any post-production work begun or does that not start until filming is completed?

A: Nope! We do it simultaneously. Before the corona hit, I was prepping 2 episodes, shooting 2 episodes, in post on 4 episodes and writing Season 2 simultaneously :-0

Q: Will there be a soundtrack? Who’s the composer? A: Of course! David Buckley. Plus a few incredible musical guests we’ve already had.

Q: Are Min/Elayne in season 1? A: The Wheel weaves as the wheel wills

Q: Are you going to merge Min and Elayne? A: Hell no

Q: First moment you were speechless on set? A: First time walking into Emond’s Field with my mom

Q: Is mat fluent in the old tongue yet? A: We’ve had a couple cast members speak in it already and they NAILED IT

Q: Which character has your favorite costume so far? A: Ooo this is tough. Probably Geofram Bornhald.

Q: How is the cast and crew weathering the pandemic? A: Our team in Prague did an amazing job of getting everyone out and keeping them safe. And now everyone’s home and we all live on Instagram.

Q: Who is your favorite Forsaken? A: Ahhh. I love the ladies. Graendal, Lanfear, Moghedien. And Ishamael holds a special place in my heart the more time I spend with him

Q: What’s been your favourite shooting location so far? A: Slovenia! Spectacular stuff there

Q: Yes or no. Have you had to make any cuts be it a scene or character, that has been painful for you? A: Yes.

Q: How are you planning to handle the visualization of the weaves? Any little tidbits? A: We are trying to stay as true to the books as possible. I’ve been giving a bunch of VFX folks long diatribes about channeling, weaves, threads, earth vs. air, etc and they early stuff has started coming in. It looks FUCKING AWESOME. I screamed when Rosamund started channeling

Q: Similar to Them performing in an old Inn, what other iconic moment filmed stands out to u? A: Rand and Tam walking through the Westwood

Q: Blink twice if Min is in season 1. A: 😉😉

Q: Will Jeff Probst be one of the Aiel? Can you make some calls? A: If he dyes his hair red 😉

Q: Which WOT book title best describes your self isolation experience? A: A Memory of Light…

Q: Can we expect a trailer for the show anytime soon? A: Probably not for a long while sadly.

Q: Can you guys do a big WoT Wed announcement during the hiatus to keep all us fans hyped instead of al A: Yea! It would cheer us all up and we have some fun news

Q: Is Lan going to be as much or an absolute stud in the show as he is in the books? A: You’ve seen @danielhenney right?

Q: If you were an Aes Sedai, what Ajah would you choose? A: Such a good question. They all have merits but GREEN for the win. If only to hang with @priyankabose20

Q: Will we have to wait till season 2 to see any Aiel? (Other than Rand)

A: Nope. And the one you see will shock you. Hah. Amazon shouldn’t let me be on here when I’ve been cooped up for a week.

Q: RJ writes a lot of internal headspace stuff. What’s 1 hint on how the show will handle that? A: That’s the biggest difficulty of any novel adaptation. Figuring out how to make the internal monologue come out clearly to the audience. A lot of the changes we make and stories we tell differently are designed to serve exactly that purpose – showing you what those characters internal monologues from the book are without them just saying it out loud in exposition

Q: Are you using taller actors to portray the Aiel, or camera trickery? A: Trying to get tall folks. But I’m less concerned with height and more concerned with acting ability.

Q: Since JordanCon was cancelled, can we maybe get an extra treat next month? A: Sure! What do you want?

Q: Do you have a favorite Wise One? A: Avi

Q: How many trollocs do I have to take out to become a writing assistant? A: Violence is never the answer

Q: What would you say the CGI to practical ratio is going to be? A: Tring to do as much in camera as we possibly can!

Q: How are you handling sword forms and their names? A: We have a for real sword master on the show who walks into every room and tests out everything as a weapon. He could most definitely kill me with any item in my office.

Q: How are the horses on set? Is Mandarb spectacular? A: They are so great. Honestly I love our horses. Mandarb and Aldieb are downright sexy

Q: When will we get more casting announcements to hold us over? A: I’ll try to get them to put out something soon. A lot of folks in all departments are affected by the state of the world right now though, so I can’t promise a timeline

Q: will we see the prologue from the Eye of the World on screen in season 1 A: You will hear that phrase

Q: What has been your favorite set so far? A: Fal Dara!

Q: Please tell me you’ve cut Narg!! A: Never!!

Q To what extent has Harriet McDougal been involved with the project? A: She’s a consulting producer so she’s been out to Prague to the sets and reads all the scripts and sends me her notes on them. She and Maria are hugely helpful for maintaining the truth of the series and always keep me honest when it comes to things that change too much

Q: Is any aspect of the show still in development, or has it all stalled because of the virus? A: A lot can be done virtually! I’m still doing VFX, editing and the Season Two Virtual Writers Room! And I can do it all in pajamas

Q: Will min, elayne, and avienda have to be combined into a single character?

A: Girl you crazy. I’m not going to combine huge characters like that. Maybe sometimes a minor character folded into a more major one to make better use of our cast but nothing nutso

Q: RJ created 1000’s of character. Given that did you feel the need to create new characters? A: Anyone “new” is inspired by characters in the books or a number of characters combined. If we paid to cast all speaking roles in the book we could only afford to have a radio play

Q: So far, what is your favorite prop in the show? A: Great Serpent Ring. We all want one.

Q: Will Loial portray the Ogier species, or will he be humanised for screen? A: He’s an Ogier!

Q: How involved, if involved at all, is Sanderson in the writers room? A: Brandon is hugely helpful. I talked to him before we started Season Two while he was in Prague to get advice and he reads all the scripts and gives notes. He’s incredibly thoughtful and understands the process of adaptation and what’s required from it. I feel so lucky to have him involved. I would have him do more if I could make him!

Q: What words of hope would you offer a fan afraid that the show will cut out a lot of content? A: I genuinely think we are cutting less than most people think. When I see people ask questions like “are you cutting Min?” It blows my mind. I don’t know how you do an adaptation without some of these characters. I think it’ll be more of the smaller stories you’ll miss. We can’t have Rand and May (sic) travel to many many inns on their travels across the countryside for instance. It’s just not producible. So that will be more of what you miss I think, and the books always exist to read for that 🙂

Q: I think Bella is such an important character, will the same horse play bella through the series A: We’ve already had to have two Belas. It turns out a horse for riding on film is not the same as a horse for pulling a cart and SHE MUST DO BOTH

Q: Can you please make sure you do a great job? Book are so great A: This is are a really good idea

Q: Now you’ve met them, settle the score: who’s better with women? Rand, Mat or Perrin? A: I think they’d all say it’s the other

Q: Will the show be understandable for those who didn’t read the books? A: That’s the idea. If there are little things they don’t get though, luckily google exists

Q: Who is your favorite Aes Sedai in the books? And you can’t say Moiraine/Siuan or the Wonder Girls A: So many rules. I honestly love all of them though (except Galina that bitch) Alanna Liandrin and Verin are probably my Top 3. And Siuan! There’s too many I love. Sheriam! Pevara!

https://www.wotseries.com/2020/03/22/show-runner-rafe-judkins-does-an-ama-on-instagram/

[papermoonloveslucy]

TIGHT SHOES

April 12, 1942

The Gulf Screen Guild Theater present Damon Runyon’s comedy Tight Shoes, which was a 1941 Universal Pictures success. 

Directed and Hosted by: Roger Pryor

Music by: Oscar Bradley

Written by: Damon Runyon

The Screen Guild Theater (aka The Screen Guild Players), was one of the most popular drama anthology series during the Golden Age of Radio. At this point it is being sponsored by Gulf Oil. From its first broadcast in 1939, up to its farewell in 1952, it showcased radio adaptations of popular Hollywood films. Many Hollywood names became part of the show, including Bette Davis, Bing Crosby, Clark Gable, Judy Garland, Frank Sinatra, and many more. The actors’ fees were all donated to the Motion Picture Relief Fund, an organization that provides aid to retired actors. Screen Guild Theater was heard on different radio networks, beginning with CBS from 1939 to 1948, NBC from 1948 to 1950, ABC from 1950 to 1951, and back to CBS until its last episode on June 29, 1952. Throughout its run, a total of 527 episodes were produced.

Tight Shoes was a 1941 comedy film directed by Albert S. Rogell based on the 1936 story of the same name by Damon Runyon. The film was produced by Universal Pictures. It was re-released in November 1947. 

The Daily Variety review called the film "...the closest interpretation of the Damon Runyon humor that has yet been brought to the screen." 

The story was again broadcast on radio as part of “The Damon Runyon Theater” on October 30, 1949. The cast included Alan Reed, Gerald Mohr, Frank Lovejoy, Herb Vigran, Sheldon Leonard, William Conrad, Jeff Chandler, Lionel Stander, Sidney Miller, Olive Deering, and Joe De Santis.

RADIO CAST

Lucille Ball (Sybil Anderson) plays the role originated in the film by Binnie Barnes. She had just released her film Valley of the Sun, which was her 54th film since coming to Hollywood in 1933. 

Sylvia Ash is the self-described “Biggest Star on Broadway”. In the film version, Sybil’s last name is Ash. 

Red Skelton (Swifty Miller) plays the role originated in the film by Broderick Crawford. He also starred with Lucille Ball in the films Having Wonderful Time (1938), Thousands Cheer (1943),  Du Barry Was A Lady (1943), Ziegfeld Follies (1946), and The Fuller Brush Girl (1950).  On TV he appeared on “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour” in “Lucy Goes To Alaska” (1958). Ball and Skelton appeared in numerous TV specials together.

In the film version, the character is known as Speedy. 

George Tobias (Blooch) plays the role originated in the film by Edward Gargan. He later appeared with Lucille Ball in the film The Magic Carpet (1951). 

SYNOPSIS

Shoe store owner Amalfi is forced by crook Swifty Miller to allow the business to be a front for illegal gambling. Jimmy Rupert is a clerk in the store and sells a pair of shoes to Miller that are too small and hurt his feet. Distracted by his pinched feet in the tight shoes, Swifty places a losing bet on the horse named Feet First. A fight ensues with his girlfriend Sybil and she leaves him. He blames his loss on Rupert and gets him fired from the shoe store. In response, Rupert complains about crooked politicians who allow crime to flourish, and successfully runs for office. He is opposed by the newspaper, but supported by Miller's ex-girlfriend Sybil. On the day he wins the election, Rupert and Sybil are engaged to be married. 

“TIGHT” TRIVIA

This is not Lucille Ball’s only time appearing in a script by Damon Runyon. She often said her favorite performance of hers was in The Big Street (1946), based on the Runyon story “Little Pinks”.  Lucille Ball did another Damon Runyon story, Sorrowful Jones in 1949, based on his 1932 story “Little Miss Marker,” which had previously been filmed in 1934. Damon Runyon also created the source material for the hit Broadway musical Guys and Dolls (1950), which starred Robert Alda, who went on to make several appearances on “The Lucy Show.” When the film version was made by MGM in 1955, Lucy and Desi were also under contract to the studio. A brief clip of the film was inserted into the middle of an episode of “I Love Lucy” called “Lucy and the Dummy” (S5;E3), although the clip was removed after its initial airing.

Because it was wartime, the Gulf commercials stressed using high-grade gas and motor oil to reduce waste and conserve. 

The story is told in flashback, starting with Swifty Miller in the Army, giving advice to a soldier who wants to burn his shoes because they are hurting his feet. 

“He bet fifty thousand dollars on a nag called Feet First to come in head first, but it was dead first, and carried out feet first.” ~ Sybil  

Like most characters in Runyon stories, Swifty and Sybil are gamblers, and like going to the racetrack.  Lucy and Desi also were fond of horse racing, and frequently attended racing at Del Mar in California. Several episodes of Lucy sitcoms were modeled around racing and racehorses. 

Mr. Amalfi wonders if the government still prints $10,000 bills. He is correct! The bill was last printed in 1934. Even in 1942 there were not many in circulation. Today they are very rare, and the highest value US bill to be accepted for a transaction. 

Swifty says he has bought a new victory suit. Sybil wonders if the victory was at Bull Run? The Battle of Bull Run was the first major battle of the American Civil War. The battle was fought on July 21, 1861. Sylvia is intimating that his suit is woefully out of style. 

Swifty says he’d do anything for Sylvia, even tear up his autographed picture of Roger Pryor. Pryor was a leading man of Broadway and Hollywood, doing 50 films between 1930 and 1945. He was married to Lucille Ball’s friend and co-star Ann Sothern, but the couple divorced the same year this radio show aired. 

“I’m off my onion for ya, sweet pea. Or maybe it’s just gas pushin’ up under my heart.” ~ Swifty

When Sybil entertains at the political rally, the orchestra plays “My Heart Belongs To Daddy” written by Cole Porter for  the 1938 Broadway musical Leave It to Me. Marilyn Monroe would sing it in the 1960 film Let’s Make Love. Lucille Ball sings it on “The Lucy Show” in “Lucy the Gun Moll” (TLS S4;E25) on March 14, 1966. In this radio show, Lucille Ball does not sing, we merely hear the orchestra playing. 

A radio reporter talks about the local election using fictional names, but when mentioning the national election, he says “Roosevelt is leading Wilkie.”  This places the date of the action on November 5, 1940, when incumbent Franklin D. Roosevelt handily defeated Republican challenger Wendell L. Wilkie for President of the United States. Swifty talks back to the radio and says “Yeah, we know that.”  Due to the war, Roosevelt sought an unprecedented third term, and very few expected him to be defeated in light of his popularity. 

When Jimmy objects to Swifty’s tone around Sybil, Swifty calls him “Emily.”  This is a reference to well known authority on etiquette, Emily Post (1872-1960).  She was an author, whose newspaper columns and radio broadcasts were very popular in the 1940s. 

The show ends with a promotion for next week’s show “A Woman’s Face” starring Bette Davis, Osa Massen, and Conrad Veidt. The 1941 film originally starred Joan Crawford in the role taken by Davis. Massen and Veidt reprise their roles from the MGM film directed by George Cukor. 

The announcer says that Lucille Ball will soon be seen on screen in Little Pinks, which was the working title for The Big Street, also by Damon Runyon.  

[itspileofgoodthings]

community characters and what i like about each of them:

jeff: he’s a softie pretending not to be. a classic character archetype and a good one. he’s the official/unofficial dad of the group. he’s always got everyone’s back even though he’ll grumble about it, he’s selfish but deep down, ugh, fine, maybe he cares. he pretends to be exasperated but really he loves it. he loves them. it’s both sweet and funny to see.

pierce: he’s awful and cringey but he’s also truthfully lonely and awkward in a way that’s funny and that makes seeing him be included, maybe for the first time in his life, thrilling to my mushy gushy heart. he’s also just so off the wall and abrupt and sometimes when i’m really tired it makes me laugh until i cry.

shirley: i love the way her sweet act covers a hard ass and so occasionally she’s got to drop the voice and get serious. she plays the two against each other so well. also she’s so girly and flawed and i love that. she’s got strong mother instincts but also we see she’s very much a lost girl herself (re: her husband especially). she doesn’t have all the answers! there’s a kind of vulnerability to her that’s great and that we see rarely with older women. 

britta: the first couple of episodes establish her only as the snarky hot girl who thinks she’s better than everyone but as it keeps going the show lets her get wackier and weirder than that. she’s at her best when she’s being all blustery and soapbox-y about a social justice issue but in a way where you see it’s her defense/coping mechanism for the world. like it kinda seems to spring from insecurity which makes her feel more grounded. and it’s also great when the show calls her out on it. WHEN THEY CALL HER A BUZZKILL. AMAZING

annie: i love annie because she’s so sunshiney but also still layered. sometimes she’s brisk sunshine energy, sometimes bubbling, sometimes manic. i love her overachieving streak and her wide-eyed innocence and her overflowing sweetness but she’s better than the cliche in part because the show kind of lets her be insane (the show lets everyone be insane) but also because there is a core of steel in her that’s underneath all of her sunshine. she holds people accountable, she holds them together, she makes them rise to the challenge even when, especially when, she’s being cute and charming or seemingly deranged. she doesn’t let go of things, she’s determined and fierce and good.

abed: he’s brilliant, of course but what i love is that his brilliance is never limited to academics. in fact, the show never even says that’s where it really lies. it’s a sprawling brilliance, it covers everything he touches, it’s the force behind and the secret success of all his weird schemes and ideas--the way his mind thinks accurately and precisely in terms of tv tropes and themes and stock characters, the way he can create and run a whole chicken operation that takes over the school or accurately eviscerate the flaws of everyone in the room in 3 seconds flat. he’s got such a strong streak of genius in him and we see it played out in the world of friendship and humor in a way that’s so weird and special. 

troy: okay but he is kind of legit my favorite. he’s got the absolute sweetest most child-like quality to him but not in a way where he seems stupid. he’s not stupid at all! but his magic isn’t in what he knows but in the way he loves things and reacts to them and responds to them. it’s with this wide-eyed wonder that is SO funny but also really sweet and pure. Watching him react to things, especially when his mind is blown, is literally one of my favorite things about this show. It’s always wildly entertaining and it’s also always true. Donald Glover is such an incredible actor. 

[sheriffofmagic]

So you’ve gotten into Polygon.... now what?

This is basically a master post of recommendations for people who are new to Polygon fandom/not deep in the polygon lore and are looking for some recommendations/direction. 

Things I assume you’ve already seen but if you haven’t you should check out: Unraveled, Monster Factory, Overboard

Personal Faves:

Gill and Gilbert - A series in which Pat and Brian do weekly challenges while they play video games badly

Peacecraft - Griffin plays a pacifist run in World of Warcraft. No spoilers but it has a super satisfying conclusion and very good goofs.

Please Retweet - Pat desperately tries to get Nintendo to retweet a very good picture of toad that he made (Warning: if you’re looking to avoid N*ck maybe skip this one as he’s in a few episodes)

Video Game Theatre - The Polygon video team acts out iconic video game scenes.

Griffin’s Amiibo Corner - Griffin reviews Nintendo Amiibo’s based on the most important factor: can you vore it?

Jackbox - Ensemble series where a rotating group of Polygon people play Jackbox games and give us Good Content.

Series Recs/Underappreciated Gems:

Law Abiding Citizen - VASTLY underappreciated. Russ is a normal video game citizen trying to go about his life and Justin is the devil on his shoulder telling him “Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you ever wanna go apeshit?”

Game Ogre - Simone and Pat have been cursed and now have to play video games using one hand each on the same controller. It’s chaos.

Filmbreakers - Brian and Simone fuck around in VR to create a cinematic masterpiece.

Yellface - Jeff and Simone play horror games and see how long Simone can go without causing Jeff physical harm.

FiendZone - Jenna uses her Knowledge to educate us about horror tropes in gaming. A good place for anyone who wants to appreciate Jenna. (these videos aren’t in a playlist and are hard to search for :/)

Brand Slam - Pat makes brands fight to the death in a symbolic destruction of capitalism

Individual Vids not part of a larger series:

American Truck Simulator - Griffin and Justin fuck around. I can’t describe it better than that.

Pat’s Pets - Pat ranks animals in games on how good they are.

Polygon Investigates: Lootboxes - Probably one of my favorite stand-alone vids. I can’t adequately explain it. It’s an Experience.

Spy Party - Griffin and Justin Fuck around

Simone’s 2017 Games of the Year - This video isn’t inherently funny or anything but it is the video I found out she was Not Straight from so it’s special to me okay?

Which Super Smash Bros character is Your State? - idk it’s a mess and it’s wonderful

Pat Fixes Anthem - He has a few vids like this that aren’t in a playlist but are worth your time (I’ll post links to others if requested)

Good Shit Ruined by the Presence of a Slime Human:

imo a lot of these are still worth a view but I understand people wanting to avoid videos with N*ck

Touch the Skyrim - Car Boys - First Half of Awful Squad - Griffin’s Infamous Cronch

Streams Worth Your Time:

Awful Squad - the Gang playing PUBG with limited success

Brian Plays Half-Life for the First Time - pretty self-explanatory

The Baseball Game - Pat and Allegra rank video game intros. It’s good content

E3 2019 Streams - tbh i think all the e3 streams from any year are worth your time but in the 2019 ones Brian commits crimes against nature on his body (food crimes) 

Smash Party - A bunch of different people play Smash Bros. It’s a good time.

I tried to be comprehensive here but I probably forgot a few and I haven’t personally seen everything I’m sure in a couple of months there’ll be more (new and old) that I’ll see that belongs on this list. 

Hopefully, this is a good start!

[totallypathet]

Episode Nine

Is it just me, or is anyone else less of a Jeff Goldblum fan after that show? Very bizarre. Speaking of bizarre, can we talk about Roople's wardrobe this season? Theres been a few looks I've absolutely hated, but that look he wore on the main stage was actually heinous. I mean honestly, what is he spending that fracking money on? Bc it ain't wardrobe, hair or makeup.

Let's chat quickly about the mini challenge as well. Remember when mini challenges were fun, light entertainment sketches instead of straight up advertisements? Greed ain't a good look Roop.

The main challenge this week was a really great concept. It worked well in season 4 (except for PhiPhi, but that's to be expected), it makes sense to bring it back for another election year. I also think it was a great choice to bring it back this year, it opens the door for really important political conversations - like the struggles of being LGBT+ in conservative states, being black or a POC in the US in general, being an immigrant... I'm so glad that the space was given for the queens (Widow and Jackie in particular) to have those conversations. However, I think there was too many queens to make that debate coherent. They didn't give it enough time, the editing was bizarre, and it was really tough to follow what was actually happening and who did well/didn't do well.

All that said, let's jump into the breakdown...

1. Crystal Methyd

Crystal makes me proud every week, and this week was no exception! She just jumps from strength to strength and I love her more and more each week! Her debate was pretty good, I love that she really leant into the drag aspect, and (obviously) her mullet, and she made me laugh! I enjoyed her. And her loooooook on the runway!! She was giving me lifeee, I just absolutely loved it! I didn't get what carson was saying about it being too much at all - it was very Alyssa Edwards, like it should be too much but it just works. The hat, with the blue hair, and her make-up, I loved all of it. Great night for Crystal!

2. Gigi Goode

Gigi suffered from the edit I think this week. I get that she was going for this robotic character, but she didn't really get the time to build, it was too fast paced. But also I definitely get what the judges were saying, she's clearly not very politically engaged, which is a shame. I think in these times we all have to be a little bit politically aware - I'm not saying you have to know every detail and get news alerts every 5 seconds, but you just have to know a bit, yknow? I'm not even American and I feel like I probably know US politics better than Gigi does.

Also, we've seen the robotic character before. Show us something new.

I didn't live for her runway either. It seemed like a less good version of her entrance look. It felt lazy somehow, and I just wonder if Widow had worn it would the judges have gagged over it so much? Or did it only work bc Gigi is a skinny white queen? I dont know. I think Gigi should have been lip syncing this week - but I guess the producers know they can't pit her against Widow because Widow would wipe the floor with her.

I feel like Gigi is coasting, and it's a shame. She's better than this. I wonder if maybe she might have needed another couple of years just to really solidify her star power.

3. Heidi N Closet

The thing that confused me most about Heidi this week was that in the work room she had that really great slogan "no more closets" that she was toting, then she didn't say it once in the challenge? I didn't get it. Regardless, I thought Heidi was great in the challenge! She looked the part, she gave me that conservative Southern Belle character with her (literal) pearl clutching, I enjoyed it. She looked like she was having fun, and that's my favourite thing on this show; when I watch a queen have fun, I have fun. Loved it.

Her look on the runway was cute, she did the assignment, she looked great. It wasn't particularly creative, but I enjoyed it. Really strong night for Heidi.

4. Jackie Cox

Jackie was so so so important this week. Of course, as Persian LGBT+ representation, she's always important, but this week really opened the door for her to delve deeper into her story, and talk about how important it is to be politically aware, how affected immigrant families are under Tr*mp's presidency, how affected Muslims are, the importance of voting, what the word "American" means... so so so important. I'm so glad she told her story, and I'm so proud of her for representing her heritage.

Having said that, she wasn't great in the debate. I thought the Canadian thing was funny, but it didn't develop, it just sort of flat lined. And it was a shame, because she fully looked the campaign trail part.

Her runway look was perfect. It was so powerful, and so beautiful, and it will have touched so many LGBT+ muslims around the world.

5. Jaida Essence Hall

Jaida was so good this week. I loved her character in the main challenge, it was so absurd that it was just hilarious! And she managed it being absurd and funny on the top layer, and underneath was this perfect satire and cynicism. And she was so quick! So witty! And she looked like she was having so much fun. I remember I said a few weeks ago that I felt a little bit disconnected from Jaida, but this week i felt like we were just seeing pure Jaida. She was just enjoying herself and I related to her so much. I was so happy watching her this week. She fully deserved her win.

However. I hated her runway. I dont know why! I just really hated it. Her hair and makeup was beautiful (of course!) but that outfit was just... I don't know, it confused me. Maybe that was the point, maybe it was an extension of her character in the challenge and I just didn't get that!

6. Widow Von Du

I'm so sad about Widow. I absolutely adore her, she was one of my absolute favourites from the beginning; watching her go right after Jan was so hard.

I do think she deserved to be in the bottom, which is kind of shitty because she didn't do a bad job at all! It's just that she wasn't that funny, and we all know that that's the trick to this show. She really looked the part, and she had some jokes, I just wonder if she was off rhythm because she was so tired. And then as soon as she got frustrated on the runway, we knew it was all she wrote. Which is also shitty! She was frustrated, and she had every right to be! It seemed like she couldn't do right in front of the judges. I felt like she was just airing her feelings and expressing her emotions. I don't know why the judges are so opposed to that on the main stage. Like it seems to be fine when they just demurely cry, but as soon as they have something to say about the critiques, no matter how valid it is, they get bashed for "not taking constructive feedback". I dont like that - she's upset, she should be allowed to be upset. If you dont like it that much, cut it out in the edit, but damn she's allowed to have feelings.

Also I loved her look this week. So powerful, so important, so beautiful.

I just hope she knows how incredible she is, and is able to recognise how great her work was throughout the show.

I do have a couple of other things to say about this episode (me? Have opinions? Unheard of!).

First of all, Jeff Goldblum was way out of line talking about Islam being homophobic/sexist. Jackie was making an important statement about how important representation is, and it was totally inappropriate to turn that into a religious debate. I do think it's so important to talk about LGBT+ rights and womens rights globally, but it's also really important to distinguish between culture and religion. And even more important to recognise the difference between governmental culture and social culture. It's an incredibly nuanced topic, and he clearly isn't well informed. To be honest though, even if he hadn't said it the way he said it; he shouldn't have been talking over her about issues that directly affect her. The whole thing was inappropriate. At worst, it was racist/islamophobic, at best it was tone deaf and misjudged.

Secondly, let's all just take a moment to think about how this episode dealt with politics, politically charged subjects and patriotism; and how interesting it is that the two queens who chose to represent black and Muslim empowerment were in the bottom two. Just something to think about.